#how have i managed to pretend to be an actualfactual adult for so goddamn long

[ninjamonkeyqueen]

Today’s ADHD looks Like:

Pick up some dirty clothes, to do a load of laundry. Hold dirty clothes in hand. Forget holding clothes. Do other tidying things in kitchen because I have somehow found myself in the kitchen, tho I do not know why, with the vague idea of tidying as my goal, not sure what I was going to actually do, while YES, STILL HOLDING DIRTY CLOTHES IN MY HAND.

Finally remember I was going to do laundry. 

Forget what I was doing a few more times, getting distracted, vaguely tidying things around me as I walk through the house, unsure of what I’m doing, WHILE STILL HOLDING CLOTHES IN HAND.

Finally notice clothes. Realize that means I was gonna Do Laundry? Maybe?

Start chanting Do Laundry over and over and over under my breath like a goddamn fucking idiot because Survey Says I WILL FUCKING FORGET if I don’t.

Get distracted by thoughts about how I’m such a fucking idiot that I can’t do a simple task without a fucking Gregorian Chant as backup. Promptly Forget What I Was Fucking Doing. Get to top of stairs confused, head into bedroom with vague sense of Needing To Tidy. STILL HOLDING THE GODDAMN CLOTHES.

Realize I needed to do laundry. Go to open hamper.

Get caught confused for a moment because I cannot hold open hamper and pull clothes out of it, but this seems like a task that I should be able to do because it would only require two hands and I do, in fact, have 2 hands, so why can I NOT do this? Why am I only using one hand?

BECAUSE I’M STILL HOLDING FUCKING CLOTHES IN THE OTHER HAND, IDIOT.

Go put clothes in washer. Go back get more clothes. Again chanting Whole GODDAMN Time “do laundry” in a loop in my head to Not Forget AGAIN. Again feel like a fucking total idiot because I have to literally constantly tell myself What To Do or I Will Forget because I’m a Fucking 45yr old Moron.

Finally finish getting clothes in washer. Detergent added and machine started and closed without incident. Hooray.

Spend rest of day still looping Do Laundry in my fucking head even though the task is, in fact, Done. Because now it’s Just In There and Will Never Leave and That’s That.

Yay.