#how are you gonna mar anyone's fandom experience

[gydima]

Tonight I'm considering: How can anyone stand to spend so much time and energy making posts hating on a silly little character and/or the people who like him? Tying themselves into knots to read the worst possible intentions into not just a fictional character, but also a bunch of real people who enjoy his angry, maladjusted pirate antics?

This guy! This is who people are so worked up over!

Couldn't be me. 🤗

[maddogqs21]

Hey Everyone,

I am wanting to start writing fanfiction, and I have two that I am working on for the smiling critters fandom. I was just curious as to if anyone would be interested in it. I have one that is a one-shot collection, but the other, which I am calling “New Beginnings” (for now), would be a multi chapter fic. Pretty much it would be how the kids that later became the critters met, and then a few more arcs.

I would like to note this about the tags, there will be a romantic relationship tag, but that would only apply to the prologue and mentions to it throughout that only would apply to the older version. Anyways, the teaser is under the cut. I am working on character info so I have a few paragraphs here and there about the characters before the first chapter, so I may post them later

Skittering was all he could hear from his cell. It had been a long time since he had seen the sun, even longer if you don’t count the playcare sky as having a sun. He missed the light, how it used to invigorate him, now it is a stark reminder of how fake everything was. He hung his head, shaking it. How could it have all gone wrong? He should hate his best friend, he really should, but all he felt in his heart was a deep pain. As he looked up, he remembered the conversations they would have. They had all been stung up like he was currently, but one by one, they were dragged off, never to be seen again.

Kickin had been to his right, and was the first one to disappear. He remembered their conversations, always a mix of pessimistic and optimistic, to at times, extremely ridiculous. He could almost hear Kickin’s chuckles at his own bemusings. In the early days, they would just add on to the other’s words.

“Hear me out, I know that this is a really dumb idea, but, stay with me here…” Kickin snickered at himself, unable to finish his sentence.

”Let me guess,” Bubba groaned, “this is another one of your ‘I have been thinking about this for a long time, and I think I should tell you, but if I would have said it earlier, I would have been beat one way or the other’, and based off our previous conversation about the fake sky, you are gonna say something about us being abducted by aliens? Or is this the one where you think we are on our way to Mars as we speak to take care of a space station before they decide to send kids up.”

Kickin only burst out into laughter, as Hoppy shouted, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME? HE GUESSED IT AGAIN?” DogDay heard scraping and heard Crafy’s “At this point, we should just let Bubba translate Kickin’s musings before he even says it. This is the 486th time,” and Picky’s “Honestly, when are they going to admit that they have been dating for years! He knows Kickin like the back of his hand, and I swear Kickin has figured out all the ways to get him to-“, “KICKIN, WHY IN THE HELL WOULD SOMEONE WANT TO-“, “SCIENCE, BUBBA, SCIENCE!”, “WHAT ARE YOU EVEN ON RIGHT NOW?” Bubba’s voice cracked, everyone just bursting out into laughter.

“These are the times that I wish they would just-“, but before Bobby could finish her teasing remark, all of the girls burst out laughing. Little did they know, that this was their last time laughing for years to come.

He shakes his head of the memories, sighing sadly at the trail of Kickin’s blood that went right in front of his cell. He had dislocated both of his shoulders, and with Bubba’s instruction, learned to put them back into place. But as he stepped out of the cell block, everyone froze, his blood curtailing screams echoing for what felt like hours. The next thing he knew, the mini critters started tearing into the chicken. He could have sworn he heard Bubba choke out a sob as Kickin reached for the elephant before the others head hit the ground with an echoing thud.

”Dammit,” he swore, as he felt the mini’s eating away at him. Must be time for them to eat. He closed his eyes as each bite started to fade away in his mind. How he wished he was young again, free from the knowledge, experiences and pain.

His mind takes him to his happy places. The little houses that the playcare had made for them based off of the cartoon, to the last time they all ate together before going to the playcare, but his most favorite place was the playground where he met the ones he cared about most, back when he was only 7.

[theshiaxartistwrites]

Heir to Eco

Fandom: Jak and Daxter Rating: Mature Tw: Violence, Abuse, Torture AO3 Link

Chapter Two

To be honest, Sig was more than a little disappointed that Jak was most certainly not the boy he was looking for. Sure, it should have been obvious, given Jak's age, but everything else had lined up so perfectly. Blue eyes, green hair, sun-starved brown skin, mute, and he had survived the Baron's eco experiments with barely a twitch. Not to mention how Jak had been the Baron's 'special guest'. It felt so right, yet Sig had to live with the fact that he had failed to find little Mar and now had to start over in his search.

When Sig first arrived, he learned that the Baron had rounded up all the children in Haven. Even now his patrols stole children off the street. "To keep them safe" is what he told the citizens, but Sig had seen the bodies. Even now, whenever he'd see a little face in a window or hear the soft cries of a babe, Sig would have done everything in his power to drive any other KG officers away. His search for Mar was not going to result in more children going missing on his watch.

Still, he didn't feel too bad about saving Jak from the clutches of Baron Praxis and his horrible prison. Sig felt a chill run down his spine, thinking back to how Praxis had just stood there and glared as Jak, a teenager, a child, had screamed and squirmed in excruciating pain. He swore if he saw Praxis or his crony again he'd shoot first and deal with the consequences later. The only regret he felt was not acting in the moment.

A rumble in the pipes pulled Sig's attention away from the pot of yakcow stew he was stirring, ears twitching as he listened to the guttural sputter overhead. A minute later and a small knock on the door caught his attention, Jak stood there in the simple white shirt and tan trousers Sig had left him, looking distraught and still very wet from his shower.

"What's up, ki-uh-Jak?" Sig put a lid on the pot and stepped over, frowning as Jak tugged on his hair and signed something.

"Er…" Sig really needed to learn PSL or they were going to struggle. Jak frowned and moved to the sink, turning on the faucet. No water came out, but the pipes overhead repeated their gurgle and the faucet sputtered out a watery black sludge. Jak turned it off after a moment, wrinkling his nose at the rancid smell that came with it.

"I see," Sig sighed, looking at Jak's extremely concerned face. "Don't fret, chili pepper, you didn't use it all up." He teased, holding back a laugh when Jak seemed relieved.

"No." The pair turned to face Torn, who stood in the doorway looking grim. "But the Baron just shut off water to this part of the city."

"Shit." Sig growled.

'How do we fix it?' Jak asked firmly, a look of surprise crossed Torn's face.

"Only way to fix it would be to slip out an old drain pipe in the security wall, make it outside the city to the Pumping Station, find the main valve, and turn the water back on."

"Sounds like a cakewalk." Sig said confidently.

"Sure, except we've got reports of metalheads patrolling the area en mass and The Shadow doesn't want anyone doing solo missions anymore…not after what happened with-"

Sig held up a hand, seeing how upset Torn was getting.

'We can go.' Jak signed, even Sig seemed to understand.

"You wanna tag along?" Sig asked in an amused tone. Jak nodded.

"Not a chance," Torn shook his head. "You've got no training, no armor, no weapon-"

'And I can still fight better than any of the Baron's men.' Jak smirked.

"If your face is anything to go off of," Sig put his hands on his hips. "I really do need to learn Sign." He laughed as Torn dragged a hand down his face.

"It's out of the question." Torn doubled down. "We don't even know if you CAN hold your own, let alone if we can even trust you."

"Oh come on, Torn, you're really gonna test the poor bastard? Surviving maximum security isn't enough?"

"Not anymore." Torn sneered, turning on Jak with a serious look.

'Bring it on.' Jak met his eyes with a steeled look of his own.

"Dead Town, out the north eastern gate. Steal the Baron's banner from atop the ruined tower and bring it back to me, survive, and then we can have our little chat."

'Fine.' Jak turned for the door, stopping when Sig put a hand on his shoulder.

"Cool your jets, chili pepper, you ain't even got shoes on yet."

Jak looked down at his feet. He'd removed his wraps when he'd showered and hadn't bothered to put them back on since they were filthy. Still, Jak's feet were rough and calloused from years of wear and tear, he'd kicked lurkers in the jaw with naught a scratch and run circles around guards on steel floors for two years. He could handle running around town.

'Don't need them.' Jak said, looking up at Sig, though it was Torn who responded.

"So you're stupid as well as stubborn? Fine, but if you want them later, you get to find a pair yourself." Torn warned, honestly a little irked by how Jak waved him off dismissively.

"Alright, but you're still eating first," Sig spun Jak around and pointed to the table. "No dangerous missions on an empty stomach."

20 minutes and a bowl of watery stew gulped-down-like-he-was-dying later and Jak was climbing onto a zoomer behind Sig, who had just finished a debrief with Torn behind closed doors. Jak had put the tattered jacket back on, sleeves ripped off to make it a vest, and had found new clean wraps for his hands and feet. The red scarf he'd had before was now draped loosely around his neck. Jak took a moment to admire the larger man's strange bone-like armor.

"Metalhead skulls," Sig said proudly, when he noticed Jak's entranced stare. "Bagged 'em all myself, got a gal here in Haven who makes the best armor. Maybe we'll get a few for you while we're out there."

Sig was absolutely joking, but the way Jak grinned and squeezed his waist made him consider it. Torn stepped outside with a small device in his hand.

"Here," He held it out to Jak. "This is a polydroid communicator, it also has a map, camera, and tracker. If you die out there, remember to give it back."

Jak rolled his eyes, but took the device and tucked it into his vest.

"And you," Torn put his hands on his hips, narrowing his eyes at Sig. "I'll catch up shortly. Do. Not. Help. Him. Am I clear? If he can't do this, he'll just end up getting someone else killed later."

"I've got it." Sig said firmly, nose wrinkling in distaste.

Torn watched as the pair hopped into the air and zipped off, a short ride just a few blocks away to a narrow space between two buildings and an odd little drop off that led to a half-sunken and muddy door. Sig did his best to ignore the wanted posters with Jak's mugshot on them. They left the zoomer tucked beside the door, hidden from the street by the drop off. Just approaching the door was enough to start the whir of mechanisms, opening to a tall, cylindrical room with another door on the other side. Sig followed Jak in, the door closing behind them.

"Lowering outer shield." Came an automated voice from above as the opposite door opened. Jak's face pinched in disgust, the air was practically putrid.

"Yeah, smells great, don't it?" Sig gave Jak a good smack on the back, walking out ahead. "Avoid the water, it's polluted enough to melt skin."

Jak followed, but paused when his toes squished into the muddy ground. God. It felt so good. Jak stood there, squishing his toes in the warm mud for a moment, grinning ear to ear. He'd spent so long walking on concrete and steel, he hadn't realized how much he'd missed the feel of real earth.

"Having fun, mudpuppy?"

Jak looked up and felt his face heat up all the way to the tips of his ears.

"Don't look so embarrassed, kid, I've done it too." Sig was still grinning at him, looking beyond amused. Sig was from the wasteland, a dry desert island, he knew how wonderful fresh mud felt underfoot. Sig once again took the lead, Jak slapping along behind him. The entire area was in intense disrepair, broken walls and crumbling buildings, all half sunken in the muddy black water. It looked a bit like a crumbling city trying to rise out of the center of a lake. The ruined tower was easy to spot at the center of it all, standing tall with a sun bleached banner waving in the wind at its peak.

"Oh look, you're already making friends." Sig chimed, pointing to a different little chunk of land where a few Glubs, green dog-sized bipedal reptiles with large toothy mouths, were standing and staring at Jak. Jak seemed unfazed, switching his attention back to the tower, eyes scanning around to find the fastest way up. Sig turned his attention back with him.

"Torn must think you're crazy if he thinks you'd actually climb that thing." Sig shook his head. "It looks like it could come down at any second. Hm," Sig stroked his chin. "If ya wanted, I could loan you my-"

Sig blinked.

Jak was already speeding ahead, running across the little bits of, mostly, dry land. Using floating wooden debris and protruding chunks of rubble to cross the muck without taking a dangerous dip. Sig tensed when he saw three Glubs crawl out of the water ahead of Jak, only to watch them fly right back in when Jak punted them like Blitz Balls. There was no hesitation in his movements, all confidence and agility.

Then Jak reached a different problem. Between him and his goal stood a Znorkle Tooth. The larger, orange cousin of the Glub, the reptile was a much bigger threat. Jak approached in the same, unabashed way he had the Glubs, aiming to run right past it. The Znorkle Tooth opened its maw, a strange sound in its throat before Jak had to dodge backward to avoid its tongue snapping inches from his face. Sig's trigger finger twitched.

Jak shifted his feet, changing his stance as the creature lumbered forward, maw open and snapping dangerously. With a small hop back and a graceful little spin, Jak brought his leg up and then swiftly down, his heel cracking down on the beast's head. It collapsed in a heap, unconscious, and Jak continued on with a happy little bounce in his step.

Sig moved closer to the end of his little piece of land, watching Jak jump and clamber his way up until he finally reached the little stone bridge that connected to the tower. Jak paused to look back at Sig, waving and grinning back at the man, who did the same.

Jak marched confidently onto the bridge.

Sig saw the crumbling of the supports before Jak did, the bridge falling away in front of him. Sig didn't even have time to call out a warning, Jak springing off the ground and rolling through the air, landing safely on the other side as the bridge fell in pieces to the toxic water below. A loud C R A C K echoed the area, the massive tower rumbling under Jak's feet as Sig watched it heave and tip, its decades of delicate balance thrown off by Jak's miniscule weight.

Sig wanted to yell at the kid to turn his ass around and get off that building, but Jak was already rushing around to the top. Sig heard the automatic door open behind him, turning his head for only a second to double check who it was before turning his attention right back to Jak. Using protruding pipes to swing higher and rebounding off of crumbling platforms, Jak went up and up and up, weaving in and out of sight, narrowly missing plummeting to his death, until he stood beside that pale old flag.

"Damn," Torn spoke up as he joined Sig at the edge of the murk. "I didn't think he'd make it."

Jak grabbed the pole and yanked the flag free, a crumbling of rock under his feet made both men on the ground suck in a breath, the ground collapsing from underneath him. Sig had to resist the urge to look away. Jak fell with the rubble, but seemed almost calm, poised as he aimed himself head down and swung the pole outward.

Snagging one of the many old eco power lines that crisscrossed the area, Jak managed to use the pole and wire like a zipline. Sig and Torn watched as Jak rode it right over their heads, letting go and landing safely on dry land. They all turned their heads up to watch the old tower fall apart, large chunks splashing heavily into the murk. Waves of toxic sludge crashing over the broken and decayed walls, Glub and Znorkle Tooth alike diving for cover from the falling debris. When the dust settled it was little more than rubble.

"Shit." Torn ran a hand over his head, still staring at the destruction. "I guess you're in."

[lovebecomeshim]

hello! your zutara posting today has finally motivated me to ask this question because I came to atla very late(last year, to be specific) and I Love It Very Much but am 1000% out of the loop as far as why what remains of fandom (at least that I've seen among my friends) is so very strongly zutara. I'm not opposed to it per se I just don't really know what has driven it to apparently be such a popular ship? can you help me understand and maybe convert me a little bit?

Hey!! Your ICON! :D I can try but I’m not sure how coherent I’ll be; however I AM sure someone a lot more competent will be willing to add to this. Either way, I’m glad you asked because my plan was to drag down as many people as possible with me.

*smacks the hood of zutara* this baby can fit so much mutual love and support!

This got so long, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to put it under a cut on mobile and it already got deleted once so I’m scared to mess with it lol. Moving on.

I’m gonna start this with a disclaimer that im on mobile so formatting is tricky and I’m also really new to atla in that I only completed my first watch through in like 2019??? So some of my info is all just based on what I’ve picked up from Discourse 👀 so anyway the sparknotes version: zutara was wildly popular from the beginning. To the point where the atla crew internally disagreed on which ship should be endgame. (Ex. Bryke [showrunners] asked the writers to rewrite The Southern Raiders to make Zuko seem less ideal for Katara than Aang [which failed, depending on who you ask]; the animation team purposefully created a visual parrallel between Oma and Shu in the Cave of Two Lovers and Zuko and Katara in the catacombs under Ba Sing Se in the Crossroads of Destiny; etc.)

The ship was popular enough that Bryke actually chose to display zk fanart at a con for the sole purpose of mocking the fans, but that’s neither here nor there. The entire episode Ember Island Players, while a love letter to/parody of the whole show, was an opportunity to address zutara’s viability as a canon pairing (while, again, mocking zutaras for romanticizing that catacombs scene). Point is! It’s always been popular but with it not being endgame, there’s got to be something that’s given it staying power.

And that’s honestly got to do with three things: their dynamic, thematic cohesion, and potential.

(You know what... you know what, it’s four things. The fourth is they’re so aesthetically pleasing together and individually. Like, they’re just good looking people [specifically when they’re grown but they’re also cute kids] and that absolutely doesn’t hurt) (but it’s not the Point, it’s just nice to point out sometimes)

The dynamic is hard to get into without also looking at the canon pairings, but I think I can do that without unnecessary bashing. It’s just that part of the magic of zutara is really highlighted by what they give to each other that their other relationships don’t.

First off, it’s classic enemies to (would be) lovers. The absolute truest form of it. It’s not too different from how CS started out: a rogue antagonist with a job to do—but no personal vendetta against the future love interest—who is deeply and emotionally invested in his personal storyline (revenge/redemption) with little regard for how it effects other people after his entire life and genuine good nature are marred by suffering, and a fierce warrior girl with a strong moral compass and her own personal investment in stopping him (protect her family and save the world doing it). Obviously frustration and animosity grew between them by the nature of them being on opposing sides, but that just lends itself to the sweetness of their later reconciliation.

The thing is that while they’re wildly different on the surface (he’s a hot-headed prince of a fascist regime who is trying to capture the Avatar to please his father; she’s a nurturing daughter of the chief who is trying to protect and train the Avatar in order to topple his father’s throne) they find out that they have so much more in common both in their experiences and their personalities.

(What follows is an excessive use of the word “both” and I’m sorry about that)(I can edit it. I can do that. That IS an option............)

They both have an innate sense of justice that they are determined to see done (zuko, at the war meeting, sticking up for the Earth Kingdom kid when the guards torment his family, choosing not to steal from the pregnant couple despite his circumstances, abiding by his word to leave the SWT should Aang come willingly, etc.; katara, literally.... at any point). They both have pretty one-track minds at accomplishing certain goals once they’ve put their mind to it, regardless of a lack of support in that endeavor (it goes without saying I guess, but zuko’s entire hunt; katara’s determination to get the earth benders to fight back, her determination to absolutely destroy Pakku until he agrees to teach her, etc.). They both lost their mothers at young ages. Their worlds are war-torn and traumatizing to them both, if in different ways, but that ultimately forces them to grow up too quickly to be wholly independent individuals. They both have issues with their fathers (for WILDLY different reasons, but). They both hold extreme prejudices that they need to learn to overcome (which ties into thematic cohesion)(bit like Lizzie and Darcy in that way but magnified by a million). They’re both extremely emotional and empathetic—which can and often does result in loud outbursts. Katara’s a bit better adjusted and can temper her anger for longer than S1 Zuko can, but they both feel that anger deeply and have no compunctions expressing it (Katara is, usually, more justified, particularly in S1. Again, S1 Zuko is severely maladjusted but at the point when they could’ve feasibly become a couple, he’s so much better off with the way he carries himself). They both struggle with feelings of inferiority in their bending abilities when confronted with prodigal benders like Aang and Azula, but have the work ethic required to double down and become two of the most powerful benders in the three remaining nations. This is a little more minor but it is a parrallel that appeals to some shippers that they both have these alter egos in the Painted Lady (notably fire nation coded) and the Blue Spirit (water tribe coded) that are pretty different from who they are day-to-day and are useful in accomplishing a purpose that they as themselves cannot.

(I’m.... I just realized that this could potentially get very long. Should I have made a slide show with bullet points??????)

Anyway, similar. I know there’s more but there’s literally so much to love about zutara that I’ll drive myself a little crazy trying to compile all the ways they’re similar. (Just gonna say that at this exact moment I went back to add more similarities.... so okay then)

Once they’ve reconciled, we see how all of these things only lend themselves to a deeper intimacy together than they share with literally anyone else. There’s a steady partnership that positions them as the mom/dad of the gaang, while also providing the support necessary to allow the other to not have to carry so much responsibility. A lot of zutaras will point out how zuko is actually depicted doing the more domestic chores that are normally relegated to Katara once he joins the gaang, since the others in the group are two 12-year-olds and sokka. The one that sticks out the most is how he makes tea for the group and then serves them, while Katara is able to just relax with her friends around the fire. Fanon expands upon this a lot to Zuko helping with the laundry or the cooking or whatever else needs doing since he, as a once-refugee, is used to doing his own domestic tasks. Before Zuko joined, Katara was the one mothering everyone, sewing for them, cooking for them, etc. She’s always tending to the needs of the group, and that includes emotionally. She does the emotional labor for the gaang 99% of the time, but when she’s the one falling apart, she’s usually doing it alone and without the comfort that she normally provides for others. Until Zuko. And that’s before they’re even friends.

Which is WHY people romanticize the catacombs of Ba Sing Se so much. Katara is verbally attacking Zuko out of her own righteous anger but also her own prejudice when Zuko, surprisingly, chooses to be vulnerable with her. He’s been on a journey that’s opened his eyes a bit, but he’s never actively chosen to expose the rawest parts of his past to anyone. But for some reason he chooses to do that with Katara of all people. While she’s yelling at him. He sees her humanity, and for once can look past his prejudice and empathize with her. And this time, when she breaks down, she gets to be comforted. Katara normally talks about her mother when she’s trying to explain to someone else that she sees and understands they’re pain, as a form of comfort to them. Here, Zuko uses the exact same tactic. He sees her and he understands. And for zuko? He’s not being shut down. He’s allowed to articulate his pain regarding his mother without being ignored and made to internalize it, and he’s allowed to process how he feels about his scar out loud without being told that he deserved it. And then he lets her touch his scar, something we’ve seen him actively avoid before. He’s completely open to her and she’s completely open to him and all it took was one five minute conversation. She was about to use the little bit of Spirit water that she had, that she was saving for something Important, to heal the scar that still daily causes him pain just because they had, somehow, connected.

Plus there’s the whole parallel to the star-crossed lovers forbidden from one another, a war divides their people—

And then zuko messes up, he regresses, he gets what he wants and he HATES it. And the sense of justice he had as a child has been restored to him against his will and he can’t think of anything he wants to do more than the Right Thing, so he joins team avatar. Before he does that though, we get to see his relationship with Mai, which is where comparison really comes in. And what we see is Zuko, fresh off of his encounter with Katara in the catacombs, trying to be emotionally honest with Mai... and getting shut down and dismissed. Which is just how Mai is and it’s fine, but not for Zuko. Still, he keeps trying, and he keeps getting ignored or scoffed at or yelled at. Which is really a larger symbol for how he doesn’t fit in his old life anymore, but again that’s about thematic cohesion. He tries to articulate his anxieties about returning home, he tries to make romantic gestures, he tries to explain how morally conflicted he’s feeling—and Mai diverts to some kind of physical affection to shut him up and a parting comment that is pretty much always, in essence, “I don’t wanna talk about this.” So they don’t. On the other hand, once zuko and Katara are friends, we see him again emotionally distraught and caught up in his anxieties about facing Iroh, and it’s Katara who comes to him and listens to him and comforts and encourages him.

Similarly, we have Aang clamming up and getting uncomfortable whenever Katara shows any negative emotion, usually resulting in him making excuses or running away. Or, in the case of the Southern Raiders, lecturing her on how she needs to just let go of her anger about her mother’s murder. People have talked this episode to death and usually better than I ever could, so imma... keep it brief. There’s a serious disconnect between Aang and Katara in his ability to empathize with Katara and her needs that has her tamping down her vulnerability and amping up her anger. He tells her that he was able to forgive his people’s genocide and appa’s kidnapping (petnapping? Theft??), which is blatantly not true but also not an entirely equal parrallel to Katara’s situation, and continues making these little remarks throughout the episode. But it’s Zuko that Katara opens up to. It’s with him that she’s able to talk about the most traumatic day of her life, and it’s with him that she’s able to get the closure she needs, cementing their bond as friends and partners. This disagreement between Aang and Katara is then... never resolved. They just never bring it up and hear what the other is saying.

There’s a fic called The Portraits of Ember Island that has a line that so completely sums up the heart of the matter for why people love their dynamic. For context, zuko has woken up early to help Katara with the cooking and they spend the whole time just letting one another talk, and zuko stops to ask why she always just lets him talk. And so she stops to ask why he’s always helping, and it goes as follows:

There’s just... so much mutual support! Trust! Intimacy!! And it just continues like that from the Southern Raiders on, listening to each other, advising each other, watching each other’s backs! And then! Literally saving each other’s lives!! I will never be over the last Agni kai. Not ever. Zuko may have been willing to jump in front of lightning for anyone, but he actually did it for Katara. And in a show, that’s the thing that really matters. It’s a fulfilled trope usually exclusively applied to romantic pairings, and it ended up applying to Zuko and Katara. And then she ran out into the middle of a fight with tunnel vision just to get to him.

Also!! Also Zuko pushing Katara out of the way of the falling rocks at the Western Air Temple!! And Katara catching him as he fell from the war balloon that he fought Azula on!! Before they’re even getting along, they’re the ones reaching for each other. They come to this place of equal ground, as partners, who watch each other’s backs, call each other out but still listen attentively and understand, and provide the support that the other has been sorely lacking up until they knew each other (whether that be from lack of effort or lack of understanding from others, or an unwillingness to accept it for themselves).

Then, trailing along under the surface of this, we see the themes of the show totally embodied by Zuko and Katara as individuals and in their relationship to one another. There’s a YouTuber, sneezyreviews, who has a, like, 2-hour explanation on why she not only loves zutara but also believes that their endgame would’ve actually elevated the writing of atla to new levels particularly because of thematic cohesion and resolved character arcs. It’s the zutara dissertation I never knew I needed, and it’s funny and eloquent and effective, so I’m just going to sum up her section on thematic cohesion to the best of my abilities and then link it for whenever you have the time. And I HIGHLY recommend it, especially if you want a full understanding of what makes zutara so great and gives it such longevity.

Guru pathik has a line that goes something like this: separation is an illusion; things that seem different are just two parts of the same whole. Iroh also tells Zuko something similar: balance and strength are achieved when the different nations come together and influence one another and celebrate what makes them each unique. And this lesson is a massive central arc that both Zuko and Katara go through, moving past a black-and-white, good guys-vs-bad guys, us-vs-them mentality and into a greyer, more nuanced view of the world. Zuko sees the fire nation from an entirely new perspective and while he still loves and hopes for his nations future, he surrenders his blind loyalty to them in exchange for an unflinching loyalty to peace and love. Katara too had to come to terms with the fact that cruel people exist in the earth kingdom and water tribes, while some fire nation citizens are just regular, kind people who also need and deserve to have someone speak on their behalf. And this is honed in directly on how they view each other. They grow in their individual journeys to be open to the humanity in the other and then, once they’ve found that, they’re able to grow more in compassion for others in a beautiful feedback loop. And this is all matched in the symbolism repeatedly and intentionally associated with them in canon: sun and moon, fire and water, yin and yang, Oma and Shu who found love despite their warring nations. Their individual arcs are completed in each other and complement the themes of atla beautifully.

The canon pairs... just don’t. Which, again, is fine. But the very things that give atla longevity and popularity are anchored in zutara. Kat@ang doesn’t accomplish this. They’re... nice. Sweet. Especially when you erase a good portion of their interactions in S3. It could’ve been just a sweet love story. (Personally, the dynamic between toph and aang accomplish the same thing that zutara does, with complementary personalities that fulfill the theme of opposites blending in harmony) M@iko, on the other hand, is less sweet but I think wasn’t even supposed to last. Zuko’s relationship with Mai seems to represent his relationship with his old life as a whole. He can’t be emotionally vulnerable, he’s goaded into abusing his privileges, his agency and opinions aren’t respected. They just don’t have common ground with which to discuss anything that matters, so they don’t. As far as themes, the relationship doesn’t fit with atla. It’s zuko returning to and sticking with what is (on the surface) like him, what’s expected. Fire nation with fire nation. Fluid water bender with the flexible air bender. Like with like, separated from what is different and challenging and complementary.

And all of these things combined of course lead to the potential for the ship. I don’t know how familiar you are with the post-atla canon but... well, miss “I will never turn my back on people who need me”, miss “I don’t want to heal! I want to fight!” ends up living quietly in the SWT as a designated healer who turns a blind eye to the water tribe civil war happening right outside her front door. Which can be fine! People change! Some people just wanna stay inside. I just wanna stay inside! But the potential future for zutara is so much more satisfying, with Katara becoming the most unconventional Fire Lady the uppity old cads who are stuck on the old ways have ever seen. Fanon has her serving as a voice for the other nations within a kingdom at the point of its biggest political upheaval, as a confidante to Zuko who can actually help him while he’s trying to figure out how to move forward and make reparations. They have the opportunity, together, to accomplish what they both have set on their hearts to fight for: positive change that lends itself to harmony and balance. And the steambabies! A popular headcanon is that their firstborn daughter, the crown princess, is actually a waterbender, which causes such an uproar among the people who are adamantly clinging to the old ways. It’s just a future full of potential to be forces for good together, full of trust, intimacy, joy. The exact era of peace and love and balance that zuko announces that he intends to ring in with the start of his reign as Fire Lord is, again, magnified by the very personal zutara relationship. And we love to see it.

tl;dr zutara isn’t for everyone. Some people just don’t vibe with it. Some are nostalgic. Some love the canon they grew up with. Some have been disappointed for years. Some just see themselves in other characters and want their happiness instead. Whatever the reason, that’s fine. But for me, I love the way these two, from the moment they give each other a fair chance, are able to lower their walls and prejudices to see the other for the kindred spirits they are. They see each other’s humanity, and their response is to pour out love and support and compassion. I love that they’re a power couple in battle. I love the symbolism and, honestly, soulmatism that colors their every interaction. I love that they embody the whole storyline of atla in their relationship and how it develops, which is notably why their seasonal arcs always culminate in each finale with how they relate to one another. I love that zuko adopting a waterbending move is what actually saves his life and then katara’s. I love the chemistry! And I love the future they could’ve had, instead of the ones they were given.

So, in conclusion: I just think they’re neat and I hope you do too, at least a little bit. Even if it’s just respectfully from a disinterested distance cause you do you. And now here is the video I mentioned. I’m sorry this post got so long and then I gave you an even longer homework assignment, but I can’t recommend it enough. She says it all better than I can.

[chloelucia13]

To Dream

Pairing: Spencer Reid x reader

Prompt: After a case takes a turn for the worst, Spencer can’t help the doubt of your future riddling his brain. But when he closes his eyes, everything is okay. If only for a moment. Based off the song “Epiphany” by Taylor Swift

Warnings: angst, a little fluff, mentions of death, language, violence, gore, it’s just a ride y’all (italics are memories, words in bold are dreams)

Word count: 4.1k

A/N: So I’ve gotten sucked into the Criminal Minds fandom, and now it’s time to do what I do best: write sad fan fiction. I hope you all enjoy! My requests are open 24/7 and so is my taglist!

Tags: @sojournmichael​

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

You’ve done this a million times. The case was so simple, so easy to dissect. 

Maybe you got cocky. Maybe you underestimated the unsub. Maybe this was all your fault.

Nausea churned in your stomach as you screeched to a halt in front of the old auto body shop. You knew that you would find a house of horrors as soon as you stepped inside, but the adrenaline in your veins told you to ignore your hesitation and the breakfast from this morning that was crawling up your esophagus.

“I’m going in,” you announced, unbuckling your seatbelt and nearly throwing yourself out of the car. 

“Y/N, wait, you need backup,” Spencer shouted after you as you hurried to the entrance.

You stopped in front of the building, turning to give him a look. “Spence, you heard his message.” 

This man, this murderer, seemed to be infatuated with the media coverage of the case. You caught on to the fact that he was following along closely with the case after he sent a haunting letter to the precinct, detailing where he was and that he would give himself up to the police, as long as his legacy would not be forgotten.

 Turns out, the media coverage wasn’t the only thing he was infatuated with. 

It was realized at the beginning of researching this case that you fit his type to a t, but you never expected that it would become this.

His other request? That you were the only one to capture him and take him into custody.

Spencer opened his mouth to argue but you cut him off. “If anyone goes in there but me, it’ll be a bloodbath,” you reminded him.

He gulped, weighing his options for a moment. “Fine. The rest of the team is on the way. As soon as you’ve got him, radio to me and we’ll send everyone in,” he instructed, worry marring his features.

“Everything’s gonna be fine. I promise, doc.” You gave him a gentle smile before turning on your heel and entering the building, your gun drawn.

The smell of coagulated blood and decomposition hit your nostrils the moment you stepped inside, making your stomach lurch. You bit down on your cheek so harshly the taste of copper tinged your tongue.

“Randy McAllister, this is the FBI,” you announced your presence, edging around the corner into the main part of the garage.

“Ah, Agent Y/L/N, I thought you’d never make it,” a voice hummed to the right of you.You turned your head to see him standing with a gun in his right hand, a woman on her knees in front of him.

“Let her go, Randy. She’s got nothing to do with this.”

He chuckled. “Oh darling, she has everything to do with this. She’s my replacement for you, can’t you tell?” He glided the tip of his gun against her forehead, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

“Then give me her, and you can get what you want.”

“You really thought I was gonna be that easy?” He clicked his tongue. “Take off your vest.”

You scoffed. “I’m not taking off my vest.”

he clenched his jaw, hovering his finger over the trigger. “Take off your vest or I’ll blow her fucking brains out!”

You knew not to question him. He’d done it five times already, so what’s stopping him from doing it again.

You slowly slid your gun into your holster before ripping the velcro apart, pulling your kevlar vest off and setting it on the ground. “There, are you happy?”

He grinned, baring his teeth like a rabid dog, before pushing the girl forward. You bent down and helped her up before directing her to run, waiting until you could no longer hear her footsteps before you drew your gun once more.

“Alright, Randy. I did what you wanted. Now drop your weapon and put your hands above your head.”

His grin slowly fell, letting his gun clatter to the ground before he rose his hands in the air, surrendering. 

You stepped behind him, yanking his hands behind his back and holding them together with one hand while you searched for your cuffs with the other. 

Everything moved so suddenly. 

A sharp crack echoed through the garage as he slammed his head back into yours, shattering the cartilage in your nose. You stumbled back, clutching onto your nose as you tried to regain your balance. 

He grabbed you by your shirt and threw you to the ground, climbing on top of you and wrapping a hand around your throat. You clawed at his hand and kicked with all your might, finally landing one solid blow to his groin. 

He swayed, and you gathered enough strength to roll him over, pinning him to the ground. 

But you didn’t account for his hands.

As you held his shoulders against the concrete, a shot rang out.

Your abdomen felt warm as the rest of your body felt as if it was stuck in a freezer. Slowly, you rolled off of Randy and laid on your back, staring up at the ceiling.

Voices began to echo around you, a muffled sound that mimicked the effect of your head being held underwater. “Agent down, we need a medic!”

Your eyelids fluttered open and closed at a snail-like pace, eyes flickering around the room to try and figure out what was going on.

And then they shot open wide as the burning sensation began, a feeling as if your organs were being shredded apart with red hot knives.

“Y/N, what happened?” 

Your eyes finally focused on Spencer’s face hovering above you, tears in his eyes. “Tis just a flesh wound,” you whispered, your lungs burning.

He glanced between you and the bullet wound in your chest. “Are you quoting Monty Python right now?”

You let out a chuckle, feeling tears begin to sting your eyes. “It’s what I do when I’m panicking. You should know that by now.” Slowly, you reached your hand down to where you felt the pain resonate, eyes growing wide when you felt something wet soak your hand. “Oh my god.”

Tears began streaking down his face, his lip caught in-between his teeth to keep from crying out. 

Without thinking, you reached your hands up to wipe away his tears, a look of terror residing on your face when a dark crimson smeared across his cheeks. “Oh god,” you gasped out, moving to pull your sleeves over your hands and try to wipe away the blood. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” The blood smeared around his cheek, and you felt the room spinning around you. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Just breathe for me. Calm down.”

You nodded, desperately trying to gasp in a solid breath, but to no avail. A sob left your lips, and you felt a rush of blood pour down your sides. “I-I can’t.” You shook your head. “I think... I think I’m bleeding out, doc.”

“No, no, don’t say that. You’re gonna be just fine.” He pulled away from your gaze for a moment to search around. “Where the fuck is the medic?!”

“Spence.”

His eyes fell back onto your face, hazel irises boring into yours as tears dripped down his face. You dedicated his face to memory, trying to remember the way his skin felt under your fingertips, the gentle scratch of his stubble, the way his hair would glide between your fingertips, worried that it you would never be able to experience it again.

“I love you,” you choked out, sniffling. “I love you so much.”

He nodded, a crease forming between his brows as he tried his hardest to contain his sobs. “I love you too. So much.”

He felt as if he died when he watched your eyelids slowly flutter closed, and then stopped moving altogether. He continued applying pressure to your wound, feeling your blood soak through his windbreaker and onto his hands.

Suddenly he was shoved away, and he watched in a daze as a group of medics quickly checked your vitals before lifting you on a stretcher and rushing you out of the building. He pushed himself to his feet and stumbled behind them, clambering into the back of the ambulance.

They attached an oxygen mask with a bag valve, attempting to pump oxygen into your lungs. He watched as your chest rose and fell, wishing it wasn’t being controlled by someone else.

The tips of your hair twirled between his fingers, a dazed look on his face as his eyes tracked each breath you took. Breathe in, gentle rise. Breathe out, gentle droop. He felt the soft rush of air against his skin, making his heart race under your cheek. 

He didn’t dare move, too worried that if he did, you would wake up. It was rare that he would see you in such a peaceful state, so fragile and unguarded. He wouldn’t dare ruin it. He never knew when it would be the last time he could witness it.

“Her vitals are crashing, she’s going into V FIB!” an EMT shouted, startling him back to the present. “Bring me the AED.” He watched as they applied two wired pads to your chest and turned up a dial, signaling before delivering an electric shock. Your body flinched from the shock, only for it to collapse back down and lay flat. 

He felt like he was going to vomit. His hands were clutching onto your free one, unable to tear his eyes away from your ashen face. 

He couldn’t decide if it would be better if you were in a black void, unaware of anything that was going on, or if you could feel and hear every single thing that was occurring. He mostly just hoped that you weren’t scared.

But the only thought on his mind, when they finally arrived to the ER and he watched you get rushed into the OR, was that he couldn’t live without you.

*** “Spence, you can head home. I’ll take over,” Emily instructed as she stepped into the waiting room, nudging his shoulder slightly.

He just shook his head, staring at the glass windows in front of him that peered into the hallways of the hospital. 

“You need to get some rest,” she persisted, sitting down next to him. “Just go lay down for a few hours, I’ll call you if anything happens.”

“I-I can’t just leave. If something happens...” Spencer mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. He couldn’t tell if he was being defensive, or if he was trying to desperately hold himself together. 

“She’s gonna be just fine. She’s a fighter.”

He let out a shuddering breath, his eyes falling closed for a moment. “The survival rate after going into V FIB is 50%.”

“Well, 50% seems like a pretty good probability to me.”

“That doesn’t account for the blood loss or oxygen deprivation. She lost over four pints of blood. The body goes into hypovolemic after losing only two pints. Any more than that, and the body will most likely fall into a coma.” 

Now he understood how everyone else felt when he spewed out facts. It was torturous, unwilling to allow him to slip away from the predicament for even a moment.

The image of your body bleeding out on the dirty floor was imprinted in his mind. Even if he didn’t have an eidetic memory, there was no way that he could ever forget it.

Emily pursed her lips. “But she’ll be alive. She might be banged up, but she isn’t gone. She’s not going anywhere anytime soon.” She squeezed his shoulder. “You know, if Y/N were here right now, she’d be yelling at you to go and take a nap.”

He let out a watery chuckle at that, sniffling slightly. “I can’t leave, Emily. Not until I hear something from the doctors.”

She sighed. “Fine. I’m gonna set a timer on my phone for 20 minutes, and you will sleep until that timer goes off. If you get up any time during that, I’m restarting the timer. Deal?”

“Emily-”

“Spencer, you know better than anybody the effects of sleep deprivation on a person. You’re not going to be any use here if you’re tired.”

He clenched his jaw, already feeling his eyelids begin to droop. “Fine. But only 20 minutes.”

***

He never thought that golden could be a feeling, until he met you. His whole being, his whole soul felt as if it was dripping with the warm yellow hue.

He may have felt golden, but you were golden. You were the sun to him, something that he treasured with his whole being but worried he would be blinded by your beauty, turned into mush from your warmth. He still risked it, staring at you for so long so he could memorize every aspect of you before his sight left him.

Your scent of sunshine and sweet morning dew lingered on everything he owned, and he was addicted to it. He could smell it now, swooning over it.

“Your hair’s getting shaggy, doc.”

Spencer hummed, fluttering his eyes open and seeing that his head was laying in your lap, the two of you perched underneath a tree in the park down the road from your shared apartment.

“Yeah? You want me to cut it?” he teased, shifting slightly to look up at you.

You grinned, ruffling his hair slightly before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. “Never.”

His eyes flickered over your face, taking in every small detail. “You’re so beautiful.”

You scoffed, gently gliding your finger along his jawline. “I can say the same for you, pretty boy.”

“I’m serious.” He huffed, sitting up and taking your hand in his, staring directly into your eyes for a moment. He mimicked your ministrations, taking his finger and tracing along your collarbone, against the angle of your jawbone, down the slope of your nose, and down the dip of your cupid’s bow. His eyes followed his finger, a small wrinkle forming between his brows. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

A grin settled on your face, gently pulling his fingers from your skin and pressing your lips to his fingertips. “What’s got you being so sappy?”

He let out a chuckle, shaking his head slightly before touching his lips to yours. “I’m so in love with you.”

A pleased sigh escaped your lips, and your eyes searched his. “I’m so in love with you too. Now will you please tell me what’s going on?” You shifted into his lap, entwining your arms around his neck and playing with his hair.

“I...” He gulped, his eyes squeezing shut for a moment. “I don’t want you to leave me.”

“Spencer.” The corners of your lips crooked into a frown and you rested a hand on his cheek. “What makes you think I’ll ever leave you?”

“Y/N, you’re dying.”

“What do you mean? I’m right here. And I know you’re not a medical doctor, but I know you’re smart enough to know when someone is alive.”

He shook his head, sniffling. “No, you-you’re laying on an operating table right now. This isn’t real. None of this is real.”

“It’s real enough, isn’t it?” 

He shot up with a gasp, immediately burying his head in his hands and letting out a shuddering breath.

“Spence, that was only eleven min-” Emily began.

He ignored her, pushing himself to his feet and propelling himself towards the bathrooms. He stumbled into the bathroom and gripped onto the edge of the sink, sucking in deep breaths until his lungs burned. Bile rose in his throat and he willed himself to keep it down, gaining enough strength to turn on the cold water and splash his face. 

A hand touched his shoulder and he stood up straight in a panic. “Calm down, man, it’s just me,” Derek consoled, holding his hands up. “Are you okay?”

Spencer shook his head fervently, running his hands over his face before pulling them through his hair. “I can’t lose her.”

Derek reached forward, grabbing Spencer’s shoulder and tugging him into a tight hug. ‘’You’re not gonna lose her. She’s strong, and she’s stubborn as all hell. If she’s gonna die, it’s gonna be by her own terms.”

And Spencer sobbed.

***

It had been over four hours, and the entire team still had yet to hear anything from the doctors. The sun had already set, and almost everyone had headed home for the night.

But Spencer was still sat in the waiting room, eyelids drooping lower and lower with each passing moment of silence.

He wanted so badly to sleep, to go back to that peaceful moment in his mind where he could lay with you and forget anything bad ever happened, but he couldn’t let himself. He couldn’t let himself succumb to a fantasy when in reality, you were laying on an operating table with multiple surgeons working to keep you alive. 

“Mr. Reid?”

Spencer rose to his feet at once, all feelings of exhaustion fleeing his body and being replaced with pure adrenaline. “Yes?”

The doctor gave him a curt nod before directing him into the hall. Spencer followed behind him and stood in a nervous silence as he watched her flip through a clipboard.

“She’s alive, and she’s in stable condition,” she explained, looking away from her clipboard.

He felt as if he was floating, a high he never even imagined was possible. 

“But she is in a coma, and probably will remain that way for the next few days.”

And there it was.

“But-But you think she’ll wake up?” Spencer rushed out, shifting from foot to foot.

“Definitely. Her body needs time to rest, but she’ll wake up as soon as she’s ready.” 

Spencer let out a sigh of relief, a small smile residing on his lips. “Thank you, doctor.”

“You’re a lucky man. We almost lost her, but she fought with all she had. She wanted to stay here.”

He knew that her claims were impossible, but there was an inkling in the back of his mind that maybe she was right. So, instead of responding, he just nodded. “Can-” He cleared his throat. “Can I see her?”

The doctor pressed her lips together in thought for a moment before nodding. “Right this way.”

He followed her through the hospital halls, leading him through the winding maze until they stopped in front of room 112. She gestured to the door before retreating, leaving him alone.

All attempts to catch his breath were futile for the moment he stepped through the door, all the air left his lungs. He couldn’t tell if he was staring at your sleeping form in horror or fondness as he inched towards your bedside, settling into the chair next to you.

“You’re alive,” were the only words he could formulate, repeating them like a mantra while he took your hand in his and pressed feather-light kisses to your knuckles. 

 Finally, he let his head rest against the thin blanket on your bed, and his eyes drooped closed. 

Poppies were your favorite flower. They symbolized peace, something neither of you were familiar with due to your jobs.

Spencer never understood how a flower could symbolize something so complex until he opened his eyes.

He was completely, utterly at peace.

You stood in a field of bright red poppies, a white dress cascading around your frame and a megawatt smile on your face.

Sunshine. Golden.

As if out of a scene from a romance movie (one that you probably forced him to watch), he ran through the fields, coming towards you. Once you were within reach, he wrapped both of his arms around your waist and clung onto you like a vice.

A breathless laugh fell from your lips as you returned the hug, letting your arms hook around his neck. “Hi, my love,” you whispered.

He knew none of this was real. He knew that every memory of you was being pulled from his brain all at once and letting him feel a moment of peace.

But he also knew that he wanted to stay here, at least for a little while.

“Hi, my love,” he echoed, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“Are you alright?” You pulled away slightly, searching his eyes as you brought one hand to cup his face. “You’re crying.”

“I’m just fine.” He gave you a smile, gently taking your hand from his face and placing your hand in his own. “I’m perfect.”

“Are you sure? Did I do-”

“Y/N,” he interrupted, squeezing your hand gently. “Everything’s fine. Don’t worry.”

You took a deep breath and nodded, letting your shoulders drop. “Sorry, I just... I know you’ve been feeling sad lately. I just want to make sure it isn’t because of me.”

His brows furrowed together, worry lines settling on his forehead. “Of course not. Why would you think that?”

“Because every time you look at me, you cry.”

Those words made his heart drop to his stomach. He knew that this was all in his mind, but it was still your voice. He felt all the hurt, all the guilt. 

“I...” A small sob bubbled in his throat, and he pulled you back into his tight embrace. “I just don’t want to lose you. I’m not ready yet.”

You nodded, gripping onto the fabric of his shirt and holding him as close as you possibly could. “Well, right now, you have me. Is that not enough?”

“But it’s not real. I need the real you.”

“Then you have to wake up, my love.”

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up

“Spencer, wake up.”

His eyes flew open, a hand immediately coming up to rub at them. “What?” he grumbled, holding back a yawn.

“God, I’ve tried waking you up for the past five minutes.”

His eyes flickered up to see a pair of Y/E/C eyes staring back at him.

“You’re awake.”

“I can say the same thing about you, sleepyhead,” you teased, weakly patting his hand. 

“Oh my god. You’re okay.” He pushed himself to his feet and hovered his hands over your face, fearful that if he touched you, you would disappear.

“I’m okay, doc.” Your words were slurred, but that was expected. He still knew what you were saying, and even if he didn’t, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that you were awake, that you were alive.

He let out an incredulous laugh as he bent down and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. “I thought I lost you.”

“You can’t get rid of me that easily.” You hands slowly reached up, letting your fingers graze along his cheek. “Hi, my love.”

“Hi, my love.” He grinned at you. “I thought you weren’t supposed to be awake for a few more days, at least.”

“I guess I just had to wake up. I couldn’t stand being gone from you that long.” You pulled your lower lip between your teeth. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I-If I wasn’t so cocky, none of this would have happened. You all wouldn’t be wondering whether I’m gonna live or not. I wouldn’t be stuck in a hospital bed with a hole in my chest. You... You wouldn’t be crying.” You gestured to the tears on his cheeks as tears began to stream down your own. “I wouldn’t be crying.”

“Y/N,” he sighed, taking your hand in his and pressing his lips to the back of it. “None of this is your fault. Don’t you ever blame yourself for this.”

You nodded with a sniffle, pulling his hand to your lips and reciprocating his actions. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, letting yourselves take in everything that was happening.

“Once you get released from the hospital and you’re healed, do you want to get married?”

Your eyes widened in shock at his words, searching his face to make sure that he was being honest. “Are you proposing?”

He shrugged, feeling his cheeks begin to burn. “I-I mean I don’t have a ring yet but... I think I am.”

“Well, if you think you’re proposing, I think I’ll say yes.”

Both of your cheeks ached from how wide you were smiling, that smile never faltering when he pressed his lips to yours and let them linger. 

“Can we have poppies at our wedding?” you mumbled against his lips.

He chuckled, nodding.

Pure sunshine.

[samsilver975]

Well, this is it boys. My final character analysis. Dream, Techno, and Tommy. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be skirting the word count here. Thank you to all of you who have been reblogging and liking the posts, it means a lot. That being said, because of the characters I’m going to be talking about and the weird split between Techno and Tommy viewers, I want to remind everyone that below are my own opinions and analyses. You are entitled to your own opinion. Well, let’s get this show on the road!

Dream:

One of the best things about the server is that there are no black and white characters. There are no good or evil, but verying degrees of gray. That said, Dream’s pretty close to black; he’s the closest we get to a main villain throughout the story. Dream’s been the underlying antagonist for a while, but I feel he’s taken a bigger role in this season. As far as I can tell, Dream’s got two motives: bringing the server together as one big family with no factions who he definitely doesn’t control, and prolonging the conflict with Tommy. Tommy is entertainment to him. Dream doesn’t want to give up the disks because then the story, Tommy’s story will end. I’m in the camp of beleiveing that if the disks return to Tommy, the plot line will essentially be over. Dream doesn’t want to part with his plaything just yet, but he can’t kill him either. After all, what happy family goes around killing its members? Horrible punishments? No! But emotional manipulation, is fine. That doesn’t just apply to Tommy: Dream manipulated Tubbo, Eret, Techno (to an extent. There’s a favor floating around still) among others. I think, if Tommy wins, Dream will be forced to either find a new plaything (I personally think Tubbo. L’Manburg is kind of Tubbo’s ‘disks’ in a way. Oh, I’m sorry, Snowchester) or he will have to kill Tommy. My speculation for tomorrow is that Tommy and Tubbo will defeat Dream, but Dream will snap and either call on Techno’s favor to in prison Tommy, or will just pull a god thing and kill Tommy outright. But that’s just a theory, a GAM-

Techno:

I’m very much a middle of the road sort of person. I pretty much watched or partially watched everyone’s perspective (from except Phil’s sorry) on Doomsday, and since then I try to catch both Techno’s and Tommy’s when they are streaming. Why do I say this? Well, you’re going to notice that I am not going to make a clear decision on who I support. I’ll try my best to keep these last two as unbiased as possible...

I’ll start by saying that Techno is... strange to me. I can’t tell if I really like his character, or hate it. I’ll begin with the negatives, I think. I don’t like how Techno points to everyone betraying him instantly. Tommy did use him for supplies and shelter and what have you, but something I find people don’t consider is that Techno used Tommy too. Tommy said over and over he wasn’t going to blow up L’Manburg, and time and time again Techno brushed Tommy aside. Techno forced Tommy to choose between a lifelong friend who’d made a mistake and been manipulated, and someone who barely deigned themselves to respect him. I saw people were really surprised by Tommy choosing Tubbo, but... was it all that unexpected. That’s not to say Techno was unjustified. He did extend his hand to Tommy, only for it to be batted away, and maybe he meant well, but he was kind of an ass to Tommy. It wasn’t manipulation like Dream did, but he did use Tommy to help him gather supplies and get into L’Manburg and what have you. I guess the real thing that defines the dislike side of things is that Techno really doesn’t try to see from other’s perspectives. He tends to take a ‘my way or the high way’ approach. Also... I don’t really know how to feel about the syndicate. I can’t tell as of yet if it is truly as open as Techno made it out to be.

Alright, Techno’s good things. A lot of Techno’s actions were justified. I feel like L’Manburg waaaaay overreacted, and Techno’s anger was extremely justified. L’Manburg, for all of its good intentions, was corrupt. It needed to fall. (The builder in me would have just preferred a coup or disbandment or something, not a chunk error, but I guess what happens happens not like you can fix anything now.) I still think Technos story will continue beyond this season. He’s still got people he needs to take down. I don’t think Tommy’s on that list actually. I mean... he didn’t kill him on sight today, and he let Tommy say goodbye so...? Either way, there are still people that need to be taken down. I feel kind of bad for Eret tbh. It’s gonna be a bumpy road for him, even if he means well. Techno also was right to be angry at Tommy. They betrayed each other, in a way. Their alliance was as doomed as L’Manburg.

Tommy:

Our protagonist. Our ‘hero.’

Like Techno, I feel there are good and bad things to be said about Tommy’s character. Unlike Techno, Tommy’s character both changed and didn’t change at the same time. I noticed a lot of people saying that ‘Tommy is so immature,’ or ‘why doesn’t he just give up the disks he didn’t change at all,’ or whatnot. My response to this is: Tommy did not have a chance to develop. He spent the season being tormented by Dream, then dragged into the anarchists where he didn’t really have a say. Why did he ‘betray’ Techno? It was all Tommy knew. He’d been betrayed over and over again himself. Tommy, for so, so long, did not experience any sort of support. Tubbo exiled him, Dream nearly destroyed him, Techno didn’t listen, and Tommy? Tommy didn’t know what to think because not once did anyone care about what he had to say, until it was much too late.

For of all his stagnation though... Tommy did change. And it all comes down to one line. “The disks are more important then you ever were.” I’m that moment, Tommy realized that somewhere in exile, or somewhere in the tundra, he’d lost some sort of humanity. In the same way that Quackity realized how much like Schlatt he was, Tommy realized how blind he’d been by his want of the disks. He was willing to give up his own best friend for material wealth. He betrayed Techno because he realized that Tubbo was more important. Ever since then, Tommy has been a bit more attentive to other people. He apologizes to Tubbo and Connor. He offers IOU’s to people, which doesn’t seem like a big deal, but would old Tommy have done that? But then, why continue to go after the disks? Well, something changed in that motive to. Before, Tommy wanted the disks back because, “The disks were mine and he stole them from me.” He wanted them back because having them stolen was an insult that needed repaying. Now though, I think Tommy wants them back because he truly believes that it would solve conflict. He doesn’t want them back for himself anymore, he wants them back because that’s the only way to achieve peace. Whether that is true or not, I can’t say. I also saw a lot of people wondering ‘why the disks. Why were they so important to him in the first place?’ The disks represent the good old days. When it was just a server playing Minecraft. Before L’Manburg and Techno and Wilbur and hto dog vans and exiles, before everything. That’s why they are so important to him. They represent memories. Peace. Happiness Tommy hasn’t felt since then. It’s why it’s so hard for him to let them go. Letting them go would be letting the memories go; letting the people attached to those memories go. Tommy is trapped in the past. I by no means support the obsession, nor do I find it justifiable... but it is understandable.

Let’s see... I already touched on why Tommy left Techno... so let’s finish off with some interesting things that Tommy has learned. As awful as Dream was to him, Tommy learned somthing very important from him. Sentiment is a weapon and a bargaining chip. He secures Sapnap’s Loyalty by returning Mars, Sapnap’s ‘disks’, an item of sentiment to him. I also think of the pair, Tommy is better equipped to let L’Manburg fade then Tubbo. If Tommy succeeds, I wonder what will happen. And does loosing mean dying. Tommy thinks it does, but loosing to Dream could mean many different things. The battle tomorrow will not be so straightforward as Tommy seems to think. We wait with bated breath. For some dark levity at the end of it all. If Tommy wins, Niki’s gonna off ‘im anyway so...

Thanks for reading! If you made it all the way down here, kudos. I hope you enjoyed. I hope to post more in the future, not only DreamSMP, but other fandoms as well. I’ll see you all later!

[redxblueihateloveyou]

i'm curious, what are your top 10 favorite rinharu moments in high speed and high speed 2?? i love the books. i don't understand why people say is impossible to ship rinharu if you read them...

Lmao who are those “people”? As in multiple? And are they from Mars? I do not get this. You cannot be serious. You probably meant “impossible not to ship”?

I don’t know about top ten, I love all of their interractions tbh, they just remind me of my fav type of romance in general. I know what are my top 5 I think, but after that I love everything, so it’s hard to rate.

1. My absolutely favorite moment will forever be the one, where Rin describes the way he sees Haru in the water, I’m seriously forever in awe, because, I’ve read a lot of books, and like... even period dramas got nothing on Rin Matsuoka, when he describes the love of his life. I mean, seriously, find yourself a person who sees you the way Rin sees Haru lol

Rin felt like he was touched by the light, that surrounded him with warmth. He turned around to see Haruka, who was glowing. Shining. Haruka was shining with every strong and confident stroke that he made. The outstanding energy, emitted from him, surrounded Haruka with the dazzling light and Rin froze, unable to look away. Rin’s heart was beating so hard in his chest, that he forgot how to breathe. Haruka stole his heart. And the further away he got from him, the more distance grew between them, the more uneasy Rin felt, like he was losing the control over his emotions. He was possesed by Haruka’s shining. His strokes looked as if he was hugging the water, his leg movements were so effortless and so elegant, as if water herself was moving him to the finish line. But in all these deceptively smooth and unhurried motions were so much strength and power and such incredible speed, that all his opponents didn’t stand a chance. His swimming was that transcendent reality. He was like a bird dancing in the sky with its wings spread wide.”

Dude... I’m like... still speechless. I mean, and not just this, but everytime Rin talks about Haru, even when he jokes about his stupid habbits, you still feel that he finds him so beautiful, inside and outside, that it just makes my heart melt. 

2. When Aki tells Rin that if you put him and Haru together, you get a perfection. 

“That guy has no sense of humor. He should learn by watching me, don't you think?" Rin joked lightly.

Aki laughed a bit at his words. "It's true. Add the two of you together and divide by two, and it would be perfect."

But I mainly love that moment, because like... Aki starts telling him, that Haru is not what he's pretending to be (like for some idiots in the fandom who call him selfish, that was the explanation for them xD) and how everyone always want something from him, and he never asks for anything in return and doesn’t have anyone to lean on (yup that’s what I said all along, too, with Makoto’s dumb behavior in difficult situations, he’s on his own there lmao). And she waits for Rin to deny it or like be surprised, but it turned out that that’s exactly how Rin sees him and that he cracked him from the very beginning. BTW, here’s your addition to the ask about Rin loving Haru for who he is and seeing him for who he is. I’m just in love with that moment, because I’m happy that he just... not only he knows him, but bc he’s not one of those many idiots who just don’t get it.

"Nanase-kun seems like he can do anything all by himself, doesn't he? He's good at studying and sports and even art. He really can do anything, right? That's why everyone relies on him, but it would really be something for Nanase-kun to rely on anyone, wouldn't it?"

Rin certainly thought this was true. He had only just transferred, but the image that Rin had of Haruka was exactly that. But even if Haruka didn't have the will to go out and get involved with other people on his own, it wasn't like he was completely isolated. On the contrary, he was considered the most reliable person in their class, and when people relied on him, he always did his best to meet their expectations. This was the strange balance that people around Haruka had to maintain.

3. The one when Haru calls Rin by his name for the first time. And I honestly for some reason didn’t even realize that this moment was in the anime until my 3rd rewatch (lol), but, man, little Rin’s reaction is the most adorable ever. I cry.

4. When Gou meets Haru for the first time and immediately goes “ah so you’re Haruka Nanase, the one, who my brother talks about 24/7...‘Nanase is so cool, Nananse is so fast!’” and Rin just goes red lmfaaaaaooooo.

5. When Haru says that he feels the fever running through his body each time he just sees Rin, but he doesn’t understand what it means... ahem.... OH WELL

6. When Rin tells them he’s leaving and Haru gets absolutely furious and calls him a selfish jerk, but then he feels his legs giving out and he thinks that he needs to be in the water, but then he realizes, that for the first time in his life it won’t save him and he’s so lost and fucking crushed. "you can’t just mess up my whole life and leave me like that” and “this can’t be true, I can’t be this weak.” aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa fucking hellish angst... that mix of emotions was seriously hideous, at first he was so confused and in denial, he couldn’t even think, he literally went “who is leaving?” and then it just all blew up. Poor baby.

7. Just all the little moments, when Rin notices everything Haru does and falls in love a bit more each time. Like when Haru slowed down, when he saw that Nagisa is having troubles of keeping up with him.

Nagisa was earnestly trying to keep up with Haruka. If he kept up that pace, he wouldn't be able to run next to Haruka for the whole trip. That was how it had been yesterday. Nagisa's breath was coming short, and when Haruka saw him slow down a pace, he lightly turned his eyes downward. I guess that's as far as he goes.

A sigh mixed with Haruka's long breaths. Then, by just a tiny increment, Haruka let his pace slacken.

"Oh?" Rin said quietly. Haruka could almost hear him saying "You're so nice, Nanase," and he tsked inwardly. Nagisa caught up to him, smiling as if it hurt a bit. It looked like he'd lost the energy to keep talking.

Just cute, and they watched each other all the time, it’d be a bitch to count each one, but god, all of them were cute.

8. All the moments of Haru pulling Rin’s pigtails... hilarious, especially the RinRin one, but the funniest and my favorite was when Nagisa turned to Haru to ask him for a permision to call Rin Rin-Rin, like... all the rights to Rin belong to Haru and vice versa lmao I agree. “I’ll allow it” lolz shut it, Haru.

9. This moment: “Something happened inside of him that made Haruka incredibly angry, he was so pissed, that he didn’t even want to swim anymore. To think that someone like Rin could make him feel such powerful swirl of emotions and make him such a mess... he felt disgusted with himself.” Yeah, Haru, love is dat bitch when you’re 13 lol

10. The one where Haru whispers “sorry for making you feel that way” to Rin? The one where Rin’s grandma doesn’t want to go to see the relay, but then she suddenly does, when she finds out that her grandson’s future husband is in it? The “he at that moment realized that the only thing Rin was concerned about was Haruka” one? I don’t fucking know, you pick haha ANY MOMENT, ALL THE MOMENTS XD

______

BUT in all seriousness, I do not get how you can love Makoharu after the novels. Like do people just ignore these moments:

“Haru waved Makoto off like an annoying fly”, “feeling annoyed by his obnoxious care, Haruka went right past him”, “feeling like Makoto’s smile could turn into tears any second now, Haru turned away and went to the showers” (fuck this shit I’m out lmao), “complitely ignoring him, Haru kept walking”.

??????? is this... does anyone find this amazing??????!!!!!!!!!!!

Or when Haru was literally fucking losing it, cause Makoto just repeated everything after him and how he just lost all the respect in that moment.

“I feel like I should also get into running.” Makoto said it as it was a joke, but Haru knew for sure that it wasn’t. More than that, he knew, that Makoto was going to ask him that ever since the moment he found out that Haru was running this morning. Haruka fel annoyed, because he couldn’t find the excuse to refuse him.

Or this moment:

“Makoto was late and Haruka didn’t have any reasons to wait for him. Makoto can catch up with him on the way, they’ll meet at the swimming club either way. For both of them it’ll be better, if Haru went by himself, than stood there and waited Makoto, slowly losing his temper.”

“Haruka felt uncomfortable, cause Makoto looked at him, as if was a weak”

Or this:

"Did you know I was going to come out here?" Even though he knew it was impossible, Makoto couldn't stop himself from asking.

"Nope."

"Then, why…" are you standing in a place like this?

"Watching the sunset."

and I can go on and on and on

and the fishies... oh my fucking god, the fishies

***

I’m just saying, all these moments are not even funny. My point in all this, that like no matter how much Haru loves Makoto as a friend... or got used to him is what I personally think, I don’t think he’s ever gonna idk how to say this... respect him as a human being? admire him? And this whole situation... I just can’t appreciate such kind of relationships even in a friends way. 

1stly because Makoto’s behavior in general makes me have war flashbacks to some of my real life experiences (and yeah, I confess, it affected me and that’s why I don’t like his character a lot; because I don’t think many people know what it’s like to deal with these kind of people in general). 2ndly, cause Makoto fans keep trashing Haru and many call him selfish bc of the way he treats him, but what they don’t understand is that if it wasn’t for Haru being this harsh, Makoto would literally became even doormat-y than he is now (yes, it’s possible lmao). 

P.S. my favorite in the novels tbh is all the Haru “I’m surrounded by idiots” moments, like when they started to dig the frozen soil with little scrapes and he was looking at them like they’re morons and then just silently walked away and came back with a giant shovel... “if you keep doing this with your tiny scoopers, we’re gonna be here all night” and they then they just watched him as he did everything himself LMFAO I just love him so freaking much. I also think his relationship with Nagisa are incredible and so underrated, since it’s a huge and incredible part of the books. I just keep saying, Haru’d be an amazing dad, so I can’t wait for him and Rin to adopt xD

P.P.S. And what about the Free! novelization????!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA

[eyrieofsynapses]

First Thoughts on YJ S4 Panel

WARNING: SPOILERS for the DC Fandome YJ S4 panel!

Okay, before I start chattering away, can I just saw how much I love this title poster? Because I love it. LOOK AT IT. LOOK AT HOW BADASS IT IS. 

Warning: this first bit is a teeny bit ranty, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t genuinely love the panel. It was really fun, but I have a few gripes with the amount of information we got. If you wanna cut straight to the cheery bits, check under the cut.

So... uh. I’m not gonna say I’m disappointed? Because I’m not, this was good, we got info, it was nice to see the voice actors. But I’m... underwhelmed. I definitely wasn’t expecting a lot but this was still, mm, not as much as I thought we’d get. No poster, no previews of character designs, not a peep as to when we’re getting the new season, nothing on where it’ll be streaming, nothing as to new characters, nothing as to who’s going to be the villain, and the Q&A session was maaaayyybe 3 minutes long. Oof, guys. Thought you said you’d leave us with something that’d leave us “more than just ‘whelmed.’” 

Essentially all we got was the title, and a few snippets of information regarding what the current status of the Team and its characters is. They didn’t really get the chance to talk to us at all about the actual season, either- I think Brandon spoke maaaybe three or four times? He got the title reveal, but, well, we knew that already, not that it’s their fault, but still. I love hearing the voice actors chat about their experiences and we got none of that, so that was disappointing. I’m wondering if there wasn’t some material cut, actually, because I distinctly recall seeing a clip on Twitter with Phil Lamarr talking about what it was like returning to the show, and it wasn’t in this. So what’s the deal, DC? Short-changing us on YJ again? When are we gonna get some actual news? 

There is the little problem that their big reveal of the title was spoiled, oh, maybe three or four months ago, and that isn’t their fault, but it does make that revelation more of an “okay, well, glad that’s confirmed” rather than an “OH MY GODS IT’S PHANTOMS WHAAAAAAAT” like I think they were hoping. Still, that’s definitely exciting to hear, and the new title poster looks cool. 

I got a “WHAT!!!” moment maaayybe three times, which is significantly less than I thought I would. There just wasn’t that much new info. But I think that’s less of a Grandon/production team problem and more of a world state and DC problem. I’m not annoyed at them, I’m annoyed at DC and at the pandemic, because I’m willing to bet their snippet was cut short by DC and what information they could’ve revealed just isn’t ready yet because of current events. Probably we would’ve gotten character designs if it weren’t for that.

As for the audio play, it was pretty good. They were definitely struggling what with having a distinct lack of people to pull from for a voice cast, but made some tongue-in-cheek references to it to take off the edge. I don’t think I realized just how many people voice for YJ until now... or how many characters each actor does. It’s a bit janky, and weird what with the arguing over who’s narrating the story (why, are they telling us the story, or are they telling it to someone else? Are you breaking the fourth wall, are you not? Make yourselves clear) but I’m blaming that on the fact that they’re more used to scripts than they are audio plays. These are different mediums, so there’s an inherent gap there; this probably would’ve gone better as an actual episode. 

So, FIRST watch-through, here’s my HAPPY cheery thoughts and reactions, in no particular order! I might do a second one later, we’ll see. (Under the cut, because it’s long.)

Return of Bowhunter Security! 

Clipboard makes a comeback!

The Supermartian marriage has taken place and they’re making reference to taking a long journey with Conner, M’gann, Bioship, Gar and J’onn. So... Mars? Do we finally get to see Mars?  

Forager gets to be sassy! And a hilarious narrator! Which, c’mon, it’s Jason Spisak, honestly, I don’t know what I expected.

Ahahah, Jason makes the most delightful faces when he’s voicing Forager. (And a few flubs, but he’s good at covering them.) We all miss Wally, but man, he does a good job with this character. Also, hey, that’s how he does the clicks!

Rocket! Even though she had a relatively minimal presence, sigh. I’m hoping they build her character more this time, she always get short-changed. 

ARTEMIS IS LEADING THE TEAM, repeat, ARTEMIS IS LEADING THE TEAM!!! YES!!! 

And she also makes a reference at some point to being in this fight for ten years, which, HMM, do I hear a reference point for our time jump? They started back in 2010, so this implies that the season’s caught up to 2020. So... season one was 2010, season two was 2016, season three was... 2018, I think? So does this make the next time jump two years too, or am I off? It also takes place on February 23rd. Eh, either way, it’s absolutely not as long as a lot of people were fearing- heck, I’m thinking this might be the shortest jump yet. Yay!

I’m not sure if the Snapper Carr dialogue is cringy or hilarious. I’m going with hilarious because I’m betting this would’ve been great if it were animated. It definitely loses something without the animation. 

Is... is Crispin Freeman playing four characters? Five? Will, Roy, Jim, Captain Boomerang... I think I’m missing someone, I’m gonna have to go back and rewatch this later, but wow. He switches between them so fluidly, too, that’s impressive.

Forget Freeman for a hot second, Nolan North, what are you doing, dude? Conner, Clayface, Mallah, at least one or two others, with a LOT of animal noises included... wow, okay. I definitely didn’t realize how many of these guys do two or three characters. 

Phil Lamarr doing Brick, Black Manta and Kaldur all at once is definitely impressive. I’m gonna take a guess and say he likes doing Brick best. He seems to get a little grin sometimes when he’s playing the character.

Ahhh, Danica McKellar definitely likes playing Terrence Terror. Don’t ask me why, I’m just getting that feeling watching her. Villains are fun to play.

...Wolf? Where’s Wolf? Uhh, guys? Where’s our fluffy doggo? Don’t tell anyone but I’m scared. 

Oooookay, that was unexpectedly gruesome. Dehydrating a man into sand? I mean, okay, it’s Clayface, but we didn’t know that till later. Eeeewww. Y’all, ik you’re going more dark, but that wasn’t an image anyone needed.

Jokes about Dadbod!Will are... hhh, cringy or funny, cringy or funny... I’m going sorta funny for now. Not enough to make me laugh, but enough to make me smile. 

Okay, Will’s definitely still hilarious. Literally that entire scenario with Captain Boomerang was amazing, and only made better by the fact that it was entirely Crispin Freeman. The “are you the Green Arrow fanclub president or something?” “...you have no idea” moment, the “boomerangs are better and Batman said so!” “...okay, FINE,” FLINGING CLIPBOARD, Boomerang teasing Will for his dadbod and Will answering with a wicked uppercut... ah, man. This is 100% Roy/Will Harper and I am here for it. 

I can see some people disliking this humor, but personally, I’m gonna just sit back and enjoy it. YJ has some quirky humor, but honestly, if you’re part of the fandom and you don’t like it, why are you even here?

Huh, Raquel’s a vegan and nobody’s making jokes about vegan burgers? Nice!

Oh, my gods, Forager deciding that Lian and Amistad playing with the food is an educational activity is AMAZING, 100% in character, and something I really, really want to see. 

(Fanartists? Fanartists, pleeeeaaasse?)

Will and Artemis ribbing each other will never get old.

...wait. Hang on. Is Will the comedic relief character now along with Forager? Is this a thing? I guess it is. If you’d asked me who out of the original Team would replace Wally as the comedic relief back when I had finished the second season, I would not have thought of him first, but I think I’m good with this. It’s definitely in character to his comic version. 

Ahh, Conner and M’gann’s relationship is still... interesting. Still not sure how to feel on this one. But hey, they’re married (?) now? Uh... nice? 

Nightwing’s off on some mysterious mission, hmm? I’m assuming that’s because of Jesse McCartney not being there, but I think I’m gonna headcanon that there are Other reasons for this. 

Yay, Clayface getting redemption! I love this in the Rebirth Batman: Detective Comics, so I’m 100% down for seeing it here. 

Tim did that for Clayface! Sweet! Not a plot thread I expected to go anywhere from that one season three episode, but one I am very happy to see used. 

...more secrets. Uhh, M’gann keeping secrets from Conner is... icky... again... but granted, keeping them because of confidentiality agreements is, well, a better excuse than she’s had in the past. Still, this is getting old.

Huh, so Waller will let out the Team’s secrets if they tell anyone about Belle Reve. I think this was already covered in the third season, but maybe not so explicitly. The reactions... hmm. Of course Conner’s okay with letting out all their secrets (and M’gann’s willing to... go along with that? ...okay...?), but the others, maybe not so much? Hmm. I wonder what Dick would have to say about that one. He definitely has something to lose. Not sure about Kaldur or Artemis, though. 

Jason did NOT get to make any Wally references. That makes me even sadder than if he did make one that made all of us cry. C’mon, guys. Let him have his references. 

I’m always a little meh on M’gann, but hey, M’gann gets to be a 100% certified badass! Saving Clayface AND taking down a ton of baddies with telekinesis, yay!

Oh, my gods. LOOPHOLES. WHAT IS WITH THIS TEAM AND LOOPHOLES. I love them so much.

The Team signing on as Bowhunter Security- oh my gods, all of the Team in fucking Bowhunter Security uniforms- oh my gods, so very in-character, so very true to YJ, so absolutely goddamn hilarious, I wanna hug whoever came up with that. That is the BEST mental image and it is a CRIME that they didn’t animate that. 

And, of course, Kaldur just immediately goes along with it. The Team’s corrupted him fully now. I mean, we knew that, but he’s done now. 

Black Manta attempting to roast Kaldur for his security uniform and Kaldur roasting him back 100 times worse is wonderful. “I wear my dignity on the inside, Father. Where do you wear yours?” KALLIE I LOVE YOU 

Ooooo, Artemis is inviting Roy to the Team? This should be interesting. He’s definitely not totally stable, but it seems to me that Artemis should be able to more or less keep him in check. Hopefully. She had to deal with Wally for five years, surely she can keep Roy in check?

...hmm. We’re all thinking there’s gonna be a Red Hood arc... Roy’s joining the team... Roy and Jason did have that run as the Outlaws in the comics with Kory... and this version of Roy has the sort of temper and attitude that I can just see Jason possibly getting along well with... hmmmmmmmm... 

Hah, villain shenanigans. Having Task Force X argue all the time is in character and admittedly sort of funny, especially as Black Manta’s sort of pulling a Kaldur and playing the absolutely exasperated denmother. I dislike BM thanks to him being a Baddie and all, but watching (listening to?) him struggle to contain them is enjoyable if only because I like watching him suffer. 

Ahh, watching the VAs is fun. It’s definitely nice to see that little view behind the camera. There’s the little smiles, the tiny grimaces at the icky bits, the responses to various bits, the way their demeanor changes with each character, everyone egging Nolan on when he’s yelling for Clayface being disintegrated... I’m sad we didn’t get to see them chat, but watching them interact while they work is fun. Pity Jason and Stephanie didn’t really have any interactions, though, I bet watching them work together would’ve been fun. Ah well. Still fun overall.

There’s a lot of variation in where they are/what setups they have. Some of them seem to have proper studios, some of them don’t but they have mics, Danica’s on the lower bunk of her son’s room with what I’m betting are several sheets hung behind her, and then... well, then there’s poor Stephanie with earbuds and what I’m betting is her phone at her friend’s house XD Also, Greg’s library is really awesome, can I steal it please?

Green title card... I know people have been positing this for a while, but Lazarus Pit? Also, the thing people haven’t talked about: Mars?! Is this a nod to the Martians, since M’gann, Conner, Gar and J’onn seem to be going there? 

Lots of speculation regarding Phantoms, but that’s been going around for a while, so *shrug* I’m not gonna spend any time on that for now.

Someone’s gonna have to write this out, methinks, for further examination. We’ll see if I get around to doing that or not before Fandome ends. I’m betting someone will record it and post it on YouTube, but a written-out version of the script would be useful. If I do, I’ll probably post it, so keep an eye out. 

So... season 3.9, episode 1? Hmm. Does this come directly prior to the fourth season? I kinda wanna say it does.

I have more thoughts, but I think I need to do a rewatch first, maybe in a little bit. Anyway... not what I was expecting, I sincerely miss Dick and Wally, but lots of funny jokes all the same, and lots of interesting information on the fourth season even if it’s nowhere near the amount we wanted. I might be underwhelmed but I’m certainly not disappointed. 

[snkpolls]

SnK 131 Chapter Poll Results

The chapter poll closed with  2,192 responses. This month’s poll results were brought to you by @momtaku​, /u/staraves, Crunchwrap, u/_Puppet_, Luna.  Thanks as always for your support.

  RATE THE CHAPTER 2,118 responses

This was a standout chapter for the fandom, garnering a positive rating from over 90% of respondents and an average score of 4.68 which makes it the highest rated chapter since 122 - and in the top 5 in the history of the poll! Many of you were eager to express your enjoyment of it, with this question getting the most responses it has since chapter 102 (over two years ago!). As we go deeper into the endgame, it’s good to know enthusiasm is going strong.

Yams is a damn genius. This is one chapter I have not been able to stop thinking about or rereading. It's just... its so fucked up and SO. WELL. DONE.

I really, really loved this chapter. My favourite so far probably.

This is the first time I cried after a chapter. It hit me so hard.

Almost made me quit the manga. We finally got a confession from Armin, but right in the middle of all that grief, I couldn't enjoy it. Poor Ramzi and Halill, and all other innocent people beyond and within the Walls.

This chapter has had a ripple effect on how I’m seeing the series now in retrospect. I’ve been re-reading the manga , & I’ve become very melancholic after the Rumbling , knowing  everything was leading to this.

This was a phenomenal chapter. Thank you Isayama for everything.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT?

2,137 responses

Finding a favorite moment in a tragic chapter isn’t easy but we managed. “Child Eren’s moment of happiness” tops the list with an impressive 30% of respondents. “Seeing the reality of the rumbling” (18.8%), “Eren’s tearful apology to Ramzi” (15.9%) and “Getting Eren’s thoughts on the Rumbling while in Marley” (13.8%) round out the top four.

Very cool to finally see the destruction caused by the rumbling and some more insight into Eren's character

I like that this chapter showed perspectives from both the initiator of the rumbling (Eren) and the victims of his choice. It makes you sympathize with Eren, but at the same time, terrifies you with the price humanity has to pay.

Definitely one of the most depressing, if not the most depressing chapter thus far. Isayama brilliantly handled the transition between Eren's despair and the result of Eren's despair (Rumbling). Beautiful artwork. Great cliffhanger. Definitely a 9/10.

Tragic, Terrifying, Heartbreaking also Awesome because atleast AruAni became somewhat cannon

beautiful art as usual

The freedom scene with kid eren is the most beautiful/horrifying scene of the manga.

I also loved the Annie and Armin talk, anyone who says it's shipping cringe is a child, this was a long time coming and it was executed beautifully. (I also love how Hitch was mentioned twice, she would be proud of Armin this chapter.)

Ramzi and Halil deaths were the saddest part of this chapter, and I don't know about Ymir, but I guess she's helping Eren.

The panel showing the wall titans faces, especially the one shown on the right with empty eye sockets, gave me the chills. Can't wait to see how things will go down between the gang and Eren.

  WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP? 2,144 responses

This month giving us the most harrowing chapter in a while made it feel wrong to be looking for an MVP amidst all this despair, and almost half of you agree (47.5%). Just over a quarter of you believe the Eren focus earned him the spot (28.9%), with 9.4% choosing Armin and 9.1% selecting best bros Ramzi and Halil. A distant minority of you chose Annie and Birb, the former of which coming dead last. Poor Annie, you’ll be more popular than a bird one day.

the true mvp was the depression we got along the way

Eren needs a hug

Eren needs to be put down.

I really admire the way Isayama deeply makes you care for a character in a few panels, like he did for those two - relatively unknown - boys.

Annie is the best girl

birbs are the rreak mvp since chap 1

  EIGHT MONTHS AFTER FIRST APPEARING IN THE MEMORY SHARDS, WE GET FEZ-KUN’S STORY.  DID IT LIVE UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS? 2,121 responses

Only a month ago, the fandom had no idea what to make of the mysterious Fez-Kun. The plucky pickpocket had a simple but effective story, and knew more secrets than he could possibly have understood. A perfect half of respondents were pleasantly surprised with Fez kid’s part in the story. 41.2% were content as it was about what they expected. 6.2% wanted to see a more in-depth picture but alas, that chance has been crushed mercilessly along with Ramzi’s hopes and dreams (and… the rest of him). 2.5% just weren’t into anything that let Eren lean into some morally black territory. Don’t worry, there are still plenty of grey shades here. Very dark shades of grey.

I didn't expect Ramzy's story to be expanded on, but it's so brutal to see the man he's been talking to killing him, his brother, his family and his hopes.

I know Ramzi and Halil were plot devices, but damn their death hit hard.

I think Eren saving Ramzi is foreshadowing. He knew Ramzi was gonna die in rumbling, yet he saved him. Same will happen, after someone reaching him and reminding him who he is, Eren will stop this madness and die. Or I wanna be hopeful.

even if i'm satisfied with Ramzi's story, I wish there would have been more to it because it is a tiny bit dissapointing but it's more or less what I expected.

Ramzi and Halil didn’t deserve death

i think everybody who dies in this rumbling will get back alive same will happen to halil and ramzi they will come back alive

Ramzi and Halil's deaths were so horrible but so good to see, because this is what it means when you destroy the world. You don't get to pluck out the nice ones and enjoy killing the bad ones. It's the height of cruel selfishness. And no amount of apologies changes that.

Ramzi and Halil deserved so much better

  WHY WAS EREN DISAPPOINTED THAT HUMANITY EXISTED OUTSIDE THE WALLS? 2,117 responses

There’s been disagreement over exactly what Eren meant when he said he was disappointed that humanity existed outside the walls and our poll reflects that. Just over a third of the fandom (34.2%) take Eren’s words literally and believe that his disappointment was with any existence of humanity since it marred his pristine childhood vision. The second most popular option is that he was disappointed in the attitudes, selecting “he was disappointed to discover all of humanity was filled with violence and oppression” (29.5%). We deliberately left off an “All of the above” option but that didn’t stop more than 50 people from writing it in.

He is disappointed at the fact that he has to fight humans with homes, families, pasts and futures and not mindless titans.

It's also a clear contrast between the outside world Armin envisioned and the one Eren wanted. Armin genuinely wanted to know more about it, Eren wanted his worldwide natural park to walk on. When it was full of civilization, he wanted to get rid of it. Like any typical villain wanting to purify the Earth of all the worms infesting it.

When he discovered that humans are just as cruel within the walls as without, it put his entire journey into perspective. He could not be Eren the hero or Eren the explorer and ultimately meant that the sacrifices made by his comrades were negligible in comparison to the big, cruel world , at least in his own mind.

He thought of all the beautiful landscapes and stuff that Armin showed him. Too bad there's these stupid humans in the way. Makes sense to eliminate the entire human population ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Everyone's fight against titans was pointless and the people who caged them could enjoy the things that Eren will never experience. The world is not a uninhabited landscape open to explore it, the world didn't need them and their freedom wasn't a possibility to enjoy it like the others civilizations do.

The world was out there and yet they did NOTHING to help Eldia

yes, eren is disappointed because there are now more enemies. but more than that, he's disappointed that they're not the monsters he's imagined them to be. that he can't kill them without feeling guilt and remorse.

he would never be able to enjoy the freedom he wanted because the clock is ticking and he will have to keep on resisting the whole world till the end without ever having time to properly realize his dream

I think he's disappointed in the fact that he's feeling sorry for humanity outside the walls just like Reiner used to feel sorry about people inside the walls. When he discovered Reiner was a traitor, he especially hated that part of his behavior, and how he realizes they're not that different, and in any case he's worse because at least Reiner had his child soldier brainwashing as an excuse

His disappointment is as bad as it sounds, having to deal with humans outside the walls was too bothersome for him and when the option to wipe them out was available to him, he was more inclined to take it, instead of fight for another resolution.

Typical privileged White boy outraged by prejudice and hatred OUTSIDE the walls, as if that didn't exist in Paradis already.

Any hopeful expectation Eren had of the outside world were completely decimated. Not only did he discover that humanity hadn't perished, but they actively contributed to or blissfully ignored Paradis' hell. In addition, the outside world is exploiting one other for resources. Paradis’ synthetically concocted hell is just part of a game to the outside world (there’s some uncomfortable real-world allusions here and I think it’s important that it’s being explored). Eren thought he was the saviour of humanity only to discover everything's he's done was for naught, humanity's the problem in his eyes.

  WHAT DO YOU THINK OF EREN’S CONTRADICTORY NATURE? 2,106 responses

Deciding to crush the vast majority of the world and its citizens kind of takes a mental toll on people. Who knew? 48% of respondents think Eren’s emotional breakdown side by side with determination to reach freedom at any cost is simply him deciding the results will be worth his immense guilt. 23.2% think it’s a very human case of cognitive dissonance, and that Eren’s just trying to juggle his conflicting values. 19.2% believe his mental state is fraying at the seams reminiscent of the way Reiner’s did. 6.8% don’t buy that there’s any contradiction being shown here.

He was willing to throw away his humanity to become the monster that brings change

He's being a hypocrite. His guilt doesn't hold any value because it's entirely his choice. He's apologizing because there's no greater good, just his selfish dream.

He's never been okay, it's just that we're finally seeing him for who he is without the "protagonist illusion".

I don't think it's contradictory though. He's grieving sure, but he's also going along with his plan. Because he wants to be free.

He's not mentally stable and it shows

He's to some extent influenced by the Shingeki and/or its previous holders

He's trying to convince himself that humanity is evil sl he won't feel guilty about what he's doing

Hes a fully grown adult who knows better, no matter how bad he feels he doesnt deserve sympathy

The future cannot be changed and Eren is a slave to the attack titan's objective to push foreward

This chapter shows a lot of parallel between Eren and Reiner, he even said himself that he's worse than Reiner in the genocide that he's created. says himself that

What a fucking asshole

When Eren saw the future he knew the rumbling was inevitable so he is the one having to carry to burden of being ‘humanity’s enemy’ whether or not it was Eren to fulfill the rumbling it would’ve happened either way so he isn’t immediately a devil

Erens nature isn’t contradictory. He’s just now becoming self aware of the impact of his violent nature

He feels guilty about his actions and feels sorry for people who are going to be killed, but on the other hand - he is selfish and will do everything to reach his perfect reality.

Humans are an amalgamation of their actions. They sometimes arrive at destinations they did not fully intend. They may also realize too late that the path that they’ve set down is leading them in a direction they are not happy with, but eren is too far gone. He’s sane, understands he is objectively evil, but cannot turn back.

He totally snapped and turned into the psychopath that was sleeping inside of him for a long time. It was indeed very dangerous to entrust him with more power than he can handle.

Isayama did the same thing with Zeke. I think he likes the idea of the cool, mysterious guy, but it falls flat when the motivation doesn’t line up & the characters turn out to be crying & weak to fit the narrative once it’s revealed.

I don't know how to word this, but he is caged in his own vision to the point where any human decency and the ability to think is killed. Only a selfish, hateful and childish shell remained that is throwing a tantrum over his childbook fairytale not being true. It's not the same as Reiner, because Eren chose this. He wanted this, it is his fault. He had the power to stop this, but didn't. He can apologize as much as he wants, but he isn't feeling sorry at all.

He feels guilty, which is why he is having a mental breakdown like Reiner.

He’s having a mental breakdown but it's worse than Reiner's

painfully obvious this chapter was just Eren trying by all means to justify the Rumbling. Not because of some noble intention or cornering them into the inevitable, but just because he wanted to erase the world.

the eren reiner parallels man.. they never stop

  IN HIS FINAL MOMENTS, RAMZI SEES AN APPARITION OF YMIR. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? 2,104 responses

Ymir has finally appeared since we last saw her in chapter 122, and her presence as well as motivations are seemingly shrouded in mystery. Over a third believe she is watching everything but not necessarily feeling good or bad about it (32.1%), and some of you think she may be questioning her decision (16.2%). A minority of you opted to choose that her appearance means she is enjoying seeing it unfold (9.6%), or that we are witnessing a phenomenon related to titan deaths that have occurred all this time (7.5%). The most popular choice, however, (34.6%) is simply expressing bewilderment at the Evangelion-esque shenanigans we’re seeing.

Ymir could be the one doing all the actions of destruction since Eren let her free.

i really think after ymir appeared again even tho eren freed her that she's regretting giving him the founder's power and will have a role is taking him down

the presence of Ymir intrigues me and I hope that in the next chapter we will have her point of view.

I think Ymir is the one who's been pulling the ropes for a long time. Whenever Eren thinks there might be another way (especially throught he disappearance of the Eldian race) he compulsively thinks that he just CAN'T accept that, like there's a force driving him towards seeking freedom.

I hope that Ymir appearance means that she is counting and seeing Eren victims so she can create them Again without Eldian hate

Ymir being outside, and Kid Eren appearing in the paths might have a connection. Ymir was a grownup when she was killed but inside the paths she was shown a kid. Same as Eren being shown in the paths. This might signifies Eren is not in control of the situation but Ymir is.

I have had theories for a while about Ymir possibly turning on Eren, whether this is to save the world to show she is better than Eren, or to bring Paradis to destruction as well to show she is just as bad.

WHAT IN THE EVA?

Loved the Evangelion reference. YAMS YOU MADLAD!

Ymir might be the true enemy

WHAT THE FUCK IS YMIR AYANAMI DOING THERE?  

  WHAT IS KID EREN DOING HERE? 2,099 responses

Child Eren appears in one of the most stunning panels of the chapter, but what does it mean?  Two options came out on top, with the idea that Eren is mentally regressing to a child (37.9%) edging out that it’s symbolism comparing child Eren to current Eren (36.1%).

I think we are going to see different Eren during the rumble, the past with Eren as a child, the future perhaps with a more mature or elderly Eren and the Eren of the present.

Adult Eren is incapacitated and Kid eren took his place through paths, will wake up for the "see you later, Eren"

Adult Eren unknowingly brought kid Eren’s consciousness to the present while he was sleeping under the tree. This is part of his “dream” that he had at the beginning of the story.

It is symbolises Erens mentality as a kid and how his flawed ideology doesn't hold up to the real world he faced outside of the walls. Also to cope.

Eren is the only character who cannot overcome the cycle of violence, so he will die.As you know, only without people can you become absolutely free, so he enjoys it when he realizes that nothing else binds him.

He has taken over paths from ymir, but since he is not bound by anything, he can do whatever the hell he wants, and is the reason he connected to armin while speaking to him.

It shows that Eren is not fully in control of the PATHS. For example in this scene, he remembers Armin because of his memory as a child talking about freedom with Armin then Armin suddenly appears although Eren himself didn't wish for something like that to happen thus it's just to show that PATHS connecting all Subjects of Ymir even in different timeline.

This links in with Floch... Eren loves Floch.

He was dreaming about the past and accidentally used the power of the Founder to show his younger self a vision of the Attack Titan's current point of view.

He's a sociopathic freak

It is symbolic of his old dream that he will have to give up on soon.

Can I say all of the above again? I saw it as a representation of Eren in his most pure, idealistic state which is then contrasted by the realistic horror of the destruction he is causing.

Brought into the present by adult Eren to give his younger self a taste of freedom without all the guilt. This is the beginning of the long dream kid Eren awakes from in Chapter 1.

Child Eren's Evangelion/Devilman(Crybaby)-esque "elation" seems like a metaphorical emotional release (and P A T H S shenanigans).

Something about the kid-Eren “freedom” scene is just so incredible and impactful; fully restored my faith that Isayama will deliver an amazing finale for this masterpiece.

THE MORE I LOOK AT THIS PANEL THE MORE MY HEART HURTS. ITS SO BEAUTIFUL YET SO DAMN FUCKED UP. GOD. FRICK. FRIIIICKKKKKK

  KID EREN FINALLY WITNESSES “THAT SIGHT”, BUT WHAT DID HE ACTUALLY SEE? 2,113 responses

The world-shattering reveal almost a year ago of Eren gaining an important glimpse into the future, characterised as “that sight”, was finally answered in this chapter -- or was it? The majority of you believe kid Eren was merely enjoying the view from above that filled him with freedom, blissfully ignorant to the carnage of the rumbling (50.8%). Close to a quarter (23.8%) think he was able to see the rumbling but was enjoying the freedom in spite of it, with a small portion (5%) believing all the death was a part of his glee. Some aren’t yet sold on the idea that this is “that sight”, perhaps believing we will see it later (20.4%).

I don't think that his inner child is aware of the rumbling. He is only focused on the scenery and wants Armin to see that too.

A world without any walls is what kid eren always wanted to see. Through paths, kid eren achieved this (without seeing the death)

  HOW WILL ARMIN BEING ABLE TO SEE KID EREN THROUGH PATHS AFFECT THE PLOT? 2,114 responses

Child Eren showing up was confusing enough, but he had to see Armin through paths too!?  What does it mean!?  A majority, at 55.5% think it foreshadows Armin’s coming importance in whatever the endgame turns out to be. Almost a third, at 28.6% think that it also opens up the possibility for other characters to connect with Eren through paths.

Armin was the person Eren has been sharing his dreams with. He is mentally showing his friend that the realisation of their dreams is finally at hand.

Eren can call forth anyone he wants, but if he doesn't want to see them I'm not sure if they could get to him

It foreshadows Armin and Eren clashing on a deeper level. I don't think anyone can actually stop Eren at this point.

Eren is so suped up with in this final form and with Ymir's "support" that when he thought about Armin it created a link through the paths.

Armin gets to briefly see the old "idealistic" Eren again. The one he can somewhat see eye-to-eye with and incidentally "created".

I think it might be just a visual metaphor on how Armin and Eren never really understood each other while sharing the same dream and that Armin is realizing that (I mean that the dream of "seeing the outside world" didn't mean the same thing to them). Or it might be that Eren is in a comatose sort of state and that since he technically is in control of paths, his thoughts are "sent" to Armin since he's reflecting on their shared dream

It shows Eren and Armin both want the same end goal. Though they disagree on the means of getting to it

The world is not like the one he saw in Armin's book. Hence why he contacted him, this is his way of reaching for his vision of freedom that he was denied because of the trauma of the wall.

Reference to the ocean scene where Eren was depressed and Armin excited, now its reversed

  WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ARMIN AND ANNIE’S TALK ON THE SHIP? 2,124 responses

While this tiny moment of apparent romance was a delight for the 20% of the fandom who expressed “Whoo hoo Aruani is canon!!”, the remaining 80% were slightly more subdued in their reaction. The largest percentage (35.3%) was happy that the build up between their characters had some payoff. The second most popular selection had nothing to do with Armin or Annie at all with “I just wanna know what’s up with the birds” garnering 26% of the vote. Lastly, 11.2% felt like this moment was completely out of place, selecting “Now’s not the time for love drama Isayama.”

We better see Armin and Annie kiss next chapter

The Armin/Annie was not that necessary, I’d loved way more a more "group" discussion with Mikasa, Jean n Reiner in it. Old 104th days style

Besides the shipping moment, Annie just came to terms with that she’s still not alone, which is huge for her character

I'm not sure if Isayama knows how unnatural aruani is. These two had a grand total of 3 interactions, and sparing each other still isn't prone to romantic feelings blooming on either side.

a bad fking attempt by isayama at romance, should have stuck with eren historia love child

The aruani was unexpected but nice xD I don't exactly ship them but they are cute in this chapter(I can't help but feel one of them is getting a death flag because of this though💀)

What about them talking about all the shit she did or has been through? I wanted to see that.

SHE'S NOT TAKING MY MAN ISTG SHE'S NOT ON MY WATCH

Ship and let ship, this is actually a very intresting pairing and I think the scene flowed very naturally. But I still hope that in the future manga focuses more in the plot and not in the ships. I'd hope the same from fandom, but of course that's too much to ask...

This was a nice moment away from death and destruction

They’re definitely gonna die soon

am i the only one who don’t ship annie and armin? like bro... she squashed your little friends like bugs

Yoo bitch AruAni is canon LETSS FUCKING GOOO Love this cinnamon couple..More canon couple please Yams!

CANT BELIEVE ARMIN IS TRYING TO GET A GF WHEN MILLIONS R DYING HES FR A HOE🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

I only saw Bertolt there.

Maybe it's just me but i dont see anything romantic about the scene to me i prefer the weird friendship they have

While it seemed slightly out of place I’m glad Isayama touched on their “therapy sessions”.

Oh God no please don’t do this, Annie isn’t they type of character that needs any sort of romance in her story to be happy

Both aruani is canon 🥳 and wtf Isayama not the time…

c'mon falling for an enemy uncounscious girl with whom you have wangsty once-sided talks, a girl you manipulated to capture and used as a bait against enemies, really ???

They’re finally talking, I’ve been waiting so long for them to talk things out, also I really like Annie’s character development! And finally CANON, I’ve been waiting for sooooo long!!!!!!

I selected the bird because I feel threatened by it but also WOO HOO ARUANI IS CANON

I really enjoyed the scene between Annie and Armin. I think it further cements AOT as a very human narrative. They both know there are bigger things going on, but that doesn't allow them to turn off their very human emotions, which come out in a moment of rest. I don't believe this will necessarily lead to more romantic scenes between them, unless the ending of the story is far more hopeful than I expect it to be.

  WHY DO YOU THINK EREN APPEARS TO BE IN A SLEEP-LIKE STATE? 2,088 responses

Not long after his grand arrival on the shore, Eren seems to be having a little nap. 45.3% of respondents think he’s relying on his base instincts for his walk around the world. 15.8% think he’s wide awake but just trying to ignore the squishy things he’s stepping on. Turns out it’s actually pretty tiring to declare war on the world, or so say 14.2% of you. 12.1% think it’s no coincidence his apparently sleepy face was shown right after the intense stare of birb, and 8.8% think that the image hints at a secret puppet master pulling Eren’s strings. We received a lot of comments suggesting Ymir might be the big bad after all - now how is Eren gonna earn that sweet sweet freedom if he’s not willing to bust a few billion skulls, eh?

He left the Attack Titan on auto-mode

i just wish to know that....now that Eren has a long ass neck.....will he come back as a human or....he will be like this forever

Symbolic of the fact that he isn’t really seeing the sight. It’s a fools errand like Eren’s goal.

I think it is symbolic. The 'adult' in him is sleeping while the 'child' in him is taking the reigns.

His consciousness has been transferred to his titan's brain. He's essentially an Attack Titan battery .

He is dreaming, ignorant to the destruction below and seeing the freedom he envisioned as a kid.

his consciousness is in PATHS dimension and he's controlling things from there

How the fuck is he sleeping when the wall titans are executing complex commands, like diving under ships and surrounding the city?

I don't think he is sleeping. He rather looks beaten and devastated and just numb to what he is doing in order to cope.

I figure that bc he's so big, he kind of has to be like this. Normally when he's in his titan with his eyes open, he's being active. I think that although he's set the titans in motion, he's in a more passive role now. He also can't be all that active when he's that huge, right?

I honestly don't know. I can speculate its connection to Ymir's apparition and child Eren's lucid dream?

He's irrevocably fucked thanks to good old Gabi and her rifle.

He's losing his will to live.  Also leaves an opening for Armin to wake him up like he did in Trost.

HE'S THE SLAVE NOW

Maybe he is actively controlling / managing something else at the time? Maybe something crucial we don't know about yet, I don't believe that he is just exhausted.

His adult self is asleep now because his child self is having fun in his perfect world. Eren is mentally weak as adult but his inner child is strong and is reaching everything Eren always wanted - freedom and happiness.

He’s unable to regenerate due to controlling all the colossal titans, or just won’t because he wasn’t in Titan form when his head was blown off, meaning he will eventually die

i feel as if having eren not be in control would be mildly disappointing because the manga has done so much to set up erens decent into madness and how his actions became so extreme, i would be disappointed if all of that went to waste.

I would guess that Eren might be sifting through future memories at the moment. Looking at the "unknown world"/"the scenery" that made him smile wistfully instead of being horrified/the thing "beyond hell" Eren mentioned to Falco.  

His adult self is sleeping now, while his young self is having fun.

I think hes not fully in control (maybe ymir calling the shots)

I'm kinda torn between him operating on base instincts and him being controlled by someone (Ymir?) so I'm gonna go with both as the possibility.

Maybe he really doesn't want this? I think Ymir's the one in control

Ymir is controlling him

He is not the one driving this titan, Ymir is.

Really? You talk about his eyes being closed and not the fact that he has the neck structure of a turkey!?

  THE FINAL PAGE ENDS ON ARMIN’S HOPEFUL WISH FOR THE EXISTENCE OF THE OUTSIDE WORLD HE ENVISIONED AS A CHILD, BUT WHAT DO YOU THINK? 2,101 responses

Despite the darkness this chapter brought to the story, Armin ends on a hopeful note. The top two options were 36.8% thinking there’s a possibility Armin will in fact be able to stop Eren. and 33.7% believe Armin to be too optimistic, and that it won’t pan out the way he wishes.

Armin's recalling of his childhood dream with Eren in the last page made me think there's still a hidden solution to resolve the dilemma.  

This chapter also shown Armin not wanting to give up with reconciling the Eren he wanted to see and the actual Eren. He hears no evil.

Tragic ending, yes, but I don't think Armin's hope is misplaced all the same. I think Eren cannot be stopped without death, but I also don't think the entire world will be destroyed, and I don't think it will end hopelessly.

Either Armin’s gonna save humanity or everybody just dies the end 😹

That one bird that was perched on the ship might be the symbol of peace. But I'm not sure how that peace is going to be achieved if the option's still on the table.

I hope the alliance is able to save Eren from doing this unthinkable sin.

Probably a blossoming hope through Armin breaking Eren from Ymir's plan uwu

I think Armin could join/support Eren

  THIS CHAPTER CONTINUED THE BIRD MOTIF, THIS TIME HAVING A FOCUS ON SCENES ENDING WITH A BIRD STARING DIRECTLY AT A CHARACTER. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?! 2,067 responses

The Spy Birds theory seemed a bit nutty last month, but I don’t trust that seagull one bit. And it looks like many of you agree because that nutty theory has gone mainstream! The majority of respondents (54.1%) think that the birds are under the influence of a higher power, mainly that of Eren (27.4%) or Ymir (26.7%). 26.6% don’t think the birds are suspicious, they’re just free, man. 13% just reckon Isayama has moved on from his love of drawing thicc horses, and birds are the cool new animal. No complaints here. But I still don’t trust that seagull.

The birds are up to something

Animals sense danger coming from nature before humans do.

bird is symbol for freedom, but some bird like crow and raven in some culture are symbol for death.

I think that pigeons are watching me through P A T H S

Black birds symbolize the people's doom , white bird that flew to armin symbolises hope

black birds: death ; seagul: garbage :))) I dunno, the seagul was so random. It means they are approaching the shore?

EREN IS BRAN STARK IN AOT UNIVERSE LET'S GOO

I dont sure its eren or ymir. But i hope there is something about bird. I hope there are a huge plot twist

Might be another Odin parallel if Eren is using them, but I don't really see why he'd bother. I don't think he needs to do recon.

FREEEEEEEDOOOOOM

Last time I thought that the bird theory was a little far-fetched but now I think that's 100% the deal. That seagul is just somehow way too focused on to be just a random animal.

I commented in the previous poll that the birds are surveillance cameras and i’m even more convinced now. And isn’t it poetic that the Wings of Freedom logo is made up of a pair of black and white wings, representing the different interpretations of freedom pursued by Eren and Armin.

This is all just a Genjutsu by Itachi

my personal favorite theory, it’s zeke seeing everything transpire through the power of the beast titan

Pure!Boy Armin gets the seagull because he still has DREAMS and Eren gets crows because he wants to feast on human flesh.

WHAT'S UPP WITH THE BIRDS AAAAAAHHH TELL ME

I don't know but is really cool if you see it as a symbol of hope/freedom. Birds are the only kind who will not going to be tumble over the rumbling.

I think it's about the colors, black is dark, just like the destruction Eren is causing to the world (including Ramzi and Halil) and white is bright, just like the peace that Armin wished for and is aiming to achieve with the alliance

  HOW DID THIS CHAPTER AFFECT YOUR VIEWS ON THE RUMBLING? 2,100 responses

If we thought seeing the reality of the rumbling would be a game changer when it comes to our view of it, we were wrong. Only 5% of people who formerly supported it no longer do. For the rest of us 44% do not support the rumbling and 30% do. Most curiously, 21% claim to have no opinion. More on that below when we mirrored this question about our views on Eren.

I still don't support The Rumbling, I just want it to stop. It doesn't do anything good for anyone, even Eren himself, and this awfully awesome chapter proves it. I totally expect that via P A T H S.FM Armin and Mikasa could stop him (and save him, physical or psychologically, idk) . It's the only plausible way.

I think the rumbling is justified but I don’t think the civilians who had nothing against Erin don’t deserve to die.

I don’t think there is any other solution, and that’s the point… His outburst at Hange tells me that he was desperate for something. This is coming from Eren who can essentially see everything and inherited multiple people’s memories. If he couldn’t come up with it, I don’t think anyone else can (aside from Armin? But I’m not holding my breath). The 50-year plan was a delusional fantasy at best, technology would evolve rapidly and nullify any threat the Rumbling poses.

I was still kind of hoping Eren had something up his sleeve that wasn't mass slaughter, but I guess we're going there

I believe the full rumbling is a morally grey decision, but I’ll concede and say it’s on the darker end of the spectrum. ultimately eren will have to answer for what he’s done, necessary or not killing millions of innocent people is a horrible thing to do.

The world was never peaceful, and never will be. The Rumbling was inevitable, nothing could stop that.

  ON A SCALE FROM “IT’S JUST A FLESH WOUND” TO “HOLY SHIT THIS IS AWFUL”, HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE PORTRAYAL OF THE RUMBLING?   2,110 responses

This probably didn’t need to be asked but we did it anyway. For the vast majority of us, the portrayal of the rumbling was overwhelming in terms of sheer horror. “It’s awful! I love it!” seems to be a common reaction.

Whelp... we wanted to see the rumbling. I guess be careful what we wish for.

I am once again reminded how gory SnK can be.

No holds barred. This is the sad, traumatic truth that we asked for.

RIP in pieces Clown-kun

At this point, it makes me sick to read pro-rumbling posts. Normally, when you like a villain or a morally grey character (Eren went past this point long ago) you enjoy seeing how their mentality works. And this is fully respectable, but not the "uuuh my baby did nothing wrong". If we did the same with our kings Floch and Zeke, it would be crazy, wouldn't it?

I’m glad the Rumbiling was shown in its full glory. It didn’t hide anything about the situation and was very gory. I’m glad we were shown what happened to the people during it, and not just after.

I can't feel engaged in the rumbling when it has been the default scenario since the sea, but more specifically 123. The boy had a death flag the size of Marley and now he's dead. Thanks for the shock, Yams. I'm interested in the potential of everything else. I hope I didn't follow this story for the final conflict to be whether to save more people or less people

It was great to see the Rumbling in its full gore. Isayama showed it masterfully and rly put emphasis on how terrifying and disturbing it is. I was never anti or pro of it before, bc I'm just enjoying the view as the reader, that didn't change, and I still like Eren bc he is a very entertaining character.

I loved seeing how awful everything was. Ofc in real life I wouldn't support it, but narratively? Wow!

  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING BEST DESCRIBE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT THE RUMBLING? (MULTISELECT) 2,109 responses

This chapter didn’t hold back in its brutal display of the rumbling, and it may be difficult to find the words to describe it, so we gave you twelve. A clear majority are able to agree on it being both tragic and terrifying, closely followed by those who would describe it as unavoidable, distressing or immoral. The choices in the minority included describing the rumbling as awesome, justified or heroic. Fun fact, over a third of the people who chose “heroic” also described it as some combination of “excessive”, “immoral” and “indefensible”. Talk about mixed feelings.

  HOW DID THIS CHAPTER AFFECT YOUR VIEWS ON EREN? 2,093 responses

If we thought seeing the horrors of the rumbling would be a game changer when it comes to our view of the person who unleashed it, we were wrong. This chapter did nothing to change the minds of the 40% who support Eren and the 30% who do not. Only a minority (8.3%) said this chapter made their support for Eren wane.

We were most curious about the 20% who selected “I have no opinion.” When we’ve waited so eagerly for Eren’s POV, how could a quarter of the fandom be neutral on how it affected them? Was this a failure on Isayama’s part or were our poll options poorly worded? We decided that rather than having no opinion,  “I don’t know what to think yet” might have been the better cop out...err I mean *neutral* option :P

I was one of those that was convinced that there had to be something more to the Rumbling, and this chapter shocked me to my core by revealing that there really isn't. Eren is just that disturbed. We wanted Eren POV but we weren't ready for it. Now I just want to see how Armin and Mikasa end this.

i love eren so much nothing can make me hate him but he is insane... all this and for what. THEY COULDNT HAVE TALKED IT OUT??? i feel so bad for eren he clearly does not want to kill all those people man...

We finally have Eren's pov now; I still don't know how to feel about it, but I'll always support him.

Eren is a character who really disgusts me because of his fucked up delusion of fReEdoM but I love him at the same time because he's really well written, this boy is a fascinating mess.

This chapter seems to have made things pretty straightforward. Eren is a lot of things but he’s not one to go back on his word. He said he was gonna rumble and now he’s doing it.  Not sure why people are having a hard issue saying he wouldn’t have done it. Uhhhh hello he’s nuts

i get eren's side but i just wish that there was another way to bring freedom and justice without genocide

I support eren as a character, however if his actions were translated to real life I would disagree with them. At the end of the day, genocide is not ok. He could’ve wiped out military bases, but civilian deaths is not ok. HOWEVER, for the sake of fiction, & the fact that there’s no decent alternative, it’s team Yeager.

Deep down his choice is selfish and this is why he is ashamed of it, the rest are just justifications. And he is not the only character who has selfish objectives hidden over good intentions, Erwin fought for humanity, but deep down he wanted to prove his father right, and Reiner on his quest to "Save Humanity" was just a mask to become a hero.

Really I want to see Eren fufill his dream, I’m still supporting him.

Ymir might have a role to play in his mental state.

Not to support the rumbling or anything, but I do feel sorry for Eren. He's like a cornered animal that attacked in panic and that attack's freaking deadly.

Even though the rumbling is tragic, this is Eren truly getting his way, no matter what. It's a rare thing to see in any literary work, and although I'm curious as to what the downfall/tragedy of his character will end up being after this, I love it all because for what feels like the first time, a character with bad intent is using the god power to accomplish their goal, and I can't get enough of it.

  WHAT BEST DESCRIBES YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT EREN THIS CHAPTER 2,111 responses

Empathy for Eren is the theme for nearly 70% of the fandom with “I feel for him. He’s in a tough position” (43.7%) and “my heart aches for him” (22.1%) being the top two selections. On the opposite and more extreme ends of the spectrum, those who think he’s the greatest (15.1%) and those who think he’s the worst (14.9%) are nearly evenly matched. Interestingly only 4.2% expressed “I have no opinion” on this question compared to more than 20% on the question above.

Eren is my favorite character but I also don't support his actions.

I was disstressed for a few days after it.  How did it go to this? I kept reading this far just because I wanted Eren to be happy and have his happy ending, and what do we have now?..

I feel bad for eren, he's in a position no one would want to be, and he hates what hes doing no matter how much he needs to

This chapter could possibly stablish once and for all Eren as a unchangable character since he has reached a point of no return.

Eren is GOAT, the rumbling is wrong but I still love eren

This entire chapter just reaffirms the fact that Eren has always been a self absorbed, self-pitying child from the very beginning

I don't get how people can still support Eren just because he cried a little.

To think that all the shit that has happened since RTS (Sasha killed, Liberio attacked, Tybur murdered, Zackley assassinated, Nile and Pixis titanised, Levi forced to decimate his own titanised squad and then nearly dying, Jaegerist coup, Shadis beat up, Historia pregnant AND ANYTHING ELSE I'VE FORGOTTEN) is all because of some long, convoluted plan for one single boy's childish, problematically simplistic, black-and-white dream for "Freedom" is. I can't. I'm tired. Eren's pov is so outrageously outlandish that I can't relate. At all.

I cant feel bad for Eren, he is the only person responsible on his guilt and sadness. Also genocide is the worst option and even Eren says it.

He was sheltered his whole life; he has no proper context or framework for concepts like racism and war between humans. He “optimistically” thought his fight was that of human vs titan. That's why I don't blame him for coming to the Rumbling conclusion after the basement reveal. I give him a lot of credit for empathizing with "the other side" and I do believe Eren tried his best to come up with alternative solutions.

I feel for Eren, he was sold the idea of a perfect, peaceful, untouched world, ripe for discovery, filled with the beauty and awe of nature, but in reality it was full of cruel xenophobia people who hated his very existance. I don't support the rumbling but i understand why Eren did it.

Eren is obsessed with his perfect vision of "Freedom" where there are no limits to his will, but sadly for him, he lives on a reality where others exist and as long he has to interact with them, there are going to be limitations he is going to be bound. So even if he kills everyone outside the island, there is going to be another "wall" he needs to overcome.  

Seeing Eren cry and hear his doubts actually made me just more angry with him: "If you are so sad about the fate of the outside world then fucking change the future, don't just give up!!!!!!!" He seems to be very clung in the idea that the future is set and there is nothing he can do to change it.

Okay but look at Eren's centipedal Hell's creation's TINY BUTT. It's so funny seeing that little boney ass on this gigantic thing

  EREN SEEMS TO HAVE MANY MOTIVATIONS. HOW WOULD YOU RANK THEM?

This one was interesting. With this chapter’s iconic imagery of kid Eren spreading his arms declaring “this is freedom”, it’s unsurprising that most of us agree with that as a very important motivation for him. His friends were also chosen as a very important motivation, though not as much as his love for freedom. Historia and her child just edged out the motivation of the people of Paradis, though interestingly it has less “somewhat important” votes and more “not important at all votes”, making it clearly divisive even if it has more “very important” votes.. But the motivation with an even more divisive perception is revenge, with nearly an even split between those who view it as very, somewhat and not important at all.  

Everything Eren is doing is for the sake of his friends and Historia, there was no other choice to protect the island.

I think that the only thing what matters to Eren is freedom and reaching the perfect world he saw in his dreams after reading Armin's book. The dream of his inner child is playing the most important role in his life. Eren is ready to sacrifice his friends, his mentors and people on Paradis - just to see the special scenery and finally feel FREE.

Feel sad to see eren need to do all of this, but i know its for his friend and paradis

I hope that Eren doesn’t harm the alliance

  REGARDLESS OF WHETHER YOU FEEL POSITIVELY OR NEGATIVELY ABOUT EREN, DO YOU THINK HE IS BEING PORTRAYED AS A VILLAIN AT THIS POINT IN THE STORY? 2,098 responses

It’s truly a testament to Isayama’s strength as a writer when a character’s deliberate annihilation of billions is met with a majority response of “there are no villains or heroes here.” 57.1% think that as tragic as the situation now may be, nobody in this manga really qualifies as villainous. Or at least, not when our feisty protagonist is involved. 33.7% think the manga is a tale of a hopeful boy slowly turning to the dark side. 5.6% see this all as part of a hero’s tumultuous journey. Finally, 3.5% think it’s unfair to cast Eren as a villain since he’s not the one in control. Gotta say, if Eren is not the one destroying the world he really shouldn’t have said he was going to destroy the world.

This chapter just proves that Eren ISN'T a complete villain. I disagree with the rumbling, but what Eren's going through is something that I empathize with.This chapter just made it easier for me to keep rooting for everyone, even though a completely happy ending is not an option anymore.

I really hope Eren's in for a change of heart soon. I hate the idea of him being the final villain. He's definitely redeemable. Even he is eligible to have a dark foil and rival. Maybe we'll get that later on in Zeke who I feel is also redeemable.

More and more of the story is unveiled, I really like how this is going. Ever since knowing the outside world I have decided that Eren is no longer a hero but then he is not a villain either so does everyone in the story. I like Eren a lot but I'd say that I just like to observe, to see, never to support or to oppose. So this chapter is really amazing to me as I managed to see more about Eren.

eren is a villian whether you like it or not

I feel Walter white Vibe from Eren.

Eren is evil period!!!! There is no justification for mass murder. If he wants to savr his ppl then just wipe out the army, navy, air force, warriors and the leaders period not everyone including INNOCENT ppl....

EREN IS GOAT. He is portrayed as a hero who makes tough choices that no other shitty shonen character even can do.

Eren needs to stop the rumbling. It maybe justified his needs but the people outside the walls didn't deserved it. They're both each other's enemies. He used to say people outside the walls are monsters but he became one himself. He desired freedom but in the end he was a slave to his own desire.

Isayama could chose to make him some what of a villainous character, or he could chose to set it up as if eren is more of an anti hero doing then wrong things for the right reasons

  DESCRIBE THE CHAPTER IN ONE WORD 1,543 responses

No superlatives to describe how great or awesome this chapter was this month. The Rumbling hurt us all (well done, Yams, mission accomplished). That being said, it looks like we’re all masochists, considering this chapter is in the top 5 highest rated chapters since chapter 91.

Tragic [169; 4.69]

Sad [89; 4.73]

Pain [77; 4.86]

Depressing [69; 4.75]

Heartbreaking [48; 4.77]

  WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 2,089 responses

With what we want next chapter we find it especially surprising that the majority are ready to give Eren’s perspective a break. Since google sometimes fails us in displaying the data, we’ll just list it all out. Of the options we provided, our wishes for next chapter from most to least popular are: Let’s keep it with the Eren POV (23.4%), The alliance reaching Odiha (22.4%), WHERE TF IS LEVI??? (10.6%), I could go for a few more mental breakdowns (10.1%), More Ymir being mysterious (7.9%), WHERE TF IS LEVI??? (10.6%), SAVE US ZEKE (8.9%), Oh god go back to Historia please (8.5%), Finality for Floch (6%) and More birbs ovo (2.2%)

Yo where tf is Rico

I want to see levi

fuck yeah more mental break down, I'm ready to be depressed

I really want to see more of Armin and kid Eren in Paths next chapter. That one panel was super interesting and I would love to go back to it.

hurt me more isayama

Please yams I want to see Flochad kill Hange, that’s all I ask for.

Zeke returns next chapter pleaseeeee

HOPE WE GET TO SEE HOW THE ISLAND IS DOING NEXT CHAPTER

It's getting to the final and I don't like that

as only 3-4 chapters are left, I dont think we are going to get another eren POV, I am still dying to see the conditions of the other main characters, whereas zeke and floch are unfinished mysteries.

someone from alliance is dying soon

I've gotta see more Historia. What is she doing and thinking right now? What is her role moving forward?

Just shut up with historia in this survey. She's irrelevant. Now I hate answering your polls.Never again!

i literally don't know what to expect next chapter like yams is just THAT good

  WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 2,025 responses

The platforms where we discuss the series remain relatively unchanged with Reddit providing the plurality of responses. Thank you Reddit! We appreciate it. That said, we’d love to see this chart balance out a little more so please feel free to share the poll wherever you discuss the series. That includes the 5 of you degenerates on Snapchat.

  ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 553 responses

Uhhh *disappears*

ZEKE-KUN PLEASE BE A GOOD ONII-CHAN AND SAVE THE WORLD FROM YOUR TROUBLED LITTLE OTOTO

listen, birds are pretty cool ok

Beautifully tragic, exactly what I wanted to see from Eren after being shown in a villainous light for 30+ chapters. Being introduced to a new character, in particular an innocent child and then finally revealing his name and story was a perfect way to show the true horrors of an indiscriminate near-omnicide, it definitely brought tears to my eyes.

(😢) SIE SIND DAS ESSEN UND WIR SIND DIE JAEGER (😢)

As expected of Isayama-sensei, it's exactly right.

Annie being revealed as aromantic is the unexpected happy development in this tragedy.

Kiddos, the "it's just fiction" argument refers to the fact that you are allowed to *enjoy* watching fucked up things in fiction because people, in general, can distinguish between fiction and reality. It does not mean writing essays to *justify* said fucked-up things that happen in fiction, because you almost certainly start bringing your own real-life logic to fictional events. Aka, mixing up reality and fiction. Showing your true colors. Allowing your beliefs to slip into discussion. Whatever you call that.

THE BIRDS HAVE PATHS, I CALLED IT LAST CHAPTER!

Annie has always had a hard time expressing her feelings and that she has had complexes for a long time. I'm glad Armin was able to tell her what he was thinking because it will give Annie more confidence. Plus, Annie has always been introverted and I love that Isayama tells us more about her character.

The ravens are a reference to Odin’s, a mythology character. He has two ravens, they symbolise memory and mind/thought.

What a manga.

what eren did is right you can come up with any other solution

What in the everliving fuck is going on? Can we go back to factory reset and knock some sense into Eren before he starts having wild ideas like this one? Please

BEST SHIP FINALLY HAPPENING PROPERLY AHHHHH MY BOY ARMIN IS FINALLY TALKING ABOUT HIS FEELINGS EVEN IF IT'S SUBTLE

If Eren is the bird he really is Armins WINGman.

I KNEW ARMIN LIKED ANNIE! But seeing Annie blush was a nice surprise. I thought she was the ice queen in terms of romance.

This poll is bias toward historia. I wish if y’all stop the shipping b.s

birds are supposed to symbolize freedom in most cultures, innit?

This chapter was so important to me. It showed the reality of the rumbling, and that scenery, and most importantly, Eren's true feelings on the genocide, including his now split younger self. He feels guilty about it, he knows it's bad yet he has to do it because he has no other option if he wants Paradis and everyone he loves to survive. During my life I have had a lot of instances where I had to sacrifice a lot  in order to survive, including disociating and splitting my personality in two, crushing my own feelings to do what had to be done, so characters like Eren are very relatable in that sense to me. In a kill-or-be-killed situation, there is no place nor time for doubts nor mercy and you have to do what you have to do.

Very interesting, trágico and raw, but also  liked the comparison between different concepts of the world and freedom between Armin and Eren. Also loved all the AruAni moments, they were not only adorable but also helped those two characters talk about things they needed to open up about since a long time ago lol.

I want to get off Mr. Isayama's Wild Ride

Am I the only one who can't take the alliance seriously?

Wasn't really feeling the AruAni moment, but other than that top tier chapter can't wait for more.

Armin possibly realizes Eren isn't in the right state of mind. If Eren is projecting himself as a child, then Armin might be able to come up with a plan to stop what he is doing.

Fantastic, worth the wait.

Fav chapter yet. Fall of Wall Maria got overthrown as the most depressing event in the series for me.

Favourite line in AOT :"SIT DOWN"

I don't want it to end, but I am very happy about the direction the manga is going.

I felt for eren

This chapter was legendary, it hit all the right notes for finally giving Eren's POV. The shot of child Eren above the clouds will go down as one of the best panels ever... also Eren's line about "disappointment"... fantastic it gave me chills.

I find ‘the cycle of revenge’ storyline tiring. I’ve seen it so many times before and there isn’t anything new being covered here. I just feel tired and sad honestly. My last (and probably unfulfilled) hope for the series would be for Levi to make it through this, work things out with Zeke without violence and be able to move on in his life. He could help the survivors of the rumbling and reestablish civilization, maybe open his tea shop, see the world, maybe fall in love. I don’t really care. I just want to see my boy alive and doing okay for himself. A ridiculous thought for this series, I know. With 3-4 chapters left I feel we will most likely just be left in a misery marinara. I’m soaking in it right now.

I have too many thoughts on this chapter, I wouldn't know where to begin

i wanted him to save ramzi, but i didnt at the same time?? i was glad he didnt spare him, but im sad he didnt?? i dont know why

I just want everything to end already

i just want the best ending for all characters, esp Eren.

I like how Isayama is pushing the cognitive dissonance that i have of what side i should choose.....he is really fuckin with me at this point. All the thinking has now made me kinda numb

I like Isayama drawing birds and see the art improvement through the chapters :D I announce August is the Eek Appreciation Month dedicated to the Wings of Freedom! EEEEEEEEEEEK

I like that it pretty much ended the discussion of Eren having other plans. He's been totally honest the entire time. If he had other plans, why'd he put his friend in danger by having them fight against him?

for real had to pause for a bit at many points in this chapter lmao

Maybe this is why he never talked to his friends- he didn't care about discussing what's right for them, he just wanted his FrEeDoM and would walk over children to get it.

Glad to see Armin and Annie being cute, they deserve a few moments of happiness.

Glad to see Eren’s thoughts and feelings about the rumbling. There are a lot of loose ends that I was hoping to have some answers for in this chapter but it didn’t happen in this chapter, which just made me more intrigued.

Glad to see that Eren's uncaring exterior was finally dispelled this chapter

God I can't see this ending good and I just really want this to be over soon. Never rooted as much for an MC to die as now.

Which of the following best describe how you feel about the rumbling?  Pointless, it won't achieve anything.

while i find aruani cute i still find it weird since she literally was crying the previous chapter. i was disappointed that we didn't get to see all the alliance

Why tf is Ymir in the realworld!?

WHENS MAHVEL

SS ARUANI GONNA RUMBLE THE SHIP HARDER THEN EREN RUMBLED THOSE POOR CHILDREN, TAKE THAT NONBELIEVERS no really, this was built up from s1, and they have wonderfully complementing personalities. Sad that half the fandom gets triggered from any het ship (and vice versa)

Crack theory: Eren has two personalities which is why he acts in contradictory ways. The "evil" nature is in kid Eren and the "good" nature is in the bird. There is no consciousness in his actual body anymore.

Genocide route best route

Way better than the last chapter. 130 was just good art and shipping bait which felt like it was forced for the sake of the end of a volume. This chapter was amazing and balanced its multiple purposes effortlessly, as opposed to the clunky nature of the previous chapters. Probably the best chapter since Ymir's backstory. I love how Armin tied into it, we haven't seen he and Eren's shared dream brought up for a while, as it had faded into background despite being such a driving force for both characters before the timeskip.

I was sure that the dichotomy between Eren's motivations was clearly between his friends/the people he wants freedom for, and his own quest to soothe the anger he has in his heart. Essentially is he doing this for love or hate. Yet we get a third motivation introduced this chapter, of him achieving his child self's dream of freedom in a wall-less world, and what do you know it's tied into "that scenery/that sight", Isayama you genius. What does this mean about those other motivations, though? Is everything false and it's just what Eren is telling himself? What's the lie? What's the truth? What to believe…

It might just be because Eren subconsciously called to Armin. So if more memories surface, more characters can talk with him potentially.

Time loop theory!

Timey Wimey P A T H S shenanigans.

Even if I'm not surprised, it's disappointing to see how Eren is the worst Jaeger after all. He used to make bad decisions trying to help "humanity", but now he just thinks he's right, when not even half of Paradis agrees with his ideas.

I hate Eren from the bottom of my heart. He's disgusting, a total piece of shit. And I love Isayama for giving me all these feelings. He's the real GOAT here.

Really made me wish Isayama hadn't gone for the ~mystery~ of Eren becoming the villain and had instead at least given us the flashbacks in chronological order. The way this long-awaited PoV reveal has been done has felt so clunky and awkward.

I honestly don't understand those who used to support the Rumbling but no longer do after this chapter; maybe they are the same kind of people that romanticized Omnicide and kept defending it as the  "morally correct thing to do"  and that they "would most certainly do it"  if they were in Eren's shoes... Until the reality hit them and all of their posturing like a bag of bricks - i.e. the typical edgy keyboard warrior.

As a pro-Rumbling fan, I always knew this was the expected outcome; if anything this chapter was everything I hoped that Isayama would show to us because it once and for all disproved the idea that Eren has a plan beyond the Rumbling. A Lelouch ending (which I hope doesn't happen) can still be pulled, but its not something that Eren is actively working torwards, but the end result if the alliance somehow stops him.

rumbling go brrrrrrrr

Zeke is controlling the bird with his beast Titan ability that he learnt from the paths realm

"what will my mother think of me?" Ashamed of you, eren, duh.

I really can't feel sorry for eren when this is ultimately the choice he made. There were always other choices up until the point where he killed many world leaders in his attack on Marley.

A bit sappy but understandable. From a egoist point of view Eren is justified in his actions, but of course this just reaffirms the Eldians "monstrous" nature to them. The Eldians dont have a realistic out unless the titans are truly gone forever if Eren loses. Curious about the birds.

A freckled girl appeared. That's progress.

BRUTAL.

Also what about the Eldians living outside of Paradis Island? IMO they are the ones suffering the most

Can he even be stopped?

Can people stop saying that because you enjoy the direction of the story that you’re a genocide supporter? I like shooter games too but I’m obviously not going to go kill anyone, everyone needs to chill out with the moral policing, you sound like the Tipper Gore crowd. Is the rumbling justified? No, but it’s a great direction for the story and it was inevitable once it was established what was in the walls. Chekhov’s gun had to go off sometime, I’m actually surprised how many people seem to be agonizing over this.

Can't put it into words how amazing AOT has become and is just stepping over each level taking one step at a time !!!

Can't wait till next one

Changed the opinion of many people on eren's genocide

Chapter confirmed Eren is NOT the father

Cruel just like the world

This chapter re-assured me that that first scene of Mikasa is the moment she says goodbye to a dying Eren.

Damn bro it’s great

Dang. When this is animated, I guarantee a lot of youtubers and just the anime fandom in general will think this is the best series of all time.

Eren is one of the best MCs of all time.

Eren is one of the most tragic characters on manga

Eren is the best protagonist

Eren is the GOAT but is also wrong and needs to die real soon

EREN IS THE GOATTTT. AOT IS THE GOATTTT. ISAYAMA IS THE GOATTTT.

Eren is truly the best developed main character from any shonen series, this chapter made my mind.

Eren loses it, again

great job Isayama. well done you madman

Great painfull chapter, Eren having a breakdown Made me so sad and depressed,  I wish him to achieve freedom

Greatest manga of all time

greatest piece of fiction of our generation

Hange is right, this is not an acceptable solution

I cried while reading it no joke

I don't even know what to say about Eren. Sure, this chapter is showing his guilt, but that definitely does NOT justify his actions. EXPLAIN YOURSELVES, YEAGERISTS, EREN STANS!!!!!! (sorry I'm just angry about him)

I still think there needs to be a twist, because for me the character development still doesn't work. Eren and Historia have both forgotten common sense and do awful stupid things for stupid, hollow (plot) reasons, and the 104th this entire arc have both become somewhat useless and self-righteous at the convenience of the author. I don't care if the whole arc happened this way just because clearly Isayama wants to have the rumbling as the last arc, but if this was his objective he should have been more focused on character consistency and less on the mystery of it all. It still all feels less like the choices of actual characters than plot convenience, and it gives me the same sensation of the Serumbowl, which I thought was the nadir of the series.

If truly there's won't be some last minute twist it's just bad character writing in service of a plot decided in advance. Same with Historia and the 104th. Who cares about character consistence? Not Isayama, apparently

For some reason Eren wants Armin to the what his is doing.

Honestly, of all the characters Armin is the last I'd want succeding in stopping Eren. Let Mikasa have the spotlight, damn it.

Beautiful pain

Beautifully drawn but very gory

a person can gladly become a devil or a god if he has to, for justice.

A truly sad and terrifying chapter. I never understood how anyone could support this. Don't get me wrong. I understand plotwise why it had to happen. I knew Isayama would show us this. This part was unavoidable for the story he's trying to tell. Doesn't mean I have ever supported it, or that I ever will. But hey at least Aruannie is cannon, so that's a silver linning to this absolutely horrible chapter.

PS. I never wanted to punch a fictional character in the face as much as I want to punch Eren's. Alas, he's not real and I will never get the satisfaction of doing that.

Adding onto child eren's freedom panel, i believe it represents the idea of freedom he had wished for before he was betrayed by the world itself.

All hail the mad king

All that suffering, for what. You won but at what cost

IT MAKES MY HEAD SPIN AND THE FORSHADOWING BUILD UP TO THIS CHAPTER IS JUST *chefs kiss*

It really shows that Attack On Titan isn’t an ordinary story. It is a storyline filled with emotions, tragedies and somehow the cruel reality that this world possesses.

It shifted through a lot of POVs, it was pretty good.

It showed the rumbling and Eren in much more impartial way.

It was crazy to finally see in Eren's Head but all it did was confirm the things I was thinking for awhile and put me more on his side.At this point I'm ride or Die Eren Yaeger just so I can see how this all ends.

It was good, but I wish we would've gotten more with the rest of the crew going to Marley.

Listen, I really love Eren, I have deeply felt for him. I still do, I relate too much with his own traumas but since the timeskip. I have distanced myself from him and I don't and have never supported on his stance for genocide because he set this up with Zeke and pushed Marley to go into war while they didn't want it in the first place. However I have too much of a strong emotional connection to him so I understand him and I admit, it made me doubt a little bit on some of my stances. Since Eren is so different from who he was back before the timeskip, I have always assumed and the manga has not proved me wrong, that he's being influenced by something or someone which is feeling on his traumas, anger, depression and dissapointments. So I am still extremely optimistic about him.

Jesus Fucking Christ

its funny how the dream dies with reality

Its great to finally get some of Erens thoughts but it’s just made me think he’s not acc the one in control

My tears create a whole new ocean.

no opinion really, chapter felt kinda flat and repetitive in parts

Alliance supporters learning that Eren is suffering with all this shit and isn't trash and pitiful like their hypocrite babies who were genociding their own people in the last 32 volumes.

Amazing. The way Eren developed from this angsty little child to someone who's willing to kill everyone to achieve his childhood dream and save his pals is truly wonderful.

Rumbling go wee

I found it tragically ironic that Eren just has a passing thought of what his mom would think of his actions, and it reminds me of how he wouldn’t listen to her when he was younger. Do you think this is a subtle indication that Eren hasn’t matured from the thought processes of a selfish boy, or does he truly hold weight and more consideration to what his mother (and other people) would think? Personally, I think he is more aware of outside views, but just refuses to accept that reality because he is so stuck on his own desires.

It's one of the pivotal scenes because atleast I know that within Eren he still at somepoint have consicience and shows that at somepoint he can be stopped.

Rumbling goes rumble

Eremin <3

Yams makes me confused! I dunno!

Collosal Titans go brr

CONFUSING IN WAY TOO MANY PARTS!!! where to start or stop... from ymir to bird to child eren is all confusing af but nice :)

Depression and depression

Did we really need to spend that many pages on that AruAni BS? So much for fucking 5% being left.

Dis gon be good

Let's get the final confrontation underway!

Welp, there is absolutely no defying it: Eren is the big bad and there is no secret plan to make it up.

Let’s get ready to RUUUUUUUUMBLE!

LETS FUCKING GOOO

Levi and Hange convo when? Armin and Annie end of the world sex when? Jean confessing to Mikasa when? Floch suprise killing Connie or Jean when? Floch getting thrown over board to die at sea rather than being shot when?

LOLZ at anyone still defending the rumbling after this chapter portraying it as something heroic or justifiable

Make me feel. Make me feel more.

Man, this is rough.

Overall well rounded chapter. Time to get back to alliance and Historia after this though.

Poor Eren. But I kind of understand.

Ppl who are calling Eren GOAT or saying they were only sad in this chapter bc Eren cried are legit psychopaths.

Seeing Eren’s POV and reasoning behind pursuing the rumbling makes me feel for him. We know he cares about his friends, paradis, etc. I am at a loss of words for this chapter. However I will say this, Armin in paths with Eren is not a coincidence. I think isayama is foreshadowing of a conversation THEY’VE ALREADY HAD, and what’s to come..

Isayama is being stingy about letting his characters talk to each other properly. I mean really how many scenes do we have left on this boat while the rumbling goes on? When there’s still so much to be said. Wasted chapter imo, a lot more could’ve been said and done.

E+H=Y

Eren confirmed that he will kill everyone. The rumbling cannot be stopped.

Even though we have gotten some insight on Eren's pov, it has created more questions than answers. His motives are still very confusing and we are still being kept in the dark

Every chapter update makes me sad :( the story has gotten so tragic and i love it but oof. I didnt think it could get sadder but Isayama proves me wrong every month

Every new released chapter is better than the last one. I love these series. Props to mr. Hajime Isayama 💪🏆

Exactly what we needed, have more faith now.

Exceeded my expectations. The last two chapters were mindblowing after a slow mini Arc at the port. Isayama can really pull ar your heartstrings with flashbacks and Eren's pov.

Thanks Isayama for the microscopic eremin crumbs

that kid eren scene though... easily the best scene the series so far

That was damn perfect

That was f***ing amazing and awful at the same time. I want this series to end, but actually no. Keep going Isayama. You crazy motherf***er.

the "beyond the walls" talk between armin and eren is being brought up again and im emotional now thx

The ending's gonna disappoint people, no matter how well/badly it's executed. Chapter was cool, but overhyped imo

The pacing seems slow, but then again, it was recently nodded to that the manga won't end at Chapter 134 or 135 but 136. And Isayama does have everything planned out for a long time. I don't think he'll disappoint.

the significance of many things in the story are too epic, carla and mikasa look alike, grisha and eren look alike, historia and dina even look alike, the repeating actions, along with the intricate history formed, give us a lot to speculate but nothing to confirm.

I am somewhat sad for eren, to see the point that he has reached by having that freedom that he longed for so much but that I hardly think exists is sad, I don't know how the hell this is going to end but hey I don't know

I can't even begin to imagine how this is going to look in the anime. Definitely not for the faint of heart.

I can't imagine how the manga will end in a few chapters

I can't wait for 132.

I can’t believe this

I can’t wait to see this chapter voice acted, holy shit.

I loved the context that Eren's apology provides, really gives some much needed insight on his thoughts about the future during the timeskip

I need him to talk to mikasa and armin!

On this poll, I noticed that there's nothing about Mikasa haha. I want her to have a moment for the next chapter, or appear on Eren's memories. We know she's gonna be playing a big role for this arc.

I like where the story is going and I can’t wait for the anime so I can show AOT to everyone.

I think Eren is going somewhere. If he wanted to rumble the world, he can control the titans even from the safety of Paradis. I think he is going to that tree under which Ymir fell.

I think it focuses on Eren a bit too much. Maybe show us some Levi? Thank you.

i think reiner is gay

I am currently not taking a side. Not with Eren or with the Yeagerists or with our heroes. I'm just here to see how it all goes down and how Isayama wants to play it out. I've been enjoying every single chapter and being so moved it's insane. F the ship wars and the bs, this story is much more than that. And tragedy is written all over it. Ok brb getting my tissues prepared for next chapter.... 👍

I don't know how many more issues we're going to have but I worry that the story is going to come to a screeching halt and leave too many questions unanswered. Isayama has got so many plates spinning, narratively speaking, I have no idea how he is going to finish them or if he'll finish them at all.

Just a series of gut-punches one after the other after every panel, oof this chapter affected me more than any other. It also made me wonder about how the planet in general would be affected.  Like how would ecosystems change?  Will Eren only go after the civilized countries and then stop?  Or will he not let a single person survive outside the island and just actually steamroll the whole planet?  If he does, wouldn't that change climates and stuff?  What's about the animals and plants? Am I thinking too much about this? How will the drastic changes affect the Paradisians? All this assuming the alliance doesn't manage to stop him (which is likely)

although initially him and reiner seemed to pursue the same path, eren initial motive was to wipe them all and he said it multiple times, I don't believe he has guilt nor remorse because "it was all set from the very start"

We also got a seamless reintegration of the theme of what it means to be a "good person", something both Armin and Annie have grappled with as far back as Female Titan arc, and it's great to see it re-emerge in the context of the rumbling. Annie is an underrated character. Isayama could have had her come back with some bullshit royal blood or daughter-of-Kruger twist, but instead he decides to integrate her into the conflict as her own person and make her a more interesting character than Reiner (sorry Soul).

Eren is allowed to have emotions, he should be able to feel terrible about himself for having to wipe out most of humanity. But he also believes that this is the only way. He begged Hange if there was another way, he WANTED an option that didn't end with the world being rumbled. When Hange had no ideas, and no else had a plan that would keep Paradis safe, he felt like he had to move forward, towards freedom.

Eren is neither right or wrong in his decision. Killing innocents, destroying entire ecosystems and ending human civilization is morally bankrupt. In many ways his plan is short sighted, but when I say this, my stance comes from a logical standpoint rather than a moral one(the political instability of the island, the precedent it sets, the danger he put his friends in). The *most* moral thing to do was a partial rumbling(there are still some issues both logistical and moral) and while 2 wrongs don’t make a right, I hold Marley and many other nations equally at fault for not being willing to end this diplomatically. Their scorched earth policy brought this on. It’s unfortunate that their citizens are paying the price for their governments crimes. But you can’t threaten to wipe out an entire civilization with no negotiation and not expect a desperate response like a full rumbling. This doesn’t absolve eren of responsibility of his actions, but the rumbling is an extremely unfortunate even that was 100% avoidable if diplomacy had been an option.

Eren, no! That’s all I can say at this point! Armin please, I’m begging you, stop your mans.

Eren, what the fuck?

Eren's self pity doesn't change the fact that he's killing millions of innocents and he's not going to stop despite it.

Eren’s guilt over his actions doesn’t mean a thing considering he’s still doing it. The fact that he saw the future and did nothing to stop it (and actively made it happen) makes him even worse. I don’t feel sorry for him in the slightest.

Even though Eren has the skeletal structure as an (I don't even know.. turkey/bird.. eh...) people are still going to simp the shit out of him on twitter, like jfc-

Eren wanted to destroy all life outside paradis not because he wanted outside world to be just a wonderland of blazing fire , grasslands etc. but because the people outside are making it impossible enough for him to realise his dream of total freedom

I would like to add that AruAni scene was, in my opinion, really important for both armin and Annie character development, since they're having a romance scene with the theoretically enemy (armin is from paradis and Annie is from Marley). I think this represent well that people from Marley and people from Eldia can live together, without violence. (I wish I could write more, but English is not my first language)

I'm glad we're finally getting things more thoroughly from Eren's perspective. Up until now, his motivations and thoughts have mostly been discussed by other characters, but we finally get to hear from him directly. This chapter mostly confirmed what I suspected, that Eren isn't heartless, but he was also a tragic character that was perfectly aware of the destruction he was about to bring upon so many people. Overall really good, can't wait for the next chapter, whatever it may be.

I'm happy that Isayama made clear what an egoist and violent nature  Eren always had, since he was a child: he's not an hero, not an avenger and surely not the "chad goat" some teen edgelords think.

I'm literally shaking so hard rn

The wall titans were always an obvious metaphor for "what if Japan had WMDs", but in this chapter this is made even more obvious when there is nothing left from migrant children but two dark kid-shaped splatters on the ground, which is a pretty clear visual reference to citizens of Hiroshima leaving nothing but scorched silhouettes behind when the atomic bombing happened.

Ironically, there was a popular twitter thread this week about the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and despite not being very familiar with the topic itself, I was somewhat amused to find the arguments in the comments to be very familiar. It's payback, it's to prevent future war, it was justified because of Japanese government's war crimes, Japanese citizens were indoctrinated and racist and would NEVER give up fighting foreigners so bombings were a mercy, it's collateral damage, etc etc.

The warriors deserve much better than being used as props.

There's 99% chance this series is getting a downer ending

They had it coming. The world was warned yet they still provoked him so much. I feel for Eren..

What is the most disappointing thing is how selfish and unreasonable mankind can be. So much hatred between so many people and nations, the world of Attack on Titan is a cursed one. So much blood spilled everywhere, and why? Is it because it's justice? Or is it because it's mother nature? Or is it because mankind is known for bloodshed and selfishness? So much hatred has blinded people, they no longer care to listen for the reason. Nothing matters to them, just their goals. All of this pointless conflict when people can simply try to speak up, try to understand each other, simply make bonds. If people could only live with a bit more empathy... All we can do is hope that so many deaths will have any meaning. Or perhaps Genocide/omnicide never had any meaning... Perhaps all of this was pointless strife.

This chapter confirmed Uri's predictions during his conversation with Kenny by the river. It remains to be seen now whether the alliance will be able to stop eren. I am sad for the world and for Ramzi and his brother. The pictures were horrible to watch (Isayama is very good at drawing emotions).

i'm...so very tired

I’m freakin cryin i need someone to hold me

Slowly, everything is coming back in its place. I am super dedicated at this point to the manga and I just hope Isayama is gonna be able to reach the perfect conclusion for such all these years of construction.

So Eren is a fish Titan...?

Still pro-rumble

Such a tragedy this whole story is. Really heartbreaking to witness. But so meticulously done and masterfully written.

Somebody said, maybe Eren and Zeke were actually fighting or going on memory journey schmuck in the Paths currently, that's why Eren is sleeping and automatically runs the titan on the outside.

If zeke didn’t pull this shit up in the first place none of this wouldn’t happen

Starting to reconsider the time-loop theory being wrong. Everything is literally coming full circle.

Isayama youre a genius but you love seeing us hurt and confused dont you 😭😭😭

It bothered me how surprised people were that Eren did the rumbling and it was sad.  He's been saying he was gonna do it for ages, and now he is.  What's with the surprised pikachu fandom?

Jesus Christ everyone needs therapy

Please end this story with happy ending!

[writinginthesecrettrees]

Hi! I found you through a post where you say you like TRAJQ, and you ship Jonny and Jessie. Do you have any fic recs to share? Thank you!

I am so excited to rec my absolute favorite fanfic series of all time!!! I only have this one, because I haven’t been in the TRAJQ fandom in ages, but it’s absolutely brilliant. Featuring 3 novel length fics and a bunch of shorter stories: 

The Jealousy Saga by Debbie Kluge

Jealousy

Jealousy 2: The Return of Francesca

Summer Camp

On The Edge of Madness

Battlefield - this is my personal favorite in the series, also the first novel-length fic

Firezone

Growing Pains I: Choices

Sipahigiri

There are other stories in the series, but these are the core and the ending of Sipahigiri is a satisfying finish. What I love about it is that it all feels like a realistic continuation of canon. It’s well-written, well-plotted, and gripping from start to finish, and uses a lot of threads from the series to weave it together. The original characters fit into the universe really well, too. It’s also really fun to see how the author grew as a writer throughout creating the series!

I started reading it when only the first four stories had been written, and I remember waiting breathlessly for each new chapter of the fics after that. I’ve reread it countless times. I just love this series!

(also, and I can’t believe I’m gonna add this one, my first-ever fanfic I wrote when I was 17 is a songfic “True to Your Heart” and if anyone chooses to read it, I beg you to remember I was seventeen and making my first attempt at fanfic and abandoned that account a very long time ago. But it’s a good memory for me, because I sent it to Debbie Kluge along with my first-ever fan mail and she was kind enough to read it over and give me a few pointers.)

To conclude: Jonny + Jessie forever! Oh, I miss the Hopeless Romantics archive. And Suze Howe’s archive. There was an amazing Jonny Quest/Sailor Moon crossover there, where Bandit was Luna, Jonny transformed into Sailor Moon, Hadji turned into Sailor Mercury, Race became Sailor Mars, and Jessie was Tuxedo Mask. Dr. Quest went insane and wandered around singing “Que Sera Sera.” My first experience with crack fic.

[vegetacide]

Tagged

Tagged by @gumnut-logic  :)

1. Would you rather accessorize with scarves or necklaces?

Scarves,  cause I like soft stuff to snuggle and hide my face in.

2. How old were you when you first saw mountains? (Or if you haven’t seen mountains, what do you imagine they’re like?)

Smokey Mountains on a road trip... erm.. in my mid teens I guess...

3. Do you make your bed in the morning?

It a habit I recently started when we first went on lock down to help me get my day started... prior to that.. hell no as I would just be crawling back into them later.

4. What type of stories did you like as a child?

Book wise when I was little.. anything my Dad would read to me at bedtime...As a teenager it was Sci-fi, fantasy and romance and hopefully all in the same book. 

5. What was the most exhilarating experience of your life?

Hmm ...no idea so will pick some at experience at random... sailing through a sun shower in St. Thomas on one of our honeymoon excursions to see sea turtles in their natural habitat. ...

Snorkeling for the first time in the ocean..

Skiing down a winter slope when I was a kid and somehow not managing to kill myself (I suck at skiing) 

First day we brought my daughter home from the hospital.. feels surreal as I sit here to think the 5 year old softly snoring beside me was once sooooo small and it was ONLY 5 SHORT YEARS AGO.  Dude, when they say the little years go by fast.. they weren’t kidding..

Oh.. and of course walking down the isle and somehow not tripping over my feet and face planting in front of my family and friends as I was shaking like a leaf caught in a hurricane having a mild panic attack and worried I was going to fuck up somehow.

Okay, so the last one was more terrified than exhilarating but.. meh...

6. Do you agree with the concept of exotic pets?

Here in North America... if the thing was born in the wild.. it should stay in the wild...unless under the extreme circumstances of animal rescue when the animal can’t be returned to the wild..   If it was breed in captivity and is not on the endangered species list and wont eat you or rip your face off...say like a hedge hog which is oddly enough considered exotic where I am.. then its okay but only if the owner can provide a loving, healthy home.  (wolf hybrids,  tigers, ligers, and other exotic large cats are the exceptions as no one can care for them properly unless specialized training has taken place and you have like a billion acres of land for them...basically any animal that has not been domesticate over hundreds of years ... leave em alone... )

7. Describe your feelings about maths.

Necessary evil...enough said. 

8. When was the last time you finished a book?

Do audio books count? If so.. in March right before lock down.  Listened to a lot of books on my travels to and from work..   Currently I am able to actually pick up a hard copy and I am working my way through Crazy, Rich Asians.   Good book!

9. What’s a small way that you’ve been kind recently?

All the things I have done recently have just been what is expected of a normal human being with responsibilities so I cant really say.. erm.. made an extra meat loaf for my Dad so I know he is eating well... collected his beer bottles for return cause they just started excepting them again.. 

Started making my husband lunch as he was recalled to work... Do his laundry cause he usually does it for himself...

I haven’t really be out much in the world lately and as I said.. basic stuff. 

10. What new hobby/activity have you always wanted to try?

And got to the bottom and I think I fucked this up... oh well.. lmao.. so on to the questions I was supposed to answer...ooopppsss..  gonna leave the other answers above cause I spent the time to write em.. 

Oooh, and now I have to ask questions…

1. If you could go anywhere, where would you go?  

Falling Lakes aka  Plitvice Lakes National Park  in Croatia cause it looks beautiful and would be the closest thing on Earth to being in a fantasy novel..  

2. Favourite pasta shape?  

No favourite shape.. just spoon sized cause spaghetti is messy

3.What do you need to do everyday to keep your mind and body working well?

Wake up... lmao

4. First ever fandom and why? How old were you?

This is a surprisingly hard question to answer as I have loved many things over the years.. I have always loved cartoons going back as far back as I can remember and later in life comic books and anime  so will answer this by first fanfictions  and first community.... 

Well.. first fanfiction i got hooked on reading was for Sailor Moon..age..erm... high school so like maybe grade 9ish..  At that point I had always loved cartoons but Sailor Moon really sucked me in. 

First I wrote and will never see the light of day... Biker Mice From Mars and/or G.I.Joe...cant rightly remember which came first and I am a huge Snake Eyes fan.  

First posted... DBZ I believe under another name.. and ermm.. no, I wont tell. 

First community I joined... Dragon Ball Z on here in fact.. and within the last few years.   I am still a DBZ fan but I jumped the fandom community wagon and joined up with a bunch of Thundernerds and completely fell down the rabbit hole.

And I am being vague about the age for a reason.. lol   

5.Deserted beach or snazzy night club?

Beach! 100% Sand between the toes,  the sound of the water lapping up the shore.. the smell of the salt in the air.. the sun on my back and my sandals dangling from my finger tips.. ahhhh perfection. 

6. Do you find it easier to talk to people online or offline?

Online.. cause there is security in anonymity. 

7. What do you think is the aim in your life? What do you ultimately want to achieve?

Wow.. talk about a soul baring question.. lmao.. I don’t know.. to be remembered and looked back on kindly.   To be better then those before me and to not make the same mistakes.. to be a good mom to my daughter and to not fuck her up to bad. (I answered this one out of order.. meh)   

8. Coolest Thunderbird

....well this one should be an obvious answer. lol

9. What is your absolute favourite topic to talk about?

My interests.. which are vast and varied. 

10. Do you have an embarrassing story to share?

How I fucked up this questionnaire.. lol 

okay so now for questions to ask,..if I understand this right that is what i am supposed to do now... hmm

1. Favourite dessert.

2. What would you rather...fine dining or eating around a camp fire?

3.  Favourite past time outside of here?

4. If you were a video game character, who would you be? Why?

5. Flight or invisibility? 

6. In the case of a zombie apocalypse what would be your escape plan and what would you do to survive? 

7. If you could go on a road trip anywhere in the world.. where would you go and what car would you be driving? 

8. Who would be in the seat beside you? 

9.  What would you rather... watch a thunderstorm or close the blinds

10. What 10 questions would you come up with if you could ask anyone anything?  (Ya, I so cheated there mu ha ha a ha) 

Feel free to answer.. or not. Open to anybody just copy and paste the last 10 questions.. not the whole thing like I did... oops... cause that would be wrong.. Oh and if you made it all the way down here after this long ass ramble .. GOLD STAR FOR YOU!  :) 

[judesowndaughter]

𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐢’𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫

tagged : @goregalorr & @gothdied (thank you both! i had a blast answering these!<3) tagging : @4x0hxnxroll @inthiskingdom @et-inarcadia-ego @mlkcrtn @hedonistique and anyone else who wants to do it! :)

one - (alias / name) : les two - (birthday) : a cosmic joke three - ( zodiac sign) : astronomy says it’s aries and that’s why physics and carl sagan can scientifically prove that i have no brain cells four - (height) : 5′5″  five - (hobbies) :  writing, drawing, reading, hiking. anything that involves paper or going outside and enjoying nature. i’m kind of an idiot for dramatic cliffsides and/or the beach.  six - (favorite color) : tie between lapis lazuli, lavender blue, and baby blue. i jsut....i rlly like blue.  seven - (favorite books) : hard to say???? gonna go with: their eyes were watching god by zora neale hurston, mama day by gloria naylor, the house of asterion by jorge luis borges, the bacchae by euripides, frankenstein by mary shelley, and a death in the family by james agee. nine - (last film or show watched) : birds of prey for film....mindhunter for show...?? or maybe it was the first season of riverdale idek i can’t remember i don’t watch much tv. ten - (inspiration for muse) :  aaaaAAAAAHHHHHHH aight so this is. hm. i’m simultaneously fascinated by kate and disappointed with the fandom’s portrayal of her, and i’ve felt that way for years. taking a peek into kate’s room and getting a glimpse of her relationship with her family just...really drove it home. and some of this is due to my own personal experiences. but what really got my inspiration going was music---particularly curses by the crane wives and bible belt by dry the river. both songs paint a picture of this young person struggling with an unsustainable level of responsibility that they should never have been saddled with. it’s that attitude of quiet determination to carry on, marred by resignation that this is all life can be, that makes me think “this is kate”. i could write an entire dissertation on all of the different things that give me inspiration, (like greek mythology) but i’ll close this by saying that where I’m going generally consists of drawing inspiration from my own memories of nature and the presence of rivers and the ocean. i wish i could say that i had a writer that inspired me for kate, but half of the time i’m really just dicking around. eleven - (story behind url) : i needed a URL but i didn’t have any ideas except that i kept thinking of st. jude and how kate slept next to a sacred heart of jesus poster in the hospital. out of all of the saints, kate strikes me as a person who would really identify with the patron saint of lost causes and desperate situations, particularly during the events of LIS. this idea that she’s this child of jude because of her dire situation just really rings true to how i write her and the themes/aesthetics of her story. and if there’s one thing i know, it’s that i’m always a sucker for the aesthetic. 

[thegoldendice]

Love Is A Battlefield

Fandom - American Horror Story 1984

Pairing - Xavier Plympton/Reader

Rating - Explicit

Warnings - Suicide, Violence, Mental Heath Issues, Sexual Content, Language, Religious Content

Chapter - 4/12

Read on - ao3, ff.net

Fic Summary - The year is 1984. You're a poor student living alone in L.A., plagued by your problematic relationships with a false friend and a disturbed ex. You meet Xavier Plympton, an aerobics instructor with a dark past, at the gym where you’ve taken a reception job. You quickly develop feelings for him, and you learn to your relief that he likes you too. Soon a deadly series of events befall you and the people in your life. Overwhelmed by tragedy and with your blossoming romance cut short, you are left a wreck. Six years later you discover that while Xavier is dead, he hasn’t quite departed. You soon realise that if you are to be with him and finally achieve true peace and happiness, you must take your own life and become a Camp Redwood ghost.

Chapter Summary - Your recent knowledge of Xavier's porn career leaves you feeling intimidated. Xavier is able to reassure you, however, and you are powerless to resist his charms. Scott deals you another blow, threatening to destroy Xavier's reputation and your budding romance all at once. 

You watch Xavier as he chats with Montana. He flashes his teeth at her and reaches out to touch her arm. Certain things he does, certain movements he makes, could be taken as flirtatious. And yet, you’ve seen him behave similarly with Chet, or Ray, or any number of other people. Recently he flirts with you. Thinking about other things he has done with you lately, you find it difficult to believe he’s gay. If anything, he likes both guys and girls. Right now you only care if he likes you. Despite that, you have to admit that the thought of Xavier’s porn career is posing a problem for you.

You made Scott explain himself over the phone after he let you in on the so-called secret. Alex, Scott’s roommate, has been out for a number of years. If Alex is to be believed, Xavier has starred in gay porn. The instant Scott’s words reached you, you remembered the look on Alex’s face when he saw Xavier. It was recognition. Scott seemed to take delight in your silence, but he misunderstood what it was that had stopped you short.

The vision of Xavier having kinky sex with Amy, the vision that haunted you the night of their date, had come back to you, forcing its way into your psyche unbidden and unwanted. You cringed inside at the knowledge that your very limited sexual experience would appear pitiful to someone who had starred in porn. Xavier would surely laugh at your lack of prowess, having had a vast range of wild sexual experiences.

You had hung up on Scott while he was still laughing cruelly at you.

You try to concentrate on work, but Xavier takes up your every thought. When he inevitably speaks to you, you don’t quite know what you will say to him. Maybe if you focus on your inconceivably boring stock checks, you will look so busy that he will leave you alone so you can put off telling him what you know.

No such luck.

“Hey Y/n.”

You glance up. Xavier is leaning across your desk, facing you as if his whole body is eager to touch you. He looks particularly cute right now, with his little backpack over one shoulder. Seriously, nobody else in here could pull that thing off. You have to smile despite the worry that lurks in the pit of your stomach.

“Hey, you.” You attempt a smile. Xavier appears so pleased at your affectionate greeting, you feel a pang of guilt knowing you’re about to ruin everything. “Do you have a minute? I was kinda hoping we could chat. Maybe somewhere private though?”

Concern creases Xavier’s brow. You know your tone was less than cheerful.

“Okay, uh, my car?”

“Sure.” You nod.

Screw work, this is important.

~

Xavier’s eyes are on you, you can feel it. You’re sitting alongside him in the front of his car. Silence fills the space between you. The intoxicating smell of his cologne is so intense in here, you’re finding it hard to concentrate.

“So I uh, I thought we should talk because I... I got a call from Scott last night and he told me about... the porn.” You look up in time to see Xavier’s eyes widen. His face is pale. He takes a shuddering breath as you plough on. “I want you to know, your sexuality is not an issue to me. I grew up in a very liberal environment and—”

“I’m not gay.” Xavier cuts you off. “How the hell does Scott know, I don’t tell anyone? My acting career would be over if it got out.”

Xavier is blunt. You have to wonder if he is angry with you. You can think of nothing worse.

“Alex, Scott’s roommate. The guy he came here with. He’s seen it.”

You watch Xavier’s face as he processes the information. His eyes close and stay that way for what feels like an hour. When he opens them, his expression is hard.

“I’m tied into a... contract, of sorts. I’m trying to get out of it, but it’s proving difficult.”

“So you’re not doing it through choice?” You frown. “How is that fair? What kind of contract is it?”

“Let’s just say I made a deal with the devil.” Xavier lets out a hollow, humourless laugh. “I need to smoke, I’ll go outside.”

Before you can say another word, Xavier exits the car. You sit still, trying to figure out if he’s pissed at you. Surely he can’t be, you’re just the messenger? Before you have any more time to question the situation Xavier gets back in beside you, bringing a cloud of smoke in with him. He begins talking almost immediately.

“I want you to know, I’m always careful.”

“Huh?” You look at him blankly, not understanding at all. Xavier shrugs slightly. He looks a little embarrassed.

“I always use condoms, I get checked out regularly. I’m totally healthy.”

You feel your face colour. This is the hard part. The part you didn’t want to face. Xavier’s exciting and varied sex life. Although you have to admit, it doesn’t sound all that great now that you know the details.

“Thanks. For telling me.”

“Sure, I mean if we’re gonna date, you should know. That is if you still want to?”

You can tell that Xavier is trying to appear nonchalant, but it’s not working. The concern he feels is written all over his face. It suddenly occurs to you that you may not be the first person to find out about his secret.

“Is this why you and Montana broke up?”

You realise that you haven’t answered Xavier’s question yet, but it suddenly feels imperative that you know what happened to end his previous relationship. Xavier takes his time answering.

“Regardless of the porn, Montana and I are not good for each other. She has this way of bringing out the worst in me. I think I do the same to her. She’s one of my best friends, but... I don’t see a future with her.” Xavier looks away, avoiding eye contact with you for a second before bringing his gaze back to settle on you. “I want to be with someone who makes me feel good, and whole, and happy.”

Xavier reaches his hand towards you and tucks a strand of your loose hair behind your ear. It’s such an intimate gesture that your breath hitches, your heart beating faster. You can tell that he wants to kiss you.

“Xavier, there’s something that’s actually been worrying me.”

He pulls back slightly, waiting. You take a deep breath.

“This is hard for me to admit, although I don’t know why. It shouldn’t be but...” You shake your head, trying to stop yourself from getting off track. “I’m not very... experienced, with sex stuff. Knowing that you are, it makes me feel... intimidated. I’m sorry.”

You force yourself to watch Xavier’s face. He doesn’t look angry, much to your relief. If anything he seems slightly confused.

“But, it’s all fake Y/n. Seriously, not a single bit of it is real. There’s no emotion, no connection. I fucking hate it!”

Xavier’s voice breaks. You pull him to you, dreading the thought that you might have inadvertently made him cry. Your heart breaks for him.

“I can’t believe you’re stuck in this situation. There must be something you can do?”

“No,” Xavier mumbles into your shoulder. “There’s nothing. All I can do is run. I’m leaving for the summer, I got a job at a camp. I was planning to tell you tonight.” Xavier draws back to look at you. “I wanted to ask you to come with me but, I understand if this porn thing is too much.”

You look at Xavier’s face. His beautiful features are marred by sadness. In this moment you’d do anything to make him happy. You know you can overcome your shyness after realising there’s nothing to be intimidated by. If anything, Xavier’s situation is to be pitied. You squeeze his hand.

“It’s not too much. I understand everything. I was unsure before but now I’m not.”

Xavier leans in to kiss you. You push your tongue past his lips hungrily, taking possession of his mouth. The emotional roller coaster you’ve been riding for the past twenty minutes has left you overwrought. You cling to Xavier, using his kiss to numb the ache inside you with complete disregard for propriety. He breaks away, panting.

“We can’t do this here. Come home with me tonight?”

You nod eagerly, separating yourself from him in order to calm down before heading back inside.

~

Xavier lifts your shirt up and over your head in a swift, unbroken movement, throwing it to the floor of his lamplit bedroom. He’s already topless. You can’t help but notice that his muscles seem too perfect, as if they are carved from marble. You inhale sharply as your nipples rise to greet the cool air. You feel gooseflesh spread across your shoulders and back. The sensation elicits a small shiver from you. Xavier’s beautiful, full lips curve upwards in a slight smile as his eyes rake over the sight of your naked torso. You feel nervous at his unabashed approval. Glancing down shyly, you can’t help but notice the size of the erection straining against his shorts. The desire to touch him overwhelms you and you reach to softly brush the tips of your fingers along the length of his cock.

In response, Xavier bends his head and takes the lobe of your ear between his front teeth, biting down ever so slightly. You shiver again as a creeping sensation travels down your spine. Xavier moves to kiss your neck, licking and sucking just hard enough to be pleasurable but leaving no mark.

Your fingers make their way to the waistband of Xavier’s shorts and pull down, allowing his cock to spring forth. His heady, potent scent reaches your nostrils, sending a thrill through you. You allow yourself a second to regain composure before gently taking him in your hand. His skin feels like velvet as you begin to rub him. He moans into your neck, his fingers sliding through your hair. His other hand is occupied, cupping and massaging your breasts.

Xavier detaches his mouth from your neck in order to lick his thumb. He focuses his attention on one of your nipples, tracing wet circles around it. When he squeezes it between thumb and forefinger, a pinprick of sensation travels right down to your clit, where you feel the tiny jump of a pulse. You know you must be getting damp. You begin to feel ashamed, but you shut down the feeling. You remind yourself it’s not shameful for your body to respond this way. You are going to let yourself enjoy this.

Xavier grasps the nape of your neck and lifts your head to meet his. You respond open-mouthed, happy to welcome his tongue with your own. You taste the slightest hint of whatever he’s been smoking. Kissing him like this feels electric. You wonder what it would feel like if his tongue touched your pussy. You’ve never had anyone do that to you before. Scott wanted to, but you were always too shy. You decide that if Xavier asks to do it, you’ll agree. You feel safer and more comfortable with him than you ever have with anyone else.

Xavier breaks the kiss, panting heavily. You’re still stroking him.

“Should I lie down?”

Your voice is roughened by arousal. Xavier nods and you quiver with excitement, backing up until you feel the bed behind you. Xavier hovers over you as you lie back onto the pillows. His cock presses hard against you as he leans down to suck at your neck once again. He grasps your skirt, halting any other action until it’s completely removed. He wastes no time in also helping you relieve yourself of your underwear. Instinctively, your hand flies to cover your intimate area. Xavier watches you. His eyes come up to meet yours. They are full of hazy lust, but he’s not lost himself entirely yet.

“Will you let me watch you touch yourself?”

He sounds almost reverent. It’s as if watching you masturbate will be a religious experience for him. You can’t find your voice to respond, so you nod instead. You proceed to open yourself up, dipping your forefinger inside slightly to wet it before circling your clit. Xavier sits right beside you, his chest rising and falling faster than normal. You feel close already and can’t help the soft moan that escapes your lips. Xavier’s eyes roll back, closing and opening again to fix on yours.

“Fuck, I want to taste you.”

You nod as you spread your thighs, releasing quick, shaky breaths. Your stomach muscles clench involuntarily as Xavier positions himself between your legs. His tongue on you feels exquisite. He knows exactly what to do, circling your clit, lapping at your juices. When he repeatedly licks the entire length of you like ice cream on a cone, you know it won’t be long until you come. The sensation builds inside you, exploding aggressively when Xavier works in a finger, tickling the places you’ve never been able to reach. You can’t help but run a hand through his hair. It’s not as stiff as you expected it to be. You grasp it lightly as your orgasm begins to disperse, sending warm sensations all around your body.

You release your hold on Xavier’s hair. He is placing small, delicate kisses onto the inside of your thighs. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him look happier. You stroke his face, bringing it gently up towards you. You look deep into his eyes.

“I want you, Xavier.”

His breath hitches slightly.

“You’re sure?” It’s almost a whisper.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

You smile at him in a way that you hope is reassuring.

“I’ll be right back.”

You sit up slightly and watch as Xavier grabs a condom from inside a set of drawers across the room. This sort of thing used to embarrass you, but now it feels completely natural. His back is to you as he puts it on. Your eye is drawn to the curve of his ass. His skin looks golden in the lamplight. You imagine sinking your teeth into that perfect, peachy roundness. Blood rushes to your cheeks. These are not normal thoughts for you to be having. Xavier turns, bringing your attention back to his face. He looks at you intently as he climbs back onto the bed, settling between your legs. He crashes his lips against yours. You moan into his mouth, anticipation building. You can’t wait to feel him inside you.

Xavier stops kissing you, concentrating on wetting his cock, brushing it up and down your pussy. You still feel sensitive, little bursts of sensation streaking through you each time you feel pressure on your clit. Xavier brings himself to your entrance, slowly pushing inside. You relish the fact that there is no resistance as he fills you up. You squeeze slightly with your inner muscles, eliciting a delighted smile from him.

Xavier kisses you again with relish as he begins to thrust, establishing a steady, controlled pace. You surprise yourself by digging your heels into his back, wanting to feel him even deeper inside you. As if he can hear your thoughts, Xavier leans back, grabbing one of your legs and placing it on his shoulder. This new angle allows Xavier to hit your inner walls in a way you’ve never experienced before. You groan loudly at the sheer intensity of what you are feeling.

“Fuck, if you keep making noises like that I’m gonna come.” Xavier manages.

He’s breathing heavily now, beads of sweat appearing on his brow. His hair no longer looks perfect. His mouth finds yours again, his kisses messy. You feel him quicken his pace as he lets your leg back down. You wrap your arms around him, pulling him in as deep as possible. He does nothing to temper the volume of his groan as his climax consumes him, collapsing onto you as gently as possible. You feel a tiny hint of regret, knowing that the condom stopped him from spilling inside you.

Xavier stays perfectly still for a minute before rolling off to one side. You feel the loss of him inside you instantly. He breathes deeply as you kiss his forehead, tasting his salty sweat. He strokes your cheek in response, smiling blissfully. His eyes, the colour of an icy blue sea, are only slightly clouded with pleasure.

“You’re amazing.” It’s a whisper, but you hear it loud and clear.

“I didn’t do anything.” You breathe.

Xavier shakes his head infinitesimally. His earring catches your eye for the briefest second as it flashes in the lamplight.

“It’s not about what you did,” Xavier replies. “It’s about who you are.”

You wrap yourself up in the soft, warm blankets as he goes to clean himself off. You feel ecstatic, too languid to make the effort to get clean yourself. When Xavier returns he switches off the lamp and climbs into bed behind you, pulling you close against him and nuzzling his face into the back of your neck. This is the way you both fall asleep.

~

You feel like you’re floating rather than walking as you make your way around your apartment tidying things away. You absentmindedly plan out the rest of your day in your head but it’s easy to become distracted. Last night couldn’t have been more perfect. You blush, remembering. You’ve never felt this way before.

You are about to head into the kitchen to make yourself something to eat when you hear a brisk knock at the front door. At night you don’t answer, but during the day you see no reason to be afraid, besides, on the off chance it is Scott, his plan has failed. He can’t hurt you now.

Or so you think.

You open the door to the smug face of your ex. Before you can stop him, he charges into your apartment.

“Get out!” You shout, not caring who can hear you, you want Scott as far away from you as possible. “I’m calling the police if you don’t leave, now.”

Scott lifts up his hands, his smirk is infuriating.

“Calm down Y/n, I’m not staying. Something occurred to me last night, so I’m here to share it with you. Then I’ll go.”

“What is it?” You decide to bite, hoping that if you play along Scott will leave.

“Well, I realised that I really miss you Y/n. I don’t want to see you with anyone else. I want you back.” Scott’s voice takes on a mocking tone. “I’m going to make you deal. You agree to come back to me, and I won’t tell everyone Xavier’s little secret.”

You stare at Scott, horrified. What the hell has happened to him that he would resort to such a disgusting threat? You know deep down that he would happily destroy Xavier, and it terrifies you. You struggle to respond. Scott doesn’t wait for an answer.

“Tell him the two of you are over Y/n, or his life as he knows it will be.”

You stare at the door after Scott has slammed it shut behind him. Tears roll down your cheeks unchecked. A chill runs through you at the knowledge that you are entirely trapped.

~

“Xavier, it’s me. I’m so sorry I’m leaving a message and not speaking to you in person, but I have to leave town urgently. I got bad news from back home. I won’t... I won’t make it to Redwood. At least I don’t think I will. Anyway, I wish I could have seen you to tell you but like I said, I have to leave. I’m leaving right now so... goodbye. Have a great summer Xavier. I... I’ll miss you.”

~

You watch from the shadows as Xavier, Montana, Chet, and Ray close up the gym. Xavier slings an arm around Montana’s shoulders as they all descend the stairs together, piling into Chet’s car. You make yourself a promise. You will see Xavier again. You will deal with Scott, he will get what’s coming to him. Then you’ll find Xavier and tell him the truth about Scott’s threats and why you had to lie.

Notes: I’m hoping to follow this up with something post-canon but will need to wait and see what happens with the show!

[notdeadjack]

annual reclist 2019

yoo my favourite reads of 2019! 

20 Fandoms represented:

Haikyuu!!: 3 fics Boku no Hero Academia: 17 fics  The Umbrella Academy: 8 fics Resident Evil 6: 3 fics Harry Potter, assorted: 1 fic  Star Trek: 10 fics  Voltron: 8 fics Teen Wolf: 73 fics Marvel, assorted: 25 fics Naruto: 8 fics Star Wars: 4 fics Good Omens: 1 fic Merlin: 5 fics Borderlands: 1 fic Hannibal: 1 fic Avatar The Last Airbender: 1 fic Toy Story: 1 fic  South Park: 1 fic  Buffy the Vampire Slayer: 2 fics  /r/nosleep: 4 fics

total fics recced: 177

(if the cut doesn’t work, i am so sorry)

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Haikyuu!!

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/15429966     big by shouyoto     1k, Hinata/Kageyama, size difference, 

Kageyama is big.

At first, Shouyou thinks it was annoying. At first, it had been a constant reminder, a buzz to his ears on how simply unfair the universe was since he aged a few months older than Kageyama, and yet, somehow- somehow, he's still the one who ends up with the shorter end of the stick. But much like their bond, this impression didn’t last long either.

...

Shouyou finds himself fawning over Kageyama's big build.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/4409042     Girl trouble by PhoenixGFawkes     37k, Hinata/Kageyama, rule 63, they’re lesbians harold, 

Kageyama is annoyed by the boys that approach her to ask her out (she’s not interested), to offer to carry her books for her (she can handle it) or give her flowers (what would she want them for?). Hinata says that she’d like it if a boy once did any of that stuff for her, but she’s a dumbass who doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

When that boy for Hinata shows up, though, Kageyama isn’t annoyed.

She’s furious.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/15005018    Make You Say I Look Good by Esselle    5k, Hinata/Kageyama, crossdressing, 

'Kageyama balances a tray of scones, and little teacups and saucers, and a pretty teapot, as he walks across the room slowly and carefully. His attention is entirely focused upon the very breakable, spillable things he is holding. So much for his innate setter's skills at the task; he moves so slowly that Hinata isn't sure how he's managed to serve anyone since they started. He's sweating profusely, apparently from stress and intense concentration, little beads of perspiration running down the side of his face and arms. His shoulders are too wide and broad for the outfit, the bulk of his muscular arms straining against the ruffled sleeves.

"Oh, no," Hinata says.'

--

In which the volleyball club decides to open up a maid cafe, and Hinata is forced to confront his feelings for a certain setter.

.

.

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Boku no Hero Academia

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17795849     I Can Make You Feel Good by dinosaurspice     4k, Kirishima/Bakugou, 

curious teens experiment 

- the whole series (as of mars at 20k words) is gold really

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/11813826     Two Hour Vacation by ArgetCross    10k, Midoriya/Todoroki, pining, first time, past child abuse, 

“May I join you?” He asked, as if he didn’t expressly text Uraraka and Iida to hunt Midoriya down. Midoriya’s own phone had been off and Todoroki had silenced his own before coming. In a pinch, their friends knew where they were.

Even the life of a hero had to allow them this one night.

--

Or on the day of his father's funeral, Todoroki Shouto loses his virginity.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/13421988     Everything Except by Pouler (poulerslashes)    28k, Midoriya/Todoroki, sex pollen, 

"In retrospect, Midoriya probably should’ve realized the moment they were enveloped in a glittering pink cloud that something was about to go Very Wrong."

After an encounter with a unique villain threatens to change the nature of their partnership, Midoriya must find a way to get things back to normal between him and Todoroki. That is, if he's certain that getting 'back to normal' is what he really wants...

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15272805    your warmth is all i need by drifting_i     17k, Kirishima/Bakugou, AU, dragon!Kirishima, 

This is how it begins. Kirishima is running for his life.

His feet hit the earth hard and fast, he can’t feel it. They're on him now, he can smell them. Four to the left and six to his right. The sides of his arms grow red starting by the elbows. He curses silently. His throat burns.   

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17158511     winter doesn’t linger here by drifting_i     14k, Kirishima/Bakugou, pining, bed sharing, 

“I don’t want you to leave,” Kirishima admits. “I mean, it’s break, man. For the first time in months we don’t have school breathing down our necks so we can finally hang out like we used to and I did miss you!”

“We saw each other last week,” Bakugou says, deflecting.

“Still.” Kirishima smiles sheepishly.  

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17531774    had to be (you) by bigstupidjellyfish     11k, Kirishima/Bakugou, light bondage, kink exploration, 

do you ever just discover you have a kink in the least appropriate situation  

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/14331180    'Cause the Dark's Not Taking Prisoners Tonight by imatrisarahtops    52k, Kirishima/Bakugou, emotional h/c, bed sharing, mutual pining, slow burn,  

“Are those soba noodles?” Kirishima asked.

Again Bakugou’s only reply was a grunt. He offered no further explanation—not that Kirishima honestly expected one—as though making soba noodles from scratch at half past four in the morning wasn’t at all a bizarre occurrence and made complete and total sense. For a fleeting moment, Kirishima even wondered if maybe he was the odd one here. Besides, he’d already decided it was generally not in his best interest to question these types of things with Bakugou, especially when it was something essentially harmless.

-

When Kirishima has a nightmare and is unable to fall back asleep, he accepts defeat and decides to study in the common area of the dorms. What he doesn't expect to find is Bakugou, also very much awake, and Kirishima can't help but think that maybe they're both having the same problems with sleeping. If he's worried, it's just because they're friends. (Right?)

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/12794481    the easy parts by chonideno    11k, Kirishima/Bakugou, h/c, scars, 

Kirishima made it out alive but his body is covered in wounds that won't heal without leaving marks behind. He hides them away from the sight of others, away from his own, and he hates every part of it. Bakugou watches him reduce his own character to a parody of what it used to be, and he can't stand it.

Or how Bakugou and Kirishima learn to deal with these scars, with themselves, with each other.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/14947955    Glow by argentconflagration    1k, Kirishima/Bakugou, pining, bed sharing, 

Kirishima is warm and somehow far softer than a person with that much muscle definition has any right to be. His breath is tickling Katsuki’s hair, which should be uncomfortable but isn’t, and Katsuki can smell his hair gel, which is cloying and chemical but too familiar to be irritating. Katsuki sighs softly as his body continues to relax. His eyelids droop. Before long he’ll be slipping off into the throes of sleep.

Kirishima reaches forward and takes his hand, and his stomach flips. He immediately forces himself to relax, though. If it meant something like that to Kirishima, he wouldn’t be doing it, would he?

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17338961    sunchaser by chonideno    35k, Kirishima/Bakugou, pining, bed sharing, 

that feeling when you suddenly want to jump off a cliff for no reason but instead of a cliff it’s your best friend and instead of jumping it’s growing feelings out of nowhere

or how Bakugou has to try really hard not to throw everything to the wind, and Kirishima doesn't help

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17569586    Already Everything by roxashighwind    16k, Kirishima/Bakugou, body swap, deaf!Bakugou, 

He feels drunk and hungover at the same time, feels like he’s about an inch to the left of where he actually is and dizzy to boot. He tries to sit up and is filled with instant regret. He groans, and he can’t hear it though he feels the vibration of the sound in his chest and throat. He can’t hear anything. Why can’t he hear anything?

- Eijiro wakes up, but he's not himself.

A villain's body swapping quirk leads to admissions between friends, which leads to something more.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/12676416    This Changes Nothing by vulcanhighblood    68k, Kirishima/Bakugou, a/b/o, slow burn, 

First heats, even ones triggered by a classmate's "prank" gone awry, aren't supposed to take your quirk away. Then again, omegas aren't supposed to be in hero training, either.

Katsuki does enjoy defying expectations, just... not like this.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17284061    dusk and dawn by bigstupidjellyfish   13k, Kirishima/Bakugou, sex pollen, biting, friends to lovers, 

sex pollen, again, yea    

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17094788     Against All Odds, Thriving by jettiebettie    12k, Kirishima/Bakugou, pining, 

“The naked adoration! The loving caress! Lively colors accenting warm eyes and an endearing smile!”

“... I'm gonna go take a nap.” Bakugo is halfway out of his chair when Shiozaki turns the screen and he stops dead in his tracks.

Kirishima's face stares back at him with a look that nearly knocks the air out of his lungs. The expression he's giving the camera is tender, his pretty eyes full of fondness and framed by loose red bangs, with a small amused smile on his lips. The hand Bakugo used to manhandle his head into position has no right looking that gentle; his hands were never meant for gentleness to begin with, but to see his holding Kirishima's cheek like that... To see the way Kirishima is looking at him-

Bakugo slams the laptop shut. - Class A and Class B must complete a joint art assignment, and it honestly may be too much for Bakugo. 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/16261352    you can get what you want or you can just get old by hyperlight    55k, Kirishima/Bakugou, 13 going on 30, angst, suicide attempt, minor character death, happy ending, 

Bakugou gets a preview of what his future might be and doesn't like what he sees. 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/11845740    Electrification of the Soul by cighail    8k, Sero/Kaminari, pining, 

So if he is a simple kid, then he will live by simple rules:

Make friends, make enemies; tease and be teased. Slip comedy into your words that garner the slightest bit of attention. Give and receive praise, criticism, advice, so long as it strays not too far from the norm. Become uniquely un-unique.

And ah- “Hanta, my dude, you’ve gotta check her out.”

Fall in love.

(In which Hanta is not as chill as he makes out to be)

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/14446512    Hero Class Civil Warfare by RogueDruid (Icarius51)    85k, gen, plotty plots, 

Heroes lead by Bakugo. Villains lead by Midoriya. Seven days prep time. Three days for Izuku Midoriya to show why they should be glad he's not a real villain.

.

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The Umbrella Academy 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17890052    Partners, Parents, or None of the Above by DarkFairytale    7k, gen, brotherly bonding, protectiveness, past drug abuse, 

Kenny's mom assuming that Diego and Klaus were A) a couple and B) Number 5's parents was both bemusing and amusing at the time. But that was because it was the only time it had ever happened. Now though? Now they just can't understand why these misunderstandings keep happening. 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17846012    Let Him Cry by Achrya    3k, Ben/Klaus, incest, first time, tentacles, drugs, 

“Ben is crying again.”

“Yeah well. Dad says it's just growing pains.” -- Klaus decides to help his brother out.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17962079    the devil's jaws are far too weak by ictus     1k, Ben/Klaus, incest, drug withdrawal, h/c, 

Truthfully, it’s far from the strangest thing Ben’s ever done. When you grow up in a family as sick and twisted as the Hargreeves’, jerking off your brother in a motel closet while you’re waiting for hired guns to come back and finish the job is barely a blip on the radar, even if he is technically dead and Klaus shouldn’t be able to feel him at all. 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17932085    Can Someone Tell Me (If It's Wrong) by merle_p    2k, Klaus/Ben/Diego, incest, emotional h/c, canon time travel, 

"Your favorite,” he adds, unnecessarily but correctly, because leave it to Klaus of all people to know what kind of candy he prefers. He is pretty sure not even Eudora ever had any clue just how much he liked the taste of the rainbow.   

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/18005399    Six of Cups, Four of Swords by prodigy    9k, Ben/Klaus, incest, drugs, addiciton, withdrawal, prostitution, 

Ben Hargreeves tries to keep his brother--and himself--on the devastating road to getting well. It doesn't go in a straight line. 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17860256    i scream, you scream by kyrilu    2k, vauge Ben/Klaus, introspection, 

One of Ben’s favorite childhood memories is eating ice cream with his family after they’d saved Paris from the rampaging Eiffel Tower.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17836067    Family Affairs by manic_intent    58k, Klaus/Ben/Diego, incest, time travel, post-canon, 

“This isn’t going to work,” Diego said, once everyone had stopped moaning on the grass and/or throwing up.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/18307292    the year that wasn't by achilleees   21k, Diego/Klaus, time loop, incest, 

Diego turned to Five. “I’ve already, uh, lived today. This has already happened.”

Everyone went still.

“Ooh, that’s a mind-fuck,” said Klaus.

.

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Resident Evil 6

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/2367419    hold on (we're going home) by viii    8k, Piers/Chris, 

no summary given, first paragraph:  

It's raining in Vancouver on the last day of November. Piers has been gone for six weeks. It hasn't been the longest he's been gone, but it hasn't been the shortest either. He doesn't know how he's going to find Chris when he pulls out the rusty key that he doesn't use as often as he should and unlocks the door to Chris's apartment.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/6774688    Crossed Out by deansparkles    47k, Piers/Chris, time-travel (kind of), pining, 

Piers Nivans is ready to die. That doesn't mean the universe has to agree with him.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/1031021    You, Me, and the Monster by AkumaStrife    5k, Piers/Chris, h/c, 

They pull Piers out of the ocean and patch him up as best they can, but some things will never be the same. Chris can't forgive himself and Piers doesn't trust himself, and between them is a chasm of things unspoken.

[Alternatively: Hospital Recovery fic in which Piers has to learn to live with the thing he's become.]

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Harry Potter

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/5025334    chalk this one up as a win by tamerofdarkstars     6k, Marcus Flint/Oliver Wood, soulmates, fluff, 

Oliver Wood wakes up in the Hospital Wing a week after his first Quidditch game ever with a head injury and his soulmate's thoughts wound around his left wrist.

Frankly, he's more concerned about missing the Quidditch game.

.

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Star Trek 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/856754    The Mark by thecadenceofherlastbreath    4k, Chekov/McCoy, soulmates, 

Prompt: AU where everything is the same, except everyone is born with a insignia, a mark that is unique to only two people in the world, that tells them who their soulmate is. Usually the two people are born on the same day, at the same time, but that doesn’t mean that aren’t circumstances where an age difference has happened.

Leonard McCoy was born without an insignia, only for one to appear on his 20th birthday. He always hated the idea that the one person he was supposed to be with being a child, and maybe that was why he married his high school sweetheart. And maybe, that was the fact their relationship fell apart six years later, and he made the choice to join Starfleet.

He had never really forgotten about his supposed soulmate, but it certainly wasn’t expected to be confronted with the seventeen year old Russian genius whose insignia, his insignia, their insignia, plastered so obviously on his neck…

I tweaked it just a little, but it's essentially that. Hope I didn't butcher the idea!

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/11468154    Now the Sons Look For Their Fathers/ But Their Fathers Are All Gone by Straight_Outta_Hobbiton    30k, gen, kid fic,

Leonard is exhausted, and there is a crying kid in front of him with a bowl-cut and pointed ears.

Of course he picks him up.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/1058476    infixion by Etharei    37k, Kirk/Spock, kidnapping, 

A mission of this duration has never been attempted. Just a few months in, the crew of the Enterprise are beginning to understand why – luckily, they are also, somehow, making it work. A series of events, both great and small; featuring cameos by unsuspecting planets, complicated interpersonal relationships, off-record shenanigans, and a surprising number of hostile life-forms.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/15327285    Thy Soul, Alight In The Dark by Aerlalaith    51k, Kirk/Spock, AU, horror, mind control, possession, accidental bonding, 

When disgraced former Starfleet captain and current salvage runner James T. Kirk stumbles upon an abandoned Vulcan research vessel on the edge of Federation Space, he thinks he’s finally found some luck. The state of the ship and the fate of her original crew however, turn what was supposed to have been a standard day’s work into something quite a bit stranger. As Kirk and his crew debate if they can—or should—wake a sleeping survivor, it soon becomes clear that the nightmare is just beginning.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17246120    If Symptoms Persist by billiethepoet    7k, Kirk/Spock, pon farr, 

The aftereffects of pon farr do not go away as quickly as Spock would like everyone to believe. Jim can tell and he's ready and willing to help.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/14913942    Mind Readers, Man! by dothedeux    12k, Kirk/Spock, Spock&Bones, 

After Spock is injured on a mission, he forms a mental link with Bones in order to survive. Afterwards, both men decide the link can come in handy at work, and that they should keep it in place. But as their friendship grows stronger, Jim struggles with his new feelings. It's basically a soap opera in space.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/996674    what legends are made of by Rosslyn    33k, Kirk/Spock, suspense, adventure, 

On a routine mission to a normal-looking planet, Kirk and Spock discover a strange cave. Seven handprints were carved into the wall — each moulded to a member of the senior bridge crew of the Enterprise. In order to investigate this anomaly, the entire crew beam down to the planet, and falls into a nightmare. -

Post-Mission Reviews attached under Enterprise Report 5-2261-7a:

"Is this a mission report, or the script of your blockbuster-wannabe holovid show, Kirk?" - Admiral Bennett "Suggestions to update Starfleet Official Course Material on relevant subjects, Captain" - First Officer Spock "Definitely too old for this shit" - Chief Medical Officer McCoy "I'm never beaming down without a bottle of Scotch again, mark my words" - Chief Engineer Scott "It was fun up until it happened to me" - Helmsman Sulu "Vodka cake deserved by all" - Navigator Chekov "Captain, should I put in a footnote explaining the farm animal reference?" - Communications Officer Uhura "That's it, privilege for PMRs closed. Kirk Out." - Captain Kirk

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/11135340     out of obscurity into the dream by spectralPhobia    87k, Kirk/Spock, AU, adventure, 

Started as a Tangled AU fusion with Star Trek 2009, developed into its own thing. Spock has lived an entire life in seclusion, brought up by a Romulan to believe he was one too. Convinced his telepathy was a rare gift that must be protected at all costs, he was prohibited to touch anyone and leave the house. Jim Kirk comes across him accidentally after he was hired to steal a Vulcan artefact. Together, they start an adventure of finding a soulmate in each other and preventing another catastrophe from happening after the artefact turns out to be a part of an ancient psionic weapon.

Also known as “How I almost died three times in two days and found my soulmate”, an autobiography by J.T. Kirk.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/1077361    a sequence that you never learned by annataylor    64k, Kirk/Spock, kid fic, fake marriage, 

"'Spock,' Jim breathes out, completely overwhelmed by the gesture—not quite believing that Spock knows him so well, that's he's already started researching, that he trusts Jim with a member of his own endangered species."

When Jim gets it in his head to adopt an eight year old Vulcan, Spock presents a logical solution to the issue of Jim's humanity: marriage to a Vulcan citizen.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/208971    Of Twin Stars and Other Eccentric Satellites by winterhill    30k, Kirk/Spock, 

A year into the mission, Spock and Jim have got on with things and are well on their way to that great destined friendship -- or maybe more. There’s spanner in the works, though, when a group of colonists exploring an unknown part of New Vulcan go missing, and the Enterprise crew is called in to help. The problem? The Vulcan High Council has insisted they take a guide — Spock’s wife, T’Pring.  

.

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Voltron 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/14873321     Our Future Hearts by mizufallsfromkumo    4k, Lance/Shiro, time travel, established relationship, emotional h/c, 

“You know, you could warn a guy, if you’re going to drop out of nowhere.” The man said dramatically as he pulled his hand away.

It caused Shiro to look up from the note, in surprise, his brows pulling together. Because that wasn’t how it worked. There is nothing he can do in warning, he never knows where he’s going, and when he’ll end up.

“Not you you,” The man huffed with a roll of his blue eyes. Almost like he knew what Shiro was going to say. He gestured at Shiro lazily, before he grinned. “But, you know, older you can warn me. Scared me half to death, face planting in the grass like you did.”

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/16114160    Milkshakes by General_Button    6k, Lance/Shiro, male lactation, 

In order to ensure a fruitful alliance with a species of animal-like aliens called the Ankarine, Shiro takes one for the team and consumes a traditional dish that ends up having unforeseen consequences.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/12593748    i need my monster by mettaverse    4k, Lance/Shiro, AU, injury, monster!Lance, h/c, 

“Are you okay?” asks a voice from under his bed.

Shiro stiffens. He holds his breath. Maybe it's the drugs-

“Hey,” says the voice. Then, a flicker in the peripherals of his vision is a- tail? Long and skinny, like it's out of an honest to god comic book, of all things. Like a devil's.“Are you okay?”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11343876    Hell and High Water by StarrBomb     39k, Lance/Shiro, AU, mermaids, 

All his life, he's known these three things.

The darkness.

Loneliness.

And fear.

But he soon comes to understand a much more different and harsher meaning behind these things. And somehow, he ends up finding something he never knew he needed.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/11019165    Twelve Nights by WildWolf25    19k, Shiro/Pidge, AU, trans character, She’s The Man au

“Matt, I think I can safely say that this is the dumbest idea you’ve ever come up with, including the time you thought you could put marshmallows in your hot chocolate before microwaving it and it exploded.” Katie said flatly.

“Come on, Katie, please?” Matt clasped his hands together in front of him. “I will pay you in jars of peanut butter. A lifetime supply of cookies. A trophy that says ‘best sibling in the world’. Whatever you want.”

“It’s not going to work, Matt.” Katie sighed. “Everyone’s going to know I’m not you.”

“But that’s the thing, I don’t know anyone at that school yet.” Matt said. “No one knows me, so no one will know that you’re not me.”

(Matt needs everyone to think he's at school for a couple of weeks and convinces Katie to disguise herself as him, leading to an awkward crush on his roommate, Shiro, a very ambitious astronomy class competition, new friends, and maybe some bruised hearts if the truth gets out)

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/12102285    Kafka's Revenge by Bellybits    21k, Keith/Lance, xenobiology, mild body horror, trans character, 

Keith's been worried about what his Galra genes meant for him for a while. He's been expecting some horrific transmutation, to turn into some kind of monster despite the comforts of his peers.

But he wasn't a monster, and it isn't a catastrophic change. It was slow and gradual in the way most metamorphoses were.

He had thought that going through two puberties was bad- and now he was having a third one. Great.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17183669    Starbound by fenfyre (Jace)    3k, Lance/Shiro, pining, 

Lance expected nothing more but good company when Shiro showed up on the farm one day but old and new feelings soon catch up to them.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/16873671    Good Luck Kiss by OverMyFreckledBody    1k, Lance/Shiro, accidental kissing, 

An accidental kiss leads to more... not so accidental ones.

.

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Teen Wolf

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/862347    Just Been Born by idyll    3k, gen, gender swap, trans!Derek, 

“The mage's spell seems to have changed your sex.”

Derek inhales raggedly, then slowly looks down at his chest—at his breasts.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4012684     Cross a Canyon (with a broken limb) by theroguesgambit    18k, Stiles/Derek, fake relationship, pining, 

“You never graduated,” Stiles says, just to say it. To test it out in the open air. That's... huh.

--

Stiles spends his senior year battling troll-gremlins, taking on an unexpected tutoring job, and definitely not falling for a certain sourwolf (even though everyone else seems to think he is).

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/1828693    Pinch Me by Wolftraps (AlwaysBoth)    12k, Stiles/Derek(/Nogitsune), angst, possession, and then not, disassociation, identity issues, 

It doesn't work. When the nogitsune crumbles to ash, he's weakened, but he's right back in Stiles head with his damn riddles. And Stiles feels like he's not just losing control, but also losing himself.

But no one can lose their shadow.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/2118756    (Rode Hard) Put Away Wet by calrissian18    3k, Stiles/Derek, scent marking, 

As it turns out, the etiquette for joining a werewolf pack is a little bit more involved than saying, "Whatever, fine, I'm in." There's, like, stupid werewolf rules. Because someone put stupid werewolves in charge.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/577223    Highly Inappropriate by asocialfauxpas (fuzzytomato)    5k, Stiles/Derek, h/c, frottage, 

Derek was drugged and literally covered in blood and Stiles was about to crumple under the weight of guilt that came with being an impulsive idiot, but for some reason his dick wasn’t getting the message that this was by no means a sexy situation.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/644558     Flying Changes by otter     10k, Stiles/Derek, AU, horsies, 

Derek's a dressage rider with a reputation for frowning and making people cry. Stiles is an acrobatic stunt rider whose resume includes medieval-themed dinner shows and the actual circus. Derek's an Olympian, he doesn't need this shit. 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/614271    Dog Days by flaming_muse     15k, Stiles/Derek, wolf!Derek, 

Stiles has always wanted a dog, so he should be happy when he finds himself suddenly in possession of one, right? Unfortunately, it’s more complicated than that. Or, the one where Derek is turned into a puppy.

pre-slash set after season 2, no spoilers for season 3

warnings for humor, all of season two, repercussions of canonical deaths, brief panic attacks, lots of adverbs, and Stiles hitting his head a few times

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/586648     Bingo by betp    23k, Stiles/Derek, sex pollen, 

Derek scowls.

Or, the one that was supposed to be every item on the Sterek bingo chart and ended up being a Derek manpain feels jamboree.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/798827    Switching Goals by betp    3k Stiles/Derek, rule 63, established relationship, 

“You’re kind of cute,” Lydia says, changing the subject, “in a sort of… lost baby squirrel in a pixie cut sort of way.”

“Great,” he says, fumbling ineptly with the clasp on the bra. “Th… thanks, Lydia, that’s… quite the endorsement. I’m vermin.”

Lydia and Erica peaceably watch him fuck around with the hooks for a full five minutes, this look on their faces like justice is finally being delivered. Stiles refuses to lose his temper with the thing in front of them, so he just doggedly keeps at it. Eventually, Lydia says, “We might have to invest in a frontal clasp for you.”

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/665066     let me in lover, be kind by orphan_account    3k, Stiles/Derek, emotional smut, 

It's a cosmic balancing act.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17591744     (this isn’t exactly) where you’d want me by decideophobia    19k, Stiles/Derek, AU, pining, doctor!Derek, snark, 

“Do you even have any nice and soothing words in your repertoire?” Stiles asks, holding still while McBroody shines a light into his eyes. “Or is it only me who they let you loose on?”

“I actually just downloaded a new set of comforting phrases to use on patients this morning but I haven’t had a chance to listen to and internalize them yet. I do know how to say, Good news: you’re not dead, and We only need to take off one of your legs, though.”

OR, the one where Stiles keeps ending up in the ER and Derek almost gets brain damage from so much stupid.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/13001157    Detect by twilight_shades    9k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, 

Derek is a fake psychic (that’s an accident). Stiles goes to work for him (that’s deliberate). Stiles is pretty good at figuring things out (that’s alarming). Derek is pretty slow at figuring himself out (that’s unsurprising).

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/946982    The Newlywed Game by Captain_Loki    19k, Stiles/Derek, fake dating, UST, 

Stiles is (still) single when the pack's getaway to the Caribbean comes by (oh misplaced optimism); lucky for him Derek is committed to being uncommitted and even after all these years is still powerless against Stiles' unique forms of persuasion.

Cue a romantic getaway for two: sun, sand, and sarcasm abound...and the two roped into competing in the Resort's version of the Newlywed game. Only it's completely obvious it's going to end in disaster. Probably homicide.

Most probably homicide.

Plot twist: It doesn't.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/581046     things that fly, but cannot land by growlery writes (growlery)    12k, Lydia/Stiles/Allison, AU, poly, 

If Allison has to explain to one more person that she is not dating her ex-boyfriend’s best friend (and really, she broke up with Scott so long ago that the ‘ex-boyfriend’ part has mostly dropped off that title) she is going to explode. Especially now that Stiles has a girlfriend of his own, a girlfriend Allison is definitely not attracted to. Or jealous of. Danny has no idea what he’s talking about, except for the fact that he actually kind of does.

(or, the one where Allison writes about werewolves, Stiles is her roommate and everyone is in love with Lydia.)

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/16485551     With Eyes, and Hands to Touch by red_crate    37k, Stiles/Derek, AU, teenage!Derek, accidental voyeurism, 

The summer before high school starts, and all Stiles wants to do is hang out with Scott and work on his plan to win over Lydia.

But then Scott's brother, Derek, becomes an accidental distraction.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/16177544    Dangerous Curves & Divine Moves by TaraSoleil    30k, Stiles/Derek, rule 63, 

When Stiles wakes up as a girl, there's only one thing he can think to blame: the nogitsune. And that bastard didn't leave any instructions on how to turn him back to normal. Now Stiles is the only one freaking out, and Derek is being weird(er).

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17195975    Stupid Say What? by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)    8k, Stile/Derek, accidental relationship, 

Stiles shoved another bite into his mouth, glancing over at Boyd and Erica. Boyd was smiling down into his eggs benedict and Erica was grinning at Stiles.

He frowned in confusion, his chewing slowing. Tucking the food into one cheek, he asked, “What?”

“Nothing. It’s just nice. I like when the four of us come out together. Our little double dates,” she teased, stabbing her fork into a strawberry and putting it between her lips.

Stiles snorted at her comment, since this wasn’t a double date—he wished—but didn’t comment on it because he liked their outings, too. Even if he whined incessantly about it until he got there, it was always a good time.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/16813009    Words Cannot Espresso How Much You Bean to Me by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)    68k, Stiles/Derek, AU, mates, puns,

“You’re late,” Derek informed him coldly, jaw clenched. He barely even moved his mouth to speak. This guy was seriously scary.

And because Stiles was suicidal, he said, “No, I’m Stiles.”

The look he got could’ve curdled milk. Stiles even noticed that Derek’s muscles were tensing, arms bulging even more and wowthis guy was scary and hot but mostly scary holy shit.

“You’re not funny,” Derek informed him coldly.

Stiles shrugged. “I think that’s a matter of opinion.”

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17785586    Strike Me A Match by clotpolesonly    11k, Stiles/Derek, superhero!Stiles, pining, soulmates, 

Derek stared at the reporter on the campus lounge’s television screen, gleefully reporting on Ignition’s latest fight. Behind her floated a photograph of him mid-battle, zoomed in on where his bodysuit had been slashed open across his left shoulder blade. It was a little blurry, a little pixelated, but more than clear enough to get a good look at the black mark on the bare skin there.

“Oh shit,” came Erica’s delighted voice as she dropped down onto the couch beside Derek. “Let the circus begin!”

Derek’s his heart dropped; circus was right. He resisted the impulse to reach for the spot on his own shoulder blade that itched and burned. It wouldn’t do him any good. He could make all the calls, send in all the verifiably undoctored photos of identical marks, make all the noise and fuss he wanted. With the buzz and the confusion, it wouldn’t matter. No one would believe him.

True match-ups never made it through a circus like this.

--

In which Derek discovers his soulmate is a superhero too far out of his reach to ever actually be with. But it doesn't feel right to flirt back at Stiles now either, no matter how much Derek wants to. Amazing or not, he's not Derek's soulmate.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18650299    What Fresh Twilight Bullshit Is This? by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)   196k, Stiles/Derek, soulmates, pining, 

“I am not Bella!” he insisted, shaking his fist angrily at Jackson, as if he’d been the one to suggest he was. “I am not Bella! I am, like, a Jacob, at least!”

Lydia made a noise of debate from his right and he whipped around to look at her.

“What?! What was that sound?!”

“You’re more of a Mike,” she insisted, shrugging neatly and flipping some curls over her shoulder.

“Wha—” Stiles had never been so offended in his life! “I am not! No way! I am a solid Jacob!”

“Mike,” she argued.

“Who’s Mike?” Scott asked.

“Shut up, Scott!” Stiles insisted, pointing a finger at him but still glaring at Lydia.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19008223     tasting heartbeats in skin tears by OverMyFreckledBody    5k, Stiles/Derek, 5+1, ust, licking, untimely boners, 

After a battle resulting in Stiles getting a cut on his face, he discovers that the werewolf healing can be transferred through the saliva. After that, he seems to be a magnet for getting hurt - more so than usual.

Derek is surprisingly helpful about it all. Now, only if Stiles could get through their licking sessions without embarrassing himself.

[Or, 5 Times Derek Healed Stiles with his Magic Werewolf Spit + the 1 Time He Left a Mark of his Own.]

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17936444     Care for Me, As I've Never Known by lavenderlotion    2k, pre-Peter/Stiles, 

“Why...why did you offer me the bite?” Stiles asked quietly, the cover of night and the hum of the Jeep’s engine giving him courage he wouldn’t usually have.

Peter hummed thoughtfully, taking a turn smoothly. “That is quite the question you’re asking. I’m not sure the answer is one you would be happy to hear.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9318200      Help Wanted (But Not Really) by reillyblack     26k, Stiles/Derek, AU, 

"Stiles, I'll clear up your confusion about the position. Derek here needs someone to live with him. He's a difficult person to live with, so I won't sugarcoat that. But his responsibilities at the company right now make it impossible for him to actually take care of himself and his home. That would be your job," Laura explained.

Both Stiles and Derek objected at the same time.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16555949     Child King by ShanaStoryteller    66k, light Stiles/Derek, AU, 

Stiles is born with red eyes.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17049731    No Mercy by Gia279    64k, Stiles/Derek, AU, 

The story of the Boy King was this: when he was sixteen, the Stilinski kingdom was at war with the Novak kingdom. King John was on the front lines with his soldiers when his teenage heir came to check in with him. The king was struck down in a nighttime attack, in front of the boy. The boy took up the king’s dropped sword, mounted his war steed, and slaughtered the enemy forces.

When the remaining soldiers surrendered, he cut them down with his father’s sword and returned home a boy king with a bloodstained reputation.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16919445     Let It Burn Fast by RurouniHime    32k, Stiles/Derek, sex magic, pining, 

“So.” Stiles rubs his thighs, snaps his fingers again restlessly and looks around. “Thoughts? Comments? Revisions you’d like to submit for consideration?”

Derek weighs it. “Stiles, are you asking me to have sex with you for the good of the pack?”

“I—yeah.” Stiles blinks a couple times, then smiles again. “Yeah, I guess I am. That is the thing that I am doing.”

(or, the one where Stiles proposes no-strings-attached sex for Magical Reasons and Derek somewhat unwisely agrees.)

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18850138     Love Story by skoosiepants    3k, Stiles/Derek, 

"Huh." Derek looks less concerned than Stiles thinks this situation warrants, but his hands wander up to cup his face and his mouth opens up over his again and all the bones in Stiles's legs melt, so he has to, like, prop himself up against Derek's entire front.

Derek says, "Okay?" when he pulls back slightly and Stiles manages an eloquent, "Buh."

Or –

A spell made them do it. Sure, Stiles. That works.  

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17757842     Open Your Eyes, Don't Walk Blind by Ragga    14k, Derek/Stiles/Peter, pining, Sheriff & Cora brotp

The Sheriff of Beacon Hills could be called many things but willingly blind was not one of them. When the supernatural world was shoved before his eyes and he found his son right in the middle of it, there was no other choice for him but to follow in Stiles' footsteps. And he did, willingly; there was nothing in the world he wouldn't do for him.

He just wasn't expecting to find out the things he did while learning how to swim in the deep.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14869391     Once Upon a Dream by Ragga    19k, Peter/Stiles, dream walking, h/c, 

It was like the door was on fire.

Stiles stood there, staring. As the realization sunk in, he slowly reached for the doorknob. He grabbed it. It burned, as if blazing hot and freezing cold at the same time. He was stuck, fascinated, and then the door clicked-

-and he was blasted with rage and grief so powerful the next thing he saw was the ceiling of his room.

Who was that?

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19223467    There’s No Escape for the Potato Man by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)    53k, Stiles/Derek, AU, texting, 

“Who is this? Where’s Erica?”

“Wrong number, asshole!”

“Stop calling me an asshole,” the man on the other end snapped aggressively.

Stiles could understand. He’d be pretty aggressive too if he’d murdered someone and texted a wrong number to ask for help burying the body. This guy obviously failed How To Be a Serial Killer 101.

“What kind of idiot thinks I murdered someone?”

“The kind of idiot who got your text messages, you fucking dumbass!” he retorted hotly. “Maybe double check your contacts before sending a random stranger details on your nefarious plans to dispose of a freshly cut up body!”

“What?!” the guy on the other end demanded, crossed between horrendously confused and livid.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12849630    like black moonrise (his voice fell still) by OverMyFreckledBody    1k, Stiles/Derek, UST, oral kink, 

"Shut up," Derek rumbles, close, dangerously close.

"Or I'll make you."

-- He does.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12510356    kisses unclean like the words you say by Omorika (Zercalo)    19k, Stiles/Derek, psuedo-incest, 

There are less torturous things than to live under the same roof with Derek Hale (and his entire family) - it's just that Stiles can't think of any right now. 

.   https://archiveofourown.org/works/14682198    You’re an Understatement (you’re getting worse) by LadySlytherin     13k, Stiles/Derek, AU, neckz’n’throats, 

Erica’s goal in life was to be hired by Neckz’n’Throats. Not as a model, though she knew she was hot enough for that. No, she wanted to be behind the camera. And to do that, she needed two things. A glowing recommendation, and a portfolio that would grab their attention; that would make them take her seriously. For that, she needed the right models. Thankfully, she knew just who to ask. 

.  

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2124261     I’ll take hold of you by Lessandra    30k, Stiles/Derek, AU, touch kink, 

If Stiles could boil his life down to one moment, it would be this: his hand in Derek’s hand, radiating warmth as they sit together—on the edge of the forest, in Stiles’s living room, on the terrace of Derek’s house, wherever—and wait for the morning to come. 

.  

https://archiveofourown.org/works/998921    Stiles, why is Derek Hale passed out on our front porch? by marguerite_26, mothlights     4k, Stiles/Derek, bonding, h/c, 

Stiles doesn't hear the knock on his front door, but he figures there must have been one, because now his dad's calling out to him,

"Stiles, do you know why Derek Hale just passed out on our front porch?"

Stiles freezes, carton of milk half way to his mouth. He looks around the empty room, wondering if it has any answers. Derek Hale just passed out on his front porch -- sounds like one of the signs of the coming apocalypse.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17216009    Risky Business by skoosiepants     14k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, 

Stiles stumbles back when Derek takes a step toward him, but still says, "Tell me, did you offer Isaac, Erica and Boyd 'the bite,' too?" He's not proud of the air quotes he uses, but it's too late to rethink them now—Derek lunges at him with a growl and Stiles trips over his own feet and falls on his ass on the rocky ground. "What the fuck, Derek?"

"You don't know what you're talking about," Derek says. He crouches over Stiles, insanely thick thighs bracketing Stiles's raised knees. His eyes flash red.

Stiles sucks in a breath, heart beating high and terrified in his throat. He barely has enough breath to rasp, "What the fuck?" again.

There's a growl low in Derek's chest. He says, "You can tell Scott that if he shows up with you, the deal's off."

or -

An AU where Scott was never bit by Peter Hale, Derek actually manages to be a good alpha, and Stiles gets kidnapped a lot.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11268102    Blackbird by skoosiepants    25k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, 

Stiles groans and drops his face into his hands. “I’m seventeen, I can kind of use mountain ash and I can explode houses when I’m mad enough. How am I gonna win any kind of magic fight?”

“We’ll work on it,” Deaton says, as infuriatingly calm as ever. “The important thing to remember, Stiles, is that when everything else is chaos, you’re the port in the storm.”

Or-

Laura Hale never died, and Stiles is magic.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/series/34660     Tell me what Pack Means series by afullrevolution     22k, Stiles/Derek, AU, space, cuddling, 

Fourteen days into a two year mission, Stiles finds out that his companion for the voyage is a werewolf. Stiles wants to know what it means.    

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5822248    Tell me Where it Hurts by Gia279    45k, Stiles/Derek, AU, wolf!Derek, curses, 

Stiles learns to do magick and Derek is cursed to walk the woods on four legs and keep his silence. 

.  

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17415641    Under the Wolf Moon (Formerly Erase/Rewind) by Pdxtrent    102k, Siles/Derek, canon-AU, fix-it, slow build, 

Laura Hale has disappeared. But from there, things go very very differently. Expect adults acting like adults, and actual communication and not terrible decision making.

************************************

He packed a bag as quickly as he could and grabbed his passport just in case. He looked around the apartment, glanced at his sister’s closed bedroom door and then walked out.

An hour later he was at the airport.

Two hours after that he was in the air.

Seven hours after that he was touching down in San Francisco.

Another hour and he was getting into the rental car that would take him to literally the last place on earth he ever wanted to return: Beacon Hills, California.

Four hours later he stopped in Redding for food and gas. He hated Redding. He hated California. He hated every hour that took him closer to Beacon Hills and to the memories he couldn’t escape. He knew that, most of all, he hated himself. Death and disaster followed him like a shadow. First it was Paige, then his family, and now Laura was missing.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3387539    I'll be right back (in 24 years) by AnaIsFangirling (Ana_K_Lee)    48k, Stiles/Derek, time travel, de-aged!Derek, slow build, fix-it, 

When Derek thought about time travel – and he did, a lot – this was not what he'd had in mind. He'd thought he would see his younger self, tell him to leave Paige alone and NEVER trust Kate Argent. He'd thought he’d get to come back once that was done and everything would be perfect. He never imagined having to relive his entire life.

comment: can i just.. highlight that “entire life”, is entirely literal and i am LIVING for it.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/579880    Derek Hale's Seduction Techniques by omelet    6k, Stiles/Derek, pining, 

It doesn't sit well with Stiles, the thing at the police station and with Erica. It niggles at him from the back of his mind, screaming PAY ATTENTION TO ME. Because Derek's apparently familiar enough with flirting to do it successfully, like it's something that comes naturally to him, but what kind of broody misanthropic guy flirts?

.

https://archiveofourown.org/series/32393    Most Important Meal of the Day series by peroxidepest17     11k, Stiles/Derek, 

The one where Derek is like a box of Kix (or something).

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1045495    Unbroken by Piscaria    43k, Stiles/Derek, cancer, werewolf!Stiles, made them do it, bloodplay, mating bond, 

When Stiles starts getting sick, he assumes his appetite loss and lethargy stem from the darkness the Nemeton left in his heart. But soon enough, even he can’t deny that he’s showing the same symptoms his mom had. When he's forced to face the truth about his illness, Stiles finds himself making a choice he never thought he’d make.    

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13119609    Start Small, Like Oak Trees by SmallBirds    24k, Stiles/Derek, the sheriff is amazing, 

The months following Allison's death have passed Stiles by in a haze of monotony. He sleepwalks through days that seem to lose their color, an unwilling passenger in a body he no longer trusts. Eventually, he thinks, he'll just fade away. He isn't sure anyone would notice. Then, during a spur of the moment grocery run, he stumbles upon Derek Hale attempting to console a lost child, and for the first time in recent memory the world doesn't seem so awful. He's not sure what he'd been expecting when he eventually convinces Derek to move into the Stilinski's spare bedroom, but a newfound passion for weeding and topsoil certainly isn't it.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11748945    Scrubbing Bubbles by MargaretKire    46k, Stiles/Derek, AU, scent kink, 

Stiles thought it would be easy doing janitorial work for an office. At first, it really was. The job only took a few hours in the evenings and it helped pay for rent and college. Sure, Hale Industries took up an entire floor in one of the downtown financial buildings, but the place was new and easy to care for. He didn’t even have to spend much time cleaning the huge corner office, because the trash was nearly always empty and the office itself was spotless, like no one used it.

It was basically the perfect college job. At least, until the boss started staying late.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4273428    Into The Open Air by Acherona, trulywicked    99k, Stiles/Derek, AU, kid fic, huamn alpha!Stiles, 

It was a little strange moving back to Beacon Hills. His daughter becoming enchanted with his odd and very attractive neighbor didn't really help matters.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13560651    What Goes Around by KouriArashi    71k, Stiles & Peter, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, BAMF!Stiles, killer!Stiles, 

“Well,” Stiles says, “if they’re going to hunt werewolves, I’m going to hunt them.”

It’s a ridiculous statement from a ten-year-old, but he’s obviously one hundred percent sincere. For the first time since the fire, Peter feels life stir inside him, feels purpose. It’s kismet, clearly. He’ll never meet the child he would have had with Olivia. Instead he’s met this boy, this brilliant, determined, cynical child with a world of potential.

Peter kneels down in front of him so they’re at eye level. “How do you feel about doing that together?”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14716970    Truth and Consequences by KouriArashi    45k, Peter/Stiles, slow build, h/c

“The place you give the Bite has meaning," Derek says. "Biting someone on the side is to make them your beta. It makes them your subordinate, but it also invites them into the pack with the full protection of the alpha. Biting someone on the legs indicates that you’re turning them to an omega. And biting someone on the arm, particularly the wrist, turns someone as your equal. It’s a mating ritual.”

Stiles nearly chokes on a mouthful of granola. “A what?”  

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070471    With or Without You by KouriArashi    62k, Stiles/Derek, AU, fake dating, UST, mating rituals, 

Derek thinks that the mating rituals are overly romanticized bullshit, but claiming a mate and defending them from challengers is something werewolves do, and his pack can't afford to appear weak after the fire. Especially not when Deucalion and his friends are in town for the rituals. Enter Stiles Stilinski, who offers to let Derek claim him so he won't be overrun at the ceremonies. Nothing goes as expected.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/485744    The Domestication of Canis Lupus by zoemathemata    3k, pre-Stiles/Derek, wolf!derek, 

The age old story of a boy and his dog werewolf. They play in the woods, they go for walks. They don’t talk about it. Ever.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/629986   til the earth dies with the sun by callunavulgari    11k, Stiles/Derek,female!Derek, mythology, 

“What are you doing to yourself, Derek?” — In which there is a retelling of season one, wolf pelts of selkie-esque origins, Derek fucking up, and Derek realizing that she can, in fact, forgive herself.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/532745     In quiet, a favor by Helenish    12k, Stiles/Derek, 

“You like happy endings, huh?” Stiles says, lying pressed in against his back, sliding his fingers along the edge of Derek’s chest, along his ribs and up his sternum. 

.  

https://archiveofourown.org/works/550685    this boy, half-destroyed by M_Leigh     25k, Stiles/Derek, derek hale and his infinite pain, 2pov, 

"Bodies – those are something you understand, mostly; you know immediately exactly how much smaller he is than the last time you saw him. Too skinny, too pale; his cheeks cave in a little too much, from his face. He’s a shadow of something: he looks like the dead walking. His hands are stuffed down in the pockets of his hoodie and he looks tentative but not afraid."

Derek Hale used to have a family. Now, he's got a teenage human more trouble than he's worth. Post-S2.

2nd pov done RIGHT

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/730880    Rattle This Ghost Town by whiskey_in_tea    20k, Stiles/Derek, pack dynamics, 

The Second Annual Totally Democratic Meeting of the Equals of the Beacon Hills Werewolf Pack does not go any better than the first one did.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11509980    Under the Songbird’s Wing by mia6363    87k, Peter/Stiles, AU, PTSD, captivity, trauma, touch starved, pack bonding, 

Captivity easily destroys the will of escape. It can break the fiercest of animal. It can strip the most regal man and woman down to nothing but animal needs.

Captivity can, if met with unwavering determination, shape a person into something unimaginable.

Stiles is sixteen when he's captured. Stiles's first thought is, "I won't die here."

dark af but deep and lovely and definitely one of the best fics i’ve ever read

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19274371    Bad Blood by DiscontentedWinter    62k, Stiles/Derek, Peter&Stiles, AU, hunter hunting!Stiles, murder,

Stiles Stilinski was taken from Beacon Hills when he was ten years old. Now, six years later, he’s a trained hunter, and he’s back to help the Argents finish the job they started.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6798541    Wolfsbane by DiscontentedWinter    48k, Stiles/Derek, AU, torture, captivity, kate argent as a warning, 

Kate Argent has kept a little trophy of the Hale fire for all these years - Derek Hale. When Deputy Stiles Stilinski finds him, he doesn't just need to rescue Derek from the Argents. He needs to rescue Derek from his past.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19981762    hold on to me because i'm a little unsteady by starcanopus    6k, Stiles/Derek, AU, time travel, hale family, 

“Derek.” Stiles casts a slightly nervous glance around the cafeteria, eyes widening. He's a little surprised that Stiles knows his name.

Derek can feel his teammates’ gazes on him, can hear their confused whispers. He doesn’t care. There’s just…something about Stiles, and despite his parents’ warnings (“be careful of that Stilinski boy, son, he doesn’t feel right”), Derek wants to know more. He wants to know why Stiles is always alone and why, despite the sarcastic grin that seems permanently etched over his lips, he sometimes reeks of grief and rage.

“Can I sit here?”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1153006    Sleep Awhile by allyasavedtheday    7k, Stiles/Derek, bed sharing, fluff, 

Stiles and Derek decide to take part in some mutually beneficial naptime  

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/628714    The Mending That You Need by torakowalski    3k, Stiles/Derek, subdrop, aftercare, 

“He’s not my boyfriend, Stiles. He’s a man from a club. I couldn’t call him, if I wanted to.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/824824    Wash Me Clean by tigerlady (shetiger)    37k, Stiles/Derek, first time, scent marking, watersports, ritualistic sex, 

Derek doesn't know what the alpha pack is planning, so all he can do is keep watch on everyone they might target. Stiles is so not on board with that plan. Somehow their clash of wills leads to a sexual relationship Derek knows he should put an end to—if he can just get himself to do so.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/673925    That's What Friends Are For by tigerlady (shetiger)     6k, Scott/Stiles, genderswap, first time, 

Somehow, Scott managed to wind up on the wrong end of a genderswapping spell.

Turns out, it's not a completely bad thing.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/558702    he pushed inside and made me new by tigerlady (shetiger)    11k, Lydia/Stiles, fuck buddies, 

"I love Jackson," she says as soon as she's close enough that she doesn't have to raise her voice.

"Okay?" Stiles glances left to right, like her meaning is crouched in the darkness somewhere. "I love Taco Tuesdays. Back to you."

They go back to school in the fall, and everyone acts like it's all okay. Like none of it ever happened. That's all right, because Lydia could have an Oscar someday. If she wanted one.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13580295   How We Got Here by Areiton    9k, Stiles/Derek, bed sharing, domestic fluff, didn’t know they were dating, 

Maybe if you fight the creatures of the night together like they did, if you bury enough friends and strangers and enemies, you don’t lose touch.

He thinks that’s why he and Derek are friends--because Derek understands his nightmares, understands the nights when he can’t talk, and the nights he can’t stand the dark.

OR: Against all odds and expectations, Stiles and Derek have become respectable adults ( WHY?) and friends.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5030350    Unlucky Ace by MissAnnThropic    41k, Laura/OMC, Stiles/Derek, 

Laura Hale brings her boyfriend home to meet the family, and there is something absolutely terrifying about the Hales.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7740541    Sanctuary by DiscontentedWinter    56k, Peter/Stiles, past torture, PTSD, scars, 

The Hale Wolf Sanctuary isn’t just for wolves.

It turns out it’s for Stilinskis as well.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16619414    Baby Daddy by DiscontentedWinter   55k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, 

Laura Hale decides it's time to expand her pack. And Stiles could really use the money. And Derek... well, that's when things get complicated.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3195734    Home by TheTypewriterGirl    167k, Stiles/Derek, h/c, depression, 

January seventh. Seven days since the start of 2015, and seven days since his father’s death.

The bastard, he thinks bitterly. The past year Derek Hale had made it blatantly obvious that he hated his scrawny guts, taking every given opportunity to shove him up against a wall, growl threats in his ears and roll his eyes whenever he stepped into the room, muttering some snide comment about how spastic or idiotic he was.

So why did he fucking volunteer to take him in?

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5943391    Whatever Works by KouriArashi    61k, Peter/Stiles, Stiles/Derek, soulmates, asexuality, aromantic, polyamory, 

The problem with having your soulmate's first words to you tattooed on your arm is knowing your whole life that you're fated to be with a jerk. It's enough to make Stiles want to date other people ... which is how he winds up dating his soulmate's nephew.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4070788    Call My Name by KouriArashi    81k, Peter/Stiles, mystery, angst, mental health issues, mating bond, 

After moving to Beacon Hills, Stiles starts having recurring dreams of a man in some kind of prison, who needs his help. Things get so bad that he ends up in Eichen House, where he finds out that the man is real.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18388196    A Match Unmade in Beacon Hills by KouriArashi    47k, Stiles/Derek, AU, soulmates, pining, 

Derek met his soulmate Kate Argent when he was 15, and he's tried for years to understand why his soulmate is so cruel to him. Then he meets Stiles Stilinski, who has no soulmate mark, an extremely rare phenomenon. Stiles thinks that he's destined to be alone forever, but apparently fate has other plans...

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2533796    Devil of Mercy by KouriArashi    82k, Peter/Stiles, AU, mystery, mating bond, sexual assault, prostitution, pack politics, 

Peter's heard people talk about what it felt like when they saw their mate for the first time, from those who actually believe in the mystical bullshit. Like a magnet, like gravity. Peter just feels... sharply curious.

.

.

Marvel

all of the universes

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14826525     in cayenne and honey, in vinegar and lime by alby_mangroves, Nonymos   27k, M’Baku/Bucky, Steve/Bucky, enemies to lovers, 

M’Baku fought for T’Challa. But should he keep fighting for T’Challa’s vision? The king is professing change, such deep change, while the Jabari are supposed to be the guardians of tradition.

It’s a complex problem, which demands a cool head. So M’Baku could really do without an old love coming back to haunt him, an obnoxious royal teenager, and T’Challa’s secret one-armed guest.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16437236    taking everyone for a ride by Nonymos    49k, Venom/Eddie, Venom/Eddie/Dan/Anne, poly, all the kink, 

Things Eddie Brock flirts with on a regular basis: death, insanity, his ex, his ex’s new boyfriend, and also the alien symbiote that lives inside his body. Not bad for a loser with no game, really.

- Everything by Nonymos is pure gold, honestly.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12823671     despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) by praximeter (Zimario)    71k, Steve/Bucky, body horror, drug withdrawal, angst, touch starved

“They really didn’t want the mask to come off.” Hill thumbed through the scans, and pulled out a film that she then handed over to Sam, face mostly expressionless but for the flat line of her pursed lips.

Sam accepted the film and held it up to the light, angling so both he and Steve could see it, squinting at the outline of the Winter Soldier’s skull, and the blips of unnatural white that showed up, God, in his brain, not to mention about half his teeth, plus the mask, with its thin protrusions—

“Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.”

Hill’s face was as unmoved as ever. “Like I said. They really didn’t want it coming off.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8615512    Side bitch out of your league by rohkeutta    2k, Steve/Bucky, AU, wrong number, 

“I tried to call Sam,” Captain America says, bewildered. He’s sprinting like Usain Bolt and doesn’t sound even a little out of breath. Fucker. “Who’re you?”

“Someone who’s watching you live on TV,” Bucky tells him as the tiny patriotic figure on the screen takes the turns like he instructed. Bucky should probably be a lot more freaked out about this, but honestly? After a tour in the Middle East and six years as a nurse in New York, even this isn’t enough to ruffle him. One sees a lot of shit in the ER. “Also, you better hang up now, that thing is behind the next bend.”

“Uh, okay,” Captain America says. “Thanks?”

“Whatever,” Bucky says, disconnects the call and turns the TV off to get ready for his shift.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1583054    Come To Morning by orphan_account    4k, Steve/Bucky, 

He figured it was natural, kind of—well, not natural, but he and Steve spent a lot of time together, and Steve didn’t get so much attention from girls, which was a crying shame because he was a good guy and a girl could do a lot worse. But it meant maybe Steve got a bit confused, because sometimes he would look at Bucky with this look. This bright, astonished look, like he was seeing something so good he couldn’t quite believe it was real. It made Bucky squirm inside, a little.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2628242    Kiss Me Hello by kehinki    5k, Steve/Bucky, fluff, 

Bucky and Steve take to kissing each other hello, goodbye, goodnight. It's all very platonic until it isn't.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3765634    Painted in Indigo by nekare    11k, Steve/Bucky, pining, 

“You should be careful of that one,” Mr. Hendrickson says, with a nod to Bucky outside the window. “It ain’t right. Looking at you all the time as he does. The way he should be looking at girls.”

Steve laughs, because damn, but what a ridiculous idea.

Or, five times Steve caught Bucky looking at him, and the one time he looked first.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/2365754    all different names for the same thing by becausemagnets    11k, Steve/Bucky, asexual character, 

"Doesn’t mean that much, you know. Plenty of guys go down to the docks every once in a while, get themselves taken care of. Their shoes shined.” He sneered at Steve, but Steve wasn’t looking at him, lost in something he’d probably never tell Bucky about. “Some of ‘em got wives and kids and everything. Sail all the way around the world to get it in Brooklyn. I’m, uh, I’m pretty good at it. Shining shoes, I mean. At least as good as a dame you’d pay for, probably. It wouldn’t mean anything if we-- did that. I mean, I could be the punk, that’s not a--”

“Bucky, shut up.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3520175    hold me until we crumble by queenklu    22k, Steve/Bucky, 

“Sam told me you were watching Antiques Roadshow,” Natasha says, shaking out her hair. “I assumed it was a national emergency.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2537363    Silent thunder, as of a thousand wings by kaasknot    83k, Steve/Bucky, AU, angel!Bucky, pining, angst, 

A theologian once said that angels are constructs of love and holy rage, and chained to obedience through both. Or maybe a theologian hadn't said that. Maybe it was the Bright One himself, or just Uriel being grumpy.

But Bucky knows that he loves Steve, and he loves his taskmaster of a boss even as he gripes about him over beers after work, and he loves the dames with their red, red lips and smooth, soft curves (and he loves the guys, loves their strength and the tall, proud lines of them), and he loves old Mrs. Greene even when her rheumatism acts up and she turns mean as a wet cat. But he loves Steve most of all, and if Bucky is shackled to mindless obedience because of it, he calls it a good trade, because Steven Grant Rogers is the best person he knows. When it comes down to it, he figures his desire only adds a new dimension to a love that was already there, glowing hot enough to burn.

He was sent to Earth in a cage of mortal flesh to watch over Steve, and Bucky can do no less than love him with all his heart.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/1871955    Out of the Dead Land by orphan_account    62k, Steve/Bucky, identity issues, h/c, 

Someone is building machines that look and act like people.

Meanwhile, the Winter Soldier tries to be Bucky Barnes.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1920351    Try jumping by brokentoy    1k, Steve/Bucky, frottage, 

His legs tighten their hold and Steve grunts, pushes his head back until it thumps against the floor and Bucky looks up, takes advantage of the moment and fists his hand into Steve’s hair, right at the nape of his neck.

‘’Say uncle,’’ he says.

‘’Nope’’, Steve answers.

He pulls his hand a little, ‘’Come on.’’ Steve’s head arches with it.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/1560899    Jonathan to his David by Vera (Vera_DragonMuse)    9k, Steve/Bucky, codependency, small dick,

Before, Bucky loved Steve's size. After, he falls in love with the whole package.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/1825195    The Unlikely Summoner by Kryptaria    4k, Steve/Bucky, AU, demon!Bucky, 

The fallen angel Buchuel has been summoned to the mortal world many times. Its powers have toppled kingdoms and destroyed armies. It thought it had seen it all... until a lonely young man from Brooklyn, seeking a good luck charm, accidentally summons Buchuel.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1181292    Targets And Taking by Salmon_Pink    Peter/Flash Thompson, bullying, 

He's left his bruises on Parker, but Parker's left a mark somewhere under Flash's skin.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/11211306   The Man in the Mask by thelonebamf    21k, Wade/Peter, AU,

When Wade is unceremoniously dropped off into the custody of one Dr. Parker, he assumes the man has only the worst possible intentions for one of the world's last remaining mutants. But it turns out, the universe still holds plenty of surprises for them both.   

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/12292941   From the Mouths of Babes by CAPSING    6k, Wade/Peter, age difference, internalized victim blaming, 

“There’s a guy who’s been flirting with me.” “Mhmm,” Ned turns to Peter, swallowing his bite. “Is he hot?”

(Or: Deadpool starts hitting on Spider-Man, unaware he’s a minor; ignorance turns up not to bring any bliss to either of them.)

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/16667122    The Devil All The Time by LeafyGreenQueen773    6k, Wade/Peter, AU, crush, catholic guilt, 

AU: Peter doesn't have powers, but Wade does. Peter Parker was raised Catholic by his parents, and Uncle Ben took up the gauntlet of taking Peter to mass every Sunday. Now that Ben is gone, Peter feels guilty all the time. His emerging sexuality doesn't help.

Excerpt: Peter slipped a hand under the waistband of his pajama pants; he was already hard, and sensitive. The moment he wrapped his hand around himself, he felt a bead of moisture drip out of him. “Oh God,” he murmured into the darkness. Guilt surged into his chest. With a groan, Peter pulled his hand out of his pants and grabbed onto the sheet instead. He turned onto his side and forced himself to close his eyes.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18242423    Arachnid meets Mercenary (and is happier for it) by landunderwave   11k, Wade/Peter, emotional h/c, first time, loneliness, 

Spiderman is strong, fast, self-confident, sassy. Peter Parker is awkward, nerdy, socially graceless, and visibly not-human. They are both so very lonely. Enter stage left, one Merc with a Mouth, aka Deadpool, aka Wade Winston Wilson, booty-seeker extraordinaire. Also secretly lonely. Will they overcome their hangups and fall in love? Definitely, it's written in the tags.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17647748    A Study of Stairways by sparkstarthetrashcan    14k, Wade/Peter, AU, ghost fic, 

Wade Wilson is a bad student. Poor grades, no attention span and not a soul to help him. Even if he tries to study he’s always distracted by his phone or a supernaturally attractive boy who showed up out of nowhere, whispering answers in his ear.

Peter, almost got into Harvard, Parker spends his time tutoring students. He’s smart enough and he’s got nothing else to do, so he might as well. But Wade’s different. He doesn’t seem to want Peter for his brain like everyone else, Wade cares about him.

Problem is, Peter isn’t normal. He’s a ghost.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/12664023    Weaver of Silk and Dreams by a_stands_for    73k, Wade/Peter, Peter/Johnny Storm, AU, mutant!Peter, age difference, slow burn, pining, 

Ben Parker sighed as he looked up into The Thing's eyes, so expressively human in spite of the rest of his rocky appearance.

“My fifteen-year-old nephew--who's practically my own little boy!--” he choked out with a tight voice, “h-he can't pass for human anymore. He's scared, and he's isolated, and he just needs someone else to talk to! Someone who can understand. Please."

_____

Some alternate realities are unrecognizable, and some are indistinguishable. This one lies somewhere in between.

Peter Parker's life was derailed when he mutated into a strange human/spider hybrid, and he knows that's not the way things went down for him in other realities. Still, he's determined to forge a new path and make the best of it. Sometimes "the friends we made along the way" really is the greatest treasure anyone could ask for.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/561716    We Might Be Radioactive by Croik    48k, Bruce/Peter, age difference, 

Peter misses his chance at saving the world alongside the Avengers, but he's not out. When he scales Stark Tower hoping to meet Tony (and possibly secure a seat on the team) he instead meets Bruce, who has taken up a temporary residence while he continues his Hulk research. The two bond over science-y things, but between Bruce's dry spell, Peter's teen hormones, and the secret identities they're still coming to grips with themselves, it doesn't take long for things to get complicated.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6578101    Calenture by Florentium    12k, Steve/Bucky, first time, body dysphoria, gender roles, 

A heatwave has had Steve and Bucky cooped up in the tenement for the past couple of days and Steve is starting to wear out.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/2599046    there's nothing left of you by notallbees    22k, Steve/Buck, pining, body dysphoria, emotional h/c, 

Bucky’s having a hard time reconciling Captain America with the friend he left behind in Brooklyn. It’s bad enough that every time he closes his eyes he sees the inside of a torture chamber. Now, every time he opens them again, he sees a stranger with Steve Rogers’ eyes and smile. 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/7907179    Strays by snarklyboojum    33k, Steve/Bucky, semi-accidental voyeurism, weaponized music, surveillance, 

After finding himself alone for the first time in decades, the Winter Soldier learns how to be a person again. Mostly through caring for an orphaned kitten, countless rounds of YouTube roulette, and stalking Captain America.

Or: Bucky Barnes, accidental millennial.

.

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Naruto 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/11500380    I'm falling for your eyes (but they don't know me yet) by blackkat   1k, Shisui/Naruto, gender fluid character, 

Shisui is done. Gone. That’s it for him, he’s toast.

(Or, Shisui is in love. Naruto is mostly oblivious. Everyone else is entirely convinced that Shisui is a creeper.)

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7726795   How To Survive The Weirdest Experience Of Your Life by IncompleteSentanc (Erava)    40k, Obito/Kakashi, everybody lives nobody dies, post time travel fix-it, PTSD, 

Obito has lived through the single weirdest experience of his life. Not many could say that they'd gotten crushed by a boulder, had half their body replaced by creepy alien flesh, was promptly held captive for a year by a supposed-to-be-dead Madara Uchiha, was saved by a randomly raiding pack of supervillains, then promptly killed by them, fixed up again, then dumped in a forest, and finally, FINALLY, returned home again.

Yeah.

His life has gotten pretty weird. But he's home, he has his family, and he has hope that someday soon he'll be able to say he didn't just survive the experience - but that he also come out of it pretty okay.

(Sequel to How To Save The World)

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/14084685    kintsukuroi by tomorrowsrain    26k, Obito/Kakashi, AU, 

In which Kakashi and Obito survive the Kyuubi attack, get exiled from Konoha, learn how to survive, and still manage to become legends along the way.

(The bratty genin are unexpected, though.)

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/10220633    Sakutaro by NikkiGrand    9k, Sakura/Sakura, rule 63, self-cest, 

When Haruno Sakutaro said that he'd date the hell out of himself, he wasn't being literal.

But they say that man makes plans and God laughs, and ain't that the truth?

Somehow finding himself in an alternate dimension where he's a girl, Sakutaro finds himself venturing into unknown, salaciously ridiculous territory...for science.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/14826039    three is a crowd by exarite    3k, Sakura/Neji/Shikamaru, voyeurism, exhibitionism, poly, 

There's no real time and place to pinpoint how exactly the three of them began, and so all they have is this: moments in time, steps in place for the three of them to fall together.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/876332    Forbidden by enodia    2k, Sakura/Shikamaru, infidelity, secret relationship, 

Sometimes what you see is what you get. Sometimes not. Sometimes only a select few know what really goes on behind the scenes. Sakura and Shikamaru are both aware of this and they prefer to keep some secrets to themselves. 

.   

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13544241    J'accuse! by TipsyRaconteur    38k, Sakura/Kakashi, 

In which Kakashi and Sakura make a series of escalating accusations.

-----

Glaring at him, she said accusingly, “You like me.”

His eyes widened, and a short, disbelieving laugh escaped his lips. “What, are you twelve?”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15123857    An Experiment by mummapaintstheblues    140k, Sakura/Kakashi, slow burn, 

Surely even the Hokage is able to indulge in the occasional mope in the privacy of his own office.. A project to get these ninja some much needed therapy brings two of them together in a unique way. It might just be enough to pull them out of the loneliness, and Kakashi is determined she won't end up like him. A long winded slow burn in which Kakashi makes questionable decisions to end his Hokagedom and Sakura continues to be awesome.

.

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Star Wars 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/21798157    Binary Stars by Pawprinter    2k, Finn/Poe, 

There is nothing like an approaching battle and looming death to make one come clean about their hidden feelings. Minutes before he is set to take off, Poe has one thing on his mind.

He needs to find Finn.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/6056386    Sehnsuch by tjiokra (scatteredmoonlight)    27k, Finn/Poe, canon-AU, conditioning, memory loss, PTSD, 

Phasma issues to the FN unit refurbished datapads plundered from a demolished Resistance base, which have been refilled with First Order propaganda. Naturally, FN-2187’s datapad malfunctions and resets to its original settings. Before FN-2187 can properly panic over this, a message is sent to him by a Resistance fighter under the code name Black Leader. It’s one simple word: “Status?”

FN-2187 wakes up to the orders of committing coldblooded murder and falls asleep to the despair of the dead. He’s one step away from messing up and getting reconditioned. When Black Leader asks how he’s doing, even if the question isn’t intended for him, FN-2187 can’t help himself.

He replies, “Alive.”

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/7423957    A Thicket of New Veins by gloss    5k, Finn/Poe, first time, PTSD, accidental stimulation, 

"I'm okay." Poe grabs Finn's shoulder and tugs him closer. "Promise you won't laugh?"

"Yeah, of course, I won't." Finn nods and hope it looks reassuring. "You know, other than that one defection, I'm a pretty reliable person."

"Yeah," Poe says, and maybe it's just because they're leaning so close like they're about to share their deepest secrets, but Finn hears Poe's *breath* every bit as much as his words. "You really are. Um." Unexpected reunion, post-battle stress, and accidental stimulation=desperately needed first time.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/5609887    to the sky without wings by leupagus    81k, Poe/Luke, 

Poe dreams of a blue-green tree.

this is a very, very good read.

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Good Omens

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/19386730    Spoonful by Demorra (thebibliosphere)    2k, Aziraphale/Crowley, 

“Nanny?”

Crowley’s head jerked up as he twisted round awkwardly in his chair to find a familiar face staring at him through the crowd, the time-altered features torn somewhere between consternation and twitching on the verge of a grin. He stared.

“Warlock?” Crowley he demanded, reaching for his glasses and only just managing to resist the urge to pull them off, “Warlock?”

.

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Merlin

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/638875     The One Where Arthur Sells Tongue Cuz Being Rich is Hard Life by derryere    5k, Merlin/Arthur, AU, pining, 

Arthur sells make-out lessons at a boarding school.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/10991331    Heart Lines by PeaceHeather    47k, Merlin/Arthur, soulmates, asexuality, 

Everyone is born with a heart line, a pigmented mark running from the heart down the left arm to the palm, which turns color when the person comes of age, telling them when it is time to seek their soulmate. Red indicates a romantic love, while blue is for platonic "heart-friends", as the minstrels called it.

Uther had always told Arthur to ignore his heart line, that it wouldn't matter who his soulmate was; princes did not marry for love, after all. If was lucky, he'd be able to keep her as a mistress, so long as he did not get any children with her. Uther hated magic and would have urged Arthur to ignore the heart line anyway, if he could.

Arthur wasn't sure his soulmate was really a woman despite Uther's assumptions. But Arthur's heart line hadn't even come into its full color yet, which meant he hadn't come of age in the eyes of the gods, despite being named crown prince by Uther. So it really didn't matter: whoever his soulmate was, he wasn't yet ready to meet them.

Then one day his heart line comes in, and it's neither red nor blue.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/19835569     Show Me by tehfanglyfish     10k, Merlin/Arthur, telepathic bond, accidental voyeurism, mutual masturbation, 

An attack from a vindictive sorcerer leaves Arthur able to hear Merlin's thoughts and share his dreams, revealing secrets Merlin would rather keep hidden.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3218075    Fathom Me Out by supercalvin   21k, Merlin/Arthur, 

After ten years, Arthur thinks he has Merlin all figured out. But as he watches Merlin, he finds out that he has more questions than answers. The longer he thinks about it, the more uneasy he feels. So he pushes it aside. Except, he can no longer ignore the questions he has about Merlin.

Not your everyday reveal!fic.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/245495    The Promise Within by MK_Yujji    49k, Merlin/Arthur, 

“This is not as destiny intended, young warlock. You are meant to be the magical side of this coin, not the young Pendragon. I can no longer clearly see what path destiny will follow.”

An ancient ceremony alters the course of destiny and everyone must face choices that no one expected. As Uther’s hatred of magic clashes with his love for his son, Arthur sees everything in a different light.

.

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Borderlands

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/5784007   up into the silence, the green by bellpickle    78k, Handsome Jack/Rhys, AU, 

Rhys thought he was ready for anything when he arrived on Helios as a newly minted Hyperion worker bee. Until the CEO was murdered on his very first day.

-----

"Hey there, kiddos! Handsome Jack here. I’m sure you’ve all heard the good news by now, or at least waved at it as it floated by the windows. If you look real closely at Mr Tassiter’s frostbitten face, you can see the tear streaks from when he cried like a pansy bitch in his final moments. Good times!”

“Anyway, just wanted to tell you all how honored I am to know that you dirty ingrates are already making attempts on my life. I’m expecting at least one more before the day’s end, so don’t disappoint me. I’ll be waiting."

-----

The story of how Rhys fell in love with the most hated man in six galaxies.

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Hannibal 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/10505733    The Fault in My Code by LiaS0 90k, Will/Hannibal, AU, soulmates, manipulation, gaslighting, murder, 

Soulmate AU: Soulmates find their other half when they look into their eyes. After the next time they sleep, they wake with one eye the color of their intended.

Will Graham avoids eyes. He's never wanted a soulmate, never wanted to be told by the universe who he was supposed to feel a connection to. He already struggles enough with connections, thank you very much. As a psychiatrist, he works with soulmates who have lost their other half through various means, part of a social system that regards the journey to your soulmate as the most important thing a person can do. Coerced by Jack Crawford to consult on a case where the assailant is targeting soulmates, Will finds himself turning to the notorious Dr. Lecter to gain insight on how he's choosing the soulmates to target.

Things go horribly awry when he looks into Hannibal's eyes, though. The next morning, he wakes up with one eye blue, the other maroon. He's never wanted a soulmate, least of all one behind bars for murdering dozens of people and eating them. Hannibal thinks it's delightful -it's been dreadfully boring since he was locked up.

Romance, thriller, mayhem, mystery, soulmate au with a realistic twist, and a grumpy Will Graham

absolutely fascinating take on the trope

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---------------------------------- 

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Avatar: The Last Airbender

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/4592961    challenging by orphan_account    5k, Sokka/Zuko, sparring, 

Sokka knew Fire Nation customs were weird, especially the customs surrounding royalty, but it seemed impossible for something like treating your sparring partner to be so outrageously out of Zuko's comfort zone. For Sokka, it was common sense, even if he'd grown up sparring with cloth bundles instead of real people. It was just the right thing to do. Maybe this wasn't even a Fire Nation thing, maybe it was a Zuko thing. After all, it was only recently that he'd even decided to join Team Avatar and hitch his hopes with the good guys. This might just be one of the many things that former villains had to learn – like smiling, or laughing in a way that didn't sound sharp and bladed. But looking at Zuko now, still staring at him, he had a good idea it was the former.

.

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Toy Story 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/617850    Under the Table and Dreaming by hollycomb     103k, Andy/Sid, 

Andy met Sid when he was four years old, and while some things change, a lot of things stay the same. 

this fic is an amazing read  

.

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South Park

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/2460731    Never Change by hollycomb    115k, Stan/Kyle, murder mystery, closeted character, 

Thirteen years after his high school girlfriend's pregnancy upended his life, Stan is still in South Park, working with his partner Bebe as a local cop. They're in the process of investigating a series of possibly connected murders when FBI agent Kyle Broflovski returns to town and informs his old friend Stan that this is his investigation now.

.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/16691212    Little Runaway by scarecrow_horses    42k Xander/Spike, domestic, off-screen prostitution, 

An alternate ending to the 'Glory' problem from season 5. Dawn comes up with the perfect solution, and Spike reluctantly agrees. Now they just need a 'rational, mature, adult' to make the idea palatable to Buffy. Enter Xander.....

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1076429    Ritual, With Oil by dustandroses    2k, Xander/Spike, painting on skin, magical ritual, voyeurism, 

This was what Xander got for volunteering. He needed to stop doing that.

.

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/r/NoSleep

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https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/8oueb7/i_work_security_at_disney_world_well_i_mean_i_did/    I work security at Disney World... well, I mean I did. by u/disneysecurity    

I work in security at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. Typically, I wouldn’t say where I work as obviously there are some pretty strict rules about things employees can put online, but I just don’t think I can tell this properly without that context. And, honestly, I think this may be it for me anyway with this job. I just can’t see myself working here any longer now. 

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https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/3iex1h/im_a_search_and_rescue_officer_for_the_us_forest/   I'm a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I have some stories to tell by u/searchandrescuewoods 

I wasn't sure where else to post these stories, so I figured I'd share them here. I've been an SAR officer for a few years now, and along the way I've seen some things that I think you guys will be interested in. 

.  

https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/9z3cm6/so_yeah_i_dont_do_drugs_anymore/    So, Yeah... I Don't Do Drugs Anymore. by u/TheJesseClark 

I mean, I was never a heavy addict, or anything. Never did heroin, or meth. Tried crack cocaine once. That was… yeah. But I was only sober for eight months between that and when Eddie, an old buddy of mine, introduced me to something called K3. Against my better judgement, I took him up on the offer.

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https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/9418eh/i_saw_something_on_the_evening_news_that_i_cant/    I saw something on the evening news that I can't explain by u/OQS

My work friends and I were out at our favourite pub last night. Not a really fancy place but, you know, cheap beer and close enough to home that I don't have to drive. The night started out normally enough, the four of us crammed into a small table off in the corner, mostly talking shop and shitting on our boss. Being this was the middle of the week there weren't too many other people around, maybe around eight or nine others in the whole place. Everybody just kinda keeping to themselves, sorta people you'd expect to see in a pub on a Wednesday.

.

Not enough? check out my notdead recs tag for previous editions containing another 1586+ fic recs (jfc) in various fandoms

[kendrixtermina]

Fic Writer Game

I was tagged by @glorfindel-the-golden <3.

AO3 name: Kendrix

Fandoms: among others, Silmarillion, Doctor Who, Steven Universe, Fire Emblem three houses, Neon Genesis Evangelion

Number of fics: 24 on Ao3 but there’s probably older stuff on older websites. I kind of regret deleting my early teenage products woud’ve been cute to have them for Nostalgia’s sake, like an embarassing baby picture

Fic I spent the most time on: Children of the Prophecy (english) (german) I’ve been at it since before I could have done it in English to begin with. Still want to finish it... eventually. At this rate im gonna do it as an old crone. Still I enjoyed it a lot. 

Fic I spent the least time on: Of the ones currently up? This one was a 20 minute feelsvent after finishing the first part of Starcraft II 

Longest fic: Children of the Prophecy again. It’s prolly fatter than two Harry Potter books by now

Shortest fic: It would be this attempt at a drabble-like thing

Most hits: Matriarch ( 9780 ), followed by the English Children of the Prophecy ( 2930 )

Most kudos: Matriarch (254), followed by Lady of Hresvelg (88)

Most comment threads: Matriarch again sigh. (255) I sort of ragequit that fandom but I still feel the obligation to finish it. Though on FF net  its the english CotP. with 64

Favourite fic I’ve written: I’m fond of Antedilluvium (Doctor who) because I really enjoyed the premise, and this collection of experimental whouffle (doctor x clara) oneshots. 

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: One my first plotfic attempts was an objectively lacking Inuyasha fic called “Naraku’s Angel I and II”. It’s also how I met the girl that would become my best friend through a difficult time of my life, who was also the first person I was properly in love with. (no, really! not that much happened we were early teens. Eventually we grew appart but if I met someone with that level of compatibility with my current life experience I would start saving up for wedding rings asap. ) It wasn’t so good but I think there were enough good unique fantasy ideas in there that it would be worth throwing out the derivative bits and recycling all the original stuff as a fantasy novel. 

Share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on:

Here’s a preview of the epilogue to MFF, which is currently about 50% done:

“What would bring you to this turbid gloom with the glow of live still clinging to you? Whom would you seek here? Crown-prince Nelyafinwe? Russandol, older brother of six? My mother’s son Maitimo, whom she once counted among her proudest works?

Whichever it is, you will not find him here, here is only Dispossessed and Marred and Crimson-Stained…, Lord of Nowhere, and King of Nothing.  The survivors of Doriath have given me the name of half-orc, though even the orcs themselves have begged to differ. I believe that in their speech, I have long been called ‘Hewer’ - that alone still holds true.”

“Actually, I was expecting Makalaure.”

“And I was expecting the void, and darkness everlasting!” croaked the wretched, mournful memory of a once familiar, bleary voice: “Illuvatar himself hath denied it to me!

And before you leave here, you might well think that it is rightly deserved.

You can’t speak to Makalaure. Makalaure is lost. I can’t tell you where he is. No one can.

They say the Silmaril that he bore was cast into the sea, but if that’s where he ended, they have found naught that remains of him yet. Neither of his body, nor of his innermost...

I’m sorry, sister, I can’t tell you where he is...”

One word alone rang in her mind, and stung at the tips of her lips until he was done speaking, and then, in this illusion of swirling murky blackness, did she think that she had at last understood what had befallen, and her wrath was sharp as the desperate harpoon that draws its master back down with it to the deep in the tangles of its rope:

“The Silmaril. Of course. That’s all you cared about wasn’t it?!”

Silent as the bottoms of the sea, she still somehow pelted the walls with cutting accusations, carelessly hurled, as if she had come only to display herself like the fool-fire of an anglerfish’s lure.

“He wanted to go back!” he countered, all white-hot-glaring necessity like a blinding magnesium flame, though it wasn’t his voice and it wasn’t his eyes, or his wild desperation brought on all fours,    hair spilling to the ground like molten stone, an urgent star about to blow with a need for her to understand, but not in the least for his own sake, liquid diamonds begging on the ground:

“Makalaure said we should turn back. Turn ourselves in. Surrender to the might of the Valar… but I talked him out of it. If only because I no longer believed that this much was even possible… So we descended on the camp of the Valar, and slew the guards- and then...”

“And then what?” she cried, and her voice bore down like the pressure of the ocean.

“Then we knew our own wretchedness.”

He unfolded the long, sturdy fingers of his hand, like fate unfolded, or the shadows on a sundial, as as the blossom concealed within such martial petals, he showed to her a scar, as a charred fresh burn on the inside of his palm and the lower ends of his fingers.

He didn’t have a palm, or fingers,  yet the scar was there, as material as the ancient walls themselves who were built here even before the Two Trees first bloomed, a monolithic, natural monument more than they seemed a feat of craft, and more so than anything else here.

His long-lost right hand was hanging over his knees, though he still favored his left out of sheer habit, all the marks, mars and irregularities that once dotted his arms, face and chest were gone without a trace alongside the flesh he was born with; Nonetheless, this one blemish had somehow remained, like some deeper evil continuously reasserting itself from within.

I hereby chose to desist from poking anyone. 

[shining-chemicals]

It's funny how the music I listen to evolved.

When I was about 10 years old, I got my first mp3-player. It was quite old and often broken. The music that I could listen to, sounded bad because of rustlea and it got cut off often. I didn't care though, I was happy that my dad gave it to me (even though my mum was against it, but that's another story). I listened a lot with it. Mostly songs of a Flemish music program for kids. So only national music then.

A little time after that my parents found out that my mp3-player was of really bad quality, but I didn't want them to buy a phone, because I was happy, idk I was a strange kid. I was happy that I had some rusty music and I didn't need more I guess. It was around that time that I saw "The Lazy Song" from Bruno Mars on TV and I asked my dad to add the song on my player. He added the whole album and for a few months I only listened to that. It was one of my first encounters of the English language. Yay.

On my twelfth birthday, at the end of 6th grade, I got my first phone. It was a very cool one, 'cause it had a touchscreen and a yellow case. I always loved yellow. Still my favourite colour and yes I am a proud hufflepuff. Deal with that. Anyways, this phone gave me a new possibility, bacause now, I was able to search and download my own music. So I discovered some more music. Mainstreet (a Dutch band), MBAND (a Russian band), some single songs and music from movies and musicals. I really began listening to international music, and as I said before, it helped me evolve my english. That, and also Harry Potter (the first movies me and my sister watched with english audio and Dutch subtitles. Now we watch every series and movie with english subs and english audio. Yay).

Around 9th grade my phone broke. The buttons for sounds and the on/off button didn't work anymore. Well I got another one. With almost unlimited music download possibility. New music wave. Serguei Lazarev, Alexander Rybak, Kpop (yeah your heard that right my dear emo friends, and i can still read the Korean alphabet).

Actually Kpop gave me some good things. So I'm happy that I went through that phase. It was the final thing to make me a non-rascism person (i am ashamed of the fact that i was, indeed, rascist. I'm not anymore though. Thank God for that). Also, I got my taste of fashion there.

Then. The emo begins. It actually doesn't begin good. It has a story too. There was this girl, a friend of mine. Let's call her A. Well she had her own problems, not gonna get into that. She listened a lot to punk/hard-rock kinda things, didn't know back then. I always judged her for that (fuck past-self me). That's not important. She had a friend (let's call him S). She was in love with him, he wasn't with her. He was also a friend of my sister's. He was a huge fan of Twenty One Pilots. Anyways, this friend S told my sister about A's problems, and my sister told me. So I knew A's problems and I knew that S told my sister, even though he was supposed to keep it secret. I did the stupidest thing by telling a good friend of mine (let's call her E) about it. I asked E not to tell A, because it would only make things worse. She told A. Still mad at her for that. Everyone found out, it was a huge mess, I hurt myself, started crying and hating myself (hasn't stopped), etc. I knew I needed help. And then I remembered about that guy S, who was a fan of tøp. I started listening to it. I fucking loved it. With whole my heart. The whole summer of '18 was a tøp-summer. It was also with the start of Trench. I was really happy. I still am. I wonder what I would be if I hadn't decided to listen to them. Fucked up probably. I still am, but I try to become better. Anyways. I went to their concert in March too. Magical night. Tøp teached me to think about what you feel.

Through Twenty One Pilots memes and all I heard a lot about the other bands of the emo quartet. A lot of a certain "Gerard Way" too. Also "Frank Iero". Well I posted a post on my tøp blog (if anyone's interested it's @trenchil ). I got to know this perfect girl @fangirling-account . She told me everything about mcr. Everything. (And I can't thank you enough for it, dear) I love mcr. I love them so much, but I guess you know that, based on my little blog here. Mcr teached me to accept myself and not trying to be someone I'm not.

I plan on getting into other bands too. Green Day, p!atd, fob, ya know.

Also, when I get into something, I mean getting slurped up in the tornado of songs, inside jokes, memes and feelings. The whole damn package. Sometimes it hurts, but I love doing it. It's called obsessing and I love it.

The thing I enjoy about music nowadays too, i the fandom. You get to share your experience with the world, there are other people who get you, there are people you can have a discussion with. People who have the same interests of hands (looking at you @areebbbb).

Anyways music kinda saved me.