#how can I look upon it as a dismissal or disregard of Donna’s character?

[dreamerwriternstargazer]

I think this post misses the mark a bit on Donna and her dream husband.

It is BECAUSE she is constantly ignored and talked over that Moffat writes her fantasy as a man who always listens.

The fact is, the dream world Donna is in, the libraryverse or whatever you want to call it, isn’t supposed to be the ideal world that Donna deserves, it’s supposed to reflect her desires and her dreams the most

That means we see her dream of motherhood, of a family, and of being listened to

And yes while we can criticise the way this is framed to be read, the way Donna is going on and on and her family around her is completely silent does appear to be a little insensitive, I do think for the most part it’s actually meant to be presented as sympathetic. Her husband doesn’t appear to mock her silently or deride her, her children love her, her husband loves her and she loves him dearly as we see before she leaves. There’s a somber tone to the scenes where she’s talking away to her family and they’re silent because we the audience know it’s not real, but the fact Donna is happy and passionate makes it all the more tragic. The fact that they are completely silent signals that this dream is merely a dream, and not truly the right life for her, I don’t see it being played off for laughs though it can be read that way, it’s just a signal to us and to Donna that this is wrong, it’s being listened to but completely absent of all the meaning. It’s like when they show a distorted reflection of someone in a horror movie, think the Other Mother, Coraline’s wants are completely valid and we never think they’re anything less. The distortion of the button eyes and the request to sew her eyes, the not-quite-right element of the world is supposed to reflect the disingenuous nature of the dream, and that’s true for Donna too

Moffat more than anything knows how to create that eldritch horror in a modern setting, and he encapsulates that perfectly by presenting us with Donna’s dream of being listened to as her prison that she is heartbroken to leave. To be gifted one’s heart’s desire only to learn it was secretly a nightmare, that is tragic and not okay and I don’t think we’re supposed to view it in any way other than that.

It is nothing less than a triumph for Donna to finally get the man of her dreams and of her reality, a full, real person who listens and RESPONDS, who supports her, who cares about her, and who can vocalise it. Truly the embodiment of it will be replaced with better, beyond what you can imagine.

But I don’t think it would hold nearly as much meaning if we didn’t have the tragedy of seeing Donna’s dream pulled from her beforehand, I don’t think we’d understand the gravity and significance of her happy ending, to know the sigh of relief she must have given

one thing I love about the recent specials is the character of shaun Temple, and in turn what this reflects about Donna's characterisation, and showing how RTD understands her (she is his character) so much better than Moffat (who is a sexist, classist wanker, so no surprise).

The two vastly differing understandings of Donna are reflected through Donna's Happy Ending Husbands, Shaun and the one from silence in the library I will refer to as Bob, because I can't even remember if he has a name.

(disclaimer that i haven't watched silence in the library for a couple of years)

We don't see much of either of them, but it's clear Shaun is a good guy. He loves and supports Donna (and Rose!). He values her opinion.

Now, Bob. No hate on Bob, I'm sure he's a great guy too. Lots of hate on Moffat, though. He portrays Donna's ideal life as married to a guy who can't talk, so she can talk over him, never shut up, because she's always talking, having a go at someone, and now she's happy with a husband and kids who can't tell her to shut up.

This is just such a massive misunderstanding of Donna, and it annoys me so much.

There's this quote from series 4, along the lines of Donna "shouting at the world because no one's listen", which I think summarises it quite nicely. She's a temp, and no one gets her coffee. Lance wasn't particularly nice to her. For the first 30-odd years of her life, her mother was constantly nagging her, chipping away at her self esteem. The whole idea of Donna thinking she's no one is so prevelant in both the Runaway Bride and s4.

She shouts at the world because otherwise it doesn't listen to her at all, because she has to fight to be appreciated and valued, and even then, pre-s4, she still isn't listened to.

And Shaun listens to her and actually values her and what she has to say, instead of being unable to stop her talking constantly, enforcing her thoughts on everyone and not at all considering of what other people might want to say.