#how to make Pom Pom's breakfast (don't do this at home):

[mrdrhenwardhykle]

Idk if you can do anything with this but Pom Pom uses the marshmallows in Lucky Charms like seasoning to everything she eats.

[blubushie]

im gonna be real with you i do NOT know what vegemite is what is that

On a literal level, it's yeast extract.

Remember how I said Aussies love beer? In order to make beer you need yeast. It's a whole bloody process, but the gist is that when you're done brewing the beer, you get a bunch of leftover yeast. This is normally completely useless, but in 1902 a German bloke named Justus von Liebig came up with the bright idea of "Wait, instead of wasting the yeast, why don't we just eat it?"

"That's a stupid idea because it tastes terrible and no one would eat it," everyone said, but von Liebig wouldn't be deterred! So he slapped some spices in there for flavouring and bam, edible yet still disgusting yeast extract.

The poms liked this idea and as poms are wont to do, they stole it. Branded it Marmite, and shipped it out to Commonwealth countries around the world.

That worked out all fine and dandy until WWI hit and the poms suddenly found themselves in desperate need to conserve this wonderful (ech) source of Vitamin B. They saved it for the troops only. Most of the breweries were shut down in the war and converted into munitions productions and depots, so for a time Marmite was merely a ghost of the past for civilians.

Until the Aussies came along.

"Oi!" some bloke said to some other bloke, "It's been a year since the war ended. Where's our fuckin' Marmite?" But alas, his longing went unanswered.

So he said fuck all that noise and decided "Well, fuck the poms, we'll make the shit ourselves!"

So they did. Fred Walker, (a M*lburnian, ech) decided to hire a bloke called Cyril Callister to figure out how the fuck the poms made Marmite, and instead make something even better.

And, as Aussies love our beer, he turned to Calton & United Brewery, who happens to be the brewery WHAT MAKES VICTORIA BITTER. (It's a conspiracy, do you understand?) They also make Foster's, but we don't discuss fucking FOSTER'S on this blog.

So he took yeast extract, mixed it with TOO MUCH FUCKING SALT, added some celery and onion extract, and bam: breakfast tar! Then he gave his daughter--WHO WAS NAMED SHEILAH--the job of naming the new, better Marmite. And she went "Well, there's veggies in there, innit?" And he just nodded. "Call it vegemite."

AND SO VEGEMITE WAS BORN.

It hit the market in 1923, immediately failed, and in 1928 went under a rebrand of "Parwill" ("Because if Marmite [ma might] then Parwill [pa will]) and this didn't last long--it was changed back to Vegemite in 1935.

In 1925 Fred Walker helped found Kraft, an American company (Kraft cheese, anyone?) So Walker used Kraft's newfound success to promote Vegemite. This... actually worked, surprisingly. In 1939 the British Medical Association officially backed Vegemite as a great source of Vitamin B, and when WWII hit, it was included in civilian rations across the country. By the late 1940s, Vegemite was found in 9/10 Australian homes.

And it stuck. Its billionth jar was sold in 2008, and in 1984 it was the first-ever product to be electronically scanned in an Australian checkout.

We're all happy little Vegemites!

[crowhyun]

The First Day of Christmas

beomgyu x reader fluff

AN: This is the first part of the “12 Days of Christmas” series that I wrote (and still haven’t finished writing) during the christmas season last year. Now, I’m reposting each one for everyone to enjoy!

words: 2.7k

warnings: nothing rlly, just rlly rlly fluffy goodness bcs we all need that every once and a while. there’s just a hint of suggestiveness near the end, though.

7:00 AM

    You woke up to the sound of "All I Want for Christmas is You" blasting throughout your house. You furrowed your brows, grabbing at your sheets as you lifted your head towards your open bedroom door. Squinting your eyes, you were greeted by a wide awake Beomgyu, who was dancing with a big smile on his face.

"Wake up! It's Christmas morning!" He all but yelled.

"Mmph." You groaned, your head falling back on your pillow and your eyes closing. You heard Beomgyu's footsteps come closer before you felt a heavy weight right on top of you.

"Wake up, (Y/N)." He said. "You promised that we'd start the Christmas festivities early."

"Hm. What time is it?" You mumbled.

"Around 7." He said.

"Wha- is that not too early?" You asked, opening your eyes and looking at him with a frown.

"Nope!" He smiled. "Help me cook breakfast, I might burn the house down!"

"I can help you if you get off me." You said. "I have to pee."

"Okay, I'll wait for you!" He said with a large smile, getting off of you. You chuckled at his excitement, getting out of bed and dragging yourself to the bathroom. You knew that the Christmas excitement was going to hit soon after your grogginess went away, and then you'd be able to share Beomgyu's excitement.

After using the bathroom, you brushed your teeth and washed your face awake. The moment you walked out of the bathroom, you bumped into Beomgyu with a yelp. You were about to nag at him before you saw what the he held on his hands.

"Matching ugly sweaters!" He cheered. The sweaters were both green with christmas trees on it, sparkly pom-poms being the ornaments. "We can take cute pictures together with these on! And we can pair them with christmas hats!"

     Beomgyu stood in excitement as he watched you put it on, the fabric scratchy, but tolerable.

     "Aren't you just the cutest?" He fanboyed, kissing you on the cheek.

     "Of course I am." You smiled. "What were we going to cook for breakfast, again?"

7:30 AM

      You placed the chocolate chips in the pancake batter, unknown to Beomgyu. He was too occupied with making the hot chocolate and home made marshmallows.

       "You got it, baby?" You asked him, looking over to see if all was going well.

       "Yeah, the marshmallows are surprisingly easy to make." He said. "I'll make them into little heart shapes. Ask me why. Go on, ask me why."

       "Why?" You rolled your eyes.

       "Because it represents my love for you."

       "Oh, how sweet." You giggled, half sarcastically, half not. You brought the pancakes batter to the hot pot on the stove. Just like Beomgyu decided to make the marshmallows into hearts, you decided to make the pancakes into hearts. You smiled at your work, so far, as you poured the pancake batter into the molds.

       "Ah, look at that." Beomgyu said, approaching behind me. "You little copy-cat."

       "Oh, shush, I thought it would be cute." You shrugged.

       "You're cute." He smiled, eyeing your reaction, which was just an eyeroll.

       "That hot chocolate better be good." You said.

       "It'll be perfect, don't worry." He said. You felt his hand on your jaw, turning your head to his. You took your eyes off of the cooking pancakes for a second, him giving you a soft kiss.

       "H-hey, don't distract me..." You said, feeling butterflies in your stomach. He just laughed, turning back to what he was doing before. You smiled to yourself, flipping the pancakes. "Gyu, did you notice the chocolate chips in the pancakes?"

       "Oh?" He turned back, looking at the pancakes.

       "They taste really good this way." You said.

       "I bet they do." He said. "You make everything perfect."

8:00 AM

       The both of you only sat down to eat after taking numerous pictures of your breakfast. The pancakes were perfect hearts, some a little wonky, but they tasted good nonetheless, especially paired with the strawberries and hot chocolate.

       "It's time to open presents, now!" Beomgyu said, slipping over to the large Christmas tree that was heavily decorated. Beomgyu and you had even created your own ornaments to decorate the tree with, pictures ranging from beautiful to funny on the tree. There weren't many presents under the tree, but that didn't matter.

       "You open a present, first." You said, handing him a green wrapped present with a white sparkling bow on the top. It was so hard to buy presents for people in general, but it was harder for men, for some reason.

"Oooh, what could it be?" He smiled brightly, wiggling in excitement.

"Don't expect too much..." You said, feeling a bit nervous. He started to rip it open, the paper falling from the box, revealing a shoe box with the nike logo on it.

"Wait a minute...wait a minute!" Beomgyu exclaimed. "Before I open this...it's what i'm thinking it is, right?"

"I can't tell you that, just open it, Gyu." You chuckled, nudging his arm. He bit his lip, placing his hand to where he could open the box slowly. At the full reveal, he yelled out, "Ha! You remembered! The Jordan MA2's!"

"Do you like it?" You asked him, still feeling a bit nervous.

"Do I like it? I love it!" He took the shoe out of the box, holding it up and admiring it. He then brought it up to his nose, sniffing the new shoe smell. You gave him a weird look, it changing to a smile when he engulfed you into a big bear hug. "Thank you, baby!" He shook you in his arms, then parted from you. "I'll wear these on our next date."

"Well, I'm glad you like it." You chuckled.

"This one is your present." He said, putting the shoebox to the side, and reaching for a small box. "Don't worry about the size, it's nicer than it seems."

You giggled in excitement, taking the box from him. "You know I don't care about size or expense, Gyu. I would be happy without a present, anyways."

"That's a lie."

"You might be right." You said, then shrugged it off, unwrapping the small box, revealing a jewelry box. "Is it a necklace?" You gasped, looking at the Tiffany & co. label. "Tiffany & Co.? That's expensive!"

"Don't worry about that! Just open it!"

You opened the velvety textured box, revealing a pearl necklace, the pearls small and elegant. It was almost like something you'd see the beautiful lead actress in a 40s movie wear. "Oh my gosh...this is so pretty, Beomgyu!" Your eyes widened, watching as the christmas tree lights reflected off of the pearls.

"I thought it would really fit you." He said. "They're just as beautiful as you."

"Can you put it on me, please?" You asked him.

"Of course." He said, taking the necklace from you. You turned yourself around on the couch, Beomgyu wrapping the necklace around your neck, and moving your hair out of the way, so he could latch it up in the back. The necklace sat lightly, right under your collarbones. You turned back around to face Beomgyu.

"How does it look?" You asked him. You saw the softness in his eyes as he looked at you, the pearl necklace only enhancing your beauty. "I bet it would look better with a nice dress and better hair."

"It looks perfect on you right now." He said, gently touching the necklace.

"Thank you." You said, getting a bit bashful. "Ah, the last present-" You reached down to get the last one. "It's more for both of us, though." You handed it to him.

"Is it...matching clothes?" He asked, the softness of the present giving it away.

"What's with you and guessing it when you could literally open it right now?" You frowned. He just laughed, ripping open the present. He pulled out two red outfits, both of them resembling Mr. and Mrs.Claus' signature outfits.

"Wah, it looks like you finally came around to willing matching outfits with me." Beomgyu said with a smile. "It really is a merry christmas after all." He wiped a fake tear.

"Ah, shush, I never hated it in the first place." You chuckled. "We can take pictures in these, and fill some of the empty frames we have."

"You're gonna look so good in this." Beomgyu said, his eyes lost as he imagined you in the dress already.

"Well, I could put it on now, if-"

"Wait." He said, putting the dress down. "There's actually one more present I have for you..."

"Oh? Where is it?" You asked, looking back under the tree, which you though had no more presents under it, and from the looks of it, there were no more presents.

He stood up, reaching behind the tree. You watched his every move with curiosity, sitting patiently. You watched as his hand re-emerged from the back of the tree, and in his hand was a small box with the same velvety texture, it's just this was was smaller, and square shaped.

You noticed the bashful look on his face, almost nervous. He had kept such a playful and sweet demeanor all day, so it worried you that he was suddenly nervous.

And then it hit you. In that box was a ring. And on this occasion, at this time in your life...that ring could only mean one thing. But, you didn't want to get excited. You never really imagined this moment happening to you, so it wasn't really happening, right? You didn't want to read too much into it.

But you couldn't help it. Especially when you watched as Beomgyu get on one knee in front of you.

"Oh my god." You blurt out, the whole situation clouding your senses as your face dropped in disbelief. He looked up at you, that same nervous look on his face, his hands shaking with the box in them. "Beomgyu, are you-"

"(Y/N)..." He spoke, voice shaky. "I-I know this might be a surprise, since it's been a while since we've talked about this." He gulped. "And I know we've only been dating for two years...but it feels like I've known you all my life, and...I've loved you since the first week of us dating," He nervously chuckled. "If this is too early, you can tell me, it'll be okay. But..." He held up the box in his shaking hand, his other hand opening it, revealing a rose gold ring with a pearl, just like your necklace. It shined brightly with the simple extravagance of it, but nothing could compare to the full image in front of you. "Will you...will you..." He stuttered, his ears red, and his face flushed.

You smiled, holding your hands up to gently hold his own hands that held the box. "Why are you so nervous?"

He looked you in the eye and gulped.

"Did I not convince you well enough over our years together that I love you?" You asked him. "Ask me." You encouraged, eyes getting teary already.

"(Y/N)..." A small nervous smile flittered across face. "Will you marry me?"

That's when the tear fell. "Yes. Of course, Beomgyu."

Beomgyu's eyes shut tight, as he muttered a thank you, and you chuckled, his cute actions being endearing.

"Well? Are you going to put it on my finger?" You asked him with a smile, your voice shaking as you tried not to break down into joyful tears. He smiled, taking the beautiful ring out of the box, and slipping it onto your awaiting ring finger. After slipping it on, he admired it for a few before placing a soft kiss on your hand.

The both of you giggled, no words needing to be exchanged as he got up and kissed you softly yet passionately, afterwards pulling you into a soul crushing hug.

"I love you so much." He breathed into your neck.

"I love you, too." You replied. "My fiancé."

"That sounds so right." He said, kissing you once more. "And your mom thinks so, too."

"Oh? So you called her and asked her, first?" You asked, and he nodded. You bit your lip to keep from smiling too wide. He was so polite and thoughtful. "This is the best Christmas."

1:00 PM

Flour littered the kitchen counters, the floor, and your bodies. You were unsure how it had made it out and of the bowl and everywhere else, and you knew it would be a struggle to clean it up, but you didn't care at the moment. Your new Mr. and Mrs. Claus outfits had flour on them, but you guys had already taken pictures together.

"Is it supposed to be this sticky, fiancée?" Beomgyu asked, the word being said more than a hundred times already, but you didn't mind, as you were the same.

"Yes, fiancé." You said. "We're supposed to chill the gingerbread dough for a few hours before we shape and bake them."

"Awe, so it won't be finished until later tonight?" He pouted.

"That's what it looks like." You gave him a sad face. "But in the mean time, we can do something else. You have anything in mind?"

"Hm..." He hummed, his eyes trailing over to you and your dress. "Well...our outfits are a bit dirty. We could go in our room and take them off..."

You raised your brow at him, checking to see if he was insinuating what you thought he was. By the look on his face, he definitely was.

"Alright," You smirked, making your way over to the bedroom, loooing at him over your shoulder. "My fiancé could take it off for me, right?"

7:00 PM

By now, the sun was completely replaced by the moon, the only thing lighting up the living room was the christmas tree lights. You and Beomgyu had taken a short nap, waking up together and remembering the gingerbread cookies that you guys wanted to make. Because of that, you guys were both in the kitchen, taking out the chilled dough.

"Beomgyu, I can roll the dough myself-"

"No, no, I insist." He said, coming up behind you. "It's the least that I, your fiancé, can do." He pressed his body to yours against the counter, his arms coming around you to grab the rolling pin.

You admit, the feeling of his body against you was comfortable, but he was being extra.

He started to roll the brown dough from this angle, leaving you to do nothing but laugh. Each roll had him pushing into you, making you feel a little hot. You could tell that Beomgyu was feeling it, too.

"Hey..." He said, his voice low in your ear as he paused with the rolling. "Do you wanna-"

"Let's finish these gingerbread cookies before you complain later." You interrupted him, knowing exactly what he was going to ask.

"Later then." He pouted, going back to rolling.

Once the dough was rolled out, he stopped torturing you, the both of you separating to place the cookie cutters onto it, creating little people.

As you placed the gingerbread men on the cookie sheet, you noticed that Beomgyu was a little too quiet, but you shrugged it off, placing the cookies into the oven to bake.

Once you closed the oven, you turned around to see what your fiancé was up to, only to be met with him right behind you, with a devious smile on his face. You furrowed your brows in confusion. He looked up, and you followed his eyes, noticing that he was holding up a mistletoe.

"Oh, how clever." You scoffed sarcastically.

"Come on, you know the rules." He said. "Don't be naughty."

You rolled your eyes with a smile, grabbing his face and planting a big kiss onto his lips. He laughed before returning the kiss, putting the mistletoe down to hold onto your waist.

Just as the kiss was getting more passionate, he parted from you, your lips chasing him, but he was too busy smiling.

"The Christmas to-do list is finished." He said excitedly.

"Oh, was 'Propose to (Y/N)' on that list?" You laughed.

"You're joking, but yes, it was number 4." He said. "And to kiss you under the mistletoe was the last one."

"Well, I'm happy to help you complete that list."

"Yep." He said, giving you one more kiss. "Now, for New Years..."

[dorindameddler]

les yeux sans visage: a playlist for lonely eyes (spotify)

1. spotlight - jessie ware // 2. shaking - hazel english // 3. savage good boy - japanese breakfast // 4. comfort edge - helena deland // 5. messy - serpentwithfeet // 6. pretty things - big thief // 7. be good - pom pom squad // 8. the eye - waxahatchee // 9. need your love - tennis // 10. cigarette - marika hackman // 11. home to you - cate le bon // 12. devil's spoke - laura marling // 13. eyes without a face - angel olsen // 14. fabric - half waif // 15. melt - nilufer yanya // 16. the last man on earth - wolf alice

selection of lyrics under the cut

spotlight

Do anything to make you stay/Do anything to start the day again/(Ah, ah, ah)/If I had everything my way/We'd travel back and forth and back again/If only I could let you go, if only I could be alone/I just wanna stay in moonlight, this is our time in the spotlight

shaking

When we are together/Do I drive you wild?/You're out of your senses/Easily beguiled/Pray for me/I want to commit sin/Waters deep/But I'm already half in/You're shaking/This is an awakening/You're shaking/I know it's a lot to take in

savage good boy

I want to be your man/I want to be your savage good boy/I want to take care of you/When everybody's gone/Want you to be the one that I come home to/The one that's up waiting/I want to make the money 'til there's no more to be made/And we will be so wealthy, I'm absolved from questioning/That all my bad behavior was just a necessary strain/They're the stakes in the race to win

comfort edge

You'll make it so/It's easy for me to get away from you/Without me having to tell you/Where I go and what I do/And all the while protecting and giving me security/I never have to doubt when I come back/You'll still be there for me/Give me comfort, give me edge/Make it easy, make me beg/Let me come for calm and peace/Never stop surprising me

messy

I've been sitting alone for hours/Waiting for you to bring your ugliest parts to me/I've been naming our thorns for hours/Hoping you'll treat them as kindly as you treated me/Oh, I've been thinking like a beast for hours/Wondering if you like the challenge of cruel men, me/After I glamour you for hours/Will you have the strength/The strength to extinguish me/Each time you deny my mess (each time)/You'll find yourself closer to me, closer to me

pretty things

Matthew, please do not regret/With your silk in my hand/And your heart in my sweat as you're/Lighting the end of my last cigarette/I will warm you/Warm youThese things that lonely ones do/Baby that's what I'm here for/I'll take care and make all your/Wishes come true/If you want to/Do you want to?/Don't take me for a fool/There's a woman inside of me/There's one inside of you, too

be good

Shine your light on me and then/I'm tapping on the glass again/Now I'm in love with everything I see/Because you know that I'm your pet/You left a note before you left/It said, "'Til then, be good and wait for me"

the eye

I leave my home, desolate but not alone/I have a gift, I've been told, for seeing what's there/And I will chase all the rain, put it down, call it paint/To possess something arcane, oh it's a heavy weight/We leave love behind/Without a tear or a long goodbye/And as we wait for lightning to strike/We are enthralled by the calling of the eye

need your love

I need your love/And I need your touch/Like I need a bolt of lightning/From the sky above/I've been thinking about you/Thinking about you/I can't escape you, oh

cigarette

Turn to the headlight glare/Cry and pretend you care/I love it when we make a scene/Something to talk about/Rather than fucking shout/Maybe we could go to sleep/And you tried to hold your tongue/But I, I yanked it from your grip/Bathed it in petroleum/Lit a cigarette and gave you a kiss

home to you

Home to you/Is a neighborhood in the night kitchen/Home to you/Is atrocity in the town/Home to you/Is an impasse under hallway ceilings/Home to you/I'm a cross hair, stubborn, dream loving/And it's home, to you, oh/Home to you, oh/If we meet/And they drink from borrowed cups/You read the room to me/All the changing of the light is torture

devil's spoke

I might be apart of this/Ripple on water from a lonesome drip/A fallen tree that witness me/I'm alone, him and me/And then life it's self can not aspire/To have someone be so admired/I threw creation to my king/Have the silence broken by a whispered wind/All of this can be broken/All of this can be broken/Hold your devil by his spoke and spin him to the ground

eyes without a face

I'm all out of hope/One more bad dream could bring a fall/When I'm far from home/Don't call me on the phone to tell me you're alone/It's easy to deceive, it's easy to tease/But hard to get release/Eyes without a face/(Les yeux sans visage) Eyes without a face/(Les yeux sans visage) Eyes without a face/Got no human grace, you're eyes without a face

fabric

Have I forgotten how to be alone? I blame you/Your colors in my mood, your body in my room/To be a bird and tuck my head into my feathered neck/Watch all the world turn black, wish I could live like that/But you keep breaking me apart/You keep making me a part/And I'm too tired to fight/Your fabric in my heart

melt

I bet your brain cells won't last/I bet they cling to the trash/I hope you melt on the way/Back to your place/Because the sunshine don't last/Help me take out the trash/And you were always too slow/I'll watch you melt

the last man on earth

Who are you to ask for anything more?/Do you wait for your dancing lessons to be sent from God?/You'd like his light to shine on you/You've really missed a trick when it comes to love/Always seeking what you don't have like what you do ain't enough/You'd like a light to shine on you/And every book you take/And you dust off from the shelf/Has lines between lines between lines/That you read about yourself/But does a light shine on you?

[lalainajanes]

Hi! idk if you're still taking prompts but can you do one where klaus and caroline are coworker's who are always getting into heated screaming matches during team meetings and everyone who works with them is just used to it, but the new girl is like wtf??? and then later finds out that they're actually married and don't hate each other?? thanks!! your writing gives me life

Obviously I could not resist fluff day! For Step Two of @klarolineshippersclub 12KCXmas event!

With Friends Like These

The office is deserted – its 7 PM on a Friday – so Caroline’sstartled by the sound she hears coming from the hall. It’s a staccato series oftaps. Heels, eating up the distance quickly, and she rolls her chair back,grabbing her phone from the corner of the desk just in case someone’s bleeding.

She’s about to go and see what’s happening, when Kat barrelsin. Her eyes are wide with what Caroline suspects is glee, her hair a wildwindblown mass of curls. Her jackets only half buttoned and she tosses asideher purse, rushing towards Caroline. “You will not believe what I just heard!”

Caroline lets herself be shaken, taking another confusedlook at Kat’s dishevelment. “Did you run from the bar? Thought you were goingto try to seduce the new guy.”

Katherine looks offended. “Try? Please. Mason’s a sure bet.He’ll keep until next week.”

“Wow,” Caroline drawls. “Something came up that’s kept youfrom guaranteed sex? Must be big.”

Katherine lets go of her, tossing her hair over her shoulderand letting out an irritated huff. “Yeah, yeah, mock me. We don’t all get to scheduleregular freaky married sex.”

It takes a fair amount of willpower not to tear her eyesaway and Caroline lifts her chin stubbornly. Katherine might know far too many details about her and Klaus’ sex life butthat was only because Caroline gets a little over share-y when tequila’sinvolved in a girl’s night out. Klaus is shameless enough not to care, evenwhen Kat’s comments get overly pointed. If anything, he leans into it, lets hishands linger and does his best to make Caroline blush. Caroline is working onbuilding up the same aplomb in the face of Kat’s suggestive smirks and taunts.

“You seem to do just fine in the freaky sex department,” shesnipes back.

Katherine grins, slow and very pleased with herself. “Ireally do.”

Caroline groans, walking over to the couch that lines onewall of her office. “I do not want to have this conversation with you.”

Her dry spell is hours away from ending and she’s really looking forward to it.

Klaus has been gone for ten days, dealing with inspectionsfor the new hotel the company is opening in London. Caroline’s team is busy puttingtogether room concepts so she hadn’t been able to justify taking the time awayto accompany him.

She likes phone sex as much as the next girl whose husbandhas a hot accent but it got old after a few days. She misses having a warm bodyto roll into at night; the way he wakes he scrapes his morning beard againsther shoulder when she grumbles about the alarm.

“Someone’s cranky!” Katherine sings. She circles Caroline’sdesk, helping herself to the bourbon that’s stashed in the lowest drawer. “Mynews might not help you.”

Oh joy.

Caroline slouches low, letting her legs flop ratherungracefully, “And yet, you rushed all the way back here to tell me about it?”

“It’s just too hilarious. I couldn’t not.”

Katherine’s sense of humor is a weird thing, an acquiredtaste, so Caroline braces herself. “Alright, hit me.”

“Uh uh. Let me set the scene.”

“And people say I’m dramatic.”

Kat ignores the complaint, lifting the bottle high. “There Iam, in the ladies room…”

“Taking off your panties so you could stuff them in Mason’spocket?”

“Please. Like you’ve never used that move.”

Caroline could honestly say she hadn’t (Klaus likes toremove her lingerie himself) but Katherine’s already continuing her tale. Sheperches on the edge of Caroline’s desk, wiggling in an effort to getcomfortable.

So it’s not going to be a short story. Caroline presses herlips together, holding in a sigh, glancing at the clock. She’s supposed to grabKlaus from the airport at eleven and she’d planned go home and change intosomething easier to remove beforehand. Hopefully Katherine can resist the urgeto embellish too extensively.

“I’m minding my own business, about to flush, when I hear afamiliar name.”

“Yours?”

“Nope, yours. Preceded and followed by some very colorfuldescriptors.” She pauses expectantly, eagerly watching for Caroline’s reaction.

Only to be disappointed when Caroline shrugs, emitting onlya dismissive, “Somehow I’ll survive.” The last time she’d really been overlyconcerned with other people liking her she’d owned pom poms.

Katherine, however, isn’t finished.

“Really? Even when I tell you that our little bathroomgossiper had very complimentary things to say about your hubs?”

Her hands curl into the couch’s cushions, a teeny flare ofjealousy flaring bright.

She’s an only child and she gets a little possessive, okay?Klaus is into it. He’s also no stranger to getting growly and shooting murdereyes and staking a claim and, since he’s got a bajillion siblings, he doesn’t evenhave the same justification for being bad at sharing.

Those incidents usually result in an immediate need forprivacy (or the reasonable facsimile found behind a locked office door or thebackseat of a car). The next day they’ll sleep in, there will be hickies on herthighs and scratches on his back, and they’ll eat dessert for breakfast.

Honestly, Caroline kind of loves that particular ritual,knows very well that Klaus does too.

“Not everyone thinks Klaus is awful,” Caroline points out.

“Because most people are dumb and lack my excellent taste.”

Caroline eyes the bottle, seriously considering chugging abit and just calling a cab when it’s time to collect Klaus. She really doesn’twant to be drunk for their reunion but, if Kat doesn’t hurry up and get to apoint, it might be her best option. “I love you so I’m going to ignore the factthat you kinda just called me dumb.”

Katherine scoffs, “You’re not dumb, just dickmatized.”

It’s probably a good thing she’s not drinking because shewould have choked. Caroline’s laugh sputters out, grows in volume, and she hasto cover her mouth when it becomes hard to control herself. Her eyes water alittle as she finally manages to stop giggling, “Yeah, I’m totally tellingKlaus that you said that. He’ll take it as a compliment.”

“Literally the only nice thing I’ll ever say about him isthat you’re far more bearable and less uptight than you used to be. I creditthe regular orgasms.”

She and Katherine had been hired at about the same time and,in the beginning, hadn’t gotten along overly well. Kat now headed The MikaelsonGroup’s marketing team, was a wizard at luring in celebs and influencers andmaking their hotels a coveted destination. Caroline had worked her way up torun a design team. It’s how she’d met Klaus (and they’d butted heads too in theearly days) coordinating with him and his architect minions.

“I, too, am a big fan,” Caroline admits. “Though, honestly,you should really give cuddling a try. Totally relaxing.”

“Ew, pass.”

It’s an argument they’ve had before.

“Anyway,” Katherine says, so loudly that Carolineinstinctively glances towards the door. “Back to my story. Greta Martin thinksyou should stop being a total bitch to Klaus in meetings. Oh, and she’s alsoplanning on banging him.”

Caroline sits up, now outraged. “I am not…”

Katherine cuts her off, “You have been a little snippy thisweek.”

Only because Klaus has been baiting her.

“That’s just how we are. He pokes, I prod. He’s annoyinglysmug, all ‘oh, aren’t I the cleverest?’ and I like to knock him down.”

“Verbal foreplay is your thing,” Katherine says, adding aknowing nod.

She throws her hands up, collapsing back again. “Exactly! Mymarriage is freaking great and if that…”

Again, she doesn’t get to work up to a proper rant. Superannoying.

“That’s the best part!” Katherine crows. “She has no ideayou and Klaus are married! Talk about dumb people.”

Well, that’s mollifying. Slightly. Caroline will just haveto make things clear. Plans begin to form. She discards the racier ones (unlessGreta proves to be unwilling to take a hint). She twists her wedding bandabsently, “How has she not noted the rings?”

“Forget the rings. How she hasn’t noted Klaus’ doofybesotted face whenever you walk into a room is the bigger issue. Maybe sheneeds glasses?”

Maybe Caroline will get her assistant to shoot Greta anemail detailing the company’s excellent insurance coverage on Monday.

She hears the bottle clink and she shakes off her mentallists, shooting Katherine a glare. “You know, it would have been easy for youto clear up her misconceptions in that bathroom.”

Kat’s brows rise and she shoots Caroline a look like she’ssaid something totally insane. “And deprive myself of prime workplace drama?Please. You know how bored I get on Wednesdays when I have to sit in those dumblegal meetings.”

Caroline’s displeasure must read on her face because Kattosses her a bright smile, leaning forward and offering the bottle. Her toneturns placating, “Oh, relax, Cupcake. It’s harmless. You’ll probably forget allabout this little snafu over the weekend.”

Caroline’s does have big plans.

“Maybe,” she allows grudgingly. She stands, straighteningher pencil skirt. “Speaking of, I should go home and make myself pretty.”

“You’re going to do that gross airport make out thing, aren’tyou?”

Caroline smiles, not trying to hide the slightly mockingedge to it. “Usually, yeah. But Elijah’s not a guy who tolerates a scene.”

She relishes the freezing of Katherine’s body, the wideningof her dark eyes. Her hand flexes, looking for the bottle that had recentlybeen clutched there.

Caroline withholds it, setting it down and out of reach.

She’s not entirely sure what had gone down at the Christmasparty last year (Katherine was way better at keeping secrets no matter how muchliquor was applied) but she knows Kat’s red lip had been rubbed off and Elijah’svest had been buttoned incorrectly when she and Klaus had met the odd couple atthe elevator bank.

Kat had twitched a little at the mention of Elijah’s nameever since.

She adopts her sweetest expression, “Maybe the legalmeetings will be more exciting when Elijah’s leading them in person, hmm?”

Katherine’s mouth opens. Closes. She wiggles her toes to gether heels back in place before hopping off the desk. “I need to…”

She doesn’t finish her sentence, stalking out of the office.Caroline watches her go, both satisfied and bursting with curiosity. A speechlessKatherine Pierce? Caroline never thought she’d see the day.

She makes a mental note to tell Klaus, to wheedle until heagrees to pump Elijah for info. She didn’t often get bored at work, not whenshe could just pop into Klaus’ office and poke around in his projects. But hehad another trip on his calendar next month.

She won’t turn down a little in office entertainment whilehe’s gone.