#horror of grief doesn't work because he's never out of control

[wilsonpussyindulgence]

just read an interview where emerald fennell says saltburn is "gothic" and like..........no, it's not. it simply Is Not That.

you can't have a man fuck a grave and be like "ooh just like wuthering heights! this is gothic" because guillermo del toro and i are both going to fight you

[a-simple-imagine]

Tear apart the heart

synopsis: you just watched your girlfriend die right in front of you

pairing: victoria neuman x reader

words: 1k+

WARNINGS - themes of grief, blood, death, mention of body pieces

she promised you the world and instead, you got the most disgusting makeshift lab you ever had the displeasure of stepping inside. but it really didn't matter anymore.

that heavy feeling in your chest is brand spanking new. you search your brain for a comparison but it's like nothing you've ever felt before. it's almost suffocating. blocking off the one thing keeping you alive right now. air. gross, dingy air that was so polluted with chemicals and old take out, it almost knocked you sick but now a hint of copper joined this mix. an unwelcome change. a tickle against your cheek. you reach up to remove the tear. only it is red as it slips from the tip of your finger down your hand and to your wrist. you wanted to believe it was fake even as it trickled down your forearm. so desperate for none of this to be real. but deep down you know it is. it's blood. her blood. and maybe the droplets that adorn your skin should have been actually tears but they just never came. did that make youan evil person? undoubtedly. everyone cries when someone dies. it's like the first thing that's expected. but you just couldn't. what you felt inside wasn't sadness per se. or maybe it was. you couldn't tell. it didn't feel like when you were normally about to cry. this felt all-consuming. you felt rigid in this moment. unable to process anything. This wasn't ordinary. most people didn't watch the person they loved get ripped in two. weren’t drenched in tiny pieces of their girlfriend. it felt comical in a way. perhaps that was why you were having such a hard time acknowledging it. people don't just get ripped in half. this wasn't a comic book or some mid-budget horror film which gaineda startling cult following because they used practical effects instead of CGI for the gore but they didn't overdo it with the gore either. it was tasteful. no. this wasn't tasteful. you don't know what this is. you can hardly even look at her. you want to go back. dear god. you shouldn't have given in so easily.

"did you order the food?" you question, glancing up from her laptop that you had been playing on.

"What?" a brief blank expression that settles into a gentle smile. the kind of smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. "no. sorry."

"Can I order something?" a silent nod puts you to work and decides what to have. "who were you talking to then- on the phone?"

"Hughie,"

the name alone forms a pit in your stomach. you used to think so fondly of him. you'd met him a great many times but that was before. "you can't be serious,"

"Just hear me out"

"no, Victoria- that man has tried to kill you multiple times," you express. "what could you possibly want from him?"

"out," a simple word. She cares not to elaborate as she walks closer to the kitchen aisle. taking her laptop, she spins it around to face her. "so what are we eating?"

"what do you mean out?"

she shrugs. "I want out. out of everything. I just- I can't do this anymore."

your heart beats a little faster. out of everything? out of this? that wouldn't explain the conversation with Hughie. although they used to be close friends. "what?"

"he's gonna help me get out of this mess," she expresses. "I think I wanted this for a while. like genuinely wanted it not just because of what was happening around me or stan or whatever. but now it's just not something that makes any sense."

"Vic,"

"It's pathetic really but I'm just never gonna be more than a puppet. and that's not what I want- I don't wanna be under anyone's control, y'know?"

"Sure," a lopsided smile with a hint of shrug. you didn't get it. felt like a few pieces of the puzzle were missing. a small sigh leaves her painted lips as she walks over to you. your eyes trail after her until you're staring into all too familiar eyes. usually so steely but today they possess a flicker of something different.

"Hughie is gonna help me get out. if I do this- if I help them bring down homelander then I just get to live my life away from all the bullshit. I realised all I want now is to be with Zoe. and with you too."

"Are we just skipping the part where he and his friends tried to murder you? how can we trust them?" you wonder what she can see in your eyes. the fear of what's to come. the joy of knowing she was willing to give up everything to be with you? That was a crazy thought. a crazy thing to admit. Victoria was gentle with you and loving but this felt like a different level of vulnerability. one you never saw from her.

"I'm not asking you to trust them," she holds your gaze, firm and pleading. "I'm asking you to trust me."

she had never steered you so wrong before. on shaky legs, you push yourself up off the dusty floor. brushing yourself off; little did it help. your heart races with your decision as 5 people - mostly strangers- surround you. you weren't a supe. you had no means to protect yourself here. they don't seem like they're gonna kill you as you turn around to find Hughie amongst them. he was covered in blood too. your girlfriend's blood. it was almost strange how fitting it was. That pit that once formed was now a silent rage as you stared at him. the man who Victoria trusted enough to come here. the man who promised her protection. the man who leads her to her death. he just stares back. a look of sympathy perhaps- no, pity. you take a deep breath and turn away in search of the other person you arrived with. zoe lies unconscious off to one side. at least you hope she's just unconscious. or maybe you didn't? what was a worse experience for her? you slowly make your way over to her. nobody stops you. nobody makes a move. you know you can't carry her so you just sit down beside her. a gentle hand on her side. you don't want her to be alone when she finds out her mother is dead.

[yellowcry]

Bruno, my dear (don't ever dissapear)

She had lost all the hope of seeing him years ago

@encantober-official prompt - Return

She had lost all hope of seeing her brother years ago. It wasn't something she discussed much, but after a couple of years... Well, if Bruno was out of Encanto he could very much be already dead. This thought filled Pepa with dread. Bursting hail that destroyed every crop under the weight of rock solid ice.

Just one thought of Bruno was enough for her to start spiraling, rising the wind until it became a crazy hurricane. Ripping out the trees with the roots, much to Isabela's dismay. She hever was good with getting her weather under control. Especially now. Bruno could've been annoying. His jokes felt like straight up mockery half of the time. And he was distant for years before his physical departure. But Bruno was her brother. And with everything, Pepa cared about him deeply. So what was she supposed to feel when Bruno wasn't here? Hearing that name was like salting an open would. Only worsening the pain.

Days, months and years. Pepa had a third child now. Baby boy. And, no matter what she thought, the idea of naming him after her missing brother wasn't something Pepa had planned. But it took one one look at baby boy's face. And now Pepa had claimed him as Antonío. Nobody dared to say anything about it.

So, when between the shattered ruins of home appeared quiet steps, what followed Mamá, Pepa was sure it was a dream. The idea of Bruno returning was so surreal. After years Pepa had lost all the hope of ever seeing her brother again. But here he was. And if it wasn't for the fact that that gifts had disappeared, Pepa wasn't sure if Encanto would be able to withstand this emotional weather.

"Where have you been?!" She yelled and hugged him, lifting him into the air. Her body trembled. As Bruno, so spiny (he didn't eat enough - Pepa realizes with horror) leans against her, gasping in surprise. When Julieta just comes to them just a second later. Joining into squeezing Bruno. Salty dry water burns Pepa's eyes as she pushes Bruno closer to herself. Not willing to be a twin instead of triplet ever again

Ten years later, he was home. Her brother was back. And Pepa didn't want to let go of him ever again. The loss of their magic fell somewhere at the back of her mind. Between her gift and Bruno, she would choose him any time of day. She doesn't actually care where Bruno was all this time, how he so suddenly came back. Maybe it was a vision, maybe a simple coincidence. But Pepa far more cares about the fact that he did return. After all the nights without sleep. When she felt like bad weather could just merge Encanto with the ground. Years of silent questions without answers. Crying at the night, wondering what Pepa could've done to prevent it. But in the end, it didn't matter for her. Because now Bruno was home. And Pepa would never let him go ever again.

Later she would want to murder him while crying into his shoulder. Walls, really? This brat came to hiding into walls of their own house. Saw how hard it was for everyone to deal with such a sudden loos. How Pepa was destroying everything in her grief. But at the moment it didn't matter. Such a cruel irony they lost Casita, there's again only three of them. It seemed that cuatrillizos were bound to never reunite. (Yes, Casita wasn't actually their sibling but they claimed it as one years ago). But at the day? Pepa would choose Bruno in any time. It wasn't good. The pain still was hard. But, maybe they could heal the ache. Move forward and, as Mirabel said, rise their family from these ruins.

[forcedhesitation]

I definitely do not have the time for a full essay's worth of commentary on the Casting of Frank Stone, but I definitely could give you that if I did. There is...a lot to take apart there. I am certainly...fascinated...by some of the writing & gameplay choices they made, to summarise my thoughts somewhat vaguely.

A few spoilery comments under the cut.

Like I said, I don't really have the time to offer extensive analysis (a full paper) of the game, but I do want to say a few things.

First and foremost: Do not purchase this game. In the words of Mr. Otzdarva himself: Go and watch someone play it instead. Your play through will be 95% the same as theirs. It is not worth your 50 dollars. If you still want it after you've viewed someone else's playthrough, that is your own right.

I honestly became annoyed with the writing much faster than Mr. Otzdarva did, and at first I thought it was because I was spoiled by BG3's infinitely better writing. But no, it's rather that he was being very patient. He finished with a rather negative opinion of the game, after thoroughly going through it to test just how much control you as the player really have.

I will be fair-- It is certainly a visually stunning game, as far as Supermassive titles go. Much better looking than The Devil in Me. The music is also incredible. And some of the voice acting was well done and added much needed life to otherwise bland characters.

But good grief is the writing utterly nonsensical!! Even if you respect the "a multiverse exists, so anything is possible" fact which is canon to Dead by Daylight itself, it still doesn't make any damned sense. I mean, is it ever explained why there is time travel involved? Or how it is even possible? Did they simply expect people to just assume that Augustine figured out time travel in a certain timeline? Does it have something to do with the Entity, since it can clearly traverse time? If so, why was Sam able to voluntarily time travel to Madi & elder Linda's timeline? Why and how the FUCK is Frank Stone first bound to the mill and then camera using what is clearly the same magic as the horologium, when we know the Entity has not yet been brought to that timeline??

And playing the "anything is possible" card would be fine to explain certain things, I will concede, but it really starts to feel meaningless when you realise just how many massive plot elements are never explained and that none of your choices really have any impact on the ending of the game. The story literally ends the same no matter what you do. And to be fair, I do not think it is a bad ending at all. Barring the corny "trial starting" sound that they jammed in at the last second, I thought the ending was one of the better parts of the game. It works great to make you feel hopeless, and like there is truly no escape from the Entity. I just feel that this format of a "your choices impact the outcome of the story" game was the incorrect format for the story they wanted to tell. Because it truly doesn't even matter if you get everyone killed, or you save everyone-- everything happens the same way and the world's fate is the same.

There are other things that bothered me, too. I thought having Frank Stone appear as this corny, glitchy spectral monster for most of the game was...a terrible choice, both design wise and writing wise. Now, I do not think killing him in the opening was necessarily a bad decision. I honestly thought it was a bold choice that functioned well to surprise the viewer and urge them to continue, so they might discover how the story plays out after the death of the titular character. But keeping him as this ghoulish creature, that honestly looked as though it were from some solo indie developer's first low budget horror game, was awful. He did not feel threatening whatsoever, just wildly out of place in a visual quality sense. I hate the final design much less, it is certainly much more threatening and much, much more gruesome, but it still does not make sense as to why he looks that way. The Entity still had not taken him, why did he appear as this inhuman monster before his entry into the Fog? They should have kept a more humanlike design until the very end of the game, when the Entity arrives. Then, a transformation sequence where the Entity mutates him should have been restricted to the ending where no one from the cast is seen in the Fog, so players at least get something different in that allegedly "unique" ending. After all, if a cast member does get taken, at least you get to see visions of what followed the 1980s storyline.

Also why did Augustine work alone when she is clearly part of the Black Vale? The excuse of "the cult didn't exist yet" doesn't work here, because she can time travel and is fully aware of the multiverse she exists in. Like... I thought elder Linda's mention of secret passages being for staff "so they are seen as little as possible" was foreshadowing for Augustine having fellow cultists aiding her, but it just went nowhere. Another thing that goes nowhere is the baby that Sam can save at the very beginning. Should the baby live or die has absolutely no impact whatsoever on the story, which feels like an enormous mistake to me. That baby should have grown up to be a character that the cast could have interacted with to gain...oh I don't know, some piece of important knowledge, or an item, that could then later change the fate of the cast. This way, the player's choices in the 1960s segment actually have an impact on later gameplay, rather than meaning absolutely nothing.

I'd also love to know why the hell elder Sam was sent alone to prevent this situation from occurring, when the Imperatti (I think they were called? The parents of the Pariahs, or something, right?) would have surely realised the gravity of this situation? Like, how does this make any sense? And this is far from the only moment that makes no sense at all.

Why do Jaime and Robert have almost no relevance whatsoever after the 1980s segment concludes? Robert is guaranteed survival of this segment, as that part of the game is written so that two characters always survive-- be that Linda and Robert, or Sam and Robert. As annoying as Stan was, I didn't hate him because he had great dialogue that pushed other characters to have different dialogue than what we were used to. But it felt scummy that Robert was just given this sad, offscreen death instead of being included in a lot more meaningful way.

Not going to lie, it reminded me of how in Stranger Things 4, Patrick was the one teenager whose trauma wasn't really explored or given the same respect as the others. It's like the writers went, "Guys, guys! It's okay! We still have the other Black guy! This makes our game Diverse, and therefore no one could possibly complain!" Meanwhile, we get an entire cutscene about Madi's nightmares, and elder Linda's movie career and associated trauma is talked about numerous times. But all we know about 2024 Robert is that Stan took advantage of him, and then he later died, utterly miserable. Also, Sam somehow knows about this and he and Stan know one another, despite this Sam being from a different timeline than elder Linda, Madi, and Stan himself.

And Jaime, poor sweet Jaime, he really just feels like he's there as someone they can conveniently kill to shock the player. The first chance he has to die results in a horrible, very graphic death (although not the most graphic in the game by a long shot) that I feel many players will encounter because they see it as reasonable to visit the curiosities shop first, and then to later attempt to save Chris (even though her fate is the same here, regardless of what you do). And even if you should keep Jaime alive through that first confrontation with the spectral Frank Stone, it's not as though his survival impacts following events. He can die again, when fleeing Frank with Bonnie and an injured Linda. Why they have Linda, who has a gaping hole in her shoulder, attempt to pull Jaime up the platform alone while HIS OLDER SISTER just WATCHES is beyond me. But writing his death, whether it be here, or earlier, to have no impact on Bonnie's fate, or any future events, is plain bad writing.

You cannot save Bonnie, no matter what you do. And this scene makes no sense. When Frank grabs Bonnie, Linda points the camera at him, which should work. There really isn't any reasonable explanation as to why this should not work, or should not even momentarily distract him (Which could have led to a different ending where Bonnie lives and Linda dies instead?), because in the storm drain, so much as yelling at Frank causes him to abandon whoever he's attacking to seek out the new target. I suppose, at the very least, 1980s Bonnie's death does serve some kind of purpose in the 2024 storyline, because it serves as foreshadowing for Madi's potential fate. But just like Robert, 2024 Bonnie is given a sad offscreen death and we never really learn about how she or Jaime survived that night at the mill.

And I will say, it just feels shitty from a player point of view, to make it so you cannot save certain characters. Like, I'm sorry, is that a canon event? Where is Mr. O'Hara? Because Madi must be a god-damned anomaly, being Bonnie's daughter!! And Chris- god- Chris who mysteriously travels through time...I really do hate this part of the story because understanding its purpose can only happen if you manage to get the secret ending where she goes through the projector screen and DOESN'T burn and die. Which would require you to not have taken the pocket mirror or given the "protective" amulet to her. This unlocks a secret ending where she goes back in time to the moment where she, Jaime, and Linda were inintially shooting in the mill, right before Sam interrupted them. I took this as the writers trying to show us that there would be one timeline in which Frank Stone is never released (not sure how he ever was in the first place, really), likely saving them from the Entity. But other than the player somehow luckily getting this ending, I really don't see the point of Chris' time travel, because she can also be sent immediately back in the horologium, which does nothing meaningful. And why does it have to be Chris? Why not write it so it could be her or Jaime, so that maybe the player's choice to have her and Jaime breakup or not actually has some kind of impact on the gameplay?

One of the worst things about the game though, and I cannot stress this enough, is how badly the references to DBD are integrated. I love a good reference-- it can serve to add a little playful flair to a moment, or even go so far as to have the viewer look at the piece from a different perspective they had not previously considered. Buuuut... this is only if the reference is done well. And, well, what this game does could hardly be described as tolerable, even. In was so heavy-handed, it felt almost as bad as product placement in a Michael Bay movie. Many of these "references" felt out of place to the degree that someone with no knowledge of DBD would be likely able to pick them out, because they heavily disrupt either the game's aesthetic or the gameplay itself! One generator was funny, and honestly expected, but THREE of those damn things? Clunky, corny, and honestly? Lazy.

Unfortunately, I feel those three adjectives describe how I feel about the game overall. I feel bad for the people who put hard work into making it, because there is potential there for something great. But it really felt as though they were pushed to release this game as quickly as possible, so BHVR could sell us a 50 dollar, five-to-six-hour advertisement for their next DLC chapter. Hard to think anything else, really, when completion of the game is followed by a a literal ad for it.

All I can say is-- I really hope we get 2024 Linda as a survivor. It seems more likely that it will be Madi, but it is possible we could have a two-survivor chapter (unless they specifically outlined in the roadmap that there are no upcoming 2-survivor chapters?).

Madi and 2024 Linda would be cool though. We have no older women as survivors, despite having more than one older man. I think it's about damn time. And I love the mother/daughter bond that can sort of develop between Madi and 2024 Linda in the game.

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

I have more for the epic inspired lmk au (which I'm calling A Blood Soaked Goodbye) The basics that I already came up with in other posts is that MK fights a villain, spares them in MK fashion, and one of his friends (it's Sandy) ends up dying because of it. MK recklessly fights the villain in another fight, but is still not trying to kill because he knows Sandy would not want that. Macky ends up dragging MK out of the fight cause he was going to get himself killed, which then leads to Wukong showing up and My Goodbye: a sunburst duo falling out occurs.

Now. New stuff.

After the falling out, MK's mental state is the worst it's ever been. And he keeps going monkey for longer and longer and acting all around cruel and cold and obsessed with destroying this villain. All in all, he's not acting like himself. If anything, he's acting like the ink version of himself from the scroll. And that's because whenever MK is in monkey form at this point, it isn't actually MK. He ends up taking a back seat and watching while this more ruthless monkey version of himself takes over. At first it's purposeful and willing on MK's part. He can't stand failing his friends and he needs Sandy's killer to be brought to justice and himself as he is just isn't enough. But the monkey form is stronger, and could do it. But then Monkey!MK decides to set a trap in the hopes of killing the villain. And it not only doesn't work, but there is collateral damage that includes Macaque and Red Son. (Macky was supposed to get a signal from MK at the first sign things were going wrong, but that signal never came. By the time he realized for himself that he needed to get Red Son out, all it did was cause them both to go down when he tried)

Mei confronts MK as he stands with his back to her, in monkey form. And like Eurylochus during Mutiny, Mei starts demanding that MK tells her she's wrong about her suspicion that MK deliberately let Macaque and Red Son die, and listing past events, past foes, where MK came up with these plans and was detertermined for all of them to make it home. But this time, he didn't stick to that plan. He was supposed to signal Macaque if things started to go sideways, if the villain started heading towards Red Son. He had ample time to signal, to warn them so Macaque could get them out, hell even a late warning would have been enough time, but he never warned them. "You just let them die! Say something!"

And finally, finally, Monkey!MK turns around to face Mei (and Pigsy and Tang who are huddled close together behind Mei) with crazed smile and with a mianical laugh tells her "I can't!"

Mei takes a half step back, staring in horror and disgust at MK this thing wearing her best friend's face. Her expression hardens as she draws her sword and points it at the monkey. "You're not MK." And she attacks.

I am imagining it in my head so clearly of MK, the real MK, in that line style that LBD would cause, watching in horror as his monkey form is relentlessly attacking Mei. Shes putting up a good fight, but Mei has to fight hard to be on equal footing with MK when they do friendly sparing, and this? This is not friendly. Mei might not be holding back, but neither is the monkey. And MK is frantically trying to get control back but he *cant* he's not strong enough. He opened the door with his grief and anger over losing Sandy and his falling out with Wukong and let that dark side of him take over, thinking it would enable him to destroy the villain. But all it has resulted in is more and more loss and heartbreak, and MK can not shut the door. Not on his own.

The fight is continuing and Mei is not doing so well. At this rate, he's going to kill her. Tang is watching all this and he knows he has to do something. And so when Monkey!MK knocks Mei down and is about to crush her skull with the monkey king staff, Tang acts, purely on instinct and fear.

MK gets skewered from behind by Tang and his magical staff. When this happens, his monkey form disappears and it's just *MK* again. And he turns to look behind him, at Tang who has taken a step back and is clutching a crying and horrified looking Pigsy's hand, and croaks out "Dads? Please..." (It's not "why" for this because MK KNOWS why) And Pigsy drops Tangs hand and rushes over to his boy, his son. (Perhaps Tang tries to grab for him and stop him out of fear, and Pigsy shakes him off with a "He's MK! That's my son," and goes for him anyway.) And MK is impailed by a stick that by all rights should not have been able to impail him, especially one weilded by Tang, but we'll pass that off as mystic stuff. MK is hurt and crying and HORRIFIED at what he'd done and almost done, and he's in control again and desperately doesn't want to lose that. He is able to convince Tang and Mei (who had gone over to stand at Tangs side and is leaning against him, injured but alive thanks to his actions) that he is their MK and that he had essentially been possessed by this monkey version and that is what got Macky and Red Son killed, as well as what just tried to kill Mei. Pigsy needs no convincing. Pigsy pulls MK into a hug as MK sobs and promises him "It's gonna be alright, son. We're going to figure this out, get you help. I love you, you understand? It's gonna be alright."

While Pigsy is keeping up this litany of love and reassurances, Tang carefully approaches MK and warns him that he's going to pull out his staff, since MK won't be able to heal from the injury with it still in there. And MK tearfully nods, still holding onto Pigsy, and Pigsy rearranges himself so he's a comfort to MK while out of Tang's way so he can pull it out.

After Tang removes his staff from MK, there's this thing like the quick thought that Athena does? Where MK is faced with Evil Monkey!MK.

"Choose."

MK stares at Monkey!MK, frightened and confused. "Choose?"

"Someone's gotta die today and you have got the final say. You? Or your family?"

MK's answer is immediate, lunging forward to grip the grinning monkey's forearms. "Me! I die! They live! My family lives."

And Evil Monkey!MK smiles, wide and sharp with far too many teeth. "Wrong answer," he whispers in MK's ear.

Back in real time, MK loses control to the monkey. Mei and Tang notice and both step back, alarmed, Mei tensing for another fight, but Pigsy hasn't noticed. He does notice that MK has gone rigid and he assumes it's from the pain of the staff being removed. "It's alright, MK. I'm here, I've got you, son."

Evil Monkey!MK slowly grins, making eye contact with Tang and Mei as he pulls one hand back behind him. Both of them, eyes wide, realize what is about to happen, yelling Pigsy's name. Mei lunges forward, her sword aimed at the monkey, and Tang raises his staff to cast a protective barrier around Pigsy. But they're not fast enough.

Monkey!MK's hand shoots out and he plunges his hand straight through Pigsy's chest. "Thanks, Dad."

Pigsy lets out a wet breathless wheeze of pain as the monkey wrenches his now blood covered hand back out, leaving Pigsy to collapse on the ground.

Mei processes what has just happened and loses it, striking at the monkey with an enraged scream. Tang rushed to Pigsy and holds his husband as he chokes on his blood and dies, his last words a gurgling "M...K."

MK is screaming inside his head, helpless to stop it as his body, his hands, murder his family. The monkey tears Mei apart and strikes Tang down when he shakily rises to his feet to try to protect the only family he has left. The monkey is bathing in the blood and entrails of MK's family, killing the last people in this world that he had left. If he was capable of coherent and reflective thought, he would realize that the villain that sent him on this dark path may have killed Sandy, but it was MK that killed the rest of them. They were, all of them, blood on his hands.

~~

This all started out as a Sunburst Duo falling out over My Goodbye. And it ends in a similar way. Wukong learns of the trail of carnage being left in the wake of a vicious monkey, and his first thought is a resigned "Macaque must have gone dark side again, damnit! I shouldn't have trusted him." And then he learns of Macaque's death, that he died trying to save Red Son, and no. It's not Macaque on a rampage. Wukong is in denial, even as this horrible pit of dread settles in his stomach. And with each discovery he makes, each body he uncovers, greater and greater violence behind each kill, Wukong's grief and anger and dread grows.

By the time Wukong comes across MK, it's not really a question anymore of what happened, only why.

Wukong goes about getting this information very subtlely. "Hey, Bud. Long time no see. Where's all your friends?"

Monkey!MK laughs, his tail swaying behind him. "I'm pretty sure you already know the answer to that one, Bud."

"MK. Where are your friends." Wukong repeats, his tone flat.

"They're all dead. They got in my way." He says with a little shrug. Wukong's heart sinks to his toes.

"What have you done?"

"I thought you would be proud," Monkey!MK says, a permanent smirk on his face.

"Proud? You murdered your friends, MK!" Wukong's face went through a complex myriad of emotions before adding, quieter, "you murdered our friends."

The monkey tilts his head at Wukong, smirk still in place but a small furrow forming at his brow. "You were the one that told me I had gone soft. I'm not, anymore. After you talked to me, after you left, I thought about what you said! And I get it now! I have to be ruthless to those that oppose me! I have to end them before they end me!"

"No. I didn't teach you that."

"What I did was mercy. Killing them before they could kill me."

So many protests in Wukongs mind "that's not mercy!" "They were your friends they would never kill you!" "What happened to you?" And what he eventually says out loud is: "You're not MK."

Monkey!MK throws his head back and laughs, a delighted sound that is out of place in the current situation. "That's exactly what Mei said!"

"Before you killed her?" Wukong asks, his voice sharp and dangerous.

"Nah, after." Seeing the look on Wukong's face, Monkey MK laughs, flapping an arm at him dismissively. "I'm joking, jeeze, lighten up!"

"You murdered your friends MK!" Sun Wukong thunders, rage radiating from him.

The smile drops from Monkey!MK's face. "What are you going to do, Monkey King? Kill me?"

Wukong reals back as if he's been struck. "What? No! I'm not going to kill you, MK."

The monkey features fade and it's MK, truly MK, speaking to Wukong. "You should kill me. I'm a monster, Monkey King. I murdered my friends. I-" MK cuts himself off, squeezing his eyes shut. "I deserve to die for what I did to them. Please, Monkey King, I want to die."

To make a long and tragic tale a bit shorter, while MK wants to die, the Monkey doesn't, and while Wukong certainly does not want to kill MK, in the end, he's not really given much of a choice.

Flash forward to some unspecified amount of time later. Wukong is on Flower Fruit Mountain, and he exits his house. He picks some flowers, seven, to be exact. He walks a little ways from his house where there are six grave stones in a row. First is Macaque. Wukong lays a flower at the base of the stone and brushes a gentle hand across Macaque' hand carved name. He lingers for a moment before moving to the next: Sandy. Another flower, another moment of silence. Mei. A flower, a sad pat of the stone. A second flower set next to hers for Red Son. (Red Son is not buried on Flower Fruit Mountain. His parents buried him themselves, and indeed, they end up decimating the villain that started this whole mess, killing them for killing their son.) Next is Tang. A flower. Pigsy. A flower.

Then, at the last grave, Wukong falters, as he always does when he reaches the 6th grave. With hands he pretends aren't shaking, he places a flower in front of MK's grave.

MK's words from the start of this whole mess echo in Wukong's head: "You're alone!" Wukong puts a hand on MK's headstone and whispers, "I am now, bud." And he breaks down sobbing because he is alone. He's alone again, and he did the one thing he was trying to avoid with his split from MK. Instead, it only caused MK to lose it and necessitate him having to put the kid down anyway. And there the Monkey King sits, sobbing in front of the grave of the kid so much like him, the kid that made him care again, the kid who gave him a family again. The kid he killed. There he sat, all alone, with only the dead for company.

[intertexts]

anyway nhw dynamic essay i am NOT going to fucking. type out all of this at once. it is 1am. but. yayyyayayay!!

>starting out w/ ashe & virion because i have been having Thoughts on them........... b4 the trickster they are already good friends-- it's a little awkward at first bc oh shit virion is really cool and kind of scary, i dunno if he likes me, i think he and william are a thing and i've been spending a lot of time with william lately. but that doesn't last long, maybe until the first time they're in some minor scuffle and imprint takes a hit for him. & ashe goes ohhh fuck. maybe he doesn't hate me? & then it turns out that virion is-- well, yeah, he is kind of quiet and intimidating (the horrors! the goofiness was closer to the surface before his family. well.) and hard to make laugh, but they're kind of similar. the quietness is frequently masking awkwardness or not knowing what to do or say in some situation, and they're both so clueless as to normal person stuff (wibby and dakota make some reference to public school shit & virion & ashe make 'do you believe this shit?' eye contact over their heads.) & they're both massive nerds. after all of the horrors, everything virion liked playing was covered in The Ooze, and also he was. living with a gun in his hand and sleeping for no more than two hours max at once with his eyes open and Killing People and doing dirty work for a year or so. grew up pretty fucking fast. didn't have much time for jrpgs anymore. anyway i think he eventually sees ashe on their couch playing pokemon or smth on his switch n just gravitates over. sits on the couch back and watches the animal crossing island ashe is running like the fucking navy or whatever. it becomes a thing. ashe gets him really into shin megami tensei (<- this one is just for me i just thing he'd like smt. relevant 2 mac's thoughts on ashe & horror etc!). they're the ones reluctantly tagging along with dakota & wibby's ridiculous shit & talking super quietly with their heads kinda close together. they'd be really good roommates.

after ashe returns from the trickster-- ok getting sidetracked thinking abt this LMAO. but. i think being muse for so long fucks ashe UP. it takes... a long time. the strain of being forced in his breaker form for as long as he was had consequences!! he did not come out of that as abled as he went in! & also the trickster turning his mind into soup for a year or so fucked with his head severely. get lobotomized idiot. and also. well. the everything else. anyway, i think for the first while when he comes back he dissociates a lot. loses significant amounts of time frequently. has derealization issues. has delusions related to the "hey that guy controlled my body for a year and change and before that he stalked me for god knows how long and always knew exactly where i was and i kept running into him" thing. panics frequently and messily. gets migraines. gets bad & debilitating flashbacks. is back to having 10 billion hangups about his powers. anyway anyway anyway virion.. understands, a lot of this. in a way that wibby & dakota don't. not that they haven't seen awful shit and had awful shit done to them!! but virion is the one who watched his entire family slaughtered in front of him. he's the one who's killed people. he knows what it's like to be okay and maybe happy and one day something fucking breaks, and you'll just. never be the same again. never get that back again, never be who u were before. (dakota was like, 7/8 when he triggered. virion was 15/16.) and he understands the grief & the paranoia & the brain static & the losing time & the fear. so virion gets it. ashe knows that virion is very very scary and very very alert and virion took a crowbar or something for him after knowing him for a couple weeks. so if, like, there's anyone to feel safe around... it's him. ashe's fine motor control is not so good for a while and he's terrified of using his telekinesis, so now it's virion playing animal crossing and ashe watching. he has a fucking awful island it's dogshit it's so funny. virion's good to fall asleep on. they hold hands if they have to go out somewhere. etc. shoutout 2 virion sol & all the emos he keeps picking up & wanting to kill people for. gayass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[randomfoggytiger]

Never Again: An Intensive Essay

This post is its own project, as I felt it necessary to approach 'Never Again' with a lens divorced from my Personality Type post (found here-- more in depth and with play-by-play screenshots.)

Without further ado, here we go~

Loss of Control-- the Cause, or the Symptom?

‘Never Again’ is, on its surface, about three people losing control over their lives-- Ed Jerse has lost his family in divorce, Scully has lost herself to the quest, and Mulder is losing Scully as she questions the decisions in her life. But the truth lies one layer deeper-- why DID they lose control of their lives? What was the mechanism? And that is the episode's true, nefarious 'villain': fear.

Fear, the Disrupting Mechanism

Scully contemplates many things this episode: a rose petal left on a grave, Mulder’s nameplate on his desk, endless lines, and her life. She has given her natural loyalty and tireless devotion to a cause that could save real lives and fulfill her by the same token. The true reason for her devotion, however, was not to the cause, but to its seeker: Mulder. Every loss she has suffered, every small victory she gained, and every fear she faced was at his side and with his strength. It is not the journey that is the never-ending line, because she always gets roped back in when Mulder asks her to (this episode, Elegy, The Ghosts That Stole Christmas, Dreamland I and II, etc.) It is her relationship; particularly, that she has chosen Mulder and his quest above all things-- the respect of her peers, a life, her family, even her fertility-- but that he hasn't chosen her the same way.

In The Jersey Devil, Scully stated to her friend Ellen: “He’s a jerk. ...He's not a jerk. He’s obsessed with his work.” Since then, Mulder and she have grown undoubtedly closer-- their reassignment, her abduction, her coma and recovery, Donnie Pfaster, his father’s death, her sister’s death, his mother's stroke, and many other experiences-- and Scully has aided and abetted willingly all his schemes, teasing and flirting each step of the way. In Home, Mulder set himself up as a candidate for her Uberscullies, and even leaned into her inquiry. There was fertile ground for a more nuanced discussion of their relationship after the Peacock horrors unfolded, with a more somber Mulder and vindicated Scully.

But then The Field Where I Died happened. Scully’s unrivaled closeness to Mulder was shaken by his attachment and grief over the loss of his professed ‘soul mate.’ Equilibrium was restored by the time Mulder paid a visit to Russia, Scully was incarcerated for contempt of court, and John Lee Roche was shot in his undeserving head; but the doubt remained. Scully's priority has always been Mulder; but she's afraid he doesn't return that devotion.

Missed Signals 

Scully gazes at the rose petal on the grave because it is a physical marker of the love someone has for the deceased, conquering even death. She takes it with her, simultaneously contemplating it and the nameplate on Mulder’s desk. The realization that there is no marker of her presence in Mulder’s life leads her to question her life, this quest, her loyalty-- but not to realize, quite yet, what the true root of the problem is. That realization is after her skirmish with Jerse.

Mulder is whirring around the office in preparation for his forced vacation; but is pulled up short when Scully asks him why she doesn’t have a desk. He makes a flippant but sincere remark before redirecting her to a case to do in his absence. Scully debunks its importance, unspooling the informant’s story good-naturedly and trying to avoid her brewing emotions... until Mulder uses that ‘assignment’ word again. Scully balks at this, flinging out a remark not dissimilar to her “macho man” accusation in Syzygy.

Offended, Mulder steams that his files mean everything to him, stating: “You were just assigned here.” This affirms Scully's seed of doubt: that she was assigned and appreciated only for her value to the work (it's not until Fight the Future that this is resolved) and not for something more.

“And it’s become mine.” 

Mulder screeches to a halt, his bravado and irritation disintegrating in a puff of smoke-- "You don't want it to be?"-- so suddenly and shakily that Scully tries to soften the blow, too late. Mulder’s face crumples-- physically folding in on himself-- blindsided and fearful of what she'll say next.

Scully tries to explain that she feels like she's lost herself while everyone else has moved on: “...while my own life is… standing still.”  She gives a tight, false huff of laughter (an outward sign of the raging, internal panic) because she doesn't know what's wrong. Scully believes she knows it’s being trapped by “the endless line”; but if that were the case, she wouldn’t stick with it for as long as she has or continue to do during Never Again and the rest of her time with the FBI. The lesson she learns is that the never-ending line isn't the quest: it's her relationship with Mulder.

Mulder is a man driven by his passion for solving the endless puzzles laid out to lead him to and away from the Truth. He is also a man that has a miniscule support system, and no one else on the planet to understand him. Scully in one fell swoop sweeps his feet from under him, causing him to panic and search for the quickest solution he can find. He deduces incorrectly that maybe he’d gotten under her skin too much lately; and excuses himself from the room and her life as quickly as possible. To Scully, this is the final nail in the coffin of what she assumes is her worth in Mulder's life.

Escaping Confusion in the Arms of the Confused

Scully tries to escape from these feelings by pouring herself into the assignment. She believes her struggle is with the work, and doggedly pursues it to try to rediscover her drive for it. This leads her to Ed Jerse; and her interest is peaked when he makes obvious flirtatious overtures and invites her to dinner. She leaves the interaction feeling better without realizing it's because someone expressed interest in her rather than a job well done.

And then Mulder calls. She is genuinely happy he tracked her down; but the interactions spirals when Mulder refocuses his attentiveness to her case. When he expresses surprise and disapproval in how she wrapped it up (accidentally coming across as chastising when he was just confused and needing a reason), Scully becomes offended. Her anguished feeling has returned; but the satisfaction doubles back when Mulder jealously pokes at her having a date. She hangs up, leaving him to stew.

From here on out, Scully is pursuing that satisfying feeling. Her actions are guarded but curious as she is slowly coaxed to Ed's apartment, then to the crummy bar, then to the tattoo parlor, and finally back to Ed's apartment again. With Jerse, she believes she is finding happiness through breaking the "authority" Mulder has on her life; but what she has done is simply replace him with Ed, centering her face on Ed's reactions at each of her revelations and new experiences. Her date, meanwhile, is feeding both of their self-delusions by giving Scully too much overeager attention and sponging off the bit she gives in return.

The tattoo: Scully gets an ouroboros for obvious reasons laid out in the episode. But she gets it placed directly on her lower back where Mulder rudders and steadies her. This was intentional on her part; but it now serves two mortifying purposes: a continual reminder of her big mistake, and a reminder that she didn't know herself at all.

It's not until Ed Jerse self-destructs that Scully can see clearly her actions for the first time, and why she did them, and why they are different than Ed's. Jerse's fear of women-- how his wife destroyed his life, how Betty 'continues' to destroy it-- tore apart his mind long before the tattoo could or did. And Scully realizes the solutions she had sought from him were the things she wanted from Mulder but believed she would never have: a crummy bar with Ed, a tattoo with Ed, a night with Ed. That is why, when the dust has settled and she is back to the office, Scully is at more of a loss than when she started... because, while she could get a life, she wants Mulder to be a part of it (poking at his lack of one since The Jersey Devil; and continuing to hint about the possibilities from Home onward.)

The Basement Redux 

Scully's depressed and teary spirits are quickly shoved aside when Mulder arrives. She refuses to engage; and his rambling gets worse and worse as he realizes the canyon has widened. His attempts at humor-- "You look a lot better than you did in the hospital", "And congratulations for making a personal appearance in the X-Files for the second time”-- fall flat, and his anguish is visible when he turns to deliver "It's a world record." (See this post for play by play.)

He bridges the gap while reading Ed Jerse's medical diagnosis; giving Scully time to march to her chair. But in the middle of his “better late than never, huh?” he abruptly stops when she reaches for the dried-up rose petal. Launching from the chair, Mulder stretches, tenses, rolls his head, and hunches up his shoulder in another mad quest through his files for a last-minute distraction. He is finally forced to admit defeat: “All this because… because I didn’t get you a desk?”

Scully is shocked he actually asked; and her face softens at his vulnerable voice and confused, hurt expression. She explains in Mulder-speak: “Not everything is about you, Mulder. This is my life.” 

The great misunderstanding of Scully: she is NOT drawing a circle around herself, enforcing boundaries that Mulder can never cross, cutting him out and keeping him from ruining her perfect, private world. What she wants, what she needs, is for him to acknowledge that her loyalty and steadfastness and courage and faithfulness is reciprocated-- beyond the quest, beyond the Truth. That "that unspoken" she feels is felt by him, too.

She gets her acknowledgment; but there is no comfort in it.

Mulder’s unspoken “Yes, but it’s become mine” dies on his lips as Scully’s meaning dawns on him. 

Mulder freezes as he realizes two things at once: Firstly, that Scully wants them to stop circling the drain of their relationship. What she had been seeking in Jerse wasn't a rejection of him-- it was him. But secondly-- he realizes that he can’t take that next step. He at least tries to repeat his confession-- sucking air in, moving his lips-- but can't get the words out.

Scully cocks her head, queuing him to continue, wanting him to continue. But when Mulder's second attempt fails, and his mouth permanently closes, Scully, also, realizes two things: Mulder understands her message; and reciprocates but can't return it. At least not yet. Her gaze falls once again, her hopes crushed. For all that she has "gained", Scully is still on that endless line, looping around and around in perpetuity.

Summing This Disaster Up

Scully is daily motivated by the journey. Her sense of worth to the world is why she left medicine for the FBI; and every day she makes a fulfilling difference. The never-ending line that she is trapped in befuddles her at first, wondering if she's lost herself and her motivations because of a discontent she is deeply feeling. When Mulder walks out on her, Scully misreads his intentions as abandoning her to his bidding; and resentment begins to build. Work was what fulfilled her before, so she tries to do it again; and, by solving the case Mulder "assigned" her, she runs into Jerse and his crumbling issues. Ed's problems seem to mirror hers, and she is interested and hopeful enough to try his solutions. They fall apart; Ed falls apart; and Scully's thoughts of herself and her motivations fall apart with them. She realizes what she truly needed was Mulder, and that Mulder cannot give her what she wants.

Is Leonard Betts or Memento Mori Next? 

Setting aside Morgan, Wong, and Gillian's insistence that Never Again took place before Leonard Betts and is unattached to the cancer arc, let's analyze Scully's actions to deduce a timeline.

It is appealing to place Never Again after Leonard Betts because of Scully's contemplative, dour mood after taking the flower from the gravestone. However: if Never Again were simply a joy ride to express that she'd thrown caution to the wind to LIVE, then it would prove she'd already given up. Then the message Memento Mori would have been useless; because that is when she grapples with her mortality and hopelessness and rises above it; but not before denying there's a problem and refusing to admit she's dying FIRST. Scully cannot both recklessly give up in one episode and be horrified that she is slowly dying the next. (Not to mention her real, fearful concern over the ergot poisoning she and Ed could be suffering from.)

Finally, if this episode were about Scully's reckless abandon because of her cancer (and not about her own fears and priorities), then she wouldn't have needed to be coaxed by Ed each step of the way-- her motel, his apartment, the crummy bar, the tattoo parlor, and back to his apartment. She would have simply given up and jumped on each new opportunity handed her way.

But does it make sense to place it before Leonard Betts?

Yes-- it's the perfect case to pull Scully from her doldrums. Most of Leonard Betts is brimming with medical jargon and theories; and Mulder relies heavily on her expertise to jump from one conclusion to the next while teasing her lightheartedly and taking the time to listen, proving her value. Not only that, but he's just as flummoxed through most of the episode, which gives her ample time to show off here and there. Scully feels valuable again-- which makes the ending even more tragic. She knows Mulder loves her but can't reciprocate, laying to rest the fear of The Field Where I Died; but now she is afraid of terminal cancer in lieu of her MUFON sisters. Knowing Mulder relies on her in ways that no one else can fill and would have that support ripped away (and her own life with it) is a gut punch of epic proportions.

Thanks for reading!

Enjoy!

[aho-dapa]

hiraeth

part 36 of me explaining my fics rather than writing them

So, this is different from my rewrite lore, just a tamlin week fic I haven't written yet

TW: horror elements, gore mention, canon typical violence??, cannibalism because fae eat humans

Set UTM and Feyre goes after Tamlin like canon except it doesn't follow canon at all

Basically mashes ACOTAR and ACOMAF together

Feyre does her typical 'I love Tamlin, give him back to me' and Amarantha says 'sure, but kill these three fae first'

Sad, because Tamlin knows whats up but can't say anything because he's bound by Amarantha magically after the curse cemented itself

The fae are covered head to toe in black and mourning veils and cannot speak or move (which is formal wear in fae sacrifices)

Feyre kills them with an ashwood dagger and Amarantha basically orders Tamlin to go stand near Feyre because she 'gave' him to her (AKA Amarantha actually having the trickster traits of the fae and doesn't just make moves that could lead to her downfall plus explains the literal language of bargains)

Amarantha then reveals that the three hooded figures are actually Nesta, Elain, and Papa Archeron because Amarantha already had spies in the Spring Court (so she discovers that Tamlin and Rhysand were actually working together to stop her when Rhysand told her that Feyre was actually Clare Beddor)

AKA Tamlin and Rhysand have always been friends and were playing the long con ever since Amarantha came to Prythian because Tamlin warned Rhys about her

AKA Tamlin never betrayed Rhys, Tamlin's father killed Rhys's sister because she was Tamlin's mate (plus political shenanigans where Tamlin was already betrothed to Amarantha) and Tamlin actually orchestrated the death of his family as revenge (in this timeline, Tamlin's mother died young and he had bonded with Rhysand's mother as well)

Tamlin holds and comforts Feyre because that's all he can do at the moment

Amarantha then declares this her coronation and ascension ceremony with three humans as sacrifice and declares herself the Dark Mother

Amarantha then reveals the Cauldron and resurrects Nesta, Elain, and Papa Archeron using this moment to solidfy herself as someone who can control life and death

She then also resurrects both Jurian and her sister Clythia using more fae sacrifices because they don't have whole bodies

Because she's not yet done with her performance, she has Tamlin 'sit and stay' like a dog as she orders the Attor to tear Feyre limb from limb as he watches unable to do anything

Amarantha then orders a celebration feast and orders everyone to celebrate their new divinity

She also orders Tamlin to clean Feyre up and feed Feyre to Amarantha as even more punishment for not giving into her

Tamlin goes up to Amarantha and the Cauldron, but instead of giving Feyre to her, he put her remains in the Cauldron and uses himself as a sacrifice to bring her back to life as 'all things that have been Un-Made must once again be Made, and things Made must be Un-Made in the Cauldron'

At this, Feyre comes back to life but not as a human, but as a beast that begins to attack everything in sight and she eventually kills Amarantha, releasing everyone from her curse and rule

At this, Feyre and Clythia fight but everyone else joins in so Clythia runs away with Amarantha's body to Hyburn by winnowing

Thus, this begins a whole new story where Rhys never SAed Feyre and was actually working with the people around him to bring down Amarantha

This also means that Feyre doesn't have the other High Lords' powers but she does have Tamlin's shapeshifting ability because of his sacrifice

Feyre ends up permanently staying as a beast out of trauma, grief, and guilt (and is helped later on by Rhys because he's the only one that can communicate with her via telepathy)

Jurian, Elain, and Papa Archeron remain human but changed by the Cauldron

Nesta had actually brought herself out of Cauldron and did the same as canon and took from the Cauldron so that's why she has the appearance of a fae

So Prythian now has to go against both the King of Hybern and Clythia instead of just the KoH

And so this is where I reveal this is actually a TOG and ACOTAR crossover fic where the Cauldron also acts as a Wyrdgate and Tamlin was actually sent to the world of TOG

Also small TOG rewrite that doesn't follow the canon of TOG / also CCITY doesn't exist in this because I haven't read it yet

Currently planned (crackship) pairings, lemme know what you think:

Tamlin / Gavriel / Maura

Rhys / Cassian / Feyre

Azriel / Fenrys

Gwyn / Nox

Balthazar / Eris

Amren / Nesta / Varian

Mor / Elide

Emerie / Ressina

Elain / Kashin / Yrene

Lucien / Arghun

Nesryn / Sartaq

Tarquin / Papa Archeron

Cresseida / Jurian

Rowan / Aelin

Nehemia / Pelor

Aedion / Chaol / Dorian / Kaltain

Lysandra / Manon

Lorcan / Endymion

canon has no power here

[alleykatart]

Three words: Hot. Himbo. Werewolves. (Werewolves and werecats and witches, oh my!)

World building and character summaries below, along with a bit more art!

From left to right:

Kyle Johnson: Human. He/Him. Gay. Gym twink with a crush. Went home with Rhys and ended up pulled into the world of the supernatural while trying to juggle his college coursework. Architecture major. Happy go lucky, down for an adventure, often bites off more than he can chew.

Rhys Whitethorne II: Werewolf, Born. He/Him. Bisexual. Older cousin of Jason Whitethorne, but mostly content to let his little cousin lead. His father's Jason's father's little brother, meaning Jason "stole" his "birthright" to lead the Whitethorne Pack. Had a nasty habit of stealing or ruining things that were important to Jason when they were kids. Toys, books, friends, and at least one lover. Now he runs a gym on the first floor of an old warehouse Jason is renovating. Still annoyingly competitive with everyone, but especially his cousin... but also trying to get over his own bullshit. Trying.

Mercy Lawless: Witch, Fae Blood. She/Her. Heteroflexible. Orphaned granddaughter of the Witch Queen of New York, Mercy Lawless and Jason Whitethorne were pushed toward each other from a young age, in an attempt to secure peace between the Witches and the Werewolves. They had an on and off teen sweetheart situation, but neither truly felt a romantic spark, and merely continued the pretense of dating as an excuse to hang out as friends. Easily the smartest person in the Pack, fiercely loyal to her friends. Still working her way out from under her grandmother's thumb. College student going into Occult Studies.

Jason Whitethorne: Werewolf, Born. He/Him. Pansexual. Eldest son and heir of real estate tycoon Owain Whitethorne, current Alpha of the Grand Pack of New York. Jason is the wearer of the Fangs of the First Alpha, which enhance his wolf form while also making him a bigger target for other wolves seeking to prove themselves or claim the artifact for themselves. Business major. Sometimes too direct and harsh, Jason holds himself to an impossible standard he'd never dream of holding anyone else to, wanting to prove he's good enough. He and Mercy have become the closest of friends, their bond far closer now than when they tried dating, enough that he's let her channel the Fangs of the First in the past.

Soo Park: Werecat, Turned. He/Him, Tentatively They/Them. Gay. Orphaned in a horrific "wild animal attack" at 17, the only child of Ha-Yun Park and her husband, John. Taken in by his maternal aunt, Soon-Yi and her girlfriend, Carmilla. Knowing it damn well wasn't a wild animal, Jason and Mercy helped the nerdy, awkward Soo through his clumsy first steps into the supernatural world, and the grief and loneliness after his parents died. With their friendship, Soo blossomed, came out of his shell (much to everyone's horror and delight) and learned to control his new abilities... mostly. After almost a year of waiting for Soo to figure out his feelings, Jason finally made the first move... that Soo only wasn't willing to make because he assumed Jason was straight and just "really sweet" to let Soo hang all over him all the time. Art major. Snarky, overly fond of swear words, utterly clueless that his aunt's girlfriend is an ancient vampire. It's not like he's ever smelled one before, after all. Tends to exaggerate confidence he doesn't quite feel.

Kane & Zane Li: Werewolf, Born. He/Him. Pansexual. Human father, werewolf mother, the twins were raised in the Whitethorne pack and are virtually inseparable, considering Jason to be their unofficial brother. What they lack in height and wits, they more make up for with their big... hearts and their desire to help others. Besides, if they need a witty comeback, they can just ask Mercy, who's often seen with one twin on each arm. Kane is secretly a gamer nerd who spends his Thursday nights with Soo and Kyle playing tabletop games, because they don't fight enough monsters in their real lives. Zane keeps his twin's secret, and hangs out with the Whitethorne cousins and Mercy on Thursday nights. Kane harbors an unrequited crush on the hunter, Pixie. And honestly, who can blame him?

Bonus images~

(Soon-Yi and Carmilla, who definitely is not an ancient vampiress with a penchant for beautiful young women with beautiful smiles and soft curves.)

Pixie, a hunter with compassion. She takes down the supernatural beings who cross the line, and does it with style.

[purble-gaymer]

alright @turtleplushi here’s some evil flavored meta knight

so for starters, this au is based on the simple premise of nightmare cursing galaxia before the gsa gets to it. it came to mind sometime back in october (so some style choices are pretty out of date). that was it for a few days, but the reason i mention i'll throw my emotions away is because i started listening to RIProducer about the same time and this song gave me a million more ideas to work with.

it starts pretty much the same as my normal interpretation of early mk and galaxia, being he hates it. he can't stand looking at it, let alone using it, knowing its retrieval resulted in the death of his friend. he drops it on the floor and kicks it under his cot, where it stays for the next month or so. things proceed as normal until he decides to pull it out one day. he picks it up and strangely finds the ruby a lot more enchanting than it used to be.

from that point on, he starts bringing it everywhere. it doesn't talk much at first, slowly building up mk's trust, and eventually during training it drops this:

now, naturally, he doesn't tell anyone about this. everyone thinks he's doing just fine--except jecra, anyway. he can tell something's wrong, and he's starting to think it's not just grief. if he asks mk about anything, the knight's response is a bit more hostile than it used to be. not always, but enough to notice it. surely he's just in the anger stage, right?

a lot of slow corruption and escalation happens in the middle chunk here, and along the way mk's perception and memories start to change. he thinks--no, he's certain the other members of the gsa don't care about him; they never did. they don't care that this war is putting so many people in danger, they don't care to help, they don't care meta knight lost one of his best friends, one of the greatest star warriors they had. what's stopping them from letting him die, from letting jecra die? he can't bear to lose anyone else. after months of spite and rage building up, he abandons his badge and swears to take revenge the gsa.

and, unfortunately, this eventually culminates in him trying to assassinate arthur. it doesn't go as planned. someone was there waiting for him.

after this, he runs and finds jecra, who was already looking for him. aforementioned blood question, meta knight is acting weirdly calm but also weirdly aggressive about this whole thing? jecra draws his sword and breaks the other's mask, and oops! mk has red eyes. super possessed. they have a big fight that ends with jecra disarming mk and shattering the ruby, breaking the curse.

there's some fallout that i never really got around to thinking about very much. dragato's fine, he's not too angry about the being stabbed thing since mk wasn't really in control. arthur's a fair bit more upset, even if his anger is sort of directionless now that the curse is gone and mk's back to normal. meta knight feels awful about the whole thing for a while. galaxia goes back to sitting stationary under his bed where he can't see it.

after a while, they get the ruby replaced, and to meta knight's horror the thing can still talk. it doesn't seem to be evil anymore, but it'll be a while before he's willing to trust it again.

i drew some things related to this, not too much but here's a couple. it was during a time when i was really unhappy with all my finished pieces, so i never posted anything, but i thought they'd be cool to share.

so that's that. i've got an adjacent 'meta knight doesn't escape from nme until way later' au but that one's just for fun cause evil mk is just a fun guy to write/draw (admittedly he is also deeply traumatized but that's a story for another time)

[astermacguffin]

Hey folks welcome to another evil and fucked up fic concept from yours truly:

S13. Okay. Dean is still fucked up with grief, and the combination of fear, anger, and resentment he feels towards Jack is certainly not a good mix. Still, he prefers these latter emotions because at least they're actionable emotions. You can run away or fight that which you fear or resent, but what do you do to the rotting void of grief?

All these negative emotions eventually spiral into some form of paranoia, a constant stream of "What if he turns evil? What if he takes even more from me?" Over and over in his head.

Now. What if. While they're searching the bunker for resources to help them deal with Jack, Dean accidentally stumbles upon something in their storage: a metal crown and a set of spikes. A contraption that Crowley left behind—Naomi's tools.

In fear of Jack turning evil, Dean picks up Naomi's lobotomy contraptions so he can program Jack to "not be evil."

When Dean straps down Jack into the chair, he gives the kid his very first smile. "Don't worry, kid. I'll make sure you'll never lose your path."

When Cas is finally resurrected again, everything's fine and cool and happy. And then Jack goes "Oh yeah I have weekly tuning sessions with Dean." And Cas asks. What "tuning sessions." And he watches in horror as Jack puts on the crown that Naomi uses for the lobotomies.

Cas confronts Dean about this. They fight. Cas was about to leave with Jack. Dean panics; he orders Jack to hold Cas down and prevent him from escaping.

With Jack's help, Dean tearfully straps Cas down to the chair and puts the crown on him. "I'm sorry, Cas. But I can't lose you again."

Everything is fine and cool and normal. If Sam notices some odd behavior here and there, he tries not to think too hard about it. Besides, this is the first time that they had been this happy and peaceful for a length of time, why ruin it?

Eventually, however, Sam can't ignore things any longer. His suspicions eventually lead him into finding out what Dean's been doing this entire time.

Sam confronts Dean about it. They fight. When Sam was about to take Jack and Cas away from there, Dean utters a trigger word and makes Sam fall under his control.

It turns out that this isn't the first time that Sam found out what's happening, and that Dean has been repeatedly rewriting his memories this entire time.

At first, Dean just asked Jack to erase Sam's memories. This plan doesn't work long term because Sam either just rediscovers what happens or regains his memories. Dean then ordered Jack to gradually and discreetly feed Sam some grace and transform him into as close as an angel as possible so that the Naomi's tools would work on him as well.

This bit is from jay @casnation , thanks for this: Sam repeatedly wakes up and tries to get Cas and Jack out of there but they’re programmed to take him to Dean if he does this. Like, he could totally escape if he didn’t try to save them every time.

There will be a point where the brainwashing gets so severe that they basically lose their personalities in a way that even Dean cannot ignore anymore. And so he "reprograms their personalities back" based on Dean's perceptions of them.

Crucially there will also be a point where Dean realizes just how bad he's fucked up (ideally in conjunction with the realization that he's living with three husks with zero personality), but he's trapped himself into a corner. Because he KNOWS that the moment he undoes the programming, they would all run the fuck away from that bunker and leave him alone. And he would rather reprogram them ad infinitum rather than face the consequences of what he did.

Another incredible quote from jay: "Pygmalion carving himself not just a lover but a family."

More stuff below the cut (specifically how Mary reacts to All of This when she returns from the Apocalypse World):

Dean does NOT have the guts to lobotomize his own mother. He can stomach doing it to Sam and Cas because he's already pretty good at ignoring their autonomy. Which means that Dean has to employ more subtle methods of hiding things from Mary.

He can order Cas to reaasure Mary that "everything is fine." He can also order Jack to distract Mary by bonding with her.

Here's another bit courtesy of jay: "Mary notices something is up with Sam first and Dean just says “How would you know? I’ve know him his whole life, he’s fine, you’ve only been back a year!"

Another jay bit: "no thoughts just mary looking up and realizing the bunker is a clockwork recreation of her fantasy of married life with john with cas as her role. and she has no idea what to do"

I have no idea how to end this. We can go with the more horrific route where Mary never discovers what's truly going on and so they're all just trapped there, Pygmalion and the family he carved.

The other option is that Mary finds out. This has two potential outcomes: (1) Mary convinces Dean to undo the programming. They all run the fuck out of there and leave Dean alone to face what he did. Or, (2) In a desperate attempt to keep his family together, Dean orders Jack and Cas to hold Mary down and make her forget what she discovered. The story ends with Dean, tears in his eyes, putting metal spikes in his mother's skull.

(Also. I want y'all to know that there are more fucked up parts to this but those shall remain in the dark corners of our discord chats lol)

[astro-rain]

delicate; b.barnes

chapter seven - “the king is dead”

delicate masterlist

word count: 1.7k

synopsis: shuri has awful news. the reader is terrified but bucky is strangely calm. the world is turned upside down, and not in a good way.

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

[A/N]: this was so fun to write omg get ready it’s finally getting interesting!!! (as always, OC on my wattpad @ / typicaldaze)

Months had gone by since that day at the lake. Countless therapy sessions had been endured, several hard questions asked, many many issues worked through. Bucky suffered through a few more anxiety attacks along the way, but they never hindered his resolve, thanks to (Y/N). They had made progress, good, solid progress. Bucky was pleased; (Y/N) was thrilled. It's hard to see change when you're the one going through it. However, to the person guiding that change, every step forward is recognized. She was proud. She was genuinely proud of him. He wasn’t “fixed,” he still had struggles, but he was a lot better off then before.

There was something peculiar, though. Their relationship was strictly professional, (Y/N) knew that. However, she couldn't help but feel as though along the sidelines of their progress, they had grown to become friends. She knew that, clinically, this was not appropriate, but there were no corporate guidelines she was working under. She was helping him. So, what would it matter if after all this was over, they were friends? What would it matter if his therapist also operated as his friend? Hell, she didn't even have an official therapist position here! Sharon just sent her to help. (Y/N) had decided she didn't care about the boundaries being crossed. Nothing ever went wrong with someone gaining a friend. It's fine.

Regardless, the two of them had thoroughly addressed the anxiety and the PTSD, and he now officially had both diagnoses. He understood himself and his brain so much better, and with (Y/N)'s help, he not only acknowledged his disorders, but accepted them. She taught him to not see them as the enemy, not something that was wrong with him. They were just a part of him, same as his brown hair or blue eyes.

Bucky was so much more open now. He was less on edge and more comfortable, especially around her. In all honesty, he was usually his most comfortable with her. He had coping skills and everything!

This was all grand and good, but (Y/N) hoped with everything in her that it wouldn't be ruined by the present disaster.

-

"I thought he was automatically supposed to be king?" (Y/N) asked, confused.

She was at her weekly meeting with Shuri for Bucky's treatment plan, and the young genius had just told her she couldn't make it next week due to T'Challa's coronation.

"He is," Shuri started, "but it's Wakandan tradition to open the position up to a dual. So, his rule isn't set in stone."

"Oh... What if someone... challenges him?"

"Then they will fight! However, I have no worries. T'Challa is a great warrior, and though I doubt anyone would challenge him, he would win if they did."

(Y/N) admired the faith Shuri had in her brother. She could tell their bond was strong.

"Couldn't you technically challenge him?"

Shuri revealed a kind of devilish smirk that only a sibling can muster. "Oh, I have thought about it. But I am much more useful in my lab, and T'Challa wouldn't know what to do with himself if he wasn't in charge."

(Y/N) looked back on the memory anxiously as she stared in horror at the look on Shuri's face. A wicked mix of fear, grief, and stress drained all the color from the princess' normally dark, beautiful skin. Shuri had always radiated confidence and composure; seeing this change worried (Y/N) deeply.

"The King is dead."

Her face became void of any expression and all she could process was fear. She thought she gasped but she couldn't remember breathing out again. Her brain was frozen. (Y/N) was in a foreign country that just lost its monarch. She was alone, and all the people she was relying on to protect her just had their kingdom invaded and taken over by someone with the word kill as part of their nickname. She was almost certain that this would be her end.

"Dr. (Y/L/N)?" Shuri said unsteadily. "Did you hear me?"

"Y-Yes I... What are we going to do?" her voice was weak and small. Pathetic and afraid.

Then, thoughts of Bucky crossed her mind. What would happen to him? He could fight, she supposed, but he doesn't have any weapons or gear and he'd be against an entire regime. What if they killed him? What if they tortured him? Different scenarios quickly flashed through her brain, but she could only one concrete thought.

I have to find him.

"My family and I have a plan, but we can't take you with us."

Any remaining semblance of hope dissipated from (Y/N)'s body, and she swore she could feel her veins quiver with apprehension.

"What?"

Her voice felt far away.

"It is not ideal, and I'd never leave you unless I had to. But Agent Everett Ross is here. It's a long story, but as you know, he can't find out about Sergeant Barnes. He can't know that either of you are here. If we take you with us, it could compromise everything we've been working for," the nervous princess explained.

"So... what of me and Bucky?"

"Again, it's a long story, but there's a... sort of fallout shelter - I guess you could call it - that was built years and years ago when the first tribes of Wakanda were constantly at war with one another. I will give you supplies and directions, and you two must go there and remain hidden until this is all over."

Fantastic. (Y/N) would get to play Cold War nuclear fallout in Wakanda.

"How will we know?"

Shuri gave her a somber look. A look of uncertainty and immense guilt.

"I wish I could apologize enough, my partner, but I do not know. I promise I will try to contact you as soon as I get any information, but for now we must hurry. We do not have much time."

With that, Shuri took (Y/N)'s arm and quickly led her her outside. It was late afternoon and the air was beginning to cool. They ran, locked together, until they met the Queen under a large tree among the outskirts of a nearby forest. The woman looked just as shaken up as Shuri.

(Y/N) could see bags of different shapes and sizes at the base of the tree. She could only hope whatever was in there was sufficient for survival.

Shuri immediately embraced her mother, but the moment was short lived as she then bent down to gather the bags.

The Queen placed her hands gently on the sides of the psychologist’s face. "I am so sorry, child. This does not involve you in the slightest yet you are swept up in the middle of it."

Shuri handed her mother the bags and they both geared (Y/N) up with all her supplies. It was heavy. Really heavy. She realized she was carrying supplies for two. Then, there was panic.

"What about Bucky?"

"Barnes doesn't know about any of this yet. I thought it best he heard it from you," Shuri expained, "and we cannot afford anymore delays. Us or you. You must go now, tell Barnes what is happening and go. I wish I could be more help, but we simply don't have the time."

(Y/N) nodded, trying to process all the chaos. She was internalizing every bit of it. As a result, she was once again, frozen.

"Dr. (Y/L/N)!" Shrui exclaimed.

Her head shot up, snapped out of it.

"Go! You must go!"

And with that, (Y/N) took off. She had been in Wakanda long enough to know her way around the castle's surrounding land. Her speed didn't last very long as she was carrying for two, but she tried all she could to keep going as quickly as possible.

Eventually she found herself outside of Bucky's living quarters. She didn't know what to do, so she knocked.

An array of different emotions went through Bucky's face. At first he looked pleased, but then he saw the horror etched into (Y/N)'s features, and the bags she was carrying. He could tell something was wrong.

"What happened?" he asked, surprisingly calm, while immediately taking some of the bags from (Y/N). He still only had one arm but that really didn't seem to matter to him.

She was out of breath, face flushed and eyes wide.

"The King is dead," she said breathlessly. "Someone... someone killed him a-and took over."

Bucky didn't look as scared as (Y/N) felt. In fact, he looked... totally fine?  She was so out of it she wanted to curl up in a hole and allow natural death. How was the anxious man she was accustomed to so at ease? The world was flipped upside down and (Y/N) had no control. She wished there was a word stronger than fear because she couldn't even describe what she was feeling.

"Okay," Bucky said, gently taking another bag, leaving her with only one to carry, "What did Shuri say? What do we have to do?"

She shook her head, trying to regain her breath and her composure. "There's um - there's a fallout shelter thing we have to go to. Here."

She handed  him a crumpled up piece of paper that Shuri gave her. A map with directions. (Y/N) knew he would've been better at locating it than she could at that moment.

"Alright," more of the calm voice filled her ears. "Anything else?"

"There are more details, but - we don't have time," she sighed, restlessly. Her voice began to shake ever so slightly. "Bucky, I'm so sorry. We have to go now. I promise I'll tell you everything."

"Okay," he said again. He bent down slightly, looking her directly in the eyes. " (Y/N), we're fine, okay? We're good, and we're gonna be fine. I will get us there. Are you ready?"

She nodded, steeling herself.

Bucky looked at the map, then glanced up in the direction of the shelter. He took (Y/N)’s forearm firmly. She gave him a look, confirming she was ready. And off they went.

[theleslistuff]

Ectober 21,22 Host/Theft

Warnings; OCs, aus, mentions of self harming, suicide, slight body horror, violence/blood, SCP foundation, twin au (my brother is a ghost by Darkfoxkit), trepidation au by ghostbadger

It was my last job for today, the foundation told me it was a keter class anomaly, usually I would not accept something this dangerous as my last case of the day but the place...

The place was Amity Park, my home town, I haven't been here since I decided to join the SCP foundation, the gave amnesics to my family and for everyone here... I don't exist.

I'm agent Shade, of course that's not my real name, but this helps to cover my identity if this journal gets stolen.

Anyways...

As I was saying, I was heading towards the source of the anomaly, finding... It was just at my old house, I knocked the door.

A red haired girl came out, she smiles although she looks exhausted.

-Can I help you? -

I was quite nervous, she doesn't remember and she won't recognize me because I have a hoodie over my head making my head barely visible but I think she was my big sister, with the most professional tone I could make up, I presented as a local authority, I choose the Guys in white so I had all the documents to prove it even to that organization, she called her parents.

Both had a look of grief and guilt in their eyes, they have casual clothes instead of the bright hazard suits they used to wear ever since I had memory, I told them the same things as my sister and that I came here because of spectral activity, their expression changed from sad to nervous in less than a second.

-There's nothing here! -

The woman exclaimed, her husband followed suit as he almost yells.

-Ghost are not real!, report a false positive!-

When people act like this... The foundation gives me no other option, I pulled out a little gas bomb making them fall asleep, once the gas was gone I got inside and closed the door behind me.

I know maybe this was kinda rude from me but a keter class anomaly can't wait and I need to have it reported or contained in an hour.

I moved around the house with an ectoplasm gun the foundation said I would need, I thought the anomaly would be the ghost portal they were making, my surprise was big when I found it dismantled, although when I pulled out a ectoplasm counter it still shows high levels of this substance, it really worked once..., but if this is not the anomaly, what is it?!.

The only places I didn't register were the bedrooms, I got upstairs, checked on every room until a high spike of ectoplasm energy was shown up in my... Twin brother's room.

I had to kick down the door since no one was answering at the knocks finding a teenager with almost no clothes cutting himself over an old wound in his arm with a razor bleeding green and red, he looked at me with horror.

-Get out...-

He said in a monotone tone, I got closer, I just acted in auto pilot, my mind couldn't register this broken wrench as my twin brother, I could only think of it as an SCP... My brother would never think of doing what I'm seeing in this poor and miserable creature with human and ghost blood, he flinched.

-get out!, who are you?! -

He's getting near to a panic attack..., I pulled out from my pocket a drug but before I could use it... The boy started to laugh in a very loud tone as he grabs his head with a pained expression in his eyes. Before my eyes his skin was peeling off letting see a ghost with an ear to ear smile, it has a hazard suit in black and white, white hair and pearl white skin with pure green eyes, this ghost looks like if it's melting... upside...

I pulled out the gun, it's now laughing at me as it let out his fist words, the foundation told me they could only make up some of his words between raw static but I could hear it perfectly with just an echo added to his voice.

-gets lonely without me bro? -

-How did you...?! -

For a second I lost control, it was impossible a human could remember after class D amnesics..., but maybe it was just reading my mind... I kept aiming.

-what do you want with my brothers body?! -

It laughs..., the sound made the TV in the room to turn on and show static, the same thing happened to my cellphone and a cellphone in the bed.

-I'm your brother, you abandoned me!-

I reminded silent, still seeing this thing as an anomaly, I can't see this thing as my brother, It looks angry even with that awful grin, but it didn't attack me after that, it reminded silent like waiting for me to keep asking things or to say something for this thing, I looks like can interview this thing.

-where did you came from?... -

I asked, it just laughs while it grabs it's whispy hair.

-I'm still him!!! -

He yells..., it looks like I can't interview it at all and it keeps trying to put my guard down..., at least I know it's sentient...

-look, we can do this the easy way or the hard way, there are far more dangerous things than you, so let's stop playing and tell me everything you know or someone else is going to torture you to make you more cooperative! -

He now looks frustrated, it turned back into a "human".

-You are afraid too...-

It said.

-Yeah right, that's why you have to disguise as my brother so I don't call the people I told you about! -

It looked at me with those dark blue eyes of his as he puts on a hoodie.

-then why didn't you just shot or just put me to sleep like my parents and my sister? -

He said...

-I'm not an idiot, you could make a shield or something!-

I tried to justify myself.

-do I look like I would do something like that?!, or know how to do something like that?!-

I don't know how to answer that...

-I don't know!..., I just... -

He made a sign so I would shut up, I'm grateful for that...

-I have... Some kind of contamination with ectoplasm that makes me... Turn into that thing..., It's so painful..., It makes me feel sick every time it happens, and yes, I can remember now how this stupid foundation kidnapped you, but it makes me see them when everyone else can't, they are driving me crazy!, I can't die because I would turn into one of them... -

I'm... Confused... I came willingly to the organization and what is he talking about?!.

-who are you talking about?, and well they didn't kidnap me, I went to the foundation willingly-

He chuckles.

-specters... ghost... I don't know..., they stare at me and only say to join them... And the foundation... Kidnapped you when they knew you could talk with the dead and used drugs for everyone to forget about you..., I missed you...-

I slightly lowered my head...

-How do I know you are not lying?... -

He sighs and sits on his bed.

-I don't know, I'm just... Tired..., I just want to rest... And you brought something that could help... -

He said as he pointed at my gun, I tensed up.

-How do I know you are not trying to kill your host to scape?! -

He yells once again...

-I'm your brother @#*#!, I had an accident with that damned portal that turned me into this freak!, my friends are terrified of me..., my parents are exhausted trying to find a cure, Jazz has to deal with my shitty "ghost problems", I just want it all to end!-

He took my hand with the gun and pointed it to his head.

-be a good brother and finish what you came for..., don't worry about this dumb ghost if you want to see it this way... -

He's trembling..., I'm trying to pull away the gun but his grip is too strong..., I looked up at his eyes..., That's why I couldn't recognize them, they look like a corpse ones..., I can't do this knowing who he is... Relating him to my brother..., I can't kill him or letting the foundation take him, I pulled out the gun.

-I can't!, look you can just get away from here, start again somewhere else... -

I tried to convince him.

-I don't want to start again!, I just want to rest!-

I looked away.

-then why would you insist to make me recognize you?... -

He just stared at me blankly.

-Maybe I just want this to be done for someone I love... And would keep the secret to his grave..., It's different than a stranger doing it... Or being locked up in a facility to be a guinea pig... -

I can't blame him for that... I told him they would torture him..., It's not so far away from reality...

-you want it to be done here?... -

I asked, He smiles a little...

-no..., in the lab..., so anyone else from your foundation comes here-

We headed to the lab silently.

-can I ask you a favor? -

I chuckled

-by now I think you can ask me to go into a volcano and I would gladly do it...-

He just smiled and said...

-would you uncover your face for this? -

I'm not sure about this..., one thing is to eradicate a SCP, the other... To completely reveal my identity to it..., I'm not totally sure if he's my real brother or just a very unlucky ghost trapped inside my brother's body.

-what's wrong?... -

He asked as he puts one of his ice cold hands in my shoulder.

-I'll do it if you promise something... -

I pulled out from my pocket a necklace made for neutralize powers involving possession or mind control.

-put this on when we do it... -

He put it on with no resistance.

-just let me see you... -

With some doubt I lowered my hoodie letting him see my face.

-wow..., I... I knew I had a brother but... Not a twin brother, It would have been nice to meet you in other circumstances, you know?, hehe...-

He said with a bright smile.

-I think this must be hard..., there has been barely a couple of minutes in your own house and you had to sedate your parents, your sister and kill your twin..., I... I'm making this more difficult aren't I?... -

He said in an awkward tone, by the seconds I'm beginning to regret this..., I tensed up again, I think he noticed it.

-do you want me to be in that other form?, so you don't have to think of me as... You know... -

I nodded, not wanting to look at him anymore.

-does it hurt?... -

I asked about the transformation I saw.

-yeah..., like my skin getting peel off..., but this is the last time I'm doing it... And I won't come back right?! -

He asked, I must be honest...

-I don't know..., this thing eradicates ectoplasm but I don't know what would happen to you since... You don't look like a full ghost... -

I said, but with a quite desperate tone he answered.

-maybe I can be human again if I don't die...-

I didn't answered as I loaded the gun, a scream could be heard as it erupts into laughter..., I closed my eyes and shot without looking..., a soft whisper could be heard...

-you condemned me... -

I hope someday you will forgive me...

[doomdays]

i'm putting this under a read more because 1) i've never known how to stick to one topic at a time and 2) this is just my mind buzzing everywhere so i'll spare the dash <3

taissa has carefully curated this picture - perfect life for herself.  perfect wife, perfect family, perfect career, perfect reputation, etc.  simone, while she does love her, does not give her the 'spark' she knows people typically find in their partners -- and she has settled for that, because it's easier, because it's what works, because the 'spark' has nearly gotten people killed in the past by things she didn't understand back then and she definitely doesn't understand now, even still.  it's easier with simone and she tells herself that's fine.  she doesn't think about that not being fair for simone because it's fair for her.  

she has repressed all her trauma -- not just from the wilderness, but even long before that when she was a child -- and she doesn't ever deal with anything.  she projects her issues onto other people, and often, she judges them for it, or she invalidates it.  it's not necessarily something she's actively aware of, even when she's called out on it.  

"[therapists] make their living off of problems that don't get solved]."

"for someone who went through some shit of their own, it never ceases to amaze me how shut off you are to help."

"psychogenic this, dissipated that-- besides all the jargon, did she actually have any fixes?""

"she says [sam's] behavior stems from overwhelming stress."  

"for fuck's sake."

most notably it happens with her own son;  everything that happens through her alter self is something she usually inevitably blames on him.  sam is dealing with overwhelming stress because taissa is the source of it,  because she is projecting her own onto him, because he is trying to protect her from "the bad one" whether he understands what that means or not.  

"did she actually have any fixes?" is so important because she is someone who needs control, she needs real, tangible evidence of help.  she has always dismissed her own trauma and pretended it wasn't there, pretended that she was okay, etc -- but she is terrified of herself, terrified of what's going on in her own mind, and she doesn't want to think about that with sammy, either.  she does with him what she does for herself:  claim everything is fine.  

she does the same with nat.  she judges nat for the lifestyle she has and the choices she's made to deal with their grief,  at least outwardly  --- but she doesn't mean it.  she's honest to shauna about how she helps nat because nat has no one else,  but she turns around and openly judges nat for her choices because it's just easier for taissa.  because she doesn't fully understand it,  and nat is right to call her on it:

 "and i know you think i'm crazy, but you know what i see?  you guys are just as fucked up as i am.  you're just better at lying to yourselves.  you're not healthy.  you're not stable.  you're living on the brink, just like me."

because that's literally it:  taissa is just better at lying to herself.  she's not healthy.  she's not stable.  she is living on the brink.  

so when i say she's an unreliable narrator,  i mean that nearly everything i write, especially in her adult verse, she's lying to herself, so she presents herself in a way that contradicts everything she's actually experiencing.  she judges nat for coping with her trauma with drugs, etc., because she's ignoring the way that she herself copes with it,  repressing it so much that she thinks her son is responsible for the horrors she's committed when she's in that state.  she looks at the other survivors and she thinks that she's the only one who accomplished anything because she's lying to herself, and she's only pretending that her life is perfect.

"well, i was going to go to howard. pre-law, with a double major in history and philosophy. and date a bunch of beautiful women, make first string on the soccer team, graduate first in my class. and then i was gonna go to columbia law and land an internship in one of the biggest firms in the city."

"you did do all those things."

"yeah. but if i'm being honest, not a single one of those things felt... real."

but she's honest with shauna.  she is always her truest self when she's with shauna.  she admits to shauna that she helps nat because she sees that she's alone,  she admits to shauna that she's sleepwalking and she feels like she's a danger to everyone around her,  she admits to shauna that she got everything she wanted out of life and still felt empty for it.  the things she admits to shauna are often things she's unwilling to admit even to herself.  she's an unreliable narrator to almost everyone, but that's rarely true when she's talking to shauna.  

that's true as a teenager, too.  she belittled van for believing in lottie and yet she actively participated in those things,  too.  she made fun of the necklace, and then she stole it from van to protect herself  (  unconsciously, and she doesn't remember doing it, but she knows it protected herself and only herself.  )   she doesn't tell van about the sleep walking, and she doesn't tell her what the necklace did for her.  van openly believing in lottie is scary to taissa because it feels like bullshit to tai -- and yet she is actively participating in that 'bullshit,' just unconsciously, and admitting that to van means she is giving up that control herself which means she's never willing to have that honest conversation ( and, imo, is likely why they don't make it. )

anyway i love listening to taissa turner talk because she makes me so mad and sad and excited all at the same time. she is always lying <3 to everyone else and to herself <3 most of the time she doesn't even realize she's lying <3

writing taissa threads is so funny because she’s just constantly lying to herself, and then I have to explain that she’s lying to herself because she is an unreliable narrator!! and it’s fun for me 🖤

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Never meant to be

The first attack was made. So here's my thing @glassartpeasants

Watching (Y/n) has become one of the reasons that kept him on the line... that kept him sane.

His whole word was dark and numb, the only reason he had discovered to see what it meant to be alive was them. They, without even a single word, has reached him how it was to felt alive, to felt like a damn human.

Always he tried to court them by gifts, yet they weren't really interested. Sure, such an angel wasn't suppose to felt attached to such a sin that it was greed... he should have thought about that. That was the problem.

No man alive dared to step one foot closer to you... or else he would teach them a lesson.

You. Belonged. To him. Ever since he layed his eyes on you. You were his.

..it's just you that didn't know it yet.

Such a simple task. His love for you was evident... yet, someone was trying to take you away from him.

Chrono didn't loved you enough, didn't loved you like the way he did.... although he wasn't a foul, he knew how you acted around him.

He tried. God, how much he tried to put into his head that it wasn't anything serious, that it was just his childhood friend making sure you were safe for him...

Yet... he wasn't delusional. He wasn't a foul.

The moment it came to his ears that you and him had grew found of eachother, his world seemed to fall apart. The colors from his vision drew out... he felt completely betrayed, hurt, anger... He destroyed ever part of his office, rearranged his room to put soundproof on the walls just so he could scream and shout all the profanities, curses towards his friend to had let that happen.

It was years since he hadn't felt like this... oh how he wished to just torture Kurono. For stealing the only reason of his living like that... and so out of the blue.

Yet he couldn't... He couldn't bare to see your face if you discovered the truth behind his friend's death, he couldn't bare to just see your beautiful and angelic face painted with sadness...

So he didn't do anything. He could just pray to God that this relationship didn't last long, despite on how selfish was the wish... he even dared to beg for whoever was up above....

But since when someone listened to him? Not his biological parents, not Pops... nobody.

He almost punched Kurono when the man himself had the audacity to comment on the work that you two decided to marry on the civil since that... you were carrying his child.

He felt completely defeated, disgusted... but he was forced to see the child of the woman he loved with his best friend, 'why?' you must wonder?

Because you asked. She asked him to meet her son with Hari.

He could never deny her...

He didn't stayed long. Looking at that baby, that disgusting baby hurted him. Destroyed him.... broke him...

How could a man tolerate something like this on his life?

After a few months, he decided to burry himself into the yakusa. He blamed you and Kurono; if he hadn't fell for you, he wouldn't be feeling this numb... this empty.

He couldn't remember how it happened... but he did remember it was on a rainy day.

Never think "things can't get worse then already was".... because they can. Life doesn't give you lemons after all, it punchs you in the face and kicks you into unconscious until they're satisfied.

He was running after Mimic went to him, speaking that something went wrong in a mission and as he ran on the rain he found the sign of his childhood friend... his lifeless body with a bullet craved into his forehead and blood slidding down his forehead along with the drops of the water that fell from the sky.

"Chrono..!" He couldn't bring someone back to life... his quirk was powerful but not one of that kind... he lost his childhood friend... the boy who grew up with him... the one he even dared to consider as a brother.

He suddenly widened his eyes in horror and ran towards the trail of blood that certainly wasn't of Chrono... leading to his dear (Y/n).. eyes closed and completely beaten up...

"No no NO NO-!" He went to the ground, not mindfull of his mysophobia as he got your body on his arms and checked for pulse... it was so hard to find it by the way his hands trembled, but he found it "You're breathing..." he sighed in relief and went to use his quirk before he felt you bruised and bloody hand resting on his naked wrist.

"N-no... don't..." you coughed up as he almost lost his mind.

"YOU'RE GOING TO DIE YOU IDIOT!" He shouted, grabbing onto your shoulders as your vision slowly started to fade "(Y/N) DONT CLOSE YOUR EYES! DONT YOU FUCKING DARE TO CLOSE YOUR EYES-!"

"P-please... i-I-" you extended your hand towards Chrono, the action making ylhis heart break as he stared at you "H-Hari... put me... next t-to... to him..."

"LISTEN TO ME!" He shouted desperately as tears gathered on his golden eyes as hives started to appear "YOU CAN'T JUST DIE DAMMIT! DONT LEAVE THIS WORLD-!...don't l-leave me-!" He cried as you managed to open your eyes just to speak your finals words... the ones he so desperately wished you hadn't...

"P-Please... K-Kai... take-take... take care of my... daughter..." he widened his eyes at that... out of everything you could have asked...

"I can't.. ask me anything but this-"

"Please..."

Were your last words as your head fell on his hand... he tried to use his quirk. He tried despite knowing you wouldn't want to... yet he couldn't. He failed... he failed on everything...

He failed on protecting the one he loved the most.

.

.

Years passed by... and the loss tormented him... every single day. It was there a reminder after all.

With those (E/c) eyes and white hair.. strands shaped on little arrows.

.

.

"You sure?" The girl muttered up to her guardian as he only sighed and mentioned to the chair once again. She went and crawled to the chair on the dark room.

"The world will be cured this way then?" The girl mused as the masked man put the hand cuffs on her wrists as she looked up to those emotionless golden eyes "With my quirk everything will be normal again, right? Uncle?"

He shivered in disgust and anger at the title... bit when he looked at those (E/c) and how much this girl reminded him of you... he manage to control himself and let out a sigh.

"Exactly. With my plan and this method I created, the hero sickness will dissapear... once and for all."

The girl opened a smile amd nodded.

"Okay! It's what my mom would like! Right?" She asked with hopefully eyes as he stared back at her with grief as he nodded.

"You remind me way too much of her... maybe that's why you dont see the problem on helping me... with your blood and Eri's... I will create the perfect product." He looked at the bullets and stared at Aiko.

"I do?"

He felt a burn in his eyes, one he hadn't felt on years even...

"Yeah." He snatched one of his gloves out of his hands "You do."

[aromantic-eight]

[Rolls up sleeves] So I hear there's a gen fic celebration going on right now and boy do I have some fics to link. Strap in, folks, because the next fews days I am going to be going through 10 years worth of fic bookmarks, posting one fandom at a time.

I’ll be putting these together quick, and many of these I have not read in a long time, so they’ll mostly just have a length range, some general content tags I used for organizing, the summary, and a hopefully-still-working link.

First up is a blast from the past, a show I was obsessed with back in high school:

Yu Yu Hakusho

The Best Defense by joisbishmyoga (PG)

Words: 100k+

Tags: Crossover with Harry Potter, plotty, undercover, outsider!pov, worldbuilding, fantasy racism, demon!Kurama

In the wake of Cedric Diggory's death, after another Dark Tournament in Japan, Koenma discovers problems in the Wizarding World. Who to send but his team, undercover and under false pretenses? New magic and new companionships, as the Reikai Tantei are set loose on Hogwarts.

Note: This fic is technically Kurama/Hiei, however the author intentionally wrote it such that it could be interpreted either way. It’s blink-and-you’ll-miss-it and not important to the plot

Additional note: I initially found this fic over 10 years ago and I still go back every couple years and reread it, it’s just. So good.

 A Good Offense by joisbishmyoga (PG-13)

Words: 100k+

Tags: Crossover with Harry Potter, plotty, undercover, outsider!pov, worldbuilding, fantasy racism, demon!Kurama

(Unfinished/Dropped) Another year at Hogwarts, and, as always, last year's events have consequences... Sequel to The Best Defense.

 Frostbite by joisbishmyoga (Pg-13)

Words: 1-5k

Tags: Kurama & Yukina, angst, character death (kind of), grief, futurefic

Yukina doesn't want gratitude.

Note: This is technically part of the above crossover universe, but stands on its own.

 Hide and Seek by nightwalker3 (PG-13)

Words: 5-10k

Tags: Suspense/horror, character study, ghosts

Kuwabara learns that normal is boring, which is just as well since it's never going to happen to him.

Note: Recommend checking out this author’s other fics if you like this. It’s a mix of genfic and slashfic and I know I’ve found others I like here that don’t seem to be among these bookmarks.

 Cookie Cutter by Windswift (PG)

Words: 1-5k

Tags: Character study, pre-series, introspective rumors/misconceptions

All the other mothers in Shuuichi's class were all alike, were good, traditional Japanese women. Shiori, on the other hand, is the bad, neglectful mother. Shuuichi's childhood wasn't very easy for anyone.

 The Normal Son by Titan of Saturn (PG)

Words: 500-1k

Tags: introspective, demon!Kurama

Shiori has always known that her son wasn't normal. She watched Shuichi grow up and can see that he isn't like other children. She can see that their relationship isn't mother/son, because he's perfect and she's made of glass. Drabble, Shiori's POV.

 Understand by Out-Of-Control-Authoress (PG)

Words: 1-5k

Tags: Introspective, demon!Kurama, pre-series

Her eyes traveled to the little boy in the doorway, peering at her with curiosity as she stood there in the yard. For the time being, Shiori Minamino didn't need to understand.

 Reputation by Windswift (PG)

Words: 1-500

Tags: Missing scene, introspective

100-word drabble - Kurama hadn't realized Hiei was old enough to follow all the old legends and rumors, especially the grain of truth hidden within.

 Flowers by Pyralis Anacreon (PG)

Words: 1-5k

Tags: demon!Kurama, Introspective

Five senses in five years. And a sixth she doesn't gain until it's too late. Shiori knows her son is special.

 Book of Shadows by joisbishmyoga (PG-13)

Words: 1—5k

Tags: Crossover with Cardcaptor Sakura, heists gone wrong

Hiei stops by Kurama's house with a few questions guaranteed to pique the youko's interest.  

 An' It Harm None by joisbishmyoga (PG-13)

Words: 5-10k

Tags: Crossover with Cardcaptor Sakura, plotty, worldbuilding

[Unfinished/Dropped] An attack has left Sakura with mysteries on her hands and in her deck. With the Guardians unable to identify them, much less agree, how is she to figure out what she's done? Sequel to my Yu Yu Hakusho fic, Book of Shadows ON HOLD pending rewrite.

 Like Glass by joisbishmyoga (PG)

Words: 1-500

Tags: pre-series, character study, canon character death

When Hina died, she was still worth a proper burial.

 End Game Begin by joisbishmyoga (R)

Words: 1-5k

Tags: missing scene

Yuusuke has a talk with Kurama, and along the way clears up some troubling inconsistencies. Rated for language.