#how do his stans survive and exist in herds

[buzzdixonwriter]

Were The Beats On The Spectrum?

We make no bones of our unabashed love of the Beats here (Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg, William S. Burroughs) nor do we whitewash their many sins and shortcomings (alcoholism, drug addiction, and wife killing to name just three of many).

We can see this is part and parcel of the same matrix, an attempt to deal with the pain of life in literary / spiritual / philosophical / chemical terms.

Addiction is a form of self-medication, an attempt to kill the pain.

When the pain can be identified (a broken leg, f’r instance), then with healing th need to kill that pain is gone.

People with no spiritual / emotional / mental pain in their lives do not become addicted to drugs when the physical pain is gone.

Why then were the Beats so chemically dependent?

A big clue comes in their very name.

Before there were beatniks, before there was the Beat Generation, there were the Beats.  It’s been said -- and with no serious degree of inaccuracy -- that the Beats as a literary movement consisted of everybody in Allen Ginsberg’s address book.

Well, not literally, of course, but Ginsberg was the drum major of the movement and in no small sense was the guy who promoted the Beats to the world and (like Stan Lee) himself in the process (unlike Stan, he proved far more of a creator in his own right).

But if Ginsberg provided the mouthpiece, Kerouac gave the voice that flowed through it.

Jack Kerouac was a John Steinbeck-like character who never felt in step with the rest of the 20th Century.

A working class poet, Kerouac never connected with the country around him and restlessly set off to find what he was looking for…even if he couldn’t tell you what it was.

There are several different stories about what was meant when they said “Beat” that vary on who tells the tale and when.

The conflation with the Beatitudes is lovely and sweet, and certainly those surviving Beats turned more towards this philosophy in their later wistful wisdom, but that’s a late ret-con to the name.

Beats as in a musical sense -- i.e., those seeking the rhythm of life -- is another charming analogy and certainly fits well with the Beats’ inclination to jazz (especially the experimental kind), but again, a late addition to the mythos.

No, to understand the meaning of the term -- and the nature of the Beats themselves --  we need to look back at Kerouac’s original explanation:  They called themselves “Beats” because they felt beat down by life.

Here’s where the swaggering John Wayne types start ridiculing and finger-pointing, sneering at the Beats as “pansies and perverts.”

What the John Wayne types fail to see is that in many ways the Beats proved far more tougher and fearless as they.

It’s easy to wiggle into a predetermined mold and gain herd immunity by acting the way society expects you to act.

It’s quite a different thing to shun that easy path and to constantly question society, relentlessly examining yourself to find out what it is that’s missing from your soul, what it is you need to find or do to fill that hole.

That the Beats never found what they were looking for is a fair assessment, likewise the observation that they were far from the first to muse on this.

But what sets them apart as the cultural breakthrough is that they were the first to get mainstream society to begin seriously questioning itself.

Not all, and not nearly enough, but certainly a tipping point, a moment when the genie could not be returned to the bottle (or the hypodermic).

That dawning of awareness helped move along societal change in so many ways.

For example, it would not only be untrue but ridiculous to claim the Beat movement had any direct influence on the civil rights movement, but the fact the Beats even existed and penetrated the public consciousness even in the form of grossly inaccurate satire meant the underlying ideas of the Beats also gained some exposure.

(This is akin to what I posted earlier about how Archie Bunker, far from undermining white supremacy and bigotry, gave it a voice and validation by simply being on TV.)

But the question we’re focusing on today is this:  Were the original Beats “beat” because they fell somewhere along the autism / Asperger spectrum?

I think a positive answer can be given.  While it’s impossible to accurately diagnose someone at a distance (be it time or space), we can say whether or not they displayed traits we find today in people along the spectrum.

There’s a lot of minor evidence (their tendency to develop early idée fixes or well documented hallucinations / altered consciousness experiences before turning to drugs and alcohol, not to mention highly unconventional day-to-day lifestyles), but the big one towering over the rest is their weariness, their feeling of being “beat” down by a society they couldn’t fully grasp (and that remained hostile to the Beats’ efforts to grasp it; self-awareness is not an ally of the culturally complacent). 

I have an autistic grandson as well as friends and family members along the Asperger’s spectrum.  I see in them many of the frustrations expressed by the Beats to the confusing world they found themselves in.

The Beats were not beat through any personal failings; the Beats were beat because they were a new generation, a mutation in the human psyche (or at least the American branch of same) that moved us out of one mode of thinking and into another.

In this the Beats were like the first stage of a giant rocket: Aiming for the stars but falling back to earth, yet sending others on to complete their mission.

Does this excuse their bad behaviors, the havoc and wrecked lives they left in their wake?  

No, of course not…

…but it does explain them.

Trapped without context in a world they couldn’t fit in, unable to adequately articulate their own longings, the Beats did the best they could, creating a new language and vocabulary and syntax, one that those who came after them could use as a foundation to build on.

And let’s not be unfair: While there had been previous expressions of the Beats’ longings (everyone from Diogenes to Thoreau to the original California nature boys of the late 19th / early 20 centuries), and while there were certainly other movements in the political and cultural spheres that acted like force multipliers for them, the beats toppled the first domino that lead to the Beat generation (i.e., those who were seized by the writings and ideas and imaginations of the original beats) to the beatniks (a borderline imitative-near-satirical movement based on Beat Generation influence) to the hippies (basically the beatniks with better clothes and drugs but no irony, totally buying into the Beats’ vibe though three generations removed) to the yippies (those peace & love types who took actual steps to bring it about) to the progressives and hipsters of today.

(And, yes, we would be remiss to not point out many 1967 hippies were really “plastics” i.e., phonies & hypocrites who liked playing hippie and getting stoned and / or laid on weekends then working 9-5 M-thru-F, phonies & hypocrites who as soon as the Vietnam War ended and they no longer faced the draft immediately dropped every altruistic and egalitarian value genuine hippies embraced to become cocaine snorting disco yuppies, and how those rat bastards made Reagan not only possible but downright inevitable and how their selfish “me-me-me-gimme all!” attitude fucked over the entire planet, culminating in the worthless sac of human excrement currently squatting in the White House, but chill, there’s a happy ending, the old Beat movement never really died, never really went away, and there’s a lot more progressives now sharing those ideals and visions and it ain’t gonna be easy, lord knows, but it ain’t impossible, either.)

Jack and Allen and Bill are like Moses of old: Lost and wandering for ages, finally catching a glimpse of the far distant Promised land, watching from the mountaintop as the generations they inspired move forth the embrace it.

  © Buzz Dixon

[thecomicsnexus]

SWAMP THING #37-39 JUNE - AUGUST 1985 BY ALAN MOORE, RICK VEITCH, JOHN TOTLEBEN, STAN WOCH, STEVE BISSETTE AND TATJANA WOOD

SYNOPSIS (FROM DC DATABASE)

John Constantine is an occult investigator from England. He learns that something large is set to occur in the world of the supernatural and sets about learning all he can about it. But his search proves frustrating as he moves among his contacts. No one has a great deal of information for him, but to say that "He's coming back". One source thinks that he is a living black hole. Another believes that it is the old one, Cthulhu. An old nun even believes it to be Satan. The only thing his contacts appear to agree on is that the entity's arrival should take place in about twelve months.

Meanwhile, Abby has been slowly helping to nurse the Swamp Thing back to health. A mere bud of an entity, she has been treating the diminutive plant with water and pesticides. It is an excruciatingly slow process and over the course of days, He regains only half of his overall strength at this point. Day by day he's growing more parts of himself.

John Constantine is in the apartment of Emma (New Earth) who he departs with after waking up to go find Swamp Thing.

He eventually finds Abby and the Swamp Thing. He chides the Swamp Thing for his ignorance and informs him that he is the last remaining plant elemental. He has the ability to extend his essence through any vegetative matter – with the ability to instantly teleport nearly any place he chooses to on Earth. Desperate to know more, the Swamp Thing pleads with Constantine to stay and tell him what he knows. Claiming that he has other places to be, John leaves them, but before he does, he admits that he plans to be in Rosewood, just outside Chicago, in a week's time, and that he would explain more if they were to meet there.

Meanwhile, Emma instinctively draws a terrible picture of a disfigured man. The being, known as an Invunche, comes to life and the terror-stricken artist pitches herself through her studio window to her death. There's also a montage of a few other evil acts from the other contacts that Constantine encountered.

Back in Houma, Swamp Thing seems to have completely regrown, and is pondering. Abby half jokening brings up the prospect of a honeymoon for them, since their "communion" in the issue Rites of Spring. He is vaguely recalling the name "Rosewood," and he is too wrapped-up in that train of thought to pay any mind to Abby's "honeymoon" proposal.

In Rosewood, Illinois, a group of boys swim in a pond, despite their parents' warnings. Suddenly, the boys realize that the pond is infested with leeches, and they all rush out except Nicky, who has grown unnaturally pale. Just below the surface, vampiric creatures have drained him of all of his blood. The boys are too afraid to go back into the water for him, and they run away. The vampires return to their homes, deep under the water in old Rosewood, the sunken town.

Elsewhere, Abby Holland and the Swamp Thing reluctantly part ways, as he decides to take Constantine's bait, and go to the town of Rosewood, Illinois. Upon Constantine's hinting, he attempts to transport himself there by regrowing himself through the Earth, to the new location. As he concentrates on getting there, he recalls that he had been there once before, and that the town had been corrupted so deeply by a dark presence that the Swamp Thing had cleansed the town by exploding the dam. He mentally locates a small seed in Rosewood, and uses it to begin regrowing himself there. He immediately thinks of Abby.

Abby, meanwhile is talking with one of her teacher co-workers. She's lost in thought thinking of Swamp Thing and her friend, Deanna, chastises her for not paying attention to her. Abby apologies and tell Deanna that she was thinking about someone, and Deanna shoots back "...You're going to have to face facts...your husband's a vegetable". She of course is speaking of her literal husband who is in a coma still, but also unknowingly referring to Swamp Thing.

Constantine is in Chicago, at a bar, and he's just learned that the girl he was with previously in the last issue, tossed herself from her studio apartment. It's reported as suicide, but as shown in the prior issue, she was chased out by a demon.

Eventually, the boys decide not to go back for Nicky, or tell anyone what they saw. All of them leave except for Howard, who returns to the water alone determined to try to rescue his friend. At the same time, the vampires prepare the creature they call the Mother for a mating ritual. This massive creature once known as Charlene – a supermarket worker in Rosewood who once worried about her pimples and marriage prospects – now has an integral part to play in the vampires' conquest on land.

Swamp Thing regrows a new body in Rosewood successfully. He notes that after his 'death' by Nukeface which took him weeks to respawn himself, now took him a matter of hours and with no "hang over". When he is complete he is met there by Constantine, who warns that some of the vampires that were drowned out two years before had survived, and formed an underwater community. When the flood of Rosewood took place, a few where inside an airtight refrigerator unit in a supermarket. They were already bitten, but were hiding out from others. The gate was opened, and the flood washed away everything else, but they survived. Here, they found refuge from the harmful sunlight as well as from humans who might kill them. Constantine further explains that the virus that causes vampirism is anaerobic; oxygen can be a harmful substance to them. He bargains that he will reveal Swamp Thing's nature to him if he will deal with the vampires in the water. Annoyed, Swamp Thing begins walking into the water.

As Howard returns to the pond, Nicky appears to be alive, and demands that they go swimming again. It becomes clear that Nicky has become a vampire himself, and Howard is swarmed by Nicky's new companions. The Mother gives birth to many, many eggs, which soon begin to hatch. Both she and her mate descend into the dark waters and – their bodies torn apart after breeding – begin to decompose and die as the oxygenated water flows through their bodies.

After the boys Nicky and Howard don't come home overnight, their parents interrogate their friend Bill for information. Eventually, all of the parents decide to go out to Rosewood and find them.

Swamp Thing encounters the vampires in the sunken town of Rosewood, and when they discover that he has no blood, they begin to herd him toward the site of the “nativity,” the old stadium, which is full of eggs. Swamp Thing watches in horror as the eggs hatch, and the newborn creatures devour each other until only one remains – a giant fish-like vampire which attacks and destroys his body.

Meanwhile, the parents discover Nicky and Howard at the water's edge. Nicky, now a vampire, lures his own mother to them, and then drains her of her blood. Soon after, his father is devoured by the fish-creature, along with Bill's father. The remaining parents grab Howard and drive away in horror.

Swamp thing allows his body to die once more, and then rebirths, this time ever quicker. He then stretches his consciousness out across The Green. He gathers his energies and becomes one with the land, adjusting the terrain so that the water within the lake begins flowing again – right into the river that birthed it. The vampires residing in the lake cannot survive running water, and they die as their flesh is torn off their skeletons. This is a rather significant leap from the powers we've seen him display previously. He is learning more and more to wield the power that he has available to him.

Later, Swamp Thing encounters John Constantine in the ruins of the now drained town of Rosewood. Astonishingly, the Swamp thing is able to perform a complete body regeneration in only fifty-one seconds, suggesting that he has already learned much about himself and his abilities due to his association with John Constantine. John expresses his disappointment that the outcome of their endeavor has caused word to spread supporting the existence of vampires. This plays right into the hands of those responsible; it helps create the "right sort of atmosphere" to allow their plan to come into fruition. After he offers this cryptic warning – which is consistent with the theory Emma shared with him shortly before she died – he asks that they meet again in Kennescook, Maine in two weeks. They then part ways.

REVIEW

First official appearance of John Constantine. He is supposed to look just like Sting in 1985, let’s compare...

Yeah, I guess he looks like him.

Anyway, this story is really important because it’s the moment Swamp Thing learns how to “regrown” anywhere around the planet. We are also starting to understand what Moore was hinting back when Abel was explaining why the world needed an avatar of the Green right now.

This story also acknowledges the Crisis. Unusual for most books during this period of Crisis on Infinite Earths (most tie-ins seem to be in 1986, including official Swamp Thing tie-ins).

Moore has a way with words that works perfectly in a comic-book. With a lot of ironies, and twists. And the images complement the words very well. This is what comic-books should be. An engaging medium that forces you to process words and images at the same time, at your own speed, both adding something to the final product that on their own wouldn’t be good enough. Moore goes beyond justifying why these characters are in these stories. He is pretty much justifying these stories happening in comic-books.

Of course there are other writers and creative teams that managed to do the exact same thing, but here, considering other books coming out at the time, it’s astonishing.

And boy, this is real horror.

I give this story a score of 10 

[queennicoleinboots]

I Gave Birth To A Big Bear

A/N: After BREAKING NEWS: EMERGENCY BROADCAST

I was still eating my bowls of ice cream. Darth Parker just finished his. Zachary Giraffinakis cleared the cache on our server to get rid of unnecessary temporary files. Stan Doe was letting the pie download as he returned to the server. King Bruce Ice was adjusting his set. Prince Peter was doing sound tests. Meanwhile, Prince Banana had disconnected from the server. I assumed he was just there for the ice cream program.

"I'm sorry, but I'm still not ready for my broadcast. Is anyone else able to do a broadcast?" Darth Parker asked in his deep Southern voice as he was having sound difficulties.

"Hang on, dark Prince. Let me ask if anyone has news," Milk Drama Llama Bomma Mama chrissy said quickly.

"I'll be glad to help," Found Sheep as he joined the server.

"Oh thank you, Found Sheep," Milk Drama Llama Bomma Mama chrissy said. "Please take the floor."

"Thank you," Found Sheep said. He cleared his throat before he spoke again. "Hello everyone, I'm Found Sheep. I want to tell you a dream I had about an agitator who was trying to push the (encrypted voice done by Milk Mama Chrissy, Encrypting Genius saying, "Biometric signature") onto us. It's barbaric. I was being chased by men in white lab coats that were singing Hakuna Mutata as they were running with scissors. Other people were getting agitated because they were being herded like wolves into a grocery store and were told to stand ten feet apart while trying to run at the same time. They would listen if they were told to wear a pair of pants on their faces. It was madness, but I ran with humility to the Lord. I wasn't going and still not going to obey the government and man. I am not going to promote it. Do you want to be part of Revelation Chapter 13? Do you want to be part of enforcing the (encrypted voice done by Milk Mama Chrissy, Encrypting Genius saying, "Biometric signature")? Is this world really worth holding on to enough to sacrifice who you are? Look at the future. It's time to say enough is enough. Pick up your cross and follow the Lord! Go to Matthew 10. I am a sheep among the wolves. Do not get pulled into the agitation. Don't let the world consume you. The wolves are devouring without sight. I do not trust anyone part of any authoritative organization. They have to sign certain oaths against the Lord. And they hate people like us. And it's hard for us. But we need to be strong. Teach others instead of preaching to them. Show them the joy of our Lord in the natural world. Show the Lord thanks. The future generation is a blessing. Teach it correctly. Tell it that the only thing you must fear is the Lord. Unfortunately, families will fight among each other because they haven't grown a relationship with the Lord. But you can overcome that. Trust in our Lord."

"Thank you, Found Sheep. The Planetary Broadcasting Corporation only tells the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We are not funded by anyone other than those who donate to us. We are not bought and sold by Chinta, China, or any other embassy. We want to gain your trust," Milk Drama Llama Bomma Mama chrissy said.

"I greatly appreciate you having me on tonight. But please remember my message tonight. It is very important to stay strong. That's why I'm here tonight. I know many viewers are struggling, even the preppers. Please trust in the Lord. You cannot survive this plandemic alone. I meant what I said. Plandemic. Preppers out there, please read the book of Revelation," Found Sheep said as he stared at the camera.

"Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt your broadcast, but Queen Xara's apple pie is done," Stan Doe said as he downloaded the apple pie onto my server.

"Go ahead. Be thankful for your apple pie, Queen Xara. The Lord gives that to you to nourish your baby," Found Sheep said to me.

"Always, Found Sheep. Your voice and words move me. You are a faithful servant," I said. "Speaking of, anyone heard from Hope Omens lately?"

"Yes. She is doing fine. She sings a lot and isn't really into talking about the heavy-hitting stuff like Pastor Penn and I are. But she is still sending hopeful messages to everyone. She's a sweet woman," Found Sheep said.

"Yeah. I haven't really watched her much. I'm more interested in the world news and how it relates to the Bible, which Found Sheep and Pastor Penn talk about," King Joebear said.

"Yes. She seems like a nice lady, but I can't stand musicals. They're absolutely dreadful," Milk Drama Llama Bomma Mama chrissy said.

"EXCUSE THE INTERRUPTION, BUT IT IS BULLSHIT THAT THE PLAGUE HAS HIT THE NEWS STATION!" Chef Rogue Fromage shouted as he was trying to download macaroni and cheese to everyone's server. "Milk Drama Llama Bomma Romma Mama Chrissy and I had an appointment! Now I have to wait two fucking weeks! THIS IS MADNESS!!!!! THIS IS PARIS!!!!" He was trying to make a reference to "This is Sparta!"

Stan Doe chuckled and downloaded my pie to me. I thanked him and downloading it into my stomach. I was starving even after ten bowls of ice cream. What is this freak baby?!

"Yes. Musicals should be illegal," King Bruce Ice said. "And the Plague is bullshit. I'm sure you were looking forward to that appointment, great chef."

"I hate musicals. I hate musicals. I hate musicals. I hate musicals. I hate musicals. I hate musicals. I hate musicals. I hate musicals. I hate musicals," Count Vanilla said.

"I WASSSSSS!!!!" Chef Rogue Fromage shouted loudly into our servers, which caused ear rape to occur to all of us.

"Musicals suck! Whoever invented them is an idiot! AND THIS PLAGUE SUCKS! AND MY CONNECTION SUCKS!" Prince Banana shouted as loudly as Tyler1 gets as he appeared on his screen and started beating something with a banana hammer.

Maxwell Ice, Prince Banana's black and white apple head chihuahua, was wearing a small white space helmet and curling up against the corner of the backseat window on the passenger side. His eyes were pressed against the helmet.

I looked at him. "Hi Prince Banana," I said as I waved and started laughing.

Prince Banana screamed at me as he tried to mesh his molecules with the batmobile. "Hi Queen Xara. How's the baby?!" he asked as his video connection was shotty.

"Hungry," I said.

"I say, what the hell is wrong with you, Prince Banana? Screaming isn't going to help her baby exist," Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets said.

"Indeed. That was asinine. Wait until the baby is born and well-rested. Then you can scream for ice cream all you want," Milk Drama Llama Bomma Roma Mama chrissy said.

"Sorry... y-y-yeah, I's hungry. That's why I screamed. Really," Prince Banana said as his video was choppy and the sound quality cut in and out.

"Bullshit!" King Bruce Ice coughed.

Everyone except Joebear screamed loudly. Even the cast of PeeWee Herman, Macrula, George Carlin, Ronald McDonald, Pennywise the Dancing Clown, the Bernstein Bears, Tyler1, DarthSydePhineas, Chuckee Queso, Victoria Filetmignon, Francesca Asiago Cheese, Queen Gloria, King Skipper, Johnnio Ice, Kavana Ice, Maxwell Ice, and De of Sean screamed. I even did a virus scan on my virtual pie to make sure that it was not infected with The Plague.

"Will everyone calm the fuck down? I don't have the Plague! Do I?" King Bruce Ice said as he did a virus scan on his computer. "All of this news mania has driven all of you mother fuckers crazy. And I'm starting to go insane. But I am not getting a traditional COVID test. Those swabs have carcinogens in them. Fuck that!"

"I agree, but I wouldn't use that kind of language," Found Sheep said. "When I was Lost Sheep, I spoke fluent cockney." He giggled. "Sorry for screaming like that. I was concerned for your health there."

Milk Drama Llama Bomma Roma Mama chrissy giggled.

"Soooo.... anyway... does anyone like... STUFF?!" Darth Parker asked with his trademark deep Southern voice and deep breathing.

"I love stuff. It's my favorite. Really. Darth Parker, you certainly know and understand what a woman likes," Milk Drama Llama Bomma Roma Mama chrissy said as she melted before the camera. She was staring at him with her tongue halfway out.

Stan Doe chuckled.

And my water broke right after my last bite of supposedly uninfected pie... and my room was flooding. My signal was going out.

"Uhhhhhhh.... sorry.... my water is broken," I was floating in my room.

"OH SHIT! OPEN YOUR BEDROOM DOOR!" King Joebear shouted.

"H-hang on, B-B-Bae! I'm opening the door now," I said as I swam to the door and opened it. At this point, my computer was functioning under water. And then I got sucked into virtual reality.

Zachary Giraffinakis screamed as he swam away from me in the digital world.

"Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. We're all going to get the Plague if you don't open up the drain program!" Count Vanilla shouted as he swam through my water.

Oh I'm sorry...

"I'm trying! The son of a bitch is hard to op-" Zachary Giraffinakis said as he successfully opened the drain program. Most of the news crew and the anchors went down the drain to another reality.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"What the fucking hell?!" Queen Megara Ice asked as she was at the bottom of my feet. Water was flowing out from under me like a waterfall. "Whose water breaks like that?!"

"I don't know, but it's fuuuuuuckkked up," King Bruce Ice said as he swam through my water with a blue scuba diving suit.

"Holy Shit! That's newsworthy!" Captain Slammer said as he hovered over everyone in an outfit similar to a gothic spiderman.

Prince Banana Ice screamed loudly through an intercom system in his batmobile that he and Maxwell Ice were flying around in.

King Joebear waddled out of the river where my water flowed and shook himself off. "Yep. That happened," he said.

"It happened. It happened. It happened. It happened. It happened. It happened. It happened. It happened. It happened," Count Vanilla said as he washed up on the ground and wrung his cape out.

"Owwwww!!!!" I shouted as I was randomly being transported to a new reality.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Mom! Are you okay?" Stan Doe asked as he showed his face on my computer screen.

"Not really. I have gone through this six times, but it never gets easier," I said as I leaned against the computer desk and put my hands on top of my head while I stared blankly at my keyboard.

"Please breathe, Queen Xara," Milk Drama Llama Bomma Roma Mama chrissy said as she was on a split screen with Stan Doe.

I was breathing, even without a space helmet. OH MY GOSH, WHY AM I NOT WEARING A SPACE HELMET?! WHAT REALITY AM I IN?! My baby was hurting me and was angry that I was not wearing a space helmet.

King Joebear, Count Vanilla, King Bruce Ice, Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets, and Darth Parker all got on split screens to support me through my birthgiving.

Master and Prince Banana also joined the split screen.

"Guys, he's ready to come out. This baby is definitely a boy," I said weakly as I blankly looked at all of their sweet heads.

Queen Megara Ice and Queen Gloria then programmed themselves onto my computer screen before they pulled me into it. They put blankets down for me to lay on. The men laid me down gently. Count Vanilla and Steve Doe took my shoes off. Milk Drama Llama Bomma Roma Mama chrissy lifted my nightgown. King Joebear unbuttoned my jean shorts and pulled them down. Darth Parker quickly pulled my white underwear down.

Once my bottom garments were removed, I put my knees in the air and feet flat on the floor. The baby was coming out whether I wanted him to or not. I screamed because the bear was literally swimming out of my uterus.

"Breathe. Breathe. The Plague doesn't exist," Milk Drama Llama Bomma Roma Mama chrissy said.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Then I transferred all the way back to August 29, 2011, when I was only 22 years old.

Nurse Chrissy was telling me jokes to calm me down because this baby was really hurting me as it tried to come out.

I laughed and peed myself on accident. The baby's head was making its way out of my vagina.

"Holy Fuck a hurricane is coming! We need to evacuate!" Captain Slammer shouted as he ran through the hospital halls and wearing black scrubs and a stethoscope around his neck.

"Haste. Haste. Everything haste. Counter. Counter. Uggghhhh. Ughhhhhgg.," a black cub with brown eyes and a dainty golden crown shouted as he helped Peter W. Parker, my 12-year-old black son named Stan, and a brown cub with bluish green eyes and a large golden crown wrap me in a blanket.

"Oh shit! I'm staying in here until it's safe," the baby from my vagina said.

"Haha. That bear is definitely going to be named Parker," the prince black cub said as he ran with everyone to a OB-GYN room on high ground.

"What will his middle name?" the king brown cub asked as he ran inside the OB-GYN unit with the rest of us.

"What's your name?!" I shouted as my baby was clawing my insides out.

"Bruce," the king brown cub answered.

"My name is Parker Bruce Campinelli!!!!!" the baby yelled inside of my vagina. "And my head is staying here until we get to safety!"

"Close the damn door and bolt it, Zachary Giraffinakis!" Nurse Chrissy shouted to her assistant. "Also Parker Bruce Campinelli. It's a perfect name. It has the same initials as this hospital, Princeton Baby Carefacility!"

"It's a perfect name! Hey wind, CAN I CLOSE THE DOOR?!" Zachary Giraffinakis shouted as he tried shutting the door that was being blown open by the wind that rushed through the hall.

"Nope, but I can," Captain Slammer said as he helped Zachary Giraffinakis shut the door. Then he bolted it and used a rope to tie it closed.

"Ahhh... what a great time for my shoes to get a hole in them!" a brown cub with brownish hazel eyes who wore a small golden crown and black scrubs yelled as he tore a hole in each shoe.

"Move, Nurse Bananas!" King Bruce shouted as he, the black cub, Peter W. Parker, and Stan tried to get me in the closet.

"Sorry!" Nurse Bananas said as he skillfully rolled out of the way. I could have sworn he knew martial arts.

A beautiful female grayish brown bear with brownish hazel eyes and an intricate silver crown opened the closet door and looked at us in alarm. "Allez! Allez! Allez!" she shouted at us. She then laid down another blanket for me go lay on. I must note that the OB-GYN unit had a working TV, working paging system, working toilet, and a Christmas tree inside of it.

The black cub, King Bruce, Peter W. Parker, and Stan laid me down.

"Is it safe yet?!" Parker Bruce Campinelli asked.

"Hell no. Wait for everyone to get their ASSES in the room!!!" King Bruce yelled as he growled.

The OB-GYN nurses, a dark brown sheep with easy brown eyes, Nurse Bananas, Prince Oliver, a gray cub with brown eyes covered with round-framed glasses sitting in a wheelchair, Nurse Chrissy, Nursing Assistant Zachary Giraffinakis, a female red cub with green eyes who wore a golden crown, Princess Peepers - a white cat with a gold eye and a blue eye, Princess Annabelle - a gray tabby cat with green eyes, Ronald McDonald, Pennywise the Dancing Clown, Master, and Captain Slammer filed in the OB-GYN room.

Captain Slammer then braced his shield against the door.

"Now is it safe?" Peter Bruce Campinelli asked.

"I think so. We adverted Hurricane Idiot. OWWWW!!!! OWWWWWW!!!!" I screamed as I pushed him.

"Weeeeeee!!!!!!" Parker Bruce Campinelli shouted as he flew out of my vagina.

"Aaaahahahshhhhhhaaahhhhhhh!!!!" I shouted.

The hurricane winds whipped at the door.

"INCOMING!!!!!" Captain Slammer shouted.

The hurricane then washed down the whole hospital, and my body exploded from giving birth to a big bear. Parker Bruce Campinelli was almost full grown.

Thank Goodness that the other five cubs existed in an alternate reality and time-space continuum and were largely unaffected by Hurricane Idiot.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The Boom server had Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets wearing his black space helmet, Count Vanilla wearing a black cloak and his Trumpy Bear mask, and King Joebear wearing a gold crown.

Then, Prince Parker Bruce Campinelli, a nine-foot-tall black bear with kaleidoscopic eyes with green, yellow, and brown in them, joined the server. Prince Peter Bruce Campinelli was a beautiful big black bear who wore a gold and silver crown, a large white cloth diaper, and black rocket shoes.

Stan Doe still sported his gray suit, white button-down shirt, and red tie as he rejoined the server. King Bruce Ice joined the server at the same time Darth Parker did. Prince Banana joined the server with a decent connection and wore a black space suit. Princess Kissy and Princess Oreo were laying their fat asses on their screens when they joined the server.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" Milk Drama Llama Bomma Roma Mama chrissy shouted at max volume and raped our ears.

"I have no fucking idea. I just JOINED," Captain Slammer said as he was surfing the waves of Hurricane Idiot on his shield and holding a black umbrella above his head on the other screen.

The rest of us laughed and shrugged.

"We seem to have been sucked into yet another alternate reality. It seems the fabric of reality is becoming more blurred as this quote-unquote Plague progresses," Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets spoke.

"These worlds are just too much. I now have six cubs," King Joebear said. "And I couldn't be happier."

"Yep. I am proud to have Prince Parker Bruce Campinelli and Stan Doe. I love my other five cubs: Lucy, Adam, Eve, Paddington Joe, and Pooh as well. And my adopted cub, Count Vanilla," I said.

Count Vanilla growled proudly nine times.

"Thank you, but I really don't know what the hell is going on," he said with a shrug and chuckle.

"I am glad to finally be born, mother Queen Xara. I have waited two years for this moment. Mark the date, August 31, 2021. I'm a virgo," Prince Parker Bruce Campinelli said.

"I am glad you are here, brother PBC," Stan Doe spoke ethereally.

Princess Kissy licked herself on camera.

"Thank you. I am honored to be your brother, Stan Campinelli," Prince Parker Bruce Campinelli said.

"I am not Stan Campinelli," Stan Doe said.

"Correct. Stan is not my child," King Joebear said. "But he is your mother's child."

"So who's the father?" Prince Parker Bruce Campinelli asked.

"I am not allowed to disclose that information on any public media," Stan Doe said.

"That's why he is called Stan Doe, Prince Parker Bruce Campinelli," I said.

"Well, in that case, I am honored to be your brother, Stan Doe," Prince Parker Bruce Campinelli said.

King Joebear made a sound like a seal.

"What the hell was that?!" Darth Parker asked in a deep Southern accent.

"It just happened. I can't give you an answer," King Joebear said.

"Sounds about right! Either way, I am proud of the birth of Prince Parker Bruce Campinelli," King Bruce Ice said. "We'll call him Prince PBC for short."

"So my children are Princess Lucy, Prince Adam, Princess Eve, Prince Paddington Joe, Prince Pooh, Prince Stan Doe, and Prince PBC," I said.

"Prince? When did this happen?" Prince Stan Doe asked.

"Just now," I said. "I decree it!"

"IT SHALL BE HONORED!" Milk Drama Llama Bomma Roma Mama chrissy shouted.

The other random members of the server cheered.

"Thank you," Prince Stan Doe said as he sniffled with tears of joy.

"You're welcome," I said.

[oohaw94]

Mind if we have a discussion?

It has been awhile since I have posted anything original here on Tumblr but today is that day!

Most people know I do not talk about my father much. In my opinion it's hard to be super proud of a guy who gave his son multiple concussions and bloody noses between the years of 8,9 and 10 in the course of disciplining him mostly for trivial things. With that said, he did give me two things that I have carried forward in life. Number one: An appreciation for the sport of baseball which bloomed into a full-fledged obsession with softball later in life. Number two: He told me, no matter how smart you think you are, there is ALWAYS someone who knows more.

The second one more so than the first is especially important I think. Don't get me wrong, softball is a good time and my only real form of exercise these days but that second one has so many more applications. Any one who has a social media account has been exposed or over-exposed to the opinions of those around them. There is an old adage about the corrolation between opinions and a certain part of the lower human anatomy that notes everyone has both and they both stink. So for what it is worth, I don't mind hearing other people's opinions. Unfortunately, everyone is so caught up in having to be right all the time because to be wrong means being shunned by the herd and having to live in exile with leperous wildebeasts for the remainder of your days apparently.

I'm not scared to be wrong or to fail. Some of the most fundamental learning comes from being wrong. When I was 10 or 11, I had a bike. Nothing fancy, just a red bike with handle bars, a seat, hand brakes and two tires. I got pretty cocky when riding the trails around our house in Dittmer, MO. Popping over logs and anticipating the slide of a hill rounding into the turn of each trail and such. But one fall day when the leaves were off the trees and clogging the trails, I took off pedaling into the woods. In the trees there were birds and squirrels noting my progress but keeping their distance. I got to a section of trail that I had not ridden in awhile. In addition to the leaves, there were branches downed from summer storms and overgrown dead weeds. Being young and feeling invincible, I proceeded through the section without clearing the debris first. Most of the branches were rotten and the weeds posed no real impedence so I crunched my way through easily. Farther along the trail was more of the same with this part being a bit more of a downhill incline. So I puffed out my chest (not really) and flew along with high confidence. This is where the universe put down the magazine it was flipping through and was like: let me give you a tiny life lesson right now.

Up to this point in the ride, I was getting by even though a few of the decisions were questionable. Halfway down the incline I jounced over a not so rotten branch that flicked up an unseen string of rusted barbed wire that caught on my shoe lace. The next few seconds saw me go flying diagonally over the handle bars and land on some rough gravelly ground, shoulder and face first. My takeaways from the experience: #1 OUCH. #2 Picking gravel out of your chin is not a great feeling. #3 I should've known better.

What is the point of this tidbit from my youth? Simple, use your brain. I knew that riding over the branches and whatnot on the flat ground had caused some unplanned movement and a few precarious seconds where I was not in control. But from the outcome, I learned to avoid making that same mistake again. Was it a dumba$$ moment on my part? Sure. I didn't learn that from a book, I learned from the experience. Also I could've probably got there by using some common sense but hindsight as they say is 20/20.

In my life I have met and interacted with many, many people. Some only in a virtual context but still a large portion have been in person. Through these conversations and sharing of words and ideas I have gotten different perspectives and opinions thrust upon me. Some clinically presented and some passionately expressed in ALL CAPS! Not every one who has made an opposing point or argument to me has changed my opinion on a topic. But, actually listening to them, I got at least a sense of where they garnered their information from and how invested they were in the idea(s) expressed. Most people lock into their beliefs (non-religious) on politics, sports, traffic, certain types of jobs, ethnic groups, books, social media, divorce, etc and there is no budging them. Which is fine. They have collected the pertinent information to support why they are pro or anti on each. And here's a little secret that most people should know but don't. You aren't going to change their minds. Simply put you are not. Through reading, social contact or experience those things are locked down and will not be swayed in their minds. So save your breath or typing.

I am not saying I'm better than anyone. I'm just not. Am I more receptive? Perhaps. But the whole concept of being better than someone is pompous and ludacris. Put me on a dessert island and I could probably survive but in the end I'm probably closer to the character Tom Hanks portrayed in Castaway: scruffy and looking a little caveman-ish. Take someone else to that same island and they probably pimp that (stuff) out. Build themselves a log cabin with a natural jaccuzzi. Make a little alley for coconut skeeball or bowling. Now tying this back to what my father was saying: everyone has blind spots in their knowledge, places where their pool of knowledge is as deep as an $8 kiddie pool at Walmart. There is no one alive roaming this Earth or that has ever roamed this Earth who knows everything. Think you are the ultimate authority on Superman...guess what someone else knows more (see Stan Lee). Think you know every single element related to the Star Trek universe...nope, try again. You can solve a Rubik's Cube in 13 seconds? Someone knows how to do it in 10 seconds. But in those same scenarios the Superman expert may not be able to hang and mud a roomful of drywall. The Star Trekkie could be lost trying to make lasgna from scratch. And the Robik's Cube master would most likely would not be able to throw a knuckleball. With this on the table, let's all take a collective breath and listen to what the other person has to say with an open mind. No one should be asking anyone to mindlessly bow to anyone person's belief structure or logic process. In truth it may flat out be wrong for the other person based on home life, religion, diet, conditioning and pet preference.

Through my friends and family I've learned how to love, to hate, to be compassionate, to empathize, to betray, to be selfish, to be selfless and most of all how to stay humble. I do not see myself achieving the pinnacle of any given field or being the yardstick of what a softball player should be. However, by using my logical process, life experiences and Google, I think I can at least come across as not a totally floundering moron (most days). People tend to take themselves waaaaaay too seriously. Not everything in today's existence is a competition or life and death for that matter. If more people would allow their ideas to be questioned, I think they would grow more as a person. As a personal philosophy, I try to learn something new every day. It may be insignificant, it may be something taught to me by a child but learning keeps life interesting. Otherwise you are stuck listening to the same Hair Metal hits of the 80's. Don't get me wrong, there are some great songs there but if that is the only pool of music you draw from then over time those songs will grow stale and even those will lose their fun qualities.

Now, try to hop on one foot for a minute with your eyes closed. Google your last name and read the 31st search entry. Memorize the entire emsemble of a person you saw on lunch. Count the parking spaces at Kohl's. Think of how many Adele songs are actually good (spoiler alert: zero). Google map the cities you have traveled to and see which one is farthest. Walk into a business, pose like a superhero for four seconds then turn around and walk out. Ask a friend to name something they associate with you. Say "Taco Cat" forwards and backwards several times and then try to figure out if you ended up with the forwards or backwards format.

Through the silly we can relax and allow ourselves to be open to new ideas and learn new things. I'm not saying a joke or a comedian's bit will lead to us building a walking bridge to the moon, but someone else's bit of logic or OCD process may inspire a leap in a new direction. So for everyone calling down the Hellfire and brimstrone for the Trump supporters or the people who feel personally oppressed by a cartoon indian or are just offended by the sun coming up: I say chill. Others are entitled to their opinions and at the end of the day that's mostly what it boils down to - opinions. Save your expert witnesses, your filing cabinets of documents and the YouTube clip of Jesus backing your point of view. If you are not willing to allow the other person  an open, non-hostile forum to discuss and probably eventually break off the conversation without recrimminations, then why bother?

The world as we know it will still continue to evolve. The iPhone 7 world as we know it is not the finished product. Great minds around the world will continue to shape it and lead the human race in directions no one has even dreamed of yet. Just wait and see. And those people who are leading, are doing so based on being open to new ideas and asking, "OK. What if..."

Everyone have a fantastic day. Please read my Blog (Wordpress: Scott Latta Blog), find me on Twitter (@oohaw94), follow along on Facebook (Scott.Latta.7), listen to me and two of my softball friends on Podbean (SportsStalkers) and my own little stupid niche of butthurt on Podbean as well (scottlatta). If you would like drop me an email to: scottlatta@gmail.com.

Peace.

[sopostedpicks-blog]

The Top 50 Inspirational Movies

http://www.soposted.com/zing/life/top-50-inspirational-movies/

This is my list of the movies that inspire me the most. I am a movieholic and hope you guys find inspiration from this list. Enjoy the show

1. PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS- A rages to riches story about a man who goes for his dreams and wont let his circumances get in the way

2. Remember The Titans- In the 1970S a black and white high school are closed down and blacks and whites are mixed together. Throughout all the racial tension a black coach is chosen to head the newly segregated football team

3. FOREST GUMP- The story of a man with a low IQ who rose above his challenges, and proved that determination, courage, and love are more important than intellectual ability

4. THE COLOR PURPLE-Its based on the life and trials and tribulations of an African American woman in the early 1900’s

5. RUDY: A big football fan who always had the dream to play for the Notre Dame football team. He is told he is too small for the game but he perseves on

6. ALI-Based on the true story of great boxing champion Muhammad Ali

7. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL-It’s the story of a funny and careful Jewish man who uses his comic talent to protect his son from the realities of Nazi occupation

8. BRAVEHEART-Story of William Wallace a peasant who unites the 13th Century Scottish in their battle to overthrow the English rule.

9. ERIN BROKONVICH- About an unemployed single mother who becomes a legal assistant and almost on her own brings down a California power company accused of polluting a city’s water supply.

10. THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION- Two men in prison bond over a number of years, they find temporary redemption through acts of decency.

11. REDEMPTION: The Stan Tookie Williams Story- About the founder of the street gang the crepes and how in prison he found redemption. On death row he is able to find redemption

12. THE HURRICANE- The story of a talented boxer who is wrongly convicted of murder and his fight for his innocence

13. Billy Elliot- A young boy decides to become a ballet dancer and he gets some resistance from his family. He faces many trials as well triumphs as he persevere to change his family’s narrow mindset ways, inner conflict, and standing on his own feet

14. A BEAUTIFUL MIND-A bio of the rise of John Forbes Nash Jr., a math genius capable to solve problems that baffled the greatest of minds. And how he was able to overcame years of suffering from schizophrenia to win the Nobel Prize in 1994

15. GANDHI-True story about Mohandas Gandhi a prominent Indian leader

16. Chariots Of Fire-About athletes who compete in the Summer Olympics about their perseverance and triumph.

17. PHILADELPHIA- Is a movie dealing with HIV / AIDS and homosexuality and it highlights the homophobia and stigma of the two

18. FRIED GREEN TOMATOES- Its a recollection movie where an older lady recalls the story of two women their trials and tribulations and lifelong friendship

19. RAIN MAN- About a selfish man who finds out his father left his millions of dollars to an older brother he did not even know existed

20. THE NOTEBOOK- A beautiful love story which lasts decades

21. TITANIC- Is a movie set on the ill fated Titanic ship and its about a love story that develops on the ship

22. SEA BISCUIT- True story of the undersized Depression-era racehorse who victories lived not only the spirits of the team behind it but also those of their nation

23. RAY-True life story of Ray Charles and his amazing story of overcoming the impossible

24. PAY IT FORWARD- About the miraculous story of how a young boy changes the lives of many people through the simple act of good deeds

25. THE BUCKET LIST- About two old timers who decide to do all the things they have always wanted to do before they die of their terminal illnesses

26. MILK- About the life of Harvey Milk The first openly gay man elected to public office in America in the 70s. It is about his impact on the gay rights movement. One of the best movies I have ever seen.

27. Coach Carter- A basketball coach at a high school works hard to change the bad attitudes of his students.

28. RADIO- About a shy mentally challenged man who inspires a community

29. FREEDOM WRITERS- About a teacher who teachers rough inner city kids who sacrifices to make a difference in the students lives and set them on a better path

30. NORMA REA- About a mill worker in a southern textile company who stands up for the better working conditions of her workers and herself.

31. THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANK- Based on the life of Anne Frank who hides from the NAZI during the invasion

32. GLORY: The story of the first company of black soldiers in the American civil war

33. LIFE SUPPORT- the story of a mother with AIDS who overcomes crack addiction becomes an AIDS activist in her community

34. BABE- A pig which is raised by sheep dogs learns how to herd sheep

35. WHATS LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT- The amazing life story of the great entertainer Tina Turner and the amazing obstacles that she overcame

36. HOTEL RWANDA- The true life story of a man who shedered thousands of Rwandans during the Rwandan genocide from danger and death

37. G1 JANE- Is about the first woman in allowed in the naval seals and huge obstacles in her way

38. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD- Based in racially torn 1939 Alabama and its about the hearing of a black man accused of raping a white woman

39. GLORY ROAD- Is based on the true story of the first all black basketball line-up for the 1966 NCAA national basketball championship title

40. SARAFINA- About the Soweto youth riots against apartheid in South Africa

41. AMISTAD- Is about an 1839 mutiny of slaves on a slave ship

42. SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE- The story of a slum kid who grows up and plays the Indian version of Who wants to be a Millionaire

43. AMERICAN HISTORY X- A reformed Neo-Nazi comes out of prison and tries to stop his songer brother going the same path he did

44. THE PIANIST- A pianist tries to survive the Nazi invasion

45. SCHINDLERS LIST- Based on the true story of the business man Oscar Schindler who saves thousands of Jews from the Nazi machine during world war 2

46. BOYS DO NOT CRY- A story about the courage to be who you truly are in the midst of horrible opposition

47. CHOCOLAT- About a mother and daughter who move into a conservative narrow mind French town in 1960 and shake things up

48. MALCOLM X- The true life story of Malcolm X an influential black human rights activist

49. OLIVER TWIST- Based on Charles Dickens movie about a young orphan boy and the problems he finds as he tries to survive in a harsh world

50. THE JESSE OWENS STORY- The true story about Jesse Owens the African American athlete who proved Hitler wrong about the Aryan physical superiority

I love these movies. If you have not seen some of them check them out you have nothing to lose. To your life!