#how do you want to do this ? | throne of roses & nerd squad
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the-thieves-gambit · 1 month ago
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the-thieves-gambit · 4 months ago
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@never-surrender @dozenrozez @florxdexcerezos
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"I love you , I'm glad we're friends"
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4fter-hours-archive · 6 months ago
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the-thieves-gambit · 2 days ago
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asksciencesquad · 7 years ago
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WELP guess I should finally post this damn thing. I’ve picked at it wayyyy more than I need to and I just have to accept that it’s never going to be perfect.
I referenced this event like 500 years ago in a previous ask if anyone even remembers but decided it was too ambitious for a whole comic, then realized it would be a good excuse to write again. Sorry if you guys were expecting something visual, but it just be like that sometimes. I haven’t done any creative writing in a while (let alone post it on the internet) so it’s probably not my best  the plot structure is weird, the narrative distance is wildly inconsistent, there’s probably way too much dialogue but it’s something and it’s actually done, so here we are.
(s/o to those of my friends who were able to read this and give me feedback, you’re amazing and I love u)
Summary: The squad visits the Barrier to do some research for an ongoing study. Things quickly go off the rails.
New Home was easily the busiest place in the entire Underground. Monsters of all shapes and sizes lived in the capital, bustling about its streets almost every hour of the day. Most of the inhabitants paid little mind to the others around them, too focused on their own business to pay attention to anyone else.
The three monsters hurrying through the crowds drew a few stares, however.
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“G, could you slow down a little bit??” Sans called to the colleague rushing ahead of him. A few feet behind him, Alphys struggled to keep up. She adjusted the backpack slung over her shoulders, muttering something about a laptop.
Gaster stopped and waited for the other two to catch up. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize you were falling behind.” He set down the case he was carrying. He hoped the delicate scientific instruments inside hadn’t been jostled too much from his running. Normally he would’ve been a lot more careful with them, but he and his friends were behind schedule.
Sans set his case down as well, flexing his fingers a few times to unstiffen them. “The streets are so packed. They really couldn’t have sent us at a less busy time of the day?”
Gaster shrugged a little. “I’m sure they just wanted to make things harder for us. At least we’re almost there.” He turned to look at the imposing structure of the castle, visible even from several blocks away. The stone walls rose higher than most of the other buildings, making it discernible from far outside the city. It was the same monotonous gray as the other buildings around it and in the rest of New Home. The only significant difference was that the tops of the castle’s tallest towers had been painted blue – a bright spot of color in a sea of gray.
Neither he nor his friends had ever been inside. While the King could often be found wandering the streets and making small talk with his subjects, the castle was largely closed off to ordinary citizens. Gaster, at least, was excited to see it. The three of them were being sent to go to the Barrier, collecting measurements for an ongoing study. Gaster was interested to see it in person; maybe it was twisted to look forward to seeing the very thing that trapped him and his fellow monsters underground, but his curiosity got the better of him.
The tall skeleton looked back at his companions. “Should we keep going?”
Sans picked up his case again; the lizard monster next to him squinted at Gaster. “Just remember not to leave us behind again. Not everyone has a three-foot stride like you do,” she said.
“Oh, my strides are not three feet long,” Gaster responded. He smirked. “Maybe if you two weren’t so short, you could keep up.”
“H-hey!” Alphys protested. “We’re both slightly below average. You’re the one who’s ridiculously tall!”
“… Yeah, I guess that’s true.” At six and a half feet, he certainly towered over a good portion of the monster population.
By now they were only a few blocks from the castle. A flight of stairs led up to the entrance where several Royal Guards were stationed, watching closely for any signs of trouble. The sight was a little intimidating, even to the most innocent civilians.
“So…” Sans scanned the line of guards. “How does this work, exactly? Do you go up to them and say, ‘Hey, we’re the guys here to look at the Barrier, please let us in’? Or is the King himself maybe gonna bring us there?” Sans gave Alphys a playful nudge. Her normally yellow scales reddened.
Gaster rolled his eyes. “What we need to do is show them the official letter that was sent to the lab asking for someone to help collect the data. The guards and the King should know we’re coming.”
“Letter, huh? Didja get that when you volunteered all three of us to do this without asking me and Alphys first?”
“Are you still upset about that?” Gaster replied. “Okay, I know I probably should have asked, but if I hadn’t spoken up someone else would have volunteered. I figured all three of us could use a few more brownie points after the last… incident.”
There was an awkward pause between all three of them. A couple weeks ago, a power transformer they had been working on sparked violently, starting a small fire in their lab. No one got hurt, and the damage was minor, but nobody at the facility had been very happy with them. Gaster continued. “This won’t even take that long – a couple hours, at most. Besides, have either of you ever seen the Barrier?” He glanced back at his colleagues. They both shook their heads. “Neither have I. It’ll be interesting.”
They were almost at the stairs leading up to the castle’s main entrance. If the guards noticed them, they didn’t show any sign of it, remaining as stoic as ever. The scientists paused at the bottom of the steps, and Gaster fished the printed document from his pocket. He unfolded it and looked it over, his confidence wavering. He could usually keep his head in these kinds of situations, but the fact that this task involved royal affairs made him apprehensive. The stares of the ever-watching guards weren’t helping, either.
“Uh… do either of you want to ask them about this?” he asked hopefully, looking back at his friends.
“Nah, I’m good,” Sans answered.
Alphys shook her head. “You got us into this, you should do it.”
“What are you muttering about down there?” a gruff voice said behind them.
Gaster turned quickly to see who had addressed them. A large dragon-monster guard stood in front of the rest of the castle’s lineup, giving them a hard look.
“Oh, uh, nothing!” Gaster answered hastily. “We’re just, uh…” He climbed the steps up to the guard, Sans and Alphys following behind. He showed the letter to the dragon. “Actually, we’re here to look at the Barrier. I’m sure King Asgore told you we’d be coming, right?”
The guard grabbed the paper and looked it over. “Oh yeah, I remember hearing about this.” He stuffed the letter in his own pocket. “Don’t suppose you three have some kinda ID, do you?”
Gaster and Alphys produced their ID cards from the lab, at which the guard gave a nod of approval. Sans had to dig around in his pocket, but finally found his card and held it up for the guard to see. It was far more beat up than the other two, and had a strange stain on one corner. After a couple seconds, the guard nodded, albeit hesitantly.
He turned to the lineup of other guards. “Artan, take these guys up to the Barrier,” he said, pointing at a lion monster.
“Yes, sir. Follow me,” the guard said with a look at the scientists. They gathered up their gear and followed him to the doors. The guard let them enter before stepping into the castle himself. The entrance was large, as expected. The walls were made of gray stone, much smoother and polished than the exterior. A large and ornate rug covered most of the floor. The weak light of the Underground trickled through several small windows placed high above them, and a chandelier hung from the ceiling. Besides a couple chairs pushed up against the walls, the area was otherwise rather empty – almost uncomfortably so.
Artan led them down a side hallway. The scientists followed closely behind in silence. After a moment, he peered back at them. “So… all three of you are scientists?” he asked.
“Yup,” Sans said, nodding. “We’re all huge nerds.”
“Really? You guys don’t look like it.”
“Like scientists?” Gaster raised a brow. “What are we supposed to look like?”
The guard thought. “I dunno. Lab coats, older, kinda stuffy…” He looked directly at Gaster. “I kinda thought you were a bodyguard or something at first.”
“What? Why?”
Artan looked away, clearly uncomfortable. “Uh… mostly ‘cause of the cracks, honestly.”
Of course. Gaster reached up to touch the small crack running over his right brow. It certainly wasn’t the first time someone had made an assumption like that, but it never failed to bother him. “Yeah, uh… those are just from an old accident,” he said. “Trust me, I’m definitely not cut out for the Royal Guard or anything.”
“No kidding,” Sans said, snorting. “Can you even imagine? You’d probably get slaughtered on your first day.”
“Heh, yeah, probably.” He actually found the idea pretty unsettling, but he wouldn’t say anything with an actual guard around.
Artan shrugged. “Well, I guess you’d know better than me.”
***
The rest of the trip was quiet. When words were exchanged, they were usually just one or two-word sentences. Evidently the awkward conversation earlier had set the mood for everyone.
Artan led them onto a couple elevators and through several winding, gray hallways. Soon, the group entered a new hallway that was vastly different from the others. Polished tiles covered the floor, and one wall was covered in detailed murals outlining the history of monsterkind. On the opposite wall were several stained-glass windows. Yellow light filtered through them, casting the hall in a warm glow.
Sans whistled. “Impressive. This must be an important hall.”
“We’re close to the throne room,” Artan explained. “And just beyond that is the Barrier.” He didn’t seem as awed by the corridor as the three visitors. Gaster figured he’d seen it dozens of times before.
Another gray passageway greeted them when they exited the hall, which then led to the throne room. It was even brighter than the golden hallway. King Asgore’s throne sat in the center, surrounded by small yellow flowers. Gaster looked at the flowers at his feet, getting a sinking feeling in his soul. He knew they had come from the surface. That fact might have been exciting in any other context, but every monster in the Underground knew why they were growing here.
The guard led them down a passageway that led to where the Barrier was. At first it steadily got darker, but at some point their surroundings grew lighter again. Gaster’s eyes widened as they entered the Barrier room. It took up a large portion of the back wall, pulsing with white light. The whole area was filled with a strong and alien energy that could only be human magic.
“Feels weird, right?” the guard asked. He stayed near the doorway as the other three walked closer to the Barrier. “There aren’t many things I’m afraid of, but this place kinda gives me the creeps.”
Reading about the Barrier’s effects was one thing, but actually feeling it was entirely different; being this close to such a powerful magical force was indeed a little unsettling. Gaster felt it permeate through his bones, stronger than he could ever hope his own magic could be. It was unlike anything he’d experienced before.
He pushed his discomfort to the back of his mind. Pleasant or not, they had work to do. “Well, we might as well get started,” he said. Kneeling down, he opened his case and looked over the various science instruments, trying to decide which one to set up first.
“And I’ll boot up the laptop,” Alphys offered, taking off her backpack and unzipping it. In almost a whisper she added, “The sooner we start, the sooner we can leave.” Gaster was a little surprised that Alphys wasn’t more enthusiastic - she was usually excited about anything related to humans. She must’ve found the Barrier’s magic particularly uncomfortable.
As they all busied themselves with their setup, Artan stood by the door in silence. After a moment, he took a few more steps into the room. “Do the three of you need anything else? Cuz if you don’t, then I’ll just… leave…” He jerked his thumb at the door awkwardly.
Gaster looked up from the device he was holding. “I think we’re fine. After we take our measurements, we’re heading back to the lab right away.”
“Alright, well, if you do need something there’s, you know… plenty of guards in this place to ask.”
Gaster nodded in acknowledgement. The guard turned back to the entrance and left them to work. Once his footsteps faded away, Alphys looked up from her keyboard. “Huh, he sounded uncomfortable,” she observed.
“No kidding,” Gaster said. “Can’t blame him – the Barrier can do weird things to monsters.”
Alphys snapped her head up in alarm. “What?? L-like what?? Why didn’t you say anything to us??”
Gaster took his eyes off his hands to look over at her. “Did you not read the documents I gave you? Both of you?” During his informal research on the Barrier, he’d been giving anything particularly important to Sans and Alphys. He'd hoped that it would help them all be well-prepared for the excursion, but apparently all of that effort might have gone to waste. He glanced at Sans as well, giving him a questioning look.
“Eh, I read a couple of ‘em,” Sans said, unconcerned. “Don’t remember any warnings about the Barrier.”
“I skimmed most of them, but… i-it’s not anything bad, is it?” Alphys stammered.
“No, no, we’ll be fine,” Gaster reassured her. “It’s just that there’s a lot of powerful and concentrated magic here, and not everyone can handle it. A lot of monsters have reported feeling… uneasy around the Barrier.” He set down the instrument he’d been holding and started looking over another. “The other effects include things like headaches, anxiety, nausea… nothing serious or long-lasting.”
“Well, that’s good to know,” Sans said with mild interest. He’d conjured up a bone and was moving it around aimlessly with his magic.
“Hey, cut that out!” Gaster snatched it out of the air. “The Barrier is really sensitive to any contact with other magic – which you’d know if you’d read anything.” He dropped the bone to the ground, where it disintegrated on impact. “If we hit it with our magic, it’ll react and affect all our work. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not have to go back to the lab without any usable data.”
“Alright, alright, I gotcha,” Sans said. “Geez, you’re such a hardass sometimes.”
“Only when it really matters. What we’re doing today is important.”
Sans still seemed as aloof as ever. “Okay, so… what exactly is all this for? I know the data goes to the Royal Scientist and their team, but what do they do with it?”
Gaster thought back to all the material he’d read about the Barrier study. “I’m… not sure what exactly they look for. I just know the observations started decades ago with one of the previous Royal Scientists. Obviously, the hope is that we can use the information to somehow bring down the Barrier.”
“Why even bother? The easiest thing to do would be to just wait ‘til one more unlucky kid falls down here. Doesn’t take a bunch of engineers to realize that.”
Gaster wished the other skeleton would take this a little more seriously. “Because,” he began, “For one thing, the study began a long time ago when we had fewer human souls. For another, there’s no way to be sure when another human will even come down here. It’s already been… what, 40 or 50 years since the last one?” Gaster looked at the Barrier. “If the human kids living near Mt. Ebott have finally learned and started avoiding it, who knows how long we have to wait. We might as well be proactive about it.”
“Yeah, I guess. Still, there’s always gonna be kids who ignore warnings and do stupid things. Like climb up a cursed mountain.”
Sans wasn’t entirely wrong. Still, it sounded better to try and do something in the meantime rather than sit around waiting – hoping - for the next human to fall down. If scrutinizing the Barrier could lead to their freedom sooner, that’s what Gaster would do.
“Well, either way we still have to do what we were, ahem, ‘assigned,’” Alphys said, with a glance at Gaster. “Where should we start?”
“Probably should start with overall magic levels,” Sans suggested. “We can work on the more complex stuff later.”
Gaster nodded. “Sounds fine to me.” He looked over the open carrying cases, grabbing the correct instrument for reading magic levels. He turned it on and fiddled with some of the settings.
Alphys looked back to her laptop, while Gaster and Sans went over to their other equipment. Gaster immersed himself in his work, calibrating the instruments and discussing the setup with the other two monsters. It actually wasn’t very complicated, but he figured it was best to be extra meticulous considering who the data would be going to.
“HEY!” an unfamiliar voice suddenly shouted, catching him completely off-guard. Looking up, he saw a blue fish-monster standing in the doorway. She held a spear of cyan magic and gave them a piercing look. “What’re you three doing here??” she demanded, glowering at each of the three monsters.
None of them spoke.
She jabbed her spear in their direction threateningly. “Well? Is anyone gonna say something? Or do I have to force you to talk?”
“Wow, okay, take it easy!” Gaster held up his hands . “Why do you need to know? Who even are you?”
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“I’m Undyne, and I’m part of the king’s Royal Guard.” Her eyes narrowed. “Now who the hell are you punks?”
“We’re scientists, we’re just here to research the Barrier,” Gaster explained. “All we’re doing is taking some measurements. The head guard even has an official letter that says what we’re doing, go ask him about it.”
“And leave you three all alone again? Yeah, right.” Undyne looked the three monsters up and down. “Why should I even believe you guys are scientists? You don’t have lab coats or anything.”
Sans cocked a brow. “We, uh, don’t really wear lab coats outside the lab. This is fieldwork.”
“Why should we believe you’re a guard? You definitely don’t look like one,” Gaster argued, pointing at her tank top and pants.
“Well, technically I’m off-duty today. But justice never rests! And I’m not gonna just stand by when something looks funny to me!” Undyne tightened the grip on her spear, making sparks of energy fly off. “I’m one of King Asgore’s students, so if you were supposed to be here, he would have told me about it.”
“M-maybe he just forgot to tell you?” Alphys offered. “I mean, he m-must be pretty busy-“
“Asgore wouldn’t forget to tell me anything!” Undyne snapped. “Now, you all need to come with me or else you’ll be in big trouble.”
Gaster frowned. He had a hard time believing this monster was a guard, let alone a student of Asgore’s. "Alright, this is ridiculous,” he said. “I’m going to go find a real guard to deal with you.” He was only able to take a few steps before several blue spears erupted in front of him. He stumbled backwards, nearly falling to the floor.
“I didn’t say you could move!” Undyne barked. “You aren’t going anywhere!”
Gaster’s soul pounded as he looked up from the spears that had almost impaled him. “Can you stop with the arrows already??” he asked indignantly.
“Not until you start listening to me!”
Gaster’s patience was wearing thin. “You aren’t listening to us! I’m trying to tell you what we’re doing here! We’re not up to anything!”
“I’m not taking that chance!” Undyne hurled her spear at the other three monsters. They ducked, letting the attack sail right over their heads. Instead, it collided with the Barrier at the back of the cavern. Waves of cyan magic rippled through it as it absorbed the spear’s energy.
Gaster, Alphys and Sans could only stare helplessly. They hadn’t even gotten a single measurement, and now anything they did take would be unusable. The fish-monster had ruined their entire trip.
“Consider that a warning shot,” she said. “I don’t usually give those, so be thankful for that.”
Gaster turned back to the fish-monster, pointing at the Barrier. “Thankful? Do you have any idea what you just did?! Your magic affected the whole Barrier! Now we can’t even do what we came here for!”
“Then I’ve done my job. Now, if you still don’t come with me, I’ll-“
There was a loud ‘PING!’. Undyne’s soul lit up with blue light, and she was jerked a few feet in the air. She flailed her limbs as her remaining arrows dissipated. Below her, Sans kept firm control over her soul through her struggling.
“HEY! WHAT THE HELL??” she snarled down at him.
“Hey, don’t take it personally. I think your desire to protect the kingdom is uplifting, but you’re being kind of a problem right now.” He turned to Alphys. “I can hold her while you and G go find an actual guard to help us with this.” The fish-monster kept thrashing and twisting her body, trying in vain to break free of the blue magic. “… Just, uh, try to be quick about it.”
Alphys scurried to Gaster's side and they began hurrying towards the exit. She looked up at him once they were out of earshot. “A-are you okay??” she fretted. “You could’ve been killed!”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he told her. He was still rattled, but at least he was in one piece. “We really need to find someone before-“
They heard a loud bellow behind them. Gaster looked back right as Undyne threw a spear down at Sans. Startled, he jumped sideways out of its direct path, but it still managed to graze his arm. He yelled out in pain, and Undyne fell to the ground as he lost his hold on her soul.
“SANS!” Gaster and Alphys both exclaimed, running back over to his side. Undyne took the opportunity to scramble back to her feet as they tended to their friend.
“Maybe now you’ll follow my orders,” she growled, conjuring up another spear. “I’m not in the mood for games.”
Gaster bristled, whipping around to face her. “What the fuck is your problem?!” he shouted, gesturing at the other skeleton. “Sans wasn’t even attacking you! You had no reason to do that!”
Undyne clutched her spear with both hands, adopting a battle stance. “Threatening a guard is a serious offense!” she retorted. “And using soul magic counts! You’re all gonna be in deep shit when I’m done with you!”
As they both glared at each other, something inside Gaster finally snapped. He’d had more than enough of this monster, and he wasn’t going to keep waiting around for someone else to come and help. “Alright, that is it.” He stepped towards her. “You threatened us, you ruined our work, and now you’re attacking us! I am done with you!”
Before Undyne could make another move, he gathered up his own magic and started summoning an attack. Two large, beastly skulls quickly materialized on either side of him. They didn’t look like the skull of any existing creature - their bottom jaws were split down the middle and filled with long teeth, and they were adorned with small spikes. White rings of light glowed from their orbits, eyeing their target. Undyne gaped in disbelief.
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Gaster stared her down, eye sockets completely black. “Now,” he said icily. “Are you going to cut it out, or do you want to try attacking us again? Because if you do…”
The skulls opened their jaws, magic gathering in their mouths.
“…You are REALLY not going to like what happens next.”
Undyne didn't say anything. She obviously had fighting experience, but by the look on her face, she’d never encountered magic like this. Gaster hoped it would be intimidating enough to make her stop assailing them.
After a moment, she snapped out of her stupor, her face hardening with resolve. “I am not backing down,” she said, looking Gaster in the eye. “I’m staying right here.”
He hadn’t been expecting that response. He’d been certain she would give up or run - everyone else did when they first saw his Blasters. It hadn’t even crossed his mind to make a Plan B.
Shit. Shit shit shit, this was a stupid idea! What had he been thinking? What was he supposed to do now?? He felt his control on the Blasters slipping, riling them up even more. He refocused, reining them back in before they could fire at the fish-monster. Somehow, he managed to keep his outward expression from reflecting his inner state. The best he could do was stall until he either thought of something else or someone finally showed up. “…Well, I’m not backing down either,” he finally said. “Not until you agree to quit it.”
“Well, there’s no way in hell I’m doing that!”
“Then I guess we’ve reached a stalemate.”
There was a pause. Gaster wondered if she was reconsidering what she was doing. Suddenly, Undyne jumped aside in an attempt to surprise him. Just as quickly, one of the magical skulls fired off a small blast of magic that hit a couple feet in front of her. Not close or powerful enough to hurt her, but enough to stop her in her tracks.
She glared again at the skeleton, and he returned the look. “Consider that a warning shot,” he said. She growled in frustration.
Gaster wasn’t entirely sure how much of that last shot was him and how much was the Blaster’s doing. His panic grew. What was he supposed to do if she did that again? He didn’t actually want to hurt her. He didn’t want any of this. He prayed that things wouldn’t escalate further.
They continued their staredown. Nobody moved or said a word. Gaster occasionally heard shuffling noises from the two monsters behind him, but it was otherwise quiet. After a few long minutes, Gaster broke the silence. “Alphys, how’s Sans doing?” he asked, without turning back to look at her. He didn’t dare take his eyes off of Undyne.
“Uh, he’s… alright, I think. I-it’s not too bad,” the lizard monster replied.
“’M okay,” Sans groaned unconvincingly.
“See? Your friend is fine,” Undyne said. “So how about you put your freaky skull things away and-“
“Yeah, I don’t think so.” The blasters opened their jaws a bit more. His desire to protect his friends outweighed his reluctance to use his attack. He wasn’t going to give her any leeway.
She scowled, tightening the grip on her spear. “You can’t keep this up forever. You’ll exhaust your magic sooner or later.”
“I don’t need to last forever - I just need to outlast you. Unless you just want to give up right now?”  Gaster knew there was no way he had more stamina than her, but she didn’t know that. As long as he acted confident, she might actually believe him.
She didn’t seem to be fazed. “No way am I going to submit to some punk bag of bones like you. I’m not afraid of you or your weird attack!” One of the Blasters snapped at her; Undyne instinctively took half a step back.
“If you say so,” Gaster replied, shrugging. He couldn’t help but smirk a little.
Undyne glared harder at him. “God, you are such an asshole.”
He scoffed. “I’m an asshole? You attacked us first! You’re the one who’s playing vigilante here!”
“I’m not a vigilante! I told you I’m a Royal Guard!”
“A real Royal Guard would be protecting citizens, not terrorizing them!”
“Terrorizing??” Undyne snarled. “You have a LOT of nerve accusing me-“
“What on Earth is going on over here?” a low voice interrupted from the hallway. Gaster watched as King Asgore himself stepped into the room, ducking his head to avoid hitting the top of the door. His eyes widened when he saw the scene before him. “Oh, my.”
“Y-your majesty!” Gaster stammered, his concentration breaking. The Blasters grumbled a little before dissipating in a cloud of purple magic. The skeleton had never felt more relieved. “Thank god you’re here!” He pointed at Undyne. “I don’t know who this thug thinks she is, but-“
“These three punks are here without permission!” Undyne interjected. “The short guy used magic on me, and then beanpole here threatened me with his crazy skull creatures-“
“You attacked us! You hit Sans with your spear!”
“You guys weren’t LISTENING to me-“
“Alright, alright, everyone settle down!” Asgore held up a large hand to silence both of them. He walked over to Undyne. “Is this why I didn’t find you in the garden for your training session?”
Gaster froze. Training session?
“Well, yeah!” she replied. “I had to keep an eye on them! I didn’t know whether they were supposed to be here or not!”
Gaster’s relief at the king’s arrival quickly turned to dread. Undyne really was one of Asgore's students. If that was the case, there was no way he’d be getting out of this situation unscathed.
Asgore looked over at the three scientists. “And what are you doing here, exactly?”
Gaster started as the king addressed them. “Oh, uh, we were just… collecting data on the Barrier - I mean, at least we were going to. But then this fish-monster came in and interrupted us.”
“Oh, yes. You must be the ones from the Barrier study.”
“Wait, what??” Undyne asked incredulously. “You knew they were coming? Why didn’t I hear about this??”
“I must have forgotten to mention it,” Asgore said. “…Even so, you are not on duty today. All you came here for was to meet with me, not take care of suspected criminals. You should have brought it up to another guard, at the very least.” He glanced back at the doorway. “And I would have expected you to stay within the throne room while these three were working.”
Undyne opened her mouth to protest, but closed it again without a word. Asgore turned back to the scientists. “Now, what happened that led to the, ah… confrontation that I saw?” he asked, looking at Gaster again.
“Uh…” He grew cold. How could he ever explain pulling his attack out on one of the king’s students? “I… uh, I-I mean, we - we were just… Undyne was going to - I mean, I-I would never actually-“
“Gaster only used his attack after she hit me,” Sans interjected.
Both monsters looked over at the skeleton. “We were just setting up when she kinda… barged in here and demanded we come with her. We all tried to explain ourselves but she wouldn’t listen, and she started throwin’ spears at us.” He glanced over at Undyne, who only glared back. “I tried to restrain her with my magic first, but then she got me with one of her spears. G used his magic before she could attack us again.” Alphys stayed quiet, but backed Sans up with a lot of nodding, avoiding looking directly at Asgore.
“Hey, you left out the part where your friend fired at me,” Undyne contended.
Gaster faltered. “W-well, yeah - but I missed you by like, two feet!” he countered. “You gave us a warning shot first, so I figured I’d return the favor.”
Asgore gave him a questioning look. “You fired your attack at her?”
“I… did… but that was after she tried to attack us first, and after she hurt Sans. I didn’t actually want to hurt her, but I – I didn’t know how else to get her to stop,” he answered. It was a terrible explanation, he realized. He was doomed.
“I see,” Asgore said. “You are aware that attacking a Royal Guard is punishable by law, aren’t you?”
“Of course, but…”
Once again, Sans jumped in. “With all due respect, Your Majesty, Gaster – all of us – were just trying to defend ourselves. We had no idea if she was actually a guard or just some random monster that was trying to kill us.”
Asgore’s expression became thoughtful. “Hmm… that is a fair point.” He turned to Undyne. “Did you show these three any proof you were a Royal Guard? Your badge, perhaps?”
Undyne looked away. “Well, no. I don’t have it with me.”
“Did you ask anyone else about them before you came in here?”
“Uhhhhh… no. I thought I could deal with them by myself.” Her ear-fins drooped slightly.
Asgore sighed. “Undyne, please wait for me out in the gold hall. We’ll talk more when I’m done here.”
“Yes, Asgore.” She shuffled out of the room.
Asgore watched until she was gone before turning back to the three monsters before him. He’d barely opened his mouth before Gaster decided to speak first.
“King Asgore, before you decide anything, I just want to remind you that these two didn’t do anything,” he sputtered, gesturing at his companions. “I was the one who escalated things!”
“What? No, you weren’t,” Sans interrupted. “She attacked us first, G, don’t take the fall for this.”
“I fired at her! A Royal Guard!”
“Okay, that’s enough,” Asgore said. “Let’s all calm back down.”
Gaster couldn’t relax very much, but fell quiet. He noticed Sans grimace a bit, adjusting his grip on his arm. Alphys took a step towards him. “Sans? A-are you okay?”
Sans hesitated. “Yeah, I’m alright. Just hurts a little.” Gaster couldn’t help but roll his eyes; Sans could be bleeding out on the floor and he would still insist he was fine.
Asgore looked at Sans with concern. “I suppose we should do something about your arm. I can heal it, if you’d like me to.”
“… Really?”
“Of course,” he said. “You did get injured by one of my students, after all. I think I should take partial responsibility.”
Sans looked down at his arm uncertainly. “Well, sure, if you really wanna.” He walked up to the king, carefully taking his hand off the wound. The boss monster held a large paw over it, glowing softly with green magic. After a few seconds, Sans was fully healed.
Asgore took a step back. “Is that better?”
Sans relaxed. “Yeah, a lot better. Thanks.” He rubbed the place where the injury used to be. “You, uh, really didn’t have to do that, you know.”
“Oh, it’s hardly any trouble.” Asgore was quiet for a moment, scratching his beard thoughtfully. “You know, I should’ve remembered to tell Undyne about you all coming. She may be a guard, and has lots of potential, but she’s still fairly new. She also tends to be … rash in situations like this. I can’t blame you too much for trying to defend yourselves. How about we just put this all behind us and move on?”
Gaster stared at the boss monster. “But…Undyne is a guard. And one of your students! I almost hurt her! Aren’t you mad about that?”
Asgore chuckled a little. “I certainly could be. But believe me, it would take more than one attack to take Undyne down. You didn’t even want to hurt her in the first place, right?”
Gaster could hardly process what was happening. The king was completely serious. “In any case,” the boss monster continued. “I hope she didn’t derail your work too much.”
“Well…” Gaster rubbed the back of his neck. “Actually, Undyne kind of wrecked everything. We were supposed to observe the Barrier under normal circumstances, but one of her spears ended up hitting it. It’s really sensitive to contact with magic, so… now it’s not normal. We’d have to wait until it goes back to its regular state.”
“Oh.” Asgore furrowed his brow. “And how long will that take?”
Gaster could only shrug. “A few days, at least – probably longer. It depends on how powerful her magic was.” More potent magic was known to affect the Barrier for weeks. Undyne’s spears didn’t look like a particularly strong attack individually, but there was no way of knowing exactly how powerful it was. An uncontrolled variable like that would make things much more complicated if they tried to take any measurements now.
The king sighed. “Undyne…” He rubbed the bridge of his nose. The fish-monster was definitely giving him a run for his money. “There isn’t anything you’d be able to do here?”
“’Fraid not,” Sans said. “Everything we were going to do involved the Barrier.”
“I see.” Asgore looked over at the magical construct that trapped his people underground. “I’m really sorry about this whole mess; I should have remembered to tell Undyne.” He turned back to the scientists. “So, what are you going to do now?”
Gaster shrugged again. “Well, I guess we go back to the lab and tell them that the Barrier got disrupted before we could do anything. Someone else will have to come back here later to get measurements.”
“In that case, I can have a message sent to your lab explaining what happened, if that would help. I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble for something that wasn’t your fault.”
The skeleton blinked. He looked at Sans and Alphys, who looked as surprised as he was. He hadn’t expected Asgore to let any of them off the hook, let alone get involved with their employers. “Uh, yeah, s-sure… if you really want to.”
“Well, of course. It’s the least I can do to make up for all this. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
Gaster felt guilty about how much the king was doing for them already. “No, I don’t think so,” he said. “You’ve helped a lot already.”
“Then I suppose I shouldn’t keep you any longer. I’ll leave you to pack up all your things. You all take care, now. And you two…” He looked at the skeletons. “Just be careful with your magic.”
Sans shrugged. “Personally, I don’t think you have much to worry about. But yeah, we can do that.”
Satisfied, Asgore finally left the room. After a moment of shocked silence, Alphys laughed nervously. “Well, that was… something.”
“It really was,” Gaster agreed distantly, not taking his eyes off the exit.
Sans looked at him suspiciously. “You don’t feel guilty about any of this, do you? ‘Cause you really don’t need to.”
“I… I don’t know. Maybe?” Gaster started walking back over to their equipment. “I don’t get why Asgore would do anything for us after all this.”
“I think he’s just l-like that,” Alphys said. “He likes helping where he can.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” Gaster agreed. “I guess I also feel… embarrassed, or something?” He sighed. “I should’ve controlled my emotions better. I really don’t like anyone to see that side of me.”
“Well, that side of you saved our butts today, so I’m not complainin’,” Sans said as he followed the other skeleton.
“Hey, you argued us out of getting in trouble.I would’ve been done for if you hadn’t come along.”
“Well, you also tried to take the blame for everything,” Alphys chimed in. “Which was really dumb, by the way.”
“I didn’t want anything to happen to you guys! We’re only here today because of me.”
“G.” Sans adopted a more serious tone. “Literally no one could have guessed this would happen. None of this was your fault.”
“Don’t forget that Sans used his magic, too,” Alphys pointed out. “And, uh, maybe the two of us could have done more to de-escalate things… or something.”
Sans nodded. “Either way, Undyne was the one who started it all. As far as I’m concerned, she can take most of the blame.” He put the last item into his case and closed it. “Look, let’s just get back to the lab, deal with not having any data, and forget about this whole day.”
“I’m good with that,” Alphys said.
“Fine with me.” Gaster was more than happy to leave and never have to deal with the Barrier – or Undyne – ever again.
***
None of them spoke as they left the Barrier room. Whether they got in trouble over it or not, they weren’t excited to have to go back to work with nothing, and the impending disappointment hung over them like a storm cloud. They proceeded down the hallway to the throne room, the light gradually getting stronger. The throne room greeted them with its full brightness and garden, but they didn’t stay around to appreciate their surroundings.
At this point the silence had become unbearable. “What do you think will happen to Undyne?” Alphys finally asked, stopping before they entered the next hall.
“Who knows,” Gaster said. “Asgore said she still had things to work on. If that’s true, then maybe she shouldn’t even be a guard.”
“I-I don’t know… maybe she should get a second chance. Like Asgore said, she just n-needs to work on a few things,” Alphys said.
Both Gaster and Sans stopped and looked back at her. She looked away quickly. “I-I mean, what happened wasn’t okay, but, uh, she… she has all the good qualities of a guard, too!”
Sans cocked a brow. “Alphys, she hit me. That’s kind of a big deal.”
“N-no, that wasn’t good, b-but I just…” She trailed off, blushing.
For a moment, the skeletons stared at her. Then Sans began to snicker. “Alphys, do you like her or something?” he asked.
“W-w-what?? No! Don’t be ridiculous! That’s- you don’t-“ Alphys stumbled over her words again, stepping back. “W-we don’t even know her!”
“Dang, Alphys, falling for Asgore and his apprentice. What, does she remind you of an anime warrior princess?”
“Shut up!” Alphys hissed, face reddening even more.
Gaster rolled his eyes. “Knock it off, Sans. I don’t think we’re really in the mood for this.”
The other skeleton chuckled. “Sorry, Al. It’s just… she doesn’t seem like the type you’d be into. But hey, I won’t judge.”
Alphys grumbled. “Can we just forget about it? I doubt they’d ever send us back here, s-so… it’s not like I’ll ever see her again.”
“And I, for one, am grateful for that,” Gaster muttered. The mere thought of ever having to deal with Undyne again aggravated him. They left the throne room and garden behind, stepping into the so-called Golden Hallway. Several smaller hallways branched off of it on one side. Gaster scanned the wall opposite the windows, trying to remember which passage they’d come from. His eyes drifted up to the mural painted on the wall above the pillars. He hadn’t gotten a good look on the way to the Barrier, but now he noticed some of the more grisly scenes. Among the depictions of the monsters’ achievements and portraits of notable individuals, there were many images of the war with the humans long ago – some of which were surprisingly graphic. It was a jarring contrast to the serenity of the rest of the hall.
“Um… I think we c-came from the fourth one down,” Alphys said, averting her gaze. “The one under the part of the mural with… a bunch of humans stabbing a monster.”
“Pretty gross, huh?” another voice said.
Gaster snapped his head in the direction the voice had come from. Undyne emerged from behind one of the pillars of the hall, flashing a toothy grin at the small group.
Apparently the universe just hated the skeleton today. “Shouldn’t you be with Asgore by now?” he asked her flatly.
Undyne leaned against the pillar, crossing her arms. “Normally, yeah. He said he had to send something to your bosses or whatever first and told me to keep waiting here.” She looked at the three of them in turn. “So, you guys are leaving?”
“Well, yeah,” Sans replied. “We can’t really do anything with the Barrier right now.”
Undyne grumbled in annoyance. “Look, I’m sorry, I know I fucked up. But can you really blame me for assuming you were up to something when no one ever told me about you guys?” She looked directly at Gaster. “And it’s not like you’re entirely blameless, either.”
Any lingering guilt he had been feeling instantly evaporated. “Hey, you started it!” he contended. “We tried to reason with you, and you started throwing magic attacks at us. Did you expect us to just take it?” Undyne didn’t respond, so he went on. “Clearly, you don’t have the right temperament for a Royal Guard. I’d be surprised if Asgore didn’t fire you over this.”
The fish monster snorted. “Fire me? As if. I’ve known Asgore since I was a kid. It’ll take more than one little misunderstanding to get me kicked out of the Guard.”
“Little?” Gaster echoed. “You hit Sans, you ruined our observations, everyone at work will be pissed at us because we have no data… ‘little’ is an understatement!”
“Okay, fine, it wasn’t just a little misunderstanding. I said I was sorry, what more do you want from me?”
“You could leave us alone, for starters. The king can take care of the rest.”
Gaster felt a nudge and noticed Sans was now standing next to him. “G, come on, let’s just go. It’s not worth dealing with her.”
Gaster gave Undyne one last look before taking a deep breath. “Yeah, you’re right.” He turned back to the passage that they’d been heading to. “Well, if you’re done with your half-assed apology, we’ll be going on our way.”
“Woah, hey, not so fast!” Undyne rushed forward, stopping right in front of him. “Okay, look, we got off on the wrong foot there. I was actually thinking maybe we could… talk a little?”
Gaster glared down at her. “Forget it. I think you’ve interacted with us enough for-“
“I don’t wanna talk with all you punks,” Undyne interrupted. “Just you, tall guy.”
He raised a brow. “You can’t be serious.”
“Look, just hear me out,” said the fish-monster. “If you don’t like what I say, then you and your pals can leave and I’ll never bother you again, I swear.”
Gaster peered back at the other two monsters. Sans shrugged hesitantly and Alphys looked away, but neither objected to letting him and Undyne talk. The skeleton turned back to her. “Fine. Tell me what you want to – but make it quick.” He set down his case of equipment and folded his arms.
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Undyne grinned in satisfaction. Gaster was unsettled; less than an hour ago she'd been ready to kill them all, but now she was eager to make small talk with him. He was starting to question her sanity.
“Okay, so… you’ve got a pretty powerful special attack, huh?”
Gaster blinked. Of all the topics she might have wanted to discuss, he hadn’t expected her to ask about his magic. “I... suppose?” he answered.
“How powerful are those skull things, exactly?”
Gaster already didn’t like where this conversation was going. “I don’t really know, honestly. I’ve never tested them or anything. All I know is that whatever I’ve used them on has gotten really damaged or destroyed.”
Undyne nodded. “Interesting. And what kind of things have you used them on?”
The skeleton tried to remember everything he’d fired his Blasters at. “Things at the dump, boulders, tree stumps… textbooks that your college won’t buy back… that kind of stuff. Nothing important.”
“But have you like, used them on another monster? I know you gave me a warning shot back there, but-”
“What? No, of course not! I wouldn’t want to actually hurt someone with them! Did you not hear me say that to the king?”
“Hey, chill, it was just a question.”
Gaster narrowed his eyes. Was she really interested in his magic, or was she just trying to get a rise out of him? “What exactly are you getting at? I told you to make this quick, so cut to the chase already.”
Undyne grumbled. “Alright, fine.” She paused to think about what to say next. “Uh, okay, I bet this’ll sound crazy, but… have you ever thought about joining the Royal Guard?”
He stiffened. “Joining the Royal Guard?"
“Well, yeah, why not?” Undyne gave him another toothy smile. “You’ve got a hell of an attack, and I’m sure you’re a little tougher than you look. Plus, it looks like you’ve seen your fair share of scuffles, right?”
Gaster looked away sheepishly. Everyone seemed to be interested in the fractures today. “Uh, not exactly. The cracks are just from a stupid accident.”
“Oh,” Undyne said, slightly less enthusiastic. “Well still, you haven’t ever thought about becoming a Royal Guard?”
“Not really, no.”
“Come on, I’m sure you’d be fine! You might even be really good at it.”
“No.” Gaster tried stepping around her, but she blocked him.
“Can’t you at least think it over for a bit?”
He scowled. “What part of ‘no’ don’t you understand? I’m not joining the Royal Guard.”
“Why the hell not?” Undyne demanded. “You want to waste all that potential just to do a bunch of nerd stuff? You’d be a huge asset against a human! Don’t you care about the rest of monsterkind??”
“Of course I do! But I don’t want to do this!” Gaster shot back, gesturing at the violent art above them. “Didn’t you say you would leave me alone if I didn’t like what you said? Because I really don’t.”
“Well, I didn’t actually expect you to refuse an invitation to the Royal Guard,” Undyne spat. “It’s not just about you, this involves every monster that’s trapped down here. Think about everyone else!”
“What I do with my life is none of your business! I worked hard to get where I am, and I’m not throwing it all away to work with some brute like you.” He tried to step around the fish monster a second time, but she blocked his path again.
“If you would just listen-“
“No, I’m done listening to you! So back off!” The skeleton finally managed to outmaneuver Undyne, storming off in the direction he and his companions had been headed. Sans and Alphys followed after him, leaving Undyne behind in the hall.
***
In the castle’s gray passages, Gaster stewed in his own thoughts. He should’ve known better than to let Undyne talk to him after seeing his attack. Of course the only thing she cared about was how strong his magic was. Of course she didn’t care what he’d already chosen to do with his life. Of course she would try to get him to join the Royal Guard. And of course she’d say he was selfish when he refused.
He’d heard it all before. Several times.
“G, wait up!” Sans called from behind him, pulling him out of his thoughts. Gaster slowed down. Part of him wanted to stay far ahead of them to process his emotions alone, but leaving Sans and Alphys behind would make it harder for any of them to find their way back. He decided to stop, but barely acknowledged his friends once they reached him.
Alphys looked up at the skeleton. “Gaster, um… a-are you okay?” she asked.
Gaster huffed. “No, not really.” He started walking again.
“Geez, she sure pissed you off back there,” Sans remarked.
“It isn’t just her. It’s…” Gaster hesitated. “Never mind. It’s nothing.”
“Sure doesn’t seem like it.”
“It’s lame, old family drama. I’m sure you don’t want to hear about it.” Usually he’d tell his friends at least a little about something that was bothering him, but talking about his family was particularly uncomfortable. As far as he remembered, he’d never talked to Sans or Alphys about them.
“Family drama?” Sans repeated. “Like, your mom and sister?”
“Oh, god, no. It’s on my dad’s side of the family.”
Alphys’s eyes widened. “Your dad’s side? I’ve never heard you mention anyone else in your family.”
“Yeah. It’s not exactly my favorite subject,” Gaster admitted. “I probably shouldn’t be letting it get to me this much.” He hadn’t even seen his relatives in a long time. Surely nothing they’d ever said should still bother him at this point in his life.
Alphys looked up at him with concern. “Would, um, talking more about it help?”
He slowed down a little. “I’m not sure. I’ve never told you guys anything about this, so...”
“I-I mean, you don’t have to,” Alphys added. “But we’d both listen. Right, Sans?”
“Sure,” he replied. “Listening is pretty easy.”
Gaster mulled it over. “… Alright, I could tell you a little bit. Just don’t judge me or anything, okay?”
“What, didja murder someone?” Sans quipped. “Cuz I might have some problems with that.”
Gaster laughed a little, despite himself. “No, it’s not quite that bad.” He walked over to a nearby wall and leaned back against it. “Well, to make a long story short, when I was growing up I had a lot of family members telling me to join the Royal Guard because of my special attack. No matter how many times I said no, someone would always bring it back up. It was a big deal for most of them.”
“Why’s that?” Sans set his case down on its edge and sat on it, careful not to tip it over.
“That would be the long version,” Gaster replied. “There’s a lot to it.”
“Like…?” Alphys prompted.
Did they really want to know more? Gaster worried about what they might think if he gave them all the details. Then again, these two were far different from anyone in his family. It wasn't likely that his friends would have the same mindset as they did.
He took a deep breath before starting. “For starters, having Blasters is something that runs in my dad’s side of the family. They’ve always been a source of family pride. It’s pretty rare, but once in a while someone ends up with them.”
“When I was little I would hear stories from my relatives about monsters who had the Gaster Blasters. Almost everyone who got them ended up in the Royal Guard or something similar. Back then, I loved hearing about them, and before my magic developed I wanted so badly to end up with the Blasters, too.  When I passed the age most monster kids started using magic and still wasn’t able to do anything, I wanted them even more.”
“And then finally-“- Gaster threw his hands in the air - “The day came when I could use magic, and the first thing I conjure up is a pair of Blasters. Both my dad and I were pretty excited about it, but right after I told him, he sat me down and gave me a serious talk about how dangerous they could be. He told me that I had to be careful with them so I wouldn’t accidentally hurt someone. They have a mind of their own sometimes, so if you don’t know how to control them…”
He decided not to finish that thought. “And that’s when I realized what having the Blasters really meant. They weren’t just a cool magic attack anymore. They were weapons.” Gaster shifted uncomfortably. “The thought of actually having to hurt or even kill someone made me feel sick. If I went into anything like law enforcement or the Royal Guard, I knew I’d probably have to do that at some point, and that really upset me. One day I finally asked my dad if I would have to be in the Guard someday just because of my magic, and he said it was up to me. I could do whatever I wanted to, whether it involved the Blasters or not. And I was pretty happy with that.”
“But the rest of the family wasn’t too thrilled that I didn’t want to be a guard. They tried to bring it up all the time, but Dad would just shoot them down. I didn’t have to hear much about it for a long time.” Gaster sighed. “But after he died, pretty much all courtesy on the subject got thrown out the window. My mom and sister were still supportive of me, of course, but my relatives weren’t afraid to share their thoughts.”
His voice grew bitter. “Every time we had a gathering with them, at least one person would mention it. ‘Hey W.D., have you thought any more about enlisting into the King’s forces?’ ‘Come on, you’d do great in the Royal Guard!’ ‘How could you just waste a gift like that? Stop being selfish and think about the rest of monsterkind!’” He shook his head. “When I decided I wanted to go into the sciences, they became even more determined to change my mind. But I managed to hold my ground. After my dad first talked to me about the Blasters, I promised myself that I’d never use my attack on anybody – and I wanted to keep it that way.”
“But… what about today?” Alphys asked cautiously.
“Pfft, threatening someone with the Blasters is different than actually using them. I’ve summoned them a few times when going through the sketchy parts of the city and such. Just seeing them is enough to scare any troublemakers off.” For a second, he actually did feel proud to have them. “I was sure Undyne would do the same. Then when she didn’t, I kind of… panicked. It had never even crossed my mind to make a backup plan.” He looked away, embarrassed. He should have known better than to assume that someone who’d had fighting experience would turn tail and run.
“Look, the Blasters are a strong attack even without training. I don’t know how much damage mine could do to someone in one blast, but I know they have the potential to dust all kinds of monsters in one shot.” He looked at the floor. “If I wanted to, I could kill almost any monster in the Underground. Maybe even a human, if I really dedicated myself. It’s… kind of horrifying, honestly. I don’t like to think about it.”
An uncomfortable silence fell over the three of them. Gaster wondered if he’d given them too much information at once - or worse, that they felt the same way his relatives did.
Sans finally spoke up. “Geez, that’s some heavy stuff. I can see why Undyne aggravated you so much.”
Gaster released some of the tension he hadn’t even realized he was holding. “Yeah, everything she said was what everyone else told me about a hundred times. It brought up a lot of bad memories.”
“I bet,” Alphys said. “They all sound like a bunch of… well, jerks.”
“Well, some of them weren’t that bad about it.” Gaster shrugged. “But I hardly see them anymore, so if anyone still has a problem with it, at least I don’t have to hear their whining.”
He realized he did feel a little better now that he’d talked about his thoughts. It was even more reassuring knowing his friends were on his side. With a stretch, he stepped away from the wall. “Welp, I hope you guys enjoyed my tragic backstory.”
Alphys snorted. “Oh yeah, I loved it. Now we all know about each other’s tortured pasts, right?”
“Hey, we’re all still young. There’s still plenty of time for tragedy,” Sans said as he got up from his makeshift seat.
Gaster chuckled. “Wow, okay. That’s pretty dark.”
“What, I’m not allowed to do dark humor?”
“No, it’s just… weird, coming from you.”
“Hey, I’m more than just puns, you know.”
“Ah, of course. I just forgot in the deluge of wordplay you flood me and Alphys with every day.”
Somewhere in the city, a clock started chiming the hour. Alphys looked at her phone to confirm the time. “Oh geez, have we been standing here long? We need to get going again!”
“Alph, it’s only been like, 5 minutes.” Sans patted her shoulder. “We’re fine.”
“We should get moving again, though,” Gaster said. “If we take too long, someone might suspect we’re avoiding work altogether.” He grabbed the case sitting beside him.
They finally resumed walking, managing to remember the way they came in among the numerous passages of the castle. As they traveled, Sans slid over next to Alphys. “So,” he began. “About that fish-girl we just met – I bet you think she’d be a reel catch, huh?”
Alphys blushed. “Sans, I swear to god-“
“Hey, no need to be bassful about your new crush. Or are you still more interested in Asgore?”
Alphys got even redder, but the skeleton didn’t relent. “I think you have a chance with him, too. But first you goat to get his attention, be-fur someone else does.”
“Ugghhh!” Alphys shoved him away, making him snicker. “Gaster, can you get him to stop??”
Gaster smirked. “No, you kids need to settle this by yourselves.”
“Not you, too!”
He looked back at her quizzically. “What do you mean? I didn’t- ...oh, god.” He smacked his forehead. Kids. “Sans, stop corrupting me.”
“Whale, if you don’t like goat puns, I can go back to fish.” Sans caught up to Gaster. “My goat puns are kind of crappie anyways. So hey, any ideas on how Alphys can fin over Asgore or fish-girl? It’s fine if you need to mullet over for a bit. Personally, I think she should be honest about her eelings, but I trout she’d want to be that up front about it-“
“Sans,” Gaster said.
“Yeah?”
“Will you please shut up?”
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