#how to be megnificent
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WIP Tag Game
Tagged by @apocraphelion who is lovingly writing a dead dove. We like its writing anyway. Thank you!
Rules: Share 100 words or so of a WIP, and then add an extra line
(we're not tagging anyone, because we don't generally tag people and don't know where to start, but feel free to tag us as having tagged you, if you want to play)
--- from the latest paragraphs of How to be Megnificent, written by @girldragongizzard ---
âNow. When I call your name â your new name â Iâd like you to come forward with your identification ready, and answer my questions. And when you and I are done, you may either be seated, or you may leave. If I award you your name, I will hand you your stamped court order, which you should take to the clerkâs office for the next step of the process. And the public list of name changes will be displayed in the hallway tomorrow morning. You wonât need to check that, because youâll already have the paperwork you need verifying your new identity.â
She pauses to look around the room to see if everyone was listening.
âIf you have further questions, the clerk can help you with them. Now, Iâm going to go about this alphabetically by last name,â she says. âCan Corin Ascalia please come forward.â
Corin is one of the people who came in after me, and they are dressed almost as queerly as Chapman usually dresses.
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Table of Contents
This is my story, which is titled the same as my url, girldragongizzard.
There are two sequels planned and they'll be listed here too eventually, but here's a handy table of contents for you!
Content Notice: police action and light gore
book 1: Meghanology
How I wanted it to go
Mild complications
Adversary
A cause for alarm
Cop Out
Holes
Mine
Not mine
Breakfast sans bed
The weird of Chapman
Conversation stopper
War Councils
Poink's name
Wormfail
Draconinity
Finding my voice
It heal
Sutures
One dragon's diplomacy
What a day that was + the Epilogue
You might find this book to be a smoother and more enjoyable read, complete with bookmarking abilities, over on ScribbleHub where it has also been published.
Book 2: How to be Megnificent
A Megnificent camping trip
Ethical human contact
Joel
Home again
The bird and the dragon
Artists of the future
Ptarmigan's folly
Influencers
Character growth
Living the dream
Teasing out the data
Name me Dragon
I am here
Performance hangover
Pushing limits
Courting a nightmare
Queen of Fire and Starlight
How I stopped worrying and learned to love the shoe
Twisted Nerve
The ScribbleHub link for How to be Megnificent.
Book 3: I contain Megnitudes
A battle without honor or humanity
My people
The question of lunch
Drinking the meta like it's beer
Dragon strike
Acid reign
Fuzzy feelings
The disaster
The places I fear
Catalyst
Bankruptcy
Nightmare
Terror
Preparation
Trust me
First Megnitude
Second Megnitude
Third Megnitude
All the little Megnitudes
A measurement of the future
The Scribblehub link for I contain Megnitudes.
the Epilogues: Megnetic snapshots
The dog days of Winter
Valentine's Day
The Fenverse
Mating Season 0.2a
The Artist of Being a Dragon
Molly
Egg
Appendix A
the Mythology of girldragongizzard
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oh don't mind me i'm just losing my goddamn mind over this holy shit
âAlright, lemme look at you. Just want to see how pretty you look.â
literally all the praising and all that was chef's kiss megnificent but this line specifically took me tf out because when will someone say it to me???? lol but yeah i LOVED this so much
Serenity




Michael âRobbyâ Robinavitch x f!doctor!reader
Summary: Robby has had a really shitty day, maybe he just needs his girlfriend to comfort him
Follows the pacing of the show so minor spoilers if youâre still not caught up
Warnings: explicit sexual content, minors dni, unprotected sex, p in v, creampie, oral (fem receiving), he talks her through it (yes he does and yall canât tell me otherwise), age gap (reader is 35 and Robby is 50) (ik heâs probably Noahâs age but just bare with me here), established relationship, just vanilla sex really
WC: 6.3k no Iâm not sorry
A/N: bahahah nobody look at meeeee. I think I outdid myself with this, Iâm never beating the daddy issues allegations. This man just makes me so feral I couldnât help myself. Iâm hoping some of yall have been down bad too otherwise just ignore me (if this flops Iâll cry). Also tagging my bestie bc she has experienced my madness in real time𩷠@wittyjasontodd

You knew today would be an absolutely abhorrent day. You could feel it, the second that dumb clock hit six a.m, you knew. You knew it when you texted him if he wanted to eat dinner at your place after your shift, and he told you that he didnât know when exactly he would get off his. He was working today and that made you sick to your stomach, a deep sense of anxiety and worry settling in. And you couldnât shake that feeling all fucking day.Â
You didnât want to worry about him, coddle him and suffocate him like he was a teenager, he surpassed you by quite a few years for you to be doing that. Still, you couldnât not worry about him down there. His day was normally absolutely draining as it was, but having to deal with that today out of all days, it concerned you just how well he could compartmentalize his own issues and the issues of dozens and dozens of other people.Â
You were tempted to come downstairs yourself and check in on him under the excuse of bringing him coffee and something to eat. But then that would be weird. Then people would know. Well, you had a suspicion people did know by now, it was a bit hard to hide a relationship after two years. Though it was a bit easier considering you were all the way up in the pediatrics ICU and not in the Pitt. Still, you definitely noticed the knowing glances of Perla and Princess whenever you came down for a consultation or if they saw you sneak into the doctorâs lounge.
Dana knew, though you never told her. You didnât think Robby told her either. You thought it took her maybe a month to figure it out. You prided yourself on how discrete you were about it, and still are. You walk together whenever your shifts align, hands locked and headphones in as you both enjoyed the short time you had in each other's calming presence before you didnât see each other for twelve-plus hours. And then you went your separate ways, a quick kiss and a hushed âlove youâ before going through completely different entrances to be extra cautious. You have been doing this since day-one. How Dana figured it out was beyond your extensive knowledge.Â
You both would like to think other than Danaâs superhuman ability to read people, you had managed to keep things private. It was better that way, doctors were such odd creatures, you almost positively knew that âfavoritismâ would end up circulating around sooner or later, since, once upon a time where you were a bright-eyed and still a had will to live first-year resident, Robby was your attending. Albeit he was married at the time and you were engaged, you knew someone would find a way to turn it into something it wasnât.Â
Today, however, you werenât quite such how reserved you could be when you knew he was struggling.Â
You sat on your desk, a long exhale of exhaustion leaving your lips as you ran your hands over your face, enjoying the few minutes of peace and quiet you had managed to find. And then you heard a ping. You sat up, eyes shooting open as you reached for your phone with annoyance. You thought it was the hospital, but when you unlocked your phone you saw it was a message from Dana.
Well, fuck.Â
Dana: can you check on Robby? The overdose kid is hitting him pretty hardÂ
A long sigh left your lips as you read over the message, heaviness settling in your chest. You had been keeping up with it since earlier this morning, you had hoped maybe the kid would respond to treatment. You guessed things hadnât been so easy down there.Â
Me: you donât think the kid is gonna make it?
Dana: Robby doesnât think so. Come check on him please. He was gone for a while earlier
Another heavy sigh left your lips. Today was not the day for this.Â
Me: he doesnât like it when I make him talk about his feelingsÂ
You werenât entirely exaggerating. Robby wasnât emotionally unavailable, the opposite, if anything, he was painfully aware of his feelings. He just didnât like talking about them, especially when they were ER related. He would send you into a psych ward if he told you everything he experienced on a daily basis, he told you. And you respected it, your year in the Pitt definitely wasnât the highlight of your life, and you admired him for choosing to stay there for so long.Â
Dana: youâre not. Youâre just being a supportive girlfriend. Come, now.Â
You didnât have to be in front of her to know she was being serious. You figured if you didnât come down at some point she would physically come get you herself if thatâs what it took. So best not to test the universe today. You had some time before your next appointment anyway. And Dana was right, you wanted him to know you were there, even if he didnât always want it.Â
It came as a shock to no one that you ultimately found your way downstairs. It was always loud on your floor, but nowhere near as bad as the pitt. You tried your best to not draw attention to yourself, though with everything going on down here and all the people that came and went, you figured you would blend in for the most part. You hoped to find Dana at her desk, preferably alone, as to avoid awkward small talk and questionable looks since nobody actually called you down here for any medical reasons. You internally thanked the universe when you spotted Dana on her computer.Â
âHey.â You spoke quietly, hands shoved into your pockets a bit sheepishly as you glanced around before looking back at her. She gave you a warm smile of gratitude and nodded at you.Â
âDonât make that face, itâs not that bad down here.â She teased, calling out your hypervigilant mannerisms and the uncomfortable look on your face. You didnât mind being here, but only when you had a reason to be, you definitely didnât want to have to explain you came down here to check in on your boyfriend.Â
âI know.. But you know..â you gave her a look. But you didnât have to say anything, she knew what you meant, she just liked teasing you about it.Â
âSouth 16 is empty. Iâll tell him I need him for something. Just be quick, we might need the room.â She told you in a hush, resuming her typing away at her computer. You quietly nodded, briefly reaching to lightly squeeze her shoulder as a silent thank you.Â
You waited a bit anxiously, shooting a glance at your watch. Shit, you had to be back upstairs in ten minutes to check up on a patient. But you didn't want to leave without at least making sure he was okay. Even if he was just going to brush you off and tell you that everything was fine, you at least wanted to see him. You waited another minute, and with a sigh you turned to pull the curtains out, but someone beat you to it. You jumped back a bit, eyes wide for a second before you realized.Â
He wasn't quite looking at you, or maybe he just wasn't paying that much attention, he thought he was in the wrong room at first.
âSorryâoh.â Robby glanced behind him for a second, bit confused as he closed the curtain behind him. You smiled lightly as he looked at you both with confusion and relief to see you. Now matter how hectic or chaotic his day had been, how many times he had to chase down his residents, or many patients were a pain in his ass, seeing you always brought him a sense of calmness. He was ashamed to admit he was completely infatuated with you. His racing mind ultimately landed back on you, and he realized; he didn't remember calling you down. Maybe one of the residents did? But they didn't check with him first. âHey, what uh.. What are you doing down here?â
âJust wanted to check in, I heard youâve had a rough day.â You said quietly, lightly nibbling on your bottom lip as you stepped closer to him. He looked down at you, a heavy sigh leaving his lips and his jaw clicked lightly as he reminded himself to curse Dana out later. He didnât want you to worry. He said nothing, so you continued, âThe college kid, you donât think he's gonna make it?â
He tried to hold back another sigh, but he couldn't help it, he squeezed his eyes shut and scratched the back of his head with exasperation. He considered not going into details, giving you the same bullshit answer he gave the parents. He never wanted to burden you with his issues, with the baggage that came with the ER. He always wanted to keep out of the relationship, though he found that to be quite the challenge. When he opened his eyes again and found your pretty eyes looking back at him, with that warmth and kindness that made him want you in the first place. Maybe he should open up, to you at least.
âUh, no. Heâs braindead so thereâs nothing we can do.â The words left him like a ton of bricks, heavy and sharp. Your face immediately fell and your lips parted open lightly. You tilted your head at him, but said nothing. He wasnât quite looking at you as he continued, âI keep ordering all these tests for the parents, but I know. And I donât know if giving them false hope will make things worse for them.â
You nodded softly and rested your hands on his chest, you felt him exhale unevenly. You gave him a warm smile as you lightly rubbed his chest.
âMaybe they just need more time to make peace with it. Maybe they just need to know you did everything you could to help their son.â You knew how he felt, there had been so many times where nothing you did was enough to help someoneâs child, and you had to tell them that. But you knew he did his best, he always did. Though you weren't sure if he knew that.Â
âYeah.. yeah, maybe.â You felt him slightly tense under your touch and he avoided your eyes. He slightly angled his head to look behind him, like he was getting ready to sneak his way away from you and get lost in the chaos of the ER. you would let him, in a minute.
âMichael.â Your voice was a warning, quiet, stern. He snapped his head in your direction and looked at you with concern and confusion. You almost mever called him that. Only sometimes, when you were annoyed with him. With that scolding tone of yours. He didn't like it much.
âI don't like that. Whyâd you do that?â He tilted his head at you, and you had to hold back a smile at the way he looked at you.
ââCause, youâre being difficult. Thereâs bad days and thereâs worse days. Today is a shitty day, and thatâs fine. You're doing your best, donât be so harsh on yourself.â You sighed, running your fingers through his beard and he almost instantly leaned into your touch.
âHow come you didn't go into psychiatry?â He commented and you snorted, leaning your forehead into his chest. You felt a slight chuckle rumble in his chest, and with that your deed was done for now.
âWell, I did a minor in psychology in undergrad, did I ever tell you that?â You leaned back, a small smile on your lips, and he had the little wrinkles around his eyes that you found to be so cute.Â
âOnce or twice.â
You shrugged playfully, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek, but he turned his head and caught your lips instead. You were definitely okay with that. A groan of annoyance rumbled in your chest when you felt your phone buzz, alerting you that it was time for your next appointment. You pulled back, much to your dismay and took a glance at your phone, you were definitely going to be late.
âI mean it Robby, Iâll know.â You shot him a playful warning look and he nodded, a tiny grin pulling at the corner of his lips. You leaned up, actually leaving a kiss to his cheek this time. âLove you.â
âLove you too hun.â He called after you as you disappeared behind the curtain. A long sigh left his lips as he ran a hand over his face. If he wasn't the attending he would go after you and would purposely get locked inside an exam room with you for a little while. But alas. He waited a minute, making sure it didnât look too suspicious before he came out too, back to the madness he went.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today was just the gift that kept on giving. You eventually came down for the walk of honor. You knew you wouldnât really talk to Robby, but you wanted him to know you were there. You truly hated to see him like this. Hours on end only for the answer to have been what he knew from the beginning. It was hard to look at the brightside. And then you heard Dana got assaulted and you were absolutely freaking out. You hadnât been able to come down until the end of your shift, when you were on your way to head home. Robby still had another hour left of his so you were just going to your apartment alone, he almost never got off on time, anyway.
You damn near ran off the elevator and a sense of relief washed over you when you saw Dana sitting at her desk. A long sigh left your lips as you approached her and you nearly gasped when you saw the bruising on her face.Â
âDana.â You said quietly, your eyes big. She shook her head at you dismissively, but it was hard not to worry. âThey told me a patient hit you?â
âYeah. Don't worry, I don't have any fractures, just a little sore.â She half smiled at you, but the look on your face never changed, you frowned even deeper.
âIt's unbelievable. With all the patient satisfaction bullshit Gloria shoves down our throats youâd think they would invest a little more in making sure the staff is protected. Are you sure youâre okay? It bruised a lot.â You leaned down to inspect her closer and she rolled her eyes at you, but you couldnât help it.Â
âYes Iâm sure, Robby made me get a CT and made me take a break, Iâm fine.â She waved you off and you nodded.Â
âOh, speaking of that pain in my ass, where is he? Iâve been texting him since the walk but I havenât heard from him.â You frowned softly, adjusting your bag over your shoulder. Dana gave you a look, one that you definitely did not like.
âYeah, I wouldnât wait on him too much. Just go home, okay? While you still can.â Now that worried you even more. You knew today had been rough but you didnât think it had been that bad. It took a lot for Robby to lose it, though you were unsure what exactly happened if that was the case.Â
âYeah, okay. Iâm glad youâre okay. I was very worried.â You offered her a tiny smile, which she returned and you exchanged goodbyes for the night.
Danaâs words lingered in your mind, and you were definitely more concerned for Robby than you were earlier today. Usually he would text you back, even if it was an hour or two later, but it had been hours and nothing. With a sigh, you started to head for the exit, and as you walked you saw Robby walking out of one of the exam rooms. You debated whether to pretend you didn't see him and to just go home. But that really wasn't the type of person you were.
âRobby, hey.â You called out to him as quietly as you could as you walked up to him. He visibly tensed at the sight of you and he looked like a fucking mess. You narrowed your eyes, your lips pursing at him but you continued. âI uh.. Iâm going home. I donât know if.. If you wanted to come over when, well whenever you get out. Iâm picking up food on the way so..â
He was silent for a while, too long for your liking and you were starting to feel a little tense as well. He clicked his tongue, scratching the back of his head like you had picked up he did when he was stressed. You probably should have listened to Dana.
âYeah, uh, I donât know. I donât really know what time Iâm getting off, and truly I think maybe I should go to my place tonight.â He said with exasperation, his tone harsh and laced with tension. It almost took you aback how he was talking to you.Â
You blinked at him, mouth slightly agape. It took you a couple seconds to process what he was saying. You counted to five in your head, took a deep breath in and just nodded. âUhm, okay. Yeah, cool, I just wanted to make sure you were okay before I went home.â
âYes, yes Iâm okay, why does everyone keep fucking asking me that.â He raised his voice before quickly realizing what he did and his lips fell in a flat line. You stared at him in shock, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. It was almost like it dawned on him that you were the last person in this hospital he should be snapping at. And he did just that. He reached to grab your arm and you backed up.
âNo, itâs fine. I got it. Sorry. Iâm gonna go home now.â You forced a smile, you could tell Robby wanted to say something, he opened his mouth but you just shook your head at him. âItâs fine, you need space and I get that. Text me when you can talk to me like a fucking adult, yeah?â
You didnât even give him a chance to reply, you were turning around and hurrying to the exit before he could get a word in. Was that the most mature response you could have given him? No, not really, but you didn't particularly enjoy being yelled at by your boyfriend in the middle of the ER. You knew something else mustâve happened to him, but you didnât really want to find out when he was that upset. You hadn't seen Robby angry often, stressed? Sure, all the time. But he looked pissed and you didnât like that whatsoever. He was always so calm, so patient and so collected, it was unsettling to see him so easily ticked off. You tried not to think about it too much, he knew where to find you if he wanted to talk, calmly.Â
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Robby couldnât stop thinking about you for the rest of the night. He felt horrible for yelling at you, when his problems were not your fault and all you wanted to do was be the loving girlfriend that you were. He always loved how attentive and caring you were, when you asked him about his day and when you would listen so attentively to the little he would tell you. You were the last person on this earth he shouldâve snapped at today, and now he had to go home feeling guilty when all he wanted was your comfort. He debated about just going to his place and calling you tomorrow, maybe he would get you some flowers to apologize. But then thought that would be too long. It was so late, he definitely didnât get off when he was supposed to, but maybe youâd still be awake. You usually waited up for him anyway.Â
Without much thought, he ended up at your apartment. He had a key to your place, he slept there most nights to be completely honest. He was rehearsing in his head the apology he would give you when the door got stuck.Â
âWhat the fuck..â he muttered to himself as he tried to force the door open, thinking maybe it got caught on the rug or something. But no, he looked down to find that the latch was on. You put the latch on. He took a deep breath and clicked his tongue, trying to look into the apartment to see if he could see inside. This was definitely going to be his last straw.Â
You werenât asleep, it wasnât quite midnight yet, but even if it was, you werenât sure if you could get much sleep tonight. You heard the sound of your front door unlocking along with muffled shuffling. You sat up, confused. You suspiciously came out of your bedroom, only to find Robbyâs awkwardly tall frame trying to reach inside to undo the latch. You almost wanted to laugh, you would have, if you hadnât still been a bit upset from earlier.Â
âReally?â You called out to him, arms crossed over your chest as you padded along the wooden floors, the floorboards creaking under your bare feet. Robby looked to find you, in an oversized t-shirt and a pair of cozy pants. He always found it endearing how cozy and comfortable you looked outside of the hospital.Â
âYou put the latch on? Really?â He huffed quietly, annoyed that he got stuck outside your apartment, he definitely was not amused by you trying not to laugh. You shrugged.
âYou said you werenât coming over. I put the latch on when youâre not here.â You said like it was obvious, taking your sweet time in walking to the door. It served him right. He wouldâve rolled his eyes if he didnât know you were right.Â
You stood for a few seconds and made direct eye contact with him as you shut the door in his face, just to make a point, before you unlatched the door and opened it. You took a step back, crossing your arms over your chest again as he quietly stepped into your apartment, closing the door behind him. He dropped his backpack like it had offended him, and he crowded your space. His nose brushed over yours, and you could hear his breath. You were holding yours.
âIâm sorry.â He offered so quietly, so much so that you wouldnât have heard him if he hadn't been so close. You inhaled sharply, slightly nodding. You threw your arms over his shoulders and he breathed out a sigh of relief. âYeah? You forgive me?âÂ
You nodded again, as you leaned up to meet his lips. âYes, now shut up.âÂ
âYes maâam.â He chuckled softly, his large hand squeezed your waist as he leaned down to meet your eager mouth. He definitely said nothing after that. God, he had been wanting to do this all fucking day. It probably would have made his day a whole lot less shitty. But he was here now, and he had you all to himself.
You weren't sure when you ended up being carried to your bedroom, or when your back was laid flat on your soft covers. All you could focus on was his lips claiming yours, his lips trailing kisses all over your jaw, down to your neck, and anywhere he could find, really. He wasn't normally this messy, perhaps the stresses of today had finally worn on him.
âI shouldnât have yelled at you,â he muttered against your skin as he half-assed shrugged his hoodie off his shoulders and tossed it somewhere he would be scrambling for in the morning. You hummed along, only half listening. âLet me make it up to you.â
Confused, you sat up on your elbows as he settled between your thighs. You watched him with big eyes and a heavy chest as he silently pulled your pjâs down your thighs. You held your breath as you instinctively closed your legs. He shot you a pointed look as he pried your thighs open, fingers digging into your plush thighs as he settled between them. You gasped softly at the delicious burn his beard left on your thighs. You loved that you could always feel the tingle of where his mouth had been, even the day after.
He took his time with you, he always did. You never understood how he could stay so calm, so patient. You had no patience, and you knew that he knew. Maybe he enjoyed seeing you desperate. His tongue lapped at your pussy with such calculated movements. From your hole to your clit, circling and sucking before diving back into your walls. Squirming, you were chasing his mouth with your hips, body overcome with pleasure as he worked your walls with his tongue. You felt like such a whore for asking like this, but you couldnât help it.Â
âThat feels soâughâfeels so goodâplease.â You didnât know what you were pleading for. Mercy? Sweet release? You didnât know. Robby raised an amused eyebrow at you, wet lips curled up the slightest bit as he moved his tongue back to your clit and he slipped two fingers inside your cunt. He licked and sucked to match each delicious drag of his fingers. The sounds leaving him were just as filthy as the things he was doing to you, groaning and grunting.
It was no surprise that he had you shaking and sobbing, overcome with pleasure, eyes blurry with tears of pleasure, your release rapidly approaching. You latched on to his hair, tugging and pulling at the strands as your pathetic sounds filled the room. You chased his mouth, and he let you, always so amused by how quickly you would fall apart.
âThatâs it, just breathe through it.â he hushed, his own breath heavy as he replaced his tongue with his thumb and he crooked his fingers just the right way, knowing each and every one of your tells, each twitch of your body, he had memorized all of it.Â
Your release was hard and sudden, your loud sounds were almost as overwhelming as the feeling of his fingers scissoring you wide open. Your head was thrown back, eyes rolled into the back of your head. He dug his fingers into your thigh, his tongue slipping into your hole when his fingers left you.Â
âShit Robby.â You gasped, your thighs shaking as you weakly reached to grab his face. You ran your fingers along his face, threading through his beard and you silently ushered him up. He complied, in an instant settling between your open legs to find your mouth again. You could taste yourself on his lips, on his tongue, it was all so much for your clouded mind.
âYouâre okay, just breathe for me.â He said against your lips, brushing your hair away from your face softly. You breathed out a laugh.
âYou should yell at me more often,â you snorted, and Robby shot you a pointed look. âSo you can make it up to me.â
âYeah, well, weâre not done, so.â He pressed another kiss to your lips, leaving the lingering taste of yourself on your tongue before he flipped you over on your stomach. You bit your lip softly, pulling your t-shirt over your head and tossed it somewhere. You heard him shuffling behind you for a bit. You turned your head to look back at him, and with a smile he leaned over your back, leaving a kiss to your bare shoulder. âHi sweetheart.â
âHmm hi.â you hummed softly as you braced yourself with your arms in front of you. He pressed his lips to the back of your head, inhaling your sweet scent as he slowly sank into you.Â
You gasped, your eyes rolling back into your head he sank into you until his hips rutted against your ass. The side of your face was flat on the mattress when he sneaked his hand into your hair and held you there. His pace was slow at first, slow strokes that allowed you to revel in the feeling of his cock in and out of your walls. But as you both began to grow desperate, pathetic sounds leaving your lips and groans of pleasure leaving him, his pace picked up.
âThought about this all day baby. With the fucking day Iâve had.â His words left him with a groan, and he gave you a particularly sharp thrust that had you sliding up the mattress. âJust wanted this. You're the only thing that isnât wrong in my life.âÂ
His raspy words in your ear made you moan, and you blindly reached behind you to touch him, any part of him. He leaned down, his chest flat against your back and his lips found yours, pulling you into a messy kiss.Â
âMhm, shouldâve called me down for a quickie then.â You teased him and he chuckled, his cheek pressed against your jaw, the new angle making him sit so deep you could feel him in your fucking guts. God, you didnât fucking care that he was so much older than you, the way he fucked you, so passionately and so gently at the same time, you didnt care for anyone younger.Â
âI don't care for quickies.â he replied with an edge to his voice, despite the sass of your mouth, he could feel the way you squeezed the life out of him everytime he hit that perfect spot, getting you closer and closer to your release.
âYouâre such an old man.â you managed to reply, but your witty remarks quickly left you when he slipped his free hand to find your swollen clit, which made you painfully aware of how close you were. But Robby could tell.
âUh-huh, and this old man is gonna make you come,â There was a bit of amusement in his voice at the way your body twitched under him and the way your face twisted with pleasure. You were so close. âYeah, thought so.âÂ
âFuck, Iâm gonna come.â you choked out, followed by a silent sob when he hit that one spot and you saw white. You were gasping for air as your whole body shuddered. Robby shushed you softly, slowly fucking you through your orgasm. He left wet kisses along your jaw as he whispered sweet words in your ear.
âAtta girl, you did so good.â He hummed as he left a kiss to the side of your head as you dropped your face flat on your blankets, your breath heavy as your body twitched in aftershock. You gasped softly when he slipped out of you, leaving you empty. You wanted to whine, but he gently grabbed your arm and flipped you on your back, and he settled between your legs with ease.
âAlright, lemme look at you. Just want to see how pretty you look.â He ran his fingers over your face, brushing your hair away from your forehead. It was always such a intoxicating feeling to have him on top of you, his pretty brown eyes watching your every move, his chain a reminder that you were about to get fucked (again). You fucking loved this feeling. You couldnât even make a sound when he slid into you again, your eyes simply fluttering shut and your body twitching with pleasure.
âO-oh my godâ!â The way you sounded so utterly fucked out, cock-drunk, it made him feel lightheaded as he fucked into you. He felt a little bad, with how exhausted you both always were, you never fucked this long, or so intensely. So he knew you were going to be so sore for your morning shift tomorrow. But fuck, with the way you squeezed your eyes shut, lips parted, he didnât want to stop until you were both spent with exhaustion because you just felt so fucking tight and so goddamn heavenly.
âMhmm I know, I know hun. Feels good hm?â He panted above you, his chain dangling above your face like a mockery of your current position with each thrust he gave you. You nodded harshly, a string of uh-uh-uhâs leaving your pathetic mouth as your nails dragged down his back.
âFeels so good baby.â You squeezed your eyes shut, his voice shooting straight to your pulsing walls, making you whimper.
He gritted his teeth as he felt your walls squeeze the life out of him, a grunt leaving his chest as he reached for your hand, lacing his fingers with yours. You squeezed his hand so tight as he pinned your hand above your head, and he planted his other arm beside your head, attempting to ground himself.Â
âThere you go sweetheart. Thatâs it.â His raspy voice grounded you as you spasmed around his cock for a second time. Your sounds were so pathetic, the way you sobbed his name was enough to make him completely lose the very little self-control he was holding on to. He fucked you through your orgasm, gave you two, three more sharp thrusts before he fell into his own release, a breathy fuck falling from his lips
Sounds of exhaustion filled the room, drowning out the still on TV you had in the background, your show being completely forgotten the second Robby was at your door. A thin layer of sweat covered his skin as he ran a hand through his hair. Your eyes were screwed shut, your forearm thrown over your face as your racing heart matched your shuddering breath. He sneaked under your arm and left a kiss to the side of your forehead. You giggled a bit and opened your eyes to find his soft brown eyes staring back, there was a smile there, too.
âYou want pizza? I bought some earlier from the place you like.â You spoke eventually, your chest now rising and falling in a steady rhythm as you rested your head on Robbyâs arm. He turned his head to look at you and smiled in that way that made the corners of his eyes wrinkle a bit.Â
âYeah, okay. Iâll take some.âÂ
Much to the protest of your legs, you threw yourself on your feet, ignoring the way Robby was chuckling at your struggle. You managed to find a t-shirt, you didnât know whose it was, probably Robbyâs but it was yours now. After making a stop to the bathroom, you were in the kitchen for a bit. Getting fucked made you hungry, so you heated up some pizza for yourself.Â
âHereâs your delivery, and I do require a tip.â You announced as you came back into your bedroom. Robby looked up from his phone, and he had managed to find his black framed glasses that you loved to tease him about. And a playful smirk formed on your lips. âI definitely want a tip.â
He looked at you confused for a few seconds then he realized and he blew out a laugh, shaking his head with disappointment. âYou know, after a certain age one just gets really tired, canât keep up with people your age. Not that I would know about that.âÂ
You snorted as you flopped down on your bed, handing him his pizza and a can of coke because that was all you had in your fridge. âItâs okay, youâre my favorite old man.â
You leaned up to kiss his cheek, bumping his glasses with your nose. He gave you a look out of the corner of his eye that was anything but amused. Which made you laugh even more as you took a bite out of your pizza.Â
âI hope Iâm your only old man.â He chuckled, squinting his eyes the slightest bit as he typed a text on his phone. God he wished he could turn this fucking thing off. He couldn't even be out of the hospital for an hour before he got bombarded with messages. He caught the way you shot him a glare and he gave you a quick âsorryâ before he set his phone down.Â
âI dunno, the chief of peds is quite the catch.â You couldnât help but snort at the look he gave you, and you just shot him a smile. âJokes. Totally joking babe.âÂ
You ate in silence for a while, you kew you had to be up again at six in the fucking morning, but you just wanted to enjoy having him all to yourself for just a little longer. There was still a lingering thought in your mind, youâve had it all night. It never left your mind. Robby was watching whatever you decided to play on the TV when you turned to look at him.
âRobby,â you said softly, he hummed as he turned his head to look at you. âDo you want to talk about today? It's okay if you donât⌠I just think you should talk to someone, and I want to listen.âÂ
You saw the hesitation in his warm eyes, the tension and dread from such a shitty day coming back to him. His lips fell in a flat line, and his jaw locked the slightest bit. You offered him a soft smile as you sat closer to him, leaning your head on his shoulder with a soft shake of your head.
âNot tonight, okay? We can talk about it tomorrow.â He sighed out, leaning to leave a kiss to the side of your head. And you nodded with a reassuring smile.Â
You didnât know how he was prior to the pandemic, maybe he was worse, or maybe he had gotten better since. But you didnât mind putting in a little work to break down his walls and help him open. You would do anything, and you were okay with waiting.
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The Question on Many Marketersâ Minds: Should My Brand Start a Facebook Group?
Despite its recent bubble of controversy, marketers still view Facebook as the prime destination for social media marketing. The newly released Sprout Social Index 2018 reaffirms this, with 97% of social marketers saying they use the platform. However, while almost everyone is incorporating Facebook into their strategies, not so many express confidence that itâs making the desired impact. Last monthâs 2018 Social Media Marketing Industry Report showed only 49% reporting a belief that their Facebook marketing is effective. With algorithmic changes deprioritizing publisher content on Facebook feeds, and thus suppressing organic reach for brands, marketers are feeling the crunch. As I wrote here recently, âFacebookâs gargantuan active user base is impossible to ignore. We just need to get creative in finding ways to connect with people there.â One creative solution that marketers are increasingly turning to is Facebook groups. Are they worth your time and effort? Letâs explore.
Why are Facebook Groups Gaining Steam?
Much like influencer marketing, Facebook groups present an opportunity to regain diminished reach by embracing the platformâs heightened focus on user-generated content. According to the Sprout Social Index, social marketers point to increasing community engagement as their No. 2 biggest goal, right behind boosting brand awareness. Facebook groups are very much in line with this objective. They are mini-communities, where members are empowered to speak up and (in many cases) can engage directly with company reps, in addition to one another. Although groups have long been available as a feature on Facebook, the brand-driven âFacebook Groups for Pagesâ were just rolled out last year. You can find a helpful primer on setting one up here, via Social Media Examiner. What differentiates a Facebook page from a Facebook group, you might ask? AdWeek frames it as such:
âPages (are) for pushing key marketing messages and product information, as well as an outlet for customer support. Groups is a dedicated space for more in-depth, meaningful conversations and relationships between a brand and its fans.â
Another attractive element of Facebook groups is the added analytical depth through Group Insights, which provides information about trends and usage patterns in your membership. With growing emphases on engagement, authenticity, and community-building, itâs easy to see the appeal of Facebook groups as a marketing asset. And some are tapping into it very well. One notable example is Peloton, the cycling fitness company whose closed members group boasts an extremely active ecosystem of more than 92,000 members. But not everyone is finding traction on this front. [bctt tweet=âWith growing emphases on engagement, authenticity, & community-building, itâs easy to see the appeal of #FacebookGroups as a #marketing asset. And some are tapping into it very well. But not everyone is finding traction. â @NickNelsonMNâ username=âtoprankâ]
Whatâs Holding Back Brands on Facebook Groups?
Although the potential benefits are clear, the path to achieving them is a bit murky. For every success case like Peloton (which had the advantage of a three-year head start thanks to a preexisting member-driven community), there seem to be several examples of companies spinning their wheels in frustration. While Peloton has hit its stride with groups, another popular fitness brand is searching for a second wind. As Digiday explained in May regarding Fitbitâs exploration of the tactic:
âThe company created 12 different groups geared toward major cities like San Francisco, Los Angeles and New York. Each group has around 200 members, but thatâs a far cry from the 2.4 million followers of Fitbitâs Facebook page. Fitbitâs group for fitness-focused San Francisco had only 11 posts in the past 30 days.â
The problem is that around 200 million groups exist on Facebook, making it difficult to gain visibility, especially for new creations. To assist with this, CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced earlier this year the integration of a Groups tab intended to âmake groups a more central part of the Facebook experience.â âIn addition to the new tab,â TechCrunch notes, âthe company is launching a new Groups plugin that admins and developers can add to their websites and emails that solicits people to join their Facebook group.â Some marketers have understandably been reluctant to dive into this functionality over concerns that Facebook will change gears and renew its focus six months from now, but I believe itâs safe to say â based on the social networkâs clear commitment to elevating active participation and âmeaningful communitiesâ â that groups are going to be a mainstay feature going forward.
Should My Company Start a Facebook Group?
In assessing whether a Facebook group is worth launching for your B2B or B2C business, we recommend asking yourself these questions: #1 â Are community conversations relating to my product or service useful? If community is core to your offering, then Facebook groups are most likely going to be a fit. But you donât want to force it. The most resonant groups bring users together over a shared passion where they can transfer knowledge, stories, and ideas. For instance, the highly popular Instant Pot Facebook group has become a destination for owners of the electric cooker to troubleshoot and post their own recipes. âYouâre only going to get those super-users and superfans,â says Meg McDougall, Social Media Strategist at TopRank Marketing. âIf you have that audience, itâs a great opportunity. But youâre not going to build it out of nowhere.â [bctt tweet=âWhen it comes to #Facebook groups, youâre only going to get super-users & superfans. If you have that audience, itâs a great opportunity. But youâre not going to build it out of nowhere. â @megnificent #SocialMediaMarketingâ username=âtoprankâ] #2 â Do we have the bandwidth to run a group and grow it? Donât underestimate the commitment that running an active Facebook group can require. In order to get going, and especially to sustain, groups need attention and administration. You may want to have a content producer or community manager specifically designated for this task. Also, be ready to have employees promote your group in various ways, such as mentioning it in content and including it in email signatures. #3 â Is it truly going to be a value-oriented interaction hub, or simply another vehicle for brand promotion? âIf your brand starts a Facebook group, think of yourself as a facilitator rather than a marketer or blogger,â suggests Emily Gaudette in her post at Contently. âYouâll lose the group if you only promote your own work.â This is pretty much a cardinal rule of content marketing in general, but especially important in these kinds of community-fueled endeavors. Oftentimes, the brand play should be very subtle, and customers will hopefully start associating your product or service with the topic because itâs where they go to talk about it and find good info.
The Bottom Line on Facebook Groups for Marketers
Without question, Facebook groups are more worthy of our attention than they were a year ago at this time. Dwindling organic reach for company pages on the platform, along with a strong commitment from corporate leadership to grow the feature, make this an intriguing frontier. But as things stand, these spaces are really more about fostering and evolving engagement within your customer base as opposed to rapidly growing that base. And given the time and effort required to get it right, some brands might not find the payoff worthwhile. In other words, donât give in to groupthink. âLook at what your end goal is for social,â McDougall urges. âIf itâs reaching a ton of people, expanding your audience, and getting impressions, groups probably arenât the best route. If itâs targeted interactions and deeper engagement, they can be really helpful.â For more guidance on social media marketing that meets your objectives in a fast-changing environment, check out some of our recent write-ups on the subject:
From Messenger Bots to the Growth of âGram, Social Media Examinerâs Annual Report Reveals Trends to Watch
Social Media Marketing Benchmarks: What Works & Where to Focus
How to Survive the Social Media Midlife Crisis
What Are Hashtags Really For? #Confused #Blessed #NoFilter
7 Examples of Brands Mastering Twitter for Social Customer Care
The post The Question on Many Marketersâ Minds: Should My Brand Start a Facebook Group? appeared first on Online Marketing Blog â TopRankÂŽ.
http://www.toprankblog.com/
The post The Question on Many Marketersâ Minds: Should My Brand Start a Facebook Group? appeared first on Unix Commerce.
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The Question on Many Marketersâ Minds: Should My Brand Start a Facebook Group?
Despite its recent bubble of controversy, marketers still view Facebook as the prime destination for social media marketing. The newly released Sprout Social Index 2018 reaffirms this, with 97% of social marketers saying they use the platform. However, while almost everyone is incorporating Facebook into their strategies, not so many express confidence that itâs making the desired impact. Last monthâs 2018 Social Media Marketing Industry Report showed only 49% reporting a belief that their Facebook marketing is effective. With algorithmic changes deprioritizing publisher content on Facebook feeds, and thus suppressing organic reach for brands, marketers are feeling the crunch. As I wrote here recently, âFacebookâs gargantuan active user base is impossible to ignore. We just need to get creative in finding ways to connect with people there.â One creative solution that marketers are increasingly turning to is Facebook groups. Are they worth your time and effort? Letâs explore.
Why are Facebook Groups Gaining Steam?
Much like influencer marketing, Facebook groups present an opportunity to regain diminished reach by embracing the platformâs heightened focus on user-generated content. According to the Sprout Social Index, social marketers point to increasing community engagement as their No. 2 biggest goal, right behind boosting brand awareness. Facebook groups are very much in line with this objective. They are mini-communities, where members are empowered to speak up and (in many cases) can engage directly with company reps, in addition to one another. Although groups have long been available as a feature on Facebook, the brand-driven âFacebook Groups for Pagesâ were just rolled out last year. You can find a helpful primer on setting one up here, via Social Media Examiner. What differentiates a Facebook page from a Facebook group, you might ask? AdWeek frames it as such:
âPages (are) for pushing key marketing messages and product information, as well as an outlet for customer support. Groups is a dedicated space for more in-depth, meaningful conversations and relationships between a brand and its fans.â
Another attractive element of Facebook groups is the added analytical depth through Group Insights, which provides information about trends and usage patterns in your membership. With growing emphases on engagement, authenticity, and community-building, itâs easy to see the appeal of Facebook groups as a marketing asset. And some are tapping into it very well. One notable example is Peloton, the cycling fitness company whose closed members group boasts an extremely active ecosystem of more than 92,000 members. But not everyone is finding traction on this front. [bctt tweet="With growing emphases on engagement, authenticity, & community-building, itâs easy to see the appeal of #FacebookGroups as a #marketing asset. And some are tapping into it very well. But not everyone is finding traction. - @NickNelsonMN" username="toprank"]
Whatâs Holding Back Brands on Facebook Groups?
Although the potential benefits are clear, the path to achieving them is a bit murky. For every success case like Peloton (which had the advantage of a three-year head start thanks to a preexisting member-driven community), there seem to be several examples of companies spinning their wheels in frustration. While Peloton has hit its stride with groups, another popular fitness brand is searching for a second wind. As Digiday explained in May regarding Fitbitâs exploration of the tactic:
"The company created 12 different groups geared toward major cities like San Francisco, Los Angeles and New York. Each group has around 200 members, but thatâs a far cry from the 2.4 million followers of Fitbitâs Facebook page. Fitbitâs group for fitness-focused San Francisco had only 11 posts in the past 30 days."
The problem is that around 200 million groups exist on Facebook, making it difficult to gain visibility, especially for new creations. To assist with this, CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced earlier this year the integration of a Groups tab intended to âmake groups a more central part of the Facebook experience.â âIn addition to the new tab,â TechCrunch notes, âthe company is launching a new Groups plugin that admins and developers can add to their websites and emails that solicits people to join their Facebook group.â Some marketers have understandably been reluctant to dive into this functionality over concerns that Facebook will change gears and renew its focus six months from now, but I believe itâs safe to say â based on the social networkâs clear commitment to elevating active participation and âmeaningful communitiesâ â that groups are going to be a mainstay feature going forward.
Should My Company Start a Facebook Group?
In assessing whether a Facebook group is worth launching for your B2B or B2C business, we recommend asking yourself these questions: #1 - Are community conversations relating to my product or service useful? If community is core to your offering, then Facebook groups are most likely going to be a fit. But you donât want to force it. The most resonant groups bring users together over a shared passion where they can transfer knowledge, stories, and ideas. For instance, the highly popular Instant Pot Facebook group has become a destination for owners of the electric cooker to troubleshoot and post their own recipes. âYouâre only going to get those super-users and superfans,â says Meg McDougall, Social Media Strategist at TopRank Marketing. âIf you have that audience, itâs a great opportunity. But youâre not going to build it out of nowhere.â [bctt tweet="When it comes to #Facebook groups, you're only going to get super-users & superfans. If you have that audience, it's a great opportunity. But you're not going to build it out of nowhere. - @megnificent #SocialMediaMarketing" username="toprank"] #2 - Do we have the bandwidth to run a group and grow it? Donât underestimate the commitment that running an active Facebook group can require. In order to get going, and especially to sustain, groups need attention and administration. You may want to have a content producer or community manager specifically designated for this task. Also, be ready to have employees promote your group in various ways, such as mentioning it in content and including it in email signatures. #3 - Is it truly going to be a value-oriented interaction hub, or simply another vehicle for brand promotion? âIf your brand starts a Facebook group, think of yourself as a facilitator rather than a marketer or blogger,â suggests Emily Gaudette in her post at Contently. âYouâll lose the group if you only promote your own work.â This is pretty much a cardinal rule of content marketing in general, but especially important in these kinds of community-fueled endeavors. Oftentimes, the brand play should be very subtle, and customers will hopefully start associating your product or service with the topic because itâs where they go to talk about it and find good info.
The Bottom Line on Facebook Groups for Marketers
Without question, Facebook groups are more worthy of our attention than they were a year ago at this time. Dwindling organic reach for company pages on the platform, along with a strong commitment from corporate leadership to grow the feature, make this an intriguing frontier. But as things stand, these spaces are really more about fostering and evolving engagement within your customer base as opposed to rapidly growing that base. And given the time and effort required to get it right, some brands might not find the payoff worthwhile. In other words, donât give in to groupthink. âLook at what your end goal is for social,â McDougall urges. âIf itâs reaching a ton of people, expanding your audience, and getting impressions, groups probably arenât the best route. If itâs targeted interactions and deeper engagement, they can be really helpful.â For more guidance on social media marketing that meets your objectives in a fast-changing environment, check out some of our recent write-ups on the subject:
From Messenger Bots to the Growth of âGram, Social Media Examinerâs Annual Report Reveals Trends to Watch
Social Media Marketing Benchmarks: What Works & Where to Focus
How to Survive the Social Media Midlife Crisis
What Are Hashtags Really For? #Confused #Blessed #NoFilter
7 Examples of Brands Mastering Twitter for Social Customer Care
The post The Question on Many Marketersâ Minds: Should My Brand Start a Facebook Group? appeared first on Online Marketing Blog - TopRankÂŽ.
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ahh thank you for the tag!!
this is gonna be long I talk a loooooottttt but nvm
last song: i was studying and my go to study song is "pied piper" because 1. music keeps other noises out of my head so I can tune it into the background for the next 10 hours and 2. the song literally has a lyric in namjoon's verse telling us to go study lool
currently watching: it's been three years since I watched any show đ but I watched wild robot a few days ago because I was in a very pissed off mood does that count?? also I fricking love that movie wall-e and wild robot have my heart
three ships: ehehehe 1. brelwyn from legendborn, I cannot get them out of my head and I don't even want to they're so cute; 2. kenji and nazeera from shatter me series, where do I even begin I love them so much I finished the series for them lmaooo like comon what is cuter than "woman I look at you like I'm in love" like comon and Kenji is a whole mood like god and oh boy nazeera is soooo cool dude; 3. percabeth from percy jackson series, you cannot go wrong with them they're the cutest ever like comon seaweed brain is the epitome of nicknames and god I could go on and on about their dynamic I love them sm!!
favorite color: can't choose one buttttttt purple!! purple!! purple!! purple!! purple!! purple!! purple!! my whole room is purple lmfaooo but I mean yeah I looooove purple and might be the reason I love bts and bree as well; I also really fricking love deep red like the cherry shade or the blood red shade like they look absolutely stunning; and I also looooove black so yeah hehe.
currently consuming: this reminds me I still haven't had breakfast and it's lunch here đ prolly gonna get up and get my lunch it's roti and sabzi (vegetables?? idk how to explain damn) and the sabzi I don't like very much but nvm
first ship: ooof if we start from the start I loooooooooove enemies to lovers okay wo it's no surprise that juliette and warner have my heartttt (this was when I actually found out what shipping means before that i just took canon as written in stone, if I'd known shipping and ao3 when I was reading hp series boy dramione have my heart, I lover Ron and hermione but comon academic rivals to lovers is a bomb trope)
last movie: wild robottttt it has my heart â¨
currently working on: mathematics đ physics đđ chemistry đđđ just kidding apart from studying I have like three fic ideas that I want to write but yeah when I get in the mood ig. and my stylus broke but I have eight fanarts in progress lmaooo
tags: @thestarchaptersanctuary @thejudeduarte @jkriordanverse @isthataraccoon @ismyteadoneyet @massiveladycat @shuggyjiggy @megnificent-reads @mynotetrash @inastarlesssky @crissaeatscake
Tag game: tag nine people youâd like to know better.
Tagged by: @oneshoulderangel
Last song: At the moment, I have "Losing Your Memory" by Alan Star stuck in my head, which I suppose makes it my current song, not my last song. Hm. I get songs stuck in my head very easily, but the last one I had there for a significant amount of time was a mashup of different language versions of "Les Rois du Monde" for about a week. "Lehetsz KirĂĄly", the Magyar version, is probably my favorite of them. It's worth a listen.
Currently watching: Normally, the answer would be "random mostly terrible old movies/shows" or "nothing much", but I currently have a hyperfixation on the musical RomĂŠo et Juliette and have been watching it in multiple languages. (Thus, the song).
Three ships: This is hard. Maybe as a result of being on the ace and aro spectrums, I'm more likely to care about which characters are interacting than whether it's romantic or platonic. Here goes:
Kedivere/Bedikay. It can be romantic, platonic, or queerplatonic, but whichever way, I'm here for it. I probably spend too much time thinking about how in Cullwch and Olwen, when Cai gets mad at Arthur and marches out, Bedwyr stays behind, keeps acting like nothing's happened, and isn't the one to avenge Cai's death. The feeling of betrayal on both sides has a lot of unexplored potential. And the version where Bedivere dies and Kay fights to bring his body back safely while mortally wounded himself... And the version where Bedivere survives Camlann and Kay isn't said to fight in it, so they might be left together after their world has fallen apart...
Platonically or queerplatonically, Galahad and the Grail Heroine. I really like the tragic Grail Quest friendships, but I like theirs most, maybe because there's something weird and otherworldly about them both. I like it when characters are strange and endearing and doomed by the narrative.
Ever since reading John Matthews' retelling, which I read before the original, I've had a soft spot for Caradoc and Guinier. The Story of Caradoc is very disturbing, and I have some major qualms with Caradoc over a detail Matthews cut out, but all the same, there's a reason these two have the best track record with magical fidelity tests. Each of them would go to the ends of the earth for the other, and together, they're stronger than any curse.
Favorite Color: Blue, particularly royal blue and some teals.
Currently consuming: Black licorice with chocolate.
First ship: This is a hard one, since through elementary and most of middle school, I tended to go along with whatever I thought the author's intentions were and was more likely to unship something. The first non-endgame ship I got invested in was Sonya/Nikolai in War and Peace. I didn't like Nikolai, but Sonya did, and she was my favorite character, so I wanted her to be happy. The first non-canon couple I thought was meant to be together was also in War and Peace: Marya Bolkonskaya and Julie Karagina. My eighth grade self did not think their letters could be interpreted platonically. I still don't.
Last movie: If the musical doesn't count, the last movie I watched was Quest for Camelot, which was awful. Though not Robot Monster-level bad, Robot Monster has an elegance to its simplicity which Quest for Camelot lacks.
Currently working on: Various fics, most of them Arthuriana or CotRK-related (I am woefully behind on the Badfic Bingo), and (theoretically) an epic-style poem, though I haven't gotten much of it written for quite a while now.
Tagging: @gawrkin, @emperorcandy, @wildbasil, @gorewound, @knightsofsomethingorother, @ladyminaofcamelot, @tasosotaso, @amashelle, @gingersnaptaff (I have no idea who's been tagged so far, apart from the people on @oneshoulderangel's post, so I apologize for any multi-tags)
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A non-spoilery sneak peak at dragon descriptions from @girldragongizzard's second book, How to be Megnificent (to be released online fairly soon):
Brenna would be the one accompanied by a light skinned man in a straw hat, graying brown beard, and blond ponytail. Also partners, like Astraia and Caleb, only older and married with kids. Brenna looks like a really big wolf, like the Gmork from the Neverending Story, only with antlers, huge chicken feet, and her fur seems to be downy feathers. Her tail has spikes hidden in the fluff. Many scholars wouldnât dare call her a dragon, but I know better.
These are all of the type of dragon thatâs older than the word itself. The ones that got called dragons by the speakers of the word after their facts. Iâm more of a classic renaissance dragon. Or one from modern fantasy. I feel almost fake here. Out of place.
And Tannis, Iâm certain, is the one with the head of an eagle, the upper torso of a woman attached to where the neck would go on the body of a bear with bat wings, and a tail that looks like an octopus arm. She also has a human with her. A woman with dark skin and locs, dressed in neon pink and blue athletic gear.
Which leaves Wentin. A dragon with a âWâ name that I didnât give it. I know its pronouns because it had given them and its name on the server. Username eat_you, Iâm pretty certain itâs the dragon I had nicknamed Theremin, because it can sound exactly like one. Spooky as shit if itâs the only thing making noise in the middle of the night.
Wentin is without a human and looks like a dire lion with a head thatâs just a mix of all sorts of things. Its snout is as long, broad, and bulbous as that of a deinosuchus, but with lips and covered with that lion-like fur. Its eyes are forward facing and lidded, as expressive as any mammalâs, with enough cranium behind them to hold a sizeable brain. But its ears are a classic spiny finned dragonâs ears. And it has a dark brown mane of quills.
Wentin is big. Phenomenally big in comparison to the rest of us. And as I land it grins to show off its shark teeth, then opens its mouth to say, in a whiny, creaky voice, obviously using a syrinx way more expertly than I can, âHello, Queen Meghan. Welcome to my territory. It is so good to see you in person.â
Thereâs no way that Wentin could fit in a building or a house. A garage, maybe, if there was no hoard in it. And Iâve no clue what itâs been eating.
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Chapter 1: A Megnificent camping trip
Iâm thinking of a title for a book Iâm going to write someday. Hey, maybe youâre reading it right now!Â
If you are, please know that that title is supposed to be ironic and sarcastically self deprecating.
Because, instead of magnificent, Iâm Megnificent. And that totally changes the meaning of the word, and this is totally the most teenager thing Iâve thought to myself in decades.
Iâm utterly Megnificent, and Iâm stuck in the mountains, and I donât have survival skills.
Iâm watching the tiny speck of a helicopter recede over what I assume is the western horizon. From the birdsong Iâve heard, Iâm guessing itâs morning, and the sun is behind me. But also, I just know. I can feel North and South as if they are slopes in the fabric of spacetime, and I feel like I have a sense of which is which.Â
And that helicopter, which I hope to one day destroy, almost certainly brought me here.
The sky that itâs flying through is mostly clear, except for a sickly brown haze, and a column of billowing smoke coming from the south side of a mountain the vehicle is flying past, off near the horizon. One of the Summer's forest fires.
The mountain Iâm on is basically a big grassy dome surrounded by taller, pointier mountains. Iâm on the western slope of it, and Iâm looking out over a valley full of grasses and flowers. And I donât see any wildlife around me except for the bugs that are flying around everywhere. The bugs arenât very thick, though. Not like how I remember them the last time I went camping in a place like this, way back in high school. The birds I heard must be laying low or around the curve of the mountain and out of sight.
Theyâre especially laying low after I shouted my challenging cry at that helicopter in rage.
And now Iâm alone.
And Iâm hungry.
The only experience I have with this kind of situation is a survival unit I had in third grade, three camping trips up into the Pasayten Wilderness with my extended family when I wasnât much older, and two episodes of Man v.s. Wild that I watched ten years ago.
And all of that was geared toward educating and accommodating human beings. Not a dragon.
Iâm a dragon.
A city dragon.
I donât do this sort of thing.
I need to get back home.
The advice I got in third grade was find shelter as close to where you got lost as possible, find water, stay put, and make yourself as visible as possible. But the advice I got from TV was to find water, find food, and keep moving toward civilization. But those two bits of contradictory advice were given to a human child and an audience of human adults, and humans are endurance hunters, evolved to out endure their prey.
Also, humans canât fly.
I am, Iâm guessing, an ambush predator that flies. I digest my food slowly, and I need to rest right after eating to get it started well. I need to conserve my energy for short bursts that I use, mostly, to catch seagulls to eat and to scare away other dragons. Though, Iâve decided to work on preventing the need for that second one, and there are no seagulls out here.
And the last thing I ate was three pounds of minced chuck on Monday night. It digested fast and gave me a lot of energy, and didnât result in me puking up a ball of indigestible material I couldnât recognize.
And now Iâm hungry again, and I think I need to find something to eat and then fly west.
I canât afford to exert myself much while hungry, and no one is going to be looking for me.
On the other hand, I have this fucking tracker threaded through a damn hole in my left horn, and so Iâm being watched. So, if I do follow that helicopter, whoever did this will turn around and intercept me.
On the gripping hand? I donât have a gripping hand and thatâs a weird reference most people arenât going to get.
In my mouth, then â the third consideration that Iâm really focused on â most mountains within a dayâs car drive of where I live are all generally to the East, and that helicopter is going to land somewhere where there is fuel. I donât know its range and I donât know mine. But I can guess that my home is westward, and that following the helicopter will get me closer. However, in this day and age, if Iâm still in Washington State, I canât be more than a day or two of flight away from a restaurant or convenience store or gas station that I might be able to see from the air. I think.
Considering the lack of snow, Iâm probably not in Alaska or Canada, Iâm guessing. And the area looks vaguely familiar.
I think that I might actually be back in the Pasayten Wilderness.
If they wanted to rehome me but keep me in a climate that is close to what Iâm used to so as not to kill me, but in a wilderness area away from people, staying at the same latitude makes a certain amount of sense. So they probably just took me directly east.
Ridiculous.
There is so much that is ridiculous about this.
To review. On the one claw, I need to eat and get back home. On the other, theyâre tracking me. In my mouth, though, Iâm pretty sure I know just where they dropped me and how to find food I can eat.
Itâs mid morning, and to get food I need to fly, and Iâm on a mountain. What a great place to start!
Iâm way more down on myself than I sound like, Iâm sure. Iâm leaving out my worst thoughts because Iâm actively ignoring them. Partly because I know those kinds of thoughts can be deadly out here. Partly because Iâm a fucking dragon, and while I might be domesticated or something like that, I know I can hunt. Iâve done it.
And largely because those assholes drilled a hole through my horn without my consent, and Iâm more angry at them than at myself.
Iâm still Megnificent, though, for all that means.
Letâs take off and maybe change the meaning of that word a little.
â
Iâm flying higher than Iâve ever been and Iâm having a crisis.
Below me is the mountain I woke up on. Iâve discovered that it is sort of a crescent ridge, with a shallow slope on the west and south sides of it, and three deep depressions in the middle northeast of it, each with some water at the bottom. One pool of which is large enough Iâm going to call it a lake instead of a pond. Itâs the southernmost one.
And flying around that lake on the east side of the ridge I woke up on, in the morning sun, is a freaking bald eagle.
Iâm pretty sure itâs looking for fish in the lake.
Iâm higher than it and it has not noticed me. Iâve been up here for a while, nice and quiet, riding thermals, and it took off from a roost and started circling that lake, looking delicious to my instincts.
But itâs a bald eagle.
Last time I checked, Iâm a citizen of the United States and I am not allowed, by law, to eat that.
I think.
I am so hungry, but I really shouldnât eat the bald eagle.
â
Once Iâm soaring, flying around feels a lot like resting, to be honest. Itâs almost like my wing-joints can lock into place, and the effort to keep them extended is minimal. And the summer sun keeps me alert and ready to dive at any prey I deem worthy of eating.
If I go too high, thereâs a wind that blows me eastward, which I do not want. So, every time I start getting buffeted by that, I drop and head a little further West. But Iâm mostly circling right now looking for food and thinking.
Iâve allowed myself to do this into the midafternoon, hoping to catch better thermals and also to maybe find some wild food I can eat to sustain me. But, itâs looking like Iâm going to have to get some water soon instead.
I can backtrack a little to my mountain and the lake there.
Or, Iâve gotten high enough I caught glimpses through the western mountains of a huge, long lake running north and south, with the south end right at the base of the mountain that's on fire. And Iâm guessing thatâs Ross Lake, and there might be people camping there.
I mean, there might be people camping anywhere around here. Itâs early September and not a bad time for it if you donât have kids. But Ross Lake is more dense with campsites, and has roads going to it.
If course, that fire makes it less likely.
On the northwest side of the burning mountain, thereâll be Ross dam, and campsites on the roads, and higher likelihood of finding a tool that can be used to get this tracking tag off of me. If Iâm remembering and guessing correctly. If the rangers let anyone camp there right now.
And I think I can make that by the end of the day.
The fire looks like itâs spreading south, not north, and there's the whole bulk of the mountain between it and the lake.
It's worth a shotÂ
Iâm starting to think, based on my flying time and circling, that I maybe could have made it all the way back home if Iâd started out that direction first thing.
But I think I want this tracker off before I do that.
â
Itâs getting near dusk when I make it to the southern tip of the big long lake, and thereâs a dam, and a couple campsites with lights in them. A fire and a camper, I think.
And my eye catches a large, squat looking bird flying between trees below me.
Without thinking or planning, I drop.
Itâs not a bald eagle.
The startled and anguished cry of a great horned owl followed by the furious flapping of dragon trying to avoid an abrupt landing must be an odd thing to human ears. I cannot imagine a time in my life before my metamorphosis that Iâve heard anything like it.
The owlâs neck is broken an instant after I slam into it mid air, and Iâm not going to bother to describe my process of eating it, because you donât need to know how awful it is. There are plenty of nature documentaries out there with video footage of crocodiles, alligators, and birds eating other birds, and thatâs close enough.
Iâm saving my memories of the sensations of it for when I need to appall and horrify someone I donât like much.
And Iâm really hoping there arenât any three or four year olds camping with mommy and daddy around to have heard or even seen me do that.
I expect that in the half dark of dusk in the wooded mountains, that that would be beyond nightmare inducing.
â
Iâm sorry, letâs review.
I was born in 1974, and nothing seemed to fit me. I didnât like who or what I was, and I was confused about life until at nine years old I saw a movie about cartoon dragons and realized that I must be a dragon stuck in the body of a human boy. Only, I wasnât a boy, either.
And up until a week and a half ago, I thought that that was my lot in life, regardless of what happened. I didnât grow out of it. I just buckled down and tried to learn everything I could about dragons while attempting to survive in the ways of my local humans.
And that took its toll, and I was never really able to work, and I ended up on SSI with a couple of disabilities, chronic fatigue and C-PTSD. And then I managed to land a HUD sponsored living situation in the Magnolia Apartments in my home town of Fairport, Washington.
Which is where I was when I awoke on the morning of Saturday, August 24, to find my body mysteriously transformed into the visage of my dreams. Literally. Every detail of it has been familiar to me, if somehow also new, because it matches who and what I am.
And the people I knew, acquaintances who Iâd hoped to one day call friends, all bafflingly recognized me even more easily and accepted me into their lives.
It was quite lovely, if bewildering, for three days, until, after my Tuesday counseling appointment, I was attacked in my own apartment, through the wall, by Joel.
Joel is a dragon who I was calling Whitman for a while, because he makes a sound that Iâd describe as a âyawpâ. And he looks like a cross between a vampire bat, a hippo, and a velociraptor, with the mouth of the hippo, the ears and wings of the bat, and the tail of the raptor. Heâs actually a sympathetic guy, but it took us a while to iron that out.
Weâre still not on friendly terms.
But, in fighting Joel, I found my challenge cry, which I then started using in the morning like a bird. And the other dragons of Fairport, one or two in each neighborhood surrounding me, answered back!
And thatâs how I found out that I wasnât remotely alone in my metamorphosis.
Somewhere in there, I met and befriended a delightful autistic enby named Chapman with a special interest in dragons and a surprising secret. Chapman almost immediately teamed up with my lovely neighbor, Rhoda, to support me in navigating my new social life as a city dragon amongst other city dragons.
But despite their help, it became a serious mess really quick. Probably because I kept screwing up and making a bloody, violent, and extremely loud nuisance of myself and my neighboring dragons.
I was trying to do things right. I was following my intuition, or instincts, and aiming for a draconic diplomacy. But that doesnât go over very well with a hundred thousand neighboring humans.
And even though I seemed to have made inroads and plans with Mayor Lynn Chisholm, whoâs daughter turned out to be a dragon, too, I also got the attention of the richest land owner in the county, Daniel Säure. And itâs old Dan who is the one that Iâm sure owns that surplus Coast Guard helicopter, and the company that runs it.
The last time I encountered the police on poor terms, just after interviewing the mayor, they were armed with tranquilizer darts and working with that chopper, which has Wildlife Management markings on it. A company called Equisetum Wildlife.
And it was they who tranqued me in my sleep and flew me out here, Iâm sure of it.
And Iâm pretty sure that drilling a fucking hole through my horn is not best practices when it comes to tagging wild animals.
For one, Iâm not a wild animal. Iâm a domesticated dragon with a social security number and a disability case file. I live in a symbiotic relationship with humans and many of them treat me like one of their own. I even use AAC (Augmentative and Alternative Communication) on a tablet to talk to them. I drink coffee that I buy with my money.
But also, that weakens the horn, and I use that horn. It increases the chance that it will break, right through that hole, and Iâll lose the tracker then. Though thatâs not how I want it to go.
I like my horns.
Iâm pretty sure they put it there because they didnât know what else to do, though. I can get to any part of my body with my teeth, except for the back of my head. And I can get to the back of my head with two sets of claws (my foreclaws and my wing claws). They improvised, and I hate it.
So that probably gives you an idea of why Iâm in the mood Iâm in while Iâm swallowing that owl whole.
Did I ever mention that I can breath and even make noise while Iâve got something halfway swallowed?
I donât think I did.
Well, I can.
I donât bother with the sounds, because it comes out muffled and unimpressive. But itâs really handy to be able to breathe that way.
Probably not a good idea to try to breath fire, though. Fire doesnât come out my nose, ever. Itâs always a mouth thing for me.
This seems like an oversite in evolutionary design, but no oneâs actually overseeing draconic evolution that we know of. Except maybe us dragons ourselves.
And that's yet another thing.
Chapmanâs secret, which Iâve promised not to tell anyone, is that sie awoke and went through hir own kind of invisible metamorphosis years before us dragons did. And, along with anyone like hir, sie can perform something that sie calls hir âartâ. Which is basically magic, as far as Iâm concerned. And I can sense it whenever sie does it near enough to me.
And one of the things that Chapmanâs art revealed is that Iâm parthenogenetic. I can harvest and store DNA from a variety of donor vertebrates, usually from their spermatozoa but maybe even from their ovum if I can get them safely, and then mix and match without a single mate of my own bioform if I donât want one. And in that process, I can bear a clutch of eggs full of baby egg producing dragons of various and varying chimerical traits.
And thatâs presumably why every dragon is so wildly different.
Out there, somewhere, is probably a dragon who can breathe fire, or something, through their nose. But itâs not me.
Fortunately, no one interrupts my meal.
â
Owl and a couple small river rocks in my crop, I approach the camper. Itâs most likely to have the tools I want, and its lights are still on.
To make sure Iâm not startling its occupants, Iâm occasionally saying the most soothing words I know, of the thirteen Iâve learned to imitate with my syrinx. I donât have my tablet, so communication is going to be a bear.
âMeg,â my name. And then, âOkay,â and âPeace.â And I repeat those in alternating patterns as I near the vehicle.
In immediate retrospect I probably should have just exclaimed, âShit,â which I learned in the voice of a young man named Caleb. It might have garnered more sympathy, instead of sounding unbelievably creepy.
Have you ever seen that Farside comic with the deer dressed up as a hunter and saying, âHowdy! The vacuum bag is hot today! Howdy!â? Yeah. That.
The door of the camper slams open and I find myself staring down the double barrels of a gun right into the eyes of a grizzled man who suddenly finds he canât move a muscle, not even his trigger finger, because heâs locked eyes with a dragon.
And then I say, âShit.â
âHarold?â I hear from inside the camper. ��Are you OK? What is it?â
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New book starts tomorrow at 6:30 am Pacific Time
Join me in my morning song as I pump the world full of words about dragons!
How to be Megnificent is my sequel to my first book, now titled Meghanology, and it begins right where the first one left off. With me stranded in the mountains!
And it will be published right here on my blog.
Also available to read on ScribbleHub
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Out of context quote from chapter 7 of @girldragongizzard's sequel book, How to be Megnificent:
Iâve decided Iâm not putting up with any more vague bullshit from Artists.
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