#hot priest Javi G

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Gif credits

Gif credits

It wasn’t your fault.

Pairing/Au: Sweet gentle priest!Javi G X hurt grumpy!Joel Miller, post cordyceps outbreak. Did I just put Javi G in the outbreak? Yep, I did, sorry lol

Words count: 4758

Rating: +18

Warnings: POV third person, Javi is a priest in a community (I didn't use Jackson because I know almost nothing about the plot of the second game - I know that thing, yes 💔), it's a community organized similarly to how I saw in the first game), angst but also comfort, smut - gentle smut- , violence (very briefly), oral sex, drinking, suicidal thoughts, masturbation, Joel is grumpy af and he’s grieving hard because the same thing that happened with Sarah in the show/game happened in this universe, they're both implicitly bisexual in my head byeeeee, I won't put any other warnings so as not to spoil the plot, I hope I don't trigger anyone.

I've been trying different pairings lately and I have to say that I really enjoyed writing this one ❤️

I don't know why I thought of writing another hot priest story but in my head it worked, I hope you like it too. (I also put a Fleabag quote in it, yep)

No beta reader, English is not my first language so please, be kind, I apologize for any mistake.

When the outbreak began Javi had wandered with a couple of other people looking for a stable shelter. He was sure that God would help him. He was sure of it because he had dedicated his entire life to him. And then, who wouldn't help a priest? He had entered the seminary very young, under the pressure of his mother who was a fervent Catholic and dreamed of a safe life for him, in the arms of God.

He hadn't done it just for her but because he truly believed in it.

God seemed to have taken him under his wing and this gave him a lot of comfort, he was sure he had made the right choice.

He had been sent to America from Spain a few years after finishing his studies and assigned to a parish in Boston when the outbreak had swept away everything he had built, his efforts to keep the community united, the charitable initiatives and the changes that he had worked so hard to achieve.

He had a beautiful parish, faithfuls who respected him and saw in him a guide, everything he had always wanted.

And then he lost everything.

He had wandered for months with the only two parishioners who had escaped death with him, wondering if he would ever find peace.

They had found them on a Sunday in January, on a dirt road near a ruined corn field and had welcomed them into their group without problems.

Javi had thought that God had not forgotten him, a way of salvation was possible even in the midst of that destruction.

He immediately worked to bring comfort and be a useful member of the community, helping to look for food and useful materials to build fences and small houses. Over the years he had even managed to build a small church with the help of others, nothing fancy, just a small wooden structure with a crucifix that they had found during a patrol but it was still more than he had hoped for in that situation.

He led an overall peaceful existence now, he would never forget who he had lost and the horrors he had witnessed, but he still had faith in God and his plan for him.

Joel had arrived one morning in May.

They had found him barricaded in a grocery store, alone, and despite having tried to chase them away, in the end he had agreed to go with them.

He hadn't eaten for days because there was nothing edible left in the shop and he was also running out of bullets that he had collected for his weapon.

He was a lonely, introverted man of few words, with a tough appearance.

They had welcomed him mainly because they had discovered that Joel was a former contractor and this meant that he was able to repair fences, houses and build new structures if there were any need.

Javi had immediately sensed that there was something broken inside Joel, he had tried to talk to him several times but Joel's response had always been contemptuous.

One thing Javi had never admitted to himself was that he had sexual urges.

In fact, his only experiences date back to when he was a teenager and had kissed a girl who attended the same literature course as him, and another time, the last before entering the seminary a few months later, in which he had almost had sex with a boy.

He got drunk for the first time at a party and his friend Josè drove him home in his car. Javi was saying nonsense and Josè was laughing but trying to calm him down at the same time. They had been friends for many years and Javi had great admiration for him, he was a funny, kind and generous person with the ambition of one day becoming a great doctor.

They kissed in front of his house, while Josè tried to unfasten his seat belt to get him out of the car. They looked at each other and their mouths got close in an instant, Javi was shocked but at the same time incredibly excited. Panting into Josè’s mouth he felt something strong and shocking that had shaken his entire body making him forget for a moment his plans for the future.

He was already taking off his shirt while Josè had straddled him and continued kissing him, when he regained his lucidity and stopped.

He was about to give in but he hadn't.

He had rushed out of the car and entered the house with his heart beating wildly in his chest, without even saying goodbye to his friend.

He hadn't thought about it anymore, he had simply buried that memory in a hidden part of him without ever looking back. Only on cold nights spent out in the open had he remembered Josè.

He had wondered what had happened to him, if he had been saved and he hoped that he was well.

He missed that friend, it was difficult to admit he was the person who had made him feel alive the most throughout his life.

He no longer felt anything for anyone, he concentrated on studying and becoming a worthy priest. Everything had gone well. Until he saw Joel.

Joel definitely had something that reminded him of Josè, his dark brown eyes, his wavy hair, the ironic and teasing way he looked at him. Even Josè had never understood his choice to become a priest and Joel seemed to have the same skepticism.

He had made it clear that he did not believe in God and that he was totally uninterested in the mass that Javi celebrated every Sunday morning.

He had never once participated, preferring to work in the fields or do some repairs around the small village.

“I don't care about prayers, father, try it with someone else.” He replied in an annoyed tone when Javi tried to convince him “but since you believe in it so much why don't you ask your God why he made this happen.”

He spat on the ground while he was plowing a courgette field, looking at him with a derisive look.

It was as if he had spit on everything Javi believed in.

He didn't talk to him anymore, focusing on the other people in the community who were happy to listen to him instead.

Over the next few months, he noticed how much Joel had started drinking and acting like he was angry with the whole world.

He had never been particularly outgoing or talkative but was still friendly to everyone and went out of his way to help with whatever he could.

In the following months he had somehow faded away, Javi had noticed an ever-increasing decline. From a useful member of the community he had become a grumpy, intolerant man who never missed an opportunity to argue.

Someone had found some cases of whiskey hidden in an abandoned distillery during a search.

They had managed to transport them to the village and from then on Joel would often sneak in to steal a bottle or two.

He had been scolded several times but had never stopped. He seemed to care less and less what others thought and the umpteenth time Joel had made a scene at a man who had seen him sneak out of the warehouse with a bottle, Javi had decided it was enough.

He had to try to make it stop.

He knocked on his door with his heart in his mouth, praying to God to give him the strength to face it.

Joel threw open the door and looked at him as if he had just seen a pesky insect.

“What the hell do you want, father?” he hissed at him.

“I'd like to talk to you, Joel. Just talk to you. Please"

“I already told you I don't give a fuck, go give your sermons somewhere else”

He was about to close the door when Javi managed to stop it with his arm, holding it open with difficulty.

“Joel you can't continue like this, they'll kick you out”

“Who cares. You shouldn't care either, Father, go and tell fairy tales about God to the children and leave me alone for a damn time”

“Come on, let me in”

“No. Fuck you, father” he replied with growing anger, trying to slam the door in his face again.

Javi held the door open again with a strength he didn't even know he had. “Stop it, Joel, let me in,” he said in a firm voice.

Joel shrugged, irritated by Javi's insistence but also resigned to the fact that Javi wasn't leaving.

“Fuck. Whatever. Come on in. I don't know what the fuck you think you're solving”

Javi walked into the house as Joel flopped onto a tatty black leather couch in his living room.

“I'm just trying to make you see sense. No matter how strong and skilled you are, you won't be able to survive out there alone for long. They found you without food or water, you were about to die of starvation, do you remember this?”

“Yes, I fucking remember this, Father.” he muttered.

Every time Joel called him Father, Javi heard an ironic tone in his voice, a growing contempt.

“So what do you think you're going to do?” he replied, crossing his arms over his chest and raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t know and most of all, I don’t fucking care, Father.”

"Why do you behave like this? Why do you keep getting drunk and making a scene, what's wrong?”

Joel looked at him as if he couldn't believe his ears “What exactly on earth do you want from me?? It's my business and I have no intention of becoming one of your lost sheep, I felt like that was clear from the start”

Javi could see his intense pain behind that defiant look.

“Why do you suddenly hate everyone? What did these people do to you? They took you in and fed you and gave you a roof over your head, don't you think you should at least be grateful to them for saving you?”

“Saved me from what, exactly? You know nothing about me Father."his eyes darted in disgust and pain.

Javi suddenly understood.

There was something that devoured him and tormented him with each passing day.

“You loved people before this, didn't you? And you lost them. You're hurting, Joel. I can see it. Why don't you tell me what happened?”

Joel got up from the couch going towards him, grabbed the collar of his shirt and slammed him against the wall shouting “What would you like to do huh? Psychoanalyze me? Make me confess? Convince me that prayers will save me?”

Javi could smell the whiskey on his breath, it rose strong and sour to his nostrils.

“I just want to help you. What would you want to do? Hit me? Punch me in the face? Kick me maybe? And then what would you have solved?” He replied, remaining calm.

Javi was sure he was chipping away at his armor, he could see it in his eyes, no matter how hard Joel tried to resist.

Joel slapped him forcefully, Javi's cheek burned with pain and for a moment he thought about turning on his heels and leaving him to destroy himself. But he couldn't.

“Maybe you don't understand, so let me make it clear to you once and for all. There is no damn solution. She will never come back” he shouted in his face only to hear his words die in his throat. Javi managed to make him say what he had never spoken about to anyone.

His eyes were even darker than usual, marked by deep wrinkles that drew all the pain of his soul on his face, making it evident to Javi's aware and attentive gaze.

“Who have you lost, Joel?”

“Nobody, it's none of your business”

“Tell me,” he said calmly, “I know you're scared but it will do you some good.”

Joel was still holding him firmly against the wall but Javi was no longer afraid.

“Fuck you, Father. Fuck you. Go away from here and leave me alone. I will never talk to you"

“Tell me who you lost, Joel” he repeated sweetly. It seemed to him that Joel's pain filled the room.

He was one step away from collapsing, but Javi was sure that getting rid of that burden that he had never shared with anyone would help him. It was a mourning that he had never processed.

“My daughter,” Joel said suddenly and let go of Javi as if all his strength had failed him at that moment.

“It wasn't your fault” Javi said, looking him in the eyes.

"What do you know about it? You weren't there, you don't know what happened" Joel's eyes were filling with tears, he was finally letting out that vulnerable part of him that he had been trying to repress for years.

“It wasn’t your fault” Javi repeated

Joel looked at him once again as if he were crazy. “You don't know shit, stop it"

“It wasn’t your fault” Javi's voice was calm, delicate, but resolute at the same time. He was determined to make him understand.

Joel pushed him by the shoulders. “Get out of here,” he shouted

“It wasn’t your fault”

“Stop repeating that. Stop it or I swear I'll break your jaw"

“It wasn’t your fault”

Javi didn't stop in the face of threats, he didn't care, he could beat him if he wanted but at that point he could never leave him alone.

“Jesus, fuck” Joel muttered and he covered his face with his hands to hide the tears that were streaming down his face. He clenched his teeth so hard that Javi could hear the noise “yes, it was my fucking fault! I was her father, I should have protected her and I wasn't able to do it. She's dead and I'm still alive and it's not fucking fair."

Joel leaned against the wall, crying loudly, his sobs coming out of his throat like a clash of blades.

“I lost people too, Joel. It wasn’t your fault”

“I'm good for nothing, maybe I just deserve to die”

Javi approached him and took his face in his hands “This isn't true, Joel”

“I don't deserve anything” he murmured through tears

“That’s not true. Look into my eyes. That's not true, Joel. It wasn’t your fault”

Joel stared at him with pain in his eyes that gripped Javi's heart.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“It was…” Joel sighed “it happened on the first day of the outbreak, we were running away and we found ourselves in a field near the city and a soldier saw us and shot, I tried to shout that we weren't infected but it didn't help, he didn't believe me... I don’t know. Sarah was injured. She died in my arms without me being able to do anything to save her”

Javi understood why he had changed lately. In a few days it would be the anniversary of Sarah's death.

Joel cried silently, tears streaming down his face, wetting his lips and chin.

Instinctively he approached and kissed him.

Joel widened his eyes as he pulled away from him “what are you doing?”

“It wasn’t your fault” Javi repeated once again, reaching out to caress his cheek, covered in a thin, salt and pepper, unkempt beard.

He kissed him again and this time Joel leaned into the kiss.

Javi felt his lips part as tears wouldn't stop falling.

Javi deepened the kiss and Joel didn't resist, he laced his hands behind Javi's neck moaning into his mouth, licking greedily as if he were starving, sucking on his bottom lip and biting it as if he was trying to feed on him.

Javi didn't know what he was doing, but he knew he didn't want to stop.

He wondered if God would forgive him but in that moment all he wanted was Joel. He wanted him desperately, he wanted him in a way he had never wanted anyone, he couldn't let him go.

He knew it from the first time he saw him, covered in rags and smelly, when they brought him to the village.

He knew it from the first time he looked into his eyes and saw his desperation and couldn't stop thinking about it.

He knew it from the first time he wanted to touch him, to see what was under those filthy clothes and felt his erection pressing against his pants.

Like all his impulses, he had tried to suppress it, but now he couldn't do it anymore.

Javi's hands moved feverishly as he unbuttoned Joel's shirt, he looked him in the eyes as if he were asking him to free him, to make him good, there was a sort of silent invocation in his gaze to which Javi could only respond.

They were both impatient, clumsy, hopeless as they ripped each other's clothes off.

Joel tore off the white collar from his neck, knocked off all the buttons on his black priest's shirt and took his lips again licking into his mouth like his life depended on it.

Javi unbuttoned and pulled down his pants and Joel took them off by stepping on them and kicking them.

They couldn't take their eyes off each other, it was as if they were in a time and space where only they existed, nothing that had happened mattered anymore.

Joel's pain was still welling up in his eyes and Javi wanted nothing more than to ease it.

He took his face in his hands and kissed him again, their tongues intertwining and chasing each other, their saliva mixing, Joel's lips tasting like his tears, it was too much, all too much for Javi to stop.

Joel gasped looking into his eyes “Fuck. Fuck me. Now. Please, Javi”

It was the first time he called him by name, without making fun of him, he was no longer "Father", he was just Javi.

Javi moved a hand down to his boxers, making room to enter, he could see his erection and wanted to touch him with everything he had.

He surrounded his cock, squeezing it, felt it throbbing under his fingers and began to massage it slowly, without stopping looking into his eyes.

"Is that what you want?"

“Yes” Joel replied in a breath “Fuck, don’t stop”

Javi went down his length, then came back up and began to pump him, without haste, trying to enjoy that sensation to the fullest. It was the first time he had touched someone like that, he wasn't sure if he was doing it right. He felt it warm, wet and slippery like silk between his fingers.

Joel's body was shaking, he stammered "please, pl- please"

Joel buried his face in the crook of his neck, sighing into his skin, Javi put a hand in his hair, tangling his fingers in his curls, pulling gently “Look at me. Look at me while I do this”

Joel raised his face and looked at him, his eyes glassy and feverish. Joel had done it many times, alone, in the dark, in the silence of his room, and then stopped entirely when the tragedy occurred. He would never have thought that one day it would be another man doing it. Not after the outbreak and not after he lost Sarah. Sex hadn't been on his mind for years, there was nothing else filling his thoughts other than the fact that his daughter would never return.

He had convinced himself that he didn't deserve to feel good, to feel relief.

Javi's eyes were now telling him that he was wrong, that he deserved another chance and that life wasn't over, even though Sarah would always remain a part of him, a pain he couldn't forget.

Javi continued to massage him, staring into his eyes "it's okay, Joel, you deserve to feel good too"

It was like he was reading his mind and Joel didn't know how it was possible but Javi was taking a load off his shoulders.

Javi increased the pace, fisting his entire length, feeling him twitching and shaking under his touch.

Joel couldn't hold it back any longer

“I think I’m about to co-” he muttered “fuck, I’m coming Javi, I’m coming”

“It’s okay, give to me, give it all to me” Javi replied

Joel grunted and shuddered and released long strings of cum into Javi's hand.

Javi held onto him by the waist, continuing to stroke him as he calmed down enjoying the warmth of his broad chest against his bare skin.

“God. I haven't felt this way in years” Joel said leaning on Javi's shoulder.

Javi put his hand in his hair and whispered, "I've never felt like this before."

Joel looked up at him in disbelief just for a moment before remembering that Javi was a priest.

A priest who had probably never had sex in his life.

“Fuck. Oh fuck, this is your first time? Have you never done anything like this before?”

“No” Javi replied “of course not. Well, I kissed a girl once. And I almost… uhm… done something with a boy”

“Holy fuck”

“Could you not swear??” Javi smiled caressing his neck and then lowering his hand to his chest.

“I don't think it's the time to be moral” Joel laughed softly

They sat together on the couch, Javi resting his head on Joel's shoulder.

“So…since you're still half naked…is there anything else you'd like to do?”

Joel ruffled Javi's hair as his laughter vibrated on his skin.

“uh, well… I would like…” and he kissed him again “you know… I would like you to fuck me”

“How?”

“I think… with your mouth, Joel. Just for now”

“Is it too early for?”

“Yeah. I think… yeah.”

“It’s okay, it’s not like I have so much experience with that”

“Have you ever done it?”

“Like, a couple of times… 20 years ago? With girls only”

“Oh”

Joel was still playing with Javi’s hair, weaving his fingers into his curls and gently unraveling them.

“Did you think I was more experienced?”

“Definitely”

“Why?”

“Because… well, because you’re insanely hot” Javi admitted shyly

Joel laughed “Am I?”

“Yes” Javi said, looking up and getting lost in his eyes.

Joel kissed him hungrily and in a breath he replied "you too"

Joel knelt at the foot of the sofa and Javi looked at him enraptured. He began to undo Javi’s trousers with his hands shaking. He wanted to do it, he was eager to see Javi's cock and wondered what he tasted like, but at the same time he also wondered what would happen if he didn't like it.

He slowly took off his boxers and his cock spring free, already wet and hard.

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned” he whispered.

His mouth was watering at the vision.

Javi laughed “really very appropriate”

“It is. Fuck. Look at that” Joel's gaze was fixed on Javi's cock.

“Well, you're really unbearable sometimes but at least you're good at making people feel good whenever you want…who would have thought”

Joel squinted and his lips curved into a smile.

“Oh I know I can do much better than this” he said, moving his hand down Javi's tummy, on that happy trail of hair that went down to his groin.

Joel leaned down to lick the tip and Javi sighed. It was sticky and salty and musky, like nothing he had ever tasted.

He liked it.

He wanted more.

He lowered himself further to reach the base and came up with his tongue flat on its entire length and then back down again.

It was warm under his tongue, soft and wet.

Javi groaned "Oh my God" and wished he would go faster but Joel took his time and Javi wanted to respect that.

Joel circled the base with his hand and he licked the tip, just the tip three, four times, trying various angles, first only with the tip of the tongue then flat on the frenulum, and then he tried to surround it entirely with his mouth, letting his tongue swirling on it.

He was gaining confidence. It's not that he had never had oral before, he had always enjoyed doing it with all the girls he had had but he didn't know if it would be different with a man. He decided that it was just as pleasant if not more so. He felt Javi throbbing under his fingers, quivering under his tongue and every shake of his body made him proud and satisfied that he was doing well. He wanted to make him feel good.

He made his length disappear inside his mouth, he felt it slide deliciously on his tongue and on the roof of his mouth.

Javi was big, bigger than he would have imagined and feeling him harden in his mouth made him gasp a little, he understood for the first time why his ex-girlfriends took so long to get used to him. He was big too, maybe slightly bigger than Javi, he was certainly a lot to take in.

Javi murmured “please, Joel” and he began to move, up and down his length sucking on the tip when he reached the top, hiding his teeth behind his lips.

He looked Javi in ​​his shining eyes as he did it and in his gaze he read a mixture of gratitude and impatience, it was as if he was urging him to go faster but at the same time he was trying to focus on every single sensation he was making him feel.

He felt his veins pulsing against his lips as he moved up and down to stroke him with his tongue.

He spat on the tip, then spread his saliva all around with just one finger, careful to be gentle, and started sucking again. Hearing Javi moan softly sent a rush of adrenaline straight to his head, he was intoxicated by him, by the taste of him, by his husky sounds of approval.

“God, you’re so good”

Joel pulled out with a pop

"Do you like it? Tell me how much you like it” he whispered, his lips dangerously close to Javi's cock, so much so that he could feel the vibration of words and the heat of his breath right on the tip.

“Too much, I like it too much. Please - ha - please don't stop"

Joel took one of his balls in his hand, squeezing it slowly as he continued to work on his length.

His mouth was now full of his cock, his breath short, and Javi begins to slowly move his hips, rocking against his face, feeling Joel's nose repeatedly bump against his crotch.

He arched his back and pulled his head back squeezing his eyes and Joel knew that he was right on the edge.

“Oh God. Fuck. Oh fuck- GOD” Javi hissed as a gush of seed hit Joel's throat and he swallowed all he could, the taste of Javi now enveloping his entire mouth.

Javi was panting, his whole body was shaking with tremors, Joel held him tightly by the hips so he wouldn't slip and continued to suck it until he felt him relax.

He stood up feeling his knees hurt “Christ, I'm too old for this” sitting back down on the couch, his head leaning back on the backrest, exhausted.

Javi laughed softly, caressing his chest, playing with one of his nipples "I think you did great"

Joel turned to look at him “did you like it?” and Javi replied with a malice that he felt he had never had before “what did it seem like to you, huh?”

“I don't know Father, I think so since I heard you swear” he smiled back, stroking Javi’s hand

“I didn't swear at all”

“Well, almost” and he laughed. He laughed like he didn’t do in years.

“Are you feeling better?” Javi asked, resting his head on his chest.

“Yes. Yes, a little. Thanks to you” and kissed Javi's hair inhaling his clean scent.

“Mourning is a winding road, but it is worth traveling and overcoming”

“Javi?”

“Yes?”

“Can you promise me something?”

“I think so, what?”

“I know you're a priest but…don't give me church bullshit while I'm trying to go down this path, can you?”

Javi rolled his eyes “Okay, Miller”

“Thank you, Father”

“Oh don't call me father like it doesn't turn you on just saying it.”

Joel laughed heartily "Does it hurt?"

“What?”

“Your cheek, dummy” said Joel, caressing him over the mark he had left with his knuckles.

“I wasn't even thinking about it anymore”

“I’m sorry” Joel said said softly

“It’s okay”

“Next time I won't hit you”

Javi felt a smile spreading out on his face “do you mean there will be a next time?”

“If you want, Father. Are you worried about not seeing the gates of heaven?”

“Stop calling me that. And btw, no, I’m not worried”

“Good. because I'm not going to keep my hands to myself”

“I won’t complain, Miller” and he kissed the bald patch in his beard, feeling better than he had in years. If God hadn't forgiven him, it would have been worth it.