#how she puts extra care into her skin routine for the exact same reason^

[rosemaze-reveries]

there is this fellow/fem!yuu fic i read on pixiv & its so intimate & sweet & ruined me ..... i need to pass it to u now (its been hanging over me for WEEKS)

[svnflowervol666]

h driving around his lovie in the yellow vintage ferrari because lovie loves the humming engine of the car ☺️🐻

Word Count: 2.1k

Harry was at his wit’s end. He was certain that he would be able to take care of his own child for three days whilst his wife enjoyed a weekend away with her closest friends at the beach. Like, absolutely positive. He’d gotten the whole dad thing down pat. All he lacked was the ability to produce breast milk, which Y/N had gladly pumped extra of and stored in the refrigerator before she left. Harry knew exactly when they ate, exactly how much to give them and how long he needed to burp them for so that their tummies wouldn’t be upset later on in the day. Absolutely nothing had been different about the baby’s routine besides the fact that their mother was not here. There was nothing she possessed that was not accessible to the baby while she was gone, yet, for some reason, everything was going wrong.

The baby had quite literally been screaming all day. Harry had unnecessarily changed their diaper about 800 times just in case the material was irritating their skin and he had tried just about everything in the book to soothe them. A cold wash rag for them to chew on in case they were uncomfortable due to incoming teeth, a warm bath in the kitchen sink case they were cold, a million different pacifiers that they only repeatedly spit out. The most peace Harry could get was about an hour when they exhausted their tiny body from wailing and dozed off for a bit, but as soon as they came to, the waterworks started again and Harry was back to nearly pulling his hair out. 

It broke his heart seeing his baby so upset. He was at the point where he felt like a failure of a father. It hadn’t even been a full day since Y/N had left and it felt like everything was falling apart without her. They didn’t have a dirty diaper, didn’t have a fever, didn’t have an empty belly, yet they refused to stop wailing at the top of their lungs like Harry was hurting them just by being around them. He was almost ready to throw in the towel and call Y/N to beg her to come home early until he remembered he had one more lifeline before ruining Y/N’s weekend trip.

//

“Do wha’?” Harry mumbled tiredly yet dumbfoundedly into the sleek, black cell phone he held to his ear.

It was nearly two in the morning. He wasn’t expecting her to pick up the phone, but he sure was glad that she did. He’d hoped she could give him some advice, to tell him what to do or even offer to come over and help. But this was the last thing he’d ever expected his mother to say.

“I’m serious, love. You loved it too when you were being a fussy baby. Something about the sounds of the engine. Put ya right to sleep every time.”

“Tha’s ridiculous. It’s two in the morning.”

“You asked, Har. Just try it. Drive around the block and see if it calms them down a bit. Call me back if that doesn’t work and I guess I can come ‘round.”

Harry was never sure how she always managed to sound so calm. Maybe it was the fact that she’d raised him and his sister at the same time, so anything after that was a piece of cake. Even the sound of her voice was comforting to him and enough to ease some of his nerves. But maybe that was just because she was his mother. 

“Alright. I’ll let ye’ know how it turns out. Thanks f’ pickin’ up so late.”

“Love you, Harry.”

“Love ya too, mum.”

Harry ended the call and tossed his cell onto the unmade bed he shared with Y/N. It looked awfully empty without Y/N in it and part of him wondered if part of the reason why he’d contemplated calling her to come home early was that he missed her warm presence in the house and everything felt cold and wrong without her. He wonders if this is how she feels when he leaves for tour, but doesn’t have much time to dwell on it due to the piercing cries coming from the nursery where the baby had been lying down in an attempt to sleep.

“I hear ye’, I hear ye’,” Harry groaned as his feet padded over the soft carpet to the crib where the baby was. 

“It’s gonna be alright, bubby. Promise ye’.”

He carefully lifted their strained body up from the mattress pad and began patting them on the bum, as if that would soothe them in the slightest at this point. Maybe it wasn’t for the baby but more so Harry. Their tiny little toes were curled in on themselves as they pawed at their face and continued to cry. Harry used to think their cries were cute, he really did. But now, each little huff and puff that left their chest put Harry closer and closer to the edge and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take.

After placing them snuggly in their carrier, Harry toted both them and his now lukewarm mug of tea to the garage. The Ferrari was the vehicle of choice, mostly because it was the easiest set of keys for him to find and he wasn’t going to spend another second looking for any other keyring. He strapped the baby securely into the backseat of the bright yellow car before hopping in on the driver’s side. He rubbed his dull, tired eyes with the backs of his hands before opening the garage door and bringing the engine to life.

This better fucking work, Harry thought to himself as he peeled out of his private driveway and onto the streets of his neighborhood.

//

Harry couldn’t believe it. Fifty-two seconds. Literally fifty-two seconds after he had turned onto the desolate street that his house was on and began driving aimlessly was all it took for his baby, who has been screaming non-stop for going on six hours, to stop crying and fall asleep immediately. It made Harry laugh out loud at how ridiculous he looked. It was nearing three o'clock in the morning and here Harry was, in his upper class, gated community driving around in a bright yellow Ferrari wearing a shirt covered in baby spit-up and hair that hadn’t been washed in god knows how long - all to make his baby go to sleep.

He kept his low beams on, fearing that he might draw the wrong type of attention at this hour and end up having the police called on him. There was almost something soothing about the engine to him too, he thought. But in actuality, it was probably just that fact that this is the longest he’d gone without listening to his baby cry like someone was inflicting excruciating pain on their tiny little body. 

Harry sipped his tea in between turning corners and continued to creep through the empty streets. After nearly twenty minutes of silence, he felt like it was safe to say that his baby was out for the night. At least he really fucking hoped so considering he would have been out for the night after crying as hard as they had been. Just as he was ready to make the left turn that would take him back to his home, his phone rang, nearly making him jump out of his skin at how the ringer pierced the silence in the car.

He checked in the reflective mirror to make sure that the interruption hadn’t disturbed the baby’s sleep. Thankfully, it hadn’t and they were still sleeping soundly with their cheeks squished against the straps of the car seat and their blanket tucked snuggly around their body like a little burrito.

“Hello?”

“Haaaaaaaaaaaaaarry,” her voice bled through the speaker and into his ear. 

She was drunk. Almost certainly.

“Hiiiii, lovie,” Harry drew his voice out slightly to mimic hers.

“I didn’t think you’d be awake this late. Just wanted to check on you guysssss.”

He heads her huff loudly and some rustling in the background that sounded like sheets crumpling. She was most likely coming home from the club and getting ready for bed seeing as it was now well past three o'clock in the morning.

“We’re alright,” he decided to spare her the gruesome details about how their child had been screaming nonstop and not worry her pretty drunk head, “Wha’ about you? Ye’ havin’ fun?”

“Soooooo much fun,” she giggled before sighing, “But I miss you guys sooo much. I think I might come home tomorrow.”

“Why come home early if you’re havin’ soooooooo much fun?” Harry chuckled quietly into the phone.

 “Because I miss you and I miss the baby and the bed in my hotel room is cold and empty without you and it feels weird not waking up to breastfeed at 1 o'clock in the morning,” she rambled, “Wait, why are you whispering?”

The corners of Harry’s lips turned up when he realized she was saying the exact words he had been thinking earlier that evening about being miserable at night without her.

“The baby’s asleep in the backseat-”

“Backseat? You’re in the car?” her voice sobered up immediately.

“No, no. It’s not like that,” Harry did his best to quickly backtrack and reassure her that it was nothing bad that landed them on the road at half-past three, “Everything’s fine. Bubby wouldn’t stop cryin’ so mum told me to take em for a drive and see if it calmed them down. Worked pretty well. They were out before I even made it past the neighbor’s house. Turns out the Ferrari’s better for more than just looks.”

She scoffed on the other end, making Harry furrow his brows in confusion but quickly fade into a smile after she spoke.

“The Ferrari, huh? You never take me out in that thing anymore. Do you like bubs more than me now?” 

He couldn’t see her, but he knew for a fact she was dramatically pouting against the glass screen of her phone.

“Hey, tha’s not nice,” Harry chuckled softly, “Don’t make me pick favorites. It was the only key I could find. Think I accidentally washed the keys to the Audi last night. I’ve been so tired lately I can barely see straight.”

“Welcome to my world, bubby.”

She wasn’t trying to be snide or dismiss him, it was just her drunken mind speaking for itself and Harry knew that.

“Anywayyyys. You owe me a ride in the Ferrari when I get back.”

“Only if ye’ promise to stay away for the rest of the weekend like ya planned. I won’t let ye’ back in this house if you ditch ye’ friends for us.”

Harry’s eyes were getting droopy and he decided to finally head back to the garage to park the car and go back inside. 

“You guys are more important, though.”

Even though she was drunk, she was being honest and it warmed Harry’s heart. 

“We’ll be waiting right here for ye’, love. ‘S probably time for all of us t’ go t’ bed now, innit?”

“I guesssssss,” she groaned through a yawn.

Harry laughed once more at her innocence, “Take care of yourself for me, yeah? Wash your face and leave some water on the nightstand for in the morning.”

“Sure thing, daddy.” 

“Hey! Can’t be talkin’ like that when you’re not around. S’not fair.”

Harry was just messing with her, but there was some slight truth to his words.

“Alright! Alright,” she sleepily giggled, “I’ll save it for when I get back. ‘M gonna go to bed for real now. Give bubby a kiss for me.”

“I will. Love ye’.”

“Love you too, H.”

Harry hung up before her, knowing she’d fall asleep with her phone in her hand if he didn’t end the call first. He took one last look at the sleeping infant in his backseat before shutting off the whirring engine of the Ferrari that he’d just parked in his open garage. Just seeing the peacefulness that washed over their features and the way their lips turned out in a pout from having such chubby cheeks was enough for Harry to take back every hostile thought he’d had earlier tonight. 

Before he attempted the impossible mission of transferring his bub from car to crib without stirring them, he decided to snap a photo to send to Anne to let her know that her advice was greatly appreciated and that bub had taken to the engine sounds without a fight. He wasn’t sure what he’d do without his mother. Well, both his own mother and his baby’s mother. He owed them so much more than he could ever possibly give back to them, he thought to himself as he placed one last goodnight kiss on his child’s forehead before tiptoeing out of the nursery and into his bed to sleep peacefully and dream of two days from now when his love would be home and they could be a family together again.

[mm2305]

The anniversary

Fandom : Lucifer (tv series)

Warnings / words : none this is pure fluff / 2.1 k

Pairings : Lucifer Morningstar x Chloe Decker 

Disclaimer : none of these characters are mine ,rights to the rightful owners

Description :  After Lucifer's return from Hell, Chloe has made preparations for their six month anniversary as a couple.

Author’s note : Hello everyone! I wrote and posted this back in June but I just realised I only posted the link to the ao3 and never the fic itself! Better late than never right? English is not my first language so please be kind. Also a big thank you to my amazing beta @forever5hines  / @tossacointoyourmorningstar .

Enjoy!

--------------------------------

It's funny how life turns out, isn't it? If someone had told Chloe 4 years ago that she would fall in love with that jerk, Lucifer Morningstar, she would have laughed in their faces. But here she is, shopping for their six month anniversary.

There were several obstacles in their way. The more they worked together, the more Chloe liked him. He had adopted the character of a playboy, a diva, but it wasn't exactly who he was. He was all these, but he was also smart, honest, respectful and supportive. He had a softer side which he chose to hide, in order not to get hurt. The only one who broke through his facade, was her. From then on, he did everything in his power to keep her safe. Dealt with Malcolm, his mom, his brother, Cain, went to Hell twice to save her.

When she learned the truth though,she ran and conspired with Kinley, tried to poison him. Betrayed him. Abandoned him. Even though they continued to work together after a while, nothing was the same anymore. She realized that she was in love with him and as  time went by, she accepted him too. All his sides. The good, the bad and the crispy.

He had to leave though. That night at the balcony she finally told him she loved him. Even though she begged him to stay, he left. It was partly her fault, because she brought Kinley to Los Angeles. Kinley then brought the demons up to Earth. She understood why he left. The demons had to be contained. And only Lucifer could do that.

Six months later, he came back, putting an end to both his and her misery. From then on, they began talking about their feelings and visited Linda a few times. In the end though, they decided to get into a relationship.

They were happier than ever before. Worked together, spent lots of time with each other, had dates. Of course, they had their problems too. Lucifer was still struggling to believe that there were people in his life who loved and appreciated him. To him, it seemed like a good dream, that's bound to end very soon. Chloe reassured him many times,but the feeling remained rooted deep in his heart. Chloe, on the other hand, was dealing with her own guilt. She tried to poison and hurt him. She wondered, even now, why the hell she tried to do that. What she also wondered, was if she was good enough for him. Chloe Decker, a human, a nobody , good enough for the Devil? The Lightbringer? They both had to work on their feelings, that's for sure.

At the moment, she is at a mall with Ella. It's their six month anniversary the next day and she had prepared a dinner at LUX for herself and Lucifer. For this reason, she wanted to get a new dress. Maze was babysitting Trixie and Linda had a therapy session scheduled for a patient. Only Ella was available. The problem is that they've been searching for hours and they've got nothing so far.

"Come on girl, tell me how's the relationship with the Devil going?", Ella inquired.

"It's been good. More than good, actually. He makes me very happy.", she replied smiling.

"I can see that. You're glowing Chloe. He is too. I've told you that I ship Deckerstar, haven't I?"

" Yes Ella. Many, many, many times.  Anyway, I'm telling you, if we don't find anything in the next 30 minutes, then I'm going to wear one of my own dresses. It's been 3 hours and we haven't found anything! " she complained pouting just a little.

" Oh shut up Decker. Look I found this. It's beautiful, isn't it? "

" Mmm… I'll try it. In fact that's the last I'm trying. Then I'm going home. " she said taking the dress from Ella.

When she came out Ella gasped in awe.

" Oh my God! You look gorgeous!", she commented  shocked.

"Really? ", asked Chloe turning around to look at herself in the mirror.

Ella has excellent taste , she thought. No one could deny that. This satin dress was simple but elegant. Not too formal, but still perfect for her purpose. It had a color almost identical to her eyes. Icy-blue. The fabric soft and feeling wonderful on her skin. The dress hugged her figure but it wasn't clingy. It reached to just a little more than her knee. It really was perfect for her.

"I'm getting this.", she decided after a few moments.

                                                 ***************

Lucifer loves speed. It makes him feel free and freedom and free will are things he has and will always stand up for. At the moment, he is racing through the highways of Los Angeles, in the comfort of his beloved, black Corvette,at high speed. The air landing on his face as he passes through the roads, the whole feeling of freedom, still seems incredible to him. That's one of the main reasons he bought a convertible. Something else he loves even more than this though, is his beloved Detective. Chloe. He's known her for years, and she wormed her way into his heart, since the first moment he met her. They've been through a lot. His mom, Cain, her leaving and coming back, and the most recent: him going back to Hell.

The night he left, when she told him she loved him, accepted him completely, he thought his heart would burst out of his chest. Seeing his Detective's tears and pleads for him to stay, broke his heart in a thousand little pieces. However he couldn't risk the safety of his friends and the family he had here. When the problems in Hell were resolved, he came back. Doctor Linda helped him a lot after that. Chloe too. For him it was much much more that six months down there. In the end though, they managed.

Tomorrow is their six month anniversary. He got her a ring. Not an engagement ring. A promise for the future. That he'll always be by her side no matter what. Love her, protect her. Anything she needs,anything she desires. The stone was the exact color of her lovely eyes. A favor called in here and there, helped him achieve his goal.

After a few more minutes going around, he set for LUX. He had a few matters to attend to and he was needed there. He'd meet his Detective tomorrow.

                       *******

When Chloe came back from her shopping spree (she ended up getting a pair of short-heeled shoes, in the same color as the dress), she was exhausted. After taking a quick shower and brushing her teeth, she proceeded to hog the bed, like someone once told her.

Chloe woke up with a smile the next day. Checked if things were going well, ate breakfast, spent some time with Trixie. Then she started getting ready. Followed her skin care routine - the results were amazing, soft skin and all -, showered and shaved thoroughly. Then she dried her hair and styled it into waves. Afterwards, she did her makeup. Simple, not heavy, in light colors. Lastly she put on her dress and shoes. I do look pretty good, she thought while looking at herself one last time at the mirror. She took Lucifer's present with her, too.

One of the very few things she had left from her father were his cufflinks. She wanted to give them to him. Not even Dan knew about their existence. She had gone to a jewelry store to get something extra etched on them. She added an 'M' in the outside and a 'C' on the inside. In this way she wanted him to understand, how much he meant to her. With the 'M' they would become his own , while with the 'C' she wanted him to have a part of her with him. Will he like them though?, she wondered anxiously. To her it was something important, but could that measure up to the person who created the stars? Come on Chloe, relax. It's going to be alright. With that she went out of her house, to get to LUX.

                                                    *************

Everything was ready. Lucifer's favorite dishes were ready to be served. The candles around, check. The DJ ready to play a special song for tonight, check. Comfortable, low lighting, check. Lucifer…check.

They both gasped at the sight of the other. Lucifer was wearing a black tuxedo, with a white shirt and a red handkerchief. He looked sharp and  very handsome. Chloe was wearing her new dress, looking absolutely gorgeous.

"Darling, you look exquisite," said Lucifer with adoration.

"I could say the same for you too, Lucifer", replied Chloe with a radiant smile.

"How about we sit down babe?"

"Of course, my dear."

After sitting down and getting their food, they made a toast.

" To us. May this be the first anniversary of many more to come"

" To us, love." he replied with a clink of their wine glasses.

They talked about the future, laughed about Trixie's adventures at school and when they finished their dessert they went on to exchange their gifts.

"Lucifer,I didn't buy you anything… Instead, I wanted to give you something special.These are my dad's cufflinks. I added something though...On the outside you'll see an 'M' for 'Morningstar'. On the inside,however, there is a 'C' for 'Chloe'...I wanted I'd give you a "piece" of me through this to have with you… If you don't like it, it is possible to have it changed… I just wanted to give you something that is very important to me, because you are one of the most important people in my life and… "

"Chloe, darling, I love it. In fact, you have rendered me speechless. Thank you so much, my love. ", he interrupted her giving her a genuine smile.

"Do you really like it or are you saying that just to make me happy? I mean, this isn't some of the extravagant things you're used to and I don't know… Maybe you would like something else… ?",she asked him nervously,looking at her feet.

"Chloe, love, look at me.", Lucifer told her lifting her chin to look at her lovely eyes. "You know I don't lie, don't you? Then trust me when I say that this is the best gift I've ever received. I know just how much your dad's death hurt you and by giving me one of his belongings…You've made me so happy and grateful, my dear. So, you don't need to worry about that alright? "

" Okay ", she sighed.

"Now it's my turn," he announced opening the little, black, velvet box. Chloe gasped.

"It isn't an engagement ring. It's my promise to you. I want to promise you that I will always be by your side. Your friend, your partner, your boyfriend, whatever you desire. Protect you, cherish you, support you in everything you do. Anything. You are the light in my life  and you've touched my heart in ways nobody ever has, in my long life. I want you to know I love you so much," he confessed while putting the ring on Chloe's finger.

" Oh Lucifer… I don't know what to say… Thank you, honey. I love you too, " she added hugging him.

"Dance with me? ", she asked him after a few moments.

"Anything for you, my darling. "

Chloe then signaled the DJ to put a very specific song on.

As they swayed, she whispered the lyrics to his ear.

"Do you feel my heart beating,

 Do you understand

 Do you feel the same

Am I only dreaming

Is this burning an eternal flame "

" Do you understand Lucifer? I love you with all my heart and I will always stand  by your side, too. Always.", she whispered teary-eyed but looking straight into his eyes.

"Even if I am the Devil? Who has tortured countless souls in Hell? A monster, like many others think?"

" Even if you are the Devil,who did his job in Hell. The Devil, who has been through many things, but never gave up. The Devil who is loving, adorable, caring, good-hearted and dangerous only to those who hurt his friends and family. The Devil who is a perfect boyfriend and ��whom I love with all my heart. ", she replied tearfully.

" I love you too,my Detective. Let's continue dancing, love, shall we? ", he said kissing her sweetly.

And they did. The rest of the night was spent between the two of them. Lost in each other, their emotions, touches and kisses, they continued to sway on the dance floor. In their own, strange for some people, perfect for them, little world.

-------------------------------------

Thank you for reading!!!

[catching-words]

Could you do a story where both raihan and Leon’s Pokemon hate the lover and want them to break up so they do pranks on them like pushes them in to pools and stuff the reason why raihan and Leon don’t know is that they don’t believe the lover because come on it is they precious Pokemon they are talking. But one day the pranks get serious and really hurt the lover.😰 Thank you for listening

When L's Pokemon Hate their S/o

Alright, let's see what I can do with this.

Leon:

- When you started dating leon you had a unsettling feeling about his pokemon. Mainly his Dragapult.

- All his other pokemon seemed to like you well, asking for belly Pat's or sweet kisses on their nose. But his Dragapult seemed to hate you.

- And it was starting to scare you to an extent.

- Soon enough his Dragapult started to pull Tricks on you, such as:

-Bumping into your shoulder everytime you walk

-nipping at you when leon isn't looking

- and at some point it used a ghost move on you making you sorta weak for the rest of the day.

- You have tried multiple times to warn leon about his pokemon behavior, but he only shrugged you off say

- "She just playing around, there's no harm in that right?"

- sigh, "Right..."

- Sometimes leon was as dense as pudding.

- But the antics kept going, it was the same routine for weeks. Getting repeatedly shoved and laughed at by his Dragapult. It made you cry everytime.

- But you held it in and waited.

- You waited until Dragapult slipped up and got caught.

- And it finally happened.

- You and leon hiking, deciding it was best to let your guys pokemon out for some exercise. And once again, dragapult was at you tail.

- You tried you best to ignore its taunting eyes and enjoy your time with your boyfriend

- But then the Ignoring turned for worse. Dragapult wipped it tail at the bottom of your feet, making slip down the steep hill.

- Sharp rocks cut into your skin before you rolled to a complete stop

- Everything hurt, and it was hard to see

- but soon leon came running down, holding you in his strong grip. Dragapult at it side.

- he growled before snapping his head towards his pokemon.

- "WHAT IS WRONF WITH YOU?!"

- Leon saw everything, from the swipe of it tail to it's dark look when it saw you fall. And soon enough all his s/o words came back to his head.

- She was right, and he didnt believe her.

- Dragapult whimpers as it tries to curl up to leon only to pull away sharply.

- "She was only trying to be nice. Why did you do this to her, she didn't deserve this."

- He soon commanded his pokemon back into its ball. And with a sad look, it complied

- For the next week, leon refused to let Dragapult out of its ball, saying that it needed time to think about what its done while he took care of you.

- And as much as you like the affection and attention you were getting, you felt bad for dragapult and ask him to let them out of their ball.

- He was hesitant, but he agreed.

- When Dragapult was let out, it looked nervous and sad. They looked at you before giving off a small wimper. There eyes filled with regret.

- you gave off a shy smile, reaching out your hand towards the dragon.

- "Its ok, I accept your apology. Maybe we could start over again?"

- The dragapult gave a small cry of joy before nuzzling into your hand.

- Leon smiled. Cause now, he knew all of his pokemon will love his s/o as much as he does.

Raihan:

- It was because of his pokemon that you guys got together.

- Bumping into a large flygon wasn't you exact expectation of meeting you boyfriend but you weren't complaining.

- But one of his pokemon seemed to despise you since you first met.

- And that was his Goodra :(

- You didnt know If it because your looks or the fact that you had and all fairy team but you knew for sure that they wanted you gone!

- And it all started to get worse.

- Goodra began to get meschevious with you.

- They began pulling pranks on you by spreading their goo on the floor so you would slip

- Driping goo in the curry so his pokemon think your cooking bad

- And even faked getting hurt by one of your pokemon. Your poor pokemon had to be put in a pokeball for the rest of the day.

- And goodra just smiled. Every. TIME.

- You looked miserable, and flygon felt bad for you. They knew how goodra could be.

- And as desperately as you wish you could tell Raihan, you couldnt bring yourself to do it.

- Goodra has been on his team since he was a starter in the wild. And you didnt want him to think his good ol pokemon was bad.

- so, you never told.

- But you didnt need to. Because he saw.

- And that day when you fell into the lake, he snapped.

- Goodra was feeling extra Petty that day and decided to take it out on you.

- Goodra pretended to have their leg stuck under a rock near the lake. And you being a decent person, went to help them. Desperately hoping that it wasn't a bad injury.

- But they only smiled before throwing you into the lake.

- You flailed as you reached for something to grip. But that came short before you finally sunk in. Goodra has finally gotten rid of you.

- " S/O"

- Raihan yelled your name before jumping in. Goodra face stiffed as it watch their trainer swim under the lake.

- It was silent...

- soon Raihan broke through to the surface, gasping for air before carrying you soaked form to the edge of the lake. He held you close, begging for you to breathe

- Goodra gave a happy cry as they ran to Raihan. Only to be stopped by his cold eyes.

- "Stay away. I saw what you did!"

- Goodra gave an innocent tilt of its head.

- "Dont act innocent, I saw what you did. I saw you push her into the lake. I saw everything you did and it unfair!"

- Tears brimmed his eyes as he turned away.

- "You really are a bad dragon!"

- Goodra gave a short cry as they stared at raihan. They didnt mean to go this far.

- "Go back to camp NOW!"

- Goodra gave one last look before turning away.

- As the days goes on, raihan began to ignore goodra, Removing them from the matches, and only feeding them when necessary. And you didnt like it

- You didnt care how bad Goodra treated you. They didnt deserve this treatment.

- So you stole goodra ball from raihan belt before going to a secluded place to let them out.

- when you release goodra, they expected to be treated with another one of raihan cold looks. But when they saw you, they gave out a wail before running up to you and embracing you in it slimey hold

- You laughed before hugging back. They gave off a short cry as they hugged you tighter. They were sorry.

- And it was ok, you released from their grip before reaching their hand out and rubbing their snout.

- They gave a joyful cry befor laying down, pulling you close with its tail.

- You smiled before placing a hand on their snout once more, laying against their form.

- You and goodra have now made an alliance with each other, and it was the happiest you could be.

- And when raihan found you with goodra.

- He couldn't help but smile too!

( This was a good request, I like writing it. But I feel bad for the poor pokemon, I feel like they could never do such a thing. But its whatever. I also noticed I give raihan more content than leon but I will work on that. Request are open! Feel free to request as much as you want!)

Ps. Pls give piers request.

[mo-mo-and-porkchop]

Freedom is a state of mind

Vikings Fan Fiction

Chapter 9 (Chapter 8 here)

*I do not own any part of the Canon Vikings characters. It is simply my interpretation. I make no profit off of this.

**I do own the original characters and everything associated with them.

Tagging for updates: @whenimaunicorn , @captstefanbrandt , @kenzieam , @mblaqgi , @wish-i-was-a-mermaid , @microsmacrosandneedles , @babeyouareenough , @youbloodymadgenius , @yourpurplequeen

A few weeks past and a new line of slaves were being hauled off one of Kattegat's many ships and Declan caught sight of a man from his life back home. A friend of his father’s to be exact. He rushed over, the possibility of news of his family fueled his speed.

“Addis, what are you doing here?!" he asked excitedly once he’d caught up to him.

The slaves were let loose and he rubbed his wrists as they spoke.

"Declan! My boy!" the man said happily before ulling him into a hug. It was good to see a familiar face."I was taken during a raid. Many months ago," he answered.

"And my family?"

"Alive and well," he added with a small smile. Addis glanced around and leaned forward, excitement in his eyes. "Word has spread of King Conchobar's victory against the Northmen. They are too scared to try again," he chuckled, motioning at some of the Northerners as they walled by He leaned closer, his voice now high enough for only the two of them to hear. "And I hear rumors the missing Princess has ended up here. In Kattegat," he whispered excitedly.

Declan's heart began to race. "Is the King searching for her?"

"Aye. Now that there is no threat to his lands Prince Arlen has finally convinced him to seek her out. And I can guarantee he will pay a handsome reward for her savior."

"Well, if I see her, I can assure you she will chose the offered safety from a young man instead of an old horse like yourself," he said with a teasing squeeze to his shoulder. "Settle in my friend. Life here is very different from our home."

He left Addis to find his bed and headed to find the Ehrlana. She needed to know of her father's success and his concern over her well-being from him first.

-------

Meanwhile, Ivar had Ehrlana scrubbing dirt and blood from his trousers. She imagined how painful it must be at times to travel the way he was forced to. How deep the cuts must have been at times. She imagined how humiliating it would be to constantly have to ask for help. It became clear very early on why the people of Kattegat looked at him with a mix of pity and fear. And why he was always on the edge of rage.

But she also understood his anger. She understood what it was like to have people look at you with pity. To have them whisper behind you as you pass, spreading rumors over every piece of your existence. She understood how lonely being the child of a King truly was. Especially when you were treated differently than the rest.

She dried her hands as best she could and headed off for the daily resupply. The items more or less the same as the day before. And the day before that. Ivar never asked for more than he needed that day. Ehrlana always requested extra of the things that never changed. Her strategy had given her ample time to do as she pleased. Which honestly wasn’t ever much more than finding a waterfall warmed by the sun to swim in.

Today was largely the same. She went by the various stalls, feigning interest in comparing wares before sending them off to the great hall. But this time she added a few things for herself. Nothing worth much, but everything necessary.

Declan hesitated when he caught sight of her. Once she found out her father was alive and searching for her he felt like she would have no further need for him. That, even though they had become friendly, he would be discarded and left behind when she finally went home. He was having a hard time deciding if he should accept such a fate.

He decided hearing the news from him was better than from Addis, a stranger, and he forced his feet to continue their journey.

“What is all this for?” he asked sifting through her basket, still attempting to avoid the inevitable.

“Ivar.”

“Ivar? Why?” he asked following her as she headed to the next stall.

“For his legs,” she explained further.

"Ivar is a monster. He does not deserve your kindness. Now or ever,” he said stopping her and forcing her eyes to find his.

She firmly pulled herself from his grasp. “Everyone deserves kindness at some point,” she said with ferocity. “Even someone as cruel as Ivar. Who is not as evil as everyone may think," she added in his defense.

“Ivar, these people, they are the reason your family is coming for you.  You should not want to make his life better for some irrational motive," he spat before he could stop himself.

The Princess’s eyes widened. Her heart pounded . Her stomach dropped. She felt as if she vomit right where she stood.

"What do you mean my family is coming for me?" she whispered excitedly, pulling Declan off the the shadows and away from listening ears. "They would not risk it. I made sure of it," she added trying mostly to convince herself it wasn't true.

"Your father and expelled every Northman from his lands and your brothers have convinced him to find you," he explained simply.

She closed her eyes and silently s folded her brothers for meddling.

"There is more," he continued cautiously.

Her eyes sprang back open and found Declan's. "What do you mean more?"

His anguish was written all over his face. He didn't want to warn her. Her wanted her returned home - where she would be safe and sound. Selfishly he also wanted to silence Addis and keep her here, with him. He doubted a princess would remain friends with a commoner upon their return home.

"Declan. What is it?" she urged him further.

A defeated sigh fell from him. "Someone is already here and looking for you," he admitted quietly.

"They can not find me." She desperately glanced around, trying to spot the stranger now hunting for her. "It will bring nothing good if word finds my family," she added bringing her attention back to him.

"Ehrlana," he said steadying her, his eyes locking with hers. "Everything will be fine," he reassured; though he had hoped she would have wanted to leave. It was disheartening that she seemed to choose her life here.

She pulled him into a hug. "Thank you."

His arms momentarily tightened around her in response before parting from her. He held her face in his hand, worry clear in her eyes. He fought the urge to kiss her. "I swear to you he will not find you."

She nodded silently, her hand finding his. She prayed he was right. "I must get back," she choked out quietly, her fear still gripping at her chest. "Ivar will notice I am late," she lied.

Declan gave a halfhearted smile and nodded. His hand slipped from her cheek and let her pass.

She had been terrified she’d been found out. Ehrlana still wasn’t sure she was in the clear just yet. There was no telling what would happen now and she feared Ivar would find out her secret before the threat of revelation was fulfilled.

For now though she needed to appear as if everything was normal and that's exactly what she did.

------

That evening she returned to Ivar's bedchamber with the freshly cleaned clothing and a small jar resting on top the small pile in her arms. Their usual nightly routine began after she’d put them away. Only instead of removing the braids in his hair after undoing his straps, she opened the jar and started to smooth some of the cream across one of his fresher cuts.

As expected he pushed her hand away and stopped her. "What do you think you are doing?"

“It will help with the scarring,” she explained. “And the pain,” she said slowly going back to caring for his legs. It was a risk, but he needed a healer’s touch and she knew he would never ask for it. Once she was freed of his grip, she went back to caring for him.

"What pain?" he feigned ignorance to her assumption.

"As your servant I see more of you than you know,” she said pushing through his facade. “I see how much you hurt even when you do your best to hide it."

Ehrlana knew once it took effect he would be, if nothing else, grateful internally. Scents of lemon mixed with a hint of lavender filled the air as she worked the balm in her hands. She’d told him it was for the cuts, but it was for much more. It would help with swelling, pain, infection, aide in his sleep, help ease his anger and his stress. The balm was nothing short of miraculous; a concoction learned from her own healer back home.

As a Princess she had only received the best of care. Her healer was one of the few people her father allowed to see her whenever she wishes, so Ehrlana picked up everything she could from the woman.

Gently she smoothed some over the largest of the cuts before tenderly rubbing it into his skin. He grimaced slightly. His jaw tightened with anger, but he fought the initial urge to push her away. Whatever it was, it was working. At least enough for Ivar to briefly feel relief. The coolness against his skin felt better than anything he'd tried before, so he allowed her to continue.

"My mother was a healer," she started as she repeated the process, applying a second coat on the first leg. "She taught me as much as possible before I was..." Her eyes momentarily darted to his.

They both knew how she got there. There was no need to elaborate on her capture it would only lead to questions she wasn't ready to answer.

"This,” she said moving on to his other leg, “was always my favorite.”

She finished rubbing his legs down and wiped her hands clean, but not before inhaling the scent, and for a brief moment, allowed a smile to cross her lips. She closed the jar, grabbed some dressings, and began to wrap it around them.

"Where is your mother now?" Ivar asked, watching her as she moved about his room.

“She didn’t live through the last raid on my people,” she said, pausing to keep her composure. Caoimhe was on top of her list of unwanted conversation topics. Fortunately her fate was also unnecessary to elaborate on.

[theaceace]

@hairdryertrash I hope it’s ok, but I may have written a thing thanks your amazing response to my post about the archive staff people-watching. Specifically the bit about it being from an outside perspective. Also, I don’t have the guts to write a full statement/statement-worthy background for random passers-by, but hopefully this will do! Enjoy?

Statement of Millie Wardell, regarding a group of customers; recorded? Statement begins:

I wouldn’t call them regulars, because that would imply that they have any sort of discernible pattern or routine, which I can promise you they don’t. They’re never here at the same time twice, rarely all together, and every time I see them, they look worse. There are some things that are pretty consistent across all of their visits, but for the most part, it’s all just… random.

And yes, I know that pretty much nothing is ever really random – I did occasionally pay attention in school. But if there is any sort of logic to them and their decisions – their conversations – I haven’t managed to figure it out yet.

One of them’s been coming here for a few years, on and off – I can still mostly recognise him, although he looks pretty different now to when he first started coming in. I remember he was always sort of stooped, and a bit stuffy-looking, and I don’t think his glasses ever fit right because they were always sliding down his nose. Maybe that’s why he wears contacts these days. Somehow, when I think of him, I still remember him like that – not as he is now, with shadows under his eyes fit to swallow his hollowed cheeks, and scars littering what little skin he leaves visible.

He used to come in very infrequently with a few other people that I guess he worked with – I saw them much more often than I did him, but they haven’t been by in a while. They were lovely; always had time to stop and chat for a few minutes.

I’m pretty sure his name is Jon – I’ve just realised, I’ve been going on about this bloke and I haven’t even mentioned his name. But yes, I’m sure that’s it. He got coffee to take away a couple of times, and I remember writing it on the side of the cup thinking, yeah that seems about right. He looks like a Jon.

I don’t remember what the others were called – I’m not really sure that I ever knew.

These days, he comes in trailing after people I hesitate to call his friends, because he never looks overly happy to be in their presence. Maybe it’s just that he doesn’t want to be here. Or they’re new co-workers that he has to make nice with or something, I don’t know. There’s a few of them, and they turn up at all hours, every combination of them imaginable; but always with Jon.

Today all four of the new ones are here. They come in quickly out of the heavy drizzle, quickly scuffing their shoes on the matt and shucking off their coats as they claim a corner spot in the window. It’s usually empty when they arrive – if you ask me, it’s because of the cobwebs that stubbornly cling high in the corner and on the ceiling, no matter how much we wave the end of the hoover up there. It never seems to bother them, though. That or they’ve never noticed, and I’m not going to be the one to point it out to them.

Jon usually orders for everyone, and it’s never quite the same thing twice.

He walks straight up to me; the line that had been almost to the door five minutes ago is gone. It always is when they arrive. He orders two coffees today (one in the largest size we do and as strong as I can make it, one with peppermint) one mug of tea (the only consistent item of his order, I know exactly how he takes it) and a large strawberry shortcake milkshake. I open my mouth to tell him that we don’t do milkshakes, but something makes me pause. I turn to look at the specials board, frowning, and sure enough – there it is. On the board that I wrote first thing this morning. I then open my mouth to tell him a little white lie that I’m very sorry, but we’ve run out, and close it again. There’s no point. I know the recipe. I know where the ingredients will be. I tell myself that at least today it’s a fairly sensible flavour combination.

Jon hands me the exact change before I have a chance to tell him the total, and then drops a couple of quid in the tip jar on the counter. In his defence, he’s always been a reasonable tipper, and I’m willing to forgive a lot for that.

I tell him I’ll bring the drinks over as soon as they’re done; he nods, heads over to their table, and I try very hard to focus on what I’m doing rather than the snippets of conversation I can hear over the radio. It’s a moderately successful attempt – people tend to forget about me when they’re having important, confidential talks. Not that these guys ever seem to talk about anything too important or confidential, as far as I can tell. Mostly they just people-watch.

Alright, look. I like a bit of people-watching; who doesn’t? It’s a pretty good way to pass the time on the tube, or waiting for a bus, or during a slow shift or something. But them? They people-watch on a whole other level. Like a competitive sport or something. Champion people-watchers, ha!

Sorry.

By the time I make my way over, they’ve finished talking about the fire at one of the BP offices that’s been all over the news – and for the sake of my sanity, I decide it’s best if I ignore the way they talked so familiarly about Jude up to her old tricks again. They all murmur thanks as I set their drinks down in front of them, and by now I have a pretty good idea of who is having what.

The extra-large, extra-caffeinated cup goes to the young woman sat closest to the window. She never meets my eyes, very rarely shifts her gaze from the outside world, but she is unfailingly polite, and always stacks everyone’s mugs to bring back to counter as they leave, so I think she’s my favourite. Her hijab today is a soft blue, and when she reaches for her coffee, I see that her nails have been shakily painted to match. Her hands are always perfectly steady, so I suspect it’s the handiwork of her – partner? Friend? I’ve never been too sure what the deal is there, but they seem to be getting pretty close. I’m glad – there’s always been a bit of weird vibe between them.

Peppermint coffee next – she always has strong flavours that one, but never anything too rich. I remember the first time she came in with them all, she ordered for herself; so that was already pretty strange, since everyone else had always just let Jon order for them. Normally it wouldn’t even register – people ask for weird things all the time – but for some reason, her word choice really stood out to me. She shivered a little, stared me down, and said she didn’t want anything heavy or cloying. She then gave her name as Daisy, asked for a takeaway cup, and marched unsteadily out of the door as soon as she had her drink in hand.

I mean, I just figured she was one of these people that was really sensitive to certain flavours or something, but now I don’t think that’s it. I don’t know what it is, and I suppose it doesn’t really matter. She’s never complained about any of the drinks, so I guess it can’t be too bad.

I smile at her and Daisy smiles back, quick and sharp and I’m taken aback all over again by how much yellow there is in her brown eyes; it takes me a moment to unfreeze my muscles long enough to put the drink down. The grin falters and drops. Without looking, her possible-girlfriend – I want to say Basira, but I might be wrong – reaches across and places a gentle hand on her knee. It looks like it should be reassuring, but she only twitches slightly and shifts until Basira’s hand slides away.

It isn’t hard to continue like I didn’t just see that slightly awkward exchange – I used to work in retail, I’m accustomed to pretending I didn’t see all kinds of things.

The milkshake I set down between the other two women – Helen has already produced from the miraculous depths of her bag a couple of those curly straws that make everything three times as hard to drink. I didn’t know they made them iridescent now, but they look pretty cool. She and… Melanie? Yeah, Melanie, they always share a drink, which is pretty cute. I try not to stare too much. Not just because it’s rude, and I don’t want them to think I’m being – I don’t know, homophobic or something – but because it always gives me a thumping headache.

And finally, I set Jon’s mug of tea down in front of him. He’s tucked the furthest into the corner, almost sinking into the ancient armchair. I barely hear him thank me as I turn to hurry back to the counter. Not that there are any more customers to see to; it’s just that I can’t bear to be so close to them all for any stretch of time. The prickling on the back of my neck becomes unbearable, and I always feel like I can’t catch my breath.

But that, of course, is their cue to begin.

It’s usually Melanie that starts off their weird little game – her movements unsubtle and impatient as she points out some poor passer-by. Pickings are slim today, and she points to the lone soul daft enough to brave the weather without a coat.

“Desolation,” she says boldly, like that’s a normal thing to say while pointing to a total stranger. I mean, I try not to judge them too harshly – apart from Helen, they all look exhausted, and I guess this is some sort of weird stress relief. But still. Desolation? What? I start wiping down the machine and idly sorting the dishwasher in an attempt to look like I’m not listening.

“Not saying I disagree,” Daisy says in a tone that sounds a lot like she does disagree and doesn’t care who knows it. “But we’re going to need a little more than that.”

Jon interrupts, an odd faraway look on his face at he picks up – oh shit, is that one of the corner spiders? Oh fuckfuck, it’s huge, what is he; oh, god, he’s put it back on a web in the corner what the fuck?

“Martin can’t make it,” he says, and I guess that means something to them all, because they nod with varying degrees of disappointment on their faces. I hurriedly turn back to stacking cups, and try very hard to forget that I ever saw the damn spider. If it’s still there by the time I need to close up I’ll have to get Ed from upstairs to come down and deal with it.

“Don’t think that means you’re getting out of it,” I hear Helen say, and it sounds like she’d smiling a little. Well, no. I’ve seen her smiles and none of them are little. They stretch wide across her face, although her eyes never seem to change shape with it.

“Yeah yeah, I know.”

I start to shuffle the cutlery around a little louder than is strictly necessary – I never like this part.

At first, I remember thinking they were some sort of weird writing or improv group or something. It’s not completely unheard of – we get quite a few, um, hipsters would probably be the polite way of describing them, so I just assumed that that’s what they were doing. But then I recognised Jon after a couple of visits as the dour academic-looking guy that hadn’t been in for nearly a year, and that theory sort of fizzled out.

So now I don’t know. The stories they come up with are – well, they unsettle me. Some of them are genuinely frightening, and I’ve woken up from more than a few nightmares to visions of insect swarms filling the pockets of all my clothes, and my shadow leeching up my legs leaving necrotic flesh in its wake, and my fingernails peeling away from my hands with long ribbons of skin still attached. Some of them are just a little weird, but I can never predict what sort of a day it’s going to be, so the less I have to hear, the better.

Maybe it’s a coping mechanism. From what I’ve heard about their job, it sounds intense.

I only catch snippets today. Melanie talks about a fever, about refusing to wear a coat in the depths of winter, then a jumper, about trips to a doctor, a specialist, about thermometers beeping too high to read. I don’t hear the end – I’m luckily distracted by the phone ringing. It’s with no small amount of relief that I chat about delayed deliveries – apparently there’s been some sort of tunnel collapse on one of the routes. Out of the corner of my eye, I think I see Jon sink further down into his chair when I repeat that, clutching his tea like a lifeline. Or maybe I’m just projecting, because when I turn to properly look, he’s once again sat staring intently outside with his elbows on his knees.

By the time I hang up, they’ve moved onto a new target. Helen and Basira argue good-naturedly about whether someone called Jared would be interested in this one; they keep going on about body-image. Daisy teasingly asks Basira for evidence, which starts them off again while Melanie laughs around her straw and Jon tilts his head, greying hair hanging low over his eyes.

For a while, their banter almost sounds normal. Melanie chimes in with a comment about how this person looked lonely, before tensing suddenly with a panicked look at Jon, who waves a hand like he needs to physically brush the words away.

“With the size of that bloody family she may already be, and no-one would ever know, least of all them,” Jon says, and Melanie’s surprised bark of laughter is echoed by Helen’s soft titters and a disgusted noise from Basira.

“Is that a yes?” Melanie asks excitedly, leaning forward so fast she nearly knocks her glass over. Helen steadies it, although I don’t know how – she doesn’t seem to move, and I know there’s no way she could reach from where she’s sat without moving at least a little.

“Better luck next time, I suppose,” Jon shrugs. “You too, Helen, Basira.”

“Tell us then, Archivist. Don’t leave us in suspense.” Helen doesn’t lean forwards, exactly, but I suddenly have the impression that she’s much closer to Jon than she was a few seconds ago.

Jon’s eyes flick between them – the only part of him that moves – before he looks at me. His eyes have a sheen to them, I realise. I’ve never really looked too hard before, always kept my gaze somewhere around the bridge of his nose, but now I feel. I feel.

God. I feel seen.

“What, it isn’t obvious?” He asks, and his voice is light. Teasing. I try to blink and find that I can’t.

Finally, finally, he turns back to them, and across his face, every one of his freckles – no.

No.

I will not say they blink, I won’t, I fucking didn’t see that, I –

“She’s for Beholding.”

I don’t hear anything else. I don’t know if they don’t talk, or if I’m just oblivious to the rest of their conversation, but they leave quite quickly after that. I go through the motions of closing up automatically, even though we should be open for another hour and a half. I can’t bring myself to care. I know there won’t be any more customers today.

I don’t know why I’m so unsettled. Of all the things I’ve heard come out of that man’s mouth, this is nothing. It’s nothing. I’m not thinking about it, I’m just focusing on sweeping, then mopping, and I’m definitely not, absolutely not, thinking about the horrendous itch that’s been burning at the outside corners of my eyes.

Except I am – I blink rapidly, although there are no tears gathering, and pull my phone out of my pocket. I don’t know who to call. My brother’s still at work, my parents won’t want to hear my rambling about this, and none of my friends are the sort of people to take it seriously. I don’t even know that I take it seriously. Honestly, I don’t even know what it is. I scroll down through my contacts twice before I come to a decision.

“Hello?” she says on the third ring, and I take a shaking breath.

“Hi, sorry, Georgie? Are you free? I think I need to talk to someone.”

[sky-girls]

Driving Me Wild

So here it is the first chapter! So this will have a chapter for each way, so 4 in total and hopefully everyone will have this kinda format. Also nice reminder that i don’t know  shit about buenos aires and i don’t actually remember thaaaat much about playing guitar so things here could be very very wrong in many ways. Anyway I hope you guys enjoy this!!!

The sweet way

“So we are going to start with the easiest one.” Matteo tells her over the phone as she is trying to tidy up her closet as her mom requested, so far it’s not going great. “At least for you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” She asks slightly offended as she gives up on folding her shirt properly, she hears him chuckle and she pouts.

“We are going to start with the sweet way.” He tells her and Luna hums. “Which is basically just being extremely considered and paying attention to what people might want and need and doing small things for them, which i think fits you perfectly.”

“Awww.” She says smiling a little to herself. “You think i’m sweet.”

“I don’t think i have ever even tried to hide that, delivery girl.” He laughs. “So there’s no reason for your reaction.”

“Just let me have this.” She tells him and he laughs even more. “Okay so basically I just gotta be extra nice to you?”

“Not just nice.” He tells her. “You gotta be surprising, you have to touch my soul with the small things you do. “

“Okay so that doesn’t sound hard at all.” Luna says with a pout. “How do I even know you have a soul, though? “

“That’s not being sweet, Luna Valente.” He says but he is trying not to laugh she can hear it.

“I am just making sure you are not putting me up to an impossible task.” She says smiling to herself.

“I would never do that to you, please.” He huffs. “You will just have to work really really hard to achieve this.”

“Well I never give up.” She says. “I am sure I can handle this.”

“Of course you can.” He says softly and there’s something weird on the way he says it but she doesn’t ask. “I am not giving you much pointers here cause since it’s me it would be cheating, plus I think you are a natural.”

“I will try my best, of course.” She tells him and the conversation dies a little after that. “So see you on monday?”

“Of course.” He says happily. “I can’t wait for it.”

Day 1

She spends all weekend thinking how to do this, how to be extra sweet and extra nice and do something touching for Matteo but she honestly comes up empty so she decides to start small.

That monday she gets to school earlier than usual to wait for Matteo, she has some cookies for the both of them and some coffee for him. She is determined to do this right. She is convinced the magic in the world is on the little things, the little acts of kindness and that’s how she is going to approach this week, she will focus on Matteo of course, on the things he likes, on what he wants to do, on whatever he might need but so far she doesn’t know much of that for this particular week, so she just brought him breakfast.

She is waiting inside of the blake, with an eye on the door and when he appears focused completely on his phone she approaches him carefully.

“Hello.” She says from his back making him jump a little but he hides his surprise and turns around smiling at her.

“Hi.” He says with a smirk. “Surprised to see you here this early I was actually about to text you to make sure you weren’t running late.”

She smiles a little at that, he always texts her on the mornings of school days to make sure she is on time, that she won’t end up running messy and hungry cause she skipped breakfast. It always makes warmth spread over her chest, it takes away the morning crankiness and it makes her feel so so special. He is probably not doing it on purpose but she thinks this is the how the sweet way of flirting is supposed to make the other person feel and she wants to make him feel so appreciated and light and soft as he makes her feel.

“Ámbar wanted to do something or other so I had to hurry today.” She tells him and he frowns.

“Did you have breakfast?” He asks right away and she rolls her eyes as she goe sto sit on one of the benches on the hallway.

“Yes, I did.” She tells him as he sits next to her. “Did you? Cause you skip breakfast quite a lot for someone who is always lecturing for not eating it.”

“I can stand the hunger much better than you, delivery girl.” He tells her. “Besides I always eat breakfast I just buy it here, that’s why I am so early.”

“Well, today you won’t have to spend your precious money.” Luna says happily and tries to take the thermos and the cookies in one swift move but ends up getting them stuck on her backpack and Matteo laughs. She pouts at him and he gives her this small smile she loves, just barely a lift of the corner of his lips but his brown eyes are soft and full of laughter.

“And why is that?” He says when he notices that she won’t say anything, she manages to take out the cookies first and then struggles with the thermos.

“Well, because I brought you breakfast.” She exclaims at him and his smile grows bigger as she hands the things  to him. “I have your favorite cookies and your coffee, the cookies are great, the coffee I hate so I wouldn’t know.”

“That’s very sweet of you.” He says emphasizing the word sweet and she rolls her eyes, she was hoping that he would miss this one at least, that she could give him a nice surprise that would be just that but well apparently she is not good enough at this.

“Just eat your cookies, Balsano.” She tells him elbowing him softly and he happily takes a bit of one of them, they stay in silence as he eats that one but when he gets the second one he breaks it in half and gives one to her.

“No, but thank you, really.” He says sincerely and she gives him a small shy smile, not finding his eyes even if they are looking for hers.

“I made the cookies.” She says nervously playing with her fingers. “Not this morning, of course, last night, maybe I should have made them this morning they would have been fresher and nicer and more deli-”

“Hey.” He stops her nervous fidgeting softly  resting his hand on hers. “They are perfect, never had better cookies.”

When she looks up at him she feels such a strong feeling of yearning on her chest that it physically hurts, it makes her throat close and breathing harder.

“Thanks.” Is all she manages to say cause her bravery is focused somewhere else, focused on the way she is tangling her fingers with Matteo’s.

He doesn’t pull away but her heart won’t stop beating like it wants to be heard by every single person on this school.

⭐

When she thinks of it she is brushing her teeth and she almost runs out of the bathroom with her toothbrush in her to do it but she makes herself be chill and finish brushing her teeth and go through her usual skin care routine before she runs to her room, more specifically to her phone.

As soon as she grabs it she jumps on bed and opens his contact decided to do this but as she types the words anxiety sets in. She has no idea why, it’s just a text, it���s not any weird and it’s not any over the top, it’s just normal text, very her. But it somehow feels like a serious deal, like she is doing something important and her hands get all sweaty and her heart all fast and she hates it. She reads it over:

Me:

Nightyyyy, I hope you have the sweetest dreams tonight and rest tons ofcc ily!!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖

She has written to him ily before damn she has even written about the exact same thing when they are texting until it’s late night and he sends her to sleep, but like this completely random and unprompted she just...It just feels different.

She takes a deep breath and hits send before quickly putting her phone on silence and locking it, she doesn’t really have the courage to see his answer she will see it tomorrow.

Day 2

Her alarm wakes and as soon as she remembers her text from last night her eyes shoot open and she goes to grab her phone. She struggles to turn down her damn alarm but as soon as she does she can see that she has a text from Matteo. She hesitates to open it for some reason but she does cause her curiosity is stronger than her unfunded fears.

Chico Fresa:

Thanks v much i hope you do too and have the best sleep possible 💖💖 see ya tomorrow ;) ily2

Its a good answer, it even has hearts and a winky face but there’s something about the casualness of it that makes her stomach drop, he doesn’t seem any surprised or touched or anything like that, which means she failed her mission probably. She sighs heavily and hides under her covers for a few seconds. She doesn’t see Matteo much on tuesdays, they are really busy days for him and her classes end before than his today, even before lunch so she has no idea what to do for him today that’s nice and sweet and that he likes mostly. She unlocks her phone and reads the words again, he is online so she fills herself with courage to do what comes next, no matter how simple it is.

Me:

Good morning chico fresa! I hope you had an amazing night

Now I need to go get ready or I will be late but i hope you have a great morning until we see each other later ;)

She is in no way, shape or form sure of any of the words on her screen but she really does need to go get ready and have breakfast if she doesn’t want to be later for school or have Ámbar leave with the car and without her. She feels her phone vibrate as she is putting on her school uniform but she ignores it. It’s easier that way.

Even if she is trying to be chill and calm she does run inside of the blake looking for Matteo and as soon as she seems him she jumps to hug him, not just out of anxiousness but because she feels like this too. He is talking to Ramiro who looks startled when she appears out of the nowhere hugging Matteo from behind but laughs as soon as Matteo jumps surprised.

“Hi to you too, delivery girl.” Matteo says laughing and Ramiro just vaguely gestures at her as a hi she smiles widely at him and so does he before Matteo maneuvers her and she ends up hugging his side and can’t see Ramiro anymore. She feels him kiss her hair and she hugs him tighter. She likes being like this with him.

“How are you?” She asks softly her voice muffled against his clothes.

“Besides the heart attack you almost just gave me?” He asks and she looks up at him with a small pout. “Pretty great right now.”

“Well I am sorry.” She says pretending to be sad and trying to disentangle herself from him but he doesn’t let her. “I didn’t think me hugging you would be a bad thing.”

“I never said that.” He says kinda offended and she keeps trying to pull away from him. “YOu just surprised me that’s all.”

“Now I feel like you are just trying to spare my feelings cause you don’t like me hugging you.” She says.

“Luna, please.” He says rolling his eyes and pulling her closer. “That’s ridiculous of course I like you hugging me.”

“Do you mean it or are you just saying?” She asks with the best puppy face she can muster and she can see how Matteo is struggling not to smile.

He is about to say something but Ramiro talks before.

“Well I can see when I am not needed in a situation.” He says amused and sends Matteo a look she can’t quite understand but Matteo doesn't seem happy about it. “ See you in class Balsano, have nice day Lunita.”

Luna looks at Matteo confused but he just shakes his head at her, he moves so he is hugging her too and having him so incredibly close to her is definitely not good for her heart, or herself control.

“How are you?” He asks softly after a few seconds. “How was your sleep?”

“It was pretty nice.” She says honestly. “How was yours?”

“Amazing.” He says with this lopsided smile that makes her stomach clench in a very pleasant way. “How could it have been not after that beautiful goodnight text you sent me?”

“You liked it?” She asks shy blushing softly and looking away from his eyes.

“Yeah, it was the perfect move.” He says clearing his throat and something on Luna’s chest feels heavy. She doesn’t have time to explore what it is cause the bell ring and she has to go to class so she gives him one last quick hug and runs to class with her heart on her throat for some unknown reason.

⭐

When she gets to the mansion she is still thinking of Matteo not that this is anything new, she spends a lot of her waking time thinking of him one way or another, a lot of her asleep time too but she rather not go too deep into that particular topic. The difference is that now she is thinking about how to do something that would make Matteo happy, she knows tuesdays are hard for him, they are a long day and he has some asshole teachers and he is always complaining about them so she wants to do something that will make him happy and she has one idea but that will have to wait until tomorrow and she needs something for today, something that will make him smile and relax and feel better.

She walks around the house and her room for a while until she gets a strike of genius and goes to grab her computer, this is serious work and she will do it well.

By the time she is done messing and tweaking and double checking everything it’s about the time Matteo should be finishing his last class so she decides there’s nothing else to do but to send him the link. She opens whatsapp web and copies it and she struggles for a few minutes what to say about it, after a while writing and rewriting she settles for something simple.

Me:

This songs remind me of you :p

And after the that the small image of a silly drawn strawberry with a playlist called To A Matteo appears. She had toyed with the idea of naming it something better, something deeper or more important or whatever but in the end she didn’t dare, so she just presses send and hopes that maybe this makes him smile just a little.

Day 3

As soon as she can she goes out running from the blake, the classes are over and Matteo surely is looking for her, she hasn’t done anything much today for him, nothing sweet or anything but she had been waiting for this moment the whole morning.

She walks as fast as she can and she feels her phone vibrate in her pocket but she doesn’t seeit until she is at the place she was headed to. It’s not far from the school so she had to be quick and she had to be careful to not be caught.

As expected is a text from Matteo asking her where she is and she quickly types to say that she had something to do and that she will see him on the roller later, he seems weirded but says that okay so she puts her phone back on her pocket and looks around the music store.

She doesn’t know that much about instruments or at least not about the technical aspects of them, it’s something that no matter how hard Simón tried to teach her she never quite managed to catch any of it and now she very hates that fact. She sees a store employee and approaches him with a small smile.

“Hi.” She says softly. “I am looking for strings for an acoustic guitar?”

“Any preference?” He asks and Luna scrambles her brain to remember what Matteo has said about guitar strings.

“Well, metal I mean steel strings.” She says blushing a little. “And not too thin but not too thick either cause he plays with his fingers a lot too, actually on the lighter side cause he really likes to do that.”

The sales guy is very considered with her lack of terminology and just takes her to the section of strings quickly explaining why some are better for some kinds of guitars or playing style depending on the material and gauge, whatever the hell that means, and she ends up picking some that look pretty much like the ones he has now and she hopes that they are good and that he will like them. When she goes to the register a pick catches her eyes, it’s black with small silver details on the edges, it’s slick and elegant. She gets that too.

⭐

She goes inside the Jam&Roller skipping instead of walking, she is honestly excited about the gifts and his reaction she sees him sitting on one of the tables and she takes advantage that he is not paying attention to the door to go quickly to the table and surprise him but he looks up before she can manage and the smile that he gives her makes her stomach do some sort of somersault.

He is obviously about to ask where has she been but before he can manage to do that she puts her small bag on the table in front of him. He recognizes the store she knows he does but besides that he seems completely lost and she is very happy about that.

“It’s for you.” She exclaims proudly.

“For me?” He asks sounding like she had just told him someone discovered a new law of gravity but he still grabs the bag and looks what’s inside.

She is bouncing on her tiptoes at the beginning but he takes so much time to say anything or give her any reaction but confusion that she starts getting anxious and the need to explain herself appears.

“You said a few weeks ago that you will have to change the strings on your guitar soon.” She starts rambling. “So I thought hey why not buy him some new ones but maybe I messed up, maybe they are not the kind you like, if they are not you can always go and change them of course it’s not like-”

“They are perfect, Luna.” He says and there’s something so warm, so earnest on his voice that fills her whole body with a pleasant, soft, happy and bubbly feeling. “Thanks very much, these are great, I love them.”

“I got you a guitar pick too.” She announces not  being able to keep the smile off her face and Matteo grins even bigger at her.

“I saw.” He says and the way he is looking at her make her lean in closer. “It’s very beautiful.”

She just nods at him, this bubbly feeling taking control of her throat and not letting her talk so she just sits and smiles back at Matteo who keeps staring at her. He seems happy but he also seems troubled somehow, or maybe she is reading too much on the situation. She takes a sip of his smoothie because she needs something to do and that’s seem to wake him up.

After that things are back to normal, they are teasing and playful and dorky as always but there’s just one small thing that is not right and she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t like not knowing what it is either

Day 4

The next day its weird, she wanted to have lunch with him, hang out a little with him buy him dessert or something but he is nowhere to be seen and when she texts him he tells her he is on the roller and she is surprised and confused because he still has one class left after lunch and matteo is not the kind to skip any class, she asks if he is okay and he says that’s perfect and he seems okay when she calls him, right before her classes start but there’s still something weird on the whole situation and she really doesn’t like it.

She is anxious until she gets to go to the roller and once she gets there the first thing she does is look for him, the longer she doesn’t find him the more her heart sinks and the more she is convinced that there’s something wrong, when she finds him on the bleachers of the rink she is convinced that something is indeed happening. He is just sitting there even if his skates are on and he is not even looking at anyone or drinking water or playing with his phone he is just looking down at his hands playing with his own fingers. She hurries to put on her skates and quickly finds herself in front of him.

“Hello, chico fresa.” She says dramatically and he looks up giving her a lopsided smile that doesn't reach his eyes, she takes both his hands and holds them between them. “What’s got you so down?”

“I am okay.” He says and she raises an eyebrow at him, a gesture she definitely picked up from him. “I am,” I swear!”

“Then why are you here looking like someone kicked a kitten in front of you.”

“You know very well I wouldn’t just be sitting if someone kicked a kitten in front of me.” He tells her and Luna rolls her eyes.

“Okay then whatever analogy works for you.” She mumbles. “But what happened? Why are you sad?”

“I am not, I tell you.” He insists and Luna sighs, staring at him, she can’t read his eyes or his expression beyond the fact that he is not happy and is quickly getting annoyed with her questioning.

“Okay you don’t have to tell me.” She gives up but pulls him to her trying to get him to stand up. “As long as you skate with me.”

“Luna…” He starts but she shakes her head and manages to make him stand up.

“No, Lunaaa.” She says imitating his tone. “Just please skate with me.”

She looks at him with a pout and he looks back, it’s not long before he sighs and she is squealing and dragging him to the rink.

She doesn’t know how he always manage to get her mood up by skating, it’s not like he does something special he just leads her around, makes her spin and laugh and feel as light as air, but she is afraid she can’t really do the same for him. She knows he likes skating, and she knows that he likes skating with her but she doubts he gets the same rush, she doubts his heart speeds up the same way, that her touch send shivers down his spine, that the way their hands fit together so perfectly makes him feel all warm inside, she doubts just the sound of her laugh can make him happy in ways he can’t even explain. But she can do her very best and she will try to make him feel just a little bit better.

Luna pulls him into the rink and then turns around smiling at him making him stumble and end up too close to her, it doesn’t really have the same effect as when he does it but he looks surprised still.

“Not as nice when they do it to you, is it?” She asks teasing and he rolls his eyes at her but there’s a little smile there that starts picking through the corner of his lips and she feels victorious with just that. She won’t rest at it though.

She giggles and pulls him, skating laps around the rink as fast as she can and telling Matteo to keep up with her. It’s weird feeling being the one who leads, being the one that makes him spin around, or makes them change direction, the one who pulls them into starting tricks and does the first jump, buts it’s nice, she likes it, and he seems to like it too. He relaxes and laughs softly and after a while he starts skating more normally, he picks her up, and pulls her too close when she spins, he mimics her moves and adds some of their own.

She has no idea how much time goes by until they are standing in the middle of the rink, both sweaty and tired and laughing at each other as he holds her close by the waist.

“Do you feel better?” She asks softly looking up at him,breathing fast.

“I do.” He says and she just nods and hugs him, she knows that whatever is making him feel bad is not completely gone but if she made him feel just a little bit better then she is happy.

Day 5

She doesn’t forget the fact that Matteo is not feeling his best for whatever reason so she decides that for the last day she is going to do something big, something important, something, nice, she doesn’t have enough time or money to do what she would like but she decides to take him to the National Museum Of Fine Arts that has lost of pretty paintings and is, luckily, free unlike the modern art one.

The food part is very much harder to manage, she considers doing a picnic but the museum closes pretty early and they won’t have more than a couple of hours after school for that and she can’t just carry food around and pretend it will surprise him. So she will have to buy him dinner, which is pretty much a hard thing cause he is very picky guy and he likes some expensive things sometimes but she manages to find a small restaurant that seems to have enough variety and is cheap enough that she can afford for both of them, they sell some good pizza that they can share and won’t hurt her wallet so much.

She spends all afternoon planning this so of course she gets to school very excited and Matteo notices.

“What’s up with you today?” He asks her amused and she just smiles not being able to keep herself from jumping on her toes as she shakes her head. “Come on you look like someone told you you won a crystal skate or something that can’t be nothing.”

“It’s nothing, really.” She says and Matteo just looks at her unbelieving. “Okay, it is something but I am not telling you what.”

“Why?” He asks with a pout and she flicks his nose softly.

“Because I don’t wanna.” She says sticking her tongue at him. “You will know soon, don’t worry.”

He wants to complain but the bell rings so she kisses his cheek and takes advantage of the moment to run away from his inquisitive eyes. It’s not a big thing, she knows it’s not but she is excited and she thinks he will like it.

He keeps asking her through the day and she just evades every question and gives hims silly answers until they are leaving the school she takes his hand saying that he will know soon but he needs to go with her.

He is confused but does it without problem, except he keeps asking all the bus ride where they are going. She is worried she is overhyping him, that he thinks it’s something bigger and important, but she knows Matteo likes this place and she knows he hasn’t had a chance to visit any of the new exhibitions so she hopes it’s at least a nice afternoon for him.

“I thought we would visit the museum today.”  She tells him when they are getting off the bus, the stop is not right in front of the museum, so they get to walk a little. She spends the short walk hoping that he won’t let go of her hand.

“Is that what got you so excited?” He asks incredulous when they are in entering the museum and she pouts a little, pulling away to take some of the pamphlets of the museum.

“I know it’s not an amazing thing or something super especial.” She says not looking at him and just walking into the museum.

“I really do, thanks.”She startles when he appears next to her and puts his arm around her shoulders, squeezing it a little. When she looks up he is smiling a soft, warm smile and his eyes are so incredibly gentle she can’t stand to look at them for long

They start walking as she looks down to her feet and he keeps her close at all times. She really hopes this learning how to flirt works for something cause she wants this. Always.

⭐

Honestly, she had thought the museum would be boring, she is not exactly the kinda girl that likes to walk around and see art pieces, no matter how pretty they are being quiet and slow is not something she generally excels at. Museums tend to make her restless, tend to not have enough to keep her senses occupied, she doesn’t like them for more than few minutes but Matteo makes it interesting. He tells her the history of the pieces he knows, comments on the ones he doesn’t and listen to all her weird occurrences and question and actually answers the ones he can and laughs softly along whatever she finds funny.

It’s nice and when they are leaving a closing time is dark and cold and she still doesn’t want to let him go any soon. She doesn’t let him say anything before she drags him to the small restaurant nearby laughing and saying it’s another surprise. She wants to be so light, so free, so close to him always and there’s something on her chest that tightens with yearning when she thinks of it but she sets herself to just enjoy this night.

“It’s so nice in here.” She says when they walk in and Matteo looks at her with reproval.

“You should have brought a jacket.” He says as they sit.

“I did!” Luna defends herself.

“It’s winter, Luna, you should have brought a better one.” He continues and he pouts. “I’m texting my dad’s driver so he take us home I’m not letting you walk around like this.”

“You sound just like my mother.” She pouts even more sinking on her seat and Matteo rolls his eyes but says nothing more.

After they have ordered and she is sipping on the tea he made her get he softly kicks her foot softly.

“Thanks for today, really.” He says softly. “It was a great day.”

“Are you feeling better?” She asks and Matteo blinks at her confused. “You were sad yesterday and even after we skated you were still a little sad so I wanted to cheer you up, did it work?”

Something passes through Matteo’s eyes, sharp, dark, sad and quick but before she can even fully process it it’s gone and the soft eyes of her Matteo, those sweet reassuring ones that make her knees go weak are there.

“It worked amazingly.” He says softly holding her hand over the table and playing idly with her fingers. “I am incredibly happy right now.”

“Me too.” She say with a sigh and intertwines their fingers. He probably has no idea just how much she means it, but it’s okay as long as she gets to say it.

[not-reddie]

Night Changes - chapter one.

Summary: On a subconscious level, Eddie has always been attracted to Richie Tozier. He was quite happy for life to go on with Richie blissfully unaware of the feelings he had towards him. But then everything changes when Richie goes away the summer before their senior year, and comes back looking hotter than Eddie ever thought possible. He’s not sure he can hide his feelings that well anymore. 

Word Count: 2.6k

[Chapter one] [Chapter three]

Eddie Kaspbrak spat out the remainder of his mouthwash into the sink, and used the back of his hand to wipe his mouth. He checked his reflection in the mirror one final time, standing on his tiptoes to get as close the mirror as he could, pulling at his skin with his hands to stretch it, searching for imperfections. He was disappointed to find that he had a small cluster of spots appearing on his forehead, red and irate, despite his diligent skincare routine.

Puberty, in Eddie’s opinion, had failed to be kind to him. His skin had always been clear as a child, but now it seemed that for every blackhead he managed to get rid of, at least three more appeared in its place. His voice was still in that awkward stage where it was cracking at unexpected moments and resulting in Eddie to make the most unusual sounds, mostly low rumbles that resemble donkey calls.

It had made him exceedingly self conscious, but the nail in the coughing for Eddie was that puberty had done very little to improve his height situation. He had only grown 2, maybe 3, inches, meaning that he had graduated from extra small child to petite woman height. The only thing Eddie had hoped to gain from puberty was the one thing that wasn’t granted to him.

He turned the bathroom light out and tiptoed down the hall to his bedroom, making sure to avoid the creaky pieces of floorboard because he didn’t want to wake his mom up, who he could hear snoring downstairs, drowning out the muffled voices of the people on the television.

He got into bed, pulling his duvet up halfway, only to his waist and then made sure to carefully tuck himself in. The summer heat still lingered in the air of his bedroom, and he flipped his pillow over so that he was lying on the cool side. He wiggled around a little, sighing in content when he had found the most comfortable sleeping position.

Closing his eyes, he waited for the exhaustion he had been feeling for the past hour to sweep him up and carry him away into a deep sleep. However, the longer he waited, the more any ounce of tiredness he had seemed to seep out of him and completely disappear. This was a regular occurrence for Eddie, so he shouldn’t really have been surprised; his mind liked to wait until he was relaxed and letting his guard down before it turned against him and filled with overwhelming, anxiety inducing thoughts, and there’s absolutely nothing he could do about it.

He kicked his duvet off in an angry huff and clasped his hands over his stomach, admitting defeat as he opened his eyes and stared into the pitch black at his ceiling, the swirly pattern of the plastering slowly coming into his view as his eyes adjusted to the darkness.

There was only a week of school left before they broke up for summer, and Eddie couldn’t wait. He had missed the long summer days where he no exams or homework or project deadlines to worry about, where he could spend his whole day lounging around at the quarry with the rest of the losers, eating ice cream and creating bonfires when it got dark, staying out late into the evening because it’s still warm out and it doesn’t get dark until really late. His mother is usually more lenient with him in summer, too, let’s him on a looser leash because she doesn’t have to worry about him getting a cold or more dramatically, being kidnapped in the darkness.

Eddie’s really excited to turn 18 in just a few short months, so he can legally be free and do what he wants, and not feel guilty for making his own decisions. Although he suspects that his mom will probably find a way to control him anyway, because if there’s one thing Sonia Kaspbrak is good at, it’s manipulation.

But of course, summer and becoming of age had their consequences. Summer meant that senior year was rapidly approaching, and then the future he had been thinking about since he was 13 would become a reality, and that was fucking scary. Eddie wasn’t fond of change, he quite liked routine and familiarity, and senior year meant that everything would change.

Senior year meant applying for colleges, and then all his friends would be leaving him and getting far, far away from this shitty town that they called home, because it’s all they seemed to talk about, moving away and never looking back.

It seemed that all of Eddie’s friends had a plan of where they wanted to go and what they would do after college. Even Richie, who just so happened to be the most impulsive and indecisive person Eddie had ever met in his life, had gotten his whole life planned. He wanted to go to LA and be an impressionist, or a radio host, or just something where he could talk and be heard for once.

But Eddie? He had no idea. He wanted to leave Derry as much as everybody else did, but it felt less realistic every time he thought about it. Could he really leave his mother behind? A big part of him wanted to, for everything she had put him through, all the lies and fake medication and manipulation. But Sonia Kaspbrak was all that Eddie had ever known, and he wasn’t sure he had the strength to ever break away from that. He knew that in her own twisted way, she really did love him, so thinking of leaving her behind twisted deep in his gut like a knife.

It was most likely that everybody would get out Derry, everybody but him. They would all go and be happy elsewhere and they would abandon him, leave him here all alone to suffer, because everybody else’s ties to derry are strings that are thin like wool and easy to cut, but Eddie’s ties are big metal chains that weigh him down and suffocate him.

He jerks his head a few times against his pillow, as if he’s trying to physically shake the thoughts away. He needs to think about something else, because his heart starts to beat a little too fast and his breathing becomes a little too heavy, and he feels the tell tale signs of a panic attack which for so many years he had mistaken as asthma, and he refused to use his inhaler. He still kept one in his fanny pack, because old habits die hard, but it had been a whole two months since he had stopped using it, and he’ll be damned if he has to start using it again now.

He thinks back to the start of his day, when Richie Tozier had quite annoying climbed through his bedroom window at 7am and crawled into bed with him. The dip of Richie’s weight had roused him from his deep slumber, and his eyes shot open in panic,but instantly calming when he saw that it was Richie. Eddie had felt a surge of annoyance when looked over at the clock on his nightstand and saw the time. His initial reaction had been to quietly whisper yell at the taller boy (God forbid his mother came in to check on him), but then he saw the expression on Richie’s face.

It was an expression that Eddie knew all too well. Richie’s face was set  hard, his jaw clenched tightly and his lips were pulled tight into a thin line. Richie looked furious and unbreakable on the outside, but it was the softness in his eyes that gave him away to how he was truly feeling. He was of course angry, but he was also hurt. Like, really hurt. Richie’s eyes showed so much vulnerability that it made his heart clench painfully.

Eddie had instantly known that Richie had gotten into another argument with his parents. Probably his dad, because his mom often drank herself into a coma and forgot that she had a son to begin with. His dad was a very impatient man with a short temper, which when added to Richie’s ADHD and inability to keep his mouth shut, made for a very explosive outcome. Sometimes it had gotten so bad that his dad would resort to violence and punch him, and Richie would always come straight to Eddie’s so that he could vent and cry whilst Eddie very carefully patched him up. Richie liked to come across like he didn’t care, which was why he was so loud and obnoxious and made so many crude jokes. Everybody knows that Richie is the way he is to hide how much he’s broken on the inside, and Richie knows that they know, but Eddie’s pretty positive that Richie only let’s Eddie see him cry. It shouldn’t make him feel good, but it does.

So when Richie had slowly turned to look at Eddie, eyes brimming with unshed tears, Eddie had snapped his mouth shut and wiggled backwards, moving closer to the wall to give Richie some space and silently inviting him to come and lie down with him. Richie gave him a watery smile, and Eddie felt his heart shatter into a thousand pieces. A few tears escaped down Richie’s cheeks, and Eddie watched as he harshly wiped them away, his nose and cheeks slightly red. In that moment, Richie looked beautiful. Eddie cursed himself for thinking it, because Richie was hurting, and he knew it wasn’t an appropriate time to be thinking about stuff like that, but he just couldn’t help it. Eddie opened his arms up invitingly, and Richie instantly accepted, cuddling up to Eddie and burying his face into his chest.

They spent the next few hours in that exact same position, and Eddie’s body had gone completely numb in a way that felt uncomfortable, but he continued to lie there, unmoving, soothingly running his hands through Richie’s hair - (extra gently though, because for some reason Richie got really jerky and flustered whenever Eddie accidentally tugged it, and although Richie never explained why, Eddie just assumed that he didn’t like it) - as Richie snoozed, and when he woke up, he gave Eddie a rare smile that was so warm and fond that it had made every second of uncomfortable numbness completely worth it, and Eddie would do it again a thousand times if it meant Richie would smile at him like that.

Eddie had realised that he was gay when he was 14 years old. Bill had been invited to a Halloween party by a girl in his science class who thought he was cute, and Bill had taken it upon himself to invite the rest of the losers club. Everybody jumped at the chance to go out and really excited to go, except for Eddie. Well, maybe Stan too. Stan didn’t want to go because he hated large crowds and he found socialising outside of his friend group extremely uncomfortable, but all it had taken for him to agree to go was everybody promising him that they wouldn’t leave his side the whole night, and they would make sure that he didn’t have to talk to anybody that he didn’t want to.

Eddie remembered dreading the party, because it was going to be crawling with germs and everything that the sweaty teenagers around him touched was going to be highly unsanitary, and he was convinced he was going to contract some sort of disease from just looking at the mess that was being created. He had only agreed because Richie had begged him constantly, telling Eddie that it wouldn’t be any fun without him, and quite frankly Richie’s whining was getting really annoying. So he had huffed out a “fine” and tried not to think about the way his heart had rapidly sped up when Richie had grinned at him in delight and promised him a good time whilst winking at him.

At some point, somebody had yelled “let’s play spin the bottle!” and the whole room had erupted in cheers, helping to move the furniture so that they all had enough space to sit in a large circle on the floor.

Eddie had been very seriously considering sitting this one out, because he’d never kissed anybody properly before, not really, he didn’t actually count the time Amelia Arnolds had struck her tongue down his throat the year before.

He had only dated her for a week, and he was lucky enough to find a girl willing to date him who was not only nice but really pretty, but he just didn’t find himself interested in her romantically. Which is why he wasn’t exactly heartbroken when she had broken up with him. In fact, he remembered feeling almost relieved, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

Before he could even open his mouth to protest, Richie had appeared from seemingly nowhere and wrapped a lanky arm around his shoulders, steering Eddie towards where the group of teenagers were forming.

“Stop looking so worried Eds! It’s only kissing!” Richie had laughed, practically pushing Eddie to the floor before taking a spot next to him. Eddie hoped that Richie hadn’t seen the red tinge on his cheeks, but if Richie had saw it, he didn’t say anything. The way Richie had talked about kissing so casually, as if it were child’s play, had made Eddie keep his mouth firmly closed, as he didn’t want to admit he had little to no experience kissing.

He wasn’t expecting some sort of magical fairy tale first kiss, but he was at least hoping that he would actually get to choose who it was going to be with. Any hope of getting out of playing was long gone, so all he could do was cross his fingers tightly and silently pray that the bottle never landed on him.

For a while, he had naively believed that his prayers were being answered. Half hour into the game, nothing had happened. A few people had gotten bored and wandered off to get a drink and chat amongst themselves, and Eddie had been debating on joining them, but Richie had gotten a tight clutch on his hand, as if to silently say “you’re not going anywhere.”

During that first half an hour, Eddie watched on as the bottle had landed on Beverly, Mike and Bill. Each had had to kiss people that Eddie could no longer remember the name of, but he had remembered the way they leaned straight into it without hesitation, not really seeming bothered by having to kiss strangers. Eddie had envied them, wishing that he could careless too.

He had been so lost in his thoughts that he had even realised the bottle had landed on him, and he was pulled back into reality by Richie harshly digging his elbow into his side. He turned to glare at Richie but his expression quickly turned to horror when he looked down to realise where the bottle was pointing.

Panic clawed at his chest as he frantically looked around the circle to see who he would be kissing. He had hoped for a sweet girl who hopefully had little to no experience like he had, so he could quickly crawl into the middle, give her a fleeting peck and be done with it.

But oh no. The universe didn’t like Eddie Kaspbrak. It wasn’t a nice, quiet girl who had as much interest in kissing Eddie that Eddie did in kissing her. It wasn’t even a girl. Looking back at Eddie with the same expression of horror was a boy called Marc Davies, from his English class. Eddie felt his face pale and his heart sunk right into the pit of his stomach. 

His first proper kiss was going to be with a boy?

author’s note: hi everybody! this is my first Reddie fic, and I hope you enjoy it! I believe the prompt from this story comes from a post that @richietoaster created, I‘m not 100% sure though so I apologise if I’m wrong! 

Tag list: @temptedtozier @smol-and-annoying (I know you didn’t ask for a tag but you wanted me to do it so I thought you should see it) @loving-teenage-fandoms

[emmerrr]

I asked for trc and tfc prompts and @midtempohands said: maybe something about ronan and adam planning out their future post-college and ronan having a healthy perspective about the barns being his home but not a place he needs to be tied to emotionally forever?

This was super fun to write thank you, and I hope you like it! <3 I’m gonna put it under a read more ‘cause it got a little long. I want to cross-post it to ao3 because my theme is probably not the easiest to read fic on but I don’t know what to call it. someone name it for me and I’ll put it on ao3 too haha.

(also if anyone else wants to, feel free to direct a prompt to my ask box! doesn’t have to be shippy!)

The summer before Adam’s final year at college somehow manages to feel both shorter and longer than all the summers that have come before it. Shorter because Adam picks up a lot more hours at Boyd’s than he usually does making it almost feel like he hasn’t come back at all. Longer for pretty much the exact same reason; Ronan still feels like he’s waiting for Adam to come home, the time they snatch in between the working hours blissful and yet never enough.

Adam’s plan is to save as much money away as possible so that he can drop one of the part-time jobs he has at college when he goes back and devote the extra time to his studies and internship applications, in preparation for his post-graduation future.

Ronan broods about the loss of time. But he does it quietly, when Adam’s at work and not there to witness it. He’s driving Opal up the wall.

He’s half-tempted to just transfer all of the money Adam would need for the year into his account, but he knows it would just cause a row of colossal proportions. Ronan and Adam fight nowhere near as much as they used to, but whenever they do, it is almost always about money.

The problem being, of course, that Ronan’s always had it. He’s flippant about it in a way that Adam’s never been able to be. He doesn’t feel guilty about it because it’s a waste of time; he can’t help it any more than Adam can, and Adam doesn’t want his guilt anyway. He just wants Ronan to try and understand, and that? That Ronan can do.

He knows how Adam works. He has always known.

Adam’s extended absences during the summer, especially given the reasons for them, mean Ronan has plenty of time to think about the future. Adam being at college, whilst at times been so heart-wrenchingly difficult, has also allowed a certain amount of routine. Not that Ronan’s ever particularly cared for routines, but it’s not to say he can’t get used to them, and he had got used to Adam’s. He knew all of Adam’s college dates, knew when he had time off, knew when he’d be home, or when Ronan could go and visit. And these dates fell at almost the exact same time every year.

Once Adam has graduated, however, all of that goes out the window. It’ll be an unknown for both of them; something new to navigate, especially if Ronan remains at the Barns. It’ll mean even less time to see each other, and Ronan is tired. So fucking tired of long distance. Missing people is exhausting, not to mention it seems pointless if there’s something he can actually do about it.

This is what he’s been thinking about on Adam’s last day of summer vacation. A day that Adam spends the majority of at Boyd’s, annoyingly enough. He wasn’t originally going to work it but Boyd called last minute having been let down by not one but two other members of staff, desperate enough that he said he’d pay Adam double overtime rates. An offer too good to refuse.

“Don’t pout, I’ll be back in time for dinner,” Adam had said on his way out of the door.

“Fuck off, Parrish,” Ronan had replied pleasantly.

It’s an overcast day, the humidity making it feel muggy and uncomfortable as Ronan goes about his day. He gets a lot done; he mows the lawn outside the farmhouse that leads down to the first of the fields, sees to the vegetable and fruit patches he has growing, cleans out half of one of the barns, and tidies up the entire house (with the exception of his own bedroom, which is currently a mess as Adam’s been in the process of packing and the sight is a stark reminder that he’ll be gone again soon). Opal disappeared sometime in the morning and hasn’t reappeared yet. Ronan’s not concerned; she often takes herself off to wander about the place, treasure hunting or tormenting Chainsaw. She always comes back again, usually completely filthy and having exhausted herself with her day’s activities.

Ronan’s making spaghetti bolognese when Adam gets back from work. The side door that enters into the kitchen swings closed and Adam lets out an exhausted sigh.

“That smells amazing,” he says, hooking his chin over Ronan’s shoulder and pressing a kiss into his cheek.

“It’s just spaghetti,” Ronan replies, rolling his eyes, but he’s pleased and Adam can tell. He nuzzles into Ronan’s neck for a moment and then retreats to the kitchen table, sitting down with a groan like it’s the hardest thing he’s done all day.

Ronan looks around at him and Adam smiles at the attention. “Long day,” he explains. “It’s nice to sit down.” He turns his good ear towards the door that leads off towards the rest of the house and listens for a few seconds, then turns back to Ronan. “Where’s Opal?”

“Your guess is a good as mine,” Ronan says wryly. “Terrorising the local wildlife no doubt.”

Adam snorts; the corner of his eyes crinkles in amusement and Ronan is undone. He checks to make sure his pasta isn’t bubbling over, and when he’s satisfied that nothing on the hob needs his immediate attention, he sits down opposite Adam. “Listen, Adam, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Adam raises both eyebrows. “Is this going to be as ominous as it sounds?”

Ronan scowls. “Fuck off, no, it’s not ominous.”

Adam’s expression turns serious. “What is it?”

Ronan’s not good with words. Not even after all this time; he’d still rather let his actions do all the talking for him. But he’s also an adult now, and he’s learned that there’s some things that really do need to be said out loud.

“It’s just that — it’s your last year now. And when it’s over you’ll be graduating and you’ll get an internship in a city somewhere, and your structure won’t be like it is now. And I guess I was wondering where you want me to. . . to fit in with all of that?”

Adam frowns now, proper confusion spreading across his face. “Ronan, what do you mean?”

Ronan huffs in exasperation and wishes, for one fleeting second, that he was as eloquent as Gansey. “I mean do you want to keep doing what we’re doing now? Seeing each other every so often except maybe even less than before? Or do you want me to come with you?”

Adam goes stock still, eyes widening a fraction. Slowly, he rests his forearms on the table in front of him, clasping his hands together. When he speaks, it’s even-toned, the words picked carefully. “I wasn’t aware that second point was an option.”

Ronan narrows his eyes. “Of course it’s a fucking option.”

Adam smiles, quick-silver. “You’d come with me? Really?” It’s like he can hardly dare to hope, and it settles Ronan’s resolve.

“You know I would,” he says. “If you really think about it, you fuckin’ know I would.”

“But Ronan, this place, the Barns. . . it’s your home.”

Ronan shrugs. “Yeah, it is. It’ll always be my home. But honestly, it feels less like home when you’re not here,” he admits. It’s a pretty sappy thing to say, and Ronan has been known to let a few sappy things slip when it comes to Adam, but still. He has a reputation.

Adam grins wider, then looks around the room. “You wouldn’t sell it, would you?”

Ronan thinks about it for a minute, but the idea of someone else calling the Barns home unsettles him. Just thinking about another family making memories here makes his skin crawl. The Barns is a place of dreamers and dreams, and as such it should remain the property of dreamers and dreams. “No,” he says. “It’s — fuck, it’s part of my heart, you know? I could never sell it.”

“Good,” Adam says quickly. “That’s good. You shouldn’t. That way we’ve always got it to come back to, if and when we want. And you could split your time if there were things you needed to do here that you couldn’t do wherever I am. . .” he trails off and bites his lip, clearly lost in thought as he considers the logistics, but that’s okay. This is good; it finally feels like they’re planning for their future instead of planning separately and just hoping for the best. Communication is still such a tricky thing, but look at them now?

Adam meets Ronan’s eyes again. “Are we really doing this then, Ronan? Are you going to come and live with me properly, wherever I end up after graduation?”

“Adam,” Ronan says, and he reaches across the table and twines his fingers with Adam’s. “I want a life with you, and that doesn’t really work if I never get to see you. So, yeah. I’m gonna come and live with you, as long as that’s what you want.”

Adam smiles again, laughs breathlessly like he can’t quite believe it, then lifts Ronan’s hand to his mouth and kisses his knuckles — a move he learned from Ronan. “Yes, Ronan. That’s what I want,” he says.

A stillness settles inside Ronan, calm finally flooding through his veins after a day of feeling unsteady and unsure. Adam is still leaving tomorrow, then there’s still almost a year to go to sort out everything that would need to be sorted out. They don’t know where they’ll be yet, there’s Opal to consider, and all sorts of other niggling grown-up responsibilities that no doubt will need to be taken care of.

But the important thing is, they’ll be together.

“Lynch,” Adam says, and there’s a sparkle in his eyes.

“Yes, Parrish?”

“Your spaghetti water is bubbling over.”

[bforbookslut]

Sasha Alsberg and Lindsay Cummings’ Zenith Is a Space Adventure With a Familiar Story and Tropes

I have given Zenith by Sasha Alsberg and Lindsay Cummings a ☆☆☆ rating. It is Book 1 of The Androma Saga series. It is Young Adult Science Fiction with some Space Opera and Romance. Harlequin Teen publishes it. It will be published January 16, 2018.

The synopsis reads:

Most know Androma Racella as the Bloody Baroness, a powerful mercenary whose reign of terror stretches across the Mirabel Galaxy. To those aboard her glass starship, Marauder, however, she's just Andi, their friend and fearless leader. But when a routine mission goes awry, the Marauder's all-girl crew is tested as they find themselves in a treacherous situation and at the mercy of a sadistic bounty hunter from Andi's past. Meanwhile, across the galaxy, a ruthless ruler waits in the shadows of the planet Xen Ptera, biding her time to exact revenge for the destruction of her people. The pieces of her deadly plan are about to fall into place, unleashing a plot that will tear Mirabel in two. Andi and her crew embark on a dangerous, soul-testing journey that could restore order to their shipor just as easily start a war that will devour worlds. As the Marauder hurtles toward the unknown, and Mirabel hangs in the balance, the only certainty is that in a galaxy run on lies and illusion, no one can be trusted.

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I haven’t been this early for a review in a really long time but I was super excited to read Zenith ever since I received it. I’ve always loved space stories because if I wasn’t a writer, I’d love to be an astronaut. Or marine biologist. Or historian. Maybe librarian. You get the gist, I love to be a lot of things.

But, you’re in for a wild ride with Zenith. You either love it or hate it.

I haven’t written a review this long in a while so bear with me.

As always, my reviews may contain spoilers. I say may because what’s a spoiler to you may not be a spoiler for me.

Oh boy, is this a difficult one for me to review. My review process is this: I finish a book, I sit on it for a few days and then head over to Goodreads to get a refresher. Usually, it’s a good thing because it reminds me of things I want to mention but have forgotten. But with Zenith, it opened a massive can of worms I wish I had never seen.

Initially, Zenith was going to be one of my 4-star rating books. It turns out, I’m the perfect audience for it. I love damaged and fucked-up characters falling in love and I love all the drama. I went into Zenith expecting a soap opera/drama and I got it.

But after reading Goodreads and learning all I can about the background of this book, it’s dropped to a 3-stars. I don’t hate it. Zenith is not a bad book but it’s not good either. Did it blow me away? No. But, hell it was entertaining.

So, this review will be different than normal and split into 2 parts: first impressions and after goodreads.

F I R S T  I M P R E S S I O N S

I have never read a space opera before. I even had to Google what the genre is all about. And I loved what I found. As you probably know, I am a massive fan of Defy the Stars by Claudia Gray and until another mindblowing book comes along, that’s what I recommend whenever anyone asks me. And I expected Zenith to be something similar but more, for lack of a better term, extra.

And I loved it. I couldn’t put it down. It kept me up late at night and my eyes are probably rotten because I keep reading in the dark. I didn’t even realise it was 500 pages (cause my Kindle app doesn’t tell me so). It was dark and it was sensual, the writing clichés which some people might not like, were lyrical and poetic. The imagery spun was stunning.

Plot-wise, Zenith went in a multitude of directions. There’s the Androma, Dex and the Marauders plotline where the former two have to rescue the king’s prisoner son in the treacherous lands of Lord-I-can’t-remember (I’m not good with names here. I can’t even name you anything in Maas’s books because I never remember), but basically, they’re the bad guys. And then there’s the flashbacks (??!!) which are confusing but I just rolled with it. And then, there’s the evil queen of the bad lands who isn’t all that bad (or at least that’s what they want us to think) who wants revenge on the entire solar system for fucking up her kingdom and her parents’ lives and her life.

The Androma, Dex and Marauders line is resolved and then some. But the others just leave big question marks hanging in the air. But then again, Order of the Firsts, guys. It’s always like this because publishers want you coming back for more cause all they care about is the money.

Plus, they are all told in different POVs which can get confusing but it wasn’t a hard switch. It’s such a way of writing in YA that I’m used to it. I wish we could still get by on one voice only. I miss those damned days.

But to me, the characters make a story and I loved the Bloody Baroness. She’s dramatic and always very weepy and conflicted but oh, she’s so attracted to Dex. Let it just be clear that she’s very much like a copy of Celaena/Aelin but without the latter’s depth. She’s got death following her and her crew of pirates wherever they go and she’s torn up about it. Some people have an issue with the fact that she’s called something so vicious but is just a kicked puppy. But come on, this is a trope we’ve all seen before. Move along, shall we?

But, I did find it a little strange that although she hates killing, she kills everyone left, right and center in the name of protecting herself and her crew. Plus, she’s a fugitive.

Really weird and conflicting but at this point, I’m still rolling with it.

Dex is an arrogant prick. And while it’s my favourite trope when it comes to YA heroes, they usually come with some redeeming qualities. Dex has none. In fact, I’d say that I didn’t like Dex at all. He’s the perfect example of how not to write a YA hero.

And, the romance between Androma and Dex seemed incredibly forced. No chemistry. Just loads of trying-really-hard-to-create-UST.

The rest of the characters in Zenith sort of fade into the background. There are the Marauders which are very Six of Crows-esque, and the evil queen, Nor and there’s Valen, the prince they’re supposed to rescue. And a robot named Alfie that reminds me of Defy the Stars.

While Zenith attempts to fashion a unique space world, it feels too much like Guardians of the Galaxy and that bothered me about the worldbuilding. It didn’t feel utterly unique (unlike Defy the Stars. You can’t stop my love) and the entire time, all I could imagine was Peter Quill’s ship flying across the Guardians of the Galaxy space ala the movies. While there are references to unique “alien” features for example, in the pilot, Lira who has scaly skin that can heat until it burns her clothes off and it’s controlled by her emotions, nothing is taken a step further and explained.

And space opera and science-fiction are known for being detail-oriented.

But I still loved it. In all it’s campy, trying really hard glory. I thought it was a great first attempt and couldn’t wait for me.

A F T E R  G O O D R E A D S

And then, I looked at Goodreads.

I was confused by all the awful ratings. And it spiralled from there.

It turns out Sasha Alsberg is a notoriously famous booktuber (I wouldn’t know. I don’t booktube) and people are concerned that this book being published is because of her connections to the higher ups.

But more than that, the editor tied to Zenith is notorious for having published The Black Witch. Which is a plague on the YA community. I don’t understand how….how could anyone have let that racist crap slide.

And it was only after this that I realised what I had thought to be extra, dramatic and campy writing ala soap opera style was just bad writing. In fact, one reason why I loved the writing so much was because it’s the same time of exaggerated and flowery writing that fanfiction writers love (and readers like me eat it up).

Plus, it tried too hard to replicate the success of Throne of Glass and Six of Crows, perhaps in the hope of becoming the next big thing. It’s basically fanfiction set in space, guys. While I am the type of market this book is targeted towards, meaning that I love my tropes, it’s just laughable. There are tons of books out there like TOG and SOC but they’re all unique in their own way. I’ve even managed to reference Defy the Stars more than once!

Not to mention, Androma has red.hair. Who else has fiery red hair? You tell me. Hint, I’ve mentioned the name several times in this review. Not a fan of self-inserts.

Also, I am not a fan of celebrity books and have yet to purchase/read one. While other writers struggle and work their butts off to even get noticed, celebrities get special treatment because they already have a fan base in place.

While I am still looking forward to see where both authors are going to take Zenith, I wait with all these thoughts in my mind. In film classes, we are taught that the author is not separate from his work (and I did a lovely paper on Alfred Hitchcock which I loved) and it’s true in this case.

I’m afraid that Sasha’s reputation has coloured not just my opinion, but the opinion of many other readers out there.

While Zenith is not bad, it’s not great either. I can’t shout about it from the rooftops. For one, it reads too much like fanfiction (and we all know the kind of fanfiction turn book that has hit the market these days) and secondly, it needs a shitload more work before it’s public-worthy. Zenith has great potential. It just needs a lot more polishing, preferably throwing the entire draft away and writing it fresh. And perhaps, Sasha should consider a pen name.

Thank you to Edelweiss and the publisher for providing me with an ARC copy in exchange for an honest review. This review edition may differ from the final edition.