#how im too disabled to work and thus became homeless at age 21 over a decade ago

[horce-divorce]

if you want to be a good ally to ANY oppressed group- and really if you want to be a good friend tbqfh- you HAVE to allow other people the dignity of their own truth. you have to believe them, you have to defer to them about their own experiences.

you have GOT to stop thinking that you know better than others based on nothing more than conjecture and observation, when other people have lived experience that you do not.

you have GOT. TO STOP. MAKING. ASSUMPTIONS.

you have GOT to be comfortable NOT BEING AN AUTHORITY ABOUT EVERYTHING. you have GOT to be comfortable BEING WRONG sometimes or you will never get to learn new things!!!!

being supportive is about more than just saying 'I want better for you.' you have to DO better for them.

and if you aren't comfortable with that, then i'm sorry, but you aren't comfortable being an ally, and you probably aren't a very good friend to boot. friends need you to validate their experiences and to commiserate with. if all you're going to do is doubt and invalidate and rewrite their narrative then WHO are you friends with.

similarly. if you cannot defer to Palestinians, to Black people, to immigrants, to trans people, to the disabled, or to anyone else about our fears and experiences... then WHO are you trying to be an ally to? because it isn't the people in front of you. and like, how, exactly, are you being an ally, because telling me I need to take personal responsibility for my oppression is not fucking helpful.