#hornily online

[deathwhoregutfucker]

Chronically Online Mayhem Headcanons!

TRIGGER WARNING: PRO-ANA MENTIONED IN PELLE"S HC

Varg

Varg is loud and wrong on twitter all the time

He’s always arguing with Øystein and trying to piss him off

He’d fall for it for a little bit, but then he’d learn that Varg only wants a reaction so he’d stop responding and he would look like a fucking moron (so euro wins in this situation)

An ‘anonymous hacker’ (Øystein Aarseth) would leak his dick pics and they’d go fucking viral

He would make 100 different burner accounts on Yelp to give Helvete bad reviews

And he would have all of his Burzum fanboys mass report Øystein and send hatemail to Helvete

He would also have a scandal where he liked gay porn and Øystein would screenshot that shit 

Øystein

Harassing Varg on twitter

Making thirst traps of Varg on tiktok and he’d be superrr popular too

He’d be the person who made that edit of Varg Vikernes

And because Varg is so egotistical he would watch the account all the time, and eventually he’d message the account talking about how much he loved the edits (he has them all saved in a folder and he watches them whenever he feels shitty)

And then he’d ask for the account number…

And guess what! It’s Oyster!!!

And he would be pissed and curse him out and call him an assortment of homophobic slurs (that he can also reclaim!!)

And Øystein would try to cancel him but it wouldn’t work because

But anyways, he would always repost memes from Necro’s meme account and he’d save all of them and post them on the Helvete instagram story every once in a while

He would also have an alt twitter to post gay porn on…(probably the same account that Varg liked!!)

And he would subtweet Varg all the time too

Necrobutcher

He’s a funny fella

Pretty unproblematic, but he’d flirt with Øystein “IRONICALLY” in those twitter comments

Oh, he would save those dick pics from Varg too

He’d be the first one that Øystein would show them to

And his Meme page would be super popular

He would also be a reddit and discord moderator, no question about that

Hellhammer

Hellhammer would be ‘too good’ for social media

He’d have twitter but he wouldn’t use it that much because it’s “too much drama” (real)

But he would be all up on facebook

He’d be on facebook like crazy but he’s mostly just post music stuff

Pelle

Oh boy

Just like @svgarcaine said, he would have a pro-ana tumblr blog

He would have it all aesthetic and shit too

And he would have besties on there, he would talk about how he would wanna go see them

And his body would be posted on Pintrest ALL of the fucking time  

He would be an icon among the pro-ana community

And Varg would somehow find his account and save his pictures for COMPLETELY GAY AND HOMOSEXUAL STRAIGHT REASONS OKAYY!!?!?!?

[sexhaver]

In my niche kink/fetish community the "kink can be not sexual" people are using it to justify why they want to write about doing it with kids, or more disgustingly, talking abt it to kids. (bc theyre pedos). They make "nsfw dni!!" blogs where they use exact kink lingo and imagery, but somehow it's "sfw". (and minors are welcome to interact, if course). Also sometimes they want to post abt being into incest but not catch any heat from people weirded out by it. I don't really know why other people claim that tho.

tbh i feel like this specific flavor of "sfw kink" discourse that you're describing is mostly endemic to online communities centered around fantasies that aren't really possible to act out irl, like inflation and vore. since they're fantasies, they're also much harder to participate in non-hornily, since the only way to participate in the scene is to... fantasize about it, which, like, im not saying it's impossible to spend hours each day thinking about getting eaten or stepped on or blown up like a tire in a non-horny way, but i am saying it's happened maybe a dozen times ever in history. then you mix in the standard "inviting minors to discord to DM them about sexual stuff while telling them it's not sexual and they're so mature for their age" playbook and stuff ends predictably.

what's more interesting to me are the people making this claim about irl community spaces like the oft-bandied-about "nonsexual BDSM parties" or "platonic shibari" or what have you. setting aside for a moment the logistical issues with ensuring that everyone at these events is on the same page wrt the horniness (see that anon i got the other day about someone who gets aroused by BDSM tying up people who want it to be "nonsexual"), specifically referring to these meetups as "kinky" instead of "hobbyist" despite the nominal absence of sexual arousal gives me the exact same vibes as those pole-dancing fitness classes that try to separate themselves from the existence of strippers (NO I AM NOT SAYING POLE-DANCING IS A KINK). they want to have their cake (calling themselves "kinky"/having the allure of being Sexually Deviant) and eat it too (make sure everyone knows they aren't actually horny about it unlike those devious Sex Perverts who are just trying to get off)

[drippydumdum]

Really liked your sissy ideas! Do you have some more?

i do yes.

1. Rename yourself. for sissies its always best to have a useless stripper name. something that ends with and i. something that has no meaning and is feminine. like Kiki, Chastitti, Candi, Trixi, and things like that. reinforcing that name by infusing it in your life. order things on this name when online shopping, doodle it with hearts and butterflies, just anything to reinforce your sissy name.

2. make a mantra for yourself, record it, play it while you sleep or do any work. let the mantra play on your earphones but dont pay attention to it. let it be a background voice. if coming in your own voice, it will reinforce your sissy identity. plus letting the mantra be a background noise that is constantly feeding your brain will make it stick to your subconscious. especially when asleep.

3. Makeup!! even with gender equality rising (about time it happened) up, makeup is still widely known as a feminine trait. wear lipsticks, lipgloss, a little blush. do all things seperately. at times only gloss, only lipstick, sometimes only blush. highlighters are the best. especially when you're outside the house. let people see you with makeup.

4. start modifying your hobbies and likes. start looking for heels instead of sneakers. gowns and dresses instead of suits and shirts, nail art instead of cars and bikes. disengage yourself with anything that affirms masculinity.

5. glitter! ✨✨✨ start making things glittery and sparkly in pinks and purples. nice soft pastel colours with sparkles. your laptop cover, mousepad, phone cover, some room decoration, your phone wallpaper. glitter and pink is considered extremely feminine. the shinier the better.

6. Manicures and Pedicures. nothing screams feminine as well manicured nails. sparkly nailpaints, long nails.

7. sissi porn. follow sissies on tumblr, Instagram, Facebook, youtube. watch at least one or 2 hour of sissy inspiration videos, of sissies who are living a happy feminized lives.

8. interaction. theres no point in going through this alone. find people you can talk to. sissies who are living this life 24/7, people who like sissies, like to sissify others and so on. you feel more comfortable and encouraged when you know you're not alone and when people talk about your likes positively. build more connections that affirm your sissy side.

9. pretty common but edge. the more sexually frustrated you are, the more suggestible you get. with the amount of edging posts you might see here, it might not sound as a big deal. but the constant sexual frustration keeps your mind clouded by horniness and before you know it, you're doing things you might have not done before confidently, hornily and desperately. edging works wonders to keep you sexually easy.

Please Beware That These Steps Are For Long Term And Permanent Personality Changes.

These steps heighten your sissy persona in a full time behaviour. dont do this if you're just looking for an hour of fun every once a while. only follow this if you want to be a long term sissy or a permanent sissy. follow at your own risk. these methods are all tried and tested on my slave @kikithecumdump that i sissified.

[themonopolyhat]

i mentioned the quinobi ship to my beloved, who loves star wars but isn't really involved in online sw fandom.

beloved: quinobi?

me: quinlan and obi-wan

beloved: oh 🤔

beloved: ... so the shippers watching that scene in the kenobi show

beloved: "quinlan was here," he said

beloved: hornily

[ithisatanytime]

BAD GYAL - FIEBRE PROD KING DOUDOU slow wine

 IRL i do VERY WELL with woman, its just here are no hot women here, literally none, i should be spending my prime having casual sex and i have the raw attributes to be a slayer its just im trapped here in margaritaville. online im not so great about it because honestly im not gonna get on a plane for pussy its just not happening anymore, so in effect im like tantalus my dick will get me in these situations in which im never gonna get satisfaction, even at the last moment i will fuck it up basically on purpose because my head knows better than my dick you know. in order to actually take a girl seriously i would have to go WAY younger than what is socially acceptable because women are ruined FAST these days, even when i was young they were ruined fast but you could fuck em first and sort of mold them to not be fucked up. i was hornily scrolling selfie tags and shit, but seriously type trad or trad girl into the tags, i really want you to do it you have to see it to believe it, instead of finding girls who would overlook my politics, it is ONE HANDRED PUHCENT busted ass goth hos.