#hough... i lvoe them..

[ask-spiderpool]

Hey. I have. A thing for you. It's not very related to the blog and I actually debated for quite a while if it was worth it to send it. But. Well I did draw this because of your blog. so. enjoy?

[ID/ A collection of three panels sketched in purple featuring DP with various Muppets.

In the first one DP sits in the theatre booth between Statler and Waldorf. He's barely able to fit in the booth, his legs folded to his chest. He sighs dreamily exclaiming "Don't you guys [caps] love [/caps] a happy ending?" as he accidentally tips his popcorn bag over Statler and himself.

In the second he enthusiastically poses in a frilly dress while holding Miss Piggy with one hand. She says "Honey, you're too [caps] eager [/caps], you have to let them chase you", to which he responds "But I [caps] crave [/caps] the attention....!"

In the last one DP seductively leans on the table while Kermit signs a contract. DP rambles "This morning I [caps] throughly [/caps] prepared myself for this. / Took out the [caps] big [/caps] toys. / Didn't want you to be the only one with [hidden by Kermit's speech bubble] up your [hidden]". Kermit speaks over him to someone out of frame "Is it too late to cancel this?" /End ID]

And a cuddle!!

[ID/ A sketch in the same style of Spider-Man hugging DP like a koala, his legs stretched at DP's sides. Spider-man smiles happily as he lays his head against DP's, but DP's expression is unknown since he's only shown from the back /End ID]

[popculturebuffet]

Close Enough Reviews: First Date and Snailin’ It

We’re in the home stretch thank god! Seriously while I do love this show, doing 13 reviews in one day, even as most are easy to bang out, has been exausting. But the thank god is also because we’ve arrived at my faviorite episode so far and.. er another one but at least it has Noel Fielding! That’s really awesome!  This time around Josh and Emily try to recapture the magic of their first date only to end up in one of the good Blumhouse movies, while Bridgette brings Josh along on an awkward first date. Then Emily gets the help of a snail’s magical hat to juggle work and life. Snail yeah under hte cut. 

First Date: 

A fourtune teller is at the fourplex, another review of the series I recently read revealed that’s what their buildings called and I like the sound of it so i’m using that, predicting a weird romance for bridget, who belivies it’s a guy she’s been texing, and sometimes sexting in her words not mine, who she has a date with tonight while said psychic also reveals to Emily that things with her and josh have gotten bland, something emily realizes via a hilarous flashback of them making out while falling asleep repeadtly before both just conk out. Also randy has thunder pants, aka pants tha tmake thunde rnoises and have a giant lighting bolt cod piece. Your the second best randy. Andt hat’s only because Alex is still a character. 

So we have our two plots and unlike previous episodes and one future one the plots.. don’t dovetail. Which I like and I like a show being able to do two seperate plots in eleven minutes. We frankly need more of that. Bridgette has her date and Josh and Emily end up having theres. As such i’ll cover both seperatley. And since their plots a bit simplier let’s start with Josh and Emily.  Emily tries flirting with Josh before explaning it’s because she wants to bring the spice back. After josh bungles his response trying to say what she wants but just.. you know asking emily what she wants him to say which is never a good move in any conversation, Josh does near instantly rebound, texting emily to come to the close tfor a suprise. Granted since Josh, self admittley right after, admits he has no game, it come across as weird and creepy, but Emily appricates him trying and is touched when he reveals his real bring the sparks back romantic plan: a recreation of their first date, which was at a haunted house. Also for some reason Josh thought mr magoriums wonder emporium was a best picture contender. Never change josh, never change. But I genuinely like this: having a couple that while relaistically having a dry spell still lvoes each other: instead of worrying the relationship is dead as these plots tend to do they simply want to bring back the magic that’s sometimes lost when you work two jobs, raise a kid full time and live with two weirdos with little sense of personal space.  So they go and the reason it’s pretty simple is their subplot is the two having a mind screw being chased by various horrors in the house. As i’ve said I feel the series has more of a horror bent at times with some episodes leaning more into that than just goofy madness like regular show did. Regular Show really saved most of its straight up horror content for terror tales, here horror bits can crop up as much as fucking wacky bits. I mean a logan’s run parody where a man dies is paired up with a low speed train chase with a con arist that ends with her driving into a thermortor factory while choking her fake son. The show can ping pong on tone, but it does work.  But yeah that’s why there’s less to talk about: it’s not bad stuff, it’s super spooky including the end bit where their told they died, it’s just mostly the two of them running around a nightmare, that unsuprisngly turns out not to be real and was just the attraction, before a really touching climax when the two finally find each other run towards each other and realize just how horrifed they were at the thought of loosing one another. it’s really damn touching and romantic, and leads to another climax when the two start kissing before getting it on despite the horror house working telling them they have others coming. I’ts a good plot, I just don’t have a ton to anlyaize about it. it’s just really good and really good horror stuff with a satsifying and sweet ending.  On to our main event, Bridgette heads out to her date and TRIES lying to alex for his own sake.. but Alex not only easily guessed she was on a date in the first place but... isn’t bothered at all. He even offers to wing man while sining the firends theme song and clapping at the wrong time. Because he’s alex even when he’s being sweet and a good friend and ex, he can’t help but be just a BIT off.  Bridget goes to meet Ron.. and finds he’s sewn to his ex Joy... like literally sewn or conjoined as they put it. Bridgette freaks the fuck out but is talked by ron into continuing, partly because their getting it undone and partly because Bridgette herself admits Ron looked past her baggage.. even if his is larger, she can at least try to. Also Ron is voiced by Chris Parnell who, with archer delayed event hough i’m watching it again and having stopped wtching rick and morty, I dearly missed. Glad to have you back dude. I’m also unsuprised he’s in this as the man is in everything. He’s a fucking workhorse. 

Anyways Alex happily agrees, has his own brief freakout because bridget didn’t tell him about the conjoined twins thing despite being a room away, but quickly rebounds and.. actually hits it off with Joy. even better than Bridgette is with ron who she soon realizes won’t shut the hell up about hiking. Soon Bridgette.. is jealous. Both because Alex is moving on way easier and found someone way quicker, Joyce shares his weird taste in viking erotica, and because she may still have some feelings left. We saw a bit of that in “Robot Tutor”: Bridgette got jealous real quick when alex saw someone elsed espite them being there mostly as sex pals, and admitted there was still some unresolved stuff there they hadnt gotten past on both sides.  They hit the club and things continue to degrade, with Bridgette even more jealous because Alex never took her dancing. And being that bridg is a musician and loves clubbing and what not, i’ts pretty understandable to be frustrated with her ex talking about how it took someone else to get him to do the worm.. also Alex doing the worm is a sheeer delight. When the cojoined ex couple leave, with Ron once again bringing up climbing machu pichu because apparently it’s in chris parnells contract he can never play an actually likeable romantic intrest, Bridget tries to bail but Alex wants to stay since it’s not his fault his date is going well and her’s isn’t.  Bridgette makes the mistake of saying “If you like joy so much why don’t you just conjoin with her”.. and Alex being alex says “why dont’ I and we end up at conjoin, the place Ron and Joy got bonded in the first place. Ever since 1994, you won’t regret this. Actual signs up there and they are wonderful. Bridgette, still jealous even ifs he can’t stand ron offers to be conjoined to him both in a desperate attempt not to losoe alex and to one up him.  However Alex finally calls her out, as while he’s perfeclty happy for her to move on, as this episode showed.. she can’t stand to see him with someone else, and Ron wisley tells her he can’t be attached to someone who isn’t unattached from her ex. When bridgette counters with the oppsitie ron is suprisingly pogniant “We can detach from each other physically but you two can’t detach from each other spirtually”. WHile bridgette quips about him finally saying something intresting, he’s right. She’s not ready and this night clearly proved it and even if she was she was only doing this to show up Alex. Joy likewise breaks things off. a bit more abrubtly since Alex has’nt been nearly as obvious as bridgette.. but alex himself shows he too still has some feelings when he accidentlya dmits to having written an entire section of his memoir about her teeth. Would could be creepy or you know, standard alex ends up really sweet as Bridgette is not only touched by the gesture, but Alex explains why “THeir all the parts that make up your smile” The two share a look, Joy wants what they have and Ron wants to masturbate alone. The end. 

Sadly this isn’t followed up on yet, if at all if there isn’t more episodes next week, as the next ep with the two in it, the finale for today, has the two in seperate plots that only dovetail at the end. But this honestly feels like a posisble arc for the show; Will the two get back together and work past the issues that got them to divorce in the first place or stay divorced and move on? And regular show, with one exception i’ve ranted enough about and will again, was really good at romantic storylines eventually and this could be really intresting for a number of reasons. I’m realy hoping this isn’t just a one off ending, could be but we’ll hopefully see. Either way this episode is really damn good with both plots , while not intersecitng connecting thematically: ONe couple relives a horrifying mirorr version of their first date while a former couple goes on their first real date with other people since the split but finds they might not be as done as they thought. IT’s a good juxtopision and the whole conjoining bit is both horrifying and good Beisdes having my ship at the center i’ts just a damn good time and the best of the season so far (or at all atain the 8 episodes thing is really throwing me off). 

Snailed It: This one should go quicker as its a much simpler ep: Emily has been working way too much and neglecting Candace, including a crypt based board game they’ve been playing for her job because she’s being a doormat. however i’ts not unresonable since said job gives them health insurance which given their lives, they REALLY need. She’s being such a doormat because she’s understandably afraid if she stands up for herself it could risk her job and they’d loose important stuff.  Emily TRIES to juggle things by doing a charity garden/publicity stunt to distract thigns at the school btu the comination of extra work from her boss and the children not actually gardening makes it fail and candace more upset. Emily finds help in the most unlikely of places: A giant talking snail that offers to let her use his magic hat to speed up time and complete the garden in exchange for some of the veggies. He’s also voiced by nice dude and mighty boosh alum noel fielding in what hoenstly feels like a boosh character got out of that universe, if their not the same unvierse which is possible, and snuck into this one.  Emily accepts, and is tempted to use the hat to do more of her job, with the snail calling her a shit parent. Fuck you man, sh’e sa good mom she’s just making mistakes. Emily decides to do it anyway and it works but she soon finds out using the hat outside the garden ages her while the snail decides fuck it and kidnaps candace by aborbing her into his stomach and making her be his legs so he can get dumplings because why not. What follows is a horrifc and tense chase between the two as candace’s life is on the line and the snail has a backup hat and emily time blasting him only makes candace age or deage, horrifyingly becoming a fetus at one point and a teenager later. It’s ar eally tense well done seen that combines the show’s usual insanity with it’s horror side to great effect Meanwhile josh feels useless since his job is less important, and he feels less important as he’s on call and skipping rocks with randy because apparently that’s what he does on call. Randy gets a great moment though, explaning to josh that h’es like the stones their skipping: he’s immoible and seemingly useless most of the time but when it matters he’s there . He’s there rock. Their support.. and naturally with emily slowly dying from her hat, a rare sentence, Josh steps upa nd saves the day via stone skipping, emily throws the hat in and the fundraiser, due to the madness, sucesffuly buired the scandal and Emily finally tells mr salt no.. and he’s really cool about it just telling her to come in a little later. Things are back on track and we’re out.  This wasn’t a bad one, but it both feels less after the prevoius episode and somehwhat simple comaprd other emily centreic episodes. WHile the snail is a great villian and noel fielding,  like rich fulcher before him, fits into this kind of world nicely. Not a bad one, just one sandwitched between two far more interesting episodes. Speaking of which, we’re in the endg ame now. Next time it’s dog days and weird fucking al baby, until very soon later days. 

[brinesystem]

lol

glad were retriggered and retraumatized lets have somef un here i guess

should we talk about kik and the grooming?

or the OTHER time that happend?

how about the OTHER TIME?

oh or daddy dearest destroying our room? that was fun

totally didnt mind at all that he broke one of the only surviving items from our great great grandmother

oh wait he did that wtwice lulz

oh or the time he told us to punch him?

how about sneaking aroundh imo r being yelled at for eating?

or beingt old hed lock the fridge up?

getting threatened that we couldg get kicked out at nany moment?

oh or the time he almost DID doth at and we had to have an emergency plan of “if i dont text you come to this address”

oh or the ffact thath e threw our dogs againts the bricks?

almost drowned us and then we got in trouble for it?

oh what about him not ‘remembering’ any of it

oh and of COURSE we forgive him mom thanks for asking :) :) :)

glad its a question and not just you know, a nicely worded command

cause youk now

not a dog

oH WAIT LULZ

might as well be right :)

oh or the time we had to save our sister from drowning

while UNDER A LIFEGUARD AND ACROSS FROM ANOTHER ONE

thats fun right

not trauma ata ll?

oh and shcool thats fun

gun fight? first day? SURE WHY NOT

threatened and fearing our life? obviously its cause youre acting weird stop doing that and they wont lulzzzzzzzz

thanks teach for being a racist piece of shit

also nice used condom on your deskr eally classy

oh lets also just stea  my shit thanks teacher AND SCHOOL COUNSELLOR FRIENS

thanks for warning and helping us withou r classes by the way real glad we got tahtiwarning in time oh wait

oh thanksmomsure dont have trauma responses thatd be dumblolz

youre totally fine too dont worry TOTALLY doing great and absolutely true that all therapists thik youre doing perfect and dont need help

totally tre and we’re the proof huh??? :) :) :)

thanks for sayingi  dont even look human btw real nice when im saying i dont look white

v classy love that totally dealing good with your own trauma though thnx

OH or how about running a suicide prevention blog at 13, 14,15, 16, 17 because we were too afraid to stop doing it :)

that was fun right

totally fun to think your friend died

thanks teach btw for yelling at us about our phone while trying to watch for a suicidal friend

really made me care about you

alsothe  time i lost part of the bone in my leg andy ou yelled at me in front of thec lass

loved that

lvoe  the grooming gone past just grooming but cant be csa event hough they were 30+ at the time because itw as online

supes fun there too thankzzzzzz

OH can we talk about being suspended forr.r.....

stopping someone from stealing!

not allowing myself to egt beat up!

not sitting down and taking someone hitting me with a book

real funzies

ALSO THNZ MOM glad you helped out sister out but notme  over the same shit

EVERY TIME SOMETHING CAME UP

super glad bout that thnx

not like i had visual self harm for years 

but oh she said she cuts one time and gets help and a therapist and love and ishit

when shesb een beating me up and ive been getting in trouble for that for years because you dont doa nything

real funsies thanks love 10/10

oh 9/11 is fun too right gladi  was there for that

lvoe how it felt like an earthquake

and great grreat grandma dying glad you brought me along but its blocked out loooooool

oh andl ets not forget the SEVERAL DIFFERNT ASSAULTS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL glad you put me back in school after those instead of homeschooling me where i was learning faster and less stressed!!!!!!!! thanks!!!!!!!!!!

love the holiday trauma too

oH or the time you called us a liar after we complained about beingin  pain and it wtrned out our foot was swelling to twice its normal size due to a psider bite

THREE TIMES INOU R LIFE

that was fun too thankssssssss

oh orthe time we got relentlessly bullied by several kids and nobody did anything

that wasf un too

also what happened before we were 7 that made us think all adults were pedophiles?

would LOVE to know what that was about

or why someone tried to get us kidnapped by flashing drivers around that time to see if any would pull over and take us with them

thatw asf un too right

or the sex dreams

i was seven lolz glad i had tose definitely normal

oh or should we talk about marissa and her beating us up? glad you let us play with her all thetim e too!!!! real funsies glad it happened

or our friend leaving us because who fucking knows lolz glad you just stopped talking to us cold turkey

oh or our friend dying thatw as fun too what a fucking GREAT year :)

or our other friend being adopted and leaving us permanently because her parents didnt allow her to contact use ver :) :) :)

OH OR SHOULD WE TALK ABOUT THE DOCTOR TRAUMA

HI that wasf unr ight

having a kidney infectiontha t young? super funsies lol

glad i knew whatw as happening and wasnt just put under there and unable to move

totally not traumatizing thanks

totally not at all

OH OR THE FUN TIMES WITH BEING TOLD WE’RE ‘naturally different’ or ‘deal with thingsbetter than whoever’ 

thanks lbuddy glad you think that we have trauma andw orked our wholes lives to deal with itan d then got fucked over AGAIN but whatever its totally natural thanks for acknowledging all our hard work and also totally not absolving yourselfo f any effort you might have to put in at the same timeeeeee

orfindingo ut our bio grandfather is an abusive stalker and OH HE SHOWED UP AT OURH OUSE TO DROP SHIT OFF EVEN THOUGH HEL IVES IN TEXAS AND WE DONT

LOVE THAT THANKS FOR THAT INFORMATION GLAD HE HAS ACCESS

or our super abusive famly on te stepdads side glad we met thEM

loved being suicidal too that was fun glad everyone we knew helped us out and didnt just shut us outo r call us attention seeking that was coolioz

good luck whoever has our old house dont mind the suicide notes we hid under the carpet or in the vents lolz theyre totally fine

oh should we talka bout how daddy dearest stillpr efers a dog to us?

glad bout that too thanks

totally fine doesnt hurt at all and YES MOM YOUR EXCUSES FOR HIMARE TOTALLY HELPFUL AND DONT JUST REMIND US YOURE ON HIS SIDE MORE THAN OURS COOLIOS

but yeah youre totally perfectan d fine its fine cause you neverh urt us directly you just didnt do anything atal l in fact!

ever!!

thanks for that!!! love the inaction!!

ohor t hat fun thing which is apparently aform  ofe motional incest THANKS FOR THAT DADDIO

GLAAD THAT AFFECTED US FOR LIFE its great :)

im not eveng oingto  TOUCH on geneartional traumathat sawho  le other thing