#hoping itll get better for me lmao
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Hi gang I'm gonna be real and say that i feel my arts been SOO bad over the last like year or so cuz I've been so worried on completing my school art and preparing it for college icl so here's an attempt to draw smth again in the way that's most fun for me :)
Bonus of just the lineart cuz I think it looked nice
#hoping itll get better for me lmao#i rlly hope this doesnt come out all sob sounding lmao i just like to explain my art sometimes#milo murphy's law#mml#milo murphy#amanda lopez#milanda#fanart#marts arts
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hi it's me. bulletpoints
job has concluded! barring sudden expansion on the project I think that's gonna be it for my work here. six character cards in total! this leads to
wrists are bit fucked. I'll be putting that thang (creen tablet) in da closet again for at least a month while trying to hold as few heavy objects as possible for the time being
why one month deadline? well it's bc I made an artfight account. I'm fucking doing it this year on god I'll kick anyone's ass I'll kick my own ass. I'll post a link to my acc a week or so before the event starts, meanwhile I'll keep updating my roster and cleaning up this cardboard box I arrived at their door in. do u guys have a spare pair of suspenders I have a really funny joke to make
will be doing it on the creen tablet, unless I make enough to get a new graphic tablet that works with SAI2 inbetween. on that note
ink comms should come back sometimes next week babeyy I need to get back into da groove! miss my G pen it feels like I was close to something last time. I wanna get back to it. but also
I'm writing a fic now. tis the season it seems this happened last year too. but I'll try my best to not disappear off the face of the earth for 3 months running again lol I'll do my best to pace myself, since this is gonna be one of the heftier writing things.
sk8 people and another very specific subset of people will be pleased to know it's a sk8 Real Steel AU. if this means nothing to u carry on. have a good day. to the five people still here I'll probably be brainposting abt writing this so don't be surprised if that comes up here and there
circling back a bit I'm currently 120 USD away from the graphic tablet I wanna get, so that'll be what the ink comms are going toward. otherwise if u enjoy my art and have a spare doller to buy the baku a coffee I'd absolutely appreciate ur support! not mandatory but I'll definitely be very thankful! especially bc
I'll probably phase out the redbubble store some time in the future. at the very least I'll probably stop uploading new things on there while looking for alternative. ohh baby they are doing some wild shit and I want off the ride please. please
but yeah. that's the current plan for things. I've accepted that comics happen when they want to, and I have faith they still want to see the sunlight some time this year. meanwhile we keep busy keep training keep recovering! thank u for ur patience. have a good night take this sharp object
#bakuspeech#boy oh boy. its been a Month#hi. I received a sticker sheet and a clay pin of frogs today. its been good#art wise Ive been on day three of drawing break. and day. something. of writing this fic#I! kind of! know how itll end! but if nothing I know I am so willing to improv this shit to the bitter confusing end#you guys dont get to see the proof of that sorry. but my friend yumi specifically u know. u know#at least nobody died graphically ten thousand years ago in space this time#this year has been real fuckin topsy turvy so far art wise. but I have learned a lot! including to fuckign pace myself. and I am practicing#straight up had at least three unrelated art and art-adjacent breakdown in the last three months lmao. its so. this is so#well. Im better now. I am so smart and I kick my own ass so well. we good! we are good. dw abt me!#hope ur having a good day. games official ship date now lands in october. my art will be out there in peoples hands soon......#ah. well right now I need to sleep. or finish ryan chongoshows hifi rush stream series. whichever applies first#have a good night lads! do a twirl to skip this level
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#personal#ok whatever. ive decided to go all in. like what?? am i just gonna sit around hoping he'll message me???#someone has to make a move and CLEARLY it has to be me NDNNDJDJDJDJDJDJSJ#tho to be fair its like. holidays JJDJDJDJDJD#i also dont know if ive mentioned this detail. but im 2 years older. so idk if That also plays a factor.#like maybe thats intimidating. idk#i just !!!! dont want this chance to pass by. so im gonna like.... Make Moves even if !!!!! it means that he'll know i like him#like ...... ok assuming he doesnt already know NDJJDJDJDJD#im sure i get GooGoo eyes u know#but n e way...... literally i have nothing to lose#like i have more to lose if i do nothing JDJJDJDJDJDJND#hhhhh god. ive been thinking about this for days. weeks even maybe. hhhhhhhhhhhh.....#but also like i think itll just be good to hang iut as friends for a bit bc like ik him in a school setting and ive hung out with him#(along with others) outside of school twice#but like... ya idk id like to know him better b4 im like YA UR THE ONE.#tho like im already thinking he is NDJJDJDJFJFJ. god............ it could just be a culmination of different things making me think that#and like i think ppl can have multiple 'the ones' or whatever#and like idk b4 him i was actually settled on being single LMAO. so like my options are pretty stacked already#like ok 1. him. and 2. me. i mean......... thats 10/10....#i'll be heartbroken if he doesnt feel the same or we dont work out but..... i mean.... whatever JDJXJXJDJZMZM#i was fine b4 i met him and i'll be fine after........
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Was going to change my pfp but ended up hating this immediately lmao 😭
The corners aren't done because he Was done for a discord
#been in a shitty mood all night thought drawing would help me get out of it#only seemed to make it worse :(((#been in a shitty mood all day honestly#hope itll be better tomorrow 🙏#if not then. ermmmm#maybe ill make another half finished drawing to post here to try and calm down lmao 😭
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#been feeling horrible these past 2 days and i havent been to art school#the schedule is a mess bc i have to take the bus everyday and it doesnt really match with my afternoon classes#so i get stressed bc i have to wait for hours and then run to get the last bus and skip the last 2h or sometimes the last 3h of classes#and i know i have no control over that but the fact that we're also struggling with money issues lmao like the cherry on top#+ mentally im not doing alright ive been battling with ocd since i was 10 but its getting hard so it doesnt help with my anxiety either#i have constants heart palpitations since 2 years ago bc of anxiety and these 2 days ive been feelings useless for not going to school#but i dont feel strong enough and im scared of going out its like everything's too much right now and i know itll get better#it always does#but i had a huge anxiety attack this evening and im just so tired physically and mentally i dont even have the energy to care about school#it drains me#i hope i can start some schoolwork tomorrow tho#or else ill have too many stuff to do soon and ill have more anxiety lol#anyways ik no one's gonna read this but i needed to rant#rant
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the job has been going surprisingly ok! I got most of my hours for the week done in like 4 days and im kinda hoping next week i can cut that down to getting it done in like, 3 and then having 4 days off lol. but i do have a webinar thing to attend tomorrow and im dreading it dskkfhkj. i never do well at live meeting call thngies. I do ok at in person ones but for some reason web based ones wig me out x_x (its only like 45 mins and mic only so it could be worse??) auggh
#just experiencing Real Heavy anxiety abt it. like im sure itll be fine#but also its kinda objectively funny to have a training/basics and faq webinar. after ive been working here almost 2 weeks? LMAO??#a bit late for training isnt it?? 😭 ive been learning on the job...#ive made a few mistakes so far and my brain is like. the person is going to call u out on ALl of them and be mad#but. the guide literally said u have 3 months to get ur accuracy up to a certain level . so i know thats just anxiety talking#BUT STILL.#at least i recognized they were mistakes on my own and dont make them anymore?? like im still learning TwT;;#i dont actually hate the job its very chill and a diff vibe from my prev jobs and the work is kinda interesting#like its prob not what id choose to do ideally. but. not mental breakdown type terrible?#like itd never be enough to live off of and the work loads are very inconsistent but. yk. its better than nothing#and better than going back to retail hell. ill die before i go back.#im kinda just hoping theres a lot of new hires at the webinar so i can just knda sit back and chill w/out having to say much lol..pls dont#be a small group...#i also want to try and list more things on depop tomorrow or this weekend bc idk whats going on w me#but i like. hate evryhting i own suddenly ?? and want to kinda overhaul my style...#ugggh. my brain is full of bees lately#sanchoyorambles#i also wanna post some art sometime soon bc my art blog is STAGNATING but i havent had anything huge to post#im working on smthbehind the scenes but its BIG and taking TIME
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partial-sobriety update under the cut
i was trying to go completely alcohol free for the day but the withdrawals are really awful, i cant stop shaking, my heart is racing, i havent slept at all, and im scared of having another withdrawal seizure. i took 1000 mg of gabapentin to try and help and it didnt even make a dent. ive 3 beers left in the fridge so i think im just gonna slowly drink those throughout the day just so it will lower the risk of seizure and maybe make me able to take a nap, but nothing more than that, im hoping tomorrow i can really go alcohol free for a whole day. if youve missed any of my previous addiction journal posts, I'm not striving for full 100% sobriety cause i know im not capable of that right now and its gonna result in a really nasty relapse, but im trying to not get blackout drunk every single night anymore like i usually do so i dont wake up experiencing heavy withdrawal symptoms and immediately need to go back to the bottle to feel better. im trying to drink like.... an amount a normal person would drink, or probably actually a little above that cause again i just dont think im there yet and i need to ease myself into this. i really dont think im gonna be able to go fully sober until i get out of this abusive living situation so im just trying to practice harm reduction in the meantime. im working to leave but its hard and itll be a couple years probably at least. it fucking sucks and i hate it lmao. i just wanna feel alive for the first time in my life and not like a walking corpse all the time. i know there will still be challenges after i get out but it will be a lot easier to face them if i dont yknow. have a boot on my neck 24/7.
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recently finished binging rivals. declan & cameron have me in a chokehold right from their first introduction! The way they slowly begin to respect each other- the fact he even asks whether he should save the northern Ireland til later for the big Thatcher interview like hello ep1 declan would never have asked her. Read the book- ngl this is one of the rarer cases where the series is so much better than the book(certain plots/character arcs so underdeveloped). Their chemistry is hinted at in the book too which makes for v buzzy s2 theories (she has some interesting narration). Personally I think (hope) she ends up going to declan to help deal w Tony (or by coincidence)- like morally righteous declan putting his principles aside for her?! Oh I deffo think itll be the she falls first but him harder trope. Sidenote what did u make of the patrick relationship? Personally the celestial light thing was cringe🙄(in the book he acc does hav a gf who's at the party when they kiss lmao messy) I cant acc fathom how she would take him srsly I do love a ice queen x himbo/golden retriever x black cat trope but it's not giving. From cameron pov I see his words of affirmation & willingness to fight for her being endearing-smthn shes not really had before. But again I cant see it lasting. Also tho declan is obvs the better parent both he & Maud are selfish parents (him more unintentionally) putting his career first so taggies had to grow up fast. The angst potential of declan putting his sons feelings first before his own dreams- didnt taggie say smthn about how ruthless he can be when he wants something? Ahh this is so messy I love it. I sooo need them to be a slowish burn they have such potential. Sorry to just leave this word vomit in ur inbox they got me bad- the idea of the book crumbs being in s2 has me shaking crying throwing up!! Enjoy the rest of ur day boo♡
Anon, this just made me so happy. Sometimes I don't know if I'm crazy in some of the people I ship and now that you've said all this, I'm definitely going to read the book. I didn't know that the book also hinted at their chemistry.....I'm so excited 😁
Imagine the angst we would get if they go that route with them. It's going to be so messy and complicated and I'll be seated for all of it 😄
They definitely have the potential to be a slow burn.
Honestly, when it comes to Patrick, I'm with you. I'm not entirely opposed to them but I'm not obsessed like I am with her and Declan. I don't know if Patrick challenges her (in a good way) like it would be with Declan. He kinda mellows her down. But I do see how it can be endearing like you said.
I was thinking that she might try to go to Rupert about the Tony situation at first but because he was rather preoccupied with Taggie in the kitchen, somehow she ends up going to Declan?
Idk but there's so much potential with those two.
Now I'm just waiting on the season 2 announcement 😭
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First Day - Me or Him
title: first day
series: me or him
pairing: yoongi x reader(f), namjoon x reader(f)
genre: love triangle ; rating m (18+)
summary: as you and your best friend start the first day of senior year you realize you have no classes together. you don't like people and stray away until someone catches your eye in class, not only that but you're assigned to sit next to each other. this is not how you wanted to kick off the first day of school… will feelings bloom? does your bestfriend approve?
note: hiiii this is my first fanfic so im really nervous lol. i decided on a series because as i was writing my mind was RACINGGG lmao i had so many ideas and didnt want it to be forever long. so i hope youll stay along for the ride. please let me know how you like it! im trying to work on my writing skills so any tips are appreciated :) as for the fic its gonna be spicy but itll be a slow burn so dont get your hopes up lol i want to give you a good taste of the characters before jumping in. i wanted to keep this chapter pretty short to begin so we can leave off with a little cliff hanger SORRY itll be worth it i promise! im also new to the tumblr writing scene and still figuring out the controls AGAIN tips appreciated! thank you <3
warnings: none YET
estimated total wc: 1.6k
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Your alarm is much louder than you're used to. Not that it matters, you had woken up a whole two hours before it went off.
It’s the first day of your senior year, you can hardly keep your smoothie down due to the rumbling pit of nervousness in your stomach. As you are pacing the room waiting for your brother to come bursting through the door you get a phone call. It's Namjoon, your best friend since middle school and suddenly you feel a little better about how the rest of your day is going to go knowing he’ll be right by your side.
“You ready? I'll be there in five.”
“As ready as I'll ever be Joonie.” You say with a smirk and major sarcasm wondering how you landed a friend so opposite from you.
“Perk up, it's our senior year… what could go wrong.”
“Yeah, yeah whatever see you soon.” Hanging up the phone quickly you grab your bag and run down stairs. You practically plowed through your brother as he was running up to make sure you were ready.
He’s pissed you can just tell by the way his eyes bolt directly to yours.
“Are you fucking kidding me, I had the courtesy of coming to get you and you repay me by messing up my hair.” His words come out like an avalanche as he immediately runs to fix what you supposedly messed up, yet it doesn't look like one strand fell out of place.
“Tae maybe instead of worrying about your appearance so much you can put more effort into school this year.” You scream through the house.
Your brother is a year below you and a complete douche. It comes across your mind more than ever how the two of you can be related. He's the king of his class, making new friends every day while you have had one friend for the entirety of the time you've been in this city. You’ve never really had the want or need to have anyone else than Joon, and you’re glad you havent had to share since he’s never kept another friend besides his gaming buddies.
Joon finally arrives at your driveway. As you're walking out the door you remind yourself there's only one more year of this hell you've been going through for the past three years. You atleast need to get through today, leave your worries for tomorrow and do your best.
The car ride to school lifts your spirits as you listen to Joon gawk about all the clubs he wants to enter and all the classes he signed himself up for. You’re happy for him but not at all what you are thinking about at the moment. Playing your favorite tunes through his amped speakers you reflect on the amazing summer you had and wish that it never had to end.
Gathering your things you and Joon walk up to the bulletin board to check what classes you got put into. Just as your morning got better all the nervousness you had earlier hits you like a truck. You don't have a single class together with him, which in the five years of knowing each other has never happened.
Immediately you both turn your heads in shock. You knew one day this would happen but why the first semester of your last year. You're sweating bullets not knowing how you'll get through today without him.
Trying to make you feel better, Joon offers to switch a class in hopes the teacher would approve.
“It’s alright Joonie, you already said how excited you were for the classes you picked and you got into all of them. I’ll manage somehow.” As soon as you say it you regret it. He would definitely switch if you had just agreed but you don't want to hold him back.
“Well we still have lunch together so just keep your cool till then.” His smile is the nausea pill you wish you had.
He wraps you up in a hug, letting you know everything will be alright. Once separated from the embrace you needed you make your way to your first class of the day.
The bell rings and students come piling in to take their seats before the teacher starts going over the plans for the semester. Writing everything in your notebook to keep your mind off this lonely day that has just started.
It’s not that you don't like school, you actually very much enjoy it and have always kept good grades. You’re just horrible at conversation and not much of a people person to begin with.
Joon and you had been paired together for a project way back when, which is how you and him ended up being friends. He is a very straightforward person so making conversation with him was never an issue, and you actually had quite a bit in common. He could clearly tell you were shy so to say the least he started most of the talk between you two. Once the project had been turned in everyone had returned back to their chosen seating to sit with their friends and you were surprised to see that he chose to continue sitting by you. Since that day you had been inseparable.
Lunch is finally here. Classes fled by quick since it was mostly introductions and receiving your sylbasses. Your backpack feeling like a brick from the textbooks you gathered you make your way to the cafeteria. You quickly find Joon and walk up to the line to get food.
“So how’d it go? Make any friends?” Joon snickers as he says the last part, knowing you all too well.
“Oh yeah I actually already have a new best friend so I guess i'll go sit with them.” Turning your head pretending to look for someone as Joon lets out a laugh. You spin around to smack his arm knowing he saw right through your mockery.
“As much as I would hate to be replaced, it wouldn't kill you to make a friend or atleast find someone else to talk to.” Nudging your shoulder as he says the words.
“I’m good with my small circle, thanks”
You both go back and forth with how the day has gone so far. He couldn't go on enough about how happy he is with his classes, which makes you forget the regret you had earlier about his offer.
The lunch bell goes off so you both clear your trays and head out to the hallways. Study hall is next for you so the nerves have suppressed as you know you can put your earbuds in and tune out the class. Joon gives you a wink and lets you know to meet back at his car when the day is over.
Heading to your locker to put the stack of textbooks you received away you get a text.
JoonieBug🪲🤍
Fighting❤️
Whatever loser❤️
You giggle as you put your phone back in your pocket and head to your class.
“Hello class, I hope your first day of senior year has been great! As you all know, study hall is your hour window to get caught up with your work or take a breather and relax before heading to the rest of your classes.” The teacher says much too loud for your liking. “I have put a seating chart together in hopes everyone can meet some fresh new faces. Please follow this chart as it is part of your participation grade.”
Great.
The last thing you wanted was to meet ‘fresh new faces’.
You grab your assigned seat and whip out your airpods in hopes that the person who's placed next to you takes the hint and stays to themself. Though to your surprise the bell had rung and the seat next to you was still vacant.
As you get out your syllabi to scan and send to your mother you hear commotion at the front of the class. You take out an airpod to see what is going on and you're taken aback when you see a boy with bleached blonde hair rolling his eyes as the teacher is complaining to him about being late. You don't know why but there are butterflies in your stomach as you look at him. Retracting your gaze he turns to meet your eyes. and the butterflies only get worse as you see him heading to the seat next to you.
He throws himself down in the seat and you can feel the heat in your cheeks rising. You don't know why your body is reacting this way.
In all of your other classes you had gotten a seat to yourself luckily but that wasn't the case here.
Hoping he doesn't notice your face looking like a cherry, you press play on your phone and get back to sending the photos to your mom.
“From the way you look you either really didn't want someone sitting here or you must be absolutely enthralled that I’m the person to sit here.”
You barely make out the words as you throw your head around to look at the all too cocky boy taking up the seat next to you.
“I-I don't know what youre talking about.” Turning away with a flushed face. Your mind racing wondering why he would even spout out those words.
“Yoongi”
“What?”
“My name silly, I’m Yoongi.”
“Oh okay”
The smirk on his face is absolutely annoying. You want to slap it right off his face.
“So do I get to know your name?” The smirk slowly turns into a grin as his eyebrow cocks up.
“Alright class, enjoy the rest of your day, I’ll see those bright faces tomorrow.” Your teacher says as the class ending bell goes off.
You have never gathered your things into your bag with such haste. Not realizing you left your notebook on the desk you throw the bag over your shoulder as you dart out the door to get anywhere but that classroom.
#bts fanfic#bts smut#bts yoongi#min yoongi#yoongi x reader#namjoon x reader#fanfic#fan fiction#yoongi smut#namjoon smut#faeswrites#yoongi fanfic#namjoon fanfic#meorhim
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havent been very active on tumblr, for no reason in particular. anyways, as a risk of rain fan, i must clarify my opinions on the SOTS release
i think we can all agree on "the dlc is great content"
but anyways, its clear to me that the devs are people who care and are passionate about ROR as a series and about keeping ror2 going as well. i mean, hopoo and ghor have said as much! and their community manager seems nice i really dont blame the actual DLC team, because like. its always rude to just point fingers at the people who are just doin' darn good work. point fingers at the executive decision makers i think uh, the unification of console and pc code is... well, ill miss the old codebase, but honestly? the fact they've rewritten the games code from the ground up basically... tells me that they're in it for the long-ish haul. that they dont want to just drop ror2. they want to make their own basis that they can cleanly work on and continue this game into its second life of sorts i guess its like a soft reset of development - everythings jank like early access now. but itll get better is the current ror team the best at making decisions for the game? maybe not, but i really dont think they're malicious
its funny though, because the 2 things i was worried about was "oh gearbox is totally gonna mess up the lore with weird inconsistencies and it wont feel right, and they'll add powercreep" but honestly. imma be real, knowing some stuff ghor has said about his intentions behind the lore (shoutouts to Ghor btw, hes done so much for both the lore and the... well, the creation and foundation of risk of rain 2s codebase as a whole. the more i look into ghor, the more i realize he truly is mr ror2) anyways knowing his intentions with certain things, i can say... the Anniversary Update and SOTV actually messed up lore more than SOTS has, lol. the lores well done in SOTV. the non-lore-important logs kinda suck though, they're clearly unfinished. but i think... what they lacked was Time. Time, to complete the clean unification of code ... and for general polish. so i say we give them what randy pitchfork didnt. lets give them time, aight? im not super happy with the idea of a ror2: bedrock edition future, but... i think if the right balancing tweaks are done, then things can look pretty bright. and they do seem to want to listen to the community (though i doubt randy pitchfork wants them to. heck CEOs)
and as for powercreep? lmao we got the opposite, the items are almost too underpowered.
AS for the dlc content, i think seeker is goated. really fun character to play. chef is... undercooked tbh, jank m1. still havent gotten the third survivor, though i know who it is, and seems pretty well done minus the lack of visual and audio feedback / game-feel i think the stages are fantastic, the music is as always banger, and honestly the items are like. really CLOSE to being interesting. like noxious thorn? a green item that plays with debuffs? very cool. but why is it "on taking damage" and. i dunno, instead of adding more stacks of debuffs, i'd make it spread those debuffs to more enemies! knockback fin should be turned into a void of stun grenade if you have both DLCs on, tbh. so yeah, im. cautiously optimistic for the future. dont fall for all of the doomerisms that the youtubers are trying to spread - they're doing that to apply pressure to gearbox, mostly. which is fair, but its also fearmongering kinda. and like actual devs dont seem too concerned for the games future im just hoping that everyone who has been involved with ror2... has a good future. i dont want gearbox to just cut off the ror2 team, and i hope ghor can find whatever he needs
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oh my gosh, June!! I took a break off of social media and phone in general and came back to all of this 😭
No but frl what the sigma I hope your mom’s recovery is a speedy and smooth process bcs that’s so crazy honestly
I hope you’re doing well too, with everything going on, it seems like your life is rlly chaotic rn lol, just know you have a whole ass community behind you willing to give words of comfort or anything else that can help!!
LMAO, what the sigma indeed 😭 i feel like a curse hit me/my family, like wtf. life was bad but then it got even worse lol. she's recovering well! so thats really, really good.
im doing okay, thank you! not getting enough sleep, but im gonna talk with my doctor about it soon, hopefully i can get melatonin or something (you have to get a prescription for it in my country lol). life has been really chaotic, more than ever before, but im so glad that you and a lot of other people are being supportive and understanding, it truly means the world to me! <3
i hope i can start doing bots again soon, but i probably wont be doing any big drops like i used to, maybe a few bots a week, but itll be better than nothing, i suppose! i also might do my own ideas first, instead of requests, as i have a lot and its kinda stressful </3 idk, i feel kinda bad when i think about it lol.
anyway, sorry for ranting! i hope youre doing well <33
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pro-tip from someone who has had stretches pf insomnia like this since high school: (bc your posts makes it sound like a new development and like youre scared, so i want to help. sorry this unsolicited)
but literally?? fake it
fake sleeping. youre going to lie down, close your eyes, shift when youre uncomfortable, but keep your eyes closed and stay laying down. try to keep your mind as blank as possible, thats really hard for me specifically, so i legit will listen to videos or podcasts or music or ocean-waves as i fake-sleep (bonus, i found something that works for me 60, 70% of the time are those ASMR roleplay videos where it'll be like "your boyfriend/girlfriend talks to you while you sleep" or "you get confessed to while youre asleep" or literally anything where i have to "roleplay" being asleep?? weirdly? flips a switch and ill be KOed before the video ends. what the fuck. but thats niche as hell, idk if itll work for you, but it is an "experiment! you never know" encouragement)
and youre going to want to fake-sleep as best as you can, even if youre actually awake the whole 8+ hours, because it legit tricks your brain into thinking youre asleep enough that it gives you those chemicals you need from sleeping that help regenerate your energy and whatnot. like scientists found this works really well, insomniacs who did this instead of their phone or tasks or reading, even if they rarely fell asleep while fake-sleeping, not only recorded feeling a lot better than the control group who was not given this order to sleep like this, but also had more balanced chemical stuff. i like to akin ir to a cell-phone charge. youre not going to get the 100% you would from actually sleeping, but going from a 20% to a 65% is still p huge and very helpful. before i was told this tip, i literally would meditate to recoup; and shockingly meditation releases those same chemicals so like. i was already doing it. just. sitting up instead of laying down lol
also, please do talk to a doctor about getting a sleep study done or something if you have the insurance to afford it. but this is a tip you can do in the meantime in addition to other experimentations thatll help you out. youll still feel exhausted (esp if you cant quiet your brain. my AuDHD mind shuts the fuck when other people speak, so the audio-roleplay and podcast and video-essay people have been god-sends), you won't be that 100% refresh as i already said, but it also wont be AS compounded of an exhaustion which is so helpful when your metaphorical battery is just going down and down and down— to have SOMETHING charge it even a bit or just stall it. i dont want you to think this is a "youll feel back to normal!" cure-all; it truly is the epitome of a "well, thatll help it not get WORSE at any rate, and maybe a bit better" type of rhetoric
for now, i would recommend doing a fake-nap, pick x-amount of hours that feels most comfortable to you (my pick is usually 3 or 4, but my lil sister found she prefers 2 hour long fake-naps and my other lil sister just goes "fuck it, no fake-nap, only fake-sleep; im doing 8+ hours" lmao), see if it at least takes the edge off
i have said a lot of "temper your expectations" type of stuff but i will also say this: at one point, this tip literally saved my life. because i spent 2.5 months running on a total of 4 to 6 hours of legit-sleep per week or per week-and-a-half throughout. and that kinda shit, i belatedly found out, should mean i should be dead. but i was fake-sleeping at least 5 hours a night. and my family's doctor went "uhhhhh thank god i showed your mom that study i guess, omfg". so like. i swear it helps. just. ALSO temper your expectations on how much it helps lol
if this is unsolicited and feels unwarranted, i apologize. im not good at reading tone in text, and just wanted to help. i hope this does help you out, you got this, i believe in you!!
Hey no worries, I appreciate you taking the time to type all this out. Recently (like, within the past one to two years or so) I’ve been more prone to bouts of restlessness and the fake sleeping is actually something I practice and it does help me most of the time. I think right now it’s more of a stress induced sort of thing more than anything that’s led to me having more trouble. Might just be one of those things I gotta wait out to be honest. When I do have a moment where I can’t sleep right it doesn’t last more than a few days normally so I don’t imagine this being different I hope. Maybe seeing a doctor would help but I’ll be honest there’s a probably a few things I should be seeing a doctor about and I just don’t have the money for that lol. But still like I said I appreciate you taking the time to try and help me out and offer some advice that’s very kind of you 🫶
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hsr 2.1 kit leaks
ok idk how but even w the preliminary aventurine kit leaks i didnt register before seeing a comment on how he would actually just shred in herta+himeko FUA teams for PF too and im just? obsessed actually i Love this
like PF is already in that weird place where sustains are kinda good still but kinda useless but aventurine being an actual FUA sub dps in addition to his shielding is just? so fucking good and will go so well with the never ending follow up after follow up death spiral that himeko and herta inherently bring to PF it should be a massacre 💀💀 i cant wait
anyway his kit looks sick i rly love how its designed. ACTUAL sub dps potential in a sustain finally 😭😭 and how much crit rate (40%) he gets just from reaching 3600 def is just? so delicious. obviously the fact that he will want crit, def, spd and possibly eff res too means you kinda need to invest hard into his build to rly get the most out of him but i love that blonde fucker so. yeah ill commit. i farmed my ass off for my fu xuan to be as stacked as she is i Will do it again 🫡🫡
the eff res hes giving to the team is actually massive too ?? CC immunity to himself when his passive effect is up? shields on skill no ult dependency and shield stacking on teammates being attacked and FUAs (and like. hes not dependent on FUA teams lmao its just going to boost him) just like that???
AND hes fast as fuck somehow like what 😭😭😭😭 bro looks stacked as hell i hope he stays strong. aventurine with that 106 speed rly out there running from the consequences of his antics 🏃♂️🏃♂️🏃♂️💀
anyway wow im hype for this bastard i Cannot wait for his animations
as for acheron im. somewhat interested? but not like too pressed abt it for now. her stacking mechanic seems interesting and ive already seen the asset leaks for her red ultimate state (which is like 700% better than her base design) but if you only see that design for a v short time idk how much itll motivate me to get her.
the lack of LC options definitely hurts like. all i realistically have for her is s3 GNSW but thats on kafka rn. ig if i got acheron i prolly wouldnt be running them at the same time but its still food for thought ig
also she really copied neuvillettes homework for that nihility team passive HSJSJSKSKF idk how i feel abt it like w our current cast it kinda feels pretty tricky to genuinely get a strong team going for an actual max stack team for acheron. like run her with pela and what? guinaifen? ig we will see what shes all abt
ig i just dont feel as much of an incentive for a lightning dps for now w kafka but eh i might go for acheron still. i do have a guarantee tho so it might be nice to save it for aventurine straight up bc then i could maybe go for his LC since it gets him even more sub dps potential but who knows
ig only gripe w aventurine (which isnt that big of deal rly) is the current lack of FUA charas like idm building ratio eventually even having daniel (and them having such heavy synergy is very funny. renheng could never 💀) n i could see myself maybe getting topaz even if im not a huge fan of her character (tho i do think shes well written; my mixed feelings r a result of her being complex) but idk. i hope we get more leaks for upcoming FUA charas.
obviously theres xueyi but her FUAs arent That frequent and unironically i wouldnt Want someone like aventurine w his likely frequent FUAs on her team eating away the toughness bar from her so itd only really work against enemies who are quantum weak but not imaginary. but worth thinking abt still. at least herta n himeko will be a guaranteed PF synergy for him so thats hype
and most important of all: def mainstat with double crit we are so back. relics with double crit that half rolled into def we are so back. etc etc etc
#also i just rly fuckinf hope aventurines hat n glasses are a part of his model i s2g he looks so naked without them 😭😭😭#maybe make them toggleable or sth but also they didnt make jinglius so...#rambles#hsr#hsr leaks /
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oh nooooo i tripped and fell for u into ur ask box
eating ny ice cream rn ;; strawberry is such a weird flavour like if i had to choose and get one i would not get strawberry but if irs rhere at home im finishinf ALL of it
ALSO, DRAWING ON PEOPLE'S HANDS 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️
anyways about the iwa smau!!! genuinely have no motivation rn #tweaks BUT i would like to say that the yn is shamelessly based off me like i have consumed acrylic paint on multiple occasions (today) (with ice cream)
ILYT!!!!! IM WRITING THIS RN SO I CANT RESPOND (CRIES)
lost a mark in my chem test today im tweaking
BUT THE FREAKY ENGLISH TEACHER SAID IM ON THE RIGHT TRACK AND DOING GOOD AND AN ATTENTIVE STUDENT AND LIKR????????? ERMMMM SHES INSANE BUT FHE ACADEMIC VALIDATION GOES SOOO HARD
also like lowkey icl i was hanging around ur blog again rn and thats why i decided to send an ask !! ur blog is so pretty rrrrr
I ALSO BASICALLY JUST PEAKED IN HS CUZ THE LIBRARIAN RECOGNISED ME AND GAVE ME A BOOK RECOMMENDATION AND LET ME TAKE IT EVEN THOUGH IT DIDN'T HAVE THE PROPER STUFF TO BE FILED AS BORROWED (like each book has a code and this one didnt and she STILL gave it to me) SO LIKE BASICALLY SHE TRUSTS ME BC IVE BEEN OVER HERE FOR LIKE A YESR AT LEADT TAKING A BOOK THEN COMING BACK 1-2 DAYS LATER CUZ I FINISHED IT LOLOLS
also about OUR iwa fic i was js thinking like,, fake dating this dumbass b word ushiwaka and hes like ?? why me ??? "ur names rhyme kind of" ?? wth ??
lowkey think im immune to anything thats in acrylic paint now bc i have Eaten So Much Of It
anyways the book is lowkey good i havent finished it YET but irs called the girl on the train and like woahhhhhh smth like that at our super conservative school is iNsane
i hope u feel better soon!!! if u dont ill fly over and idk. magic
i have a maths test tmr rjejsjskssk the topic is fun but I Don't Know what if i Fail
OSHIT I WAS SUPPOSED TO LOCK IN AND DO HW OOPS ERM HRU TELL ME AB UR DAY ETC ETC and also any sav x yaku tidbits youd like to drop <- forgot the ship name AND AND AND THE ANONS THINF IS SO REAK KMFG
ok byebye ily xx
ah thats a shame 😞😞 hope your knee or whatever u banged on the way in heals up well lina 😞
yum yum yum ice cream!! i hope ur enjoying it!! also thats so real i feel like strawberry ice cream is just an odd flavor... but true that i always eat the strawberry ice cream in the freezer just to spite my other roommate (with love!!!) LMAO
also real 🙂↕️🙂↕️ i adore when people draw on me or let me draw on them it js makes me so happy <3
DONT FEEL PRESSURED TO WORK ON IT!! BE SPORADIC!! DO IT WHENEVER YOU GET IDEAS!!! WE WILL STICK AROUND TO READ WHENEVER U DECIDE TO WRITE
NOOO NOT THE CHEM TEST IM SORRY LINA :((( ITLL ALL WORK OUT THO
NOT THE ENGLISH TEACHER. IM SORRY SHES MY OPP FROM WHAT IVE HEARD ABOUT HER SHES FREAKY I FEAR. BUT FOR THE ACADEMIC VALIDATION I SUPPOSE I GET IT...
HELP i didnt ever realize how much time you spent on my blog like genuinely 😭 BUT THANK YOU SM!! im super proud of this theme even tho its not the most intricate <3
WOOOW THE LIBRARIAN RECOGNIZED YOU AND TRUSTED YOU W AN UNFILED BOOK??? i aspire to be you but i never step foot into my school library i much prefer my public library... there's sm more books that i read there!!! BUT THATS GENUINELY SO COOL WTF
bro that fic will genuinely be so funny 😭 like the quote we were yapping ab earlier "ushijima?? the hell?? you don't even go to the same school as him?? 😨" iwa would be more confused than anything at first AND I THINK THATS HILARIOUS!! and pls ushijima just AGREEING hes a closeted himbo i swear i swear i swear
alina im genuinely concerned over the fact that you CONSUME acrylic paint? but whatever? i guess? please dont eat too much that's definitely not meant to be consumed 🧍♀️
im gonna add that book to my tbr list!! i read the synopsis and it sounds pretty good tbh
THANK YOU!! my roomie is taking care of me so i'll probably be fine within the next few days 🙂↕️
AND GOOD LUCK!! im sure you'll do amazing dont even play w me rn alina YOU WILL DO SO SO SO WELL YOU LITTLE MATH NERD (affectionate)
OH YEAH GO DO HOMEWORK WTF 😭 IM GOOD! I FEEL BETTER TODAY <3 IVE BEEN IN BED SINCE I WOKE UP SO THERE ISNT MUCH TO TELL YOU ABOUT BUT UHHHH LAST NIGHT I WATCHED HOWLS MOVING CASTLE WITH MY ROOMMATE!! SAV X YAKU IS SAVORI!!! COURTESY OF BAKERY ANON MY LOVE 🙂↕️🙂↕️ UMM I DONT HAVE TIDBITS RN BUT ILL DM YOU WITH RANDOM ONES SOMETIME DURING THE DAY TRUST!!
bye bye!! ily ily <3
#asks!!#alina ily alina#my platonic soulmate literally written in the stars honeypie loml sugarplum!!
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GOOD MORNING 🗣️🗣️ i know its like 6 something am but we're gonna ignore that bc i physically cannot fall back asleep (curse insomnia)!! make sure you eat enough today and drink water! idk when you're gonna answer this ask but im assuming at nighttime like usual so dont forget to take your meds 🙂↕️
omg recently ive been having matcha a concerning amount like i went to an asian store like a WEEK ago and now like every day im making something with it... it's probably fine though?? i wasnt even a big matcha enthusiast before but i remembered seeing a post from you and literally all it said was matcha break and i was like "hm! that sounds pretty good tbh now i want matcha." so here i am, after buying matcha. addiction isn't pretty/j
ANYWAY when i was trying to fall asleep i randomly remembered when u put up a shelf and accidentally messed up a tag on your post about it😭 i think it said something like "if you're rintarou suna i don't care" and when i read it i was like oo that's not! and then u reblogged it with the correction BUT APPARENTLY IM THE EXCEPTION ‼️ i think we got married under that post LMAOAOAO so i remembered all of that when i was trying to fall asleep and then i js started laughing it was so stupid omg,, pushed back my sleeping like 15 minutes but it was worth it bc it was funny
SO ITS MY FIRST DAY BACK TO SCHOOL TODAY OH MY GOSH 😨 itll probably fine im just dramatic but theres sm people i do NOT wanna see. like keep them far away from me or ill flip my shit type of not wanna see 🥰 so thats always fun yk! we're in this together now ness 🙂↕️
HAVE A GOOD DAY!! <333
HELLO HELLO SAV!!! i'm sorry for how long it took me to answer your ask </33 PLEASE MAKE SURE TO EAT AND DRINK AND TAKE YOUR MEDS AS WELL!! THANK YOU SO MUCH LOVE <3
matcha addictions are really not pretty LMAO for my wallet or anything else but honestly i love it!! and i'm so happy to have converted you!!! they're super super good i actually love that their bitter and honestly i will drink any matcha no matter if it's sweet or unsweetened 😭😭 my addiction is so bad that i even drink like two a day usually but at least....it's energizing...!!!!! so i hope you're enjoying your matchas <33
AND LMAO THE WAY I BURST OUT LAUGHING ABOUT THAT STORY YOU WERE REMEMBERING 😭😭😭 I'M GLAD TO HAVE MADE YOU LAUGH BC THAT WAS NOT A PRETTY MOMENT WE DEF GOT MARRIED UNDER THAT POST!! <33333 but i went back to like read my post twirling my hairs like "omg i love suna so much 🥰" and then reread the post like "OMG HOLD ON WAIT I SAID I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT HIM </3" but he knows i meant well 😔😔 and i corrected it in the end!!
AND I TOTALLY GET IT YOU'RE NOT DRAMATIC AT ALL!! THAT'S HOW I FEEL LIKE 24/7 LIKE YES I'VE BEEN BACK IN SCHOOL FOR A WEEK and still everyday i wake up like "man i am not looking forward to seeing these people today" like they never get better </3 in fact, they get worse 💀 I HOPE YOU HAD A GREAT DAY!!! AND LUCKILY IT'S FRIDAY SO I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND AS WELL!! AND GET TO REST A LITTLE BEFORE THIS NEXT WEEK STARTS </3
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boop boop boop!!! how's your head doing, aggie??? i hope it's healing up well!!!
pat pat pat,, get well soon!! rooting for you in my corner (≧▽≦)ヽ(>∀<☆)ノ!!!!
woo!! yeah!! go aggie!! yippee!! YEAH!! YEAH!!! WOOOO!!!!
everything hurt... like yeowch falling multiple times while skiing hurts man
my head still hurt but i took some pain medicine for it, and my speech is still slow and kinda wonky but its better than yesterday!.. i think
staying bedridden sucks, but im trying to get better
but what sucks the most is not being allowed much screen time... im so bored lmao
i do NOT recommend concussions... highly painful. ouch.
but on the bright side... completely excused from school. and uhm, my parents are kinda really pissed because apparently it was the school liability for it? like they didnt give us helmets or supervise all of us while skiing. :(
oh well. itll hopefully heal soon, wasn't too major
also my cats been keeping me company lmao (under the cut incase y'all don't wanna hear my crappy voice lmao)
holy shit why is my voice like that... i didn't realize my talking was THAT bad lmao
also the skin tone stuff could also be the foot of leonardo. i have my 2012 TMNT plushies as emotional support rn
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