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aion-rsa · 3 years ago

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Fear Street Part 3: 1666 Ending Explained

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This article contains Fear Street Part Three: 1666 spoilers.

It never could be as simple as reuniting an ancient skeleton’s hand with its wrist, right? That became obvious last week when the Fear Street trilogy’s ostensible heroine Deena Johnson (Kiana Madeira) attempted to break the curse of Sarah Fier by attaching all missing appendages in the alleged witch’s grave… only to be warped to Shadyside’s early days in 1666.

Now in Fear Street Part Three: 1666, we’ve learned the full unholy breadth of Shadyside’s curse, as well as their sister township Sunnyvale’s good fortune—and it’s dark. Involving a perversion of all that is good(e), the curse that has taken so many beloved characters over the centuries turned out to be more twisted than perhaps anyone expected… but not for Sarah Fier, a victim of superstition and misogynistic zealotry. And in the end, Sarah got the last blood-curdling laugh. Here’s how.

Goode Men, Wicked Slaves

For all those who became suspicious last week of the recurring Goode family, your paranoia has been vindicated: that cop really is the Devil. Or at least he’s in service of the Dark One.

By traveling to 1666, Deena was able to walk around in Sarah Fier’s shoes and get a taste firsthand of what it’s like to be wrongfully accused of witchcraft by a Puritanical community (even if she inaccurately later describes them to be Pilgrims). As it turns out, Sarah was not a witch; she was merely the young woman who’s secret love for Hannah Miller (Olivia Scott Welch) caused a spurned suitor named Solomon Goode (Ashley Zukerman) to take umbrage. And as it so happens, Solomon was the one actually dabbling in the dark arts….

Aye, it was Solomon Goode who spilled his blood on Satan’s stone, beginning the process of offering “one name” and soul for demonic corruption in turn for good fortune for the Family Goode. When Sarah rejects his offer to join his unholy bargain with Black Phillip—and more vexingly takes offense over his severing her hand—Goode accuses Sarah for the black magic that’s bewitched Shadyside: the curse which caused a murderous minister to blind children!

Sarah hangs, but not before offering a curse of her own: She will get back at Goode one day and reverse his damnable curse. In the meantime—and at a cost of more than 300 years of functional blood sacrifices—Goode and his family profit from their deal with Old Nick. From father to son, the mainline of the Goode family tree teaches the dark ways to each successive generation, who every decade or so offers a new name and a new soul. The person selected for damnation then goes on a killing spree, spilling blood that the Devil apparently feeds on. Beelzebub in turn grants the Goode family and their Sunnyvale town ongoing prosperity. Hence why by 1994, Nick Goode (also Zukerman) is a corrupt police sheriff and his brother Matthew Goode is the mayor of Sunnyvale.

Meanwhile, Shadyside persists in squalor until….

Magic Blood?

The most satisfying twist of Fear Street Part Three is that halfway through, it becomes Fear Street: 1994 Part 2! To be honest the accents in the 1666 portion of the film were a little dicey, as was the, uh, lack of Puritanism in a film set amongst Puritans. So best to go back to the era of flannel and overalls!

When Deena returns to the ‘90s, she realizes that Sheriff Goode has offered the soul of her girlfriend Sam Fraser (also Welch) to the Devil so she’d kill Deena and keep the secrets of Sarah Fier’s shallow grave buried. And since they have Sam locked up at Ziggy’s house, that means all the Goode family’s damned minions are soon going to be after them. But our heroes come up with a pretty nifty plan.

Thanks to how they saw Shadyside’s collection of nightmares pursue Sam in Fear Street Part 1, Deena and her brother Josh (Benjamin Flores Jr.) deduce that the ghouls will be strictly after Deena’s blood—which low-key makes me wonder how the monsters have such genetic precision to distinguish Deena’s DNA from that of her brother’s. In any event, they team up with adult Ziggy (Gillian Jacobs) and Martin (Darrell Britt-Gibson) by offering the movie-stealing line of the night:

Josh: Wanna help us kill Sheriff Goode?

Martin: Let me get my coat.

The plan for getting it done is also initially pretty solid. They sneak into the Shadyside mall after hours—which just so happens to be built on the site of the Camp Nightwing massacre, which in turn is above where the Goode family’s Satan’s stone is buried beneath the earth—and have Deena cut her hand, dripping blood into a bucket. Then by combining that blood with green paint, they’re able to create cursed blood trails throughout the mall, with each trail leading into a different department store. When four of Deena’s pursuant boogeymen show up, our Scooby gang locks the monsters into their department stores and waits for Sheriff Goode to arrive and inspect the remains of his handiwork. Instead of mangled bodies, he finds his teenage crush Ziggy, now ready to dump blood on his head like Carrie references never went out of style.

It’s an elaborate plan which was built on the idea of unleashing all the ghouls intended to kill Deena on their own master. However, it might’ve just been simpler to shoot him. Oh well.

This final flourish of course goes horribly wrong but at least we get the fun sequence where the hapless heroes figure out they can delay the monsters by spraying each in Deena’s green blood, allowing for proxy fights between pseudo-Jason Voorhees and pseudo-Ghostface.

All Goode Things Come to an End

The actual resolution to this centuries-long terror turns out to be pretty simple. Deena follows Goode beneath the mall and to the Satan’s stone, as well as the literal unholy beating heart of the Goode family’s power. While she fails at stabbing the much bigger evil copper, she at least succeeds at running a knife through his power’s beating heart. It’s apparently as easy as that to undo the curse. It also allows the vengeful spirit of Sarah Fier to return from the dead and finally stab a Goode boy in the eye, sending him to Hell and Shadyside’s curse with him.

The plot’s mechanics are simple, but the implications are much more interesting. Because who else follows Nick and Deena toward the mouth of Hell but Sam, still possessed and now conveniently free of her restraints. She also attempts to thwart Deena and nearly kills her, yet Deena is able to make simple eye contact with her one great love and break through, shattering Satan’s grip.

It’s intriguing since, technically, we’ve seen Goode’s curse divide lovers before, with Tommy Slater (McCabe Slye) in Fear Street Part Two: 1978 not even hesitating to swing his axe into girlfriend Cindy’s heart. But then Deena and Sam’s love is strongly hinted at as being of a greater emotional purity. After all, Sam is clearly a descendant of Hannah Miller, the young woman whom Sarah Fier loved and saved from the noose by insisting that she alone was the witch of Shadyside, even bewitching poor Hannah into impure thoughts.

Are Deena and Sam the reincarnations of Sarah and Hannah? It’s possible, if even on a spiritual level since Sarah doesn’t appear to have any direct descendants. In any case, unlike so many slasher movies released between the 1970s and ‘90s, a lesbian romance is prominently featured at the center of this story, and is even the one redemptive light in Shadyside’s darkness.

Movies

The Netflix Fear Street Part 2: 1978 Easter Egg You Might Not Have Spotted

By Rosie Fletcher

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Fear Street Part Two: 1978 Breaks Friday the 13th’s Darkest Rule

By David Crow

It also makes a striking juxtaposition next to Nick Goode’s dead body. This man might have been the current beneficiary of his ancestor’s bargain, but he represents something grimmer: the predatory nature of a society’s affluent feeding off the suffering and annual tragedies of their community’s underclasses. Sunnyvale flourished as a home for the wealthy while Shadyside wallowed in blood and trauma.

Kind of cuts deep the longer you think about it.

So… Who Took the Spell Book?

Of course this wouldn’t be an old school horror movie if it didn’t set up a sequel. Fear Street Part Three definitely offers resolution for its current narrative: Nick Goode is dead and exposed in the press as the Sunnyvale serial killer; Josh, meanwhile, may yet have his first girlfriend; and Deena and Sam are together, honoring Sarah Fier, if no one else will.

But beneath the reopened Shadyside Mall, we glimpse the book of black magic that Solomon Goode first used to make his pact, and a pair of hands belonging to an unseen face snatch it. Who stole the book and what are they up to?

Well, it’s worth noting that the Goode family has grown quite a bit in the 300-plus years since Solomon Goode accused Sarah Fier of witchery. Nick Goode appears to be the eldest son in the direct line. He’s the one taught the spells onscreen, and the boy who reads out Thomas Slater’s name—ironically in a bid to wrestle him away from Ziggy. However, just because Nick Goode is the one who damned Tommy and Ryan Torres in the last two Fear Street movies, it does not mean he was working alone.

Despite what Mayor Goode told the press about his brother, he almost certainly knew about his father and forefathers’ good work, as would the rest of the extended family. And here’s the thing…it will be so much harder next time for Deena (or, say, a new generation of millennial Shadysiders in the 2000s) to fight city hall. There’s also the likelihood that there’s more than one curse in that book of spells.

The Fear Street trilogy is over. The Fear Street shared universe may have only just begun.

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junjosekaimangalover · 5 years ago

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Jason Todd X Singer! Fiancee! Reader - Under The Red Hood Part 1

DC Comics Oneshots And Imagines ~Oneshots *Requests Open *

DC's Batman X Reader

Jason Todd X Singer! Fiancee! Reader - Under The Red Hood Part 1 - * Not A Request * * Slight Smut Warning *

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I don't own the DC Comic Book/TV Shows/Movie series Batman nor do I own any of the characters from the franchise. I just own my writing skills and my very active imagination. I really hope you all enjoy this oneshot I made.

This is a Jason Todd oneshot ( or Jason, 2nd Robin, Red Hood ) and this oneshot takes place during the film: Batman: Under The Red Hood. So if you don't know the story of Jason Todd after he became the 2nd Robin or you haven't seen the movie then SPOILER ALERT: BEWARE!!

If you don't want to be spoiled then don't read this oneshot until you've watched it.

Other than that lovely note, enjoy this oneshot~!

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Your POV:

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( Author's Note: The reader doesn't know that Jason Todd was Robin or Red Hood, nor does she know about Bruce Wayne being Batman. She'll find out though. )

It had been about year since my beloved Jason had passed away and it had taken me by surprise. I couldn't deal with it at first, I barely slept, I barely ate, I barely moved, I barely did anything at all and it badly affected my career and personal life so I had step down from my current job as singer.

Fortunately, I had my friends, family, fans and my deepest and closest friend; Bruce Wayne to help me in my time of need. After a few months had passed after Jason's death, I started to get better little by little and then my music career got back on schedule.

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" Okay, just like that (Y/N___ )! " My photographer, Harold, said to me with a pleasing smile on his face.

" You got it! " I replied back to him while smiling back as I striked another pose.

" Can we get some more smoke up in here, I need my prize singer to look like she's in a mystical place right now! " Harold yelled out in front of the entire crew to get at least one of them to get a smoke machine.

" Hahaha.... " I laughed out loud.

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* 30 minutes later *

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" Okay, that's a wrap people! We'll see all of you lovelies next week for the premiere of the promotion ad. " Harold yelled out while he whipped out his camera and began to scroll through the photos of me. I leaned over his shoulder and watched him scroll through them kinda fast.

" Uh, Harold? "

" Yes, my star model? " He replied without even turning his head towards me.

" I've um noticed that....you haven't deleted any of my photos. " I said.

" Yeah, and? " He replied while still not facing me.

" Well, I've observed you long enough to know that when you are done taking pictures of your models that you go through them and delete the photos you don't like or just doesn't work. However, you haven't deleted any of mine. " I pointed out to him.

" Yeah, because every photo of you is gorgeous so deletion is not necessary for you. " Harold said while approaching the last photo. I blushed a little bit.

" B-But what about this one, I look kind of silly in this don't I? " I pointed towards my face in the photo when I accidentally cracked a smile at the time.

" Oh please darling, silly is the new sexy to me. Besides, you need to be genuine in your photos otherwise the public won't like them. " Harold said reassuring me while turning the camera off.

" Silly is the new sexy? Why do I have a that will somehow catch on and become a thing? " I said while smiling slightly.

" That's because it will! I said it first and what I say and do instantly becomes popular! " Harold said while smiling brightly.

" Right. So Harold, should I have tried to be more sexy in some of those photos? " I asked.

" Tried!? Ha! Sweetheart, you're a natural at it and if you try to become even more sexy then our ovaries would have exploded and we would have passed out on the spot. " Harold places a hand on my shoulder, laughing.

" Awww that's sweet, I bet you say that about all of your models. " I said while looking down at my feet but then both my and Harold's head quickly turned to the left to see one of the staff members scoffing.

" Ha! No he doesn't. You are one of kind (Y/N___), In fact I can't even begin to tell you half of the stuff he says about the other models. " The staff member said while moving one of the lights across the room.

" What!? The clients I get stuck with are nothing but stuck up princess who think that they are all hot stuff because they have somewhat good looks and some little fame added to their resumes! " Harold yelled back and ran after the staff member.

I could only laugh at the sight of this wonderful moment and walk towards to my dressing room so I could change out of my modeling clothes and into my regular clothes.

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* 1 Hour Later *

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I walked through the streets of Gotham and towards my flat. I walked towards my flat door and scrambled through my purse for my keys. I finally found them and unlocked the door, I entered my flat while placing the keys in the key bowl next to the door.

As I close the door, I placed my handbag down onto the couch and my pet dog came running up to me while barking his head off.

( Author's Note: If you're allergic to dogs then switch to cats and if your allergic to both then pretend whatever animal you want as your pet. )

" Summer? What's the matter boy? " I asked him but he just kept barking like crazy.

( Another Author's Note: I chose Summer as the pet's name and if you don't like it then you can change it. )

Summer then ran off to my bedroom door and began to scratch and paw at it. I quickly got the knife that was in my handbag and cautiously began to approach the door. I was thinking that maybe someone had broken into my flat despite it being locked earlier.

As I approached the door, I took a hand on the doorknob and quickly opened it and swung the door open. When I looked into my bedroom, I saw nothing. I sighed in relief while thinking that maybe someone did come in but they left just before I got home. I walked over to my bed and sat down on the comfy mattress. I then flung the knife over to my dartboard on the wall.

" I see you still haven't lost your signature touch for the game. " I heard a deep voice and I quickly turned my head to see a masked figure in the corner of my room.

" Aah! Who are you!? What do you want!? And.... " I started and then he hushed me while walking over to me and kneeling down to my level.

" Hush now sweetheart, your love from the past has come back for you. " The man in the red hooded mask said gently and took my hand and brought it to his masked face.

" That's impossible, the only love I had in the past was Jason and he and my love are buried 6 feet underground! " I whipped my hand away and stood up angrily.

" Oh it's so sweet to hear that you haven't moved on from me (Y/N__). " The Red Masked man said.

" What did you just say? " I said in a tone mixed with anger and confusion.

" I said I think it's very sweet to see that you haven't moved on from me. " He replied.

" Moved on from you? What are you even talking about? Do I know you? " I asked now demanding answers.

" Oh well I don't suppose you would recognize me while I'm wearing this. " The masked man then pressed a button on the back of his red hood and I heard a hissing noise and then he dropped his mask onto the ground.

I saw the mask hit the ground and I looked up to see the strange man covered by another mask, it was covering his eyes.

" Well? How about now? " He asked me while getting closer to me, close enough to feel his breath on my face. When I heard his voice out of the mask, it sounded somewhat familiar and calming. I looked more closely at his facial features while trying to place where I might have seen him before.

" Do you mind if I? " I said while placing both of my hands on each side of his head and towards the mask.

" Go right ahead. " He said. I took off his black mask and I quickly dropped the mask and slightly gasped.

Jason, It was my Jason. My beloved fiancee whom I had lost for about a year and who I believed to be dead for the rest of my life.

" J-Jason? " I muttered out his name.

" That's right (Y/N___ ) I'm really happy you didn't move on from me. If you did then I would truly be lost right now. " Jason said while grabbing both of my hands and kneeling in front of me again.

I could only stare at Jason with wide eyes and my mouth hanging open a little while my mind races about 1000 miles per second. My mind filling with questions about Jason and questioning whether or not any of this was real.

About 25 minutes later had passed and Jason was sitting next to me and I was just keeping the silence from being broken. Jason was sitting next to me on the bed and turned his head slightly to me and he had a concerned look on his face.

" (Y/N__)? " Jason said my name to get my attention.

" I'm here! " I replied while looking at him with a blank expression on my face.

" How are you with processing the fact that I'm not dead? You've been quiet for the pass 30 minutes. " Jason then placed a hand on my shoulder as he asked me.

" Oh I'm fine, really. So.....how did you um.....get raised from the dead? " I asked while trying to calm my brain down so I wouldn't freak out.

" By being bathed in a rejuvenating pool of youth. " Jason answered me rather quickly.

" Uh-huh, when did that happen? " I nodded while asking him another question.

" About 3 months after my death. "

" I'm sorry what? "

" What? "

" You were alive 3 months after your death and you didn't bother coming to me or Bruce until now? " I started getting more confused and definitely mad.

" Well, I had to wait to come to you. Bruce on the other hand was a different story. " Jason replied.

" Wait a minute, wait one freaking minute. You went to Bruce first and then you waited all this time to come and see me? While I mourned your death for many months and I was all alone in my home waiting for death to come and get me so I could be with you again, you were alive the ENTIRE time and you didn't even bother coming here to let me know you were alive and okay!? " I yelled at him.

" (Y/N__ )! Please calm down! I couldn't let you see me in the current state I was in at the time! If I did then you would never want to be with me again! " Jason yelled back in defense.

" You're such an idiot Jason! We've been together for 6 years and I cannot believe you still don't know one single thing about me! I would've loved you and wanted to be with you no matter what you looked like. You're so stupid! " I yelled at him again as tears poured down my face.

" I'm....I'm sorry (Y/N___ )... " Jason hung his head in shame with a frown on his face.

" Yeah....well not as sorry as your about to be. " I whispered as I then attacked him with such force that it knocked him down onto the ground.

" What are you doing (Y/N___)!? " Jason asked me in major confusion as watched me pin his wrists with my hands.

" I'm getting my revenge you jerk. " I slapped him and sat on his waist so that he couldn't move.

" What kind of revenge are we talking about? " Jason asked nervously.

" That's for me to know and for you to eventually find out in time. " I said while gripping my hands tighter around his wrists.

" Agh! " Jason grimaced in pain.

" That's exactly how I felt with the months that passed by without you. " I said while my tears continued to fall down my face.

" I'm sorry (Y/N___ ), truly I am. However, It's nice to see you still have the fighting skills I taught you on hand but unfortunately right now is not the time to use them my love. " Jason said while frowning.

" I know but you deserve it. " I replied while trying to not look at him.

" I know and you deserve this. "

Jason then flipped his entire body over and on top of mine and I yelped as my body hit the ground. He then pinned my wrists with his hands and started to kiss my neck down to my collar bone. I moaned out accidentally while closing my eyes, not wanting to look at him.

" Honey, I'm sorry for not coming to you right away when you needed me the most but I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere ever again. I'm here to stay and for you only. " Jason said while placing his lips on top of mine and we kissed so sweetly that I wanted more of him so I dropped my act of revenge and resistance.

" Okay....I'm sorry for hitting you. " I said while kissing his sweet lips over and over again.

" It's alright, you're not the only one who's been hitting me. Bruce was pretty pissed too. " Jason said while unpinning my wrists from his strong hands.

" Has he? " I said in the midst of out kiss while wrapping my arms aroung Jason's neck.

" Oh yeah but I've handled worse to be honest. " Jason's hands then traveled down from breasts and down to my waist.

" Wow, I've missed you so much Jason. " I moaned out.

" You have no idea how much I've missed you as well, especially with all of those sexy ads of you plastered all over Gotham City. " Jason said and as I pulled away from our kiss to breathe, I blushed.

" You saw those? " I asked.

" Oh yeah, it was hard for me not to come here and make you mine while I was covered in scars. " Jason said rubbing himself against on me. I moaned louder this time.

" Well you should've. " I said while trying to compose myself.

" I know. " He says while rubbing harder.

" We got a lot of catching up to do. " I said while trying to keep my moans in.

" Oh yes we do. " Jason smirked at me.

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Well here is part 1 of my new DC Imagines And Oneshots Series. I hope you've enjoyed it so far.

P.S - Don’t copy/paste and then steal this. This is my work

#jason todd #dc #imagine #oneshots #batman #batman and robin #robin #jason todd x reader #robin x reader #fanfic #fanfiction

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thelovers-thedreamers-and-me · 6 years ago

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it’s that time of the week so you nerds get a fuck squad recap!

I feel like it’s notable that I have a chart up on my wall now where I can give my players gold stars if they do something really good and creative. So that’s fun and definitely not sparking competition at all!

We started with a discussion of “wailing widows” that I misheard as “whaling widows” and long story short I have a new comic book idea

Sergei, Maddela, and Saida see a crowd of people with weird, distorted faces staring at them. Maddela and Saida get Rhonia to cast Face of the Devourer on them so they fit in, while Sergei covers his eyes to not see them.

Yoni: “I would argue that only friends make each other piss themselves.”

Yoni slams the curtain that Rhonia ripped off the wall into the bag of trading.

“You pull out an old dirty sock.” Saida: Is that someone’s crankin’ it sock? Oh, wait, I can’t say that, you’ll lose followers on tumblr.”

Cue a discussion of that one time I got an anon saying they unfollowed me because of the ghost cum thing.

Saida: “Oh yeah, I remember that.” Sergei: “I don’t but there’s so much I don’t remember.” Saida: “Maybe you should lay off the party drugs.” Sergei: “MAYBE YOU SHOULD LAY OFF MY DICK”

Sergei blindly walks forward to a table in the middle of the room with a chalice on it, and triggers a trap that causes a hidden crossbow to fire at Maddela and an illusion to make it look like he did it.

Rhonia: “I put the crossbow bolt in his hand” “His hands are still over his eyes!”

They conclude that he clearly didn’t do it because dude didn’t even have a crossbow.

There was then some discussion of a poutine pinata which sounds like such a bad idea.

Sergei hits the chalice off the table with his orb and stick with his eyes closed, setting off a bolt of shadow that feels like flame.

Yoni scoops up the chalice with the bag of trading and gets a “not like top tier but about as good as you can get at the fantasy sobeys bottle of wine.” It turns out the door is unlocked and they can just walk through. The next floor is filled with a thick gray mist.

Sergei: “I have my stick out. My STICK.”

Sergei: “I didn’t go to fuckin’ wizard school! I went to clown college!”

Maddela strikes a match to see if the mist in the room they are in is flammable. It isn’t, but I feel like that’s a notably bad idea.

Sergei walks around the perimeter of the room with a rope tied around his waist and finds the door. However, when he tries to open it, a spear of ice springs up from the floor.

Meanwhile, the rest of the squad use the rope to navigate across the room to the door, and come across a weird stone box with a gold key in the bottom. When Rhonia reaches in to get it, a swarm of monkeys are summoned, one of which grabs the key before they scamper away into the mist.

Saida: “Does everyone have a lightning-proof hazmat suit? Because I have a plan!”

spoiler nobody had that

Saida also suggested Maddela melt the ice spear by dirty dancing on it. “Roll a fort save in case you froze your box!”

Maddela does melt the ice spear with some alchemist’s fire, but then immediately triggers another one by trying to unlock the door again.

Rhonia: “I’m just gonna fill the box with bananas!”

She does use her magic lunchbox to fill the pedestal with bananas, which lures all the monkeys in for snacks. After a few horribly bad perception checks, Yoni manages to see that one of the monkeys has the key so she hits it with her starknife and it dies.

Maddela: “How much of your hatred of wizards is part of your history?” Saida: “I had a really bad run in with one once.” Sergei: “Yeah, ran into his dick with your vagina!”

The next room has a table with a mask on it, two poufs on either side, and a door. Saida puts the mask on immediately and it affixes itself to her face and she can’t get it off. When she and anyone else sit on each of the poufs, the other people get a quick lil fortune reading.

Sergei gets told that he’s trusting someone he shouldn’t, so his player was kinda freaking the fuck out the rest of the session. Who is it? Who knows? I’ll never tell. TEE HEE HEE.

(about Rhonia) “You want to help, and you can be very inventive but sometimes you may not think your actions through.” Saida: “Didn’t need a mask to tell me that!”

(also about Rhonia) “Your god is pleased with you... and so is another.” Yoni: “Better not be Desna! Stay away from my god!” “Other people worship Desna.” Saida: “And Yoni’s going to cut them all!”

Saida: “You know how there’s visual learners and audio learners? Maddela’s a vaginal learner.”

The next room is set up like a museum, with a huge T-Rex skeleton in the centre and glass display cases lining the walls.

Sergei: “This is the necromancy room and there’s a giant skeleton in the middle. I’m so excited. Not.”

He crosses to the door and touches it, which wakes the T-rex that attacks the squad.

“Does a 22 hit?” Maddela: “No.” “Oh, cool.” Maddela: “I’M STILL LYING!”

Maddela uses her wand of binding to bind the T-Rex while she runs to go unlock the three locks on the door.

Yoni: “I do one, uh, blunt damage” which brought him to 69. Nice.

Yoni: “Does anyone have ropes to tie his feet together?” Saida: “This is like turning into a caper, i love it.”

The rest of the squad beat it up, but then it reforms into two smaller T-Rex skeletons.

Saida:"That giant dinosaur lizard will never know the satisfaction of eating poop again. Because it’s dead.”

Saida: “Don’t you have, like, healing blast?” “Oh, you mean healing gun.”

Saida: “I haven’t been listening to how Yoni’s class works.” “It’s cool, neither has she.”

“You’re being very strategic tonight. Are you feeling okay?”

Rhonia animated one of the smaller T-rexes and named it Jonesy, so that’s a thing now. They tied up the other one instead of killing it so it didn’t reanimate as more smaller boys. God they can be smart on occasion.

Saida: “Apparently my bloodline gives me a bonus to knowledge religion. But I don’t want it because that sounds dumb.”

They move on to the next room, where the first-level wizard apprentice who was manning the door watches them stomp on in with a new t-rex pal and decides to let them go to see the council once they’re done with the meeting that they’re having.

Presented with the opportunity to get what they want in about ten minutes if they just wait peacefully, the squad all gangs up to try and kick down the door and all roll terribly.

Coming out of the door is Tarand, who, from what they can hear, has had some sort of ideological disagreement with the rest of the wizards and is resigning from his position here.

Saida: “We’re never gonna get as high level as he is because all we do is SHOP and FUCK”

she’s not WRONG

Saida, trying to figure out if he’s been exposed to the mushroom spores: “are you feeling hepatitis-y?”

Sergei: “Have you had to roll any saving throws?” Tarand: “I’m a very powerful wizard. I know what that feels like. I have not.”

He is very confused when they ask about the mushrooms and refuses to tell them why he’s leaving, so Yoni Flapdragon, in a fit of anger, punches him in the dick. And almost crits. It isn’t confirmed so it only does 3 damage, but still. That’s a thing they’ll have to deal with later.

They go in to meet the wizard council, who did just watch Yoni punch Tarand right in the dingalings. Most of them also don’t know much about the mushrooms, except one halfling with a wrinkled face named Effin who tells them that she had been working on something similar, but it didn’t work out so she sent it to the toxic waste disposal. When the squad points out that pretty much anyone can get in there, there’s a bit of confusion- there are supposed to be a bunch of curses and things protecting it.

“Academia, you know how it is.” Rhonia: “Isn’t that a nut?”

Saida’s player, tearing up laughing: “I’m just thinking of how much funnier every fantasy genre would be if there was bullying!”

Saida and Yoni stay behind to chat with the council, while Maddela, Sergei, and Rhonia go up to the greenhouse to get some of the asinus densissima flower to put an end to all this.

Maddela: “I don’t know anything about wizards and I’m not about to learn!”

Saida, trying to chat up the head of enchantment by talking about the school of magic: “Of course I know what enchantment is, it’s when you kinda rub magic on some pants and it sticks.”

He’s not impressed by her magic knowledge.

Maddela proceeds to buy some poison from the greenhouse, which has mushrooms visibly covering some of the glass panes. While Effin makes a deal with her, Rhonia gets Jason the skeleton to climb up onto Jonesy the T-rex skeleton and throw a trowel, breaking the glass of the ceiling and letting the mushrooms in.

SO THAT’S COOL

#fuck squad recaps #there are SO MANY FUTURE PROBLEMS

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disregardcanon · 7 years ago

Text

so..... raven cycle characters in the good place au? featuring pynch and chengsey but not in large doses

contains major spoilers for the good place if anyone hasn’t seen that and would like to go in unspoiled. for real, you don’t want to be spoiled for this show by a textpost version of an au

for those of you that have seen it, this only follows up to the end of s1 but i might continue that later. if that were to happen the chengsey would probably become sarchengsey

THIS IS MORE THAN 5K WHAT THE FORK

a very brief, approximate rundown of character roles

ronan as eleanor shellstrop with some hints of jason mendoza

henry as jason mendoza... in the jianyu way but not the jason way, really

gansey as chidi anagonye

adam parrish as tahani al-jamil

blue sargent as michael

noah czerny as mindy st. claire

“you, ronan lynch, are dead,” blue sargent tells him, “welcome to the good place.”

blue sargent is apparently the architect of the neighborhood and not human (who would name a real human baby blue sargent?) and not actually a tiny human woman with kinky hair and light brown skin and a face that goes from perky, service worker smile to resting bitch face at the drop of a hat. she gives him the rundown of being in the good place. she informs him that he was an avid environmentalist who used his personal fortune to help fund national parks, efforts to save endangered animals, and animal shelters across the country.

this, however, was not ronan lynch’s life... and he definitely isn’t supposed to be here. after his worthwhile life of blowing through his trust fund, spiting his brother for thinking that he’s better than ronan is and trying to control him, doing drugs in the back of kavinsky’s mitsubishi. and then setting off illegal fireworks and setting shit on fire and having angry hate sex with kavinsky and street racing with kavinsky. he died after stealing his brother’s car and wrapping it around a tree, half on purpose. so yeah, there’s no way that he’s supposed to be here in the good place and he knows it.

blue sargent, however, does not need to know that. so ronan lynch does something that he’s never done before, he lies.

“yeah, that was me,” he says. because really? if he’d done good things in his life, saving animals probably would have been one of them. that’s a life he could have led, if he were less of a shitbag. he always liked animals.

sargent brings him to a frozen yogurt place to meet his soulmate, and pretty much everything about that statement seems ridiculous and out there, but he’s in the afterlife, and it sure as fuck ain’t the pearly gates or the fire and brimstone his catholic raised ass was expecting, so he supposes that this is just his new normal.

“some soulmate pairings are romantic,” sargent says, “and some are platonic. yours is platonic. fated to be best friends- closer than brothers”

“great,” ronan says, which is not great at all because he was hoping that maybe there would be some sap on earth who was fated to fall in love with him, and not just be a dude he hated but couldn’t stop having sex with. since they have the wrong history for him, he can’t even complain about declan or talk about how no one would EVER be a better brother than matthew, who was ripped from the world far too young.

he hopes that matthew and his parents are in another neighborhood somewhere, living it up as happy as they could ever be. if anyone deserves to be in the good place, it’s his family, or at least the dead parts of it.

“ronan lynch, this is your soulmate, richard gansey the third” blue says with a wide smile. seeing him makes it even worse, because he’s handsome, but he’s off limits because it’s “platonic” and ronan wants to put his hand through the fucking wall.

“just call me gansey,” he says with a big, wide smile, “that’s what all my students called me.”

“students?”

“i was a professor of moral philosophy,” gansey says, “but i also taught a few courses on welsh mythology and history.”

“what a nerd,” ronan says before he can shut his god damn mouth. gansey smiles

“that’s the other thing that my students called me,” he says. ronan’s not sold yet, but ronan might not totally hate this guy. that would be a first since his family died.

they tour the neighborhood, sargent telling them all about how new and improved this place is over earth even though it just looks like suburbia. at least, somehow, the afterlife is environmentally friendly? that’s what sargent says, at least. ronan doesn’t know how that would even work.

sargent introduces them to another pair of soulmates about halfway through. the first is adam parrish, who was apparently a high powered lawyer back in life who helped like, the environment or some shit (suspiciously close to ronan’s fake backstory, ronan will have to be careful treading around that topic with him), and his soulmate jiyanu, a taiwanese monk who took a vow of silence.

at least ronan got someone who talks. he’d feel bad for parrish, if the dude weren’t so fucking pretentious that it makes him want to puke. parrish is also really attractive and has hands out of ronan’s dreams but like.... that’s not relevant. the point is that he’s a pretentious dick not that he’s an ATTRACTIVE ONE okay? okay.

ronan is probably pricklier than someone who’s actually good place bound would be, but parrish responds with exactly the level of passive aggressive that ronan would expect from a jerk back on earth, so ronan’s probably alright. if this dude deserves to be here, then ronan can at least match his level of passive aggression without people suspecting that he’s not supposed to be here.

no matter how little ronan wants to admit it, though, he always sort of enjoys talking to parrish. it’s nice to have a break from gansey’s overwhelming cheer or sargent’s “benevolent alien anthropologist” act. jiyanu doesn’t talk, so it’s harder to get to know him. or even care about getting to know him. he looks perpetually uncomfortable, though, which is a weird thing to look in paradise. ronan hopes that he doesn’t look that uncomfortable.

but then again, ronan’s a big, muscly guy with a full back tattoo and leather jacket and a shaved head in a neighborhood that looks like suburbia ate candyland and then shat this monstrosity out, so he was probably going to stand out no matter what.

he stands out a whole lot more the next morning when the good place malfunctions in a multitude of ways that tell him that HE’S the cause. so, he decides that he should probably talk to his ethics professor soulmate to figure out htf he’ll get to stay here.

“so, you’re my soulmate. soul friend?”

“best bud,” gansey suggests.

“and you would never do anything to hurt me, right?”

“yes?” and then ronan confesses that he doesn’t belong here and gansey’s like yup i guess this is my life now and it increases his anxiety tenfold but he promises to help if ronan promises to take ethics classes so that he can learn to be the person that deserves to be in the good place and ronan’s like okay, sure, i guess. books are stupid and learning is stupid but being tortured? is probably more stupid so he’ll deal with books and schools to not do that

he finds out that jiyanu doesn’t belong here pretty soon afterwards, after having a fucking heart attack that the guy was going to rat him out. it turns out that jiyanu isn’t even named jianyu. his name is henry cheng and he’s a drug dealing, backpacking dj from vancouver. his mother’s a mob boss. he’s sometimes involved in her business, sometimes not. he’s always a wayfaring stranger, or a hopeless wanderer, or a druggie bum from vancouver, one of those words that means he’s a traveling dude with no life prospects.

“i’m not even taiwanese, dude. i’m forking korean,” henry groans, and ronan feels like he’s found a kindred spirit in all of this shit. this is way easier to deal with than an actual monk knowing his secret. now they just get to be assholes together.

they meet up in henry’s “bud hole” which he definitely doesn’t call a bud hole, because he has some class. he calls it mr roboto because it’s his secret secret he’s got a secret. he actually says this aloud, singing and all, and ronan starts singing the murder squash song and a beautiful friendship is born.

friends. weird. ronan never had a lot of those. or any, if he’s being honest.

“not being able to talk? that’s the worst thing for me,” henry says, “do you know how much i like to talk?”

“i can guess,” ronan says.

“like, words don’t always work right for me, but i still love to talk,” henry reiterates

“yes, cheng, i get it,” ronan says, because he really would like for the silent monk to go back to being silent, please.

“it’s like torture, lynch, absolute torture. like, if i actually were in the bad place, they couldn’t have come up with a better way to torture me than that.” ronan thinks that’s a bit of stretch, when in the bad place they could literally pour lava over you for all of eternity, but the thought sends a bit of a shiver up his spine.

the good place isn’t so good.

he pushes the thought to the back of his mind. it probably means nothing. he and henry might be here and miserable, but they’re not supposed to be here. gansey? parrish? they might be assholes sometimes, but they did do legit good things. gansey was a fucking ethics professor, and it sounds like parrish took a lot of cases for charity and did all kinds of philanthropy. even though ronan and henry aren’t supposed to be here, those two still are.

---------

back on the topic of henry, henry cheng was a backpacker who dealt drugs and was working through a trust fund of his own and working through more romantic and sexual partners than ronan can even imagine. apparently, his mother was a crime lord from vancouver. he was kidnapped for ransom as a child, and his mother barely cared to get him back. the last thing that happened to him was when one of his former, scorned lovers kidnapped him and demanded ransom from his mother, she refused and that’s how henry cheng died. the scorned lover killing him part is a point of pride. the fact that his mother let them? not so much

---------

gansey finds out about henry soon afterwards. he agrees not to rat out henry either in exchange for even more ethics classes.

“gansey, you are a prince among men,” henry says. and gansey does not blush, he DOESN’T but ronan glares at the ground. the universe gave him a soulmate who’s actually into dudes but not into him? what the fuck, universe. what the fuck.

they take ethics classes, and they get better. and better, and better while feeling worse, and worse, and worse. the neighborhood deteriorates. it seems like everyone’s mental state deteriorates too, even the two that are supposed to be here.

sargent tries to find gansey a new hobby after ripping into the book he spent his life writing. parrish snoops around sargent’s office, and finds out that he had the lowest good person score out of anyone in the neighborhood. he tries as hard as he can to up his score, until he realizes that because he’s dead, he can’t. it eats away a little at him to know that he’s even below ronan lynch, even if the guy isn’t quite as bad as he first thought. at least he can TALK to him, unlike his soulmate monk-ey mcsilence

everything seem to be getting worse.

and then, sargent tries to take credit for all of it. the breakdowns- the tremors- all the things that ronan being here has caused, and tells them all that she will basically be brutally murdered for her failures- ronan’s failures. he hates that gansey made him grow a little bit of a conscience. ronan comes clean. he’s pretty sure that gansey’s disappointed face as he stares at henry is the only thing that gets henry to come clean with him.

parrish doesn’t seem delighted that ronan isn’t supposed to be here, but he does seem pleased- almost smug about it.

“all you rich kids had everything handed to you, and i had to work so hard to get where i got. even here, in the good place. you glided in here on a technicality.”

“you want them to send me to the bad place?” ronan asks, “that’s still a possibility, you know.” if parrish wanted him damned, he probably could make it happen. with lawyer powers and social clout combined, he could probably get it done.

“well, no,” parrish says, “i don’t.” and of course, no actual good person would want another person to be tortured to spite them. to be honest, ronan doesn’t really wish that on any other person, not even declan or kavinsky.

“plus, that gives me at least two people i’m better than here,” parrish says. ronan raises his eyebrow.

“points wise,” parrish says, like that explains everything. they have an in depth conversation about when he snuck into sargent’s office and searched through the scores and his existential crisis about how low his numbers were, and ronan can’t help but laugh. perfect parrish was the worst one here?

“hey,” parrish says, “at least i deserved to be here.” it might have been the least out of any of them, but he still got in on his own merits. ronan got here due to a clerical error.

“you probably had like, ten thousand more points than me if that helps,” ronan says. parrish tries to shrug it off, but ronan can tell that it does. gansey’s across the room, looking like he’s coaching henry on how to get through this situation, and ronan wonders if there wasn’t a clerical error with the soulmates too.

if any of them are soulmates, romantically, it certainly isn’t the pairings they’ve been assigned. gansey and henry might be soulmates, really. and well, looking at the way parrish smiles and the way that his hand curl and the way that he’s feeling- god- fuck- ronan thinks that they might have a possibility too.

adam and henry have a Talk which consists of

“sorry for not speaking for six months”

“i don’t really think i like what you have to say, anyways.”

“that’s fair. we’re definitely not soulmates, are we?”

“i’m not sure we’re even friends”

“ouch, parrish, harsh” and then eventually, they kill each other a million times in video games and decide that it’s alright, i guess. kind of. they’re not going to be friends, but they’re not going to hate each other either. not even enough for hate sex, don’t worry, henry checked.

they bring the person that ronan was apparently switched with up from the bad place. he’s a real environmental lawyer who’s also named ronan lynch, a clean cut Black man with a warm smile and no tattoos who seems liked someone who would have walked across hot coals to help a stranger.

by pretending to belong here, ronan condemned him to months of torture. he probably deserved it when people start calling the other one “real ronan” and him “fake ronan”. that doesn’t mean he likes, it, though. they could call them suit ronan and leather jacket ronan or something.

apparently, henry cheng was somehow switched with an actual taiwanese monk named jiaynu because they died at the same time. who knew?

there’s a whole big plot to try to keep ronan and henry here in the good place, spearheaded by parrish’s lawyer brain and gansey’s ethical heart, and maybe a lawyer heart and an ethical brain too. he thinks that both of them possess both organs, at least.

the bad place sends a demon named trevor to pick up him and henry. trevor reminds ronan too much of kavinsky for comfort. much more than any person should, really. it’s uncanny, and it sets off that same unpleasant feeling in his stomach as henry’s comment about not being able to talk did. the same way that he feels whenever sargent pulls gansey off to do something that gives him anxiety attacks.

gansey tries to balance his best friend energies very carefully between the two ronans, as to not play favorites when either one of them could be his soulmate, really? how are we supposed to know hahaha oh isn’t this gREAT. gansey’s anxiety is a fragile thing, always like a bottle of soda that’s been shaken to the point where if you open it, it WILL burst. people were always too difficult, which was why he avoided them most of the time. they were hard to put up with, harder still to please. gansey preferred his own company.

--------

gansey loves learning. that’s kind of always been his thing. he loves school. he loves knowing things. he loves sinking into a good book and trying to piece together what information from it is relevant. people? not so much. people are tricky. people involve interactions constantly, love and affection. he knows that he could, but that involves taking time away from whatever the obsession of the day is, and gansey never met someone who was interesting enough to detract from his obsession of the day back on earth, even his family.

his sister tried to get him to come to his mother’s congressional campaign events, even one. so did his father and his mother.

“yes, i’ll be there,” gansey promised absentmindedly, not really planning to. he did not come. he was reading through phillipa foot’s “moral beliefs”.

“your studies will always come first, won’t they?” his mother

“shit, dick. this is just- this is too much. can’t you do this one thing? fuck you” helen

helen didn’t call again. neither did either of his parents. gansey tried not to think much about the sting. learning was his thing. he was doing it. that’s all that matters.

he tries to grab the first copies of his dissertations and his copy of death and that original welsh manuscript he picked up a while ago and oh god, he can’t forget his laptop that has so much work on it and-

the flimsy remains of the roof collapse on him, and richard gansey iii burns to death in that building, along with his research.

---

gansey’s not decisive, and he’s not a big fan of people, but he cares about ronan and he cares about henry, and he goes to sargent to demand that they remain in the good place. which, for a boy whose indecision killed him, is a pretty big step. sargent is quite impressed, and decides to accept the request and do everything that she can to make it happen.

parrish suggests that they accrue points so that they can stay, which is an admirable suggestion but doesn’t work because they’re already dead. it’s the reason that he couldn’t move any further up the list to begin with. sargent calls in an impartial “undead judge” to hear the case to see if ronan and henry will get to stay in the good place.

ronan decides to say fuck it instead and and he and henry steal the dude’s train and hightail it somewhere no one can touch him. apparently, there’s a medium place where everything kind of sucks but no one gets tortured.

it has exactly one inhabitant, a guy named noah czerny. he was a cokehead skaterbro when he was alive, and the night before he died he came up with an idea to end world hunger and save a ton of kids: the most comprehensive idea for a charity ever, really. his best friend hit him over the head with a skateboard and stole it, but he started up the program that noah thought up. no one could decide whether or not noah should get the points, so they made him a place in the middle.

a sucky, medium place. like cincinnati. or being dead but not dead in the first place. it’s just a sub par house in the desert with warm beer and mediocre movies, but it’s better than eternal damnation.

at least, it would be if they didn’t get a message about a decision to send gansey and parrish to the bad place in their stead if they don’t come back. what the fuck is that? who decided that was fair.

“i guess we need to go back,” henry says sadly.

“yeah,” ronan says. they do need to go back. ronan doesn’t want to, but he knows they need to.

“you don’t if you don’t want to,” noah says, “you’re free to stay here.” but ronan grew a conscience back in the good place, and that conscience’s name is gansey. and gansey doesn’t deserve to go to the bad place, and frankly, neither does parrish. ronan’s not about to say that one out loud, though. just because the dude’s hot doesn’t mean that ronan wants to confess any sort of affection for him.

he’s not an affectionate sort of guy. he loved his dad, and his mom, and his little brother, but all of them are dead. after that, he told exactly two people i love you: stone cold steve austin and a guy in a dark club that he mistook for stone cold steve austin. so yeah, any sort of affection is foreign to him. his only long lasting relationship consisted solely of hate sex.

they get back to the good place, and they go see sargent. it seems that the problem has become worse since they left. or, maybe better. apparently, they aren’t demanding gansey and parrish specifically anymore, or even ronan and cheng. the immortal judge, apparently, doesn’t give a fuck who they decide to give him, as long as they send two people to the bad place.

the other ronan (good ronan, real ronan) offers to go, but that still leaves two spots to fill, one of which he is DEFINITELY taking.

exactly none of this ends well, with a combination of self sacrificing and pure selfishness as they shout at each other, like something out of the lord of the flies or some shit. it finally clicks in ronan’s brain why he’s had that feeling of wrongness.

“gansey and i are going to the bad place,” ronan says firmly.

“i didn’t agree to that,” gansey says.

“what about real ronan?” blue asks.

“nope,” ronan says, “gansey and i have this covered. call the train.”

“actually,” the judge says, “ronan and henry were the ones that were originally bad place bound-”

“nope,” ronan says, “you said any two of us. gansey and i are going.” bambajan bursts into the room with an enormous book open in his arms.

“i found a way to keep all of you in the good place!” bambajan says.

“shut up, bambajan,” ronan says. sargent’s eyes widen for a moment. she knows that he’s caught on to her throne of lies.

“ronan, what’s happening?” gansey asks.

“i just figured out what’s been wrong about this place the whole time. they can’t call us a train to the bad place, because we’re already here. this is the bad place” sargent seems shocked for a moment, but only a moment, before she regains her composure.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she says smoothly.

“bullshirt, sargent,” he says, “i’m right.” gansey laughs, nervously.

“this is a joke, right? please tell me it’s a joke,” he looks down at his hands, “my stomach hurts-”

“of course it is,” sargent says firmly. shit, this can’t be good. if sargent denies it and no one else believes him, then it won’t make any difference that he knows. it will all just go by the same way until she finally gets him to shut up about it.

“no,” henry says, “lynch is right- he’s got to be.” sargent sits down, and puts her head in her hands.

“you’re going to tell them they’re crazy, right?” parrish demands. sargent looks up, and lets out a maniacal laugh.

“five years of planning,” she says between laughs, “five years down the drain because ronan lynch grew a brain.”

“actually, i’d say i grew a heart,” ronan says smoothly.

“that’s a reference to something,” blue says, far too calmly for someone who just admitted to torturing them, “that musical about the green woman who’s in love with the pink one?”

“close enough,” ronan says. gansey looks like he’s going to die of his stomach ache.

“what is going ON?!?!”

“i’ve been torturing you,” blue says, “this is the bad place, do keep up.”

“what do you mean?” parrish asks, “that can’t be. it can’t be.” sure he was ambitious, but he never did anything wrong. maybe he didn’t do as much right as he could have, but he never did anything actively wrong.

he wasn’t corrupt- he was smart. he never did anything that was wrong, really, and he tried to do some good too. he belongs in the good place- he has to.

he worked his way up from nothing, less than nothing really, starting with a loveless, abusive upbringing, then onto a good college and a law degree in record time. he lived the american dream.

when he finished school, he started defending the highest bidder at any cost, in any case. and he took a few charitable cases, stuff that would make him look better.

blue sargent keeps on laughing.

“you rich boys, boys who never did anything to help anyone- the definition of idle wealth. all humans are awful, but the four of you?” blue laughs again, that harsh, strident laugh that cuts through the air directly into his soul, “you’re something else.”

“i wasn’t born rich,” adam says adamantly. he might have gotten there, but he wasn’t born into it like the other three. he had to climb a mountain of lava to get where the rest of them started.

“you weren’t,” blue says, “but did you do anything to help people who were still poor?” adam gets really quiet.

“you know, how ‘bout i just show you how you died. that’ll clear this all up.”

“no-” adam says, because he doesn’t remember how he died, but he doesn’t care to. dying has to be traumatic, right? he’s got enough traumatic memories from his lifetime, thank you. he doesn’t need to add deathtime memories onto the scars that his parents left him. apparently, blue doesn’t care what he wants, though, and he’s pulled into the memory.

---

he’s at a resort, somewhere tropical. he can’t quite remember where he’d decided to go, but it was tropical and set on a cliff side, only about a twenty minute drive from the beach. he always preferred the view from higher up. he could see above the tree tops and the resorts and then the beach and the ocean. swimming in a pool’s simpler than swimming on the beach anyway.

no sand in his toes or his hair or his ears or anywhere else he won’t be able to wash out for months. he’d tried to like the beach, he really had, because it’s supposed to be a rich leisure activity, but he just couldn’t force himself to. he spent enough of his life getting grimy, thank you very much. now he’ll just appreciate the pool and the view. it’s one of the many things that his high profile job can buy.

the job was a way to acquire status, same as smoothing over the accent and befriending celebrities and charity banquets and speeches and whatever else he did for his image.

he’s walking to the pool along a mountain path, beside a small wall separating him from the cliff side and the ocean far below. he’s wearing nothing but a soft t-shirt, a pair of swim trunks, and sandals that cost more than his entire high school wardrobe cost. life is good, at least until he meets up with another guest on the path.

“adam parrish,” the guy says, like it’s a curse word. adam hasn’t heard his name said that way in a long time. he can’t say that he misses it.

“yeah?” adam demands. who the fuck is this guy? what’s his problem? he seems familiar, but adam can’t quite place him. he’s known a lot of people in his life, and a lot of them he’s tried to forget.

“born in 1985 in henrietta virginia,” the guy rattles off, “grew up in a trailer.”

“i did,” adam says in his clipped off fake east coast accent, “i’m not ashamed of it.” he is, actually, that’s why it’s not public knowledge. he’s not about to let this guy know that, though.

“you know what you should be ashamed of? getting a murderer off the hook.”

“alleged,” adam says. there wasn’t enough evidence to convict him in the minds of the jury, so there wasn’t enough evidence to convict him in adam’s mind either. he’s just doing his job.

“yeah, well that “alleged” murderer killed my mother,” the guy spits.

“i’m sorry about your mom,” adam says.

“you aren’t yet,” the kid says, “but you will be.” he takes off his backpack, and then takes out a fucking scrapbook. then he shows it up for adam to see everything he’s ever been embarrassed by staring him back in the face.

every single incriminating to embarrassing thing that has ever happened to him- every case he’s ever taken that might make him look bad, familial information he’s hidden- ex boyfriends he’s buried for the sake of staying ostensibly straight for his career- every single thing he’s never wanted to come out confined to a single blackmail scrapbook. the craftsmanship is actually impressive. the kid’s dug up secrets that adam has forgotten about himself.

“what do you want for it?” adam says, handing the book back to him. he’s a little freaked out that the kid dug up this sort of dirt on him, angry to have it shoved in his face, but he’s mainly impressed. it’s the sort of thing that he could and would do.

“nothing,” the kid says.

“what?”

“you can’t have it. i’m taking it to the press.”

“then why the fuck did you show it to me?” adam says. you don’t pull a play like this without demanding the ransom. you can’t just rip the rug out from under them-

“i wanted to see the look on your face,” the kid says. then, he turns around to stomp off. adam reaches forward to grab him by the shoulder and turns him back around.

“you can’t do that,” adam says.

“yeah,” the boy says, “i can.” he breaks free of adam’s hold, and then grabs his book as he starts to walk away. adam feels rage boiling inside of him. he can’t just- just do that.

adam doesn’t know if this would be a career ender, but it could hurt him badly. badly enough that he can’t deal with it, not now not ever. he runs towards the guy, in between him and the edge, and grabs the book. the kid keeps his grip tight.

“let go,” he growls.

“you let go,” adam demands.

“fuck off,” the guy shouts as he tries to rip it back away from adam. adam’s more determined, though, and he clutches it as tightly as he can, digging his fingernails into the flimsy material. he has a stronger grasp on it, and then he throws his weight to the side- the side with the short wall over the cliff. he flies into the wall, and then he flies over the edge. he plummets directly down to the rocks below.

--------

“holy shirt,” adam says.

“yeah,” blue says, “wonderful, wasn’t it? you all had such entertaining deaths. i’ll need to figure out how to incorporate them better for the next try.”

“next try?” henry asks.

“oh yes,” blue says, “i’m going to clear your memories and then try again. really, this was such a learning experience. next time i’ll work all the bugs out.”

“you can just do this over?” henry asks, sounding horrified.

“of course,” blue says, “you’ll have your memories erased and we’re going to start again. can’t just leave you like this. it’s no fun torturing you this way if you already know what’s going on.” this explains so much about all of their experiences here in the good place. everything makes sense now.

“well, i’m a demon,” blue says, “comes with the territory.”

“a demon,” gansey says, like he still can’t believe what he’s hearing. gansey obviously isn’t present enough to figure out a way out of this mess, and parrish is still reeling from reliving his death. henry’s slightly more put together, but ronan doesn’t think he’s got any ideas for how to stop this either. that means that ronan has to figure out something to save them from this cycle.

blue did say that this happened because he grew a brain. maybe he can write himself a note or get another tattoo or-

“i promise after i fix this, you’ll all have long, unhappy lives,” blue sargent says with her widest service worker smile. she snaps her fingers, and then the world goes white.

bum bum BUMMMMMMMMMMMMM

if anyone’s interested in a continuation of this, i might do season 2. but the most important part of season 2 is the millions of reboots with different soulmates so here are a few examples

“gansey, this is your soulmate, the physical manifestation of henrietta virginia”

“jianyu, this is your soulmate, madonna”

“adam, this is your soulmate, ronan lynch”

“ronan, this is your soulmate, stone cold steve austin”

“this is your soulmate, a raven”

“this is your soulmate, orla,” blue says, gesturing to the woman. female person. not someone that ronan’s sexually attracted to in the least.

“this is the bad place, isn’t it?”

“ah fork it all,” blue curses. then, she snaps her fingers and the world resets.

#trc #trc aus #chengsey #pynch #the gangsey #ronan lynch #adam parrish #henry cheng #noah czerny #blue sargent #tgp #trc tgp au #jill don't look

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