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agent-calivide · 10 days ago

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Okay. I've been thinking about this for a while but it could still be incoherent.

So in IEYTD 3, there are some agency announcement transmissions after you beat a level. If I remember correctly, there was one after Hot Water which mentions Southern Philippines (along with other countries). (I, unfortunately, do not have access to the game but have watched gameplays.)

I have a few theories into why that (the agency doesn't have EOD agents in the Northern part of the Philippines) is (I can go on about that but it's likely it won't be historically accurate but let's just say the 50s were pretty wild and I have several agency headcanons if my suspicions are true.) and I was wondering if you have any more insights on possible points the games diverge from our timeline.

oh the can of worms this opens- /lh

So, this is all in the wonderful world of messing around with speculation, but for possible points of timeline divergence we first have to take into account the actual year IEYTD takes place, that being 1967. In addition, we need to look at the political systems in place, which is where this gets... funky.

See, in IEYTD 2 it is established that there are 4 world leaders:

Chancellor Magpantay, head of the Pacific League (Asia and Australia).

PM Markopoulos, head of the Mediterranean Commonwealth (Asia, Europe, and Africa)

President Okafor, head of the South Atlantic Union (Africa and South America)

Premier Sucre, head of the Hudson Federation (North America)

All of these positions are either elected or appointed by either the general public, or the country's parliament/whatever political system they have in place. So it's not like a monarchy where any of these people were born into these positions.

But, all that being said, these are not countries, but they're not continents either, they're some unique additional territory. We know this due to a detail where Juniper's jet took off from the JFK airport.

Why does this matter? Because the JFK airport was named after John F Kennedy after his assassination as the president of the United States. This means that all of the countries as we know them still exist, and this is also confirmed by the map in Juniper's jet and that radio broadcast that you reference. The long list of differing countries make it evident that the systems in place are one more level of authority on top of the heads of countries.

The reason I go into all of this is because a lot of "timeline divergence" things are tied deeply to politics, spies are innately political after all. Borders, international boundaries, treaties, all of this is what leads to the divvying up of the world like this.

So the question is no longer "why is the world laid out like this" it is now "why would all of these countries agree to this system/get pushed into this system when they were already established as individual powers?"

If I had to guess, the split would be around WWI/WWII, specifically either the foundation of NATO or something similar happening right after WWI, the results are the same either way.

Either after The Great War, which was the first war to take over the entire planet, or after WWII which took place so close after the first one, there was an international agreement that something needed to change to keep this sort of incident from occurring ever again.

So, rather than having dozens of people arguing over treaties, the political powers at be decided to simplify it to four people, four territories.

Now, meta wise, this is because kidnapping 4 people is a lot easier to depict than 40+, but there still are ramifications on the rest of the world building due to it. This may even impact how countries interact with each other normally.

Handler affectionately jokes about "the alien we met with the Russians!" Regardless if he is supposed to be English or US American like the devs, there is no undertone of space race, international conflict, or anything similar despite this occurring in the late 60's right when the space race would be happening between the US and Russia. Just delight over this thing that happened with those chums from Russia!

And it makes sense for individual countries to not be at each other's throats. Everyone is a bit too worried about what Zoraxis is doing at that point, the Mediterranean Commonwealth's representative saying he doesn't trust Zoraxis and the South Atlantic Union having a strong isolationist stance at the moment. There is no word of the territories fighting, just that they don't trust anyone at this moment.

And this why a system like this would be in place, it would make discussions of conflict easier, as it would be discussion between four people and their teams rather than dozens or even hundreds of conflicting sides. There likely would still be internal conflicts within the territories, but picking a fight with another territory wouldn't be possible.

The US can't pick a fight with Russia, they're part of the Mediterranean Commonwealth and the US is in the Hudson Federation. That would be like Texas bombing California or attacking Canada, they just don't have the jurisdiction for that.

This would explain why the politics in place are so different, as well as why real world politics are never brought up and don't have a tangible impact on these games. The EOD is dealing with Zoraxis rather than representing a specific country because the way the countries have conflicts is fundamentally different.

TL;DR

The way there are only 4 political leaders makes everything super funky in terms of international conflict that is fundamentally different from how we experience it irl

#ieytd #i expect you to die #ieytd2 #i expect you to die 2 #I spent way too much time researching this-

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mosquito-queen · 1 year ago

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there are a few things in yelena’s hotel room that are decidedly not holiday inn decor: her rings on the bedside table and a small porcelain rabbit in the window sill. the rings were understandable… but a bunny?

kate spies the ceramic interloper the morning after yelena had tucked her so sweetly into the hotel scratchy blankets, slung her arm around kate’s torso and spooned her. a black widow had spooned her.

and then she said something in russian so thick (and so hot) that kate had no chance of remembering the sounds to even attempt google translate at a later date. instead, all of kate’s brainpower was directed to being impossibly closer to the woman cuddling her.

and that had led to kate turning around so quickly that she whacked her head into yelena’s and between the stuttering of an apology and russian curses someone had kissed someone until the curses went from derogatory to praise and now kate’s muscles ached in a way adjacent to their usual fights. but decidedly in a better way.

now, she was laying on her stomach, head turned towards the window and arms cradling the pillow underneath her. the blanket was pulled up to cut across her shoulder blades. it wasn’t the blanket she had initially been wrapped up in - yelena had definitely stolen that at some point during the night. now all kate has is a sheet.

yelena’s breath is hot on kate’s shoulder, and she feels her forehead pressed against her upper arm. her heart softens. she bets yelena looks like an angel. she’s about to turn her head to find out, but something out of place catches her attention. she squints at the windowsill, spies the offending figurine lit by the morning sun.

yelena is shuffling closer to her in the bed, wrapping her arm sleepily around kate and pulling herself closer. kate is still trying to puzzle out why a deadly russian assassin would have such a tiny rabbit.

there’s a hesitant kiss pressed against her arm, yelena’s eyelashes fluttering against her skin, and in a groggy voice she says, “kate, i can hear you thinking.”

kate still doesn’t turn to look at her, forgets that yelena isn’t resilient to doubt, but is reminded as soon as the warmth starts to be pulled away. kate catches her arm, tucks it back around her, feels yelena slowly sink back into her.

“did the rabbit come with the room?”

“oh.” yelena is running her fingers over kate’s opposite arm, and shifts so she can rest her head on kate’s back to look at the window, “you do not recognize him?”

“should i? is it the easter bunny?”

yelena makes a dissatisfied noise and squeezes kate’s arm. the archer is grinning into the pillows at the frustration, “no. it is not the easter bunny,” she mimics kate’s voice, “he is from your movie, bambi.”

“yelena, americans are not born with disney movies in our blood.”

now yelena does push away from her, absolute shock spluttering across her face. kate turns with her, pulls the sheet up to keep some kind of decency, she laughs at yelena and gives in, “yes, yes, i know of bambi.”

“but you haven’t seen it?”

“no.” kate’s answer is short, her eyes tracking over yelena. getting caught up in the way her hair haloes her face, the way her eyes crinkle, the softness of her mouth, the way yelena is propped up that makes the duvet cover fall crooked and barely cover her. it’s too early for kate to practice discipline. her eyes wander.

yelena is either ignoring her gaze or is way too invested in bambi-gate, “kate bishop. you are an archer. you should have to watch bambi before you get to hunt.”

the memory yelena is referencing pulls kate slightly back to earth, and she groans, “i only went hunting once! once! and never again!”

this time yelena is grinning, “only because you did not get a trophy.”

kate reaches out, grabs the twist of blanket pooling around yelena and drags her down, “stop deflecting, and tell me about your rabbit.”

“you’re more awake in the morning than i anticipated.”

kate has yelena’s hand tangled in one of hers now, brings it up to mouth and bites at the fingers, “i’m full of surprises. and so are you. let’s hear it.”

yelena settles into kate’s side, toying with her hand, “mama gave it to me.”

kate sometimes knows when to be quiet, lets yelena continue playing with her hand, waits.

“thumper was my favorite. mama called me bunny, said rabbits were lucky. that i was lucky.” her voice is growing sadder, “natasha always stole him. she put him up on high shelves - places i couldn’t reach,” she whispers cyka in the most loving tone, “she stole him the night we left, had him in her pocket. he is lucky - everyone made it out that night.”

there’s a hard swallow, kate thinks maybe yelena could cry. she’s stopped playing with her hand, so kate begins tracing soothing patterns over yelena’s arm.

“she kept him the entire time we were separate. i don’t know how, but she never lost him… after.. after she -“ a pause, “clint had him. gave him back to me, he said during the blip natasha kept him above doors, in windows, near thresholds,” she clicks her tongue, “always superstitious…”

she trails off, and they sit in the silence with kate still tracing patterns.

“i had him the night on the roof. when i met you.”

#nostalgia is yelena’s middle name #yelena has a little bunny figurine and i like to think maybe kate has a stuffed animal that her dad gave her she will never part with #bishova #katelena #kate x yelena #kate bishop #yelena belova

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findafight · 1 year ago

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They’re Russian spies like “The Americans”, except their cover’s been blown and now they’re on the run. Steve technically isn’t allowed to leave the county (“just tell people you didn’t get into college”, his handler suggests) and is shit scared of crossing the gov.

The only time Robin’s heard him use “do you know who my father is?” was when they were captured by Russians (they have no idea who Steve’s parents are, although his Mom would absolutely have shot them for hurting her baby).

Ooo yes I looooove Steve's parents being Russian spy!! here's a post with @stregoniconiconii about them?

Very interesting for Steve to KNOW they are though omg. Does he know Russian? Maybe not in order to fit in and sell the illusion. And Steve being scared on not just the American but the Russian government too?? Oh mannnn.

His parents being somehow involved with the Starcourt sub basement, and then finding out their boy (who they had for the cover, but do care for in a way) was not only captured by the general there but tortured? Coming home to see his face beat up and him telling them the mall burnt down and they know there was the secret base (not what it was for maybe) and they also know what wounds from a beating look like......someone is getting shot. Mama Harrington does not take kindly to failure, exposure, or her little boy getting his face smashed in (again).

But then Hawkins is too hot for them to stay, so they go on extended business trips that keep them away for weeks and weeks, Steve holding down the fort until things settle down again.

#steve harrington #steve harrington's parents #harringtons are spies au #stranger things #findaanswers #finda's rambles

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qprstobin · 1 year ago

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Different first meeting post-s1 Stobin AU (that sort of turned into Fruity Four) I was tossing around for myself to write but am going to put it out into the world because I’m not sure I’ll ever get to it.

It’s the Spring of 1984, and Nancy is looking for a way to help Steve pad his college application after seeing him struggle with his essay writing for the past few months. Somehow, this leads to her convincing him to join the Spring play, Romeo and Juliet. Not only will it look good on his application to add another extra curricular, but the English teacher always gives extra credit for drama participation, especially the annual Shakespeare play.

Steve, of course, ends up getting the lead role, much to his chagrin, and he turns out to be a pretty good actor. This should all be smooth sailing, a way for him to get an easy add on to his apps, if it wasn’t for who was playing Juliet.

Band Geek Buckley.

She isn’t the worst choice - they have pretty good stage chemistry, and she’s funny in a mean way (in a way he’s kind of missed now that he no longer is talking to Carol and Tommy) but she hates his guts. He honestly didn’t even really know who she was before this, but he could feel her glaring at the back of his head in first period every day.

Honestly, they would be fast friends if both of them weren’t trying their hardest to make sure the other knows no showmances will be happening between them. (Robin for obvious reasons, and Steve because he is very much in love with Nancy at this point and would not ever cheat on her.)

Steve at one point tells her that she isn’t his type (which actually, is kind of a lie but it doesn’t matter because it would never happen), and Robin is just, so fucking offended. She would never want to date him (he’s a man AND an asshole), but where does he get off saying shit like that?? Robin in turn, nearly outs herself at one point by claiming she’d rather kiss his girlfriend than him.

(Nancy on the other hand… spends the entire play very confused, because despite the disgust that both of them express during the (rather chaste) kiss scenes, Nancy thinks it’s kind of hot. She has a lot to think about.)

Even before they become actual, spill your secrets on the bathroom floor friends, they get into so much chaos together. Definitely the type to be bickering with each other but then team up to turn on someone else when they are being rude or creepy. Even though there are no Russian Spies to bond them together for life (yet), they probably go through some harrowing night together that leaves them with something of a headache.

Maybe they accidentally eat too many weed brownies together at a cast party, maybe they get locked in the prop closet for several hours, maybe they get stranded at a gas station outside of town when their director sent them on what was both a “you are going to work your shit out TONIGHT for the sake of the play” and “y’all are the only ones available” emergency prop run. Either way it ends in tears and laughter and bathroom (or closet) floor confessions and a rock solid friendship.

Nancy is happy that Steve has a friend that isn’t just her or Jonathan, and is happy to have a new friend herself, especially a female one.

Tammy Thompson is less happy that Steve’s attention is on Robin, which is unfortunate, as this is Robin’s peak Tammy Thompson era, and Tammy gets mean. Nancy definitely tries to fight her at some point for how rude she’s being to all of them (Tammy didn’t like Nancy much either, she just didn’t honestly care much about Tammy saying rude shit to her, but she isn’t gonna let someone be a bitch to her friend like that). Steve was just going to ruin her reputation, but honestly, he didn’t even need to with how hard Nancy went in on her.

(Nancy trying to fight Tammy is also how Robin moves on from her “god what a priss” mindset regarding her. A minor crush may also blossom. Steve is happy to commiserate over being clocked in the head emotionally by Nancy Wheeler, he made t-shirts.)

Their odd friend group gets rounded out to four (five if you include Jonathan, who does eat lunch with them everyday but who thinks that Stobin are a bit too loud for him in anything other than small doses) by another cast member - the drug dealer Eddie Munson.

This is Eddie’s first try at senior year but his prospects aren’t looking great. English isn’t the only class he’s doing poorly in, but it is one of the main ones, and his English teacher has offered him a boon - get a speaking role in the spring play and he’ll get enough extra credit to pass the class, as long as he makes an actual effort to turn in his work for the rest of the year. He thinks fuck it! Might as well, this is the only deal the hag is going to give me, and ends up landing the role for Mercutio.

His start with the group isn’t as tumultuous as the Stobin friendship starts out, though there definitely isn’t any love lost between them. Steve may have dropped Hagan and Perkins earlier in the year, but he’s still a jock, and his prissy, perfect girlfriend isn’t much better. Eddie doesn’t have any personal issues with Robin, but Robin definitely isn’t a fan of his, not with how loud the other man is.

There isn’t any real dramatic moment that adds him to the group, at least not as dramatic as what finally solidifies the Stobin bond, but spend enough time running lines together and he sort of realizes that maybe they aren’t as bad as all that.

(Really Eddie is just there to cause chaos, and try to pass Senior English. Falling into the weirdest friend group known to Hawkins High is just a bonus.)

Honestly, I came up with this idea because I just wanted more Stobin dif first meetings, and thought the idea of Stobin having to play romantic leads opposite each other in a play was hilarious. It ended up becoming Fruity Four just because Stancy is still happening here, and Eddie was perfect for the role of Mercutio. I didn’t even have set ideas on how I want this to end shipping wise. Just wanted to get it out of my misc WIP document <3

#stobin #platonic stobin #steve harrington #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #eddie munson #fruity four #the fruity four #stranger things #not fic #mini fic #steve #eddie #robin #nancy #my writing

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ejzah · 5 months ago

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A/N: This is just a little snapshot of the Deeks-Blye family.

***

I Don’t Need Anything Else

“Alright, alright quit wiggling. Aunt Anna and Uncle Callen are waiting to swim with you,” Deeks said as he wrangled Sophia into the tiniest bathing suit imaginable. Caleb sat on the floor, alternating between babbling and chewing on a stuffed red dog. He had been through the same treatment with equally tiny blue swim trunks a few minutes ago.

Outside, most of the team and their families and the moms were enjoying Kensi and Deeks’ new pool and everything and anything Sam threw on the grill.

“Ok, Sophie my love, you are all set.” Transferring her to one hip, Deeks stooped to pick up Caleb.

“Hey baby,” Kensi said, coming up behind him. She pressed up against his back, kissing his neck, and he leaned into her, sighing as she kissed him a couple more times. “I came to see how you three were doing in here.”

“The Pastry Twins are all ready for swimming.” He gestured to his handiwork, showing off each twin in turn.

“Aw, you look so cute!” She held her hands to her chest, then reached for both of them.

“How’s everybody doing out there? No bloodshed yet?” he asked.

“Sam finally ran out of food to grill and Callen’s trying to convince Rosa to switch to Russian as a foreign language. Again. Oh, and Kilbride is looking for you,” Kensi told him.

“Huh, that can’t be good. Did he say why?”

“Nope. But he seemed fairly cheerful. For Kilbride.”

“Alright. I’ll got see what he wants,” Deeks sighed.

“Good luck.” Kensi held him back for another kiss. “I’ll stand by if you need rescuing.”

“Mm, best wife ever.”

He found the Admiral sitting on the patio, toting his absurd fishing hat and a glass with a small orange umbrella.

“I hear you were looking for me, Sir.”

“Ah, Deeks. You’ve been hard to pin down,” Kilbride said, nodding as squinted up at Deeks.

“Well, twins keep you busy. How’s NCIS treating you?” Deeks asked taking the seat across from him, and Kilbride groaned, taking a long sip of his drink.

“I swear these people get more idiotic every day. As if I have time to fill out another pointless slip of paper when there are international catastrophes going on,” he ranted. Deeks smiled, feeling oddly sentimental about the familiar conversation.

“Maybe you should consider retirement,” he suggested.

“We can’t all just leave,” Kilbride grumbled back, but with a hint of smile. “I’ve had several people ask about you, you know. Apparently you’re a hot commodity these days.”

“Oh, I’m aware,” Deeks said with a chuckle. “The first time I got a call from the CIA, I was a little concerned. Now it’s just getting annoying cause they always seem to call during nap time.”

“I’ve heard some of the offers: Lead agent of your own team, head of the legal department, lead analyst. They would all be prime positions that would allow you to not only stay closer to home, but also provide for your family.”

“They’ve been getting on your case too, huh?”

Kilbride rolled his eyes, expelling an exasperated sound. “The damn fools won’t leave me alone.”

“I appreciate it, and it’s certainly nice to be wanted, but I’m happy where I am.” Deeks paused and glanced around to take in the yard filled with people. He spied Rosa guiding Caleb around in an inner tube, Callen dipping Sophia’s toes in the water, Kensi laughing with Fatima. “I have a family, a home, a good job. Peace. I don’t need anything else.”

Kilbride nodded, begrudging respect in his eyes. “You’re a lucky man,” he said.

“Yes, I am, Sir.”

#ncis la fanfiction #densi #marty deeks #kensi blye #densi twins #and co #fluff #ejzah fanfiction

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gellavonhamster · 3 months ago

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the wolf and the moon

Turn: Washington's Spies || Caleb Brewster/Benjamin Tallmadge || unspecified fantasy/magic AU ao3 link eng || this was first written and published on ao3 in Russian in 2017 but I didn’t attempt to translate it into English back then.

You must not be afraid of the changes that I've made

I have come now to bring you away

To our bed that I have made with the seven stones I've laid

And covered in the finest of clay

Lay your head upon the ground, you shall never be found

I will guard against dangers that be

Until dawn comes around you must not make a sound

And I swear you will forever be with me

(Birch Book – Werewolf’s Eyes)

Looking back, Ben is utterly angry at himself for not catching on to what was happening to him until it was too late.

First he notices all smells become sharper. Gunpowder, sweat, horse dung, damp earth, campfire smoke, hair pomade. Hundreds of smells that were not as distinct before surround him in a smothery cloud that seems dense enough to spoon it up like fat broth. Ben frowns, dizzy with this suffocating mixture, and steals furtive glances at the others, trying to find out if they feel the same, but everyone is acting like everything’s normal. He does not dare to ask, suspecting how strange that would sound. The other officers keep their guard up with him as it is – sure, he’s well-mannered and all, but still, heaven knows what to expect from those magicians.

On the last night before the full moon, he blows out a candle in his tent, and suddenly realizes he can see perfectly in the dark. Then he begins to understand – although just what, not how. If he was bitten, he would have remembered it – or would he not? Leave it to Rogers and his men to wipe out his memories. Everyone knows his unit is made up of only those endowed with at least middling witchcraft powers. It is for this reason that much later Ben is so surprised to find out that Jordan – that is, Akinbode – has joined the ranks of Rangers. It is odd and upsetting to know that all those years someone else in Setauket was able to do magic apart from the four of them, and they had not the slightest idea.

It might be that the bayonet he was wounded with was soaked in something. Werewolf’s blood? Werewolf’s saliva? The next day, Ben all but runs to his tent each time he has a minute to spare and leafs through his papers frantically, his own notes and torn-out book pages alike. His command of sorcery is much poorer than imagined by most people in their army, Washington included. Compared to those who couldn’t even deal with a simple spell, he’s a magician indeed. In truth, however – and being aware of it has never made him feel as dejected before – he’s just another self-taught amateur. If what is happening to him is exactly what all the evidence suggests, then he is helpless. All he can do is steal out of the tent when it gets dark and the moon’s silver disk starts to glisten behind the clouds, and rush towards the forest. He manages to put on a smoke-and-mirrors spell so that no one notices he’s gone; at least he’s good enough for such trifles.

He makes it to the woods in time – as soon as he steps into the thicket, he convulses with excruciating pain. A bayonet is like a mosquito bite compared to that; worse, finishing off his brother in arms so as not to give himself away in front of Rogers and his band of warlocks is like a mosquito bite compared to that. It feels as if huge invisible hands are kneading him like dough and sculpting his flesh and bones into something else, ugly and unnatural. Ben struggles to keep his mouth shut, but he still screams.

Then he howls.

Then he’s racing through the woods surrounded by thousands of smells, which don’t seem as obnoxious as before, and he feels good – as good as never before, especially compared to that terrible pain earlier. The moss is springy under his paws and the air is fresh, and the blood of the hare he caught is hot and tastes better than any food he’s ever tried. There is no trace of the fear that has weighed down on him that entire day. How could he be afraid of this?

But when he wakes up at dawn in the depths of the forest completely naked, shivering with cold, his human face smeared with blood, the fear returns.

And the night after it proves itself justified.

***

After the second night, Ben returns to the camp, slips into his tent, falls down on his knees and howls and howls more than he did at night in honour of the full moon.

He has only vague memories of what happened. A dark silhouette sneaking through the woods. A jump, a loud cry, the cracking of neck vertebrae. A blue uniform torn to pieces. A warm throat in his maw. All of it blurred, befuddling; an unpleasant dream right before waking up. But what he saw in the morning he remembers clearly – and will never forget.

He’s not throwing up. He’s choking on tears, he’s shaking with disgust, but he’s not throwing up at all. God, why isn’t he throwing up from the thought of having gorged himself of human flesh last night?

Ben forces himself to get up. His body moves as if by itself – and is it his own anymore, really? Or is the only body he inhabits now that of a wolf, for which that nightmare is just another hunt, and not the most heinous crime imaginable? He keeps looking around the tent dully, until he understands that the thing he needs, the only thing that can save him and the others, is already at hand.

He cocks the pistol and puts it to his temple.

“No!”

An unseen force wrenches the pistol from his hand and throws it into the corner. A shot rings out – in vain.

“You shot a hole through my wall,” Ben says, tired. He doesn’t turn around; he can’t look Caleb in the eye, not after what he did last night. But Caleb is beside him in a blink of an eye, grabs his hand painfully, and makes him turn around – and then he has to look.

Ben isn’t sure he’s ever seen Caleb in such rage before.

“Screw you, Tallboy,” Caleb spits out wrathfully, looking up at him. “Have you lost your mind? What the hell was that?!”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“Yeah, ‘cause it’s easier just to blow your brains out, right? Ben,” the tone of his voice changes, and so does his look, and now Caleb is looking at him with a desperate plea and fear and concern, and Ben wants to push him away and shout at him leave, I don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve a single drop of your worry, leave. “What’s going on?”

Ben wants to push him away – and yet he cannot.

“You’re going to hate me if I tell you.”

“No,” Caleb says firmly.

That’s what I fear, Ben thinks.

When he comes to the part about him killing someone – no, not just killing but half-devouring him, tearing him to pieces to the point of barely being able to make out the face in the morning, not a familiar one yet still striking horror and grief into him – he realizes he’s crying again. Ben wipes off his tears with his sleeve violently, hoping that Caleb doesn’t think he’s asking for pity. Pity he does not deserve. All he deserves is the pistol, now picked up off the ground and lying on the table, in wait for its hour. Ben knows what he’s going to ask of Caleb when he finishes his story. Ben is tormented by an almost complete certainty that Caleb will refuse him.

“We-e-ell,” drawls out Caleb when Ben is done. He was listening with uncharacteristic sobriety, but with no apparent fear, and that is wrong. He ought to be scared. “What was that poor devil even doing in the woods at night…”

“Caleb, what’s the difference?”

“Was he tryin’ to desert or what?”

“What. Is. The difference?” Ben draws back and stares at his friend with outrage. “What of it if he was? Even had it been a redcoat – Caleb, I bit a man to death! Tore out his throat like he was a rabbit!”

“Hush,” Caleb raises up both hands as if trying to shield himself from Ben’s voice. “Quit yelling. Here, drink,” he fishes a flat flask of Madeira out of the inside pocket of his coat, and pushes it into Ben’s hands.

“Right,” he begins as Ben drinks, gagging and coughing. “So we have to figure out what to do with that trouble of yours.”

“I’ve already figured everything out, and I was trying to do just that, until you barged in.”

“And thank God I did! Ben, I won’t let you kill yourself!”

“Then you will have to kill me,” Ben retorts, and takes the pistol from the table. “In the woods, now. Let’s go.”

Caleb stares at him in horror.

“No.”

“Lieutenant Brewster,” Ben raises his voice and holds the pistol out to Caleb, “that’s an order!”

Caleb takes the pistol and throws it aside – not by magic this time, but simply by hand.

“Stick your orders where the sun don’t shine, Captain,” he replies, his chin defiantly up. “Listen to me. We’re both magicians, right? We’ll figure it out and no one will have to shoot anyone. I’ll figure it out.”

Ben is silent. He’s scared of death, because he knows for sure he’ll go to hell – a magician, even though the church has a complex stance on magic; a killer, even though everyone kills at war; a werewolf, even though not of his own volition; a sodomite, even though he hasn’t ever dared to proposition anyone. He hates himself for this weakness, but he really is scared, man and wolf inside him alike. Besides, the army needs him, Washington needs him, his friends whom he dragged into another risky business need him. Of course he would prefer to stay alive – but he doesn’t see any conditions under which it is possible without subjecting others to mortal peril.

“Trust me,” Caleb says quietly, resolutely. He stares at Ben, imploring him with his warm, always so endlessly warm eyes, and Ben gives up.

***

At night, Ben returns to the forest, and the wolf returns home.

He throws off the scruples of conscience together with his former appearance. Only a tiny part remains, caught on that scrap of human sentience that still remains with him. That scrap causes him pain, but it also brings him hope – hope that strong as the wolf might be, it cannot beat Benjamin Tallmadge. He’s still here, with his guilt and his fear and his remorse, and he has no intention to leave this head.

But the wolf’s hunger is strong, and now, when the wolf has already partaken of human flesh, it’s all the more dangerous.

The camp is asleep. Only the sentries are walking to and fro, small figures barely distinguishable from the edge of the woods. Ben – no, the wolf, that’s all wolf – looks at them and makes a step forward.

A noise behind his back makes him turn around.

It’s a bear. Not the biggest there is, but undoubtedly still bigger than him. Ben bares his fangs, but is in no hurry to run away. It is the first time he sees this bear, the first time he sees any bear, but this one smells like something very familiar, something like home, and for the wolf it is enough not to be afraid of it.

The bear approaches him, extends a foreleg the way a person would extend a hand to point at something, and growls as if calling him somewhere. Ben turns to look at the sentries again.

The bear growls louder and gently nudges him with its paw, and Ben gives up.

Together they disappear deep into the woods, and then they hunt down a big deer, and its meat tastes almost as good as the meat of that young man – deserter or not – that Ben recently murdered.

When Ben wakes up as a man, he realizes two things. The first is that at night he managed to return closer to the camp, because the gnarled oak under which he’s lying is well familiar to him.

The second is that someone’s lying by his side, hugging him at the small of his back.

Ben detaches himself, pushing off the hugging arm, and sits up abruptly.

“Caleb,” and of course it’s Caleb, naked and muddy like him, with leaves and tiny twigs in his hair and beard. “Caleb, wake up!”

“Why are you yellin’, why d’ya always have to yell?” Caleb mutters drowsily, and bats Ben’s hand away when Ben tries to shake him by the shoulder. At last he opens his eyes and sits up too. “Morning, Benny.”

“Morning?” Ben is positively at a loss. He certainly doesn’t like the most obvious explanation – that is, that Caleb followed him through the woods last night, at the risk of being mauled by a beast that does not care who Benjamin Tallmadge’s closest childhood friends are. “Caleb, how did you get here? How did you find me? Did you go after me last night or what?”

“Yeah,” Caleb shrugs, stretches, and gets up, and Ben does his utmost to look away. Caleb pulls clothes, his own and Ben’s, from a hole beneath the oak roots, and throws him his shirt. “Spent all night with you, don’t you remember?”

When it dawns upon Ben, he is halfway through putting his shirt on, and his sudden shudder almost results in him tearing it.

“You’re out of your mind,” he hisses, leaps to his feet too, and grabs Caleb by the shirt. If someone catches them like that – away from the camp, scantily clad – it won’t be easy to explain themselves, but this is not what he’s worried about at present. “I thought you promised to figure out how to stop the wolf!”

“And I did,” Caleb replies nonchalantly, struggling to pry Ben’s fingers away from his sleeve.

“By becoming the same thing as I?!”

“I’m not the same thing, Ben! You were turned, I turned myself. You become a wolf, I keep a man’s mind in a bear’s body. A curious ritual, I learned about it in Canada,” Caleb covers his hand with his own and grins with delight. “Was eager to try it out for some time, see if I could handle it.”

Ben could say a lot about Caleb’s flippant attitude towards magic, but he has long understood that in some cases, it is no use wasting his breath.

“And how is this going to help up?” is all he asks.

Caleb smiles. Every time it gives him laughter lines; this mirth is going to make him all wrinkles when he grows old.

“Weren’t you lickin’ your lips at the sentries last night? But you didn’t go to them. You went with me. I’m stronger and bigger, I can hold you back if needed,” he gives Ben’s shoulder a friendly slap. “As long as I’m with you, you won’t hurt anybody.”

No, thinks Ben, but if neither you nor I are strong enough to resist our respective beast, there will be even more victims.

***

Strange as it may be, it works out. From one full moon to another, their lives are nearly the same as before – the military affairs, the spy ring business, magic-related or not. The bear guards the wolf against hunting in the camp of the Continental Army. Lieutenant Brewster guards Captain – now Major – Tallmadge against going mad with self-loathing and self-abhorrence.

Nathaniel Sackett, a seasoned magician, gets to the bottom of it at once.

“You need a suitable amulet, young man,” he says, looking over Ben with the curiosity of a scientist who has caught a peculiar bird. “Then it will be easier for you to control yourself. You’ll even be able not to depend on the full moon and transform whenever it is convenient for you. Like your friend here.”

“Convenient?” Ben echoes, frowning. “It will never be ‘convenient’ for me, sir. It is not about my convenience, but about the safety of others.”

“But you could be useful on the battlefield in this, hmm, capacity.” Sackett doesn’t seem to notice Ben’s indignation. “Haven’t it occurred to you?”

“No,” lies Ben.

Sackett clicks his tongue. “I’ll see what could be done.”

“He’s insane,” whispers Ben in frustration, when Sackett leaves to meet Washington.

Caleb shrugs. “All magicians are a bit out there,” he points out philosophically. “Just look at the two of us. Though we clearly have a long way to go compared to him.”

“Oh, it’s all fun to you, isn’t it? You furry blockhead.”

“No furrier than you,” Caleb replies good-naturedly.

If it was not for his cheerful nature and eternal unshakeable faith in them being able to get through it all, the wolf would have long gnawed down Benjamin Tallmadge’s soul.

***

The amulet that Sackett hands him looks like a flower or an open pine cone – petals made of different species of wood, and a silver core.

“Put it around your neck on the full moon. And don’t you dare take it off even if it hurts. And it will hurt,” he instructs. “Concentrate on the memories of home, family, friends, loved ones – everything that makes you human. Brewster shall watch over you. I believe it sensible for him to do that in his bear form, to be on the safe side.”

“Thank you, sir,” Ben says ardently as he takes the pendant.

The first night of the full moon, he doesn’t succeed. The amulet hurts him indeed – like pressing a hot iron to his chest. Ben musters all his strength, but in the end he cannot bear it, and tears the pendant off. On his chest, a red print remains. That night he howls at the moon desperately, and Caleb lies in a pit and watches him and waits patiently for him to cry it all out.

The following night, Caleb ties him to a tree.

“Are you sure?” he asks for the last time.

Ben snarls.

The moon comes out, and the amulet bites into his skin, into the still-raw yesterday’s burn. Caleb shucks off his clothes and shapeshifts. Ben still cannot get used to how awful the transformation appears to an onlooker – the body mashed and spread and bent, the limbs twisting unnaturally, the fur growing out in an instant. Ben is well familiar with the kind of pain Caleb is experiencing, but even it seems like nothing compared to the one caused by the amulet.

Sackett told him: when he subdues the wolf, the pain will cease.

Sackett told him: keep thinking of what makes you human.

Through pain, Ben reminisces his father and his late mother, his brothers, their sweet old house and the neat small church in Setauket. The memories of home seem like the memories of a past life; none of this exists anymore. The British soldiers sit in their church. Samuel is dead. Nathan, whom he also reminisces, whom he could never forget, is dead as well.

The silver burns his skin, the tree bark scratches even through the shirt, and the wolf inside him howls in pain. It is hard to focus on anything but pain, yet he tries.

Father. Abe. Anna. Washington.

Happy New Year, Tallboy.

Caleb, his sleepy smile, the warmth by his side, the arm on his waist.

I won’t let you kill yourself.

Ben screams until he suddenly realizes that the pain has passed. The bear lying next to him raises his head and nuzzles against his thigh.

The night after, he stares at the moon with human eyes, the amulet pleasantly cooling his chest.

***

Little by little, he learns – not only to trap the beast inside, but also to let it out when it is his own wish, not that of the skies above. When the moon isn’t full, the hunger isn’t as strong, and he need not fear that his feet – his paws – would bring him to the camp; not that Caleb would let that happen, anyway. What he is the most afraid of is losing the amulet in the thicket; he keeps Sackett’s notes, in which it is explained, among other useful things, how to make one, but that would require a long time and a variety of materials that would be hard to come by.

Little by little, he learns to accept that he likes it – the quiet of the woods, the moonlight, the wind singing in his ears, the delicious night air, clear as spring water. The thrill of the hunt and the lazy bliss of fullness. Falling asleep with his nose pressed into the coarse brown fur; waking up with his cheek pressed against Caleb’s chest. Something completely unthinkable and still completely natural, as if someone decided way before they were born that they would sleep best like that – nestled up to each other, not a scrap of clothes between them, the all-forgiving starlight above.

Sometimes Ben is grateful to Rogers for cursing him.

Once, having woken up at sunrise, he goes through the memories of the past night – now that his animal form is subject to the amulet, it is much easier to restore them. They killed a deer and feasted on the hot meat, and then fell down to the ground, sated and tired. The bear tumbled on his back spread-eagle, rolling about funnily and flattening the moss. The wolf climbed on top of him and nipped at his nose. Both had snouts and paws covered in blood, and they licked each other for a long time, played like pups, until the wolf fell asleep and the bear must’ve fallen asleep after him.

Ben, having carefully disentangled himself from Caleb, gazes at him and thinks absentmindedly that the dark hair on his chest and belly looks like animal fur. And that the wolf has already fallen asleep, retreated into the farther corner of his mind, and yet he still wants to lick.

Ben has no idea if beasts are prone to the same sin as some men, including him, but he knows that a wolf cannot and would not think of mating with a bear. The shade their night-time games acquire in his eyes does not come from the wolf, which cannot tell right from wrong. It comes from Benjamin Tallmadge, reverend’s son, the honorary virgin of the entire Continental Army, who’d rather die than admit why he never joined his fellows on a visit to a brothel. He remembers Caleb telling him that the ritual lets him keep a human mind in a beast’s body. Ben is not sure it is still so; Caleb turned without him present several times, stayed alone with the bear, and sometimes Ben worries that confident in his power, he might succumb to his second nature entirely. Still, what Ben would like to know most of all is what Caleb the bear, or Caleb the man in a bear’s frame, thought when he ran his rough tongue over Ben’s belly.

He daren’t ask, but in the evening, when they already can sleep peacefully in the camp because the moon has begun to wane, he comes to Caleb’s tent. The candle is blown out, but Caleb, who is now able to see in the dark perfectly well, like Ben, is still awake.

“Tallboy, what is it?” Caleb asks anxiously when Ben enters and carefully closes the tent flaps. “Has something happened?”

Ben steps up to him, heart beating so wildly as if it is going to break out of his body, and tilts his head to lick Caleb’s neck, animal-like, and then kisses him on the lips, as people do.

Caleb sighs loudly, his eyes closed, and leans to kiss him back.

He growls, leaning on Ben with all his weight on the cot too narrow for two, and Ben bites Caleb’s shoulder when he comes, but apart from that they have no reason to blame all that on the animals in their heads.

That night, Ben presses his snout – no, his face – to Caleb’s neck, and sleeps even more soundly than in the open air.

***

Gradually, the truth comes out. Not all of it, fortunately; not about the two of them. And not about Ben, in contrast to Caleb, being turned against his will, not being able to control the beast at first, and tearing a fellow soldier to pieces on top of that. Everyone believes Ben made the decision to turn in order to become a more dangerous foe to the British army. Washington thinks so. Everyone thinks so. Ben is in no hurry to change their minds.

On the battlefield, both of them are of more use on two feet, with weapons and spells ready, but a couple of times, when ambush is required, they face the enemy in their other bodies. This is enough for the British to start talking about them. As Ben learns from Townsend, casting a spell to communicate with him through a bowl of water (at the end of the conversation, Townsend, icily polite, asks him if he could henceforth warn him somehow before appearing in his washbasin – if it is not too much trouble, of course), the blue-eyed wolf even gains some grand nicknames in the enemy camp. The General’s Cerberus, Washington’s Hellhound. The fact that Ben, lofty manner notwithstanding, is still considered to be a dog is insufferably amusing to Caleb. The latter, however, is not accorded anything more sophisticated than the Shaggy Devil or the Hairy Devil or similar variations on the theme of the devil and bears. Ben likes to respond to Caleb’s dog-related teasing by saying that Caleb’s human appearance is as deserving of these names as the animal one, if not more.

In the camp, they’re respected, yet given a wide berth – both of them, even the ever jovial Caleb, and that continues when Anna joins them. The soldiers are intrigued by her, but also intimidated – which is not unwise, to be fair, considering she’s always been the most skilled magician among the four of them. Washington’s coven, soldiers whisper. A witch and two warlocks – only Abe is missing from the set.

Ben is glad Anna is with them – not just because he needn’t worry she might get in trouble away from her friends, but also because they need a safeguard. He’s reached an understanding with his wolf, and Caleb has been in tune with his bear from the start, but at the end of the day they are still wild beasts. He makes Anna a copy of the instruction on how to make the amulet from Sackett’s notes, and tells her to always keep a pistol with at least two silver bullets at hand to stop him or Caleb if worst comes to worst. Or (he doesn’t say that, though) to stop Caleb first and then, regardless of circumstances, him. An amulet is an amulet, but Ben cannot shake off the feeling that the lion’s share of his control over the beast is tied to Caleb’s presence.

He has heard somewhere that wolves mate for life anyway.

“I just hope I won’t have to use it,” says Anna with a sad smile, accepting the pistol.

“You won’t have to,” Caleb says with confidence and hugs her by the shoulders. “It’ll be alright.”

Ben looks at them, and the wolf in his head curls up snugly and falls asleep.

#more old stuff. this time it's the last i think #does it count as cannibalism if a werewolf eats a person while being a wolf? asking for a friend #turn amc #turn #turn: washington's spies #tallster #ben tallmadge #caleb brewster #my fic #gella talks turn #talk talk talk #this fic is so much sillier than i remember. no research just vibes. but i started translating it so i had to finish

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mamamittens · 1 year ago

Text

After a Crown for a Ring

This is the somewhat unhinged romcom order for myself based on my 'menu' for my Shake Date 500+follower event. Without the smut, I... I cannot write and post that and still come online ever again at this point in time (social anxiety for the win!), so ya'll just get the ridiculous build up.

That and I realized I had written over 2K just building up to smut. Why am I like this for this man???

So here.

Order: strawberry cake, gummy candy, sprinkles. Add in pink schnapps, jager bomb, white Russian, hot damn, and brain hemorrhage with a coffee and strawberry mochi.

Warnings: Yandere, technically kidnapping, and intended imprisonment until marriage agreement.

Thatch X Nikia (OC)

What can I say, he's a real romantic at heart.

word count: 2,490

The kingdom was burning.

Okay, so only some of the kingdom was burning. It was still a problem and there wasn’t much to be done at this point.

Nikia sighed, anxiously wringing her hands as she looked out over the balcony. She was trained for peacetime, not war. The weight of lives on her shoulders a distinctly uncomfortable one. So, she ordered her people to evacuate well before the enemy line made it to the capital city. Some stayed, too stubborn or loyal to go, but the rest fled quickly.

In theory, this is where her fiancé would shine. As a well decorated war general, this would have been his moment. He likely could have managed this whole mess swiftly and gotten a treaty signed. But he’d gone at the first sign of war to handle things and… he never came back.

Nikia shifted on her feet, wings fluttering behind her restlessly.

She liked Henrick well enough. Kind and deferential to her title without being a kiss ass. Older but not so old she worried he’d pass well before she ever would. They’d been arranged to marry next spring by her late parents but that clearly wasn’t going to happen now. And her envoys for peace went unheeded for reasons beyond her understanding. Spies, perhaps. Or perhaps just a lack of interest in peace. It was possible.

The rival kingdom was quite fond of conquering, so it was possible that this was inevitable.

And as queen she had to greet them.

There was a rattle of armor behind her as her personal guard, Minos, entered the room.

“Your majesty, they’ve made it to the pavilion.” She sighed, fussing with her skirts.

“Then I shall meet them in the entrance.” She declared, turning to walk swiftly through the halls, Minos glancing from under his helmet, hand on his blade.

“It’s not too late to run, your majesty.” He reminded her softly. She paused before the stairs, smiling softly.

“And go where? I can hardly pass as an unfortunate peasant.” Nikia sighed, extending her wings. It was something all royal family members had and became incredibly symbolic over the years, much to her frustration. “Besides, I have to try for peace one last time before the entire kingdom is razed. You heard what happened to Marineford.” She moved on, not looking at the portraits of her ancestors along the walls and artwork gifted to her family over the years. Marineford had, somehow, gotten hold of a prince and tried to execute him. It did not end well.

“Well, you haven’t acted against them before. And neither did your family! Perhaps this is just a show of force?” He asked, lengthening his stride to keep up.

“Well, they’ve certainly shown it!” Nikia grumbled. “The staff are safe?”

“No one wanted to leave.” He informed her.

Nikia stopped at the bottom of the stairs and sighed.

Perhaps she shouldn’t have spent her youth running around the kitchens.

She looked out across the hall where guards stood at the ready. Men she knew. Had watched train over the years in the courtyard. Personally knighting several when they’d become skilled enough to warrant the lofty title.

The sound of battle was faint but echoed over the empty hall. White marble draped in silk livery. The door was closed. But it wouldn’t be for long.

“Open the door and leave.” Nikia commanded clearly, though she knew only one part of her order would be followed. They hesitated, the two closest to the door looking back at her as she approached. Her dress trailing across the carpet. “We were never going to win this battle… so let’s get this over with.” Nikia stated, taking a sword from a kneeling servant. It was a mostly ceremonial blade, the one she had knighted several of those present with, in fact. Gemstones embedded in the blade and pommel, a flawless silver with golden leaves across the centerline. It could still cut, but was not meant to.

A bit ironic, really.

Pretty but useless.

The doors opened up, the sound of fighting pouring in as she saw the fight come to a screeching halt. All eyes on her as she tipped up her chin and walked to the top of the stairs.

She flared out her wings purposefully, letting them stretch out in the open air as she looked across the foreign soldiers. They seemed shocked. Perhaps they thought the ‘angelic royalty’ thing was a hoax. While she certainly wasn’t an angel, the imagery of her family line was no joke.

Now with their full attention she swallowed hard, gripping the sword.

“Congratulations. You’ve made a mess. Who am I meant to address?” She asked clearly, her voice ringing out.

A man stepped forward with a wide grin, wearing remarkably light armor and two blades in his hands. Amber red hair pulled back out of his face with a black goatee.

“That would be me, your majesty. Prince Thatch, captain of the eleventh division.” He dipped his head in deference but his eyes remained bold and amused.

“Well, since your kingdom insisted on dramatics—here!” Nikia called out, tossing the priceless blade down the stairs to his feet where it clattered with a chiming ring. He looked startled. “What? Did you expect me to fight you? What good would that do with an army still left behind? I’ve sent envoys for peace many times. We are not a country built for war, as you may have noticed while razing the countryside.” Nikia chided while walking towards him.

“Just like that?” Annoyance seeped into her.

“That desperate for a fight, are you? What, nothing to do back home, Prince Thatch?” Nikia hissed, flinging out her arms. “Besides, it would be a poor match. My weapon of choice is a bow.”

Though she had been tempted to shoot him from the sky.

He grinned, relaxing his stance and sheathing his blades as she approached closer.

“I think I would have liked to see that.” He mused, looking over her.

Her crown still in place over her curls, dark blue hair cut around her chin and braids of soft teal over her shoulders. Her dress trimmed close to her chest in silver silk lined with blue, trailing down her arms in wide sleeves. It wasn’t her most extravagant dress. But it was one she could run in, if need be.

“Too bad… so what now? Will you charge through my castle still or execute me first?” She asked, looking up at him. His expression softened.

“Now, why would I be so wasteful?” He asked, delicately picking up a thin braid and bringing it to his lips with a smile.

Nikia… wasn’t sure what to do with that. If they wanted peace, there were easier ways before this point. Hell, after the first battle where her fiancé was slain, marriage was suddenly a very easy and open option if they wanted.

“…Because you clearly didn’t want to sign a treaty?” She said in confusion. “And you clearly didn’t come here to talk.” She waved towards the still eerily quiet battlefield.

He laughed.

“Hah! I suppose that would be a little confusing on your part, wouldn’t it?” Thatch said before frowning thoughtfully. “I’m here for one thing. Where’s your king? Is he such a poor husband he makes his wife face an army to surrender?”

Nikia frowned.

“Uh…” Despite her many lessons, she couldn’t help the graceless sound that slipped from her lips. “… There isn’t one?”

Now Thatch looked confused.

“What?”

“What?” she parroted, shrugging her shoulders. “There isn’t one? There is no king? No consort either, before you ask… it’s just me? Who are you looking for—are you lost?!?” Nikia demanded, utterly baffled.

“You-You’re married.” Thatch said, looking down and grabbing her hand only to find it bare of any ring.

“No? I’m not?” Nikia insisted. “I mean, I would be… next spring. What the hell does it matter, why are you here?!”

“Fiancé then. Where is he.” Thatch looked around with narrowed eyes, like her fiancé would spring up from the shadows.

“Dead! In this stupid fucking war!” Nikia screeched, yanking back her hand. “What! Do you! Want here!”

“Then how are you queen?”

“Because my parents were king and queen?! And died—thanks for the reminder, ass.” Nikia hissed.

Thatch looked shocked before grinning.

“Oh.”

“Oh?” Nikia considered storming to her rooms and shooting him with a bow. She’d definitely be executed then but it would be worth it.

“Well, I’m here for you.” His tone shifted to something dark and she couldn’t help but shudder.

“Well… I’m right here? What do you want?!” Nikia stammered, taking a step back. Thatch grabbed her waist and pulled her in close, the familiar cries of alarm ringing behind her falling silent swiftly.

“My homeland makes allies in many ways. Usually treaties and exchanges. Sometimes even marriage.” Thatch informed her softly.

“That is… how most make allies, yes? Y-You’re freaking me out, what the fuck is your point?” Nikia questioned equally quiet.

“It’s seems there’s been a… misunderstanding. I’d been informed you were already married.” Thatch chimed in helpfully. “So, obviously, your husband had to go. And I couldn’t do that if we had a treaty.”

It took a moment. Nikia willing admitted it took a moment to understand what Thatch was saying.

Her face flushed.

“Y-You started a war to marry me?! No!” Nikia said, utterly horrified. “Absolutely not!”

“I gotta say, this is much easier!” Thatch chuckled, and in a move too fast to process, picked her up into his arms. Her wings flailed in alarm but it didn’t phase him in the slightest. “Fights over, boys!” There was a round of cheers and wolf whistles.

Apparently, it was only her side that was unaware of Thatch’s true intentions.

“Put our queen down!” Minos declared, drawing his blade. Thatch shifted his stance, still walking up the stairs with her on one arm, reaching for his own blade.

“No! You are not fighting this madman! Put me down, damnit!” Nikia screeched. A young man without a shirt clambered up the stairs and surprised her guard, the two engaging in a short fight before a column of fire erupted and left only one standing. And it was not her guard. Minos was, thankfully, still breathing.

The young man winked cheekily at her and Thatch before darting into the castle.

“No can do. Where’s your scribe, we need to square away the details.” Thatch commented breezily with a laugh. “Where are you going, Ace?!”

“I’m going to find the kitchen!” the young man declared over his shoulder.

“What details!?” Nikia asked, squirming to no avail.

“Our marriage, of course.”

“We are not getting married!” Thatch came to a halt at the top of the stairs, looking up at her smugly. Her guards were subdued on the ground, though thankfully not dead.

“Then I guess this is an armed occupation until we do. Where are your chambers?” He asked. Upon seeing her flustered but speechless, he looked towards a maid. “You there, miss? Would you kindly show me where the queen sleeps?”

“Why do you need to know that?!” Nikia hissed.

“I’m not locking my wife in the dungeons!” Thatch shot back, utterly offended.

“I am not your wife!”

The poor maid looked horrified and confused.

Thatch pouted at her.

“Then I suppose we’ll do it right here.” Thatch declared.

“Do what?” he grinned, reaching up to hook his fingers in the collar of her dress. Her eyes widened as her face grew hot. “No.”

“Yes.” He smirked and she couldn’t say for certain he was joking.

Nikia looked at the poor maid, utterly flustered herself.

“Show him.” The maid hurried, clearly understanding the innuendo before she had. “What the hell is wrong with you—we’ve never even met!—we haven’t met, have we?” She asked in horror as he effortless carried her up the stairs after the maid.

“No, but you have a lovely portrait.”

Okay, so he’s absolutely fucking mad.

“They’re paid to make me look good, what the hell is wrong with you?” Nikia asked, feeling a tad overwhelmed.

Her kingdom was invaded because a prince thought she was pretty?!

“Easiest money of that painter’s life. You’re already a work of art—thank you, you’re excused now.” Thatch said, stepping into her personal chambers as the maid nodded and fled.

He looked around in satisfaction and curiosity. Clearly eager to snoop around.

“Are you going to put me down, now?” Nikia asked blandly, feeling a tad resigned to the situation.

“You fit in my arms so well, though.” He pouted. “I suppose I should do it anyway.” Thatch sighed dramatically before setting her on her bed. He kneeled, looking up at her with a bright smile as she grimaced.

“…what now?” She asked softly.

Thatch reached up and pushed back her hair, settling his palm over her cheek.

“You agree to marry me.” Thatch smiled. “Until then, you don’t leave these rooms. Can’t have you running off. Or flying away for that matter.” Thatch looked at the balcony with a frown.

“You want to be king that badly?” Nikia asked. “You could always just oust me. It’s not that hard. Execution or banishment usually does the trick. Not that I want to die but… I just don’t get why you’re doing this.”

He hummed, looking back at her with a chastising expression.

“I don’t care about being king. Just your king.” He corrected her.

Nikia scowled.

“Then why do I need to agree to marriage? You’ve effectively conquered my kingdom already. I’d hardly be the first queen married without being asked. I didn’t even ask to marry Henrick. That was arranged.” She couldn’t help but point out. Upon his horrified look she rolled her eyes. “I’m queen, Thatch. My duty is to my people first. And for a secure kingdom, you must be married. I thought you were a prince and would know that.”

Thatch frowned, cupping her face in both hands as he rested his forehead against hers, staring deeply into her eyes.

“That’s not how it works where I’m from. I want you to want me. As much as I want you.” Thatch kissed her lips softly before standing up. “Even if it takes a little convincing. Get some rest. It’s been a long day, my queen.”

Thatch walked to the balcony doors and pressed his hand over them, mumbling a spell under his breath. Lights and symbols danced over the glass, forming a perfect circle over the handles. Locked now with magic. He grinned, pleased with his work, and headed to the door, bowing as he exited with a pleased smirk.

Familiar magic swirling over the wood as that, too, was locked. That wasn’t the only exit of course but, with her castle occupied, she could hardly escape regardless.

Just as trapped as she was this morning. Though infinitely more confused.

#one piece #shake date #thatch one piece #thatch x oc #imma curl up and die now this prompt was so good #yes i did decide with a random number generator #well i cheated a little #it wanted coworkers but in a royal au that would #they would #ya'll they'd be cousins and I can't do that #i wasn't writing my SI/OC dating a close relative #so i rolled again and it went for enemies to lovers and I could HANDLE THAT

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nikethestatue · 1 year ago

Text

Name: Nike

Sign: Sagittarius

Time: 7:14 pm

Favorite band/artist: The Rolling Stones is the ultimate band. I like classic rock. I like Amy Winehouse too.

Last movie: Watched something terrible about spies on Netflix. In the movie theater--haven't been to one since 2015 I think

Last show completed: Flea Bag

When I created this blog: 2014 I think

Other blogs: No

Do I get asks: Yeah

Followers: 4,500 something

Average hours of sleep: Around 7

Instruments: none

What I’m wearing: Tshirt/sweats

Dream Job: Writer

Dream trip: I always like to go back to Florence

Favorite song: that's too difficult. It's like choosing children.

Favorite movie: Some Like It Hot

Favorite fanfic: Like a Lonely House by @featherymalignancy is one of the most interesting things I've ever read, fic or not.

Best Tumblr friend: @tswaney17

Do you believe in love at first sight? I am certain it happens all the time

Do you speak any other languages: English, Italian, Russian, passable Spanish

Best book you read this year: Pen Pal

In a relationship? Yes. He is awesome.

Children: none

What does everyone like that you don't: Bacon and Taylor Swift

tags: @tswaney17 @rosesfox @athena-85 @cateyesinlove

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sommerregenjuniluft · 1 year ago

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fake fic ask again :-P a fic called "as good at lying as i am" and/or a fic w the tags spies & espionage, complicated siblings, piano playing, and movie night <33 (& bc u rb'd that other post i will kiss u if u make either of them a rarepair <3)

teddy my darling, i am finally in bed (read: on my bsfs boyfriend’s couch) and have time to do your lovely prompts!!<3

so for ‘as good at lying as i am’ made me immediately think of bartyxjames somehow, with barty being the overall insane evil little genius and james being the charming crowd worker that makes himself so likeable when in truth he’s really opinionated with a mean streak because he is an arrogant, privileged little shit,, sO i’m hmm i’m thinking maybe it would be cool to do some fucked up psychological horror thing. which is not at all my expertise, very much the opposite but i’m thinking idk they’re probably playing some fucked up games where there’s a lot of money on the line or like maybe their own pride, body, life?? (kind of like in the anime kakegurui) maybe one of them ends up the other’s slave for like a few days and maybe barty gets to sever off one of james’ pinkies and maybe they play russian rollet while fucking nasty style :p

alternatively, this could be a very cute, mutual pining thing because while that was my first thought my second was that it kind of implies that the lying is bad? so we’d have to find us characters that aren’t as good at lying. which is a bit more difficult i think. so probably peter and mm lets make it one of the prewett twins. just a cute little crushes to lovers thing where gideon continuesly makes a fool of himself while peter is just flustered to the fucking max and everyone is sitting at the damn table, mouth agape because they r such idiots that can’t seem to figure it out *face palm*, but yeah they do eventually ^^

for the tags fic im gonna make it evan(s) because i’ve actually been dying to talk about something here! obviously we’re getting rosier twins and to make it complicated lets say pandora and evan were separated when they were around 10 and then also! i’m making james and lily adoptive siblings!! which is so !!!!!!!! like i absolutely adoore platonic jily (esp in edge) and it made me think why not make them family in some Au? also the whole piano and espionage gave me 1950s vibes for some reason and imagine them having a cute movie date in like one of the first proper movie theaters, soo cute!! but also i’m tempted to make it a whole modern day assasin thing yknow where they r hot and have a gun and a knife hidden in their popcorn thingys and neither make a move because they’re too enarmored by the other jdkksk and then for the piano i imagine lily walking onto a fresh crime scene alone and gun in hand, some old mansion and just blood Eveeerryyywhere and then there’s the sounds of a piano and it’s evan playing after he like slaughtered a whole family or something 😋😋 and then they have incredible sex on a blood soaked rug and lily’s cock is bigger than evan’s so he rides her stupid and cries idk

#yeah these have no plot like all vibes im so sorry dkskks #hope it still tickles the spot teddy! i will expect my kisses at midnight on the bridge over the water<3 #jarty croucher #evan(s)#james potter #barty crouch jr #lily evans #evan rosier #fake fic game

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rebelmeg · 9 months ago

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Rebelmeg's BBB2023 Masterpost

I GOT A BLACKOUT! @buckybarnesbingo

B1 - Gunslinger | Teen | Bucky/Unspecified Partner | fanfic

Bucky is a gunslinger and has the hots for an unspecified opponent. That's it, that's the fic.

B2 - Cupcakes and Kisses - Chapter 12: Bucky's Birthday Present | Teen | Bucky/Darcy, Jane & Darcy, Bucky & Clint, Jane/Thor | Fanfic

Darcy tries to think of what to get Bucky for his birthday, Jane is unhelpful, Thor is very helpful, and Clint is her partner in actual crime.

B3 - Cupcakes and Kisses - Chapter 4: The Cupcake Hour | Teen | Darcy & Jane, Bucky/Darcy | fanfic

Jane hears all about Darcy's new crush, and then the science bestie meets baker, who has a question for Darcy.

B4 - Cupcakes and Kisses - Chapter 1: Plum Tasty | Teen | Bucky & Darcy | fanfic

Darcy follows the siren call of baked goods, and meets the love of her life. And also the stud working the register.

B5 - Bucky's Support Group | Gen | Bucky & Avengers | fanfic

While Bucky recovers from everything he's been through, the Avengers all pitch in to help him where they can. Russian lullabies, unexpected hugs, and other things aren't what he thought he'd need, but it turns out that his bizarre support group seems to know exactly how to do exactly that: support.

U1 - A Twitch Down Memory Lane | Teen | Bucky & Steve | fanfic

Two supersoldiers are having a relaxing afternoon on the couch at the Compound. And then something unlocks a small flood of memories. OR Before the serum, Steve had epilepsy. Bet that freaked the hell out of Bucky every time it happened.

U2 - Cupcakes and Kisses - Chapter 11: Drunk Dialing and Doughnuts | Teen | Bucky/Darcy, Jane & Darcy, Bucky & Clint, Jane/Thor | fanfic

Darcy and Jane get tipsy, Bucky makes doughnuts, and Clint knows a little too much about Jane's sex life.

U3 - Cupcakes and Kisses - Chapter 2: Sticky Sweet | Teen | Bucky & Darcy | Fanfic

Fate (otherwise known as a long workday and a missed bus) brings Darcy back to the bakery of her dreams. And the baker ain't so bad either.

U4 - Moodboard for Cupcakes and Kisses - Chapter 5: Kiss the Cook | Teen | Bucky/Darcy | moodboard

Moodboard for Bucky and Darcy's first date, roller blade and then a stop at the bakery afterward.

U5 - The End of the Scope | Gen | Bucky & Alpine | fanfic

The Asset has been out of cryo for awhile, and his conditioning is starting to break down. So when a tiny, scrappy kitten tries to play with the laser sight on his rifle, he can't help but play along. Just a little bit.

C1 - Heart Eyes Over Coffee | Gen | Bucky/Sarah Wilson | fanfic

Papa Bear Bucky (wow, does he hate that nickname) falls in love at first sight, while his work kids ogle and make helpful commentary. "Helpful" being extremely subjective…

C2 - Off the Beat | Gen | Bucky/Darcy | fanfic

Bucky spies a cutie at the club who is NOT dancing to the beat. Who brings headphones and their own music to a club?

C3 - Bucky Digital Collage | Gen | No Pairing | digital art

A li'l something I made with Bucky-themed themes in mind.

C4 - I'd Rather Be a Summer Soldier | Gen | Bucky & Steve | fanfic

Steve might like hanging out in the snow like a polar bear, but Bucky decidedly does not.

C5 - Cupcakes and Kisses - Chapter 6: Archery and Mirror Glaze | Teen | Darcy & Jane, Bucky & Clint, Bucky & Darcy | fanfic

Darcy meets Bucky's best friend, then gets to watch him do more sugar magic.

K1 - Cuddle Buck | Gen | BuckyNat | fanfic

Natasha finds out what Yasha needs, and with the help of her fellow Avengers, they give it to him.

K2 - Cupcakes and Kisses - Chapter 5: Kiss the Cook | Teen | Bucky/Darcy | fanfic

The first date is a great success, and Bucky has an extra surprise for Darcy back at the bakery.

K3 - Bot Shaming - Part 10 | Gen | Bucky & Dum-E & Tony | social media post/photo edit

Prankster bot Dum-E and Enabler Bucky make a mess of the workshop.

K4 - Scenes from an Italian Restaurant [chat version] | Mature | Bucky & Clint & Nat & Steve & Scott | brainstorming story spawning

Mafia boss Bucky Barnes recently bought closed Italian restaurant to use as his headquarters. A very tired Steve Rogers shows up for food, kicking off an unbelievable chain of events [chat version].

K5 - Cupcakes and Kisses - Chapter 8: Frosting Roses | Teen | Darcy & Jane, Jane/Thor, Bucky & Darcy | fanfic

Jane has a breakthrough and Bucky brandishes a piping bag.

Y1 - Cupcakes and Kisses - Chapter 7: Thievery and Cookery | Teen | Darcy & Jane, Jane/Thor, Bucky & Darcy | fanfic

Thor has committed a grave sin, and Bucky is in charge of fixing Darcy's cranky mood.

Y2 - Moodboard for A Cure For What Ails You | Gen | Bucky/sort of OFC | moodboard

Bucky has been busted out of HYDRA imprisonment by his suddenly huge but still reckless best friend. He's shaken up, he's got bits of memories that horrify him, and he just needs a minute alone to think. Instead... he finds an unexpected distraction while the soldiers are still giving three cheers for Captain America. In the middle of a war and in the worst possible place to start a romance, he finds a little bit of solace in a nurse with pretty brown eyes, a sweet smile, and a blush he could fall in love with.

Y3 - Moodboard for Cupcakes and Kisses - Chapter 13: Two Years Later | Teen | Bucky/Darcy | Moodboard

The bite-sized, sugar-coated epilogue that leads to a happily ever after, featuring a Bucky/Darcy wedding moodboard.

Y4 - Cupcakes and Kisses - Chapter 3: Glitter Sprinkles | Teen | Bucky/Darcy | fanfic

Darcy starts spending time in Bucky's kitchen, and discovers his sprinkle cabinet.

Y5 - Cupcakes and Kisses - Chapter 9: A Compote Murder | Teen | Bucky/Darcy, Bucky & Clint | Fanfic

Clint wreaks havoc in Bucky's kitchen, and Darcy helps to conquer a very large block of chocolate.

Adopted - Smell: Cupcakes and Kisses - Chapter 10: Give Me the Brownies and Nobody Gets Hurt | Teen | Bucky/Darcy | Fanfic

Darcy goes feral for brownies, and Bucky tries to contain the feral beast.

#rebelmeg's stuff #buckybarnesbingo2023 #bbb2023 #rebelmeg's masterlist

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thebibliomancer · 1 year ago

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Essential Avengers: West Coast Avengers #44: BETTER A WIDOW...

May, 1989

VisionQuest continues

Vision forgot to put his skin on today...

And Hank Pym's 'I'm not like the other superheroes' jumpsuit is awfully maroon today.

Anyway.

Last times on West Coast Avengers: John Byrne took over the book and a bunch of things changed between issues. Tigra, Wasp, and Dr Pym rejoined the team.

Then, a fake-Ultron attacked and Vision was kidnapped and unpersoned while the West Coast Avengers were distracted.

Mockingbird showed up to Explain It All and took the Avengers to the secret Vigilance base where Vision had been taken due to fears he'd try to take over the world again.

Only the West Coast Avengers arrived Too Late. And Wanda found her husband disassembled, his parts strewn everywhere. It'd be way too much gore for comics if he weren't a robot.

Even this splash page is kinda too much, even with robot bits.

My boy! Look how they massacred my boy!

;_;

The various scientist who were just taking Vision apart are very concerned that Scarlet Witch and probably the Avengers are here instead of somewhere else being distracted.

And Wanda is not sympathetic. In fact, she's as angry as someone would be if they found their spouse turned into a pile of anatomy.

Mockingbird, who has still more exposition to exposition, explains this was the end goal of the kidnap Vision scheme. To erase Vision along with any top secret data he may have picked up when he was the internet for a hot minute.

Wonder Man shows up with project head Cameron Brock under arm and tells him to exposition more.

And since Vision has already been taken apart, Brock has no problem spilling the beans.

Vigilance is not a KGB operation but they are involved running the detention cells, which is why Mockingbird thought it was a KGB operation.

Brock reveals, he's not KGB and he's not SHIELD either. He's CANADIAN.

DUN DUN DUNNNN

Wonder Man jokes about the concept of Canadian spies, showing that he has never heard of Wolverine. He then jokes about Australia, because he's going for all the hits.

Brock goes 'well actually my deputy chief is Australian.'

And he explains that Vigilance is actually a truly worldwide joint venture. Almost every security network on Earth sent a representative.

The Americans, the British, the French, the Russians, etc etc.

The kind of global cooperation almost unheard of -- all to specifically fuck up Vision.

Brock reiterates what he told Mockingbird. As long as Vision wasn't on the Avengers, everybody was willing to grit their teeth and let bygones be whatevers. But as soon as he rejoined (because Hawkeye was a sad sack who couldn't keep together a team), all the intelligence agencies put aside their differences to fuck up Vision.

Global peace, just like Vision wanted when he took over the internet. What ironies.

Wanda claims that Vision can be put back together. He is a robotty robot so clearly they just reassemble him and good as new.

Hank Pym shows up just to say nuh uh.

This is a theme in this issue. People showing up in the nick of time to say nuh uh.

Even though Hank is an expert in robotics despite being a biochemist and even though he's more familiar with Vision's systems than almost anyone, he's skeptical that humpty dumpty can be put back together again.

If Vision's brain was erased like Mockingbird said, Hank has no idea how to deal with that.

Wanda says that they can just borrow some brain patterns from Wonder Man again and use the backup memory file that Vision kept in the Avengers' computers.

Again, with this idea that Vision's brain is a computer that can be uploaded to external storage. I feel like that's at odds with how Vision has been portrayed in the past.

But it doesn't matter.

Vigilance wiped the Avengers' computer systems with a virus. Both the East and West Coast teams. There's no back-up.

(This is where John Byrne put in a backdoor, as some writers do when writing something that may be contentious. In this case, his backdoor to get out of this was that there's a copy of Vision's brain in the Titan supercomputer ISAAC. From the time that Vision linked with ISAAC.)

(John Byrne also uses the idea that Vision's brain can just be backed up as evidence that Vision isn't a real boy and is just an overly sophisticated appliance. The idea that he introduced. Sigh.)

With all the problems on the table, Hank says lets ignore the fact that Vision's unique personality is probably gone forever, erased by magnets or whatever. Just putting all the pieces back together is going to be hard enough.

Heck, the Vision was built from the base of the original Human Torch, the most sophisticated android ever created. That might be beyond Hank's level of skill!

And then Wasp shows up and goes nuh uh!

Not about Hank not being able to do it but about the thing he said about the robot Human Torch.

The shocking prisoner she found in the detention level that was so shocking it had to wait until this issue to reveal?

It's Phineas Horton, allegedly!

He supposedly died in Vision's backstory but we're about to take a big dump on that.

Vigilance wanted an expert in Vision's systems so they tried to find associates of Phineas Horton that might have worked with him on the Human Torch.

Instead they found the actual dude. Just casually not dead.

Hank is like okay weird that Vision thought this guy was dead but he could have been mistaken. Either way, hot damn, the exact expert we needed is right at hand!

And Dr Phineas Horton says nuh uh. He's already here so he didn't pop in just to say it but he's complementing Wasp's earlier nuh uh.

He's definitely the real Dr Phineas Horton (this man will later be retconned to be an imposter, womp womp, retcon tennis) and he doesn't recognize Vision's systems at all.

Vision is definitely not Horton's creation.

DUN DUN DUNNNNN

Elsewhere, Hawkeye didn't get the memo about waiting just outside the lab to pop in and nuh uh things so he's wandering around the backlot of the Vigilance base.

And I say backlot because aside from the main areas that Mockingbird saw and the stuff related to disassembling Vision and holding people prisoner, this entire base is just a mock-up. Just enough actually functional stuff to fool Mockingbird into thinking it was a fully operational secret SHIELD facility.

Hawkeye also wonders how the Vigilance team was able to capture Vision, which I also am wondering.

But he hears Tigra growling and follows the sound to find her having cornered a couple of Vigilance guys.

Vigilance Person: "You're Hawkeye! Help us!" Another Vigilance Person: "For god's sake... stop her!!"

Hawkeye calls Tigra's name which makes her swing her attention from nameless asshole 1 and 2 to pounce at Hawkeye.

I guess one of her uncontrollable cat instincts is to kill birds.

(Despite the narrative caption promising that all kinds of horrible injury is about to happen to Hawkeye, he's fine when we next see him and Tigra. Typical sensationalism, tsk tsk.)

For some ding dang reason, the narrative cuts to Absolom College in Texas where some shadowy collegiate figures are trying to choose a suitable subject from a list of mutants.

Forty-one candidates are rejected before Scarlet Witch is chosen for whatever this is all about.

If you're curious and have trouble with the tiny headshots, here's how the judging sorts out:

No: Angel, Avalanche, Blob, Caliban, Callisto, Cannonball, Cyclops, Destiny, Firestar, Forge, Iceman, Karma, Multiple Man, Magma, Malice, Mandrill, Marvel Girl, Mastermind, Mesmero, Mystique, Nekra, Nightcrawler, and Pyro.

Too powerful: Apocalypse, Magneto, and Rachael Phoenix.

Too weak: Banshee, Black Tom Cassidy. This category is reserved for the Cassidys, I guess.

Too unstable: Beast, Cloak, Dagger, Legion, Quicksilver.

Dead: Colossus, Cypher, Dazzler, Havok, and Rogue.

No longer viable: Magik, because she retconned herself back to a young girl in Inferno, or something.

Unverified: Sabra, Sabretooth.

This was hard because the marvel wiki didn't have them all. I had to go looking other places and at one point just pull up a list of Marvel mutants and check everything that fell between certain letters. Because, thankfully, this is alphabetized.

What's funny about the dead category is that Cypher is the only one who is actually dead. Everyone else just faked their deaths and moved to Australia.

Back at the plot, some paramedics take Dr Phineas Horton away for treatment. Because he was an old man and Vigilance was keeping him in a KGB-type detention cell. He's not in a great state.

Wanda asks Hank why Dr Phineas Horton IF THATS HIS REAL NAME (lol, its not, retroactively) would say that Vision isn't his work when we all know that Vision was repurposed from the body of the robot Human Torch.

Hank has no idea but he's also distracted by the police coming up and asking what they should do with the Vigilance dudes that the West Coast Avengers captured.

And Hank says 'fuck if I know, let them go, ain't no law'

Specifically, since Vigilance was every intelligence agency working together specifically to fuck Vision, they all have government approval and nothing they did is wrong. And/or have diplomatic immunity because they're from Canada or whatever.

Project head Cameron Brock smugs about how Hank figured out how untouchable they all are.

Wasp is like uh geez are you sure, Hank? They kidnapped Vision and reduced him to piles of bits. And Hank says they sure did but we can't do anything about it. We didn't know we were fighting the law but the law won. Can't fight city hall. Best they can do is call Agent Sikorsky, the Avengers' government liaison, and whine about it.

Hawkeye and Tigra rejoin the group, having missed the plot, and Hawkeye covers for Tigra by downplaying the incident as Tigra getting "a little carried away."

Since the West Coast Avengers can't do anything except take Vision's various components home and try to put him back together, Hank proposes they do just that. Just leave Vigilance and go home to pick up the pieces.

Scarlet Witch has one thing she wants to do first.

And she blows the Vigilance base the fuck up.

Good thing everyone was already outside.

I'm not through this arc yet. I'm not even through the issue yet. But I looked at marvel wiki and Vigilance only has two appearances. This issue and the previous issue.

So I'm going to maybe jump the gun a little and talk about why, however things play out from here on, this story is going to be unsatisfying.

I don't like that the Avengers just have to shrug and accept that the government(s) killed Vision and there's nothing they can do about it.

It's a lot like how many spider-fans are still pissed about One More Day. It's not just about the marriage. Spider-Man made a bum deal with the devil and he's never going to get to redeem himself as things stand.

Sometimes cruel things just happen and there's no recourse except to pick up the pieces and try to live your life. But the superhero genre tends to be more active than that. Situations can be punched. There's always someone that can be punched.

If the Implied President of the United States is behind an evil plot to use a mutant powered UFO to take over the country, you don't shrug and decide he's too big to fight. If you're Captain America, you chase him to the Oval Office and unmask him. For one, particularly bizarre, example.

I don't know that it would make a better story if the Avengers COULD fight Vigilance in some way but it would feel less empty.

This whole thing feels less like a story and more writer fiat. Just like starting the team with Tigra and Wasp and Dr Pym back so Byrne doesn't have to do the legwork to get the team where he wants it.

An evil governments conspiracy kidnaps Vision and takes him apart so he can be rebuilt in Byrne's preferred way, everyone stands around talk talk talking about how this change is totally irreversible and the Avengers also can't do anything to the people that did it. And then Vigilance fucks off to never be heard from again.

There's more legwork done but only enough to get the change on paper. Because having Vision change like he is going to (spoilers: Vision is not going to be a pile of parts forever) and have it happen between issues is too much for the audience to buy.

Also on topic, also spoilers: this is going to lead to one of the big OH NO WANDA HAS GONE CRAZY stories which was apparently the only research Brian Michael Bendis did before Disassembled. And it may not be a good story but it may have been a better story if Evil Crazy Wanda had gone after Vigilance. Instead of what she does do. Which is apparently try to have sex with Wonder Man.

Byrne is going to ragequit the book at some point so I'm not sure how much of that is his fault. But what a blatantly obvious plot point to leave on the table.

Anyway. That's my feelings about VisionQuest. Before we even see how it falls out. It's a drastic change jammed into the book without respecting the audience enough to make it a good story.

You know when a writer really wants to write to a certain conclusion and has to expend walls of text assuring the reader that this is clearly the only way this could possibly go down? That's what this all feels like.

So that rant having been ranted, let's move onto the beginning of another dumb plot point.

When the West Coast Avengers arrive back at the West Coast Avengers Compound, they discover a distress signal has been activated from the guest house - where Wanda and Vision have been living.

Understandably, Wanda assumes the worst. That Vigilance has come after her children too, she runs to the guest house.

The racist governess Miss Bach tries to tell Wanda that babies Tommy and Billy vanished into thin air after she put them into the bath. But when Wanda runs into the bathroom in a panic, she sees that her two babies are happily splashing around in the tub.

... Add John Byrne onto the list of artists that just can't draw a baby to save his life.

Miss Bach insists that she looked everywhere for the twins but Wanda assumes that the governess was playing a sick prank.

So she fires her ass, right on the spot.

Miss Bach appeals to Wasp that she was telling the truth. But Wasp can't tell Wanda not to fire her own personal staff. She at least promises Miss Bach that she'll get the proper severance pay.

Then we time skip two days later, where Wanda is sitting outside Hank Pym's lab while Hank tries to reassemble Vision.

It's apparently not as hard as Hank feared, just tedious. Each piece has only one place it can properly go so its just a matter of trying to find the proper place for hundreds of thousands of pieces.

Wanda wishes that they could contact the Real Professor Horton not that lying fake. Y'know, the real dead guy who died in Vision's backstory.

Scarlet Witch: "If that central fact was now to become untrue... everything we think we know about the Vision would become equally suspect."

Wonder Man says he wasn't around at the time but he loves poking holes in the Celestial Madonna Saga. That's his Thing now. So given what he's heard, he thinks Vision's backstory is sketchy if only because they heard it with the help of Immortus, who is a sketchy, manipulative man.

But then there's a loud WUMP as well as CRASH CLANG tinkle! THUD! from within the lab.

Hank sealed the lab behind a bunch of airlocked doors to prevent contamination to Vision's kibbles 'n bits and it'll take three minutes to open them all.

Or.

Wonder Man just forces them all open.

And then a robot hand shoots out of the lab and shoves Wonder Man to the floor.

Ohhhhhh! It's just Vision! He wandered off without putting on his pants or his skin!

Wanda caresses Vision's bare skull, begging him to say he recognizes her.

Terminator Vision backhands her.

Boo. Boo to you, skinless Vision.

Wonder Man grapples Vision, saying he's going to put him down for a nice nap until they can finish fixing him. But he's hesitant to use his FULL POWER on his brother so skinless Vision tosses him across the room.

Elsewhere in the building, Hawkeye is sitting around thinking about how weird Tigra has been.

What we missed off-panel is that he just used a gas arrow when she pounced at him, knocking her out until she calmed the fuck down.

That narrative caption promising horrible violence really lied.

After coming back from the Vigilance base, Tigra has been hiding away in her bungalow.

Hawkeye isn't sure why he promised to cover for her but WHOOPS INCOMING A-PLOT.

He hears the ruckus going on in the lab and hustles down to see skinless Vision hoisting Wonder Man around.

Hawkeye shoots a constrictor arrow at the rampaging synthezoid but Vision just flexes his way free.

Wonder Man tells Wanda she's got to use her bullshit win-button powers to win because brute force isn't working and that's all he knows.

Wanda refuses to use her powers against Vision because she's worried that she doesn't have precise enough control of her hexes and that she might make him blow up.

She DID blow up a building a couple days ago. But she was really mad at that building.

And while Wanda is paralyzed, refusing to help, Vision picks up Hawkeye and shakes him upside down.

Its pretty funny.

I will say that it does make sense that Wanda would be hesitant to use her powers on the robo-man she loves. Its similar to how Wonder Man is pulling his punches.

But I do note that Wanda has been pretty useless this entire story. She was hypnotized to be unable to fight Fake-Ultron. Not sure why that was actually necessary but it was the explanation. And now she's not able to participate in the fight against skinless Vision.

She did blow up a building though.

I also have to say that Skinless Vision is a pretty intimidating antagonist.

His arm shooting out of the smokey lab to grab Wonder Man. Striking Scarlet Witch with no trace of emotion. Staggering around in the shadows as he moves on the collapsed Wanda. The way he tosses around Wonder Man and Hawkeye using just his robot strength, not his density powers. His robot noises being more audible without his skin in the way. Just the way he looks like a flayed corpse.

I gotta give props where props is earned because otherwise this post is going to be just bitter. And props, skinless Vision is alarming.

Anyway. Back to the plot. Where Scarlet Witch refuses to help.

Wonder Man: "You've got to take that chance, Wanda! Trust that your power won't permanently harm someone you love! But do it now! Before he kills Hawkeye -- or me!" Scarlet Witch: "No! No! Forgive me! I can't! I just can't!!" Dr Pym: "That's all right, Wanda..."

Hey, thank goodness for Hank Pym.

And that answers how Vigilance kidnapped Vision.

The device Hank has is a neutralizer that Vigilance used to shut Vision off for kidnapping reasons.

All the ruckus Wanda and Wonder Man heard in the lab was Hank reactivating Vision and then Vision smashing stuff up because when he's activated without his brain functioning, he defaults to defensive actions.

Hank only just regained consciousness and shut Vision back down.

SO THATS ALL EXPLAINED.

Skinless Vision is more of Brainless Vision. Head empty, no thoughts, just lashing out.

Hawkeye decides that this is his cue to call Washington and yell at Avengers liaison Sikorski.

Hawkeye: "Look, Sikorski, I don't care if I woke you out of your death bed! I want to know what you paper-pushers are gonna do about the Vision!" Sikorski: "Do? You seem to be missing the point, archer. We've already done it. The Vision has been rendered harmless. He presents no further threat to the security of this nation... Or any other, for that matter. You Avengers are now at liberty to reprogram him to suit whatever function you wish."

Wow. What an asshole.

He's still better than Henry Peter Gyrich but only because Gyrich would have said the same things and been 1000% smug about it.

God I hate Gyrich.

I'm glad Abigail Brand shoved him out of an airlock.

Anyway. Implication seems to be that Sikorski was In On It or at least was told after the fact and agreed 'yeah, excellent decisions all around.'

Vision isn't a dude. He was a malfunctioning appliance that had to be reset to factory settings so he could get back to Fighting Crime Or Whatever.

Hank argues that a) the Avengers can't just reprogram Vision that easily, b) the Vision they knew has effectively been killed by death of personality, and c) even putting aside all that, this is going to fuck up Wanda.

Which Sikorski acknowledges and says he regrets. That specific point.

What an asshole.

Anyway, as long as the Avengers called him to yell at him, Sikorski has some information he should have told them earlier but I guess he forgot or he's just shit at his job.

On top of killing Vision, the government has also decided that the West Coast Avengers and Vision need direct government oversight and have sent someone to take over the team. And the West Coast Avengers either accept this or the government cracks down on their future activities.

OKAY HAVE FUN WITH THE NEW GUY BYYYYYYE

And judging by the silhouette, it seems like the new guy is an old guy. A guy they can all get along with.

But silhouettes often lie in comics and this is the opposite of all that. A new guy that none of them can get along with.

When the government issued an ultimatum our way or the highway to Captain America and he quit and became the Captain, the government gave the Captain America name, costume, and shield to John Walker.

But recently, you may have noticed that good ol' Steve Rogers is back in his old costume and name and shield. Well, the government gave Cap's the Captain outfit to John Walker and dubbed him U.S.Agent.

And by editorial mandate governmental order, he's joining the West Coast Avengers.

Yeah, actually, it was editorial mandate.

According to John Byrne, editor Gruenwald, who created John Walker, insisted that Byrne put him in the West Coast Avengers book.

A captain-esque guy on every team!

John Byrne, who rankles at any degree of editorial meddling, had him written in as being forced on the team by an uncaring asshole higher power so he can annoy everyone on the team and not fit in.

John Byrne is not subtle sometimes.

Buuuuut. Like I said with the Worst Roster. A team having friction is very often more interesting. And there's a kind of poetic irony to Hawkeye having been the asshole constantly butting heads with Captain America getting his own Brand X Captain America to be the asshole to butt heads with him.

It rhymes.

So VisionQuest continues for another issue but AS OF RIGHT NOW I have to say it takes a sharp dip in quality after the first issue.

The first issue really jumped into things with a newish team suddenly assaulted by a Fake Ultron and having Vision stolen right out from under them.

Issues 2 and 3 are in full justification and retcon mode so it all bogs down into walls of text and explaining how this sequence of events is the only sequence of events.

I'm actually excited to see U.S.Agent here to shake things up and be a pebble in the team's shoe right when they're already going through the identity death of a beloved teammate.

Just please. Fewer walls of text.

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#avengers #essential avengers #west coast avengers #Vigilance #Hawkeye #Hank Pym #Dr Pym #Scarlet Witch #the Vision #Wonder Man #the Wasp #Tigra #Mockingbird #Phineas Horton #mysterious shadowy college project #the government is a dick but what else is new #last page new team member

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