#how everything around the edges makes Brim miserable in one way or another

[faytelumos]

Brimstone

[lubdubsworld]

物の哀れ ( ‘the sadness of things’.)

Alpha Jungkook x Omega Oc!

Genre : Angst , Hurt/ Comfort.

    Chapter 1  ⋆  Chapter 2  ⋆  Chapter 3     Chapter 4  ⋆  Chapter 5   ⋆   

    Chapter 6   Chapter 7     Chapter 8

Summary : Nine months after her marriage ends, Kim Heejin is a reclusive artist, who works out of a renovated warehouse in Busan, her days and nights spent with canvas and paint. Its exactly what she’s ever wanted, to be left alone. And yet, that nagging feeling of incompletion keeps her on her toes. And perhaps, it is that longing for something substantial, something real that pushes her to give her flawed but lovable ex-husband another chance.

Chapter 9

 “I… No. Just… please tell him I’ll be down…I’ll come down to the lobby to meet him.” I said quickly, panicking at the idea of having him here. I’d barely been here a day but this was still my space. And if I had him here then his scent would just seep into every nook and corner. 

The room would smell like him then… And what would I do after he left?

God, what was I even thinking? Head swimming, I crawled to the edge of the bed and breathed shakily. 

It felt surreal, climbing out of the bed and moving to the vanity . I stared at myself in the mirror as I grabbed the makeup bag I kept with me all the time. Wide eyes and parted lips, creamy gold skin turning lily white because of how the blood had just drained after that phone call. 

I looked petrified .

Jungkook… I thought numbly. Jungkook’s waiting downstairs and I’m going to see him. 

What is he thinking.... What is he feeling... why is he even here? 

You’re not responsible for his emotions, Taehyung’s soothing voice in my head helped a bit but not a whole lot. What about my emotions, I though desperately, grabbing the tube of gloss and slowly uncapping it. I ran the end of it over my lips and felt my fingers tremble because I didn’t know why I felt this need …to look beautiful.

I didn’t need to, I though miserably. Everyone knew omegas were beautiful. Beta supermodels were beautiful yes but they couldn’t hold a candle to me, at least for someone like  Jungkook. He was an alpha, his brain was built to find me attractive. I had evolutionary genetics on my side, which mean that if I ever actually wanted to seduce Jungkook , he wouldn’t really stand a chance .

But I didn’t want that.

I had had enough of that. Enough of seeing handsome, rich alphas being reluctantly attracted to me. They made it obvious too. Most of the hate mail I got stemmed from angry wives or girlfriends accusing me of seducing their men , even though  I’d never so much as laid my eyes on them. It was so unfair. 

I didn’t enjoy watching them lose their minds at the sight and scent of me, because i knew that deep down,  they thought that all omegas were scum. 

Manipulative, sex driven , greedy and selfish . Those were the labels I got plastered with , on the media and on the streets. 

And Jungkook wasn’t different, I reminded myself firmly, pulling away from the mirror and grabbing the loose powder and dusting down some of it on the apple of my cheeks and down the length of my nose. 

He didn’t think any different than the others. Jungkook’s views on omegas were just as archaic and bigoted as everyone else’s .

He just didn’t act on them .

Sighing, I dropped the lipgloss back in the back and brushed my hair off my face. On a whim , I pulled off the hair tie holding the thick strands together, letting the wavy tresses fall over my shoulder. I hadn’t cut my hair in a long time and it felt to my hips now. My stylist was adamant that it added to my aesthetic.

  A primal siren, she had said staring at me in awe, like something eternal and beautifully dangerous. We’re lucky you seem incapable of hate, Heejin ...because I think you could bring grown men to their knees with that body and that face. 

I felt nauseous at the thought of it.   

Walking to the elevator felt like walking the plank and I had stop a couple of times, just to breathe deeply. I had to be smart about this. I was in therapy. Taehyung had taught me how to handle situations like this and while my heart was pounding too hard and my brain was too scrambled to use any of his therapy techniques, I still had some of my cognitive abilities intact. 

He came here, i thought desperately. 

He came looking for you and that means he isn’t nervous or worried or overthinking this because he doesn’t have feelings for you. If you want to come out of this  unscathed, you need to get your head on straight. You need to pretend that you didn’t just have a minor mental breakdown at the thought of him dating someone else. 

I took a deep breath, exhaling sharply before stepping into the elevator. The ride down to the lobby was barely a few seconds and when I stepped out, I realized the place was way too crowded for such an exclusive Hotel. And then I remembered that people were here for the Art Festival. I glanced at the reception desk, covertly, noting a conspicuous lack of Jeon Jungkook. The lady behind the desk held her hand up when she spotted me .

“Ms. Kim? Mr. Jeon just went to get you a drink...He’s over by the breakfast counter over there.” She pointed out the dining space where people were walking about getting breakfast and I swallowed, feeling hot and cold as I cautiously stepped into the crowd, trying to find a that familiar head of thick dark hair. 

I felt the apprehension build as I tugged on my bottom lip between my teeth, trying to reign in the chaos in my mind but it was impossible, everything too loud and too messy. I looked around and then, it hit me. 

His scent. 

I felt my lips part in surprise, and it felt like someone had turned the volume down , noises fading into a dull hum at the back of my mind as I stared at him. He hadn’t spotted me yet and I took a second to just....look.

He looked incredible.

There was really no other word for it. Incredibly handsome, Incredibly beautiful and so incredibly perfect as the late morning sun lit up the room, picking out the shine on his white silk shirt. I breathed in deep, my mindeasily picking out the musky pine scent of him and I stepped closer, moving straight towards him and I caught the exact moment my scent his senses.

He jerked a bit, nostrils flaring and eyes going wide before he turned, lips parted and gaze a bit unfocused as he looked around.

When he caught sight of me, he just blinked. 

I smiled weakly, body going limp with relief because.... because this was Jungkook. Not some monster I had to run from. This was Jungkook....even at his worst he had been better than some of the other people I’d met in life. 

I looked down at the drink in his hand and smiled a bit as he made his way over. 

“ This isn’t the same as buying me a coffee.” I said shakily as he finally stepped upto me.

His eyes danced with warmth. 

“What makes you think I can afford one? Besides, aren’t you the hotshot artist? Shouldn’t you be the one buying me stuff?” He said softly. 

“Just saw you on the front cover of a magazine. We both know you’re far from destitute..” Even through the smile, I felt the tug of emotion as I stared at him, felt the difference in him like night and day, the light and joy and ...contentment that seemed to radiate off him .

He smiled and held the drink out to me gently.

“ Heejin-ah.” He whispered. 

And somehow it was the sound of his voice, wrapping around the syllables of my name that finally did it. 

I felt the tears brim over, my lips parting in choked laughter as I stepped close and wrapped both my arms around him, burying my face in his neck and breathing him in. I felt him hold me, infinitely gentle and I exhaled sharply.

“I didn’t miss you,  at all.” I said shakily. He laughed lightly. 

“I missed you , too.” He stroked the back of my head gently and I sighed, fingers curling on the silk of his shirt. The fabric felt like liquid in my fingers and I played with it for a second, intensely aware that people were starting to stare. That this embrace had gone on for longer than social norms dictated but I couldn’t bring myself to care, letting my chin rest against his shoulder blades. 

And it was almost frightening.....how easy it was to pretend we weren’t broken at all. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“She was so small when I last held her... I can’t believe she’s running around.” I said, awed, listening to Jungkook tell me about how Mina liked to climb everywhere. He laughed, shaking his head. 

"She’s growing bigger everyday. I can barely keep up.” Jungkook smiled, holding a hand out for me to step over the wooden slats that lined the tiny archway that led to the door to his building. I hesitated before lightly gripping his hand in mine, the gesture somehow feeling more intimate that it was. 

“You’re not staying at the Firenze?” I asked curiously, resisting the urge to reach for his hand again when he let go.

it was such a ridiculous thing but I’d never held hands with him. And It felt ridiculously nice, to slot my fingers with his, feel them in between mine. His palm against mine, calloused but somehow so comforting. 

 I’d forgotten how warm he was.

 Don’t. Don’t fall down this rabbit hole again, Heejin. We talked about this. He doesn’t think of you that way. He doesn’t. And neither should you. its unfair to him. He doesn’t deserve that. 

“No... As you can see my apartment is barely ten minutes away and Soeun has her exams so its easier for her to watch over Mina here at the apartment.

“Soeun?” I asked curiously.

“Park Soeun? She’s a University student who lives with me. She’s doing a correspondence course in fashion . So she’s home all the time and she helps out with Mina. And she speaks Italian so that’s a huge plus... ” He smiled. “ you’ll like her. She’s a good kid.” 

 Don’t make that face. Don’t fucking make that face, Heejin.

I struggled to keep my face straight , like I wasn’t feeling the weight of a dozen bricks at the base of my stomach. 

“A roommate...then..?” I asked quietly and he shrugged.

“Something like that. But mostly she helps take care of Mina when I’m out on an assignment.” He smiled and led me past two flight of stairs up to the studio apartment. 

I wrapped my arms around myself as he stopped in front of a wrought iron grill, gripping one end and sliding it open with ease. And then he rang the small bell n the side. I shuffled back and forth on my foot, heart racing. 

The door opened and I blinked because of how young the girl who opened the door was. A second later she was beaming, moving forward and wrapping both her arms around me.

“Unnie!” She squealed, hugging me so close that I almost choked. Completely thrown I could only gape at Jungkook who was laughing . 

“Oh, I forgot to mention..she’s a bit of a fan. “ He teased lightly and I smiled awkwardly, watching as she pulled back to stare at me, her gaze trained on my face unblinkingly. 

“Whoa...” She reached out and lightly touched my cheek with her forefinger making me jump. She flinched as well, flushing red.

“Shit..sorry...I just... I’ve never... I’ve never met an omega before.” She said softly. “ You’re absolutely breathtaking.”

I felt my heart pound, steeping back instinctively, an overwhelming urge to hide , anxiety pooling in my stomach as she continued to stare at me. I hated the attention and I wrapped my arms around myself. 

“Soeun, enough. Don’t make it weird.” Jungkook said sternly, voice hard and the girl immediately flushed, bowing apologetically. 

“Sorry...I.. sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable ... You’re pretty.” She said again before turning to Jungkook.

“I have to get some stuff for my exhibit, Jungkook oppa... Mina’s asleep. i’ll be staying over at Vince’s place for the night though. Is that okay?”

“Sure..have fun.” Jungkook smiled, “ Vince is her boyfriend.” He explained and Soeun nodded happily. 

“Italian men are absolutely amazing unnie...you should try some.” She winked and I laughed despite myself.

“I just might...” I said with a grin, watching as she walked over to slip on a pair of sneakers from the small shoe closet near the door. She waved enthusiastically all but bouncing away and I blinked at him , shaking my head.

“I feel a hundred years old right now.” I said softly, still stunned by the girl’s exorbitant energy. Jungkook laughed at that

“She definitely has that effect on people... Come on, I’ll show you around.” He held his hand out and I smiled , taking his fingers mine and letting him tug me further into the studio apartment. 

I looked around, taking in the full blown prints of Mina and Jungkook , caught in adorable poses in front of different tourist spots in Florence. I saw how much she looked like Jungkook now, and how openly affectionate they looked together, the love evident even in the still photos. 

And then my eyes fell on a familiar painting , my stomach lurching. 

“You... “ i turned to him in a rush and he was staring at me with a small smile.

“I had to bring that. It pretty much saved me, that painting.” He said casually, stepping close and running his fingers all over the print. 

“When you told me this is how Sooah saw me...” He traced the picture carefully before glancing at me,” it made me realize that Sooah didn’t just want a baby.....she wanted a baby with  me. She saw me as a father. As someone who could raise and nurture a tiny human  and that... that’s amazing isn’t it?” He sighed, staring at me.  

He looked beautiful, I thought with an ache deep inside me. The most beautiful man I’d ever seen in my life and it seemed almost too good to be true. That he was here, at reach. So close. I wondered if this was it. This had to be a sign. A sign that we’d come full circle. That it was over. That we could finally break free from all that we’d been through, and look back at Jungkook’s past with fondness instead of pain.

And perhaps, just perhaps I could reach out and touch him with something more than just the love you have for a friend. . Perhaps I could reach out and touch him, without feeling guilt and foreboding.

I exhaled shakily stepping up and running my fingers over the canvas. It was nothing fancy... Just a painting a painting of Jungkook holding Mina up by her waist, high over his head, staring up into her face with all the love and adoration in the world, The child in the painting doesn’t look exactly like Mina, of course, but I’d had no idea , seeing as Sooah had commissioned the painting when she was pregnant. But Jungkook.... Jungkook looked exactly like he did now : Happy and at peace. 

“You’re alright, then?” I asked quietly , a wealth of meaning behind the words and he smiled , nodding gently. 

“I’m fine…” He whispered , “ And I’m so glad I can tell you that, like this. Thank you for coming , Heejin-ah . I know you owe me nothing but.. I wanted to show you that… it wasn’t all bad you know. What we went through… Something good did come out of it.” He whispered.

I choked out a sob.

“I lied.” I whispered. “ I did miss you. Even when I knew I shouldn’t.”

Jungkook’s gaze softened.

“I have a lot to be sorry for. But I don’t want to remind you of those things. I just want you to know that… I understand what you went through…those six months. I understand that it was difficult and painful and i… I’m grateful that you didn’t give up on me. And I’m grateful that you stayed in my life.  Because I know I didn’t deserve that.”

“You deserve to be loved Jungkook.” I said quietly. “ Its not wrong to move on. You deserve to… find happiness again.”

He stared at me, his gaze soft and gentle.

“I can almost believe it, when you say it that way.” He laughed. “ And… you know… I’m not sure if its love. But there’s someone I’ve been…. Well, I can sort of see myself with her. .” He grinned a little, smile boyish as he ran his fingers through his hair. He glanced at me and I felt my heart skip a beat.

Wait… was he going to?....

“ I met her at Taehyung’s practice, a year ago. Her name is Lee Hyorin.” Jungkook looked at me, doe eyes shining with excitement.

And just like that the world ended.

Or so it felt.

It was like being dipped in icy cold water, the shock of it rendering me speechless, lips parted and breath catching in lungs.

Blood rushed through my ears, so fast that I felt lightheaded, my legs nearly giving out. White noise filled my skull, pain lancing sharp through my heart like a thousand paper cuts, and I couldn’t really breathe. It took a few seconds…. For my heart to catch up with what my mind had just processed. And when it finally did, the pain was so excruciating, I had to clench my fists, nails digging into the flesh of my palm to ground myself.

“She’s an alpha…and she lost her husband around the same time Sooah passed..” Jungkook gave me a soft smile. “ She’s actually a curator at one of the museums here. She’s the one who made all the arrangements for me to move here to Florence. ”

“Wow… That’s…” devastating,. “ That’s good news. Jungkook.. I.. How long…” My voice cracked, and I had to swallow. “ How long have you guys been dating?”

“About three months now. We’re taking it very slow, because we aren’t really ready. She has a son too. He’s three years old. Mina loves him so that’s a plus.” He laughed.

My lungs constricted, breathing difficult and my head swam because ….. what. Realization set in so quickly, I was left reeling. I was in love with this bastard, I thought miserably. So in love with him that it felt like he was shredding my heart into ribbons. Every word of his mouth felt like a sharp deep stab, straight through the center of my heart and the pulsing, beating organ was on the verge of giving out.

“She’s going to be there at the dinner tonight at the Festival. She’s one of the organizers by the way. She’s kind of the reason I got in, I think.” He laughed , looking abashed and what a load of bull that was. Jungkook was successful and well known. Superbly talented at his chosen field. She was lucky to have him.

How can she have him when I’m the one who fixed him? How is that fucking fair?

“She really understands the things I’ve been going through, the past few months and because we both still attend therapy with Taehyung, we’re able to talk about a lot of stuff. Stuff I can’t share with others…” Jungkook was saying and I tuned him out, not wanting to hear another word.

I swallowed, choking on bile. I could feel sweat gathering on my scalp, my skin clammy and damp , the air between us shifting into something poisonous and filled with so much dismay, it was a miracle he hadn’t picked up on it.

Couldn’t he sense how distressed I was? Couldn’t he see how his words were hurting? Couldn’t he fucking see that I couldn’t live without him? Why on earth couldn’t he see me the way he apparently saw every other woman on the damn planet…..

Because he’s a shitty Alpha, I thought miserably, willing myself not to burst into tears. He was a shitty excuse for an alpha back then and he’s the same now.

A low, distressed cry began somewhere behind him and he jumped.

“Oh, shit she’s up… come on, Heejin.” He said with a bright smile, turning around and rushing down a small hallway and I willed myself to breathe in deeply, reminding myself that this wasn’t the end of the world. I could get through this. Besides, it was Mina.

Beautiful, perfect Mina who had been there for me. She would see me and she would give me that sweet gummy smile of hers, does eyes twinkling and I would get through this. Because her smile was what was important. Her smile and her joy and her happiness.

The sobbing had slowed down to small hiccups and I stepped past the threshold cautiously, watching as Jungkook bent over the large crib, carefully lifting her out and into his arms. She looked breathtaking, an absolutely gorgeous little girl . I stared, mesmerized as I stepped closer. My arms ached, and my chest tightened. Lips wobbling, I exhaled sharply, moving to reach for her.

She turned to glance at me and just as my fingers brushed her cheek, she recoiled.

Hard.

A loud wail tore through her tiny body and I felt my eyes go wide. Her casual little cry had turned into a sobbing , loud wail and I could smell the distress in her , the fear and distrust as she curled away from me.  Jungkook looked stunned as well, instinctively drawing her close and embracing her, moving away from me because….

Because I was the reason, she was distressed.  

My skin went ice cold at the revelation and I stumbled back, stunned.

“I… I’m sorry.” I choked out, confused and disoriented. Jungkook looked stricken, gently rocking her back and forth and she clung to him, gripping his shirt and I bit my lips, moving further back and I glanced at him, my heart shattering.

“She’s …She’s still sleepy… She doesn’t do well with strangers…” He said softly, looking upset, “ Maybe you could…wait outside…”

Stranger…. Was that what I was?

“I… I’ll go. I’ll just go.” I turned on my heel, rushing out of the door and struggling to breathe in air, my heart clenching so hard I was sure I was going to pass out. I felt my knees give out when I reached the couch, dropping down and drawing my knees up , wrapping my arms around my legs . I didn’t know how long I sat there, fighting sobs and choking on air…and when I finally came to myself, the sobs from the room had died out.

“She’s fallen asleep again.” Jungkook’s voice cut through the silence and I couldn’t bring myself to look up. I felt him move closer, felt his scent hit me as he stepped right up to me, kneeling on the floor in front of me.

I looked up at him, lips wobbling as I took in his handsome face.  A face that was so deeply carved into my heart and my soul, I couldn’t imagine living without it. Without him. The tears came then, helpless and endless and so painful.

He pressed in closer, cupping my face in his palms, thumb brushing the tears that spilled over so relentlessly.

“Heejin…” He whispered and I let my fingers curl around his wrist as his thumb kept brushing the curve of my cheeks. I took a deep , shaky breath .

“She doesn’t remember me….  “ I whispered, “ She doesn’t recognize me at all…She hates me……” I choked out , despair filling every last crevice of my insides, gut twisting as I remembered how Mina had twisted away from me, how her scent had soured in distress at the sight of me, at the touch of my fingers.

 And I wondered if it was different with this other woman..Hyorin, wasn’t it? Did Mina climb into her arms with ease? Did she curl into her chest and sleep? The way she used to with me,  when she was a month old and missing the warmth of a mother.. ….

All those nights spent in that tiny nursery, lying on the cold unforgiving floor, watching the rise and fall of Mina’s chest through the dark room…telling myself it was worth it… it was worth being touched against my will, worth being treated like filth by a man driven mad with grief and anger….all because of this baby…this tiny little baby who had needed me….

And now…she didn’t even know who I was…..worse…she was repulsed by the very sight of me… I couldn’t cope.

“Look at me…” Jungkook rasped, voice raw and cracking. “she doesn’t hate you, Heejin… she just … you feel new to her… different…” 

I shook my head, unable to think about anything beyond the sheer devastation that filled me, the way his daughter had pulled away and run, had refused to come anywhere near me. I realized with lancing pain that I’d wanted to see her, way more than I’d wanted to see Jungkook .

Because she was the reason I’d hung on for so long in that marriage which had been the biggest fucking mistake of my life…. the only reason I’d stuck around . Mina …Having her in my arms, her scent against my face, that had been the only genuine happiness I’d experienced  in a marriage filled with sheer , unending misery. 

“I… she… Why doesn’t she remember? “ I breathed, sagging into his arms, tears soaking his shoulders and his palm ran up and down my back.

“Because she was a baby. Heejin…. I left when she was a baby…”

“Why did you?” I snapped. “ Did it hurt you so much? The thought of living under the same sky as me ? Why you did you go?” I demanded.

Jungkook pulled back, hands coming up to grip my shoulder, holding me at arms length.

“Look at me.” He whispered. “ I had to … You know I had to go….I was hurting you. I was… I was draining you of life. Destroying you… “

Jungkook’s words reminded me of who he was. Of who I was… Of who I was to him.

I choked out, sobbing.

“I hate you. You treated me like scum. Like a crutch….. Like some sort of tool to get better and you just left… you…”

You found someone better. You broke me down and now you’ve gone and found someone better….because I was never good enough for you… I was never someone you could love….

“I had to let you go. I had to end that relationship because it was tainted with so much grief and anger and selfishness and greed. I knew that anything I did afterwards would be tainted by my actions… I… I had to make amends, Heejin. And do you think for a second, that it wasn’t the hardest thing I ever did? That walking out on you wasn’t one of the most devastating things I’ve ever experienced? But I did it for us… for this…” 

I stared at him.

“And what is this?” I asked brokenly.

“This is me, being able to touch you like this.” Jungkook pressed a palm to my cheek, “ And not feeling guilt or sadness or grief or loss.  I did it so we could have this…this… This thing where I can look at you and hold you and see that you’re healing. That you’re doing better… That you’re living the life you want…. That you’re happy. This is me standing here , in front of you and smiling because I’m happy too. Happy that you’re here.  ” He exhaled, “ I’m happy that despite all the hurt we’ve been through for and because of each other, I can look at you now and tell you, honestly, that I’m glad to see you.” 

What a joke.. What a fucking joke.

I smiled shakily.

“Well… “ I said softly, my stomach churning because I was done. Done with him and mostly with myself. “ Isn’t that absolutely wonderful.”

His gaze softened and he smiled.

“I want us to be friends, Heejinah. Even though we don’t see or talk to each other, I think of you often. And when Mina’s old enough to understand , I’ll tell her all about you… I want you in our lives. You’re a friend. ”

I stared at him , feeling the words echo in my skull . It left an acrid taste on my senses, the way he put me into this neat little box, friend. So ….insignificant. Everyone had hundreds of friends. There was nothing even remotely special about being someone’s friend.

Friend just meant replaceable and forgettable. And just like Mina didn’t remember me…. Someday Jungkook wouldn’t either. The knowledge filled my veins spreading all over my body and leaving a fierce, heavy ache in my chest.

It was my fault, I thought despondently. My fault because I had been an idiot.

Jungkook was the sane one here , I thought miserably. These nine months, while I’d been dwelling on him and worrying for him…he had done the healthy thing , by moving on with someone he could actually envision a future with….

What had I done, these past nine months? Dreamt up a fantasy world where somehow we found our way back to each other and built a life together… It seemed so foolish now, in the light of Jungkook’s words and his confession….

Jungkook had done all of this, not for me…but for himself. For his daughter whom he loved and for his wife , whose memory he wanted to honor. And perhaps it was my own delusion that made me think that I’d played some stellar role in his healing…. Maybe if I hadn’t been there, he would have gotten better just the same…. Maybe I hadn’t been a tool …as much as a hindrance …to his healing.

I shook my head, bitterness coating my tongue.

“I should get going.” I whispered , voice shaking.

This is it, I told myself. This is the last time you look at him with that heaviness in your heart. You deserve better. You deserve… a lot of things. And just because people don’t give it to you doesn’t mean you have to settle for less……

“So soon? Hyorin will be back in a couple of hours… I could show you some of my work, and we could get lunch ….”

I shook my head quickly. I didn’t want to meet her in his home. Didn’t want to see him being domestic and affectionate and …normal with her when all I’d ever seen was Jungkook in his anger and grief, either yelling abuses or gripping me with a lust that was tainted with violence and rage. I stared at his hands, the ones I’d liked holding….

How did I forget? That those were the same hands that had held me down and done things that should, rightfully have landed him in prison?

I shook my head, to clear the images out of my head. Looking at him now,  Jungkook looked eager, happy and healed. And I realized that he’d just pushed all of his own actions out of his mind. Forgotten all about it. And that was fair. He probably didn’t even remember any of it. He had been drunk out of his mind, lost in his head and surely, forgetting must’ve been easy… A relief.

I didn’t begrudge him that.

But…

I hadn’t been drunk. I’d been stone cold sober under him on that bed and so, maybe forgetting didn’t come that easily for me. And I was glad that Jungkook could move on and be happy but….

But I couldn’t stay here and pretend that it was the same for me. I wasn’t happy or healed, I thought miserably. And maybe , maybe the sight of him moving on was a sign that I had to stop thinking that healing meant going back to him and his daughter.

“Heejin… What’s wrong? Is it because of Mina.. she’s just not used to…” He began but I quickly pressed a palm to his chest, smiling.

“Strangers.” I said softly. “ I know. That’s not it… You know I have to introduce my exhibit at dinner tonight. I don’t know what the itinerary is or what I’m supposed to say…. None of it.. I need to meet my agent and prep myself a bit. Its alright…I’ll see you tonight.” I said softly.

“I’m sorry… I can’t walk you back because Mina-“

“Of course. Don’t worry about it…. I’ll just…”

The doorbell rang, startling me.

“Jungkook!” A strong voice called out and I went still.

“Hyorin?” Jungkook’s face lit up and I felt my stomach churn. God, the universe really was against me wasn’t it? Sighing in defeat, I wrapped my arms around myself, sitting back down on the couch and waiting.

Behind me , I could hear hushed whispers, soft laughter and shuffling feet. My mouth went dry.

“Ms. Kim….”

I turned around, greeted by the sight of a tall, strapping young woman, pretty by any standards. She was dressed in a pant suit , her hair long and straight, hitting the top of her shoulders. She looked smart… Important.

“Ms. Lee… Its nice to meet you.”

She held her hand out and I shook it gently.  Jungkook smiled at her fondly and his phone rang from somewhere inside the studio.

“Hang on that’s probably Soeun…” He smiled at me and moved away and I watched him leave before shifting my gaze to Hyorin, who was staring down at me with a small smile.

“Are you here in Italy by yourself? Or with one of your many …uh… patrons ?” She smirked.

I blinked.

“Patrons?” I asked softly. “ Excuse me?”

“Jungkook and I’ve been following all the stories about you, back in Korea. You get around quite a lot… don’t you? Every alpha within a 100 mile radius wants a piece of the lovely Kim Heejin… And honestly, could anyone blame them? You look exquisite.”

I stared at her, stunned. The implication was so obvious that I would be an idiot not to realize what she was hinting at. So this was the woman , Jungkook chose? Yet another prejudiced bigot?

I laughed a bit, feeling my heart sink.

“I’m not seeing anyone. If that’s what you’re asking.” I said quietly.

Hyorin smirked at that.

“Of course you aren’t… We all know that isn’t really something your kind does… monogamy, right?”

“Do you have a problem with me Hyorin ssi?” I asked roughly and she laughed.

“Oh come on.. we’re all adults, here. And Heejin, you  agreed to be a part of this festival, knowing full well, that’s what we think . Its because deep down you know I’m right….. Omegas can’t stay with one alpha. They need sex to survive and they are usually open to it with anyone. Not that I’m blaming you or judging you for it. It’s just how you’re built.”

I smiled wide, ignoring the urge to claw at her face. .

“Well, you’ve definitely got me all figured out haven’t you? “ I shook my head, glancing at Jungkook who was making his way over.

“What are you talking about?” He asked curiously and I smiled, glancing at her.

“ Hyorin ssi was just telling me how my sub gender makes it impossible for me to not go around whoring with every alpha I see…….” I glanced at him and Jungkook straightened, looking stunned, “ Well, I hope you two enjoy your beautiful monogamous relationship with each other something an omega like me can only fantasize about…. Right Jungkook?” I smiled and he looked completely lost.

“Wait…What? Hyorin what did you say?” He demanded and she was glaring at me now.

“Please don’t take it personally, I was only talking about omegas in general. “ Hyorin frowned, before bowing and moving away to stalk off in the direction of the bedrooms and I watched her, feeling dirty and terrible.

“Heejin, ignore her.. she’s just old fashioned and-“

“Is that what you’re going to call it?” I snapped and Jungkook froze.

“Heejin…”

I shook my head in disbelief.

“I’m not upset about what she said. I’m upset that she feels comfortable enough, spouting that bullshit to me , in your house. Makes me wonder what else she’s told you about omegas, and how much of it you probably agreed with.”

Jungkook stared at me , lips parted.

“I… I don’t feel that way. You know that.” He said stiltedly.

“Do I? All I know is that she knows about me, about who I am and apparently, she can call me a slut…. In front of you, without worrying about it upsetting you. And that tells me you’re as much of a bigot as she is.”

“Heejin… You know that’s not it. We all grow up being fed certain things and –“

“But you did grow up right?” I snapped. “ you grew up and you can think and act for yourself. As can she. Once you’re an adult, you don’t have a single fucking excuse for being racist or homophobic or bigoted because being an adult means having the ability to unlearn the toxic things you’ve been taught and relearn how to be a decent fucking human.”

I shook my head as he stared at me.

“And you know what…please just… just don’t call me or consider me as a friend.” I laughed. “ Because I don’t think I can consider you one. Not anymore. You can’t…...You can’t just love certain parts of me and be disgusted by others you know? I don’t need a friend who can care about me and love me and help me as long as he can forget that I’m an omega….. I need a friend who can love every jagged, broken , part of me. Who can call out people who talk bullshit at me , who can look someone in the eye and tell them they’re wrong when they’re calling me names  and that’s not who you are……. You’re not it.” I snapped.

Jungkook looked stricken, reaching out to hold me and I stepped away, annoyed.

“I’m sorry, Heejin, you’re right … I’ll talk to her… I’ll…” He began but I shook my head.

“Whatever.  Just don’t call me a friend. We can’t be friends. Let’s just be what we always were , yeah? A big fucking mistake that never should have happened.”

I stormed out of the door, shaking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you mean, there are no flights available for today?” I snapped. “Tell them money isn’t an issue. I need to get out of this place right now.”

Minho looked incredibly stricken, hair messy from how often he’d run his fingers through.

“ We just arrived seven hours ago, Hee. Of course there’s no flight yet…. We can stay another day…attend the dinner and-“

“No.” I snapped. “ Absolutely not. I’m not here because they find my art good  or worth putting up. I’m here because they know the alphas around here will want to pay more , to pour in more cash for a chance with me.” I held the embossed booklet up, waving it in his face.

“Heejin…” He protested but I shook my head.

“ Did you see the cost to get into my pane ?. Extra ….for alphas? And yet…apparently they had to pre book it and its filled? You think any of the lecherous bastards who paid money to see me , gives a shit about my art?  And apparently, there’s a meet and greet, for alphas only if they purchase seven or more paintings worth over 10000 Euros. Do you think, that’s what I’m worth?”

Minho looked down at his shoes, ashamed.

“I .. I’m sorry, Hee. You’re right. Its offensive . And an insult to your art and talent. We shouldn’t have come here, you’re right. And I regret it… But just… give me a few hours, yeah? I’ll find a way to get us out of here….”

I exhaled sharply, exhaustion weighing heavy on my head. I felt like I’d taken a pounding, physically and mentally and I wondered how a day that had started so well, could go so wrong, so fast…

Shaking my head, I trudged wearily to the elevator, knocking on the buttons before sagging against the wall, letting my eyes flutter shut.

Jungkook was dating.

Jungkook was dating. His girlfriend thought I was a slut and here I was about to prove her right.

I wanted to slit someone’s throat.

Sighing, I watched the door slide open, grabbing my keys out of my bag,  and moving to the suite. I opened the door before making a beeline for the bed. I collapsed on the soft duvet, groaning. I was torn between wanting to call Taehyung to yell at him about Jungkook and calling Minho to demand an update on the flights.

I was spared the dilemma when the phone in the room rang. Groaning, I moved to swat at the phone, turning on the speaker.

“Ms. Kim? There’s a Mr. Jeon here to see you?”

I blinked, feeling disbelief swell inside me. Did he not get the hint?

Annoyed, I sat up.

“Send him up.” I said, in no mood to go all the way down to see him.

“Up?” She sounded surprised, “ To your room?”

“Yes. To my room. Is that a fucking problem?” I growled, annoyed.

“Not at all Ms. Kim. He’ll be right up.”

I got out of bed, shrugging off my jacket and taking off my dress as well. It was a little damp because I’d sweated through the fabric. I grabbed one of my oversized t shirts , slipping it on and moving to open the door before retreating back to the inner room. Feeling annoyed, I walked up to the vanity and grabbed the hair brush, running the bristles through my locks. I heard his footsteps outside and stiffened.

“If you’re here to defend your shitty girlfriend, you can just leave Jungkook. I swear to God, I’ve had enough of this.” I shouted. He didn’t reply and my hackles rose.

“Listen, I’m sorry if I said something harsh-“ I froze when I reached the doorway, staring at the man in front of me. He had a large , almost humongous bouquet of wild orchids and roses in his hand and I stared at his face.  

This was definitely not Jungkook.

“Umm… hi.” The man bowed awkwardly, his gaze going straight to my legs, where my t shirt ended, just a couple of inches past my waist. I felt the blood rush to my face.

“Who are you…Get out !!!” I shouted, horrified, diving for my jacket and holding it up against my bare thighs. The man held both his hands up, eyes wide..

“I’m sorry… I… you said I could come up to your room….” He protested and I scowled, confused.

“What? “ I stared, stunned… “ Who…what?”

“I’m Wonwoo. Jeon Wonwoo. I’m uh….one of the sponsors for this festival. And a fan. Huge fan.” He was staring at me beseechingly and I felt my head begin to throb.

The sheer relentlessness of this day…..

“I… Mr. Jeon…” So weird, God, “ There’s been a misunderstanding. I’m not…. I thought you were someone else.”

“Jungkook yes…your ex husband, right? You were married to him for six months after he lost his wife….. He’s also one of the artists exhibiting their work here.” He nodded quickly, running long fingers through thick glossy hair, lips parting in a hesitant smile and I stared at him.

“How do you know all that? ” I demanded, heart pounding. He immediately held his hands up again.

“I’m sorry… I sound like a stalker, shit. But Trust me I’m not. I just am a huge fan.. I looked up some stuff about you….before.” He shuffled a bit awkwardly, finally looking up at me.

I tried to catch his scent. No scent to speak of. A beta then. Relaxing just a bit, I swallowed. At least I wasn’t in any immediate danger. But still, I had no intention of letting him see me in nothing but a t shirt. Embarrassed, I gripped the jacket tighter.

“Why are you here?” I demanded angrily, taking in his appearance. He didn’t look like a hoodlum or someone dangerous. He was good looking, dressed in a white t shirt and black Jacket over plain black slacks. His shoes looked expensive and I didn’t miss the shiny Rolex on his wrist either,.

“Well, for one thing I own the Hotel.” He chuckled and that made my stomach turn. “And also like I said, I’m one of the main sponsors for the Festival itself.”

“Right.” I was too disoriented to process this, head throbbing. “Of course. Is there a reason why you wanted to see me?”

“I was downstairs…just now… I couldn’t help but overhear you with your agent. You wanted to leave as soon as possible. To pull out of the event and I’m just here to try and change your mind, Ms. Kim.” He smiled earnestly and I realized he was really quite young.

I sighed.

“Could you… Could you wait outside? I want to put some clothes on before we talk any further.” I said tiredly and he bowed quickly.

“Uh… These…I’ll just leave these here.” He placed the large bunch of flowers on the table before quickly leaving the room and I swore, racing to the suitcase in the corner. I quickly grabbed a pair of jeans, slipping them on hastily and zipping myself up before glancing at the mirror again. This would have to do.

I moved to the door and opened it, finding him right there, looking lost.

“I… come in, please.” I said hesitantly and he bowed again, moving in and waiting for me to close the door and take a seat on the couch, before sinking into an arm chair across from me.

“Did you see the itinerary? It doesn’t get more sexualized than this.” I waved the booklet and he flushed.

“I understand you’re upset about … certain things. I’m sorry that you feel objectified , in the festival. It wasn’t the intention I had when I first told Hyorin and the others that I wanted them to invite you. But , I’ve been busy the past month, and I didn’t go over the complete agenda. If I did, I definitely would have made sure that you were treated with just as much respect as the others. Unfortunately, there’s not much I can do now, but I’ve had a word with all of the panelists and also the hosts. We won’t entertain any question or comments of a sexual nature and if anyone tries to insinuate anything , I’ll have them removed from the panel myself. “ He said firmly.

“I’m only here because you told me you would exhibit my mother’s works too.” I said sharply and he bowed.

“ Your mother’s works are just as exquisite and I’ve arranged for them to be displayed right at the center of the arena, with a running slide show of her childhood , her art technique and the great love she had for her daughter.” He said firmly.

I could only stare. He sounded incredibly sincere and there was no mistaking the earnestness in his tone.

“I’m….” I bit my lips, “  Listen, Mr. Jeon, I’m flattered but honestly, I never wanted to be here. I… there was … something else that made me want to come and well, that turned out to be a huge mistake. To be honest, I’m not sure if I have it in me to suffer through days of people treating me like I’m some kind of sex crazed bimbo.” I shook my head.

“how about this.? You let me be your date for tonight and you let me display your work, today at the dinner itself. I’ll be right by your side. And then, I’ll have my private jet on standby and we can fly back to Korea. You deserve the spotlight, Heejin and I want people to see how good you are at what you do. I don’t care if I lose money over this… As long as you’re comfortable. ”

I gawked at him, stunned.

“Private Jet?” I choked out. “ Okay, now I’m genuinely concerned.”

He laughed.

“I’m a Hotelier, and I have properties all over the world and I like to inspect them personally most of the time. Its more practical to have a private jet than to try and align my schedules with everyone else.” He smiled.

“Right. Convenient.” I shook my head. “ I’m no stranger to excessive wealth, Mr. Jeon and trust me, it’s always left a  sour taste in my mouth.”

“I don’t flaunt my wealth, Ms. Kim. These clothes? Got them on the streets of Florence. I drive a Mazda. Wealth has no meaning to me. People do. People like you, who bring beauty into the world with their craft. You’ve made my world beautiful and I just want to repay , in some way.” He smiled,  “ Also,  You’re very  beautiful.” He added and then immediately looked away. “ I’m sorry. That was… dumb . I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”

Endeared against my own wishes, I found myself fighting a small smile.

“Just tonight’s dinner?” I asked quietly.

“Just the dinner party.” He assured me quickly.

“Alright. But I’m not getting into any private Jet. My agent will book me tickets and I’ll find my way back to Korea.”

“As you wish. I’ll pick you up at seven. What color is your dress?��� He asked casually and I blinked.

“Uh… Wine red? I guess? Why?”

He grinned, looking boyishly handsome.

“I’ll see you at seven, Ms. Kim.”

He bowed, before pausing by the bouquet. He grabbed a couple of  flowers, holding them up for me to see.  

“Daffodils and Lilacs.” He grinned, “ To finding something new to love. And to new beginnings.”

Wow.

Subtle.

I shook my head, momentarily forgetting all about Jungkook as I grinned all the way back to the bedroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I told you… coming with me will earn you major points.” Wonwoo smirked as he pulled me in by my waist , holding my dress up for me as I stared at the sleek black limousine at the Hotel entrance. I watched as he held my wrist gently, latching a string of sterling silver and red rubies around the delicate curve of it.

“This is too lavish…I don’t want this…Who are you?” I demanded, flushing because of the way the flashes went off in every direction, reporters scrambling when they caught sight of him. He was clearly popular, if the number of photos being clicked were any indication. I regretted everything.

Wonwoo pressed a kiss to my wrists, right near the bracelet and gently placed my palm on the curve of his elbow, leading me over to the car and I watched the chauffeur open the door for us.  

“ Someone who can get anyone here fired. Be careful , sweetheart.” I watched in mute horror as he bent low, picking up the hem of my skirt so I wouldn’t trip, while climbing into the limousine. The reporters began whispering excitedly and more flashes went off . My face completely red, I hastened to climb in.

“These people look at you like you’re some kind of King.” I stared out of the tinted windows seeing the sheer multitude of people and Wonwoo chuckled.

“ That’s because I am. At least for tonight. And that’s why I’m the perfect guy to protect you Heejin. They’re all terrified of me.” He winked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook found me, fifteen minutes into the event. I hung by the large archway, near an alcove, sipping champagne and nibbling on some hors d’oeuvre as people threw glances at me. I noticed the conspicuous lack of a date on his arm and straightened, sighing and bracing myself for more unpleasantness as he picked his way through the crowd, eyes trained on me.

“Can we talk?” He said, the minute he was at hearing distance and I exhaled.

“No.” I said casually and he made a noise of impatience.

“Fucking, hell Heejin..just…” He swore again, looking upset. “ Why are you doing this to me? What do you want from me huh?”

I stared at him in disbelief.

“What do I want from you? Oh, fuck off Jungkook. I want nothing from you.” I snapped, turning on my heel, ready to leave but his hand shot out, gripping me right above my elbow, fingers curling in hard.

“Fuck.. listen. I don’t know what she said to you. I .. I’m sorry if she offended you…. Alright? She’s an alpha… I can’t change the way she thinks…”

“I didn’t ask you to. I merely said that if you associate yourself with people who think I’m scum, I won’t let you into my life. Because I respect myself too much for that.” I said firmly.

“She doesn’t think you’re scum, Heejin come on. She just has some misconceptions about certain things.”

“God, Jungkook…just stop. Alright? Stop. Because I’m not asking you do anything. I’m leaving on a flight tomorrow morning and you’ll never see me again. That’s all there is to it.”

He froze at that, fingers curling harder around my arm and it hurt, the skin turning red. Stupid fucker, never knew his own strength.

“Ow, Jungkook let go.” I whispered, and he did, albeit reluctantly.

I rubbed at the bruised skin, furious. I watched as the redness healed over, the pain fading to a throb and then into a pleasant heat and I hated it. Hated that being an omega meant that Jungkook’s rough touch turned to pleasure on my skin.

“What do you mean you’re leaving tomorrow? The Festival is for two weeks.”

I sighed.

“I didn’t come here for the festival. I came here to see you. To see if you were as hung up on me as I was on you…but apparently not.” I snapped.

Jungkook went perfectly still at that.

“What the fuck does that mean?” He said softly and I laughed, shaking my head.

“Wow. You really never even considered it huh? Us? Together.?” It wasn’t funny at all, but I could only laugh. Probably because I’d been so sure.. So certain that there was something there.

He opened his mouth to answer but I felt a warm solidness behind me, an arm wrapping around my waist and a second later, Wonwoo was there pressing up against me.

“Jungkook-ssi… Such a pleasure to meet you.” He held his hand out, and Jungkook frowned, his eyes trained on where wonwoo’s fingers curled around my waist.

“Get your hands off her.” He said shortly and Wonwoo blinked, pulling away from me and stepping back .

“What the-? No. Fuck you.” I snapped, glaring at Jungkook before grabbing Wonwoo’s hand and bringing it back around me. “Don’t you fucking dare take your hands off.” I held my finger up at his face and Wonwoo looked momentarily stunned.

“Really, Heejin? You’re doing this?” Jungkook glared at me. “ We need to talk.”

“So talk.” I snapped. “ Tell me why you think a bigoted bitch is the best you can do in terms of dating. Tell me why she’s the only one who can ‘ understand’ “ I made air quotes, shaking my head, “ You think you and your shitty have monopoly on grief Jungkook? I’ve lost people too. Just because I haven’t screwed other people over because of it, doesn’t make my grief invalid….yeah.”

Ringing silence followed and I regretted everything.

“Fuck.” I whispered, shaking my head. “ I .. Shit. I need to get out of here.”

I pulled away from Wonwoo, moving out of the huge ballroom and Jungkook was right behind me, of course he was.

“Heejin…fuck. Wait. You’re right. I didn’t mean to imply that you didn’t understand me. Of course you did. Its why you stuck around… I know that. And you’re right, she had no business talking about you like that. I’ll have a word with her… But…”

I sped up, wanting to get away but he grabbed me again, tugging me closer out of the hall way and into a darkened alcove and I flinched when he pushed me up against the wall, caging me in, as he pressed in closer.

“What did you mean by that?” He demanded, hands coming up to grip my waist, curling gently and my chest heaved at the touch of him, the enclosed space making his scent turn potent, strong and impossible to avoid. My nostril flared as I breathed him in, familiar and yet so foreign, comforting and yet so fucking dangerous.

“By what?” I snapped and his hands moved up, shaping the curves of my body , thumb grazing the tip of my breast and making me jump, before moving up, gripping my face, gently. He pressed his thumb into my lower lip, rubbing back and forth, face impossibly close and I swallowed, throat sandpaper dry.

“About us? Together….” He breathed and I exhaled shakily.

“You know what I meant.” I whispered. “ If you don’t then I can’t explain it.” I whispered and he swore, head dropping against mine, forehead resting against mine, and lips less than a hairsbreadth away.

We’ve never kissed, I thought suddenly. I licked my lips, turning my face away but his fingers gripped my chin at once, yanking me around to stare at him again.

“Look at me, baby. Tell me… You thought about us together?” He whispered .

I breathed shakily.

“Of course I did…. “ I snapped.

“Then clearly therapy isn’t working for you.” He snapped right back and I flinched.

“What-“

Jungkook pulled away staring at me.

“ Do you even remember all the shit I did to you?” He asked quietly. My stomach dropped.

“Jungkook.”

“I broke your ribs.” He said calmly. I swallowed.

“That.. That was an accident. You didn’t mean to.” I protested. “ And we’re past all that… I don’t… I don’t blame you for it.” I said, which was honest enough.

“And what about the nights I got drunk, Heejin….” He said softly and my skin went cold.

“That… That was just… It was just an outlet for your grief… “ I looked away and he scoffed.

“You’re calling it an outlet for grief. I believe the world calls it rape.”

I felt my entire body shiver at the word , moving up to wrap my arms around his neck, trying to pull him close but he was stiff as a board.

“ Don’t” I snapped. “ Don’t …. Its over…it’s in the past.”

“It was still me. I was the one who did it and I can’t… I can’t pretend it didn’t happen.”

I pulled away to glare at him.

“So , what? You won’t give us a chance because of something I’ve already forgiven you for?”

“Yes.” He said shortly. “ Because you may have forgiven me, but I haven’t forgiven myself.”

I felt my body sag in disbelief.

“Jungkook that’s-“

“You deserve better. You always have. I’m not… I don’t deserve someone like you Heejin. You’re kind and breathtaking and I’m just… a broken mess of a man who’s barely getting by.”

“Oh, right… So broken.” I scoffed. “ You’re on the front page of magazines, you have a successful career and a beautiful girlfriend,,,,forgive me if I’m not breaking my heart over your failures.”

Jungkook exhaled shakily before looking up at me.

“  You wanna know the truth about me, Heejin-ah?” He swallowed. “ I just got out of rehab last week.”

I went still.

“What?” I was sure I’d misheard.

“I… I came here and about a month or so in…I started drinking again…” He glanced away and my heart turned over inside me.

“Jungkook, what?” I demanded, horrified.

“I got drunk and got into an argument with a cop. I hit him. They found out I was a single father and-“ He shook his head, “ I got arrested for disorderly conduct , Public intoxication and assault.”

I stared at him in disbelief, unable to keep the disappointment out of my tone.

“ Arrested for assault... Jungkook why?” I breathed and he flushed.

“I know…. It was stupid.. I… I was stupid.” He said softly.  “Soeun isn’t a baby sitter. She’s a social worker. She’s here to keep an eye on me because they want to make sure I’m not a threat to Mina. If I slip up, they’ll deport me back home and then the state will likely take her away from me. Soeun likes me….so she agreed to lie to you ……And as for the girlfriend…” He laughed, shaking his head, “ Hyorin broke up with me after I got arrested. We’re not… We’re not dating. She was only there to get some prints for the panel tomorrow.” He finished shakily.

I stared at him.

“Why?” I demanded . “ Why would you lie to me… Jungkook ….”

“Because I didn’t want you to think I was a screw up.” He said shakily. “ I know I’m supposed to be getting better and I have but… But sometimes I just…I miss…. I miss home. “ He shuddered. “ And you.”  He looked up at me. “ I miss you a lot, Heejin and it hurts and I feel like the only way I can forget about you…about us together is if I drink. And I’m sorry. I know I don’t have the right to miss you, not after everything I put you through but I… it’s how I feel. ” He glanced away, trembling a little.

I wrapped my arms around myself, stepping away, feeling myself go cold.

We stayed quiet for a few seconds, both of us staring at the floor lost in our own thoughts. I felt drained. Miserably so. Like someone had sucked all the strength out of me. I realized how badly I had wanted Jungkook to be okay. To heal and be himself again. And I’d spent the last nine months, fully convinced that he was. That he was doing what he loved, bonding with his daughter building a life for himself.

But apparently, he was also spiraling back into addiction as well.

It was like we were back in that apartment, both of us miserable  but desperate to be something we clearly were not : Okay.

“Does Taehyung know?” I asked finally and Jungkook hesitated before nodding.

“He was at my court hearing three weeks ago. He’s the reason I haven’t already lost her.” Jungkook whispered.

“What did he say?”

“He thinks I should come back to Korea.” Jungkook said quietly. “ He wants me to start therapy again with him. Every week. “

I nodded.

“Fair enough. And what do you think?”

“I think I will. My probation ends in three days. I’ll… I’ll start making arrangements afterwards. I’ll probably be back in a few weeks time. ”

I stared at him, finally seeing the things I hadn’t noticed this morning. The shadows beneath his eyes, the worry lines on his brow. I wondered if he would have ever told me the truth, if not for this little confrontation between us.

Silence descended again and I bit my lips, a million thoughts running through my head. I felt the pull of his scent through it all, an instinctive urge to reach out and touch and draw him close and I wondered if this was it. That for the rest of our lives we would just be drawn to each other, reluctant and hurt but unable to stay away.

“You’re leaving tomorrow then?” He asked quietly breaking through the fog in my head.  

“Well obviously not.” I snapped. “ I’m not leaving you. I’ll tell Minho, we’ll be staying here for a few weeks. Do you actually have a possible job back home? If you don’t I can ask my agent to find one for you….”

Jungkook was staring at me like I’d grown an extra head.

“ What?” I asked roughly.

He swallowed.

“No.. I .. I don’t have a job there.”

“We’ll get you one. And my apartment is big enough so you can stay with me till we find you a place of your own. And I think it’ll actually be good for you, because there’s a Fine Art photographer, pretty well know guy who stays just a few blocks away and e can probably- “

“You haven’t really changed have you?” Jungkook cut me off in the middle of my rambling .

I flushed, looking away.

“What do you mean?”

“Back when we were married… it was just like this.. I’d fuck up and do something awful and you’d just take it all in stride, get ready to help me out of it….”

“I don’t know what you mean…” I said quickly, “ Let’s go back to the party we’ll talk later-“

He grabbed both my arms, pulling me back to face him when I tried to get past him and I yelped, staring up at him in surprise.

“What?” I demanded. “ What is it now?”

“How do you do this thing, Heejin ?” He asked roughly. “ How do you just get ready to clean up every fucking mess I make like it doesn’t hurt you? Like I don’t hurt you?”

“What are you talking about?” I tried to wriggle out of his hold but he tugged me closer.

“How do you just…” He shook his head, “ accept me so unconditionally? Like… Its like no matter what I do, you’re just willing to look past it and I don’t fucking understand Heejin… why do you put up with me, damn it?”

I stared right at him. Caught his gaze and held it, refusing to look away.

“You know why.” I whispered, licking my lips, throat dry,  “ And if you don’t…. I’m not going to tell you.”

His eyes widened , lips parting and he exhaled sharply, before letting me go and stepping away.

He looked away, shaking a little and I sighed.

“Let’s just get this night over with, yeah?” I said quietly. “ and then we’ll talk.”

He didn’t reply, merely standing aside and motioning for me to leave first.

I shook my head, moving to grip his arm instead.

“Together.” I said firmly. “ We’ll get this night over with, together.”

 Author’s Note : i love these two. i’ve never wanted two people to be together so much. 

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[hargrove-mayfields]

Back when things were still easy, Billy and Max used to have sibling days on the weekends when Neil wouldn’t be home, setting aside their issues to have just one day that was meant for doing something fun together.

The tradition had been dropped after the move to Hawkins, and Max thinks that’s where a lot of the strain on their relationship comes from. Without those designated times to let go of some of the tension building between them, they fall to pieces.

There’s one day in particular where it’s just Max at home all by herself, her mother and Neil having gone on a trip to the city she opted out of, when Billy shows up much earlier than he said he would be back, ruining the calm when he slammed the front door so hard a picture frame fell off the wall.

Neither of them say a word to the other, all she gets is an apologetic and glossy looking glance for the noise as he storms past her like she isn’t even there.

She doesn’t see Billy again for a long time after that, just hears the angry music blaring in his room. By now, she’s wisened up enough to know that meant he was probably crying in there, and though she doesn’t know what happened, she feels bad.

It’d been far too long since they acted anything like real siblings, not that they were actually related, but they used to be just as close, so after her brother’s been brooding for literal hours, she knows she wants to do something.

Her opportunity to bring it up comes when Billy makes his grand appearance at her door, stopping by to ask if she ate dinner just so he, quote ‘wouldn’t get any shit for it.’ She nods in agreement and asks, “Do you know what day it is, Billy?”

He shrugs, “28th of June.”

“Well, doy, but it’s also Friday.” Billy raises an eyebrow, missing the point, and Max rolls her eyes. “Friday. You know, like, the one day we get to hang out.”

Too cool for that stuff anymore apparently, he scoffs and leans against the doorframe, and she just knows he’s going to say something snarky, so she turns the puppy dog eyes up a notch, “Please? It’ll be fun.”

It works, Billy sighs way over dramatic and steps into her room, throwing himself down onto her beanbag chair. She can’t contain the smile on her face when he asks with fake defeat, “What did you want, shitbird?”

“I want a makeover day. Like we used to do.”

“Not gonna happen.”

“Why?” She crosses her arms, “Just because that’s what I want to do?”

He fixes her with a look that says ‘seriously?’, and explains, an edge of frustration to his voice, “No, because you know what’ll happen if I’m struttin’ around in nail polish and shit when Neil gets back.”

“They’re not supposed to come back until like, Monday though,” in response to her excuses, he mimics her in crossing his arms over his chest, so she tries harder to reason with him, “And we can always just take it off when we’re done.”

“That’s just a waste of your stuff, then.”

“Come on, Billy, please?” she’s out of actual arguments and he’s winning, so she brings out the big guns, the little sister privilege, the one surefire way she knows will always knock her brother off guard, “I miss you.”

He squints at her, seeing through the attempted guilt trip, but he can’t muster a frown, and he must know it wasn’t all fake, because he says, “Whatever.”

She knows that’s his version of a yes and he’s just too proud to admit he caved, so she squeals and claps her hands together, taking off like a shot to dig under her bed for the stowed away beauty kit. It’s a little wicker basket filled to the brim with nail polish and makeup, the same one they’d used years ago before everything went wrong, and it makes her happy, bringing the old thing back out.

She stops to put a record in her player, choosing Queen as the closest thing to a middle ground between their respective music tastes, they at least both weren’t supposed to listen to it, and drops down into the other chair beside Billy.

On the latch-hook rug in front of them, she starts to empty the basket, lining up all her brightly colored bottles of nail polish, slightly dried out after months of not using them. “What color?”

“Why do I have to go first?” Billy asks. All Max has to say in response is a know-it-all “Because I said so.”

“Fine. You pick.” The moment he says it he looks like he regrets it, Max is notoriously bad at making decisions, but she ignores him and starts holding up bottles anyways.

First, after few minutes deliberation, she chooses a pretty dark green, and he scrunches his nose and doesn’t say anything. She picks a purplish color, which he tosses away on the bed, a very firm ‘no’ that makes Max giggle. Then she gives him a bright orange bottle, and he holds in front of his face, studying it before turning that one down too.

“God, if I knew you’d be so annoying I would’ve just painted them all the colors.” She remarks, lining up her polishes so she could do just that.

“That’s actually probably not a very good idea, kiddo.” Looking a little panicked, he digs through the bottles himself, settling on one he pulls away and stares at for a second before handing it to her and telling her, “Just do ‘em red.”

It confuses her, but she agrees regardless, and makes him turn in his seat so he’s facing her and his hands are flat on the floor. His hands are a little shaky, so her paint job isn’t the best, she even drips some on the carpet, which she hopes her mother won’t notice, but Billy doesn’t say anything about the mess.

With his nails done she moves onto his hair, she wants to do double braids like how he taught her to do in her own hair, so she shoves his arm to get him to turn around. “Scoot.”

He lets her push him around until he’s in the right place that she can reach his hair, but once he’s facing the far wall he tells her, “Don’t you dare use that brush on my hair, Maxine.”

“Jeez, relax. I’m not gonna mess up your princess curls.” She mocked, but she still went for the comb to run through his hair instead.

She waited until she could get it through without catching on any tangles before bothering trying to talk to him. When Billy was upset, he tended to clam up, but she didn’t particularly like feeling awkward in the silence, leaving all the talking to the record player. “Can we talk about why you were mad earlier?”

“Nope.”

“Would you tell me if I told you about my day?” She tries, but he shuts it down again with an “Unlikely.”

“I’ll tell you anyways.” Max didn’t know what had happened with Billy, but she knew she hadn’t had the greatest morning herself either. “I had to ask Lucas to bring me home early because me and Mike got in a fight.”

Billy snorted, and spoke with just as much sarcasm as Max had used on him. She learned that from him anyways. “You and Mike? No.”

“Yeah. He was being a total ass about El, trying to like, own her or something, so I told him to lay off ‘cause that’s totally not fair.”

She knew that Billy, having graduated and turned 18 now, was probably getting a little old for this type of drama, but he was a good listener, no matter how much he pretended not to care, always giving little bits of insight and saying things to make her laugh.

She continues, “Well, anyways he like, totally bit my head off for sticking up for her, so then I told him he was just a miserable mouth breather who’s jealous of El being happy, and he tried to kick me out.”

Billy laughed at that, muttering a little ‘ow’ when the action made Max pull his hair, “But you left before he could kick you out right?”

“Duh.” She sighs a little, the fun part of the story over. “Then when we pulled up outside, Lucas said something stupid about it being my fault or whatever, so I dumped him again.”

“Good. I told you not to take any shit from them anymore.” Billy had been less than happy with her friends a lot recently, when she’d come home from school or from hanging out upset over something they said. They never meant to hurt her feelings, but Billy didn’t like it all the same, and made her promise she’d stand up for herself a little more. Like she did to him.

“Yeah, I guess.” It makes her feel light on the inside, to know Billy was proud of her for following his advice, in his own way at least. “So? What happened to you?”

He shrugs again, and blows her off, “It’s nothing.”

“You were crying.”

“Yeah, and it’s none of your business.”

“Maybe not,” she fumbles with the braid and loses it, Billy’s stupid uneven mullet making it way too hard to braid so many different lengths of hair, “But I’m like, an expert now. El says she likes my advice.”

Under his breath, Billy mutters, “‘Course she does.”

Max purses her lips and pretends she didn’t hear that before continuing her offer, “Anyways, I can always try to help.”

“Listen, it’s just stupid dating stuff. Nothin’ you need to be worrying about.”

“But I’m a girl. I can give advice about that.” She thinks about it for a second, “I mean, I know more about being a girlfriend than having one, but it’s probably about the same.”

“Maybe.” Billy mumbles, focusing all his attention on picking at the nail polish that had missed the edges of his nails, and just from the way he tensed up she can tell she’d overstepped Billy’s boundaries in some way or another.

She finishes of the braid she had already started over twice now and puts a blue scrunchie on the end of it, giving him a minute.

When she starts combing out the rest of his hair is when Billy speaks again, not a drop of his distinctly Billy attitude in his words as he admitted softly, “You know, shitbird, I never said anything ‘bout having a girlfriend.”

That’s confusing to her at first, because he had just told her it was a dating thing, but Max’d been hearing all the nasty things Neil said about Billy for years now, and while she might just be a kid, might be the clueless and annoying little sister, she still knew the weight of what he’d just admitted to her.

It had always made her sad, to know Neil didn’t really like Billy, all the mean words he used, ones she wouldn’t dare repeat, to describe Billy and his friends, all the lies he told about him behind his back. But she doesn’t buy it, what her asshole step-dad had to say.

Her brother was cool, and she liked hanging out with him, when he wasn’t being such a jerk. The fact that he had a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend didn’t change that in the least bit.

She hums, trying to gather words and, her voice strained against the outburst of happiness, says “See? I can totally help with boy stuff.”

[red1culous]

Oh part 4

Part 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7

After a few hours chatting with Carol and schmoozing with a few very posh looking people you made your escape claiming there was a kitchen emergency you had to manage. As you rushed up the side entrance of the house you stop mid step, balancing yourself against the railing to massage your calves. How come socialising was more tiring than baking?

“Hey stranger” a gruff male voice breaks your peace and startles you. 

You turn abruptly clutching you chest dramatically. “Barnes I told you to stop sneaking up on me!”

He laughs softly, something you were still not used to, as he shifts to face you on the step he’s sitting on. “Sorry,” he says giving you the once over, “you made these?” he lifts a plate filled to the brim with cupcakes.

You give him a warm smile which he returns with a toothy grin. Bits of cream stick to his stubble. “Depends. You like ‘em?” 

He quirks his eyebrow at you as he takes a huge bite into a cupcake smearing some of the cream onto his top lip and nose. Closing his eyes he lets out a filthy moan which causes you to laugh out loud.

“Ok ok in that case, yes I made them!” you say still laughing a little. He smiles at your admission and pats the stone step beside him. 

“What are you doing all the way back here? Shouldn’t you be out there mingling? Raking in the dollar bills?” you poke your elbow into his side once you’re settled in close enough stealing some of his body heat.

“You make it sound dirty” he smirks as he continues to demolish the plate of cupcakes.

You reach for the napkin he has stuffed in his breast pocket and wipe at his nose. “When you strip it bare, it kinda is like that, isn’t it?” you add.

“Suppose so, doll. Suppose we’re all here to be fucked in the ass.”

You stare at him wide eyed.

“What?” he exclaims.

“What do you mean what? When did you get so potty mouthed?” you answer fixing him a serious look.

He chuckles and mumbles something that sounds like a sorry heavily mixed in with cupcake mix. “Guess you haven’t been around to keep me in line.”

“I couldn’t exactly hang around, Buck. She broke up with me…” you sigh and he wraps an arm around your shoulders to pull you in for a brief side hug.

“I didn’t break up with you” a voice sounds from behind you. It’s so unexpected you shoot up from your seat and stumble backwards only to be stopped by Bucky’s hand grabbing your ankle steadying you a little.

“I didn’t break up with you” she repeats, more defensively this time. 

You laugh shaking your head from side to side. This was bound to happen to why not have it out here and now. “The hell you didn’t! Did I misunderstand you distancing yourself from me? That’s called a breakup.”

Bucky stands and makes to leave but you force him back down by shooting him a deathly glare. He attempts to make himself as small as possible but fails miserably. Instead he busies himself in studying the intricate design of your cupcakes bringing his legs further into his chest rocking gently back and forth. “I was giving you time to think” she says coming out of the doorway so you can see her better.

“Time I didn’t need, Nat” you look at her for a long moment feeling your gaze get even darker, even harder than it already was. “You made promises to me,” your voice gentling slightly as your stomach was knotting around itself. “I believed in them.”

“I never made any promises I couldn’t keep,” she corrects you. Her voice is an octave deeper, rougher than it was before. “I never have and you know that,” she adds, her voice laced with a world of pain and emotions you didn’t want to acknowledge. 

Your own hurt is spiked by her words. It suddenly becomes hard to breathe, or feel anything other than the temper that was rising like bile in your throat. It galloped through you. “Do you expect me to believe you’ve been sitting around mourning over something you caused? You had me eating out of the palm of your hand but I guess that was not exciting enough in the end” you spit. 

“Sometimes two people need to fall apart to realise how much they need to fall back together” she shrugs but you catch a glimpse of vulnerability in the way she looks at you. Her eyes scan your face and you notice the way her chin quivers slightly. 

“Don’t give me that pop culture bullshit” you shake your head again. You wanted to fight, you didn’t want to feel. 

“I need to go…” you trail off making to step away before she lunges forward almost touching you. 

“Wait!” she pulls herself away slightly. “I broke up with you because I’m cold at the core.” Her eyes search yours hopefully before continuing. “Because I have a hard sadistic streak right down the middle of me. I make you love me and then say it’s not good enough.” She stops as you lean back against the railing. It felt as if she had taken one of the knives you knew she had strapped to her thigh and chopped you off at the knees.

You raise an eyebrow and she goes on. “I broke up with you because I play this game where I see how much you can take before it wears you out. Before I force you to leave me.”

“Nat I didn’t come here to fight” you say your voice resigned and more so just tired of having this all dredged up again. 

“I don’t want to break up with you.” She says just as quietly before wrapping her arms around her torso as if she didn’t know what to do with them. 

“We are broken up,” you reply trying to keep your voice as flat as possible.  “What do you want, Nat?” 

“I want to be with you, Y/N. Properly. This time I promise. You and all your fucking breadcrumbs and pastry mix and cream and cookie dough.” She takes a small step towards you, hopeful. Even Bucky looks up at you from his gargoyle pose.

You stare at her. She stares back. You felt your resolve falter. She had read your desire to fight in spite of what you had said and she managed to throw ice cold water over your flames. 

“I love you, Y/N.” She whispers but you hear her loud and clear. “I’m sorry.”

You hated the fact that you were slowly losing the edge on your temper. She was forcing you to feel things you thought you had buried years ago. She was forcing you to look under the rug for your shared history. You wished they could just remain untouched but she had rolled up that rug and everything was up in the air. Exposed. Visible. Real.

You stare her down. You’re sure she can feel the anger simmering off of you. Something thicker and darker than anything before.

“You still love me,” she says eyes glistening slightly.

You scrunch up your forehead at her words. “I’m angry.”

“Yes but that look is also love. You still love me, Y/N” she smiles a little and if you weren’t so conflicted you might’ve allowed yourself to return her smile.

“This look?” you point to your face but don’t deny her either.

“I know you’re pissed off at me” she adds.

“You say that like you’re surprised” you say after a moment. “Of course I’m pissed. Not actively. It doesn’t keep me up at night anymore.” You pinch the sides of your nose. 

“I was in love with you. And you broke my heart. Its taken me a long time to get over that. Over you.” You say after a moment. If she wanted all the cards on the table than she was going to get it. No holds barred.

Her mouth curves slightly but not into a smile. 

You blow out a breath, not feeling entirely steady on your own two feet. “I should really go” you say again.

“Why can’t we fight for this again? Together this time,” she says taking another small step towards you. 

“Because Natasha,” you sigh out loud, “you shouldn’t need to fight for love.” 

You feel sick. Again. Sick of digging into the past. Sick of diving into the dark where you can’t see past your outstretched hand. Where you can’t win and you can’t lose. There was only how much it hurt and how much more it could hurt. 

----

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[foodieforthoughts]

When the ball drops

Summary: It's your third year in the Big Apple and you still haven't found your midnight kiss for when the ball drops, until tonight.

Pairing: Henry x Reader

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: Fluff!!!

A/N: Happy New Year to everyone! ✨ Watching the ball drop on New Year's Eve in Times Square is my ultimate bucket list! Also not beta read, so don't mind the errors, just had to get done in time before @infinite-shite celebrates New Year's before the rest of us! This baby deserves all the love in the world ❤️

*divider by @firefly-graphics

Title: When the ball drops

The cackle of people's laughter ringed through the pub as the hours ticked by. In contrast to the cold winter air of New York, the inside of the enclosed space felt warm. You quickly pulled on your apron and slid behind the bar, relieving your co-worker from their shift. He hugged you for the New Year that was to ring in about an hour later, happily weaving through the crowd towards the staff exit.

You sighed, grabbing the dish cloth to clean some glasses.

The excitement of coming to the Big Apple had quickly died down for you. You had dreamed of living in the city like the various shows potrayed, feeding lies that everything is magical and full of opportunities in this concrete jungle. But you could disagree with all the contradictions between facts and fictions and align them in a PowerPoint presentation. Not only were you yet to secure your dream job, you lived in a mediocre place with little to look forward to everyday.

Another sigh left your lips, your shoulders slumping despite the merriment around.

"That would be the second time you sigh." The crisp accented voice of a stranger sounded from across you. "What's the matter, love?"

You knew who he was. You ogled at his pictures on a regular basis, especially when he became Superman. But he looked nothing like the Henry Cavill you saw on the red carpets. Clad in a plain blue shirt, jaw sprinkled with the hint of a stubble and hair combed to perfection, Henry titled his head at you with a smile. You looked around at the other patrons, unsure if he was talking to you indeed.

Henry chuckled at your look of confusion. He took a seat at the barstool and grabbed the menu from the stand. With a dish cloth still inside the glass tumbler, you stared at the Hollywood heartthrob. The pub you worked at was frequented with celebs on a regular basis, the only downside being you usually worked for the day shift which meant by the time you rolled out of work, the big shots were only just waking up.

"Can I get-"

"Guinness?" You interrupted him. You meant to say it in your head but the word left your mouth before you could control your lips.

But Henry didn't flinch. He just smiled widely, the dimples in his chin dipping charmingly and his eyes shining like the brightest star under the flickering strobe lights. He slid the menu back towards you and clasped his hands together.

You blinked your eyes several times to rid yourself of the flutter in you belly as Henry smiled at you softly. He watched as you got him a glass and filled it up with his beer. Your hands trembled so much with the nervousness of serving an A list actor, who not only was doing well in industry but was exceptionally sexier in person, that you were worried the foam gathered at the top would dribbled down the sides. Noticing your struggle, Henry extended his hands and placed them over yours to secure his glass.

Electricity. In the most clichéd scenarios of romance movies, you felt a jolt of electricity when your hands touched his, the sparks travelling down your spine to your toes. Sucking in a sharp breath you handed him the glass, chiding yourself over your hyper aware mind.

"What is a pretty lady like you working in a bar at this hour?" He asked, sipping his fermented pint of alcohol.

"Coworker has plans with his girlfriend, like everyone tonight." You shrugged your shoulder, going over to another customer ordering drinks. You could feel Henry's eyes on you as you readied the customer's order. The sound of giggling girls pulled your attention just as the man left with his drink.

You walked back to where Henry sat, nursing his beer. "Anything to go with that?" you enquired, rearranging the shot glasses under the bar counter.

"I am still wondering how, in the world, a pretty woman like you, is stuck here."

You scoffed, more to yourself than him. "Because this supposed pretty woman is single as fuck." The mirth in your voice hid the sense of self pity edging at the corners of your mind. It had been three years since you had first arrived in the city with a possibility of reaching for the stars in both personal and professional life. You had been left disappointed with the jerks and assholes you ended up with, ultimately sitting at home and questioning your choices in men.

You noted the softness creasing at the corners of Henry's eyes. The last thing you wanted was to be seen as a miserable bartender at the end of the year, so you cleared your throat and smiled at him. "What is superman doing at a bar, in New York, alone?"

Henry chuckled. His gravelly thick laughter ringing louder than the music in your ears. "I was just stopping by the city, thought I'll stay to understand what the big deal is with the ball drop."

"Oh my God. Watching the ball drop and kissing at midnight is the most romantic thing you can do with your partner. You should be at Times Square!" Your excitement over the whole New Year's Eve shenanigan was flowing through in your speech.

"Too crowded." He shook his head, groaning and sipping his beer.

You rolled your eyes. "As opposed to this cramped pub?"

Henry chuckled again, throwing a wink at you. You felt the familiar flutter in your belly. You peered at him under your lashes, Henry seemed to be having his eyes only for you tonight. The giggling ladies were desperately trying to grab his attention while sipping on their Margheritas wearing their embellished dresses with low cuts and frills. You glanced down at yourself and frowned. Over the faded blue jeans and white t-shirt, you wore the black apron with the pub's insignia on the left breast. You suddenly became profoundly aware of how 'basic' you might look in comparison to the other ladies.

Self doubt clouded your mind. You politely smiled at Henry and hurried to the other side of the bar to serve the other customers. Maybe Henry only wanted someone to play the horizontal hokey-pokey with him for the night, or maybe he was bored and since you were obligated to talk nicely with him, he had pitched a conversation. Whatever the reason, you did not like how the multiple scenarios would end. You knew your feeble, fragile heart. You would get hurt, one way or another.

"Hi," Henry appeared again in front of you. He had his beer in his hand, his other elbow resting on the counter. "Did I offend you in some way?"

"No. But you are pretty much making me realize, how miserable my life is." Your voice sounded bleak against the booming voices. Tucking your hair behind your ear, you watched the couples snuggle up to each other. It had been ages since you had felt the loving embrace of a man, even longer since you had shared a meaningful kiss with someone special.

"What would you have been doing instead?" Henry's voice pulled you out of your desolated reverie.

"I would be in Times Square, with my significant other, which I don't have. We would get some drinks while standing on the outskirts of the crowd and watch the countdown."

There was a stir of activity in the pub as someone announced that there were only 90 seconds to the ball drop. You hadn't even realized that time had passed so quickly whilst you had juggled your conversation with Henry.

"Well, you have the drinks," Henry reached forward to grab a glass and poured half of his beer in the empty tumbler. "We are at the outskirts of the crowd since everyone is huddled near the TV." You nodded as you watched the couples gather near the enormous flat screen mounted on the wall. "We aren't at the Times Square, but we are in New York."

The countdown read 60 seconds with the red numbers counting backwards. Henry stood up and leaned forward on the counter. You watched with bated breath as he grabbed the strap of your apron and pulled you towards him.

His hand rested lightly on your cheek, his thumb grazing your cheekbone. The smell of beer, his perfume and musk enveloped you, bundling you in everything that signified him. You gazed into his cerulean eyes, the fleck of brown going dark against the blue ocean. Your hands hung by your side, flabbergasted by the surprising turn of events.

"I might not be your significant other," His breath washed over your heated face, his eyes transfixed on yours. "But we can perhaps change that."

"Happy New Year!"

Like the fireworks going off on the One Times Square Building, when your lips collided with his, there was a burst of colorful sparks celebrating the union of two people from across the pond. Henry pulled your face closer to his by grabbing behind your head, his fingers threading through your hair. You finally could think straight as you moaned into the kiss, holding onto the collar of his shirt as the pub erupted with loud cheers. In that moment, everything seemed perfect in the world. You felt your legs turn to jelly as Henry pulled back, breathing through his mouth, tugging at your lower lip with his teeth.

The smug smile on his face returned as he sat back on his barstool. You grabbed onto the counter for support as you gulped lungful of air.

"Did that count as something for when the ball drops?" He asked, sipping his beer and watching you from the brim of his glass.

You nodded. The heat on your cheeks traveled down to your chest, a grin spreading on your lips. Biting your lip you reached for the other glass of beer Henry had poured. "Happy new year to me." You announced before clinking your glass with Henry's.

✨HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS✨

[miioouu]

Birthday Girl...

So what if I want a suna x reader x terushima for my birthday? I’m gonna write it myself and no one can stop me ok? Ok! Also, I know some people don’t like the whole stoner idea, but…I’m not one of these people so… anyway! Happy (late) birthday to me!

Warning: smut, threesome, anal, mention of alcohol and weed…

When your friends said they were throwing you a party for your birthday, you thought of a small one, just between your closest peers. But obviously, it’s not the case. The house filled to the brim with people, you’re barely able to breathe, faces you’ve never seen before, you can only assume they’re here for the free alcohol and drugs, and you can’t blame them. Music that was definitely not your preferred genre blasting through the speakers, but right now, with all the booze flowing through your blood, drowning you out, you couldn’t care. It’s not always you get to be the center of attention, and honestly you always avoided it, but it’s a special occasion and how mean of you would it be if you didn’t enjoy your friends’ effort and kindness to the fullest?

That’s what you’re telling yourself, when halfway through the night you found yourself grinding against a much taller man; one of your hand in his fake blond hair, the other holding a red solo cup. His, were on your waist, pulling you oh so close you could feel everything. His breath smelled like a mix of alcohol and smoke, his hands large and hot caressing your skin leaving you burning, his eyes, golden brown had you drowning in their artificial sweetness, but all of that didn’t compare to the way his knee was between your legs. Your clothed cunt pressed on his muscular thigh, the rough fabric of his jeans rubbing on your clit had shivers running through your body. You were so close to losing your mind, so close to falling into insanity, if it weren’t for a foreign voice breaking the two bodies apart. “Hey Terushima, having fun with the birthday girl?” He sounded teasing, his words slurring together; you had to concentrate hard enough to understand. The man glued to your side, Terushima you learned, rolled his eyes, mischievous glint in them, taking the joint from the dark-haired boy’s grip, taking a hit and blowing it to your face, laughing as you glared at, but other than that he ignored you, too interested in answering the other male. “Mhm, man, Suna… you should join! What do you think special girl?” Locking eyes with him, red and hazy, though you can tell he’s checking you. Tongue wetting his lips, taking a step closer to you and breath hitting your face making you rub yourself on the leg still between yours. His voice low and smooth as he growled in your ear “I think that will be a fun present, don’t you think?” Without second thought, you nodded your head, it’s all they needed to go for it.

Walking over each other, hands roaming on each other’s bodies, how you made it to a room without tripping was beyond you. Though that didn’t matter right now. The teeth sinking into the tender skin of your neck, cold metal swiping over it contrasting perfectly against the heat radiating from your body. Nimble hands on your sides, brushes of the tips making you shiver in need as he took off your shirt. So lost between the two of them you couldn’t help but moan, quiet yet passionate eliciting something in them that you were just about to discover. Suna detached himself from you, taking off the rest of your clothes, both whistling as they saw the string of arousal stretching from your heat to your panties as they were sliding down your legs. He then threw Yuuji a look that you couldn’t quite decipher, all you knew is that it got your knees weak in lust. Pushing you back till you were sitting on the edge of the mattress, giving you a kiss and blowing smoke filling your lungs, before backing away slightly, moving his hips to the feint rhythm of the music as he started taking off his own clothes. Giggling a bit, though you followed his every move, drooling as he exposed his abs to your eyes, filling you with the need to glide your fingers against him, but before you get up, Terushima pinned you to place, before joining Suna in his lap dance. Humming along, showing you his pearly whites in a smile as he shimmied down his skin tight jeans, tripping a few times, laughing with you whenever he did so and sending Rintaro a sly smirk when he facepalmed at him. The way their bodies moved and twisted, so gracefully to the beat and slowly making their way to you, had you unconsciously rubbing your thighs together, pussy drooling at just the sight of them. Standing tall and proud, just waiting to be buried inside your holes and the idea of it has you moaning in impatience. Rin was the one to lift you up, sitting down only to drop you in his lap. Your back pressed tightly against his chest, feeling ever ragged breath he took, hearing each and every little groan that let his lips. His hands parting your legs, holding the steady as he watched Terushima kneel before him, his piercing shining under the low light at his tongue poked out, licking a strip between your folds, making sure to pay extra attention to your bundle of nerves. His eyes on your face, watching, observing each of your expressions, the furrow of your brows, your teeth digging into your lower lip, trying to keep the moans at bay but failing miserably as they got louder and louder whenever he sucked on that special pearl. Your body squirming and jumping, grinding and pushing back against Suna’s dick, driving you closer to the edge whenever you felt it twitch. His mouth leaving hues of blues and red on you neck and collar bones, his free hand twisting your nipples, pinching and pulling at them. It was the combination of Terushima’s skillful tongue and Rin’s praises that pushed you over the edge, off of the cliff and drowning in pleasure. Reaching your high, your juices dripping from Yuuji’s face, pooling on Suna’s thighs, and as mind crashing as your orgasm was, you wanted more.

It’s like they could tell. From the grin on their faces, the glint in their eyes, their whole aura had your heart beating faster and heat rushing to your core, again. Pulling you up, the blond’s fingers sending shivers down your spine as they brushed against your skin, placing below your ass to lift you up. So gentle, so uncharacteristically from him, it got your heart squeezing in a foreign feeling. His lips on your neck, peppering kisses and bites. His cock twitching against you, making you moan and whine for more pleasure, and you almost forgot that you weren’t alone when you heard the other man chuckle. Before you could even look at him, the sound of spitting resonated through the room, his dick glistening as he pumped it, spreading his pre all over it before he got up and made his way over. “Such a pretty girl… Tell us, you want to have both of your holes stuffed? Wanna have them both dripping our cum. That would be an amazing sight, what do you think Yuuji?” You couldn’t help but whine, begging them to give you more. His words alone had you clenching around nothing, grinding down and trying to shove the pierced cock inside you, but he squeezed you tighter, preventing you from moving. “Don’t worry baby, you’ll get what you want eventually, just be patient!” With that being said, you felt a finger pushing against the tight walls of your asshole. Slowly making its way deeper into you making you throw your head back and let out a cry in both pain and pleasure, and even more when the high boy inserted another one, scissoring them inside you to stretch you open. The ache slowly became extasy, you soon began to beg for more and more, your walls fluttering around nothing, and the tears gathering in the corners of your eyes was all it took for Terushima to lower you on his dick. Sinking so deeply inside you, he couldn’t care when you told him to slow down, too eager to be balls deep in you. Your nails digging in his shoulders, creating blood crescent you bet he’ll be flaunting around the next day. The fingers in your back hole coming to a stop and withdrawing, Rintaro couldn’t help the deep breath he took, the shiver flowing all through his body while seeing your empty hole clenching. His hands on your hips, holding you still for a moment while he started pushing his length in. inch by inch, the pain was becoming too much, your tears rolling down your cheeks, an agglomeration of both their names leaving your lips in a discomfort whine. They both slowed for a bit, giving you time to adjust; the shorter of the two dipping down and pressing his lips to yours, cold metal swiping across your lower lip, granting him access and letting him discover and explore each and every corner of your wet cavern. The other one, the man behind you, looped his arm around you, slipping it between your and the blond’s bodies, travelling south, between your folds and finding your clit. Pressing on it, circling it languidly as way to distract you; and it worked. Your moans getting louder, your body squirming and moving like it had a mind of its own, asking the males to just get on with it. And how could they refuse you; you are the birthday girl after all! Picking up the pace, both of them thrusting into you, rearranging your insides. Still sensitive from you last orgasm, you couldn’t help your walls fluttering around them, tightening around them. So lost in the pleasure, you mind going blank, incoherent string of words leaving your lips and echoing through the room, thank god for the loud music outside or it would’ve been so embarrassing. Mixed to that was their groans and heavy breath, the sound of skin clapping adding to the symphony. And you can’t help it, none of you could. When the knot inside you broke, your eyes rolled back and tongue lolled out, your head thrown back and your nails clawing, you reached your high, probably the most intense you’ve ever had. And soon after, Yuuji came, painting your insides white with praises falling from his lips like a mantra “You’re so good baby, gosh you’re so fucking tight… gosh you got

me going crazy” His words had you whimpering, eyes fluttering you could barely look at him. And Suna didn’t too long, with a moan of your name he reached climax, pulling out to see his seed spilling out of you. “You naughty girl, you liked having both of your holes destroyed? Don’t worry, the night’s not over….. Enjoy your birthday babe”

[whatifxwereyou]

The Oncoming Storm Part 5: Peace of Mind

Liu Kang x Reader and Kung Lao x Reader (gonna do both, two paths!)

I've decided that when I get to a point where the "choice" is made between Liu and Lao, the stories name will change to help avoid confusion. That way you can follow either path or both. Then I will try to update those as much as I can. I know where both are going for the most part. God, I'm such a cock-tease lol.

This bit is a bit shorter than usual but I plan on updating AGAIN tomorrow! Surprise: Kung Lao will be back tomorrow. Side note: should I draw MC? Anyone into that? And as always, open to suggestions and will include any I like.

Part 4 Part 6 Chapter Index

You jumped upright in bed, the breeze from the window making your sweat covered body shiver. Wiping your face, you searched the room and found that you were utterly alone. In your mind’s eyes you could see the writhing of bodies that had woken you.

It had been a dream.

A wildly inappropriate dream.

Hands trembling, you held your head in your hands. Your face was red and hot and when you closed your eyes, you could see Liu Kang’s strong body over yours and feel his familiar hands. You blinked your eyes and kept them open wide. “Oh boy.” You laughed at yourself and then flopped back against the bed with a frustrated whine. It had been miserably difficult not to let your imagination run wild the day before but apparently all your self-control disappeared when you slept. After the day you’d had and the tension that had built like static when you were fighting, how could you be upset with yourself?

You knew Liu Kang well at this point. Well enough that his touch was familiar. It was cruel and unnecessary of your imagination to do that to you during your sleep. How were you supposed to find your arcana when your brain was made of Liu Kang spaghetti? The attractive, confident, and kind Liu Kang was your teacher and you had to find a way to set a boundary between that and whatever this was. “Calm down, Y/N.” With that you took slow and deep breaths.

Adjusting yourself on the bed you crossed your legs and closed your eyes to meditate. But your imagination betrayed you, and you could feel his breath on your neck and hear his voice in your head. Pinching the bridge of your nose you laughed at yourself but flopped again on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

This was a natural thing. To be attracted to someone you were forming a new relationship with. You were finding your footing as friends and the draw between you would change with time. Deep down you were certain it was more than that and you were dismissing a very obvious attraction between them.

No matter what it was, there was no chance you would trust your imagination to let you sleep. You would have to clear your thoughts and find some peace before you could rest again. Getting up, you changed into the red and black flowing hanfu and decided to take a walk. That would get your mind off the day before and erase the memory of Liu’s, well, everything.

There were very few others walking through the temple that late at night. You decided that you hadn’t slept for long before your dream had woken you. Not dwelling on the memory of it, you kept walking until you were utterly lost and honestly nothing had felt quite as good or wondrous in some time. Raiden’s Temple was beautiful and ancient. Exploring it made you feel like a curious child, which in your opinion, was better than a frustrated adult.

There were many sprawling hallways and you felt that this one was particularly high within the ravine. You caught sight of the night sky through an archway and leaned against the stone. A monk walked behind you with a polite bow carrying a heavy pot filled with water. You nodded in greeting and then stepped onto the platform. At the end of the short platform was a huge statue of Raiden, seated cross legged in meditation.

The sky was radiant, and you wished to be closer to it and considered the roof but instead you set your eyes on the hat of the statue. You carefully climbed up with a few skilled jumps and then sat atop the edge of the hat, overlooking the ravine. Below you could see the fight pit, but it appeared small from there.

Seated atop the statues wide brimmed hat, you got comfortable and admired the brilliance of the night sky. The glassy moon filled the night around it with brilliance, dimming the stars in its halo. Wisps of pale clouds traversed the sky as if carried by invisible birds. You could see the milky way and the sparkling of stars that you had never seen before. You couldn’t remember ever thinking that the sky was this magnificent. In those moments you felt lucky to be alive and privileged to see the world in such a way.

It seemed funny then that your home popped into mind. There had been times where you’d sat on the roof of your apartment above the dojo and watched the sky, but it had never felt like this. That life felt so foreign now that you were oddly detached from it. Hopefully, your sister was okay. Your mother had passed away years ago and your father had stayed with your sister while you took care of the dojo in his honor.

Did they think that you died in the fire? What had become of the dojo? Had any of it survived? Did they think you’d done it and murdered those men? Were you a wanted criminal now? Had Kung Lao told anyone what had become of you? You had a thousand questions for your childhood friend, but you weren’t sure that you were ready for the answers either.

“Y/N?” You sat upright and turned in search of the voice. Liu Kang was staring up at the statue curiously. You peeked over the edge and offered him a wave despite your stomach doing a flip at the sight of him. With a confident grace, he leapt atop the statue and joined you. You returned to your spot, sitting comfortably on the hat and he sat next to you. Together you stared into the starry night, admiring the beauty of Raiden’s Temple. Every so often you heard the footsteps of another monk making their way but there was little else besides Liu’s controlled breathing and the occasional shifting of his prayer beads from his hand to his wrist. “Are you okay, Y/N?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” You decided to be honest. You weren’t a big fan of lying but telling Liu the absolute truth of your dream was a level of embarrassment and honesty you weren’t prepared for. “My mind and heart were all jumbled up, so I came to find some peace.”

“Did you find the peace you were looking for?”

“I did.” You decided with a smile. What you were feeling toward him wasn’t a bad thing, you’d decided. It was a conflict in your mind still, but not all conflict was bad.

“Seated atop a dangerously tall and ancient statue overlooking the most perilous of pits?”

“The view can’t be beat. And it’s private.”

“And yet I invaded your privacy as I often seem to do.” Liu turned to face you, his arm rested against one knee.

“It’s only an invasion if it’s not welcome, Liu.” You reassured him. Silence fell again but it wasn’t the warm and comforting silence you’d become accustomed to with Liu Kang. He radiated with both fire and uncertainty. “Are you okay?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” He brushed his fingers again over the prayer beads. “I decided I would check on you and as I made my way, I felt that someone was up here.”

“Oh?”

“Your energy is tangible,” he said all while avoiding your eyes. Your eyebrows shot straight up your forehead.

“So, you knew it was me?” The butterflies were back. He was good at that. Liu nodded. “That’s remarkable.” So much for peace of mind. Were you ever going to manage sleep again without your renegade thoughts getting carried away? “I’m glad that you found me.”

“Your energy reminds of a shadow flickering beneath the lamplight. I’m curious. Can you sense my energy, as well?” The confidence had returned to him. There was still something beneath his confident exterior that you couldn’t decipher, and you watched his thumb carefully brush over each of the beads in his hand. “I think it could be common to sense others with a dragon marking.”

“Yes, I can.” You chose your words carefully. “I always thought that your presence was fiery, but I didn’t realize that was literal until earlier.” Liu turned to face the edge of the statue again and his brief smile faded. You adjusted to face him better, careful of your footing. “What’s on your mind, Liu?”

“You were in my dreams.” He seemed sad. Inwardly, you panicked. He’d been in your dreams too, but something about his demeanor made you feel as though it were in a quite different context. How were you supposed to process any of this? “I lost you.”

You made sure not to let the sigh of relief be audible. “You lost me?”

“Not the best phrasing but no less the same. You died.” Liu said this with such finality that it shook you, and a chill ran down your spine. “I couldn’t go back to sleep with that image of you in my head. Selfishly, I needed to see your living and breathing self.”

“Liu…”

“I know that you’re capable, Y/N. I can see why Kung Lao values you so highly. I suppose that it is natural to fear for someone that you’ve bonded with. And we have bonded, haven’t we?” You were at a complete loss for words. He’d said a lot without saying much at all and you were left to interpret it as you would. What terrible timing. Your heart was so confused. “Am I wrong?”

“No, you’re not wrong. We’ve bonded.” You decided then to confess at least part of what was keeping you awake that night. No details, just a small bit of truth. “I dreamt about you too. It woke me up and when I couldn’t find the peace to return to sleep, I wound up here.” You smiled weakly and turned back to face the sky. “I tried to meditate the stress away but in truth I’m used to meditating with you, so it brought me no peace.” Liu seemed oddly relieved by your confession. If only he knew the truth. You weren’t sure how he would react. In fact, your face burned just thinking about it.

“I assure you that I’m capable, Y/N. I’ll be fine.”

“I know.” You said nothing else on the matter. He hadn’t been in danger in your dream, in fact, quite the opposite. You sat in silence again and much to your surprise, he shifted, scooted closer and slipped his arm around you shoulder. His hands were warm even through your sleeves.

“Until you’ve mastered your arcana and healed then you are the one that we should worry about. There’s still time before the tournament, but it doesn’t mean that we will be entirely without danger.” Liu gave your shoulder a comforting squeeze. “The sooner you can control your arcana, the better.”

“I know that with your help I’ll manage sooner rather than later.”

“That’s a lot of faith in me.”

“In us both.” You smiled at him. He adjusted, arm falling away from your shoulder. You missed it instantly. His arms were warm and strong. “This is a hurdle we will conquer.” You turned to watch the stars again and pulled your knees closer to your chest, resting one arm over them, the other resting between you and Liu. Liu’s eyes were on you. You could feel them watching you rather than the sky. He needed to see that you were okay and that his dream was just that. Whatever came next, you were ready for it. One way or another, you would fight. Still, he did not turn his gaze and you were distracted by him. “You’re staring.” You let your gaze flitter to him out of the corner of your eye.

“You get this look on your face while you’re thinking. It’s fascinating to watch your expression shift and change even minutely.” The fondness of his voice was overwhelming. To be spoken of with such reverence made you feel better than anything ever had. “You feel your emotions very deeply. It is a gift.” He turned his gaze back to the night sky, right arm rested on his knee. His left hand then found yours between them and rested atop it.

You swore you might be blushing for the rest of your days at this rate. The fondness of his voice and the gentleness of his hand made your heart race. You supposed that when you thought about it, you had flirted on and off. At the very least you had grown fond of each other. There’d been plenty of close calls the last few days, but you hadn’t been sure if you were overthinking or not. But this moment was far more transparent. An arm around you. His hand over yours. Deliberate displays of intimacy.

You weren’t sure you could sit still much longer thinking like this, so you turned to ask him if he wished to study. Instead, you clammed up and found him far closer to you than you had anticipated. You could feel his breath, the warmth radiating from his energy, surrounding you like a distant and welcome flame. He admired your face, stopping at each of your features with his dark eyes, and then brushed your hair away. This was an intimacy that you had grown quite fond of but also it was different than before. His fingers left a ghost of a touch against your forehead and your cheek, gently tucking your hair behind your ear. The fear in his eyes had gone, the nerves and uncertainty had gone with them. All that was left to his stare was warmth and admiration.

His hand brushed against your jaw softly and then rested against your cheek, his thumb brushing just beneath your eye. He tilted you closer. Your heart stopped in your chest and you didn’t breathe for fear that it would stop him. It was a moment you never wanted to end. Eyes half-lidded you caught a glance of his lips, parted ever so slightly and nearing yours. Then a horrid crash echoed from behind the statue.

In an instant, you were apart and both sliding to the other side of the statue in search of the sound. Liu leapt from the statue gracefully and you peered over the side, catching your breath. Below you could see a monk there, speaking with Liu. There were pieces of something shattered on the ground. You carefully climbed from the statue to join them.

The monk muttered his apologies. Liu had bent down to clean up the shards of the pot that had been dropped. Water was spread over the stone floor. Your fingers were numb and the action of helping clean up the shattered pot felt surreal. Honestly, the entire night had felt surreal. From waking up from an inappropriate dream, to staring at the stars with Liu. The monk bowed his head and took the shards with him as he made his way to wherever he was meant to. You stood upright and fixed your hair. You could feel that Liu’s eyes were on you again. Even though you were no longer seated close together or even touching, the tension hadn’t faded.

“We should rest.” The fog of the moment had at least cleared, and you knew that if you didn’t go to bed now then you’d likely wind up doing something irresponsible with Liu Kang. Why were you resisting this obvious tug? It seemed oddly taboo, though you couldn’t place your finger on the reasons why. You were both consenting adults, so why shouldn’t you embrace this? Oddly enough, you felt guilty even at the thought.

These emotions were far too complex for the middle of the night.

“I’ll walk you to your room.”

“Thank you, Liu.” Together you walked through the hall of the temple and you were suddenly grateful to have him guiding you. You’d wandered so far and so aimlessly that you had no idea where you’d wound up. It would have taken you ages to find your way back. You opened the door to your room and leaned against it with a smile. “Try and get some rest, will you?”

“You too, Y/N.” He peered behind you into the room, and you followed his gaze to where the book laid on your desk.

“…did you want to read?” You were sure sleep wouldn’t come easily and Liu seemed reluctant to leave. You were reluctant to let him go.

“Are you sure? It’s late.”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t.”

Liu didn’t ask twice and so you opened the door the rest of the way and allowed him inside with you. You sat on the floor, leaning against the bed, and Liu picked up the book and joined you at your side. His familiar voice was like a lullaby and only a few minutes past before you were drifting in and out of sleep with your head on his shoulder. If Liu noticed, he didn’t say anything or move you. He kept reading. Before you knew it, you were out cold.

[kuuderekweenfics]

Dabi is Not a Liar

Hello everyone,

This is it. I’ve fallen off the precipice of...what exactly? Sanity? Or, perhaps, lack of shame? Who knows. But this was a fun little piece I wrote about a month ago. I put it up on AO3, but I thought I’d create a Tumblr for future fics since this is a bit more social.

Please keep in mind that I am shaking the dust off my writing and so it may not be the most polished piece of work. Go easy on me. But I hope you enjoy it regardless!

Explicit Warning: non consent or extremely dubious consent.

Fingernails carve into the the filthy brick of the abandoned building nestled by the sea. The pier moaned, it’s cold breath wrapping around your body and reeking sourly of fish and decay. 

Your head hangs low between your hollow arms. How you got yourself into this position is due to several reasons, of course. One, your brain is swollen twofold in your skull, pounding with the weight of lead. Two, shame caresses every part of your body far more thoroughly than the man who currently has you trapped between him and the wall. Three, and most likely the most crucial reason, Dabi, ‘the Cremator’ as he was so often called, has been railing you senseless for the past hour.

You cried yourself dry after about ten minutes. He came quickly the first time, unabashedly getting off on your whimpers and pleas. Where he dug up the stamina to keep his cock hard for another three rounds was a dull ache for your mind, and pussy, to ponder over. 

The strength in your knees escaped long ago. His fingers gripping your bare ass as he currently pounds himself into you, deeper and deeper each time, is the only support you have against gravity. 

He attempts some foreplay occasionally, killing the space between the two of you as he whispers into your ear threats of what is to come and reaches under you to thrash at your clit rough and carelessly. This is, you figured out, more to his benefit than yours; he had to get you more motivated to continue the little game he set for the both of you somehow. You mewl softly when he does, cursing your needy body for betraying your wants.

Because this isn’t what you want. No, no, no. Not even if his thick, veiny cock fills you to the brim and sometimes hits a spot in your core that makes you see stars and silently beg, much to your humiliation, for more.

What you want is to go pro. You just started working for a small agency start up only a week ago. You’ve dedicated to becoming a top ten hero, even if your quirk isn’t the most convenient. But if a guy who’s power was to do laundry could make it to the top, so can you and your absurdly comical gacha quirk. You are able to generate capsules from your hands, ranging anywhere between the size of a tennis ball to a beach ball, but the contents inside are always random. This little inconvenience made your quirk almost entirely useless. Despite it all, you trained hard and got a once in a lifetime opportunity at this agency. Your task today was to survey the pier for any suspicious activity called in by a concerned citizen. You were strictly told not to engage and call for back up as soon as you surveyed something worthwhile. But you immediately ran in, all too confident in your ability at hand-to-hand combat, as if you had something to prove. You crouched behind stacked crates and fumbled through your creations: a teddy bear, a toaster, a tennis racket. Before you could generate another capsule, you heard his whistle behind you. He was crouched, hands lazily in his pockets and looking over your shoulder with a deadpan expression that plainly said you were in over your head. 

But you knew you were quick. The tennis racket sped toward its target only to be crumbled to ash as his hand stopped it an inch from the side of his head. He smiled at you then, not quite reaching his eyes but eerie and menacing all the same. And before you could even fathom throwing the toaster, he pinned your neck to the wall. Your feet kicked helplessly against the brick, unable to find purchase on the floor a inches below. One of your hands pried at his arm while the other reached for his face or his neck or anything you could grab hold of that could cause enough pain to lot weaken his grip. Your breaths came up short, your lungs screamed for a sip of air. 

“It looks like a little mousy lost her way,” he chuckled. “Now whatever am I going to do with you?”

Drool leaked from your mouth as you fought against your restraint and blurred vision. Your mind clawed for consciousness, your body begged for survival. You had come to terms that one day you could potentially meet your end at the hands of a villain, as does any hero in this field of work, but you hadn’t expected it to be so soon. 

You felt the obstruction in your mouth before you saw it. The thumb of his free hand pressed on your dancing tongue, drool pooling where he held it down firm. If the look in his eyes scared you before, now they were wild and carnal and more terrifying. 

He first has his way with you with his hand still around your throat. He let up on his grip and was so gracious enough to let you wrap your legs around him while he impales you without a second thought. 

He grunts. “Fuck, you’re tight.”

You are no longer a virgin, but you’re sure you never experienced cock of this size, all the while without some form of foreplay. Granted, he used your drool to lubricate himself before sheathing himself deep in your gummy walls, the friction elicits a gasp of pain while from you as he moans and nips at your neck. Not long after he begins to thrust do you start sobbing, and soon after that he shoots inside of you, his cock twitching to unload what feels like everything he had. You hope it is over then. He would either kill you or leave you there broken physically and mentally. You find out soon enough it is neither.

“I’m gonna fuck you until your voice is gone from screaming my name, little mousy,” He gasps into your shoulder as the twitching finally ebbs and his release oozes down your thigh. “I’m gonna fill you with my cum until I am sure that when I leave you in this shithole, you will have a little part of me with you for the rest of your miserable life.”

And if there is one thing you can call Dabi, among the million curses and names you can conjure, you aren’t sure if you can call him a liar. For true to his word, albeit only partially, he comes into you, hard and relentless, two more times before starting once more. You are absolutely positive this goes against all modern male biology. But you guess, in a world with bizarre quirks, anything is possible.

Halfway through round four, you feels his fingers weave into your hair and, for a moment, you think Dabi just may capable of being passionate. Or, at the very minimum, maybe he thinks more of you than just a bucket for him to shoot his load in. This moment, you find, is fleeting as he yanks your head back and pulls you up until your back lies flat against his chest. He slowly pulls the zipper of your shirt down and grabs your breast callously, pinching your nipple hard until you cry out. 

You can only imagine that he’s grown bored of your silence and complacency because his other hand reaches around until his fingers find your clit, exposed and hungry for some well-deserved stimulation. His fingers rub small circles against it, and you feel nauseated as you let out a moan, your pussy clenching desperately around him in newly kindled desire.

He hisses at your reaction, an obvious stamp of approval and continues flicking your bundle of nerves as he pumps in and out of you. “Say my name.”

Your mind, which, up until this point, had been lost in a sea of fog, finally breaks the surface. And it is pleading with you to not give in. He speeds up, each thrust hitting the right spot and oh no, oh no, it feels so fucking good.

“Say my name, little mouse.”

Your core coils tight with stimulation, the spring on the precipice of release with the pressure of his calloused fingers. The ache you had felt up until then is replaced with an immense pleasure that you haven’t felt in, let’s face it, ever. You stand on your toes to give him a better angle. Your hands searched for something to anchor onto. One mindlessly reaches above to grab onto his hair as he licks you, hot breath warming your already flush neck, the other latches onto your ignored breast.

“Say it.”

You bucked against him, almost there, almost there, so very close....

Until he becomes utterly and completely still. 

“No, no. Please, Dabi! I need it. Fuck me, please Dabi!” You sob. 

And with that, you feel a smirk form against your neck. He pulls out of you and before you can so much as whimper, he shoves you back onto a large crate. He grabs one leg and forces it up and over his shoulder as he penetrates you, holding your waist to keep you steady as he pumps in fast and hard. His hip bumps into your overstimulated clit with each thrusts and it nearly obliterates you. In this new position, his cock kisses your cervix and, if you ever had any semblance of control since being pounded into, it has all but disappeared.

“Dabi! I’m going to...Ah, shit, I’m gonna...”

As you begin convulsing, you hear his name, loud, hot and heavy, escape from your lips. Your release sends him over the edge, and he ruts into you. 

Just as quickly, he slides out of you, places himself back into his pants and walks out with his hands in his pockets without a word before the cum can so much as leak out of you. You lay still and let the world refocus before you get up and go home. You come to realize that he didn’t so much as care if you came or not, and that the fact that you had was a happy coincidence on your part. What he was really aiming for was you to scream his name, just as he said you would. How little regard villains had felt about others left you in awe. Can you really go head to head against him or any other villain again? 

You submit your resignation the next day.

And two months later, as you stand wide-eyed and frozen over the test exposing itself to you on the bathroom sink, you can finally confirm that Dabi is, in no way shape or form, a liar.

[fe-husband-heaven]

Ahaha...ahahaha...ahaHAHAHA

This has been sitting in my drafts for ages but I finally worked up the energy to actually finish it-

(18+)

Summary: Alfonse does an oopsie😳😳😳

Alfonse shot up with a gasp, panting and disheveled, it took a few seconds before he could take a moment to realize where he was. His head was spinning, and his hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat. He swallowed thickly, and took a moment to gather his bearings. He rubbed at his temples, willing away the headache he could feel gnawing at his mind. He tried to ignore the way he could feel his lower half pulse with warmth.

But it failed miserably when he realized that his undergarments shouldn't have felt as wet as they did.

He gulped, and with a pit forming in his stomach, he peeled back the covers of his bed. A wet patch he could see soaked into his deep blue garments had a feeling of guilt straining his throat. With a shaking hand, he clasped the hem of his underclothes and pulled it back, whimpering at what he saw.

He was coated in cum, his length was slick with his seed, twitching at the sudden cold air. His cock pressed against his underwear, making a tent of his garments, not yet satiated from having released just once. It almost hurt.

Alfonse felt his eyes sting, and a cold sweat had begun running its way through his body.

He'd dreamed about having sex with his partner, of having his summoner in such a lascivious manner, about violating the bond of friendship they'd formed.

He felt sick.

Now, he was sure it'd be too late. Too late to get rid of those feelings that had formed without his permission, too late to look at his summoner the same way he had when he first met them, and too late to erase the images in those dreams from his mind.

He remembered everything. He'd heard once that you forget what most of your dreams once you're awake...clearly, that piece of information was failing him now.

He could still recall the curve of your back, the way your skin dipped under his fingertips as he held your hips in place, and worst of all, he could remember the loving mewl of his name falling from your lips.

His member twitched again, and another hot wave rippled through his stomach. He buried his face in his hands and sighed in frustration. It burned, he was so hard it was almost painful, the slightest movement only furthered the heat.

Exhausted by the entire situation, Alfonse fell tiredly back on the bed, an arm across his forehead as he thought about what to do. Everytime he closed his eyes in hopes that he could simply will away the problem, it only resulted in conjured up images of you in every position he could think of.

Blood would rush right back down, it was a vicious cycle. 

He even considered a cold shower at the baths but if he were to leave his room in this state… it'd be near impossible to hide the bulge in his pants.

With a shaky breath, Alfonse begged the heavens to forgive him for what he was about to do.

Slipping a hand slowly into his undergarments, a hand wrapped tentatively around his length, his breath hitched as the smallest touch on his sensitive length was torturous. His hand gave a hesitant pump of his member, Alfonse gritted his teeth as the feeling made his hips rise from the bed and into his hand, his body desperate to keep the touch going.

He'd hoped to simply finish quickly and then rid himself of every reminder of what transpired but it seemed that no matter what mindless rutting he did against his palm, his body refused to give in to release. Frustration was beginning to grow with each stroke, he had been trying his hardest to keep out of mind his beloved Summoner, in hopes of not tarnishing them further.

But it seemed as though he wouldn't have his way at all tonight, his vision clouded with tears as he let himself slip into the onslaught of images his mind had kept from his dreams. He'd wanted so badly to avoid sullying you further but it was clear the moment he allowed his thoughts to wander over to you, the kind of effect you had on him.

His hips jerked up at the first flash of you having your lips wrapped around his cock, looking up at him with half lidded eyes and flushed skin. From there, the variety of positions that his mind threw before him was almost shocking. From having you bent over the edge of a table in the library as he sunk himself deeper inside you to the obscene imagery of your legs snaked around his waist as he ravished you in the middle of the castle's main hall.

All of it propelled him further through his chase for release, with his eyelids shut tight, the wet slap of his cock being worked up and down desperately by his hand seemed to be a thousand times louder as it rang in his ears.

A strangled cry past his lips forced him to muffle his voice with his free hand as his mind plunged further into the myriad of sin that it had dragged you into. Alfonse cursed himself as he sank into imagining it was your hand that was clenching and rubbing his length, his hips refused to stop lifting off the bed with each pump. 

He loved you.

He knew it, he'd known for a long time now, but he had always prayed that those feelings would simply dissipate on their own, through the course of time. He had no such luck, the more time you had spent as his side, the stronger he felt about you. He never meant to see you in such a light but you were so kind and warm to him that any effort to keep you away was near impossible.

Hot tears spilled over the sides of his face as shame and guilt overtook him, you were his precious partner, and yet here he was, wondering if you were perhaps in your own bed mirroring his actions with your legs spread, writhing on your bed, calling his name.

Maybe you returned his affections, wishing for nothing else but for him to burst through your door and fill you to the brim as he murmured his love in between sweet loving kisses. Maybe your body was quaking and jutting in rhythm with your hand as you thought of him making love to you with a heart full of nothing but undying adoration.

His back arched as he felt himself reaching closer and closer to his desired freedom, the hand that had been silencing his moans flitted down to meet his other hand, forming a circle for his member to fuck into. A poor substitute for the heat and wet slickness of your insides that he remembered from his dream.

Your name fell from his lips in between his lewd pants, he was so close, and he could feel it in the tightening feeling along his stomach. 

The visage that followed would be what pushed him over the edge. 

It was pure and sweet, even if it involved him being buried to the hilt inside you, he'd envisioned you lovingly brushing away stray strands of hair from his face before pressing a kiss to his lips.

'I love you, Alfonse.'

With an arching back, Alfonse was left to cry your name amidst frantic declarations of his own I love you's. His chest was painted with the shame of his lust, love, and guilt, all mixed into one. The ropes of pearly white that spurted from his cock felt like a stain on his skin as he came down from his high.

Alfonse gritted his teeth as his throat constricted painfully, he was awash with contempt for himself, he had cum to the thought of his cherished Summoner, and he had enjoyed every second of it.

He felt dirty.

Hopelessness clutched at him as he whimpered through bleary eyes, his pillow was growing damp with the tears it collected. He was spent emotionally and physically, his hair was plastered to his forehead and the lingering proof of his deed was still splayed across his skin.

He would get no sleep that night. Mortification would be his companion for the remaining hours till morning, along with the question of how he could possibly bring himself to face you tomorrow.

[seijohsfairy]

𝙼𝙸𝚂𝙵𝙸𝚃

Bokuto has a big personality, and an even bigger body. All you can do is try your best to take him whole and make sure you’re his good girl. day 06 of kinktober

tw size kink, branding, oral (receiving), insecurities, squirting, subspace, soft to hard dom, little bit of blood .wordc. 3.5k

Your eyes flick down in embarrassment as he spits on your pussy, before he’s rubbing his thumb back in your mess of slick and spit, rolling your oversensitive clit again and again. “Don’t worry, we’ll go slow,” he smiles encouragingly when catching your eye, dipping back down on his knees so pull your ass a bit further off the bed. His face is back between your legs for the nth time today, pointed tongue flicking between your swollen lips and rubbing up to your clit. You close your eyes again, and hold onto the bed sheets with tight fists. As encouraging as your amazing boyfriend is to you, you feel bad. Because you feel undeserving when you still struggle to take him every time.

It takes so much prep, and you have to go so slow, but Bokuto just is that big. The first time you ended up in bed together you made an excuse and left because you got so spooked, though he’d made you want to stick around after another two dates anyway. Because Bokuto is lovely.

He’s an amazing boyfriend and you two fit together so well that you can’t even imagine breaking up without tearing up. You love him. Which is also why you feel so frustrated, since your body just seems too small for him to fit into. He’s big in everything he does and with every part of his being, and that also counts for his huge cock. “Feel good, little bunny?” he asks, licking up some of the wetness around his lips with an obscene smack.

But you stay quiet for a moment to collect your thoughts, already thinking back to yesterday. You had tried and failed miserably to take him, and though Bokuto would never say it, you have to assume that he’s getting fed up. When his hands spread your thighs a little more, you take your bottom lip into your mouth, humming so softly it could go unnoticed. His breath on your wet pussy is enough to have you clenching around nothing. But then you feel a soft kiss further down your thigh, and another one at your knee, his hands sliding up and down the sides of your legs so softly. You open your eyes to see your boyfriend watching you with a small smile, understanding pooling in his eyes.

“Baby,” he says, kissing along your shin and ending up at your ankle, peppering kisses there where he rests your foot on his shoulder. “My sweet, little bunny. You have to talk to me, y’know.” You take in his entire shape at the side of the bed for a moment and shiver. Your boyfriend, on both knees flushing and thick thighs still covered in his boxers. This huge man who has the kindest expression on his face when watching you, spread wide open for him. You feel undeserving, even though you know Bokuto doesn’t think like that. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I’m perfectly content making you cum like this and—”

“I want to more than anything, Koutaro, but it’s always so overwhelming,” you whimper softly, looking up at the ceiling against the oncoming tears. “And you’re gonna get fed up with me and find someone else and—”

“Woah, woah, hey, silly girl,” he moves from the ground to come hover over you, lifting you by your waist and sliding you back onto the bed. So easily, it only reminds you more of how strong and safe he is, and you automatically wrap your arms around his neck. His kisses come softly at first, your lips and tangling with your tongue and a moan. He tastes entirely like you, but you don’t mind. Then he pulls back to brush his fingertips along your cheek. “Listen. You’re perfect for me, alright? You take me so well, and you’re always so pretty for me when you do.” You pout at that, closed eyes still letting some wetness slip. “Hey, look at me,” he says, and when you don’t, “little one, look at me now.”

You follow his order to be met with those perfect, golden eyes, his body hovering over you by resting on his forearms. “Don’t you believe me when I tell you that I love you?” You shake your head and play with the soft hairs at the base of his neck to calm yourself a little. ‘I do’, you mouth. He nods. “So take my word for it then. I love this pretty body. I love wrecking your tiny cunny too, and I love watching you struggle to take me.” He kisses you again, then sits up. “You want to stop for tonight?”

“No,” immediately you sit up, grabbing at his hand and pulling it back to your body. “Please, I want you. I want to feel you, Kou, please.” A small whine comes from your throat when he giggles, your eyes looking wide and rimmed with tiny, glistening tears. “Was just frustrated with myself,” you mumble. He smiles in understanding, before sitting down so he can scoot back against the headboard.

“Come on then,” he coos, patting his thick thigh encouragingly, “you little thing.” You peek out your tongue to wet your lips, feeling your slick even on your thighs and getting cold in the open air. You’re definitely prepped enough to try, at least. He places his big palms either side of your waist, grinning when you shiver. “You like that huh, bunny? Being so small compared to me. I know you do,” he pulls you closer so you can settle your legs, with some strained effort, around his. The bulge in his boxers is almost criminally big, and you know from memory that he’s not even totally hard yet. “You always get this glint in your eye when I make you say it.” You lower onto his clothed bulge with a whimper, his hard cock slotting between your thighs so perfectly. “So say it.”

“Yes, I love being your little bunny. I love taking your cock, even if it’s too big for me.” Your words are a little rushed, but your attention is entirely on the way you drag your hips up and down him, and how good it feels. “Koutaro, I want to have you inside,” you say. He nods, and presses a few kisses to your lips and neck.

“I know. Gonna let me stretch you out?” Your head bobs instantly, shivering again when his large palms slide up your thighs to knead your ass between his fingers. You hope he leaves marks that will stay. You carefully dip your fingers around the edge of his boxers, peeling it away from his body. The flushed head of his cock is a pretty pink, sticking to the wet patch of his boxers from how long he’s been at it already. You don’t allow yourself to feel bad this time, just anticipating all of him as deep as he can go and clenching for him. “This fat cock is all yours, little one. Doesn’t that make you happy, huh?”

“Yes, I love your cock so much. It’s so big.”

He slides one of his hands between you to stuff his fingers in again, scissoring your gummy walls open for him another last time. Then he uses your slick to slip his tip in and out of his fist a few times, groaning softly. “Yeah? Come sit on it then,” Bokuto mumbles, as you rub his thick head between your legs and over your puffy clit, “we’ll go at your pace.” He holds onto your hips with a tight grip, as you lower yourself onto him. Even just the first inch is a wide stretch, and you have to set your knees further apart as you hold onto his shoulders. You bite your lip, lashes flicking up and down at the sting, and you can’t help but whine his name. “Gentle, be gentle,” he says, pressing his mouth to yours again.

You slide down a little more with each deep breath, being stretched open even wider. His warmth, the press of his inside you, it all feels so good. You moan into his mouth, trying to roll your hips on his too-big cock head. The pain of the stretch is easy to push aside when he groans out your name. You drop your face forward and blow out slowly, digging your fingers into his muscles. Even if you tried you wouldn’t be able to keep quiet, the whines slipping from you without your control. Your thighs burn from the strain, but you want him so bad. He’s so big that even the veins on the underside of his cock are enough to have you moaning and crying for him. Entirely being spread open for him, the warm glow in your belly traveling up your veins. When he’s in halfway, you glance up at him though your tears, your walls fluttering around him without aim. It doesn’t feel like you’ll ever get him in all the way, his cock is still getting thicker and you’re already spread so thin.

But your boyfriend looks heavenly. Blissed out, even though you’re nowhere near taking him all. “Koutaro,” you say, and his pretty eyes find yours immediately, “I want to- t-take more. Please.”

“You’re so fucking tight, bunny,” he grunts, one hand leaving your waist to tilt your face towards him. “Come here.” He motions your face to the side with his nose to kiss you more deeply than before, pulling you closer to his warm chest. You slip lower too sudden, crying into his mouth at the stretch. Fuck, you feel like you’re about to rip apart. But you want him all, you need him to fill you to the brim. Disconnecting your mouths, he looks down between your bodies at the way your little slit is stretched around his huge cock, and moans. “I don’t know if you can take any more, baby.”

“No,” you squeak, “no, I want it. I want it, please, Kou. Please, give me more please.” Your legs are trembling now, able to give out any moment. Your entire body feels weak, like you’re using every muscle to just take him inside. The silver haired man grunts at your persistence to take him all, but eventually nods. It’s just so cute how badly you want it, want him. He could never deny you and your teary eyes when looking so pretty and desperate for what belongs to you.

“Want me to help you?” You nod, taking his large hand and wrapping yours around two of his thick digits, your other hand finding purchase on his toned stomach.

“Yes, please. I can take it, I can be good for you,” you babble, staring between your bodies. It’s so hard to think of anything else when he feels like he’s about to break you open. “I can be your good girl, Kou. Please make me take it all.” That’s all he needs to lift you from him a little, groaning at the way your clenching hole spasms around him, before letting you back down. The fit is impossibly tight. Your breasts heave up and down with your laboured breathing, and he drops his face back to your neck and chest to slot his mouth there.

“Good girl, agh— fuck, my good, little bunny,” he mumbles, sucking hickies into your soft flesh. With each gentle roll of his hips, his cock digs deeper inside your wet cunny, like it’s carving it’s shape into you. He’s so deep you feel like you can’t even breathe, but it feels so good. So, so good. You cling onto your boyfriend with the last bit of strength you have, placing little kisses on his peck and sucking at the skin too.

“Kou, s’big, too big,” you whimper, “wan’more. You’re so big, Kou.” At this point, you probably don’t even know what you’re saying anymore, which makes him chuckle.

“I’m gonna lay you down, alright?” he huffs before you give a vague hum of agreement. Grabbing your hips tight, he lifts you a little to make sure he doesn’t slide too deep too quickly, and topples you over onto your back with him on top. Your cute, little mouth hanging open and glistening with your spit, your chest rising and falling rapidly. He’s barely fucked you, and you look devastated in the best way. It really does swell his chest with pride. “My little bunny, taking me so well. Look at you, baby, you look like you’re gonna cum already.”

You nod your head a bit crooked, eyes fluttering open again to grab for hair at the base of his skull, and hum softly. “Gon’ cum, wanna—” Your useless little body shifts a little when he pulls out again, sliding back in and reaching the very end of your cunny with still more to fit in. Your clenching so tight around him and sobbing with pleasure, his cock big enough to hit every part of you perfectly. “Kou, please,” you beg again, breathing hard as he slides in again. He smiles as he kisses your parted lips, feeling your little tongue on his. ‘Cum,’ he demands, brushing his fingertips over your clit just once. And your body immediately follows, clenching so tight around him he feels a bit lightheaded. “Fuck, mhm-holy shit.” You whimper and cry and moan out all kinds of unintelligible curses as you cum around his fat cock, tears slipping down your temples. “Ah- aah Koutaro, love how big you are. Wan’more.”

“More?” he asks as he brushes his thumb over your lip, pulling out as soon as your grip on him loosens a bit, pushing back in to press at your cervix. As bad as he knows it to be, it’s so tempting to try and over-stuff you, but your belly is already bulging. “You want me to really fuck this pretty cunt, hah?” Your response is a dozen slurred mumbles of ‘yes’, as you arch your back to brush your tits to his chest. You’re so tiny under him, it really is impressive that you take him this much. That you love him this much. “You sure?” You nod, smacking your lips. In response he smiles, and kisses you again. “Alright, hang on, pretty thing.”

Then he pulls out until only his tip remains inside, and slides back into the very brim. You cry out, nails digging into his shoulders now, as he sets a pace that has you seeing heaven. In and out, hitting every part of your walls on the way, hip bone hitting your clit with each pump. “Hnng- Kou, Kou, Kou, can’t—”

“You can, and you will,” he hisses, looking between your bodies to watch his own cock bulge your stomach out. “Doing so well, little one. So good to me.” You can’t even feel your toes anymore, since all your feeling seems to be on the way your walls are being battered into by his length that doesn’t seem to belong inside you.

“Kou, gon’cum. Stop— Koutaro.” He lifts your one leg with ease to shift his cock inside to hit even further, each hit on your puffy nub too much. “I’m- ah, ah aaahng please Kou, pleasepleaseplease.” Your vision blacks out before you can feel the waves of pleasure roll over you, again and again and your thighs squeeze so hard you feel them cramp up. Your toes pointed and back arching off the bed, you spill all over his cock. He has to pull out with how hard you’re cumming and fucks his cock into his hand, watching as all your wetness gushes out and onto his lap and thighs. You’re still trembling, but he just has to push in again to fill you up with his cum.

“Holy fuck, baby, you just squirted all over me,” he rests his forearms next to your head and you grab onto his biceps like a lifeline, as he thrusts in and out again. Even laying down like this, you’re bounced on his cock, feeling is cock so deep it feels like he’s fucking the air out of your lungs. “Take my fat cock like that, little bunny.” He grunts and growls into your ear as he plows in between your legs, his balls smacking against your skin and chest dripping sweat onto yours. “Beg for what you want from me.”

“Ah, ah,” you swallow and shake your head, “too much. Koutaro, please, cum inside.” You’re not even making sense anymore. As much as he wants you to look at him while he’s fucking you stupid, he knows there’s no way you have it in you right now. So he settles for yanking your legs up even higher to your chest and pushing into you like that, as your mouth hangs open and small breaths come out. You clench around him still, but your poor, raw cunny is too fucked out to put nay strength behind it, and the weight of him on you is enough to drive you onto him again and again until he grunts again. So close. “Wan’everyone t’know,” you manage to say, before biting your lip so hard he’s scared you’ll bite through it.

“You want everyone to know who you belong to?” You nod wildly again, and he has to force his tight grip on the sheets loose to look around. “Gonna let me put my name on you then?” he groans, and you almost give out right there and then.

“Yes, Kou.” Your voice is barely a squeak, like he’s fucked that out of you too. “Anything you want. Anything,” your little hands squeeze harder around his biceps, your poor body too gone to do much else. “Wanna be good for you. Please, please. Ah- s’big.”

So he grabs at the pair of scissors on the bedside table and uses one of the ends to push it into the inside of your thigh as you whine and jerk under him, to scratch his initials into your skin. Not hard enough to break the surface, but enough that tiny red spots appear between the raw lines. “There,” he grunts, “you’re mine. Your little cunny is mine, your noises are mine and your pretty expression sure as hell is all mine too.” Then he pumps into you like mad until he has to hold you still under him from overstimulation. “Gonna cum.” You turn into a sobbing mess of agreements again, tits bouncing with each hard thrust, even faster and harder while you feel him flex. “Fuck, baby,” he moans, and then falls still as he whines.

His hot cum filling you up so full, like your stomach will explode. The pressure is just too much, and you pound your little fists on his chest desperately. “Kou, pull out,” you beg, “s’too much.” He lets up a little when he’s filled you all the way, slowly pulling out to watch your little hole gush with his white. He grabs your both wrists in one hand to keep you from acting out more, before he sits back on his heels with a deep sigh. After a while of catching his breath, he lets out a noise of contentment, just watching the way your ruined cunny flutters. He only moves to drop his face to your swollen tummy to lay kisses there, pressing his fingers into it to urge his cum back out. The kisses turn into sucking and biting, but you just lay and take it, already knowing the marks will be on your skin for weeks.

Bokuto glances up at you for a second when you coo out his name, with your tear-ridden face and your sleepy expression, before smiling. You always look so perfect for him. He licks his thumb and wipes it over the swelling skin of his initials, then hums. “Good?”

“Good,” you slur, still trying to come back to earth. Koutaro chuckles when you make grabby, little hands for him to return to you, even though it’s too warm and you’re definitely going to push him off later.

So he presses a kiss to your lips, and sits up. “I’m just going to get something to clean you up, okay? Don’t fall asleep yet.” You hum in response, but you’re just so tired. He knows you, knows that you will if you’re not forced to move. So he slots an arm under your body and lifts you up against his strong body, sitting you up with your face against his stomach, breathing softly. “I’m gonna make you cum again for being so good to me, little one,” he promises though, hoping you’ll stay upright for just a second to go get a wet towel. “I love you, bunny.”

“Love you too, Kou,” you say, reaching up to brush your hand under your eyes. And you do. You really, really do.

[mintyfrosty]

Back To Square One

Hello all you wonderful people!!

Ya’ll want more merfolk Au stuff?? I gotchu fame. Small one-shot under the cut >:3333333

You know.

Most humans didn't find themselves to be half fish somewhere in your early 30s. Right happened to be an exception.

Despair following his every moment, frame tight and compact against the rocky edging on the cave's underwater cavern. Caramel eyes gawked blankly at the dozens of grains of sand that littered the ocean floor. Too many to count in a lifetime. In a way, an odd sense of loneliness captured his spirit, mainly for two reasons. The first being he was alone in a literal sense, his fri-- acquaintance named Reginald had swum off somewhere to get the two of them a meal for the evening. And the second, well, he didn't know of any miracle stories of humans turning into merfolk, let alone if there was a way to revert it. It didn't make sense; he just...fell in a batch of glowing, purple water, sunk to the bottom and suddenly he was equipt with a tigerfish tail.

And with it, everything he was familiar with.

His whole life was gone.

His friends.

His family.

His crew.

His ship.

His food.

His bed.

Gone.

Simple as that.

But just because it was gone, didn't mean it didn't stab a deep wound in Right's spirit.

"Right?"

A voice. High pitched. Familiar.

Sullenly, the taller of the two looked up from his arms that were crunched in a huddled position, nothing less than a glare coming under the brim of his hat. The other had a satchel strung over his shoulder down to his left hip (Er- top of his tail on the left side?), swimming over gently to the man's side. It was good, however, that the two knew each other for about a month before this 'incident'; made the whole process a little bit more bearable. Or, at least it would if the two weren't in a slightly discourse at the moment.

When Right was still human, his ship had swept up the merman in a net and said merman immediately lost it. Turns out, merfolk don't take kindly to figuring out your species is the reason that your ocean has been limiting its food supply or polluting your oceans with junk (even if Right wasn't guilty of either of those. He was a pirate, not a fisher). As a result, Reginald...lost trust in him, even though Right had assisted him for about a month whilst the merman recovered. Perhaps it was related to Reginald's 'clan' situation. He didn't know. Didn't seem to matter now.

At least, however, Reginald was being much gentler and pushing his feelings on the matter behind him to assist the transformed human. That was something Right could appreciate.

The purple painted merman took a seat to the left of Right, pulling the satchel in front of him and unclipping the button that held it together. The shark mercreature was sure to slightly uncurl himself out of his misery as his gaze fell to the contents the other brought out. A variety. Recently slaughtered fish. Some kind of cod. Prawns. Was that octopus? 

"I, erm, didn't know what you fancied, so I tried to find as much as I could." Explained Reginald, putting the batch of octopi to the side; seemed to be one of his favourites. Right, however, went slightly pale at the suggestion. Eating raw fish? Well, prawns were okay sometimes. But cod? Let alone octopi? That sounded like a slimy mess of distress. 

The other must've caught his disgust, as he began saying something along the lines of: "I...understand you're not used to this. But, unless I'm wrong, you-- er-- drylanders don't eat fish fresh, so, it could be better?"

To be fair, Reginald was as much in the dark as he was. And, luckily, he was somewhat correct; getting fresh fish was extremely rare on the surface. Or, at least, being freshly killed.

So, hesitantly, Right reached an arm forward, hands grasping roughly at the cod and inspecting it. Quite clear to see that Reginald had done all the hard labour of cleaning the thing of its insides before presenting himself. A small feeling of gratefulness developed in his soul. Thoughtful, it was. Very kind. 

The shark-merman did find, however, that it was much easier to bite into and chew things with his newly sharpened, second row of teeth. And, frankly, wasn't as bad as he was expecting. Yes, the texture was horrid and he had to push the thought back of eating the thing raw but...not terrible.

"'anks, Reg." Mumbled Right underneath his breath, eyes focused on the meal in his hands. Too focused to not see the bright light shine in Reginald's purple and black eyes, turning his head with a snap. Didn't last long, as the sound of crunching octopus flesh met his finned ears. Well, not after a soft 'you're welcome.'

And now it was quiet.

Both of them, Right knew, were confused. Of course, the taller of the two was much more distressed than he was bewildered, caught between a wave of different emotions. He didn't handle them well; that went for most emotions. Stupid feelings. Stupid attachment. Stupid; all of it.

"I...erm--" Reginald's voice hit his ears, eyes only turning to meet Reginald as his teeth sunk into his cod. The shorter cleared his throat. "I'm sorry-- I don't know of any known...solutions to this. But-- I'm sure I can find something in time. I-I can assure you, though, I'll try my best to be as fast as possible to get you back to normal."

... What?

"Yer gonna...find me a cure?" 'Cure' was probably a bad word to describe the term, but, both of them knew they were thinking about this situation as if it were a problem. Right turned his attention fully now, letting the cod rest in his hands that fell into his lap (lap?). The other had a crimson look on his face now, looking down at the ground, fumbling with his hands slightly.

"I...figured it would be...appropriate because, well, you helped me a great deal-- and that-- well-- how I--" Reginald brought a hand to his face, rubbing it with his webbed fingers, letting out a small groan of frustration. "--look. I'm sorry about being upset over the dry lander thing on the ship. Ugh-- the clan's been in such a slump. And we've messed up heist after heists because of those wooden whales. And I was frustrated and upset-- and I just--"

The purple and gold merman slumped his face into his hands. "I'm so sick of how miserable The Toppat Shells and the answer was right there, even though you were already so kind to me. I wasn't thinking; I was just mad and upset. And now that's led to--"

"Oi."

Reginald cut off his rambling, looking up from his hands to look at the small concerned yet stern expression of the other merman in the cavern. A hand came to his shoulder, grasping it gently. "If ye 'ink f' a second t'at...t'is--" Right gestured to his lower half. "--is yer fault, yer wrong. Yeah, maybe it was a result of some dumb s'it ye were upset wit', but t'ings were gonna turn out dis way because of the 'ole...raid on the s'ip t'ing."

"No-No, I'm not saying that." The brunette let out a sigh, brushing a curl out of his face and slumping against the back wall, not moving from the comforting presence on his shoulder. "I-- erm-- just believe I owe you some payment for...everything you've done for me. How I reacted was uncalled for and...consider this an apology, maybe."

Owed him payment? That was an odd thing for an ex-pirate to hear.

He wasn't paid back for anything; that's just how things were on the surface. Steal. Work as a crew. Get the job done. Do it all over again. Right supposed, however, that it did sort of match his out of character performance of helping a dying fish on the beach and growing slightly attached over time. A lot of things were out of character. This whole damn situation was wrong.

A sigh left Right's throat, coming out as a string of bubbles as he brought his hands back into his lap, too leaning back.

"Can't 'ave that, 'orry. If t'ere's one t'ing 've learned being a 'aptain, ye never play princess. Ain't yer responsibility ta change me back, when it ain't even yer fault. Kinda my business, 'onestly. But, if yer committed, we'll...figure it out together, suppose."

Octopi falling to the ground in a stunned grasp, Reginald's eyes turned up and met the brown ones that belonged to Right, blinking several times to understand what he had said. The ex-pirate held back a smirk, feeling slightly satisfied on getting an upper hand. Of course, it didn't last long, since his expression turned into painted, crimson blush at the response from the other.

"S-Sorry, could, erm, I hug you?"

...Hug? Uhm-- It wasn't an odd request, of course. But Hugging

"Erm--" Right let the cod drop into his lap, brushing a hand behind his head to scratch his hair, even if it wasn't itchy. Might as well not bring another problem to this situation. "I mean-- sur--"

Right didn't need to say one word more, as Reginald was suddenly on his chest, wrapping his arms around the other's torso in a tight embrace, face buried into his shoulder. Taking a sharp inhale, the taller of the two felt his face heat up, despite being the cool waters of the seafloor. With much hesitation, Right wrapping his arms around the other, trying his best to not hit his fins or something along those lines (he didn't have a clue to how sensitive they were). Heh. It almost seemed like Reginald was just as choked up at the situation as he was, despite that not being true in the slightest. However, he seemed to be greatly upset by it, at least.

It only lasted a moment, the smaller individual pulling back, keeping his distance and looking slightly awkward. It was clear that Reginald seemed to express appreciation and gratitude through physical affection, even if it was platonic. Didn't exactly clash well with Right's nature of pushing people away when he was emotional. But...it was manageable. The ex-pirate let out a chuckle, scratching his head once more with a cough of bubbles. "'ow about...we start again? Like, bef' all t'is bullshit 'appened."

Before the pirate ship. Before things had gone pear-shaped. Before when the last time they saw each other was on the beach.

The merman before him took a moment of stunned silence before his lips formed into a smile, sticking his hand forward.

"Alright. Hi there. My name is Reginald Coperbottom; second in command of The Toppats Shells!"

A firm handshake was met with a wave of bubbles.

"'ello. 'm Right."

[holographic-chogi]

Protector pt.20/23

Author: holographic-chogi

Pairing: fem!reader x skz

Warnings: mentions of guns, familial trauma, familial neglect

A/N: Hi guys...I’m really sorry I’ve been gone so long! Things got kind of intense during the the move, and it became difficult to balance writing along with all the other things happening in my life. Thank you to everyone who has read in the past and/or is still reading this series, I’ve grown really attached to it and don’t plan to leave it unfinished. As you can see, there’s also been a final chapter determined! The outline is done, and you guys can expect the final installments soon. Lastly, 

Summary: a virus has wiped out most of humanity, and society has collapsed. People survive in groups where they live in constant fear and a struggle to survive. Women were the primary victim of the virus, leaving few behind. You are one of the few, kept in secret since the beginning. However, you’ve just been caught.

Masterlist

You woke up in the morning similar to the way you had a couple nights ago, abruptly and full of fear. It had been two days since then, and the nightmares had scarcely waned in their intensity.

The blankets tumbled to the ground as you shot up, backing against the wall in confusion, until finally processing where you were.

Home. Your room.

Your heart panged at the site of the empty spot next to where you had been sleeping. Changbin was probably on shift, though you sure wish he wasn’t.

Or, maybe, you scared him off. You could hardly call yourself the same since you’ve been back, and part of you wasn’t sure if Changbin would still love you the way you are now.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were supposed to make it here and everything was supposed to be okay again. You weren’t supposed to feel like this anymore.

Miserable.

Everyday, while the sun rose and set, your thoughts and dreams were haunted by the memories of your night with Taeil. Physically, you were beginning to heal (save for the inevitable scarring), but mentally, you existed within those few hours with your attacker. It had gotten pretty hard to stay present.

You don’t actually remember sitting on the floor, but you found yourself there. You stared at the wall in front of you as your mind poured over all the possible ways Jiho and his goons could sneak in.

His goons… were they after Hyoseob about now?

You raked your fingers through your hair as you remembered parting ways with him in the woods. He was right, you would make it here. You really hoped he was okay.

Or Bambam?

Then it became hard to breathe, and your sore throat began to tighten. You couldn’t take this. Not anymore. Why was Bambam even in those woods? Was he yet another person who put themselves at risk to protect you?

Like your brother.

You knew now that no one was safe. Standing from your spot on the floor; the wood creaked beneath your feet, and you cringed the idea that anyone could hear you. You were already this dangerous burden, wasting away their space and food, did you really need to be noisy on top of that?

No one said anything about the way you changed, but your head was drowning in a sea of thoughts you imagined them to have. Thoughts of contempt, resentment and hatred.

Your heart began to pound as you heard your door handle move; a tiny part of you expecting Jiho or Taeil to emerge from the entrance.

But you immediately felt a sense of calm as you spotted Hyunjin. He smelled like the pine trees that populated the woods outside, so you assumed he had just come back from hunting.

How long had you been spiraling like this?

Your face reddened at the realization of how you must look right now. Stray hairs clung to the edges of your sweaty forehead the same way yesterday’s pajamas clung to your thinning frame as you stood, teetering, next to the dresser.

Unsurprising to you though, Hyunjin didn’t bat an eye. “Wanna get some fresh air?”

Although everyone else at the Farmhouse treated you like you were going to fall apart at any moment (arguably justified), Hyunjin treated you like you.

It was a good feeling.

And you can’t deny, you never worried about what Hyunjin thought of you, because somehow, you knew you didn’t have to. He had become your healing space.

“Not really, but I probably should.” Your voice was still a bit raspy, though it had been subtly improving. “I’m probably driving everyone nuts with how little I’m pulling my weight. Maybe I can go help reinforce the fence…”

He shook his head, “You aren’t driving anyone crazy, they’re just worried.” He paused, his voice becoming slightly lower as he subtly looked you up and down.

“I’m right here with you, and you’re in a safe place full of people that love you. Please don’t torture yourself in here.”

At that, the thin veil that held back your tears up until this moment, burst. You were unable to keep the emotions from leaking out of you as you sobbed into your hands.

You felt a gentle tug around your shoulder, before you were wrapped up in his arms, back on the floor. As you sob into his hoodie-covered chest, you reciprocate, limbs trembling as you cling to him for life.

“I have you, Y/N. You’re safe. You’re loved.”

It would take time to believe this, but if anyone would be able to drill it into your head, it’d be Hyunjin.

Once you were able to calm your voice a bit, you let a question slip through the cracks, “How can you see me, when no one else can?”

With the ends of his fingers, he lightly directed your chin upwards. Much to your chagrin, this was to look you in the eyes.

“The others don’t understand what hurt is, not in the way that we do.”

With this, you were speechless. He had worded the feeling you’d had about him but could never put words to. Up until this point, you felt an unexplainable kinship and sense of understanding with Hyunjin. But it all made sense now: the world before the virus broke him just as much the world after. Just like you.

You stared into each other's eyes for a moment, Hyunjin patiently waiting for you to process his words until you finally whispered, “Can you tell me your story?”

He chuckled to himself.

“My father was a soldier, so was my brother. I suppose I was going to be one too.”

You raised your eyebrows, “You? A soldier?”

His gaze shifted down, resting on the floor in front of him in shame. “Yeah. They thought the same thing”

You looked him up and down in panic, “no, I--”

He shook his head, cutting you off. “It’s okay. It’s never been any mystery to me that I’m not meant for that.”

He continued, and you didn’t fail to notice his brows furrow and his eyes harden. “I tried my best to keep up. I learned to shoot, fight, even speak the way they did.” he shook his head in exasperation, “But it was never enough. My family’s perception of me was always clouded by everything I wasn’t and should've been, and they never looked past that until the very end.”

His voice was breaking now, and instinctively you began to rub his back, urging him to continue.

“And I’m the only one left now, the sole survivor. I was the only one young enough to survive the virus. I never met my mom, and my only living family died disappointed in me.”

Silence. And then a sob; “I hated the way they lived, and I hated the person they expected of me--” he paused before finishing his sentence, attempting to gather himself.

“It’s why I’m out hunting all the time. It’s the only time I ever feel worth anything.”

He finally looked back at you, and you had to stop yourself from crying too. He looked so defeated; eyes brimming with tears. You gently reached out with your other hand to hold his, and you vaguely noticed the scars you left him, ages ago.

“Y-you say I’m the only one that sees you, but Y/N, you’re o-only one that sees me too.”, He smiled through another wave of emotion, “That’s why I really need you to be okay, do you u-understand?”

You nod back hurriedly, unable to open your mouth to speak without crying.

“Whenever I hunt alone it’s…it’s just me alone with my thoughts. It feels like the world is empty, just me and my resentment alone.” He smiled as he continued, “But with you, it’s so easy. My mind is quiet, and I’m not alone.”

Then it came to you, you knew exactly what to say, “We have eachother, Hyunjin. Always.”

He then stood up, stretching out a hand, “That’s it, I have something I need to show you.”

Taglist: @leetaemintrashnumber1 @peachescherryheart @lico-rice526 @claire4799 @lanie-is-a-unicorn @tottalbabe @anakinandbtsislove @scissorsandtonfas @tokiokiedokie

[chilling-seavey]

so i have some ✨interesting✨ ideas for ABM. so this is the best friend phase where Daniel gets frat dragged to some frat party with the guys and some girl goes up and talks to him, but he's too hung up on Florence so he ✨kindly rejects her✨ or something hahaha. Or instead of that lol maybe the first time he met Caleigh?

Oh gosh I got a little carried away with this one...thank you for sending it in! I kind of combine both your ideas here hehe

April 3, 2020

Florence was always busy. Busy being a mom, busy being pregnant, and busy with both Grayson and Emilio. Despite their status as forgiven best friends, Daniel was trapped under a mountain of feelings. It was all too apparent that the baby could be his but only he and his friends knew that – not even Florence – as well as the fact that it made him sick to see her with other guys. Daniel hated it. He wasn’t a hateful person but he hated it.

So his friends forced him out to a party to get his mind off everything and to actually live like a college student for once. It was hosted the day after his twentieth birthday too so they also used it as an excuse to celebrate him even if the party was thrown for no good reason down the street.

Daniel was squished between Corbyn and Jack as they headed into the crowded house, the music already pounding his head and the smell of weed and cheap beer reeked over every surface. Daniel hated parties and the frat houses down the street already had the worst kind of them.

Zach and Daniel stuck to the back of the group as their four friends led them farther into the messy house. Drinks were passed around and the boys mingled right into the crowd, talking loudly to classmates or finding random girls to chat up. Jonah – who was still involved with the girl from the bar from Corbyn’s birthday celebration – took up beer pong with Zach, the younger boy losing miserably and ending up nearly falling over his own two feet by the sixth glass he chugged.

Daniel found himself standing at the table watching their game but his eyes drifted around the house, past Aidan and Jack on the back porch sharing a joint with a few other guys and Corbyn in the living room trying to talk up a girl with space facts. She walked away with an eyeroll and Corbyn frowned. Daniel looked down to the can in his hand and swirled the drink around before taking a sip.

He never could take alcohol well so by the second can he was already feeling that buzz. But at least it made him forget about his issues for a moment.

“Daniel! Bro.” Jack stumbled up behind him and slapped a hand on his shoulder to yank him around. He was already nearly plastered himself and he smelt like weed, making Daniel scrunch his nose up. “Bro…I want you to meet some people. Come here.”

Jack pulled Daniel out of the house and onto the covered back deck into the cloud of smoke.

“Everyone,” Jack fell to a stop, patting a hand against Daniel’s chest, “this is my good buddy, Daniel. He’s so fucking single. And he needs to get laid.”

“Jack-” Daniel spoke softly.

Jack only laughed, the group joining in, and he smacked his hand on the side of Daniel’s face, “Lighten up, bro.”

Daniel only drank his beer and ignored him.

“Have a hit.” someone held out a glass bong and a lighter to him.

Daniel shook his head and shrugged Jack off his arm to head back inside. He didn’t know how long they had been there but it felt like far too long. Daniel leaned up against the kitchen counter that was littered with empty cups and cans and sticky from spilt drinks. He took out his phone to find a few messages from Florence.

Clementine wants me to tell you that she can count to fifteen now. She’s very impressed with herself. Come over tomorrow if you’re not too hungover and she can blow your socks off in person.

I don’t know if I want to say have a drink for me or say don’t drink too much.

Wish I was there with you. Emilio’s taking good care of me though. He brought over dinner and

Daniel audibly scoffed, not even bothering to finish reading her last message, and slid his phone in his pocket again and finished his drink. He tossed the can in the sink before pulling out another from the lukewarm box on the counter and cracked it open.

Corbyn was still in the living room, chatting up some girl who was giggling at everything he said, and Daniel shoved himself down onto the couch beside him. He was ignored and just focused on his drink, the suffocating environment of the frat house was making him on edge. He drank some more.

When the wall in front of him was hazy and his body felt warm and tingly, Daniel’s mind was still hung up on Florence. He shoved himself off the couch and pushed through the crowd to the bathroom, all to familiar with the same environment where he had met Florence. He hated it.

Daniel knocked on the closed bathroom door and was met with a call of ‘just a minute’ followed by a bit of shuffling and then the door opened. A couple came out hand in hand, the girl’s lipstick smudged and strap of her tank top falling off her shoulder. Daniel looked away as they passed and he helped himself to the privacy of the bathroom. With the door closed and locked, he had a moment to try and gather his thoughts with the chatter of the crowd and piercing music down to a steady thudding through the walls. He set his can on the back of the toilet and did his business, staring at the framed that was hanging crooked on the wall. The frame was empty. Daniel stared at it for far too long, even when he was finished he stood there swaying for a moment as his mind whirled.

Soon he ended up back in the living room, finishing his drink only to have a fourth shoved into his hand.

“Jack said to find you.”

Daniel blinked slowly as his wide eyes tried to focus on the girl in front of him.

“Jack Avery? You’re Daniel, right?”

“Yeah.” Daniel breathed. “’M Daniel.”

“Good. I’m Cayleigh.”

Daniel barely processed what this strange brunette girl was saying to him. He just stared at her – stared through her one could argue – as she rambled on. He sipped his drink. She mentioned something about being in the same program…seeing him on campus…maybe even a little compliment about him being hot. Daniel didn’t acknowledge.

“Jack says you’re single. He said I should come talk to you.” she leaned in close and Daniel could smell her perfume.

She didn’t smell like Florence.

Daniel stared at her, right into her brown eyes that were dilated with drunkenness.

They weren’t Florence’s eyes.

Her hands were on his shoulders and then her arms slid around his neck, “But you’re quiet…I don’t think talking is what you want.”

He could have pushed her away. He could have. But if he thought hard enough, he could convince himself that she was Florence. His hazy mind pieced together the dark tones of her hair into Florence’s deep blonde in the weak lighting of the living room, with her eyes fluttering closed he could reflect the soft lashes that rested against Florence’s cheeks, and her strong perfume could be passed a simply the smell of the room around them.

Cayleigh lingered in front of him for a moment and Daniel stared wide eyed at her pursed lips, his breathing laboured slightly, and finally, she closed the gap. Daniel gasped lightly into it, shutting his eyes tightly as he habitually leaned back. But her arms around his neck kept him close and she smacked on his lips with her sticky lip-gloss coated mouth until he was succumbing to her.

If he thought hard enough, he could convince himself that she was Florence and although her body frame was different, Daniel gripped the back of her crop top nervously, not even needing to touch her. Florence.

He kissed back, inexperienced but desperate, locking his lips with hers in closed mouthed kisses. Florence. He could feel her. He could smell her. He could hear the way she moaned his name into the warm air between them. This is how he wanted to meet her that very first October evening, being able to taste her drink on her lips and the softness of his hair as his hand slid up to the nape of her neck. Florence.

His body buzzed with intoxication and desire, vague memories of their night together flashing through his mind until he was clutching the can in his hand hard enough to crumple it slightly and he was letting out soft moans between kisses. He wanted her again. In every and all ways, morning, noon, and night. Florence.

Daniel was drunk. Daniel was in love.

“Flora.” he breathed shakily into her mouth.

Cayleigh pulled back, breathless, “Did you say something?”

Daniel’s eyes went wide as he stared at the stranger in front of him, the stranger he just made out with at a party, and he hesitated. There was a moment of silence between them. Daniel tried to step back from her but her hands were locked behind his neck.

“I…” Daniel felt panic ensuing. “I have to pee.”

Cayleigh let him go and he turned away from her and pushed through the crowd. He fell back into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it behind him before throwing himself against the vanity, arms straight and chest heaving. He looked up into the mirror; his brown hair messy and tears brimming in his eyes and his lips were swollen from a few short minutes of kissing a stranger.

He took a moment to try and catch his breath before he was pulling out his phone and bringing up Florence’s text thread. He typed a paragraph of nonsense, filled with drunk typos and secret confessions, but at least he had the sense to backspace the entire thing before sending. She was his best friend but he missed her. He missed her and he missed her touch.

Daniel returned to Cayleigh where she was waiting for him in the living room.

“I think I’m gonna go.” Daniel told her.

“I can come with you.” she bit back a smile, setting her hand on his chest.

“No. Thank you. I’m just…not feeling well.”

“Oh. Okay. Can I have your number at least?” she pulled out her phone when he nodded and she passed it over so he could type it in.

It was the least he could do, he thought. He pictured another girl while kissing her. What jerk does that?

With his number in her phone and the drink in his hand left to warm on the table in the living room, Daniel told Corbyn he was leaving and headed out of the house on his own. He walked down the street towards their home, arms tucked around his body in the cool air of early April, and he cried the whole way. His first day being twenty and he already wanted to leave it behind.

The house was silent and empty when he got home and he stumbled his way up the stairs to his bedroom. He stripped down, tossing his shoes and jeans and jacket and shirt to the floor before climbing into bed with tears drying on his cheeks. He couldn’t help himself, flopping onto his stomach and called Florence.

She answered, of course, with a concerned, “Hey, Daniel James.”

He sobbed in reply.

“Dani. What’s wrong?” she asked quickly.

“I kissed a girl!” Daniel cried.

“Oh my. And you didn’t like it?” Florence giggled to herself to hide her own slight jealousy.

“No! I didn’t!” Daniel answered sorrowfully. “And there was no picture in the frame in the bathroom!”

“Oh, wow. That sounds terrible.”

“It is! Who hangs up an empty frame?” Daniel wept, smothering his sobs into his pillow.

“Okay, Daniel James, listen to me. Are you home now?”

“Uh huh.”

“Okay. Go get yourself some water and get right into bed.”

“I’m already in bed and there’s no water.”

“Okay-”

“There’s not water with me, Flora.”

“Okay.” she chuckled lightly. “That’s fine. I’ll text Aidan to put a glass beside your bed for you when the boys come home. Just get some sleep.”

“Aidan did drugs.” Daniel mumbled.

“Did he?”

“Mhm. He did drugs with Jack and…and they asked me to do it too!”

“Did you?”

“No!” Daniel sobbed. “I didn’t do drugs. Just…I just…I kissed a girl and I didn’t like it.”

“Okay.”

Daniel’s voice fell quieter as the comfort of his bed and the aftermath of his emotional breakdown started to take over his drunken alertness, “And there was no picture in the frame.”

“I’ll buy you a picture and a frame, okay?”

“M’kay. How’s m’lil angel?”

“Clemmie?”

“Mhm.”

“She’s sleeping.”

“And new baby?”

“New baby is good. He or she is well behaved.”

“M’kay.”

There was a pause.

“I kissed a girl, Flora.” Daniel whispered. “Her lips were sticky.”

“That’s kinda of yucky.”

“Mhm. I only kissed you before, did you know?”

“I know.”

“Your lips weren’t sticky.”

“Get some rest, Dani.” Florence said as straightly as she could, “I wish I was with you.”

“Me too.” Daniel mumbled.

“I love you, Daniel James.”

“I love you, Florence Margret.” Daniel breathed. It was the easiest thing he said all night.

Florence stayed on the phone until he fell asleep, just listening to his heavy breathing as exhaustion took over. She sat up in bed across the city, one hand holding her phone to her ear and the other set gently on the small swell of her stomach as she craved the presence of her best friend beside her.

When Daniel woke up the next morning, there was a promised glass of water on his nightstand and two texts; one from Florence and one from Cayleigh. He answered Flora first.

[mopeytropey]

a beer buds series: chapter 8

author’s note: happy, sappy Lexa hath arrived

available on AO3: here or below the cut

Timeline: just after Lexa returns from her holidays in New York, Clarke is bombarded with work at Dockside; Lincoln keeps her company over the weekend as Lexa relays the events of her Friday spent with Clarke (chapter 7 of 'apu')

Beer: Frequency KÖLSCH-INSPIRED GERMAN ALE

Clean and bright. Pleasingly malty with a touch of noble hop. Crisp and sharp with a subtle malt sweetness on the finish

ABV 5.0%

Frequency: Winter Hill Brewing (Somerville, MA)

:::

Lexa cannot stop smiling.

She hasn’t been able to curb the small grins and outright smiles that keep spreading across her lips at random intervals since leaving Clarke’s house on Friday morning.

She doesn’t stop them when her thoughts drift to the sound of Clarke’s voice and the looks they shared in her kitchen over coffee and bagels. And, she can’t keep her lips from curving when remembering their dinner Friday night, the way Clarke’s eyes would gleam and her cheeks would blush when Lexa would say something purposefully flirtatious. She has more-or-less lost all power over the muscles in her face and the control Clarke has on her overall good mood.

She hasn’t allowed herself this much visible happiness in ages. It feels both incredibly unnatural and like enormous relief.

And, because she is smiling into her phone while reading a recent text from Clarke, riddled with profanity about being stuck at work, she doesn’t notice Lincoln approaching.  

“Hey, I’ve missed that smile.”

Lexa’s head snaps up at the sound of his voice, and her smile remains. She’s missed him too.

“Hey.”

They clumsily exchange a hug while Lexa is sat on a wicker bar stool and Lincoln stands beside her at a bright grey bar counter made from swirled marble. The sun streams through the front windows of an upscale restaurant known for their brunch menu, woodfired pizzas, and signature cocktails.

Lexa had, in fact, intended to ask Clarke to brunch at this very establishment. She has been eager to resume their mutual exploration of the attraction that’s been brimming between them since early June. Friday had been a glimpse, a negligible fraction of what Lexa knows they are bound to discover over time. She thinks of her fingers tangling between Clarke’s or the physical distances between them that are gradually vanishing. Her head buzzes with all their potential in the days and weeks to come.

Lincoln unbundles from his wool peacoat and unwinds a striped scarf from around his neck to reveal his thick cable knit sweater beneath. “I just saw the girls,” he announces.

Lexa swallows, torn abruptly from the places her mind had been wandering. “Did you?”

“Yeah, they’re slammed down there.” Lincoln takes his seat and then angles himself comically in Lexa’s direction as if he plans to interrogate her. “So, Clarke says hi.”

Lexa’s chest balloons and her smile expands beyond her control. “Oh. Okay. Thanks.”

“I assume this means you two are on speaking terms again?”

The burn in Lexa’s cheeks is so severe, she’s forced to look away to the sounds of Lincoln’s delighted laughter. He playfully jabs a finger into her bicep while she fails miserably to keep her cool.

“We started talking before I left for New York.” Lexa clears her throat, hoping it will reduce the heat of her embarrassment. “She dropped me at the train station, actually.”

“Yeah, I know. Octavia told me,” Lincoln admits. Lexa backhands him across his chest and attempts to scowl. “Sorry, I had to mess with you a little bit. I haven’t seen you in forever!”

“That’s your one free one.” Empty threats, and they both know it.

“Yeah, sure. Okay,” Lincoln plays along, nevertheless slinging an arm around the back of Lexa’s stool.

The bartender approaches before Lexa can respond, and Lincoln reaches across the bar to slap her hand in a familiar exchange. “What’s good, Lincoln?”

“Hey, what’s up, Taylor?”

“What are you drinking?” she asks him while sliding a coaster in front of him.

He nods to Lexa’s pint of beer. “What’s this?”

“It’s that kölsch-inspired one from Winter Hill,” Lexa answers. “It’s really smooth.”

“Okay, cool. I’ll do the same. Thanks.”

“You guys eating?”

“Yeah, I’d love to see a menu,” Lexa tells her.

Taylor nods, reaching for two rolls of cutlery from beneath the bar. “You got it. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay, so: what happened? What’s happening? Tell me everything. How was your Christmas?”

Lexa can’t help but laugh at Lincoln’s eager requests, rattled off with palpable excitement. She takes a deep breath. “Christmas was definitely interesting.”  

“Oh yeah?”

Taylor returns with Lincoln’s beer and two menus. She mumbles something quick and low in Spanish to Lincoln that makes him laugh.

“She’s got some real pretentious dicks on the other side of the bar,” Lincoln informs her once Taylor has left them to tend to her other customers. Because the bar is circular, Lincoln attempts to scope out the situation on the other side of the bar by peering through the rows of bottles, glassware, and flatscreen TVs that create a barrier between both sides.

“Think we should bounce them out of here?”

Lincoln laughs into his first sip of beer. “Let me have another pint and I’ll let you know.” He finishes another long sip before sliding his glass back onto the bar. “Alright, let’s hear it.”

“What do you want to know?”

“I want to know why Clarke is suddenly in such a supremely good mood despite working her second double in a row, and why you haven’t been able to wipe that idiot grin off your face since I walked in. Wait—also, what did Anya get you for Christmas?”

Lexa rolls her eyes, hoisting up with disdain an article of outerwear from the stool beside her. “Stupid hat.”

Lincoln swallows his mouthful of beer and laughs, nodding approvingly. “Classic An. Okay so, what exactly happened while you were at home?”

Lexa watches her fingers trace the darker patterns that thread the marble bar top. “For one, Costia and I met for coffee after Christmas and finally had that long overdue conversation I’ve been avoiding.”

“Hey, you weren’t the only one avoiding,” Lincoln reminds her.

“Yeah, I know.”

“And so, it’s over?”

Lexa exhales, reaching again for her pint of beer and taking a low sip. “I think it’d been over for a while, but: yes. In an official capacity, we ended it.”

“And, how are you and Costia? Okay?”

“Yeah, we’re good. We’d been such good friends anyway—I honestly think that was a huge part of what complicated things for us for so long.”

Lincoln hedges his reaction. “I want to be really happy for you right now because you basically look like you just dropped this huge weight around your neck, but … are you okay with everything?”  

“I am.” She looks up to meet his eye as if to prove herself. “It felt right. And, I’m—” Her traitorous lips, already pulling at their edges in a smile, will give her away every time. “I’m really good actually.”

“Good because I’m so happy for you, buddy.” Lincoln squeezes her shoulder with the hand resting on her stool. “Okay so, I know you and Clarke are talking again—and, believe me, we’re all relieved as hell about that—but, what exactly have you told her?”

“You mean about Costia?”

Lincoln finishes his sip of beer, pinning her with a look he must have learned from Anya because Lexa feels absolutely transparent. “I mean, I think Costia is just the tip of a pretty substantial iceberg, but sure. Let’s start there.”

At his candid retort, Lexa exhales a laugh and grasps her beer. “I’m fairly certain Clarke knows that my feelings for her aren’t entirely platonic, if that’s what you mean.” Her mind flashes briefly to the lighting and warmth of Clarke’s kitchen, the scent of toasted bagels and freshly ground coffee.

Lincoln claps his hands, as he so often does in moments of triumph, and smiles broadly. “I can’t tell you how glad I am that we are finally having this conversation.”

“I know. Me too.” In spite of her nerves constantly bubbling to the surface, Lexa is also flooded with the acute relief of authenticity.

“Have you seen her since you’ve been back?”

“We spent some time together on Friday.” Lexa ineffectually bites at her lip to keep from smiling. She thinks of slow hugs, soft hand-holding, and timid admissions amid charged goodbyes. Their interactions thus far have been so buffered by innocence, Lexa cannot believe the way her stomach swoops at her memory of them. “I brought her bagels.”

“Suave.”

“Listen, she—I wasn’t attempting to be romantic.”

Lincoln doesn’t miss a beat. “Liar.”

“Clarke has been living her entire life under the misguided assumption that a small, newly established bagel shop in northern Massachusetts is on par with legitimate New York bagels, Lincoln.” The severity in Lexa’s tone has him visibly amused. “I felt it my sacred duty to correct this misconception.”

“You brought her Bergen’s, didn’t you?”

Lexa looks offended at the ask. “Like I would offer her anything less.”

“And, where are my Christmas bagels?”

She rolls her eyes, reaching for her nearby pint. “Linc—”

“Okay, I see how it is. Too hung up on impressing Clarke to remember one of your oldest friends.” He is nodding, self-righteously.

Like a loveable idiot.

“I’m beginning to second-guess your request to hang out today,” she tells him while averting her eyes to the paper menu in front of her.

Lincoln laughs at her stern tone, knowing it’s a bluff, and returns his arm to rest along the back of her stool.

“How are you actually feeling about this?”

“Sharing an afternoon drink with you? I’m of two minds at the moment.”

“Now who’s being a jackass?” Lincoln grins. “So, you’re scared out of your mind about Clarke then?”

Yes. Absolutely. The nervous uncertainty is all-consuming.

Lexa shrugs, ignoring her inner anxieties and recites aloud the mantra of useless facts she’s been telling herself for days.

“Clarke and I have been close for quite awhile. She knows me, maybe better than most people. Despite any potential uncertainties, we’re operating on the foundation of a very sound friendship.”

Lincoln watches her like she’s come entirely unhinged. “Okay, yeah. Do you have any idea how incredibly shook I was at the prospect of kissing my friend Octavia?”

At the thought of kissing Clarke—images painted vividly by her traitorous mind—a breath lodges in her chest, and Lexa must return to her beer for fear of passing out.

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?”

“I’m just trying to get you to be honest with yourself. And me, for that matter. I mean, I’m just assuming—knowing how much you overthink every goddamn thing to death—that you haven’t slept with her yet.”

“Jesus, Lincoln.” Lexa swallows her embarrassment through multiple sips of beer.

“For that matter, you probably haven’t even kissed her yet.”

“I can’t think about … that yet,” she manages to say without her voice croaking from the strain.

“Kudos to you for being able to think about anything else.”

“I have, obviously, considered the prospect. I just—more than anything I keep thinking about how I want to be around her all the time.”

“No offense, because I mean this genuinely and supportively as your friend, but are you just now figuring that out?”

“Shut up,” Lexa laughs.

:::

The food, as it turns out, is notable.

Lexa orders chicken fried steak and eggs with chorizo gravy and griddled potatoes, immediately lulled into a state of happy sedation as she clears her plate.

Lincoln groans his satisfaction as well, leaning back into his stool when he’s finished. “Damn. That was so good.”

“I might nap on this stool. Your friend would be okay with that, right?”

“Yeah, obviously.” Lincoln stretches his arms over his head and folds his hands behind the base of his neck. “A good bartender is always looking to have her guests fall asleep at the bar.”

“Okay good,” Lexa answers with a sleepy smile and suppresses an actual yawn with the back of her hand.

“What are you up to for the rest of your day?”

“This meal has completely erased any prior motivation to workout. My couch sounds pretty nice right now.”

The sun is setting and the streetlamps have begun to flicker on along the cobblestreet outside the restaurant windows.

“Not gonna go lurking outside Dockside until Clarke gets out of work?” Lincoln prompts with a teasing wink.

“Why do I feel like this was an actual tactic used on Octavia?”

“An effective tactic, you might say.”

“No,” Lexa laughs. “I’m not planning to stalk Clarke at her place of business, you creep.”

“Suit yourself,” Lincoln shrugs. “If you need any tips, I’m just sayin’.”

Lexa’s laughter is more of a cackle, lost in the increasing din of the Sunday evening bar crowd. “I think I’m all set. Thanks.”

“Oh okay, here we go—two beers later, she is confidence personified.”

Taylor returns to collect their empty plates, and Lincoln, practically gleeful, seizes on an opportunity to embarrass Lexa in a public setting.

“Taylor, help me out here—first kisses with relative strangers versus first kisses with a friend-turned-something-more. Generally speaking, which one makes you more nervous?”  

“Why?” Taylor grins, bracing herself across from them with both hands grasping to the edge of the bar top. “Is one of you about to ask me to makeout?”

Lexa smothers a mortified oh-my-god against the palms of her hands where she has covered her face.

“No, no,” Lincoln laughs while shaking his head. “Like I would ever do anything to get Toni on my bad side—your girlfriend might be more intimidating than Octavia.”

“She’s gonna love hearing that,” Taylor smiles.

“The thing is, Lexa here—”

“Would love the check,” Lexa interjects, pinning Lincoln with her most threatening glare while her cheeks still burn warmly. “And, for reasons yet unclear to me, I’ll take Lincoln’s too. You can put us on the same tab.”  

“You got it,” Taylor chuckles, and strides off to the kitchen with their empty dishes.

As Lexa signs the tab, leaving an exorbitant tip to somehow assuage her own embarrassment as well as fulfill an unspoken creed between service industry workers, Lincoln warmly grabs her shoulder.

“Thanks. This was a great way to spend my otherwise very boring Sunday while O is stuck at work.”  

“Lucky for you, my Sunday plans were also foiled.”

“So glad we could be each other’s second fiddle,” Lincoln grins.

Lexa returns his familiar smile. “Anytime.”

They bundle back into their coats and hats and gloves before Lincoln waves and shouts a quick farewell to Taylor from across the bar. As they push through the front entryway back out into the cold and wind and lightly dusted snowy sidewalk, Lincoln wraps an arm around Lexa’s shoulder and hugs her closer.

“Thanks again—you didn’t have to pick up the tab, buddy.”

“Think of it as your belated Christmas present. Besides, you basically always pay whenever we hang out. I owe you.”

For the drinks and food, yes. But, Lexa also feels indebted to Lincoln’s unending kindness and patient listening as everything between she and Clarke has unfolded.

“You don’t owe me anything, but that food does make for a great belated Christmas present.”

“Well, it’s not pumpernickel bagels and pimento cream cheese, but,” Lexa shrugs, looking up to catch Lincoln’s eye just as his expression creases painfully.

“Aw man, did you have to bring up the pimento cream cheese?!”

Lexa laughs and savors the warmth of Lincoln’s broad frame close beside her.

:::

Sometime between the distance of Lincoln’s apartment, where they had parted after a smothering hug, and Lexa’s front entryway, her phone buzzes from within her coat pocket. When she sees Clarke’s name as the incoming call, she removes a glove with her teeth and swipes to answer.

“Hey.” It’s so cold now that the sun has set, her breath is frozen in puffs, but the anticipation of hearing Clarke’s voice builds a warmth deep in her stomach. “How are you?”

“Oh my god, I’m so tired,” Clarke whimpers.

Always so dramatic.

Still, she has sympathy for Clarke’s long and tiresome hours of unexpected work over the weekend. Lexa shuffles across an empty crosswalk, hurrying towards her street as other pedestrians bustle past in bulky winter wear. “Sorry you’ve been stuck there for two days.”

“I was prepared for Saturday. Today has kicked my ass. Where are you? It sounds windy. Oh my god, please tell me you aren’t running in this weather.”

Lexa laughs as she reaches her apartment and searches for her keys while keeping her phone pinned against her shoulder. “I’m walking home from grabbing food and drinks with Lincoln.”  

“Oh, that’s right. Sorry, my brain is fried. Drinks and food sound so nice right now,” Clarke practically whines.

Lexa pushes into the warmth of the stairwell and begins to take the stairs to her apartment. “Seeing Lincoln was really nice, although it was you I was hoping to share a meal with today.”

“Were you?”

She can hear Clarke better now as she unlatches the locks of her apartment’s front door and steps inside a quiet, darkened room. She smiles shyly at Clarke’s surprised delight and lightly clears her throat.

“Yes.”

“And what did these plans entail?”

Lexa used to wonder constantly about Clarke’s intentions—whether or not she was consciously aware of the provocative ring to her voice. Presently, Lexa requires no translation: Clarke’s flirtation is unmistakable.

“I wanted to take you out for brunch.”

“I would have loved that.” Clarke sounds beyond charmed, and Lexa’s entire face warms.

“That’s—that’s good to know,” she responds, exhaling shakily at Clarke’s belated acceptance to a date they never got to have.

“I had brunch plans for us today too!”

“Oh yeah?” Lexa’s intrigue instantly distracts from her spike of nerves.

“Yes! They involved homemade waffles and really nice prosecco I absconded with the last time I left my mom’s and, most importantly, not being at work for over nine hours.”

Lexa clicks on a nearby lamp and shuffles out of her coat but does not bother to remove her absurd winter hat. The idea of Clarke making plans for them—specifically plans that involve home-cooked meals and sharing bubbly wine in Clarke’s home—sets Lexa’s stomach fluttering as she collapses onto her sofa.

“Well, for future reference, I’d be up for drinking prosecco with you any time, appropriated or otherwise.”

“This is good information to have.”

Lexa cozies into the couch cushions at the sound of Clarke’s laugh, wishing desperately that they were sat side by side, filling each other in on their day. She might weave her fingers into Clarke’s hair to help her relax or pull Clarke’s legs into her lap to massage her calf muscles after a long shift at the bar.

“How was your afternoon with Lincoln?”

“He was very upset about being excluded from the New York bagel delivery.”

More of Clarke’s laughter broadens the small smile on Lexa’s mouth. “They were indeed very enviable bagels.”

“I’m glad you liked them. We’ll have to get more sometime.”

A pregnant beat in which Clarke doesn’t immediately respond has Lexa’s heart racing. “In New York?”

The insinuation of taking Clarke to Brooklyn is lightyears ahead of asking her to brunch, and Lexa scrambles to backtrack her overzealous suggestion while pulling her stupid hat over her eyes. “I, um—I didn’t mean—”

“Lexa, I’m sorry—ugh,” Clarke grunts in frustration. “I have to go help one of our servers with something.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, of course. I’ll let you go,” Lexa fumbles to say, grateful that Clarke’s endless string of responsibilities has saved her from more useless stuttering.

“Can I call you when I’m finished here? If it’s not too late?”

Lexa sits up and finally removes her hat. “Call me whenever.”

“Okay.” Lexa can hear the grin in Clarke’s response and indulges in one of her own. “Oh, and if the invitation still stands, I would go with you to New York any time, with or without the promise of bagels.”

Lexa cannot stop smiling. She doesn’t even try.

:::

[p4lparker]

Practice Makes Perfect;

                                                  The Proposal…  

               After you’d made the decision, you needed to think of how to actually ask the boys. Now that was the only thought you had rattling around your brain as the three of you travelled to the bar- the shipment was coming in midday, so if you wanted to swipe a keg for the kick back that evening you’d need to do it soon. John B was steering the Twinkie along the roads smoothly- you held the passenger seat and JJ was star-fished in the back, the sun beating through the windshield and hammering down on your skin. Sunglasses rested over your eyes as you watched the young Routledge manoeuvre the vehicle; one of his large hands and dextrous fingers wrapped loosely around the wheel, the other one resting on his lap, tapping out the rhythm of the song playing from the speakers. Lips mouthing along with the words- wild and salted hair flopping away from his face, eyes narrowed as they concentrated on the roads ahead. Freckles more prominent from their constant exposure to the bright sun, bandanna ever present and tied around his neck loosely. You knew that staring at him like this was weird, but you couldn’t help yourself- he truly was gorgeous. As if feeling your intense gaze; he turned his face towards you, eyes questioning but lips smiling all the same. You returned the smile weakly, thankful for the car seat beneath you- your knees would have surely buckled otherwise.

               Shaking your head- jeeze, if you couldn’t deal with a smile from John B how could you ask him or even try to convince him to have sex with you; it was a good job there was a kegger tonight, maybe the liquid courage would help you. The twinkie pulled up a short distance from the back of the bar; delivery truck parked there also. You looked to the mission leader; who slapped JJ’s knee alerting him he was needed, before turning back to you and tilting his head- a charming smile in place, as JJ’s head bobbed in between the seats close enough for you to smell the weed clinging to his breath.

               “So… what’s the plan here?” John B asked, eyes glancing between you and JJ- you bit your lip and tried to think of a plan of action, JJ tapped a finger to his lip and John B rolled his eyes at the pair of you. “So we don’t even have half a plan and we need to grab a keg asap… awesome..” he muttered tapping his thumbs against the steering wheel in contemplation- he turned and grinned at you, eyeing your clothing and then putting on the puppy eyes and pout.

               “Oh no… what did you have in mind John B? I feel like I’m not going to enjoy this….” You whined, following his eyes to the jean shorts sitting at your hips and the bikini top covering you- JJ tuned his head and copied the pair of you before laughing and holding his hand to John B to high five. You rolled your eyes and cringed as the brunette patted your shoulder.

               “Use your womanly wiles Y/N… Distract him and me and J will steal the keg, when its in the bus just bail and that’s it..” John B stated, as if it was the easiest thing in the world- you could feel our head shaking mouth open like a fish, not entirely sure you had any womanly wiles. You turned to JJ who smirked and winked at you and pointed to the delivery truck in front of you all. You sighed and ran a hand through your salted hair. John B could sense your reservations and began fluttering his eyes at you; clasping his hands under his chin and puckering his lips into a pout- JJ copied his actions and you crumbled, they had to know how cute they both looked right now, and you hated to admit it even to yourself- but it was like kryptonite. You nodded shakily and breathed out in a slow puff of air before reaching for the door and leaving the safety of the bus- before trudging to you ultimate humiliation. This was a trick you’d seen Kie pull a hundred times over, but you were 99% sure you’d fail miserably and let your boys down. With one more look over your shoulder, you could see them grin and give you encouraging thumbs up, you rolled your eyes and continued to the truck- when you were within hearing distance you let out a small cough to cover the boys getting out of the bus. At the sound of your approach the delivery driver turned to you, you pasted a small smile on your face.

               “Hey.. Sorry to interrupt and all, but I was just uhh wondering if you’d help me?” you asked, nervously ruffling up your hair, walking backwards from the truck slightly- your eyes widened as the driver eyed you up and down not so subtly- a predatory grin slipping onto his features. You could see JJ waving you off from behind the driver- barely nodding your head, you stood a little straighter when the guys eyes devoured you, you stepped away from the truck- internally freaking out. You wandered closer to the edge of the road lined with trees, eyes glancing all around you trying to think of an excuse- eyes focusing on a poster on a phone pole a few feet away. You stopped and turned to see the guy behind you- he moved his eyes to yours quickly, having been enjoying the view. You tried not to gag and looked over his shoulder to see the boys creeping up to the truck.

               “It’s really not a problem, what can I help you with?” he asked, smiling in a way he thought was charming- but he had nothing on JJ or John B; the way those boys smiled should be against the law. You chuckled nervously.

               “I was just wondering if you’d seen a dog run past? I was trying to get him back into my car and he bolted.. guess he saw something more interesting..” You stated- trying to think of how Kie plays this normally, lifting one hand to awkwardly twist in you loose hair, and pouting slightly. The man stepped closer to you, you had to stop putting more space between you when he did.

               “I’ve tried calling for him and everything… I’m just super worried about him, he’s only a puppy…” You stated, grasping at straws as you tried to keep the drivers attention. The man agreed quickly, and he began scanning the trees nearby. You smiled gratefully when he looked up to you, he continued to scan- you looked behind him and gestured wildly to JJ and John B; they were trying to get a keg from the back of the truck without alerting the driver, JJ shook his head and waved his hand at you- motioning for you to carry on.

               “So what does your dog look like? What’s his name and everything? The more information I have the more I can help the damsel in distress…” the man mentioned, smiling in that way again, you could feel your skin crawl as his eyes focused on your chest once more.

“Umm Buddy? He’s a um Golden retriever, big eyes, cute as hell but not too bright…” You stated eyes flickering to JJ and John B behind the driver- they were almost done just about to close the doors to the bus. You panicked as the driver began to turn, so you quickly placed you hand on his chest- grabbing his attention again.

“Do you think he’ll be okay?” You asked quickly, biting your bottom lip- drawing his gaze there. It was as you heard the boys pull up beside you, you sighed out a breath and let your hand drop as soon as JJ slid the side door open for you. Taking a few steps backwards to the bus, you began your retreat and the driver looked more than upset as he spotted one of the kegs in the back with JJ. Your eyes widened and you waved for John B to start driving and you’d catch up. As you jogged backwards trying to ward the man off as John B picked up speed, JJ holding an arm out the side for you to grab when ready.

“You know what… I totally forgot I don’t even have a dog… !” You yelled out as you caught hold of JJ’s hand and he dragged you- poking your head out the door, you waved and blew the driver a kiss as you yelled out “Thanks again!” JJ and John B whooped and laughed loudly- JJ slamming the door shut as you collapsed on the floor, hands covering your face as you felt the waves of humiliation wash over you.

“That was amazing!” John B laughed out beeping the horn and blasting the tunes as the three of you peeled away from the crime scene.

“I don’t even have a dog… !” JJ mimicked you laughing until your stomach hurt. You shook your head and grabbed the Juul from his pocket breathing in the relaxant and waiting for the redness to leave your face.

“I don’t know how Kie does that all the time… It was so awkward and creepy!” You whined hiding your face in your hands again as JJ poked teasingly at your reddened cheek.

“Nahh Y/N, you did good.. Kie can take a break from distraction duties from now on!” John B called out turning his grinning face to you momentarily before focusing back on the road. As you pulled into John B’s drive, you spotted Kie and Pope sitting on the porch waiting for you al to get back. The five of you talked and laughed as you took the keg and other essentials down to the boneyard- you regaled each other with tales from the day; John B and JJ taking great pride in retelling how you distracted the driver for them to steal the very keg they were carrying, as they did they made the whole situation sound better than it really was. You rolled your eyes as Kie wrapped her arm around your neck and repeated John B’s words from earlier.

 The kegger was in full swing- red solo cups filled to the brim with contraband beer or some other alcohol. A bonfire in the middle- keg a little ways off being manned by JJ and John B. You gulped some of the sweet drink Kie had procured for you both from some kook or another. You looked around you again as she dragged you more to wards the bonfire- which seemed to be where everyone was dancing and mingling; JJ and John B filling up cups of tourons and flirting with them shamelessly- the tourons blushing madly and giggling. Pope was a little ways off sitting on some drift wood- talking to a girl, who actually looked interested as he chatted to her, you had no doubts he was talking about pathology again. Kie grabbed your and pulled you towards her and began dancing with you to- you watched the groups of girls and boys grinding on eachother- laughing when Kie mimicked them; throwing it back on you as you danced along. You felt hands on your waist tugging you back into a sweaty chest- Kie stopped dancing and stood abruptly as you were dragged away from her. She settled back to dancing against you as you hips were swayed between her and the person behind you- looking down you saw an adornment of rigs glistening on familiar fingers in the fire light. JJ pulled Kie closer to and in turn you closer to him. Th group danced some more, Pope and John B joining in- each pulling you and Kie into spins and dips- Kie and Pope doing the foot dance form TikTok while JJ pulled you back to him again one arm around your waist, his other hand holding a Juul to your lips for you to toke on. John B danced in front of you, his face low in line with your chest as you shimmied in front of him, his head following- you gripped his chin, pulling him up to full height before trying to push his face away as you blew out the smoke- he laughed and inhaled what he could before stealing it from JJ’s hand and taking a hit himself. JJ tried to protest- but ultimately cheered as John B placed it back between your lips, you in turn took a hit and then passed it back to JJ.

Kie suddenly came spinning back to you, pulling on your hand so you were back to back with her and the pair of you shimmied and swayed your hips together; Pope hyped you both cheering and doing some fancy footwork around you both, JJ and John B whooped joyfully as you all had a blast. You could feel the weed and alcohol giving you a real buzz- you swayed whether you were dancing or not, and gestured to the group to sit down, they followed you in a konga line all the while laughing until you all collapsed on the driftwood seating. You rested your head on Kie’s shoulder and sipped on your drinks- which you’d been refilling and probably had, had too much of already- watching as the boys settled around you both; Pope settling in front of you, shoulders between your legs and head resting on you, JJ across from you trying to blow smoke rings and John B sitting beside you- resting an arm around your waist and nestling closer to you. You all laughed and joked, just enjoying eachothers company with no touron or kook action- and you felt content, this was your happy bubble; booze, weed, your best girl and your best boys. You rubbed one hand in Pope’s hair as Kie leaned in and placed a kiss on your cheek. JJ howled joking about girl-on-girl action, Kie rolled her eyes, flipping him the bird and then gripping your chin and pulling your lips to hers- kissing you gently. When she pulled back you both laughed at the shocked expressions Pope, JJ and John B were all wearing.

“Holy shit…” Pope exclaimed before putting his face in his hands. Kie laughed more raucously- she was always a happy and affectionate drunk, you never really knew what she would do next. You looked over to JJ who was smirking at you, eyes sparkling in the low light- your cheeks heating up as he watched you.

“Huh..” John B murmured, hand squeezing your waist. “On that note.. Best kiss go… !” he said pointing to Kie who giggled.

“Y/N obviously..” she laughed before moving onto wistfully talking about how every kiss was the best one- as each moment was special. Pope told you all about a touron from last summer; who stayed for a few weeks and the pair hung out ‘casually’, his eyes lingering on Kie as he spoke- not that she noticed or would remember tomorrow even if she had.

“Scarlet Masters…” JJ stated, puffing his chest and grinning like the devil. The group of you stared at him and waited for him to elaborate- his grin widened. “Couple of weeks ago, mowed her lawn- guess she wanted to see if it was true what they say about us dirty pogues…” JJ bragged cockily, leaning back and taking a toke on his Juul. John B, Kie and Pope all cheered. You just laughed rolling your eyes. John B went on to say it was, like Pope, a touron from a couple summers passed. The group turned to you- and you fried to focus. Your mind racing through memories; not that you macked on a bunch of people, but you’d had your fair share of macking- but you drew a blank, not being able to pick out one particular kiss that made you want to reminisce. So that’s what you told them; Kie looked heart broken- you thought tears would appear in her eyes soon, so you smoothed her hair out of her face and smiled gently at her, Pope shook his head wildly not wanting to believe it, JJ boo’ed at you and threw a handful of sand your way- most of it landing on Pope, John B just stared at you with an eyebrow raised. The innocent question soon turned into a game of ‘Best…’ everyone taking turns; and all too soon it was asked, ‘Best hook up’. You bit your lip and listened to them all- Pope being more shy about sharing, but he’d had a lot to drink- you could ask for anything and the kid would give it to you. JJ spoke for what felt like eternity- one ‘best’ after another. Kie spoke about the differences between partners; talking about the passion, the yearning and teasing- it almost made you blush as she spoke about the pros of sleeping with girls and boys alike. John B just said it was some rando from the mainland- not giving any details. The group then looked to you, you looked down at the sand you were burying your feet in- refusing to look at any of them as you shrugged- not wanted to say it out loud, when you looked up Kie pouted at you. You brushed your lips against her cheek in comfort.

John B looked penseive, his face carefully compromised to not reveal his thoughts. Pope looked like he wanted to interrogate you, JJ noticed this too and began to regale the group with more of his bedroom tales, Kie scoffing and throwing her empty cup towards him- before feeling guilty and going to pick it up and place it in the recycling bin close by. The part was beginning to wind down- a few other locals helping the five of you tidy up the mess you’d made. Once the beach was clean to Kie’s standards, John B lead you all back to the chateau. You had one arm wrapped around Kie’s waist- one of her wrapped around you- Pope latched onto the other side of her. John B heading up the group, a hand held out behind him holding your loosely- and JJ bringing up the rear. You turned your head to look at the blonde- he was being too quiet, you noticed he was hanging back before grinning wildly at you before charging forwards and grabbing onto your waist dragging you from Kie and John B- swinging you around until you were laughing loudly with the rest of the group after getting over the initial shock. He span you to face his back and bobbed down- beaming over his shoulder as you jumped up and got situated on his back; arms wrapping around his shoulders loosely as your face rested in the crook of his neck- his hands gripping onto the back of your thighs holding you fast to him. He ran to joi the rest of the group, John B taking your previous place next to Kie- JJ ran you both past them all. As you dashed by- you let a hand fall behind you and gripped onto the cap that was resting on John B’s wild hair- he tried to grab for it as you teased him, placing the cap on your own head in a similar fashion to how he usually wore it- blowing him a kiss and tossing him a wink JJ cheered you on. Kie and Pope laughing along. John B smiled gently at you shaking his head and ducking it down slightly.

Eventually you reached the chateau, Kie and Pope flopping onto the pull out- John B waltzing to the kitchen to grab some more beers- JJ still had you wrapped around him and he didn’t seem to mind. Traipsing round the main room with you still held tight against his back- you laughed the entire time. John B handed the beers round you all- as he passed one to JJ, who tapped on your thigh with his fingers gently you dropped from his back and went to sit on the table legs crossed shoes kicked off and sipping on your beer contentedly. John B leaned against the table next to you- leaning an elbow on your shoulder and flicked the peak of his cap smirking at you. You just grinned back. JJ flopped onto the floor in between Kie and Pope resting his head on the pull out behind him, sighing as Kie’s fingers found his hair and began twisting the tresses gently. The pogues all sat chatting idly and nursing your beers until Kie announced she was sleepy and she snuggled down further on the cushions pulling Pope with her. As she manoeuvred, she accidentally knocked JJ with her foot- he exclaimed but stood still and made his way to the bedrooms. Kie made grabby hands towards you and you smiled before dropping a kiss to hers and Pope’s foreheads- both smiling dopily and closing their eyes to sleep.

“Pssst!” John B whispered across the room, nudging his head towards the direction JJ had taken. You followed wrapping an arm around his waist you both shuffled to his room- laughing when you saw JJ sprawled on the bed. John B scoffed and hit at his foot as you leaped on the bed and got comfy. John B rolling his eyes as he joined the pair of you- the usually large enough bed soon felt cramped with all three of you situated on it. JJ twirled a piece of your hair around his finger absently as John B twiddled with the fingers on one of your hands- you all stared at the ceiling above, staring at the star charts there. You were all comfortable, chilling; all of you boosed and buzzed nicely. And you thought ‘Fuck it…’

“I want to have sex!” You announced- as soon as the words left your lips, you almost regretted them as the pair of boys both stopped their fiddling and turned to you. JJ choking on his breath, and John B raiding his eyebrows so high you wondered if they would ever settle back to their normal state. JJ coughed, trying catch his breath looked at you with wide eyes.

“What?” he asked once he had calmed down enough, you let your eyes scrunch shut. This seemed so simple earlier, when you hadn’t told them about your plan and had just decided it would happen- but now they were actually involved and it made you anxious.

“I wanna have sex…. With one of you guys. I know you’ll treat me right, and show me all the things. The sex things… I’m just sick of being horny and a virgin ya feel?” You stated your unoccupied hand coming to rest over your burning face.

“The sex things… shit…” JJ muttered one of his own hands dragging through his own hair. He couldn't take his eyes off you- his fuzzy mind trying to process what you'd just said. You felt like curling up and dying in a corner- you flushed from head to toe and desperately tried to think of a way back from this.

 "What about the rules? No pogue on pogue macking.." John B murmured, his head turned fully towards you as he lifted your hands from you tomato coloured face. JJ rolled onto his side and stared at you too. You puffed out your cheeks.

 "Well... it wouldn't really be macking? It’d be like when you taught me to drive the Pogue or when J taught me to surf, ya know?" You whispered, mortified. You were regretting ever bringing it up, regretting ever thinking of it in the first place, like it was a stupid idea. Of course neither of them would want to have sex with you, the rules were there for a reason- an innocent friendly peck here and there didn’t break the rules, but sex would definitely break them. You turned your head and looked at both boys, either side of you- JJ was frowning and staring at you, you tried not to shrink under his stare. John B had a poker face on- his eyes though were stormy, thoughts tumbling around his brain. You whined and rolled over onto your stomach- burying your head in the pillow. Trying to fight the stinging of your eyes- ignoring the fact that you were crying about this. Maybe that last beer was one too many.

____________________________________________________________________

 At some point you must have fallen asleep, because when you next rolled over- the sun was blazing through John B’s shutters. You groaned pitifully to yourself and tried to gather the strength and will power to move from your pit of despair. A laugh from further within the building, the smell of food wafting through- urging you to move, so you did, eyes finding a discarded shirt from the floor and pulling it on to cover your body some more- your bikini top and shorts not feeling all that comfortable any longer. You waddled your way to the main room in the chateau; eyes catching on John B and JJ as they both sat up straighter when you entered. You coughed nervously and moved around the room collecting the bacon; obviously delivered from the Wreck, and a bottle of water from the fridge. You could feel their eyes following you, and the silence was setting you on edge. You turned to the boys and glanced at them, bottom lip between your teeth as you nibbled on it anxiously- wondering why they were watching you like an animal in the zoo. You took a bite of the bacon and tried not to groan at the feeling of food entering your body; you hadn’t realised how hungry you were until that point.

“Did you mean what you said last night?” JJ  asked, staring you down as you choked on a mouthful of food- you coughed and spluttered as you wracked your brain trying to understand what he was asking you. It was a hazy memory, but one you couldn’t quite forget- you remembered exactly what he meant, you dropped the bacon to the plate and grabbed up your water bottle to try and take a swig. Swallowing slowly to try and sooth the irritation of your throat- your eyes fluttered around the room. JJ looked anxiously at you; his big blue eyes widened, eyebrows raised lips pouted slightly. John B leaned against the wall, hand on JJ’s shoulder- eyes sparkling but face mostly passive. You sighed running a hand through your matted hair- trying to buy yourself more time. Did you mean it, yesterday you had decided the course of action- but then when it came to telling them it felt like the earth was swallowing you up. And now- well, you weren’t sure, you knew you wanted to have sex; you had needs god damn it! But did you really need to involve the boys in your quest to pop your cherry? They didn’t give you much of a response the night before. Which made you feel worse.

“Umm… I guess. I mean I wanna have sex… but if either of you don’t want to.. then I get it, it was super weird of me to ask…” You started out strong- but their combined penetrating gaze making you feel small. JJ nodded, before looking at John B- shrugging his hand off his shoulder, he crossed the room in quick strides and grabbed you up within his arms. And before you could fully comprehend what was happening his chapped lips were pressed to your own. One hand tangling in your hair and the other pulling you close to him. You gasped into the kiss when his lips began moving against your own- his tongue swiping along your bottom lip, seeking your own. Opening up to him, he slipped his tongue to meet you, caressing over your own. Tangling in a dance that was beginning to kindle a fire within. Your hands came up to wrap around him, as one of his large hands came to hold your jaw- angling you face to deepen the kiss. You could feel the breath leaving your body, your knees weakening and a lust bubbling under your skin. The hand resting at your waist squeezed tightly- wrinkling the fabric of the soft, borrowed t-shirt you were wearing, his fingers slid towards you thigh- gently stroking over the smooth skin there- a light moan leaving your lips and JJ chuckled against you- his chest rumbling with the noise and he pulled back, leaving gentle pecks on your lips softly before pulling away completely and peering in to your breathless face. You breathed deeply, trying to regain some semblance of control- you were still wrapped around JJ as a second pair of hands tugged you away and settled you in front of their body.

You looked up into John B’s sparkling eyes, the light smirk playing on his inviting lips. You hadn’t quite wrapped your mind around what had just happened- but John B placed his hands on your hips and pulled you against him as he perched on the edge of the table; legs spread wide enough for you to stand between them- then pressed his lips against you. There was no rush; his soft lips smoothing over your own, gentle and languid- but that didn’t stop the heat bubbling under your skin. Your hands found his sun kissed tresses and you buried themselves there, tangling within and pulling the pair of you closer. John opened his mouth- teeth nipping at your bottom lip and suckling it between his own deepening the kiss. You moaned weakly and felt you body lean more into him as the recent events and current ones took a toll on you. John B’s lazy kisses became fervent- rushed; nibbling, sucking and teasing pushing and pulling you in to him. When he pulled away as breathless as you- you frowned trying to chase his lips, wanting them back. The boys both chuckled, the rumbling sound bringing you back to reality. John B’s hands still held your hips fast to him, and one of JJ’s hands brushed your hair from your face. You took a steadying breath and forced your mind to focus- which was harder than it should be, with John B’s hands holding you tightly, his and JJ’s kiss still burning on your lips. you pushed his hands from you hips and stepped away from the pair, trying to breath calmly.

Now you had some space, you could see the pair smirking at you; eyes twinkling at you, their lips plump and looking so inviting. JJ raised a hand and his thumb rest against his bottom lip- while John B clapped his hands and rubbed them together in front of him.

“We’re in…” John B stated confidently, arms folding over his chest- JJ nodding along emphatically and grinning wide. You gasped, eyes widening and nodding- letting your mind catch up. You were still kiss drink from them, a hand raising to rest on your forehead. You looked up and stared at the boys- they just stood smirking.

“There’s gonna be some rules though; we’re both going to help you, cause you didn’t specify who.” JJ stated gesturing between them both as you stood- still shocked but nodding nonetheless.

“We’ll go at your pace, and only do things with you when you say.. yes we’re teaching you, but this is on your terms.” John B stated, gesturing to you, smirk still in place.

“We don’t tell Kie and Pope about this, obviously..” JJ shrugged his shoulders, at the mention of their names you looked towards the pull out and sighed when you saw they had already left.

“Now we need to know what exactly you do know and we can go from there..” John B winked, he moved to the pull out and flopped down onto it, JJ copying his actions before gesturing you to join them. You settled between the boys and waited, you wondered whether the booze from last night was bad or something- cause none of this was making sense.

“Do you know what gets you off?” JJ murmured in to your ear, one hand brushing your hair away from your shoulder- lips dropping a kiss there as he waited for you to respond. You looked to John B beside you, who just shrugged, eyebrow raised. You breathed deeply, JJ resting his chin on your shoulder- you knew the theory and mechanics of sex; but hadn’t put it into practice, nerves bubbled in your tummy as you continued your train of thought. You’d watched porn, and 50 shades- you had used your fingers to ease your libido- you knew how to work them to work yourself to orgasm. But you’d never been touched by another person in that way and you’d never touched another in that way.

“I’ve watched porn before…” You mumbled, cheeks blazing- JJ buried his head in your neck, gently pecking the area. John B traced a finger up your thigh before dropping his hand on it and squeezing gently.

“It’s not realistic.. but a good place to start kinda..” the brunette murmured softly. “Have you ever gotten yourself off?” he asked, a delicate blush covering his tan cheeks- you on the other hand burned with embarrassment and the earlier lust beginning to trickle throughout again. You could only nod.

“That’s good, you know what you like, you can teach us how..” JJ whispered, his lips brushing the shell of your ear, sending shivers through you- the boys both chuckling at your response. The blonde dropping a kiss to your neck and shoulder again before standing up and high-fiving John B- he winked at you and left the chateau- you and the Routledge boy alone- the silence within almost deafening. John B squeezed your thigh gently, ducking his head slightly to be face-to-face with you.

“You wanna try something now?” he whispered- watching as you bit into your bottom lip and nodded. He lurched forward and attached your lips together once more. He wasn’t slow and relaxed this time, he instantly pried your lips apart with his tongue and tangled it with yours. Kissing into you passionately, gently nudging you back to lie on the pull out- he hovered over you, pulling from your lips to kiss around your mouth, then lower discovering you neck like an unmapped land. You moaned as his teeth nipped at your skin- you could feel the grin he wore as he continued to assault your neck. He let one hand hold your jaw, and pulled back- he manoeuvred the pair of you to sit once more, his other arm trailing and resting around your waist- squeezing and lifting you until you were somehow straddling him.  You whimpered as he sucked and nipped playfully at you neck. You pulled back to stare at him; he was smiling wolfishly, eyes ablaze, lips kiss-swollen and cheeks dusted with a blush as he stared back at you. You untangled his hand from you hair- ghosting over your neck and the light marks he’d left- grin widening slightly- before plucking gently at the t-shirt you were wearing.

“Looks good on you..” he whispered, grin still in place- he was breathing deeply, and you took a moment to eye his torso; abs working slightly as he breathed quickly. He tilted your chin up and kissed you again- this time with no rush, it was languid and arousal seared through your entirety. His hands took up residence on your thighs, calloused fingers brushing the skin, pushing the large t-shirt up, you whimpered against his lips. He felt so good against you- soft lips kissing against you, hard muscle supporting you- your hand trailed to rest on his chest, it flexing against you hat palm- his skin hotter beneath it. Your body reacting to his lightest of touches- lips fusing together, panting into eachother’s mouths, as neither of you wanted to part. Your hips twitched on top of him, a shock running through your body as he moaned as the contact of your clothed cores rubbing a delicious friction for you both. He gripped onto your hips, fingers digging in, in an enticing manner; he held your hips and guided you over him. Grinding you on top of him, your whines and moans echoing throughout the chateau- his matching sounds slightly quieter than yours. As your body moved and rubbed against him in a tantalising way, one of his hands raised to traced the curve of your body- fingers spreading wide and resting over your ribs, just underneath your breast- thumb gently running along the bottom of you bikini top teasingly.

Your hand found his and cupped it around you, encouraging him to squeeze and tease you. He didn’t disappoint; squeezing gently, exploring the area, letting his fingers tease you hard nipple- pinching and flicking it. All the while your hips worked furiously against him, there was a pressure building within as you could feel him hard beneath; through your clothes, the material rubbing right against you clit in a maddening way. You worked your hips with more fervour focus, you could feel that overwhelming knot tying and twisting tightly within- fraying until it snapped, your climax washing over you forcefully. You moaned and buried your head in the crook of his neck- he panted beneath you, the pair of you trying to catch your breath and calm your racing hearts. The fire within you only burned on, as you could still feel him pressing against you harshly- you began moving your hips, slowly, you were sensitive and knew a second release wouldn’t take long. But John B gripped your hips tightly and stopped you movements, shaking his head.

“No, no, no- this is all for you okay? Don’t worry about me…” he chuckled, his voice deeper than normal- making you want to grip his head and kiss him into oblivion, you restrained yourself as he helped you to sit beside him. Wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you in close to him. You two stayed cuddled together long after your racing hearts had calmed and you breathing had returned to normal, eventually he stood from the pull out, tugging you with him and leading you to his room before traipsing to the bathroom by himself. Your eyes caught on the bulge in his shorts making you blush- one he spotted and sent a wink to you. You laid in his bed and tried to wrap your mind around the happenings of the day. When John B appeared again, he had a towel slung low on his hips- making your mouth go dry, he searched for clothes and explained that you’d stop by your place to change and then you were going to meet the others for a day on the boat as usual. You nodded, more focused on watching him cover up his still damp body with an unbuttoned shirt, board shorts, backwards cap, converse and his ever present bandanna tied around his neck. He looked over to you, chuckling as he clocked the mark on your own neck, grabbing another bandanna; he tied it around your throat like his own. Dropping a kiss to the corner of your lips, smirking when he pulled away. He dragged you out of the chateau and to the parked bus- ready to start your day even though it was nearing the afternoon by this point. You both got settled in the Twinkie before setting off. ___________________________________________________

Taglist; @fobobozobo   @nikki082489

[regardingseas]

Ttile: Echoed Vexations (Part One, part two linked)

Fandom: Hermitcraft

Rating: Teen and up audiences (violence warning)

AO3: here! (Full story at once)

•••

Plot Summary:

It's all too easy to turn a blind eye to the past-- to believe that because someone has been shielded from harm's way, they should no longer fear the wrath of their opponent's creed. They're safe now, after all, so why would they..?

Yes, Scar and Cub are certainly "safe", but they're still haunted by memories of the Vex and their deals all the same.

OR

An average afternoon during the HCB Base Swap is cut short when Mumbo accidentally digs up a remnant from Scar's Vex partnership days, and unfortunately for the town's mayor, the other Hermit is far from aware just how triggering the topic can truly be. Things only dissolve from there, and in the end, Grian lends a helping hand to console a friend.

•••

Additional Content Warnings:

Depictions of trauma disorders, panic attacks, flashbacks, paranoid thoughts/delusions, manipulation, gaslighting, threats, injury, and violence. Mentions of religious themes, unintentional self-harm, and non-permanent character death.

Do be careful, but otherwise, enjoy!

•••

The sun was still high in the sky even as Scar finished decorating the monument's support chains, sweltering rays beaming down and adding to the oppressive humidity of the jungle around him. With his usual jacket set aside to fight the heat, he wiped away the beads of sweat that had gathered on his forehead and grabbed a stray bucket from the sidelines. He'd nearly finished the waterfall aspect of the design-- crystal blue streams cascading over the edges of four white spanners, all joining together in the octagonal pool at the base's foundation. It was looking quite spectacular, if he were to say so himself, with the vine-coiled braces and additional water currents tying the otherwise juxtaposing themes together nicely.

Scar scooped up a fresh pail of water, filling it to the brim and hauling it towards the last pillar. He glanced down at the container as he carried it, catching a glimpse of his reflection from the liquid inside. His face shone red with effort, misplaced strands of hair having clung themselves to his tan skin.

Though unsurprised, he still couldn't help but laugh at the rippling image. "It's just my luck I'd swap with another jungle dwelling Hermit. I swear, I can never escape this climate for long. First the island last year, then all this."

With a shake of his head he returned his gaze upwards, continuing to muse aloud to the landscape before him, "You tropics are wonderful and all, but it sure would've been a nice change of pace to set up camp in somewhere like the mountains. Or pull total 180 and have landed in the tundras!"

Concepts for each design raced through his head, each idea fighting the others for dominance and tacking details onto itself, trying to land its place on the metaphorical pedestal of his imagination. A cottage with medieval influences? No, that would be far too typical, amp both of those components up. An entire village with a steampunk driven aesthetic, built into the mountainscape itself; no doubt with custom terraforming to integrate the buildings into the natural environment. That was more like it.

Scar could envision working windmills and waterwheels accompanying purposefully makeshift farmlands, historic blimps having reclaimed skies where they'd soar high overhead. Below them, eye-catching pops of colour, shining through as floating lanterns that hover above connective rope bridges.

As for the arctic concept? Something more grand would be ideal. In his fantasy, he'd created an absolute oxymoron of the words cabin and mansion jumbled together, and he adored it that way. A bottom floor made of bricked stone, the top made of logs and large windows to oversee the view. Accompanying them in the same manner would be a balcony, propped on columns that hugged the building and curved around its corners. The top deck would be open for clear days, and the space below it safe on harsher ones. Sloped roofs would be adorned with chimneys, and the interior warmed by cozy flames that were kept organized with inviting lofts. The living area could be split leveled, sinking down to create its own margin where guests could comfortably gather by the fireplace and--

There was a tug at his ankle, and next thing he knew, a bemused Scar went crashing to the ground, having been too caught up to notice the trailing plants blocking his footway. His hands shot out to catch himself, palms scraping against the concrete floor in a way similar to the childhood stunt of crashing and burning on the pavement. A stinging snapped up his arms, and the water bucket dropped from his grasp, clattering down with a metallic rumble before spilling its contents across the floor.

Scar pushed himself upright with a hiss of air through his teeth, shaking off his grazed palms and wiping them on his jeans. Pulling his foot free from the greenery and gathering himself up was no problem, what was a problem, however, was the troubling sight now before him.

The water had spilled all over one of Mumbo's redstone contraptions, causing the device to short circuit and emit a sort of maroon-grey smoke. The wires fashioned from the compacted dust had been all but washed away, any remaining pieces hanging on by threads and failing miserably whenever a signal attempted to fire; more so sizzling rather than surging alight with energy.

"Oh, crud!" he shouted, racing towards the machine and yanking on the shut-off switch to divert any further input from the broken setup.

It powered down, but Scar was still left swatting the coloured smoke from his face, coughing as the scent of burnt metallics filled his nostrils. When had he gotten so absorbed in possible building opportunities that he'd managed to miss the foliage in front of him? Why had he even been wondering so deeply about it, anyway? This event was about improving one another's bases by adding their own personal touches, not starting a new project entirely.

Scar sighed, he wasn't sure why his mind had begun drifting so far. He'd like to blame it on the wild imagination of a builder, but he had a feeling there was a little more to it. Sometimes, when the world wasn't too much to handle, it was too easy to let fall away. Maybe he spent too much time daydreaming-- he was sure there was a word for that, when trances became so all encompassing, so engrossing.

"But I don't have time to think about that right now," he reminded himself, "I really need to fix this. It doesn't look like most of this redstone is salvageable, I'll have to get new supplies to repair it. Maybe some of the circuits are okay..?"

Scar nudged a repeater with his shoe, the device making an unnatural sloshing noise in his attempt to change the feed-in. He scrunched up his nose, "Okay, nope, gonna need to replace that, too."

Running a hand through his hair in defeat, he glanced towards Mumbo's storage system before shaking his head. It wouldn't be right to use the other man's supplies without asking, let alone waste them on a mistake made due to Scar's own carelessness. He'd have to make his way back to his original base and gather the materials from there once more. When he dropped by initially, he figured he'd gotten everything he needed, but apparently hadn't accounted for dissociation-induced redstone mishaps.

"I guess we're making a trip back," Scar announced to no one, finally picking up the empty bucket to set it safely aside. He made his way over to his tent, temporarily discarding any excess materials and bidding adieu to Jellie before grabbing his elytra and setting off.

Taking to the skies, Scar squinted against the wind as it roared in his ears. His hair parted itself from where it had stuck, short locks brushed back by the flowing breeze. With arms extended for balance, and maybe a dash of amusement, he lit his rockets and propelled himself into the distance.

-----

It wasn't long before he encroached on his base again, allowing his faux wings to glide him downward where he kicked out his legs to come to a soft landing. Scar stopped before the massive drill site just on the outskirts of the forest, heading towards the agglomeration of crates and boxes he had haphazardly stowed aside. He was certain there had to be the necessary hardware in one of the many containers, though which that may be was lost on him. At least, thanks to Mumbo and his new storage system, the chest monster he'd created would soon be a thing of the past.

"I wonder how that's going for him..." Scar pondered, striding over to a random shulker and beginning his sure-to-be protracted search.

"Scar?" a familiar voice interrupted, making him peer ahead to see the moustached man himself rounding the corner. "Hello there! I see you've made yourself rather at home at my base," Mumbo teased.

He couldn't help but chuckle, "That I have. I just needed to stop by and pick up some redstone and iron. With all the ore this place has quarried up, I was sure there's bound to be more of that here than back at Larry."

Mumbo faked surprise with a hearty grin, "Getting into mechanics, are we? Have the inner workings of the temple really had that much influence on you after only a few days?"

"Now I wouldn't say that," Scar shook his head and closed the lid of the grey shulker, seeing no point in hiding the truth. "I took a tumble holding a bucket of water and it kinda spilled on one of the contraptions. I'm sorry for the trouble-- but don't worry! I came here to fix it right up. I just didn't wanna waste your materials fixing my silly error."

The suited man waved his hand dismissively, "Nonsense, it's no trouble. Have you seen the improvements you've made to that place? I mean, of course you've seen them, you built them, but rhetorically speaking--" Mumbo cleared his throat, "Just don't fret over it, I trust that you'll have it fixed right up in no time."

Scar smiled, "Thanks, dude. Now I just have to find where on Earth I put those ore…"

Mumbo gave another laugh, "You know, you can feel free to use some of my things if need be. I have no idea how you expect to find anything in this mess. I'm only trying to do a basic look through so I know where to begin when it comes to the item sorter, but even that doesn't seem to do much good. I swear, it's like trying to play a very intense game of memory, with thousands of nonsensical cards all scattered about."

Scar snickered sheepishly at the comparison, "Yeah, no kidding. But being able to use some resources without flying all the way over here would be great. Thanks again, Mumbo. I don't know if there's anything you'll need here while working, but hey, consider it free range. We're doing these things for each other in the long run, anyway."

"I'd say, 'unless we don't switch back our deeds', but in all honesty? I'm beginning to miss the ol' living monument already."

The two exchange a chuckle before returning to their previous tasks, both going back to digging through the pile of chests in preparation for their projects.

It took longer than Scar wanted to admit to finally find the crate stocked with valuables-- sighing in relief at the sight and immediately beginning to pile the items into his inventory. There were pre-smelted metals from an iron farm, so he didn't have to bother with the ore, and the redstone he'd gathered was already in dust from, meaning all he'd have to do was craft the items after returning.

"I wonder if it would've been easier to stop by the shopping district and buy these directly, instead of making them by hand..." he said, "Oh well, saves on diamonds, and these had to be used some time, I guess."

"Talking to yourself over there?" Mumbo asked.

"Just thinking aloud is all."

"I see," the moustached man nodded, pushing himself up from where he'd been examining the supplies. "I found something neat from last year! Do you wanna see?"

"Sure!" Scar agreed, setting aside his intent of flying back in favour of seeing what it was Mumbo had to show him.

He smiled and stepped over to Scar, holding out a faded piece of paper for them both to see, "I found it stuck to the bottom of a shulker box! Can you believe we used to be competition so recently?" He joked.

Scar could only stare at the advert before him, a steele blue page embellished with a vault-like ring in the center. It meant nothing to the untrained eye, but to him, all of the company's horrors were sealed underneath. ConCorp read bold text in half-connected lettering, the logo finalizing its signature with a black bow tie adorning the bottom.

"Hardly," managed Scar, having just remembered he'd been asked a question, "But it wasn't that recent."

"It was practically yesterday if we're talking business," Mumbo snickered, "but we aren't. I'm not very good at business."

"Me neither, I prefer mayorship," he said in an attempt to change the subject.

Mumbo, however, didn't seem to notice, only turning to stare at Scar with eyes wide. "Are you kidding me? You were quite literally the richest Hermit of all last year! You're wonderful at business. Sahara was amazing, and I don't for a second doubt it was the most ambitious project of our group to date, but she had plenty of bugs, being the machine powered industry that she was. ConCorp, however? That was an utter monopoly! The thing lasted two bloody seasons!"

Scar chuckled awkwardly, "I know, I know, Cub and I worked very hard. But it wasn't all us, we couldn't have done it alone."

"Give yourself more credit," Mumbo insisted, "I'm more than convinced you could have gotten your business up and running even without the help of your Vex friends. Weren't they less prominent in your company last year, anyway? You did change your guy's name from ConVex to ConCorp, after all. I think that would imply less input on their part."

"Not really," he explained, though the tension building in his body was becoming harder to conceal. He had to keep his arms rigid so that they wouldn't shake, forcing in deep breaths to avoid the shaky ones that threatened to take their place. "We just thought it would be better for business, rebranding to something more gentlemanly and all."

Mumbo nodded, "Ah, that makes sense. Though I still don't understand how you managed to work with them to begin with. I likely wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes. I mean business partners with the Vex? Friends, even? How'd you do it? Not to mention why? With all due respect, what makes one seek that out?"

Scar blinked hard at the influx of questions, "Oh, it's- it's really complicated, you might not understand. Cub started it, though. I joined the team not long after, but I wasn't there when he first struck the deal with Them."

"Huh, some deal," Mumbo remarked thoughtfully, and Scar nodded.

He had no idea.

"So what made you leave that behind?" Mumbo continued.

"What?" he asked, finding his thoughts hazy. They were static nothingness, but somehow also crashing into his skull. He found himself having to dig his way through them, while at the same time trying to bury them once he passed. The last thing Scar wanted was to do was hark back to the Vex, to beckon forth Their memory with his own.

The other man simply chuckled, oblivious to Scar's inner turmoil. "ConCorp, the Vex. Did you two just get bored? Having done the same thing for too long?"

"In a sense, you could definitely say we were tired of it. It just- well, it wasn't what we wanted to do anymore. We wanted to move on to new things."

"That's fair enough. Do you blokes still get along? Or did they take the corporation's end like a sour breakup?"

This time, Scar couldn't contain his wince. "We're still friends!" he insisted, "Of course the Vex are my friends."

Mumbo finally quirked a brow, "Are you sure about that? You don't have to worry about hiding some burnt corporal bridges from me, I'm not here to judge."

"Oh yeah, I'm positive," he nodded eagerly, "I'm just- I'm gonna go work on fixing that contraption I damaged, best to get it fixed before we have to switch back."

"Buddy, are you sure everything's alright? I'm sorry if I upset you or anything."

"Nah, I'm just peachy!" Scar announced with far too much false enthusiasm, internally cringing at his failed masking abilities. Not allowing any more time for his ruse to be cracked, he uttered a quick goodbye before adjusting the straps on his elytra and dashing off, leaping into the air and back towards the ruins.

"Scar, wait!" Mumbo tried, but he was already gone.

------

The returning flight was far from the peaceful journey he'd made to the excitation site. His artificial wings beat frantically, struggling to keep up as he charged forward with excessive firepower. He paid no mind to the safety protocol regarding the rocket's cool-down period, simply heralding through the air as fast as his elytra would carry him. Scar arrived back to the monument in a trip overall much faster than when he'd left, but it seemed to drag on for an eternity. The entire excursion consisted of a battle with his own mind-- a war in which he knew he was bound to lose, but he had to hold down the fort until he was on solid ground.

Scar was lucky not to crash into the debris upon landing, frantically stumbling to the dirt and having to grasp onto a piece of wreckage to maintain his balance. His legs nearly buckled under his weight, form trembling in spite of the deep breaths he gave it his all to draw in.

He grasped hard to the rubble, trying to anchor his brain into focus. He couldn't let his thoughts spiral, he couldn't think about Them. He knew grounding techniques, and he tried to rush his way through them.

Five things you can see.

He could see the golden heart, plants, stone, the golden heart again-- the thing was too anatomically correct, he'd seen horrors too similar to it before. And the sound, it was too damn loud, too hard to ignore. Its unsteady rhythm hammering in his ears alongside his own faltering pulse.

Forget visuals, four different noises?

Scar squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to listen, focusing hard on the world around him. Still, he could only hear the heart. He could only hear it pounding, its once melodic notes like nails on a chalkboard. He could remember far too many times when he was left alone with nothing but his heartbeat and his pleas.

Tactile. Texture. What can you feel? Three things you can feel.

Internally, he screamed at his dulling senses to return. God, he didn't want to think about Them, it wasn't worth the risk. They'd been inside his head before, and the mere idea of having his thoughts broadcasted again made his stomach churn. Scar tried harder and harder to suppress the images bubbling to the surface, festering like maggots in an old wound. The more he tried to push them down, however, the fiercer they'd rise back up, and he choked down a sob in attempt to list the sensations he could currently identify.

He could feel the stone-- but he already said the stone, didn't he? He could also feel the sun. It was hot against his back. So hot. He was overheating.

The notes should have been a success, but the drops of sweat felt too akin to tricking blood. The sting of his hands felt too much like the friction burn of a rope. It felt too much like he was back with the Vex again, and as he finally sunk to the soil, he could no longer swim against the onslaught of memories crashing over him like a tidal wave.

They could still hear him, They could still hear him, They could still hear him, They could still get him--

------

The day he and Cub first found the courage to try and cut ties with the Vex had been a hellish one, and the two men weren't even successful in their attempt. Hence, of course, it being the first.

Still, it had taken ages for Scar to persuade Cub that it was even worth trying, the other man having believed it was impossible to sneak anything past the Vex on their own. Scar was persistent, however, and eventually convinced his friend they had a shot if they played their cards right, if they made the right proposal without their intentions being discovered.

They'd constructed their plans in secret for weeks; discussing them only inside of untold locations with hushed whispers, or in the form of coded scrawls they'd burn immediately after reading. They couldn't be too careful, that's what they'd tell themselves whenever they worried their precautionary measures may be over the top. Even so, when a so-called conference was put on the schedule --such events were far from any type of cordial meeting, despite having been assigned the title of one-- the men were hardly prepared for it.

Their conference room consisted of a needlessly grandiose suite, with floors of marble and walls carved from deep umber wood. The polished lumber was adorned with expensive paintings in aureate frames; antique laden shelves taking up the spaces they did not. Aesthetically pleasing decorative tactics were discarded in favour of showing off their riches in a possessive cluster, with the only average items being the table and its chairs sat in the dead center of the area. A chandelier of gemstone and gold swung from above, dangling by the same chains fated to one day bind their vassals.

"Concordats, greetings!" A Vex declared as the men were led through the doorway, hovering in the air at the opposing end of the surface.

"Greetings," parroted Cub minimally, Scar giving a plain nod beside him. Fewer words meant less chance at letting their guard down.

"We've been needing to speak with you," a different Vex chimed.

"Speak with you about the business," yet another visitant confirmed.

"We actually need to discuss similar matters with you all," Scar noted, voice and expression a façade of tranquility.

"You do?" the first asked, wide smile replaced with inquiry.

"Yes," managed Cub, "we want to make you an offer, one you can't refuse."

"I do like the sound of that!" the second snickered.

"We'll hear your offer," the Vex grinned, "we only have one question first!"

"Of course, what is it?" asked Scar, in mental awe of how well their exchange was going.

"Do you recognize these?" it asked, gesturing towards the white table where a blue light flashed, fading away to reveal a small pile of ash.

Cub and Scar glanced to one another in evident confusion, the latter of the two speaking once again, "Forgive me, but we're not sure what you're talking about."

"Oh, silly me!" the Vex giggled, another flash of luminesce encompassing the soot and leaving a stack of papers in its place. As if caught in a controlled gust, they blew from the surface and organized themselves midair; levitating in a cloud of magic.

All of their once burnt notes were lined up before them, cyphers needed to crack their messages included.

Still beaming with innocence, it continued, "How about now? Look familiar?"

The blood drained from their faces, and Scar could have sworn his heart was going to burst from his chest with how hard it was drumming. He wanted to wake up, because this had to be a nightmare.

"No, we have no idea what those are," he tried.

LAIR!

Overlapping voices screamed in his head, all sounding in haunting unison. Scar hastily clapped his hands over his ears, but it did nothing to silence the uproar emanating from within.

You try to break our contract then lie to our faces?

Foolish concordats.

Terrible secret keepers, terrible subjects.

Cub seized hold of Scar's arm and made a break for the door with the brunet in tow, reaching the exit and tugging desperately on the handles. They refused to turn under his grasp, and his eyes darted back towards the Vex; floating creatures growing ever closer to their imaginary bubble providing them with the illusion of safety.

More of Them were phasing in through walls, forms non-corporeal and having no need for the sealed entryway.

Apologize.

They all ordered, Scar flinching at the simultaneous projection. He lowered his hands and turned towards Them, watching Their unmoving grins with wide eyes.

Kneel before your gods and divulge your prayers, we may just show you mercy.

"I'm sorry-" Scar whimpered, but Cub was having none of it.

"No!" the man barked, "Screw this! This isn't worth it! None of this is worth it! He's right! The business, the money, the power, it-- it means nothing! Not when you treat us like this!"

They watched him step forward, his furious yells echoing through the expanse of the room, "We're done! And we mean it! You're going to get us go or else!"

An orchestra of shrill cackles filled the air.

Oooh, it's angry.

They're fighting back!

Teach them a lesson.

"You won't dare make another-" Cub's retaliation was cut short with a cry, the bearded man dropping to the ground in a swift crash.

"Cub!" Scar called, but his attempt to step towards his friend was met only with a searing pain through his legs and the subsequent buckling of his knees. He fell to the marble, limbs heavy as if they'd been weighted. It took considerable force to balance on his arms, appendages left shaking as he peered back up towards the Vex.

He regretted it instantly.

•••

(Part two)