#hout giving up the schedule i have now or the people i work with. like thats my biggest reason for not wanting to apply for a different posi
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well today was... certainly a day
#been feeling weird bc of dropped friendships and whatnot like my mom was all up in my case ‘gracie said she hasnt heard from you all summer!#‘ yeah bc i texted her when she got home from school and never got a response and my automatic reaction to that shit is to isolate bc ive be#en dropped. and also now i dont work w nandi anymore she was like ‘oh yeah next month we should go out once i get my first paycheck from my#new job’ but like i havent heard anything from her since either and like. againb automatic reaction is isolate dont bother them they obvious#ly dont want anything to do w me anymore ig :/ and then today at work my back started hurting bad so i had to tell my manager and end up goi#ng home and part of me feels like a little bitch for doing that bc i COULDVE worked through it and its hard to convince myself that i SHOULD#NT have and that i made the right choice. and even tho he was amazing and completely understanding about it i still feel weird about it and#my coworker adam checked on me before i left to make sure i was okay and that was really nice of him but like. bitch side of my brain is scr#eaming at me that now he thinks/knows im weak and will never respect me again. and manager told me i should apply for other positions in the#hub thatd be easier on me and i KNOW he was just looking out for me bc hes amazing but to bitch brain it just sounded like ‘i dont want you#to work for me anymore’ right. and also im kinda afraid of HIM thinking im weak or incapable bc the stuff he’d normally consider hard for me#is actually easier on me and my back and idk how to tell him that rn but 🤷🏻♀️ on the BRIGHT side of today i did see work crush when i went#work and he kinda said hi to me? so good day there love interacting w him. and manager told me that he can go ahead and get me certified to#drive the cart tuggers at work even tho he doesnt need another driver rn and thatll be SUPER helpful to me bc then whenever we DO need a new#driver ill be available and also i HAVE kinda driven one before and its kinda fun and thats the job i REALLY wanna do. easier on my body wit#hout giving up the schedule i have now or the people i work with. like thats my biggest reason for not wanting to apply for a different posi#tion is i LIKE the people i work with. theyre neat they like me too and if i got a different schedule or worked in a different area of the h#ub i wouldnt get to see them. and most of them i dont have their number or their social media so it’d be a complete loss. not crush bc ive g#ot him on fb!! but thats still not the same as seeing him 4 days a week huh#holy shit lotta tags
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