#how do you go all your life as an native english speaker and don't know what an anti-hero is

[missbrunettebarbie]

There's something very surreal about seeing people -well-off, mid-twenties or older people- say with confidence that they don't know what Pandora's Box is, that Jane Austen has a book called Emma or what an anti-hero or a vigialnte is. And like, not just say it in a private conversation, but in videos they willingly post on youtube. These for me seem like facts anyone with an average general culture level should know, but apparently not.

[ozai-the-bonsai]

Like Lovers Do

| Part 1 | Part 2 |

Pairing: Daemon Targaryen x fem!reader

Summary: You and Daemon would dream about marrying each other before both of you became victims of political marriages, very much against your wills: he was sent to the Vale and you to the Riverlands. However, when your lord husband passes away, you return to King’s Landing, only to find out that your childhood sweetheart is now wearing a crown of his own.

A/N: Once again, I wrote too much - this is a long chapter (4.3k)! And full of smut and hot daddy Daemon... And thus concludes this mini-story (which was supposed to be a one-shot but anyways)... Hope you enjoy it! Again, you can always send me Daemon x reader requests!

Warnings: I am not a native English speaker, strong language, smut, strong smut (basically the whole chapter is a big bad smut)

Taglist: @throughgoeshamilton @mirandastuckinthe80s @xicesam @mariamyousef702 @eddiemadmunson @dont-try-pesticide @sweetybuzz25 @hc-geralt-23 @schniiipsel @ttae-yong @syrma-sensei @asiludida164 @kaitieskidmore1 @irmavanity-blog @pax-2735 @trickrtreatart @shanzeyxsyed @random-human02 @scarwicht @xcallmetaniax @instabull @niiight-dreamerrrr @my-dark-prince @stargaryenx @abaker74 @babywolff @sonnensplitter @bi-narystars @softtina @sadmonke @avalyaaa

Your feelings about dining with Daemon were complicated.

On the one side, your heart yearned to spend time with him, rekindle the bond you once shared with him and perhaps find solace in his embrace once again. However, the other part of you seethed with anger, unwilling to forgive him for disappearing from your life.

Oh, and not to mention that he was still married to Lady Rhea Royce, even though one could scarcely call it a marriage.

"I shall regret this night," you muttered to yourself as your handmaid (you had offered to bring her to King's Landing with you when you left the Riverlands) assisted you in getting ready for the evening.

In these thirty years of life, regrets have been my constant companions; what is one more to add to the tally?

"The Prince has undoubtedly ensured a feast fit for royalty, my Lady," Elyse told you while fastening the laces of your crimson dress, fashioned from the finest sateen.

You chuckled softly at the fact of how naive she was. "Oh, sweet Elyse, the dinner itself is the least of my worries." You spoke with a soft voice, only to earn a confused look from Elyse. "Don't you remember when I told you that the Prince and I go way back?"

"Oh, right - you grew up together, didn't you?" She asked, earning a nod from you. After finishing adjusting your dress, Elyse stepped away, taking a good look at you. "You are going to sweep the Prince off of his feet with your beauty, my Lady."

A soft smile formed on your lips. "You have done a wonderful job, Elyse, as always." You told her, causing Elyse's blue eyes to shine. "You may take your leave for today, darling - the hour will probably be quite late when I retire tonight."

After Elyse left you alone in your chambers, you took a deep breath and stood in front of the mirror for a while, lost in that vast ocean of thoughts circling your mind like crazy. You realised that you were scared to get the answers to those questions that had plagued your nights ever since you had left King's Landing.

Nevertheless, you deserved to know why - why he hadn't done anything to fight for you and why he had simply disappeared into the ghosts of your past.

Slowly, your feet took you to Prince Daemon's chambers. The corridors of the Red Keep were cold, the wind inside was giving you goosebumps. The white-cloak keeping watch in front of Daemon's chambers nodded at you upon seeing you and slightly opened the door to inform Daemon about your presence. A few seconds later, you were standing inside, your back facing the closed doors, a large dining table in front of you.

Daemon stood up from his seat and walked towards you, he was all in black except for the red linings on the sleeves of his black tunic. You couldn't help yourself but admire how unearthly he looked - the contrast between his silver hair, pale skin and black clothing added another layer of charm to his beauty.

He was ageing like Dornish wine.

For the third time that same day, the Prince brought your hand to his lips. "You are a feast for the eyes, my Lady."

You felt heat rushing to your face. Truth be told, you couldn't recall the last time you were showered with this many compliments in mere hours. "You flatter me, my Prince."

Daemon pointed at the table with his head. "Shall we?" He asked, earning a nod from you. You sat at the opposite ends of the giant table, which was adorned with all kinds of food: from roast duck to lemon cakes and the finest of wines...

"You remembered," you said, you didn't expect Daemon to remember how much you loved the taste of roast duck.

The Prince chuckled softly as he slowly filled his plate. "It pains me to hear your disbelief in me, love."

You raised a challenging eyebrow at him while you reached for the wine. "Forgive me for not expecting you to remember small details about me, my Prince," you spoke with a sarcastic tone, "I believed you had forgotten that I existed."

Daemon licked his lower lip, you could see that he kind of enjoyed you biting him back at every chance you got; however, you knew very well that you had to thread carefully with his patience. "You would be surprised at how much I still remember, love," Daemon spoke with a deep voice before taking a sip from his wine. "Are you planning on staying in King's Landing?"

You hated the way he changed the subject whenever he felt himself cornered.

"As long as my father holds his position as the Master of Coins, yes, I shall remain in King's Landing." You responded while taking a piece of the roast duck into your mouth. "Mmh, Daemon, this is exquisite!"

A small laughter left the Prince's lips, causing your heart to skip a beat.

"I gather roast duck is not one of the Riverlands' specialities," he muttered. "Are you planning on remarrying?" He asked, he seemed genuinely curious. Since your mouth was full, you shook your head in a short response as you swallowed your food. "A woman such as yourself does surely miss the marriage bed."

Upon hearing his last remark, you let out a loud laughter unfitting of a lady of your station; however, you didn't feel the need to force yourself to follow all those formalities when you were with Daemon - you never did.

The Prince was apparently having difficulty understanding what you found so amusing in his words.

"Miss the marriage bed?" You repeated Daemon's words. "Oh, Daemon, the day I miss my marriage bed, will be the day I ask you to burn me alive with Caraxes."

The Prince clicked his tongue. "Naive of you to think I would allow you to give voice to such absurdity, love."

Once again, you raised an eyebrow. "Absurdity, is it now?" You shook your head in disbelief as you brought your cup to your lips. "You have no idea what absurdity is, my Prince." After drinking all the remaining wine in your glass at once, you placed the cup back onto the table, your eyes finding Daemon's questioning ones. "When the lady wife of a wealthy lord becomes nothing more than a highborn whore, that is an absurdity."

"I believe your words need more elaborating, my Lady." Daemon spoke, his purple eyes moving slowly from your eyes to your lips and to your cleavage, only to return to your eyes once more. You felt warmness spreading through your body, his intense gaze was enough to make you feel dizzy.

Taking a deep breath, you fixed your gaze on the sky visible through the window, which was becoming darker by the minute. "I have told you earlier that my late husband was not able to father any children," you said, you could see from the corner of your eye that Daemon nodded at your words. "When he realised he needn't have taken me wife, he stopped seeing me except to bed me."

Slowly, you turned back to Daemon - there was something else inside his deep, purple eyes that resembled... fury?

"I became one of his whores," you spat out the words as if they were venom. "But I was the noble, wealthy, lady whore whom he could exclusively have for himself." As you spoke, the feelings of anger and disgust you had been trying so hard to suppress suddenly surfaced, making you lose control. "My only duty for the last decade was to let myself get fucked by a fat, old man over and over again! I couldn't even mother any children so that this fucked up fate of mine would be worth it all..."

You saw Daemon clenching his fists and chin in anger but you couldn't understand the subject of his fury - above all, he was the one who had done absolutely nothing to avoid both of your damned fates.

"Why, Daemon?" You asked as you pushed your seat back loudly. "Why didn't you do anything for us? Why did you leave me alone to drown in my nightmares?!"

Your voice was getting louder.

The Prince responded with an indifferent voice, absent from any kind of emotion, which only embittered you. "We were both married to different people, our destinies took us to separate places," he responded, causing your eyes to widen with shock. "It wouldn't have changed anything."

"Is this your excuse for leaving all the messages I have sent unreturned?" You asked with a disappointed tone as you started pacing up and down in his chambers. "You... You are unbelievable, Daemon!"

"Thread carefully," the Prince spoke with a warning tone.

However, at that moment, you couldn't have cared less - you wanted to trample on Daemon's damn boundaries until they were nothing but meaningless lines.

"You could have said something, done something - anything! But instead, you stood by as we were both shipped off - and to what end? You haven't spent a single night with your wife in years!" You shook your head in disbelief as you stopped walking to take a look at Daemon, who looked like an angry dragon that was about to throw fire any moment now.

"You didn't even say goodbye to me."

Then, everything happened all of a sudden.

Daemon roared in fury as he threw his plate (and multiple other plates) off the table, which ended up loudly crashing the nearby wall and falling down onto the floor, causing you to slightly jump in your place. The next thing you knew, Daemon was standing right in front of you, his right hand holding you by your chin with a firm grip, his fingers digging into the flesh of your skin.

"Because it hurt," the words left his lips silently but the power they held was immense. "I didn't bid you farewell, I didn't return to any of your ravens because thinking about you hurt me. So. Fucking. Much."

When he finally let you go, you were able to speak, though your voice sounded weak. "Then why?" you asked. "Why didn't you do anything?"

The Prince let out a scoff. "Because I am the prince, you believe I can do anything, change anything but it is not as simple as that, my Lady." As he spoke, you realised how close he was standing to you and how his figure towered over yours. You could still feel the fury circling him but he was trying to calm himself down. "There were arrangements done far beyond my reach, my station and yet you still dare blame me!"

You raised your hands in the air as you talked. "You talk as if you have tried to change the King's mind back then, my Prince." You spoke with a bitter tone, your index finger pressing against his chest as you hissed between your gritted teeth. "We both know that you did nothing of sorts - you decided it was better to bury your sorrows in some whores!"

Daemon aggressively grabbed you by your wrist, his hold was so firm it made you flinch as you felt the pain shooting through your body. "What would you have had me do?" Daemon's strong voice thundered in his chambers, causing you to flinch another time. "Take you to Dragonstone and make you my wife? Defy the King's will?"

There was a small silence for a brief moment, you could hear Daemon taking deep breaths as he waited for an answer. However, the single word leaving your lips was obviously not the answer he was waiting for.

"Yes."

It was hard to decipher the dark look in Daemon's eyes - it carried hints of anger and fury but also lust and yearning.

As the Prince slowly let your wrist go, you placed both your hands against his chest, his warm breath licking your forehead as you looked up. "Even now, I would have you take me to Dragonstone on dragonback," your voice was seductive, not caring to hide the desires spilling out with every word. "And marry me in the tradition of your House."

Daemon's breaths were getting deeper by the second, he raised his right hand to caress your face with the side of his finger as the other hand rested on your hip. "Such temptation," he spoke with a low tone while his fingers trailed down to your neck. His touch sent shivers down your spine, leaving you yearning for more. "And so eager to be mine, are you not, love?"

You wanted him to do unspeakable things to you.

At that moment, all you could think about was how it would feel to let him fuck you into oblivion - until you couldn't even remember your own name anymore.

"Please, Daemon," your voice was a mere whisper as the Prince leaned into you, his soft lips brushing your neck. "I have waited long enough."

His warm breath against the sensitive skin of your neck made you heave a sigh, which was followed by his lips leaving a small kiss. "For what?" He spoke against your neck. "Say it."

"For you to claim me as yours."

The next thing you knew - Daemon's lips rested against yours.

His lips were hungry, kissing you with so much passion as if he was trying to take away your next breath. Little did you notice that his hands were around your neck, holding your head to allow him to deepen the kiss.

You let out a small whine as Daemon slid his tongue into your mouth, claiming it as his, while pressing his body hard against yours. The heat that took over your body was insane - you felt it getting hotter and hotter with his every touch, with each brush of his lips against yours.

"Daemon," you breathed out his name when he left your lips to kiss your neck while backing you back up until your back ended up touching the cold walls.

A moan left your lips when he sucked on the skin. "Mmh?"

"You have too many layers on."

The naughty smirk he carried - you could swear it alone could make you reach your high right then and there - as he took off his cloak and his tunic was something you wanted to carve into your mind, never to forget. Before he could throw away the clothing, your hands started stroking his bare chest, moving to his well-built arms.

He looked like a Valyrian God.

"So eager, now, are you not?" Daemon spoke against your lips, his tone husky. His hands were wandering around your body, hungrily, making you almost forget how to breathe. "Let me show you how it feels to be fucked befittingly, my Lady."

His fingers quickly found their way under the skirts of your crimson dress, trailing up to the source of heat in your body. Upon feeling how wet you already were, the cocky smirk took its place on Daemon's lips.

You let out a deep breath as Daemon slid two of his fingers inside you, his other hand was holding you firmly from your waist. "I have just started touching you, and yet," the moan escaping your lips echoed in the room when Daemon curled his fingers inside you, "you are fucking wet."

Well, you were not the only person in the room literally aching to fuck - Daemon's trousers were failing to hide his hardness.

"You are one to talk, my Pri..." Before you could finish your words, Daemon found that sweet spot in you, making you cry out in bliss. When his thumb also joined his little game, circling over your clit, your only solution for silencing your cries of pleasure was placing your left hand over your mouth.

However, when Daemon suddenly stopped both stimulations, you were left confused.

Slowly, the Prince removed your hand from over your mouth. "You are not to silence anything, love." He spoke as he began to move all his fingers once again. Your hold against his arms tightened.

Biting your lower lip, you spoke with a voice that sounded no more than a soft cry. "We might get heard..."

"I do not give a fuck." Daemon responded as he brought you nearer to the edge. He breathed out your name. "You are mine, and the whole Keep shall know this."

"Fuck," you let out another moan when Daemon fastened the movement of his thumb against your clit, the heat between your legs was getting hotter with each passing moment. "Daemon, if you don't stop," you were out of breath, unable to open your eyes. "I am going to..."

Before you could reach your bliss, Daemon stopped the magic he had been carrying out with just his fingers, leaving you feeling somewhat empty. As your eyes found his darkened ones, you knew that he was about to rip your dress away from your body.

So before he could tear the exquisite fabric of your dress, you took the advantage of getting rid of his trousers, freeing his erection from the fabric. The Prince inhaled deeply when your right hand wrapped around his length, slowly moving.

"I am going to tear that dress apart," Daemon breathed out huskily as you went down onto your knees.

"Or you can simply take it off, my Prince." You whispered, seduction dripping from your words, before letting your tongue swirl around the tip of his cock.

"Bullshit," the Prince spoke but he was interrupted by a small grunt escaping his lips. "Don't tease me, love."

You clicked your tongue. "But that is where the fun lies." You responded in a naughty manner and wrapped your mouth around his cock, slowly taking him in. Daemon let out a long, low moan when you started bobbing your head.

His hands quickly got tangled in your hair, pushing his length deeper down your throat, triggering your gagging reflex. Careful not to let your teeth touch anything, you quickly pulled back, receiving a questioning look from the Prince.

"You are too big, Daemon," you said while wiping away the saliva from the edges of your mouth. "I cannot take all of you in."

Still, your hand was moving up and down his length. Slowly, you cupped his balls with your other hand, causing the Prince to gasp, his hold on your hair tightening.

"We shall work on that, love," Daemon's voice was husky when he talked, his purple eyes seemed almost black, darkened with lust. "Perhaps if I fucked your mouth every night..."

You let out a moan when the Prince lightly pulled you up from your hair, it was to signal you to stand up but your reaction to him pulling your hair only made his cock throb more.

"Interesting," Daemon whispered against your lips as his hands impatiently undid the ties of your dress, letting it fall to your feet in mere seconds. "You enjoyed that, did you not?"

His hands held you from your ass as he pulled you against his chest, you could feel his naked hardness against your lower stomach. Biting your lower lip, you nodded slowly. As a response, one of Daemon's hands moved to the back of your neck and held you tight while pulling you into a deep kiss.

Well, it was more like clashing tongues and teeth. Your hands were restlessly wandering around his god-like body, never able to get enough - each touch seemed to fuel the fire burning inside you.

A loud moan left your lips when Daemon's hand pulled from your hair, less lightly this time.

The Prince chuckled against your lips. "You are a far dirty girl than I have imagined, love." Without giving you any time to react, he held you up, your legs wrapped themselves around his waist. "That old cunt never let you explore what you like, did he?"

As Daemon let you down onto the sateen sheets of his bed, you shook your head. "I need you to show me, Daemon."

Placing a cushion under your lower back to arrange the height, Daemon licked his lower lip, he was standing at the edge of the bed. "Oh, you need not worry, my Lady," his tip was toying with your entrance, causing your breath to become deeper. "Together, we shall try even the dirtiest, sickest things known to men."

His voice, his eyes, his touch... Everything about him drove you crazy.

When Daemon gently pushed himself into you, you both let out a deep breath as he gave you some time to adjust to his size. When you nodded at him, he quickly picked up a steady pace. Still, you weren't quite sure you were getting everything out of this position. Hence, you decided to place your legs against Daemon's shoulders instead of having them wrapped around his waist.

The next time the Prince thrust into you, a loud cry of bliss left your lips without you having any control over it.

"Fuck!" You cried out as Daemon thrust deeper with a smirk on his face. "Daemon, you are so..."

"I know," he grunted the words while leaning into you. "Tonight, you shall see the stars, my Lady."

To let you try something else, the Prince picked up his right hand from the bed to wrap it around your neck. His grip was not harsh, he just applied the right amount of pressure while thrusting deep into you.

You could swear your eyes tried to roll behind your head. Several moans wanted to escape your lips but they came out muffled.

The way you reacted only made Daemon harder, as if it was even possible.

He grunted your name against your neck as he let go of you, placing the hand on your breast to toy with your nipple. "You are making me crazy," his voice was low.

"You," you were out of breath, "are sending me to another dimension, Daemon."

The Prince sucked on your neck. "I am not done with you yet."

You sent him a confused look when he abruptly stopped and pulled out of you; however, you were not expecting the Prince to literally flip you onto your stomach.

"On your knees," he commanded with a husky voice, which somehow turned you on even more as you stood on the bed on all fours. After thrusting into you, Daemon spoke once again. "Rest on your upper body and lift up your ass."

You adjusted your position as he instructed you and as soon as he picked up the pace, your cries started filling the chambers. He was continuously hitting the sweet spot inside you that sent your head over the clouds.

"Daemon," you cried out his name, "I am getting close."

"Not yet," the Prince hissed the words as you screamed into the sheets of the bed, knowing very well the muffled sounds could still be heard from the outside.

When Daemon's hands got tangled in your hair, you felt anticipation quickly growing inside you. The moment he pulled your hair with enough strength to lift your head up from the bed, your cries of pleasure only got louder.

"Daemon!" You cried out, the Prince picked up the pace with each passing second, and the slapping of his body against yours echoed inside. "Oh, fuck! I am coming, Daemon, if you don't..."

Apparently, the Prince had decided to give you your orgasm. Instead of slowing down, he let your hair go to hold you firmly from your ass with both hands as he fucked you into oblivion.

At that moment, you simply felt like an animal.

The sateen sheets wrinkled in your palms as you reached your orgasm, your whole body shaking as you screamed out Daemon's name, your sight becoming blurry.

After what felt like hours, when you finally came down from your high, Daemon turned you onto your back with a swift movement, pulling out. Before you could comprehend what was happening - mostly because your mind was still in that post-orgasm fog - Daemon finished himself with two strokes of his hand.

His warm seed landed on your stomach, on your breasts and on your face as the Rogue Prince grunted your name over and over and over again.

When Daemon let himself fall down next to you, you were finally coming back to reality. You slowly pushed yourself to sitting, not caring about the cum flowing down your cheek or your breasts.

Daemon chuckled softly. "You have no idea how dirty you look, love." His voice was low but one could still hear the remnants of your love-making.

With the idea creeping into your mind, a naughty smirk formed on your lips. "Perhaps the Prince would like me to take a hot bath," you spoke as you started playing with his silver hair. "So that he himself can join me as well."

His laugh was like a song to your ears. "I assume you could not get enough of me."

You shook your head. "I have waited more than a decade so that I could have a taste of you," the words left your lips in a bitter manner even though that was not the intention. "And that cock of yours is a forbidden blessing."

Daemon straightened as well, sitting next to you. "About that," he took your hands between his, his tone was so soft it resembled his sixteen-year-old self. "I intend to talk with my brother on the morrow."

Your eyes widened with shock as you asked with a shaky voice. "About... us?"

The Prince nodded while he left a small kiss on your forehead. "I shall take you to Dragonstone, on Caraxes, and make you my wife," he whispered. "Queen of the Narrow Sea."

[sunnymoonxx]

red eyes, fangs and talons | miguel o'hara × fem!reader

summary: After another session with Miles, you're left with Miguel filled with anger and frustration. And only you know how to ease him up.

warnings; this is just pure filth, read at your own risk, degradation, unprotected p in v, oral (m receive), vulgar language, kinda voyeurism? if you close your eyes, praise, fangs, talons, talking about being "used," mentions of blood, bondage, angry sex

author's note: I'm not a native English speaker, so I apologize for any grammar mistakes. Also, the Spanish xd. I studied Spanish for a while, but it's no better than google translate, I tried my best xd.

m.list

"No puedo más, no puedo más," you heard a voice mumbling after the room cleared out, leaving only you, Jess, and Miguel. For the past two hours, you and Miguel have been trying to explain to the new recruit, Miles Morales, how the canons work and how they can not be changed. It obviously took a number in Miguel. He covered his face in his hands, back crouched, holding himself back to not break another innocent machine. You and Jess stood silently, glaring at each other, too scared to say anything. At moments like this, even Jess questioned her choices in life.

You decided to risk it and step forward towards Miguel, who still kept whispering something to himself. You were just a few steps behind him when he turned around, his eyes glowing red, facing you.

"Jess, don't take your eyes off Morales," he demanded, not taking his eyes off you. He towered over you, his hair a mess, eyes dark red, and fangs visible over his lips. He was animalistic. And it wasn't the first time you saw him like this. "Make sure he stays here."

"Copy that," Jess responded without hesitation. The next thing you hear is her motorcycle starting, leaving you alone with Miguel. Miguel's talons grew bigger, caused by uncontrollable anger and desire to destroy things. He ripped a machine in half, not even a few minutes ago, and even tho you've known him for years, you couldn't help but be a little scared. You stood there, not daring to say anything, not even knowing what to say, as Miguel moved towards you, scanning you with his vampire-looking eyes.

"You help him one more time," he started, his voice deep and steady, his accent more visible now. "You're out." The thought of being kicked out of the Spider Society made your heart skip a beat. This was all you had. You couldn't go back home. You had nothing there. But you knew Miguel or Jess wouldn't hesitate to send you back if it meant protecting the Multiverse. So you nodded without letting out a word. You understood, even tho you couldn't help but feel pity for him. For Miles. He's still just a kid. But if it meant the multiverse stayed safe, you would do anything to protect it. Even letting Miles' dad die.

"I understand," You kept your head low, not daring to look him in the eyes. You wanted to go and disappear into your room before you felt Miguel's hands grab your face, his talons touching your cheeks, lifting your head up.

"It's the right thing to do." He whispered, his voice a tad softer, but you could still hear the anger filling him. And you've been through this many times to know how this always ends. You didn't fight it. You actually enjoyed it, although you'd never admit it to yourself.

"Yeah, I know." You smiled at him, staring into his bloody eyes. His fangs pierced his lips, causing a drop of blood to drip down his chin. Without thinking, you lifted your hand to brush it off, Miguel carefully watching you. He didn't flinch or move. He let you caress his lips to wash away the blood on his full lips. You didn't even notice you were backed up against a table, Miguel's hand on your waist while the other still held your chin. You dropped your arms, fingers sliding down his torso, not breaking eye contact.

"I made a mistake, I know." You whispered, Miguel tilting his head, his talons carefully caressing your cheek and moving down to your neck. "I've made you angry." He nodded, approving of what you were saying, his eyes following the talons outlining the lines of your collarbones. His claws were so sharp. If he wasn't careful, he could rip your skin apart. And even though he was mad at you, at Lyla, and Miles at everyone, he didn't want to hurt you. There were always other ways to show you his anger and disappointment with you.

"I'm sorry for that, Miguel." You let out, his talons stopping where your heart would be. It was beating fast, blood rushing through your veins. He could feel it all. Hear your inconsistent breath. Feel you tremble beneath him. He could smell the heat between your legs.

"Está bien," his lips formed a little smile, you were sure you were imagining it. His hand moved to your chin again, grabbing you harder, forcing you to look at him. "Just don't obey my orders ever again. Is that clear?" He said out loud, making sure you heard him.

He grabbed your cheeks so hard you couldn't even open your mouth in response. But he knew you understood. And while you were focusing on his one hand grasping your cheeks, you gasped when you felt his other hand rip your suit in half, letting it fall to the floor. The number of torn suits of yours and the number of the new ones that Lyla has made for you, because of this reason. You lost count after seven.

You didn't wear anything under your suit, as it would ruin the lines of your figure, you were fully exposed to him now, his talons moving up and down your stomach. They were cold to the touch, making you hold your breath every time they touched your skin. But they still managed to make your panties wet with arousal. You loved it when he took you like this. Like you were his. Like you belonged to him. You exist just for him. You fucking loved it. Being taken from behind while pulling your hair. His fingers fucking your cunt because you wouldn't stop annoying him. You choking on his cock after he's had enough of your teasing. Being in the Spider Society had its pros and cons. This was one of the pros.

"Eres tan hermosa, arañita". he let out a breath, his talons circling your nipples. If he was so gentle with you, it made your walls clench around nothing. His hands stopped at your ribs, his eyes again scanning your face, head tilted. Like he was thinking about what he wanted to do. What he's gonna do with you tonight. It didn't take him a long time to figure out.

You watched as he placed his strong hands on your shoulders, slightly pushing down. You understood what he wanted. You kneeled in front of him, no questions asked. You've done this so many times, you knew his thoughts by memory. For a few seconds, he just stared at you, naked kneeling in front of him, looking at the massive bulge in his suit. Fuck, he almost came just by looking at you. So desperate for his cock.

You moved your hair out of your face, right before his suit opened, right at his crotch revealing his cock, already covered in precum. He was thick and big, spreading you every time he fucked you. It was a mix of pain and pleasure, making tears fall from your eyes, and orgasm take over your body. He never failed to satisfy you. Never failed to make you beg for more.

"You know what to do," he said, looking down at you, grasping your hair, pulling it slightly. You smiled to yourself, lifting your hands still on your knees and bringing them to his cock. As you grabbed him, your whole hand couldn't fit around him. Made you wetter than before. You decided to tease him a little bit, leaving just slight strokes, not fully touching him, your lips so close to him, he could feel your breath. You regretted it a few minutes after he lost his patience, pushing your head forward, his cock deep inside your mouth.

"Take it, you whore." His hands held your head in place while his hips thrust into your mouth. His cock in your mouth, leaving bruises, your eyes filling with tears. You loved being used like this. You loved being fucked like a slut. You enjoyed it when he called you derogatory names. Sometimes, he mixed it with praise. Fucking you hard, telling you how good of a slut you are for him. He could fuck you with his words without even touching you.

His hips started to move faster, his cock throbbing inside your mouth. He was close. And he was gonna cum on your tongue. Just how you liked it.

"Fuck," he growled, his hold on your head losing strength which confirmed he would finish in your mouth. "So good around my cock," he whispered to himself, fucking your mouth harder, making sure to leave bruises. To mark you as his.

"I'm-." Before he managed to finish the sentence, his cum started to fill your mouth, warming your tongue. He stayed there for a while, recovering before pulling out, breathing heavily. He watched you as you swallowed his load, licking your fingers after cleaning your lips. Fuck, you looked so good.

"You look so good when I fuck your mouth," he smiled at you, trying to push away the sweaty hair on your forehead. You looked so beautiful, kneeling in front of him, your tits out, your cheeks and eyes red, sweat dripping down your forehead. You were a mess already, and he had just begun.

"Stand up," he commanded. You had some trouble getting up after sitting for so long, Miguel noticed and helped you by lifting you up and sitting you down on the table in front of him. He was still so huge, your eyes facing his stomach. You both loved the size difference.

"I want you to be quiet," he said, his eye redder than before. "You're not gonna make a single sound, or I'll stop. Do you understand?" You nodded your head, understanding completely. You've already been through this. Many times, he left you all spread out in his bed because you couldn't keep quiet. Forcing you to deal with it on your own, but nothing ever felt good as his tongue or his cock.

"Good girl," he said, staring into your eyes, his talons digging into your thighs as he spreads me apart. Your cunt is so wet, the smell hits him in the nose. All he's done was fuck your throat and you were already soaking wet for him. He couldn't help but laugh to himself. He didn't break eye contact as his hand traveled down between your legs, making you bring your hand to your mouth to not make any noise as he touched your bare cunt. His fingers on your wet clit, gently moving up and down.

"No así, mi dulce." He clicked his tongue, shaking his head. It was too fast, you didn't have time to think as he turned you around fast, pushing you down, your tits touching the cold wood of the table. Ass up, and bend over. His favorite view. Just waiting to get fucked like a slut.

You should have known he wouldn't stop at this, as he also took your arms, forcing them apart and sticking them to the edge of the table with his web shooters. His feet kicked your legs, so they were more apart from each other.

"Joder, eres tan jodidamente hermosa." He whispered as he stepped back to take a better look at you. Bent down over the work table, legs apart, ass up, your tits pushed against the wood, and your arms tied up by his web shooters. So ready for him. Ready to get fucked in the ass by him. He loved the control he had over you. He cherished every second of it.

You felt his talons, going up and down your spine as you lay there, waiting for him to use you. He bent down to your ear, his fangs digging into your earlobe. "If you want me to stop, now is the time, sweetie," He whispered gently, awaiting your answer. You nodded your head.

"Good," he smiled, stepping back again as he took off his hologram suit, his brought shoulders and back visible to the world. You wish you could have seen him exposed, just like you, in the middle of an open office. Anyone could've walked in and seen you being fucked like a slut. But anyone with common sense knew not to bother Miguel now. So you were safe. And for Lyla? She's probably in here somewhere. But this was nothing she hadn't seen before.

Miguel's fingers brushed over your wet clit, testing you, if you make any noises. He was determined to break you tonight. When you stayed silent, he kneeled, attaching his fat tongue to you. That's when he heard a little whimper out of you. You could feel his cold fangs touching your lips, but you know he wouldn't use them like this. There were other places where he loved burying them inside of you. As your thoughts were occupied with his fangs, his tongue started to move faster, licking up and down your slit, his hands spreading your ass cheeks apart.

"Tastes so good," he growled against your cunt, sending shivers down your spine. His tongue and mouth were one of your favorite things about him. The way be devoured your cunt every single time. He could yell at you about how you're useless and only causing problems, but seconds later, he'd be on his knees, eating you out like he'd never eaten before. You could crumble on his tongue, and see stars and worlds just by the way he worked on your cunt.

You tried so hard to keep quiet as his tongue kept working on you, preparing you for his cock. His hands were still grabbing your ass you were sure he left a mark. He loved showing others you were his. That you loved being fucked and used by him.

You felt your orgasm approaching before you felt his tongue disappear and heard him get up, standing now behind you, staring at your cunt. The room was quiet, only his heavy breathing filling the silence. You weren't sure how you were gonna keep silent, and you were sure you were gonna fail.

"Tan bonito para mi," he smirked, grabbing his cock and stroking himself for a while before his tip touched your entrance. "No hagas un sonido." He said before slamming himself deep inside of you, spreading your cunt with his fat cock. You wanted to cry out, scream his name, but you didn't. Your walls surrounded him, his cock so deep inside of you, if you had free hands you could feel him by touching your lower belly.

"Mierda," you heard him whisper before he gently moved his hips back and slammed into you again. His thrusts slowly began to be harder and faster, making sure he didn't cause you any unnecessary pain. After he was sure and by your muffled moans, he started to pound into you like an animal holding your hips, his talons digging into your skin. His fat cock hitting all the spots in your cunt, your eyes rolling in the back of your head, making you see stars. You never wanted this moment to end. You kinda wished Miles Morales would stick around to piss off Miguel more often. You certainly liked the results of his anger.

"Miguel," you moaned, quickly regretting it and pressing your forehead against the table, hoping Miguel didn't hear it. You knew he did when he stopped his movements, his cock still deep inside of you. You felt him bend over, lips to your ears, fangs making an appearance again.

"¿Qué dijiste, querida?" he asked calmly, one hand on the table to stable himself and the other one caressing your back. You quickly shook your head, not daring to meet his gaze. You were so close, and he stopped. Fuck.

You wanted to apologize and beg him to continue, but he spoke first. "I'm not gonna stop." He whispered in your ear before slowly moving his lips down, his cold fangs touching your skin. "I'm gonna make it so much worse." His voice was calm, and you could hear him smirk in it. With his free hand, he ripped off the web shooters holding your arms before lifting you up and pressing you against his chest. He started to pound into you again, talons on your hips and his fangs piercing your skin. The overstimulation of it all made you cry out loud not holding your screams back anymore. You cried his name out before you knew it was gonna get even worse. His free hand moved down your belly to your clit, where he started to spread your lips with his fingers. Fuck.

You didn't know what to focus on first. His talons and fangs marking you as his, his fingers rubbing your clit, or his fat cock pounding into your cunt without mercy. You were tired, and your legs were giving up, but the pleasure taking over your body. You've never felt that ever before.

You were close, too close, and Miguel knew it. "Cum for me," he growled into your skin, taking out his fangs and sucking on the blood spilling from the wound. His fingers started to move faster in your clit, his cock not changing pace in fucking you. "Show me how much you love being my good little whore." He whispered into your ear and with the next thrust of his, you came hard on his cock, your walls almost crushing him. You wanted to fall down but Miguel's arms held you close to him, not stopping pounding into your already sensitive and overstimulated pussy. He was close himself, but you could feel another orgasm approaching as he kept fucking into you restlessly.

"Miguel, fuck." You moaned, his hand moving up to play with your bouncing tits. You could feel him coming closer, this time, same as you. With his last thrust, you came on his cock again and he followed you shortly after. His cum filling you up, marking you as his. You fell onto the table, trying to recover yourself, Miguel's cock still deep inside of you.

You felt his hands lean against your back as he himself tried to catch his breath. Both of you stayed like that for minutes before Miguel pulled out of you, turning you carefully against him and picking you up, bridal style. You didn't care where he was taking you, you were so fucked up you didn't pay attention to anything.

You realized he put you into a bath, filled with hot water that smelled like vanilla. Miguel followed you and sat behind you, pulling you on his lap.

"You did good," he whispered into your ear and started to wash your body from the mess you two made. "I'm proud of you," His lips met your cheek, and a smile spread across your face. You let him wash your sensitive body while you relaxed in his arms, slowly drifting to sleep.

[sollis-occasum]

a night like this - anakin skywalker x fem!reader

summary: you kept saying that everything was over between the two of you but anakin kept coming back to you every time.

warnings: angst, no use of y/n, insecurity, jealousy, miscommunication, mention of blood and injury, quinlan vos beheads a bounty hunter (just one sentence and it's not in detail either), mention of a vomiting twi-lek, reader is working in a pub, no proofread

word count: 1.7k

a/n: i haven't decided yet but i may write a few more parts to this story. i hope you like it guys. please don't mind the english mistakes, i'm not a native speaker.

Being injured was not unusual for Anakin Skywalker, but he could never remember feeling so vulnerable before.

As he moved, his battle-weary body convulsed with a kind of pain he had never felt before, reopening wounds that had begun to close, filling his nostrils with the metallic scent of blood. If your delicate sighs had not mixed with his moans from his blood-soaked lips, the pain he was in would have caused him to lose all sense of time and space. But how could he have allowed this to happen as you gently ran your hands over his face, wiping away the sweat from his forehead? This was perhaps the last time you would welcome him into this house where you had created so many precious memories together, and Anakin wanted to engrave everything from that night deep in his mind. Every sound, every image, every detail...

You had tried to tell him hundreds, maybe thousands of times before that everything between you was over, that you belonged in two different worlds. Anakin Skywalker was a young Jedi fighting to ensure that the light side of the Force prevailed over the darkness in the galaxy. You were just an ordinary barmaid working in a seedy pub in a backstreet of Coruscant. Unlike Anakin, your life was not full of fearless warriors and nobles with endless wealth, but of hardened criminals, addicts, and bounty hunters. How could you trust him and open your heart to him when he had been trained to fight the people you considered your family for almost his entire life?

And your experiences were very different, too. Anakin had traveled to planets you had never even heard of before, and met people you could never even see on the HoloNet. Some nights when you couldn't sleep, you would ask him to talk, to tell you things, thinking that hearing his soft voice would help you drift off. He would tell you stories from his missions. Sometimes these stories took place on a mountain on Alderaan, sometimes in an underwater city on Naboo. Usually, the people who accompanied Anakin on these planets were just as interesting as the mission itself. Master Jedi, senators, stormtroopers, sometimes even Chancellor Palpatine himself...

These stories that you listened to with great excitement at first, started to create a thin ache in your heart that even you didn't want to accept. You knew that Anakin had no bad intentions, that he just wanted to share something with you, but no matter what you did you couldn't resist the jealousy that was trying to take over your soul. Knowing that there is another life somewhere outside of this swamp you were trapped in and that you could only hear about it from others was driving you crazy inside.

Sometimes Anakin would ask you questions about your life, but you would either ignore them or leave them unanswered. You had no intention of appearing mysterious or keeping secrets. You just didn't have stories that would interest someone like him who had seen the entire galaxy. What were you going to tell him? Do you know, Anakin, today a Jedi named Quinlan Vos came to our pub and cut off the head of a bounty hunter with his lightsaber. The man's head fell into the lap of one of the stripper Twi-leks and she started throwing up. I had to clean up the vomit along with the blood on the walls. What a beautiful day, isn't it?

No, no... You would rather remain silent for the rest of your life than endure Anakin's pitying gaze as he listened to these. At least that way you wouldn't have lost your self-respect.

You took a deep breath to clear your mind and turned your gaze to Anakin lying on your bed. He looked so innocent and defenseless with his wounded state that your heart ached for him. You wanted to protect him from all the evil in the universe by hiding him in your house, which was a temple of memories for you, but how could you do that when you didn't even have the strength to protect yourself? The only good thing you could do for him was to get out of his life before you could hurt him any further. You tucked a lock of hair that had fallen onto his forehead behind his ear and muttered in a voice you could barely hear, "You shouldn't have come here, Anakin." You tried to make your voice sound firm and determined, but you couldn't stop it from shaking.

The young Jedi tried to sit up in bed, but couldn’t. He winced in pain and slowly lowered himself onto the headboard. He pressed his mechanical hand to the wound on his abdomen, as if the coldness of the metal would ease the pain. You placed your hand over his and began to gently stroke the metal surface with your thumb. Even though he couldn’t feel your touch, the gesture always soothed him. When you realized that having a cybernetic hand embarrassed him, you started doing it to show him that you loved everything about him, and over time it had become a habit. To Anakin, this robotic hand might have been a symbol of his weakness but to you, it was just a part of the man you loved.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a burden to you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Ani, you’re not a burden to me. You couldn’t be even if you wanted to.” You slowly removed his hand from his wound, as if you were afraid of hurting him, and kissed it. “What I was trying to say was that the Jedi at the temple could take better care of you. You know, with spells and all that.”

"Jedi don't do magic, they use the Force." He smiled for the first time since he had come to you. You shrugged, smiling. "They're all the same to me. I'm not sensitive to any of them anyway."

Your smiles and chuckles were not enough to break the serious air in the room. You had to stop for a few seconds and gather your courage to continue speaking. Your eyebrows were slightly furrowed in the meantime, and your lips were drawn into a thin line. A sadder expression than Anakin had ever seen appeared in his eyes, reflected by the moonlight. The wrinkles on your forehead made you look like you had aged a few years in a few seconds.

"But we can't keep doing this, Anakin. You know that too. You can't come to me every time. We've talked about this many times before."

Anakin tried to get closer to you, but the burns and wounds were hurting him so much that he couldn't. He leaned back once more, taking deep, raspy breaths, and unconsciously began to squeeze the old sheet. Despite the pained expression on his face, he neither blinked nor took his gaze away from yours. You knew that by looking directly into you eyes, he was trying to see something deep inside your soul. Maybe a trace of the affection you had only ever felt for him, or maybe a glimmer of hope that you would never give up on him... But he could see nothing but determination on your face, blurred by his misty eyes.

“Don’t do this to us,” he said in a pleading voice. The tears he had been trying to hold back had finally started to flow down his cheeks. With a quick movement, he pulled his mechanical hand from yours and wiped his face, hoping that you hadn’t seen them. He hated the power you had over him.

“Don’t give up on us like this.”

When you saw Anakin’s wet eyelashes, you felt an overwhelming desire in your heart to pull him close to you, to lay him on your chest, to caress the soft hair he had grown for your sake while he cried and tell him that everything would be okay, but you couldn’t do it. You knew that the moment you showed weakness, your ex-lover would draw strength from your hesitation and try to fight against your inevitable end. You did the only thing you could do and shook your head, hiding behind your cold expression. "I have no choice, Ani."

"I love you, does that mean nothing to you?" The sadness in his eyes was giving way to anger, but his voice was so weak that he could not convey his rebellion to you.

"Of course that means something." you said in a calm tone, almost mocking his anger. "I love you too, but I will not allow you to waste your life on a relationship that has no future. If you are so determined to go against the Jedi Code, you should at least do it for someone worthy. Senator Amidala, for example. She is a beautiful and noble woman, and it is clear that she has feelings for you. She can use her power and position to help you. I will only be a hindrance."

"Nonsense," Anakin snapped. "Padme is nothing more than a trusted friend to me. You are the only person I need to continue. I can fight the whole galaxy as long as you're by my side."

You sighed slightly and got out of bed. “We won’t have this conversation again, Anakin. My decision is final and there is nothing you can do to make me change my mind.”

You knew you were doing the right thing for both of you, but why did it hurt so much? Why did the right choice always require such sacrifices?

You bid Anakin a last farewell with an innocent kiss on the lips and started walking towards the old wooden door of the room. You could feel the salty taste of your lovers tears on your lips.

“Stay the night here and get some good rest. But I don’t want to see you here when I get home from work tomorrow.”

Those were the last words you said to Anakin before you left the room and his life forever. “This can’t be the end of us,” he muttered as he looked at your shrinking figure. He started to tangle his fingers in his hair that you had been gently stroking a few minutes ago and started to squeeze it. He shook his head violently from side to side as if denying the cruel words echoing in his mind.

"I swear I will find a way to fix everything and bring you back to me."

[zombvic]

TINDER IRL PART one (harry lewis x reader)

summary : in which y/n gets invited to the sidemen tinder irl (usa edition) and meets a certain brit and their instant friendship slowly progresses into something bigger

face claim : no one right now (kendall jenner later)

notes : reader is like a 2019 ICON like disstracks against the paul brothers, ricegum etc.. now STILL doing youtube but on a much more lowkey basis. also im sorry but i had to add that the reader is an f1 fan IM SORRY (im locked in as an f1 girlie) 😵 yall im not american or even close to a native english speaker (#slavicstruggles) but i tried making the readeramerican cause i tried to do the american la gf x british bloke bf xx god bless 'merica RAAAAAH. also i used lines from like all the videos and made my own cause the lines from this video were insane.. last also, don't be a ghost reader 🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️

pairings : harry lewis x reader , sidemen x platonic!reader , all the other youtuber in the videos x platonic!reader

warnings : drugs (ketamine joke)

You got invited to the SIDEMEN Tinder In Real Life youtube video. You are acutely aware to what the Sidemen are and you've seen their videos before. Now to be fair, the genres between your channel and their channels were pretty different. The Sidemen were known for football challenges, those 100$ vs 100,000$ challenges and other things with a similar vibe. You on the other hand, you did vlogs, lifestyle hack and tips, in your time you've achieved some disstracks and occasionally broke down some formula 1 grand prix weekend.

The moment you saw the instagram dm from the Sidemen official account you weren't sure how to react. Should you be excited? scared? worried? yeah.. all. It was the Sidemen, Logan Paul, Mike and George (idk who Mike and George but who cares).

Eventually you accepted the offer and waited till the day you had to be "picked up" by kinda random men for 5 minutes straight. The day came, you got dressed for the video shoot, they made you wait with the other girls until they called your name and then you walked in.

"Hi, I'm (your name). I'm 24 and i'm from Newark, New Jersey" (go devs go) You've practiced that line like 50 times before you left, not because you wanted to come out of this video with a new man but because you didn't want to embarrass yourself lmao.

"Hi, I'm Vikk. I'm 26 and are you from Tennessee, because you're the only ten i see"

"Would've been funny if i hadn't just said im from New Jersey dude, no sorry"

"Hello, I'm Logan-"

"No. Complicated history" you said as you swiped left.

"One chance please"

"Alright, BUT u gotta watch it tho"

"Okay. SO. If i were a pizza delivery guy, i'd be giving YOU the tip"

"Ew no sorry lmfao.. that was weak as fuck"

"Alright wow, Hello, I'm Tobi. I'm 31 and they say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?"

"Sure go on.. yes. I love that"

Hello, My name is Ethan and let only latex stand between our love.

"Yeah thats funny.. alright, go on"

"Yo, I'm KSI. I'm 30 and you know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Well.. Not in my case."

"Lmao, yes go on"

“Hello, I'm Mike. I'm 37 and girl, you don't need no vibrator when you got this Pickled Dick.”

"Jesus Christ. No, get out"

"Hi, My name is Simon and.. Simon says you want to swipe right"

"Lmao. I love that, Yes"

"Sup, I'm George and I’m peanut butter. You’re jelly. Let’s have sex"

"Jeeesus, that’s crazy bro... no"

"Hello, My name is Josh and I find your lack of nudity disturbing"

"No, I'm so sorry" (guys i love freya sm i couldnt do this)

"Uhm, Hello. I'm Harry. I'm 26 years old and what do ketamine and your underpants have in common?"

"I don't know" you said looking at the blonde-ish man confused.

"I'd like to sniff them both."

The whole room fell into a laughter, you included. "Yes"

"BUT I GET A NO?" Logan exclaims. "What a scam"

WHY DID YOU SAY NO?

(NO : Logan, Josh, Mike, Vikk and George)

"For Logan i think we left this in 2019 and rightfully so. For Josh i dont really know tbh, i just thought his line couldve been better. Mike, i think you know why i said no. Vikk.. Im gonna be honest i dont even remember what youve said but im sure i had my reasons and George, you couldve been waaaaaay smoother mate.. tough luck"

YALL. this is part one because i cant be arsed and put it all right here right now 😁😁😁

[somethingstrangeishere]

TW: leprosy

Baldwin IV with his mommy 🥺

She tries to cheer up her precious boy by doing something sweet for him.

"No, my dear, those bandages don't make you any worse! Please stop putting yourself down for how you look...Look, I made a bow for you! You're cute. I love you, Baldwin."

***

I don't know if you've ever had similar thoughts...I just felt like speaking up. Honestly, it's very hard to put my thoughts and convey what I'm feeling (I'm not a writer and also not a native English speaker), and to be completely honest, as I think about it, my heart hurts and my eyes water. So if you read this - thank you, and sorry for taking up your time. If not - well, I've eased my soul one way or another by speaking out.

***

My heart melts at the thought of a warm, understanding and trusting relationship between parents and children, and I also love the dynamics of family relationships. In this context, mother/son. I don't know, and no one knows anymore, about the relationship Baldwin had with his mother, whether they were close, but I'm not relying on historical reference, but on my interpretation and feelings.

For a good loving mother, her child is the best, the most precious, the most loved and desired. But life does not always turn to you and your child in a good way. Some people are unlucky - whether you are a king or a peasant, a sinner or a saint - fate does not care.

How does a mother feel when her son is mortally ill? Put yourself in her shoes. Just try it.

***

You hold your newborn baby in your arms. Here it is, your little bundle of joy, so tiny, so adorable... You want to give him all the best, now your whole world is him, your little angel!

Your son is growing up, taking his first steps, saying his first words. You dream about his future, you love him so much...

Time passes, you live in love and care for him. And you hope that it will always be like this - or as long as possible...

...Now forget about it.

Suddenly you are hit with devastating news - your son has leprosy. It knocks you off your feet, it chokes you, it tramples you into the ground, tears your heart to pieces. At that moment, as soon as you find out, you see nothing in front of you and hear nothing. Your mind is empty, and there is only one thought of your son, your treasure. Doomed, cursed. If there really is a God, why did he let this happen? Why your child? They say leprosy is a curse from God. Why curse an innocent child?!

Pain, despair, anguish. You want to weep, You want to grab your son, hold him close and never let go. You realise he's doomed. But he doesn't realise it yet.

As time goes on, his health gets worse. Your baby does not understand what is happening to him - he is scared, he is confused, he is waiting for your support and comfort. You smile at him, you give him everything you can - but inside your heart is pounding and tearing as if it were breaking your ribs. Every night you're choked with tears. Your son is your flesh and blood, you gave him life, you brought him into this world, you condemned him to this existence...

Time passes, you do your best, but it seems as if God himself has turned away from you. You pray to all the saints, you beg the Virgin Mary - she is a mother too, she must hear, she cannot fail to understand! But nothing changes.

Your son is growing up, and every year his condition gets worse. His skin is covered with leprosy spots. His eyesight is getting worse. He's always tired, he can't live without the help of doctors and medicines. He's rotting alive. People look askance. People judge. People see a monster. All you see is your angel. Every day you swear to love and care for him, swear you won't leave him...

***

A young 16 years old boy wins a battle. How proud you are of him! How weak his body is, but how strong his spirit. But he too has his moments of vulnerability...

...Especially when he fully realises he doesn't have long to live. He seems to accept it - or pretend to accept it...

How do you feel?

How a mother might feel when she realises that she may see her son die? Bury the one she brought into this world. To live to see that moment is something she doesn't want to do.

Thank you if you read to the end! I'm crying right now😭

[fangswbenefits]

getting this off my chest

I really, really love writing for this fandom.

I think I haven't felt like this in years.

Astarion is such an enticing vessel for my creativity and has rekindled my joy for writing and putting it out there.

Alas, imposter syndrome really gnaws at my nerves more often than I care to admit.

"But Ruby, you have so many people who like your work. Why do you doubt yourself?"

Because I grew up being told I was never enough. That I was the worst at what I did best, which back then was learning English and surrounding myself in the language, hence why I sought comfort in fanfiction.

My sister, whom I love dearly, is an English teacher. She would be so harsh on me, and I know she meant well. She really did. But it was so hard back then. I would come to her with creative writing in English and she would just roll her eyes and tell me I wasn't good enough.

Nowadays, she acknowledges that I am more proficient than her and more at ease with the language, and even tells my nephew to study English with me instead.

But back then, I needed someone to believe I could do better.

So, there is a part of me that is proud that I am able to deal with real-life fatigue by writing and finding enjoyment in this hobby. But a much darker part of me tells me I'm not worthy and that I simply got lucky.

The Arrangement means a lot to me. I tend to dive right into fandoms and start writing for the character that caught my eye.

But I couldn't do that for Astarion... I am still unsure why. For those of you who have been here from my Miguel O'Hara days or when I first started posting about Astarion, you'll know The Arrangement was the first thing I ever posted for him.

Took me 2 weeks to get the first chapter out because I kept thinking I couldn't find a voice for Astarion. One that felt like him. After all, I'm always a step behind because I am not a native speaker. There will always be that looming feeling that I can't convey this story properly.

Even if you now know me for my Astarion smut, that wasn't even the driving force of my love for him.

It took me 2 months to feel comfortable writing smut for him. Why? I don't even know.

But The Arrangement feels different.

I love writing it and I love taking my liberties with the plot.

It's my opportunity to fully showcase my love for him.

I know not everyone likes it. I know some of you have dropped it. Some of you will drop it. But some will walk along this path with me, and I can't stress enough how your feedback and love help keep these negative thoughts at bay.

It's an internal work, though. It is not your job to validate my writing skills. This is not what puts food on my table. I am not looking to be published. I am looking for an escape. And it's so frustrating when my mind tries to rob me of joy even when it comes to a hobby.

"If this is a hobby why does it matter what others think or if they like what you write? Just have fun. Write for yourself."

And I do write for myself, but I share my work because I am hopeful my words can make someone's day. I seek that connection I never had growing up. Perhaps it sounds silly, but it's what makes the most sense in my head.

The Arrangement should be my pride and joy even if not perfect (nothing ever is, I suppose). And I'm exhausted of not feeling proud of it. I'm tired of this vicious cycle of self-doubt.

Don't get me wrong. I love writing smut. I think that's what I'm best at (well, in my opinion). I love exploring Astarion this way, too, but...

I don't know where I'm going with this... if anyone has made it this far, thank you, and sorry for the word vomit...

[yoizgirlie]

LOVE ME TOO.

in which your whole life you waited for rin itoshi to love you back, but when he leaves you his brother comes into scene

word count: 4k

warnings: angst, f!reader, brief mention of suicide, some swearing i think, nswf parts but nothing too explicit

(au in which blue lock doesn't exist)

sorry for eventual mistakes, i'm not a native english speaker. this was written at 2am and it was definitely not proofread :))

their mother always joked saying you were destined to marry one of her sons. to her, it wasn't clear which one, but to you it could only ever be your dark-haired best friend.

yes, you were rin itoshi's best friend: you were regarded of the honor to be called his "friend". every friday evening, as if it was an appointment, you sat at the dinner table of the itoshi house. every friday, since you were fourteen, rin, sae and their mother would chat and talk about whatever things with you.

well, sae didn't talk that much - with anyone, actually, but rin's mother considered you a treasure, and a "saint for being able to stand rin 24/7", and while putting on a grumpy expression whenever she said that, rin thought that of you too.

he was grateful that you would spend the night at his house at any given opportunity, even when you turned sixteen and people didn't see it as 'appropriate' anymore, that you would sit with him at lunch when no one else wanted to, that you would help him train even if you couldn't hold a ball for more than two seconds without making it fall on the ground.

he had no idea. of how everything you did with him, was because your heart burnt with hopeless love. because everytime you looked at him you felt like you could have spent the rest of your life with yours tied to his, like you would have stabbed yourself to have just one faint touch of his lips onto yours.

but he didn't notice, even when you turned seventeen and he should have been more mature, more considerate of these things. that's what you thought when your friend, one of your girl classmates, told you it's crystal clear to anyone that you were head over heels for itoshi rin.

then how, you told yourself, how is he the only one who's blind in front of such supposed evidence?

there were times, like when you were watching a movie on his bed, sitting so close to each other you could hear his heartbeat into your ears and you felt like dying, or when you couldn't bear with the amount of school work you had and he hugged you while you cried on his shoulder, or when he would hold your hand with so much kindness and thoughtfullness that you would think it'd be impossible for him not to reciprocate your feelings, or at least acknowledge their existence.

but months passed by and you kept sticking together, just as "buddies", hugging and play-fighting and holding hands but just as friends. you felt your heart like a flower that was slowly withering, despite this you kept holding on to that faint hope that one day maybe, maybe, he could finally watch you with eyes filled with love. just like your own eyes did when you were together.

so, when you were nineteen ("we're elders now, rin! don't you feel old?) and your high school class organized a goodbye party with lots of alcohol and smoke and even drugs ("fuck we're going there, i won't let you walk around with all that weed around" "come ooon rin, you're no fun!"), and the bottle landed right on the both of you, heads blurred by the drinks, your heart did a backflip in your chest. you weren't really present at that moment, and rin mustn't have been either, because you leaned into a passionate make out session, not just a kiss.

step by step, while your classmates laughed and cheered, rin placed a hand on your esposed skin on your hip and guided you to a random bedroom, forgetting where and who you were with.

he really didn't know what he was doing, and you didn't either. it must have been the alcohol for rin, but can he really blame it all on the drinks?

things went how they had to go, and you found yourself awake the next morning, fully naked, next to the dark-haired boy. you almost cried of joy. because you waited all your life to see him lay on your side, sheets covering his naked body, a peaceful resting expression on his pretty face. you felt like if they killed you right then, you would've died happier than ever.

that's why, when he breaks the news to you, after weeks of not saying a word of what you two had spent together, you feel your world being ripped apart.

he's heading off to france. tomorrow. to play with a football team in paris.

"it's the opportunity of my life," he tells you, excitement filling his teal eyes, "i can't miss it for absolutely no reason."

you're included in those reasons, you guess. and as you simply nod, you sense a boulder weighing in your lungs and in your stomach and in your heart. because for you, he would be an enough reason to stay in japan. but evidently, to rin you didn't mean as much as you thought.

with watering eyes, you leave his house with a weak goodbye falling from your trembling lips, leaving him all alone in his room.

the next day, you're not at the airport to greet him.

-♡-

even after a couple of years though, you didn't fall apart as you expected the two of you to. you still hold a grudge at him for leaving you on your own in japan like you were just someone and not his best friend – if you could still call yourselves that after whatever had happened. it's been three years since rin left to play for paris' football club, and now his name is known in all of france, topping every chart in the french league, while you keep studying at university.

you are so proud of him. you talk to him via message every time he plays, congratulating your best friend.

is he really still your best friend though? yes, you still contact each other almost every day, but now he feels so cold and distant, like a shadow you struggle to touch from afar. you feel like rin is making his own life in france, with you not being on the picture.

does he have the same feelings for you as he used to? does he even miss you?

you guess he can be called your first heartbreak, your one and only.

you snork painfully as you think this, looking at the goodnight text you sent him the night before. he hasn't read it. you're walking along the familiar sidewalk, heading for the itoshi house.

you don't actually want to go visit rin's mother, but your mom insisted that you would bring her a few cookies you had cooked the other day. she said it was to thank her for everytime she hosted you at hers, and while you agree, you don't feel like going back to your lost crush's house is going to benefit you, y'know?

oh, if you are wrong.

you understand immediatly that the quick visit you are planning to make will take an unexpected turn when you see sae itoshi sitting on the sofa, legs wide open and an arm on the handrest holding his chin. damn, you haven't seen him in so long! you and rin were barely teens when he flied to spain to pursue his football career. in fact, you realize, after spending all that time at rin's house, you don't know him at all.

embarassment floods over you. you greet him, a little afraid, because just like his younger brother, sae itoshi is able to send chills down with his coldness. before greeting back, sae looks at you from top to bottom, and you're sure he's thinking just the same you're thinking of him. you have changed.

that day, you discover him. to you, before, sae was just rin's older brother, a shadow that was at your best friend's home and that every once in a while came into his room to ask him something, or to complain about you two making too much chaos. to be completely honest, back then you found him annoying and too full of himself, like he considered himself too good to talk to people. his poker face never changed, and that proved your point: he was your best friend's arrogant older brother.

until today, you had never properly spoke to sae. you mostly asked him where something was or if he had seen rin, and he answered not moving his eyes away from his phone. today, though, you talk to him until it's late at night. you don't talk about important things, it's purely chatting; even so, you can't help but feel captivated by sae. you find out he's back in japan but only for a few months, because there's no championship in summer, and since he doesn't own a house here his mother was glad to host him.

when you're back in your room, under the covers, you rethink of how, that afternoon, you were able to make a soft chuckle come out of his lips. you feel a bubble pop inside your stomach as you replay that moment in your head, and you feel like you want to make him laugh again.

and you do. because from that day, you gradually come to the point in which you spend every free moment you have with the red-haired. may it be at his house, at yours, in his car, at a fast food, wherever and whenever, you can't stay away from him.

he attracts you, like rin did. sometimes you look into sae's eyes and it scares how much he reminds you of rin.

but sae is different. when you are with him, you feel like you're pulled into a warm hug, like you're a bird in its nest. for some reason, sae feels to you like the matching piece of your puzzle. with rin, you always had disagreements and you were different from each other. sae, on the other hand, is similar to you in almost every shape, and while he may look cold he acts like the kindest person on earth when he's with you.

you like it. how he shows his emotional side to you and you only, making you feel special. rin couldn't do that, he didn't make you feel unique and important.

sae has never felt what he feels right now towards anyone. you're the first person able to make his cheeks warm up, or to make his mouth dry. he only ever thinks about you, to the point where he's worried about his well-being; he lives exclusively to see your pretty face, with your shining eyes and your rich lips and your silky hair.

you brought a ray of sunshine into his monotone life. every moment he passes with you feels like a drug to him; he remembers every single one of them.

like the time you told him you didn't like your name at all, and he told you he thought it was the prettiest while looking straight into your eyes, but he wasn't completely talking about the name. or when, laying on his bed, things got pretty emotional and you were confessing things to the each other and you told him under you breath how you lost your virginity to his little brother and that you missed him like crazy. in that moment, he found himself getting mad at rin for treating you like you were a puppy, but also because he got to be with you and sae didn't. or once you played together with his playstation at fifa and he beat you like 7-1, but when you scored that single goal you raised your hands in the air and made the cutest expression, then you hugged him really thightly and he felt every cell in his body heat up.

you get used to his presence, surprisingly in a few months he becomes more meaningful to you than rin has in many years. sae showed you that the kind of love you had for his brother isn't the only one to exist – the one you felt for rin was a fire ready to burn yourself and him, consuming you from inside, needy and endless, while your feelings for sae are a drop of rain that slowly falls into a vase, making the most beautiful flower grow. his love heals the scars rin left you.

the dark-haired boy reaches out to you much less frequentely now, and when he does it's just to check on each other, no big deal. your friendship is frozen now. he probably has no idea you and his older brother are estabilishing this kind of relationship, though.

sometimes you feel guilty for having loved two brothers, like you are playing around with them. but everytime you reflect on it, you come to the conclusion you can't decide who you fall in love with. sae and rin have been two periods of your life, each useful for what you needed at the time. but sae is the present.

you're aware, though, that the idilliac present you're sharing with him is rapidly coming to an end: it's august, and the spanish league restarts in a short time.

you refuse to believe the boy you fell in love with is leaving you alone – once again. while you know he won't completely abandon you and will probably facetime every evening, you are absolutely not ready to experience the same things you once did. the emptiness into your chest, the uselessness of days without his presence, the constant thoughts in your head that tell you to just stop living like this, to stop living.

you know you can tell sae anything, so you talk about it with him. it's a rainy night and you agreed to stay at his place to "hang out". when you tell him your fears, he feels the urge to protect you. seeing you so shaky and vulnerable makes sae want to hold you in his arms and never ever let anyone hurt you again – may it even be his own brother. may it even be himself.

so he cups your cheeks in his hands and looks you straight into your eyes, promising you slowly he will never leave you alone. he promises it.

he's so close to you you can feel his breath on your face, but he's close to your soul too. you feel your hearts united, tied with a string, for the first time since you've met him. and even though you've only known sae for a couple months, even though he'll leave japan soon, even though it could be wrong in someone else's eyes, you close the distance between you two and press your lips on his.

sae reacts slowly, softly, pulling you closer to him with an hand on your back as if he's afraid of hurting you. the kiss you share is sweet, tender, full of all the feelings the two of you felt during this summer. you're like two butterflies embrassingly colliding.

sae stops only to look at you, once again, in the eyes. he loves looking into your eyes, but he certainly loves you more. so he tells you. so you tell him you do too.

his eyes don't leave yours even when, a few days later, you're laying on his bed, back arching with pleasure as you two consume your relationship for the first time. sae's gaze stays chained to your shining eyes, because he's afraid that if he'll look away all of this will disappear in front of him. like this is all an amazing dream and if he blinks, he'll wake up.

it's not a dream though, and he realizes this is very much reality when you're sitting next to sae on the plane, flying to madrid. sae's hand is intertwined with yours, because you've never been on a plane and this shit is scary.

you've never left japan. and now, not only you're leaving everything you've known in your life behind your back, but you're also doing that with a boy you've known for barely three months.

yes, it may look like a risky choice, but it would have been way worse for the both of you if sae had gone back to madrid on his own. you've known each other for a short period of time, it's true, but you felt like you've loved each other since ever.

since rin left you, you understood life is too fleety to let opportunities pass past you. so once you saw sae handing over to you a chance of starting over, you caught it with both hands.

and here you are, standing in the most beautiful and luxurious apartment you've ever seen. you think what they pay sae per month is more than you would ever earn in a whole life.

as you admire the view of the spanish city from the house's window, sae places his hands around your waist and sinks his head in the crease of your neck. his hair tickles you, but you stay like this for moments that seem like hours, just the two of you, floating in your own ocean.

as weeks go by, you start to enter the rhythm of sae's life. he trains everyday, from morning to late afternoon, so you barely see him during the day. he doesn't ever make you feel neglected though, as every moment he is not training he turns all his attention to you, cuddling, playing, watching tv, eating together.

you insert in the busy life of the capital of spain too. you explore every single corner of the city, shopping from the most expensive shops you've heard (yes, with your boyfriend's credit card).

sae always invites you to his matches, making you sit in the vip section of the stadium. you have to stay there with other players' partners, and you don't really like them. they seem a little too fake to you.

but it doesn't matter; you can stand sitting next to the most irritating girl in the world if that means watching your lover play.

you coming to see him play means a lot to sae, too. when he notices you in the crowd, he suddendly feels like he's invincible. he starts to play with the heart, and people notice that. fans notice his playstyle has changed over the summer, but they cannot explain why. they can't explain why he lives football with much more enthusiasm now either. for example, he even celebrates scoring a goal now! he runs all the way down the pitch and points at something, or someone, in the stands. it's not clear what he's pointing at.

the someone always blushes, but nobody sees her.

-♡-

not much distant from there, rin itoshi is not living so well.

the boy hasn't heard from you since months. normally, you wouldn't let a few weeks pass by without texting him. rin doesn't know why, but he feels so empty.

he'd text you, he'd really do, if it wasn't for his stupid massive ego. he doesn't want to admit that he actually has the need to talk to you, and that you're hurting him with your silence.

he finds out from your instagram that you've moved to madrid, out of nowhere appearently. but you haven't told him, he found out on his own.

for all these years, you've always been the first to out to him, and it made him feel safe knowing that you still thought about him. he's selfish, he knows it, but you're the only fixed point in his life. the only thing he's sure will never leave, even if he acts like the disgusting person he is.

but now? rin's never felt you more distant. and he knows it's all his fault, he knows you should've done that ages before, but now that the actual consequences of his actions are starting to come to light, he feels guilt investing him.

throughout the teenage years you spent together, the boy has always been confused about his feelings. he couldn't tell whether what he felt towards you was platonic or actual love. he knew about your love for him, but he didn't feel like he could give you what you needed even if he wanted to. so, during the infamous party, rin tried to shut his brain off and that led him to sleep with you. and then, he was so overwhelmed by the immensity of what was happening with you he couldn't think of a rational solution. he did like you, but his future was already planned: he was going abroad to play football, become the best football player in the world, surpass even his brother, and then retire in an isolated, luxurious island. as much as he liked you, rin knows you have no place in a life like this; he didn't want you to suffer like he did when sae left to spain, therefore he decided to be as cold as he could to you. this way, you wouldn't have missed him that much.

at least that's what his messed up mind thought. now he realizes what he did was the dumbest move ever made by a person, and remorse fills him.

should he have told you that he actually liked you that night? that he was just afraid of engaging in something too big for him? should he have left you like that?

rin's mind is filled with whats and ifs. all he can think of are the past moments he spent with you, and how he should have made them last longer.

is this what it feels to miss someone? rin thinks to himself, wide awake at night. he rarely sleeps, as the regrets and overthinking keep him awake, and it's worsening his results in football.

nothing could go more wrong in his existence.

one day, he just gets tired of it. rin decides it's time to take control of his life, so he just dives into the next mistake – or maybe the next success.

"hey, book me a flight for madrid"

-♡-

in madrid, there's a couple sitting on a lonely bench. there's no one in sight, it's just the two of them. they're hugging, kissing, they're whispering honey-like words into each other's eyes.

everytime you tell yourself that couple is you and your boyfriend, you get surprised. because there's no way you're actually with the sae itoshi. he feels so much like a dream to you.

even if you're not the best football player in the world or whatever, you feel to sae just the same.

so there you are, immersed in your shared dream, under the sunset that makes sae's cheeks turn even more red. the breeze messes up all his hair, he's so cute you want to die. you pinch his puffed cheeks, making him complain saying he's not a baby, but you just hug him thighter and mutter on his hoodie you're really hungry for ice cream.

sae takes your hand and makes you stand up, telling you you're heading for the closest ice cream shop. you give him a kiss on the cheek out of happiness and start walking with him.

but as you walk, you freeze at the sight of an old acquaintance.

destiny sure is cruel, isn't it? it separates two people whose lives were supposed to be tied together only to make them meet again in the worst time. that's all you can think while you look into the teal eyes you used to love so much.

rin is standing right in front of you. after years of half-conversations and silence, he's standing right in front of you.

your jaw drops instinctively. the corners of rin's mouth turn up, warming you with an overly familiar smile. that smile brings to the surface thoughts and feeling you had buried years ago. you don't want those feelings to see daylight, not when your boyfriend is standing right next to you, unsure on his legs.

sae has always been certain of one thing: he can surpass rin in everything. but now, as he senses your grip on his hand loosen, he feels the world as he's always known it crumble under his feet.

[riniworld]

How about a yandere villain (that’s lowkey a little dumb) x reader sidekick (who always eats it up)

✨Y.E.S✨

I'm not a native english speaker so i search about "eats it up" meaning and from what i understand is like loving/enjoying something, is that right?

warnings// obsession,yandere themes,mentionof blood at the end,the part where you're young there wasn't any romantic feelings!!,not proofread

refrence//you.my precious.

gener//headcanon just 'couse.

a/n//i put a backstory for them because...yeah.

•you met when you was young,two lost children in the street.

•because you two living the same you start following him around like a lost puppy.

•he was annoyed at the start,but soom start to soften.

•you're younger than him So he make you his responsibility.

•he was stealing to bring you two food,most of the time he get caught but he such a good runner.

•now you're older and still together

•known as the "villains" of the city.

•you don't really care what people will call you,You owe him your life,he saved and took care of you.

•and he still do.

•you two were dreaming of a peaceful life when you were younger.

•but your boss,aka the villain,grew hatred toward who call themselves "heros".

•if they were heros,they would have known about you two and helped you to get somewhere to live at atleast.

•they're just a money dogs.

•he didn't force you into anything,He gave you the freedom to make decisions,and you stayed.

•that made him feel strange,for the first time someone really care about him.(not like you didn't in the past it's just different when you're adults)

•his feelings start to grew every year, month, week, hour, minute, second.

•oh god,where you always that beautiful?

•or when you patch his wounds,it take everything in him to not just kiss you right right here.

•Oh, someone hurt you? dead.

•someone said something bad about you? dead.(he knows don't ask how)

•he also has such a pure soul...yeah he kill but he still has SUCH A PURE SOUL.

*calls the hero*

"now listen to me hero I've"

beep

*stunned* "did they hang up on me just now?!"

"look darling i just figured out how to make the hero beg under me"

"hm?"

"I'm gonna steal thier dog"

"..."

•and you love that about him,of course if he was too dumb and put himself in danger you'll step in.

•otherwise it's fun to watch.

• he sometimes tries to flirt with you but end up ruining it all,or you flip it on him and he'll just be a tomato mess.

•but when he serious and extremely possessive he might be a bit..bit scary

•he was going to a dangerous mission/battle and you wanted to go along

•there was a cold,demanding gaze you see for the first time when he told you won't go.

•or when you disguised as a civilians for a "secret mission"(actually he just took you on a date-) and someone creepy start saying such things to you...no one has seen him again:D

•also he loves spoiling you,it's his way of making up for your deprived childhood.

•he don't want anything in return but to see your smile.

poor guy just wanted a house to live in together:(

BONUS

blood and dead bodies all over the place,your plan has success! you defeated six heroes atleast, and you two don't have that dangerous injuries too.

what a lucky day,you thought.

the villain pulled you by your wrist,taking you out your thoughts,and slide his hand on your waist to make you as close to him as possible.

he looks deep in your eyes,with this loving gaze.

"how about we dance,my precious?" he said in a husky voice. God,you're making him drunk.

before you can answer he start swaying you right and left softly.

maybe he'll go and live with you a peaceful life without the "villain" title.

I TRIED TO MAKE THIS HAS A BIT CRACK BUT I COULDN'T SORRY

istg i know this isn't what you want but that's how it turned out with me

have a nice day/night♡

[littlexscarletxwitch]

── ༊*·˚⋆ 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻

paring: yelena belova x fem!reader

tag(s): nsfw, smut with a really interesting plot (?), kinda like dark yelena I think

warning(s): MDNI, +18 ONLY read at your own risk, explicit smut, wlw sex, vaginal fingering (r receiving), dom!yelena belova, BDSM, mommy kink, squirting, kinda innocent r, grammatical errors, unedited

word count: 3.8k

note: GUYS IT'S FINALLY HERE, I'M FINALLY HERE. I'm so sorry I haven't been posting, I just really didn't have time to write and I have so many ideas and requests, and it's frustrating because I really want to write them but I don't have time lol. I finally finished this one, to be honest I don't know how I feel about the smut part, I honestly need to work more on it, but hey I'm trying. Anyways, I hope you guys like it. This one's for 💦🍯 anon, I really hope you like it. I'm not a native english speaker, so please let me know about any sort of mistake.

note 2: I actually can't believe how long it it lol. Based on this request

requests are open! + check my rules here + masterlist <3

Yelena felt everyday was the same as the previous one.

Wake up, pretend to be the happy wife and mother of a 10 year old child, take care of said child and fake husband, go to sleep and repeat the whole thing the next day. 

She was used to doing this kind of thing, that was what she had been trained for her whole life. Plus, she always had to be on watch, in case things went southways and she and the little agent had to make a run. 

But still, she couldn’t help but grow tired of the routine, constantly waiting for something different to happen. She wasn’t supposed to talk to her neighbours, the less people knew about her the better, her orders were just to play the lovely neighbour next door. But everything changed when you moved into town. 

She was notified of you arriving a week early. She was given a report of you, and everything in it seemed normal, a few fines here and there, but nothing more than that. She didn’t think anything of you, just another townie. But she got it all wrong. 

The first time she properly met you was the same Saturday night you had arrived in town. Yelena opened the door to you knocking, holding a pie in your hands. She was completely taken aback by your bright smile, it took her a whole second to function like a normal human being. 

She invited you in for a glass of wine, being the lovely neighbour she was. She introduced you to her ‘husband’ and ‘child’, and a few minutes later you parted ways. 

Long gone after you had gone, she could still smell your lingering scent on her house, causing a revolution on her stomach. She didn’t know what was going on with her, her heart began to beat faster at the mere thought of you, she felt her knees getting weaker and an unpleasant feeling in her core. 

That very same night, she waited for her husband and child to fall asleep, locked herself in the bathroom, and touched herself to the thought of you. 

The next day she made it her new mission to get to know you better. Because of her secret agent duties, she couldn't just approach you and talk to you. No, that would put you in danger, and Yelena couldn’t risk that. So she watched you, from afar, and soon it became her favourite hobby. 

Everyday Yelena would wake up, cook breakfast for her family, wait for them to get out of the house, get dressed and wait for you to start your morning routine. Everyday she would walk a few steps behind you, watching your every move. She would follow you to the park and watch as you played with your dogs. She would follow you to the cafe where you always had breakfast, follow you home, follow you to the library when you needed to study, follow you when you went shopping. She became your shadow. 

Sometimes, she would pretend to run into you, just to get a closer look and talk to you. Sometimes she would be bold enough to touch you, just softly brushing her fingers against your skin. Each time she did, she felt electricity going through her whole body. 

But she wanted more from you, she didn’t want to just watch you and imagine all the things she would do to you. She needed you, badly. You were driving her insane, with your perfect shiny hair, your beautiful smile and your flawless body. Touching herself to the tough of you wasn’t enough anymore. 

[...]

Yelena was patiently waiting for you to walk out of your house, but the hours passed and you were nowhere to be seen. She hadn’t from her window, never lost sight of your front door, there was no way you had walked out and she had missed you. 

She began to worry about you. You were the kind of person to make the most of the day, you didn’t sleep in, not even on the weekends. She started to think that maybe something had happened to you. Maybe she got too close to you and messed things up. 

Without giving too much thought, she walked out of her home, crossed the road and stood right in front of your door. She raised her hand to knock but she stopped herself once she heard loud whimpers coming from the inside. 

She quickly reached for her gun, standing by in case she needed it. She felt her heartbeat in her ears, remorse and fear filling her body at the thought of you suffering because of her. She went around your house, trying to get closer to the source of the sounds, and stopped in front of a window where the whimpers were louder. 

Her eyes winded at the sight before her eyes, she quickly covered her mouth with her hand, trying to hold the gasped that was about to escape from her lips. Slowly she put away her gun, her eyes not moving away, not even an inch.

You were very much alive, naked on your bed. Your eyes were closed, your breathing was heavy and while your right hand was in between your thighs your left one was pinching your nipples. Moans and whimpers were coming out of your mouth. 

Yelena knew that was wrong, but she couldn’t look away. Not that she tried or wanted to. The more she looked at you, the wetter she got. It was one thing watching you from afar on your daily routine, but it was a whole nother thing watching you in the comfort of your home, naked, pleasuring yourself. 

She was about to make her way back home to sort herself out to this new image of you when she heard something different coming from your mouth. At first she thought she had misheard, but then you repeated the word, over and over again as you were getting closer to your release. 

She watched as you thrust your fingers in and out of you faster, your brows were furrowed, your lips parted, your back arched like a cat, and a second later she watched you coming undone. 

“Fuck! Yes, Yelena!” she heard you screamed, as you opened your leg wider, giving her the perfect view of your cunt covered in your thick cum. 

It took her three whole minutes to snap out of it and run back home. The second she stepped in, she went to her night table drawer, grabbed her wand vibrator, locked herself in her bathroom and came hard to the thought of you until she couldn’t take the pleasure anymore. 

In the late afternoon, she watched through her window as you exited your house and headed to the park to walk around your dogs. She thought it was hilarious, you weren't as innocent as you appeared to be. Sweet kind Y/n, who touched herself to the thought of her supposedly married and with a child neighbour. The need to have you became stronger and now she wasn’t going to hold back. 

[...]

You were her new mission now, she planned on seducing you. She invited you over every time her husband and child went away, doing whatever it was they were told to do. You gladly accepted, Yelena was the only one who had been nice to you ever since you moved, you thought you could use a friend. Even if you didn't have any friendly feelings for her, even though you fantasised about her every night, even though she was married and with a child and even though you found that last part a bit arousing. Knowing that she was out of your limit only made her more irresistible 

So every afternoon the two of you would have a coffee together. Yelena didn’t talk much, she didn’t want to nor could she. All she wanted was to hear your lovely sweet voice. So she would ask you all kinds of things just to keep you talking. 

Slowly but surely, she would throw you hints. She would say things like how her husband wasn’t what he used to be, a big fat lie since she didn’t properly know the guy. Or she would say how everyday felt the same as the one before, a half lie since her whole word got more interesting once you showed up. 

She would find any excuse just to touch you, in a subtle way. She would touch your hands, sometimes even your waist or cheeks. Everytime the two of you hugged goodbye, Yelena would hold you tightly against her, wanting to feel your body against hers, but both of your clothes were always in the way. Still, she found some comfort in your scent. 

And then, finally, you realised that you weren't just imagining things, that Yelena needed you as badly as you needed her. Your afternoon meetings became make-up sessions. 

Yelena wanted to take things slowly, to not scare you away, even though she felt like she was going to die if she didn’t have a taste of your body. But you just couldn't take it anymore, your fingers weren’t doing the job anymore, you needed her to take care of you. 

So, the next day, the second her husband and child drove away, you desperately knocked on her door, and once she opened the door you smashed her lips against hers. 

“I can’t wait any longer, Yel,” you whispered on her lips, not caring if anyone had seen the two of you. 

“Fine, detka. We’ll do it your way,” the nickname caused butterflies in your stomach. 

She grabbed your wrist, pulling you inside and once she closed the door she slammed you against it. 

You felt your breath already getting heavier and she had barely touched you. She traced your jaw with her fingertip, moving down to your collar bone and further down to your breast. You shudder as she traced your nipple through your clothes. You unconsciously rubbed your thighs together looking for some kind of release. 

“Patience, malyshka,” she said, getting her knee in between your thighs. “I’ll take good care of you, yes?” her russian accent got thicker, filled with lust. 

You felt as if your skin was on fire, just from her touch and closeness. 

“There are so many things I wanna try out with you, pretty girl,” she said, kissing your jaw and neck. Leaving love bites all over your sensitive skin, your head fell back giving her more access, as you tried to hold back the soft moans escaping from your lips.

“I want you to do anything you want to me,” you breathed out, your mind getting foggy as all you could focus on was her.

 “Really? Will you let me use you?”

“Yes,” you gulped down. 

“Mommy.”

“What?” you innocently asked. 

“‘Yes, mommy’. Say it, detka.”

“Yes, mommy,” you swallowed hard, the new nickname getting your core wetter. 

“Good girl,” she kissed your cheek. “Shall we take this to the bedroom?”, she said, a firm gripped on your thigh. 

“Please, mommy.”

She grabbed your hand and the two of you made your way to her bedroom. Once inside, she made sure to lock the door, just in case anyone who wasn’t wanted would come in. Her lips found yours again, it didn’t matter how many times you had tasted her lips, they always felt like the first time, sending shivers up your spine. 

As she stepped closer to you, you unconsciously stepped back. The back of your knees finally hit the bed and you fell on it, Yelena was fast to crawl on top of you. A loud soft moan escaped from your lips once you felt the pressure of her whole body on top of yours, wanting for the two of you to stay forever this close to each other. Her lips moved down to your neck as her hand tugged at the hem of your shirt. 

“Please, take it off,” you breathed out. 

She did as you told her to, smiling to herself once she realised you weren’t wearing anything underneath your shirt. 

“Naughty Y/n, not wearing a bra. This is how badly you wanted me to fuck you, right? So desperate, babygirl.”

“Yes, mommy.”

“Oh, man. Look at those tits,” she said, adjusting herself on top of you. Her calloused fingertips found their way to your nipples, pinching and twisting them. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head. 

She gave your nipples a few licks and bites before getting up. 

“Where’re you going?” you whispered, confused that she was leaving you half naked on her bed. 

“You said you would let me use you, right peaches?” her voice was hoarse.

“I did,” you swallowed hard, she was definitely up to something, you could feel the smirk on her face.

“We need a safe word, babygirl,” you could only see her back, she was kneeling down in front of her closet looking for something. 

“A safe word?” you stuttered, what would you need a safe word for?

“I promise you won’t have to use it, baby. But if you want me to stop or you dont feel uncomfortable just say ‘vanilla’, okay?”

“Okay,” you said, not sure what she was referring to but trusting her nonetheless. 

Once she faced you, you noticed that she was carrying a lot of things. Most of them were fun bright colours and they seemed to be made of silicone, but what made your core go wetter were the metal ones. What were those for?

“Okay,” she said as she placed them on the bed, “let’s take this off,” she gestured to your pants. 

You, being the obedient girl you were, followed her instruction, wanting more than anything to see what was next to come. 

“Such a good girl,” she praised, trailing her fingertip through your body. “Do you know what this is for, malyshka?” she grabbed one of the metal ones.

You shook your head. 

“Of course you don’t,” she smiled down at you. “This bad boy right here is to keep your leg spread out for me, can I use it on you?”

Even though she was the one in control of the whole situation and she was demanding you to do things you haven't done before, there was some tenderness in her words, which only made you want her more. 

You could only nod at her. The truth was you would let her ruin you in every way possible. 

You felt the leather cuffs around your calves, the metal bar in between your legs keeping them open as she had said. 

“What’s that one for?” you nod your head to a bigger leather cuff, two metal chains hanging from the middle of it. 

“Oh, we don’t need to use—”

“I want to,” you cut her off. You knew better than to go against her but you wanted to give your everything to her. 

“Fine, if you insist,” she smiled at you. 

She grabbed the thing and got on top of you. She clasped the leather cuff around your neck, making you gulp. The chains had clips at each end, your brows furrowed not understanding what those were for. 

Yelena could tell you were confused by them, she found the whole thing both arousing and cute. She felt lucky she was the one to teach you all this kind of stuff. 

“Now, these little guys go on these little ones,” she said, grabbing both clips and clapping them around your nipples. 

The soon you felt them around your nipples you felt this shock of both pain and pleasure, a soft moan escaped from your lips. You could feel your cunt was already dripping wet and she was just getting started. 

She got off of you, and took a few seconds to admire you. You were now completely on display for her, legs apart and a collar around your neck. Yelena thought you couldn’t look prettier but then again there you were, all cute and bothered, and most importantly all hers to do as she pleased. 

“What’s next?” you breathed out.

“Now these ones,” she grabbed two more leather cuffs and wrapped them around both your wrists. “Okay lift up your legs for me,” you did as she told you and then somehow she clasped the cuffs to the metal bar. 

You helplessly tried to move, but there was no use, she had completely restrained you.

“You look so good, detka. I want to take a picture of you looking all submissive for me,” she kissed your forehead and you could only smile at her words please that you were being good for her. 

You watched her as she grabbed a weird looking microphone, she pressed a bottom and the thing started doing a buzzing sound. 

Yelena lifted up your legs and pressed the thing right in your core, exactly where you needed her the most. A loud moan escaped from your lips as soon as the thing touched your skin. Your eyes once again rolled to the back of your head, finally getting some kind of actual pleasure. 

She traced small tight circles around your clit with the thing, making you whimper and setting your skin on fire. You wanted to close your legs, giving that the pleasure was all too much at once, and that was when you realised why she wanted the metal bat in between your legs. 

She was actually tourtung you, in the most satisfying way a human being could torture another one. She was giving you what you wanted, what you needed, but it wasn’t nearly enough. 

“Mommy, please,” you begged. 

“What is it, baby?” 

“I need you,” you gasped as she kept the thing torturing you poor clit. “I need you, mommy.”

“It’s okay, baby.”

She traced your entrance with her fingertips, gathering all your wetness. She licked her fingers, having a small taste of you and she couldn't help but moan at how sweet you tasted. She quickly moved her fingers back to your core, and slowly pushed her middle finger inside of you. 

As soon as you felt the pressure of her finger inside you, you once again wanted to close your legs, and you found it arousing the fact that you couldn't. 

She pulled back her finger and pushed one more back in.You felt your cunt being stretched out by her two fingers, making you whimper. While she was giving your clit attention with the white vibrating thing, she quickly found a perfect pace inside and out of you. 

It all soon became too much. The collar around your neck, the clips on your nipple, the bar in between your legs, the thing on your clit and her fingers inside and out of you. 

“Mommy, fuck,” you couldn’t formed words your brain too foggy to, “ I think I’m going to come.”

Yelena took that as a sign to get her pace faster, chasing after your release. You could hear the sounds of skin against skin as Yelena pushed her finger inside and of you. The closer you got to your orgasm the more you felt the need to close your leg given it was all too much for you. 

As tears formed in your eyes, you felt something in your stomach snapped as your orgasm took over you. Yelena didn’t slow down, and soon enough she found herself covered in your juices. You squirted, warm liquid coming out of your cunt, getting all the bed sheets and Yelena’s arms wet. 

Once you came down from your high, you realised what just had happened. You didn’t know you could do that, you have never done that. 

“Well would you look at that,” she said, “I think I just outdid myself, don’t you think, detka?” she had a grin on her face. 

You felt your cheeks go red but chucked at her words. She had in fact outdone herself. 

You felt your whole body getting numb and your eyes getting heavier. 

“You’re feeling sleepy, babygirl?”

You nodded at her, too tired to answer her. 

“You can rest now,” she said, unclasping the cuffs around your wrist and calves, but leaving the collar around your neck. 

Through your tired eyes, you watched as she undressed herself. You brows furrowed and Yelena noticed your confusion. 

“It’s okay, baby. You don’t have to do anything, alright? Just let me use you as you promised me, okay?” her tone was so kind but her words had other intentions. Still she was right, you told her she could use you as she pleased. 

She grabbed what looked like a double ended silicone dick and slowly pushed inside herself half of it, as a soft moan escaped from her lips you couldn't help but rub your thighs together feeling your core hot once again but were too tired to do anything about it. 

But Yelena wasn’t tired at all. She spread your legs open and adjusted herself in between you. You groaned as she rubbed the silicone dick along your slit. And then slowly pushed it inside of you. 

She started at a slow pace, in and out of you, getting you all hot and bothered again. As she picked up her pace, you could feel your second orgasm getting closer. And by the way her brows were furrowed, her eyes shut and her lips slightly parted you could tell she was close too. 

You grabbed her by her chin and pressed your lips against hers, her tongue soon finding her way inside your mouth, tasting every corner. She moved her lips down your neck and found your nipple. She unclasped the clip and replace it with her mouth. She sucked, licked and bit your poor nipple as she trusted even faster and deeper into you. 

“Mommy, I’m gonna—” but a loud moan stopped your words, as Yelena trusted faster and sloppier into you as she chased her own orgasm 

“Oh, fuck,” you heard her said before she cry out your name over and over again, reaching her orgasm. And you came right there. 

She came down from her high, slowly thrusting into you. Once she was done she lay next to you, both your breaths were heavy. She unclasped the other clip from your nipple and kissed your forehead. 

“You did so good, malyshka,” you had a sleepy smile on your face, already thrifting off to sleep. 

As you slipped away from reality, you felt her wrapping her arms around you and started singing some russian lullaby. 

Yelena watched as your breathing became slower and soon enough you were fast asleep. She chuckled at how tired you had gotten from a few little things. She wanted to have you like this forever, all to herself. But she couldn’t, she was an assassin for god’s sake. 

Or maybe she could, she just needed to come up with the right plan.

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3

-M

[radfem-polls]

Hey everyone, I have a lot of disabilities and they are really kicking me in the ass lately, including difficulty looking at screens.

Because of this it's made it hard to do polls and keep the queue going.

Obviously I don't want to deactivate, but I'm going to have to take a more hands off approach. I'm looking for a person or two to join this blog and help me keep the queue going, along with tagging posts.

Main criteria: the person must be a radfem, not rad-leaning. Aka one who fully embraces the term radfem and has all of the beliefs and some level of implementation in her life. Being a full separatist is not necessary but will be considered.

I also need someone who is not as disabled as I am, so anyone who has difficulty looking at screens/focusing for enough time to queue up polls, would not be suitable.

I also need someone who is good at English, whether native speaker or non-native, doesn't matter.

I will also prefer those who have been interacting with the blog for a while, and those who have a lot of post/reblog history so I can check their blog to ensure they're a radfem.

And of course, at least 18 years old.

If you don't mind people knowing what your blog is, inquire in the comments or reblogs, and briefly describe how you meet the criteria.

If you would rather your blog is private, I will have my DM's open for the next two days.

Once I find one or two people, we will use sign offs in the post, e.g a letter or an emoji

🫶🏾

[nightsadness]

Can I come with you?

Tags: fem!reader, angst

Pairing: Fyodor Dostoevsky x fem!reader

Warning: The death of a canon character, the reader longs greatly. There may be errors in the text, as I am not a native English speaker, I often had to use the help of a translator

A/n: I was inspired by the song "Ap$ent - Можно я с тобой? (Can I come with you?)" and wrote this headcanon based on the verses of that wonderful song. As I wrote above, I don't speak English, so I used a lot of translators, trying to write normally 😞. Please let me know if it's really bad.

Горят фонари Я бы до зари с тобой мог говорить

The street lights are on

I'd chat you up till dawn

Though you were no match for Dostoevsky in intellect, Fyodor thought you were an smart person with whom he could have a good conversation. In those rare moments when the man gave you time, you could talk for hours, mostly on quiet evenings, against the window, which was not covered by curtains, and thanks to this, the room was illuminated only by the bright light of the moon, giving its own special, peaceful atmosphere.

Но тебе снова пора Как всегда, какие-то дела с утра But it's high time for you to be gone

You've got work to do, as well known

You and Fyodor spent very little time together. You didn't like it, but there was nothing you could do about it. After all, Dostoevsky was obsessed only with his goal, and it was his first priority. You couldn't deny it. And you, no matter what, wanted to be with him and always waited for him.

Longing was your frequent companion when you felt the lack of a man's attention, but you didn't bother him, realizing the importance of his "purpose" realizing how much own plans meant to him. Every day you woke up and went to sleep alone. Though there were exceptions when Fyodor lay down with you, but, as a rule, in the early morning he was no longer in bed. And those moments were so rare that you could count them on your fingers.

Да, тут так себе вайб Видимо, пора. Ну что ж, бывай, родны край!

Yes, the vibes here're better be kept at bay

So, my land, bye-bye! Seams, it's time to go away...

That was the day. The day when you saw Fyodor for the last time in your life, but you hoped with all your might that it wasn't true. You couldn't even sleep for a few nights, thinking about him all the time. And you were not comforted by the thought that Fyodor was so damn cunning and clever, and he always had everything under control. Every day was a nightmare for you, because those damned thoughts were tormenting you from the inside.

По кустам ночной тропой Да, план отстой. Nocturnal trail is truly long

Yes, the plan is sucks

You heart sank into my heels, and there was a look of pure shock mixed with sadness on my face. You didn't want to believe that Fyodor was dead. How, HOW the hell could this have happened? Your breathing quickened at the news, and you fell helplessly to your knees, clutching your head with your hands. You'd always known his plan was a really sucks, and you'd even said Fyodor about it. But he didn't care what you thought of his goal.

To get your thoughts together, you decided to go for a walk. It was a blue night and a cool breeze was blowing. That's what you needed..

Всё давно позади Но зато есть вспомнить что и что обсудить

All in the past, the deeds we tried

But there are things to call to mind

It had been about six months, but you still wanted to be with Fyodor, to hold him again, to kiss him, to listen to him. You missed his attention, which he gave you, though rarely, but still gave it to you. Maybe he didn't really love you, and you were just a pawn...or maybe not? But that didn't bother you much. You wanted to be with him and only him. It's hard without him. So hard, such unbelievable pain. Every single day you remembered all the moments with him, that was your only consolation.

Если решишь уйти на покой Вдруг раньше, чем я — постой

If you decide to leave peace

before I do, hold on...

One day you were sitting on the roof of a high-rise building, looking up at the night sky, rubbing the pendant that Dostoevsky had given you. You never took it off, especially since the man was gone from your life. The longing was eating you from the inside out, but you had to be strong! Hah....You couldn't. Or just didn't want to, who knows. Your gaze was downward, the city seemed so small, and people walked around below like ants. Building was too high and you were sitting on the very edge. but it didn't scare you.

— Можно я с тобой?

nightsadness © 2024

[allastoredeer]

I just read your entire Just Kiss Already series up to the latest one with the huge fight between the two and ARGH you write them both so well!! Especially Lucifer, his anxiety and stumbling-through-his-words dialogue that makes him oh so relatable to me are perfect. And as an English Language and Literature graduate who's not a native English speaker, your writing has some GREAT vocabulary and phrases I absolutely love.

As someone aroaceage myself (on all 3 spectrums not 100% completely aromantic, asexual, or agender, just FYI since people forget it's a spectrum and then attack me way too often and now I'm wary) it's so refreshing to see another aroace person writing Alastor with his "I hate personal space invasion" attitude that I share. I strictly hate giving up my privacy and your explanation for how Al feels makes so much sense (and also makes me feel like I won't be friendless my whole life, so thanks :') if Alastor can end up with someone despite hating intimacy and if Lucifer can despite being awkward and desperate then damn. Maybe so can I). Oh, and Vox being the pathetic desperate wet tissue he is is soo entertaining. I don't babygirl-ise characters often but he's just so. Fun to watch embarass himself. I can't help it.

I came to your blog just to say this but got a lot of RadioApple discourse that I'm honestly a bit intimidated by since I wasn't aware of all this happening at all, I just follow a very select few creators and now I don't know whether I'm doing something wrong. Personally I don't care much about top/bottom dynamics (except in certain situations) so I'm just confused and worried lol. And what's with the outfits and likes??? I'm out of the entire loop. But I'm glad conversations are happening when they should!

Anyway, I canNOT wait for more from your series, wherever it goes. I'd draw fanart or write fics in your AU with your permission but I'm currently having every creative block known to humanity for several years. Somehow.

I usually comment on AO3 itself but you connected your Tumblr after every chapter so it felt right to come here, even tho I'm not too active on social media sites. I hope you don't mind my mostly-unrelated rambles. All the kudos to your fics!

First and foremost: You aren't doing anything wrong.

It's fine if you're out of the loop. There's really no loop to begin with. It's just some fandom tropes and characterizations a handful of us don't enjoy seeing and we're ranting about it LOL If you like any of those tropes or characterizations, or follow people who make art/fics with them, there's nothing wrong with that either. There's no need to be worried, you're doing just fine 😊

Secondly, THANK YOU!!!

I don't think anyone is 100% ace, aro, or agender, it's a spectrum, afterall. There's no meter you have to reach to be considered 100% a sexuality, you just are :) If you say you're ace, aro, or agender, that's what you are, and anyone who wants to argue about it can go kick rocks.

I base a lot of how I write Alastor's aceness on myself, so hearing people say they feel the same is just (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) It's so amazing to hear. I'm a very private person and I like my personal space; I'm not a very physically touchy person, and thankfully, I have an amazing friend (who's love language is physical touch and affection) who knows and understands this and doesn't touch or hug me without permission - I love her so much T.T

Vox is such a pathetic wet tissue and that's what I love about him

(づ￣ ³￣)づ I wanna give him a little kiss on his big, flat forehead.

I'm so happy you're enjoying my fics and relating to them so much. I don't think there's a higher compliment an author can get than their readers saying that they saw themselves in the story and characters. It's such an amazing feeling, it makes me all warm and tingly inside.

Once your creative block lets up - whenever that may be - you have my full permission to draw and write as much as you want in my AU.

Thanks for visiting my tumblr!! Sorry you felt intimidated by the discourse, that's not fun. Just know that you're not doing anything wrong, and whatever fandom content you engage with is perfectly fine and you shouldn't feel bad about enjoying it ^.^ Fandom is escapism and we're all here to have a good time.

Thank you for your rambles!! I enjoyed reading them!!

[shoukiko]

Hi, you can keep this unanswered and not post it, but I want to help you understand the thought behind some of the points in your criticism post. Before I start I want to apologise if I come off as blunt and rude, that's not my intention and I'll try my best to show my tone as unthreatening but I'm autistic and not a native English speaker, which complicates things lol

*general you used throughout the ask

First, I want to start with this: they all are part of the army. You don't need to dig much to see you'll rarely see a "morally upstanding" person in the army, be it because they're cheaters, abusers, compliant with all that or they're (insert -ist/-phobe category here). UK military spouses are 3 times more likely to experience intimate partner violence (IPV). I'm not saying the COD characters need to be written like that, but it wouldn't be "unrealistic" if we take real life statistics into account.

Second, and maybe the most important thing, everyone writes COD characters OOC. The majority of the active fandom on Tumblr and tiktok have seen gifs and 10min out of context clips from the game at best. It's to be expected to not frequently find something actually in character for a lot of the guys. Especially with characters that are just operators like König, Nikto and Krueger. In their case everything is and isn't OOC at the same time because we just... Don't know these characters. We lack characterisation past maybe 1-3 traits about them. I'd argue that's why the fandom liked König so much, other than being masked, he's the perfect paper doll! You can dress him up in whatever characterisation you want and it probably won't contradict his canon (because he barely has one and what he has is quickly misinterpreted (anxiety disorder turning into shyness for example)).

Now specifically on your "How are you going to hc a victim as the abuser?" - simple, whether you like to accept it or not is up to you, but it's not far fetched for victims to become abusers later in life. Just look at serial killers statistics - 74% of US serial killers were psychologically abused and 42% were physically abused as children and later in life followed a similar pattern brought to an extreme. Or on the other hand, a tamer example would be generational trauma because that's how we get that (grandparent was abused and because that's all they know, they implement it in bringing up their child who, for the same reason, implements it in bringing up the grandchild and so on).

The final thing I want to say is, it's good to block people who you don't vibe with. Doesn't matter if it's because they wrote something that personally disturbed you or you simply don't like their blog theme or you see them too often in the tag. Personally curating your experience is key in fandom, utilise the tools Tumblr has given us. Of course as you and others have mentioned that's impossible without some assistance from the other side. Tagging is extremely important (tagging with the correct words without censoring!!! Or the filter won't catch! Rape, noncon, incest ✅; r@pe, n*nc*n, 1nc*st ✖️✖️).

I hope this isn't too messy or long aaaa

I really appreciate you taking the time to type this up and actually speak to me about this, your input is very appreciated. /gen

I do think I could've done better on that post since I wrote it in the heat of the moment, all characters are written OOC and it was ignorant of me to say

"Maybe read the characters backstories and actually take their past into consideration because you guys kinda look dumb for making these characters so OOC."

I hope ya'll can really take the time to see my POV, I did not mean. any harm, I've come across some gross things, but blocking and filtering tags so much as begun to be tiring.

My main issue is tagging, without tagging I am left with getting triggered by random posts because the first few sentences may include something on my trigger list.

That's all I want and also what a lot of other people want.

Writing is meant for anyone and everyone, a form of art and perhaps a for of therapy.

Please tag your work, you are not the only person on the internet.

Thank you for reading!

[naritaren]

How to use strategy to follow the G1:

The first tip I am going to dole out is just pay for njpwworld. It's like 7 bucks USD and you won't be fighting for your life on the high seas. When signing up, use Google translate and sign up with the site in Japanese. Once you get logged in, switch the site language to English and you are good to go. For some reason the site bugs out if you try to register in English. 🤷

Secondly, NJPW posts all of the cards and the order they are in ahead of time. You can check on the schedule page. The results page on the same website will give you just that, the results. This is going to be key so if you are fast forwarding to watch just one match, you know where to stop. If there is a change in the card for any reason, they will announce it at the very start of the show, on Twitter, and on the website.

Now, you want to get a feel for the storylines? Your best bet is to watch the backstage comments. The only people that get in-ring promo time on these tours are the winners of the main event. Everyone else gets to be unhinged backstage. There are three places you can find the promos; njpwworld, njpwworld Twitter, and Youtube. They go up pretty quickly and get subtitled, but give the translators a day to get the subs up. YouTube will have them broken up by match, Twitter is by person, and njpwworld is all of them in one long ass video. Be warned: some people might do A Bit during the whole tour. Kenta absolutely totally didn't shill his book. ELP kept eating hamburgers. Jay White had the ToJay show. You get the point. It's wild. You'll find the ones you want to watch.

Now, if you are watching live, godspeed. The air times are always on NJPW Global's Twitter account. They usually have a few time zones listed. Your best bet is to just set a clock in your clock app to Tokyo time.

If you are watching live, there are no commercial breaks so you'll need to learn where is the best place to do bio breaks. You can always just go during a match you don't care about, but there are a few key times that always will work. The first is during Naito's entrance. Second is during Shota's entrance. Both of them take at least 5 minutes to get to the ring. Another good time is leading up to the start of a Yano match. This can be hit or miss depending on his opponent, but his in-ring intro is decently long. Another good time is after a match where they fucked up the ring or removed the corner pads. It'll take the Young Lions a few minutes to put it back and you get an extra cushion of time where you can miss the entrances for the next match and be fine.

Some miscellaneous tips:

Don't fuck up your sleep for this. It'll be tempting. It's not worth it. You'll enjoy the experience better if you just put it on when you have the time after work or school. The replays go up almost immediately after it airs so if you are using the subscription, you'll have it. These are 3 hour long shows. Just watch at your pace.

The NJPW codecs are shit so the video quality will be trash on the website. There is no way around this. Sorry. You just learn to live with it.

Main events and semi-main events will always have red shoes as a ref. How will you know it's him? Well you see, he wears red shoes. (and sleeves) He's also Shota's dad, so you'll hear some drama about that.

There might be nights where wrestlers are guest commentary! It's typically a surprise who it is, but you'll get to hear some interesting voices. Generally it's the native English speakers, but it'll be interesting. If Chris Charleton is on commentary, he will do live translation. (He's the Brit)

And my final tip:

Don't post fancams, clips, gifs, or screenshots on Twitter. God works fast but TV Ashai works faster. They will take your shit down fast. It's how TDE got their og account banned. (They don't know about Tumblr and let's not alert them to it either).

Enjoy the G1!

[a-pop-of-korean]

hello i have a question about learning korean ^^

i started ( self ) studying it about two years ago but discontinued due to college and all, but now i want to pick it up again and i don't know where to start from? i know how to read and write, but i have issues reading in one go— basically i lack fluency in reading and i often stutter. is there any way to improve?

secondly, i do know some basic stuff however my vocabulary isn't vast enough. besides, i would like to understand the sentence structure, or how they write phrases and sentences since it's very different from english. i've referred to so many sites but there's always a question— do i work on vocabulary first or sentence / phrasing structure first? or do i study both of them along side?

this sounds like such a mess and it is because i'm so lost ┬┬﹏┬┬ my main goal is to understand korean shows without subtitles and i do pick up a few words and phrases here and there but there's a lot still left to learn and idk where to start from. moreover, i've noticed that the textbook korean and the one that's spoken in everyday life is way different ( this applies to almost all the languages tbh ) and i'm having a bit of a trouble trying to figure out how a native would say it?

or example, do this thing where i come up with a sentence and try to translate it just to check what it would be in korean and check in the translator to see if i'm right, and most of the time im not. whether it's about the formalities or the conjugations. basically a whole lot of issues so please if u can help ＞︿＜

Hello! If your goal is to be able to understand Korean content without subtitles, then I think self-studying grammar and vocabulary is a good idea. I know you said you already have some knowledge of Korean, so I would refer to my masterlist and start from wherever you feel appropriate. I also recommend diversifying your study material and looking at other resources on Tumblr, YouTube, and on the Internet elsewhere. There's a lot out there!

As for your second question, I think it makes more sense to study vocab and grammar at the same time. As I've said before in previous asks, I was never that disciplined with my studying, so I can't really give you concrete study techniques. I think I got where I am today by regular exposure (on top of taking Korean courses and studying abroad lol). But if you don't have those opportunities, using whatever resources on the Internet can get you far. As you get comfortable with both grammar and vocab, I recommend exposing yourself to content like webtoons in Korean and K-dramas. These will help you with your reading and listening comprehension. There are plenty of webtoons at varying levels of difficulty, and K-drama actors have clear diction that is easy to understand. Again, I don't exactly have concrete techniques for how to eventually ween yourself off of subtitles/translations (since I myself still use them), but in my experience, exposure alone is enough to at least allow me to read webtoons and watch K-dramas without relying super heavily on the translations. Consuming this content will also teach you how natural Korean is spoken by natives. I hope that makes sense!

If you're concerned about speaking, the best way to get better is to converse with others. You might not know other people who speak Korean, but you can still practice with others for free on Hilokal, where I used to teach live lessons. It's a nice, low-pressure environment that can help you get more comfortable with speaking and learn alongside other people just like you!

Also, I generally don't recommend using translators to help you learn a language, especially if you're an English speaker learning Korean. It's more useful for you to understand the meaning of the Korean itself than it is for you to get the perfect translation. Korean is especially difficult to translate into English (in my opinion), so a translator might not give you a clean, accurate, and natural translation. Unfortunately, I can't think of other ways to fact-check your sentences otherwise lol. But I think that looking at enough sample sentences will help you become better at constructing your own. And something that helped me feel more comfortable writing and speaking when I was abroad is that, even if I make minor mistakes, chances are that other people can still understand me. Maybe keeping that in mind can make the learning process a little less stressful :)

Maybe this advice isn't new for you, but I hope it was still helpful! Thanks for the question and good luck! 화이팅!