#hot in hindsight but i xannot stress enough how much i didnt plan for it

[pissheartmybeloved]

I got to experience the terror of actually running to the bathroom in a train station the other day bc I genuinely couldn't hold it much longer and I thought I was gonna have an accident. like. I was using everything in me to keep holding on for like a minute more so I could make it to a toilet but GOD it was close.

I'd been on a rly busy train and I'd needed to go fairly badly when I got on, but I figured I'd just pee on the train bc I was too shy to excuse myself beforehand. but I got on and it was PACKED. like I genuinely couldn't get down the train so I had no choice but to hold it. and I thought I was gonna have to get off the train before my stop bc I was gonna have an accident if I waited. but I made it to the station and had to jog/speed walk to the barriers. and THEN I got lost in my rush and had to go up and down some stairs whilst whining under my breath and when I finally made it there was a queue. which NEVER happens in mena bathrooms so I was just shifting around, surrounded by the sounds of people relieving themselves whilst I thought I was gonna lose control right there.

it's the most desperate I've ever been in public and it was TERRIFYING. I'd kinda accepted that I might not make it and I'd have to change but I was filled with this deep fear of having an accident surrounded by all those people and them all seeing that I couldn't hold it long enough to get to a bathroom that I was on like. superhuman levels of holding. and my stomach was cramping from needing to pee so bad and my head was swimming and I was dancing around with my legs pressed together in this fucking queue, just completely humiliating myself and SO obvious that I was absolutely on the verge of going.

and finally FINALLY a stall opened up and I could run inside, literally barely managed to lock it before I started going, had to rip my trousers down and just hope that I'd made it without major leaks showing through. most relieving piss of my goddamn life. slumped over rubbing my poor overstretched bladder, assessing the damage I'd done leaking and in disbelief that I'd actually made it to a toilet in time. I just sat there for ages making sure my body was totally empty before I got up again.

yeah that was crazy! I really thought that would be the end for me and I'd lose control in the middle of a train station, minutes away from a bathroom, after actively holding for nearly an hour. I'm still blushing typing this out, remembering how squirmy and obvious I was about being desperate around all those strangers.