#how do antidepressants affect the brain

[kittenlittle24]

Runaway

Btw, gifs aren’t mine! Likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

Masterlist

You were lying on the couch, munching on a bag of potato chips and watching some stupid reality. Probably should go to sleep considering the late hour but your boyfriend’s best friend called earlier that day to you to hide all the alcohol.

You heard the lock in the front door turn, followed by the door opening and closing, the sound of keys being tossed aside before you felt the couch deep by your feet from his weight as he sat down.

Sitting up, you patted his knee before making your way to the kitchen to put away the bag.

“How was your lecture?”

Frowning, he asked, “How did you know I gave a lecture today?”

“James called to warn me,”

“Ah, so I assume he also told you I ran into Stacy today”

“He did.”

He groaned and dropped his head against the couch.

“Should I be worried?”

Closing his eyes he ignored your question.

You walked closer and crossed your arms.

“So Wilson snitched to the psychiatrist. Are you gonna give me antidepressants?”

“Do you need them?”

He opened his eyes before getting up to grab his bottle of whiskey, “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Fix me like one of your patients. Just prescribe some drugs and correct all the chemicals in my angry brain.” He accused as he opened the bottle and poured himself a generous amount.

Sighing, you dragged your hand down your face, “Greg, I am not doing this,”

Turning to the bedroom, you paused when he called, “Run away, that’s what you all do best.”

Doing a 180, you marched back, poking him in the chest, “Get in through your thick head, I am not running away. I am backing out of this fight. I am not letting your anger and self-destructive mood affect us, so I am going to bed before either one of us says something we’ll both regret.” You told him before you went to your shared bedroom and shut the door.

Tossing his drink back, he put the glass down before he sat on his piano stool. He was still angry, at Stacy for deciding about his leg, for leaving, for showing up, at Wilson for meeting her behind his back, for calling and snitching, a little at you for not fighting for him and enabling his destructive behavior, for sticking up for your relationship, but mostly at himself for everything.

Slowly standing up, he went for a second drink, pouring just as generously as the previous one before he sat down on the couch. You forgot to turn off the tv he noticed. He stayed watching for another hour or two before finally thinking he was going to hate himself even more in the morning than he already does the moment if he didn’t go to bed immediately.

Quietly entering the dark room, he approached the bed, slowly and carefully lying down. He could just barely see you with the weak moonlight from outside sneaking through the half-open blinds, he couldn’t understand why you were staying, how are you not running as far away from him as possible.

As if sensing him in your sleep, you cuddled closer, he wrapped his arm around you and kissed your temple, “You didn’t turn the TV off.” He whispered, not actually expecting you to reply. As if saying something stupid and insignificant will suffice instead of an apology.

“Love you, Greg.” You murmured against his chest which sounded more like “Ove ou, reg” as your face was buried against his body.

“Love you too.” He replied quietly to deaf ears as you were already fast asleep.

[orphicdreamers-wp]

It’s Not Christmas Without You— Quinn Hughes

Summary: Your seasonal depression gets the best of your relationship leading to an awkward Christmas

Content Warnings: Seasonal depression, panic & anxiety attacks, use of antidepressants, ocd, chemical imbalance, angsty hughes brothers

Pairing; Ex Gf! Reader x Quinn Hughes

September

You had never quite understood why your brain felt so hardwired to the point you couldn’t comprehend anything happening around you. It affected everything you did, but no one could put their finger on why sometimes things got to be much for you it brought you to tears. For the most part, your boyfriend Quinn tried to help you but when the weather in Vancouver shifted just as he’d been named captain. He just couldn’t do it anymore, he tried but it was draining him.

You sat cross legged in the center of Quinn’s living room, reorganizing his CD collection for the third time this week. Quinn sighed as he entered his apartment, coming home from a rough roadie, all he wanted was to take a scorching shower and talk to you while you guys laid in his bed watching a cheesy movie. He didn’t utter a word as he walked past to his room and dropped his stuff off before returning to his living room and letting out a sigh, “The CDS haven’t magically moved since Tuesday dollface.”

You ignored your boyfriend, again. Quinn blew out a breath he’d been holding in for god knows how long, “I don’t think I can do this anymore.” He expected you to protest against him trying to break up with him, but you didn’t. Which somehow made Quinn more upset at the entire ordeal, “So your fine with just throwing away the last 6 years?” You kept quiet, knowing that if you dared to speak you would say something that you and Quinn couldn’t come back from. So you stayed silent as you stood up and slipped on your shoes and grabbed your coat and walked out of Quinn’s apartment and his life.

You returned to your shared loft with your friend Tess and finally let your composure fall. A wretched sob ripped through your chest as you leaned against the door and slid to sit against the wall. Tess hurried out of her bedroom and was at your side in seconds, “Oh honey. It’s okay.” You felt like someone was wrapping barbed wire around your throat, “I can’t, I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. Something isn’t right Tess.” Your breathing began to quicken as your chest tightened. Tess rubbed your back reassuringly, “I got you.” You closed your eyes and focused on your breathing. Once you were calm you turned to Tess, “Quinn and I broke up. I think I need to go home and get help.” And that was exactly what you did.

You went back to Toronto and moved back into your childhood bedroom, went to a neurologist and found out that your brain had an insufficient amount of neurotransmitters which could play part in your moods. The doctor told you that you needed to boost your serotonin and dopamine levels and prescribed you antidepressants and referred you to a women’s mental health clinic. You noticed slowly that your mood became less negative and you were able to focus better. But you also noticed that you began to get thinner and no matter what you did it never seemed like you gained weight.

December

You were reluctant to go to the Hughes Christmas dinner, although Ellen had reassured you that you were more than welcome. You still had your bad days and didn’t know if being around Quinn would make you snap and you didn’t want to snap at him. So you told your mother you’d think about it but that she should go. Which she did. You mother and Ellen were in grossed in a conversation over linens when Luke finally mentioned you, “So I guess she really doesn’t have anything to say to you Quinn. She would never miss out on Dad’s meatballs.” Quinn shot his brother a glare as your mother spoke softly, “She’s just having a hard time right now, her meds are messing with her.” Ellen smiled solemnly, “How is she adjusting to her antidepressants?”

Quinn looked taken aback learning your on antidepressants now, “Is she okay?” Your mom smiled as she lifted her wine glass to her lips, “Her doctor told her she doesn’t have sufficient neurotransmitters and it’s a chemical imbalance in her brain that’s made her feel like this all these years. The doctor said there’s a good chance coupled with the harsh weather and seasonal depression that’s what made her feel so poorly. Nothing you could have done would have helped Quinn.” Jack rolled his eyes subtly, “So because she’s mentally not okay, we’re supposed to be fine with her destroying Quinn?” Ellen glared at her middle child, “Jack! If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say sit.”

You stared at the stack of wrapped gifts you had gotten for each member of the Hughes family. You sighed as you slid off the couch and pulled on a dark red sweater and some jeans and took the gifts to your car and made your way to the Hughes family home. You were unsure of what would happen when you walked in but you were facing your fears today. You rang the doorbell, not expecting Quinn to be on the other side of the door.

His eyes held an unreadable expression that you had grown to miss. You were almost positive that you had lost your voice when he spoke, “Hey.” You smiled, “Hi, you look uh great.” Quinn rubbed his neck as a deep blush rolled over his cheeks, “Thanks. You do too.” He took some of the gifts as you I walked inside the house and placed your gifts with the rest of the gifts under the tree. You slipped your coat off and hung it in the closet with the others. Quinn frowned ever so slightly when he took note of how the jeans that had once hugged your body in all the right places were loose on you and how you looked at him like you might break if you looked at him long enough.

Ellen’s voice rang out from the dining room, “Who was it honey?” You smiled warmly as you entered the dining room behind Quinn, “Hi.” Ellen’s eyes glimmered with excitement as she hopped up and pulled you into a bone crushing hug, “We’re so glad you could make it after all. Right guys?” The Hughes men muttered out agreements. You sat down at the only empty seat which, as the universe was punishing you, was directly across from Jack with Quinn sitting beside you. Conversation flowed between you and everyone besides Jack and Quinn.

Jack spoke up in condescending tone, “So Y/N what have you been up to since you and Quinn broke up?” Jack let out a groan as Quinn swiftly kicked him underneath the table. You felt your smile drop, “I moved back home like 3 days after. I’ve been getting a lot of help. Working on understanding my feelings.” Jack hummed, “Seeing anyone? You sure are slimming down.” You tensed as you drew in a deep breath, “Nope. Wouldn’t be fair to a poor guy. I’m still in love with someone and I’m not sure relationships are for me. But can we just talk about your game against the Red Wings? I mean I was on my seat the entire time.”

Jack’s smirk fell, “You still watch my games?” You shrugged, “I watched Trev kick your ass. I also watched Quinn hand the Sharks the biggest loss. I didn’t stop watching hockey because I got broken up with.” You melted into Quinn’s touch as he placed a hand on your thigh. He mouthed inaudibly, ‘Thank you’ Dinner ended and Ellen insisted on going straight to presents. You smiled warmly as Jack and Luke opened their gifts from you. You You played more into a joke with Jack. It was a shirt that read ‘Straight Outta The Penalty Box.’ Jack’s gift sent his brother’s into laughter while Jack sent you a playful eye roll, “Now I know she actually watches my games still.” Luke’s gift seemed to be more fitting for him, he opened the box and ran his fingers over the soft tie that was adorned with red hockey sticks, “Thank you.” You smiled as Quinn picked up his gift from you, “I didn’t know what to get you so with my luck you’ll probably hate it.”

Quinn opened the box and his eyes softened as he looked at the gift, “You remembered. Why would I hate this?” He pulled out the large cooling weighted blanket. You barely remembered him mentioning wanting one. Apparently your subconscious remembered. Quinn’s eyes softened as you began to tidy up the wrapping paper as everyone continued to open gifts.

Without being noticed Quinn slipped into his childhood bedroom and opened his bag and pulled out a small gift wrapped box. He slipped it into his pocket and returned to the living room. His eyes immediately were on you as you clasped a necklace around his mother’s neck. Soon enough all the gifts were opened and Quinn spoke warmly, “I actually have a gift for you Y/N.” Your eyes widened, “O-okay.” Quinn slipped the small box from his pocket and placed it in your hand. By the size alone you knew it was jewelry of some sort.

You opened the box and your eyes widened and swelled with tears, “You can’t. Not with how horrible I was to you.” Quinn shook his head, “No I can. I have loved you since I have known you. I don’t care if your going through the worst thing possible. I love you and I just wanna be there for you no matter what. For the rest of my life. I want to be your husband. Marry me.” Your eyes welled, “I don’t know if I can give you the life you want Quinn.” Quinn shook his head as he pulled you closer to him, which you didn’t think was humanly possible, “The life I want is waking up to you pressing your ice cold feet to my legs to warm them up, the life I want is holding your purse so you can stop and pet every stray cat you see. The life I want is anytime and everything as long as you are there. You are the one good thing in my life.” You sniffled, “Fine I’ll marry you.”

[holymolyfizzie]

i don't wanna derail @kityana's post about stolas's pill popping, so i'm making a separate one. but something kityana said finally made me think about something: "i'm still not sure if those pills are actually helping him or if they were just given to him to numb him to how shitty his life is"

I've wondered something related to this a lot myself. but Stolas takes his antidepressants with alcohol (and in the aftermath of alcohol, like at the end of The Circus), which is a depressant. taking antidepressants + alcohol at best just cancels out your antidepressants so they don't actually do anything. but both at once, at worst, makes your depression symptoms a lot worse. taking them together is the sort of stuff that college girls get yelled at for, but i guess no one told stolas. i wouldn't be surprised if he's been popping them like candy and upping his dosage because he was told they would help him…and then they don't because of the rampant alcoholism. which is to say that we don't know if the meds even worked for him at all (i'd argue strongly they didn't, considering his alcoholism only ever got worse and he kept taking more and more pills, like they never worked enough) or if they were a placebo while he was taking them

and this might be a bit too nuanced for such a show, but as someone who has suddenly gotten off antidepressants that didn't work at all, the withdrawal symptoms don't always affect mood that much (they did nothing for it to begin with) and they sure as hell don't last a full month after getting off. in fact, going cold turkey off of meds that do work for you shouldn't have withdrawal symptoms that last a full month (if you do, it's a Talk to Your Doctor moment). i just really wonder if Stolas noticed the lack of antidepressants after the first few days beyond the old habit of taking them, and if we really can contribute much of his mental breakdown to getting off antidepressants

but you know what he was taking religiously, that did affect him for sure, and that we haven't seen him touch in a month now? the alcohol. he was drinking during Mastermind, but he clearly hasn't touched it since the trial. Blitz doesn't seem to have alcohol around, and Stolas wouldn't ask for the extra expense -- he's being forced to quit. he passes up Loona's beelzejuice at the Sinsmas party, noticeably. the beelzejuice is brought in, and Stolas immediately goes outside for a smoke instead. he's not drinking anymore. and quitting alcohol cold turkey is an insane process, esp at his level of hard liquor. we're talking about disastrous health consequences and a whole host of withdrawal symptoms -- anxiety, depression, irritability, fatigue, loss of appetite, brain fog, hallucinations, and much worse stuff (in humans, seizures). it's impossible to underestimate the severe damage alcoholism does to your brain and body longterm. and a lot of those withdrawal symptoms stay weeks after stopping cold turkey

like, i don't want to detract from him going off of antidepressants; he needs and obviously wants working antidepressants, he's desperate for them. but i'm gonna be so for real, i've had my experiences going off ineffective antidepressants, and i've watched family members try to quit alcohol. an alcoholic quitting is a brutal, drawn out process that shakes me to my core. there are reasons a person still says "i am an alcoholic" even a decade after quitting. that shit's insidious in a way that antidepressants aren't, and it was affecting stolas noticeably more, surely enough to render his meds useless. if you want him back on antidepressants, then you need a sober Stolas first, and this is what he's FINALLY working on

so i think more emphasis needs to be placed on Stolas's recovery from alcoholism when discussing his mental breakdown, irritability, etc. the fact that he's doing this without rehab or other interventions is miraculous, nearly impossible. i don't want his impressive recovery (so far) from alcoholism to end up getting buried under the antidepressant talk ngl, especially when his getting off of alcohol now means that his antidepressants may actually work in the future and help him. this is something to be so so proud of!!

[justmeinadaze]

Not Alone Part 2 (Medication)(Eddie X You)

A/N: This is what I mentioned writing the other night and is a part to this ask here.

I want to say that I have had so many experiences with medications since I was diagnosed with my mental health issues in 2016. I had watched it help people like myself after so many trials and errors and I've watched it hurt people to their core. I've been physically hurt to the point where I was vomiting and curled up on the bathroom floor. I've had pills that messed with my brain chemistry to the point a friend found me sobbing on the floor terrified I was going to die. All that fun stuff and to be honest the worst part was no feeling heard.

I would tell doctors how much pain I was in and they would tell me it was normal. After a couple of days I would tell them something wasn't right and I was told to give it more time. It wasn't until 2019 I finally found a doctor who worked with me and realized that my brain and stomach are extremely sensitive to meds and we have to start on the lowest doses first before moving up. Ive been on my current set of pills since then and it's changed my life.

Of course, mental health meds don't fix everything and I was suggested a vitamin that help with calming your mind. Yesterday, I took and what the reader feels about her quiet mind is how I felt. I didn't know what to do with myself. Honestly, I just wanted to be held and told everything is ok.

But yeah, my advise to you is trust your gut. If you want to take medication and notice somethings off voice your concern. If you don't like what a drug does or how it affects you, say something. DO NOT let a doctor walk all over you. If I've learned anything over the last few years, it's that all doctors are human and like humans...they make mistakes and can be assholes.

Warnings: Mentions of mental health concerns, details on medication symptoms (tummy ache, vomiting, change in personality, quiet mind), feels of "being a bother" More then anything this is Eddie taking care of you and him making sure you're ok. Mr. White Knight <3.

Word Count: 1579

“Ok and what should we be on the lookout for?”, Eddie asks as his hand remains intertwined with yours. 

The doctor you had just met at the insistence of your family heavily exhaled as your boyfriend asked him another question that seemed to annoy him. 

“Look, Mr. Munson, she’s going to be fine. This medication helps so many people to be relaxed and quiet their mind. At most, she’ll be so relaxed that you both will get a good night’s sleep. Now, I do have other patients waiting.”

As he begins to walk the door, the metalhead starts to follow before you grab his elbow and pull him back. 

“Stop it, freak.”, you tease as he tosses you a smile back. 

“Hey, I just want to know that you’re safe. I don’t like seeing you in pain or anything. I know your depression tells you no one cares but I do.”

Beaming up at him, you pull his lips to yours as he wraps his arms around you to hug you to his chest. 

***

“Y/N? How are you feeling so far, baby?”

It had been about an hour since you took the antidepressant the doctor recommended and Eddie noticed within 5 minutes of taking it your entire body language changed. You seemed…heavier…as if there was a weight baring down on you and folding your frame. 

His careful eyes followed you around the trailer as you silently grabbed a water bottle and sat cross legged on the couch to watch tv. The thing was…he could tell in your eyes that you weren’t really paying attention. You seemed to be looking through the tv instead of comprehending anything going on. 

“I’m…I’m ok.”

“Can you give me more than that, please?”, Eddie asked as he sat down beside you.

“I’m…calm. I don’t feel anything really. Like…I’m relaxed but…I kind of just want to curl up into a ball.”, you mumble raising another red flag in his brain. 

“Why is that do you think?”

“It’s going to sound dumb.”, you sigh as you hang your head. 

“Hey.”, he coos as his fingers lift your chin. “Nothing you say is dumb to me. I’m a freak remember?”

Eddie smirks at the sound of your laugh but even that sounds out of place. This particular metalhead was never a fan of medication. He believed it worked and helped people but in his experience it made things worse. His uncle once tried to put him on ADHD medication when he was a boy and promptly took him off it when he noticed his nephew’s personality completely change. In later years, weed helped calm him down along with his music and creating a campaign for Hellfire. 

You had told him once, you struggled with finding your purpose. Your family made you believe that paying bills and working a desk job is normal. It’s the only thing in realty that was attainable.

With him, he showed you a new world that you absolutely loved and encouraged you to try new things like writing or learning an instrument for yourself. Since you had started seeing him, you felt like someone cared and put you first, constantly making you feel wanted and seen. 

Throughout your time together, he watched a personality unfold that made him fall more in love with you every day and truth be told he was terrified that medication would strip that away but if it could help you be happy and achieve your dreams than he was open to the idea.  

“My mind…has never been quiet. As far as I can remember something’s been…buzzing around in there, you know? This…this scares me…I don’t know…what to do with the silence.”

Eddie’s heart cracks listening to your explanation as he pets your head and kisses your temple. 

“Well, sweetheart, things will never be silent with me as your boyfriend.”

Giggling, you crawl into his lap and melt into his embrace as he softly plays with your hair.

***

Three hours later the energy changed as you felt a pain in your stomach you had never felt before. Rushing to the bathroom, you threw up over and over again as Eddie held your hair back. 

“Everything’s ok, baby.”, he whispered before turning his attention to the phone next to his ear. “No, I don’t fucking care that he’s not there! Then give me another fucking doctor to talk to. My girlfriend hasn’t stopped throwing up in the last thirty minutes. I refuse to believe that’s fucking normal!”

“Look, sir, there’s nothing we can do about it over the phone and like I said with mental health medication, it is common for it to cause the symptoms she’s experiencing. After a while, they will go away.”

“What is ‘a while’?”

“Usually after 2 weeks, your body gets used to the—”

“Oh, hell no! You’re saying she’s going to be in this much pain for that long?! What about her job, her life, her fucking sanity!? Aren’t these pills supposed to help with the depression!? How does that help!?”

“Eddie…”, you cry as you try to reach for his arm to calm him down. 

“Listen, we have an opening for you to see her doctor tomorrow morning. Bring her in and we can take a look.”

“Yeah we’ll do that.”, he sasses before hanging up the phone. “Here, sweetheart. Drink some of this water and then we’ll go lay down ok?”

“I’m sorry.”, you sob causing him to grab a tissue to wipe your eyes. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for—”

“I’m causing problems. I’m making things difficult for you—”

“No, baby, No. Listen to me, Y/N. The only thing that’s difficult for me is watching you hurt like this. I knew that fucker wasn’t taking you seriously. I swear to God when we get in there tomorrow—”

“Please…I just wanna lay down.”

Nodding, Eddie careful lifts you and lays you in his bed, bringing the covers up over your frame. After placing a trashcan by the bed and the water on his nightstand, he crawls in behind you and pulls you into his arms, gently kissing your shoulder as he listens to your breath. 

***

“Alright, Miss Y/L/N, now I heard you were having some symptoms in regard to the medication and—”

“She’s not taking that bullshit anymore. Check her over and make sure she’s not dehydrated or needs a hospital and then you can fuck off.”, Eddie growled from his place in front of you like the protector he was. 

“Listen there’s no need for—”

“There’s a huge fucking need. She came to you for help and you just toss any drug at her without really speaking to her about her history?! You didn’t properly warn her about the side effects. Trust me, the most that happened wasn’t ‘a good night’s sleep’. She threw up half the fucking night and sobbed in arms. Do you know what that’s like?! Having someone you love being in pain and feel so fucking helpless?!”

The doctor cleared his throat as he sighed. 

“She said it calmed her mind but to an extent she didn’t know how to handle. You don’t just thrust someone into that. You have to ease them in so they don’t get overwhelmed. You should know that…or did years in medical school strip you have your humanity and common fucking sense?”

“Let, um, let me look her over here.”

Eddie’s intense eyes watched the doctor as he checked you out and you confirmed you felt better since you didn’t take the pill again for day 2. 

“She seems fine and one day on the drug won’t hurt her mentally. I recommend a day to rest and then she’ll be as she was.”

The metalhead, seemingly satisfied with his answer, took you in his arms and gently placed you on the tile. 

“I’m not trying to be a dick, doctor. She’s been through so much already and all by herself. Lord knows I’m not perfect but if I can help her I will. You dropped the ball here, sir, and I hope you don’t again.”

***

“Thank you.”, you murmur as your arms wrap tighter around him while you both lay in bed listening to the music and the rain outside. “For standing up for me. My family and doctors always treat me like I’m being overdramatic.”

“No, baby, you’re not. You deserve to be heard. My mom’s medication used to make her sick all the time and she would brush it off saying it was part of the process. I know they helped her with her pain but…”

“Will you help me look into maybe some alternatives? Something that can help me without changing or hurting me? Or maybe we can find a doctor that will work with me…”

“Of course, sweetheart.”, he coos as he kisses your forehead. “You’re not an inconvenience or a problem by the way. You say that a lot when you’re low. I really do like helping you and or taking care of you. You’ve always been there for me and I see how you are with other people including some that don’t deserve your kindness. You deserve to have someone help you take the reins from time to time.”

“What did I do to deserve you, Eddie Munson?”, you smile up at him. 

His chest vibrates as he laughs and grins down at you. 

“I don’t know. Probably some voodoo chant or dance or something.” 

##########

Eddie Asks

[l-in-the-light]

Hey 😊, thinking about Laws mental health (poor boy 🥺) . We know he's traumatized, with anxiety, depression and nightmares. I often ask myself what a psychological therapist would recommend/ how threat him. 🤔 3 times Luffy a day maybe 😅

Hi! Thanks for the ask! Okay, since it's a serious ask, my answer will also be serious: what I would reccommend him is a freaking good therapy. There's no way someone who isn't a specialist can help him recover. Like yes, staying with people who care for him, like friends and family, is helpful and needed for longterm recovery (to create good environment in which a traumatized person is loved and accepted), but it won't help reduce the symptoms on it's own.

I'm not a psychologist, but I do like reading about psychology. What I think Law is suffering from is PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder. It occurs in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event or series of events (like a natural disaster, assault, bullying, homicide, mass murder, war etc.) that affect their mental, emotional, physical, social and spiritual well-being. People with PTSD may avoid situations or people that remind them of the traumatic event, and they may have strong negative reactions to something as ordinary as a loud noise or an accidental touch. Does it sound familiar, with Law experiencing mass genocide in Flevance and then witnessing Cora-san's murder (reinforcing unhealed trauma), and as the result avoiding contact with people? Because it totally should sound like him.

People with PTSD have intense, disturbing thoughts and feelings related to their experience that last long after the traumatic event has ended. Symptoms of PTSD include things like:

intrusive thoughts (repeated involuntarily memories, vivid flashbacks: like the traumatic event happened mere moments ago instead of in the distant past);

avoidance of triggering situations (places, people, acitvities, objects or situations) because it can trigger distressing memories;

altering mood and cognition which leads to negative thoughts and feelings about oneself or others (low self-esteem, self blaming for the event occuring even if there's nothing the person could have done realistically, ongoing feelings of fear, anger, shame, guilt, less interest in things one previously enjoyed, feeling detached from others, unable to experience positive emotions like happiness or satisfaction);

altering reactivity like being prone to angry outsbursts, being irritable, behaving recklessly or in self-destructive way, hypervigilance, having problems concentrating or sleeping. There can be also physical symptoms like tremors, headaches etc.

As a result people experiencing PTSD often resist talking about what happened or how they feel about it, and withdrawing from people, so they don't have to relive those symptoms over and over again. Which is kinda a vicious circle because by avoiding it they don't really help themselves heal and instead completely isolate themselves, both from others, and their own emotions.

Symptoms can last months or years or decades, if unhealed. PTSD can occur with other related conditions, such as depression, substance use, memory problems and other physical and mental health problems (for example impulsive behaviour or anxiety). Why is PTSD even a thing? Psychology tells us it's because brain tries to cope with what happened. Human brains are very problem-solving oriented so they will relive the traumatic event over and over again to try to find a solution to it, to make sure such situation won't happen again. And it usually won't stop till it finds a satisfying answer. But traumatic events aren't the fault of the victims, so it becomes a self-tormenting overfixation as the result.

Besides medicaments (usually antidepressants), there are three therapies that are reccommended to help one recover from PTSD. Apparently the therapies are more helpful than meds. They also probably bring best results when combined instead of focusing only on one or two methods.

First therapy method that is apparently quite effective is Prolonged Exposure. In Law's case it would mean exposing himself to a triggering situation, like for example practicing touching other people again, in safe environment. It has usually two phases: imaginary in the therapy session and outside of therapy, kinda like a homework exercise. It sounds very easy, but of course it's anything but, because all the feelings of anxiety, stress and physical symptoms aren't going anywhere, and the therapist would be helping to develop healthy ways of coping with them whenever that happens. The goal is to get used to the thing one was avoiding because it was too triggering. If done wrong I believe it can make the PTSD even worse.

Another method is Cognitive Processing Therapy. It's the "talking therapy" many would probably imagine as a standard procedure. The goal of it is to become more aware of the relationship between thoughts and emotions and begin to identify “automatic thoughts” that may be responsible for the PTSD symptoms. It's basically deep-diving into oneself, scrutinizing thinking patterns and associations one makes about the traumatic event and how one perceives oneself as the result of it. The patient talks about their experience and their feelings, while the therapist helps by asking questions and pointing out maladaptive thinking (like self-blaming thoughts) in order to modify harmful beliefs about oneself. In Law's case, his belief of having failed Flevance and selfblaming himself for not being able to save anyone, and his low self-esteem as the result, would be one of examples of his maladaptive thinking. There's no way a 10 year old child could have done anything to save the country or city, no matter if he's a child of doctors or not. It's not his fault any of this happened, not his fault that he tried his best to survive, and not his fault he had no means of helping anyone. Even as an adult, he also wouldn't be able to do all of that.

The goal is for the patient to develop skills to identify and address unhelpful thinking and beliefs. Next step is to adapt this skill outside of treatment to improve daily life. The therapy is often focused on such fields as safety, trust, power, control, esteem and intimacy, which tend to be affected the most by traumatic experiences. In Law's case it means helping him learn how to open up to people again, creating and maintaining friendships and other kind of relationships, how to deal with feeling vulnerable around people, how to not be overwhelmed so it doesn't prevent him from talking about his experiences and thoughts, how to trust people again, how to get control over his own traumatic responses, how to achieve the feeling of safety around people etc. He would have definitely a lot to work through.

Third possible therapy is EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing). The basic idea of it is to use stimulation (most common is side-to-side eye movement, or alternating sounds or taps, timed to the patient talking about their feelings) to reduce and hopefully eliminate PTSD symptoms. It sounds a bit like magic, but it's actually a behavioral therapy, it's based on the belief that stress symptoms caused by trauma are due to memories not being correctly processed inside the brain. When a person with PTSD is experiencing a triggering event or emotionally charged situation, their brain can feel like it "froze" or got "stuck", overfocused on the trigger. It's especially harmful when it's so severe that the patient can't tell what has happened in their past and what’s happening in the present.

EMDR therapy makes use of both the left and right sides of your brain (one responsible for processing the movement, the other for thinking), enhancing the natural ability to heal and process information. This allows to separate intense emotions from the memories, so the emotions by themselves can be “reprocessed” or "reassigned". The therapy begins by teaching you how to ground yourself, and then gradually breaks down the tough stuff into smaller, more manageable chunks. I'm always sceptical whenever I read about EMDR, but one of my friends went through it and said it was indeed effective and helpful, so who am I to doubt it? Apparently the biggest advantage of the EMDR is that it doesn’t require people to speak about the intolerable, triggering events or explain to a therapist why they feel in particular way (that sounds like it would really help Law who doesn't seem to want to talk about his emotions). It still needs proper preparation stage, so it's not like the patient won't have to speak *at all* about his trauma, and the session ends with reaffirming the results. I'm not gonna lie but many behavioural therapies sound like they could be used for malignant purposes, if in the wrong hands. It basically teaches the patient that a certain assiociated behaviour is connected with a specific action.

There are also other complementary and alternative therapies for people with PTSD, that require less talking and disclosure than psychotherapy. Examples include acupuncture, yoga (and possibly other physical-based activities) and animal-assisted therapy. I'm sure Bepo already is exactly that (and more, since he's also Law's best friend) for Law, and Chopper could be as well. The case with Chopper would be a mutual benefit, because Chopper has his own PTSD symptoms as well, so he and Law could both help each other to heal. Peer support group is also usually reccommended, and I'm looking at you here, Robin! After all those two share many similar symptoms of their traumas and their experiences are also quite similar.

It's worthy to mention that some patients also report feeling tired or experiencing more vivid dreams following reprocessing sessions as the initial result of the therapy. Sometimes things need to get worse before they can become better. Also it's normal for healing process to not be linear, it's usually marked with ups and downs, and can take months or even years (with exception of EMDR which is said to bring really fast relieving results). At times things get so good the patient doesn't need therapy for a while, but after a particularly awful flashback or going through very triggering situation they might need it again, because the symptoms came back. As the result of the therapy the patient also knows themselves much better, know how to cope with certain triggers and how to deal with the aftermath, regulate their breathing, how to sooth physical symptoms, recognize the uncomfortable situation and remove oneself as fast as possible from it etc. Also it helps them gain confidence and stop negative thoughts about themselves (shame, blame, low self-esteem). It also gives them the tools to reimagine themselves and their mind's frameworks so even if a trigger happens again, at least they can fight against their very own selfguilting trips about that.

But will the triggers ever truly go away? Maybe yes, maybe not. The goal of therapy isn't to "fix" someone like the bad event never happened, but to deal with the results of it in better, not self-harming ways. But there is a high chance for triggers to happen less often when the patient has a safe environment around him, like family and friends, who are there for him and make sure to avoid their triggers, support him whenever he needs that etc. That's why, eventually, Luffy three times a day (or rather: spending time with Strawhats and Hearts every day) is gonna be essential in Law's longterm recovery. Still, this is healing process we're talking about, no matter how successful the therapy is, Law might still experience nightmares (even really nasty ones) from time to time, and occassionally even regularly, after he experienced something like almost losing someone important to him again, stuck in a helpless situation, or suddenly grabbed violently, or people telling him to not come any closer or not touch them. Therapy helps so the PTSD doesn't dominate daily life, but it can't really make the triggers stop being triggering. Take sexual assault for example, no matter the amount of therapy, it will never make you feel okay with sexual assault. And it's also not the point.

Sometimes, I feel like people sending me questions about Law's intimacy expect Law to get "completely normal" and never experience any trigger again, just cuddling happily with people for the rest of his days, like nothing terrible ever happened to him. Yes, he might get to that point when interacting with people he trusts and feels close with, like touching or hugging, but no, it doesn't mean he will be okay with just anyone and everyone touching him. And sometimes touch will feel bad and wrong no matter the intention, and make his symptoms return, maybe even for no clear reason whatsoever. And for example, being touched out of the blue, unexpectedly, like on a wrist (that's how Doflamingo grabbed him in Dressrosa), can make everything come back to him. It's normal for people with PTSD, even after they healed, because trauma is a bitch and doesn't just disappear. You just learn how to deal with it better. He can learn again how to allow others to touch him and touch them back, but it doesn't mean touch will never become bad again; in fact it still often can and will. Think of it like a permament scar - it will always be there, but you can learn to accept it as part of yourself and be less bothered about it, but it might still terribly hurt at certain times and there's nothing you can do about it. And it doesn't have to be a bad thing that makes you or others think like you're "broken" or "worse" in any way. It's just who you are.

Also, I think canon-wise, Law did some working through his trauma. Obviously touch is still a big issue for him (that trauma must be really severe), as well as helplessness or experiencing someone nearly dying, but he seemed to work through the self-blame around Vergo, for example, to some extent (he doesn't blame himself anymore for delivering Cora-san's message to him, his trigger doesn't overpower him and he can oppose and fight Vergo himself). Also Bepo's care and closeness must be doing really good things for Law. So props for the boy, he's actually doing what he can! And I'm certain spending more time on Sunny with Strawhats would make him get even better!

And one day we will see him as comfortable as on this double spread image and it will be one of the biggest victories in his healing process ❤

Still won't mean he will be 100% okay with any touch at any time, even from people he loves and who love him back.

[beesmygod]

now that im not addled with pain 24/7 from various allergic exposures and got my joints under control, i have enough brain power to notice how drastically my irl self changed. flattened affect (! so weird to notice!) and a complete and utter inability to do anything at all. which is really very unusual. it not like "i dont want to do chores" in a lazy sense. i know what that feels like (delicious, indulgent) but "i don't feel like lifting my arms that high" or "this won't help solve my problems" (apathetic, not rewarding at all, frustrating). this made work so bad. so so bad. combine all my already complicated feelings toward my work with the inexplicable inability to even approach it and it was like water on a grease fire.

i was leaving dishes piled up for days and laundry was getting completely out of pocket*. adam is working like, a for real job that wears him out so every time he had to pick up my half of the slack, i felt terrible. HORRIBLE.

when i started struggling to deal with my own personal hygiene, then i knew it was time to go to a doctor. it is not normal to be on this many antidepressants and struggle to take a shower. thats the opposite of what its supposed to be doing.

*adam also cleans and takes point on the heavy duty household chores. and feeds me. i wasnt doing everything on my own but i couldnt keep up with my agreed upon portion

[aachria]

hey hello how ya doing anyways how does Ed’s depression affect them? They mentioned to chopper that they didn’t take any medication for it and I’ve kinda been really super thinking about it A LOT

Ironically I have been too lmaooo. I’ve been in a relatively good headspace for a bit so I haven’t wanted to write that flavour in a while, though I did reference it in an upcoming chapter.

Ed’s got that quiet depression that isn’t a problem until it’s a PROBLEM, something that just exists until you’re crying on the floor of the shower because you can’t get the shampoo bottle open and you notice how much hair is in the drain. It’s quiet nights because existing beyond yourself feels like a chore and occasional insomnia because brains are fucking loud and fucking mean. It's the 'when they go low, I go lowER' of depressions, a very cumulative type of profound sadness that always hits its hardest when you least want it to. I don't really know how explicit it comes off through the story, but Ed wasn't a really... social person before the whole parking lot incident — it was a loooot of time spent alone cooped up at home.

Now there's a variety of reasons why Ed could be unmedicated; when they tell Chopper about their diagnosis's they mention anything they took for their panic disorder made things worse, so that could also be the case with any antidepressant they may have been put on. It could also be that they were on some other kind of medication, for their ADHD for example, and they had some bad interactions. Or maybe the side effects of the meds in general wouldn't be worth the trouble.

ANYWAY. Mental illness sure is fun 👍 Ah shit that reminds me I gotta get my Vyvanse prescription filled uuuuuugghhhhhh—

[cordeliatheodoro]

Things I learned over my 5 years as a chronically ill person:

Obs: I have some kind of illness that's similar to Chron's disease, but like, not as bad. It still impacts my life in more ways than I ever expected, including fucking up my liver and mental health. Anyway;

Eating the "wrong" thing is better than not eating - when you have an illness that affects your appetite, the best course of action, in my experience, is to eat what you feel like eating. If that means having a jar of cookies for lunch, it's completely fine. Eat what you know your body will accept, because that's better than not eating anything or having your body reject what you eat.

Body fat = healthy - this is specific to my case, but I was just skin and bones before getting the right treatment. Even if I might feel bad because beauty standarts, getting enough weight and body fat to the point I became a midsized person (after years of being a walking skeleton) is something that should be celebrated. It means I'm eating enough and my body is becoming healthier.

You gain a hell of a pain tolerance - remember how I said my liver is fucked up? It means whenever I take painkillers, my stomach becomes a rebelious teen and tries to kill me. A.K.A, nausea, and actually throwing up if the medicine is too strong. I've learned to endure pain in order to not need painkillers, or to only take them if it becomes too much.

Kiss many adult experiences goodbye - Taking more than two sips of alcohol is a no-no, and don't even thing about drugs. I'm always the sober friend, which is not bad per se, but I would like it more if it was a choice.

You will be known as the sick friend (if you're the only one in the group) - I got sick at 12/13 and only got treatment for it at 16, so high school was HellTM. Get used to people asking if you're feeling alright everytime time your face moves two milimiters, and to cancel plans because you're sick. It also makes flirting with your crush harder, because they might see you as fragile (seems like people don't find you sexy if they know you have intestine problems).

Antidepressants are not exclusive for people with depression - Did you know the intestines are considered the second brain? Anyway, I was prescribed antidepressants (that also work as anxiety medication) to help with my chronic illness, and honestly, it kinda works.

Hope is good but don't hope too much - sounds depressing, but at least in my case, seems to be true. Things get better, and with the right treatment, you'll have a good life and achieve yours dreams, and overcome many, many symptoms and difficulties. And I really don't like thinking about it, but I know that this is probably my case, and it's a fact: I will never be 100% healthy again. Not like how I was before.

You won't have all the answers you want - I have an illness that's names, in my mother language, as "Indeterminate". It means doctors are not able to know how it developed, why it developed, if there's a cure, and how to treat it. The treatment I went through can only be described as "fuck around and find out". So yeah, sometimes you just have to accept there are no answers.

Anyway, this was depressing as shit, but I needed to get it off my system. To all my chronically ill siblings: hold on tight! We can do it!

[tomasorban]

Can inflammation cause depression?

There’s evidence to suggest that inflammation can contribute to the development of depression in many people, particularly among individuals with preexisting inflammatory conditions or chronic illnesses.

For instance, research suggests that the link between inflammation and depression is commonly seen in conditions like autoimmune diseases (e.g., multiple sclerosis) and infections (e.g., sepsis) where the immune system plays a significant role.

How does inflammation affect your mental health?

When your immune system is activated, it affects not only the body but also the central nervous system, which includes the brain. Chronic inflammation is linked to changes in the brain’s chemistry and structure, which can increase the risk of depression.

Inflammation can impact mental health in several ways:

Neurotransmitter imbalance: ResearchTrusted Source suggests that inflammation may disrupt brain chemicals (neurotransmitters) like serotonin and dopamine, leading to mood imbalances.

Hormonal disruption: Inflammation can affect stress and sex hormone levels (e.g., cortisol, estrogen), impacting mood and cognition.

Neuroinflammation: EvidenceTrusted Source suggests that inflammation within the brain itself can cause cognitive and mood problems.

Reduced neuroplasticity: Chronic inflammation may hinder the brain’s ability to adapt and learn.

Oxidative stress: Inflammation may increase oxidative stress, damaging brain cells.

In many adults, depression and inflammation appear to be separate issues. One studyTrusted Source found that clinical depression in older individuals isn’t typically linked to increased inflammation unless they have preexisting inflammatory conditions like arthritis.

How do you know if your depression is caused by inflammation?

Determining if your depression is caused by inflammation typically involves specialized medical tests and assessments. This may involve blood tests to measure inflammatory markers or discussions with your doctor about your medical history and symptoms.

However, here are some signs that suggest inflammation may be contributing to your depression:

You have other inflammatory conditions (e.g., autoimmune disorders, chronic infections, or inflammatory bowel disease).

Your depression had a sudden onset (especially in response to an infection or injury).

Your depression doesn’t respond to antidepressants.

You have physical symptoms (e.g., fatigue, joint pain, or fever)

You have high stress levels (chronic stress can trigger inflammation).

You have a family history of both depression and inflammatory conditions.

You have elevated markers of inflammation, like CRP or cytokines, in specialized blood tests.

Treatment options for inflammation-related depression

Treatment options for inflammation-related depression typically aim to target both the underlying inflammation and the depressive symptoms. Here are some common approaches:

Anti-inflammatory medications: Some evidenceTrusted Source suggests that nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) or anti-inflammatory agents like corticosteroids may be prescribed to reduce inflammation.

Healthy diet: A comprehensive reviewTrusted Source of 41 studies revealed that maintaining a consistently healthy diet, especially one in line with the traditional Mediterranean diet, or simply avoiding diets that promote inflammation, may protect against depression.

Psychotherapy: Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness-based therapies may help manage depression symptoms.

Medications: Some evidenceTrusted Source suggests that certain antidepressants, like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs), can reduce inflammation in the brain, which may contribute to their effectiveness.

Light therapy: A 2017 study found that combining bright light therapy with antidepressants for nonseasonal depression could be effective. Participants also showed significant changes in immune-related lymphocyte counts.

Omega-3 fatty acids: Omega-3 supplements, found in fish oil, have anti-inflammatory properties and may help with depression symptoms.

Mind-body practices: Practices like yoga and meditation can help manage stress and potentially reduce inflammation.

Probiotics: Some research suggests that probiotics may have a positive impact on gut health and inflammation, which could indirectly affect mood.

Anti-inflammatory foods:

Here are some of the most anti-inflammatory foods on the planet, backed by research:

Fatty Fish: Fatty fish like salmon, tuna, mackerel, and sardines are rich in omega-3 fatty acids, which have potent anti-inflammatory effects.

Turmeric: Curcumin, a compound found in turmeric, has been shown to reduce inflammation and oxidative stress in the body.

Ginger: Ginger has anti-inflammatory compounds like gingerol and shogaol, which have been shown to reduce inflammation and pain.

Berries: Berries such as blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, and pomegranates are rich in antioxidants and polyphenols, which have anti-inflammatory effects.

Green Tea: Green tea contains epigallocatechin gallate (EGCG), which has been shown to reduce inflammation and improve symptoms of arthritis.

Dark Chocolate: Dark chocolate contains flavonoids, which have anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties.

Olive Oil: Olive oil is rich in oleocanthal, a compound that has been shown to reduce inflammation and oxidative stress.

Cruciferous Vegetables: Vegetables like broccoli, cauliflower, and kale contain sulforaphane, which has anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties.

Fatty Nuts and Seeds: Nuts and seeds like walnuts, chia seeds, and flaxseeds are rich in omega-3 fatty acids and antioxidants.

Leafy Greens: Leafy greens like spinach, kale, and collard greens are rich in antioxidants and polyphenols, which have anti-inflammatory effects.

Garlic: Garlic contains compounds like allicin, which have been shown to reduce inflammation and improve cardiovascular health.

Apples: Apples contain quercetin, a flavonoid that has anti-inflammatory properties.

Pineapple: Pineapple contains an enzyme called bromelain, which has anti-inflammatory properties.

Sweet Potatoes: Sweet potatoes are rich in beta-carotene, an antioxidant that has anti-inflammatory effects.

Mushrooms: Certain mushrooms like reishi, chaga, and cordyceps have been shown to have anti-inflammatory properties.

+ anti-inflammatory oils >here<

+ If you are into extracts or diet supplements, you can find products similar to >this<.

[the-night-writer1]

When It's Date Night

New ship name HotStarDragon (Red Boy x Shanyao x Mei)

When mei and Red boy decided to team up on a grand gesture for Shan.

It was a thursday afternoon as Mei and Red boy sat at a cafe trying to come up with a plan. Lately their partner and the main brain cell of this three way had been in the absolute dumps. Neither of them knew what had him so down but they both wanted to cheer him up.

Red boy had been the one to notice first and tried to point it out sooner to Pig tails but she'd thought he was talking about Mk. Which true Mk was also in the dumps but he was on the mend since he was seeing the bull family therapist. Great for Monkie kid who was instantly put on an antidepressant medication and anxiety medication. Red Boy's concern laid on their partner due to his history of dangerously bottling up emotions.

The last time he bottled up his emotions it wasn't pretty and Red boy found him crying from exhaustion. Shan had worked 5 straight days with no sleep and had failed to fix the rice cooker. It wasn't even broken, Shan hadn't plugged it in. He'd hallucinated Pigsy telling him it wouldn't turn on. Red boy was horrified.

The two partners of Shan's wanted to make sure that never happened again. Thus they were brain storming ideas.

"We could get him a new tool box" Mei suggested as she popped a chip in her mouth. She was waiting on a tea refill while Red boy sighed ," What Shanny needs a new bigger one right?"

" Pig tails he just got a new one from Pigsy for his and mk's birthday 2 months ago " Red boy said as he leaned back in his seat. They both had a lot of money, yet all Mei came up with was a new toolbox? Maybe she was right about getting him something but it had to be big ," maybe we could do something bigger?"

"How big?" Mei asked as a waiter brought over her tea. Yes they were at a fancy cafe. They were both rich bitches and right now it was just the two of them so they didn't have to worry about the price tag," like new bike big?"

" no no no he'd never accept a new bike he's still working on night light." Red boy said as he rubbed his chin," maybe a change of place?"

"Give him a spa day?" Mei suggested before sipping from her straw. A good spa day always did her some good. Red boy thought it over for a moment.

"Nah it might trigger his dysmorphia Pig tails. You know have how he is when even Macaque seeing him without a shirt" Red boy said as he stole a nacho from Mei. They needed something that ease Shan's nerves without setting off different nerves. Mei had a point though being pampered might help.

"But you are on to something Pig tails. We should pamper him. I could probably get a hot tub" Red boy stated as he thought about it. Mei also thought of ways they could pamper Shanyao. Shanny did like hot tubs, maybe they could also cook his favorites and a movie but that was just a date. It only have a temporary affect because he'd return to his room at the shop. That's when an idea hit them both.

"New penthouse!" Mei yelled as she pointed at Red boy in excitement.

" New penthouse exactly!!" Red boy said as he pulled out his phone and started looking at available penthouses to buy,"with multiple floors!"

"And a good kitchen! Definitely needs that" Mei said as she got up and looked over Red Boy's shoulder, " Ooo and a place for his bikes!"

"And a work shop obviously! It's got have a good location too so he doesn't have to go to far away from Pigsy and Tang" Red boy said as he was looking at places on his phone. Yes these two very rich people were going to buy a penthouse or an entire building to build the perfect penthouse for their boyfriend. Who would have had a heart attack at how much money they were going to drop on him.

It took a few weeks as they had to buy a building, use bull clones and their own sweat and tears but eventually Red boy and Mei made the perfect penthouse for Shanyao. It had a great kitchen, garage, multiple bedrooms, a hot tub with a movie screen, a good living room and you could see Pigsy's noodles from the window. Did they go overboard? Definitely. At least it was finally done and they bring Shanyao here.

-----

"We got a surprise for you" Mei basically sung out bouncing with each step she took. Red boy was leading their blindfolded partner to the elevator, " and I bet you're going to love it!"

"Oh now I'm curious" Shanyao said cheerfully as he quickly noticed the elevator. Red boy had been just as vocal in the car that they'd been working on this for him. So they definitely weren't at the weather station or Pinstripe. He was blindfolded in the car so he didn't know where they were just that his boyfriend and girlfriend were up to something.

"Definitely gonna love it" Red boy said as he kissed Shan's cheek. Gently holding him by the shoulders while Mei pressed the fancy button which was right next to the sweet potato button. That button brought you to the garage. The fancy nightsky colored button which Mei pressed brought them to the main floor of the penthouse.

"Okay you put the blindfold on Pig tails so I get to take it off" Red boy teased as the dragon huffed playfully.

"Fine but I want to give him a kiss first!" Mei teased back giving Shan a few kisses happily. Shanyao was so red in the face. Neither of them been this affectionate in weeks so color Shan surprised already.

Then they lead him out of the elevator and removed the blindfold. The first thing Shan saw was the "welcome home Cinnabun" banner. He then looked to his two very wealthy partners who were beaming.

"Surprise!" Red boy and Mei said in excited unison. Red boy then scooped Shanyao up to carried the shocked man around.

"W-what " Shanyao muttered in confusion and shock as he was carried by Red boy to the room where they had everything set up for a movie night.

"We made you a perfect penthouse!" Mei said Shan was looking around wide eyed," don't worry we're covering everything! We plan on living here too."

"We noticed how sad you've been lately so we figured a change in living space help a lot" Red boy said with a warm smile. Shan started to tear up though it was happy tears," I know we promised a date night so we thought we'd dine in"

" yeah and since Mk isnt here we can do whatever movies we want" Mei stated happily.

"I love you both so much " Shanyao said as he wiped his eyes.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

What do you think about adhd medication?

I am going to get diagnosed soon, and may get a prescription for adhd meds. I'm really struggling, I also have depression, anxiety, autism and dyscalculia (maths disorder). So yeah. Life sucks. And I cant get anything done in school or at home and my relationships with my friends are getting strained because I'm so stupid and weird and they don't really understand me.

I think that adhd meds and antidepressants or anxiety meds could really help me, and in turn help me in school. Im about to go into grade 11 and really need to up my game for senior. I'm not exactly failing (almost failing in maths, only reason I'm not is extra time because they can tell I got some stuff going on in my brain.) But yeah i get good-ish grades in most of my other subjects, but I hate the classes and the homework. I end up drawing in the margins or on my hands in class. I cant focus, I cant think. Everyone is always talking and it hurts my mind and I can't handle it. I can't stop thinking, too, and it hurts me. I just. Idk. I want to go on medication but I dont want to become a zombie.

Cause I've heard about people who took adhd meds and then regretted it because they felt like a zombie or robot.

So yeah, sorry for the long thing. I just kinda wanted to ask if you or someone you know has been on adhd meds or currently are? Or if you know about it at least? Because I just don't know, and all the websites I can find are ablist or sound like the standard "if your son tragically has adhd and is being disruptive then you absaloutly have to give him meds" and idk who to trust with this.

Thanks :)

Hi there,

It’s completely up to you to decide to use medication or not. Try looking into the side effects and how it affects people. Some say that medication helps, others say the opposite. Everyone is different, and I’m not an expert or doctor, so I can’t say if medication is right for you.

I hope this answers your question. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have s nice day/night. ❤️

[gentlenotes-moved]

So glad to hear that you finally have answers! I'm sure it's gonna make everything at least a bit easier to deal with! I hope that whichever plan of action your doctors now decide to take works quickly and without any problems for you. Beautiful souls like yours don't deserve to be in agony 😓😣

And don't you even dare feel guilty for not coming on Tumblr much now. Your health, physical and mental, is the most important thing!!!

(Me? I've been... existing 😅)

(also, I didn't realise we were mutuals until like a minute ago lol)

first of all, so sorry for the late response! and even if you are just existing, i hope that this existence is treating you gently and lovingly 💗 (and yeah! we're moots now yay!! <3)

but yeah, a definitive answer is really nice. a few days ago they actually sent in a letter saying: "visceral hypersensitivity/overactive nerves sending inappropriate signals to the brain. There is actually no acid reflux." he said it's best treated with low dosages of antidepressants. he also recommended me to get testing done for gastroparesis, and if that comes back "unremarkable", we'll focus treatments on functional dyspepsia.

i have noticed lately that i have had really bad brain fog, esp since this has all started. i've been having a really hard time concentrating, almost constantly fatigued, zone out a fuck ton more than i usually do, and am asking people to repeat themselves quite literally every time they speak, because it all sounds like absolute gibberish. also, (tmi warning), in the past 4 months, i have only had one (1) period that lasted one (1) day. one day. it wasn't even a heavy flow either. my last regular period was when the day this whole situation started, in late november. and i'm currently exactly 3 weeks late for one. like i get the cramps and everything that you get with a period, except the blood.

so... i think this whole brain and nerve thing is going a LOT deeper than just my dyspepsia like systems. i haven't brought any of this up to my doctor, but the next time i see her, i'm gonna. but i have no damn clue what i'm gonna do at this point tbh. (personal/family rant incoming)

my dad is one of those extremely die-hard conservative trumpers, and a MASSIVE conspiracy theorist (just search up qanon; it'll explain everything i'm about to tell you). he was extremely against me getting the endoscopy, saying that my mom and i didn't mention me getting anesthesia (i did mention multiple times throughout the week before I got it done bc he was so damn worried), and him and my mom fought the morning I got the endoscopy done, just before we left.

when we got back, it was absolute hell for about a week, for my mom and i both. he told me that we betrayed him and that someone 'gave me permission' to not follow his instruction (I am 18 when he tells me this btw). then he said that if my mom and i ever question his rules or instruction again, he'll leave us or, worse, [a threat that i don't feel comfortable sharing here] for a week, he accused me of working for my mom's past sexual abuser, and of things i also don't feel comfortable sharing here. and then a week later, everything is perfectly fine. just like that. i'm used to extremely sudden mood and emotion changes in this family; i've been dealing with it for about a decade now (verbal abuse followed by lots of affection through words and gifts over and over). but this isn't my problem at the moment.

throughout the week, i also told him that i considered surgery for my gerd. he then proceeded to tell me that if i even considered doing that, or whatever the doctors say, i'm a retard, and that i clearly don't need him anymore (bc im not following his instruction) and he'll just leave us. and that we don't need him, we just have to "say the words" and he'll be out. so.

when we got this letter, he kept on saying how dumb and uneducated my doctors are (my dad's a high school drop out btw). i don't exactly remember what he said, but it was something to the effect of me needing to drink more water and eat healthier food, but I told him that's what we started with when i found out I had gerd and IBS 5 years ago, and it did nothing. he stood there, silent, for a solid 10 seconds before saying "......you know antidepressants can change your change you and fuck you up forever, right?". and at that point i just kind of gave up.

also my mom was attempting to explain the letter to my dad in the car ride home from picking her up from work, but she said he kept yelling and interrupting her, and just not listening to any explanationa she had to give; i wasn't there for that part.

but in conclusion: i know i'm 18 and can make my own decisions. i know he can't legally stop me from anything now. but for some stupid, insanely stupid reason, i just subconsciously hold my dad's validation more important than my lifelong health.

i even told my mom about all of this, that i'm stuck between my dad's acceptance and my lifelong health, but i also can't seem to say anything either way that will make him happy. And she just said "we'll you're fucked (with making my dad happy), either way, right? why don't you pick the one that comes with you being healthy?" and that actually straightened it out a bit for me.

but like. i still feel IMMENSE guilt whenever i do something that displeases or angers him even in the slightest. i don't know why im hanging my entire self worth one person, him, and i know just how fucked up it is. but it's like i can't stop. i just... i don't know. the situation just seems to be 'do i take care of myself, and him be angered towards me/leave me, or do i neglect my better judgement for the acceptance of my father?'

so that's what i'm currently dealing with at the moment lmfao. thank you so, so much for the ask, and i'm sorry the response was a college final essay. i sincerely hope with all my heart that today/tonight treats you well. 💞

[schizopositivity]

how do you deal with knowing you need medication but not trusting the pharmaceutical industry?

i.e. “they just want to make us sick so we keep buying medicine, it’ll just harm & give me brain damage”

i have a few different ways i can answer this, so ill just say them all so you can have options on what feels nice for you to think about (also i wanna say this is a totally valid fear and you should never be ashamed to express this idea to the people in your life).

•the pharmaceutical industry is highly regulated, everything must be approved before going out to the public through clinical trials that prove the med is more affective than placebo.

•most meds are adminsitered by drs and pharmacists, who are real people that usually care about helping other people and theres so many of them, you would think if any had a reason to doubt meds as a whole they would say something or quit.

•there are countless real testimonies of real people saying how meds have worked for them and improved their lives.

•for me personally meds were life changing, specifically antipsychotics, i couldnt function or surivive well without them, since being on them for years i have such a greater quality if life and thats why i stand by meds.

•not all meds are needed for your whole life. ive known plently of people who have been on antidepressants or different meds that over time didnt need them anymore or even drs suggesting they stop them because they can be fine without them. if they wanted to keep you on meds to keep you sick they wouldnt do that.

•some meds youll just have to be on for the rest of your life, not because they dont work, just that the symptoms it helps with will always be there and will always need managing. some people need to be on medication to even just survive, if it werent for the meds theyde be far worse off. and for me ill always be schizophrenic, ill probably always need to be on antipsychotics because they improve my life a lot and without them i wouldnt be able to function.

•not all meds cost money. it really depends on your income level and where you live but for me, im on my states low income free insurance that covers the cost of all my meds. i have not paid any of my own money for medication. i wish meds could be free for everyone obviously but sadly the reality is its not. but not all people on medication (especially in other parts of the world) pay for their meds with their own money.

•this can be a dangerous mindet to have and hold true, because where does it stop? this mindet could lead to you not taking antibiotics for an infection and it getting much worse, or not taking life saving meds, or not taking meds that prevent things form getting worse, or keep you from getting vaccines for preventable diseases. i say all this not as an abstract i know people personally who think this way and reality hit them hard during the pandemic (like someone i know irl didnt get the vaccine and then got sick and had to be hospitalized for weeks to stay alive, if the industry wanted them sicker they wouldnt create or give out vaccines for free).

i know it can be hard to believe in something like this, but your health is the most important thing, and if meds can help you than thats what matters. not all meds work the same for everyone so if you do start meds make sure to meet with your perscriber regularly so they can change doses or change meds to find the right fit for you.

[pupuseriazag]

Tw: venting (mentions of death trauma, family problems, etc)

I think I am going through another episode like years ago, I have tried my best to keep myself stable and silence the dangerous and panic inducing thoughts but I dont know how much more I will be able to endure.

For those that dont know, I have major anxiety and phobia to death. In 2021 I had to be taken to a psychologist because I broke down in my moms arms, not being able to stop the constant storm of my brain making me panic about how one day Im not going to be here,that I could die any moment and I dont have a guarantee of whats going to happen after that... Its hell, its horrible I love living so much and I know I should already have processed the thoughts... But I cant man. I cant and its horrible to live like this.

I was medicated with anxiety pills (my mom was afraid I could get addicted to antidepression pills until months later another doctor actually prescribed them to me) and ever since I "became better" I've been feeling guilty to ask her to buy me more because I dont want to worry her more.

Before turning 18 I NEVER visioned myself getting to live 24. I cried the early morning I turned 18 because I just didnt knew what to do. I still dont know what to do.

Im at 24 and Im getting let down more and more by life. Situation at home is still shitty and I just... Dont see a way for us to leave here.

Its been 5 fucking years since we began searching for a home to move away from my dad (to clarify: my dad is not physically nor verbally abusive. But he is a cheater, a selfish person and emotionally manipulative jobless liar.) and we cant... We just cant. Everywhere expects you to be paying 400$ a month for a one room apartment or 90k for a home thats falling apart, we cannot afford to move to another departament because of my university and her job. Traffic from other cities like San Marcos, San Martin and even Mejicanos is just too fucking much. Its already too much where we live.

Even if I had a job, we couldnt be able to move somewhere better, we have been stuck here for 5 years, two fucking years taken from covid and 3 to try to stabilize ourselves after that (plus his medical bills after he got kidney stones riiiight after leaving his job, very fucking convenient)

We cant even move to my grandma's or my mom's sister's house. They live on the other side of the country and they have always been very vocal about being against my mom and siding with my dad. And even tho we have the support of some of my dad's sisters... We just cant move to their home.

Everyday I wake up here is like being stuck in a time loop. Every day is the fucking same and I just find a way to distract myself before being yanked back to reality, same with my mom. And you know the worst? I also have to be my moms therapist.

Im tired man, all of this is driving me crazy and the hopelessness I feel when I realize my position is just... Overwhelmingly sad. I hate this life, I hate the life I was given and I hate being brought to a broken family, I hate that my life could have been better if ONLY my dad was not a piece of shit cheating on my mom and putting HIS family side before us, I hate that things could have been so... So much different if only he was a good person. Im not strong enough to continue pretending its not affecting my mental health, no wonder the intrusive thoughts increased these months... These past days.

I feel miserable, I feel worthless, I feel like everything is not worth it. I have insomnia until like 4 am and I panic when I cant find anything I can listen to so I can get some sleep. I havent been able to draw because I dont feel its worth it... I have only been able to distract myself playing and going to uni.

And even putting my family problems aside, I still cant find joy or hope. National news and seeing how this country its being turned into the gringos/politicians playhouse, how even if my life was "better" Im still in danger for being a queer afab person. How people still have blind faith in a fascist regime and money runs lower and lower for the working class meanwhile they proudly announce the inauguration of gentrified beaches and zones of San Salvador, displacing markets and historial establishments to put a fucking starbucks and other multinationals to be more gringo friendly while zones like Apopa and Soyapango are heavily militarized and the police can just say you are linked to the gangs to abuse you.

On top of that coming to terms that I may not end up working in anything art related and having to accept thar if I ever get a job Ill have to rot in an office, seeing how even tho I want to stay away from the norm I feel forced to join it... And that also means having to ""accept my prewritten gender role"".

Everyday that passes feels as if life will force me to live as a straight cis woman or otherwise I will just have to accept being alone the rest of my life.

I know Im being too negative right now, Im letting out how I've been feeling because lately its just been... Too much. Last night I even had a small disagreement with my mom because Im just not in the mood for being her therapist during this we're dealing. I know my dad is an asshole and I know hes using the few money he has to pamper his other woman instead of helping with the bills, I already know he tries to lie to us and acts as the victim. Its tiring to go through the same conversation about him everyday.

So yeah, back to my life... I just wish for some peace you know? I wish for a house where I can actually see the sky from my window and not worrying about at least my family problems. Srry for the sudden emotional explosion

[whumpfish]

Reference Post: Mood Stabilizers

I see way too many "how to write depression/bipolar" guides written by relatives of people who have it that talk about meds numbing emotions. Most of the time based on some conversation with an older relative, completely ignorant of how far psychiatric medicine has come just in the last 15 years. Today's stabilizers are more sophisticated, more subtle.

Mine don't numb my emotions so much as intercept them, box them up, and put them on a shelf in the back of my brain. They're still there, I just don't have the immediate physical response to them, especially crying. It's rare for me to end up crying about something in direct response to whatever it is. My meds swoop in, box that shit up, and say to my brain "we cannot do anything about this, and we still have to do normal tasks today, so let's not have a breakdown."

That's good! It's useful! I definitely don't miss crying a lot. But it does make me really self-conscious. I worry a lot about people thinking I don't care, or that I'm emotionless or there is otherwise something wrong with me because I skip the outward expression of things.

At the same time, if I don't have things to do, I have to be careful, because it's all still there. And something else can come along and dump the contents of that box all over the floor. Then I can't always stop the reaction.

It's usually music that will set me off, or a movie or something. I lost my dog of 16 years and couldn't cry for a year until I saw a Pixar short about a puppy who won't eat vegetables, and cried the rest of the night. I felt like crying, but meds said no, so I had to wait to get ambushed by Pixar.

I recently found out that a friend of mine died suddenly not long after I fell out of touch. Spent 2 weeks feeling weird and sad, then this scrolls by on Pinterest

And now I can't stop crying.

Antidepressants and mood stabilizers don't turn people into emotionless robots. They just affect the way we show extreme emotion, and the schedule on which those emotions arrive.

It is surreal to live through, and so much more complex than "I wish I could feel things but now I can't because meds."

[untitledinstinct]

I am going to have to take a little time away from tumblr. (Hopefully just a couple days)

I don't have enough money for my pain/ptsd/mood medication, and don't want to act or say shit I don't mean.

I'm I'm a bad mental place, and don't know how long until I can get my medications.

Seeing things on here (food) that I'm nearly addicted to, while feeling like such shit, when I can't afford a bag of milk or medication the rest of this, and all of next month triggers bad feelings from my bpd.

I have borderline personality disorder, and it's hell to deal with on the best days.

The only thing I can do when I'm in a spell is recluse because I'm not... I'm basically a broken human.

The specific way my combination of disorders come together, basically make it so everything about me is broken in one way or another, and that I'll never be able to maintain, or have relationships or friendships or really any human connection.

I am invalid

Now, not everyone with bpd is this way. Most aren't.

There's over 117 different ways it can present, as well as the fact I have multiple other disorders intertwined with it.

I have done 12 years of all different types of therapies, and workshops. I have all the skills needed, but one disorder will trigger the next, and the next, and the next, and suddenly I don't know what day it is or what happened the last two.

I'm on a large amount of antidepressants, to the point every doctor I see questions it.

300mg effexor

275mg lamotragine

300mg welbutrin

1mg resperidone

For depression only.

I have also been prescribed medicinal Marijuana (in Ontario - legal) and that's the one I can't afford.

That one helps with pain, depression, c-ptsd, and panic disorder w/ agoraphobia. (Some of my dx's) this is the one I can't afford this month. It's the one that carries most of the weight.

Honestly the only reason I didn't get shock therapy is because I needed a ride home, and didn't have one, and couldn't afford a cab.

Please remember it's the specific combination of symptoms of 6+ psychiatric diagnoses. Very, very, very few people with any of my dxs will be affected this way.

People with bpd get a bad rap of being bad people. Bpd is basically like our mind is as sensitive as a 3rd degree burn - the slightest interaction, can cause a big reaction in our brain that we can't always control. It doesn't mean we don't try. It means we learn when to pull ourselves away to calm down.

Adding for luck.

If you're able to help with cost of medication, my PayPal is: https://www.paypal.me/thatguyyates

Nothing that comes in will be going to food/groceries until medication cost is covered (unless specified)

Currently at $75/$205 but a service fee is coming out soon

(Not all medications or health issues have been added. Not all are needed in here)