#how to pray istikhara step by step

[islamicspecialistforloveback]

Learn here How to Do Online Istikhara

Online Istikhara,” Most people are goal-directed and in search of the right guidance to accomplish more in his/her existence. Istikhara is regarded as a sacred learning resource when guidance can be involved. If you are uncertain about the consequences of virtually any work or confound at a certain point in life, istikhara cannot simply help for guidance and also reduce the probability of…

[talhanoblemarriage]

How to Pray Istikhara for Marriage Before Considering a Proposal?

Learn how to pray Istikhara for marriage with a step-by-step guide to seeking Allah's guidance and blessings for choosing the right partner, ensuring a righteous and fulfilling union.

[rueyam]

Salam sis,

Do you have some advice for me pls. You don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to, it’s totally fine <3

I’ve been talking with a guy for marriage purposes. We’ve kept everything as halal as possible. We have right know been going out 7 times. He tics all the basics and boxes I’ve asked him about (children, future, job, economics etc) but one thing that makes me still not feel attracted to him is his looks. Like mashAllah he is tall with good beard good character, well spoken, smart but I don’t feel any connection towards him grow. I’ve prayed istikhara for a long time now and I still don’t find any attraction. I’m more on the side to cut the ties then to move on with him, but at the same time I don’t want to loose a good opportunity like this. I have told him that my feelings are not there yet and it could maybe take a long time. Which he replied very kindly and said it’s fine that I shouldn’t worry about it. I even told him about my health conditions which he accepted with no problem. Such a good guy, but why don’t I feel attracted :((((?? Idk am I to picy?

Every time I got back home after our meetings it doesn’t sit right with me. I don’t feel butterflies when I meet him. It’s very formel. They are very formel even within his family and I don’t like that.

The thing is in Islam we don’t take the same steps as non Muslims, we have to do it in a specific way to keep things halal, which also can make it sometimes “harder” do develop feelings for someone. I know that most of it comes after marriage but shouldn’t I feel something for him before? Is it stupid to cancel him when he has all the good boxes but I don’t feel attracted to him? And if a give it more time and time and time, but for how long? I don’t want to end up wasting mine his and his families time to see if I develop more feelings, but later only to end up canceling it after a long period when I could had done it earlier.

Im also afraid of not finding a potential again and I’m not getting younger. Me and my family don’t have many ties either so it’s harder to find someone to get married to. I’m 28 yo and this was my first time going out and getting to know a man in this way sooo….

Salam <3

wa alaykumsalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh <3

first i’m glad about your efforts to keep things halal, this is where the barakah comes from and makes your path easier inshAllah. no matter how rational you have to be in a matter of marriage, emotionality is significant. you have to feel a level of attraction towards your partner, else becoming happy with him will not work, no matter how good of a person he is. and yes, there is a chance to fall in love with him with time, but no one can guarantee you that and a marriage just to get married is not something for the long run. not for you, nor for him. i am the type who has to fall in love with a person to marry him, some people can rely on logic only… it depends on how you are built.

i like the thought of Allah swt giving us messages through our intuition and it barely fails. i‘m not sure if seven meetings are enough to make a decision like this, but then again, you entrusted me with this because you came to a point. maybe it’s time to take a moment and really dive into your emotions and ask the right questions. do you really want him or a marriage? does he still have the potential for you to fall in love with him or is there no chance from your pov? will his good characteristics convince you or is what you are searching for something else? being good is not enough. you have to be on the same page on a deeper level.

and believe me, recovering from a failed marriage will take longer than waiting for the right man. never hasten in sharing a whole life with someone. no matter what your decision will be, i hope from the bottom of my heart that it will be the right one for you. keep making dua and listen to what your heart has to say, be genuine to yourself and don’t be afraid to reject when you have to. you do this for you and no one else.

[tahyal]

Hi Tahyal!

I don’t know who to talk to about this but I want your advice and then you can delete this post in a few weeks time. Also I’m sorry in advance but this is kind of a long post. 

So, I recently met a guy, he’s Christian and I am Muslim. He has such a hard exterior but I could totally see right through him from the moment I saw him I just saw something special in him. But there are two issues, first the difference in faith. I actually am a muslim revert so I can probably relate to his Christian side and life in a way but as you know I can not marry him. The second thing is the difference in lifestyle, he’s really been through so much, never seen his father and his mother passed away early on. I can relate to some of his traumas but the way he is dealing with them is quite hard. He parties and drinks a lot until he passes out till the next day. Our first deep encounter was when he was drunk and he opened up a lot to me and I realized he was numbing his pain but there was so much inside. He told me he never cried and the last time was when his mom passed away several years ago. I can tell he is trying to hide away from something. I myself can’t imagine not having both mother or father by my side so I don’t know how he is doing it. But at the same time, once he opens up he is so gentle, so loving, so caring and just so sweet beyond imagination. I was slightly intimate with him once although I know I shouldn’t and frankly I don’t want to because I feel guilty and I’m constantly trying to improve my faith, and at the same time I don’t want him to like go through life with me as I don’t want to hold back physical affection from him and sometimes give it depending on the state of my faith. And then the future trajectory of things, I don’t know if we will ever be able to make it together considering the difference in faith. And at the same time I’m scared of losing something so good as I see immense goodness in him. I don’t know what to do, Tahyal. I’ve only been praying but I’m such an anxious and impatient person and can’t think straight right now. Your advice would be immensely beneficial. Thank you for providing this platform honestly may Allah bless you forever. 

Hi! Sorry Im only getting to this now.

As you said yourself you aren’t able to think straight right now, so the first thing I’ll suggest is to take a step back to truly gather your thoughts, reflect properly, and perhaps make istikhara to confirm things. Trying to find a solution in the state that you’re currently in will only torture you and create endless chatter in your mind. Calm yourself down first, and then think about it from a more stable place.

Now here is my personal opinion : don’t put yourself in a sticky and unsure situation simply because you can « kind of » see some good in someone. You are not responsible for his healing, sure you can help, but you don’t have to involve yourself in something that might hurt you in the end, or that keeps you in a state of limbo in which you don’t know where you’re heading. Relationships aren’t easy, but they’re also not meant to be that complicated. You should be with someone that inspires stability, safety, certainty, and peace in you and in your life.

From what Ive read it seems like you’re spending more energy on him than yourself, this is not good. At the end of the day the decision belongs to you, but just make sure you don’t lose yourself!

[islamicduaformyloverback]

How to perform istikhara in the islamic way - Qurani Prayer

Introduction:-How to perform istikhara in an islamic wayHow to perform istikhara step-by-stepHow to perform istikhara in an islamic wayHow many times to pray istikharaHow to perform supplication Introduction:- The literal meaning of istikhara is to ‘seek goodness from that Almighty Allah’. How to perform istikhara in an islamic way The idea is to basically seek Allah Miyan’s guidance. As to…

[recitedua]

How to Do Istikhara for Someone You Love - Pray Istikhara For Love Marriage

Learn the sacred art of seeking divine guidance with our comprehensive guide on how to perform istikhara for someone you love. Discover step-by-step instructions on how to pray istikhara for love, empowering you to make informed decisions in matters of the heart. Explore the significance of istikhara for love marriage and unlock the spiritual insights needed to navigate romantic relationships with wisdom and clarity. Find solace and direction in love at https://recitedua.com/istikhara-for-someone-you-love.

[sabrgirl]

As-salamu alaykum Sabrgirl! I have a question if you don’t mind me asking that is. I have been struggling with prayer, wudu, and memorization and I don’t know how to make my efforts better. I, for some reason am not able to remember the steps or the recitations that are required and I don’t know how to make it easier for myself. It is the first time that I am really trying to make an effort and yet I don’t feel like I have made enough progress or impact to improve my salat or my memorization. I can’t balance life and belief either so please help in any way you can. Anything would be appreciated, jazakallah khair for reading and may allah help you, I, and others with these last 10 days (and nights) of Ramadan! Allahumma ameen.

wa alaikum salam wa rahmatullah. i'm sooooo sorry for replying to this ask months late, i was so busy with exams and balancing that with ramadan at the time and then it got lost in my inbox. i'm not sure if you still need help on this or if you're still around... but i'll answer it anyway.

with the wudhu steps, if you haven't already memorised it by now, you can always print out the steps and stick it on your bathroom wall. in my university's prayer room, we have that on the bathroom and i know it helps converts/people who haven't memorised the steps yet. as long as it doesn't have any dua's on it, it should be fine. overtime, it should be able to help you remember.

if you're also talking about salat and remembering what to do in it, there are lots of youtube videos you can watch over until you remember it! i know that some people also write down what to recite and do on paper or they have a book and hold it as they pray until they remember it. it's not bad to do that - you're allowed to read from paper if you don't know it. i do that when i pray istikhara because i still don't have that dua memorised.

also take it step by step. there are quite a lot of things to recite during salat and it most likely won't be an overnight complete memorisation. give yourself some grace and memorise what needs to be recited turn by turn. as long as you try your best no matter what your best looks like each day, it's pleasing to Allah.

as for balancing life and religion, that's a common struggle so you're definitely not alone in that :) my advice would be to base your life around your religion, rather than religion around your life. an example of this is planning your day around your prayers. you know there are 5 prayers, so what will you do between fajr and zuhr, and then zuhr and asr? that way you're not planning your day (life) first then fitting your prayers (religion) in after and then thinking at some point during the day 'oh i have to pray now'.

i pray this is of some help and i'm so sorry again for such a late response :( may Allah make it easy for you, Ameen ♡

[loveduaghar]

Dua of Istikhara For Marriage – The Ultimate Guide

Marriage is an extensive choice that affects the rest of your life, so picking the right person is essential for a happy and healthy marriage. Many Muslims use Istikhara, a practice that involves a specific prayer or dua, to get help from God. In this piece, We will discuss what Istikhara means and the dua of Istikhara for marriage. We will also talk about how important it is and how it can help people make intelligent choices when they are looking for a life partner.

Istikhara’s Significance in Marriage

Marriage is a promise to be together for life, so it’s normal to feel nervous and unsure when picking a partner. Muslims can ask God to help them make this vital choice through Istikhara. People can seek clarity in their minds and ask Allah for wisdom by saying the Istikhara dua. This helps them make a better decision. For more information, you can visit Loveduaghar.com.

How to Pray Istikhara Step-by-Step

It’s the same as any other prayer, and you can’t do it without first making Wudu because Tahrah is so essential in Islam. Now let’s go over each step of how to pray Istikhara: 

How to Do Istikhara 

Here is the Istikhara dua, along with an English translation and a transliteration.

Istikhara dua in Arabic

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْتَخِيرُكَ بِعِلْمِكَ وَأَسْتَقْدِرُكَ بِقُدْرَتِكَ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ فَضْلِكَ الْعَظِيمِ، فَإِنَّكَ تَقْدِرُ وَلاَ أَقْدِرُ وَتَعْلَمُ وَلاَ أَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتَ عَلاَّمُ الْغُيُوبِ، اللَّهُمَّ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الأَمْرَ خَيْرٌ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاقْدُرْهُ لِي وَيَسِّرْهُ لِي ثُمَّ بَارِكْ لِي فِيهِ، وَإِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الأَمْرَ شَرٌّ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاصْرِفْهُ عَنِّي وَاصْرِفْنِي عَنْهُ، وَاقْدُرْ لِي الْخَيْرَ حَيْثُ كَانَ ثُمَّ أَرْضِنِي بِهِ

Transliteration

Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi’ilmika, Wa astaqdiruka bi-qudratika, Wa asaluka min fadlika al-‘azim Fainnaka taqdiru Wala aqdiru, Wa ta’lamu Wala a’lamu, Wa anta ‘allamu l-ghuyub. Allahumma, in kunta ta’lam anna hadha-l-amra (mention the matter here for which you are seeking Allah’s Guidance) Khairun li fi dini wa ma’ashi wa’aqibati amri Faqdirhu li wa yas-sirhu li thumma barik li Fihi, Wa in kunta ta’lamu anna hadhalamra shar-run li fi dini wa ma’ashi wa’aqibati amri Fasrifhu anni was-rifni anhu. Waqdir li al-khaira haithu kana Thumma ardini bihi.’

Prayer of Istikhara in English

“O Allah, I come to You because You know everything and I beg You to give me power because You are all-powerful. I ask for Your great favor because You have power and I don’t, and you know everything that is hidden.” Oh, God! 

If you know that this matter (then name the matter for which you seek Allah’s guidance) is good for my faith, way of life, and life after death, then make it easy for me. And if you know that this matter is bad for my faith, my way of life, and my life after death, then keep it away from me and take me away from it. Pick what is good for me wherever it is, and make me happy with it.”

When to Pray Istikhara

Now that you know step-by-step how to pray Istikhara, you should find out when is the best time to do it. There is agreement among Islamic experts that people can say the Istikhara prayer at any time of the day or night that is legal and convenient for them. This is because it is a Sunnah prayer. On the other hand, stories from the Companions of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) say that the last third of the night is the best time to have your prayers answered. 

“Our Lord, the Blessed, the Superior, comes every night down on the nearest heaven to us when the last third of the night remains,” Abu Huraira (RA) said. “Is there anyone to invoke Me so that I may respond to invocation?” Does anyone need to ask me something so I can give him what he wants? Is there someone who wants my forgiveness so I can forgive them?” This is what Sahih Al-Bukhari says. 

On another occasion, Abu Umamah (RA) said that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) was asked, “When does prayer get the most attention?” “A prayer made in the middle of the last part of the night and after the end of the required prayers,” he (PBUH) responded. The Sunan At-Tirmidhi 

Another question many people have is whether to sleep after dosa. And the answer is no, you don’t have to go to sleep immediately after Istikhara. Moreover, you can talk with our Maulana- Rijwan Khan. 

Performing the Istikhara Dua for Marriage

The Istikhara dua for marriage is a simple but powerful prayer that anyone can say to ask Allah to help them choose a spouse. When you say this, dua, you should be honest, patient, and have an open heart. Here are the steps you need to take to say dua of Istikhara for marriage: 

Preparation: Begin by purifying oneself with ablution (wudu) and finding a clean, peaceful place to focus without interruptions.

Recite the Istikhara Prayer: Begin by praising Allah (SWT) and blessing the Prophet Muhammad. Then, the Istikhara prayer, which consists of two units (rak’ahs) of voluntary prayers, is performed. You can recite any surah or verse from the Quran you know during these rak’ahs.

Recite the Istikhara Dua: After finishing the voluntary prayers, it’s time to say the Istikhara Dua. The dua goes as follows:

Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi ‘ilmika wa astaqdiruka bi qudratika wa as’aluka min fadlika al-’azim fa innaka taqdiru wa la aqdiru wa ta’lamu wa la a’lamu wa anta ‘allamul-ghuyub. Allahumma in kunta ta’lamu anna hadha-l-amra khairun li fi dini wa ma’ashi wa ‘aqibati amri, faqdirhu li wa yassirhu li thumma barik li fihi. Wa in kunta ta’lamu anna hadha-lamra sharrun li fi dini wa ma’ashi wa ‘aqibati amri, fasrifhu anni wasrifni ‘anhu waqdir li al-khaira haithu kana thumma ardini bihi.”

[halaldua]

How To Pray Istikhara In 7 Steps

Are you seeking clarity and assurance in choosing your life partner? Istikhara for marriage will help you in choosing your life partner. With the help of Istikhara, you will be able to choose your right life partner and spend your life happily with them. If you want to know more about it, you can also contact our Molvi Ji. To know more, you can visit: https://halaldua.com/istikhara-dua-for-marriage/

[anotheraldin]

Assalamu Alaykum,

How are you doing? I you’re well insha’Allah.

I apologise for bothering you again. Your advice was very reasonable and I’d like to kindly request you to advise me again if it’s okay with you and you’re in a place to do so.

I’m the anon who asked you for advice on the guy who gave up as soon as his father ended things while we were about to get engaged.

I’ve been really struggling and I guess what makes it harder is the fact that he never reached out even for the last time. For the past whole week, I’ve been struggling with wanting to text him for the last time maybe in an attempt to have some sort of closure. But I’m also worried he might manipulate me again into believing he is somehow the victim and that might just derail whatever progress I’m trying to make. Not to mention the fact that his dad texted my uncle to tell me to not contact him or his son makes me worried that he might disrespect my family again. But I feel like this one last attempt to reach out to him will help me move on too because I guess then it would be clear to me that he knows what he’s doing and he’s okay with the decision he is making. Can you please advise?

Secondly, there were times I prayed for things to end as well because I was very anxious and terrified of marrying him. Ever since his parents met me for the first time, they’ve constantly caused issues just because of where I was from. Even back then, his behaviour had changed drastically the moment they weren’t in favour.

He went from being the guy who was reassuring me that he would handle everything even if his parents weren’t in favour just a few days ago to the guy who just constantly talked about things not working out and asking me to marry someone else. Eventually he also made up a reason to come see me without wanting to inform either of our families as this may be “the last time we were seeing each other because he didn’t know what decision his parents were going to make.”

Despite the fact that I was begging and struggling for 4-5 months to him for some sort of reassurance, communication and even clarity, he saw my pain and suffering and used to do nothing except sitting around waiting for them to make a decision. Never giving any clarity on the “efforts” he claimed to be making. It was only after constant pain and suffering and those 4-5 months that felt like a living nightmare that he eventually decided to have a serious conversation with his parents and they gave in right away.

So the fact that it was that easy and simple for him to get them to agree and yet he refused to do anything had terrified me to my core due his lack of empathy and consideration for me and when his parents agreed, he switched up and went back to being the same sweet and emotional guy and gaslighted and manipulated me again into believing why he allowed me to suffer for this long and I decided to give him a chance.

Due to this fear, although I prayed istikhara and made lots of duas for him and his family to be better for me and vice verse and things to work out, sometimes I got so scared that I used to pray for things to end. Now I constantly feel heartbroken and guilty thinking about having made this dua and the possibility that Allah might have accepted it. How do I get over this?

Jazak Allahu khayran. May Allah reward you and ease your affairs, aameen.

Wa 'Alaikum As-Salaam!

I'm hanging in there. About to have some food and insha'Allah go buy that green sweater afterwards. Your since du'a's are always appreciated.

Your question hit the feels and it was personal to you so I tried to answer it to the best of my ability. I'll try to answer this in steps.

It's normal to feel that way and before doing so, you really need to have a heart to heart with yourself if you want to do that while overlooking previous actions and what's currently going on, as a way to possibly re-establish connection to avoid processing the feelings you're experiencing currently away from this person, or because you feel it's truly worth to continue fighting for this person.

I don't necessarily know your culture so I can't say too much about the objections about the location. That could be something they publicly voiced and it could be an entirely different issue altogether, or it could be just your birthplace. It's possible the more they brought up the issue to him, the more it lessened his resolve for this.

5 months is a long time to push this issue and not get anywhere. I'd say it sounds like you really wanted this and believed in it more than he possibly did. You know your interactions with him and it's worth having an honest conversation with yourself when it comes to evaluating them to see where he stood without any possible jadedness.

Both of you sound so young so maybe this is just me over-examining through older eyes, and not letting you both experience life and mistakes that come with it as well. Maybe he just needs something to happen that'll make him commit to you, but that sounds uncomfortable to write at my age as those seem like intrinsic things when it comes to marriage. I don't know anon, it's not a simple thing to just say as this is a bond between two people that I don't want to say anything to disrupt. You really, really gotta do some serious evaluating over things during this period. Maybe discuss it with friends who've seen you go through this to see what they think as well.

I don't really have an answer about the last one to be honest with you. I'd say maybe ask one of the sisters on here who happen to be from a similar background as you to see their perspective on what you're experiencing. They might provide you with a better outlook.

[islamicremedies]

How to do Istikhara for marriage

How to do Istikhara for marriage

Can you pray to Allah about love We all make mistakes in life. But, some mistakes are more grave than others. Salat Istikhara For Love Back At times, due to our weakness like anger, we end up breaking up with the person that we love. We have all heard about stories of love where two people broke up but they were never able to get over the other person. How to Do Salat Istikhara If you are also…

[islamicspecialistforloveback]

Istikhara For Nikah Problem Solution

I have been observing Muslim youngsters recently, seems they are too confused about their marriage (nikah) – ISTIKHARA FOR NIKAH Besides, they fall in love with someone, then they struggle. Even they could not be able to share these issues with their family members. I am receiving these kinds of emails to make an Istekhara for their marriage problems. I request you all not to commit this sin.…

[rueyam]

Salam <3

Yes, such a good character, may Allah bless him. And yes time will reveal inshaAllah. My thoughts goes back and forth. I feel like we should maybe meet once again and see how it goes, maybe that could help me get a final closer at least. If I say no on Sunday I’m afraid I will regret it, regret that I didn´t try for the last time. But at the same time, every time I went out with him and gave it a new chance and still nothing involved emotionally. Time will tell. Whatever happens will be for the best inshaAllah. Ive been praying istikhara a lot and will keep doing it. Allah is the all knowing. If i end up saying no i just need to put full trust in Allah and not overthink it, as you said overthinking can destroys everything.

BarakAllahu feek!

Salam <3

wa alaykum salam, you’re doing everything right and in an exemplary manner, Allah swt will help you inshAllah. khayr. i also believe that this meeting will bring you closer to your final decision. lmk how it went! may Allah swt help you in taking the right step 🤍

[julaibib]

As salaam alaikum

I had a question regarding performing istikhara. I’m a revert and so not too sure on how the istikhara is to be done and the step by step of it (what to do, to say etc). I haven’t been able to find any proper information or resource on it either. Would appreciate if you can guide me on how to do it as there’s been many instances where I’ve needed to do it but didn’t know how.

JazakAllah khair

وعليكم السلام

Wa iyykum

Make Intention for Istikhāra 2 Pray 2 Rakaʿāt of Prayer 3 Recite the duʿāʾ of istikhāra and mention your need

then say:

O Allah, I seek Your guidance [in making a choice] by virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not. You are the Knower of hidden things. O Allah, if in Your knowledge, this matter (then it should be mentioned by name) is good for me both in this world and in the Hereafter (or: in my religion, my livelihood and my affairs ), then ordain it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me. And if in Your knowledge it is bad for me and for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs (or: for me both in this world and the next), then turn me away

[recitedua]

Learn the sacred art of seeking divine guidance with our comprehensive guide on how to do istikhara for someone you love. Discover step-by-step instructions on how to pray istikhara for love, empowering you to make informed decisions in matters of the heart. Explore the significance of istikhara for love marriage and unlock the spiritual insights needed to navigate romantic relationships with wisdom and clarity. Find solace and direction in love at https://recitedua.com/istikhara-for-someone-you-love

[sisterssafespace]

Salaam ukhti, I do not know what to do. I’ve been talking to a guy for a while now. My mother knows about him she’s happy for us to be wed. Alhamdulilah

So, this guy & I are from different cultures. I’m african he’s indian & I have no problem with that. In terms of his deen he’s perfect for me. The last step was for him to meet my father; I spoke to my father before they met told him he’s asian not african. He seemed completely okay with it at the time. Anyway, on the day he rang him and he hung up to call me. He said a lot of negative things I won’t repeat.

But, my issue is that he didn’t even try to meet him because of his ethnicity? The worse part is I have a strained relationship with him already (we don’t live together). So, the fact he couldn’t even meet a prospective guy for me his daughter his youngest child makes it worse.

Ever since then, we haven’t been speaking and he’s being really rude to me. Constantly making sly remarks about me because he asked what I did. I was angry because he knows he put me in a horrible situation. Since I had to go back to the guy to tell him my father couldn’t come because of an ‘emergency’.

My mother came up with the solution of her older brother going to meet the guy instead. To be honest, I understand why because my uncle speaks better english so they can communicate which I’m grateful for. But, it’s upsetting knowing my dad didn’t even try and I do not know if my uncle can even mehr me if my dad doesn’t say yes.

- ☁️

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuhu dear sister, I hope you are feeling better by the time you are reading this.

Let me start by saying that your ask hit a not close to home for I can relate on some points. Allahu al'mustaān.

Now, before getting into the story, let me just answer your last question about whether your uncle (brother to your mom) could marry you, if your father doesn't cooperate. Well, I know I clarified in the bio and the opening post that this page doesn't give fatwahs but this is not a fatwah as the fatwah is already there and all over the internet , and it's ' common knowledge ' unfortunately no, the brother of the mother doesn't have the authority to marry the girl off in Islam. In fact, there is a sequence or list of ' wali-s ' who can marry her and in case the father wasn't capable of doing that, then it is the paternal grandfather, then the brother, then the half brother (from her father's side), then her father's brother, then her father's half-brother, then her paternal cousin (son of her father's brother), then son of her father's half-brother, then in case all of them are not available or they don't agree, then it's taken up to the Judge. See, there is no family member from the mother's side in that lineage. Just to be clear.

However, we should consider alllllll the other options that you have before thinking of the worst case scenario, sis. Because even if your father wasn't the greatest man and you don't have the strongest relationship with him, you don't want to start this important chapter of your life on the wrong foot, by upsetting him more, or ruining your chances to fix things with him. It will only complicate the situation more. And keep in mind: it is not permissible to get married without a wali, as prophet Muhammad ﷺ said : There is no marriage without the permission of a guardian.

Now let's see what we are dealing with, I don't know the reasons why your father is having this position - but one can only imagine.. However, Islam is innocent from all these ideologies, interracial and mixed marriage were never a problem in Islam and Allah swt and his Prophet ﷺ never forbid nor advised against marrying someone from a different ethnicity. In fact, the Prophet ﷺ said : "When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care) of one of you, then marry to him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and abounding discord (Fasad)."

So, if the only reason why your father is not approving of this marriage is that the potential partner is from a different ethnicity, then your father is in the wrong and he will be accountable on his part. But there isn't much you can do without his approval. So what can you do instead? Is there any uncles from your father's side? A grandfather? An authoritarian family member? Or your local Imam or someone that your father actually values and listens to that you can actually talk to? To convince him to at least give the man a chance? And yes your uncle from your mother's side could talk to the guy and get to know him and maybe then he could tell your father about his qualities and how he is in shaa Allah a perfect fit for you, but again, he can't marry you off.

Now, I am sharing with you the feedback of a sister who is Alhamdulillah in a mixed marriage, she has been thru your experience and is now Alhamdulillah happily married, may Allah bless her and her family : "I understand her pain. They're judging him before even meeting him.. I don't know if there's much she can do tho. I think it's most likely that her father needs time to get used to the idea. He didn't expect her to marry out of the culture, that's a hard pill to slick for a lot of elder people. The advice I can give is to give it time and pray for it. Intercultural relationships is almost normal for our generation but it isn't for the generations before us. We have to keep that in consideration.

Also, if her uncle gets to meet the guy, maybe he can tell her father how great he is especially when it comes to deen. And her mother knows her father the best, she can eventually also speak in on his mindset and make him see that he's wrong to judge someone he hasn't even met.

I pray that her father 'wakes up' and realizes that culture doesn't matter. The only thing that will bring them to jannah, is their deen, and alhamdulillah he's perfect for her deen-wise. May Allah ease their affairs and bring them together in marriage. ❤️"

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I will finish with this meaningful insight from islamqa.org "While family members may think they are acting in the best interest of their children, there are many cases in which the refusal of parents is based on incorrect presumptions and understandings that stem from their own, distinct experiences and contexts that their children may not necessarily share.

In such cases, if someone does believe they have genuinely found someone suitable for marriage, whether from a different race/culture or not, and their parents still prove to be difficult, they should try to convince them with wisdom and tact, and take all appropriate means to make them see the merits of the decision.

Parents certainly have a right to be concerned about the future of their children, but since it is not the parents entering into the marriage, children also need to make sure they are not being forced into decisions that will adversely effect them in the future."

And most importantly (from the same source) "You should know that marriages are destined by Allah, All-Wise. So if this marriage is facilitated for you, then it will happen, and if not, then it won’t. And in either case, there is wisdom behind this that you are not aware of, so you should pray salat al-istikharah for ease in this matter if it should be good for you. It is best that you take the path of benevolence and kindness in these kinds of issues and don’t rush things lest you aggravate the problems."

To conclude, my dear sister, I KNOW that when we are inn love/ or when we start getting attached to someone, we let our imagination run wild, we build hopes and dreams involving them, we want to be with them asap and we let ourselves get carried away, I know for a fact that you'd want to rush things and just get married to this guy and get it over with, I feel you, I relate to you, I understand you perfectly. But sometimes that's not how life works for a) there's Allah's timing for everything and b) there's Allah's plan for us. We think we are choosing and we think we are planning but it's just an illusion, at the end of the day it's only Allah's plan that works. That's why I pray that your choice matches what Allah swt has already chosen for you, and your plan confirms with Allah's plan for you. Please please please pray Istikhara times and times and times again, tell your guy to pray Istikhara as well, and sis, duāa is your only way out of this. Try to pray Tahajjud (night prayer) if you can, I heard a saying a while ago that anyone who has any need from Allah swt should never miss a Tahajjud prayer. In the quiet of the last third of the night, when everyone else is sleeping, just you and your broken words and you crying heart sincerely and humbling asking for Allah's help and guidance. It works miracles ✨

In shaa Allah kheir my dear, may Allah swt guide you, and bring what's kheir for you closer, and grant you what your heart is wishing for. May Allah swt have mercy on your heart and not allow it to be broken over this matter. Ameen. 🤍

- A. Z. 🍃