#how someone can /make/ me feel loved and seen and unashamed

[eoin-mcgonigal]

my friend just asked me to explain why i love sas rogue heroes + go into detail about my paddyeoin love....... anyway, peace and love on planet earth

[quicktosimp]

I Must Please You

Kinktober Day 13

Tsu’tey/Human!Reader

Warnings: In Public, Cunniligous, Fingering, Size Kink, Minor Strength Kink

Thank you @pandoraslxna for all your hard work 💖

Dividers by @plutism

Being mated to Tsu’tey is a dream. You will never find a man more devoted to you than him. It’s like his one goal in life is to take care of his mate. He knows your favorite food without you telling him, and he always brings you extra. He knows your moods; no matter what, he knows how to read you and how to fix the situation. He knows how to please you, every corner and crevice, how to make you scream. Tsu’tey knows how to care for you like it’s the only reason he was born. This leads us to where we are now.

“Tsu’tey! Love, please!” I moan, unashamed, into the open air.

“Quiet, ma Yawne, someone will hear you.” He smugly scolds.

Today, Tsu’tey is training, and I came to watch. Seeing his muscles move under his skin, he barely breaks a sweat while sparing with all of his students. He quickly works through the line of students, never once losing.

Watching him move like that would get anyone hot and bothered. Yet I sat there, nearly drooling over Tsu’tey, unable to take my eyes off him. Bulging muscles and throwing the occasional student, my panties have been soaked for over an hour.

I watched as he sniffed the air, a confused look on his face before he turned to me. His eyes went wide for a moment before going dark.

“All of you, take a break! I expect you back by the next hour!” He snapped at the group of students who rushed to obey his commands.

Tsu’tey stocks over to me, his pupils wide, “Ma Yawne, I can smell you from the other side of the ring. What has caused your arousal?” He asks, kneeling to my height.

A blush overtakes my face, not realizing that I would be caught so quickly, “I didn't know that I smelt that much.” I brush off, unable to meet his eyes.

“It is not something that others would smell,” His eyes are fond, “I can smell each shift in your scent. I know your arousal better than my own.” Tsu’tey admits, gabbing my hands. He takes them and places his nose next to my wrist. Even as a human, the wrists secrete pheromones, “Now tell me, Yawne, why do you smell as if we have been entwined together?”

“It is nothing. Let’s discuss this once we are back at our kelku.” I stand to leave, not thinking that it would put my cunt next to his face.

A deep growl escapes his chest, “Yawne, I can smell that you are wet. If I were to take off your tewng, I know you would be soaked.” His nose brushes against my clothed cunt.

“Tsu’tey! You can’t do that here! Anyone could see!” I whispered harshly, scandalized, my eyes roaming the area, fear of being seen.

“Ba, no one would dare to disobey my orders.” Tsu’tey dismisses the thought, “Besides, all they would see is a man pleasuring his Muntxate. There is no shame in that.” His head stayed between my thighs.

I balk at the idea, “You don’t do that in public. It’s something that you do in the privacy of your home.” I rationalize.

“But it is private. It is just us. No one will return soon.” Tsu’tey assured, becoming confused.

“I-I, I don’t know,” my resolve fading.

“I wish to take care of you, tìyawn,” Tsu’tey rubs his face on my stomach.

I stood there for a moment, thinking, “You promise no one will see us?” I ask.

A beautiful smile caresses his face, “I will make sure no one sees you, tìyawn,” Tsu’tey holds my face in his hands and kisses me. His plush lips overtake mine in a sweet embrace.

I moan softly at his actions, being held so firmly but sweetly. I wrap my arms around Tsu’tey’s neck, my hands tangling onto his braids. A soft lick to my bottom lip and I open eagerly. Tsu’tey’s long, thick tongue enters my mouth, not leaving any space untouched. I attempt to play with his tongue with my own, but there’s no room for me to move my own. I trail my hands over the sides of his face, feeling his ears move as I thumb at his scared ear. Tsu’tey’s tail flicks around, wrapping around my waist.

Our lips part, our saliva mixing between us, shining in the bright sky, “You’re perfect for me, Yawne.” Tsu’tey eyes were filled with devotion as his hands trailed down to my tweng. “May I?” He asks.

I look around, still nervous of doing such an act in public. I nod my head in acceptance. His fingers easily untie the straps to my tweng, dropping it to the ground, my slick dripping into the floor. Now, I’ve exposed my bottom half to the open training area. I gasp softly, unsure what I think of this.

Tsu’tey lay a kiss on my navel, sucking a mark onto the soft flesh, “Look at me, Yawne, do not take your eye off of me.”

I obey and stare into Tsu’tey’s green eyes, which are full of love. His hands grasp my thighs, kneading the supple flesh. I watch as Tsu’tey sticks his tongue out obscenely, slowly moving toward my pussy. His lips wrap around my entire cunt, sucking it into his mouth. My knees wobble from the sensation. I would have fallen to the floor if it weren't for Tsu’tey’s hold on my thighs. The warmth of his mouth encouraged the flames inside my core. I could feel my blood flowing to my pussy with each suck, pulling on my folds and clit. I close my eyes, relaxing from the pleasure before I feel two fingers tap at my thigh. I open my eyes to look at Tsu’tey, only to find his boring into mine. I keep hold of his gaze, and he rewards me by flicking his tongue on my clit.

“Tsu’tey!” I gasp, rolling my hips into his mouth.

I can feel the vibrations from his laugh on my cunts, bringing me more pleasure before his mouth leaves my pussy.

I whine in protest, confused as to why he would stop.

“Mawey Yawne. I am going to make this better.” He chuckled at my plight.

Tsu’tey picked me up by my thighs, “Babe!” I shout in surprise.

Tsu’tey laughs due to my reaction; it’s why he always does this. He leans me against a tree so my cunt is level with his mouth as he spreads my thighs wide.

Tsu’tey’s eyes roam my body, taking in the sight, “This will be much better for us.” with that, his mouth is on my cunt, eating it with fervor. My toes curled at the sensation, with loud groans spilling out.

“Oh fuck! Tsu’tey!” I shout into the arena.

Tsu’tey laughed into my cunt, amused by my reaction. His tongue started to play, wiggling around, trying to fit it into my hole. His large tongue is thicker than three of my fingers and longer than my hand. I can feel as he tries to bully it into my cunt.

“Too big! You’re not gonna fit!” I no longer care about my volume.

Tsu’tey doesn’t respond to my concern; instead, he shifts me, my knees now next to my shoulders, and his thrusting becomes more persistent, and his tongue forces itself inside.

“Tey! Big! Good! Fuck!” I chant.

Tsu’tey’s tongue becomes more erratic, thrusting and wiggling inside, making room for more of his tongue. The stretch of his tongue was immense, the burn feeling so good. My cunt was throbbing from the pleasure, clit twitching with each suck. I look into his eyes and see smugness and something I can’t place with his tongue bulling my pussy.

Teeth.

Tsu’tey’s top teeth scrape against my clit, grinding the sharp teeth into my clit, bringing a stabbing painful pleasure.

“Tsu’tey! Love, please!” I moan, unashamed, into the open air.

“Quiet, ma Yawne, someone will hear you.” He smugly scolds me before diving back down to my cunt. Eating it like it was his last meal.

Tongue thrusting back in like it was never gone, teeth grinding and nipping where they could, the sucking pulling on everything. My back scratching at the rough bark of the tree. Everything was too much; the pleasure was building too fast.

“Tey, gonna cum!” I wail, my core tight and ready to unleash.

Tsu’tey sped up the best he could. His thumbs trailed to my nipples, slipping under my chest covering, rolling my nipples.

“Tey! Tey! Tey!” I chant his name into the forest, Cumming! I’m cumming!” I scream.

Cum gushes from my cunt, and I can feel him swallow all of it, but he doesn’t stop there. Tsu’tey keeps going, licking and sucking for more, even after I am noting more than a twitching mess.

“Baby, I’m done, you made me cum already.” I weakly protest.

Tsu’tey slowly pulled away after giving one last suck, almost regretful to leave.

“Do you feel better, tìyawn? Have I stated you properly?” Tsu’tey asked genuinely.

I smile down at him, bewildered that he thinks I wasn’t properly sated when his face is covered in my cum, “Yes, love, I feel amazing,” He lowers me down and cradles me to his chest.

“Good. It would be dishonorable if I did not take care of your needs.” He says, as he gently maneuvers my tweng back on me. I kiss his soundly in thanks, tasting myself on his lips.

The training party came back soon after, with a large number of men and women, followed by Jake and Neytiri; Jake was heading to Tsu’tey and Neytiri to me.

“Brother! Why did you send them away? It is unlike you.” Jake asks in concern.

“It is nothing. I just gave them a small break. Nothing to worry about.” Tsu’tey dismissed.

Neytiri whispered in my ear with a wolfish grin, “So, how was having your mate in the training area? Jake and I did it last week.”

[mynonclicheblog]

If you have ever thought about watching Lockwood & Co. on Netflix, even in passing, please do so! Right now! This is your sign, it's the perfect time!

I apologize for being the asshole who cross-tags, I swear it's not normally me. But hear me out, I mean this with my chest: if you're someone who enjoys the YA genre whatsoever - especially when it comes to ~a group of young people~ banding together to ~fight off supernatural threats~ - then Lockwood & Co is perfect for you! (see I'm doing you a favor, just trust me😂)

It's about ✨the unique characters, the found family, the mysteries, the worldbuilding, the slowburn, the vintage/modern aesthetic, the soundtrack, the cluttered kitchen coziness, the cinematography, the attention to detail, the layers and nuanced storytelling!!!✨ It's literally the most captivating YA-led show I've ever seen, and I'm a big fan of Stranger Things and Shadow & Bone.

It's the character work in Lockwood & Co that makes it stand out from the rest. The main trio fills the hole in my heart. They're so unique and flawed and SHAPED, and the way they interact/work together is like crack for your soul. It's ridiculous how addicting their dynamic is.

Let's see what Twitter has to say...

This show heavily features themes of finding a family and a reason to live & die because of the home you've found with each other. I promise that you will fall in love with these precious, broken kids as quickly as I did.

Brief character descriptions under the cut, cause you're already this far, so why not?

This is Lucy Carlyle! She is wildly talented, takes no shit, and has suffered a lot in her past but holds so, so much capacity for loving others. She is sassy, practical, empathetic, and grounding.

This is Anthony Lockwood, aka tumblr babygirl who uses a facade of confident swagger to mask the well of pain he harbors underneath. He is charismatic, ambitious, reckless, and soft hearted.

And this is George Karim. He is the MOST precious bean who is a brilliant researcher, though struggles sometimes with feeling out-of-step. He is sarcastic, excitable, unashamed, and dedicated.

At the end of the day - all I can say is sorry for the brief invasion into your tag, but also THANK YOU for your consideration in reading this, and thanks in advance for checking out Lockwood & Co 😉💖✨ I cannot emphasize enough how much you won't regret it!

[gimmethosedaddymilkers]

You've Got The World in Your Eyes

I KNOW I HAVE A LOT OF REQUEST TO FILL I PROMISE THEY WILL BE IVE JUST BEEN SWAMPED, THESE LIL THINGS ARE THINGS I DO BEFORE I PASS OUT LMAO

That being said

Guys im so lonely and constantly afraid I'll never find a husband so these little things make me feel a little better desoite the fact that Arthur isn't real and I'll never have him, and I'd be INCREDIBLY lucky if I find someone whos even slightly like him.

Anywho

Have some more crumbs of our boy

WARNINGS: fluff arthur, femalre reader, drunken talking

Tags: @mrsarthurmorgan7 @photo1030 @kieropal @cantchoosejust1

You stared ahead, a smile crossing your face as the fire illuminated both you and everyone else sitting around the fire at Horseshoe Overlook.

You were far too drunk to really care if the person of your interest really caught onto your staring.

You couldn't tell anyone who asked just how much you'd drank.

In your defense Sean had dared you to drink more than him for his return party, and of course, with everyone in high spirits you'd agreed, and you were hardly able to say to anyone that you were sober.

So, you stared unabashidly, unashamed, at the man sitting across the fire from you, singing along with the rest of the gang, albeit not that well.

Yet that deep voice of his balanced out the lighter tones of Pearson and Sean, as well as Javier and Uncle.

Oh, what a man he was, that Arthur Morgan.

Attractive beyond what was reasonable, smart, too, with a good head on his shoulders, and strong, strong enough....well to put it frankly strong enough to do things to you that you wouldn't rightky say out loud to someone.

The firelight bounced against his jaw as he continued to sing along, to a now much sadder song that what the group had been singing before.

His face was littered with scars, most of them covered by that stubble that you'd come to love so much.

His eyes too.

A part of you, even drunk, hoped he'd look at you, so you could see those beautiful eyes of his.

They were blue, like the sky, but they had so many other colors in them it was hardly fair to say they matched the sky.

They were flecked with green, and almost gold near his iris's, and in normal circumstances you'd never admit that you'd paid that much attention to it.

But right now, you could only try to sit and figure out what to compare those eyes too.

They were sea green sometimes, and steely grey other times, but that blue is what shines through the most.

His eyes were so expressive too, you could see when he was worried or concerned, you could tell when he was happy, or angry, just by looking at his eyes, you didn't need th rest of his features to tell.

To you, those eyes held the universe, your universe, your world, in them.

Arthur finally turns his head to see you, and as he does, something within him seems to change.

Drunk as he is he doesn't feel much heat, not until he meets your eyes.

That smile plastered to your face sends butterflies through him, and all he can see is just how gorgeous and kind you are.

He's loved you for longer than he cares to admit, but he's never thought that you could feel the same, not until that moment.

He can't help but offer a tiny smirk back to you, and for a moment you see something in his eyes that you're not completely sure you've seen there before, and it's aimed at you.

It sends sparks throughout your body, it nearly sobers you right then and there.

That beautiful, unwavering, returning stare, of love.

[followerofmercy]

Fanfic 20 questions! I was gonna say 'fuck it I love talking about myself even if nobody tagged me' and then realized @hua-fei-hua already did like. Two weeks ago. Whoops aldsjf I don't check my mentions. ANYWAY THANKS HOMIE

1. How many fics do you have on AO3?

Currently 119. Should be 120 in a week or two

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

361,556 published. We can add another 60k that is written but unpublished for Monoceros Novae, 9k miscellaneous Hearthling notes, 24k unpublished honkai notes and another 50k in my general notes document.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Actively rn, only Genshin and Honkai. I'll write for other stuff when I feel like it.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Missing Person - Hollow Knight, genfic, little ghost and Quirrel - 1500 kudos (this is why small fandoms are the best alsdfj)

I Need to Leave Him Before He Leaves Me - Genshin, Alhaitham/Kaveh - 987 kudos (helped a lot of people think about their autism with this one lmao)

Homeward Bound - Hollow Knight, genfic, little ghost and Quirrel - 757 kudos (Idk why this one blew up. Wasn't that great but I appreciate the attention. Probably people sorting by kudos)

How 4.1 Should've Gone - Genshin, Aether/Lyney kicking Wriothesley's ass - 656 kudos (First and only time rewriting canon. Surprised at how well received it was)

Abusing the World Tree - Genshin, Lumine/Scaramouche - 643 kudos (Yk I used to really hate this fic and I still do, but not as much as I used to. I still think the entire premise is Horror instead of cute, but I think I did good with the prompt. )

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always. I literally only write fanfic in order to connect with people alsdfj why the fuck wouldn't I take an opportunity to yap. I judge my success as a writer by how I make my readers feel/helping them realize something about themselves/etc and the communication is really fulfilling

I mean sometimes I don't reply if it's literally just like, a heart emoji, which I still appreciate but I don't have a lot to go off of there

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably the one where Steven Universe walks off a cliff on accident while he's sad and can't control his fall speed anymore and dies. I was much younger when I wrote it asldfkj.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

That I'm proud of? No clue. Probably another Steven Universe one where Steven and Connie went to prom.

I will say that A Bard Walks in and Hugs the Bartender is my favorite 'happy' ending fic because of a comment I got on it. It's a story about forgetting details about deceased loved ones and the guilt that comes with that and then comfort that that's a natural part of the process, and someone let me know that they felt so seen. They said the forgetting is a part of grieving that doesn't get addressed enough and it was so nice to see it in writing and I'm like. Pack it up boys we've officially won writing! My writing has fundamentally changed a real life person. I have achieved what I consider success.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Very rarely and usually unintentionally. Had a dude call Arlecchino a 'psychotic bitch' in a comment where they were genuinely trying to praise my writing, but on a fic intended to show her doing her best and I'm like. I don't really have the energy to debate why that was rude and I'm blocking you. Bro if you see this tumblr post and you didn't intend to, like, shit on the entire premise and everything I love about that character, hmu in DMs and we can talk asldfkj. Otherwise please find other authors to read

Otherwise I think I'm secure enough in my interests and unabashedly unashamed of anything Problematique I write that bullies decide to choose better targets?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes and I've given up writing normal sex. I'm not good at it. I have a weird kind of medical kink where I think the word penis is sexier than cock and, yk, most people would disagree. I'm both better at writing gore and horror that achieves the same kind of intimacy with a slight sexual bend, and I get more fulfillment out of it. Anatomy of a Blade remains one of my proudest works.

Also I prefer writing it as a character study. I love finding jackoff material but I can't write it for shit. Pour one out for the authors doing what I can't asldkjf

10. Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've ever written?

Nah. The setting is usually so important to my interpretation of a character that I just Can't put them somewhere else. Same with AUs. I'd rather write an original story at that point. I will fantasize about it occasionally tho.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yesn't? I've had a few lines ripped, especially for rarepairs, but I had such an unfortunate thing happen recently asdlkjf. This new author so excitedly asked me if they could use one of my fics for inspiration and I'm like "omg of course!!! I'm so flattered!" because I was! and then when they finished writing it and told me about it I was so excited to read it!!!

and then I did

I'm sitting here like "...Who's gonna tell them that this is actually plagiarism without embarrassing them and completely crushing their motivation to write ever again" asldfkjasdf;l

like OBVIOUSLY they were not trying to steal, because why the fuck would they announce it to me. But also I don't want them to be served a cease and desist later down the line so we had to have a little talk and it's all good now. I'm really excited to see what they write next!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Supposedly! I've had several people ask me if they could and then just. Never followed up aldk;fskj. It's a shame because I'm absolutely fascinated by linguistics and would love to pick their brains about what translation choices they made and why.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Sorta? Ray did one chapter as an epilogue to one of mine, and I think I've worked with Sen a few times on shorter pieces. Otherwise I'm a bit of a selfish writer and a control freak adsljf

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Constantly changing. I'm currently on a Bootheng and Zhongxiao kick, tho once I watch more of Madoka Magica I'm probably gonna lose my mind over Homura/Madoka. Also Adora/Catra as I watch more Shera.

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Literally too many to list. See question 1 and the 50k words worth of notes

I have so many ideas that I really need to pick and choose what I work on because there literally just isn't enough time in the world - unless I start doing cocaine or something, but even then I think I'd still have the same problem. Join my discord server if you're an adult and wanna hear me whine about it asdlfkj

16. What are your writing strengths?

Fitting body language and other scene description with dialogue. I don't see images in my head and I think in motion a lot, so I think I do a really good job of keeping a scene rolling while people are talking without having to bring everything to a screeching halt to describe, idk, the color of the carpet on the stairs.

Also emotional damage

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably longer works? I lose drive to work on anything over 6k words pretty easily and I also struggle with pacing. I'm insisting on finishing Monoceros Novae so it can be my first novel because everyone's first novel sucks ass. I'm getting it out of the way so my original works will hopefully go better asldkfj

Oh. Also what people look like. Fuck you you get a pronoun and maybe a hair color. If Martha Wells can do it with Murderbot, so can I lmao.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Just for the love of God don't put it in italics unless you're making a point that the person using the other language doesn't use it naturally. I'd like to highlight the poem Kupu Rere Ke by Alice Te Punga Somerville for my feelings on it alsdkjf.

Also gonna copy stardustdiving's answer and say that it's great for multilingual characters and places it makes sense, but I personally think it's a little annoying when it's just a shippy pet name to be cute without, like, some kind of basis for it. Notably Childe calling Zhongli Xiansheng. It's fine if he would say that BUT HE WOULDN'T. He'd call him Mr., Sir or Motherfucker Ratbastard Whyaren'tyoudeadyet

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Undertale! Surprised at how well a lot of the fics have held up over the years.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Changes a lot as I develop as a writer. I'm really proud of Frustrations of the Hunt and this is the vibe I want my original writing to have.

I'm also really proud of my one and only FMAB fic about Alphonse getting pants. It's more serious than it sounds.

I actually have a collection of my works that I'm really proud of too!

Let's tag @resplendent-chungus. Do it bitch /affectionate

[radnewspaperroom]

Solomon observation for lesson 11

I'm gonna do a read more in case some of you haven't yet, but make sure you block the different spoiler tags in your settings to avoid spoilers in the future, ok?

I find Solomon's whole interaction with Belphie to be mind boggling. Solomon has always been the kind to playfully act ignorant of jabs at him and blame for situations that he outright causes and brings about.

During S4, he helps Belphie and Satan with a prank that actually causes Lucifer to be bound to Solomon and Mephistopheles. But plays innocent at first.

Here we see him unashamed, correcting the blame and being willing to be public enemy number 1. A good mirror to Mammon's odd blame taking during the Cerberus excursion. Mammon is known for abandoning MC to his brothers wrath of him, and using them as a shield for balme (the custard) but he steps up and tells the truth about who got everyone to go to the castle

And, did anyone else get a little freaked out and think "we're about to see Solomon do something with his full chest? Like actually put forth a great deal of effort into fucking the boys up....if need be?"

We've never seen Solomon truly angry before. Peeved off maybe, but full on wrath/anger/rage? Not yet. Still haven't I don't believe. But he's made it Crystal clear he is feeling things that aren't just neutrality and mischievousness.

But I worry he's doing his regression arc. He's treating demons like ticking time bombs, which is fair on one hand. But he's removed himself in a way that kinda makes me think he's a hypocrite. Like he's better than them because he's not a demon.

He automatically assumes the worst about the lot, instead of just taking it out on Belphie for attacking MC. He claims they're ganging up on MC and takes offense to it.

He still sees them as "other" than himself, and always keeps how to deal with them specifically in mind. Always keeping them at arms length. Never fully allowing anyone to get close and Allow himself to be vulnerable.

And not just with the brothers, but with MC too.

How much do we (MCs) know about Solomon?

1. He can't grow old or die from sickness, but he is killable.

2. He's ancient. Far older than he claims he can remember.

3. He's had a pact with Barbatos for centuries.

4. He's a scientist/alchemist at heart. The sentence: "for science!" Was basically made for fuckers like him.

5. He claims ignorance to sarcasm, taking people's insults as compliments.

6. He can't cook and He accidentally even makes potions when cooking. (Swear I think it's cause he's immortal. He's 'for science'd his way into the kitchen and developed a fucked up sense of taste)

7. He's known 13 just a bit longer than Barbatos, or so it seems currently.

8. He's got a one track mind. Once he's got an experiment going, good luck getting his attention till he's done.

9. He's traveled through time before.

10. He likes to keep secrets. Even from MC about seemingly the most trivial things.

11. He sees demons as puppets and tools to be used, not really friends to be close with. He started to change that in the OG, but again, I'm worried this is regression era, where he's gonna slide back into old habbits.

I also worry it's a bit of jealousy making him act out. This is the most time since MC was stuck in the human world with no teleportation magic that he's gotten to spend with them.

He's gotten to live with them at Cocytus Hall, eat dinner every night with them. Go shopping. He's getting that newly wed experience the brothers have got since day 1.

Once the brothers accept MC as human, that'll come to a crash and burn. Simeon and Luke will go back to the celestial realm and MC's room will be open for them to go to (return to) and his honeymoon phase will be over as the newly infatuated brothers aren't gonna be keen on sharing their new love with him. It'll be just like present day

I said it in a different post, but Solomon has got issues, when it comes to having faith in someone other than himself.

He doesn't trust Asmo or Barbatos 100% cause they're demons, and he doesn't trust MC blindly yet, despite or perhaps because both of them are human.

He's constantly thinking about the next move, or 20 potential ones in any situation and calculating how to Speedrun the best outcome. And to be a scientist about it, he can't let feelings sway his ultimate decision.

He's got a staggering inability to just say "I trust you", take a backsest or to trust MC's judgement. He wouldn't be able to answer MC if they asked him to trust them over the grimmore thing.

If you choose the "I'll follow your lead" option before meeting Lucifer, he says this...

Solomon doesn't have faith in anyone but himself, and seeing MC's faith in him is enough to make him be vocal about it. Like he's honestly surprised his apprentice and romantic partner trusts him fully.

If there's something MC has buckets of: it's moxie and faith, and god damn if that ain't one hell of a combination.

[honey-from-hell]

Red, White, & Royal Blue Movie Rant

Spoilers. All the spoilers. You've been warned.

I'm going to be talking pretty negatively about the movie, and if you don't want that, please, please scroll. I'm not trying to rain on anyone's parade. I know how important this movie is to a lot of people and the last thing I want is to upset anyone with my opinions. I just need to get my thoughts down. I'm a list autistic (yes, ha, like Alex).

My ramblings about this are not in any way meant to take away the importance of this movie. It is sacred in a way to a lot of people, the same way Harry Potter was when it came out (fuck JKR). It makes people feel seen despite how good or bad it is and that is important. This is my opinion on this piece of media as just a movie, as a thing. NOT as a concept that is good and needed and unashamed. I really hope this is the beginning of more feel-good queer movies. As a queer person, as an American in a time of trans-bills who is dating a trans person, this movie is powerful. But like, also bad. And I have opinions on it. 

So, I didn't like the movie. The mixture of the promos, the R rating, and the 90% it had on Rotten Tomatoes before it came out definitely got my hopes up. And I love the book. But in the end, I don't like the movie. I wasn't expecting something worthy of awards and critical acclaim, but I was expecting something more.

I think the reason I can say I didn't like the movie and not something more along the lines of, "I enjoyed it despite its problems," is because of how many issues I have with it. If it was just pacing, or just the cheesiness, or just an actor I think I would have liked it. But I pretty constantly went, "Oh, I don't like that." And the issues just kept stacking.

Going into it, I knew the main differences from the book were the lack of June and the fact Ellen and Oscar weren't divorced. And I think those two huge elements that play a part in Alex's character are really apparent in the movie. I thought Alex was kind of flat. I thought a lot of the characters were kind of flat. And this one is going to piss a lot of people off, but I didn't like Nicholas Galitzine's acting at all. I think the moment the movie went from enjoyably bad to bad bad for me is the last third where it's from Henry's perspective. The scene where he started browsing the books in the red room like that was particularly awkward and stilted. A lot of his scenes felt like that, like he was acting for a play or something. It wasn’t realistic. Since he’s a main character, it really did affect my opinion of the movie as a whole. 

Amy and Zarah were amazing. And Stephen Fry as the King did a great job. Taylor Zakhar Perez’s acting was on point, most of the time. I think some of my favorite scenes were Alex interacting with his mom, Zarah, Amy, and Nora at the beginning of the movie. Also, I fucking loved Nora. I wish she had been in the movie more, and also explicitly bisexual. And Pez. I just really wanted Nora/June/Pez, but I digress, not having that is not what made the movie unenjoyable for me.

I tried not to compare it to the book as a way to determine how good or bad it was. Like, when I heard June wasn't a character, I didn't immediately go, "Well, that means it going to be bad." But one of the great things about the book is the way all the characters interact with each other, not just Alex and Henry. We get to see what kind of relationship Alex and June have with their mom as their mom and as the president. We get to see the White House Trio be goofy but genius young adults figuring themselves out. Those were the moments that flesh the characters out and make you care about them. And there just really wasn’t very much of that in the movie.

The R rating made me happy, for one, because Alex says “fuck” so much in the books. His potty mouth is commented on. It is part of his character. It’s such an easy way to portray this very genuine and good character as someone who is still brash and a bit of an asshole. I had also hoped that the rating would help it feel like the book (says the person desperately trying not to compare it to the book). It is supposed to be sexy and fun on top of being unapologetically queer. But on the flip side, that was such a PG-13 movie and I have a feeling whoever decides the rating of movies was being homophobic. Because a gay sex scene is more “inappropriate” than a straight one. I also associate a level of maturity with R-rated movies, not because of more mature content but because the people consuming the movie and the movie itself should appeal to a more mature audience. If that makes sense. But it felt like a Hallmark and Disney’s ever so slightly more raunchy lovechild. 

The pacing immediately took me out of the movie. It was like watching a movie on 2x speed. I totally get why so many people thought it should be a mini-series or something. And I know they couldn't fit all 400 pages into a movie, but there have been adaptations before that do a solid job. I don't think RWRB did. I feel like Alex’s character development was flat and a bit magical—unnatural and unearned. Like, Henry apologizes and suddenly they are BFFs.

AND THE EMAILS. That’s what the whole ending conflict and it felt very much forgotten. We got the text messages and stuff, but when it came to the emails, it was just voiceovers. I think, like in the book where Alex thinks about private email servers (which is like my favorite joke in the book, it’s so layered in so many ways), there needed to be the equivalent of that in the movie before to bring attention to it. But this catalyst just kind of gets overlooked until it’s relevant.

And motherfucking Miguel Ramos. He felt like just a juvenile addition by being into Alex and being big bad because he’s into Alex. It was kind of icky in a way the book avoided. In the book, it was about politics, and while icky, they didn’t use a queer character to achieve the big conflict. His character, and really the whole progression, reminded me a lot of fanfiction written by a new writer. Like, the concept is good but the execution is what holds it back. 

Okay, so, I for sure have more things I disliked than things I liked, but I did appreciate the humor. It was the one part that 100% felt like the book. It was stupid and inappropriate, but witty and compelling. The direct quotes had me fangirling. Zarah, Amy, and Nora. Just ugh. I’m gay. Shaan? I also miss his sweet ass. 

I didn’t expect this movie to be perfect but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed. I’ll try watching it again when I’m not in hyperfixation mode. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

EDIT: Also, Alex confirmed their relationship in the speech BEFORE the talk with the king. Like, Sir King Stephen Fry, it's already out there, man. The speech was supposed to take place after their talk with Philip and the King.

[prettytboyslut]

knives x blood x sh ment

i like to hurt myself. this isn't new.

i know this practice isn't healthy, but sometimes the urges feel impossible to beat. i try to be better with it, but it's just so meditative to watch each cut i give myself spring its own tiny pool of blood. something about the sight and the feeling of the pain quiets my brain in a way nothing else does. it quiets me in a way nothing else can.

i know the people around me have always hated that i do this. sometimes it feels like i can't help it. i've done this to myself for so long; and i know -- i know there's risk involved. i know to everyone else, this is unhealthy. i know sometimes, even with all of the harm reduction safeguards possible in place, i still get a little out of control with it.

now, hear me out: subbing in a knife x blood scene when i want to cut. i can feel how escalated my emotions are, and i know i won't be able to control myself once i start. still, the emotions will not subside. the urges will not go away. nothing is working, and i'm only growing more upset as the minutes pass.

i need the pain. i need the relief. i need to stop thinking.

walk with me.

i want knife play when i want to cut. i want to step outside of my comfort zone and give all control up in a moment where i'm seeking nothing but control. i want someone else to hurt me. not as a self-destructive thing; but as harm reduction. i want to trust someone else to help me find relief and take care of me when i cannot be trusted to do either for myself. i want them to decide where i get cut and how much. i want them to decide how deep, if we'll keep going, and for how long. i want my harmful urges to be turned into an action of love, care, affection.

i want to feel the familiar wave of relief and peace wash over my brain. i want to associate that feeling with something other than tearing myself apart for the sake of self harm. i want to feel taken care of. i want to feel seen. i want to feel met where i am in that moment. i want to feel understood and unashamed about this lifelong coping mechanism of mine.

i want it to be loving. i don't want it to be a hard scene. i have plenty of hard kink fantasies; this isn't one of them. this is wholly about the safety and care involved. this is wholly about protecting and honoring a completely different kind of vulnerability.

i don't like to let anyone see me like this. i don't like to let anyone see me in this state. i don't like to admit to wanting, needing to hurt myself. i don't like the vulnerability involved. it leaves me feeling ... bare. naked and on display in all of the worst ways.

i don't want this to be a hard scene. i want to communicate through it. i want to urge my partner to hurt me. i want to gently encourage them with sweet, quiet comments. i want little begs of "please, please hurt me," to escape my lips. i want to check in, make sure they're okay with this, reassure them that i am okay through it. i want to thank them for hurting me. i want to thank them for the relief. i want to thank them for feeling so safe. i want to thank them for being so good to me.

i want to hold each other close when the scene is all said and done. i want to be wrapped in each others arms as i continue to praise and thank my dom. i want to hear their quiet affirmations of how well i did and i want to melt completely into it. i want to melt completely into them. i want to kiss them all over and i want to melt into each other. i want to stay wrapped up with them, close and close and closer still. i want to kiss and kiss and kiss and i want to eventually drift to sleep, still curled up and tangled together. feeling safe, feeling at peace, and feeling so so much relief.

[icannotreadcursive]

Fannish Fest February, day 1: My First Fandom

Prompt from @thepromptfoundry

I really have two first fandoms, that I initially got into right around the same time, and I don’t think it’s worth digging into the calendar month by month to confirm which preceded the other.

One was Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Cats. My local PBS station ran every filmed version available of a bunch of ALW musicals one day, and I liked Joseph, wasn’t really into Jesus Christ Superstar, but Cats just tickled my little child brain something special.

I learned the whole show, front to back, including a fair bit of the choreography. I didn’t write it down because I couldn’t really write at the time, but I was making up fic—not that I knew to call it that.

I still love the show with my whole heart, have been in a production, it’ll always be dear to me, but I was obsessed as a kid.

The other was Harry Potter.

My mom started reading the series first, cuz she was unwell and couldn’t do a lot more than read. Then, she read the first two books to me.

Then we started getting me the audiobooks read by Jim Dale, and I really ought to find a fan mail address for him and send a thank you letter because that man taught me how to read.

I’m dyslexic and learning to read was a struggle for me, but long before I was diagnosed I learned to read by reading along over and over to the first few Harry Potter books. And, come to think of it, I’m not sure but I think my mom’s original copies must have been British editions because I picked up some British terminology and spellings that I’m pretty sure the original American releases localized.

As the series went on, I grew up with it, and was introduced to the concept of fannish community through it. My first written fanfic and my first published fanfic were for HP—that first published one is no longer up, and thinking back on it I cringe, but there’s also a fondness there for my unabashed unashamed enthusiasm and the real fun I had with that obvious self insert OC.

I learned media analysis and began honing my own story instincts, sitting down with my mom with those fan theory and prediction books that used to come out between HP book releases. We’d talk through the theories in those books, discuss their merits, how likely we thought they were based on the narrative trajectory so far. There’s a few things I called years before they were revealed, and in a couple cases, before me or my mom had seen anyone else in the fandom speculate about them.

That process, starting from when I was quite young, undoubtedly contributed to molding my brain into the story machine it is now and pointed me to my career and my calling as a writer.

I went from younger than the main cast, to their age, to older than them. Now I’m closer in age to Remus and Sirius. And, not entirely unlike them, I’ve had this dear part of my growing up cut off and the associations with it tainted by a betrayal from someone I respected and trusted.

That may sound overdramatic, and yeah yeah “it’s just a book,” but the sense of betrayal and loss is real.

There’s a line that I wrote in a fic a while back, where Remus is talking about finding a happy memory to cast a patronus, and the fact that all the memories he has for that are painful now, they’re bittersweet at best, because of the loss and betrayal that have come since. But regardless of all of that, they will always have been happy moments when he lived them, and that’s what he has to remember.

That’s kinda how I feel about the Harry Potter fandom now. It will always have been what it was to me, and no one can take that away.

[closedshop]

we don't talk much but i really love it when i see u on my dash ^_^ the way u speak is so light and whimsical and airy idk its so pleasant to read and i think smtimes i wanna embody that too. i'm not super into enstars anymore but i like reading your analyses and stuff theyre super interesting!!!

Ah, thank you〜! We probably don’t talk much because of my shyness as much as it is a dual effort but to exist under the same sky is so nice. Funnily enough, I have had so, so, so many people comment on the way I speak and the weird stuff I say (my boyfriend & Noelle have said I just “say things” sometimes & the church seems to think my thought processes in general are unreasonable LOL but I think it’s in a cute way at least. I hope?) on various separate occasions and the way it’s worded always fascinates me since it’s always a little bit different. I don’t mind & kind of even like it, I’m used to being observed and commented on.

I once made a tweet about it stating “My friends & lover tend to be witnesses to my, quote, shakespearean demeanour｡｡｡my form of speech has been commented on by others, referred to as "whimsical", even. My boyfriend frequently likes to point out how weird I am too, lovingly I presume.” I have screenshots of a few instances saved though there have been very many. Why? It simply amuses me! Being perceived appears to have it’s perks.

But, enough of that! I am so touched you’d say that I’m pleasant to read｡｡｡I’m someone who thinks a little too deeply about everything in the world, not just the things he likes, but I am prone to being pretentious in that regard (and very much proud, I shall say! Despite my occasional, negative form of self consciousness at the fact.) I’ve been forcing my mutuals to learn about the things I like this way for years like second-hand smoke and since ansta is my big interest now that I’m older even more so hahaha ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡ I think I’ve never shut up in the past four years about anything, though, especially as I learn to become less unashamed about the things I love. It’s okay if you don’t ansuta as hard as I do anymore, after all, our feelings for things can be so fleeting, I’m happy to have your company as is.

I don’t like to call them analysis directly, typically, because I don’t like to seem too full of myself or try-hard or fake-deep, but when other people do so it makes me happy in a way, to know my observations are appreciated and seen as interesting and even novel at times (I get so excited or otherwise feel a lot when others point out things I haven’t noticed, so to think I can make others feel the same—!), or at least just nice to read about in the way I put them. I’ve had cases where I have a belief but someone is able to put it into words so well and even add to it and it’s like… wow… kyah. But anyway, it used to be an insecurity, as someone who fears coming off like this:

Speaking of, I’ve kept them mostly to twitter nowadays whether in small or big doses (partly due to my compulsions that kept me away from blogging for a bit, that was a really sad time 🥲) since the exposure of my mind to the masses has become addictive to me, but I’m so happy you’re here and still enjoy them. I’ve even had crazy long letter exchanges in the form of long screenshots of thoughts back and forth with likeminded people and it’s like, omg. It’s probably not healthy to be that hooked so I’ve been trying to reel myself back into the tumblr sphere where it is more for my own sake than anything, but it’s so fun to engage in discussions about anything ever, really!

My friends tell me things like saying I’m well spoken and other nice things I have forgotten yet definitely internalized and it brings a kind of euphoria I can’t explain because it’s something I can’t Help I love that everything in the world means so much to me and I love art and everything in the universe basically except for the things I hate and that hurt me badly and sometimes the things I truly love wound me and that’s fine too. I try my best to convey my feelings because honestly, I don’t necessarily even think in words. It’s more vague abstract feelings and concepts that I have to try to string together 🥹 so to do so successfully makes me happy. SORRY FOR RAMBLING ON SO MUCH ABOUT, well, myself! I don’t mean to be self-absorbed, but aren’t we all living inside our heads? That’s where our brain is.

I think the most important part is to be yourself unapologetically｡｡｡being light and whimsical to mee is fun and comes naturally ♪ sometimes I wish I was just like the sun, and hope I won’t burn anyone. I don’t play these things up or anything. It’s an earnest portrayal, despite the more grotesque aspects I keep hidden. Anyone can embody what they would like to and become their best/most preferred self, if they try, I’m sure! Though it is hard to be so malleable. I want to be truer to myself and better every day｡｡｡there’s also the aspect of, as my best friend Kris said, a few minutes ago, the way the self wills itself to be. I’ve worked hard to shape myself and be comfortable with it, and I’m happy to be loved for it. Thank you to anyone who read.

[anagramtransitory]

6. It’s having so much to prove that’s gotten me here. I’ve got to act confident and be confident, it’s got to be part of an idea. I’ve got to think about functioning the way I think about living in all other ways- with the faith I have in those arenas, about my ability to do normal things in a way that says “let me show you about the good that exists in the world and cares about you personally because you’re worth it/deserve it, if not because I like you, in which case, let me show you how I’ll give you everything I’ve ever got forever for free with nothing except kindness asked in return, if that”. And I’ve got to do it alone in the house with myself, all my life. I behave that way around people with the faith someone will notice, will be heartwarmed in a genuine way, will believe me about that being who I actually am with no tricks attached. At home, I’m gonna have to pretend like the universe is watching, that the universe and all its inhabitants are one, or something like that. I’m going to have to wrangle myself into a belief held with some kind of forced genuineness that the universe will see me functioning and think to itself “now that’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen, impressive and worth rewarding at some point in this person’s life”. When of course it doesn’t and won’t. When nobody cares about the struggle and only want to clap for images of beauty and understood things that fit their unquestioned ready-held templates for both. Maybe it’s one of those things where I have to tell people what you believe and can’t wait or coax them into eventual belief. To do the idea-version of going to their house, ringing their doorbell, and presenting them with a complete science fair fold out poster presentation board explaining simple obvious things one tiny tiny piece at a time, as small of pieces as I can get things into, and make them not only look right and science-article-backed, but feel right, according to what kinds of things tend to feel right to whoever they are I’m on the front porch of the house/apartment of. To do this without being asked or invited and even after being gently warned off. I think. To show them: look, my “putting it into practice” needs practice in terms of not looking rough-draft-like or cheap or easy, but my method is solid, my underlying ideas are absolutely there, they’re all there. I’m gonna have to have “look, your way sucks, my way is better” type of confidence. The way I have in other arenas of my life. My way is the anti-waste, nerdiness-loving, proud (or at least unashamed, and unstoppable in being one even if I was ashamed) intellectual (academic, primary resources hoarder, passionate idea-hoarder, idea memorizer, idea stress-tester (stress-tested out of respect for their creators and not disrespect towards them), idea lover), value in the free or almost free, gold from the worst plant-root-resistant, mineral-less, dry, powdery, unsaveable waste dirt you find anywhere at all, or in the badlands of South Dakota, or in the dirt bike track meet sites, or on cursed land. That is, material anywhere, being worth gold. In the right hands. My way is the built to last and built to not harm the planet way. The non-brand-name, dumpster diving, Craigslist free section plus an old pickup truck equaling almost everything I need, gardening food and tea and medicine and herbs in small apartments, way. DIY, shopped locally, real-artist-bought art directly from the artists, wearing shoes and clothes until I can’t anymore, way. Why is that the best way? I just know it is, I lack the confidence I need to live as a functional adult that way though. That way looks so dysfunctional and holier-than-thou and “for show”, even. Or compensating for emotional problems with do-gooder-living. Or like I’m a weak person, in body and spirit, generic in my weakness and limpness. This is a consumerist shallow setting I will always live inside of, period, and I must work with it to communicate with it. I have to trust that people will see past the ethos and differences in living styles and see me instead. To see…

[dailyaudiobiblechronological]

12/19/2023 DAB Chronological Transcription part 3

Announcements

Daily Audio Bible That's home base and check it out if you have not. take a look around. check out the website and download the free app. If you would like to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, we thank you so much for each and every partnership that furthers the work of this Mission. if you're giving by mail DAB PO Box 1996, Spring Hill TN, 37174. Utilizing the app, up at the top right hand corner of your device. and lastly look for the give icon on the website. you can still be a part of the Christmas vinyl initiative that advances the technology as we improve what we already have so that it is as simple and user friendly for every person using that app. $25 per album there are five to choose from and you can order any increment that you would like and you can do so while supplies last. If you need prayer, if you'd like to pray for someone that's previously called in, there are several different ways for you to do so 800-583-2164. or utilizing that mobile device again hit the red circle button up at the top right hand corner of your mobile device. That's going to do it for me today, I'm Jill, we’ll turn the page together tomorrow as we wind our way forward into this week of Christmas Advent arrival and waiting anticipation of the hope of all hopes Emmanuel, God With Us, Jesus. I'm Jill, until tomorrow, love one another. 

Community Prayer Line

Hi everyone it's Christy in Kentucky I wanted to pray for some of our Brothers and Sisters in Christ. father we love you we praise you and Lord we are lifting up a long list of Brothers and Sisters in Christ, that dawn has brought to us Lord that either have just started their journey and have accepted you as Lord and Savior or there's been seeds planted, Lord we pray that people will come behind them Father, water the seeds that have been planted. and for those who have not quite made that commitment. Lord Jesus, we pray for them Lord that they will open their hearts to hear the gospel, and to know how much you love them and for them to receive you as Lord and savior. Father, we pray for Emmy Lord and Illinois. Father, we thank you so much and that her baby is okay. Lord thank you for touching and healing this child, and now father we are asking that you touch and heal this marriage. Father, we also pray for unashamed Mom as she has received this diagnosis of cancer. Lord you are our healer father you are our Miracle working God, and so father, in these days as she waits for the results of this biopsy, I pray that you will hold her close father, let her feel your presence Lord Jesus. and we ask that you heal her father completely. restore her back to perfect health we pray. and we love you so much and we thank you Father for having the ability to come and to sit at your feet. We praise you In Jesus name, amen. All right everyone I love you guys Merry Christmas have a beautiful blessed day and I am thrilled with Victoria Soldier again, wherever she's been in her absence you have been there with her and well we've missed her. Lord, you have been there to keep her company and get her through whatever life has had going on. Lord, I also thank you for our newest member spoken in the vine in Indiana. Lord let us scooch over around this campfire and make room for him. Will show yourself true to him and that his desire will always be for you and to have it become where it just is all of you that he's not just more but all of you that you desires. and Lord I Thank you for this platform I think you for the relationships that it has forged and created and friendships and families and I thank you for the following of Brian and Jill and China and Zeke and the rest of the group. I've seen behind the scenes family and Lily just ask is we go forward and they bring us this beta version that you be in it Lord. that you work all things out so that it is a smooth transition. and Lord we just look forward to and even better can't fire experience Lord. I Thank you. I praise you as you are with each and every person as we go through this crazy insane weeks it's coming. help us stay focused on you. 

hey my precious DABC fam, this is Kingdom seeker Daniel. lady Jill I am taking my work cap off as I speak in salute to you as I'm sitting here waiting for this truck to vacate this dock, so I can move my truck in. I just finished listening to you pray on the 18th and my goodness thank you for just letting the Holy Spirit lead you even in the words that you prayed about not forgetting the darkness that God has rescued us from. and as I'm just sitting here pondering that thought oh my goodness I'm so grateful. Hallelujah bless your Holy Name Jesus. I'm so grateful for the darkness that he rescued me from, oh my Lord, and so I just wanted to offer a word of encouragement to the mom who didn't leave a name but a little while back you called in about moving away to Colorado and feeling guilty because you're moving away from your son who's battling homosexuality, and let me just first say you don't need to feel guilty for moving where God is leading you but finally, please know your father is at work and your son's life and heart despite of what it looks like. I'm a living witness. He can rescue him, you be encouraged mom. 

[juice-vesicle]

Implication only dawned me after I typed this out. I think it’s good to be a sliver pathetic, though. (Better pathos than apathos? I don’t mean in an obsequious sense. Everyone is pathetic. But to embrace this facet of self. Maybe we’re moving toward the late 16th century definition.) The world sings to you this way. You won’t find anybody closer to the earth than a worm.

It’s vast and nutritious down here. I’m hermaphroditic. There’s buddies. I’m not afraid of the asphalt or whatever made it. I am complex enough to love the rain on my skin, and I can’t drown. Some people like me very much. What more could you want?

You may get impaled. Fish may suck on you. You will be draped over the top of a stick and swung through the air. But you will also be in a compost, feasting, and someone will be listening for your popping with a smile on their face (which would be beautiful if you knew what a face or a smile was—but they understand your joy through your sound, and you understand their joy through their rich alimentary offerings). What I mean is, I believe that thinning your pride is essential to thinning the barrier between yourself and the world, to unify with an ecosystem, to stop feeling like a stranger in your own skin. You need to bring the feeling with you of standing in the forest and looking up at trees older than yourself. That awe, profound enough to stop walking and speak to the world around you. This is a message to myself. But the word for world is…

Whether to be proudly pathetic, or to erase the notion from your mind, both ask that you unashame of the space you take up. I’m not being serious about being pathetic, but about being serious about being pathetic. I think actually being pathetic prerequisites a sort of desperate shame about your own existence (which is the same as embarrassment and fear of social judgement or failure. Most people have it, some just handle it more elegantly). But I think many of us are ashamed of shame itself, pathetithetic if you will, and I don’t know how else you’d learn than by just going for it. Fear of being pathetic is the same as being pathetic because you are pre-bending the knee to some invisible superior force, the weight of the fictional judgement of all of humanity maybe. I guess it’s about looking for what you think will make your life your own.

En passant: If you’ve never learned the mechanics of worm mating and then seen the act in situ I recommend looking into it. They’re among the most romantic animals

Mammals can only with their intricate minds dream to be free Of their obstructive bones And awarded a mucosal epidermis. Hydrophilic surface area capable of complete unifying contact Imagine your entire body as a tongue You’d be eating dirt too And you’d know what it was like to briefly share skin with your lover This is love our gnarled vertebrate bodies can never know

Disco elysium seems to have had an inverse effect on me to what I’m seeing from others; whilst playing the game I did not feel pathetic occupying HDB’s shoes, but post-disco I do think “I’m HDB’in right now” every time I’m doing some pathetic shit

[fishsticksloser]

Random Ghost HC

Warnings: fluff, he's also a military man who has killed people so...

A/N: I haven't played the game since I was 12 and want to get back into it, but I'm a broke bitch so please bear with me this is purely based off what I've seen. If you don't have anything nice to say, go away. If you have some of your own hc, please share I love reading them :) I'm not "making" him a softy, your likes and dislikes don't make you less manly.

Massive softy. He's like one of those super bulky, scary dudes who will do absolutely anything to see their s/o smile... That's just him

Even without the gear on, he's thicc with more C's than I want to put. He's very sturdy, strong (he's carrying at least 50lbs of equipment, but he's probably actually carrying 150lbs), and wide... Look at his shoulders.

Dog dude. Loves the "dangerous" breeds: German Shepherds, Pitbulls, Cane Corsos, ect. Will literally do anything for them.

Is actually younger than everyone thinks... (141 is about 30-40, except Price and Shepard of course, Gaz is at least 22) War and trauma can affect people in many ways.

Can recount how he got all of his scars and is unashamed of them, just nervous if people see them.

Likes to be alone, either reading or listening to music. Sometimes you can catch him bobbing his head to whatever's playing.

He keeps his room really clean, he claims it's because he's a man, but clean room = clear mind.

True emo, loves "old" emo music, but also enjoys alternative, rock, and Metallica (specifically Metallica)

Goes hiking/on a run when he's upset, it helps him clear his head.

He doesn't like yelling, at or from others. He thinks it's not how arguments or anything should be handled. He's yelled at his team on occasion because the messed up or something, but most of the he'll walk away and cool down.

Pretty big on communication. He's not good with staying how he feels, but he tries his best.

Big on showing he cares (acts of service and quality time). Comes home from a mission to his s/I and will wash dishes, cook, laundry, ect while he's home.

Isn't a fan of PDA, but will have his hands on you when you're alone. Almost always touching you; arms around your waist while cooking, spooning in bed, ect

Smacks your ass every chance he gets. It becomes a game, you have to constantly look over your shoulder to make sure your ass isn't unguarded.

I saw someone say that he's a little weird (they used him eating a lemon as an example but lemons are delicious so...) I think he's a fan of something considered childish whether it's Pokemon, Magic, ect. He loves it, but keeps it hidden.

Calls his s/o "darling," "baby," "love" also if you're married and take his last name, "Mr/Mrs. Riley" he loves the sound of it

Gamer. Another way for him to relax, prefers games like Stardew or Animal Crossing. Calming games. Competitive though... Will beat you at Mario Kart

So gentle. Touching you like your some sort of antique vase, except your ass-smaking game. Gentle with everything that has to do with you (sex kissing, dancing)

Don't tell anyone, but he's a huge romantic. Loves those moments where he can dance in the kitchen with you while you wait for dinner, making you a huge dinner dressing up even though your staying home, he always brings home flowers and your favorite snacks/drinks after a mission.

Doesn't like getting drunk. He doesn't like the feeling he gets or how he acts when he's drunk, but he doesn't mind drinking.

Loud noises are a no go, so no concerts. He already deals with loud noises during missions the last thing he wants is more, it stresses him out.

If you call him your husband (whether you're married or not) he's on the floor, he loves it. He also loves being called "babe," "baby," "honey"

[erodasfishtacos]

~ MLB Curious Gazes ~

prompt: four different situations where people have run into or hung out with MLB!H - told from their perspective.

word: 6k +

warnings: language, mentions of sexual content

If you enjoyed this please - reblog, like, recommend, comment, and inbox me to chat about it!

please consider donating to my kofi - my work is FREE and it is a great way to show support!

enjoy!

-=-=-=-=-=-

The Doctor’s Office

Aubrey couldn’t believe her eyes as she sat in her uncomfortable, too small chair in the empty waiting room at the OBGYN office in the early hours of the morning. 

She was sitting alone with her baby boy sitting in his carrier on the floor - it was his nine month checkup and it was taking forever to be seen.

The woman was sitting, scrolling on her phone when out of her peripheral she saw an extremely - like extremely handsome man step into the area with a carrier.

Aubrey was a married woman but holy shit this guy was hot- without even trying is the thing. 

He had on a New York Yankees Nike hoodie and a pair of Nike athletic shorts with some calf length Blake Nike socks and trainers.

In the carrier was a fresh little baby, couldn’t be older than three months who was bundled up with a sunflower headband on.

The man was multitasking with a curly haired toddler on his other hip as he finds a seat a little bit down from Aubrey on the opposite side.

His wife was standing up at the check-in and of course it made sense that she was absolutely beautiful as well even though Aubrey could relate to how tired she looked.

The woman still had a small bit of her pregnancy bump left signifying that the baby was indeed very very new to the world.

She keeps glancing over at the man, he looks so familiar but she would remember if she had even met someone that handsome.

Then the context clues hit her, his hoodie, his toddler son was also in a little Yankees hoodie that matched his fathers and Aubrey googled quickly.

Her eyes flitted throughout the recent articles.

Styles’ Alleged $65 Million Dollar Bonus

Hot Head Harry Styles - how he managed to start three bench clearing brawls in one game!

Breaking Records and Bats - Styles manages to break his own record in the same season followed by breaking a bat in celebration

Holy shit.

She could help but watch them - this was much more interesting than reading a magazine.

Aubrey didn’t follow baseball but Harry had turned celebrity status and was this well known cocky dickhead to the media - women and men loved and drooled over him for his looks and his skills.

Right now, he sat down with his two babies - the boy looked exactly like Harry, it was quite unbelievable from the curly locks to mossy green eyes that was copy and paste.

Harry was currently tucking an applesauce pouch between his lips and guiding the boy's small hands to hold it for himself.

“Good job,  ,” He murmurs in the dead quiet waiting room as he tucks him further into the crook of his arm.

Harry looks up to his wife who joins them, she is a bit in awe when Aubrey sees him palm a bit at her bloated belly and whisper, “Y’look gorgeous today, mama.”

Aubrey couldn’t help but frown, she wished her husband did that.

YN sits down, leaning her head on his shoulder - Aubrey didn’t know her but she seems tired - of course she was a new mother.

The silence is broken when a nurse comes out and with an apologetic face says, “I’m sorry, we are running really behind today. It might be another thirty minutes,” before shutting the door again.

Harry kisses his wife’s forehead before wrapping his unoccupied arm around her shoulder, a flashing gold band on his ring finger.

Aubrey zones off for a little when her son wakes up, rocking the carrier a few times before he settles again.

She’s brought back to the couple when she hears a sniffle comes from Harry’s wife and his face turned towards hers, hand rubbing her shoulder reassuringly.

“Mama, she’s so healthy. There’s nothin’ to worry about, did a perfect job growing her in y’belly. I know these check-ups make you anxious but nothin’ is gonna be wrong,” He soothes, a near whisper because of how quiet the room is and he didn’t want to disrupt.

“I just don’t know if she’s been getting enough milk, it’s so hard to tell,” YN replies sadly, like she’s disappointed in herself.

“Y’kidding me? She’s our chunkiest baby - look at those little rolls. She’s on y’tits more than any of the boys including me,” He jokes softly, obviously trying to make her feel better.

It seems to work a little bit because she lets out a light giggle with a roll of her eyes, “No one is on them more than you.”

Harry shrugs unashamed before replying seriously, “Everything will be okay. She’s perfect and healthy.”

The curly haired little boy gets a bit squirmy with the wait after he finished his pouch, asking to be set down which his father does.

Harry is watching him carefully, his nervous but still adventurous little two and a half year old, as he toddles around the waiting room.

When he spots Aubrey and her carrier, he wanders over looking up her with wide curious eyes, he points at her son and squeaks, “Baby?”

Ever the diligent father, Harry is up and next to his son, Aubrey is a bit starstruck if she’s honest when he talks to her.

“M’sorry, he’s a curious little one,” Harry smiles at her, going to pick Ezra back up to guide him away from bothering her.

Aubrey waves her hand though, lifting the visor to show the sleeping baby, “Yeah, he’s a baby. That’s Dominic.”

The boy gazes at the baby before lisping, “Bry!”

Aubrey isn’t sure what he means but his father clarifies, “You’re right, Dominic is a baby just like your little sister Briar.”

“Okay,” Ezra shrugs and goes back to his mom to inform him of what he just discovered before crawling up and cuddling into her chest.

Harry nods, “Thanks for indulging him.”

“No pro-problem,” She stutters like an idiot and Harry smiles a bit like he knows but doesn’t say anything else before going back to his family.

A few minutes later when a high-pitched cry resounds through the room, Harry is carefully cradling his daughter who Aubrey notes looks nothing like him but like her mother even though her features were still so little.

“Shush, darlin’,” Harry coos with a soft drawl, leaning in to kiss at the newborn’s button nose.

Briar roots at her father’s chest, smacking her plump lips, and squeaking in frustration when she doesn’t find a nipple. It makes Harry chuckle before he glances at his wife and his smile falters a bit, “Sweetheart, did y’bring a bottle?”

Aubrey watches his wife shake her head, she is facing away from her so she can’t see her expression but gauging Harry’s it seems that she may be upset, “No, I completely forgot. I didn’t bring my nursing blanket either - I’m going to have to go the bathroom. M’being such a bad mom.”

The observer feels a pang in her chest, she can definitely relate to not always feeling like she is a good mother because of little mistakes she makes like forgetting diapers, buying the wrong formula, forgetting to bring a pacifier.

“Hey,” Harry’s voice is firm, “Y’not going to talk like that when s’the farthest thing from the truth. S’okay, we have four babies, we’re both goin’ t’forget things sometimes, okay? Here, let me help you.”

Aubrey wishes she had a husband who was as empowering, supportive of his wife.

He hands the whimpering baby over to his wife, he’s then tugging off his hoodie. Aubrey tries but fails to divert her eyes when his shirt rides up revealing  a glimpse of his taut abdomen and a light dusting of hair leading into his shorts, obscene tattoos covering his hipbones .

Harry maneuvers the hoodie over his wife’s shoulder, helping her tug down her loose shirt and nursing bra, and guiding his newborn to his wife’s breast until she latches and starts suckling hungrily.

“There y’go mama,” He whispers encouragingly before tugging Ezra back onto his lap to rock him a bit as he’s getting whiny - ready for a nap soon and not liking being in an unfamiliar place for too long.

-

Aubrey is buckling Dominic into his carseat when she spots the other family exiting the office. 

Harry’s wife looks much more relaxed, a smile on her face, and her arm tucked around her husband’s narrow hip, they’re parked close to each other, and Aubrey climbs into her small sedan - blasting the aircon.

She watches the parents strapp their kids into a massive, tinted and brand new cadillac escalade that was no doubt over a hundred thousand dollar car but who could expect them to be driving around a mid-level minivan?

After the kids are secured and they close the doors, Harry presses his wife up against it with his arm resting over her shoulder against the window. He is whispering to her, their mouths close before he ducks down to connect their lips.

His hand comes back to her deflating baby bump like he did in the doctor’s office, hand massaging the skin with adoration that was visible even to Aubrey as she sat in her car watching them.

Later on in the week, as she sits on her couch, a video pops up on her timeline. It’s a sports report she was about to skip until the name caught her attention. 

The sports reporter stated, “Harry Styles was fined an alleged sixty thousand dollars at last night’s game after getting into a verbal altercation when the second base man purposely tripped him.”

It flashes to the man she just saw in the doctor’s office in a form-fitting Yankee’s blue and white striped uniform with a helmet on as he ran at an impressive speed from first to second, stumbling when the baseman put out his foot.

Harry recovers quickly enough to touch the base to be considered safe. 

After that though, he’s pushing himself up and brushing off the dirt, then he’s charging towards the man who fucked up the play. 

He has no fear as he gets in the man’s face, veins on his neck standing out as he shouts. They don’t play the audio but you could tell Harry was cussing this man up and down.

It flashed back to the reporter speaking to another, “Nearly every team in the league reports that Styles is an absolute nightmare to play against from his skill to his downright arrogant and cocky attitude. He’s not someone I’d find myself wanting to hang around.”

“I agree with you there, Tucker. He has a right to be proud with all of his broken records and achievements but being a bit humble would do this man so good. I feel sorry for his wife and kids. He probably just spends all day bragging about himself.”

Aubrey clicks off the video, if only everyone in the world just saw the Harry Styles she saw just a few days ago - well they’d all change their minds on what kind of person he is. Especially what kind of husband and father.

--

The Charity Event

It was a charity event at Madison Square Garden in Time Square. 

It was for all Major League Baseball teams who had qualified for the playoffs and of course, The New York Yankees were there.

There were tables filling the whole stadium, extravagant in white linen tablecloths, multiple bars, and it was black tie dress code. 

It was a private event and it was not open to the public but after the dinner there would be awards given out and that would be broadcasted.

Nicole was there with her husband, Trent, the left outfielder with an average batting score. He wasn’t the most popular on the team by far - well everyone got outshined by Styles. 

She couldn’t help but be a little bitter that Harry had gotten a $60 million dollar bonus (the biggest bonus ever gifted but also the Yankees were not taking any chances at losing their star and their ultimate money-maker). Trent got a measly bonus of $100,000 which was nothing in baseball terms. 

The wives and girlfriends of the Yankees players did not like YN one bit. It really wasn’t fair because she was always lovely, kind, and friendly. It didn’t matter because they were all spurred on by jealousy of what she had.

Nicole couldn’t help by gaze at Harry as they sat at the same circle table towards the podium where the awards would be presented after dinner. He was in a sharp all black suit with a small team logo pin of the lapel.

She couldn’t deny how stunning YN looked in an absolutely stunning dress. It was a one-shoulder with sparkling black stripes against a tan background, it fit like a glove and accentuated her stunning legs with a high slit. ***

It blew Nicole’s basic black Gucci dress out of the water which made her even more infuriated at the woman. She knew she was being irrational and if she hated her so much, why couldn’t see stop staring at the couple?

Nicole could get away with it by looking past them at other tables but to be quite honest, the two were much too wrapped up in each other to be aware of any of their surroundings or people watching them.

Trent was off bullshitting with all the other players while the Styles’ sat at the table and Harry waited for people to approach him - like the cocky asshole that he was. He would give them a minute of his time before becoming visibly bored and returning his attention back to his wife.

As the appetizers arrived, Trent finally sat down with a grunt, giving his wife literally no attention as he dug into the salad like a slob. 

Across the table, Harry looked down at his plate, picked out all the tomatoes and stabbed them with his fork. He then brought his hand over to his wife who giggled and let him feed her the three little tomatoes for his salad.

“Don’t like tomatoes, Styles?” Henry, third-baseman, jokes as he watches him feed his wife without any shame.

“I love ‘em, m’missus just really like the little grape ones,” Harry shrugs casually - like that didn’t just sound like the most whipped thing that he could say.

Trent probably couldn’t even guess Nicole’s favorite color - let alone know something so minuscule like YN like the little tomatoes that come on house salads. 

Throughout the whole dinner, it was quite disgusting how infatuated these two were with each other - Harry had at least one hand on her body at one time - her thigh, shoulder, even cupping her neck in a way that was almost too intimate for the setting.

At one point, Harry notices that YN is a bit quiet - sipping on her glass of water and he pulls back from the conversation, murmuring, “Y’alright, mama?”

Nicole bites her lip hard at the cute pet name, feeling even more dislike towards YN - why couldn’t she have had someone like Harry?

“D’you think the babies are okay? Ezra’s been so anxious lately,” YN replies quietly, there were no phones allowed at the event and had to be left at home or at the door.

Harry kisses her temple, “Y’know Ezzie is good with m’mum, doesn’t get as anxious as he used to at sleepovers. Y’know East and Cash are probably on a sugar high.”

YN nods, agreeing and Harry jumps right back into the conversation but she notices that he keeps looking over at his wife to check on her.

Trent accidentally knocks her elbow hard and just grunts out a bland, “Sorry.”

The topic changed to traveling for games. Ellie, another wife of a player who was nice to YN were chatting about how stressful it is.

“I know, loading all three boys up is rough when we do decide to travel to games with H,” YN says to Ellie, a small smile on her face.

“Ugh, I know. Lily and Parker are the worst flyers! They usually end up throwing up or not being able to nap at all,” Ellie groans about her two little ones she has back at home.

YN let’s out a laugh that just irked Nicole to not end.

“It's going to be even harder when we have more kids,” YN laments like she’s bothered.

“Oh? More kids?” Ellie squeaks with excitement, clapping her hands together.

Nicole reaches a breaking point, jumping into the chat,“Really? More kids? Don’t you think you should focus on the ones you have? Or do you think because your husband makes an unfair amount of money, you can just have as many as you want? Hire nannies and act like you take care of them?”

Before YN frowns, about to respond when Harry interjects with a booming, displeased voice, “First off, why don’t y’mind your own fuckin’ business. My wife and I can ‘ave any many kids as we want, last time I checked.”

He continues with tense posture, all of his previous calmness disappears, “Second off, don’t take it out on my wife tha’ your husband got a shit bonus, we all know tha’ why y’pissy. And don’t act like y’dont have a nanny for your one kid while we don’t nor ever will have one.”

Nicole sneers, “You’re a cocky bastard.”

Harry smiles in faux charm, “Of course I am, dear. I’ve got a fucking beautiful wife, three healthy babies, the most records broken in history, and the fattest bank account in this room.”

“Alright, alright,” Trent interrupts and it doesn’t go unnoticed that he doesn’t defend his wife. Instead he shoots Harry an apologetic look for his wife’s behaviors.

Harry just scoffs at the couple, rudely rolling his eyes, and tugging his wife in for a kiss that’s a bit too intense but he can’t help himself, smiles against her lips when his wife pinches his thigh playfully.

He says (not quietly at all), “All these women are jealous of you, hm? S’cause you’re so beautiful and such a fuckin’ catch.”

Nicole feel a sharp pang in her chest at the indirect comment - fucking asshole.

Deep down, Nicole is unfavorably realizing that somehow YN has it all - a loving husband, who is seemingly head over heels four her, three well-behaved children, and everything she could ever want - sitting on Harry’s $600 million dollar net worth, on top of being gorgeous.

She didn’t have that. Trent and her were on the rocks constantly, has definitely cheated on her, their kid is a literal nightmare, and they’re both so reckless with money they have no savings.

It made her jealous to see Harry whispering in YN ear to make her giggle- lips brushing her ear, his hand splayed across her bumcheek while they waited for drinks at the bar, she even hears them murmur ‘I love yous’ at least twice.

Then the lights dim, spotlight on a podium in the front of the room, an older man in a crisp navy suit taking the stage.

“It is an honor for me to announce ‘Player of the Year.’ The decision by the board of Major League Baseball wasn’t a hard one. The statistics and records broke continuously by the man has led us to only one option.”

Everyone watches all the other players in room deflate a bit because they realize the award is going to Harry yet again.

 “He is again breaking a record tonight, he is the first player to earn this achievement four years in a row. The duality of this man when it comes to pitching a curveball or hitting a homer is truly remarkable.”

It makes all the players even more irritated than they already are when they look over at Harry who’s sitting back, manspreading, hand on the back of his wife’s neck gently, and a cocky, unbothered grin.

Like this award wasn’t the biggest accomplishment he could earn.

One of the players from an opposing team at a different table mutters to one of his teammates, “Fucking arrogant asshole. The only thing this award does is feed his gigantic ego.” 

“Such a douchebag,” The other agrees, jealousy tinges his voice.

“I’ve most likely made it obvious who the the recipient is this year. The New York Yankees pitcher with the most strikeouts to date and top-scoring hitter - Mr. Harry Styles!”

The crowd erupts in applause, whistles, and a standing ovation because despite his unsavory demeanor - no one could deny he was a legend.

Before he gets up, Nicole watches as he cups his wife’s cheek - locking her lips in a kiss before she has to give him a playful shove when he tries to slip some tongue.

When Harry gets up to the stage, he shakes the hand of the announcer and takes the award from him, setting it on the podium.

“Fourth year in a row has a nice ring to it,” Harry gives the crowd a dazzling white smile that have his dimples digging into his cheek.

The crowd whistles and coos.

Nicole notices YN getting teary-eyed as she watches her husband accept the award.

“I want t’thank a few people tonight. I want t’thank m’wife and the mama of my babies - YN. She’s supported me from when I was in college with no other career path but baseball, unsure of if I’d fail or not, she stuck through it.”

She can sense everyone’s eyes dart over to YN who is still staring up at her husband - who is giving her a gleaming smile right back.

“We’ve been through some really hard obstacles in our first years as a couple but she’s the reason for all this - the fact that she always believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself.”

The audience is respectful, quiet as he publicly tells a story of his deep love for his wife.

“I want t’thank m’three babies. Easton, Cash, and Ezra. They inspire me to be a better better man and a good role model - even though I think y’all agree they won’t be if they watch too much how I play when I’m out in the field.”

The crowd erupts in laughter at Harry poking fun at his own antics that he’s most famous for. He goes on to thank the team, coaches, Nike, everyone on the professional side of career.

When he’s done, everyone stands back up to congratulate him, patting him on the back as he returns to his seat.

Nicole watches as Harry sits back down, chuckling as he swipes a tear off his wife’s cheek, “Why y’crying, mama?”  

“I’m just so proud of you. Everything you do for me and our babies. The best husband, best daddy. My heart is just full,” She murmurs, clearly not meant for others to hear but Nicole was eavesdropping.

Harry’s eyes darken with something Nicole can’t identify but does notice his hand creeping a bit further up her thigh.

He leans into whisper something into her ear before she sees his lightly nip at her lobe before pulling back to join into the conversation.

-

After the lights come back up, Trent abandons her to go shoot the shit with other guys.

When she trails off to the bathroom, down a long hallway from the main area - she hears a rustling from behind a door labeled with a plaque that says ‘executive meeting room’.

Nicole pauses confused, all these offices and other rooms were strictly off limits during events obviously. She was confused to hear someone in a room that was not supposed to be in use.

Then she realizes it’s not just someone - it’s two people.

“S’good, sweetheart. Give it t’me so good.”

And she knows right then and there all she needs to know about who’s in that conference room and what they were doing.

“Be quiet, you’re being too loud,” YN scolds back, the walls were clearly thin because she could hear the exchange.

“Make y’cunt not feel like heaven then,” He remarks back, his voice slower and more soft than it would be in front of people.

God, Trent and her haven’t slept together in ages - let alone has spontaneous hookups or dirty talk like that ever.

When they all end up back at the table before the closing speech for the night, Nicole spots a nicely sized mark under Harry’s jaw that he’s wearing with pride.

YN had her lipstick wiped off and was much more clingy as the night rolled on which Harry seemed to thrive on.

As she and Trent are on their way home, Nicole speaks into their silence, “I don’t think our relationship is working.”

Not after she saw love and happiness at that event table tonight - she wanted that kind of love not settling for some cheating asshole.

-

The Little League Game

It was a cool autumn evening, it was an important game - if you could call it that for the little league team that Kayla had her son on.

The goal was to determine which team would move onto the playoffs, even though most of this was all in good fun because it was for eight-year-olds and it wasn’t serious.

Kayla couldn’t lie and say that she didn’t spend some of the time curiously gazing at the New York Yankees player who would come to watch his son play.

He wasn’t at every game due to his schedule but it seemed like he came to whatever ones he could with his wife and other three kids.

They had taken the bench on the bleachers right below her so she had an up close and personal view of the family when they’ve never sat this close before.

As the kids warmed up, Harry had his youngest son who looked to be about four sit next to him, squished between his dad and mom happily.

Their middle son was next to his mom on the other side, looking to be about six, and he was wriggling impatiently in his seat - eager to join the other kids in the jungle gym.

The baby girl who looked about a year and a half old didn’t look anything like her brothers - it was obvious that she was a spitting image of her mother (who was stunning).

She was curled up in her mom’s lap, asleep with her face squished against her mother’s chest - a pacifier suckling fiercely between her puffy lips.

“Mama, please,” The curly haired boy begs with greedy puppy dog eyes as he keeps glancing back to look at the other kids.

“You stay right where daddy and I can see you, yes?” YN murmurs, brushing back his unruly curls that where getting long, “And what are our rules?”

“Stay where you can see, don’t talk to strangers, and be nice to others,” He recites perfectly, Kayla was a bit blown away by his manners.

She watches baseball. It was hard to believe their children were so mild mannered when their father was the exact opposite - at least on the field.

Harry was rustling in the diaper bag for something as his son looked at him with wide, concerned eyes, “My baby, daddy.”

“I know, Ezzie. M’lookin’ f’your baby,” His father replies softly, the polar extreme of his normal brash, crude language that had a nasty tone like he couldn’t bother giving people the time of day.

“Daddy, please,” The youngest whines, his little hand grasping at his father’s tattooed wrist as he gets to his knees to help his dad look.

“Left inner pocket,” YN murmurs offhandedly as she makes sure Cash gets to the playground safely with his friends.

“Say ‘thanks mama’,” Harry coos to his son as he manages to tug out the baby doll and hand it to the awaiting little boy.

“Thanks mama,” He replies instantly with a gapped smile as he nuzzles right back into his father’s side as if he can’t get close enough.

“How are you feeling, Ezra?” His mother leans over to ask, keeping the baby close to her chest.

“M’happy, mama,” Ezra replies simply before starting to babble to himself as he plays with the babydoll.

Kayla watches Harry and YN swap a fond look at their son but she couldn’t help but wonder why they asked him that? He seemed fine so why did they feel the need to do that?

The game is going okay, Harry stands up to cheer and whistle when Easton hits a two-base hit but YN smacks his thigh and motions to their sleeping baby.

He looks at her sheepishly before sitting back down, kissing her cheek in apology, and peeking down into the fleece blanket to watch his daughter sleep for a moment.

Then it seems like Easton starts to lose momentum after he pitches two home-runs, his face pinched in disappointment as the other team scores but Harry is attempting to keep him motivated with encouraging shouts.

Easton struggles from then on, he strikes out for his final three turns, doesn’t catch two pop-ups, and his pitches start to get a little shaky. It’s obvious in his facial expression he’s getting upset because he’s breathing heavier like he’s trying not to cry.

Kayla feels a sense of dread for the little boy, his father who’s the best baseball player in modern day history is watching his son not do well during an important game.

 Because of what she knows of him from his temper and attitude on the field - she worries that he’s one of those father’s who will hound their kid for doing poorly.

“Oh, c’mon East,” Harry murmurs softly when his son stumbles over a ground ball before another kid picks it up and throws it in - their son smacking his glove down against the ground in frustration.

“He’s getting himself worked up,” YN notes as she watches her oldest kick his cleats in the dirt with a quivering bottom lip.

“I know,” Harry replies to his wife, “Wish he wouldn’t, he’s gettin’ upset out there, I can tell.”

“Sad?” Ezra squeaks, clambering onto his father’s lap and stating, “Hold me, daddy.”

Harry obliges easily, gathering up his small son before his attention is directed back onto the game - it was down to the last few minutes and unfortunately Easton pitched a ball that resulted in a home run for the other team.

“Fuck,” Harry mutters, running a hand through his messy locks before he’s setting Ezra back down on the bleachers, “I’m going to go talk to him. Do you want to meet back home?”

YN nods, leaning down to tuck the baby into the double stroller before buckling Ezra in as well, “I’m going to go get Cash and head out. Why don’t you take him out for some ice cream? I love you.”

“I love you too, mama,” He replies, kissing her softly before kissing both of his kids foreheads and stepping down the bleachers - ignoring all the adults who are staring at him with a starstruck expression as he heads to the dugout.

It cleared out fast, nobody sticking around after the loss that ended with them not continuing on to the championship, and Easton was sat on the bench - he was stoic and there was a hard, angry expression on his face that reminded Kayla of what she saw Harry look like when he played.

As she gathers up her son and makes sure he’s got all of his equipment, Kayla stands and chats to a few of the moms before she’s heading to her car - which happened to be parked next to a sleek Masserati crossover, who would let their muddy kid go in there? Rich people, she guesses.***

Kayla pops the trunk to her van with her key as they get closer, she notices that Harry also has his up and Easton is sitting on the tailgate with his eyes looking down at the pavement. She tries not to appear as nosey or eavesdropping as she tucks her items into the back.

“Sweetheart, s’okay. Y’did so so good tonight,” Harry assures his pouty son, he squats down to start to untie his son’s nike cleats but continues to make eye contact with him. 

“No, I didn’t, Daddy!” Easton whines, tears finally starting to bubble over the surface as he begins to sob with a shuddering chest, “I gave up home runs and then I missed ground balls!”

“Whoa, bubby,” Harry simpers after he tugs off the shoes and throws them carelessly into the back before standing up, “Y’did amazing, are you kiddin’? You did three innings of strikeouts, hit two of y’own homeruns. Y’played like a professional, way better than daddy.”

Kayla’s heart aches a bit when she sees Harry sit down next to him before hugging him harshly into his side, thumbing at the tears that are running down his son’s sweaty cheeks with soft reassurances.

“Daddy, are you mad I didn’t win?” Easton asks shakily, keeping his head buried into his father’s side and his small hand clutching into the fabric of his hoodie.

Harry chuckles lowly, “Daddy would never be mad at you f’anythin’, definitely not a baseball game. Remember what mama and I said? If at any point y’want to stop playin’, just let us know and we can find something else, yeah? Just like how Ezzie does art classes.”

Easton seems to calm down after a few moments of Harry rocking him and reassuring him of what an amazing son he is.

As Kayla drove away that night, her perspective on the all-star baseball player definitely changed. It was refreshing to see someone to not hold their child to an unreasonable expectation just like she thought Harry would.

--

The Campfire

Austin was the shortstop on the baseball team, he’d brought along his girlfriend, Chelsea, to the frat party to celebrate another win.

Everyone was in whispers that Harry was bringing his new girlfriend but nobody knew who she actually was because it was just a rumor.

It was surprising because Harry wasn’t a relationship kind-of man. He wasn’t into hookups much - always said he needed to focus on baseball.

Many of his teammates were envious of how many girls were constantly coming up to Harry at parties to flirt and try to get a dance in but he had always rejected them.

Harry had never showed interest in any of these girls at the parties, never seen him disappear upstairs with one or really entertain a conversation over a beer like they’d expect.

Chelsea pokes his shoulder and nods towards the entrance when Harry walks in with his arm around YN’s shoulder.

Most were in a little shock because they seemed like such an unlikely couple - YN had written some scathing articles about him and it was no secret he hadn’t been a fan of her.

“Holy shit, Harry’s dating YN?” Chelsea whispers to Austin as the group of party-goers cheer and whistle at the allstars appearance.

“Guess so,” Austin replies with a shrug, tugging Chelsea into the kitchen for a drink.

Later on that night, there’s a bonfire on one side of the backyard and a volleyball net on the other where a group was gathering to play.

Austin and Chelsea are on the opposing team of Harry and YN - she can’t help but watch them with curiosity because of what a surprise it is that they’re dating.

Even Austin has been watching because Harry’s acting in a way that he’s never seen throughout his time on the team with him.

Harry is just all over YN which was confusing how he went from not being remotely interested in the college girls to being a lovestruck puppy.

When she throws the ball up to serve, Harry reaches over and pinches her bum which makes her squeak and accidentally drop the ball which has him cackling as she glares at him.

As they change positions, he crowds up behind her, and massages her hips, leaning down to murmuring something in her ear.

She blushes wildly before smacking him off which has him laughing hard and kissing the back of her head before taking his position.

After Harry jumps and spikes the ball hard, earning them the winning point, YN turns around and wraps her arms around him to hug him tightly.

Harry wraps his arms around her shoulders, returning the hug before pulling back to kiss her lips in a soft peck.

Chelsea elbows Austin, “Who’s that and what did they do with Harry?”

Austin shakes his head, “I really don’t fucking know.”

The group migrates over to the fire as they might become cooler and the stars are high up in the sky, the fire flickering orange and yellow crackles of sparks.

Harry plops into a chair, pulling YN right onto his lap, and she wriggles until she’s comfortable. Chelsea notices him tap her thigh as if telling her to cut it out, too much motion right on his crotch.

Jake, one of his teammates, says in a teasing tone, “YN, I’m surprised to see you around these parts . I clearly remember a strongly worded article about how stupid frat parties are.”

YN takes it in stride, smiling as she replies, “And this party just proves my point.”

The group laughs easily, they enjoy YN’s sharp wit and comebacks as they get to know her. Austin can’t help but to notice how quiet Harry is.

Normally, he’s the life of the party, loud and making his presence known to everyone but not tonight. He has his chin propped on her shoulder and she’s cuddled back into his chest.

Austin can’t make out what Harry is saying but he’s constantly whispering in her ear and accentuating each time with a squeeze to her thighs.

“Are you guys official?” One of the teammates asked bluntly, a few beers deep by this point in the night.

Harry replies instantly, a possessive squeeze, “She’s mine and off the market, s’don’t even think about it.”

“Well I don’t think it matters because she’s turned down the whole baseball team by this point. I think everyone tried to ask her out at least once,” Steve jokes as the others agree.

“Tha’s m’girl,” Harry murmurs to her before teasing his friends,“Who’d want to go out with any you? You’re all dickheads.”

Everyone continues to joke around, it’s nearing midnight and that’s right about when Harry gets in his prime - like the party just started.

But not tonight.

YN’s eyes start to flutter shut as everyone banters and drinks around the fire, obviously not used to these late night parties.

“I better get this one t’bed,” Harry states after a few minutes, thumbing at YN’s cheekbone as she tries to stay awake.

“I’m okay,” She mumbles weakly, head still heavy against his shoulder.

“You’re coming back though, right?” Kyle asks expectantly, brows furrowed.

Harry shakes his head, “Nah, m’in for the night when she is.”

All the players look at him with a bit of a dumbfounded look, Steve shooting out, “Who knew you’d be so pussy whipped, Styles?”

Chelsea’s eyebrows raise at the crude comment, waiting with bated breath as Harry’s jaw clenches as it seems like he’s biting his tongue.

“Goodnight,” Harry says in a tone Austin has never heard before - agitated and almost…offended.

When Austin and Chelsea are sneaking up to his room for a late night hook-up, she overhears Harry and YN in his bedroom.

At first, she thinks they’re in an actual argument but as she listens to them - it’s not the kind of arguement she thought it was.

“You’re always the little spoon,” YN groans from behind the closed door.

Harry squawks, affronted before huffing back at her, “S’my favorite, please spoon me, darling?”

“You’re so fucking spoiled,” YN giggles as Chelsea assumes they move into a position where Harry’s the little spoon.

“Mm, I like feelin’ y’tits against my back, s’nice,” Harry hums with a boyish tone.

Chelsea doesn’t even realize she’s smiling until Austin drags her from her stupor. 

All she knew was that Harry Styles really really fancied that school reporter.

-=-=-=-=-=-

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[becca-e-barnes]

OMG Becca! That anon just gave me the filthiest thot!!How about dbf! Bucky coming home early after a shitty Valentine’s Day date only to notice Reader’s bedroom light on in the house opposite his… he knows your parents are away for the night and decides to go check on the house… what he doesn’t expect to find is Reader in bed coming all over her rabbit vibrator … 🤯🖤 - do you think he would watch in silence, or use Reader’s entire toy box on her before railing her himself ?! 🤣

Oh now this is a beautiful thought, particularly since my valentines plans are exactly this, only I have no beautiful dbf!bucky watching

And I just wanna wish you all a really happy Valentine's Day! Whether you have plans or not, whether you're loved up or on a journey of self love, I hope you have a fab day!! And for anyone who doesn't have a boo and feels a lil left out, you're my Valentine now, sorry not sorry 😘💐

Bc imagine him maybe just seeing your bedroom light on and assuming you're getting dressed up to go out with someone special. His date was awful so he came home early but there'd be no harm in heading over to make sure you didn't need him to drive you anywhere or pick you up later, especially when you have no parents at home.

So he lets himself in with the house key he's got, closing the door behind him. He scrolls through his phone absentmindedly as he climbs up the stairs, not really paying much attention to what he's doing. He doesn't even think to announce his presence but then he hears a faint humming sound and a little broken sob.

He's not even entirely sure what to think but it makes him a little more wary, rounding the top of the stairs and finding your bedroom door slightly open.

And his breath catches in his throat because God, there you are, totally naked, working a rampant rabbit into your dripping pussy. Your free hand alternates between grasping your hair and tugging at your own nipples and he can't help it but he's absolutely mesmerised.

His mouth waters at the sight of your pussy clinging to the toy, the slickest sloshing noises filling the room and his mouth is watering just at the thought of how you must feel.

You're a fucking beautiful woman, there's no doubt about that but he's never truly thought of it until now. Your body is all soft curves and gentle slopes and maybe it's just been too long since he'd seen a pretty woman naked but he's waxing poetic about how perfect you are.

And God, your body is one thing but your moans are entirely another. They're soft yet still throaty, the sound of pure, unashamed lust. You're holding nothing back, teasing your own body the way you know you enjoy. The way no one else has ever taken the time to learn.

He watches as you angle the toy slightly differently, tilting the handle downwards to press the shaft up, making sure the tip nudges your sweet spot just right. The sob that leaves your lips is heavenly but so is the way that your thighs tremble, pleasure numbing your brain and clouding your senses as you writhe on your bed.

Fuck, he's hard. He's so painfully hard. He knows he should go home, just slip back out the front door without embarrassing you and spend Valentine's the way he usually does, rubbing one out and then watching shitty movies until he falls asleep.

Part of him can't do that this year. Not now. Not after forgetting all about that shitty date. Not with the knowledge you'd be in your bed all night, pleasuring yourself in this empty house when he knows he could do such a better job.

"Gotta say, sweets. That's quite the show." He smirks, expecting you to be all flustered. He's waiting for you to start scrambling, desperately trying to cover yourself but you don't bother.

"Wondered if you were just gonna watch all night. F-fuck, thought I'd have to turn this thing up a speed to tempt you out." You groan, your voice shaky but painfully seductive, your hips grinding down to take the toy as deep as it can go.

You see the confused look on his face and it only makes you laugh. "Camera system, Buck." You grin, knowing that you outsmarted him and that's when he twigs that your home safety unit would've alerted you to a car pulling up in the driveway. His car. You kept going so he'd catch you.

"Is that the only toy you have, sweetheart? Somethin' tells me you're not as sweet and innocent as you seem." His eyes are trained on where your folds are parted, letting the toy slip into your slick heat. He swears each time you pull it out, it's even wetter and creamier than the time before and it makes him swallow thickly.

"O-oh God." You whimper, arching your back off the bed, barrelling closer to your first orgasm and you just can't stop yourself. "Let's make a deal." You gasp. "I'll show you my collection. S-so long as you can make me feel better than every damn toy in that box."

He watches you for a moment, admiring the thin sheen on sweat on your chest, your curled toes and trembling thighs and your hips that are grinding against that pathetic piece of plastic.

"Oh sweetheart, you won't have to worry about that. I'm going to ruin you for anything and anyone else. Every time you slip that stupid thing into you after tonight, you're going to wish it was me splitting you open instead." He's got a lust in his eyes that makes you slightly nervous because he looks like once he gets a taste, he might not be able to stop and in that moment, you don't care. You want him to take you apart in the most intimate ways and give you a kind of mind numbing pleasure you'll never be able to recreate on your own.