#hordak let your wife give you tiny foods

[spacebatisluvd]

The fluff, as promised!

Entrapdak drabble—The Tiny Food Experiment

-

Hordak looked across the table at Entrapta, his mouth pressed into a thin line. “What is the purpose of this?”

“Everyone needs to eat.” She smiled as she said it. Her hair coiled into a seat beneath her, and she bounced a little, eagerness bleeding off her. “Even you.”

He nudged a pastry with one claw. “I do not require tiny food. My nutrient slurry is perfectly adequate.”

“Pfffh. ‘Adequate’.” He looked at her, and she leaned forward. “Why does it just have to be adequate? Why can’t it be fun too?”

Frowning, he started to reply, then he realized he didn’t have a good answer. He huffed. “It’s a waste of time and resources,” he said, but even he knew it was a weak reply. Her mouth quirked into a knowing smile, and he looked away, his ears tilted down.

“It takes time to eat your smoothie—“

“It is not a ‘smoothie’!”

“—and resources to make it, so you might as well eat something that makes you happy too!”

He studied the tiny food. “I do not understand. This makes you happy?”

“Yeah—look!” She held up a tiny cupcake, the frosting shaped to look like a pig. “Isn’t it cute?!”

He leaned close to study the cupcake. “It is...very pink.”

She looked at it, then looked at the tray. “Here. Why don’t you try this one first? Your species is primarily frugivorous, right?”

“Yes, we are biologically frugivorous omnivores. Though we sometimes supplemented our diet with meat and insects—prior to developing our nutrient rations, of course.” He eyed her. “They are much more efficient.”

“But not nearly as fun! Here, this is a fruit tart; based on the taste preferences of other frugivorous species, you should enjoy it!”

His ears flexed. He looked at the variety of tiny foods—a fruit tart, a cupcake, some kind of quiche, and a few items he couldn’t identify. Some were meant to be sweet, others savory. The only thing they had in common was their small size. “Entrapta.” He glanced at Emily, noting that she was recording. “Is this an experiment?”

“No! Well. Yes. You don’t mind, do you? It’s just—this is fascinating! You’ve never eaten anything aside from your smoothies—“

“Nutrient slurry.”

“—and ration bars, so you’re a completely blank slate! It’ll be fascinating to see what, if anything, you enjoy! I don’t usually like to dip into the soft sciences, but it’s going to be interesting to see if your taste and texture preferences are shaped more strongly by environmental and social factors or if your biology plays a larger role!” Her voice rose with each word, and she leaned closer as she spoke, her hands splayed to show her excitement.

Then, all at once, her features fell and she pulled back. “Oh. Maybe this is...you don’t mind, do you?”

He cocked his head. “Why would I mind?”

Her hands fluttered, and her hair coiled. “I don’t know. People seem to get upset when I study them.” Her hand went to her welding mask, ready to bring it down to cover her face.

He frowned, ears flexing. “They should be flattered to be the subject of your interest.”

She looked at him, bringing the mask back up. “Are you?”

He should have expected the question. He had not. His ears perked up and his eyes widened. He could feel heat spreading across his cheeks. Instead of answering, he took the fruit tart and cleared his throat. “Emily, take a note—first sample is a small fruit tart. It appears to be composed primarily of...” He studied it. “...various berries. Do you have a scale you’d like me to use? Or should I simply give you my thoughts?”

“It’s not a formal study,” Entrapta confessed, leaning forward. “I won’t be presenting my findings or anything. This is for my personal use.”

His ears flexed and he swallowed, looking down. “I. See. What’s the purpose of this again?”

“To develop some foodstuffs for you that will be more than just ‘adequate’.” She smiled at him. “I want you to enjoy them too.”

“That is entirely unnecessary,” he said, hearts beating faster. It was taking every ounce of willpower he had not to squirm uncomfortably under her gaze. No one had ever done something like this for him. Ever. Even when she’d created his armor, that at least served an obvious purpose. But this? He had no idea how to react to this.

“Hordak!” She sounded exasperated. “You’re allowed to have things that you like! Even if they aren’t necessary—especially if they aren’t necessary!”

He glanced at her, his cheeks uncomfortably warm. “I.” She pushed the tray toward him, her eagerness obvious.

“For science?” she asked.

He narrowed his eyes. “For science—and that is the only reason I’m indulging this!” She only leaned her chin on her hands, smiling and wiggling in her seat when he finally took a tentative bite.

[droewyn]

Question Game!

I was tagged by @phlintandsteel!

rules:

1. answer the questions given by the person who tagged you

2. write 10 questions of your own and tag 10 people

1.  Have you ever truly hated another human being?

Yes.  My stepmom’s son.  She raised him as a single mom, and while she didn’t have much of anything, she gave it all to him.  He wanted to go to broadcasting school to be a radio DJ.  She was terrified that he’d fail, but supported him anyway, and when he didn’t fail, she was his biggest fan.  Then he met and married Old Southern Money, and became ashamed of his roots.  He cut off all contact with her -- told her via fucking certified mail that she didn’t “do enough” for him and he wanted nothing more to do with her.  Periodically he calls just to fuck with her brain, saying that he wants to talk, only to go off on her and belittle her.  When his first kid was born, he invited her and my dad to the baptism, and when they flew down to New Orleans on their own dime he bitched her out and told her he didn’t want her there.  Like he'd never intended for her to attend, he just wanted to humiliate her in person.  We had her on suicide watch for weeks after that little trick.  I've actually wondered if driving her to suicide is his goal.  He is staggeringly cruel, an absolute waste of humanity, and the world would be so much better off without him in it.  At least then my stepmom could have some goddamn closure and stop getting tortured every six months.  I hope his wife has a billion affairs, gives him crotch rot, and leaves him for the mailman.  I hope his kids grow up to break his heart.  I’d also really like to kick his balls into his throat.  Repeatedly.

... sorry.  You asked.  :/

2.  How do YOU pronounce caramel?

CARE-uh-mel.

3.  What was your first fandom?

Um.  Okay, so, like.  I'm old. Tumblr OldTM, but still. So I'm kind of not sure how to answer this question.

The first thing I went absolutely nuts over was My Little Pony.  I was four, and there were these pastel unicorns and I.  Had. To have.  Them all.

The first thing I made up stories in my head about was Rainbow Brite.

The first thing I had headcanon for was She-Ra, Princess of Power.  When the DVDs came out and I rewatched the series as an adult, I was genuinely shocked that the episode where Adora had to earn everyone's trust because hello, there's usually a step between "I've decided to quit being the enemy's greatest general" and "I accept the position of leadership in your rebellion", didn't actually exist.  I still "remember" it vividly, and I'm not entirely convinced that there wasn't some history rewriting or parallel universe involved.

The first fanfiction I wrote was for Final Fantasy I.  I wrote a Save Our Princess! flyer for some spelling test or something in sixth grade.

My first actual online fandom was Sailor Moon.  I had a 2400 baud modem, and the tiny, distorted, 300x400 video of the Japanese opening credits took two days to download.  Fanfiction.net didn't exist yet, never mind AO3.  We had WEBRINGS.  It was barbaric.

4.  Guys in high heels, yes or no?

Doesn't do anything for me, but then I'm demi, and my boy has never been into that.  You do you and don't worry about what I think.

5.  Did you go to college, and if so, was it worth it?

I dropped out as a sophomore, so no.  It was not worth it.  I'm making decent money as an entirely self-taught Salesforce admin. 

6.  What is your favorite type of AU?

Something that gives me an entirely new experience while staying true to the characters.  I've loved me some A/B/O, and I've also been utterly revolted by A/B/O.  Ditto for soulmates, fake relationships, pretty much all of it.  It's all the writer and their storytelling for me, not a specific setting.

...

OKAY FINE GIVE ME ALL THE LEVERAGE YOI AU IN THE WORLD AND I WILL BE SO HAPPY THERE I SAID IT

7.  Would you hide your orientation/stay in the closet to get ahead in your career (I guess I’m assuming since this is tumblr that we’re all queer here)?

I joined the workforce in the late 1990's.  Of course I have been in the closet at various workplaces, though much of it was less being concerned about possible advancement or lack thereof and more not wanting to deal with being the freak in the triad relationship. These days I'm open about being queer with my coworkers, though I have not laid out any actual details to anyone. Except for the one adorable little baby gay who worried that I might find some people's behavior shocking if I went to Detroit Pride this year.  Then I was all oh sweetie you think I'm vanilla that's so cute let me tell you exactly how wrong you are.

8.  What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

So I take about a quarter cup of olive oil, right?  The regular stuff, not EVOO; EVOO can't take being heated without losing flavor so there's no point in spending the extra money for the sake of being fancy.  I grind up some salt and pepper with a mortar and pestle until it's super fine and add it to the oil, stirring so the particles are evenly suspended throughout.  Then I crush about 4-6 cloves of garlic and add them.  Yes, cloves.  More than that if they're small.  Next, I turn the stove on to the popcorn sweet spot (just past the 7 line on my range) and add a single kernel of corn.  When that pops, it’s time to add the rest of the popcorn, about a half cup.  It has to be kept moving!  I use one of those hand-cranked popcorn kettles that lets me continually stir; if I don't have that it's shaking the (lidded) pot like a savage and trying not to get burned by escaping steam.  When the popcorn is done, it gets dumped in a very large bowl and sprinkled immediately with powdered parmesan cheese so that the remaining oil will allow the cheese to stick to the popcorn.  Sometimes I add some fresh chives if I'm feeling precious.

That is my favorite popcorn, and it is the fucking bomb.

9.  What character do you think deserved a better redemption arc (or to get one when they didn’t)?

Actually, I'm going to go back to my She-Ra headcanon from above.  I know it was a child's cartoon from the 1980's.  But even when I was a child I understood that some transgressions are just too big for "Whoops, sorry I was like brainwashed and stuff" to cut it.  She needed trials, tribulations.  She needed to earn her place.  Earn the right for redemption.  I'd love to see a take on the series that digs into that.  (That and the Hordak/Adora relationship.  Why the fuck did he raise her to be innocent when keeping her that way was so much trouble?  Was she a trophy?  Was she the one good thing in his life?  If so, why did he make her fight for him?  Did he ever care for her at all?  These questions should keep her up at night.  She should be torn between hatred and love for the father figure she thought she'd had.  IT WOULD BE SO DELICIOUS)

10.  What element would you choose if you could bend/control ONE.

Carbon.  I'd basically have control over everything organic and RULE THE WORLD MUA HA HA HA HA

I’m tagging the following people (entirely voluntary, of course):

@mercury01, @minttytea, @doesitlooklikeineedanotherfandom, @silvercrystal1, @basedpandesal, @cinnamonviking, @spideypool-snarryalways, @planeoftheeclectic, @ihaveacrappyusername, and all of the porn bots.

My questions:

1. What would your ideal T-shirt slogan read?

2. What is your comfort food, activity, and/or piece of clothing, and why?

3. Which fandom are you the most proud to be part of?  Which fandom are you ashamed of?  They can be the same fandom.

4. Name one thing about yourself that you like.  This must be genuine.  NO SIDESTEPPING, SELF-NEGGING, OR BACKHANDED SHIT.  IF I CAN DO IT YOU CAN.

5. Do you have any traditions in your family that you’ve inherited and are happy to carry forward?  Are there any traditions that you’d like to start yourself?

6. What are your pet(s) name(s)?  If you don’t have a pet, what would you name your fantasy pet?

7. What of yours would you like archaeologists (alien or future humans; your choice) to dig up one day?  Why?

8. You’ve done all of those “What’s your porn/writer/Star Wars/etc name” memes.  We all have.  What’s your favorite one?

9. What song summarizes you?

10. What’s your superpower?  Will you be a hero or a villain?

BONUS QUESTION BECAUSE MY HUSBAND WANTS TO CONTRIBUTE BUT IS A SMARTASS: 

11. If Richard the Lionheart had actually taken his shit seriously, do you think he could have spanked Saladin, or did existing socioeconomic and political conditions doom his Crusade to failure?