#however i did just get like eight hours of sleep for the first time in a week so i guess whatever this is can slap it once

[lonesomedotmp3]

fuck you medication side affects we HATE you medication side affects 🖕🖕🖕

[0cta9on]

Train Ride to Heaven

length: +3k words

Genre: Smut

NewJeans Hanni x Male Reader

(Author's Note: The winner of the first smut poll! I wrote this entire thing in 1.5 sittings, so it's very rough and unedited. Nevertheless, hope you horny sickos enjoy it <3)

【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★

A weary sigh leaves your lips as you rest the back of your head against the trembling glass of the subway. Eight years of college, even more years of brown-nosing just for a sliver of a chance at a promotion, hours of sleep lost from nights working overtime, and where did it land you? A thankless office job that considers you more of a number than a living, breathing human being. After all that, you get to go home to a loveless marriage with a woman you know for a fact is cheating on you with her personal trainer, but you’re too tired to do anything about it. Hooray for you.

You feel the subway slowly creep to a stop. A few more of those and you’ll finally be able to sleep and pretend like you're dead for a couple hours before doing it all over again. A lone girl, at least 18, walks into the car and takes a seat directly across from you - an odd move considering the entire car is completely empty aside from you. You try to ignore her, opting to get some shut-eye before you get to your stop, but you can’t deny the shift in the atmosphere from her presence. She’s a pretty young girl, all alone at this time of night. You could do anything to her and no one would even know. You shake your head at the thought. No good can come from a perverted old man like yourself.

“Psst…”

Although, there’s no fault in thinking like that if it stays in your mind. A cute girl like her could easily be taken advantage of. In fact, she’s lucky that you’re here instead of an actual sicko that would try to put their hands all over her.

“Psst… Ahjussi…”

This shitty marriage has got you all pent up. Not like you would have any energy left in you, especially after a day like this. Lucky you. Maybe if you pray hard enough, whatever god is up there will pity you and summon a woman that’ll throw themselves at you. If only life were that easy.

“Ahjussi!”

Your eyes shoot open from the sudden noise. The girl sitting across from you giggles to herself as she smiles at you. It isn’t immediately obvious due to her innocent features, but you can tell that she’s hiding something behind that smile. Something sinister, even. How exciting.

“What?” You ask. Her sly smile only grows as she subtly raises her skirt. Little by little, she reveals the supple flesh of her thighs, firm and plump. You know in the back of your mind that this is wrong, that she shouldn’t be exposing herself to an old man like this, but the second you see that little bit of white cotton in between her legs, all common sense flies out the window. Suddenly, she lowers her skirt, much to your disappointment. Your emotions must have been obvious as she cackles sweetly, pointing at your face. Embarrassed, you lean back and shut your eyes, hoping she’ll leave you alone for the duration of the ride.

“Ahjussi~” she teases in a sing-songy voice. “Open your eyes~” Like a fool, you follow her orders without a second thought. This time, however, the reward is greater than you could have ever imagined. Her white cotton panties are there in full view for no one else but yourself, drawing you in like a siren. The girl bites her lip as she traces circles around her crotch, more for you rather than herself. Your cock begins to strain in your pants, begging to be set free.

“Come here,” she says, beckoning you with a single finger. You quickly do as she says and sit next to her. Up close, you can see just how deceivingly innocent she is with her big, round eyes and her thick, pouty lips. Anyone would walk by her and assume she’s a classy and upstanding student, not a little slut teasing random old men in a subway (Not that you mind).

“My name is Hanni, what’s your name?” She asks, gripping the sleeve of your blazer while she plays with herself under her skirt.

“I-I, u-um, m-my name is-”

She brings a finger to your lips, silencing you. “Actually, I don’t really care, I’m just gonna call you daddy,” Hanni giggles. You force yourself to take a deep breath in an attempt to remain composed, but inside, you’re cheering like an addicted gambler finally hitting that sweet, sweet jackpot.

“So Daddy, what are you doing riding the train home this late at night?” The lilt she puts on that word is enough to drive you insane, but you try to hold back, not wanting to scare her off if you appear too eager.

“Uh, y’know, just getting home after a long day of work. Boring office job and all that. Nothing you would find any interest in,’ you sigh. Hanni pouts, looking at you with a sympathetic expression.

“Awww poor daddy, you must be so stressed.” She holds onto your arm, pushing her perky breasts into you. Your wife has never given you so much as a glance in your direction whenever you showed up exhausted from work. She’s probably too busy texting her personal trainer. Hell, she’s probably fucking him right at this very moment. It’s only fair if you get to have some fun for yourself, right?

“Yeah, I suppose I am pretty stressed. On top of that, my wife has been cheating on me with this personal trainer guy she met a couple months ago.” As soon as you mention your wife’s adultery, a hint of a smirk appears on Hanni’s lips.

“Oh no~,” she says, feigning pity. “Maybe I can help you… feel better?” She puts your hand on your chest and inches it downwards, all while maintaining eye contact with you. Her face is close enough for you to feel her breath on your chin, but just far enough for her to escape if you try to kiss her. All you can do is wait as you feel her hand getting closer and closer closer to your raging erection. Everything fades away but the pumping of your heart and the gentle brown of her eyes. Finally, a guttural groan escapes your mouth as she grasps onto your cock, stroking it through your pants.

Hanni giggles at your expression. “Does that feel good, Daddy? Do you like it when I play with Daddy’s cock?” All you can do is nod as she continues to toy with you, rubbing and squeezing along your shaft. It’s been so long since another person has touched your penis that you almost finish right then and there, but you continue to hold it in with steely determination.

“Daddy’s cock is so big and thick, I don’t know if it’ll fit in my tiny, little mouth.” Hanni leans into your ear, tickling your skin with her breath as she whispers, “Maybe we should find out.”

“Y-yes, god yes,” you practically beg.

“Then tell me what to do,” she says. “I’m your little whore for the night. Treat me like one.” Those filthy words coming out of her pretty mouth is a memory that you will never forget until the day you die.

“Fucking suck my cock, you slut,” you command her, a little too enthusiastically. Even in the prime of your relationship, your wife would never let you talk to her like this. To have your commands followed by this cute girl is heart-poundingly exhilarating. You feel like a whole new man.

Hanni fiddles with your belt buckle at a snail’s pace. You try to do it yourself to get the ball rolling, but she swats your hand away.

“Let me do it by myself, Daddy~” she pouts. With a nod, you lean back and let her have her way, succumbing to the desires of her cuteness. If she wanted to, she could easily take over the world with her looks alone.

After unbuckling your belt and unzipping your pants, all that’s left is the fabric of your underwear separating your dick from her glossy lips. Hanni places a few gentle kisses on your bulge, drawing a moan from your belly. Giggling, her fingers hook around the waistband and pull it down at a tantalizingly slow pace, leaving you to wait as your heart threatens to burst from your chest. Finally, your member swings up, almost hitting Hanni in the face. Her jaw drops as she gazes at your length, a look of surprise and a little bit of fear in her eyes.

“Oh shit…” she whispers to herself before shaking her head and putting back the sultry appearance she had before. “I can’t wait to choke on your big, fat cock, Daddy,” she smirks as she begins to stroke your shaft. Hanni’s hands are much softer than your wife’s, and even more skilled as she cups your balls, applying just enough pressure so that it doesn’t hurt. You watch with bated breath as she leans forward, eyeing the tip of your cock for a moment before it disappears into her open mouth. The sound of your moan echoes throughout the subway car as Hanni sucks on your tip, slowly taking in more of your length with each bob of her head. Even your wife’s cocksucking skills pale in comparison to hers, you almost feel bad for the guy that she’s fucking.

“Yes, good girl, Hanni. Suck that dick, you fucking slut,” you encourage. You notice her ass sticking up in the air, and thanks to the rumbling of the train and her bobbing motions, her skirt rides up just enough for you to peek at the white panties covering her ass, giving you the bright idea to reel back and give her a good, hard spank. She moans into your cock, heightening the sensation. 

“I bet you like that, you little whore.” You yank her up by the hair, forcing her to look at you, saliva covering her mouth and chin. All the inhibitions and common sense you had before are completely gone, leaving nothing behind but animalistic desire.  “Say it. Say that your daddy’s little fucktoy.”

“I’m daddy’s little fucktoy,” she repeats, giggling at you. Satisfied, you release her hair and sit back, watching as she alternates between deepthroating your shaft and sucking on your balls while she strokes your entire length with her spit. You would happily quit your job and live at the subway instead if it meant you get to have this petite sex doll all to yourself every night.

Suddenly, the train comes to a stop at one of the stations and a man stumbles inside. The two of you scramble to cover up, hiding any semblance that the two of you were doing anything indecent. Much to your dismay, the man sits nearby, making it difficult for even small gestures to go unnoticed. He’s clearly not a student nor is he an office worker, so why the hell would he be riding the subway this late at night!?

“Wait,” Hanni whispers, pointing at the man. “Look.”

Confused, you watch as his body begins to sway with the movements of the train. Upon closer inspection, you notice that his eyes are struggling to stay open and his clothes are disheveled. Clearly, he’s either drunk, faded, or both. Finally, BAM - he knocks out on the seat, completely unconscious.

Hanni stifles as she gives you a knowing look. “He’ll be out for a little while so…” She bends over the seat, shaking her butt at you. “Fuck my little pussy with that cock, Daddy~,” she teases, winking back at you.

Pounding with excitement, you release your cock and stroke it back to life, while your other hand pulls down her white cotton panties, finally revealing her pinky honeypot to you. With Hanni’s saliva as lube, you line up your tip with her cunt, teasing her moist folds.

“Are you ready, baby?” you ask

“I’m so fucking rea- MMPH!” She struggles to stifle a moan as you completely bottom out inside of her, all in one thrust. So slick and so tight, you don't even care about comparing her to your wife anymore. All you want to do is ruin her little pussy and use it as your personal cocksleeve. You sink your fingers into her hips, pulling her into you with each thrust and watching her cute ass jiggle against you.

Fuck that stupid company. Fuck your stupid bitch of a wife. Your entire life you were told what to do, how to act, and what you should look like in order to succeed in life. You followed everyone’s orders to a T, even going above and beyond to obtain that success that was oh so coveted. But look where you are now - eight inches deep into some girl you just met tonight. Fuck the “high-paying job” and fuck the “hot wife”. If this isn’t success, then you don’t know what is.

“O-oh my g-god… Y-you’re so f-fucking h-huge…” Hanni squeaks in between thrusts, desperately trying to control her volume. You’re unsure how much longer you can manage, but it doesn’t matter. Whether she likes it or not, this slut is gonna leave with a gallon of your cum deep inside of her.

Hanni’s body begins to shake violently. “I-I… I’m cumming!” She shrieks wildly. You pull out of her, watching in astonishment as she squirts all over the seats. And your wife said you could never dream of satisfying a woman - if only she could see this now. 

“H-holy shit…” she says, leaning her head on your shoulder as she gasps for air. “That was… fucking insane.” Both of you laugh as you wait for her to get down from her high. Miraculously, the man didn’t notice her ear-splitting orgasm, still completely out cold.

Suddenly, Hanni straddles your lap, wrapping her arms around your head. “I noticed that you didn’t cum yet, Daddy.” She gyrates your hips, rubbing her wet slit against your tip. You figure she would still be sensitive after the first round, but it’s clear she was built purely to fuck. “Maybe we should change that,” she says, biting her lips.

“Maybe we should,” you smirk. Hanni kisses you as she drops her hips onto your cock, causing her to moan into your mouth. Not wanting to give up dominance completely, you shove your tongue down her throat, filling two of her holes at once. The wet slapping of her bouncing on your cock echoes throughout the car, and at this point, you don’t care if that man wakes up or not. He could be completely conscious and recording you right now, but you still wouldn’t stop plowing this little minx. In fact, you secretly hope that he is recording right now - the whole world should know that this fucktoy named Hanni is yours and yours alone.

You rip open her top, exposing her perky tits. They are on the smaller side, but they’re big enough to jiggle with each bounce and that’s good enough for you. Hanni grabs your head as you latch onto her tits, licking and sucking every inch of her chest. The pressure begins to build in your loins and you know the end is coming soon. Wanting to milk every drop of this experience, you stand up, supporting Hanni by the ass, and begin ramming into her with every ounce of energy you have left. Rather than a 40-something-year-old man, you feel like you’re reborn again into your 20-year-old body. You feel the familiar tightening of Hanni’spussy around your member, and with one final thrust, your body is elevated to Heaven. Shooting rope after rope into her deep cunt, the high is nothing like you’ve ever experienced in your lifetime. Not even your wife- Ah, who cares about her. She’s nothing but dirt under your foot, while Hanni is an angel sent from above.

You gently place her down on the seat before collapsing next to her, shutting your eyes so you can replay this entire experience in your head. Never in your life did you think you would ever get this lucky. The train comes to a halt, and a hand pats your shoulder.

“Sorry Daddy, but this is my stop,” she giggles as she skips towards the open doors. Despite the rough pounding you just gave her, she somehow managed to look presentable in the short time that your eyes were closed. “I’ll see you around, Daddy~”

The last thing you see is her wink before hopping off the train and disappearing into the night. You’re disappointed that you didn’t ask for her contact information before she left, but you’re confident that you’ll cross paths with her again in the future. Surely, whatever god that heard your prayers isn’t that cruel, right?

As you approach your stop, you quickly get yourself sorted, not wanting to attract any unwanted attention from passersby. If your wife asks about any mysterious “stains” on you, you could easily attribute it to being clumsy while drinking. Not that she would care enough to ask anyway. 

Upon exiting the car, a police officer stops you as you approach the stairs.

“Excuse me, sir,” he says. You try to ignore him, hoping that there’s someone behind you that he’s referring to, but unfortunately, nobody else is around. “Sir, I need to talk to you for just a moment.”

“What’s the problem, officer?” You ask, hiding your panic behind a nervous smile. A whirlwind of questions swarm your mind. Is this about Hanni? Did you get caught? Was it that drunk guy that sold you out? Beads of sweat begin to form on your head as the police officer questions you.

“There has been an increase in robberies in the subway recently and I just want to ask if you saw any suspicious individuals lurking around the subway.”

You breathe a sigh of relief, grateful that the heat isn’t on you. “Well, no officer, I haven’t seen any suspicious individuals around,” you reply.

“Are you sure?” He asks. “All the victims have described the suspect as being a short Asian girl, about 18 years of age, with big brown eyes and black hair. Does that ring any bells for you?

An alarm blares throughout your head. Surely he’s lying, right? Maybe he’s talking about a different Asian girl. There are probably thousands, no, MILLIONS of people that fit that criteria. Besides, you and Hanni shared a special connection tonight. She’s the answer to everything that ever went wrong in your life, an angel sent from Heaven to cure you of your miseries. Hanni wouldn’t lie to you, right?

You dig through your pockets, frantically scrambling for your wallet and your phone. You feel something in your pocket and pull it out, only to be filled with dread at the sight of it - white cotton panties.

[skyahri]

Unplanned |Naruto Men X Reader| HC

Characters: Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, Shikamaru Nara, and Kakashi Hatake

Summary: Pregnancy scenarios 'cause I can.

Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy. Bad words. All fluff.

Masterlist Ko-fi

- - - - -

Sasuke Uchiha

He isn't the kind of guy to outwardly dote on you.

He's never been good with words or physical touch, more so preferring quality time together. You sleep in the same bed, eat meals together when it's convenient, and lounge around together when time allows.

When you come home from a last minute doctor's appointment with some big news, none of that really changes.

He assures you that he's happy, that he loves you, and this is all wonderful, but that's about all you're going to get out the emotionally constipated man.

However, while words may not be his strong suit, actions certainly are.

It's become painfully obvious that you are never allowed to go anywhere alone ever again.

He's like a shadow, following you everywhere and anywhere you decide to go. It doesn't matter that you're just running to the market- he's coming with. Ino invited the girls over for a dinner party? Cool, he'll walk you there, hang around in the shadows outside, then walk you home.

When questioned, Sasuke only says that he doesn't trust other people. Already knowing how he is, you don't push him any further. (Not that he'd entertain you if you did.)

People notice pretty quickly. He's not subtle and it's not exactly common for the Uchiha to be so openly clingy.

You wanted to keep the pregnancy a secret for a little while longer. You knew that his status would make the whole thing bigger than you'd like and it was still so early, only about eight weeks in. But people were becoming more and more insistent with their questions.

"Seriously, did something happen? He's been watching you like a Hawk for the past month."

"It was cute at first, but now it's straight up creepy."

Sakura and Ino dramatically shiver at the notion. You laugh, imagining how unsettling this all must look from the outside.

"It's fine, I promise. He's just been a little overprotective since he found out I was pregnant."

They don't register it at first. They just nod in understanding and move to sip their tea. You can almost see it click in their heads before they slam down their cups and start freaking out.

"Wait, WHAT?"

Naruto Uzumaki

"Congratulations! Based on the ultrasound, I'd say you're about five weeks along. It's still early, but you can see a tiny sac right here-"

Your mind is going a thousand miles a minute, thinking of everything and nothing as the doctor points out the tiny, centimeter-long blob in the picture.

Naruto had been bugging you for the past three weeks about a smell. He swears it's nothing bad, just that Kurama is insisting that your scent has changed and- blah, blah, blah. You never could get any more information out of him, which just left you to eventually cave and visit the doctor. Animals have instincts for a reason and who were you to ignore them?

Turns out, that damn fox was right.

After a half-hour lecture on what you can and can't do anymore, you were handed a goodie bag of essentials and sent on your way.

You barely remember the walk home. Your mind was completely blank as it tried to process the news. It wasn't until Naruto was standing in front of you in the doorway to your home that you finally snapped out of the trance.

You stared up at him. His eyebrows were knit together and he was asking if everything was alright. He pulled everything out of your hands and not-so-gently set them on the floor.

"I'm pregnant."

His eyes blew wide and not even a second later he was smiling, pulling you into him and spinning you around. It's over just as quickly as it started. He's setting you back down on your feet and looking you over, mumbling a few hollow apologies for manhandling you. He takes a deep breath, that lopsided grin on his face never leaving.

"You're pregnant."

Just those two words have all the fog clearing from your head. Reality is forced onto you in an instant. In any other situation, it might have made you dizzy, but right now you couldn't be happier.

"I'm pregnant."

Shikamaru Nara

He really should've seen this coming.

Honestly, with how careless he is with protection, it's a wonder how you hadn't gotten pregnant sooner. A year and some change of not bothering with condoms and lazy, half-assed pullouts had finally come to bite him in the ass.

Although he knows this is all going to be horrifically bothersome, he can't find it in himself to be all that bothered. No, not when you're standing in front of him so nervously, little tears gathering on your waterline as you hold out a slip of paper for him to take.

He pulls you into a hug- a very tight, very intimate hug. One of his hands is on your lower back, pressing you into him, and the other is in your hair to cup the back of your head. He can feel the stress start to melt from your body as you relax into him, your arms moving to loosely hold him back.

"I'm sorry. I know this wasn't exactly planned..."

It definitely wasn't planned. He didn't like to think about things too hard. The only talk about the future he'd engaged in was a brief confirmation that you were both interested in pursuing each other exclusively and that neither were against marriage and kids.

But even though this was sudden and unprompted and definitely not what he was expecting when you asked to talk with him privately, he just couldn't find it in himself to be anything other than pleased. Sure, he would've liked to wait a few years and it preferably be after he'd properly proposed and married you, but none of that is deterring him.

He loved you. He didn't say it as often as he probably should, but that didn't make it any less true. You were easygoing and passive and fit into his life with no resistance. His friends liked you, possibly more than they did him. You liked to cook and he never had to worry about you causing trouble.

This was fine.

Not troublesome in the least.

"No, this is... good."

Kakashi Hatake

He was positive he was sterile. He'd have to be after all the injuries and trauma he's sustained, right? Four years and not a single scare, yet here you were, apparently three months pregnant, handing him a report from the OB's office.

He couldn't even form a sentence. He just sighed and sat back onto the couch with his eyes closed. It's only eight in the morning, it's too early for this, not that there'd ever be a great time.

"I knew you weren't going to be thrilled, but now I'm starting to get nervous. Can you please say something?"

He held his arm up and gestured for you to come towards him. When he could feel you brush against him, he grabbed your wrist and carefully yanked you onto his lap. You let out a relieved, albeit hesitant, chuckle as he slowly wrapped himself around you, his head finding solace in the crook of your neck.

The two of you stayed like that for a little while until he let out the loudest, most dramatic groan you'd ever heard leave his mouth, followed by a mumbled 'are you sure?', to which you rolled your eyes.

"Yes, I'm sure. Here, you can see for yourself."

You unfold the paper and pulled out a few pictures. He shifts you around so you're at a better angle before he takes them into his hands. It's obvious that he has no idea what he's looking at- just that the blob is already baby-shaped and very, very intimidating.

You point out some of the obvious things, the head and feet and such, before moving down to the very last photo at the bottom.

"And that little spot right there means that we're having a boy."

"I thought they couldn't tell the gender until later."

"It is later, Kashi. Fourteen weeks."

He lets you take the pictures from him so he can set his hand on your stomach. You'd mentioned gaining a little weight recently, which he honestly hadn't noticed, but now he's wondering how he could've missed it as he brushes his fingers over the slightest most obvious bump in your usually flat stomach.

He must've been zoned out for too long, because you're calling his name and setting your hand over his. He hums, a slight acknowledgment that he's heard you, but you know he's not actually listening.

He's too busy thinking about diapers and bottles and late nights and early mornings. How his son is going to be in the same class as his student's kids. How Gai is going to be a hundred times more annoying in the coming years.

But then a single thought completely derails his spiraling. He wonders what your baby will look like. If he'll be a morning person like you or like to take naps like him. If they'll accel in genjutsu or not, because while he certainly does, you most certainly don't.

He's spent time with Kurenai and Mirai. While raising a person definitely seemed difficult, he couldn't deny that Kurenai was happy. Actually, despite Asuma's untimely death, she's the happiest he'd ever seen her.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just... thinking about how annoying it'll be to tell everyone we're expecting."

"Seemed more like panicking to me."

"... shut up."

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

Moments in Time - Jack Hughes Edition

Word Count - 3k almost

Summary: The eight times Jack Hughes showed his love through the ring camera that he didn’t even want in the first place.

Warnings - none pure fluff I know a true shocker if you aren't new here

Author's Note: Hello everyone as always thank you for reading. This is apart of a "Moments in Time" series that I wrote eight moments each of the Hughes brothers. The fics are individual stand alone pieces, they can be read in any order, or you could only read the one brother you want.

Quinn Hughes Edition. Luke Hughes Edition.

I have to give credit to my girl Kay @icebound-imagination for not only helping come up with the original idea! But literally stayed up late one night to help me detail plan all three Hughes brothers fics because I didn't want any repeated ideas.

Main Masterlist

The last thing that Jack wanted was a ring camera. He said he didn’t want the footage to somehow get leaked and his fans figure out where his apartment was. He also didn’t like the idea of every single time someone passed your apartment getting a notification on his phone. But you told him that since he’s gone so much, you would like to have a ring camera because it made you feel safer when he wasn’t home. As soon as the words left your mouth, Jack was on his phone ordering the best one that they made not without mumbling “you really know what to say to get what you want. Just so you know I still don’t like the idea.” But as time went on, although he would refuse to admit you think he kind of loved having the idea of a ring camera so that he could mess with you. 

Smacking the camera to say he’s home.

Once the camera was installed and everything was set up. Jack found funny little ways to tell you hi even if you were apart. It started as an occasional thing when he was coming home from morning skate and you were already at work. Or coming home from the gym and he knew you were out with friends. He loves to ring the doorbell and smack it. He always says the most random shit to go along with it. The first time he did it he was coming home from the dry cleaners and you were out to lunch with some coworkers. He smacked the camera and literally said “hi babe just wanted to say hi and did you know the dry cleaner broke up with his girlfriend..”  

But shortly it became a daily thing. Anytime he came home even if you were already home he would smack the camera and make a silly face and say the first thing that came to mind literally. Anything from something random that happened at practice, asking what you want for dinner, or simply “I love you babygirl, drive home safe.” as he smacks the camera before entering the apartment. Jack always said it was to annoy you and maybe it was. But he also secretly loved that no matter where you were at the time you would get a little notification. He also loves that no matter where you are at work, in a meeting, with friends, or at the grocery store you would always watch the video in the moment and send him a text as a response. It kind of became his daily way to say ‘I’m thinking of you and I love you’ even if he didn’t always say it in the moment. 

2.  A boy’s night out equals drunken moments caught on camera

You knew that Jack was going to go out for a team bonding/guy’s night thing tonight. You also knew that Jack rarely came home sober from those things when he wasn’t DD. Jack never came home at a decent hour when he went out with the boys and you found yourself choosing your own sleep rather than staying up. Tonight was no different, you did however wake up when he fell into bed practically falling on top of you in the process. “Hi baby.” he mumbled as he laid on top of you and the covers. 

“Hi Jackey, did you have fun.” softly turning he wasn’t putting as much weight on you,playing with his hair. “Baby why don’t you take your jeans off and get under the covers.” you softly suggest all you got in response was a moan of protest as Jack fully rolled off of you in his lazy drunken state take off his jeans before crawling under the covers and bear hugging you immediately falling asleep. “Night Jackey” you whispered quickly, allowing sleep to lure you back. 

The next morning, when you were making breakfast you finally had a chance to see your notifications from when you were asleep. Living in an apartment it wasn’t abnormal to see a few ring notifications about something moving by your door overnight especially on a Friday night. But what was odd, was that your doorbell rang at 3:15 AM. Deciding to watch the video that ring filmed immediately you found yourself laughing. It was a video of a very very intoxicated Jack. He couldn’t even stand up straight, of course the video started with a hello smack. But once he started attempting to talk you couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“Heyy babycakes!” immediately he started laughing at the random nickname he just gave you. “It’s babycakes now cause your ass is so big and cakey.” The laugh that left him, you knew affected his whole body cause he almost fell over. Even though the nickname didn’t really make much sense.

“Before you ask, I took an uber I didn’t wanna wait for Nico I needed to see ma gurrll” making one of his classy sass faces he continued “because I’m responsible like that duhhh.” He started digging through his pockets mumbling to himself all you could catch between the bad audio quality and the slurring was “keys… loooosst.. Fuck.. oopsie.” His keys now in front of his face, dangling them “found em.” Giving a big kiss to the camera and then stumbling inside before the video cut out. 

You couldn’t help the tears coming out of your eyes from laughing so hard at drunk Jack, so happy that Jack gave in to letting you both have a ring camera so you can show his brothers this next time you saw them. 

3. Improutu karokate moments  

After coming back from a run, Jack still has his blasting in his ears. His face looks exhausted after running outside in one of those rare fall heatwaves.His hair sticking to his forehead and also in a million different directions. His cheeks were a little red from sweat or the sun you weren’t sure but he looked adorable. Jack knew that you weren’t home but what he didn’t know was that you immediately opened the ring notification because you were expecting an amazon package. Thinking that there was no way you would ever see this he let himself get lost in the music in his ears and have a little karokate moment at the front door. Jack randomly breaking out into song isn’t the reason that you found yourself crying in laughter in the middle of the store. But rather it was a song he was singing that made you lose it. Once you heard the popular lyric “I’m talkin’ all around clock, I’m talkin’ hope nobody knocks, I’m talkin 'wild wild thoughts..” The fact that Jack Hughes was singing Sabrina Carpenter and having his hot girl moment in the hallway in front of your apartment you couldn’t help yourself from messing with him. 

“I thought you hated this song?” the sound of your voice scaring Jack.

“Baby Jesus you can’t be doing that! And I don’t like it.” He tries to lie but it doesn’t work and he knows it doesn’t.

“Uh huh baby you don’t have to hide your new guilty pleasure song” you tease.

“Whatever I’m going inside.” As he finally opens the apartment door and lightly slams it shows how “upset” he was at you for teasing him. 

4. Counting down the days  

It was one of those rare times when you were the one out of town and not Jack. Let’s just say Jack was not used to being home and you not being with him. In total you were only gone for 7 days having a vacation planned with your friends. Jack didn’t wanna bother you constantly with calling and texting so he came up with the next best thing “ring camera check-in time.” He actually started it as a joke when he came home from the airport after dropping you off. Accidentally ringing the doorbell on his way into the apartment saying something like “have a safe flight baby, T minus 7 days till I see you again.” and then proceeding to make the most cringey kissy sounds into the camera. He didn’t even know you would see it but since you once you settled on your seat on the plane a few hours later you did and immediately texted him about how you thought his video was adorable. So of course Jack made it a point, everytime he left his house for a morning skate, going to the store, a game or came home to give you a one sentence update on his day and how many more days to had left until you were home. Even though you didn’t always watch them in the moment when you did they immediately put a smile on your face and you were so grateful to have these little mini personal vlogs forever of Jack. 

5. Look no emotional support shoes 

Jack is known for being quick witted, both of you found yourselves constantly teasing each other about random things. One of your favorite things to tease him about was how the fans were even tired of his “emotional support Air Forces” and “emotional support Fiji water bottle.” The water bottle was an easy fix. You brought him a hydroflask off Amazon and told him “it’s time for you to be an adult Jack and use a reusable water bottle like the rest of us for emotional support.” Even Jack was surprised at how Twitter reacted to him bringing his little reusable water bottle everywhere with him. They all picked on him, still saying it was obviously his girlfriends doing and hoped you could get him to wear other shoes every once in a while. Jokingly you said on your Instagram story, that sadly the shoes will probably have to stay because he’s so physically attached to them. 

Jack was leaving the next day for a home game. Since you were still at work he had to use the ring camera to show you his suit before he left. At the moment you were able to pull your phone out at work and started watching him show you his suit. It was a basic navy suit with a white button up and black tie. But then Jack’s smile grew as he kicked one foot back to show you his shoes. He was wearing a new pair of Jordan ones with blue accents. You were in shock at your desk as you watched him reveal his shoes, truly you couldn’t stop yourself from pressing the speaker button.

“I never thought I’d see the day Jackey.”

“BABY?!” the surprise evident in his voice not expecting you to watch him in real time. 

“I’m proud of you for branching out and I know Twitter will be too.” you add the last part jokingly. 

“I gotta go. Love you, see you later.”

“Me too. Love you Jackey, see you tonight!”

6. Date Night

Jack and you both tried to have at least one date a week where you both went out for a night together. Sometimes it would be to go to the movies, a Broadway show, or even just a simple dinner. Tonight was no different, both deciding that it was time to try the new fancy restaurant down the street that just opened last month. Both of you enjoying all the fancy food, Jack enjoying their high end whiskey and you with their fancy mix drinks. 

It was just overall an amazing night, filled with jokes and laughter, flirting truly a perfect date night. The end of the night was no different, as you walked down the hallway together holding hands. As you went to dig through your purse to look for your keys to open the door, Jack couldn’t help but come up behind you and start kissing you where your neck and shoulder met. 

“You just looked so pretty tonight love” as he placed wet kisses on your neck. As you both drunkenly stumble into the apartment. Both of you have never been more grateful to have a ring camera the next morning when you realized it caught the entire moment. 

7. Online Shopping Gone Wrong

The other night you got a little tipsy and might have brought way too many packages on Amazon. It’s not that Jack would care how you spend your own money but sometimes the way he chirps you about your ‘midnight tipsy shopping sprees’ you just didn’t wanna hear it. Since you know how Jack loves checking the camera everytime he gets a “movement” notification hoping it’s you to mess with. Since you were trying to avoid the teasing this time around you didn’t want him to catch how many amazon packages you brought a few days ago. So you change the address to Luke’s apartment only to realize you have to get the amazon packages into your house. 

Deciding that the best option for sneaking the packages inside your apartment was to force Luke and Nico to help. The plan was simple: Luke will stand in front of the ring camera while you and Nico Hurriedly carry everything inside. The plan was working great for about two whole minutes, just for Jack to hear Jack’s voice startle all three of you through the camera. 

“Luke, what are you doing? I thought you said you had a dentist appointment and that’s why you couldn’t come to the gym?”

Luke was an amazing person, but he was a terrible liar and that fact has never been more clear than in this moment. His nervousness got the best of him from the moment he heard his brother’s voice he said the first thing that popped into his head. “Yeah, just stopping by to give something to Y/N real quick.” 

“Okay? what are you giving her?” Jack’s curiosity was clear in his voice. It was obvious that he didn’t believe his brother’s lie and wanted to see how far Luke would go. Fuck him for knowing his little brother so well and fuck his curious personality in this moment you thought to yourself. 

All Luke can do is give a few ums as a response to his brother. Which is exactly what lets your anxiety raise and is probably why you decided to yell “LUKE PLEASE SHUT UP!” Now you’re feeling caught in the act of not only lying to your boyfriend about your tipsy shopping spree but also wanting to kill his little brother for not being able to come up with a better lie on the spot. 

All of this is of course what leads Nico to start to softly curse in German. Of course Jack recognized his captains’ voice. “Wait Nico is there too??” At this point Nico is sighing at the floor, holding 3 packages, you slide down the front door in true embarrassment at your failed plan and Luke is as red as a lobster. So all three of you are pretending that as long as you don’t move maybe Jack will forget the entire encounter. Only for Jack to softly chuckle and go “hey baby you know you used my card for amazon right?” Lifting your head in pure shock you must have been more drunk than you originally thought. “I knew the second you placed the order. It’s also my amazon account baby, you haven’t paid for prime in years.” 

Nico and Luke immediately throw their hands up in frustration and leave you in the hallway. Surrounded by packages and some were pretty heavy. Although you couldn’t blame them you would have left yourself too if you were them. Although you were a little sad that they didn’t speak to you for a week and didn’t even answer a group chat if she happened to be in it. After being salty for a week, they are more annoyed at themselves for trusting Y/N to come up with a plan in the first place because she’s the same girl who spent months planning Jack a surprise birthday party. Only to accidentally send an evite to Jack. 

   8.) Matching OOTD

Jack’s favorite thing when he’s home is matching his outfit with you.He loves your style and even he knows you have better shoe game then he does. But that doesn’t stop you from yelling at him to please leave the emotional support Air Forces Ones at home for one evening! Jack didn’t only love your thoughts on his fits, but he loved matching with you. He says that it’s just another way of people knowing that you're his and he finds it kind of hot. Plus he loves how happy you get when you can match shoes or even a simple sweats. When on the road he found himself missing your little routine of getting ready together. So everyday on your way out the door, you ring the camera and record your little outfit of the day. He tries his best to match some way even on roadies in some little way because it helps him feel closer to you. 

It slowly becomes Jack’s favorite thing about the day when the notification comes on his phone that you’ve left the apartment and recorded your fit. He always sends back a little video (sometimes with Lukey or Nico in it depending on the day) of his outfit choice as well. He loves on the rare day when he’s away that he can match with you even if it’s from across the country, and even when it’s as simple as wearing the same color shirt. Somehow this little act you guys have has helped the long roadies feel shorter and both of you have become grateful for this little daily ritual you’ve created. 

[endo-bunny]

Sit Down Now and Rest

-~-~-~-~-~-~

Description: You had anxiety and depression, and Tony and Bruce were more than happy with getting you anxiety meds the moment that you asked. When you stop taking your meds, your mental health plummets and spirals as well as your physical health, and everyone notices. Don't worry though, they're there for you.

Pairing: (Platonic) Avengers x Teen!Reader

Type: Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Depression, anxiety, sickness, fainting, dizziness, taking meds(both medicated and just vitamins/iron supplements), dehydration, insomnia, depressive and hurtful thoughts, reader doesn't talk very much in this, nicknames(Kiddo, Kid, Hun)

Word Count: 1,627

Note: I may or may not have written this with too much of myself being present… But it's fine! I also wrote this at like 2 in the morning so it's kinda rough but I just needed to get this typed out so here ya go! Also, the characters might be kinda ooc because I haven't watched any marvel movies in a little while but I've been hyper focused on fics with them lately so yea. And I am working on my tlou and tech fics, it's just hard to find the motivation to write them, but don't worry, I'm working on em.

-~-~-~-~-~-~

You were quick to notice that you stopped taking your meds. You knew that they helped you, but you couldn't get yourself to start the habit of taking them again. You wanted to, most definitely, but you couldn't. Every day was the same. Wake up, look at your meds, contemplate taking them, saying you'll take them later, go train, eat, and then not take them.

You also stopped taking them at night too. You had even set alarms so that you'd remember to take them, but it didn't help at all. Natasha was the first to notice that something was up, being the closest one with you. When she realized that something wasn't quite right, she made sure to keep a close eye on you. She was quick to pick up how dizzy you looked when you'd get up, sometimes not even being able to stay standing before you crumbled back onto the couch. You'd always play it off as if you just lost your footing but she and everyone else knew that that wasn't the case.

One morning you had gotten up much later than you had recently been getting up. When you checked the time, it was around two in the afternoon. You got up and went to the kitchen, feeling extremely hungry after forgetting, and also just not wanting dinner the night prior. When you arrived in the kitchen, Tony was there. He had kind of taken up the father role in your life.

The moment he saw that you had finally arose, he was quick to make a snarky comment in good fun, “Ah! The beast has finally awoken from their slumber, now off they go to find their beauty.”

You only roll your eyes, ignoring him. You felt exhausted, even though you got close to ten hours of sleep seeing as you fell asleep around 4 in the morning. You couldn't find anything easy to fix or that looked appetizing in the fridge or pantry so you just opted for a bottle of water that you would only take a sip or two of then leave with your other five almost full water bottles on your nightstand.

Before you could go back to the confines of your room, Tony had to ask you a question, “ Hey kiddo, did you take your meds?”

The question caught you off guard, not expecting him to ask seeing as he hasn't asked in a real long time.

“Oh yea! I, um, took them earlier but fell back asleep. Yea, that's what I did!”

You try to make it seem like you weren't lying through your teeth, but weren't very successful because of how exhausted you were. However, before Tony could confront you, you book it to your room. You hide there for the rest of the day, not coming out for Dinner. Steve had come by to tell you that dinner was ready but you told him that you weren't very hungry as you just kept your

on the book that you had your nose in. You kept your light on all night, not feeling tired.

The next morning, Nat knocked on your door around eight, coming to get you so that you could train with her. When she opened your door, she saw you laying on your back staring up at the ceiling. You looked exhausted and had dark circles under your eyes. When Bat opened the door, you flung up in surprise. You hadn't heard her knocking so you weren't expecting for the door to randomly open. You couldn't tell who it was at first because your vision went fuzzy black as your body tried to accommodate the sudden movement that you caused. Nat waited for you to acknowledge her.

When you did after a couple seconds, you looked over at the time, confused. It had just been two the last time you looked at the clock. How could it be eight all of the sudden? You were brought out of your thoughts by Natasha trying to talk to you. You zoned back in, giving her a questioning look.

“I said, are you ok? You look exhausted Hun. I came by to get ya to come train but it looks like you need to rest for a couple days.”

“Oh! No, I'm fine. Just give me a couple minutes to get ready and I'll be down and we can get to work in no time!”

She gave you a skeptical look but nodded, closing your door behind her.

When you got down to the training room, Bucky and Steve were there with Natasha. They smiled upon seeing you walk in. However, Bucky and Steve's bright smiles dropped upon looking at your figure. You were slouched, tired eyes not fully open and your eye bags were extremely dark.

Bucky was the first to point it out, “Hey Kid, you ok? You aren't looking too good.”

You only shrugged, your body aching and your throat feeling scratchy and sore for some reason.

As you're sparring with Natasha, you continuously have to stop the match because you go into coughing fits. As finish with your last coughing fit you go back to Natasha, but she's packing her stuff up.

“Wait, where are you going?” You're voice comes rather harsh and rude as you ask the red head.

“I think you should rest for the rest of the day Hun. I'll come check on you in a little while. But go take your meds and also some cough syrup and eat something.”

You didn't say anything as you grabbed your stuff and walked back to your room. This was stupid. It was just a little cold. You can still fight. You need to train. Deep down though you knew you needed to listen to her and do as she said. In the end, you don't. You go back to your room, take a sip or two of water, get a small snack and then sit down in the living room with a book.

You try to read it, but you can't stay focused for long enough to. Your mind is spiraling and racing. You kept replaying how training went. You were so pathetic. And rude. How could you be so rude? Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You slam the book down onto the sofa, huffing.

You hadn't noticed that some of the others had joined you in the living room. They look up at you, surprised. They weren't used to seeing you like this. You tried to get up quickly, wanting to get away from this embarrassing situation.

The moment you get up, the world goes black, buzzing and ringing is the only thing you can hear as you collapse. You feel something picking you up and setting you down on the couch. You blink your eyes a couple times, slowly feeling sensation being restored in your body. You look around you and see that Bruce is coming over with a damp cloth and water. Nat has your head resting in her lap and Tony has your hand in his. They all look worried as they stare down at you. You hear gasped as Steve and Bucky walk in.

Questions are being thrown at you, too fast for you to comprehend. You instinctively put your hands on your ears, feeling overwhelmed. They all quiet down upon seeing this. Tony is the one to ask the questions from then on.

“Hey, it's ok. We're sorry, didn't mean to overwhelm ya like that. Can ya sit up?”

You nodded, feeling embarrassed now. Tony nodded and Nat helped you sit up, allowing you to lean against her.

“Ok, drink some water, you're ok,” Tony hands you the water that Bruce had brought over as Bruce is wiping your face with the cold damp cloth.

“Ya feeling better?”

“Ya, I'm fine.”

“Have you been taking your meds, kid?”Tony doesn't hold back, knowing what it looks like when you don't take the meds that have been helping you produce what your body needs.

You sheepishly look down at your hands that are fidgeting in your lap. You inhale sharply before shaking your head no.

They all sigh, Natasha being the one to talk this time, “Why haven't you been taking your meds, Hun?”

“I-I just don't want to… I don't like the feeling.”

They looked at each other, wondering what to say. As they look at each other, you go to stand up, but they make sure that you don't get up.

“Sit down now and rest,” Bucky's voice comes from behind you, his hands still on your shoulders.

“I'm sorry…” Your voice comes out in a whisper.

“You're forgiven kiddo, but ya gotta start taking your meds again.” Steve comes over and sits on the other side of you as he speaks.

“I know.”

“How bout I take my medication with ya? God knows that I haven't been taking it as much as I should be,” Tony chuckles as he tries to negotiate with you.

You didn't know if it would actually help you but you were open to the idea.

“Good, drink some more water. Now what do you want to watch? Hm? TV's all yours,” Tony stood up, giving you the TV remote as everyone decided to sit down on the couch.

You picked your comfort movie as you snuggled up with Steve and Nat. Tony had gotten you some actual food, and by the time the movie was over, you had drank all the water, ate all the food, fell asleep, and almost everyone else had fallen asleep as well. You felt safe with the people that cared about you all around you. You knew that this would be a journey, but you also knew that you weren't alone.

-~-~-~-~-~-~

Tag list: @fakegingerrights @macchiato-dreaming22 @silnebula

[love-of-the-red-star]

That time I got reincarnated as an Aeon

(Series)

Chapter seven: In which March 7th joins the crew and asks why you have special privileges

Warnings: possibly ooc

You never expected to stumble upon the frozen chunk of ice that contained a familiar someone that you knew would become March 7th. She laid there, under the layers of unforgiving ice, naked and asleep.

For a brief moment, you wondered if you could just leave the ice to melt on its own, but shrugged the last minute and decided against it.

It was easy to just clip the ice out of existence and get the girl to safety, draping her in a comfortable quilt to protect her dignity and to keep her warm— you noticed she felt surprisingly soft for a girl frozen for god knows how long.

No one questioned you when you brought her in to the express and took her to your room, having known you long enough to trust you.

“She’s stabilizing.” Himeko told you as she finished examining her. “She’ll probably wake up in a few hours more or less.”

“That’s good.” You said as you observed the girl’s sleeping body, now dressed in some loose, soft colored nightgown that covered her entire figure.

“Where did you find her?” Himeko asked.

“Inside a block of ice.” You replied. “Eternal ice, specifically. Interesting, right?”

“Indeed it is…” She trailed off. “Any estimate of how long she’s been trapped in there?” She asked as she wasn’t there to observe the ice to know a timeline— it’s a miracle in itself that this girl was still alive after such a dangerous situation. She wasn’t a corpse, she didn’t bloat, didn’t bruise, and no signs of frostbite at all.

“Probably a long while. I haven’t seen eternal ice for a good few decades since I was born.” You answered, deliberately leaving out the detail that it was on the Aeon Fuli that you’ve seen traces of it last. It wasn’t your place to divulge that, and you too didn’t know the full story.

“Where’s Welt?” You inquired, changing the topic.

“He’s currently making some arrangements with Herta for our next stop.” Himeko replied. “Oh.. that reminds me,” she paused, as if uncertain. “I received a message from the IPC in regards to you— well, not quite. It’s your wanted poster.”

“Took them eight years to air out my dirty laundry outside two galaxies?” You frowned. “Lame.”

“Since when did you find out about this?” She looked at you with an incredulous look, remembering that your bounty was exactly a whopping 69 million credits. (Nice)

“I have no idea why they’re airing it this late here but I found out about it during my trip in a galaxy with a friend— I got famous there for killing IPC personnel using chairs.” You confessed with a casual shrug, you don’t miss the way she seemed taken aback, as if that was beneath you. Could she do anything about it?

No, not really. Because aside from you being basically this place’s patron deity since you vored the original one on accident, Himeko was just that kind of person. The kind who would just… get it.

“Also, it wasn’t unwarranted.” You sighed, throwing your hands up like that white, scuffled combination of a cat and a monkey to emphasize your exasperation. “They attacked me first. Walked around some old bar like they owned the place and tried to shoot me while I was trying to cheer on my friend.”

Himeko nodded. “I see.” She had enough common sense to figure out that people were basically asking for it— she’s however thankful that you’re at least not as destructive as she initially thought you would be.

She’s of course, wrong. But she doesn’t know that yet.

Emphasis on yet, because killing corporate employees with a chair wasn’t exactly the worst thing you did using a human projection. Does she have to know about what you did to Gopher Wood a few years ago while pretending you were just some bellboy in Penacony? No she doesn’t.

She didn’t need to know about the town you accidentally turned into Yharnam 2.0 around six years ago in some distant galaxy either. Granted, what transpired there wasn’t exactly your fault, but merely a result of people trying to foolishly communicate with your Aeon form without a transmission.

And thus, they were free of their ignorance. The exchange was that all of them went insane from gaining the “insight” needed to see you, observe you.

Himeko doesn’t need to know any of those things, or the sense of regret you felt by not being able to help them in the way they needed.

In the midst of your surprisingly quiet conversation, the unconscious girl woke up, and your face is the first thing she sees.

“Hello.” You smiled, gently taking her hand with your own. “Finally awake huh? You’ve been asleep awhile.” You said.

“H-hi.” Her response is weak, groggy. Himeko is quick to help her drink water for her parched throat, in which the girl accepts with little complaint. She almost coughs and you patted her back gently to ease her, telling her to slow down as she doesn’t let go of your hand along the way.

“Himeko, can you please get Pompom? She needs some soup.” It felt strange for you to be ordering her around with you easily forgetting you are technically the highest person in the train.

“I’ll get her something easy on the stomach, don’t worry.” Himeko merely smiled at you, complying with what you told her as you stayed with the girl.

“So, how’d you get in that ice?” You asked after a few moments, of course you already knew the answer, but you still let it out anyway.

“I… don’t know.” She told you. “Who are you?” Himeko said she’s stable— well, physically. You’re not sure how she is mentally.

“A stranger for now.” You smiled. “You should rest, you’re not exactly ready to get up just yet.” She nodded wordlessly at your words, and laid back down.

It doesn’t take her long to sleep.

“Welcome aboard, March 7th.”

——————

“Himeko, why does [Name] get to get out without contacting us for weeks but me and Dan Heng have to inform you of our whereabouts?”

Himeko paused with calibrating the navigation system as March put on the question.

“Well… despite how they look, they’re one of the senior members of the crew.” She began. “Don’t worry, they know their way back no matter where they are and where we will go.”

It’s a vague answer and March can tell, though, she doesn’t pry any further. You’ve been around in the express for longer than her or Dan Heng, so she chalked it up to you being the more experienced lot.

“Where are they right now though?” She pondered, and Himeko chuckled.

“Seems that someone is worried.” There is mirth in the navigator’s voice, March pouted in response.

“They’re all alone, of course I’m a little worried.” She said.

“I see. Not to worry, they’re fine, they’re just on another planet right now visiting a place.”

“Sigonia… IV?” Himeko pressed on the panel to show the state of the planet, and March almost blanched. “Wow, it’s…. dry… in there.”

“It’s a desert planet. [Name] was there before, they’re just finishing up in establishing a space anchor so we can head there whenever we’d like.” Himeko explained. “It was added recently to our navigation system around 12 or 13 years ago, and it’s inhabited mainly by two clans. You can ask Mr.Yang or Dan Heng if you’d like to know more about the planet. [Name]’s taken a liking to it.”

“Okay… what are other places that [Name] likes?” She’s curious now, despite having travelled with them for over four months, there wasn’t much that she knew about the mysterious astral express member at all.

“There is another place… they attended the university of Veritas Prime for a while before they quit because they got bored.” Himeko lightly laughed, recalling the memory of you going back to the train after spending a good portion of a year in the university, with you rather childishly stating you’re dropping out because you hated writing a thesis.

“Mr. Yang told me about that place once.. apparently it’s super prestigious.. and [Name] just quit because they got… bored?” Frankly, March was a little.. in disbelief.

While she couldn’t remember her past, she had enough common sense to know that academies like that simply aren’t places where you could just.. dip without a single regard.

But unfortunately, you were… well, you.

“That’s not.. really all there is to the story, even I’m not sure what actually happened, but it’s better for us not to question [Name]’s choices.” Himeko sighed, shaking her head.

“Okay…. Are there any other places that they like aside from a school and a desert planet?”

“I’m… not sure.” Now even Himeko was wondering what you actually liked aside from the things they already know. “I think they mentioned a tavern at one point. Though it’s not exactly one for a vacation spot.”

“What do you mean?” March tilted her head, curious.

“Let’s just say that it’s the kind where bounty hunters often linger around, at least that’s what they told me.” Himeko said without missing a beat, March shivered. “It’s alright, they said most of the people there are well acquainted with them.” She laughed lightly.

“That’s not exactly helping.” March sweatdropped.

“Oh! Looks like they’re done properly establishing the anchor.” Himeko chimed, Sigonia IV finally having a proper route for the express members to properly jump into.

March frowned, her questions haven’t yet been answered. What she got were vague, not pointing to anything personal about you.

Perhaps another day then. Or maybe when she’s braver, she’d ask you herself.

————————-

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, part VIII (HERE), Part IX…..

Interlude: one, two…..

Special chapter: link

That’s a wrap for the long awaited chapter 7– I know we didn’t have much of the reader acting here, but I also want to explore the POV of other people and how they perceive you because I think it’s important—

I promise you’ll see the reader in action in the chapter that follows this :))

[almostfoxglove]

have Javier and reader ever talked about his relations when he was in Columbia? them being best friends and all. did she laugh it off? did she understand? I'm curious ☺️

HI SWEETHEART this made my day when I got it. I'm so sorry it took a while to answer but I hope you don't mind that I got a little carried away with this one... everything's weird and bad right now so I'm gonna post this and try to get some sleep - I hope you're taking care of yourself <3 thank you soso much for sending this ask, seriously it means the world. ily!! here's some tenderness for you.

javier confesses about colombia

an I'LL CARRY YOU drabble

Explicit (18+) | Javier Peña x f!reader | drabble 1.1k words CW: Allusion to canon-typical violence & trauma and two idiots being sickeningly in love.

You never push back on anything but his blame. 

headcanons and full drabble below the cut!

in ICY, javi leaves to colombia (the first time) at twenty-eight (seen in part II). between that moment and when he returns aged thirty-six (seen in part I), they have no contact because her phone number changes, so when he calls her right after leaving (seen in dark heart), he thinks she's icing him out for good. *sobs gently*

we know he disappears again at the end of part I and doesn't return until he comes home for good at the end of part II. between those two meetings, they also have no contact - so his girl doesn't hear a thing about colombia (and by extension, all his sexual escapades), though she follows the news.

in the year after his return (all of part III) I don't think much of what happened down there comes up. javi's traumatized, still acclimating to civilian life while his girl's engaged *sobs harder*, and I imagine he's scared to admit his role in all the death and violence. if / when she asks, I think he keeps it pretty vague and chooses not to talk about the women he was involved with (they aren't together yet, after all)

POST-FINALE HOWEVER, javi tells her pretty much everything in little chunks at a time, including about all the women he slept with and what he knows of what became of them (I imagine the helena story is an especially tearful / difficult retelling, but it's important to him that she knows the truth). he's pretty terrified it'll scare her off, but I think we know her better than that.

here's a peek at what I imagine part of that conversation looked like <3

It’s the middle of the night and he’s not yet buying it, still has that little wrinkle above his nose that folds when he scowls cutting deep into his brow. Propped against the wall in his little twin bed, when you insist Javier’s dark eyes dodge yours and fall to the hands that knot themselves in his lap, anxious. But anxious is fine—just means he’s talking. Cutting off slabs of those missing years like meat from a bone for you to carry.

You’re grateful to be given anything at all. You know how deep trust like this really goes, unseen but branching. Mycelium underground. 

You never push back on anything but his blame. 

“Baby,” you say softly, and his jaw ticks as the word melts him a touch. 

His chin might flicker briefly like his body longs to cry, but if it does he wrestles it back before meeting you with dark, helpless eyes. “You don’t know,” he says, no cruelty in it. His voice not much more solid than a whisper and slaughtered red by guilt.

“Know you though,” you say.

The sigh that cuts out of him could shatter you. Javier turns to stretch out length-wise on the bed, his socked feet hanging off the end. You moved in weeks ago but haven’t gotten around to upgrading to a bigger mattress and part of you believes—though you’d never say it—that he’s waiting to get through all this first. Like the hurt of him needs to be here to do it: in the bed where you both once were small, held. So you allow it, take turns groaning in the daylight hours about your backs and hips and necks, and at night you hold each other ‘cause you have to, to fit in this little thing. Not that you wouldn’t, anyway. Not that either of you know how to sleep without the weight of the other’s body anymore. 

You always did sleep best beside him.

When he’s settled, you slip down to lie against him, propped up on one elbow with your torso folded over his and one arm draped across his hips. Javier sighs, pleased by the weight of you, and closes his eyes. 

“Was different there,” he says, after a long moment. “M’different now.” 

Outside the crickets are rioting again, ribbiting their threaded symphony. You push the hair back from his face—more pewter than ever but so familiar in its waves and curls—and watch the twitching of his face, all the microscopic ways he wrestles with some unnamed memory. 

You give him his time. All this patient, open air until he swallows and starts to say, “Didn’t do right—” 

It isn’t that his voice cracks, just that it stops all at once like someone’s lifted the needle off a record. Though you don’t know precisely what he’s trying to say, you sense its jagged outline. Can feel the memory slicing him anytime he speaks. Below you, Javier clears his throat. “Didn’t do right by them.”

Deep breath, then you push.

“Did you hurt them,” you ask, your voice quiet but solid, firm.

Though his brows fold low, his eyes stay closed. Swallows again. “No,” he says.

“Did you touch them without their consent,” you go on. “Do anything they didn’t want.”

“No,” Javier replies.

“Were you cruel?”

He shifts, uneasy. Mutters back a weak and whispered, “No.” Sometimes he has trouble with this one and stumbles over the answer, but tonight he’s got it right.

You know all this, of course. You’re not asking for you because you already know the answers—know him, whether he wants to admit it right now or not. Doesn’t matter that he’s different now; so are you. So is everybody. Tragedy doesn’t let a goddamn thing stay the same. And while you’ve always known you’ll never see nor fathom the whole, vicious picture—what living down there through years of violence laid ghost and seed beneath his skin—there’s not a bone in your body that believes him malicious. 

At first he worried, but you don’t care about the bodies he lost himself in. All the women he held and had. Sort of surprised you too, but you didn’t learn of them until after you’d found each other again, for good this time, and so what was there to be afraid of? That there’d been, in the worst of his agony, warm hands and welcome bodies? 

No, you don’t care. Doesn’t matter the number. 

You’re glad that at least for small, clustered minutes, he wasn’t always alone.

“Did you try?” you ask. This is the big one, the one you know hurts most for him to hear. “To help them.”

In the turquoise cover of early night, Javier’s face crumples in. Forehead canyoned by lines, his eyes swallowed by miserable, crinkled Vs. You see no glossy tears slip loose but they must be in there, hidden under his lashes when for so long he holds his breath like he can’t trust his own lungs or own mind. While you wait, you lay one palm in the center of his chest and the shimmer of moonlight winks off your hand, reflected in the flat face of a garnet, making silver of red and pearl. It feels, for the moment it’s bright, a little like having his mother back. Like you can feel her in the room, holding him with you.

Javier’s heart hammers beneath your touch, then his hand bolts up to cover yours as if to keep you there. As if you’d ever pull away. “I—”

You press down gently, give him your warmth, your weight, and his hand tightens in kind.

“I wanted to,” he croaks.

“Did you try?”

And it breaks him, chokes him. One wet sound punches out of his chest but he’s tough, soft bits and all. Something in him’s always just known how to hold on. How to take it, for better or worse. But it’s for the better here, you’re certain. Because he won’t survive believing himself evil—you see that clearly, illuminated like a streetlamp casting gold over a night-dark road. If he doesn’t see that he tried, doesn’t let himself feel it, one of these days the guilt will kill him.

It’s just the one ragged breath, then he pebbles apart perfectly still. Steady, you leaden your weight on his sternum, press down a little harder, and Javier grips your hand with greater need. All his warring goes on quietly, invisible in all but his head.

“M’right here,” you tell him gently.

He nods, his eyes still shut. His breaths slow and agonizing.

“Right here,” you say.

Together you wait for the spell to pass, for the storm to clear, until finally the clouds part over him and he sucks one longer, deeper breath, dragging all the room’s air into his lungs. There it is, there he is, solidifying under your palm. Seaming back together, stained glass made new. 

“I tried,” Javier breathes.

His face unfurls and the deep lines once carved with a knife fall smooth. The wrinkles stay of course, all the evidence of his life, but they’re softer now. You trace the crows feet at the corner of his eyes with your thumb and find his skin hot and damp. 

“I know you did, baby,” you whisper to him. “You tried.”

Suddenly his arms fly up and crush you to his chest—so startled, you yelp and can’t help but chuckle as his grip tightens and tightens. You let him squeeze you, your arms trapped under his, and hum softly when you feel his nose against your hair. Carefully he inhales, then slow he exhales: something he’s picked up in his sessions, attended twice a month. Which is how you know that although he’s fallen silent, he’s busy in his mind reminding himself of frivolities. All the tiny bits he must have missed in those long, distant years he spent away from you, believing you hated him. 

You imagine cut grass and July sunshine, beer bottles ice cold on the porch with his pop,

and rolling cigarettes in the bed of the pickup at sixteen, laughing at the sour clouds choking out of you when you couldn’t hold your smoke,

and birthday parties,

and your hand, at every age, in his.

He knows better now, that you never hated him and never could. Knows too that you’ve loved him all the years he’s loved you and will all the years you have left.

Eventually you feel the air shift as he comes home into his body. With his chest smushed tight against the shell of your ear, you’re half asleep, adrift in the deep throb of his pulse. You feel his mustache, the graze of his lips, and the quiet murmur of his voice calling you another name. New, these last weeks. It still surprises you, the sweetness of mi amor on his tongue, in his mouth.

“Get some sleep,” Javier murmurs as his arms go slack around you without pulling away.

“Only if you do,” you mumble in reply, eyes feathering open just long enough to catch the last of the sky’s deep blue. Then they’re closed again. Everything is warm and black.

“M’right behind you,” he says, and soon you’re both asleep.

dividers by @saradika-graphics <3 tag list below!

@pedritosgfreal @thundermartini @guiltyasdave @jolapeno @reluctanthalfwayoptimism 

@myownwholewildworld @sunnytuliptime @indiegirlunited @anoverwhelmingdin @pedrospatch

@bergamote08 @harriedandharassed @casssiopeia @sweetpascal @half-moon16 

@noisynightmarepoetry @theoraekenslover @luxurychristmaspudding @kyberblade @toomanytookas 

@itsokbbygrl @wannab-urs @milla-frenchy @yopossum @beezusvreeland

@katw474 @bluesweaters15 @jessthebaker @encasedinobsidian @ppascalrain

@yxtkiwiyxt @schnarfer @bbyanarchist @amanitacowboy @iknowisoundcrazy

@whiskeyneat-coffeeblack @missladym1981 @ro-nahime-things @helenanell

[parad-ice-lostandfound]

Prompt: The Prefect and their friends talk about the events of the Glorious Masquerade and come to some... rather belated conclusions.

Pairing: GN!Prefect/ Yuu/ MC with Deuce Spade, Epel Felmier and Sebek Zigvolt (Platonic)

Genre: Crack

TW: Slight spoilers for Book 5 of Glorious Masquerade.

AN: So... finally read the ending of Glorious Masquerade. I have very many feelings about Malleus and Rollo (obviously) but I also have many feelings about the Prefect's immunity to the firelotuses that everyone so conveniently forgot. In Idia's words, they're all a bunch of 'unga bunga, brute force' kinda people lmao-

This is also my first time writing for Sebek and Epel so I'm very nervous lol. If they seem out of character or something else seems weird, let me know!

"Man, I'm beat."

Deuce flopped onto your bed, sinking into the soft mattress with a sigh of relief. You smiled at him, running a comb through your hair to remove any tangles in it.

The two of you were already in pyjamas, tired from a night of dancing and socializing. You were waiting on a few more people though.

"Did you tell Epel and Sebek to meet us in my room?" You asked him as you ran your comb through your hair. The older students had to report the entirety of the previous night to Professor Trein, so you had decided that the first years could have their own tea-spilling session in your room. Grim, however, wanted to hear the heroic tales of the older students (and regale them with his own, no doubt) so he was with Professor Trein instead of being with you.

"I told Epel" his voice was muffled as he spoke, face smushed against the pillow. "He said they'd be here-"

Knock, knock. "Prefect? Are you in there?"

You walked over to the door, opening it to find Epel and Sebek, both in their pyjamas as well. Epel smiled at you, holding his hands behind his back, "I got Sebek like Deuce told me to."

"Human, what is the meaning of this?" Sebek huffed, too tired to yell his words like he usually did. He crossed his arms over his chest, narrowing his eyes at you. "As a retainer of Malleus-sama, I must get the required eight hours of sleep to continue to serve him diligently. How dare you keep me up after a night of saving the entirety of Twisted Wonderland from those abysmal flowers, and another night of merry-making?"

His words lacked their usual fire, so you just gave him a cheeky smile and pulled the two of them inside, closing the door behind them. "Come on, I just wanna talk to you guys. Besides, I have snacks."

Epel gave you a side-eye, trying to keep a cheeky smile from forming on his face. "Vil would be so mad."

"What Vil doesn't know won't hurt him~" you hummed, and Epel giggled. Sebek just sighed, taking his place on your bed after nudging Deuce a little.

"And then, when the flowers started climbing up his tail, he climbed onto Professor Trein's shoulder!"

"What?!" "Oh my-" "HOW ILL-MANNERED!"

You giggled at the reactions of your friends as you recounted Grim's actions. The four of you were sat on your bed. You were sitting with your back against the headboard, a pillow on your lap on which Deuce rested his head. With his feet planted on the bed and his knees in the air, his legs made a backrest for Epel who leaned against them, sitting with his legs criss-crossed. On your right side sat Sebek, with the snacks you four were sharing in the middle of the bed.

"I had half a mind to pull him off Professor Trein, but before that, the Bell of Solace rang," you hummed, messily braiding Deuce's hair as you spoke. "And then all the flowers wilted, and well, you know the rest."

"I still can't believe Grim tried to climb Professor Trein," Epel giggled as Sebek shook his head. Deuce sighed, looking up at you, "Well, I can't blame the little guy for being scared. Those flowers were no joke."

"Yeah, for you guys maybe. For me, they were just plain old flowers, if a little persistent and irritating," you shrugged.

"What?"

"Magicless human, remember?"

All three boys looked at you like you had grown three heads and burst into song and dance. You gave them a defensive glare, "What? I'm just saying, those things were perfectly harmless to me."

"....Yeah... Wait, does this mean we could have just sent you up to ring the bell?"

"Probably not...? I mean, Rollo was there on the top guarding the bell wasn't he? If he used magic against me, I'd be defenceless."

"Well, Rollo seemed a bit... partial towards you? You could've tricked him like you did with Azul-senpai that one time..." Deuce trailed off, and the four of you took in his words.

There was a moment of silence before-

"YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THERE WAS NO NEED TO PUT MALLEUS-SAMA IN DANGER?!"

[sprinkler-ashes]

begin again // aaron hotchner x reader

begin again

aaron hotchner x fem!reader

description: in which there are five times that aaron hotchner restores your faith in love and one time where you restore his. inspired by begin again by taylor swift.

words: 6.1k

warnings: cursing, a touch of angst, hotch in a quarter zip and casual clothes (yes this requires a warning), fluff, hurt/comfort if you squint, reader has an awful ex (gn pronouns for ex), mentions of violence and injuries

a/n: i’ve been working on this all throughout the week every night at like 3 am running on, at best, 4 hours of sleep so i’m very sorry if there are grammar/spelling errors – i will edit soon. also i fear i’ve been watching too much dharma & greg, and this was the product. enjoy!

i've been spending the last eight months

thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end

but on a wednesday in a cafe

i watched it begin again

One.

It was week one of your new job at the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit when you knew with absolute certainty that as soon as you arrived back at the bureau, you were going to hand in your resignation.

You were sitting away from the rest of the team who all sat together, though a little cramped, and deep into discussion about something that you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to. They were talking normally as if everything they just witnessed over the last few days didn’t affect them.

You knew that you were new to this – it was your first week on the job. But you felt like you should be… happier than the way you currently felt. This was your dream job: one that you’ve spent years working towards. One that you gave everything up for, including your relationship.

However, it was starting to feel like it wasn’t worth it.

The team was very lovely. From the moment the case had begun, each one of them made an effort all throughout the trip to Missouri to make sure you were keeping up and doing okay. They’d even tried to get you to come over and chat with them when the flight started, but you lied and said you were tired.

Your head was leaning against the window, your eyes peering out to see nothing but blue skies and clouds. This was everything you’d ever wanted, so why did you feel the way you did?

A voice in the back of your head told you that your ex was right; you weren’t cut out for this. You were going to fail just like they always said you were going to – this was a mistake.

You couldn’t help but be on the verge of a breakdown with all the thoughts running through your head, but there was no way you could cry due to the presence of someone moving to sit in the seat in front of you. A part of you didn’t want to look up because you knew exactly who it was. You didn’t want to look him in the eyes, but, reluctantly, you did look up only seconds later.

BAU Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner was sitting in front of you with his usual gaze that made you feel slightly intimidated. He seemed to be good at everything he did – or at least everything you had seen him do. He was well-respected, a damn good profiler, and so put-together that it made you feel like a mess in comparison.

“Can I help you, sir?” You asked, attempting to mask the conflicted feelings in your voice.

He ignored your question. “You just finished your first case. I wanted to see how you were feeling. You and Reid really helped by figuring out the geographical profile.”

You should’ve known he would know. This was a plane full of profilers – they probably all knew.

“I’m good,” you lied with an attempted smile that never reached your eyes. “I’m glad we caught the guy; I’m just really exhausted.”

Aaron didn’t say anything as he obviously did not believe you with his eyes still watching you, presumably reading more about you in mere seconds than you even knew about yourself. The two of you sat in silence for a moment, the chatter from the rest of the team filling the air.

“They’ve all been here for years,” he suddenly said. “It still affects them, but it gets easier.”

“I don’t know if I’m cut out for this,” you told him, your voice cracking in the middle of your sentence. You shut your eyes, cutting off eye contact. You didn’t want to look at your boss after you basically just told him you can’t do your own job.

This is so embarrassing, you thought to yourself.

When you finally re-opened your eyes, Aaron was still watching you. He moved forward, crossing his arms and resting them on the table between the two of you. He was looking at you with what you almost would’ve called sympathy.

“You can do this,” he reassured you, making sure his voice couldn’t be heard by the rest of the team. “You wouldn’t be here if you couldn’t. It’ll get better.”

The sheer honesty in his voice caused unshed tears to form in your eyes. No one had given you the affirmation you so desperately needed in a long time – not even your ex, who often said more unkind things than kind.

“What if it doesn’t?” You asked, blinking hard to get rid of the tears that were threatening to fall.

“It will,” he said firmly, emphasizing his words. “Go home, rest, and come back for a new day tomorrow.” With that, he stood back up, straightened out the sleeves of his suit jacket, and looked at you one last time before walking back over to where he was originally sitting. “You did very well this week.”

Aaron said everything with so much sincerity that for the first time in a while, you felt a little bit better.

—

Two.

You didn’t end up quitting.

It had been a little over a month since you almost quit your job after the first week. Things still weren’t perfect, but you had gotten more used to being a profiler and had gotten to the point where going to work didn’t feel like such a chore.

You were now in a small North Dakota town on a case. It was the second week of December, and the heat was out at the inn you were staying at, which all of you had, unfortunately, found out when arriving back from the police department.

“I probably know the answer to this, but is there any way we could go somewhere else?” JJ asked as she stood by the door. “It’s freezing, Hotch.”

“Actually, in order for it to be freezing, it would need to be–”

“Reid, not now,” Derek cut him off.

Aaron looked up from the folder he was reading. “We can’t go anywhere else. This is the only place to stay in town, and it’s the only place that was approved and booked.”

“They said they will probably have it going again in under an hour. Maintenance is working on it now,” Rossi announced as he entered the room, stepping past JJ. “They apologized for the inconvenience.”

It was eleven at night, and everyone was in clothes they were sleeping in except for Aaron who still wore his suit, minus the tie and jacket. You didn’t know how he wasn’t freezing in only his white dress shirt. The rooms at the inn were relatively tiny, but the team had all managed to cram into Aaron’s room, who got one to himself this time. They’d all flocked to his room in an attempt to figure out if staying somewhere else was possible, except for you, who had already been there.

You were sitting on the couch in the room next to Aaron as you attempted to help him figure out how this particular unsub was kidnapping his victims. The couch was particularly small, leaving no room between you and him. The entire side of your thigh was pressed against his, warmth radiating off of him despite the cold room.

Aaron sighed, laying down the folder and running a hand across his temple. “I’m sorry, but it’s out of my hands. Everyone, go back to bed. Hopefully the heat will be back on soon.”

“You coming?” Emily, your roommate for the duration of time you would be in North Dakota, asked as everyone filed out of the room.

You shook your head. “I’ll be there soon. I’m going to look over this one last time and see if there’s anything I missed.”

Emily told the both of you goodnight and left the room, leaving only you and Aaron still sitting together.

He made you very nervous. 

Aaron was older, extremely accomplished, more experienced in the job, and working with him alone was nerve-wracking. You’d proven yourself immensely in the short amount of time you had been a member of the BAU. Still – he was wonderful at everything. The idea of being wrong around him was terrifying.

As you continued to look through everything laid out in front of you, you couldn’t focus. It was so cold to the point where you couldn’t feel the tip of your nose anymore, and you were slightly shivering, crossing your arms in an attempt to warm up a little.

“Looks like I should’ve brought a winter coat to sleep in,” you attempted to joke.

The left corner of Aaron’s mouth tipped upward as he stood up and moved to the small closet. “It is pretty cold, isn’t it?”

Before you knew it, there was a brown blanket being draped across your shoulders.

It wasn’t very thick nor was it very comfortable. In fact, it felt a little scratchy to the touch as it brushed over your bare hands, but Aaron situated it until it was entirely wrapped around you while his body hovered over yours. You stopped breathing momentarily, your heart picking up its pace every time his hands scraped over your own arms. Even through your thick sweatshirt and the blanket, you could still feel his touch.

“Thanks,” you muttered. Your heart rate had gone back down to normal now that he was moving to sit again.

“I can’t have one of my agents going hypothermic,” he joked and gave you one of his rare smiles; the ones that were usually reserved for outside of work.

You weren’t blind – Aaron Hotchner was a gorgeous man, and you wouldn’t deny that just the scent of his very expensive cologne alone was enough to make you feel slightly dizzy.

However, that's all you thought. He was your boss, and you were dealing with a breakup that was still laying heavy on your heart and constantly consumed your thoughts.

But even after the heat started working only half an hour later, you didn’t remove the blanket and temporarily forgot about the person who broke your heart while you worked next to him.

—

Three.

It was six months into your job when you found yourself having one of the worst days ever.

You’d woken up late and to a text from a friend letting you know that the ex you’d been getting over for half a year was now social-media-official with the person they told you not to worry about, you spilled coffee all over your car and your white top resulting in you being even later for work as you had to go back to your apartment and change.

You were a stumbling mess when you finally made it to the conference room for the meeting that you were six minutes late for. All eyes were focused on you as you mumbled apologies and sat down while trying to listen to Aaron’s voice. It was some housekeeping things and maybe you should’ve listened, but your head was elsewhere.

The rest of the day did not go well either. Halfway through the day, you had managed to screw up the fax machine, trip over your own shoes, and give yourself not one but two paper cuts. All of it sounded like minor things – a paper cut shouldn’t have set you off so badly, but it really did.

By the end of the day, you wouldn’t have minded if the ground opened up and swallowed you whole. Once you did one more thing, you would finally be able to go home.

“Come in.”

Aaron’s office was a place that you had grown to not fear so much. In the beginning of your job, every time you had to go in, it almost felt like you were in middle school walking into the principal’s office as he sat there at his desk with a stoic stare and hardly any emotion in his voice.

“I got your email about needing to speak with me,” you told him, coming inside and shutting the door behind you. “What did you need?”

He looked up at you as you moved closer to his desk. “I just wanted to know if you were okay.”

You frowned. “I thought you said in the email that you needed to speak with me about something important?”

Aaron nodded as if it was no big deal. “You’ve been acting off all day. How you feel is an important thing – even if you think it isn’t. So, are you okay?”

Your heart broke at his kindness. He was always nice to you, maybe nicer than he should’ve been, but calling you into his office just to make sure you were okay after a bad day made you wonder why no one else had ever cared about your feelings like this.

“I’m okay,” you told him. “It’s just been a terrible day.”

Still sitting at his desk with his full attention on you, Aaron asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

You wouldn't lie – you did think about his proposal for a moment. There weren't many people for you to talk to. You had friends, but not many in Quantico other than your co-workers. You’d moved alone without knowing anyone, and you worked so much that there was rarely time for you to go out and meet new people.

But Aaron was a busy man. He was probably just offering to be polite – there was no way he cared that much to hear about your miniscule problems when his job was as hectic and busy as it was.

“No, Hotch, I don’t want to keep you here any longer–”

He cut you off. “I’m already here; it doesn’t matter. You can talk to me. I’ve been rather concerned about you.”

At that moment, you couldn’t come up with an excuse as to why the idea of him thinking about you was enough to make your heart flutter.

“It’s… it’s stupid,” you started, taking a seat in the chair in front of his desk. “I had a bad breakup right before I moved to Quantico. My ex didn't really care when I went to the Academy, but they exploded when I told them how I finally got this job. It was constant fighting before they gave me an ultimatum: them or taking the job.”

“And you chose the job?”

You laughed, feeling a little pathetic. “No, at first, I didn’t. They really got it stuck in my head that I wasn’t good enough to do this. I was going to turn it down and stay, but I changed my mind last minute. I found out this morning they’re now with someone else. Then, I was late, I fucked up the fax machine, and I got a couple paper cuts. It’s nothing, really – it was just a bad day.”

Aaron moved around in his seat, leaning back a little and crossing his arms. “It isn’t nothing if it bothers you.”

“I didn’t know you were a therapist,” you tried to joke, squirming awkwardly in your seat. You were already feeling vulnerable and the way he was looking at you wasn’t helping.

“Only part-time,” he said. “Don’t tell anyone – someone may think I have emotions.”

His face was completely stoic when he said it, but as soon as you started to laugh, he joined in.

“Really, though, I’m okay – just exhausted. I think the universe just hates me right now.” You stood up to leave. “I want to beat the rush hour traffic, so I should head out, but thanks for checking on me.”

He nodded in acknowledgement and you were on your way out while thinking the interaction was over, when he called out your name.

You stopped, hand still grasping the door you were about to open. “Yeah?”

“It’s their loss.”

A frown appeared on your face. “What do you mean?”

“Your ex,” he explained. “You shouldn’t lose sleep over someone who doesn’t know how lovely you are.”

Lovely.

You’d been called a lot of things in your life, probably even some adjectives better than lovely, but the way it just rolled out of Aaron’s mouth as if it was a casual, every-day-like occurrence made you feel warm.

Aaron Hotchner thought you were lovely and knowing that kept a smile on your face for days after while the wounds that had been given to you by someone else slowly healed.

—

Four.

After a year of working with the BAU, you ended up with your first unsub-related injury.

You thought going to the hospital was pointless because you truly felt fine, but both Derek and JJ argued relentlessly for you to go due to the nasty gash on your head. Unfortunately, you were outnumbered and sent to the hospital for an evaluation after the unsub you were after thought it was okay to slam you on the ground a little too hard, resulting in a blow to your head when you went down and hit the concrete.

JJ rode with you to the hospital in the ambulance that you, very much, did not think was necessary. After seeing a doctor, it was determined that you had a concussion. With a thick bandage on your wound and a drive home from JJ who gave you strict rules on taking care of yourself while you healed like the mother she was, you were finally alone in the comfort of your apartment after a long day spent in Manassas – the location of the latest case.

Now that the adrenaline had worn off, you were starting to feel the symptoms and the sound of knocking on your door felt like nails being drilled into your head.

However, the person standing on the other side when you opened the door made your head spin faster than the concussion did.

Aaron was standing on the other side of the door, one hand holding a brown paper bag with a look of worry on his face. He was dressed casually in a navy blue sweatshirt and jeans, nose slightly red from where he had walked through the cold November air to get inside your apartment building.

In other words, he looked very good. It was hard to not grab and kiss him.

You’d developed somewhat of an attraction for your boss since that fateful day in his office. Not that you hadn’t been attracted to him before, but it now felt more like a serious affection and not some small crush – the first time you felt this way about anyone in a long time.

“Hi,” he said, shifting his weight from one foot to another upon seeing you. “How are you?” He paused after his eyes glanced at the very obvious bandage on your forehead. “Wait, I don’t think that’s an appropriate question right now. I’m sorry.”

You giggled despite the throbbing in your temple, moving to let him into your apartment. “I’m as good as I can be right now. Come on in.”

He walked into your apartment, following you into the kitchen after you shut the door and locked it. Aaron had only been to your apartment once after giving you a ride home from work, but this was the first time he’d ever been inside.

“Shouldn’t you be resting?” He asked while you got a glass of water.

You nodded slightly, careful to cause any more pain. “Probably, but I can’t get any rest until my medicine kicks in and my head doesn’t feel like it’s about to bust.”

Aaron winced. “I tried to come to the hospital, but JJ had already taken you home by the time I got there, so I came here. I apologize for coming unannounced and so late, but I had to make sure you were okay.”

“You do that a lot,” you told him, leaning against one of the counters in the kitchen. “Making sure I’m okay.”

“I happen to care about you a lot.”

Hiding your smile behind the glass of water, you took a sip before focusing your attention back on the bag he brought with him. “What’s in the bag?”

It seemed as though he had forgotten he was still holding something. He raised it up and held it out to you, an almost-shy look dancing across his face that you’d never seen before on him. “I, um, made a stop at the store for you on my way over. It’s just over-the-counter medicine, extra bandages, and a couple snacks that I know you like. I figured it might help you out since you can’t drive for the next two days.”

You couldn’t stop the grin that appeared on your face. It was almost as if every time you thought Aaron couldn’t get any more perfect, he would prove you wrong.

He continued as he sat the bag down on the counter next to you. “I also wanted to tell you that Strauss said take all the time you need to recover.”

You gave him a quizzical look. “She did?”

There was only silence between the two of you as you looked at each other until he shrugged. “Well, I told her that you’re going to be taking all the time off that you need, and she didn’t really say anything so take all the time you need.”

“It’s just a concussion,” you told him. “I’ll be back to work soon.”

“A concussion is a serious thing,” Aaron said with a frown, not liking the way you brushed the injury off as nothing. “I’m glad you’re okay. Morgan said you hit the ground pretty hard before he cuffed the guy.”

You took another sip of your water before sitting it down. “I’m alive and well – Derek was just worried.”

As much as you were enjoying the feeling of talking with Aaron in your kitchen, the heaviness you felt in your eyes reminded you that it was nearly midnight, and you’d had a long day. The yawn that escaped your mouth didn’t go unnoticed.

“I should go and let you get some rest.”

You really didn’t want him to go. There weren't many other opportunities where you would get Aaron in your apartment like this. It felt oddly domestic, and you hated the fact that you loved it so much. But he was right – you did need the rest.

“Thank you again for stopping by,” you told him as the two of you walked the short distance back to the front door. “And for all the stuff you bought. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to,” he said, his hand lingering on the door knob. “If you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to call.”

He was opening the door before you called out, “Wait,” your mind flooded with déjà vu from the time he stopped you on your way out of his office.

Aaron paused and turned to look back at you. His body hadn’t left the room yet, but the door was slightly ajar where he opened it. 

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you walked over to him and threw your arms around his broad torso engulfed in the softest sweatshirt you’d ever felt.

“Thank you,” you softly said. “Not just for tonight, but for, well, just caring about me.”

He didn’t waste a second reciprocating the hug as he wrapped his arms around you even tighter, careful not to get near the bandage on your forehead and further hurt you. He was like a human heater – warm, tall, and you fit perfectly against him.

One hug from Aaron was like a band-aid healing any problem you had – even the external ones. Maybe this was what the placebo effect felt like and if this was it, you wanted it over and over again.

“Of course,” he muttered, arms still locked around you as if he needed this more than you did.

When you finally parted, his cheeks were dusted with a slight red shade as he wore one of his grins that you’d grown to love and receive more often. “Goodnight.”

Even though you had a raging headache and a painful cut on your temple, it had nothing on the big smile you kept on your face even as you drifted off into sleep that night still feeling warm and giddy.

—

Five.

It had been almost two months since you hugged Aaron in your apartment.

Since that night, something changed in the relationship between the two of you. You couldn’t really place your finger on what had changed, but there was a shift. Tension was thick – not in a bad way but in a way where you wanted to grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him to you any time you were alone.

You also had the feeling that he felt the same way. Aaron had been a profiler for many more years than you had been, but you liked to think you were good at your job. You could read him and from the way his eyes watched you, you could tell he was feeling the same tension in the air.

It was New Year’s Eve, and David Rossi had, after a lot of pleading from Penelope, agreed to host a small get-together for the team plus family including Will, Henry, and Jack – the latter two were currently running around the, very expensive, house, which was driving Dave insane as kept watch to make sure nothing got damaged due to the kids.

You were standing outside in the backyard, the late-December air hitting your face as you glanced down at your phone that told you it was almost midnight.

When you thought back to who you were around this time last year –  a woman in a new city with a demanding job and hardly any friends, still crying yourself to sleep over someone who didn’t deserve your tears – it made you want to smile.

It had been a little over a year since you started working at the BAU and as you glanced inside through the large glass doors, you felt like you belonged. There was no more doubt, no more tears, and no more days where you wanted to run away.

“What are you doing out here? You’ll freeze to death.” You turned around to find Aaron closing one of the glass doors and moving towards you.

He was wearing a black quarter zip and jeans – a casual outfit but one of your favorites. For reasons that you couldn’t understand, Aaron Hotchner in a quarter zip made you feel things.

“I came out here because it’s cold,” you told Aaron, leaning against a railing and crossing your sweater-covered arms. “It’s so hot and stuffy in there. It’s like Rossi is trying to burn us all alive.”

Aaron laughed and walked over next to you. He leaned against the railing, his arm brushing against yours. “He does keep his house pretty hot.”

“Is Jack having a good time?”

Jack Hotchner was probably your favorite kid you’d ever met. He was a total sweetheart, and you instantly got along with him from the first day you met him.

You didn’t miss the way Aaron’s face lit up a little as you mentioned his son. “Yes, I think so. He’s a big fan of celebrating the New Year because he gets to stay up late.” You then watched his face fall a bit. “He’s been missing his mom a lot lately, so coming here tonight – it’s good for him.”

You knew of Aaron’s ex-wife who had died before you joined the team, and you knew the terrible way that it happened. You’d also heard that it greatly affected Jack and Aaron, even though he hid it more than he should’ve.

“It must be hard on him, but I’m glad he’s having a good time tonight.”

Aaron smiled. “He loves the team, but I think you’re his favorite.”

You grinned. “No way! I’m honored.”

A comfortable silence grew between the two of you with no sounds other than distinct chatter and laughs from inside of the house. You glanced over to Aaron who was pulling out his phone.

“Eleven fifty-eight,” he said. “You want to head back inside and watch the ball drop?”

You almost said yes at first because you actually did want to see the ball drop, but you also wanted a moment alone with Aaron considering you rarely got them in a setting outside of work. Maybe you were being selfish, but you didn’t care – a few more minutes with him wouldn’t hurt. “I think I’m going to stay out here.”

He didn’t say anything. Aaron kept his phone out so the two of you could keep an eye on the clock app, its tiny, orange hand moving around the twelve, now signalizing that it was eleven fifty-nine.

Your eyes kept watch on the clock as it got closer to passing twelve again. You were starting to get nervous. A part of you expected Aaron to go inside after you told him you weren’t going back in – it wasn’t like he was obligated to stay out in the cold with you.

However, he never went back inside and as the clock kept getting closer to midnight, only seconds away now, you wondered if he was thinking the same thing you were: the traditional New Year’s kiss.

You discretely searched for any sign on his face that gave away if he was going to kiss you or not. You so desperately wanted it but if he wasn’t thinking the same thing, there was no way you were going to embarrass yourself by trying to kiss him.

Ten.

Still no sign – you were starting to panic a little.

Nine.

What were you supposed to do?

Eight.

Would he rather have a handshake? He did have a pretty firm grip.

Seven.

No, screw a handshake. Who gives someone a handshake at midnight on New Year’s?

Six.

He put down his phone and was starting to turn toward you.

Five.

Was he actually going to kiss you?

Four.

“Forgive me if I’m reading this wrong, but can I kiss you?”

Three.

You couldn’t form words, only a nod, eyes slightly widened.

Two.

He was moving his hand up to your cheek and, oh dear, this was actually going to happen.

One.

Aaron’s lips were warm against yours, and you weren’t sure if you’d ever been kissed with so much delicacy. He was gentle and respectful. Your hands pressed against his chest before you finally moved them up to the nape of his neck under the collar of the quarter zip you loved so much, pulling him even closer to you.

You felt secure and safe pressed up tightly against him with one hand of his cupping your jaw as the other rested firmly on your lower back. Your mouth was opening up before you could even stop it. Aaron smiled against your lips as he felt it before he deepened the kiss.

 This time, he was kissing you much more firmly and with the feeling of his tongue moving against yours, you couldn’t remember the last time, or if ever, you felt the way you did. His hand pressed even harder against your back, making you inhale sharply during the kiss.

There was a time in your life when you thought you would never find someone else – that maybe you were destined to be alone all because of one person who didn’t see your worth, but Aaron made all the pain go away to the point where you hadn’t thought of the person who hurt you in months.

Aaron made you feel like you were floating all the time. He reminded you of your worth instead of breaking you down. He was a man who did both the small things like throwing a blanket around your cold body and the big things like bringing you snacks and medicine after a hit to the head – the definition of “if he wanted to, he would” in the best way possible.

“Hey! You guys missed the – holy shit!”

You flung yourself off Aaron and looked behind him to see Emily standing there, her mouth wide open. You’d never seen her utterly speechless like she was at the moment. She opened and closed her mouth for a moment, glancing back and forth between the two of you before she finally found something to say.

 “Morgan and Reid owe me fifty bucks.”

—

(+) One.

It was three months into Aaron Hotchner’s relationship with you when he knew with absolute certainty that he loved you.

His job was difficult, and today was no different but instead of shaking it off before going home, he couldn’t help but feel a cloud of emotion follow him all the way back home to his apartment.

He knew that you were waiting on him because the two of you were supposed to have dinner. You’d gotten to leave at a reasonable time and not, he glanced down at his watch, at nine at night. Aaron had a lot of duties and responsibilities as Unit Chief, but he sometimes wished he didn’t in order to come home at a normal hour.

Aaron saw you sitting on his couch as soon as he unlocked and opened his front door. You smiled sweetly as you looked over at him, no trace of frustration or anger at how late he was getting home.

“Everything go okay with those reports? I know Strauss was giving you a hard time,” You said as you glanced back down at your phone you were holding. When he didn’t answer, he saw you look back up at him again but this time with a frown on your face.

He knew the look he had on his face was giving him away, but he just couldn’t force himself to not feel the way that he was feeling.

You put your phone down on the coffee table and stood up to move in front of him. “Are you okay?”

“That’s usually my line to you,” he attempted a joke, but it never reached his eyes.

You responded with a half-smile. “Bad evening?”

Aaron nodded, not saying anything further. You moved closer as you wrapped your arms around his torso, hugging him tightly. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry, honey,” he said, instantly feeling a little better just from your touch. “I missed dinner. I’m not the one who should be upset.”

You pulled back and rested both hands on each side of his face as he kept his situated on your waist. “Someone told me once that how you feel is an important thing even if you think it isn’t.”

He chuckled a bit. “Using my own words against me, huh?”

You cracked a smile. “It’s okay that you missed dinner. I know you had a rough and busy evening. Don’t worry about me. We can have dinner another night – it’s not a big deal that you couldn’t make it.”

You were looking at him so sincerely and touching him with so much care that he couldn’t help but pull you back in again, eyes closing at the feeling of another hug from you.

“Let’s go to bed,” you mumbled to him. “You look like you could go for an early night.”

Aaron wasn’t sure what he did to deserve someone as good as you – someone who cared for him even on days when he didn’t care for himself. You were kind, understanding, and patient. Sometimes he couldn’t even believe he was lucky enough to be with someone like you.

So while he wasn’t sure of how deserving he really was, he was one hundred percent sure of the fact that he loved you and your lovely self.

[paradiseprincesss]

heheheh request for my baby girl jackson 🎀 jackson hires a call girl because he’s lonely one night and wants to feel alive. however, neither of them expected to get attached and despite him trying to convince her that he’s bad for her (he literally confesses that he’s a killer) he keeps on calling her up again. he loves her but he doesn’t want to be with her, she loves him but she hates how she feels for him type of shit. then when one night he calls her, she’s blocked him anddddddd i’ll leave the ending up to you!

bonus points for angsty.

song - die for you by the weeknd

i would die for you | jackson rippner

yes yes yes, anything for you my looooove! thank you for the wonderful ideas ily.

summary: jackson falls in love with you, a call girl, but he knows that this is bound to end in disaster. you feel the same way, so you two try to keep it strictly sex. however, one thing leads to another and feelings get involved.

warnings: smut, p in v, kissing, swearing, sex work, in general just smut and mature themes, mdni 18+ only

word count: 3.7k

masterlist

jackson reached over to his bedside drawer, rummaging for his wallet as he caught his breath. his hands grabbed at his wallet, and he pulled out ten, crisp, one hundred dollar bills, handing it over to you. pulling up the duvet to cover your bare chest, you offer him a half-hearted smile as you take the cash from him.

"you only owe me eight hundred." you inform him, counting the bills carefully.

"yeah well, you're worth more than that." he says shrugging as he put his pyjama pants on and got up to shower. "thank you for tonight."

"you're welcome, i guess." you say quietly, watching him disappear into his bathroom as you hear his shower running.

you sigh with frustration and get up to get dressed as you collect your things, along with the thousand dollars you'd just made in one hour.

perks of being a call girl, i guess.

you and jackson had an arrangement, but you both knew it was much more than that. it started when one night, he had stumbled across an escorting service's website because he was feeling a little...lonely, though he'd never admit that. he put in a request for their top girl, and that's how he had met you. jackson was stunned when you showed up to his house for the first time — he wasn't expecting someone so beautiful and classy to be working in a business like that.

obviously, the sex was good — great, actually — for both parties. typically, you would go sleep with whoever was paying you, and you'd just act it up. you know, fake it 'till you make it. however, there was no need to fake with jackson rippner. the way he fucked you was delicious. his thick cock had you screaming and moaning for more, clawing at his back and shoulders; marking him up as he left love bites all down your neck and collarbone.

at first, yes, it really was just strictly sex. however, after maybe the third time you guys had hooked up, it was clear this was crossing the threshold of "just transactional."

there was undeniable chemistry between the two of you, and neither of you could deny it. the way he looked at you with his pale, icy, blue eyes as he fucked you sensually, and the way you moaned his name as he made you cum.

yeah, it was definitely more than just fucking, but both of you pretended not to notice it.

you did your part by taking his money and hurriedly leaving out his door as soon as he paid you, and he did his due diligence by...well, that was the problem — he wasn't. he continued to overpay you on a regular basis, compliment you in ways that seemed a little too intimate and personal, and fucked you in a way he hadn't even fucked his previous girlfriends.

don't get me wrong; he knew that he shouldn't have been doing this, but somehow he got flustered and couldn't help himself every time you came around.

he knew about your profession, but you didn't know about his. that's why it would never work — i mean, you were a hooker of all things, and he was a killer for hire.

not exactly a match made in heaven.

as you were about to leave, you thought twice about it. the sudden urge to talk to him about how you felt wasn't going away. so, hesitantly, you sit back down on the edge of his bed in the clothes you came to his house in, and scrolled mindlessly through your phone as you waited for him to finish his shower.

"oh, i thought you left." you heard his voice say as the bathroom door opened, causing you to turn around in slight embarrassment.

"sorry, um..." you say sheepishly, eyes glued to him as water dripped down his chest and a towel hung around his waistline (god, it was so hot).

"is something wrong?" he asked inquisitively, raising a brow at you as you got lost in those impossibly blue eyes of his.

"okay, um," you take a deep breath in, "correct me if i'm wrong, but sometimes i feel like we're — god, this is so embarrassing — um, i feel like there's something here. like, between us."

you feel your face burn as you finally brought up the topic you've been dying to talk to him about, and he sighs as he looks at you with an expression that you couldn't quite read.

"look," he says, coming to sit beside you, "i'm gonna be honest with you - i know that there's something between us, but if feelings are going to get in the way of our arrangement, we can just stop."

"i didn't say we should stop," you correct him, "i just...you know, wanted to see if i was just making it all up in my head? i don't know."

"you're not," he says, shaking his head, "but i think we both know it's wrong."

the conversation suddenly got very serious, very fast. you weren't really sure what to say to this. was he telling you that he had feelings for you? did he not want to see you anymore because you said something? as the thoughts and questions were compiling up in your brain, he brought you back to reality as he spoke to you softly.

"i'm just gonna straight up tell you that i've sorta developed feelings for you," he sighed, "but i think for both of our sakes, we should stop this. as much i don't want to, i really think we should."

"wait, what?" you say, frowning, "like, stop our um, arrangement?"

"i pay you to play pretend," he explained, "i pay you to pretend to want me, but in all actuality, i've started to develop fucking feelings and an...attachment to this fantasy. to the idea of you being mine or some shit."

it was almost scary how level-headed he could be in a moment like this. you wanted to tell him to shut up and just kiss him already, but it seemed that for him, his logic was taking the reigns right now.

"...i just told you i felt the same way?" you say with confusion, and he looks at you, taking in every word you were saying as if he was trying to detect any signs of dishonesty coming from you.

"i'd be saying shit like that too if i was getting paid." he said coldly, suddenly putting his walls up which hurt you a little.

"jackson," you say softly, "it's not about the money."

he doesn't say anything, but he stares at you in a way that makes you want to look away; he was so intimidating.

"maybe at first it was," you ramble on, "but for the last three months, i haven't cared about the money i just— i care about you. i don't know what else to say."

your confession had him speechless along with yourself, as you didn't expect to be telling your client you had basically fallen in love with him tonight.

"i'm no good for you," he says quietly, "i'm only going to hurt you."

"that's just what you think—"

"no, it's not. it's a fact." he cuts you off with a stern tone.

"do you love me?" you suddenly ask, feeling bold as the adrenaline rushed through your veins, but you regretted it as soon as the words left your mouth.

who asks their client that?!

"do i love you?" he asks with a scoff, "what kind of question is that?"

"a yes or no question." you say matter of factly, deciding to finally push the boundaries of whatever this was.

"i..." he tried to get his words out, but he couldn't. he couldn't say that he didn't love you, as much as he tried, because he did love you. "fuck, i— yeah."

you tried to ignore the way your heart started to beat uncontrollably as he said "yeah," and you bit your lip whilst thinking up a response. but before you could muster up the courage to say anything back, he started to talk again.

"don't tell me you don't fucking feel the same—"

"i do!" you say defensively, "of fucking course i do, jackson!"

"but that doesn't mean things can work between us."

"why not?"

"because—"

"because what, jackson?!"

"because i kill people for a living, okay? how the fuck do you think i can afford to pay you thousands of dollars a week?" he exclaimed back as his jaw clenched out of frustration.

that shut you up — you weren't expecting him to confess his love and the fact that he assassinates people for a living to you all at once. you couldn't find the right words to say, as you felt like any and everything you could say would just frustrate him even further.

"i'm gonna go," you say in a whisper, rushing to get up as he sighed from behind you, "maybe i'll see you around."

that night, you went home in silence. there wasn't a lot to say - shit hit the fan in a matter of seconds. the two of you just basically told each other that you'd fallen in love, but that it wasn't ever going to work because of external factors...

like the fact that he killed people for a living and you had sex with strangers to pay the bills.

you two didn't see each other for almost a week, but one warm, summer night on a friday, your phone started to go off. looking down at the caller id, you felt your heart start to race — jackson was calling.

hesitantly, you answer the call. "hello?" you say, wondering as to why he would be calling you not even a week after saying you and him had to "end."

"hey," he replies casually, "can we talk?"

how typical, you thought to yourself. "i thought you didn't want to talk," you say quietly, "you said yourself that this isn't going to work."

"yeah well, i say shit i don't mean all the time." he says cooly, and you rolled your eyes at his response. "come on, babydoll. i know you're thinking of me, too."

"don't play with my feelings," you scoff, "don't tell me you love me then tell me you don't want to be with me, then call me up again."

"first of all, i said we can't be together because of my job, not because i don't care about you," he corrects you, "and i just wanna talk about us. i've been thinking—"

"you said you're no good for me," you interrupt him, "don't send me mixed signals cause—"

"don't fucking start with that," he says, cutting you off in return, "you know i'm not the type to call about shit like this, or really talk about it, either."

"if you're going to be rude, i'm hanging up." you say, but he laughs softly on the other end of the line.

"relax, babydoll," he says softly, "come over, i just wanna talk, s'all. i'll pay you good, too."

"i am not fucking you." you scoff.

"for your time. god, calm down." he says, and you swore you could hear him roll his eyes over the phone.

"you don't need to do that," you sigh, "i'll come over in a bit, kay?"

"nine thirty?" he asks softly, and you agree before hanging up.

when nine thirty rolled around, you were dressed to kill — not literally unlike some people. just because you weren't going to fuck him doesn't mean you couldn't dress the part.

you pulled up outside of his home and you made your way to his doorstep; your high heels clicking on the pavement below you. he'd answered his door within seconds after you'd knocked, and he drank your appearance in.

"fuck, you look sexy," he said, biting his lip for a mere second, "come in."

"hello to you too, jackson." you say with a half smile as you playfully rolled your eyes, following him inside.

the moment you two were alone inside of his house, your hands were all over each other. of course, this wasn't supposed to happen — you were supposed to be "talking," but it seemed that neither of you wanted to face your feelings.

so, sex was the alternative. neither of you had to talk about your feelings or face the truth, and in the end, he got to cum and you got paid. it was a win win...kind of.

and this is how it continued for weeks. he'd call you up even though he swore that "this was the last time" every single time you two fucked, and he promised he was done with you and you promised you were done with him. he was in too deep, he knew he loved you, and you were too far gone — you knew you loved him, too.

he didn't know why he kept denying himself of being with you, and you didn't know why you allowed him to continue to drag the both of you down together. it was an awful thing, really. however, the cycle was never ending until one night, you decided you were through with it.

you decided your heart had gone through enough with him. this was supposed to be your job — you should have never let him string you along like this when you were falling in love. of course, you knew he felt the same way but you also knew he would never act on his feelings — he was too cold for that.

right?

so, you blocked him. you blocked his number and gave him radio silence, not bothering to give any explanation or second chances.

jackson hadn’t even realized you’d blocked him until his calls were not going through to your number, and his texts had turned green. he couldn’t believe you — the audacity!

of course, jackson was, well, jackson, and in typical stalker fashion, he had his ways of knowing absolutely everything about you, down to your exact address.

you were currently on your way home from seeing a client, and as you parked on your driveway, you noticed that the living room lights seemed to be on in your home. that's strange, you thought to yourself, i swear i turned off all the lights before i left.

you unlocked your front door, quietly making your way into your living room before letting out a shrill scream. you placed your hand right over your heart in surprise, "what the fuck," you huffed, "what are you doing in my house?"

jackson looked up at you from your couch with a smirk; he was always so cocky. "did you really think you could just block me, babydoll?" he cooed, getting up to approach you.

as much as you wanted to tell him off for literally breaking into your home, you also knew what he did for a living now. so, you figured maybe it was best not to argue with a potential serial assassin killer — he was trained in getting away with murder, after all.

"i can't keep doing this with you," you say softly, watching him as he towered over you, "i-i know you can, but i can't. it's just— i can't continue with you knowing that i, er, you know..."

"what, babydoll?" he says with a smirk, "come on, you can say it."

"knowing i, ugh, love you."

your words make him smile, and he places a hand on your cheek. "awe," he coos, "do you love me, babydoll? you just can't stop yourself from feeling this way about me? is that it?"

"jackson," you whined, but he pulled you in by your neck, "don't—"

"busy day, huh?" he says lowly, "how many guys did you see today?"

"ow," you whisper, "j-just one, we didn't even kiss—"

his grip on your neck became a little tighter, and he smirked down at you while your hands reached for his in an attempt to get him to let go. "well," he says softly, "consider that the last time you'll ever go out with another guy. fuck your job — you're mine."

gently, he lets go of your neck and decides to grab you by your waist instead, pulling your body flush against his. "what are you talking about?" you ask, resting your hands on his chest.

"can't you see what you do to me?" he whispered against your lips, giving you a gentle kiss before pulling away, "you wan't my love? fine by me, i'll give it to you, babydoll. but i don't share, and i'm never going to let you go."

the silence was eerie and the air was thick was tension, but you decided to throw caution to the wind that night.

"then don't." you whisper, and jackson instantly pulls you into a hungry kiss.

the two of you continue like this for a good while, making out against every wall in your damn house while stumbling up the stairs and desperately trying to get to your bedroom. between sloppy, heated kisses, and hands roaming over each others bodies, you finally make it to your bed (and what a miracle it was was). you straddled him on your bed as you push him onto the mattress softly.

he chuckles lowly, watching you throw your top off and revealing the gorgeous, hidden lace underneath. no matter how many times he'd seen this, he could never get tired of it — ever. his hands reached up to paw at your breasts, giving them a gentle squeeze.

"you're my girl," he sighs, "gonna show you off every fucking day, take you with me everywhere i go, every time i have a...job to do."

you giggle and help him take his suit jacket off, and unbutton his shirt along with slipping off his tie. once the two of you were fully undressed, just in your undergarments, he flipped you over so that your back was pressed into the mattress.

"say you fucking love me — say it." he growls, slipping your panties off in a rush.

"i do," you whimper, "i love you, jackson."

"good fucking girl," he groans, freeing his cock as the pre cum leaked from his pink tip, "who do you belong to?"

as he lined his cock up with your drooling entrance, you sighed, "you, i belong to you."

"that's right, babydoll." he tells you, finally pushing himself into you.

your back instinctively arches at the feeling of his fat cock filling you up fully, and even though he's fucked you on countless occasions, he always stretched your cunt out perfectly. your dripping hole was wrapped around his cock and he didn't wait a single second before setting a soft but deep pace.

"fuck, baby," he groaned, "look at how well you take my cock. it's like you were made to be my little whore."

his degrading (but also, really hot?!) words had you clenching down on him, causing both of you to let out choked moans. "you like it, don't you?" he asked, "you love being mine."

"yes!" you wailed out, "m-mhm! i love it, jackson, i love you!"

"i know you do," he cooed as he continued to push deeper and deeper into your cunt, "don't worry, babydoll, i love you too."

you whine as he continued to fuck you into oblivion, his hands coming to wrap around your leg as he hooked it over his shoulder. the new angle was mind-blowing in every way. so deep, so pleasurably painful.

you were already about to cum — but he didn't show any signs of stopping. "please," you breathlessly moan, "s-so close, ohmygod—"

"already?" he teases, "oh, babydoll. you needed to be fucked by me, didn't you? go on, show me how good my cock makes you feel."

you panted and moaned his name over and over again, and your eyes rolled back into your head. with your eyes closed, you couldn't see it — but he had the biggest, cockiest grin on his face as he watched you lose yourself from the way he was fucking you.

you couldn't find it in yourself to formulate any words as his cock drilled you senselessly, and all you could offer was broken, choked moans and breathily spoken pleas of his name. jackson was high off the way you were reacting to his very touch — he'd never seen you like this before.

usually, you two would have pretty rough sex, but this was something else. sure, it was rough but there was something else lingering in the air; love, perhaps?

yes — love.

"shit," he breathily spoke, "m'gonna cum inside- fuuuck."

as you were busy coming undone on his thick cock, he felt himself slowly tip over the edge, coming closer and closer to his own release. after a few more lazy thrusts, he was pouring himself into you with a low groan.

he pulled out after he was sure he'd filled your pussy up with every last drop of himself, and you could feel his cum dripping out of your spent cunt. he bit his lip at the sight of it — his sticky, warm fluids seeping out of your pretty pussy, mixing with your arousal. it was sending jackson into overdrive.

as he laid down beside you, he watched you closely as you crawled over and snuggled into his side. with a gentle sigh, he wrapped his arm around you tightly, holding you against him tenderly for once. jackson wasn't one to be very loving, like, at all. however, he couldn't deny that with you, he couldn't stop himself.

neither of you could take the pain of going without each other forever, and both of you knew you'd never find someone better because you were right for each other.

the silence in your bedroom was peaceful — not a word was said but all the love was there. neither of you had to say anything aloud for it to be understood.

and though it took some time for jackson to be able to articulate the feelings he was going through, once he did, there was no stopping him. you could never change his mind now — you were his, and he was yours. jackson would kill for you.

you could even say that he would die for you, too.

@girlinterrupted505 @ciriceimpera @jordyn-yeager @thevelvetvampyre @galactict3a

@xanaxiii @nocturnest @bloodandglitter207 @humbuginmybones 

@oceanstem @futurefamousdeadmusician @jonathancraneslittlepet @dolleyednymphette @kpopgirlbtssvt 

@ll4n4 @ilovetoxicfictionalmen @the-buddy-things @ellebelleshelby @wiseyouthinfluencer 

@aprilsfrog05 @minedofmoria @strangeobsessed @5tud10-54r4h @franzine-xii

@stsrfujid

[angellesword]

BAGGAGE | JJK (08)

Summary: Drowning in debt and blood, Jeon Jungkook knows he's better off alone, lest he brings people down with him.

But one drunken night changes everything.

In a blink of an eye, Jungkook found himself drowning not only in debt and blood, but also in dirty diapers and judgmental stares from you, a.k.a his long-lost love and the guardian of the son he didn't even know existed.

Genre and warnings: best friends to lovers, co-parenting, idiots in love, mutual pining, angst, fluff, implied smut, kissing, minor character death, slight getting back together, cursing, blood, stabbing, loan sharks, OC cusses excessively so watch out, Jang Min and OC being intimate, non-graphic smut (barely a smut)

Pairing: dad! Jungkook x adoptive mom!Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

←Previous Chapter (07) | Next Chapter (09) →

****

Present, 2023:

When a nurse approached you, you were close to dozing off on the waiting bench. You didn't understand the nurse initially, your eyes drooping a little as the last forty-eight hours inevitably took a toll on your mind and body.

"You can visit Mr. Jeon now." The nurse said gently, yet it startled you.

"Oh." You abruptly stood up. Your legs wobbled and cramped after long hours of sitting. "Thank you."

"But you can also go home for a while." The nurse frowned at your strained voice. You looked exhausted. The nurse feared your lack of sleep would make you agitated.

The nurse didn't feel like breaking another fight of yours with Jungkook.

"No need." You shook your head and forced down the lump stuck in your throat. "I promise him I'll be here when he wakes up."

"If you wish." The nurse relented and simply led you straight to Jungkook's room. You had to pause for a while, though, steadying your breathing and cupping your trembling hand on the door knob.

It's going to be alright. You cheered yourself. You can stop yourself from beating the shit out of that reckless bastard.

Thankfully, your mini pep talk worked as you spotted Jungkook obediently sitting on the bed, lost in his thoughts, but he immediately snapped his head up the second he heard the door open.

You two briefly stopped in your tracks, eyes meeting and throats constricting.

You were the first to move. You averted your gaze and went beside Jungkook. On the table was the basket of fruits you brought before. You picked up an apple, flopped on the chair beside the hospital bed, and wordlessly peeled the apple.

The silence soaked through the room, leaving Jungkook feeling suffocated as if someone was gripping his throat and ants were crawling his skin.

You finished peeling and cutting the apple into bite size. You put it on a plate and settled it on Jungkook's lap.

Jungkook merely looked at the fruit, throat dry. He forced himself to speak, "I can't eat that."

"Why not?" You narrowed your eyes, feeling your temper heat up. Calm down, you reminded yourself.

Jungkook looked pitifully at the apple. He couldn't remember the last time he ate a fruit or a proper meal. It was always canned crab or a small meat bun.

"The doctor told me not to eat solid foods for a while. It will aggravate my stomach wound."

"Oh, so now you suddenly give a fuck about your health? Didn't you say you want to die, you suicidal freak?"

Jungkook flinched slightly at your sharp voice. You seemed to realize your aggressiveness, prompting you to school your expression to calmness. This is not how it's supposed to go. You thought. You promised yourself you’d talk to Jungkook like a real adult.

"I'm sorry." So you apologized. You rubbed your face in frustration. Your eyes hurt. "I didn't mean to lash out like that."

Even your apology felt rehearsed—like you didn't mean it. However, Jungkook didn't mind your anger. He thought it was warranted, so he sighed softly and said, "It's alright. You're just tired."

Jungkook's eyes zeroed in on you. You were still wearing your clothes from before. "Did you not go home...?"

"No." You shook your head and licked your lower lip. "I promise I'd be here when you wake up, didn't I?"

Something inside Jungkook felt like it was unraveling—like his heartstrings were knotted and unbelievably tight to the point of discomfort. But now, he felt his heartstrings were falling into the right place.

Jungkook couldn't help but hum. He swore he wasn't emotional, but the hospital's white walls, his aching body, and you honoring your promise made him want to cry.

"I was being silly." Jungkook was ashamed. "I-I shouldn't have asked you to stay."

He was sure you had other commitments. You had Soobin to look after. Jungkook wasted your time, and now he was feeling guilty about it.

You probably thought the same way because you scoffed.

"I would have stayed, anyway. I looked for you even when you didn't want to be found, remember?" The implication behind your words was clear. If Jungkook hadn't forgotten to update his emergency contact, you might never have heard from him again. He didn't even want to take your calling card. Jungkook only did so to shut you up.

"I'm sorry."

It was a general apology. You scoffed again.

"I'm sorry for what? You've done a lot of fucked up things, you know."

"I know." Surprisingly, Jungkook did not refute it. The apple on his lap was discoloring; if you look at it, you will realize that the darkening fruit resembles Jungkook’s relationship with you. Leaving it untouched for a long time made its appearance look worse.

You and him had not talked in years. Your relationship was good as severed, so why? Why did a tiny part of Jungkook still hope he could remedy it if he came clean now?

"I lied." Jungkook started. But it was vague. You both knew he lied about many things.

Jungkook expounded, hoping to lessen the hatred in your eyes.

"I didn't do this..." He gestured at his body. "I never wanted to live, but I swear I wasn't trying to kill myself that time."

It worked. Your fiery eyes died down a little. Or maybe not. It was just not directed at Jungkook anymore.

"Who did this to you," you demanded.

Jungkook's heart was turbulent. He was used to seeing your current expression: protective and ready to snarl at anyone who dared mess with him.

Jungkook realized just how well you had treated him back then. It broke his heart knowing that he was the one who broke your trust—that he was why you wouldn't look at him like this anymore (save for special circumstances like this.)

"I don't know." Jungkook lied. Old habits didn't die simply because he wanted to. Jungkook couldn't be completely honest with you, not because he didn't trust you but because he was embarrassed by how his life became this fucked up.

So he lied. He lied because this was the only thing he was good at.

"It was a random guy. I don't think I was his target." Jungkook twisted the truth by saying that the guy who stabbed him mistook him for someone else.

"Son of a bitch!" You were indignant, thinking that Jungkook was a poor victim. You suddenly felt guilty for lashing out and insulting him.

You had always been like this. You’d run your sharp mouth, and only after things had calmed down would you try to salvage the mess you’d made.

"We should call the police! Why didn't you say so earlier? This is un—"

"No need.” He cut you off, feeling the weight of his guilt for lying to you. "I don't want to make this a bigger mess. You know those kind of people. He’d probably come back to mess with me if I snitch about him..."

It was half-lie and half-truth. Jungkook refused to make an enemy of Lee Sung. Besides, no matter how one looked at it, it was Jungkook's fault he was in this predicament. He was the one who owed money to someone he couldn't pay. No one forced him to loan for money. It was all on him.

"But..."

You wanted to protest, but Jungkook acted as if he were in pain. He dramatically cradled his stomach and whined, "I'm tired."

At least the thing he said wasn't a lie. Jungkook was indeed worn out. He thought he could talk to you; a silly part of him even believed that honesty would save him.

But nothing will. Jungkook was utterly useless. He realized now that he couldn't even tell you the truth about him being stabbed. It was humiliating.

You conceded, but for a different reason.

"Alright," you said. You could barely hold on, too. You picked up a blanket to cover Jungkook’s body, and as much as you wanted to say you did it absentmindedly, you knew it wasn't the case.

You meant for Jungkook to feel comfortable while he slept in the hospital bed. It was pathetic, really. Verlaine warned you about this before. You remembered the professor shaking his head when he said, "The problem with you is you're loyal." There was a pause as if he needed to study you from head to toe first. 

"You're loyal to a fault."

The context back then was different from today, but the gist was the same: your forgiving heart was your downfall. Sometimes, you choose to set aside your pain whenever you see the people around you in pain.

"I'll be back later." You tried to ignore Verlaine’s opinion. You were headed to the door. "We still have a lot to talk about."

You barely talked. You had yet to tell things about Soobin. Surprisingly, Jungkook did not react violently. He nodded his head in concession.

"But you need to go home." Jungkook gripped the blanket, desperately hoping he could still feel the warmth of your hand there.

He couldn't.

"Let's talk soon. When we're not tired."

Your hand lingered on the door knob. You had a bad feeling. You didn't want to leave.

But...

"Okay." You yielded, too.

The door opened and clamped shut after that. Jungkook waited 10–-30 minutes to make sure you left before he forced himself to stand and leave everything behind.

****

Considering that you were sleep-deprived, you knew it was unsafe to drive. You had no choice but to call your boyfriend’s assistant to bring you home.

“Hello~~” The assistant, Lee Sung, greeted you like his usual enthusiastic self.

You merely raised your brow as you settled on the back seat. You closed your eyes and said, “How’s Soobin? Jang Min?”

You broke your promise to little Soobin. Your son probably missed you like crazy—This was the thing about Soobin; he had never been separated from you for more than a day as he suffered from separation anxiety. Luckily, Lee Sung brushed off your worry.

“Soobin-ah is sleeping. He never once called for you since he’s busy playing with the boss. Speaking of, should I drive you to the boss’ house? Soobin-ah is there.”

Lee Sung’s boss was naturally your boyfriend, Jang Min. You had been dating for a year now. You never really left Soobin to Jang Min, save for emergencies like this. Thankfully, Soobin seemed to like staying with Jang Min.

“Yes,” you answered Lee Sung, even though you knew the answer should be obvious already. “I’ll stay at Jang Min’s tonight.”

Lee Sung’s jaw tensed up, but he didn’t say anything. He just stepped on the gas harder. You didn’t mind; you were itching to shower and see Soobin, too.

The drive to Jang Min’s house was pretty short. You silently hopped out of the car. Your boyfriend was already waiting at the front door, cigarette in hand.

“Hi.” Jang Min extinguished the cigarette stick and threw it away. Normally, you snorted and refused to embrace your boyfriend, not when he smelled like smoke. However, you couldn’t care less now. Your whole body ached for comfort, and Jang Min’s warm chest was the perfect relief.

“Hello, Cолнышко мо.” Jang Min kissed the top of your head, and you melted. You liked this. You liked it when Jang Min called you “my little sun” in his native language. He was half Russian and half Korean. Jang Min said that endearment suited you best: “You brighten my day like the sun.” Jang Min used to say as he kissed you silly.

“Did Soobin give you trouble?” Unlikely, but you still asked.

“No.” Jang Min kissed you again. “He just slept a lot. He misses you.”

“Really,” you snorted. “Lee Sung-ssi said Soobin barely talked about me.”

“Not true. You know your son loves you a lot. As I do.”

Your eyes fluttered shut when Jang Min kissed you for the third time; his big hands roamed around your body.

“Wait.” you bit your boyfriend’s lips to get him to stop. Jang Min just moaned and continued kissing you.

You sighed between kisses. You were forced to push your boyfriend’s chest. “Stop. I’ve got to see Soobin first.” You felt guilty and offered another peck to Jang Min’s lips. “And shower. I need to shower so badly.”

Jang Min looked a little disappointed, but his eyes were indulgent. He let go of you but not before squeezing your ass, “I missed you. Let’s see Soobin first, then I’ll help you bathe.”

Like Lee Sung said, Soobin was sleeping, so you didn’t dare disturb him. You watched your son sleep for a few minutes before taking up Jang Min’s offer to help you clean yourself up. Thankfully, Jang Min already ran you a bath while you were in Soobin’s room. You stripped off your clothes and got into the tub at once.

“Relax,” Jang Min whispered as he kissed your exposed shoulder blades. You shuddered but calmed down when Jang Min started lathering shampoo into your hair and massaging it.

Good. This feels so good.

Jang Min did everything for you—he washed your hair and massaged your sore body.

“Are you doing good?” Jang Min was filthy rich. His tub could fit four people at once. He couldn’t help but join your bath; his wet body engulfed you into a tight embrace.

“Hmm,” you answered simply. You rested your head on Jang Min’s chest, stiff when you felt your boyfriend’s cock on the soft plush of your ass. You liked Jang Min; you really did. But you weren’t in the mood for anything physical tonight.

Jang Min felt it, too. He stopped kissing your trembling skin.

“Are you okay?”

It was a simple question that had a complicated answer, but you hadn’t developed a habit of lying. Your worn-out state also made you more vulnerable; you had no filter when you responded to your boyfriend.

“No.” You splashed water on your face to feel more alive. “I’m worried about him.”

“Jungkook?” Jang Min asked mildly but repeatedly trailed possessive kisses on your shoulders.

“Yeah. Did you know he’s been stabbed?”

“Stabbed.” The word rolled off Jang Min’s tongue. You couldn’t see his expression as Jang Min settled behind you, but you still elaborated on Jungkook's story.

“Jungkook…Jeon Jungkook, is it?”

“Yes.” You clicked your tongue, feeling like your boyfriend was focusing on the wrong thing. You had said many things, but Jang Min could only repeat your ex-best friend’s name.

“I see.” Jang Min’s fingers trailed your upper body, cupping your boobs. “You said he was your best friend and Soobin’s father. Do you wish to reconcile with him, or do you merely want to inform him that you take care of his biological son?”

This was an uncharted territory for you two. You only mentioned to Jang Min that you were meeting with Jungkook, but you hadn’t told him anything more. Frankly, you didn’t even know what you wanted Jungkook to do, and maybe that was why you started off on the wrong foot. You barged into Jungkook’s life after years of no contact. Lee Sung actually helped you locate Jungkook, and you disregarded your rationality and just went straight to Incheon to see Jungkook.

“I don’t know what to do. I just know I am worried about him.” Because even though Jungkook didn’t intend to kill himself, someone else might do so. Jungkook said it himself—he didn’t have any will to live. What if, one day, he just decided to stop thriving?

“Hmm,” Jang Min’s eyes were dark. “Your departed sister wished for Jeon Jungkook-ssi to meet up with Soobin, right? Why don’t you talk to Jungkook-ssi again tomorrow? See what he thinks about co-parenting.”

You almost choked on your spit upon hearing that. While that was the most obvious thing to do, you had to admit that you had never thought about it. You had never thought about sharing Soobin with anyone else—especially not with someone like Jungkook.

You felt silly now. You were overtaken by your emotions and only focused on telling Jungkook he had a son. Looking back, you realize you did such a thing to spite Jungkook. You couldn’t lie; it was satisfying to see him lose his mind, knowing that his betrayal had consequences that could be felt until now.

A baggage.

Your heart trembled, realization dawning on you. You wanted to use Soobin to hurt Jungkook, but your fragile heart couldn’t take it if Jungkook really saw your little Soobin as baggage.

“I’m scared, Min-ah,” you admitted. You tried to focus on feeling Jang Min’s hands touching every part of your body. It didn’t work. Your heart was inconsolable.

“Don’t be.” Jang Min bit your earlobe. “I am here if he doesn’t want Soobin.”

You balled your hands into fists. Right. Soobin had you and your boyfriend. But Jang Min laid some options for the disoriented you. Jang Min was so considerate that he opened up about letting Jungkook stay with you and Soobin if the situation called for it.

You were surprised. You tilted your head to see Jang Min’s expression. No trace of humor could be seen on his face, though.

“Are you serious?” Your mouth parted wide 

Jang Min shrugged off, “Why not? He’s Soobin’s father.”

“Ah, yes?” You arched a brow. “But cohabiting with him? Did you miss the part when I told you I was in love with him?”

“Are you in love with him now?” Jang Min shot back, his hand spreading your folds.

You moaned. You were tired, but you couldn’t help but roll your hips against Jang Min’s thighs.

“N-No,” you answered at once. You were turned on. Jang Min trusting you was hot. 

“Then I don’t see a problem with it.” Jang Min's hand moved with a slow but confident caress, sending a wave of ecstasy to your body. “You are still mine.”

You completely let your guard down; all thoughts of Jungkook were set aside as you drowned with the pleasure Jang Min willingly made you feel.

It was a long, passionate night for you, but come morning, you were again plagued by the thought of your ex-best friend. Jang Min couldn’t bear seeing you distressed, so he let you go and promised you that he’d look after Soobin.

“Thank you.” You bid your boyfriend goodbye and then went straight to the hospital. To your surprise (and anger), you had come to learn that Jungkook, that fucking bastard, ran away again.

**** ←Previous Chapter (07) | Next Chapter (09) → Hi! This is an ongoing fic and I just write this for fun. I know I am the author, but I still have no idea how this story will progress. There MIGHT be more upsetting tags in the next chapters, so if you are not up for surprises and major tags, please, please--drop this fic now. And as usual, if you have tags suggestions, please don't hesitate to reach out to me.

You can point out obvious errors in the chapter too because this is not beta-read.

What do we think about this chapter? I rushed writing this today! I still have work and a meeting in an hour, so I'll see you guys soon! Thank you!

[muzansfangs]

Blue jeans.

Starring: Muzan Kibutsuji x f!reader;

Format: one-shot;

Warnings: nsfw, modern au, age gap, reader is twenty-one, sugar daddy dynamics, car sex, semi-public sex, vaginal sex, oral sex (Muzan receiving), use of alcohol, cigarettes, vaginal fingering, size kink;

Plot: You were his addiction. Young, beautiful and full of life, you made him forget about his problems for hours, whenever you met. The day you two had crossed paths for the first time, he thought it was not going to be anything more than a simple one-night stand. “No feelings involved” he had told you. Then, why did he miss you whenever you left?

Track: Blue jeans — Lana del Rey "You were sorta punk rock, I grew up on hip hop, but you fit me better than my favorite sweater".

MASTERLIST FOR THE EVENT.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

He enjoyed your presence. As he now stared at your smooth, naked back facing him on his bed, he ran one hand through his curly, dark hair and sighed. He was not someone who grew attached to people. Feelings were foreign to him. Maybe he never learned how to love, or maybe love was never instilled into his heart. You, however, you had disrupted his whole life.

He blamed it on your laughter, or on the way your eyes glistened whenever you talked about something you liked. You were so innocent, at times. He loved the way your eyes widened and you hummed in delight, whenever he made you try some exotic dish you did not even know the existence of, until the menu was kindly handed to you by the gloved hand of a waiter.

He did not mind spoiling you.

You were young, your delicate features were a blessing to him. You were the sugar he needed in his sour life.

Glancing at your sleeping frame one last time, he reached his hand towards the nightstand, grasping his lighter and his cigarette pack. Another habit of his not even you could help him get rid of. He opened it absent-mindedly, only to realize it was the last one. Perhaps, it was truly time for a change then.

This cigarette was his last one. And you, you were the last woman he would have ever let step into his life. It was time to settle down, after all. He had spent too many nights in random downtown bars, hooking up with strangers he never remembered the name of, only to search for something he never found: warmth.

You were not supposed to be different. You were supposed to he as shallow as the others, but you were not.

It happened eight months ago. Chatting with your friends, drink in hand, you had caught his plum red eyes that infamous saturday night. Ignoring his presence was impossible. A man like him was too charismatic not to draw attention. The way you had tried to resist him, though, that had made him crave you. He stared at you from his stool, shooting captivating glances at you, trying to make you understand that he was demanding your attention. Defiantly, you barely locked eyes with him, almost making him lose his patience. In other circumstances, he would have probably picked someone else to give him the proper attention he demanded, but there was something about you that made his blood boil.

He wanted you that night.

When you suddenly stood up and slided onto the stool next to his one, still pretending not to see him, he chuckled. You were a delicacy, a rosebud in a nest of thorns ready to wound him, but he was old enough to know how to play his cards right.

“A double whisky, please” you asked the bartender, but Muzan interjected in your conversation.

“It’s on me” he smoothly said, half-lidded eyes staring at the liquid into his own glass.

It irked you. Did he just buy you a drink?

“Yeah, it’s on him” you replied sassily then, averting your eyes from the barman to look at him. He was handsome, elegant, older than you. His cologne pierced your nostrils as you leaned slightly closer to him to search for his eyes, the red eyes he had made sure you would have never been able to shake off of your mind ever again.

“Apparently, you’ve finally got the hint” Muzan lowly said, twirling the rum into the crystal glass before drinking it down in one gulp and gently settling it back onto the counter.

You grinned and propped your elbow onto the marble green surface in front of you, your chin rested on the palm of your hand as you watched the barman grasp a bottle to fill your glass. It was thrilling the way he felt so self-assured, his presence alone was enough to make your head spin.

“Don’t flatter yourself. I was just thirsty” you said, earning a chuckle from him.

“You could have asked the barmar to refill your glass from the table” he pointed out, shifting his position to turn his body around and face you properly.

Your cheeks flushed up and, when the glass of whisky was slided towards you, you were quick to grasp it to focus on something else that was not him. You failed so effortlessly though.

“What is it that you want?” you asked him eventually, raising your glass towards your mouth and biting down on the rim softly, before taking a sip of the liquor. It burned down your throat, just like his eyes burned on your skin.

Muzan did not miss his chance and let his eyes travel up and down your small frame. You were perfect, perfect for what he had in mind. Smaller than him, delicate and bold. Being a CEO took away his energy, he needed a distraction and you were a good one. Too precious not to ruin.

He leaned forward, his hot breath fanning your earlobe as he grinned and moistened his upper lip thoughtfully. It was clear that you were affected by his actions. He could see the way your breath hitched and the way your grip on the glass tightened significantly as he spoke “Frankly, just your mouth around my cock” he whispered only for you to hear.

Your eyes widened and you inhaled sharply, as his words sank in. He had no filters and you could not blame him for it. Why? It was probably the force of habit. A man like him could snap his fingers and obtain what he wanted right away. The thrill of doing such a dirty, lewd thing to a stranger, to a man like him, someone you would have probably never met again was tickling your most dark fantasies.

It took you several seconds to make up your mind. You sighed, gently setting your drink on the counter and glanced at your friends from above your shoulder. They were staring at you curiously, some of them probably wondering what you were about to do in excitement and some of them were honestly analyzing the scene with wary eyes. Indeed, the latter ones were the wisest.

“I have a dignity” you pointed out, darting your eyes back on Muzan.

“Growning up, you’ll find out there are things far way more valuable in life than what other people may think of you” he promptly replied, straightening his necktie casually. He seemed tired and not the kind of man who wanted to hurt you. He was not going to coax you into giving yourself away, he just hoped you would say him ‘yes’.

And you did.

As you two stumbled out of the bar fifteen minutes later, you knew you were probably going to either regret it for your whole life, or look back at it as an exciting adventure you had had with an older man on a boring night. He had told you his name was Muzan Kibutsuji. He had whispered it over your lips, right before pinning you against his car door.

His lips captured yours in a fervent kiss, holding your face with both of his huge hands, as his tongue entered your mouth with expertise and elicited a soft series of moans from your throat. It was not just his experience that blew your mind: it was him. It was clear as he unbuckled his belt, in the privacy of his car, and tangled his fingers through your hair.

He locked eyes with you, searching for the slightest sting of fear. He would have stopped immediately, if he had spotted it. Yet, there was just the hunger of anticipation in those glimmering eyes of yours and he firmly but carefully pushed your head down towards his crotch. With your eyes closed, you did your best to pleasure him. Your tongue twirled around the tip, right over the sensitive spot, making him groan softly in pleasure.

It was exactly what he needed. As you began to suck him off, you were slowly making his problems fade away and stress flow right into your warmth mouth. You almost gagged as he bucked his hips up in pleasure and he lolled his head back into the leather headrest, exhaling through his nostrils. When you were sure he was just going to let you finish him off like that, he surprised you.

“Stop” he breathed out, shifting on his seat to grasp the wallet from his pocket.

As he pulled out a condom from it and ripped it open with his teeth, you stared at him in both excitement and fear. Was he going to simply take you without a proper foreplay? You were about to point it out, when he grasped your jaw and planted a tender, passionate kiss on your lips to silence you.

“I am nothing like those dogs you are used to. I know how to properly stretch out a woman” he whispered, almost offended that you had thought so low of him.

“I didn’t—” you tried to apologize, but he simply scoffed and made the words die on your tongue as he pushed the thin fabric of your panties to the side and began to draw smooth figures eight on your bundle of nerves.

You moaned, blushing faintly in the dark car as you finally met a man who knew how to touch you properly. What did you expect? He was twice your years, a man of class, of power. He had told you himself he was not like the guys you were used to.

“You are beautiful, by the way” he whispered lowly, watching the way you arched your back as he thought you were wet enough to take another step. You hummed, squeezing your eyed shut as you adjusted yourself to his thick fingers. It was too much, it was overwhelming, and you could not believe what was truly happening.

He was so skilled that you had almost forgotten you were in a car, in a desert parking lot. You wanted him, you wanted him more than that, therefore you opened your eyes and gripped his wrist gently as a sign for him to stop his ministrations. You were ready for him. For all of him.

And as you straddled his lap, allowing him to guide your hips down to perfectly sink onto him, you knew things would have never been the same again. The thing was that, despite the rather brute way he had told you what he wanted from you, he did not just fuck you that night. The way his mouth hovered over yours, the way he held you so close to him, as if he was afraid you were going to slip away from him grasp, made feel something more.

There was loneliness in that passion, a void that needed to be filled.

Bouncing on his lap, you tugged at his hair, your thighs trembling as his shaft kissed your cervix and his mouth kissed the exposed skin of your neck. He had finally found it: the warmth of a young heart.

Now, putting his cigarette out on the silver ashtray he keeps on his nightstand, he grinned and rolled on his side. Resting his cheek on the pillow, he watched you. He never grew tired in doing it. You were a piece of art from a private collection, a gem. His fingertips glided down your naked back, trailing up towards the spine and grazing over the shoulderblades. You were his. You were his and no one else’s.

You hummed at the feeling, gently lifting your head to glance up at him. Your sleepy eyes always got him and, although he forced himself not to smile, you could swear his upper lip twitched.

“Hey…” you whispered softly, half-lidded eyes staring at him in adoration.

He did not say a word, he simply stroked your hair as if he wanted to lull you back to sleep. Yet, you had learned to read him and his poker face. There was something on the tip of his tongue.

“What is it?” you inquired, not moving an inch but keeping your eyes locked with his red ones.

“Nothing”.

“Liar. I know that look on your face. You want to ask me something. — you replied, sitting up and letting the silky blankets pool down over your waist — Speak up, Kibutsuji” you invited him to talk, poking his biceps with your index.

He loathed your childish ways to make him give up and talk, but he was almost defenseless in front of them. You were his greatest weakness.

“Actually, I got no questions for you. It’s just that… Well, I’m falling for you, I guess” he confessed.

Never in his life he had pulled down his mask like that. However, a love confession from him was overdued. He spoke his mind no matter what. He was not scared of his feelings for you. It was just that, for the first time ever, he did not want to ruin you, as he thought he wanted the night you two met.

You stared at him with your lips slightly parted, your cheeks heating up, as you scooted closer to him and snuggled into his chest. His chest, where you could hear his steady heartbeat, was your favore place to sleep. It comforted you.

“I love you too, Muzan” you mumbled, closing your eyes as you felt his arm flex and wrap you up into a tight embrace. There was no escape.

Maybe it was a trap, maybe it was the highway to paradise. You did not know for how long it would have lasted. All you knew was what you felt and, in that very moment, you wanted him as much as he wanted you.

Until you filled the void in his heart. Until it broke your bones. Until it hurt.

Tags: @mrskokushibo @doumadono @yazzzmints @tired-writer04 I dedicate this piece to you!❤️

[knightfcll]

nightcap

welt x reader, 1.6k

note: 🤪 im like not even caught up but i love this gilf tew much okay bye. My first reader fic on da blog, blease be nice 2 me <3

content notes: ❗️❗️🔞🔞🔞❗️❗️ explicit smut here, minors do NOT interact!!! Reader is gender neutral, no specific references to pronouns/body type/genitalia for reader, brief oral sex, penetrative sex, reader calls welt “mr yang” a lot 🥴

The Astral Express is quiet. You've finally returned after another long and difficult journey on another strange, new planet. Everyone else has retired to their own rooms for a well deserved rest, but you still wander the halls. Mr. Yang had stayed behind for this assignment and to say that you felt his absence was an understatement.

You had lasted all of five minutes in your own bed before throwing off the covers and deciding to seek him out. Without the exhaustion of adventure weighing him down, he's likely still awake, perhaps poring over a newspaper from your latest excursion. You make sure to bring one back for him if he's not there; he says it's so he can get a better idea of what effect the Stellaron's had on the planet, but you see how quickly he turns to the comic strips. You'll catch him doodling the characters later, sometimes changing their features, doing two and three different sketches that he thinks you won't see.

You're only half right. You find him almost exactly as you'd imagined when you slip into his room, except his brows are furrowed. He's tapping a pencil against the paper.

“Need any help, Mr. Yang?”

He looks at you briefly before returning to his crossword puzzle. "Evening. And yes."

You smile and saunter towards him, crawling onto the bed eagerly. He opens his arms without prompting, allowing you to settle into his lap with your back to his chest. He has most of it filled out already, with only the bottom left grid glaringly empty. Mr. Yang is one of the smartest people, which is why you like to tease him when he has to ask you for help with these things, but he's also the most mature, which accounts for the good natured chuckle you typically get in response.

"What's the clue?"

"Eight letters. 'Hot term for a recent admirer.'"

You make a show of scrunching up your face and delicately take the pencil from him. Your handwriting isn't quite as neat as his, but finds a certain charm in it.

Welt hums appreciatively. "'New flame.' I think you could be right."

You beam. "Bested by the newcomer, Mr. Yang. You'll have to ask me to explain strange things out in the wild next time we leave the Express."

He chuckles. He thinks it's cute when you try to tease him like this; you're all bark and no bite, really. You fold as soon as he gets his hands on you.

Like right now, as his fingers ghost over your thigh. You lean into it as much as you can, but he's so good at holding back. It's the sweet sting of having someone like Welt for a lover: a wealth of experience to keep you satisfied for hours on end, but the patience and precision needed to keep you just on edge until he thinks you're ready.

"Did you need something?" He says it so casually, like he doesn't know your skin is burning underneath him.

You turn your head to look at him. It's there again, that little bit of sharpness in his gaze that seems to go right through you. He's already thinking about all the ways he can unmake you.

"Just you," you say, waiting the precious few moments it takes for the spark to ignite.

Welt kisses you, softly at first. His hands roam over your thighs, just ghosting underneath your sleep shorts. You whine the third time he does it, unable to handle the loss of his touch. He pulls away.

“Patience.”

You pout. He notices everything. “I’m not impatient.”

He humphs in disbelief. “Don’t make a sound until I tell you to.”

Any other night, you might protest his rigidity. Be the brat he likes you to be, until you’re a sobbing mess in hands, begging him to just fuck you and stop teasing. Tonight, however, you’re inclined towards obedience. You hush up and wait the agonizing few moments that he waits, watching for any sign of defiance. Satisfied, he kisses you again, hungrier this time, sliding his tongue over yours. You hold back a moan when he digs his fingers into your thighs.

Welt pushes you down. He trails his lips down your body, over your chest, your sensitive nipples. He halts just below your belly button, kissing the skin lightly while he pulls down your shorts. You shiver once your exposed to the cool air.

Anticipation burns inside you when he pulls your leg up and over his shoulder. He slowly teases your entrance with his tongue, giving it slow, featherlight licks that he soon follows up with a finger.

“Mr. Yang,” you say, unable to resist calling out as he speeds up.

He doesn’t respond, choosing to punish you instead by letting up. He knows it’s agony, feeling his warm breath on you where you need him most.

It’s too much. You give up on obedience and let desperation take hold as you grab at welt’s shoulders and pull him in to kiss you. Your taste lingers on his tongue. “Mr. Yang, please…“

Welt palms at your ass. It’s a nice reminder that he’s far more affected by you than he typically comes off. Although his words are often measured and his tone even, the way he touches you is nothing short of ravenous.

“Tell me what you need, sweetheart.”

You’re on the brink of tears now. Your legs are locked around his hips, his fingers are rubbing and pinching your nipple. He knows, but he likes to make you say it. “Mr. Yang, please, please,”

He doesn’t budge. You reach for the drawstring on his pants yourself, but he grabs your hand and brings it to his mouth instead. “You can speak, can’t you? Use your words.”

You watch as he pulls your finger into his mouth, sucking on it lightly. He’ll keep going, ignoring your pleas while he toys with you long past the rising of the sun. He’s done it before.

You draw a shaky breath.

“Mr. Yang, I need you inside me.”

You wait for his response. He almost looks bored, that half-awake look he gets when he’s quizzing you on the values of each Aeon with hands roaming across your chest.

He kisses your palm. “Keep going.”

“Welt,” his given name falls from your lips, a strained whisper that sets Welt on edge, “please fuck me, I can’t take it anymore, please.“

Welt lets go of your hand. He disentangles himself from you fully, ignoring your desperate whines. You hear his pants fall to the floor and then he’s hovering over you again, sliding a hand under your shoulder.

“Turn around.”

You hear him, but you’re too distracted by the sight of his weeping cock to really pay attention. He sighs and gently lifts you, maneuvering you so you’re on your hands and knees with your back to him.

Tears of relief fall down your face when Welt drapes himself over your back. You feel him lining himself up with your entrance. You shudder when he finally enters you. His grip on your waist tightens. He lets his cock stay sheathed in you for an agonizing moment before he pulls out and starts to set a rhythm. The slow friction stirs something in Welt; he lets go of your waist and covers your hand with his own. He curses above you and moves in closer, his breath warm against the shell of your ear.

“I want to hear you. Please,” Welt gasps. It makes your heart skip.

You call out to him, moaning his name in a quiet voice that gets louder and louder as his thrusts quicken. Your words become more frantic, endless declarations of how much you need him interrupted by broken sobs of pleasure. Welt speaks your name, too, in between ragged breaths and the rapid stuttering of his hips, curses falling from his lips in a constant prayer.

“Mr. Yang,” you say, because you know how his breathing stops when you call him that, just like the first time it did when he had you on your knees in his bedroom, “Mr. Yang, I love you.”

Welt’s final thread of composure snaps. He hooks his arm around your throat and buried his face in your neck. His hips slap against you harder than before, but he still has the presence of mind to reach down and tease you one last time to put you over the edge. Waves of ecstasy roll through as you give one final, strangled shout.

Welt follows soon after, his thrusts becoming increasingly erratic until he buries himself to the hilt and groans deep into your skin. You both slump forward, breathing heavily. He kisses your neck sloppily before finally pulling out with a sigh. He pulls you once to get you to clean up, but you don’t budge, a telltale look of bliss on your face. He gives up and leaves you, returning with clean cloths to wipe you down. You watch him from the corner of your eye as he flips you onto your back and takes care of you.

“Thanks, Welt.”

He smiles softly, but doesn’t look at you, focused on his task. He climbs back into the bed once he’s done, flat on his back. You lean over and rest your head on his chest.

Exhaustion weighs you down suddenly. Even though you left the mission early to see Welt, the trip back to the express hadn’t been easy. It feels like you’ll drift off into sleep as soon as you close your eyes. So you do, but not before reaching up to kiss Welt just under his chin.

[futbol16]

Make The First Move  • Fridolina Rolfö

Requests: the things i would do for a part 2 (or more:)) for princess charming/rölfö 

pls pls plscan we get a part 2 to princess charming?

Please let there be a part two. 

Word count: 3k

The long awaited part 2 to Princess Charming. I hope it was worth the wait :)

It’s not often that Fridolina stays up late. She almost never does. She valued her sleep too much to be awake for longer than necessary and everyone knew this. Which is why it surprises not only Mapi but also Magda, who’s three countries away from her, when they both get separate texts at 1am. 

Truthfully neither of her teammates should’ve been awake at this hour of the night either, but as the blondes’ eyes scan over the text, they think this is more important than getting their full eight hours of sleep. 

‘When did you know you were gay?’

Mapi’s first reaction is to grin, she grins so hard her lips almost split. She knows exactly why the Swede was asking such questions, or more so, who made her question it all.

Magda eyes the text with curiosity though, her brows furrowed together and her mouth hanging slightly agape. Was this real?

Meanwhile, Frido stares at her contacts list in nervousness as she bites at her nails, anxiously waiting for an answer from one of the two. She almost drops her phone on her face when it buzzes with notifications but she’s quick to reach for the device again. 

She gets two very different answers and she resists from rolling her eyes at one of them, only for the purpose of this actually being a serious topic for her.

‘I wasn’t completely sure until I met Pernille, but I knew the moment I looked into her eyes. Why, has anything happened?’ read the first from her captain and then her eyes moved lower to Mapi’s text.

‘Always. Girls are hot as fuck, respectfully. You fancy the German?’ her phone buzzes again.

‘Y/N Y/L/N is who I was referring to’ this time she doesn’t hold back the eye roll, though just a moment later she inhales sharply as she pictures your cocky smile in front of her. The blush that rises to her cheeks is inevitable and Fridolina pulls a face at her reaction, unsure how to digest her feelings. 

With a frustrated sigh the blonde drops her phone onto her nightstand face down and with another sigh she pulls the covers higher up her body. Frido allows herself to relax, ready to finally succumb to sleep. That doesn’t happen though, because she can’t let her mind rest. Or rather, her mind doesn’t allow her to rest. Her thoughts force her to stay awake for the next hour until exhaustion takes over her and her eyelids finally stay shut. 

The following days pass by in a similar manner; the blonde’s head in the clouds and her nails ruined from her constantly biting them. After Mapi’s initial text message, Frido assumed she would receive nothing but teasing remarks from the defender. And she did, Mapi León never one to disappoint in that area. However, she was pleasantly surprised when her friend decided to help her out, to help her figure out her feelings and her sexuality.

It was a big thing. The whole sexuality question. She had never questioned that part of herself before, always assuming that just like it was pictured in the films she grew up watching, she would have her blonde prince charming walk into her life one day and eventually there would be a ‘happily ever after’. 

It was crazy to think that all it took was one person for Fridolina to change her mind. Truthfully, it took one smile, one flash of your dazzling smile for her to pause for a moment and think about why there were butterflies in her stomach. Then it took her five days to come to terms with the possibility that you might’ve been her gay awakening. And on that same day, she realized that on top of all of that, she definitely had a thing for you. 

Some kind of thing. That’s all she could call it for now because it was so new to her, feeling like this towards a girl when she had never for a second questioned her sexuality in any way before.

Slowly though, Mapi helped her to understand these foreign feelings. Fridolina, in a weird way, was incredibly thankful for having so many gay teammates because they were all there for her, ready to answer any questions she had, ready to tell her about their own stories of ‘gay awakenings’. 

By the end of the month, she was comfortable enough with the knowledge that she wasn’t heterosexual and she allowed her friends’ teasing to resume. 

“So? Are you finally going to tell me who caused you to have your first ever gay panic?” Magda raised an eyebrow at her national teammate who couldn’t help but smile back at the screen of her phone.

“I don’t know” 

“What do you mean you don’t know?” the captain’s voice cracked through the phone’s speakers. Fridolina bit back a smile, her mind already elsewhere as she thinks back to the night of that match against Bayern. The way you smirked at her after your goal, how your eyes sparkled in a playful way as she fell on you, hips flush together. 

‘Easy there, pretty girl’ your words echo in her head, your voice makes her go crazy in ways she didn’t think possible but she secretly likes the feeling.

“You’re thinking about her, aren’t you?” Magda’s voice snaps her out of her daydreaming and her head snaps back towards the screen to find her captain smirking at her. Clearly, the deep blush coating her cheeks and the prolonged silence from her end of the call didn’t go unnoticed by the Chelsea captain. 

A sheepish look spreads across Frido’s face and she shrugs lightly, her smile confirming Magda’s question. 

“Come on tell me about herrr!” the excited whine makes both of them snicker before the taller of the two lets out a sigh, thoughts again occupied by you.

“She plays for Bayern Munich. And she’s strong, very strong - but all of them are, it’s like a Bayern thing - anyway. She looks so good in red. She’s like the next Alex Popp-” she’s cut off by a gasp, followed with a smack.

“Y/N Y/L/N?! SHE’S THE ONE?!” Magda exclaims loudly, gaining Pernille’s attention who’s sat a few feet away from her in the living room. Fridolina’s eyes widen, her brows furrowing in confusion.

“How did you-”

“Oh come on Frido, she's the top scorer in the Bundesliga and all of the German news is about her. ‘Y/N Y/L/N is the successor of German legend Alex Popp’. How do you not know?” the Swede recites the latest news article she’s seen and Pernille chuckles behind her girlfriend. 

“That just makes it sound like she’s Popp’s daughter” Frido pulls a face, once again. Magda now looks at her girlfriend and the two share a knowing look as she attempts to divert the topic of the conversation.

“Good choice though, very good taste” Pernille comments, now standing beside Magda as she rests an arm around her shoulders. Magda’s mouth falls open in mock hurt but the Dane is quick to ease her outburst. “What? I’m just saying she could have liked some weird hippie or something - I don’t know - as her first girl crush. Y/N’s a great choice.” 

“Yeah, I gotta give that to you” 

“Guys? I’m still here” Fridolina jokes but the two instead chuckle at her pink cheeks.

“We know, we’re talking about you in your presence.”  Magda shrugs cheekily before realization dawns on her and she grins at her Swedish teammate. “But this is perfect actually, you’ll get to see her soon!” 

“What are you talking about?” Fridolina almost drops the device in her hands, a sudden nervousness overcoming her senses.

“You guys have a friendly against the Germans this international break” Pernille informs her, seemingly knowing her schedule better than the Swede does. The couple eye their friend with slight concern as her face pales and brightens a shade of red at the same time. 

“Oh shit” 

Sure enough, just a week later Frido finds herself walking out behind her national teammates, clad in her yellow kit. She’s anxious as she subtly fidgets with the end of her shirt, yet as she turns her head to glance at your face, she knows it isn’t the game she’s nervous about. 

The match is pretty intense with both teams in their best forms but Germany manage to have more shots on goal than the Scandinavians. Unsurprisingly, it is you who scores the first goal of the game and when you celebrate you make sure to run past Fridolina, a smirk resting on your face as you raise an eyebrow in her direction. Frido can’t find it in herself to get upset at your antics, instead the tips of her ears redden and she tries to conceal the small smile on her face. 

It’s only when her eyes connect with her captain’s does she put on her game face again. She’d have time to admire you after the match. 

As much as the tall blonde tries to focus on the task at hand, it becomes apparent very quickly that she’s struggling. Just like last time, her gaze never wanders from you. It’s like you have some pull on her and more often than not the blonde has to snap back to reality after staring at you for just a bit too long. Her distraction doesn’t show in her play however, which she is incredibly thankful for but it isn’t enough for Sweden to equalize. 

The team clad in yellow does get one last chance to equalize before the final whistle would be blown and it’s in the form of a corner kick. Both teams crowd in the penalty box area and Merle Frohms can just barely see through the mass of footballers. 

The pull you seemed to have on Frido is now working in the opposite direction as you find yourself standing directly behind the blonde. It’s a tight space with both her and your own teammates pushing to get closer to one another and the goal, but amongst the many bodies, your hands find a place on your favorite Swede’s waist. 

Your hold is gentle yet firm - the opposite of your aggressive and intense style of play - and Frido immediately freezes at the touch, her eyes slightly widened and a light blush coating her cheeks. She takes a small step back as Hanna Glas’ ponytail swings in front of her and she finds herself pressed closer to you, your body heat warm against her back. 

Your own breath gets caught in your throat at close proximity and if the girl in your arms were to turn around she’d be met with a blushing mess, a rare sight from you. You swallow hard as your fingers twitch against her curves but you do pay attention to what is happening at the corner flag. 

Frido silently thanks her teammate for misplacing the ball and the referee whistling at her to fix the positioning, because it allows her to feel you close for just that bit longer. 

Her hands slowly come up to her waist and your hold loosens as you think she’s about to push your hands off. Fridolina is quick to grab them before they can leave her body and she holds them for just a second, contemplating what her move was going to be. However, your hands slip out of her fingers as you jump and head out the incoming ball from near your team’s goal.

 The blonde forward has her mouth hung open at the seemingly sudden and unexpected action. She lowers her head in embarrassment of not realizing that the corner had been taken and not doing her job at trying to head it in the goal. 

There’s not much time to dwell about her supposed mistake as just five minutes later the final whistle is blown, signaling the end of the friendly.

“Go to her” a voice rings out next to her while she shakes Lea Schüller’s hand and Fridolina turns to her captain. Magda nods her head towards your direction and her eyes follow. 

She’s met with the sight of your arm around Jule Brand’s shoulders, the young player leaning into your stronger body. The smile on your face is big and warm as you listen to Jule whose eyes shine with wonder as you press a kiss to the crown of her head. 

Fridolina’s insides melt at the protective and loving behavior from you, her heartbeat quickening as a smile washes over her expression.

“Are you sure I should?” 

“Ja, go Frido. This is your chance” Magda pushes at her shoulder gently, an encouraging expression on her face as she offers her friend a comforting smile. 

“Talk to her. She wants you too” the blonde nods in thought, wondering how Magda would know that, and her feet carry her towards you before she can think about quitting and turning around. 

The Wolfsburg player’s voice comes to a sudden halt as she eyes the Swedish woman in front of her, her head still resting comfortably on your shoulder. When Jule lifts her head and turns to you, it only takes her one look at the way you’re gazing at Rolfö and the curve of your smile to decide that she should leave the two of you alone.

“Good game” you break the silence as you stick your hand out. Fridolina’s smile is hard to miss as she takes hold of your hand but it soon turns into a nervous smile as her hand remains in your own. You’re not one to complain however and instead of letting go you gently pull on her hand.

“Come with me” you gesture towards the tunnel, far too aware of the amount of people watching from the stands of the stadium. The blonde gives you a nod and the two of you walk side by side holding hands as you hide in the tunnel. 

Thoughts are running wild as Magda’s words echo in Fridolina’s head. ‘This is your chance’ and with that the taller girl clears her throat as the two of you come to a stop in the tunnel of the stadium. Your eyes snap to her and for a moment the blonde gets lost in the warmth of your gaze. 

“So um… I wanted to tell you..” she exhales lowly, wondering how she was supposed to do this thing. You squeeze her fingers and she nods to herself. 

“I- really, uhm, I just…” Fridolina closes her eyes in frustration, dropping her head before picking it up again. The corners of your lips tick upwards, finding her nervous behavior absolutely adorable. 

When her eyes flutter open she’s met with your shimmering ones, a look of adoration plastered over your face. A hand reaches out to her face but Frido’s gaze doesn’t move from you as you gently push a strand of hair behind her ear, it having fallen out of her ponytail.

“Don’t stress that pretty head of yours.” your voice made her bite her lower lip and you smirked at the sight. 

“Just do it how you would if I were a man.” it seems like you knew exactly what made this so difficult for her. It also seemed that you knew exactly what she was going to say. ‘She wants you too’ and now she believes her captain’s statement, otherwise you wouldn’t be encouraging her to continue. 

“I can’t.” she huffed out and you chuckled quietly. “It’s different.”

“What makes it different? Other than the obvious” you reveled in the small laugh you got out of her, the sound easing the nervous tension radiating off the beautiful girl in front of you.

“I’d let him make the first move” Fridolina admitted and your smile widened as she seemed to have finally found her voice. 

You carefully placed a hand on her waist and you looked up at her in silent question, asking if what you were doing was okay. When all you received was a dazed look and a slow nod, you proceeded. The butterflies in the Swede’s stomach were going insane as you gently pulled her closer to you and her hands landed on your collar bone. 

“You’re so beautiful” you whispered, not wanting to break the bubble the two of you have created. At the same time you were thankful that both of your teams seemed to be taking their time on the pitch. Fridolina’s cheeks burned a deep shade of red at your compliment and she tilted her head to the side a little. 

“I’m sorry. It’s just I’ve never- this is just all so new to me, but I want to…” she trailed off in her confession and you nodded at her, feeling special that she allowed you to see her this vulnerable. You understood that it was difficult for her to voice just what she felt for you.

“It’s okay.” you gave her waist a gentle squeeze and smiled at the girl in front of you, the sparkle in your eyes never faltering. “We can take it as slow as you’d like”

The assurance made Frido’s heart swell yet she wanted nothing more than to allow herself to fall into your embrace. Her eyes lowered to your lips and her own mouth parted slightly. You watched how her eyes darkened and your smile was replaced with desire. 

“Maybe we can go faster” Frido breathed out as she leaned closer, your own gaze tracing the curve of her lips.

“Whatever you want” and with that you closed the last bit of distance and connected your lips. It was tentative at first as you allowed the blonde to test the waters but it seems like she already knows what she wants.

Frido’s brows knit together as pleasure courses through her whole body and her arms made their way around your neck to bring you even closer, effectively deepening the kiss. 

In that moment, with your bodies flushed and your arms around her waist holding her close and her lips attached to yours in desperation, Frido knows she has nothing to question.

You were her princess charming and she liked it that way.

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 36

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words: 5k

Masterlist

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Monday, January 11; 06:00 AM - Ona and Alexia’s Room.

The usual blaring alarm sounds through the floor, followed by a thud in our room. I turn quickly when the warmth behind my back is no longer there. I hold back a laugh seeing Lucy lying between the two beds with her arm covering her face. My panic subsides when I hear her groan in displeasure, and I glance at Alexia, who shares my amusement.

“The first one I hear laughing will spend the day doing chores with me,” Lucy threatens us. “Seriously, is this really your wake-up call?”

“Welcome to student life,” I chuckle.

“I will never mock your wake-ups again.”

This time I laugh, earning a glare from her.

“I’m using the bathroom first!” announces Alexia as she gets out of bed.

“I’m not staying,” Lucy replies as Alexia disappears. “Do you have sweatpants and a jacket I can borrow to walk through the dorms?”

“Of course. Did you really walk through two buildings in that outfit yesterday?” I ask, surprised.

I observe her wearing just a T-shirt and shorts. She nods as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. It’s not like it’s minus ten outside.

“The instructor yesterday looked really worried. I didn’t really think about getting dressed.”

She’s crazy. I feel slightly guilty for worrying her so much. I don’t say anything and get up to find what she asked for in my wardrobe. I haven’t unpacked my suitcase yet, but I didn’t take all my clothes to her place. I hand her the clothes, and she puts them on over what she’s wearing to save time.

“I’ll check your room later when you’re in class,” she tells me. “Don’t take advantage of the time. Understood?”

I nod to her orders that clearly aren’t meant to be disobeyed, given her tone. She gives me a kiss on the cheek before heading towards the door. However, before leaving, she pauses as if she’s just realized her involuntary gesture, which leaves me speechless too. She turns back, looking embarrassed.

“Sorry, that wasn’t intentional.”

“No worries,” I laugh nervously.

“I’ll see you later.”

She quickly leaves my room, slamming the door behind her. I bring my hand to my cheek, and a silly smile spreads across my lips. This girl is going to drive me crazy if she continues like this, for sure. I snap out of my euphoric state when Alexia comes out of the bathroom, freshly prepared. Seeing her like this reminds me that I haven’t done anything yet. I quickly grab my things.

“She’s already gone?”

“Yeah... She probably wanted to avoid running into other students,” I defend her.

“My God... I can’t believe she agreed to sleep with you in that small bed.”

“I would never have managed to fall asleep if she hadn’t stayed,” I admit timidly. “You’ll keep that to yourself, right?”

“Who do you think I would tell?”

“Do I need to make a list?”

“No, that’s fine,” she laughs.

“Agreed,” I mock before heading to the bathroom myself.

I dress quickly before getting ready. Upon exiting, I find my bed made. I thank Alexia for doing this chore for me, and we head to the cafeteria to join our friends who are already there. Ella and Alessia honor us with their presence this morning, along with Laia. Our table is rarely this full. It seems no girl heard the commotion last night, so we decide not to mention it. It avoids a lot of problems if no one talks about it. I glance at Lucy’s table to find it empty. Neither Ingrid nor she are there. I’ll probably see her in her office later. We leave the cafeteria early for once, so we take advantage of it to go to the common room before our first class. We should receive our new schedules today. It will also be my last hours with Alexia since we will be definitely separated starting next Monday. When eight o’clock approaches, we part ways to go to our classrooms. We wait in the hallway with the rest of our class until the teacher opens the door. I am surprised to see Lucy walk past us during our wait. As I was slouched against the wall at the back of the line, I lean forward to watch her continue her path to my professor.

“What’s she doing here?” Alexia asks me.

“I have no idea.”

“She’s talking with the professor,” a classmate informs us. “Did you do something wrong this morning?” she laughs.

“Why does it always have to concern her? Maybe it’s about you, huh. Idiot,” Alexia retorts coldly.

I hold back laughter seeing the girl’s dismayed expression in front of us. She certainly didn’t expect to be shut down like that. She turns around sulking. Our class moves forward, a sign that the professor is finally allowing us to enter. We follow the pace in silence, and I greet our teacher as I pass him. I was ready to enter without further acknowledging Lucy’s presence, but she holds me back by the arm.

“Wait,” Lucy stops me. “You’re coming with me.”

“Why?” I frown.

“You should know the reasons.”

I look into my class where a murmur is heard. I notice that everyone is watching us. This prompts the professor to close the door for some privacy.

“Wiegman would like to see you to discuss your problems,” she tells me.

“Oh... Have you already gone to see her?”

“You gave me your consent...” she says with a hint of doubt.

“Yes, yes, I know,” I reassure her. “I didn’t think you’d do it so soon. You’re coming with me then?”

“That’s why I’m here.”

“Why didn’t you talk about it earlier?” my professor asks. “We noticed you were quite tired, but we couldn’t guess. You should have mentioned it.”

“I spoke to Bronze, that’s more than enough,” I respond defensively.

“You need to talk to us about your problems if you want us to help too,” he insists.

“I already have all the help I need,” I say, pointing to Lucy.

“I’ll bring her back once we’re done,” Lucy interrupts, seeing my growing irritation.

“No problem, take your time. See you later.”

Lucy pulls me along after thanking and greeting him. We take the stairs to the ground floor. I didn’t expect her to go see our principal so quickly. She had warned me that we needed to find a solution quickly. She smiles when she notices my expression.

“What? Aren’t you happy to miss class?”

“No. Definitely not for what we’re going to do.”

“Relax. I already spoke with her this morning and proposed a solution that he finally accepted. It was hard to convince her, but I succeeded. She asked me to fetch you to get your opinion and consent.”

“My consent?” I ask, skeptical.

“Take your hands out of your pockets, please.”

“Sorry,” I mumble, rolling my eyes.

I immediately remove them to please her. I hadn’t even realized I’d done it. We exit the building, and I shield myself from the cold as we are greeted by a wave of icy wind.

“Did you go see her directly this morning then?”

“After getting ready, yes.”

“And so?”

“And so what?”

“Well... What’s the proposal?”

“Your crises vary, and as much as I like you, I don’t plan on making trips to the dorms every night. You can understand that, right?”

“Yes, obviously...” I say, lowering my head.

“So I asked to have you in my room again. I want to follow up on this issue personally.”

“Really?” I ask, stopping at this news.

“I wanted to have you placed in a room in our dorm, but it seems there are no more free. So I insisted that a bed be put in my room to accommodate you.”

“She really agreed to that!?”

“Let’s say the week I had you in my room convinced her. Plus, I’m the only one who can manage you, according to her. She knows you trust me.”

I nod, smiling. This idea delights me. The only thing that bothers me is being away from Alexia for a while. I hope at least it will be worth it, and I will manage to have full nights of sleep. Alexia never complained about it, but I noticed that my unexpected wake-ups affected her sleep. This is probably the best solution for now. Hopefully, it won’t be Lucy’s turn to be affected...

“I guess you don’t mind?” she asks me.

“No. We get along pretty well together, I think.”

“That’s true.”

“You do have a strong persuasive power, I must say.”

“Oh, it’s just a bit of good words, with a bit of good argument, mixed with my acting talent, and there you have it.”

“Acting talent?” I laugh. “Which one?”

“Hey,” she says, offended, pushing me. “I use it every day to hide our friendship.”

“Oh yeah? You’re not a real commander?” I tease her.

“How dare you! You should be the first to know that I’m not!” she pushes me again, making me laugh.

“Indeed, you’re an amazing person hiding behind what you’re not.”

“I’m not hiding, I’m working. Maybe I should pursue an acting career, don’t you think?”

“For you to get a big head? No thanks!”

“I wouldn’t get a big head,” she laughs.

“You don’t know that. I prefer not to risk it.”

“And why not?”

“I don’t want to lose the unique person beside me.”

“You won’t lose her.”

“I’m serious,” I say, looking at her. “You’ve become important to me.”

She smiles in response to my confession. She’s already told me that I’m important to her, but I wish I could hear it again. In the end, it’s too late to add anything. We’ve just arrived in front of the office doors. She lets me enter first, and I don’t need a guide to find Wiegman’s office. I’d rather not have to come back here. I don’t really like Wiegman; I find her scary. I stop in front of her door and turn to look at Lucy.

“You’re coming in with me?”

“That was the plan, yes. Do you prefer to go alone?”

“No, no. I want you with me.”

She nods and knocks on the door. I open it when we're allowed in. The director stands up to welcome us.

“Good morning, Ona.”

“Good morning, Ma’am.”

I shake the hand she extends. She invites me to sit in one of the chairs in front of her. I take the one in the back so Lucy can take the other.

“How are you feeling?”

“Good, and you?”

“Not too tired?”

“Why ask if you already know the answer?”

“Ona…” Lucy gently reprimands me.

“What? Let's get to the point. We all know why we're here, right?”

“She’s right,” Wiegman interjects. “Is this the first time these insomnia episodes have happened? Before coming here, I mean.”

“Not really,” I sigh. “I had them when I returned home, and then they came back during my withdrawal. It had been a few months since they stopped.”

“Can we know the reasons for these nightmares?”

“No,” I reply coldly.

I lower my head, clenching my fists. She better not force me to talk about it. She's definitely not the first person I’ll confide in. I feel Lucy's reassuring hand on my shoulder.

“I don’t think it’s necessary to break her down like this.”

“You're right; that’s not the goal. However, I’d like to know how you experience your episodes from the inside, if possible. It’s important for us to know. It will help us act better.”

I sigh deeply before explaining my feelings. She takes notes on everything I say, which annoys me. I feel like I'm talking to a doctor. Luckily Lucy is here, otherwise, I would have told her off already. I lower my head before starting.

“I-it’s like I completely lose control of my body. My heart races, my breathing becomes uncontrollable. My ears ring to the point where I can’t hear anything, and everything can worsen in a split second.”

“And so, Miss Bronze is the only one who can calm you down, according to my sources?”

“Yes. She’s the only one who cares about me and whom I trust,” I admit honestly. “Her presence reassures me.”

“Good…” he says, putting down his pen. “Miss Bronze suggested placing a bed in her room until this situation calms down. Does that work for you? I don’t want it to be a problem for you.”

“No…” I say, briefly glancing at Lucy. “If she doesn't mind waking up for me… I don't mind sharing a room with her. At least Alexia can get a full night's sleep, and it will avoid any disturbances or movements during the night.”

“Good. This will take effect starting tonight. I want it done with complete discretion. No one should know except the educators and your roommate. The bed will be placed during the day,” she informs Lucy. “If you still agree, of course.”

“I proposed the idea, so yes, of course.”

“I really emphasize that this idea must not spread in any way.”

“I will personally handle it if it starts to spread.”

“Hmm. This situation will only be temporary. Let’s say until the next vacation, in February. If there’s no improvement, other measures will be taken, such as a follow-up with a psychologist, for example.”

I grimace but nod, having no choice. I just need to find a solution to get rid of these nightmares. I don’t want to go that far over some restless nights. The discussion ends quickly after that. Lucy takes the time to thank him before we leave. We both take a deep breath once outside. She pushes me to make me understand to leave the offices.

“You didn’t tell me about this psychologist thing!”

“I wasn’t aware. We need to solve this problem now.”

“I know,” I sigh. “Thanks for defending me, by the way…”

“It’s normal,” she smiles. “Come on, I’ll walk you to class. Do you want me to take care of your things?”

“I can handle it.”

“We need to do this while the students are in class, Ona.”

“Well, then, do it. Just make sure to take my laptop, my iPod, and my headphones.”

“Okay, got it,” she chuckles. “Come on, hurry now. You’ve missed a good part of your class. I said I’d bring you back before the end.”

“Relax, I have two hours this morning.”

“That’s not an excuse, come on, move faster,” she reprimands me.

I laugh when she accompanies her words with a playful kick in the butt. I adjust my bag on my shoulders, and we walk to my classroom.

“How will it work then?”

“I’ll get your things now. As for you, you go through your day.”

“That’s it? And can I go to your room whenever I want?”

“No, absolutely not,” she shakes her head. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, but we need to stay discreet, remember?”

“So…?”

“You do like every day. You have access to my room only to sleep. We’ll meet every night after the cafeteria or when you’re done hanging out with your friends, your choice.”

“Okay…”

“Does that work for you?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Sorry,” she grimaces. “I wish we could do it differently, but those are Wiegman’s conditions. She doesn’t want it to be known, you know that.”

“Great,” I sigh, stopping in front of my classroom door. “Can we see each other later?”

“If you want. I’ll be in the office. If not, ask Ingrid; she’ll know where I am.”

I nod, and she knocks on the door right after. She opens the door after getting permission from my teacher. She apologizes for the disturbance and steps aside to let me in. I do so without much conviction, not feeling motivated to return to class.

“See you later,” she whispers.

She thanks my teacher while I sit next to Alexia. She closes the door just as the bell indicates the end of the first hour. Unexpectedly, our teacher grants us a break, allowing Alexia to bombard me with questions. The teacher said nothing, so she didn't know where I was. I wait for the others to leave the class to explain what just happened. I wrote everything down on a piece of paper to stay as discreet as possible and avoid prying ears. It's not like they insisted on this detail. Anyway, Alexia had no choice but to be informed since we share the same room. The class resumes after the five-minute exceptional break. I try to focus, but it’s very difficult since I missed half of it. Plus, Alexia keeps wanting to chat. For once, I’m not the troublemaker between us. We managed to anger the teacher, who reminded us to behave and has been keeping an eye on us since. He asked me to stay after class. I hope it’s not to scold me because it’s not my fault this time!

“Alexia Putellas!” he reprimands her yet again. “Please follow the lesson instead of bothering your neighbor! Just because it’s the last week doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pay attention! Continue like this, and I’ll send you to the instructors.”

I snicker at my roommate's grumbling. It wasn’t hard to warn her. This teacher is too predictable. The ten o’clock break finally rings, much to Alexia’s delight. Everyone leaves the room, even Alexia, who waits for me behind the door as I asked her to. I approach the desk after gathering my things in my bag. He looks up when he sees me.

“Miss Batlle. Here,” he says, handing me a form that I quickly look at. “Try to stay on the right track without being influenced. You’ve managed to convince some teachers… and the opposite.”

Knowing the comments that came out of the class council, I know what he’s talking about. I’ve criticized this teacher a lot throughout the year, but knowing he defended me makes me regret my words.

“Will I still have you as a teacher?” I ask.

“No, I’ll be teaching another class, which is why I wish you the best.”

I thank him before leaving the room. I smile as I examine my new schedule. My time slots don’t change much. I still have Friday afternoons off, and I even finish an hour earlier on Wednesdays, at two o’clock. However, I’m skeptical about not having my math teacher anymore. I don’t understand much of his lessons, but he was one of the few to support me when everyone was against me. I put the sheet in my bag and go out to join Alexia to enjoy the rest of our break.

Monday, January 11; 5:30 PM - Ona and Alexia’s Room

“I still can’t believe Wiegman agreed to this. Seriously, you’re going to end up alone with Bronze in her room! It’s surprising given the restrictions she put because of Jenni.”

We’ve just gotten to the room, and she clearly couldn’t hold it in any longer. She wanted to discuss it several times, but I cut her off to make her understand that it wasn’t possible around the students.

“She managed to persuade her. Don’t ask me how, I have no idea.”

“She’s still stealing my roommate!”

“I’ll only be there at night, Alexia. She doesn’t want me to hang out in her room otherwise.”

“I’m sure that will change very quickly!”

“Of course not. She already told me we’ll go to her room together every night.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I assure you, I’ll still be here for a long time.”

I open my wardrobe after my last words, and the smile I had fades away. Alexia quickly comes up behind me to look over my shoulder, curious about my silence. She bursts out laughing.

“Staying here, huh? Maybe that's why your wardrobe is empty.”

“Damn it,” I grumble. “Why did she take everything?”

I expected her to take my uniforms, some pajamas, and underwear. But not almost everything! All that's left are a few T-shirts and some insignificant jeans. Why would she take my clothes when I'm not even allowed to wear them during the week? As I rummage around, I notice that my art supplies are also gone, and my suitcase next to the wardrobe is missing too. I check my things in the bathroom, and it's the same result. It's as if I don't live in this room anymore. Yet she clearly told me I could only access her room at night.

“Still, I'll miss you, Oni.”

She pouts adorably. It would’ve touched me if she hadn't used that nickname that only people from Barcelona use. She’s never called me that before… It clicks in my head.

“Don't tell me you're talking to Mapi?”

She stiffens slightly in my arms at my question, which says a lot about the answer.

“Oops… Does it bother you?”

I can't believe this! It's not that it bothers me, but if they start talking about me, it could get awkward. Who knows what Mapi might tell her with everything she knows about me. Especially about Lucy. Oh my God! I really hope she hasn’t said anything! I take a deep breath and shake my head.

“Of course not.”

“Cool... So, shall we join the others?” she distracts me.

“Yeah, sure,” I say, skeptical. “Let’s do that.”

We put our jackets back on, which we had just taken off, and head down to the common room where the boys are already there, playing foosball. Alexia joins them while I sit with those who chose not to play—Leah, Patri, Claudia, and Lotte.

“Everything okay, Princess?” Leah asks when I sit down next to her.

“Stop all calling me that.”

“I’m the only one who calls you that here,” she says, confused.

“To be honest, no,” I laugh.

“But no one in our group calls you that,” Claudia adds.

“You’re hiding people from us?” Patri teases.

“Not at all.”

I rest my head on Leah’s shoulder, and she doesn’t seem to mind. I’m not usually touchy, but she’s the person I get along with best after Alexia. I remember she was the first person I talked to at the table on the first night. We clicked instantly, and I guess it’s stayed that way.

“So, how are you really doing?” she asks again.

“Exhausted, but I’ll be fine.”

“Partied too hard this weekend?” Lotte jokes.

“Not even!”

“You went home?”

“Uh, yeah. I was with Mapi,” I lie. “Is that *The Walking Dead* on TV?” I change the subject.

“Yeah, but it’s impossible to follow with all this noise.”

She’s absolutely right. I’ve always said the TV in this room is useless given the constant noise. Unfortunately, it’s the only one we have. I watch the scenes from the show, which I hated at first. But I ended up liking it because Mapi made me watch it with her. After a few minutes, I realize I’ve already seen this episode, so I zone out.

“Looking forward to having me in your class?” Leah jokes, making me vibrate with laughter.

“I’m glad we’ll get to spend more time together. I think Alessia and Lotte will be with us too, right?” I say, looking at them.

I gaze at Alessia a bit longer when I realize I haven’t heard her voice since I’ve been with them. She just nods with a small smile, which I return. Finally, I sit back on the couch.

“We’ll see how it goes. I’m not particularly good at math or anything.”

“So how did you get into management?” Patri teases.

“I raised my grades thanks to Bronze,” I shrug.

“Why pursue it if it’s not your strong suit?” Alessia asks.

“It’ll help with my projects… or at least I hope so.”

I hunch my shoulders when someone lightly taps my head. I look up to see who did it. I expected Alexia, but a smile stretches across my face when I see Lucy. She’s leaning over me.

“Speak of the devil…”

“Oh, you were talking about me?” she asks, raising an eyebrow. “I hope it was good.”

“Of course. I’d never talk badly about you.”

“Sure. Go ahead, mock me,” she says, playfully nudging me, which makes me laugh.

“Never.”

“Right. For that, you’re coming with me to my office.”

I lose my smile when I notice she’s no longer joking. I quickly review my day in my head, worried I’ve done something wrong.

“Come on, get up.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“What did I do?”

“Nothing. I just want you to catch up on the class you missed this morning.”

“You’re kidding,” I groan. “It’s my last week. Why should I catch up?”

“Because I spoke with your teacher, and it seems you’re studying a chapter you’ll cover in your new section. I also know you weren’t very attentive during your second hour because of Miss Putellas, so you’ll do me the favor of getting your butt off the couch unless you want me to do it for you.”

“Fine, you win,” I grumble.

She has a satisfied smile when I comply. My friends tease me for being weak, but Lucy quickly makes them regret their words. I stop by the foosball table to tell Alexia I’ll join them in the cafeteria later. After that, I follow Lucy to her office after grabbing my things from my room. It’s hard to believe she actually intends to make me study, but it seems like she really will. When we arrive, I flop into a chair in front of her desk. I start taking out my supplies without any motivation. Ingrid isn’t even here to entertain me. I stop rummaging through my bag when laughter echoes in the previously silent room.

“You’re way too naive, Ona.”

“You tricked me?” I ask, uncertain.

“Never,” she smiles, amused.

“Oh yeah? You’re like that?” I pretend to be offended.

“Well, I can’t help it if you fall for it so easily.”

“Okay, fine. You’re going to regret this.”

She laughs at me as I decide to sulk. It wasn’t funny at all to make me think I’d be working. I really thought I would be.

“Oh, come on. It was the only excuse to get you here.”

I stay quiet, wanting to show her she shouldn’t have done that. She could’ve at least told me or hinted at it differently.

“You’re really going to sulk over this? I thought you had a better sense of humor.”

She keeps talking, trying desperately to get a reaction out of me, which makes me laugh internally. I stay stone-faced until she’s genuinely worried, which I find very cute. I’m almost disappointed when she gives up on making me smile. Now she’s the one sulking, her maturity left behind. I finally smile, but it seems to have no effect on her now sour mood. I start to regret resisting her for so long.

“You’re really going to start working like nothing happened?” I joke.

She doesn’t answer. To prove she’s serious, she pulls out some papers and puts on those glasses I love so much.

“You’re adorable,” I blurt out.

“Okay, are you done sulking?” she asks, looking up.

“And you?” I reply.

We look at each other for a moment before laughing. We’re like kids together, and I love it. I shake my head to get a grip. This hour could have been the most boring and least important of my life, but it’s not. No hour with Lucy is a waste of time. I bite my lip at this thought. I really need to calm down. I’m getting my hopes up for nothing.

“Why did you take all my stuff when I’m not allowed to hang out in your room?”

“Remind me what you’re doing this weekend? I didn’t want to make a thousand trips. I figured I’d take everything at once.”

“Oh…”

“It’s much more convenient, isn’t it? You’re not going to scatter your things everywhere either.”

“True.”

“Well,” she says, glancing at the time. “I thought we’d have more time to talk, but it’s dinner time. Your friends must be waiting for you. Let’s meet in the hall outside the cafeteria in an hour, okay?”

“Yeah,” I say, a little disappointed. “See you later.”

I pack up my things and leave her office. I smile softly, thinking it wasn’t the evening I imagined. I didn’t do much, but it was pretty cool though.

Monday, January 11, 8:00 PM - Cafeteria.

My meal went relatively well this evening, as it usually does. Since we all have different passions and hobbies, the discussions vary a lot. Everyone enjoys the variety it brings to the table. I'm chatting with Alessia as we leave the cafeteria. I discovered that she loves art as well, which gave us plenty to talk about tonight. I saw Lucy leave a good ten minutes ago. I don't know if she waited for me, but I quickly get my answer when I see her waiting outside with a book in her hands. At least I don’t have to look for her. I apologize to Alessia, pretending I need to ask Lucy something. I give a general “good night” after telling them not to wait up for me.

"See you later," Alexia says, kissing my cheek.

I smile at how she can play along, even if no one seems to have noticed what she did. I wait for them to leave before joining Lucy.

"Hey!" I call out once I’m close.

"I thought you'd be quicker," she replies, closing her book.

"Sorry, I got caught up talking," I admit honestly.

"I noticed. Let's go. I've waited long enough."

We waste no time heading to her room. It feels like I’m stepping back in time a few weeks as I follow her. I lie down on the single bed that will be mine for the next few days. I smile when I see my things scattered across her desk and my suitcase right next to it.

"You shower at night, right?" she asks.

"Yeah. Waking up at six is already tough enough without having to shower in the morning like I used to."

"Lightweight," she smiles. "Well, you know how the shower works and everything."

"You shower in the morning?"

"Yes, after my run. I’ll save some time now that you're here. Ingrid is going to check Alexia’s room."

"Right."

"Do you want me to set the alarm for six-thirty? That way, you can have a few extra minutes in the morning."

"No, leave it at six, please. I don't want to mess up my routine, knowing I won't be here forever. Besides, thirty minutes won’t make a difference."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, yes. Six o'clock," I confirm.

"Alright, as you wish," she says, setting the alarm.

It’s true they don't have alarms like we do in our dorm. They’re allowed to manage their wake-up times as they like. Well, not entirely, since Bronze has to check our room. I would have much preferred to have my own alarm too.

"Can I go take a shower?"

"Of course, you don’t need to ask me. Make yourself at home."

"Thanks."

I grab pajamas, a fresh pair of underwear, and my toiletry bag from my suitcase, then lock myself in her bathroom. After stripping off my clothes, I step directly under the jets. It helps me clear my mind. I hope tonight won’t be as bad as I fear. I need this to end soon, for my own sake and for those around me. I don't want to burden Lucy or impose on her by sharing a room, even though it was her idea. Deep down, I’m afraid of losing control in her presence. Afraid she’ll discover the reasons behind my nightmares. But also afraid of getting too attached to her—more than I already am—and going crazy over her and that damn perfect body. Just thinking about it, I change the temperature of the shower to cold to snap myself out of it before it’s too late.

[dont-offend-the-bees]

We Glimpse Each Other Out of Phase

Hello lovelies; rough weekend, huh? I've had this one roughly drafted for a couple of weeks and was planning to keep it in my back pocket as a Deadboyween prompt fill. However, given the cancellation news, I think maybe we could all use a little gentle melancholy comfort right now. So I cleaned it up a bit, and I hope you will take this little snippet as the warm hug it is intended as 💛 So this technically follows on from/is set in the same universe as my Painland Week fic Something I Can Turn To. A fic which I basically intended to leave as a one shot, but I got quite invested in the universe and have been absolutely blown away by the response to it. So it became a collection which now features, as well as my own fic, two wonderful fics by williamvapespeare and one by Ingi, and I would heartily recommend you check them out if you enjoy this story or my original one! That being said, you probably CAN read this without having read the first story, I just wouldn't personally recommend it, you'll be missing a lot of context and backstory! 3.7k, rated T, also available on Ao3 (registered users only!) Part One (Something I Can Turn To) on tumblr

Charles may have had a bit of a rough go of it growing up, but there'd been quiet moments, too. Most of 'em in a rickety old attic, with the only lad in the entire world he could trust with just about anything.

But there were peaceful times at home, too. Safe ones. Mostly at night. Long as he was quiet, didn't cry too loud or stomp about, he could get through eight-ish hours unbothered. Sure, sometimes he had to pace around the room a bit, silent on sock feet just to shake out the excess energy that wouldn't let him sleep but honestly? He bloody loved sleeping. Couldn't get enough of it. Long as he didn't make a fuss, didn't draw attention, he could sink into his bed in the cellar room and just sort of... bob out of his life for a bit. Like a smoke break, but better for his health. If he was dead lucky, he'd even stumble into Edwin's arms in his dreams; pass the time there 'til morning, when it all kicked off again.

So it wasn't easy, getting used to night shifts. It was a fair trade-off for all the other freedom in his life lately but bloody hell, did it sting a bit, losing that time. That dark, quiet nothing where he could be nothing, too, just for a bit. There was almost something sacred about it. Something he hadn’t known was important to him ‘til it was gone.

At least the night shift was pretty quiet, usually. Most of the people who needed to use a gym at two in the morning weren't exactly there to socialise. Charles' job pretty much amounted to half-dozing at reception and handing someone a towel now and then. He'd not had many nutjobs to deal with or fires to put out.

Then again, maybe a good disaster was what he needed just to stay awake. Christ, he was shattered. Took him a good few tries to get the key in the lock when he finally staggered home.

Charles was sad — but not surprised — to find the kitchen light on when he fell through the door.

He rolled his eyes. "Honey," he called, jokingly, the endearment all funny and wrong on his tongue. He'd call Edwin a lot of things — mate, love, best friend, fucking soulmate — but honey? Mingin'. "I'm home."

Edwin's reply was half a second too slow — textbook Edwin guilt response. Like when your cat didn't jump off the counter fast enough to pretend it hadn't been there in the first place. "Good evening, Charles."

"Good morning, more like," said Charles, drawing the bolts — all three of them — across and dropping his bag in a sloppy heap by the door. His coat came next, then each shoe, leaving a trail behind him as he stumbled towards the voice. The hallway felt too short and dark to be called a hallway, really. Looked more like a cupboard where someone had shoved a load of loose doors they had lying around. There was one to the kitchen, one to the bathroom, one to the bedroom that was basically also their living room. Plus a bunch of other weird little cupboard doors and hatches and grates and things, none of which led to anything you’d logically expect them to. It was a shambles, really. A 'paint it magnolia and fob it off on the students' sort of ruin. But it was home. Even bone-tired, he still found the energy to lock gaze with the weird eye-motif lamp Edwin had picked up somewhere and put on one of the non-shelves, and give it his customary wink. Felt wrong not to. Unlucky, somehow.

A fanlike halo of yellow light spread across the hallway carpet as he pushed open the kitchen door. He found more or less what he'd expected to find behind it. Edwin: sat prim and proper at the scuffed-up little table, surrounded by books and doing a bang-up impression of someone with no bloody idea what time it was. His chin, tucked elegantly behind his curled knuckles in that little thoughtful pose of his, lifted at the sound of the door. His eyes found Charles and narrowed, just a little, sketching a pleased little crinkle or two at the corners.

"Charles," he greeted once again, voice softer this time. "How was your shift?"

Edwin hadn't had those laugh lines when Charles had met him. Seeing as he was twelve, and not exactly full of reasons to smile. Charles wasn't gonna take full credit for them, or anything, but... well, not many other people putting in the legwork, were there?

He dragged in a breath and let it out again, sharply, puffing it out in a raspberry. "Same old."

Charles crossed the kitchen in about three steps (it wasn't a big kitchen), clocking Edwin's book of choice on the way. Some textbook with a long-winded title that basically translated to lawyer gubbins. He put a hand on Edwin's shoulder — and Edwin tilted his head easily, offering his cheek for a kiss. Charles grinned and pressed one to the tail end of one of those little lines.

"Burning the midnight oil?" asked Charles, nicking one of Edwin's favourite expressions. He always seemed to pick up the ones that made him sound about a hundred years old.

Edwin hummed, carefully noncommittal. "I must have lost track of time."

"Could've counted these, for a start," said Charles, tapping the little saucer on the table. It was piled high with used teabags, like some damp and deranged game of Jenga. "Might've given you a clue."

"I've been rather busy," Edwin sniffed, turning the page in his book. "Lots of swotting to be done before my lecture on Monday."

"Right, that's what this is, is it?"

"What else would it be?"

Charles reached out, pinched the book Edwin was reading at the centre, and slid it out of the bigger, decoy book he was holding with its cover facing out. "Oldest trick in the book, mate. Literally," he grinned. He lifted Edwin's secret reading into his arms, having a flip through. "Y'know, most people only pull that move when they've got dirty mags to hide.”

Edwin cleared his throat. Even in the dim light of the table lamp, Charles clocked the embarrassed flush on his cheeks. "Well," he said, setting the law textbook he absolutely wasn't reading on the table. "It does get rather draining, this intensive focus on one subject. I felt the need for a brief diversion."

Charles closed the secret book, glancing at the cover. "Anthropology, again. Like that one, don't you?"

"Hm. There's much to explore; it encompasses a rather broad area of study." Edwin took it back and slid it, sheepishly, behind the pile of other law volumes stacked at his elbow. "It's a fascinating subject."

"Should've applied for it," said Charles, gentle. He rubbed Edwin's shoulder absently — getting a little more intent when he felt Edwin melt a bit, his knotted muscles loosening under Charles' digging thumb. "Or any of the other five million bloody things you're interested in. Y'know, 'stead of the one thing you're not."

"I am interested in it!" Edwin blustered.

Charles raised an eyebrow at him.

Edwin sighed. "I am," he said, bit quieter. "It's just not all I'd like to be doing. But it was the right choice, of that I'm quite certain."

Charles sighed and stepped around him, coming to lean on the table, arms crossed. Their eyes met across the short distance. "Look. If you say it's alright, it's alright. I'll believe you, mate, honest I will."

He nudged Edwin's toe with his own, sock to holey sock. "But, y'know. Not for nothing, but at school you was always going on about all that stuff you wanted to do. Bloody... archaeology in Peru, and whatever else. Just don't see how a law degree gets you there, is all."

Edwin leaned back in his chair a bit, steepling his fingers. "Well, no. No, it doesn't get me to Peru; or Pompeii, or Patagonia —"

"Or anywhere beginning with a 'p'," Charles teased.

Edwin's lips twitched up in a little smile. "But it will get us somewhere. A great many somewheres, I imagine. As degrees go, it opens rather a lot of doors."

Charles cocked his head, squinting fondly. "'Us'?"

"Obviously, Charles," said Edwin, with a dismissive wave of his hand. Like a reality where he didn't bring Charles wherever he went wasn't worth considering.

Charles grinned, ducking his head.

"I'm sure you'll chastise me for my cynicism," Edwin continued, oblivious to Charles and his soppy moment. "But... Well, given the somewhat rocky beginnings you and I have encountered in life, I thought it best to..."

"What? Play it safe?"

"Yes," said Edwin. Firm, unapologetic. "Exactly. Because I would very much like for both of us to be safe in life, Charles."

"We are! Well," Charles shrugged, scratching at his nose with a wince. Still ached a bit sometimes, all told, even though the break was years ago. "We are now."

"And I would like for it to stay that way."

"It will!" Charles half-perched on the table, and nudged Edwin's leg with his big toe. "I'll look after us, won't I?"

Edwin looked up at him, and his eyes softened. Fuck, but he had the kindest bloody eyes — least when he turned them on Charles he did. His hand landed on Charles' knee, gentle as you like; rubbing small circles with his thumb like Charles had done on his shoulders.

"You've done more than enough already, Charles," he said, looking him dead in the eye; not letting him hide for anything. "It's only fair I look after you, too, now and again. Especially when it's within my power to do so."

Charles laughed, a thin, hitching sort of thing. His eyes felt all prickly. Fuck, he couldn't go crying on him, now — his eyeliner'd smudge everywhere, it'd be so obvious.

"Look after me," he mimicked, catching Edwin's hand in his, stealing it all for himself. "You gimme a bloody reason to wake up in the morning, mate. What else d'you need?"

Edwin opened his mouth, brows going all scrunched up like they did at the start of a concerned lecture. Charles ducked in and shushed him quicksharp with a kiss.

"Not saying I'm about to, like, off myself if you chuck me, or anything," he laughed against his lips, fondness glowing in the grate of his ribs like smouldering coals. He chased the kiss with a smaller one, to the corner of Edwin's mouth; the scratchy dusting of his five o'clock shadow. "I'd just wallow about being proper depressed, so. Don't chuck me, please?"

Maybe he was clinging a little too hard for his tone of voice. Maybe he was giving it all away in the hands — always such desperate, grasping fucking things. Always his problem, the hands. How they grabbed things, hit things, did things before his brain always had the chance to catch up. How long 'til Edwin got sick of Charles hanging onto him like a life raft, dragging him down with his dead weight? How long 'til the bones in Edwin's hands started to creak from being clutched too tight?

But Edwin just scoffed, quietly — completely failing to hide that little spark of humour in his eyes. "I hardly think that's a possibility, Charles," he said, lifting his other hand to pat the back of Charles'. His soft fingertips kissed feather-light against Charles' grazed, calloused knuckles. "Honestly,” he sighed, dramatically. “Here I sit, talking about the devastatingly boring career I'm attempting to get off the ground in order to keep you in the manner to which you've become accustomed, and you think I'm about to chuck you."

He shook his head, crow’s feet crinkling and bloody hell. Charles loved him so much it felt overwhelming, sometimes. Like he needed a whole extra heart in his chest just to store it all.

Charles kissed Edwin's hand and flopped, happily, onto his lap, grinning at the mild ‘oof’ it shoved out of him. Grinning even wider when Edwin's other arm wrapped around Charles’ waist without a second thought. Edwin was a bit picky about personal space, for good reason — not with Charles, though. Charles had a standing invitation and he put it to bloody good use.

"Bet you could make a weird job work for you too, y'know," said Charles, dropping his next peck to Edwin's forehead as he sank into his lap. His head felt heavier already; only thing keeping him going was the effort of holding himself upright. Draped over Edwin like a blanket, he could've just dozed off right then and there. But the kitchen chair was creaking threateningly, so. Probably a bad idea. "I know the weird stuff's usually more competitive and that, but you're that smart. You'd run rings round the others, mate, get ahead of the game."

He flung his arms round Edwin's shoulders, scratched at the back of his head, the hair at his nape. It was a little longer than Edwin liked it. He needed a trim. So did Charles, really; his racing stripes had grown out and he kept having to blow stray curls out of his eyes. But they were saving their pennies any way they could. "You could go do something interesting, something a bit barmy," said Charles. "Something with a bit of adventure, yeah? Or at least where you get to have your nose in interesting books all day. You'd love that."

Edwin sighed, resting his cheek against Charles' shoulder as his eyes drifted shut. "That does sound compelling. But I've rather made my bed, Charles; I’ve no money coming in at all if I don’t study for it. And it is interesting, in moderation. Besides, it..."

"What?"

"It seems... like a decent thing to do." The warm weight of Edwin's arm squeezed Charles' waist. "Something I could do a modicum of good with."

Charles heard a rustle, and glanced over his shoulder. Edwin's other hand was flicking through the law book on the table, clever fingers finding the module he wanted without even checking the contents. Charles had to squint at it a moment, his exhausted eyes skittering off the page. He thought he saw 'human' and 'rights' in that word soup of a title.

He softened. "Eds..."

"I merely thought..." Edwin made a little noise of frustration in his throat, angling his face further into Charles. Speaking so soft it almost got lost in his skin, words lodging small and timid in his bones. "So many years, Charles. Trapped at the mercy of other people, no one caring if we lived or died, I... I could do something about it. Learn the right words to say, the right arguments, the right resources. So no one else need..."

Sometimes it fucking killed Charles, that there were people out there who thought Edwin was some... some selfish, spoiled rich toff with no feelings. As if he wasn't the kindest bloody person in the world; as if he hadn't had to carve that kindness out himself with his bare, bleeding hands.

Edwin sniffed. “It was just an idea,” he mumbled. “A silly idea.”

Charles shook his head, stroked Edwin's hair. "S'not a silly idea, love. Not silly at all."

Edwin never struggled to find his words like this — and he definitely didn’t mumble them. Words were his weapons, and he could go toe-to-toe with the best of 'em, talk bloody circles 'round his opponents.

Charles looked from him to the stack of books, the tower of teabags. The plastic clock on the wall, its hands marching on into the morning.

"Aw, mate," he said, rubbing the back of Edwin's neck — and dropping a kiss to the top of his head. "You're dead on your feet, in’t you?"

"I'm perfectly fine," Edwin grumbled. "And I've tests to study for —"

"Tests in subjects you're not bloody taking? Yeah, right." Charles bit his lip, cuddling Edwin's head against his chest. "Can't sleep, can you?"

Edwin was quiet a moment, breathing nice and steady into Charles' throat.

"It's still... difficult," he said.

Three door bolts and four hundred miles was a start, but bad memories had a way of following you about. Charles closed his eyes and breathed in, nice and slow; hoping Edwin could feel it in his chest, find a nice rhythm in his rising ribs.

"Edwin," he said, nuzzling into his hair. "On my life, mate — one of these days, you and me are gonna be so bloody set you'll be able to do whatever you want. Go back to uni fifty times, hundred times, don't care. Study for the rest of your life, if you want.” He tapped Edwin’s temple. “Cram everything that's ever interested you in that big brain of yours. Promise you."

It shouldn't've felt like taking a bloody knight's oath, whispered words at the kitchen table at stupid o'clock in the morning. But Christ, he'd fought off enough dragons to get ‘em here, hadn’t he?

He felt Edwin's smile against his skin, followed by the little dry brush of his kiss. "You could, too. If you liked," he said. "Get your A-levels, apply for university..."

Charles laughed, shaking his head. "Not sure I could keep up."

"Charles," Edwin admonished, in that stern teacher voice that was cuter (and fitter) than it had any right to be. "You're exceptionally bright."

"Ah, come on, mate," Charles mumbled, squirming. Edwin's arm round his waist locked as if it could sense an escape attempt incoming.

"You are. I remember your grades, before... well. Everything that occurred." He smoothed down the collar of Charles' fuck-ugly work shirt. "It's hardly your fault your final years went awry as they did. You could go back, take some courses at the local college. Try again."

"Right, sure."

Edwin huffed, frustrated. "I'm being quite serious, in the event that wasn't obvious."

"When aren't you?" Charles chuckled. He stared at the wall, at the stupid fucking boyband calendar their kooky upstairs neighbour gave Edwin for Christmas. Most of the writing on it was Edwin's, neat and tiny, scheduling tests and lectures and study blocks. Most of Charles' additions were just the word 'WORK', scribbled in on scattered days — more so Edwin knew when he was coming and going, rather than for his own benefit. Always different days, different times. Shift work; no chance to form a routine. He was never great at that, anyway.

"Not even sure what I'd do," he mumbled.

Edwin's palm on Charles' waist rubbed, soothing, grounding. "You never had something you wanted to study?" he asked. "Something you wanted to go into?"

"I..." His brow furrowed. It was so hard to think, sometimes. About times before now. Like all those bloody miserable years just blended into this mush of dread and misery. "I dunno what I wanted," he admitted. "Couldn't... couldn't think that far ahead, could I? I just wanted my mum to be alright. Wanted my dad to think I was worth something. Wanted not to hurt anymore."

He sniffed, and laughed, a watery sort of sound. His arm around Edwin's shoulders squeezed.

"Only thing I ever wanted and got back then was you," he said, flippant, like it didn't really matter. 'Cause it didn't really, did it? Wasn't some big confession or anything. Some deep, dark secret. Edwin knew. They both knew.

But Edwin breathed in sharply, a little ragged round the edges, so maybe he needed reminding now and again. "Charles..."

"Fuck," Charles chuckled, releasing Edwin so he could lean back and rub his eyes — so Edwin wouldn’t have his ear to Charles’ heart when it started beating too fast. "I'm shattered, mate. Dunno what I'm even saying anymore, do I?"

Maybe one of these days, he’d stop being too scared of the fucking size of his own feelings to sit with them a moment.

Maybe they both would.

Edwin sighed, pulling his hand from Charles' waist to pinch at the bridge of his own nose. "I suppose it has gotten rather late." He glanced at the clock, and winced. "Early. You should go and sleep. I'm sure you've had a long day."

Charles hummed, leaving his nice warm spot in Edwin's lap — but his hands didn't leave his shoulders. "C'mon, then," he mumbled, giving them a squeeze. "Bed."

"Better to go without me. I shan't sleep tonight."

"Didn't say anything about sleeping, now, did I?"

Edwin raised his eyebrow.

Charles' brain caught up to his mouth, and he laughed. "Ah — love to, darlin', but. Yeah, seriously, I'm fucking knackered. I meant, like — let's just have a bit of a cuddle, yeah?" He tugged at Edwin's collar where it poked out of his nice green jumper. It was a little crooked — Edwin must've really got into a study groove and unfastened a button or two. Fit as. "I proper fancy a cuddle."

"I'll be restless," said Edwin, all apologetic. "I'll only keep you awake."

Charles hummed, picking up the anthropology textbook and holding it out.

"Keep on reading, then," he said, giving Edwin the big, hopeful eyes he bloody knew he could never say no to. "Just... come read to me instead, yeah?"

Edwin had another dramatic sigh, like it was all such a big ask. He ought to tell that to his fucking smile lines. He took the book — and Charles' hand. "Well. I suppose I can manage that."

~

Charles didn't know how long Edwin stayed awake, in the end. Could've been hours for all he knew, he'd have had no idea — Charles had been asleep in bloody seconds. Head pillowed on Edwin's shoulder, that gorgeous voice rattling off dry old text blocks and making them sound like spoken-word lullabies... how could he resist?

All he knew was when he woke up, it was eleven in the morning, the sun was slanting through the crooked blinds; and Edwin was snoring softly underneath him. His hair a mess, his textbook open on his chest. His arm a slack, warm weight around Charles' shoulders.

Charles smiled, rubbed his dry eyes — forgot to scrub off his eyeliner before he konked out, again. Classic — and settled back in, nestling safe and sound into the the crook of Edwin's arm. Fuck it. It was Saturday. He'd asked Crystal to pick up his shift today, anyway, so him and Edwin could get a little quality time in.

If all they did with that time was sleep, well. Time well spent, innit? It wasn't like a smoke break from life when he did it with Edwin, anyway.

More like... stepping back to enjoy the view.

~~

Thanks for reading my loves, I hope it soothed the ache somewhat 💛 This has been a strange little one because I've essentially had to take something I very much wrote as a one-shot, and build onto what I established. When I wrote that first one-shot I didn't even have a clear idea in my mind for what Edwin was studying or anything! So things will likely change and grow and develop and who knows where we'll end up, but it's nice to see the lads figuring it out alongside me ^_^ Thanks for reading guys! It's been a bit of a long silence from me since Painland Week ended but I promise I'm working on stuff, including the next chapter of Lonely Bones! Regardless of what has happened to the show or whether it gets picked up or not, my plan is to keep writing and creating for it for as long as it sparks joy to do so - and seeing as I've made some amazing friends in this fandom, I think I'm gonna be here a while! I sure hope you guys are, too 💛 (p.s. if you are over 18, trustworthy with semi-secret identities, and like weird rarepair smut, feel free to DM me for my side Ao3 that I'm sure will be getting some action over the next few months xD)