#house saying this to wilson during emergencies/fight

[bigtreefest]

Chapter 6: Storm Warning

From: The Rainmaker Series

Pairing: Mob! Steve x Forensic Scientist! Reader

Summary: You have the suspicions you tried to push down for so long, confirmed.

Word count: 4,446

Content/warnings: heavy drinking, kissing, flirting, nervousness, fighting, yelling, Sam Wilson, a switch flip, swears, ANGSTTT, betrayal?

Author’s Note: You guys know that vine where the surfer is making all those sounds talking about the crazy waves? That’s how I felt writing this. *wapahh*

Anyway, can’t wait for your feedback on this one. I’d love to hear what you’ve got to say. Feel free to drop and ask, or a comment, or a reblog!! Those are my life source.

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

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On Tuesday afternoon after work, you were excited to see Steve. And honestly, you hadn’t been this excited for anything in a long time. Giddy, almost, and it felt completely out of character. You were so used to your schedule and your normal obligations, that the things out of the ordinary seemed like such a burden, but this was anything but. You weren’t sure how everything felt like it changed so quickly.

You pulled up to a modern townhouse on the edge of the city in an unbelievably nice area. Sure, it was gorgeous, and evidently expensive, but its inconvenience led you to believe that this wasn’t Steve’s only place. He probably had a country home, and an apartment in the heart of town in addition to this. This place seemed too relaxed to be where someone who had such an insane schedule, from what you could draw, would live. And that’s the thing, it didn’t seem very lived-in from what you could see through the floor-to-ceiling windows that flanked the front door.

As you rang the bell, you almost expected a house cleaner, or a butler to come greet you, but instead, you saw Steve emerge from some distant hallway. He was in a leather jacket, with a deep blue collared shirt underneath, not dressed down, but not dressed up at all compared to what you’d usually seen him wear to work.

As he saw you though the glass, though, and smiled brightly, you weren’t able to return it, feeling something shift in the air behind you. You whipped around to see if anything was there, but you were just met with an empty street, filled only by cars on the quiet block. It was similar to how you’d been feeling for the past week or so, but every time you turned around, nothing was there, so you tried to brush it off.

By the time you went to face forward again, Steve was at the door, looking down to where you stood on the steps. You nervously smiled up at him as he gestured for you to come in.

He grabbed your bag from you, giving a side hug that squeezed your shoulders, along with a greeting of a kiss on the top of your head. “Welcome, sweetheart. I’d give you a tour, but there’s not really much on this level. All the good stuff is downstairs. I’ll show you where you can get changed if you want.

You nodded along, still in your pantsuit, the product of sitting in the courthouse for another case today. But it wasn’t all bad, because you got to briefly hang out with DA Barber. He let you walk around his office during breaks, looking through his knick knacks. You spoke to his admin, who for some reason had dozens of pens on hand, offering you as many as you wanted. Of course you took a bunch, picking out a particularly nice one for Steve and tucking it in your jacket pocket to give to him this evening.

You walked through the house with its tall ceilings, awe-struck at its simple beauty, despite how barren it seemed. That was only the front entry way, though, because Steve led you down a set of steps to a basement which he had finished and turned into what you assumed was his man cave. The walls were lined with art, interesting and intricate, yet surprisingly complementary to the dark tones that filled the space. In the middle, near a fully stocked bar, sat a pool table. It really was a nice little setup.

Steve stopped just before you got there, though, turning around and showing you where the bathroom was and leaving you to it.

It was a relief to be out of that blazer, and when you emerged from the restroom, you could see Steve had laid out a set of hangers for you so it didn’t get wrinkled. He was leaning up against the bar, ankles crossed across each other, sipping a glass of water.

“So can I get you anything? Water? Coffee? A cocktail? Dinner?”

You smiled and your eyes lit up. “Dinner?” He laughed and nodded, sauntering over to you and wrapping his arms around your waist as yours gravitated to his shoulders.

“Yeah, dinner. I’d say your favorite is already on the way, but I wanted to make sure you don’t get sick of it, so I figured I’d let you choose. Anything you want.”

He leaned in to press a quick peck to your lips that left you chasing for more, to which he happily obliged. You pulled away for breath, putting your forehead against his chest for a second to think. “Why don’t you surprise me. Something good. We’ll save the pasta for later this week. Maybe it can be road-trip food to take down to the farm. Bee will love it, too, I’m sure.”

He nodded, pulling out his phone to send in your surprise order, before walking back over to the bar and grabbing his beer, taking a sip and wordlessly offering you one, which you accepted. Before you took a sip, though, you remembered what you had brought him.

“Oh! By the way, I have something for you!” You went over to your bag, missing Steve’s surprised expression, but hearing a faint “oh?” followed by his footsteps in your direction.

You fished around, speaking over your shoulder intermittently. “It’s not much, but I figured since you sent me all those nice things the other week, that I should return the favor. Plus, I felt kinda bad for kicking you out of my apartment on Saturday.”

Steve set down his bottle, walking to your side when you finally found what you were looking for. “Ah! Here it is.”

When you stood, your face was almost right next to his, so you took half a step back, awkwardly shoving your hand between the two of you. “I got you a pen-But it’s uh… a really nice pen. One of those ones people use to sign official documents and stuff. I stole it from the DA’s office, so I guess it’s not an official gift, but I thought you would like it and I figured you do that kind of stuff a lot in day-to-day life, although I’m not really sure-“

You were cut off from your rambling by his hand over yours, accepting the present, and engulfing your digits in his. You took in a sharp gasp, looking between where the two of you met and his warm gaze.

“Thank you, Sweetheart. I really appreciate it. No matter where you got it.”

You tried to force yourself to swallow, your mouth growing dry at the contact. Even though you had kissed, something about this moment had seemed more intimate than before. You raised your other hand, bracing it against his chest because you were worried that if you didn’t, your jello arm would drop, pulling the rest of your body along with it. “And, um. A deck of cards. I got you a really nice deck of cards. Professional grade.”

You could feel the puff of air that came from his breathy laugh as his other hand came up to meet yours. “Thank you. This really wasn’t necessary, but I love it.” You simply nodded and pushed yourself away from him, trying to break the moment. Sure, you loved being that close, and you couldn’t have gotten a better response, but it was a lot to take in.

You turned around to get out of your own head and attempt to regain some logic since your mind had almost gone empty right there. “So…um..pool, right? You think you can beat me?”

You had pulled in on yourself, arms close to your chest, but pointing toward the table, as you finally brought your body to turn around again and face Steve. You were met with a view of his broad back, carefully setting your gifts on a shelf and reaching for the cues.

“You know, now that I know what your nickname means, I’m not sure. It’s my understanding that you’re far better than you let on and you were keeping it a secret.”

Somehow he had already put you at ease again. He walked past you, towards a brick pillar off to the side of the room to grab the rest of the equipment you needed to start. You rolled your eyes, shifting your feet so you continued to face him. “I wasn’t keeping anything a secret. I just don’t blab about that stuff. And to be fair, you never asked me.”

Steve shrugged as he handed you the cue. “I guess you’re right. And you wouldn’t be mad at me either, for not telling you something you didn’t ask specifically, right?”

That was weird. Was there something he wasn’t telling you? Your eyebrows went from relaxed, to drawn inward with suspicion. “Well, it depends on the thing, I guess…”

You tried to brush it off, and it helped that Steve did, too. Maybe he was just curious and had some sort of surprise planned. Or maybe it was something else, but the way he quickly moved onto the next subject helped you to do the same, as you started the first round.

Steve had let you break to start out, which led to your immediate win. He had a smile laced with several emotions all at once as he watched you move with grace, confidence, and ease around the table. By the time you were starting the second game, Steve breaking this time, you heard someone walking down the stairs. It would’ve concerned you that someone random was in his home if Steve wasn’t acting so casual about it.

“Ah, that must be Sam with dinner. Bar food for the bar mood. I hope you like fries.”

Just then, the figure emerged from the staircase, wearing a suit. Figures. He made a beeline for you, reaching out your hand and shaking it. “Hi, you must be Decks. It’s so nice to meet you. I’m Sam. I was at the farm all those weeks ago, but I’m sorry we didn’t get to cross paths.”

You shook his hand happily before he asked to pull Steve aside for a moment. He seemed really nice, and who could complain about someone who appeared to be a friend, bearing food?

You took the opportunity to open the paper bag, setting everything out on the bar, fries packaged separately from a plethora of toppings to stay crispy. How thoughtful. You began your snacking before Steve came back.

He returned with a feigned offended look on his face. “So, what? I leave for a second and you’ve already started without me? How’s that fair?”

You laughed and looked at him, fry sticking out of your mouth like a cigarette, simply shrugging until he surprised you by jumping forward and chomping off the other end of the fry, cutting it short.

If you weren’t so focused on not losing what bit was left in your mouth, your jaw would’ve dropped in shock. Steve carried on like almost nothing had happened and picked up his cue again, speaking with his mouth half full. “So it’s my turn still, right?”

The games continued on like that, you and Steve going back and forth on who started, taking shots with fries hanging out of your mouths, and you still winning effortlessly. But as the night went on, though, Steve seemed to be getting more focused on the game. He paid more attention to the angle of your shots, and was almost rooting for you to be better than him with a weird seriousness to it. It wasn’t really fun anymore, or at least the excitement seemed like it was starting to fade for some odd reason. He didn’t try to make any more moves on you, instead letting you be in your zone, making you feel like this was hardly a date anymore. It got to the point where he, rejoined by Sam, was just watching, beer long abandoned to sober up and focus. You’d just about had enough of it. Something wasn’t being spoken out into the open air. After this evaluation, you decided to run an experiment. To see if your hunch was right. On what should’ve been an easy shot, you instead moved an inch to the side, and sunk the 8 ball into the pocket before you were supposed to do. The tension in the room got worse and you could audibly hear Steve wince with a soft “shit.”

You turned around at that. You were right. Something was off about this whole thing.

“Okay, what is going on? Ever since I got here, you’ve been going through waves of being so serious, but that was the last nail in the coffin. I thought it was just because we were both nervous for my first time being at your place, but this is much more than that. I’m sure of it. So tell me what it is. Why are you pushing so hard for me to win?”

Steve couldn’t take his eyes off the ground, rubbing the back of his neck. Sam straightened in a bar stool next to him, his eyes roaming everywhere, not wanting to linger on you and the fire raising in your expression. This isn’t how Steve wanted this to go, but you knew too well something was up. He still stayed silent.

“Steve, why do we have to go back to the farm this weekend and why do I have to practice? Why is Bee not returning my calls, either? What’s riding on this game? Why is it such a big deal? And what do you have to do with this? Why are you so personally invested?”

Steve still didn’t say anything, finally daring himself to look up and into your eyes through his lashes. His expression was troubled. He started to open his mouth, but nothing came out. Suddenly it was all dry from your rage. This was his worst fear, well, besides the unspeakable things Lloyd might have planned if you lost. You were getting impatient, though. Even when Steve wasn’t smooth, he would still talk to you. Talking was something you thought the two of you did pretty well, but apparently not right now.

“Steven. Words!”

Steve let out a sigh, signaling for Sam to give the two of you the room. There was no escaping this now. He’d pushed the limit on the timeframe he had to tell you the truth. “Listen, Sweetheart. You’re right. There’s… a lot… you should know, that I haven’t told you, so let me start at the beginning.”

You didn’t have time for him to try and sugarcoat this. You wanted the whole truth and you wanted it now. And so help you if there was something going on that you weren’t aware about, that was causing you issues you could’ve prevented, someone was getting the brunt of it.

You dropped your cue on the table, stomping over to the beer fridge and grabbing another bottle, hell, why not two, and storming towards a comfy leather chair, throwing yourself down and crossing your legs. “Go on, Stevie. Speak.”

Normally, he would’ve been elated to hear you call him that, but it was nowhere near the tender manner he was hoping you’d use the first time. It was bitter, and biting, and he hadn’t even said anything yet. This was not going to go well.

He sighed and started, eyes on you as if he was trying not to spook a wounded animal, but you were already worse than spooked, you were angry. And no physical wound could hurt more than the distrust you were feeling right now.

“I guess I’ll start with what you already know. You know Bucky and I work with and own a lot of businesses. And you know that Bee’s farm is one of the ones we’re working with, and Bee’s been facing a lot of pressure from Cole lately to sell the farm.”

You nodded along, chugging down your beer and slamming it on the coffee table next to you, ditching the second bottle in favor of something stronger. You walked back over to the bar, not sparing Steve a glance, as you pulled the rolling ladder over to grab the bottle of Macallan off the shelf. You didn’t care what year it was. You just knew it was expensive, and he owed you at least this much after lying.

You stepped back down, deciding to forego a glass, and walked to your seat again, finally looking into his eyes. “Okay, now tell me what I don’t know.”

He hated how hard your eyes had become. How they’d grown dull already where they used to have a sparkle when they reflected his face. “The businesses that Bucky and I run… not all of them are legal. A few of them run outside the law, and at first, it was just because that’s how we were brought up, but we realized that we could change things, so we did.”

You took a swig from the bottle. You did not like where this was going. Steve fidgeted with the pool cue still standing in his hands.

“We were raised in a certain way, to be cutthroat, and unrelenting, and aggressive. Ready to serve our superiors, because that’s what we had to do to survive. To provide for our struggling families. And we were good at it. We were good at following orders, and playing the system, so it put us in leadership at a pretty young age. It seemed like the right thing, especially once both our parents were gone. But as time went on, we saw how damaging what we did could be, and wanted to fix it. Except there were some people who didn’t feel the same way. Some people who were simply power and money hungry and didn’t care who they were hurting. In specific, this one guy named Lloyd.”

You kept nodding along, getting slightly dizzy from the straight alcohol hitting you, and not expecting the lore to go this deep. You thought it could’ve been something more minor. Maybe Steve was in the witness protection program or something, because that could’ve been better than this trip of an explanation.

“Lloyd was a friend of ours, along with his sister. And Bucky was especially close with her. But they both left to go off to college, and we were really proud of them, but when they came back, they were different. Aggressive, uncaring for quality of goods, money hungry. Lillian, Lloyd’s sister became a huge lawyer, used to do his dirty business bidding, and Lloyd tried to start from the ground up, stepping on the territory Bucky and I fixed and taking advantage of people already in terrible positions. We don’t do what he does. We regulate things so people like him don’t take over. And we collected a lot of allies and truly good businesses along the way to help out with keeping the other side under wraps.”

You rolled your eyes waving your hand signaling that he was going on and on and on. “Okay, so you’re a criminal. What does this have to do with my best friend’s farm? And why I’m here right now, evidently practicing pool like my life depends on it?”

He rubbed a hand down his face, looking past you, over your shoulder, and out the window at the far end of the room. “Our business with Bee isn’t on the legal side. It’s on the other one. And it wasn’t until a few weeks in or so that we saw Lloyd was connected with Cole. So we were getting harassed from both ends. From Lloyd on our end, and Cole on hers. I assume she hasn’t been telling you this, but Cole’s been on her ass since Bucky left, and Lloyd has been on ours for months. Bee made a bet to end it for once and for all. A single game of pool. Winner takes all. Friends and family only, no pros, and she wants you to play for her side. She hasn’t been picking up your calls because I told her not to. I wanted the chance to lay this all out on the table for you. So you’d hear it from me. I know you’re a woman of the law, and I work outside it a lot, so I understand if you’re upset about that.”

You clenched your jaw, and if you did it any harder, your teeth might’ve broken. Your breaths were heaving out of flared nostrils. You took another sip, trying to find the proper way to reply to all of this, but your brain was too fuzzed for that. And it’s not like you would’ve wanted to do the right thing even if you were thinking clearly. Yelling seemed like a good option right now.

“Are you fucking kidding me!? She bet the farm on this game!? And you’re what? A crime lord!? But that’s not even what I’m the most mad about. You lied to me Steve. I trusted you and I gave you my time and I let you in easily to see things no one else does, and you lied.”

You tried to stand up, but were becoming too dizzy to do so. You were humbled, only briefly, so you asked another, softer question. “So what really is even your job then? Who are you and Bucky exactly?”

Steve put his pool cue back. “Bucky’s the boss.”

“And you?”

“Second in command.”

“And what’s Sam?”

“Number three.”

You nodded, yelling to Sam who you could still see standing on the staircase, listening to the whole thing.

“Hey! Number three! Can you bring me more fries from over there?”

Sam looked between you and Steve and Steve nodded, a solemn look on his face, letting Sam run over to the bar, and bring you the rest of the basket of fries. Once you’d had your fill, and the carbs soaked up some of the alcohol, you stood up, staring Steve down.

“Okay, fine. Since everyone thought they were best to make decisions regarding my own life, and make stupid ones in theirs without consulting me, I’ll give. You want me to practice more pool? I’ll practice. Rack ‘em.”

Steve wanted to tell you this wasn’t necessary. That he’d made a mistake. That you’ve proven yourself enough and that he was sorry, but his mouth was paralyzed. He believed that the best thing right now was just to give into whatever you needed to stay sane.

You broke the balls with more force than necessary, already getting a striped ball in a pocket, then kept making shots, not missing a single one. You called the eight ball to the far corner pocket before sinking it easily, even drunk off your ass.

“There. Happy? I won’t screw this up. So you can see I’ll do my best to make sure our friend keeps her farm and you get your little business deals to stay protected. I’ll see you on Saturday, tell Gio I’ll be waiting for him outside my apartment, and then hopefully, after I do my job, you and I won’t need to see each other… never again.”

Steve stood with his eyes focusing on you, yet he was zoned out. He should’ve told you sooner. He should’ve seen this all coming from waiting too long. What was worse than you finding out? You getting hurt. And he did that. He hurt you. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if something happened to you because your guard was down because you didn’t know your true proximity to everything, but now that you did, he could see a thousand ways that it would’ve all gone smoother if he would’ve just been honest from the beginning.

You stormed across the basement, back towards where Sam was, and tossed him your keys. “You’re driving me home, Three.”

He followed you out the door, and you didn’t even care that you left your work clothes, and Steve, behind.

Sam drove you home like a chauffeur, after you insisted on getting on the back seat so you could lay down. Now was as good of a time as ever to try calling Bee again, and this time, she finally picked up.

“Hey, Decks. How did your date with Steve go? He told me you were coming over tonight.” Even in your state, you could sense the caution in her tone.

“It was fucking awful, but I think you know that. I can’t believe you lied to me, too. Some guy I just met is one thing, but my best friend is another. And on top of that, I can’t believe you were stupid enough to make this big of a bet and put it on my shoulders.”

She simply hummed. She could probably tell you were drunk, she was one of the few to have seen it this bad before. She sighed before giving her response. “You know me. And you know I wouldn’t have made this sort of a deal if it wasn’t necessary. If I wasn’t desperate. But I’m not worried.”

She was silent for a second, but you let her be. She was gathering the right thing to say, and anything you wanted to throw in that free space would’ve made things worse.

“Decks, no one I know is better than you. When it comes to you as a person and you playing pool. And plus, it’s not like he can bring a pro or even semi-pro to come beat you. You’ve got this in the bag, knock on wood, and I hoped you would understand. The bet and the business.”

You sighed. You wanted to be snarky and mean, but she was just so logical, and you knew how grounded she was with that heart of gold and shit. She was the one who always shared reason with you. But it still didn’t excuse how reckless this all felt.

“Bee, using this skill to swindle people out of a couple bucks hardly counts as being good enough to save your legacy. That farm is your life. I have no quantification of the probability of my win, but I’ll do my best, I guess. I’m getting really tired, now, so I’m gonna let you go, and you and I can talk about your poor taste in men and this little lying streak of yours later.”

And with that, you hung up the phone and the world went black.

Next >

Bonus A/N: Another vine reference: Did you guys [read] that? I’m really scared.

Taglist: @evie-119 @hawkeyes-queen @ronearoundblindly @thedonswife13

[bam-bi-buck]

8x04 SPOILERS

Buck 🥰

Gerrard 🤢

Excuse me, that is not Buck’s job, you can’t ask him to choose someone to fire, are you out of your mind?

Love Athena not liking the houses lol

“I’ll know it when I see it”

Bleh, Ortiz for Mayor 🤢

“Who loves being a public servant?”

Everyone reluctantly rasing their hands lol

“Love the enthusiasm” what do you mean Gerrard, you’ve made the firehouse such a lovely place to work

Body cams??

Mama: “bet I know who put the order for that”

Why do you keep saying tight end?

Don’t call him 🥺 Wes needs a hug

Oh Eddie 😭

Wes no!! 😭

Wes you better not die!!! It’s not allowed!!!

I genuinely have no thoughts during this ambulance ride other than aaaaaaaahhhhh

The way Eddie cheers then the soft “you’re gonna be okay kid,” after he called him Dad 😭

“Hell of a save”

“And you got us here”

Love when they all cheer each other

Hen’s speech 😭

But also don’t name drop her girl, that’s such a risk in court

The look of devastation on Karen’s face

Noooo 💔💔💔

No contact why???

This judge sucks

“911 what’s you’re emergency” love Maddie

Also this totally took me out of the scene for a sec, is there something on Maddie’s nose, does she have a nose piercing?

Am I seeing things?

Anyways I’m gonna fight Ortiz and this judge whatever her name is

“I don’t want another house, I want my house” 🥺

Aww Michael name drop

lol how many greats are you gonna say there Bobby?

Hen at Ortiz’s office 😭

“I’m expected to go on, maybe young Mara will have to learn to do the same”

Bitch

“He is not my captain you are my captain”

Yes Hen!!

Love them all coming to Bobby

Bobby’s face when Buck said Gerrard was touching him

Cue the “No, my boy” audio bit

At least we learned that Eddie’s having regular zooms with Chris, even if he’s not talking much in them

Chimney talking about Gerrard’s Ego feels important, they’re gonna use that against him aren’t they?

That’s mean Chimney (his comment about Buck not Gerrard - say all the mean things about Gerrard Chim)

“I wouldn’t call it an attack”

As the nurse is putting bandages all over him 🤣

DUDE

“He wasn’t 400 pounds when I got him, he was an adorable cub”

My mama “well guess what dumbass they get bigger”

“Where’d you learn to do that?”

“I have layers” 🤣

The cat jumps up

Mama: “Surprise!”

No pets

Yeah, wild tigers would fall under that policy, wouldn’t they?

Hen & Chim being separated + Buck & Eddie being separated feels wrong but I love when Buck & Hen get to work together, love the looks they share

“Not so loud the rest of the team thinks it’s an essemble”

“He’s the voice of god around here”

“No not a fan” “That’s Brad Torrence” 🤣

Bobby!!!

“I’m telling you who you should get rid of- yourself!!!

It’s all about his Ego!!!!

I see the pieces!!!

LOVE Bobby scheming

“I’m a dad who doesn’t live under the same roof as his son”

Eddie 😭

Wanna shake Wes’s dad

Gerrard going to Ortiz after talking to Bobby, Bobby charmed… (well maybe Brad did lol) him, didn’t he?

“You know Vincent, we’re a lot alike,”

My mama “jackasses?”

22 million budget reductions for the LAFD seems like a lot

Like for the FD specifically

You’d think you’d want them funded in particular

Excuse me sir

Is there a reason you called her Miss?

Mama: “Oh did the other jackass help? Now I feel bad”

Me: “Don’t feel bad, he’s still a jackass”

“This is a set up”

“It sure as hell is”

A team that schemes together, stays together!!!

Eddie helping Wes 😭

Mara gets to go home!!!! 😭😭😭😭

“Let’s build something new, something just for us” awww 🥰

Welcome back cap poster!!!

“The man the myth the legend” 🤣

I actually don’t mind him being at the Hot Shots job, as long as he isn’t in the 118!!!

HALLOWEEN EPISODE

There goes everyone’s “Bucks the one with a pumpkin on his head” theories lol

Denny!!! No!!! What the hell!!!

Give the Wilsons’ a break, my god!

[boytoykevinday]

best stucky fic recs pwease

Okay, disclaimer, these are all like five+ years old (which is the best Stucky era, imo) and definitely not the only ones I enjoy; these are just a few in my bookmarks on ao3.

In no particular order besides the order I bookmarked them and under a read more because there's a shit ton of them (really, it's a lot):

- hold me until we crumble; Not Rated, 23k

“Sam told me you were watching Antiques Roadshow,” Natasha says, shaking out her hair. “I assumed it was a national emergency.”

- despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained); Explicit, 72k

“They really didn’t want the mask to come off.” Hill thumbed through the scans, and pulled out a film that she then handed over to Sam, face mostly expressionless but for the flat line of her pursed lips.

Sam accepted the film and held it up to the light, angling so both he and Steve could see it, squinting at the outline of the Winter Soldier’s skull, and the blips of unnatural white that showed up, God, in his brain, not to mention about half his teeth, plus the mask, with its thin protrusions—

“Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.”

Hill’s face was as unmoved as ever. “Like I said. They really didn’t want it coming off.”

- family means no one gets left behind or forgotten; Teen, 11k

“Why did you think I wouldn’t like you for being gay?” Steve asks gently.

“You’re Captain America.” Eli’s got his teeth clenched and is resolutely looking ahead. “You stand for truth and justice and the American way. You stand for American morals. You stand for…” he shrugs awkwardly. “Not people like me.”

Steve blows the air out of his cheeks slowly, trying to figure out how to keep the anger out of his voice so Eli doesn’t think it’s at him.

Or, Steve comes to terms with his new world, and gains some children in the process.

- Mistake on the Part of Nature; Teen, 1.3k

Steve takes in Bucky's betrayed look and Sam's confusion, follows Sam's gaze to the pile of mangled fruit in the trash can. Sudden comprehension fills his face.

"Oh," he says. "Bucky found out about bananas."

In which an American icon is mourned. But probably not the one you're thinking of.

- Swear Jar; Teen, 1.5k

Bucky isn't the only troll in the future.

OR

Steve has a Swear Jar and he makes the Avengers pay up every time they cuss.

- Barnes & Rogers and the Goddamn Truth; Not Rated, 19k

There are three well-known facts at Shield High:

1. The history teacher Mr. Barnes is a stone-cold terror, and it’s not even because he only has one arm. 2. The other history teacher, Mr. Rogers, is a mysterious enigma, and it’s something to do with the body of a Greek God and contradicting stories of his past. (They’re all rumours, anyway.) 3. Mr Barnes and Mr Rogers hate each other.

Bucky wouldn’t have it any other way.

- perfectly right wrong number; Teen, 32k

It all starts because Steve is too dumb to handle his smartphone.

A wrong number AU in which Bucky Barnes doesn't enter Steve's life (meaning: Bucky wasn't born until the eighties, but Steve is still Captain America) until Steve accidentally dials the wrong number. Wherein there is a lot of texting, some advice via Natasha and Darcy, a bit of pining, and a first date in an amusement park. Oh, and on top of being a disabled veteran, Bucky is a professional catwalker. Literally.

- The power of the right shirt (a.k.a. God bless America); Teen, 1.2k

"He just…" Phil trails off, mouth gaping. He is staring at the field outside the house, eyes glazed.

Clint sighs. "Yeah, he just ripped a log in two with his bare hands."

- To fill it up with something; Teen, 21k

A fateful encounter with Dr. Strange leaves the Winter Soldier transformed, and Bucky Barnes reunites with Steve Rogers in a most unexpected way.

“Steve brings the puppy inside, into the apartment that doesn't quite feel like home no matter how much he's been trying. He isn't used to being alone. Before the war, he always had Bucky, and his mother until her death. During the war, Bucky was there, too—and the rest of the Howlers, of course—but Bucky always meant home. (And well, maybe Steve's already got a name for the puppy in mind)."

- build it bigger than the sun; Teen, 10k

“Yeah, because nothing says heteronormative like living in Dupont Circle for two years and wearing skin-tight shirts to hit on hot airmen when you go running in the morning.”

“Look, I know you’re being sarcastic but I really don’t get how no one picked up on that.”

Steve and Bucky try to work out their relationship. The Avengers keep getting in the way.

- Memories Circle (Like Birds of Prey), Teen, 32k

Everything seems to be going right, Steve's fighting with his Commandos, they've saving lives-- until Steve falls from a train, is taken prisoner, and turned into the Winter Soldier. Meanwhile, Bucky takes up Steve's mantle as Captain America, and thanks to Zola's experiments, he gets dropped into a whole new time, only to cross paths with a Steve who doesn't know who he is anymore.

Essentially, the events of CA:TFA, mild mentioning of Avengers, and CA:TWS but with Steve as the Winter Soldier and Bucky as Captain America

- The Gentleness That Comes; Mature, 9k

Steve Rogers never really views the things he had to do to get by before the War with any sort of shame or embarrassment. People ask him for his opinions on modern issues in interviews, but Steve has gotten good at talking around those types of questions. Fury insists that there's no way to answer them without casting a shadow of controversy across the reputation of the Avengers, and that's the last thing Steve wants.

But then a sex tape is released featuring Tony Stark in bed with another man, and Steve can't stay quiet any longer.

- salt for the sea; Mature, 7.5k

Natasha comes home with intel regarding the fate of the Winter Soldier; Steve leaves to go and avenge Bucky Barnes.

“It's a list of everyone who was involved in his death, and a rough timeline of everything that happened beforehand,” she tells him.

“And the notebook?”

“I explained what they did,” Natasha says, “The blank pages are for you to explain what you do to them.”

- Lone Cat and Samurai; Teen, 8.4k

"We lost Kitten America sir!" Junior Agent blurted out. Then turned an unlovely shade of purple. "I mean, Captain America. Who’s a kitten. Because magic. Sir."

- Waiting To Prove You're Not Alone; Explicit, 41k

Months after he woke up on the banks of the Potomac, when a reporter mistakenly assumes Steve would disapprove of homosexuality being as accepted as it is in the modern day, Steve accidentally snaps and unleashes his real opinion on the matter... and with that, a secret he's hidden for over eighty years.

When that secret comes looking for him in New York, Steve can only hope that he can get a second chance at saving his best friend, even if it means keeping his heart in check.

“Yeah, back in my day it wasn't tolerated, and because of that I knew from the minute I figured it out, that I’d never get to tell my best friend that I loved him, and sure enough, he died without knowing that I’d been in love with him for a decade."

- I'm Not Sick (But I'm Not Well); Mature, 30k

Steve Rogers doesn’t meet Bucky Barnes in the 1930’s. Instead, Steve meets him April 17th, 2012.

Well…sort of meets him.

In actuality, Bucky had almost hit him with his truck.

Or: The fic where millennial Bucky Barnes nearly runs over a freshly thawed national treasure, and what Steve Rogers did to adjust to modern NYC during those two weeks before the events of The Avengers.

- pure as the driven slush; Explicit, 11k

He should have worked it out sooner. But then, Steve always was a sneaky little bastard—had to have been, just to survive this long.

For the SteveBucky Fest prompt, "Steve is quite experienced while Bucky's never gone beyond second base with anyone".

- Let's Be Exposed and Unprotected, Explicit, 5k

Bucky’s pretty sure he should be into getting fucked through the floor while walls explode around him like in that Mr and Mrs Smith movie that Clint loves. But he likes it like this. He likes being on his back with Steve looming above him, big and naked, blocking out the rest of the world.

- Man of Steel; Explicit, 6.7k

It’s like Steve looked at his metal arm and thought ‘Challenge Accepted.’

- 5 Times Steve Got Arrested and 1 Time They All Did; Teen, 4.9k

What it says, 5 times Steve Rogers ended up in jail (with and without Bucky) + 1 time all of the Avengers got arrested with him.

- the best of you; Teen, 16k

Bucky is on a mission when he gets the call.

They tell him that Steve has been compromised.

[The story wherein Hydra captures Steve to create a new weapon. Bucky, alongside the rest of the Avengers, come together and work through the fallout.]

- pull apart the dark; Teen, 79k

Steve's unending faith in his best friend was beginning to look less like hope and more like fantasy. When they'd caught the Soldier – in a fire fight that still gave Sam nightmares – the only thing the man seemed to recall was how to hit exactly where it hurt.

Four months later, Barnes still refused to speak English. Refused to heed anything but Steve's voice.

So, all in all, it was not a great time for Hydra to attack New York. All in all, Sam really wished they'd just killed him, instead of turning Captain America into a baby.

- Not Another Supersoldier Fantasy; Explicit, 8.9k

Bucky finds a popular sex toy modeled on Captain America's own anatomy. Well, isn't this just perfect? Because even after all this time, he still hasn’t seen Steve’s supersoldier cock. But apparently in this day and age anyone with $29.95 can get a decent replica. The unfairness of this is of galactic proportions.

- the blood of the covenant; Teen, 7.5k

Steve has a "thing" for hot water.

Or, Sam Wilson adopts Steve Rogers.

- Mighty like Love, Mighty like Sorrow; Teen, 19k

After freeing himself from the Russians' mind control, Bucky is left at loose ends, drifting through the decades. Still, he's in no hurry to take up Nick Fury's offer to once again fight the good fight -- especially not when Fury has the nerve to put some imposter in his best friend's old suit and send him out to fight against Chitauri.

- Read Me Like a Book; Gen, 1.5k

In which Bucky accidentally becomes a book collector, because when the universe gives you a million biographies about your boyfriend, you go bookcase shopping. And then he finds out about The Grenade Incident, and the boys actually talk about it like actual adults. (Somewhere, Sam sheds a proud tear.)

- the broadest stroke of color; Gen, 16k

Sarah Rogers always loved Steve's hands.

"Your hands will do a lifetime's work," she'd say. "Remember to do the work you can for those you love."

Almost a century later, Steve does just that.

[The story wherein Steve draws comics for Bucky to help him recover his memory. Through a series of events, the issues are leaked, and Steve finds himself reviving the Captain America comics. He still isn't sure how that happened.]

- If You're Loved By Someone (You're Never Rejected); Teen, 9.4k

You’re fifteen when you realize why you stare at Bucky’s lips more than normal when he laughs and when he says your name. You lean into his shoulder when you walk next to him and when you’re sick you don’t fight off his soft hands. You tease him, he teases back and being around him is so easy you forget what it was like to live without him. You can’t remember life pre-Bucky and it scares you.

- Unusual Weather; Explicit, 8.7k

Bucky’s been at the Avengers Tower for three weeks before he finally gives in to Steve’s gentle coaxing and Stark’s cheerful waving of fistfuls of circuits, and lets them scan the arm.

It doesn’t go well.

- this city bleeds its aching heart; Explicit, 35k

The one where Steve and Bucky pose as a happily married couple while on a mission for SHIELD, to catch an international arms dealer hiding in a suburban neighbourhood.

- Good Boy; Explicit, 13k

Bucky is still adjusting to life with the Avengers, and Steve is willing to do whatever it takes to make him feel comfortable. Increasingly, though, what seems to make him comfortable is strangely intimate.

Surprise, Steve! You're a gentle dom and Bucky wants to be your pretty pet!

- Brooklyn; Teen, 8.8k

"Captain America, what's your stance on gay marriage?"

Everyone knows that, by now. Everyone but Bucky.

[holylulusworld]

Obedient

Request: A/B/O dynamic, where omega! reader just agrees to everything her Alpha (Bucky) says, no matter how embarrassing or humiliating it is. Arranged marriage set up. Please.... Huge fan of your angsts. (He's embarrassing her on perpose, because he just doesn't like her at all. But omega! reader is just so docile and just won't talk back cuz she's raised like that. I think AU would be better, but I'll let you decide that. Happy ending. You are great. Thank you so much.)

Pairing: Alpha!Mobster!Bucky x Omega!Reader

Characters: Alpha!Steve x Omega!Peggy, Omega!Natasha Romanoff x Alpha!Clint Barton Bruce Banner, Brock Rumlow (oh look he’s not the bad guy this time), Sam Wilson 

Warnings: angst, humiliation, degrading, collars, obedient omega, starving, implied smut, snippets of smut, heat, pain, abusive relationship, arranged marriage, shitty parents, medical treatments, Bucky being a shitty partner and asshole, suicidal tendency (I think?), mentions of violence, mentions of biting

Words: 2,8 k

A/N: This one took me ages as it was out of my comfort zone to write Bucky as an abusive alpha. Honestly, I was tempted to let Steve rip him apart limp by limp, but I saw this one as a challenge. I left the ending open as I could not write it as a happy ending, not with the way he treated her. Sorry.

Please be aware of the trigger warnings and do not proceed if any warning offends you! This is a warning not an advertisement!

Steve feels uncomfortable, just like Peggy when you kneel next to your husband or rather master as he likes to be called by you.

While Peggy uncomfortably shifts in her seat, tries to not glance at you kneel next to Bucky in your underwear wearing a collar calling you slut, Steve glares at his friend.

“What the fuck, Bucky! I thought you wanted to introduce your wife and mate to us, not embarrass her,” Steve finally grits out. He may be a mobster, a hard man on the outside but Steve never liked alphas treating their mate like a piece of meat.

“I did, Stevie,” Bucky pats his thigh and you sit on his lap, not meeting Peggy nor Steve’s eyes.

You should protest, scream at the way your husband treats you but raised to an obedient omega who gets punished for misbehavior you hold back the tears and swallow the tiny amount of pride you had left.

“This is bullshit, James,” Peggy angrily tosses her napkin onto the table when Bucky pushes you off his lap. He even tosses food to your feet, smirking as he simply has to snap his fingers to make you eat the food.

“That is enough, Bucky,” Steve gets up to pull his wife’s chair, holding out his hand. “I know you like to be the dominant part like to show your power but treating your mate like a dog doesn’t make you a tough man,” Steve grits his teeth, looking at you with pitiful eyes, “it makes you look pathetic.”

“I didn’t want to marry her, Steve,” pointing toward you Bucky scrunches up his nose. “Look at that pathetic little omega eating food from the floor like a dog.”

“Steve, I want to go, now,” Peggy already walks toward the door, giving you a sympathetic look before she backhands Bucky.

“She may not fight back but I am telling you that she deserves better than being forced to bear you and your behavior,” inhaling sharply Steve watches Peggy slap his friend’s cheek again. “You are the lousiest alpha I ever met, James Buchanan Barnes, you make me sick.”

Steve nods in agreement, not meeting his friend’s eyes he sighs deeply. “I thought you are a better man, Bucky. I’ll need a few days or weeks without you. Call Sam or Clint of you need anything.”

The moment the door slams shut Bucky falls onto the chair. He does not recognize you didn’t eat the food or that you suppressed desperate whimpers.

“Great, you ruined the dinner too,” Bucky spats. “Get up, on the bed and present. I will fuck my frustration out before I hit the club to meet a real woman.”

It’s always rough, fast, and without any pleasure for you. “At least you are a good fuck,” pushing off you Bucky slaps your ass, smirking as you dare not to move. “On your place, leave my bed.”

You hurry to leave the bed to lie on the tiny mattress he placed in front of the large window. All you own is a blanket and a pillow, so you cover your bruised body with the blanket to hide your face in the pillow.

“Next time, you’ll look happy,” Nodding you try not to anger your alpha. Your father’s strong hand, the conditioning on turning you into a perfect obedient omega do not leave any room for arguments. “I’ll be back in a few hours; you will stay like this.”

“Great you come to movie night,” Bucky exclaims. He is in a good mood. The last deal with Rumlow was a success and now he wants to watch a classic movie with Clint and Natasha who look at each other, not daring to say a word.

“What? Does she disturb you?” Natasha eyes you warily. She can see the sadness behind the fake smile while you kneel next to Bucky, not daring to move a muscle as you try to hide your pain. “She can go.”

“Steve wasn’t joking,” Clint finally chokes out. “I thought that you had a fight or something and that he told us you forced your wife to kneel on the floor during dinner was a bad joke.”

“I want to go, now,” Natasha will not stay any longer in the room watching you suffer. “Let the poor girl sleep, James. She looks like she’s about to pass out any minute.”

“Did you ever treat the girl with kindness, Bucky?” Clint can’t believe the man who used to be his paragon treats his wife like that. “I have to agree with Steve, this is just not right. Arranged marriage or not, Y/N is a human being.”

“Asshole,” Natasha adds walking toward the door, not waiting for her mate. “I’ll find a way to help the poor girl. I’ll call her parents.”

“What the fuck do you mean with that’s her purpose?” Steve balls his hands into fists, glaring at your father. “He’s treating your daughter like a dog and you have the guts to tell me that’s what you want?”

“She got raised to become an obedient omega, Mr. Rogers,” your father explains, not intimidated by Steve’s demeanor. “James wanted an obedient omega, he got one. Everyone is happy.”

“Everyone but your daughter,” Natasha grits out while Peggy tries to talk to your mother. “Mrs. Y/L/N, please. We need to find a way to get Y/N out of the cycle of obedience. She looks sick, thin, and sad.”

“She will not answer you, omega scum,” your father dares to say and Steve’s hand twitches. “Now out of my house and stop acting as if it’s a crime to treat an omega as she deserves.”

Steve must hold Natasha back, grabbing her wrist carefully as she was about to slap your father’s face.

“Don’t, Nat. You know he has enough power to let all of us disappear. I just thought the great Y/F/N is a better man, someone to look up,” Steve shakes his head. “You’re all the same…”

“Any ideas?” Peggy sighs looking at Clint who tries to find anything in the papers your father signed to seal your fate. “Clint?”

“Nothing, Peg’s,” Clint sighs deeply. “The contract, the papers, and marriage are ironclad. There is nothing I could do.”

“This can’t be true, alpha,” Natasha looks over her mates’ shoulder, sighing as he points at the papers. “There is nothing we can do to help her?”

“We could just kidnap, Y/N,” silence fills the room as Steve quirks a brow at Sam who was silent the whole time. “Sam, anything from you?”

“I still got the keycard to his house,” Sam steps closer to the table now, looking at the papers. “We go in, get the girl, and are out without Bucky noticing us. Of course, someone needs to lure him and his men out,” Sam ends his plan and Steve nods, liking the idea.

“Alright, it’s settled then,” Steve clears his throat, pointing toward Rumlow who watched the scene, an amused smirk on his lips. “Will you help us or just grin like the cat that got the cream?”

“I hate to admit I like your plan, Wilson,” Brock smirks, eying Natasha’s ass shamelessly. “I like omegas, like when they are soft and obedient just like I love a feisty wildcat scratching my ass,” now he gets up to crack his neck. “But I do not like someone treating an omega like a dog. Let us fuck Barnes over.”

“We got a problem,” Rumlow whispers watching the guards open the gate to let Peggy in. “According to my information, Barnes is out of the house for at least three days. No reason for me to lure him out. What’s with the plan now?”

“They let Peggy in, Brock. Don’t pee your pants yet,” Sam muses pointing toward Peggy walking into Bucky’s house. “She’ll fake an emergency, the guards will check on her, while Steve, Clint, and Natasha will use the back entrance to get Y/N out.”

“Shit did Barnes make her kneel next to the table and dropped food on her,” Brock blinks as Sam reluctantly nods. “Such an asshole calling me a jerk. Who fucked with Barnes's brain, dude?”

“Can you not talk the whole time,” Steve groans via intercom. “I can hear you the whole time. Check on the guards and Peggy. Tell us when it’s time to,” Sam yells ‘now’ and Steve picks the lock to sneak into Bucky’s house.

“Y/N, hello,” Natasha can smell your distress before she can see your weak form. Lie on the makeshift nest on the ground you shake in pain. “Fuck, Steve she’s in heat. God, we need to get Barnes.”

“No,” it is a silent whimper leaving your lips when you shake your head until you feel dizzy. “He’ll not help me, refuses to knot me,” close to drifting into unconsciousness you give Natasha a weak smile. “Let me die, please. I don’t want to live like that, but I do not know anything else.”

Tears spill out of your eyes when you lose consciousness right when Clint sneaks into the bedroom. “We got to go, guys. Grab the girl and run!”

“Y/N said she rather dies than living like that, guys,” Natasha sniffles. “How fucked up is James Barnes to refuse to help his mate during her heat? That asshole didn’t even knot her as any alpha would.”

“We got no time to discuss Bucky is the asshole of the century. Let me get her and we bring her to a hospital,” Steve carefully covers your body with a blanket before he cradles you in his arms. “Lead the way Clint, Sam we are on our way, need back-up and the car. Y/N is in heat and it’s life-threatening.”

“I am on it, Brock already storms toward the,” Sam groans, “gate. Too late he’s taking Bucky’s men down, laughing like a mad man.”

“Got it,” Steve walks toward the door, followed by Natasha who tries to hold back the tears when her mate grasps for her hand. “We’ll help you, darling.”

“I sedated her, gave her something to ease the pain,” Bruce explains. “Her fever is still too high for my liking, but I got it under control. Did she eat lately?”

“We don’t know,” Peggy chokes out. “According to Brock’s information, Bucky was away for like three days.”

“I assume she hasn’t eaten for one or two weeks, at least not properly,” Natasha gasps while Steve prefers to ram his fist into the wall. “Her condition is still life-threatening, but I hope we can bring the fever down.”

“Can we see her?” Peggy pleas but Bruce shakes his head, sighing deeply. “We will wait then, right Steve?”

“We will wait and help her find a place to be after she recovered,” Steve declares. “Whatever we have to do to stop James' abuse.”

“Count me in, Rogers,” Brock smirks. “Whatever I can do to piss Barnes off floats my boat.”

“She’s my wife, let me pass!” Bucky yells through the hallway, gritting his teeth. He has Bruce pressed against the wall glaring at the man saving your life. “Where is she?”

“Intense care, Mr. Barnes. We still do not know if she is going to survive her heat. She starved too, this adds to her bad condition, followed by your treatment,” Bruce is, by all means, no coward, so he purses his lips, glaring at the mobster.

“Starving? No, she got food,” Bucky gasps. “Maybe she forgot to eat while I was away over the last three days?”

“I must tell you your wife,” spatting the word ‘wife’ Bruce clenches his fists hard enough to hurt, “starved for more than two weeks, maybe even longer. She must have barely eaten anything. If not for Mr. Rogers and his friends, she would be dead by now.”

Bucky drops his hands, nodding silently as he steps back to make space for Bruce to leave. “I must ask you to not be that loud at the hospital. If you at least could show some decency and leave the poor girl alone after almost letting her die, I would be grateful,” Bruce walks off to talk to Steve and Peggy about your condition.

“Doll,” Bucky whispers sneaking into your hospital room. His eyes widen at the sight of you. Barely breathing, IV at your arm you lie on the hospital bed, not opening your eyes. “Shit, omega.”

Feeling like someone stabbed his heart Bucky steps closer to your bed, carefully reaching out to stroke your hair.

His claiming mark, the one he left after your wedding is a reminder of the way he treated you. It’s messy, too deep and barely healed as he repeatedly bit you to remind you of your place.

“Doll, m’ sorry,” Bucky whines now, sitting on a chair next to your bed. “I hated you for messing my bond with Dolores up, Y/N. I wanted to claim her but that’s no excuse for hurting you.”

“What do you want here?” The door flings open when an enraged Steve Rogers enters your hospital room. “Didn’t you do enough? Do you want to end her right here to get your precious Dolores back?”

“Stevie, I didn’t mean to,” Bucky gasps when his best friend wraps his hand around his throat to slam him into the wall. “Steve…”

“No more Stevie, you monster. Do you know what she told Natasha,” Steve grits out as Bucky struggles against his hold. “Y/N preferred to die, Bucky. That girl over there chooses death over a life with you.”

“She…did?” Coughing Bucky falls to the ground when Steve lets go of him. He’s nervously running his fingers through his hair, pacing as he doesn’t know if he shall attack his friend again or just shove him out of your room.

“H…hello,” voice hoarse you blink your eyes open when your alpha hits the nearby wall. Steve just threw your mate across the room; not caring Peggy screams his name. “S…Steve?”

“We are here, darling. Do not worry,” Natasha whispers as you slowly sit up, looking at your alpha who crawls toward your bed.

Bucky gasps when you flinch away, not daring to meet his gaze. “m’ sorry for leaving the house. I swear I did not want to. I was not conscious when they brought me here. Please,” Steve blinks a few times when you start crying. “I’ll be good, daddy….”

“Why is she calling you daddy, Buck?” Ludicrous your mate shakes his head. “I don’t know, Steve. She never said much to me, to be honest.”

“Y/N,” Natasha tries again but you curl into a ball, whimpering silently. “Please, no more punishment,” your desperate sobs let Bucky get up to rush to your side.

“Doll, I am not your dad, it’s me, Bucky,” purring he tries to gently cup your cheek but you shake in fear. “Shhh, I’ll not hurt you, Y/N. You need to look at me and count to ten to calm.”

Weakly lifting your head you look at Bucky who counts for you. “1,” you take a breath, “2,” another breath and you feel lightheaded, “3 just like that,” Bucky praises while Steve runs out of the room to call for Bruce.

“She’s confused, disoriented and called Bucky ‘daddy’, Bruce. I think she’s…I dunno,” Steve watches Bucky sit on your bed to run one hand carefully over your hair.

“Just like that, doll. Look at me, no one is going to punish you, okay,” nodding you sniffle silently while Steve’s heart clenches in his chest.

“They’ll know you are not satisfied with me,” more tears run down your face when you hide it in the pillow.

“I am the one to blame, not you Y/N,” whispering the words Bucky grasp for another blanket to cover your still shaking body. “I’ll do anything to make you feel better, promised. Please, give me a chance.”

“Bucky, she’s confused, on strong meds to suppress the symptoms of her heat and starved,” Steve grabs his friends’ arm, tries to get him out of your room.

“If you want her to get better and start to act like an alpha, leave her alone for a few days. Let Peggy and Nat take care of her and if Y/N is willing to give you a chance, we will tell you so.”

Two weeks later…

“I think I am ready to talk to him,” whispering the words you look up at Steve and Peggy.

“What will you do now?” Peggy asks helping you into the chair to watch out of the window. “Y/N?”

“I don’t know yet, but I can’t let him do this to me again,” voice trembling you feel Peggy’s hand on your shoulder.

“Whatever you will decide to do, Steve and I will help you figure things out,” you nod, hearing the door open as Bucky silently walks into the room. He looks as if he did not sleep, eat, or shower for weeks.

“She’s ready to talk to you,” Steve says walking toward the door. “If she decides to go, we will take her with us.”

Nodding Bucky steps closer, looking at you before he kneels next to you, not saying a word he whines low in his throat. “I’ll do anything…”

Part 2

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[jobrookekarev]

One Step Forward and Three Steps Back

Chapter One of Six

Words: 2783

Summary: Jo wants to marry Alex more than anything, there’s just a few hoops she has to jump through before she can make that a reality. When she finally takes the plunge to free herself from her past, it all comes back to haunt her.

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy.

Relationship: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson, Jo Wilson/Paul Stadler (Past). 

Characters: Alex Karev, Jo Wilson, Stephanie Edwards, and Paul Stadler.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences, 

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Physical Abuse, Domestic Abuse, Assault, Drinking, Alcohol, Divorce.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

AN: Updates Bi-weekly 

……………………………………………………………………

“Let's make a baby,” Jo said as she walked over to him, offering up everything she had to him. 

“What?” Alex paused, truly looking over at her for the first time since he came into the loft.

“You said that you wanted a baby, and you would make an amazing dad,” Jo said, she knew that this was what he'd wanted for years now, and if that's what he wanted, she could be ready. “And that's what you're worried about, right, that I'm not all in? But I am. And I love you.”

The second her fingers touched his cheek, he pulled away. It was something he had never done before. All the times they had fought before, he had never pulled away from her touch, and him doing so now truly scared her.

“Are you gonna tell me why you won't marry me?” Alex asked again, staring deep into her eyes as if he could read the answer in her face. 

“I told you that I love you,” Jo said, but when she wouldn't answer him, he just turned away and went back to packing his things. “And that I'm not going anywhere. So isn't that enough? Can't that be enough for you?” 

“You know, I was with Mer this morning, and I was thinking, the two of us, we've been through hell. You know, all kinds of drama, crazy family stuff, we both almost died, losing people we love.” 

“No, you're not losing me,” Jo interrupted him, she wanted him to know that he wasn't going to lose her, and she didn't want to lose him.

“The point is, we grew up. Mer and I are grown up,” Alex said, turning around to look back at her. “We got through it. And hell is behind me. It's in my rearview mirror, and I'm not going back. I'm done.” 

“Alex, please,” Jo begged him, the last two words rang in her ear and broke her heart in an instant, but she held back the tears. It wasn’t the end, it couldn’t be.  

“I'm not, I'm not, some idiot kid anymore, Jo. I'm a man, and I'm done with games. I'm done with, with crazy. I'm done with losing. I'm done with drama. I don't care about your secrets and your excuses and your drama. You know, I've had that,” Alex said, and he was right. He shouldn't have to put up with her drama and her secrets, and she wished she could spare him from it all and tell the truth, but she just couldn't.

“Alex, if we could just,” Jo pleaded with him one last time.

“I just said I don't want to do this!” Alex screamed, as he raised his voice, she grew quiet. “I, I have never had one second of anything real my entire life. I want truth. I want, I want a wife and a house and a family! Amelia and, uh, Owen's wedding today, I want that!”  

“I can give you family and a home,” Jo pleaded, trying to get Alex to say. 

“But you won't be my wife?” Alex yelled as he stopped throwing the rest of his clothes in his bag to look at her. 

They had fought before, but not like this. He was so angry, but Jo wasn't frightened of him. She was, however, frightened to tell him the truth. She knew he deserved the truth, but she couldn't give it to him. Jo knew what Alex would do to Paul when he found out. She knew because she saw how mad he got when she had shown up on his doorstep after her fight with Myers. She knew that if Paul even looked at her wrong or dared to lay a finger on her, Alex would kill him and she couldn't live with herself if she caused that.

“I, I can't,” Jo whispered, her words coming out in a painful breath. 

She wanted to explain or at least give him a part of the truth. A part of her was protecting him from his own anger, but another part of her had held the secret for so long and, every time she tried to say it, it was like the words were trapped in her head.

Alex looked so disappointed as he shook his head before he grabbed his bags and left. It broke her, it broke her to see Alex walk away like that. Jo sat down on the bench, held the pillow to her chest as she cried. After everything she had done to get away from Paul, changing her name, leaving behind all of her friends, including the boy who is like a brother to her, and starting over in Seattle. He was still ruining her life and her relationship with Alex. 

She had thought about divorcing Paul for the past few months, ever since Alex proposed. She had contacted the lawyer that Arizona had used for her divorce case. Michelle had shown Jo her options and it all seemed easier than Jo realized. She had also dug up Jo’s medical history from her time with Paul. With the clear evidence of domestic abuse, Michelle said she could help Jo get an emergency protective order. It would go into effect right away, and then a domestic violence restraining order would protect her during the divorce proceedings and for the rest of her life. Michelle said that because of their separate lives, it would be an easy divorce. She had drafted the papers and sent them over to her, all they had to do was sign them. 

Jo didn't know if Paul would make this easy and sign the papers, or if he would drag it out for years, but she wanted to try. She tried to tell herself that with the restraining order and a lawyer on her side, she could do it. Jo wanted Alex to be by her side, but now Alex was gone, and he would be gone for good if she didn't divorce Paul. 

She went over to the liquor cabinet. Jo grabbed the bottle of the hardest rum they had and took a swig. It burned her throat as she drank it and Jo took as much as she could before she put the bottle down. If she was going to do this, she needed as much liquid courage as she could get. 

Jo made up her mind. She was going to divorce Paul.

She pulled out her phone and called Michelle. Michelle set up an appointment to meet with her the following day and said she would get the ball rolling. She would file the emergency restraining order and finalize the divorce papers that had been sitting in her drawer for months. Michelle assured her that she would have a restraining order against Paul at the end of the day and that she would be protected. Jo thanked her and quickly hung up. 

Jo had always kept tabs on Paul just in case. Which was good because she knew that he was in Seattle giving a talk at the University of Washington. The past few days, she had felt trapped in the loft because of it, as she feared he would see her when she was out and about or at the hospital, but now she could divorce him before the weekend was over and Alex would never know. Then she could say yes and marry Alex. They would be happy and Alex would never know. Paul would never ruin his life because of her. 

Jo took a deep breath as she looked down at her phone. She was drunk enough to think that this was a good idea and before she knew what she was doing, she had dialed Paul's number. But, of course, he didn't pick up, Paul didn't pick up any strange numbers. Hearing his voicemail was enough to send shivers down her spine, but the liquid courage had given her enough strength to speak and leave him a message. 

“Paul, it's me, it's Brooke. I want a divorce. I'm leaving you for good. I found another man and he's wonderful. He's better than you ever were and I want to marry him. So I want a divorce. I'm in Seattle. I work at Grey-Sloan Memorial and I live here. I live at 4196 Cale St. I know you're giving some stupid talk at U-Dub, and I’m sending you the divorce papers, and you are going to sign them. Because you ruined my life enough and you don't get to ruin it any more.”

Jo hung up and she smiled. It was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and she felt free, freer than when she was driving away from him all those years ago. Finally, she felt truly free. 

Then Jo looked around the empty loft. Alex wasn't there, he had left, and she was all alone. Jo sighed, taking another swig of the bottle. Then she texted Stephanie to meet her at Emerald City Bar. Jo needed her friend and there was no way she could spend the rest of this day sober. 

……………………………………………………………………

“Hey, what are we drinking about?” Stephanie asked, appearing at the bar and sitting next to Jo.

“Alex is gone,” Jo said as she leaned against the bar. She was genuinely drunk now and was suddenly second guessing everything that she had done. “I had the love of my life, and I just, pssh, pushed him away, and now he's gone. And I’m doing it, I’m finally doing it, but I already lost Alex, he's gone.”

“Okay, this again,” Stephanie said as she took a swig of the beer the bartender gave her. “Let's not overstate this. He's just living at Meredith's.”

“Steph, you didn't see his face. He’s gone,” Jo said, looking over Stephanie and seeing her face, Jo suddenly realized what she had said. “Oh, God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. He's not gone-gone. Kyle is gone-gone.”

“Making it worse,” Stephanie said as Jo leaned over to put her arm around Stephanie and lean her hand on her shoulder.

Stephanie shook her off and Jo decided to shut up before more words fell out of her mouth. In her endeavor to divorce Paul, it was like all her walls had finally come down. The truth slipped from her tongue like a bar of soap between her fingers. 

“He just kept asking me to marry him again and again,” Jo said as she picked at the peanut shells on the bar and tried to throw them into the bowl. “I just couldn't say nothing anymore, you know, so I just, I just said no.” 

“You could've said yes,” Stephanie said, taking a sip of her drink and shaking her head as if it was as easy as that.

“I should go home. I need to go home,” Jo said, reaching for the bag next to her and getting out. 

“What? No, you cannot drive home,” Stephanie said, getting up and chasing after her. She tried to grab the bag as Jo turned away from her.

“No, stupid, I'm gonna call. I'm looking for my phone to call a goober,” Jo said, looking through the bag and trying to find her phone. “I can't marry him. I want to, but I can't marry anyone.”

“Why's that?” Stephanie asked in her rude and sarcastic voice what made Jo realize what she had said.

“Just 'cause, none of your business,” Jo yelled, looking back at her.

“Okay,” Stephanie said, holding up her hands and leaning back.

“God, where is my. Oh, my God!” Jo paused, and she looked down at the strange purse in her hands. “This isn't even my purse.”

Stephanie rolled her eyes and took the purse from Jo's hands, replacing it with Jo's own bag. “Here, just wait, and I'll call us a cab and you can tell me all about why you can't marry Karev.”

“I can't marry him because I'm already married,” Jo said, the words slipping off her tongue. She guessed she was done hiding the truth.

……………………………………………………………………

“Okay, you can't just drop a bomb on me like that and then not say anything else,” Stephanie said as they walked into the loft, and Jo stumbled over to the couch before she caught Jo around her waist and led her over to the bed. “Okay, come on, time for bed.”

Stephanie left her on the bed and went to grab a cup of water. This was the last thing she wanted it to be doing, but Jo was her best friend, and they were both going through it right now. Cleary Jo had some deep dark secrets and Stephanie would be lying if she said she wasn’t immensely curious about it.

“I was living in my car. Did you know that I lived in my car?” Jo said, stumbling over, reaching out to put her hand on the table. It seemed Stephanie couldn't leave her for a second and she reached out to grab Jo again. 

“Yes, I know all about your street kid days,” Stephanie said, trying to grab ahold of her, but Jo pushed her away, and she was surprisingly strong for a drunk girl.

“And then I met him, and I wasn't living in my car anymore. Everybody loved him, I did,” Jo said, undoing the button to her jeans and pulling them down her legs.

“What are you doing?” Stephanie said, putting her hands on her waist and glaring at Jo. Everybody always joked about how drunk people acted like toddlers and Jo was certainly acting like a toddler right now. 

“I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go to bed,” Jo said as she stumbled over to the bed before apparently changing her mind and leaning against the post. “He never wanted anyone to stop loving him.”

Stephanie paused and sat down on the bench at the end of the bed, watching Jo for a moment. Jo had never mentioned anything about past boyfriends, much less a husband. She watched as the tears collected in Jo's eyes as she started to sob and she could sense why Jo had never mentioned him before.

“So if I, I bought the wrong something he would, he would hit me in my face or my stomach. Nobody knew that but me. So, so I ran. I had to make sure he would never find me.”

“And if you try to divorce him,” Stephanie trailed off, still trying to take in the news of Jo's abusive husband.

“I'm trying to divorce him, but he’ll never sign the papers, I'll never be free of him,” Jo said, putting both of her hands on Stephanie's shoulders and staring into her eyes. 

“Can’t you get a restraining order or something?” Stephanie asked, watching Jo pull away from her. “Does Alex know about any of this?” 

“No, no, Alex would try and protect me, but he can't. I have to do this on my own. He doesn't even know my real name,” Jo said as she stumbled over to the bed.

“You should tell him, he'll understand. Alex is a really good guy. Okay, so we're going to get naked now,” Stephanie sighed as Jo unbuttoned her shirt and let it fall to the floor. “Just keep your panties on, okay.”

Jo didn't say anything else as Stephanie grabbed onto her waist and pulled her over to the bed. They both ended up stumbling and falling on the bed together and Jo laughed as if it was the funniest thing in the world. Stephanie rolled her eyes and got up to grab the covers. As she looked up, Alex was standing in front of her in a rain soaked suit. 

“What's so funny? Alex asked as he smiled and came around to sit next to Jo on the bed.

“We fell,” Jo laughed, closing her eyes and pulling the covers over her head, still giggling from underneath them.

Alex looked up at her with a raised eyebrow and Stephanie just shrugged. “She's drunk off her ass.”

Alex nodded and put his hand over Jo's back, rubbing up and down as her giggles ended and she seemed to settle in. Stephanie got up and grabbed Jo's shirt from the floor before grabbing her jeans, tossing them both in the hamper.

“You came back,” Stephanie said, looking back at Alex.

“Yeah, well, Jo’s earned the benefit of the doubt, and whatever reason she has for not marrying me, I love her too much to let her go.”

Stephanie nodded, she didn't want to spill Jo’s secret, especially now that Alex was back, but she didn't want him to leave Jo again. She saw how messed up Jo was all night and Alex wasn't even dead. Stephanie loved her friend enough not to want to put her through that again. 

“She has a good reason for not marrying you. I won't tell you what it is, that's her job, but it's a good reason, and she’s trying to make it right,” Stephanie said as she folded her hands together.

“Thank you,” Alex said, nodding at her before he looked back at Jo and leaned down to kiss a little bit of her head that was still peeking out from under the covers. 

Stephanie wobbled as she took another step towards the door, realizing how drunk she was now that she didn't have Jo’s drunkenness to compare her sobriety to. 

“Do you want to crash here?” Alex offered, taking off his wet jacket and tie. “I'm going to hop in the shower, but I'll take the couch if you want to take the bed.”

“Sure,” Stephanie said, dropping her purse and kicking off her shoes.

She had slept over at the loft enough times with Jo that this was normal. They would have a girl's night and fall asleep on the bed, and Alex would come in and sleep on the couch. In the morning, he’d make them a hangover cure and waffles and Stephanie loved those waffles. Alex hung up his wet suit and went to take a shower and Stephanie crawled into bed. Jo would still giggle occasionally, but eventually, they both fell asleep.

……………………………………………………………………

Jo woke up to the sound of someone banging on the door to the loft. She rolled over to lay on her back and saw Stephanie sleeping soundly beside her. Her best friend had always slept like a log and she would sleep through her alarm if she was tired enough. Jo got up before she went to the hamper and pulled on her shirt. 

“Alright, Alex I’m coming,” Jo said as the banging continued, despite how late it was she figured Alex had forgotten something. She unlocked the door and pulled it open, but Alex wasn't standing on the other side. 

“Hello, Brooke.”

[30somethingontumbler]

So I have developed a slight obsession with the Bucky/Sarah Wilson pairing and decided the only way to get it out of my system is to write a short angst filled fic so here it is. The idea was basically what if Hydra tried to get the winter soldier back by kidnapping someone important to him so I guess enjoy?

James Buchanan Barnes had gotten use to the constant sound of two young boys during his stays with the Wilson’s in Louisiana. The constant sound of play from his sisters while growing up had been something he didn’t even remember missing until he had woken up to AJ and Cass playing with the Shield, that first morning. They also reminded him of long summer days spent running the streets of Brooklyn with Steve the noise had become a comfort to him. That is why when he walked in the back door he knew something was wrong. He had spent most of the morning at the docks helping Sam and Carlos get the boat ready to go for it’s fist day back of shrimping season starting tomorrow. He had promised to be home by 3 to help Cass with his history presentation on the howling commandos, but when he walked in the house was silent, the boys got out of school at 2:30 and they where normally home by 2:45. Sarah had a lot of chaos in her life but the one thing she always managed was making sure they boys had the most consistent schedule known to man, the thought of her possibly running late was almost unimaginable, so where were they?

Right as he was thinking this the front door burst open, Sarah charging through and running directly to him, as she crashed into his chest he noticed her disheveled state her braids normally tied back neatly had come loose and her flannel over shirt was falling off her right shoulder, he had never seen her so distraught, her calm strength had been the thing that attracted him to her the most when he had finally gotten the courage to ask her out about a month after the flag smashers had been dealt with and he and Sam had some time to themselves, that had been almost a year ago and the only time he had seen her control even slip a bit was when Cass had gotten lost at the zoo, and that is when it hit him the silence and Sarah’s distress could only mean one thing, something had happened to the boys his boys.

“Sarah, baby what’s going on where are the boys,” he asked trying to keep his own distress out of his voice and be strong for both of them at the moment. Sarah pulled back and took a couple of steadying breaths.

“I got them from school and we went to pick up a poster board for Casses project, a car had been behind us for a while when we pulled into the dollar store but I didn’t think much of it until we parked and got out to go in and a group of men they took my babies James they took them and told me if I wanted to see them again the the soldier would return to his rightful place, Bucky they just drove off I don’t know what they meant” she said having grown more distressed as she spoke.

Bucky knew exactly what what’s happening, hydra was not gone, they wanted their asset back and they had taken his children to get him. He opened his phone and shot a text to Sam telling him to come home immediately and to bring Carlos, while he waited for Sam he tried to reassure the woman he loved that he would not let anything happen to her baby’s and that he would get them back.

It only took Sam 10 minutes to get to the house knowing when Bucky said emergency he meant it. He walked in to see Bucky on the couch his sister holding on to him for fear life and sobbing. Before he could even ask the super soldier spoke

“Hydra kidnapped the boys, they want the soldier back, I need to leave immediately”

Bucky looked from Sam to Carlos, and picking up on what was needed Carlos went to Sarah and tried to take her so that Bucky could get ready and go after hydra but she pulled tighter to him. Bucky turned to his best girl.

“Sarah baby I need you to go with Carlos I promise I will get our boys back.” He soothed

Sarah nodded her head weakly and pressed and quick kiss to the side of his mouth before letting go and allowing Carlos to take her to her room. As soon and Sarah was out of the room Bucky was out the door and in the garage, he pulled the hey off the top shelf and began to unlock the cabinet that held his tactical gear and weaponry.

“Air lift will be her in 20min what’s the plan buck,” said Sam behind him.

“The plan is I turn myself over to Hydra in exchange for the boys, they are most likely at an old base a mile outside of DC, it was off the records and abandoned but it is the closest one that would have been exposed when Nat leaked everything.”

“No, man you are not going to just give yourself over to Hydra again, I know you love the boys like your own and they are my nephews I want them back just as much as you do but we can find another way that doesn’t involve you going ack to Hydra” said Sam

“We don’t have time Sam, I know Hydra if I don’t turn myself over to them and do it fast then they will start hurting them, and I will not be the reason that they are tortured, the quicker I turn myself over the quicker they are safe, I will figure out how to get out once AJ and Cass are safe” Bucky replied with a scary calm “Sam I need you to trust me I can’t Do this without you, someone has to be there to bring them home after the exchange and it need to be you”

“What about Sarah, I know she needs you.” Sam spoke quietly hoping his friend might see reason.

“The boys are the priority right now, anyway She will get over me, and look at where being with me has gotten her. Her children kidnapped as a barging chip, they will be better off with me, if we are lucky hydra just wants to kill me so that I’m one less hero to fight them and everyone will be free of the poison of knowing James Buchanan Barnes.”

“Buck” Sam began but before he could say more the Quinn jet was landing and Clint was stepping down the ramp.

“I’m here to help how ever I can” said Clint as he met them in the yard.

“Thank you Barton,” said Bucky “ what we need is someone here to make sure Sarah is ok in case hydra decides taking the boys is not enough leverage and come for here too.”

“I can do that,” replied Clint, “Laura and the kids are flying in commercial to provide emotional support they should be here by tonight”

“Thank you Clint” said Bucky “ hopefully they boys will be back with their mother by the end of tomorrow” and with that Bucky was boarding the jet Sam right behind him carrying a shield and his suit in its case.

Chapter 2

By nightfall they were sitting outside of the hydra base waiting for negotiations, Bucky could not stay still he kept pacing back and forth waiting for hydra to make themselves known. Finally the doors opened and out walked 10 men with AJ and Cass being restrained by two very intimidating armed men.

A man stepped it from the formation the leader assumed Bucky and approached stopping about 10feet from Bucky

“Solidat how nice of you to join us” said the leader “You probably don’t remember me but you would remember my father Dr. Arnim Zola, I am Dr. Arnim Zola the second. But I am assuming you are not here to chat we will have plenty of time for that later, right now I am assuming you would like to negotiate, so here are my terms, the Wilson boys for your life and please do not assume you can trick us if you make a single wrong move I have snipers who will end the life’s of the Wilson children before you blink,” as the Dr. Zola the second spoke red lasers appeared on the boys at least a dozen from every direction, Bucky was not getting out of this it was his freedom or his children and he knew there was no choice to even make.

“Well since you have such good back up will you at least let me say goodbye to the boys before I have to give up my freedom” he said hoping he could take just a moment to let them know how much they meant o him before he would be forced back into slavery to Hydra never to see them again.

“I suppose we can give you that last request Sargent Barnes,” said Zola “release the children.”

As soon as they where no longer being man handled by the hydra agents the boys where running to Bucky as they neared him he fell to his knees embracing the little men who he had come to see as his boys, his children, they both grabbed on to him as tight as they could holding on for dear life.

“Bucky you can’t go with them, you can’t leave us” cried Cass into his shoulder

“We don’t want to loose another dad” cried AJ into his other shoulder

His boys cry’s almost broke him and for a moment he tightened his grip on them before pulling back to look in at them one last time.

“If I had a choice I would never leave you boys, and I don’t want you thinking this is your fault sometime bad people do things that we can’t change and it is not your fault,” he said hoping to give his boys one last lesson before he had to leave them forever. “Thank you for letting me be your dad, even if it was only for a little while, you boys and your mom have been the best thing that has ever come into my life,” he paused trying to compose himself, “now I need you to on do me a favor ok, I need you to tell your mom, tell her that she made me a new man and that I would not trade a second for anything and that I love her. Can you do that for me.”

The boys nodded their heads and wrapped their arms around him one more time. Bucky held them for a moment before he stood back up placing a kiss in each of their heads with a final whispered I love you before letting them go and having them run back to Sam who had stayed in civilian clothes by the request of hydra not wanting captain America to have his shield or wings to give them an advantage over the hydra agents. As soon as they were safely in Sam’s grasp Bucky turned to the hydra agents, disabled his arm and placed it behind him on the ground and slowly began to make his way toward the agents waiting to capture him.

Suddenly as of out of no ware all of the guns red dots that had been aimed at the boys and himself turned onto Zola, and out the agents all turned on each other as tendrils of red magic swirled around them and Wanda descended behind them while Zola sunk through a portal made on the ground.

“Hello Sargent Barnes it seems like you could use a bit of assistance” came the voice of Stephen Strange from his left

“Next time hydra tries to grow its heads back true giving me a call before offering yourself up on a silver platter, Barnes” came the voice of Nick Furry from his right at shield agents flooded the area taking the hydra personal into custody, a simple task thanks to Wandas mind control.

Before Bucky could say anything to either man AJ and Cass were running towards him and without hesitation he scooped both boys into his arms lifting them as if they weighed nothing. They held on to Bucky as if he would disappear if they released him Bucky made eye contact over their heads with Sam who turned to address their backup.

“Doctor, director thank you for the assist” said Sam. “You guys really showed fast, and Wanda did you learn how to voodoo so many guys at once”

All of the hydra men having been taken care of Wanda had made her way over to the group.

“The suburbs” she replayed.

Bucky looked at them all over the boys heads

“You have no idea what this means to me, thank you all of you” said Bucky “I know their is probably more we need to discuss but I need to get the boys home to their mother”

“No worries Bucky,” said Wanda “ I think we understand the need for a mother to know her children are alright” there was a sadness in Wandas eyes with that last comment and Bucky made a note to talk with the young woman once he go his family home and settled.

Chapter 3

The boys refused to leave Buckys arms for the entire ride back home on the jet and he was just fine with that, he sat with one boy on each knee there little arms thrown loosely around his neck heads resting on his shoulders, he periodically would kiss each of their heads saying a quick prayer of thanks that not only did he still have his freedom but he got to be in these boys lives even for just a little longer. When the jet landed the boys tightened their grip on his shoulders and he lifted them with the ease that the serum flowing in his veins allowed. As soon as his feet left the ramp Sarah had them all pulled into her embrace kissing each boys head before pullycas into her arms and Laying her hand on AJs back, Bucky guided them into the house and up to the boys room both boys being completely worn out and barley awake after the adrenaline had worn off on the ride back to Louisiana, Sarah placed Cass in his bed while Bucky put AJ in his placing another kiss on his head before switching places with Sarah and repeating the process with Cass, as he began to pull away from him Cass reached out his hand grabbing Buckys metal are and pulling him back.

“You will be here when we wake up right Dad?” His little voice said full of fatigue.

Buckys voice caught in his throat at being called dad for the first time and from across the room AJ added

“You won’t leave us will you dad?”

Bucky cleared his throat and looked between the boys

“Nothing in this works could make me ever leave my boys, I will be here in the morning, and as many mornings as you will have me for the rest of my days, you two are my world, I love you, now sleep boys I will see you in the morning”

Sarah and he stepped into the hall wordlessly and quietly made their way down the stairs as soon as they hit the bottom Sarah was pulling him toward her and placing a searing kiss on his mouth, pulling him flush to him he returned her kiss with just as much passion and emotion, he had almost lost everything today. And I’m that moment when he thought everything was gone he decided that if he got back to her he would ask her a question the most important question of his life. And when they finally ran out of air and had to break the kiss as soon as he has enough air he spoke

“Marry me, Sarah, marry me.”

“Bucky” she said, “you don’t have to, today was heavy don’t make a decision you might not be ready for because of a stress filled day”

“I’m not” he relayed “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, have for a while, I want to be officially the father of those two boys up there, I want to raise them together and grow old with you, and I want to marry you! I want the world to know that James Buchanan Barnes is Going to do everything in his power to protect this family and I want to call you my wife”

“If you are sure” Sarah said “ the of corse it is a yes, 100 times yes, I could not ask for a better man and I want you to help me raise our boys, you were willing to give up you freedom and your life for our children and I have every faith that you will keep us safe and love us forever so it’s a definite yes.”

Bucky could not hold his joy in he lifted Sarah into his arms and spun her around twice dropping he back to her feet he kissed her again with all the love in his heart. The next morning James Buchanan Barnes woke to the sounds of his children playing outside his window with their uncle giving he and Sarah a few more hours to sleep but Bucky simply laid in bed enjoying the feel of his fiancé in his arms and the sound of his children’s laughter coming in through the window.

Mans that’s it if you liked it please leave a comment or just drop a like thank you!

[steves-on-a-plane]

Pieces Of My Heart

Words: 3038 Square Filled for @buckybarnesbingo​ : K3, “It’s Not Your Fault” Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader  Rating: General  Request: “Hello :) I'd like to request a bucky imagine if that's okay. Maybe something like the love story in the Greatest Showman Zendaya and zac Efron? Where it's difficult for them to get together but Buck fights for your love and in the end you end up together? :)” - @tieddown-withbattleshipchains​ Summary: Bucky goes away on a mission that’s supposed to last a month. After two weeks Reader gets a call from Steve that things aren’t exactly going according to plan...

“It seems like you’re going away forever.” You sighed, twirling a lock of Bucky’s shoulder length hair around your finger.

“You say that every time I leave.” He laughs, his lips inches away from yours.

“Well, I mean it every time you leave.” You pouted.

“It’s only a month, [Y/N]. I know that seems like a long time,” He apologized. “but I’ll have regularly scheduled check ins and you can call the compound at any time. The team will know how to reach me in case of an emergency. Now can I have my goodbye kiss?”

“If I don’t give it, will you have to stay until I do?” You asked, pulling your lips back a few centimeters.

“If I don’t get it, I’ll have to leave for my mission anyway, but I’ll be doing it without your sweet kisses and your blessing. Which would be bad luck.” He frowned.

“Fine.” You finally brought your lips to touch his.  

“There, was that so hard?” Bucky asked once he could finally tear himself away from you. “I’ll miss you the entire time. I promise.”

“I’d rather you promise you’ll come back in one piece.” You told him.

“Can’t. I’m already missing parts.” He held up his vibranium arm. “And every time I leave there’s at least a piece of me still here with you, but I’ll be back in as many pieces as possible. I better go before Rogers & Wilson leave without me.”

“Would that really be so bad?” You asked as he picked up his bag.

“I’ll see you in four weeks, [Y/N]. I love you.” He called over his shoulder.

“I love you too!” You shouted back before he opened up the front door and left for his mission.

You settled into your “Bucky is on a mission” routine after that. There was always an adjustment period whenever he left. You had to get used to eating alone, watching TV alone; it was a lot of doing things alone. A week into the mission you got the usual check in call from Tony. He said the mission was proceeding as planned, and someone should be in touch in a few days.

Another week passed and you picked up a new hobby to occupy your time. You’d seen a lot of internet tutorials that made it seem super easy to create things with resin and some silicone molds. You ordered a bunch of supplies from Amazon and before you knew it, you had a stack of coasters that looked like geode slices. You’d been successfully distracted and didn’t notice that you hadn’t receive a check in call that week. When you did notice, you thought maybe they just had nothing new to report. Often times with the team, no news was good news.

Time moved on to the next week. You decided to re-read your favorite book series as another way to pass the time. Things were slowing down at work just when you really needed your mind occupied. Bucky had been gone for twenty days. You’d been keeping track on a calendar in the kitchen. That night, you were fighting to stay awake long enough to finish your current chapter, when your cellphone rang. It was the compound. You answered on the second ring with a yawn.

“[Y/N]? It’s Steve. Are you at home?” He asked.

“Oh, Steve, are you guys back already?” You questioned. “Bucky said you’d be gone for a month at least. Everything go according to plan?”

“Not exactly.” Steve confessed. “I’d like to talk about it with you in person. I’ll be at your place in five.” He explained before ended the call.

That sure as hell woke you up. You got out of bed and dressed yourself. If Steve would have had good new to share, he would have told you on the phone. Something was very, very wrong. Steve must have been on his way to your apartment when he called because he arrived almost exactly five minutes later.

“Where is he, Steve?” You demanded opening the front door.

“Physically, he’s fine [Y/N].” Steve assured as he stepped inside your apartment.

“Where is he?” You repeated.

“Ah,” Steve rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. “That’s classified.” He answered shortly. “What I can tell you,” He rushed to add. “Is that like I said, he is physically fine.”

“Yes, I heard you the first time. Why do you keep specifying physically?” Your voice was angrier than you expected it to be. The words carried a bit of bite you didn’t usually harbor.

“Because that’s all we’ve been able to confirm ourselves.” You watched Steve deflate in front of you as he sank into one of your kitchen chairs. “Technically speaking, Bucky is considered M.I.A.”

“M.I…You mean missing in action? As in for real missing?” Steve hesitated before nodding solemnly. “Please, tell me how you managed to lose my fiancé.”

“It’s not that simple, [Y/N] and you know that. This was a highly classified mission.” Steve insisted. “What I can tell you is he’s not himself right now. He’s gone full Winter Soldier again. Sam and I had to fall back, we can’t risk him coming in contact with anyone he’ll recognize at the moment. Sam is keeping tabs on him from a distance for now until we can get someone in undercover.”

“Why is Sam there? He’s your best friend, how could you leave him?” You asked.

“I’m going back as soon as I can, [Y/N]. It’s too big a job for Sam to do on his own and we never completed our original mission. But I came back for you.” He explained. “I have to make sure you’re safe, I know it’s what he’d want.”

“You shouldn’t have wasted time. I’m fine here. Whoever you’re worried about isn’t coming all the way to Brooklyn.” You assured him. “You should go back, help him.”

“I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I am helping him right now, just by being here.” Steve said. “It’s not Hydra I’m worried about hurting you, [Y/N]. It’s him.”

“Buck?” You laughed sarcastically. “C’mon Rogers.” But you knew the truth that hung in the air unspoken between the two of you. While the real Bucky Barnes would never allow any harm to come to you, if the Winter Soldier had been activated again, there was no knowing what he was capable of.

“If they’ve been able to find out about your very public courtship, they may believe that killing you could stop Bucky from ever coming back to us. Let me take you somewhere safe.” He asked.

“Where? The compound that has almost as many internal threats as it does external?” You questioned. “Or some type of a safe house somewhere with you who couldn’t protect him from himself in the first place?”

“I can only think of one place safe enough.” He told you. “I’ll help you pack.”

Two years. That’s how long you had been hiding. Sure, Steve had made arrangements for you to be kept in the most secure and luxurious hiding place imaginable, but it hadn’t made you feel better. You never worried for yourself. You only ever worried about Bucky. No one could tell you exactly what had happened to him or where he was. Your every question was met with the same response. “Classified.”

You faced the windows of your guest room, studying the view from the palace. The country of Wakanda reminded you of a planet you might find in a Star Wars film. The architecture in the city below was a strange mix of modern technology with ancient structures. Towers and spires seemed to jut from locations at random. Juxtaposed behind everything else was a backdrop of lush jungles and sturdy mountain tops.

There was a knock on the door. You sighed and looked away from the lively landscape. You hardly left your room since coming to stay in the Wakanda. You didn’t want to be a bother to your incredibly generous hosts. Generally, only the staff came by either to clean or bring you food. On occasion Shuri or even the King of Wakanda himself would drop by, usually to provide a status report if he had one. You opened the door to see T’Challa smiling on the other side.

“Good morning [Y/N]!” He greeted you cheerily.

“Good morning, Your Highness.” You greeted him and invited him in. “You seem to be in a good mood today.”

“[Y/N], I am in a great mood.” He confirmed. “I have just spoken with Captain Rogers.”

“There’s good new then?” You wondered.

“I’m sorry I cannot provide more information at this time,” He explained. “But I am expecting another phone call this afternoon. With any luck, we may finally know the whereabouts of Sargent Barnes. I know you are anxious to be reunited with him and return home.”

“I’m sorry if I’ve seemed ungrateful at all during my stay.” You apologized immediately.

“Please, do not worry. You were taken from your home to a foreign country and separated from your friends and people you love most. You have been rightfully concerned about Sergeant Barnes as well. I am happy that we were able to provide you with security and shelter during this time. Should our services be needed again, the gates of Wakanda will always be open to you.” T’Challa assured you. “Please enjoy the rest of your morning. I will return this afternoon when I have more information.”

That afternoon, you decided to go for a walk. Both to give the cleaning staff room to do their job and to work through your muddled feelings. You thought of what T’Challa had said that morning. It had felt like so long, your stay in Wakanda. You wondered if it could be possible, were you finally at the end of the winding and twisting road? Would you finally see Bucky again? You’d just been about to head back to your room when you heard the exclamations of the princess.

“[Y/N]! [Y/N]!” You heard Shuri excitedly shouting for you. She bounded towards you, full of more energy than usual. “I have just heard the most wonderful news!” She said with a beaming smile.

“Are you going to share it with me?” You asked.

“Of course! But you must promise to act excited when my brother tells you himself.” She told you.

“Shuri, you didn’t happen to spy on T’Challa’s call with Steve, did you?” You narrowed your eyes at her suspiciously.

“It is not spying if he leaves the door to his office open, is it?” She questioned.

“I suppose not.” You laughed. “Okay, what’s the news?”

“They have found him!” She announced, squeezing your arm.

“I suppose it is true what they say. Good news travels fast.” You heard the King’s voice from behind you. You turned to face him. “Sergeant Barnes has been found and extracted. He will be here with within the hour.”

“I can’t believe it.” You said with tears brimming in your eyes. “Will I be allowed to see him?”

“Of course.” T’Challa nodded. “I will gladly notify you once they’ve arrived.”

Your palms were sweaty. You brushed them against the sides of your skirt nervously. Your heart was pounding and you felt like you were struggling to breath in the muggy Wakandan air. You lived anxiously for the past two years and didn’t understand how you could possibly be feeling even more nervous as you waited for the quinjet to land.

“Everything is going to be fine, [Y/N].” T’Challa whispered in assurance as the ramp of the jet opened. Your breath seemed to catch in your throat as James Buchan Barnes stumble down the ramp, flanked by Sam & Steve. He was leaning on Sam partially for support, but his face lit up when he laid eyes on you.

“I promised I’d be back in as many pieces as possible!” He shouted to you with a smile on his face.

“Go get him.” Shuri elbowed you encouragingly. You could only shake your head slightly in response. There was the man you loved. The man you’d worried about, pained over. He was only a hundred feet from you, and suddenly it didn’t feel right. There was a burn in your chest, an ache. As if by saying hello you were actually saying good-bye. Tears traced your face as the three men continued to move closer.

“I have to go.” You told T’Challa and Shuri. You turned on your heels and ran back towards the castle. Once inside you continued running. When you couldn’t run anymore you moved as fast as your legs would carry you. You tore into your room and began shoving your things into your suitcase. There was a knock at the door. You ignored it.

“[Y/N]? It’s Sam. Can I come in?” He called through the door. “I’m alone.”

“I’m a little occupied Wilson!” You shouted back to him, getting your other suitcase out of the wardrobe.

“I’m coming in.” Sam announced before pushing the door open. “What’s going on?”

“Isn’t it obvious, I’m packing.” You huffed. “There’s no need for me to stay in Wakanda so…”

“I meant why did you run.” Sam sighed.

“I don’t…I don’t know.” You confessed. “I saw him and I just…panicked.” You threw the handful of clothes you hold at the bed. “Sam the past two years, I wanted nothing more than for Bucky to be back. But I saw him stumbling out of the quinjet and I don’t think I can do it. I can’t be the person who helps put him back together. I’m not strong enough to do it again.”

“You don’t have to.” You and Sam both looked up at the door where Bucky was standing, slightly hunched. He had deep bags under his eyes and he looked like he hadn’t slept the whole two years. Steve and T’Challa were standing in the hall behind him.

“Buck, why don’t we…” Steve reached forward and tried to gasps Bucky’s shoulder, but his best friend shook him off.

“I love you.” Bucky said very seriously. His eyes locked onto yours and he stumbled a little closer. Sam took a half step protectively closer to you, but you didn’t think anyone else noticed. “I am so sorry that I it took so long to get back to you. Two months apart from you would have been hard, but two years…You lost two years of your life because of me. I know that I cannot apologize enough…”

“Bucky you don’t have to apologize.” You interrupted him. “I don’t know all the details, and I don’t need to, you’re not responsible for what you do as the Winter Soldier. You don’t owe me any explanation or apology.”

“I’m giving one just the same.” He insisted. “I can’t imagine how hard this has been for you and I don’t know how I’m going to begin making it up to you, but I swear I will. I have to. You’re the reason that I’m me again.”

“But I don’t want that responsibility anymore, Buck.” You sighed. You voice trembled and everyone in the room could tell you were hold back a fresh wave of tears.

“It’s okay.” He told you, stepping closer. “It’s my turn to take responsibility. Do you know how I got back? How I broke through the mind control? I fought for you. I imagined how you must have felt, what you must have been thinking when you heard I’d disappeared. I know how much you feared getting that type of call from Steve or someone else. I knew I had to get back to you, so that you knew I was okay. I knew that if I didn’t, you’d never recover from that type of loss. Not because you’re not strong, you’re tough as nails, Doll. But I know you loved me. Even if that’s in the past tense now. I just wanted you to know that I’m alive and I’m okay. That’s all I wanted to say.”

“I-I…You were able to break free of the mind control because of your love for me?” You repeated, trying to make sure you heard him right.

“Well, when you say it like that you make it sound so easy.” He shrugged. “Believe me it wasn’t.”

“Why don’t we give you guys some space.” Steve suggested awkwardly.

“No, it’s okay, I’m going.” Bucky said. “But I want you to have this.” He reached into his pockets and pulled out a small wooden box with hand carved Wakandan symbols on it. “I had some help from the King.” He confessed, looking briefly over his shoulder at T’Challa. It was originally going to have a question accompanying it, but that doesn’t seem appropriate now.” Bucky passed the small box over to you. “Either way, I want you to have it.”

“[Y/N], will you consider staying with us one more night? Shuri will be most disappointed if she doesn’t get to give you a proper goodbye and she’s already returned to her work for the afternoon.” T’Challa explained. “The rest if you are welcome to stay as well. There is plenty of room for everyone.”

“One more night.” You agreed. “It’s the least I can do after everything you’ve done for me.” T’Challa nodded. He, Sam, Steve and Bucky all began filing out of your room. You looked down at the ornate box in your hand.

“Buck?” You called after him. He hung back while the others continued on. “Two years ago, I would have said yes to this in a heartbeat.” You indicated the box, guessing there was most likely and engagement ring inside.

“And now?” He asked quietly.

“How can we be sure this won’t happen again, that you won’t disappear again?” You questioned.

“Are you kiddin’ me? You won’t be able to get rid of me if you tell me that’s what you want.” He smirked. “I’ll get a civilian job. We can move somewhere totally off the grid if you want.”

“I want you to be able to have your own life.” You told him.

“I had my own life for seventy years.” He said. “It only took me two to realize the one part of it that matter was you. I said when I left that I was leaving a piece of me with you, I took a lot more of you with me than I thought.” 

[pagingevilspawn]

Spin The Bottle

i’m just gonna come out and say how much i hate this one shot already because it’s seriously bad. i had it planned to be like super cute, but you guys get this so... enjoy. chapter one of LYIALG will be up on Thursday! 

a high school au one-shot

____

Josephine Wilson sat on the edge of her best friend Stephanie Edwards' bed, watching as she pulled shirt after shirt, skirt after skirt, pair of pants after pair of pants out of her closet, scattering them across the room as she threw them behind her aimlessly. It looked like a scene of out every young adult movie starring a late twenty year old trying to be sixteen. A total cliche.

"Ugh I can't find it!" her friend exclaimed frustratedly, huffing as she turned back to Jo with a pout on her face.

"Find what?" Jo asks, more focused on picking at the skin on her nails than her friends fashion moment. Damn cuticle, it wouldn't go down without it hurting like a bitch.

"My sparkly black top? You know that one? The one with the sequins and the v-neck..." she trails off in hopes that her best friend would know what shirt she was taking about.

Jo stands up immediately, looking through the closet closely and carefully, not making a huge mess like Steph.

She emerges a few seconds later, holding the hanger the top was on in her right hand with a small smirk on her face. The other girl's jaw drops wide open when she sees the item. "How?!" she exclaims. She'd been looking for the top for at least twenty minutes.

Jo just shrugs her shoulders, though it was probably due to the fact that she didn't flip the closet inside out while trying to find it. Turns out throwing clothes everywhere created and even bigger mess and wasn't helpful in the process of finding lost clothes.

Steph takes the shirt from the brunette, saying 'thank you' so many times Jo lost count. She didn't really see the big deal, it was literally just a shirt after all, but to Steph is seemed like life or death, so she took the gratitude.

The darker skinned girl shimmies out of her shirt before slipping the tank top over her head, adjusting it before turning around to face Jo, smoothing it down as she smiles. "Whadd'ya think?" she asks, spinning around.

The girl lets out a loud wolf whistle, showing her approval. She smirks, looking her friend up and down. "Jackson is gonna lose his shit." she says, referring to Steph's boyfriend, a senior named Jackson Avery, also known as the only reason they were going to the party. Having your best friend date someone a grade older had some serious perks (mainly getting into senior parties, but there were probably some other advantages too).

And she wasn't lying, Steph looked seriously hot in her figure hugging v-neck and ripped black jeans. She'd done simple makeup, but her bold red lip really stood out and made her whole outfit complete.

Snapping Jo out of her thoughts, the curly haired girl studies her, "What are you wearing to the party?" she asks, pinning back some of her baby hairs with a clip as she turns back to her mirror.

"This." Jo says, referring to her dark blue jeans and flannel she currently had on. It was comfy, and it's not like her latest foster family gave enough shits to buy her clothes that hadn't been hand me downs or from dingy thrift stores. Or enough shits to buy her clothes or give her money for them period.

The other girls face curls up, "No."

Jo quirks a brow, "No?"

"Nope, c'mon." she says, dragging the brunette back to the closet. "We're going to a senior party and you wear flannels every day. Tonight, you are gonna show off that fine ass figure of yours." Steph says adamantly, tutting at whatever clothes she didn't approve of as she flicked through the large closet.

Jo shakes her head immediately, making her almost get whip lash from how many times her head went back and forth. "No way Steph. I'm fine." She didn't want Steph's clothes. She didn't want any kind of charity or special treatment. Just because she couldn't afford 'party clothes' didn't mean she couldn't go to parties.

As if her friend read her mind, "It's not charity Jo, it's me begging you to play dress up with me." she smirks, referring to what the two did ever since they were little girls. They would steal Steph's mother's heels and prance around in them, taking bits of jewelry and piling it on their necks, arms, and fingers. Then, they would steal some of Mr. Edwards' shirts and use them as dresses for the royal ball. She misses those times, when all their worries were focused on which of their stiffed animals would be the prince to escort them during their first dance.

How could Jo say no to dressing up? For old times sake, if anything.

So, she lets Steph rummage through the closet once more, giving her full control. Jo couldn't put an outfit together for shit. Ask her a math problem, that was her area of expertise. But fashion? It'd be as useful as asking a brick wall. Actually, a brick wall might be more helpful.

Not too long after, the girl returns with a deep red, slightly ruffled tube top and black ripped jeans similar to her own.

"No way!" Jo exclaims once she sees the top. Sure, it was cute as hell, but seriously, how many times would she need to pull it up throughout the night? Nothing was more awkward looking then watching a girl pull up her top from under her armpits.

Because that was definitely attractive.

"Yes way!" Steph claps back, tossing the items directly at the brunette as she struggles to catch them. Oh yeah, another thing she was terrible at, sports.

"Pleaseeee," she begs, giving Jo her best puppy dog eyes, that she knew she couldn't resist.

Jo opens and closes her mouth, looking more and more like a fish every time she did so. "I don't have the right bra." she argues back lamely, but it wasn't too far from the truth. She'd seen most girls wear either a strapless or lacy bra underneath. She had neither.

"It's padded on the inside. You don't need one." the other girl argues.

To Jo that sounded even more uncomfortable, but she wasn't going to put up a fight now. It wouldn't be of use anyways. Steph would win either way, especially if she used those damn eyes again.

Steph was like her sister, so how was she supposed to say no to her sister?

Jo grumbles something inaudible before making her way into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her. She slips off her shirt and bra, sliding on the red tube top, thanking the universe that her and Steph were the same size, so it wasn't to big nor too small. She shimmies on the jeans, once again thankful that both her and Steph were size 2's. She honestly hated belts with a passion.  

She pats down her outfit a few times, straightening out any crinkles, making sure that she didn't smudge any of her makeup as she pulled the top on. She honestly couldn't do makeup for shit, but she was proud of the minimalistic look she was able to pull together, which consisted of a cheap foundation and concealer, some nude eyeshadow, mascara, blush, and that was it. She was much more focused on trying to save for college than pay for makeup.

When she walks out of the bathroom Steph squeals, making Jo plug her finger's with her ears. The girl could squeal, she'll give her that.

"You look hot Jo." Steph says.

"Yeah yeah. Are we gonna get going, because i'm pretty sure we're already twenty minutes late." the brunette says, combing her fingers through her hair as she glances at the clock, which read 10:27. The party started at ten. Definitely late.

"Let me do this one thing," Steph says, dragging Jo to her vanity and sitting her down on the chair. "Eyeliner." she says, holding up the small tube of black liquid eyeliner.

"Fine." Jo huffs, closing her eye's as she feels the makeup get placed on first her eyelid, then the corner, letting Jo know that her friend was doing a wing. She was glad Steph was practically the queen of eyeliner and only needed to do it once because she wasn't sure how much patience she had in her to sit around. It'd been a rough Friday and all she really wanted to do was drink a beer and maybe make out with a hot guy.

After she opens her eyes she barely has time to say anything before she feels smearing on her lips, letting her know that Steph was putting lipstick on her. She doesn't remember agreeing to it, but again, sisters.

When she gets a chance to look in the mirror she sees that her lips were now a baby pink, the creamy lipstick was smooth and had a nice smell (a huge advantage in her book) and her eyeliner was done to perfection. Thank god for Stephanie Edwards.

The two smile at each other, "Ready?" the darker skinned girl asks just as Jo is about to leave the bedroom.

"Jacket!" she says, slapping a hand to her forehead, barely noticing how a cropped black jean jacket was heading her way before she ends up getting hit straight in the face.

Jo mumbles a thanks as she slips the jacket on, immediately feeling warmer now that her arms were covered. They pair walks down the stairs, saying a brief goodbye to Mrs. Edwards with a wave as they head out the door, making their way to Steph's car.

Steph slides into the driver's side and Jo into the passengers, blasting music all the way to the Avery house, a large white McMansion that already had a multitude of cars parked outside it. The girls get out of the car and walk up to the house, where they can hear techno music blaring from inside. They knock on the door, thinking it would be pointless until none other than Jackson himself pulls it open, greeting them both with a wide smile, jaw nearly dropping to the floor once he sees his girlfriend.

"Might want to close your mouth Avery, wouldn't wanna catch flies." Jo teases, patting the man on the shoulder twice before making her way to the kitchen and grabbing an unopened beer from the fridge. She pops off the top and takes a long sip, immediately feeling relieved as the liquid slides down her throat.

She leans against the counter, sipping on her beer as she watches the party move around her. She wasn't really a party girl. She'd rather spend her nights studying and reading than in crowds, but she had a total of three tests that day and she felt like letting off some steam, and what better way to do that than hang at Jackson Avery's house?

But seriously, partying really wasn't her scene. Sweaty bodies grinding on each other with their alcohol soaked breaths never seemed to be of much interest to her.  She makes small talk with Lexie Grey, one of her closest friends as they watch their surroundings, complaining about school and whatever comes to mind.  

She's not sure how long they talk for, but she assumes that it's been awhile because before she knows it, Steph is dragging both her and Lexie by the arms up the stairs. "Spin the bottle!" she says, tipsily tripping as she makes her way up the steps.

The other girls exchange glances, but turn back and enter the room Steph was dragging them into, finding to be filled with seniors Jo recognized for the most part. Meredith Grey, Cristina Yang, Derek Shepherd, Owen Hunt, Callie Torres, Mark Sloan, Arizona Robbins, Alex Karev, and Jackson Avery sat in a circle, a single beer bottle in the middle of them all.

"I didn't think people actually played this game..." Cristina mumbles, loud enough for everyone to hear, making them murmur in agreement. Jo took a seat next to Lexie, who was next to her boyfriend Mark. She felt a bit out of place, but decided to suck it up. If the game was as entertaining as they made it seem in movies and TV shows then why not enjoy it.

"Shush Yang. Just for that you're going first." Jackson smirks.

The raven head's mouth drops open, groaning before mumbling things incoherently under her breath before speaking up, grinning devilishly. "Fine, but one rule..." she looks around the circle. "You gotta make out with your person." she bites the inside of her lip.  

"Unless you feel completely uncomfortable with it." she finishes, knowing that she wouldn't really want to make out with a certain person she called Evilspawn.

A few people give cheers of approval while others moan. This was going to be interesting. She spins the bottle, the cluster of students watching it spin around and around before it lands on Meredith, her best friend.

The guys of the group cheer loudly (mostly Alex and Mark) as the two make their way to each other before crashing their lips together, laughing as they make out sloppily, much to the amusement of the others. Even Jo had to admit that watching the two women struggle to keep a straight face was quite amusing.

Maybe this game wouldn't be so bad after all.

____

So far the group had been playing for about thirty minutes and things had definitely gotten interesting at moments. When Derek landed on Mark the whole room bursted into laughter, Meredith and Cristina pulling out their phones to video the moment. The two men cringed, scrunching their faces up as they straightened their posture before pressing their lips as far out as they would go, only getting a small peck when their lips touched, but that was enough for them to wipe at their lips furiously and start trying to cleanse their mouths with beer. Men.

It was Arizona's turn and she watched the bottle spin around when it eventually lands on Alex, making him try to hide a chuckle, knowing she was a least hoping for a girl.

"I won't kiss you Robbins if you don't want me to." the man says sincerely, making Jo look up from her fingers, a bit surprised. The Alex Karev she'd heard about was a complete ass.

Arizona shrugs it off, her blonde hair bouncing. "Nah, there's a first time for everything right?" she smirks. "You know Karev, you'll be the first guy I've ever kissed." she says, making him nod.

"Can't say you'll be the first girl i've ever kissed." he retorts, making her smack his shoulder.

"Shut up. Okay. Be nice." she reprimands him, leaning forward without warning and capturing her lips on his, holding it for five seconds before pulling away.  

Alex raises his eyebrows, he was expecting a peck, but that would work too. "So?..." he trails off.

She shrugs her shoulders, "You're a good kisser." she licks lips. "But girls taste better." she smirks, earning a round of applause and laughs.

Alex chuckles and spins the bottle not longer after Robbins takes her seat, Jo watching it spin around and around until it lands on... her? She hadn't been landed on yet, so it was a bit of a surprise.

The man sends her a crooked smirk as she gets up from her spot relatively nervously before sitting in front of him. Okay no, she was actually really nervous. She didn't know much about Alex Karev other than the fact that he had slept with a good amount of the school and broke lots of girls hearts by not calling them back. He'd kissed a lot of girls, what if he thought she was a terrible kisser?

Shut up Jo-, she's immediately cut out of her train of thought by the man's lips on her's. She was stoic for a split second, before kissing him back, the kiss quickly going from soft to passionate as they feel fire build in the pit of their stomach.

They both forgot everything in that moment, where they were at, who they were. The noise around them faded out until it was just the sounds of their lips moving against each other hungrily, trying to taste as much of they other as they could.

They eventually pull back for air, remembering where they were and that all eyes were on them. Jo blushed at the sight but looked back to Alex, who's eyes were shining with a lust she'd never seen anyone wear before. Alex on the other hand, doesn't seem the slightest bit bothered as he stares at her first in bewilderment, trying to figure out what this girl was making him feel, then smirks, pulling her onto his lap and into another breathtaking kiss. She grips onto his hair as his hands roam her sides.

She knows that this wasn't a part of the game, but she really couldn't care less. Alex Karev could kiss her like that for as long as he wanted.

He knew it was only supposed to be one kiss, but damn, this girl he'd only seen a couple times from the distance was making him want her more and more with every movement that her lips made on his.

He pulls away for a split second, looking at the group who was staring at the pair with wide eyes. "I'm not planning on stopping anytime soon, so somebody take her turn." he mutters gruffly before kissing her once more, slipping his tongue into her mouth as they fight for dominance.

And let me tell you, they definitely did not stop anytime soon.  

[gadgetgirl71]

Amazon First Reads September 2020

It’s that time yet again! For me and other Amazon Prime Members to take our pick of this months Amazon First Reads. So if your an Amazon Prime member don’t forget to get your free First Reads Book.

This months choices are:

Thriller

Every Missing Thing by Martyn Ford, Pages: 367, Publication Date: 1 October 2020

Synopsis: One family. Two missing children. A lifetime of secrets.

Ten-year-old Ethan Clarke’s disappearance gripped the nation. Just as his parents are starting to piece together a life ‘after Ethan’, their world is ripped apart once more when their daughter, Robin, disappears in almost identical circumstances. They’ve lost two children within a decade … and now doubts about their innocence are setting in.

Detective Sam Maguire’s obsession with the first case cost him his own family, but he has unfinished business with the Clarkes. He is convinced that discovering what happened to Ethan holds the key to finding Robin. But what if the Clarkes know more than they’re letting on?

With the world watching eagerly, the clock is ticking for Sam as he embarks on an investigation that forces him to confront his own demons. To uncover the truth, he must follow a trail of devastating deception—but the truth always comes at a cost …

Book Club Fiction

Millicent Glenn’s Last Wish by Tori Whitaker, Pages: 340, Publication Date: 1 October 2020

Synopsis: Three generations of women—and the love, loss, sacrifice, and secrets that can bind them forever or tear them apart.

Millicent Glenn is self-sufficient and contentedly alone in the Cincinnati suburbs. As she nears her ninety-first birthday, her daughter Jane, with whom she’s weathered a shaky relationship, suddenly moves back home. Then Millie’s granddaughter shares the thrilling surprise that she’s pregnant. But for Millie, the news stirs heart-breaking memories of a past she’s kept hidden for too long. Maybe it’s time she shared something, too. Millie’s last wish? For Jane to forgive her.

Sixty years ago Millie was living a dream. She had a husband she adored, a job of her own, a precious baby girl, and another child on the way. They were the perfect family. All it took was one irreversible moment to shatter everything, reshaping Millie’s life and the lives of generations to come.

As Millie’s old wounds are exposed, so are the secrets she’s kept for so long. Finally revealing them to her daughter might be the greatest risk a mother could take in the name of love.

Police Procedural

The Unspoken by Ian K Smith, Pages: 295, Publication Date: 1 October 2020

Synopsis: In this new series from #1 New York Times bestselling author Ian K. Smith, an ex-cop turned private investigator seeks justice on the vibrant, dangerous streets of Chicago.

Former Chicago detective Ashe Cayne is desperate for redemption. After refusing to participate in a police department cover-up involving the death of a young black man, Cayne is pushed out of the force. But he won’t sit quietly on the sidelines: he’s compelled to fight for justice as a private investigator…even if it means putting himself in jeopardy.

When a young woman, Tinsley Gerrigan, goes missing, her wealthy parents from the North Shore hire Cayne to find her. As Cayne looks into her life and past, he uncovers secrets Tinsley’s been hiding from her family. Cayne fears he may never find Tinsley alive.

His worries spike when Tinsley’s boyfriend is found dead—another black man murdered on the tough Chicago streets. Cayne must navigate his complicated relationships within the Chicago PD, leveraging his contacts and police skills to find the missing young woman, see justice done, and earn his redemption.

Contemporary Romance

Roommaids by Sariah Wilson, Pages: 301, Publication Date: 1 October 2020

Synopsis: From bestselling author Sariah Wilson comes a charming romance about living your life one dream at a time.

Madison Huntington is determined to live her dreams. That means getting out from under her family’s wealth and influence by saying no to the family business, her allowance, and her home. But on a teacher’s salary, the real world comes as a rude awakening—especially when she wakes up every morning on a colleague’s couch. To get a place of her own (without cockroaches, mould, or crime scene tape), Madison accepts a position as a roommaid. In exchange for free room and board, all she needs to do is keep her busy roommate’s penthouse clean and his dog company. So what if she’s never washed a dish in her life. She can figure this out, right?

Madison is pretty confident she can fake it well enough that Tyler Roth will never know the difference. The finance whiz is rich and privileged and navigates the same social circles as her parents—but to him she’s just a teacher in need of an apartment. He’s everything Madison has run from, but his kind hearted nature, stomach-fluttering smile, and unexpected insecurities only make her want to get closer. And Tyler is warming to the move.

Rewarding job. Perfect guy. Great future. With everything so right, what could go wrong? Madison is about to find out.

Literary Fiction

A Single Swallow by Zhang Ling, Pages: 299, Publication Date: 1 October 2020

Synopsis: The eagerly awaited English translation of award-winning author Zhang Ling’s epic and intimate novel about the devastation of war, forgiveness, redemption, and the enduring power of love.

On the day of the historic 1945 Jewel Voice Broadcast—in which Emperor Hirohito announced Japan’s surrender to the Allied forces, bringing an end to World War II—three men, flush with jubilation, made a pact. After their deaths, each year on the anniversary of the broadcast, their souls would return to the Chinese village of their younger days. It’s where they had fought—and survived—a war that shook the world and changed their own lives in unimaginable ways. Now, seventy years later, the pledge is being fulfilled by American missionary Pastor Billy, brash gunner’s mate Ian Ferguson, and local soldier Liu Zhaohu.

All that’s missing is Ah Yan—also known as Swallow—the girl each man loved, each in his own profound way.

As they unravel their personal stories of the war, and of the woman who touched them so deeply during that unforgiving time, the story of Ah Yan’s life begins to take shape, woven into view by their memories. A woman who had suffered unspeakable atrocities, and yet found the grace and dignity to survive, she’d been the one to bring them together. And it is her spark of humanity, still burning brightly, that gives these ghosts of the past the courage to look back on everything they endured and remember the woman they lost.

Supernatural Thriller

The Haunting of H G Wells by Robert Masello, Pages: 393, Publication Date: 1 October 2020

Synopsis: A plot against England that even the genius of H. G. Wells could not have imagined.

It’s 1914. The Great War grips the world—and from the Western Front a strange story emerges…a story of St. George and a brigade of angels descending from heaven to fight beside the beleaguered British troops. But can there be any truth to it?

H. G. Wells, the most celebrated writer of his day—author of The Time Machine, The War of the Worlds, The Invisible Man—is dispatched to find out. There, he finds an eerie wasteland inhabited by the living, the dead, and those forever stranded somewhere in between…a no-man’s-land whose unhappy souls trail him home to London, where a deadly plot, one that could turn the tide of war, is rapidly unfolding.

In league with his young love, the reporter and suffragette Rebecca West, Wells must do battle with diabolical forces—secret agents and depraved occultists—to save his sanity, his country, and ultimately the world.

Nonfiction

Welcome to The United States of Anxiety by Jen Lancaster, Pages: 288, Publication Date: 1 October 2020

Synopsis: New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster is here to help you chill the hell out.

When did USA become shorthand for the United States of Anxiety? From the moment Americans wake up, we’re bombarded with all-new terrifying news about crime, the environment, politics, and stroke-inducing foods we’ve been enjoying for years. We’re judged by social media’s faceless masses, pressured into maintaining a Pinterest-perfect home, and expected to base our self-worth on retweets, faves, likes, and followers. Our collective FOMO, and the disparity between the ideal and reality, is leading us to spend more and feel worse. No wonder we’re getting twitchy. Save for an Independence Day–style alien invasion, how do we begin to escape from the stressors that make up our days?

Jen Lancaster is here to take a hard look at our elevating anxieties, and with self-deprecating wit and level-headed wisdom, she charts a path out of the quagmire that keeps us frightened of the future and ashamed of our imperfectly perfect human lives. Take a deep breath, and her advice, and you just might get through a holiday dinner without wanting to disown your uncle.

Children’s Picture Book

The Monster on the Block by Sue Ganz-Schmitt, Illustrator: Luke Flowers, Pages: 32 Publication Date: 1 October 2020

Synopsis: Monster is excited to see what kind of creature will move into Vampire’s old house on the block. He even starts practicing his welcome growl for the new neighbour. But when the moving truck pulls up, it’s not a greedy goblin, an ogre, or a dastardly dragon that steps out. Instead, it’s something even more terrifying than Monster could have imagined! Monster quickly rallies the other neighbours to unite against the new guy on the block. But what if the new neighbour isn’t exactly as bad as Monster thinks? Join Monster as he confronts his fears in this charming and light-hearted look at what it means to accept others who are different from us.

*** Which book will you choose? I have no idea which book I’ll choose as there a couple of books that interest me this month. ***

#AmazonFirstReads, #Amazonkindle, #AmazonPrimeMembers, #BookClubFiction, #Books, #ChildrensPictureBook, #ContemporaryFiction, #Kindle, #KindleBooks, #LiteraryFiction, #NonFiction, #PoliceProcedural, #SupernatuarlThriller, #Thriller

[cksmart-world]

The Completely Unnecessary News Analysis

By Christopher Smart

Dec. 17, 2019

MOSCOW MITCH and THE 'SEE-NO-EVIL' DEFENSE

& BEN McADAMS, GLADIATOR

So what if Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell is coordinating with the White House for President Trump's impeachment defense. Checks-and-Balances is only a theory, kinda like evolution. Another reason it's no big deal is that President Trump hardly did anything wrong. You can't impeach a president for one phone call. And the notion that there was a coordinated effort to coerce Ukraine President Zelensky into investigating Joe Biden and his son is only backed up by 17 witnesses. This is a sham witch hunt — just ask Fox & Friends or Sean Hannity. It's so clear-cut that McConnell and his Republican colleagues won't have to call any witnesses at all during the impeachment trial. What would witnesses say anyway? There was a quid pro quo. Americans don't care about no quid pro quo. And what if the president did say, hey Volodymyr, we've been very good to you, so hows about doing us a little favor and get the Bidens or we won't give you any military aid. The thing is, they got the military aid anyway (once the extortion leaked). And besides, as Mick Mulvaney, Trump's acting chief of staff, said, we do that shit all the time. Just because James Madison wrote that “The structure of the government must furnish the proper checks and balances between different departments,” doesn't mean Republicans give a damn — because, face it, they don't.

ERA: DOA

Here we go again, troublemakers are pushing the Equal Rights Amendment that would make women equal with men under the law. This, of course, spells trouble. It's so bad, in fact, that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, formerly known as Mormons, has weighted in again, holding steady to its earlier position that the amendment would mess things up real bad on account of men are men and women are women. The ERA, as it is known, got a big push in the 1970s by them women's libbers who wanted to burn their bras and wear boxer shorts. But then as now, some of the strongest opponents of the ERA are women. Here are some of their arguments against it: If the ERA is ratified, women will have to use urinals. If the ERA is ratified, women will have to fly Black Hawk helicopters and fight in combat. If the ERA is ratified, girls will want basketball scholarships and forget all about Home Ec. If the ERA is ratified, men can wear pantyhose unapologetically. If the ERA is ratified, women will have to wear crewcuts and Mr. Mac suits. If the ERA is ratified, women will play hockey and knock each other's teeth out. If the ERA is ratified, women will have to operate heavy equipment and whistle at young men during their lunch break. And if the ERA is ratified, women will share the pants in the family. And that's why ERA is Dead On Arrival.

BEN McADAMS, GLADIATOR

The mild mannered man from Utah stepped out of the phone booth carrying stone tablets. Mr. McAdams had got religion and will vote to impeach the false prophet, Donald John Trump, for abuse of power and obstructing Congress. On return from a vision quest where he looked into the eye of the tiger and a campaign of nasty TV and newspaper ads, Ben emerged with his soul intact, despite threats to feed him to the lions if he didn't buckle under like the rest of the Utah delegation. It will rain frogs before Rob Bishop, Chris Stewart, John Curtis and Mike Lee understand their place in history — a portrait of fools giving succor to dark forces that would pitch democracy to the netherworld in exchange for shiny trinkets of gratification. The battles for the spirit of America are not at an end and the gladiator from Utah surely will face an onslaught of righteous infidels seeking to undo him. But whether he wins reelection or not, McAdams will remain a champion. Amen and pass the ammunition.

WHAT PRESIDENTS SAID

 LBJ: Doing what's right is easy. The problem is knowing what is right.

Trump: I'm never wrong.

  Lincoln: America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.

Trump: I'm the best president since Lincoln. Some say I'm greater than Lincoln.

  Reagan: We shall be the shining city on a hill.

Trump: I will order a total ban on Muslims.

  George H.W. Bush: Read my lips, no new taxes.

Trump: No one cares about my taxes except the evil Fake News media.

  JFK: Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.

Trump: Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what you can do for me.

  Bill Clinton: I didn't inhale.

Trump: Stormy who?.

  FDR: The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

Trump: I'm going to scare the bejesus out of you.

Post Script: Throw another yule log on the fire and mix yourself an eggnog, 'cause that's it for another crazy week here at Smart Bomb, where the staff keeps track of Republican prevarications, so you don't have to. Yes, 'tis the season of impeachment and time to consider whether you ought to adjust your medication. But take heart, the end is not here. Just remember, Germany recovered from the Nazis; Rome is thriving today, despite the fall of the empire; and the Buffalo Bills made it to the NFL playoffs. (If that doesn't give you hope, what can?) As the year winds down, Salt Lake City Mayor Jackie Biskupsi is taking victory laps before she leaves office on Jan. 1. Jackie has accomplished a lot — if she does say so herself — but took a lot flak because she's a woman. What other reason could there possibly be? The staff here at Smart Bomb never says bad stuff at funerals and so we will bite our tongues and wish Jackie a fond farewell as she rides into the smog. We'd also like to bid adieu to Jackie's bodyguard, who will now return to regular duty at the Salt Lake Police Department after babysitting her through hundreds of boring meetings. Now there's something to celebrate.

 Well, Wilson, tell the band to put down the eggnog and take us out with a little something for the season of joy: It's coming on Christmas / They're cutting down trees / They're putting up reindeer / And singing songs of joy and peace / Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on... I wish I had a river so long / I would teach my feet to fly / I wish I had a river I could skate away on...

[lovelykat001]

Before We Go- Part 8

Word Count- 2,277

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Chapter 8

You stood looking at yourself in the mirror making sure you looked presentable enough for the wedding.

“You almost ready?” Steve called from the other side of the door. You opened the bathroom door and stepped into the main room. Steve looked up at you and smiled. “Well, don’t you look fantastic.”

You snorted when you laughed. “Please, I’ve now been wearing the same clothes for what? Two days? You on the other hand…” Your eyes racked up his body. He was wearing a perfectly tailored suit with a dark blue dress shirt underneath the jacket. It seemed to hug him in all the right places. Even with all the layers on you could still see the outline of his muscles. Bringing your eyes up to his face you couldn’t help but admire the way his beard completed the look. When you met his eyes, you finally snapped out of your daze. “You clean up very nice if I do say so myself.”

Steve smiled and fiddled with his jacket button to occupy himself.

“You think this will actually be fun or will it just be torture?”

“I’m going to make it my personal mission to make sure you have fun tonight. You deserve to let loose.”

A smile spread across your face. “Then what are we waiting for?”

~~~~~~

As you walked into the venue, hand in hand with Steve, you were handed a pamphlet with times in which everything is scheduled to happen.

“That’s smart,” you commented to yourself.

Steve looked around the room to see where to sit when he sees Sam raise his hand. He tugs on your hand and brings you to your seat. Both of you take a seat. Steve is in the middle between you and Sam.

“Did you sign the guest book?” Sam asks.

Steve looks around, “There’s a guest book?”

“Yeah, over there just past the entrance,” Sam points.

Steve puts his hand on your knee. “Did you want to come sign the guest book with me?”

You shook your head, “Oh, no, I shouldn’t. I don’t even know them. I don’t want them to look back in the book and wonder who the hell was at their wedding.”

Steve chuckled, “Alright, I’ll be right back.” You tucked your legs to the side so he could pass.

Looking around the room, you took time to appreciate all of the decorations. The wall in front of the room was exposed brick that had twinkling lights hanging down from the ceiling. The arch in front of the wall was breathtaking. It was wrapped in green leafs and branches with white roses peaking out on both sides. The aisle was adorned with white rose petals and candles in glass enclosures on either side. Even the chairs were comfortable enough to sit through the ceremony.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” Sam asked.

“It’s gorgeous. I wish my wedding was this nice.” Sam chuckled.

“Well if you ever decide to do a redo, make sure to invite me. I’m a blast at weddings,” Sam smiled gleefully.

You contagiously smiled, “I get that feeling from you.”

“Just saying, you’re in for a treat tonight,” you threw your head back in laughter.

“Making my date laugh, Wilson?” Steve squeezed through again back into his seat.

Sam shrugged, “She’s good company.”

The three of you made small talk for a while and commented on the beautiful ornamentation of the room and the attention to detail. After a while Steve looked at his watch. “The ceremony should have started by now…”

You looked down at the pamphlet. “No, it shouldn’t have.”

“But it’s…”

You cut him off. “You always start the ceremony 10 to 15 minutes after the time it says to give late people a chance to sit down.” Steve nodded in understanding.

After a few more minutes passed, the music started. You watch as everyone walks down the aisle. The bridesmaids are beaming and the groomsmen can’t stop smiling. Suddenly the music shifts and everyone stands for the bride to come out. As she emerges, the room stills. She looks so gorgeous. Her dress is slightly off-white and the top sheer layer glitters under the ambiance lighting. You turn to look at the groom who is wiping away a stray tear. His eyes are glossy but he can’t help but smile.

You decide at that moment that this is the look. This is the amount of love and passion you should have for your partner. That look is the look of true love. And you don’t want to accept anything less.

The bride and groom meet at the front and you swear you can see the groom bouncing slightly on his toes. He is so excited and ready to be married. It brings a smile to your face to see that kind of emotion.

As the ceremony continues, you are glued to looking at the young couples’ faces. They would try pay attention to their friend leading the ceremony but every once in a while, they will just turn back to each other and their faces will be filled with so much light. You are sure their faces hurt from smiling. It came time for the vows.

“Emily, we met during orientation Freshman year of college. I was sitting next to you in huge auditorium in the middle of campus. I mean, what are the odds of that? From the corner of my eye I saw you grab something out of your purse but I didn’t pay any attention to it at first. I was listening to the speaker when I heard Tupperware opening. I looking over and you were holding a fork and already going to town on some cut up steak and mashed potatoes,” The entire crowd starts laughing, including you. “I laughed and you looked up at me like a deer caught in headlights. Without saying a word you reached into your purse again and pulled out another fork and handed it to me.” Emily threw her head back in laughter. “So we sat there eating steak and mashed potatoes. I like to think of that as our first date. My point in telling this story is that you continue to surprise me every day and I never get tired of it. Nothing quite beats pulling out an entire meal out of your purse, but I’m willing to spend an entire lifetime with you to see if I’m wrong.” The crowd smiles and gives a round of ‘aw’s. “I love you with every ounce of my being and I couldn’t imagine spending my life with anybody else.”

Everybody claps and Emily wipes away a stray tear. “Wow that’s hard to follow.” Everybody laughs. “I just want you to know, in front of all these people, that… I think I forgot to put the milk back in the fridge this morning. I know you hate when I do that and I’m sorry.” The groom puts his hands over his face but you can still see his smile. “Now that I got that over, Brandon, I love you so much. When I think about spending the rest of my life with you I just get so giddy. I can’t wait to hit all the milestones with you. Getting a house, getting our first pet, our anniversaries, Fighting over whether we should rewatch Breaking Bad or Game of Thrones…”

“Breaking Bad. It’s always Breaking Bad.” The groom jokes.

“Nope, you’re wrong. It’s Game of Thrones. See, we’re already fighting!” Everyone laughs. “Even through the fights and the rough patches, I’m willing to go through it all with you. Because you’re my person and you always will be. I love you, Bear.”

You’re not sure when you started crying, all you know is that the tears are there and they are not stopping. Steve looks over at you and smiles faintly before giving his attention back to the couple right as they go to kiss. Everyone cheers and stands as Emily and Brandon walk down the aisle.

You turn to Steve, “Wow, I wasn’t expecting to cry,” You chuckled.

“Yeah, me neither,” he responds. That’s when you notice his eyes are a little glossy as well. “Here, let’s follow everyone to the reception hall.” You stand up with the crowd of people and follow Steve with Sam closely behind you holding your hand so you don’t lose each other.

You make it to the Reception Hall and again, everything looks beautiful. Tables are set off to the sides of the room and the center is wide open for dancing. The buffet lines the wall that you just entered from. All the decorations are white, silver, or a dusty blue. There are a couple trees in the back with fake snow on them.

“We’re table 12,” Sam interrupts your admiration. All three of you make your way over to table 12. You notice that you are only 3 tables away from Sharon. You glance at Steve to see if he noticed but he’s just talking to Sam.

Finally, the bride and groom emerge from the entrance and everyone starts cheering. They look at each other and share a kiss before moving out onto the dance floor for their first dance. You look on with a dopey smile and Steve laughs at you.

“What? I’m enjoying this, they’re so cute. Emily looks so beautiful too, I wish I looked that good on my wedding day,” you crossed your arms over your chest.

“I’m sure you looked gorgeous on your wedding day,” Steve smiled.

“Maybe, but I didn’t feel beautiful,” you looked to Steve, “You know I didn’t even get the dress I wanted?”

Steve’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why not?”

“I wanted to get something that Michael would like. So I didn’t get what I would like,” At this point you kind of found humor in how bad your experience actually was. You smiled as you continued to explain, “Want to know something else? I went wedding dress shopping alone,” you giggled maniacally. Steve didn’t really know how to react. He was half-smiling half-concerned because you looked like a crazy person. “AND I took a picture of the dress and sent it to me friend and she said ‘I don’t like it, I don’t think it’s you’ and I bought it anyway!”

Steve was somewhat laughing as he asked a question, “Why would you do that? Why would you get a dress you didn’t like?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know, I figured I knew what Michael liked on me and that’s the day he should like me the most. And he’s gotta like it enough to want to take it off that night.”

Steve shook his head, “If he’s marrying you I would think it wouldn’t matter what you were wearing, he should still want to take it off of you.”

“Yeah…” you stared off into space, “I’ve been thinking a lot lately about things like that in our relationship, and how messed up it is. Hindsight is a bitch.” As you say that a waiter comes up to the table and offers all of you a glass of champagne. You happily take it.

“Well for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. You deserve a lot more than what you’re getting.” You smiled at Steve. You looked out onto the dance floor and at the other couples that were now dancing along with the bride and groom.

Steve outstretched his hand to you, “Care for a dance?” Instead of trying to fight it, for once you just let it be and took his hand. He brought you out onto the dance floor and put his arms on your waist as your arms rested on his shoulders.

“You look different tonight. Definitely a lot less stressed. Does that mean you’ve figured out what you’re going to do?” Steve inquired.

You looked into Steve’s eyes. “In a general sense I think I know what I’m going to do. I just… I have to have faith in myself.”

“I have faith in you,” Steve drew you closer to him as you swayed to the music.

~~~~~~~

A lot of the festivities of the wedding had concluded but they still rung fresh in your mind. Emily had hit the DJ with her bouquet during the bouquet toss, Sam got everyone to form a conga line and was otherwise the main dancer of the evening, Emily’s brother gave a hilarious speech, and the garter toss was simply hilarious.

You sat at the table with Steve eating cake together. “This night really was amazing, thank you. I needed this.”

“Anytime.”

You set your fork down on the plate once you had finished and took a sip of your champagne. You saw Sam walking toward you from across the room. He had been occupied since the beginning of the reception entertaining people. He approached the table.

“Hey, I got my buddy to look at your phone and he says it’s good now. But you have an insane amount of missed calls from this Michael dude.”

Both you and Steve froze. Suddenly you felt agonizingly sober. You stood up and grabbed the phone from Sam. “I… I should go call him.”

Steve stood up and put his hand on your lower back, “Are you sure?” you nodded. “Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, that’s… this is something I should do alone.”

Steve nodded but still looked at you concerned. You walked out of the reception and immediately were met with the cold outside. Your hands were shaking as you hit the call button. You took a deep breath and held the phone up to your ear.

“Hey…” 

~~~~~~

Tagged:@goalie-love @pieceofshir @lilulo-12 @alwayssomeoneelse @ironspiderguy @aloneanddesperate @patzammit @aikibriarrose @thisismysecrethappyplace @schizophrenicstoryteller

[violetbeachpod]

1x02 / incorporeal girlfriend

CHARLOTTE:

Hello Violet Beach! Charlotte Cranor-Liu here to keep informing the general public–or, the not-general not-public–about how terrible everything is!

So! Let’s talk.

I’m Char, I’m sixteen, junior at the Corielli Academy For Creative Youths, and your new best friend. Unless, like, we’ve already met, in which case, you already know what I think of you.

So. Where to start? Cuz I got stories. Uh. At fight call today, I hit Andrew Meyer for real, which was pretty satisfying. Cuz he’s the worst? AJ high-fived me afterward, and actually told me where he worked? Which was super satisfying, cuz I got kicked out of the Starbucks for fighting in the alley by it? In fairness, the guy stole tips, it was–it was morally an obligation. But the assistant manager was like, “oh, but now he’ll sue us, and why did you claim to be an employee,” which, like, has she never heard of getting into character to add more feeling to a situation? He would be more likely to give it back if he thought he was stealing my money? Just—whatever. I needed a new coffee-source and now I have one.

But, anyway, AJ took me to the Bean Zone today, which, cool, I didn’t know they were even open. Neither did anyone else, though, I don’t think because it was empty. Which might also be because their coffee is kind of the worst? Still.

I kept AJ busy, though. He used his employee discount, so, I only paid, like, ten bucks total for my thirteen drinks. So. After I was properly caffeinated and his two-hour shift ended, which, I didn’t even know they did those, we started biking to his place, and he–he fell. And I got nervous, and I grabbed his arm to help him up once I was sure he was okay, and when I made contact, the–

Well, Teresa talked about this last time, but the sky went that gross purple color. And I assumed tehat–I assumed that the glow was because of us touching, so I let go, and then–I couldn’t.

And then the breeze that’s always there happened again. And we were back on the road, on our bikes, and we were pedalling. Like nothing happened.

And he said, like, uh, “Nice grip,” or something, and I nodded, because my grip’s pretty nice, and we were just, in, like, a really weirdass situation, so.

Anywho. So we went back to my place and my sister was all like, oh, wow, who’s this, your–censored rude term that disrespects AJ, who is, like, maybe my only friend–and so I yelled at her?

I mean. He’s not my only friend. I–he is.

Why can’t I say that I have other friends? Like–I’m trying to lie, right now.

Um. Okay. Cool. So.

We’ll get to that later.

But, anyway, I did scream at her, yes. Cuz she was an ass. As per ush.

So. Anyway. AJ and I went up to my room and started watching a bootleg of—y’know? If this, like, truth serum thing going on’s a thing, I’m not gonna try to name the show. Cuz it’s embarrassing. I wanted to—no. Okay.

Can’t lie! That’s—

Ugh! That’s so stupid!

Um. What else? I think I saw a ghost during photography today, but that’s just how the woods are sometimes. AJ and I broke into some asshole’s beach house back there for this week’s project, because last year the guy who owns it was a creep to me. But I think that maybe his house is haunted? Cuz there was this, like, weird mist in the living room right by the TV.

But again, that’s just how the woods are. I think. That’s not really my zone. But, of all places in this town to already be haunted? That’s, like, top thirteen spots, natch.

Also: Gregory And Janet Wilson Who Live In The Beach House Development In The Woods From May To September Every Year But Who Live In Virginia Otherwise left three spare keys under the lion statuette in their uglyass overgrown garden. So, there. Make of that what you will.

But. It’s a supernatural occurrence, or whatever you wanna call it, so I should put it on here. The ghost sighting. Not his key location. That’s–that’s just a thing that I know. Obvi.

The mist was, like–it was kind of all-consuming? Like, in that way that people are always all-consumed by beauty, but not really, because I was also having heart palpitations. Or something. Not really sure what heart palpitations are, but, uh. I was overwhelmed by the beauty but also? Very, very afraid of it. I felt like I was frozen in place, like I was being swallowed by it–

And then AJ said, “Are you okay?” and I snapped out of it. I asked him if he saw it, and he nodded, was like, “uh yeah, but, like, we could agree before entering that the woods are super haunted,” and I agreed, but, like, he didn’t seem to get the vibes that I did. Swear to god, I heard horror movie music behind me.

Uh. The Corielli board is meeting tonight, and I’m supposed to talk about the theater program, just–I don’t like talking in front of the PTA, because I don’t know any of their kids, like, logically, I should know their kids. There are maybe 200 people in the high school, and I know most of them. I know all of their faces.

But the Corielli board’s faces don’t look like anybody. Like, literally. I’ve talked at Corielli board meetings, like, seven times, and I cannot tell you what a single parent looks like.

Which might be supernatural happenings also? Nice.

[faux-excited]

Mystery! Intrigue! Cool!

[a pause, a sigh]

At least this truth-curse-or-whatever-the-hell-it-is has room for jokes. That’s, like, legitimately cool.

Um. So, I have to talk to the board tonight, and I think that’ll be—that—shit. Shit, it’s in ten minutes.

I’ll record more later.

[static, and a click. CHARLOTTE is out of breath.]

Okay, I’m back. I’m—holy shit.

So, I think the truth curse is off, but—like, obvi, I’m not gonna—I can promise that I’m not exaggerating.

So, the board. The board.

So, I think I said that they might be paranormal activity? They super are. I’m usually late, when I go to meetings? But I was on-time, and, uh, I was supposed to stay in the auditorium, but I went backstage to check on the set, but. Whatever. I was backstage. And so were they.

The board, I mean.

And they were—they were silent, in a circle, staring at each other. All of them. No one said anything, for a minute—like, I started timing a few seconds in, and it was at least seventy-seven seconds.

And one of them looked up, and just—feedback and sirens came pouring out of his mouth, like during an emergency when you’re watching TV or—

And he looked at me, blinked, and said, “Miss Cranor-Liu, you made it!” and he pushed through the circle, and nobody moved, just—and he grabbed my shoulders, and I wanted to—I wanted to hit him, to—

He just said, “The meeting’s cancelled, dear, didn’t you hear?”

I tried to take in his face, just cuz, and—nothing stood out to me.

And I tried to pull away, to hit him, to—to, like, kick him in his balls, or whatever, and my body just—it froze. And then there was that stupid purple again, and—

And I was outside. And I checked my email, and I didn’t get a cancellation notice, so—uh.

Something’s happening at Corielli. And, uh, I think—four or five of us went to Corielli, like, Teresa and Elaine def didn’t, and Benji, like—I’ve seen him on campus before, like, when I was in middle school, but also, I’m pretty sure he’s omnipresent, so. Who knows, with him. But the majority of us involved went to Corielli, so—like. That’s relevant, I think? Put it on your conspiracy board, next to the seven photos of Avril Lavigne and her dopplegangers. Use green yarn, for, like—for my sake. S’a good color for conspiracy theory boards that you never see anywhere.

I watch a lot of conspiracy theory videos, just to—to laugh at that. Also, they’re so consistent to me? So they’re very relaxing. Good to fall asleep to. Like, some folks need white noise or ASMR or whatever, but a good ol’ Andy Kaufman death hoax ten hour loop, y’know? Or, like, a Sondheim is multiple people one. It exists. You have to look hard for it, but, like, it almost convinced me that there are eighteen of him, so it’s worth it. I watched a seven-part documentary on the moon-landing thing when I was a kid, and that thing just, like—it got me so interested. I’m not crazy or anything. But this is ringing major documentary alarm bells. Maybe I can hit up some clickbait site and they can send folks over here to wrap a nice bow on this whole weird situation.

[beat]

Nobody’s gonna listen to this, like—and AJ’s the only person who’ll care, so, like, might as well talk on here.

Mae Babson the new transfer student is hot as hell. Like—I try not to have crushes, because they’re dumb, and they keep my eyes off the prize, which is to say, y’know. College. My art.

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that feelings are pointless and that we’d be way better off without them, y’know? Especially when those feelings are for really dreamy girls who manage to look, like, at least 70 percent like she’s into girls, even though this is Corielli, so, like, she could be the straightest girl on earth, and also she’s weirdly nice, like—nicer than most people. And it’s kind of annoying how nice she is, like, she—she’s nice to everybody. Even to people who don’t deserve it.

But. Anyways. She’s super hot and I’m kinda sorta in love with her. Whatever. Rant over. I’ll edit that out.

So. Ghosts and mystery and intrigue. Woo.

Y’know, maybe Mae’s caught up in this mystery, actually, cuz—well, she only showed up after all that happened. Maybe she’s, like—maybe she’s a ghost. That’s the nightmare, honestly, being in love with a ghost. Like, second only to her being straight? Worst case scenario.

I could write a solid one act about being in love with a ghost and, like, protag comes to accept that she’s dead and is willing to make this work, but ghost girl’s like, “Oh, too bad, don’t like girls. Sorry, honey!” And that’s the plot twist. Sad ending. A tragicomedy for everyone.

But. Incorporeal Girlfriend and playwriting dreams aside, it is weird that she showed up, cuz—we never get new juniors, especially not midyear? So. It’s not entirely out there that she’s involved. Put her pic up next to the X-Files poster, connect ‘em with red yarn. For love symbolism.

Also, she’s like, otherworldly-ly attractive, so. That contributes to Benji’s alien theory. Also, Benji? I don’t care about your alien theory. Or that you wrote your thesis on aliens. Or that you—

Ugh. Just. The email thread is very long and you aren’t Agent David Duchovny On The X-Files I Don’t Know The Character Name But Oh Boy Do I Know Who David Duchovny Is. Also, use the goddamn group chat? Some of us don’t ever check our emails. And I know you’re gonna call me blasphemous or something for not knowing the X-Files guy’s name, which, yeah, I did that on purpose.

So, um, I was helping out the lighting designer—Ollie, the other day, because if the show looks like shit it’s my fault somehow, and they kept asking me about purple lights. I forgot about this, like—

Wait.

God, I can’t stop thinking about the board, actually. I don’t know why I didn’t say anything. I’m—I’m pretty self-aware, I would have said something. I’m me, for God’s sake, I would’ve said something half-charming and half-assholey, and then I would’ve been kicked out, and I would’ve, uh, maybe tried to pick a physical fight, and then—yeah. You know the deal. I told the Starbucks story earlier. I think—I think they somehow stopped me from saying anything, like—just like that force wouldn’t let me lie or let go of AJ’s hand or fight back—there’s always an inability to do something.

I swear, if this interferes with the show, I’ll fight God. Or whatever force is out there, like—I will press legal charges against fate or destiny or the passage of time or aliens or whatever the fuck. And also punch it.

The lighting designer stuff—that’s just me being paranoid, but the—the board, that’s real, and I’m scared as hell. I’m gonna—I’m gonna maybe do some recon, re: that, get those costume slash makeup design elective credits I’ve been trying for. I haven’t taken the class, because it’s seniors only and also because Ms. Dunkers hates me because her nephew accused me of selling him fake Rent tickets, which, I didn’t know they were fake, so, he can’t blame me, so she won’t let me in her classes anymore. She has explicitly told admin that “Miss Cranor-Liu is not to enroll in any of my electives no matter how much she complains to you.” So I asked admin, like, can I just do a bunch of independent studies, and I think they’re afraid of me? So they said yes.

Anyway.

I’m gonna sneak in on next week’s board meeting as an interested potential transfer student. Need an alias, and you know that it will be Faith Deathstrike. Which is an unfortunate last name, but a badass codename.

So. Uh. I’m signing off. Come to the show, week of February twentieth at the Corelli auditorium, and watch me get possessed by an actual ghost during my solo, or whatever. And if I get ritually sacrificed at the board meeting, now you know what led up to my disappearance! This is basically Serial, now, but in real time, right?

Anyway. Cool. Thanks. Bye.

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #373

Top Ten Thoughts on Avengers: Endgame

Spoilers ahoy!

It’s the end of an era as Avengers: Endgame is finally upon us. As I write this, I’m less than 24 hours out of the cinema and it’s still all percolating within my brain. This Top Ten, then, will be an almost stream-of-consciousness outpouring of my joy, sadness, and occasional twinge of disappointment at what is unquestionably a phenomenal end to the Infinity Saga, a satisfying sequel to Infinity War, and a whole lot of fan-service.

Like I said: SPOILERS AHOY.

“Five Years Later”: it was a long film. Three hours long. but crucially, it does not feel three hours. It feels big, weighty, epic, but it does not feel long. to say it’s considerably longer than the previous Avengers movies, it just flies by. In this way, it’s similar to the Lord of the Rings movies; breadth and depth but still a lot of pace.

“Move on”: the five-year time-jump was a little bit of a surprise (I didn’t think it would be quite that long), but it helped sell a universe torn apart by the aftermath of The Snap. What I was not expecting was for them to live with it. Okay, so the departed people came back, but won’t that cause its own problems? This is not the world we entered in 2008 when Tony Stark was blown up in the desert; it’s not even the world we left in 2012 after a stunted alien invasion of New York. Some people will have tried to move on, perhaps forging new relationships, just to find their old lovers returned. Younger siblings will suddenly become older siblings. People will have lost jobs and houses. It’s rather fortunate that, from the looks of things, Peter Parker’s entire class was snapped out of existence and then returned, otherwise he’d be a lot younger than his co-stars in Far From Home. Anyway, not just undoing the time-jump was a brave decision and sets the stage for some potentially interesting stories going forward.

“It has to be me”: I went in expecting deaths, and I was surprised. I was expecting a bloodbath, and it was actually relatively muted. I was surprised that Vision didn’t get resurrected, less surprised that Gamora (sort of) did, astounded that Nebula survived, and blindsided by Black Widow. I don’t think it’s just because she’s got her own movie out next year, but I honestly thought Black Widow would become the lynchpin of a post-Captain America Avengers team. Hey, who knows? Maybe she will…

“I really tried to bring her back”: this is actually my mum’s theory (she’s a big Avengers fan), but what if Bruce was successful? When he snapped his fingers, he wanted to resurrect Natasha, but claims he was unsuccessful. What if he’s wrong, and she is back, somehow? Perhaps compromised, perhaps changed? Maybe her solo film will be about bringing her back to the light.

“I knew it!”: I was practically crying with giddy joy when Cap lifted Mjolnir. The fact that Thor had expected it, and was actually pleased by it, was just delightful. But Cap’s fight with Thanos, armed with both his shield and Thor’s hammer, was just a fantastic piece of fan-servicing fantasy cinema. I kinda wished they’d gone whole hog and given him his own Iron Man armour to boot.

“Your majesty”: Thor’s development in this film was interesting, as he was almost used as comic relief. His depression made total sense given not only that he blamed himself for not stopping Thanos in time, but also the scale of the loss he’d suffered prior to, and during, Infinity War. All the same, it was a bit of shame to see the character he’d developed in Ragnarok rolled back a little bit, even if it does set him up for some nice solo adventures down the line (perhaps he’ll feature in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, and I really hope Taika Waititi gets to make another Thor solo movie too). But considering how Loki stole the show in the first Thor and Avengers movies, and how The Dark World and Age of Ultron were a little disappointing (in different ways) in regard to the God of Thunder, the strength of Thor’s story arc and what’s being asked of Chris Hemsworth in the role is a huge improvement and bodes well for the future.

“I am Iron Man”: if I’d put money down, I’d have said Cap dies for-real in the film, but Tony gets his own stand-alone Logan-esque swansong. That was not to be; Cap survives, sorta, and Tony really does make the sacrifice play and die saving the world. Whilst I’m disappointed he didn’t get to say goodbye on his own terms, as far as last stands go, that was phenomenal. A great call-back to one of the most famous moments in the MCU, a brilliant use of his OP armour’s capabilities, and just a really cool image. Totally Tony, totally Avengers, totally the end. Sob.

“You gonna tell me about her?” Steve Rogers totally deserved his happy ending, and if he hadn’t somehow ended up with Peggy Carter, then I’d have been a little bit disappointed. But I just don’t buy that Captain America would choose to retire. Did he get stuck in the past? Did he decide to fight crime in the 40s and 50s? And if so, did he try to do anything about Bucky or Hydra? Or did he know that that future was his past and so, as Bruce and Nebula explained, he was powerless to change it? Regardless, the fact that what we saw in the film was, essentially, Cap quitting, it left a slightly sour taste in the mouth, even though him handing the shield to Sam was a triumphant passing of the torch. Oh, and one more thought on this topic: in the Russo brothers’ first film for Marvel (The Winter Soldier), Peggy says something about how Steve was even instrumental in introducing her to her husband (I paraphrase); I wonder if, even back then, the endgame (ho ho) for Cap was always going to be “go back in time and marry Peggy”?

“That really is America’s ass”: let’s not get too mired in the mud here, despite my “Cap don’t quit!” niggles. Because as big and epic and tragic as the film was, it was also hilarious. I really didn’t expect it to be quite as funny as it was (I’m not sure why, all the previous Avengers movies have been pretty funny). I was quite pleased at how much humour Captain America was given; his exasperated “I know, I know” when his younger self trotted out the “I can do this all day line” was another delight.

“Assemble”: just like Cap wielding Mjolnir, there’s a certain geeky thrill just to hear him say those words. But the army of Avengers emerging from Strange’s portals was a phenomenal sight to behold, and it’s really exciting to see where the MCU goes from here. Captain Marvel has essentially declared her domain to be space; likewise, Thor is off with the Guardians for the time being; Black Panther is busy being King of Wakanda; Iron Man and Black Widow are dead. So who do we have, the next time the Avengers need to Assemble? Sam Wilson’s Captain America; the Scarlet Witch; Spider-Man; And-Man and the Wasp; The Winter Soldier, maybe; I guess Doctor Strange; perhaps Valkyrie? And then save the big guns for when they’re needed? Anyway, it’s just fun speculating at this stage.

Okay, there we are, ten thoughts off the top of my head. It’s funny sometimes that a movie can be so bloody good but the thing that sticks is the niggles (like, where was Lady Sif at the end?! And I feel bad that they couldn’t find room for Paul Bettany just so he could get a lovely little pictorial send-off in the credits). It’s such an achievement, the likes of which I don’t think we’ve seen before and I wonder if we’ll see again. Just in the same way that Avengers united several heroes who’d (mostly) starred in their own movies, and we got to see them join up and interact in a way that cinema hadn’t shown before, Endgame gives us an epic series finale of a film, one that is dependent upon the 21 films that came before it and the hours and hours of character development devoted to its stars. Where do they go from here? Which heroes get their sequels, which new heroes do they recruit? Will we ever see more of Steve Rogers? Will a new generation – Squirrel Girl, Ms. Marvel, Ironheart – take centre stage? What will be the over-arching connective tissue that, in ten years’ time, leads to another epoch-shattering Avengers smackdown? And how – how, how, how – do they incorporate Deadpool, the Fantastic Four, and the X-Men?! I’ve no idea (well, I’ve got lots of ideas but they’re probably wrong) – but it’ll sure be fun finding out.

Oh, and there’s still no sign of Death’s Head.

[xtruss]

Britain’s delusions that it could take on the Taliban alone are ludicrous - what are our empire-nostalgic MPs smoking?

— Published: 19 Aug 2021 | RT

Britain's Prime Minister Boris Johnson speaks during a debate in parliament on the situation in Afghanistan in London, Britain August 18, 2021. © Reuters / UK Parliament / Roger Harris

Politicians think that the answer to 20 years of military failure in Afghanistan is, er, more war – and that we should send troops back without US support. Given we couldn’t even hold Helmand last time, this is just fantasy.

On Wednesday the British parliament reconvened in an emergency session to allow MPs to vent their spleen over the situation in Afghanistan. It was a scene of self-righteous and delusional posturing and indignation over why the UK had allowed the collapse of the Kabul government and had been too subservient in following the United States.

No, not a session of regret, remorse and acceptance that Britain has wasted 20 years in another pointless conflict, but largely one promulgating the notion that “more war” was the answer to the Afghan ‘problem’, even though two decades of fighting had achieved precisely nothing, save death and defeat. And this new war is apparently to be conducted independent of the US.

For a moment, it seemed we might have been back in 1842, when Parliament debated Britain’s first military humiliation in Afghanistan, after an entire British invasion force of around 16,000 troops and civilians had been annihilated. Except the MPs back then accepted and faced reality: as one MP in June, 1842, put it, it had been an expedition full of “folly and injustice” and Britain was now “reaping bitter fruits, and suffering a severe but just retribution”.

Oh, for such common sense from MPs this week. But instead, the usual buzzword phrases of “our responsibility” and “our duty” were strung around, as if to assume Britain could only ever act out of righteousness and mission in its foreign policy as opposed to the soul-searching of past imperialism. This was not just from Tories, but also from the so-called ‘opposition’, the neoconservative Blairite Labour Party under Keir Starmer, which, in negating the legacy of Jeremy Corbyn, has become even more ravenously pro-war.

Our fantasizing MPs – always willing to send young men to their deaths from the comfort of their green-leather benches – either know nothing of history or ignore it. They talk blithely and ridiculously of Britain going “back in” to Afghanistan to nobly save women and young girls from Taliban rule, but forget that our soldiers couldn’t even hold Helmand – just one province out of 34 in the country.

In fact, during their eight years there between 2006–2014, besieged British troops could only control tiny fractions of that province. As Frank Ledwidge, a former military intelligence officer, wrote in his illuminating book, Losing Small Wars: British Military Failure in Iraq and Afghanistan, it was “luminously clear from the daily reports that British forces controlled only the area a few hundred metres from the barrels of the machine-guns guarding our beleaguered bases”.

It’s as if Britain's lawmakers don’t actually understand what Britain’s foreign policy has been for the last 75 years, or at least pretend not to. It’s never been about “assuming leadership” or acting as an independent power anymore; those days are long gone.

The policy is simply to “follow the United States”, like a faithful poodle on his master’s lead, in the miscalculation that this always constitutes the “national interest”. There has never been more to our foreign policy than that. And as much as the MPs berate Boris Johnson’s apparent lack of leadership, they are foolish to think it could have been done in any other way.

The MPs dramatically inflate the potential impact the UK could have posed to the outcome should it have defied the US, and continued with a military mission in Afghanistan. Ironically, former Prime Minister Theresa May challenged this notion, but not on the conviction that Britain should stop being Washington’s drone or act in a realistic manner, but that it should be independently more hawkish in its pursuits, especially in tackling ‘China’ and ‘Russia’.

All of this is so utterly delusional that the men in white coats should be swiftly sent to Westminster to help the inmates. Let me see if I can spell it out too these MPs in some simple words: When you can be militarily defeated by a few rag-tag terrorists in the inhospitable terrain of Helmand province, you’re not going to stand much chance against the People’s Liberation Army or the Spetsnaz. Sorry.

Britain is not capable of “ruling the waves” anymore and is better off just avoiding such adventurous pursuits altogether, and should stop spouting the whitewashed mythology of British imperialism, which was firmly on display here this week.

In the midst of all this vapid neoconservative venting, what the debate desperately and concerningly lacked was a soul-searching introspection into the legacy of Britain’s recent military adventures. And, in particular, a proper study of the damage done by Blairism, where the ever self-serving sycophant Tony Blair devoutely followed Washington into destructive conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq, the latter of which was illegal under international law, even when other European countries rejected the idea.

There was scant condemnation of him or George W. Bush this week. Instead of recognizing how these conflicts caused the deaths of hundreds of British and American soldiers and tens of thousands of Afghans, and became conduits for terrorism and radicalisation back home, the voices who dominated the session were adamant that only more war, more occupation, and more conflict were the answers.

How exactly has any of this been in Britain’s national interest? And how would it be in its national interest to single-handedly fight the Taliban alone without the military muscle of the US? Are the lives of our young men that expendable? The speech of Tom Tugenhadt, a military veteran turned MP, got plaudits it really didn’t deserve. He is one of the most unapologetically pro-war voices in the House of Commons and seems happy for ever more British young men to perish in fighting a force they are not capable of defeating.

For elite former army officers like him, all this is easy enough to say, but what about the 19-year-old young man from my hometown who died in this war? Are lives such as his expendable? The solution that Britain should not have been in Afghanistan in the first place never seems to pass their minds.

They don’t regret the Afghanistan war, only that it has ended, and the messy manner of it. Should 20 years have been extended to 30, or even 40? That seemed to be the real message on display at Westminster. These MPs not only do not know the realistic limits of Britain’s foreign policy, they don’t seem to understand what “national interest” truly is.

To pretend British policy is based on upholding values is just an outright fabrication, propagated by the triumphalism of beating Germany twice, victories which allowed us to rewrite the crimes of our imperial past.

Nazism was more evil than us, therefore everything we did that was bad is annulled, right? But the history books don’t lie, and the British imperial way has long been to use force to promote its commercial and economic interest, and then to mask that with the justification of values. So that the legacy of the Empire is rewritten, not as an exploitative force designed to extract wealth from other countries, but as an enlightened mission to bring civilization and enlightenment to the heathens.

For all the UK’s talk about women's rights in Afghanistan, they have been otherwise content to ignore these completely in its close relationship with Saudi Arabia, which has a similar, if not as extreme, outlook on gender. To pretend the UK was in Afghanistan purely as a sense of altruistic duty to help that country’s populace is also a fanciful claim. The US invaded in its “national interest”, it left in its “national interest” – and the UK never opposes what the US wants, it’s as simple as that; there are no values involved. Are we really not capable of understanding that?

British lawmakers should have been regretting they were ever involved in all these conflicts, not whipping up rage demanding more of them. The problem is that the UK has no sense of pragmatism or reality about its role in the world, and nor is it willing to come to terms with its sycophancy to the US, even when it is obvious that it is not in its national interests to do so. The last Prime Minister to see sense in this matter was Harold Wilson, who snubbed the Vietnam War.

But since then, London has heeded Washington’s call every single time, even when it has not been appropriate to do so, and the capitulation seems to stem from a ridiculously inflated sense of status and a denial of who really calls the shots. Boris Johnson did what Gordon Brown, Tony Blair, John Major, Margaret Thatcher et al would have done when a US president said, “Time’s up, let's go!”

It’s time for some honesty – about our limitations and capabilities, our place in the world, our dysfunctional relationship with Washington, and our past misdeeds and mistakes. But will that ever happen? I doubt it.

[your-dietician]

JD Vance, author of 'Hillbilly Elegy,' enters large, pro-Trump GOP field for Ohio Senate seat

New Post has been published on https://depression-md.com/jd-vance-author-of-hillbilly-elegy-enters-large-pro-trump-gop-field-for-ohio-senate-seat/

JD Vance, author of 'Hillbilly Elegy,' enters large, pro-Trump GOP field for Ohio Senate seat

At a kickoff rally Thursday night in his hometown of Middletown, near Cincinnati, Vance delivered a populist message, with large corporations, big tech firms and “public health leadership” in the crosshairs. He also promised to fight for the grandmothers who believe in a secure border and for the “middle-class worker.”

“I want to be not just a fighter, but a fighter who’s fighting for you,” Vance said from behind a lectern where, moments before his announcement, a campaign sign had fallen down.

“There has never been a Republican primary for statewide office in Ohio this wide open and this chaotic,” said one Republican strategist familiar with Ohio. “Each one of these candidates has their own claim to the Republican base.”

The knives were already out for Vance before the 36-year-old venture capitalist joined the race. Earlier this week, Ohio Republicans received anonymous text messages blasting Vance as a “Never Trumper.” The texts are similar to a flurry of messages sent to voters in April,denouncing Vance shortly after he announced he was exploring a Senate run.

Most Ohio Republicans doubt Trump will endorse until closer to the May 3 primary next year, but the fight over his mantle is on. Mandel, for instance, has taken on the role of pro-Trump culture warrior, releasing a video last month of himself burning a protective mask to protest Covid-19 restrictions. The more establishment-aligned Timken can point to Trump’s support for her as Ohio GOP chair in January 2017. And Vance has taken up Trump’s criticisms of “Big Tech” — aligning him with the Trump donor and Silicon Valley gadfly Peter Thiel, who earlier this year pledged $10 million to a pro-Vance super PAC.

Trump’s centrality in the GOP primary reflects how the former president remains a political force in the Buckeye State. Trump won the state twice, earning more than 3 million votes in 2020 and improving his share of the vote from four years earlier by 2 percentage points.

Once considered a perennial swing state, Ohio has trended toward the GOP for the past decade. In that time, Republicans have held every state executive office and the majorities in both houses of the state legislature. Since 2010, only two Democrats have been able to win statewide in Ohio: Barack Obama in his 2012 reelection bid and Sen. Sherrod Brown, who won reelection in 2012 and again in 2018.

Trump’s ascendance has accelerated the GOP’s takeover, allowing the party to corner the White working-class vote that Democrats have struggled to keep in the fold. Amid their own primary battle, Republicans are trying to define the Democrats’ leading candidate, Rep. Tim Ryan, as someone who is captured by his party’s left wing and out of touch with Ohioans.

“As Tim Ryan seeks a promotion, he is trending more and more leftward to appease his liberal bosses — Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, AOC and Bernie Sanders,” said Lizzie Litzow of the National Republican Senatorial Committee. “He is in lockstep with these radicals on issues like open borders that have led to the outrageous crisis at our Southern Border and abolishing the filibuster — a blatant power grab.”

Hoping for a reversal in their fortunes, Democrats in Ohio and nationally are counting on a chaotic and messy Republican primary to give their nominee a chance.

“Their chaos is our opportunity,” said Liz Walters, chair of the Ohio Democratic Party. “These Republican candidates are so desperately running their campaigns for an audience of one, for Trump.”

Ryan declined to be interviewed for this story.

Vying for Trump’s base

This competition came to a head in Wellington, Ohio, on Saturday, where each of the top Republican candidates treated Trump’s rally at the Lorain County Fairgrounds as a proving ground.

Leading into the rally, Timken ran a radio ad touting her Trump credentials. On the day of, she had a plane flying over the rallygoers touting her campaign and had campaign volunteers around the event to meet voters. Gibbons hosted a pro-Trump tailgate before the rally and had volunteers and the event. Both Mandel and Moreno took a more casual approach to the event — they attended but mostly just mingled with people.

Trump — in Ohio to kick off his revenge tour against Republicans who haven’t been loyal to him — clearly enjoyed the competition vying for his base’s support.

Standing on stage deep into his rally, the former President began to play up the divisions.

“Hey, do you want to take a poll,” Trump exclaimed about the Senate race, throwing the crowd of supporters into the contentious affair.

When Trump mentioned Timken, the former state party chair earned a smattering of cheers, groans and boos. Mandel, who has tailored his campaign narrowly to Trump’s base, earned more hearty applause, while the response to Gibbons — more of an unknown in the race — was more muted. The former President, seemingly sensing the divisions, said, “I think we’ll get out of this poll stuff,” before mentioning Moreno.

The tension at the Trump rally was just the latest — and possibly most public — chapter of an already frenzied race, one that has seen the candidates already fighting.

The frontrunners

Mandel, the 43-year-old Marine veteran, is considered the current frontrunner even by those supporting his rivals. Thanks to his two terms as state treasurer, he has high name identification and connections with conservative groups and leaders in Ohio.

Mandel also brings a considerable amount of campaign dollars — more than $4 million — left unspent from his short-lived 2018 run for Senate, when he dropped out months before the primary.

“If the election were today, Josh would win,” said one adviser to another GOP candidate.

But Mandel is also facing headwinds in the early months of his current campaign. The Columbus Dispatch reported in May that three of Mandel’s fundraisers had left the campaign, followed by a report this week that two of those staff members departed because of a “toxic work environment” created by Mandel’s girlfriend and finance director, Rachel Wilson.

Mandel declined to comment to CNN about those reports.

Mandel’s most direct competition appears to be Timken, who comes to the race without the experience in elected office but with a formidable organization — including committee chairs in all of Ohio’s 88 counties. Timken also has access to financial and political resources through her husband, Tim Timken, a former steel executive who is a lobbyist in Columbus.

Timken has faulted other candidates “who have based President Trump, refused to campaign for him or quit the tough fights” — something she has done regularly on campaign literature that calls out her opponents by name. Mandel has regularly attacked Timken, casting her as someone not entirely loyal to Trump and tying her to former Ohio Gov. John Kasich, a Republican who has drawn the ire of Trump loyalists.

Much of Mandel’s focus on Timken has centered around Rep. Anthony Gonzalez, the Republican congressman who voted in favor of impeaching Trump earlier this year. The Ohio Republican Party later censured Gonzalez and called for him to resign.

Timken carefully defended Gonzalez after his vote, touting his record as a legislator and opening up a line of attack for Mandel.

“Question: Why did Jane Timken refuse to censure Gonzalez when she was Chairman? She clearly had time to do so,” Mandel tweeted in May. “So what’s the real reason?”

A ‘different kind of candidate’

Vance enters the Senate race as something of a wild card. Known primarily for his best-selling memoir Hillbilly Elegy, the Yale Law School graduate and venture capitalist has emerged as an authoritative voice on the White-working class that makes up the base of Trump’s support in the GOP.

But Vance’s political fate could come down to how he talks about his transformation on Trump, who he publicly opposed in 2016 before reversing his position in 2020.

During the 2016 campaign, Vance wrote in USA Today, “Trump’s actual policy proposals, such as they are, range from immoral to absurd.” The same year, as it became clear Trump would become the GOP presidential nominee, Vance wrote in The Atlantic that “Trump is cultural heroin,” who “makes some feel better for a bit.”

“He cannot fix what ails them, and one day they’ll realize it,” added Vance.

As the anonymous text message demonstrates, Vance is already facing attacks for his past opposition to Trump. Some of that will come from the national conservative movement, which has begun to coalesce around Mandel. The Club for Growth’s political action committee, which endorsed Mandel in March, released a statement Wednesday night going after Vance.

“He claims to be a Trump Republican, but in the short time Mr. Vance has been active in politics he’s spent the bulk of it tearing down President Trump and mocking Trump voters,” said the Club’s president, David McIntosh.

Nevertheless, Vance’s allies say he is the most authentic candidate in the field because he can express so well why Trump became president. (They also point out that some of his opponents, including Mandel, first supported other Republicans in the 2016 Ohio presidential primary.)

Earlier this year, Vance met with Trump at Mar-a-Lago. He also attended his rally last week in Ohio. And his connection with Thiel may further help soften any bad feelings Trump could have for Vance.

A spokesman for the Thiel-backed super PAC, Protect Ohio Values, told CNN that Vance “believes deeply in President Trump’s America First agenda and is laser focused on fighting for policies that will benefit Ohio’s mighty Middle Class.”

“Ohioans want elected leaders with the spine to stand up to Washington’s corrupt political class and we’re confident that JD Vance is the only candidate in this race who fits that bill,” added the spokesman.

The Republican strategist familiar with Ohio called Vance a “different kind of candidate” with an idiosyncratic style and issue-set who could break out if primary voters find themselves underwhelmed by Mandel and Timken.

That jibes with the overwhelming sense from Ohio Republicans that, barring an intervention by Trump, anything could happen.

“This could be the wildest primary of the cycle,” said the GOP strategist.

This story has been updated with Vance’s remarks Thursday evening.

CNN’s Manu Raju contributed to this report.

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Short-Sellers Fear for the Future Wall Street’s skeptics are suffering Short-sellers have long been some of Wall Street’s most reviled villains. But the recent “meme stock” frenzy — in part, a concerted effort to squeeze such investors — has left many fearing for their livelihoods, The Times’s Kate Kelly and Matt Goldstein report. Short-sellers have been battered by the bull market. Hedge funds that primarily bet against stocks were down 47 percent over the past year. “Short-sellers have been beaten up and left for dead on the side of the road,” said Jim Chanos, the investor who famously bet against Enron ahead of its collapse. Now they are worried about new challenges: The GameStop frenzy shows that internet-enabled herds can bet en masse on companies, driving up their stock price and saddling shorts with huge losses. “I see dead hedge funds,” one user posted in a Reddit forum. Washington lawmakers are holding shorts up as potential market manipulators. “We must deal with the hedge funds whose unethical conduct directly led to the recent market volatility,” said Representative Maxine Waters, a Democrat, the head of the House Financial Services Committee who will oversee a Feb. 18 hearing on the meme stock mania. Crowded trades and a bull market have “destroyed what’s left of short-sellers,” said Marc Cohodes, a veteran investor. Some worry about their personal safety, too. Fahmi Quadir, who runs a $50 million hedge fund, shares her GPS coordinates with a colleague. And Gabe Plotkin, whose Melvin Capital was specifically targeted by Reddit traders, had to hire security after his family was threatened. HERE’S WHAT’S HAPPENING A setback in the fight against Covid-19. South Africa halted distribution of AstraZeneca’s coronavirus vaccine after a preliminary study showed that it had limited effect against the coronavirus variant first identified in the country. President Biden presses for a huge stimulus measure. The president defended efforts to pass a $1.9 trillion package with only Democratic votes, rejecting calls for smaller proposals. In related news, Democrats plan to unveil a $3,000-per-child cash payment. Democratic senators propose rewriting a tech legal shield. The “SAFE TECH Act,” proposed by Senator Mark Warner of Virginia, would establish limits to websites’ immunity from legal liability on user-posted content. It has encountered resistance from groups that say smaller tech platforms could be hurt more than giants like Google and Facebook. SoftBank’s Vision Fund posts a huge quarterly gain. The Japanese company’s tech investment fund reported an $8 billion profit in its latest quarter, thanks to portfolio companies like OpenDoor and DoorDash going public. SoftBank as a whole reported an $11 billion profit, surpassing estimates. The best of the Super Bowl. Sure, Tom Brady solidified his status as the greatest quarterback of all time as he led the Tampa Bay Buccaneers to a blowout victory over the Kansas City Chiefs. But let’s talk about the ads, which included pleas for unity (Bruce Springsteen for Jeep), nostalgic weirdness (Timothée Chalamet as the son of Edward Scissorhands for Cadillac) and just plain old weirdness (Toni Petersson, the C.E.O. of Oatly). Andrew’s favorite: Jason Alexander, in a manner of speaking, for Tide. Where do you get your financial advice? As lawmakers and regulators investigate the meme stock frenzy, they are taking a closer look at online forums and social media accounts. Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen said yesterday that she wanted to “make sure that investors are adequately protected.” Disclosures and disclaimers are in focus. The trader known as “Roaring Kitty” put a disclaimer on his popular YouTube videos about GameStop, recommending that potential investors consult an adviser before acting. But an analysis of more than 1,200 TikTok videos by 50 “StockTok” influencers found that 14 percent encouraged users to make trades without a disclaimer, according to the cryptocurrency trading platform Paxful. Those videos, some of which were flagged by TikTok as “misleading,” have garnered 28.4 million views. Regulators have been here before. During the dot-com boom, the S.E.C. kept tabs on chat rooms for signs of manipulation, as in the case of Jonathan Lebed, a teenager who posted messages touting stocks he owned. In September 2000, he settled with the agency by agreeing to pay back $285,000. There’s an ETF for that: The asset manager VanEck is starting a fund that scours Twitter, forums and blogs for stocks with a lot of online buzz. “The elements in the new system consist of central computers, an automatic communications network and desktop terminals.” — On this day 50 years ago, the Nasdaq booted up the first electronic stock exchange, which The Times called “the most revolutionary innovation in the history of the over-the-counter market.” Microsoft’s president talks politics After the Jan. 6 riot in Washington, companies have been rethinking their political donations, as we detailed this weekend. Microsoft, which has given hundreds of thousands of dollars in recent election cycles to Republicans who went on to challenge the certification of votes after the storming of the Capitol, said late last week that it would cut them off. In the first in-depth interview about the decision, Microsoft’s president, Brad Smith, spoke with Kara Swisher on the “Sway” podcast. One donation came as a particularly unpleasant surprise, Mr. Smith said, referring to a gift to Senator Josh Hawley, who led Republican efforts to question the election result. “When I learned in January that that donation had been made in the early part of December, it did not bring an enthusiastic beginning to my morning,” said Mr. Smith, who leaves day-to-day decisions in this area to the company’s PAC department. Microsoft has redefined its PAC policies. Mr. Smith said the company would now more explicitly consider issues like whether politicians “are good for democracy.” There is still a place for the corporate PAC, Mr. Smith argued. Although the point of a corporate PAC is up for debate, “I think we have one for good reasons,” he said. Those reasons, namely, are because crucial matters of privacy, security and competition are “going to be decided in the world of politics.” The serial SPAC sponsor Alec Gores strikes another deal The blank-check company Gores Holding VI is acquiring Matterport in a deal that values the real-estate technology company at $2.3 billion. The merger also includes a cash infusion of $640 million. Alec Gores was early to the SPAC game, notably with his firm’s 2016 deal for Hostess. The firm also boasts the biggest SPAC deal to date, taking United Wholesale Mortgage public last year in a deal worth more than $16 billion. Gores Holding raised its seventh SPAC last month, helping January set a record for SPAC fund-raising, with blank-check I.P.O.s worth nearly $26 billion. Today’s deal was the first by Gores since Justin Wilson and Ted Fike joined from Softbank’s Vision Fund, suggesting a tech shift for the firm’s SPAC business. Matterport makes spatial data technology that helps create 3-D visualizations of properties like homes and event spaces. The week ahead Corporate earnings continue to come in better than expected, defying initial forecasts of another pandemic-fueled decline and forcing analysts to upgrade their expectations. Blue-chip companies hoping to keep the streak alive this week include: Fox, KKR and Twitter on Tuesday; Coca-Cola, G.M. and Uber on Wednesday; and AstraZeneca, Disney and PepsiCo on Thursday. Bumble is scheduled to make its market debut midweek, and is predicted to raise about $1 billion in an I.P.O. that values the online dating company at around $6 billion. And finally, the second impeachment trial of former President Donald Trump starts on Tuesday. Will Biden curb the ‘curse of bigness’? The Biden administration must choose between taking a progressive view of antitrust regulations, using the law to rein in or break up big companies; sticking with the laissez-faire approach that critics say has led to extreme concentration; or trying to find some middle path. The pressure on the president from the left comes from those who argue that a tougher approach simply hearkens to the past, when the authorities recognized what Louis Brandeis, who went on to become a Supreme Court justice, called the “curse of bigness” in the early 20th century. “Monopoly power is a causal factor in our most serious economic challenges,” states a new report from the American Economic Liberties Project, an antimonopoly nonprofit, shared first with DealBook. The group argues for a new-old ideological regime that reins in consolidation, proposing dozens of actions for the Justice Department, F.T.C., F.C.C., Congress and many other official bodies. “This is a major project,” the group’s executive director, Sarah Miller, said. The need to “reject old ideological underpinnings” is a unifying theme throughout the report, she added. “There is not just one silver bullet.” A new lens is needed, Ms. Miller said. For decades, antitrust reviews have employed a “consumer welfare standard” that examines mergers for economic efficiency, mostly focused on the effect a deal has on prices. But people aren’t just consumers — they are also workers, voters, entrepreneurs and community members. In practice, Ms. Miller argues, as industries consolidate, consumers sometimes pay less for products, but wages also stagnate and entrepreneurship falters. “America’s concentration crisis did not emerge in the Trump years,” but it deepened during this time, according to the report. The group compiled a downloadable database of more than 1,300 significant mergers during the Trump era, noting that “basic, usable information” about M.&A. is mostly unavailable to the public. THE SPEED READ Deals In SPAC news: Elliott Management is reportedly considering raising $1 billion for a blank-check fund; SoftBank is seeking $630 million for two SPACs; and Danny Meyer, the founder of Shake Shack, is planning to raise $250 million for a fund. (WSJ, Bloomberg) Oatly, the maker of plant-based dairy products, is reportedly seeking a $10 billion valuation in its I.P.O. (Bloomberg) Politics and policy Donald Trump’s efforts to contest the 2020 presidential election have cost federal, state and local governments an estimated $519 million. (WaPo) Tech Best of the rest Bill McGlashan, the former TPG executive embroiled in the college admissions scandal, will plead guilty to two charges. (Bloomberg) Jeff Immelt accepts some blame for G.E.’s stumbles — but offers a lot of excuses, too. (NYT) Clawing back pay for misconduct is hard, so some companies are forcing top executives to set aside share grants for at least a year, even after they vest. (WSJ) We’d like your feedback! Please email thoughts and suggestions to dealbook@nytimes.com. Source link Orbem News #Fear #Future #ShortSellers