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agerefandomrambles · 2 months ago
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Title: Domino Effect
Word count: 1648
Little: Bob, Rooster, Phoenix, Hangman, Payback, Fanboy, Coyote
Cg! Maverick, Iceman, Penny, Slider
Warnings: involuntary regression, obligatory military warnings
Plot: Bob regresses during a meeting and sets off a domino effect, leaving Mav, Ice, slider, and Penny to watch 7 little ones
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"Bob! Jesus christ, talk to me!" Phoenix screeches as the plane rolls to the side, Mavericks plane barely missing them as it zips past.
"Sorry! He's already coming around 'Nix, you gotta go up" Bob replies, snapping out of the daze he was in and trying so hard to focus on the enemy plane that he doesn't realise he used his nickname for Phoenix.
Phoenix just frowns softly and files that bit of information away for later, focusing on pulling the plane up and into the sky in an effort to escape Maverick.
It doesn't work of course, and Maverick ends up shooting them down only 2 minutes later.
"Copy kill" Phoenix sighs, pulling the plane down to land.
They land the plane quickly and the next team goes up. Bob starts to walk back to the lecture room but Phoenix places a hand on his shoulder, gently stopping him.
"Bobby... what's going on?" She asks softly, her eyes full of concern for her WSO
"I'm fine Phoenix. I'm just a bit spacey today that's all" He reassures her. He shrugs off her hand and starts walking towards the lecture room.
She frowns but follows him silently. She can't force him to admit what's wrong, so she settles for staying close to him so she can catch him when he does inevitably end up slipping.
The pair walk into the lecture room. Bob sits down and pulls out his lunch box, nibbling on a sandwich he packed. Phoenix walks over to Rooster, gently pulling him over to a corner where no one can hear them.
"Roo. I'm worried about Bob. He's on the verge of slipping and to be honest, so am I. I don't know what to do."
"Oh. Uhhh... how close is he to slipping? How close are you to slipping?" Rooster stammers.
"I don't know. He's spacey and he called me 'Nix and he just seems out of it" Phoenix sighs, her eyes darting over to Bob, whos still sitting in his seat and eating a sandwich while staring at the wall.
"OK, well Maverick only had 2 more flights left. One with Hangman and the other with Coyote. We can watch him until Mav gets back." Roosters says, injecting some confidence into his words.
Together the two walk up to the boy. "Bob? It's Roo, you ok?" Rooster asks softly, squatting down to his level.
Bob's eyes move from the wall to Rooster slowly and he gives Rooster an absent smile. "Hi Roo," he says in that certain soft voice.
"Hi Buddy. Are you feeling small?" Phoenix asks Bob, smiling at him gently. Bob pauses for a moment, his brows furrowing as he thinks but he nods, his cheeks turning a soft pink.
"Awe it's alright Bubba. Big brother Roo's got ya" Rooster coos. He sits down next to Bob and pulls out his own lunch. The two eat together while Rooster talks and asks Bob yes or no questions that he can nod or shake his head to.
Phoenix wanders off, finding herself sitting next to Payback and Fanboy as they heatedly debate some topic that's far too big for her to comprehend at that moment.
She must have spaced out because next thing she knows, there's a soft tap on her arm to get her attention.
She turns around, eyes focusing from where she had been just staring at the wall. She has to hold back a groan though when she sees Bob standing next to her, holding Roosters hand while Rooster is looking down at the floor, tears in his eyes.
"Hi 'Nix. Roo slipped and he's littler then me." Bob says, his eyes wide as he gazes up at Phoenix.
Phoenix opens her mouth to say something but to her surprise (and everyone else's), a loud sob bursts out of her mouth.
As soon as she's started, she can't stop. She sinks off the bar stool and onto the floor, sobbing into her hands as her hold on her headspace breaks and all of a sudden she's just a little kid expected to watch two other babies.
The whole bar just watches in shock for a moment, and it's Coyote moving that snaps everyone out of their daze.
Coyote immediately moves to her side and crouches down next to her in an effort to both comfort her and shield her from the rest of the bargoers. In the same movement, Fanboy and Payback launch forward and gather up Rooster and Bob, herding the two littles into the booth that they had grabbed in the hopes of keeping them from crying too. Penny busies herself with ringing the bell to grab everyone's attention.
"Anyone that isn't a part of the current Top Gun class needs to get out of my bar right now" She shouts, ushering everyone out in a matter of minutes.
That's the sight that Maverick and Hangman walk into. A rapidly slipping Coyote trying to comfort a distraught Phoenix who is sobbing on the floor, Fanboy doing his best to entertain a regressed Rooster (who is pouting and trying to eat floor chips), Payback (who is playing with Bob's glasses) and Bob (whos fast asleep on the table) and Penny trying to get everyone else out of the bar.
The pair just kinda stand in the entryway for a second, then Hangman scurries away from Maverick's side and joins the littles in the booth, also having slipped the second he walked into the bar.
Maverick lets out a long-suffering sigh, then whistles to get everyone's attention. The entire bar instantly goes silent as everyone freezes and looks up at him.
"Who here can honestly say that they are fully big right now?" He asks, his head sweeping the group of 8. Penny hesitantly raises her hand and everyone else stares at the floor.
"Seriously? 7 flips and every single one of you slipped?" Maverick groans, already pulling his phone out to call for backup. He speaks quietly into the phone before quickly hanging up.
"Alright, us adults are outnumbered so headcount Kiddos" Mav says not unkindly. The 7 littles immediately number off with Rooster being number 1 and Phoenix being number 7.
"Cool, we've got everyone here. Ok, how little are we talking?" Maverick asks, moving to join Penny while his mind is racing and planning.
Fanboy is the first to speak up after a few moments of unsure silence. "I'm around 10". Phoenix is next, Coyote having carried her over to the booth after she'd calmed down a little. "I'm 5!" she giggles. "I'm 2" Payback whispers, hiding his face in her neck. Bob pipes up with "I'm 4ish?" Coyote hesitates a second, not wanting to butt out before muttering, "I'm 8". Hangman immediately hi-fives him, saying, "Same bro". Rooster doesn't say anything, just staring around with wide eyes, clearly far too little for words at the moment.
Maverick sighs for what feels like the millionth time, turning to Penny when he realises almost everyone is on the lower edge of their age ranges. "Can you make up 4 bottles for me?" He asks her quietly. When she nods, he turns back to the pack of littles slotted into the booth. "Fanboy, Coyote and Hangman, you feel up for some fries and water?"
The three oldest kids nod, chambering out of the booth and jostling to the counter where Penny has already put a basket of chips and 3 (plastic) glasses of water.
Penny and Mav walk over to the booth with 2 bottles each and a calm settles over the group as everyone eats and the older kids and caregivers chatter quietly.
After 5 minutes, Ice and Slider walk in. Slider walks right in and takes a seat next to the 3 unattended boys, stealing a chip and chattering quietly to them.
Ice walks quietly over to Maverick and Penny, taking note of the fact that Bob is fast asleep against Penny and Rooster is asleep in Mavericks arms. "What happened?" Ice asks, amusement clear in his face.
"Bob regressed and set off a domino effect. Unfortunately, they all regressed and they all regressed to the younger end of their age ranges." Maverick sighs, careful to keep his voice low and not wake the baby in his arms.
"Can you help us get the kids back to our house? We can have a sleepover sort of situation. Penny already agreed to help watch them and I think you'd have to fight slider to get him to miss you" He adds.
Ice agrees and takes Phoenix and Packback in his arms, the 2 toddlers blinking slowly and sucking on their thumbs as they fight sleep. He places the 2 in his car and drives them to his and Mavericks house. Penny takes Bob because he's already asleep on her. He wakes up in the car but falls asleep again quickly. Maverick takes Rooster and Fanboy (he tried to take Coyote but he threw a fit at being separated from Hangman). Slider takes Hangman and Coyote, the two aging up slightly on the ride to around 12.
The 4 adults load the 7 kids out together and herd them into the house.
Hangman, Coyote, and Fanboy all start building a pillowfort for the sleep over immediately with Iceman supervising them. Bob and Rooster are laid down for a nap by Slider. Maverick and Penny make dinner with some help from Payback and Phoenix.
Within a half hour, everyone is fed and bundled up in the living room. Ice puts on Tangled and by the end of the movie, everyone is asleep in a tangle of limbs and blankets.
It might be the most chaotic babysitting he's ever had to do but looking down at his best friends, husband and adopted kids, comfortably asleep in his loving room, Maverick can't imagine a better way to spend a Saturday night
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dearaceofhearts · 8 months ago
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you walk out after an argument
characters: husk, alastor, angel dust, vox, lucifer word count: 2.9k genre: angst to fluff summary: after an argument with them, you walk out and don't come back for a few days. how do they react? author's note: hello yes this is my first time actually posting something. erm, i think i wrote too much (sorry) but hey we roll with it!! also dude i accidentally posted this before it was ready twice and i had a heart attack oh my god. anyways i don't think vox's is really fluff (oops) but everyone else's is
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♡ husk
when you slam the door shut on your way out, husk lets out a low grumble, setting down the glass he was cleaning onto the bar counter with a quiet sigh. it was one of the first arguments you'd had in a long time. although he wasn't usually one to get riled up so easily, the two of you knew each other well enough to know just what buttons to push to get under the other's skin. that, alongside him already having a bad day, had been a recipe for disaster.
in the few days that pass by, it's hard to tell just how affected he is by your absence since he does a pretty good job of keeping a cool facade. to anyone looking, he wouldn't appear any different than usual, just idly cleaning bottles as he always does.
but it's the small things that give away just how much husk cares and worries for you, like how his eyes flicker towards the door whenever someone comes in, his ears perking up slightly. he hates the twinge of disappointment that follows when it's not you, a slight scowl curling at his lips as he takes a swig of alcohol from one of the many bottles on the shelves of the bar. he misses talking to you. you're his favourite drinking buddy, after all.
his gaze always seems to wander back to the front door of the hotel, lingering for just a little too long before he eventually turns back to the bar, expression settling back into its usual grouchiness. but underneath that lies a hint of worry that gnaws at him in the back of his mind, even though he knows you're more than capable of handling yourself. at the end of the day, you can never be too careful in hell.
husk won't force you to come back, but he just wants to know that you're safe and sound. he trusts that you'll come back when you're ready so that the two of you can talk it over and hopefully resolve things. he doesn't want to leave it like this, and he's sure you don't either. you mean a lot more to him than he'd like to admit.
when you decide to finally return to the hotel, he pauses upon catching sight of you stepping through the doorway. he can't help the small wave of relief that washes over him, though you wouldn't be able to tell by the way he smoothly resumes restocking the bar. when you approach the counter, he looks up, giving you a short nod. "hey." he greets you, tone surprisingly softer than you're used to, "you're back."
husk's not really the type to beat around the bush, so he'd likely address the argument pretty quickly. he's also not particularly one for verbal apologies, so he'd probably be more willing to show it through his actions. you see it in the way he lets you cling to him a little longer than he normally does, leaning into him as he wordlessly holds you, his tail loosely curling around your leg. if you listen closely, you can hear some faint purring, too. it makes you smile slightly.
"alright, 'nuff of this sappy stuff." husk grumbles after a few more moments, patting your back gently before pulling back. "i'd kill for a drink right now. care to join me?" he raises a brow, a familiar glint in his eyes as he slides back behind the counter, already moving to make what he knows is your favourite drink.
you grin as you meet his eyes, expression softening. "of course. i'd love nothing more."
♡ alastor
"you're not listening, al." you murmur, exhaling quietly. this makes him pause for a moment, head tilted. your voice sounds different to what he's used to — you're not even angry, no — you just sound... tired. the argument had been going on for a while, and neither of you were getting through to the other.
when you move to leave, he makes no move to stop you, simply watching you with an intent gaze. his voice rings out clear as day in the empty silence. "where do you think you're going, my dear?"
he falters ever so slightly when you turn back to face him with a sturdy, stern gaze, responding with a flatly spoken "out", leaving no room for anything more to be said before closing the door behind you with a quiet click.
alastor won't chase after you, because he expects that you'll come back to him of your own accord. to him, it's basically guaranteed how this'll play out. he's used to demons falling right into his hands without having to exert much effort on his end, and believes that this would be no different.
so when a few days pass by with you not approaching him at all, he finds himself slightly irritated and mildly perplexed, eyes narrowed as his clawed finger taps against his cane with idle impatience. why haven't you sought him out yet?
he's seen you around the hotel, but you've never once acknowledged his presence even if the two of you were in the same room, breezing past him while he's left staring, watching you converse with everyone except him. his eye twitches in irritation, the perpetual smile on his lips strained.
...eventually, after playing a long waiting game to no avail, he decides that perhaps rosie would be able to offer some helpful advice on how to approach this situation, since he's not used to actually handling delicate emotional matters without the— well, the manipulation and deal-making.
one of the main issues is his massive ego. it's that unfaltering pride that gets in the way of him apologising. he may be the radio demon, but all that power can't help him here. and he'd never openly admit to such, but he truly is at somewhat of a loss here. he's already tried most things that he's sure would usually make you forgive him, though for a reason unbeknownst to him, it's not working this time.
"oh alastor," rosie shakes her head with a small huff, "a lady's heart is to be treated with care." she lends some further words of wisdom and encouragement that he listens to with great attentiveness, since he does (begrudgingly) enjoy your company, and it would be a shame if it was lost over such a, in his eyes, trivial matter.
upon his return to the hotel, he manages to get you to sit down with him (after much polite pestering and insistence) to have a chat over some tea. when all is said and done, the two of you sit in a comfortable silence. you sip your tea, watching the blazing fires of hell from the balcony.
"refill?" alastor offers, glancing at you briefly through a sip of his own tea.
"much appreciated." you hum, legs crossed as you throw him a small, slack smile.
♡ angel dust
his frustration slowly fizzles out as the door closes behind you, and the guilt slowly starts to creep in. he knows he shouldn't have said what he did, and he wants nothing more than to apologise and make it up to you — but he understands that it's probably better to give you some time to cool off before trying to approach you again.
despite the argument and the harsh words exchanged between you, the fact that he cares for you with his whole heart will never change, and he hopes you know that too.
while you're away, angel always finds his thoughts drifting to you, wondering how you're doing. are you eating okay? are you drinking enough? sleeping enough? with a shake of his head and a small sigh, he tries his best to return his focus back to the task at hand, whatever it may be.
he knows you can take care of yourself perfectly fine, but he just... misses you. the guilt eats away at him when he's reminded of the look on your face when you left, the brief glimmer of hurt in your eyes before you masked it with anger and tore your gaze away.
one particular night, angel heads over to your room in the hotel out of habit, not really thinking about it when he raises a fist to knock on the door. he had been hoping to spend some time with you, since today had been a particularly rough day for him. he's also been craving for one of your sleepover nights for a while, those nights where you two would stay up to talk about anything and everything until dawn rises. those times were comforting for him — a rare moment of respite in his life.
but then he stops abruptly, remembering that you're not there. he lets his hand fall back to his side, expression quietly downcast. he stands alone in the silent, empty hallway. has it always been this cold?
after a few days, he's just about damn ready to go looking for you, making his way down the stairs as he prepares to head out. he's so focused that he almost misses the sight of you seemingly casually sitting at the bar, nursing a drink in your hands whilst exchanging low murmurs with husk.
he freezes momentarily, taking a deep breath. while he mentally debates with himself whether to approach you or not, husk notices him hesitating on the staircase. he catches angel's gaze, giving him a subtle nod. that's all the affirmation angel needs.
he slides on his usual relaxed demeanour, though it's a little weaker than normal, as he approaches you. he's admittedly a little nervous, but he's determined to work things out with you. he puts a gentle hand on your shoulder to catch your attention. "hey, darlin'. can i talk to you for a minute?"
the two of you head back to your room, where heartfelt apologies are exchanged and a long overdue conversation takes place. at some point during the talk, his hand had found its way on top of yours, thumb brushing over your skin gently. at the end of it all, he gives you a small, content smile. "...baby, you have no idea just how much i adore you." he whispers into the quiet, running his fingers through your hair comfortingly as your head rests on his shoulder.
it was an unspoken agreement that tonight was going to be a sleepover night. prepare for lots of cuddling and gentle, soft kisses.
♡ vox
he's the type to go "ha, see if i care!" when you leave, but he'll still check on you occasionally through the various cameras and electronics around the city — he swears it's just because he's making sure the new limited edition voxtek product he had given to you isn't damaged.
(...it's totally because he's looking out for you, by the way. even if it's only a little. you are his darling, after all. and uh, you'll never know what happened to that guy who tried to hit on you that one time).
(vox made sure not even a trace of that bastard remained).
his obnoxious pride makes him reluctant to reach out first. that, and he's a petty little shit. so everyone around him, whether that be the other vees or his employees, is stuck dealing with his foul mood. he's become even more irritable and susceptible to lashing out than usual since you left.
he'd rather die than admit it, but you were a calming presence in his life that he hadn't realised he needed until you were gone. he hates just how much power you have over him, though you may or may not realise it. he's supposed to be the one in charge. when did you manage to sneak into his heart? his mind is occupied with thoughts of you.
and it only frustrates him more, because you're not here.
all his employees are left on edge, even more so when he takes his anger out on some poor soul who had gotten the numbers wrong on the report they handed in. "clean this mess up." vox snaps, glowering as he fixes the cuffs of his sleeves. the demon at the door hurriedly moves to do as he says, not wanting to risk meeting the same fate.
"what? what are you looking at?" he turns, eyes narrowing at the rest of the employees who flinch, hastily turning their eyes back to the screens in front of them. "get back to work." he mutters sharply, an unspoken threat in his words.
his volatile temperament goes on for a while, until velvette decides she's finally had enough and sends you a (not so) polite text to resolve your little lover's spat before she takes matters into her own hands.
meanwhile, vox is in his office. nothing seems to be going his way, and he's just about to blow another fuse when you nonchalantly throw open the doors, inviting yourself in. he freezes, staring at you for a few moments. you raise a brow. "...so. i heard you were throwing another hissy fit."
vox scowls at that, grumbling under his breath. "oh yeah? and what'd you come back for, you prissy little princess?" he sneers, clawed fingers digging into the desk with a quiet screech. "couldn't go without me for long, huh?"
"ha. you wish that was the case." you scoff, rolling your eyes with a half-amused, irked smile curling at your lips. things escalate into another argument pretty quickly, with the two of you at each other's throats. he towers over you, eyes narrowing as his grin widens in mild irritation.
it's a back and forth for quite some time, until you get sick of it and grab him by the collar of his shirt, yanking him closer until you're glaring at one another face to face. "what the fuck do you think you're—" he starts, but he's quickly cut off when your lips crash into his. vox is stunned for a few moments but soon snaps out of it, swiftly returning your kiss with equal, if not more, ferocity and intensity.
"finally got you to shut up." you murmur, grinning as you part to catch your breath and release his shirt from your grasp. before you can pull back completely, however, his hand reaches up to rest against the back of your neck, the other firmly on your waist. it takes another long, drawn-out kiss for him to finally let you go — though not really, since he's still holding you close in his arms.
"...that was hot." he whispers breathlessly, staring down at you with a somewhat satisfied glint in his eyes. but you both know that there's more to come.
suffice to say, the two of you sorted things out.
♡ lucifer
he would regret everything almost instantly. lucifer realises just how badly he fucked up when you leave without looking back. he's not even quite sure what happened as he stands alone in the room, blinking as he's left to process everything on his own. his mind is a jumbled mess, and he can't think clearly.
all he can feel is a suffocating rush of fear as he snaps out of his daze and hurries after you, desperate to find you before you're gone. he doesn't want to take his chances. what if you don't come back? what if—
he had said things that he didn't mean, and now the weight of it all feels crushing on his shoulders. he's torn between wanting to reach out to apologise and giving you time to cool down. he doesn't want to be a bother, but also really wants to make things up to you.
most of all, he just wants reassurance that you'll come back to him and that he hasn't messed things up for good. he doesn't want to lose you. you're too precious to him for that, and he's mentally kicking himself for ever making you question your importance to him for even a second.
thankfully, you haven't gone too far so he's able to catch up to you, taking a hold of your wrist firmly. however, when you turn to look at him, he falters, the words dying in his throat. he swallows, softly clearing his throat as he scrambles to say something, anything to stop you from leaving. to reaffirm his love for you.
"...sweetheart, i'm so sorry," he whispers, expression twisted and heart heavy with remorse and sorrow as he brings you close, grip subconsciously tightening because he's afraid to let you go. "i'll do anything, i'll make it up to you, i—" he trails off, burying his face into your shoulder, "just, please... don't leave. i'm sorry."
you really can't stay mad at him for too long after seeing his genuine sincerity. he acknowledges his wrongs, wanting nothing more than to make up for his mistakes and make you feel as appreciated and cared for as you've made him feel over the course of you two knowing each other. you sigh gently, thumb lightly brushing over his cheek. "...alright, silly. let's go home."
his eyes light up at that, and he's reminded of just how grateful he is to have you here by his side as you guys make your way home together. he holds your hand the entire time.
after the two of you make up, you find that he'll leave little gifts and cute trinkets around for you despite your gentle assurances that he doesn't have to. he also gives you lots of forehead kisses. he just wants to make sure you never forget how much he loves you, and that you mean the world to him.
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© dearaceofhearts ー all rights reserved. please do not steal, use or modify my works!
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mayullla · 1 year ago
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Title: There is no love here.
Character(s): Neuvillette (Genshin Impact)
Summary: It was an arranged marriage between you and Neuvillette and you promised him the day before the wedding that you would not cause trouble for him nor be disloyal however you would also never love him. Warnings/tags: Yandere themes, fem!reader, arrange marriage, one-sided love, unrequited love, lil angsty, 2.6k words Part 2 here! But he didn't want to let go.
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He was your husband for a very long time, long before a child's grandfather was born into the world. Yet you and he never had that loving relationship that humans have between a husband and wife. He was too busy and lacked the emotional care you needed when you were given to him as a bride by your parents who thought this was for the best.
You age slowly compared to humans, you have the luxury to take your time as you watch humans try their best to live the most with what they have. It was a kind of beauty in your eyes, the determination in those of shorter life spans than yours. And it was a fear that your parents harvested in their hearts.
For they wanted you happy and satisfied as time slowly passed by. They didn't want you to face the pain of losing someone you loved so much all because you fell in love with someone who didn't have a long life span, that while you looked young and loveable your lover would become old and tired. 
That was something that Neuvillette knew when your father worked right alongside him. Your father told him about you, and about his worries. All he wished was for you to be with someone who could care for you for as long as you lived.
It was Neuvillette who offered this arrangement something that delighted your parents. That you and he would marry and in return he would make sure that you would never have your needs and wants unfulfilled, instead as long as it was not impossible nor illegal in the eyes of the law you would have everything you want in your hands.
You were shocked when you heard you have been engaged to someone who you barely even know. You struggled but in the end, you relented when so much was stacked against you.
You asked Neuvillette the day before the wedding why he chose to marry you. Hopefully with a reason it could make it easier for you to love him but when you saw his face bare without emotions you knew it was not love.
You could not help but flinch when you heard his reason, the reasons why he chose to marry you all for the sake of your parents' worries. Loyal and trusted subordinates of his, he wanted to give them something, to rest their anxious minds when they had supported him many times in the past. You understood that it was never between you and him, you understood that there could be no love in this relationship.
Calmly you told him that you would marry him, that you would not cause trouble at the wedding in front of many nor would you trouble him after marriage. You told him that after the wedding you would never cheat on him nor would you even be disloyal. However, you also told him that you would never look at him as a lover. You would respect him for who he was but you would never love him. 
Neuvillette was silent as he watched you leave through the doors after respectfully saying your goodbye and leaving his office.
The wedding had gone without a hitch, and the people clapped in congratulations. The man that they respected, Chief Justice Neuvillette, had finally gotten married. It was on the front covers of newspapers and articles for weeks. It was rowdy in the Court of Fontaine, many women cried their tears out that it wasn't them who walked down the wedding aisle while others talked about how beautiful the couple was together, or how the news said that the hydro archon had given them her blessings.
Yet while the city was bustling about the news of the newlywed couple, the house where the lived couple was silent as stone. Neuvillette had granted your request that you and he would have separate living quarters. Your own bed and your own room, your privacy away from the man you wed a mere few days ago. The honeymoon was decidedly skipped, as Neuvillette was a busy man too busy at court to even have time for something like that. It was preferable that way, you thought to yourself rarely did you have to meet him apart from breakfast and dinner. 
Furina commented about it as she looked at Neuvillette but closed her mouth when he explained the reason that he could not rest when justice needed to be served. He didn't explain anything more than that for that was between you and him.
And it was like that for years, Neuvillette had given you everything you supposedly want. From luxuries and delicious food to dresses and pieces of jewelry and tickets to events and more. You always thanked him for his thoughts yet when you looked at his gift it was obvious in his eyes that this was not what you wanted nor did you ever think that this was something that he himself picked.
It was simply something he got, thinking that it was expected for a husband to shower his wife with presents whenever he got the chance.
Still, you wore the dresses and accessories and attended the VIP shows and exclusive events with the pass and tickets he gave you. You smiled when reporters and curious people approached you. When they asked about you and your relationship with Neuvillette you would coat the truth with syrup and sugar. It was still the truth that he got you the hat that you wore or the front-row seat ticket to that popular theater show but they need not need to know what it was like within the house, aside from the presents that he gave you, aside that you would rather prefer it that way when they comment of his lack romance as you go alone to such events without him by your side.
It was rare after all that more often than not whatever plans he made would be canceled due to his busy schedule.
You prefer to keep it this way, that you would be satisfied enough with this much already having thrown all fantasies and daydreams of this loving relationship ever since that day before the wedding. Neuvillette though... for him it was different.
He lacked an understanding of human emotions so these feelings within his chest as he looked at you slowly unknowingly creeped up to him seeping within his body as his veins absorbed these feelings. It wasn't a sudden realization nor a surprise bomb bursting in his chest. Neuvillette would say it was akin to something like an empty lake barren and dry suddenly had a small stream slowly start to fill it up again yet was never noticed.
You kept your promise that you made a long time ago, that you would never cheat on him, and that you would not cause trouble. You were respectful, as you sat beside him at the dining table eating quietly. If he had awkwardly tried to open up a conversation with you, you would take the reins for him and start a small conversation between the two of you. He was always left with regret after those conversations when it was quickly cut short due to an empty plate or when one side had plans or trials they had to attend to.
Sometimes you would visit his office, staying there for a while as you made him tea, also plating the sweets that you have bought before coming here, and then sitting quietly on a sofa in the office reading a book with your own plate of desserts and tea. He had become rather comfortable by your presence near him in those days, finding it sometimes much easier to concentrate when you were there. He was mildly disappointed when you would leave when a garde would come rushing in with something of an emergency or when an important matter needed to be discussed between him and someone else. He would watch you leave, your back facing him not once did he ever see you look back.
It hurt him more than he himself knew.
When did it start to feel like waves crashing in his stomach, a whirlpool that was pulling his organs and lungs? As he arrived home late only to see you waiting for him in the living room, sometimes reading or other hobbies that you had in your personal time. Looking up you heard the front door open and heavy steps, you greeted him casually with a yawn. The first time you did this surprised Neuvillette, as he asked you why you didn't go to sleep when it was so late at night. It was a half heart answer, stating that you were his wife asking if he ate. If he did eat then you would head to your room after asking him about his day and if he didn't, you would head to the kitchen making sure there was food on the table before leaving again.
Leaving him in the middle of the hallway or kitchen late at night alone. He wasn't sure if he would be better off if you didn't do this then maybe the feeling would feel as hollow, as lonely in his heart.
Sometimes he caught himself staring at the picture frame of you and him that was placed on his office table. It was something that many humans did and something he decided to follow. The smile on your face as you looked at the Kamera while holding his arm. You looked happy here most would say, yet Neuvillette could see how empty your eyes were.
The same eyes that he saw every day even after years flew nothing has changed at all, not once. They were empty, hollow, lacking that spark that he saw many couples have, that shine that many older married couples have toward each other. That love and affection that showed brightly in their eyes was empty in yours. Instead, you looked happier, more at peace, and relaxed when he wasn't there. The shine in your eyes brightened as you read an interesting book or found something that interested you. 
He saw the yearning in your eyes as you watched others express their affections to one another, their plans and hopes that were made together in front of the fountain. Only for your eyes to dull again when he called out your name. 
When did it start to drive him insane...
When did he start to have this frustrated feeling in his chest? Never once did you look at him with distaste or hatred. You always put an effort to follow him, his plans, and his beliefs. Conversation wise you were also patient with him, teaching him sometimes when he doesn't understand something. Not once did you or him ever fight the many years you were together, unlike the many trials he watched between angry lovers.
There was no love, no affection. Like you promised you told him that you would respect him you would also never love him. In front of others, you would link hands and arms with him, as was expected from most couples in the eyes of the public, especially when they were as mainstream as the two of you. But it was never more than that.
Neuvillette was curious as to what it was like when he saw the "lovey-dovey" couples, and what it would be like if you loved him like that. Some would wrap their arms around their love, some stealing kisses when they thought no one was looking. He would watch the husband's protective hold over his wife's waist, or how they would softly smile at each other when their eyes met.
But that wasn't meant for him.
You knew of his tears, the rain that fell from the sky. You were a being with a long life while younger than him you knew who he was. Those days when the dark clouds stayed in the sky a little longer than usual you become more caring as you stayed by his side speaking finally when he spoke. Sometimes you wouldn't ask him what was the matter instead changing the topic to something more light-hearted, to keep his mind off it sometimes you would ask him which were most of the time few.
But in the end, after a while… you would always leave him. Problem solved, for the most part it was true yet Neuvillette wished you would stay a little longer.
He watched you, as you spoke and he could not help but wonder if it was only him who started to love you. Neuvillette thought that maybe after all this time maybe, just maybe there would be something, he had heard of how some people could develop feelings towards someone they once disliked after seeing them often.
Yet when he looked at your eyes there was kindness, but rather than love, there was pity, a sense of responsibility.
He must have been a fool to think that.
He must be insane to become like this, as the rain continued to fall from the sky he stared at his home where he saw you by the window. The curtains were closed but he could see the silhouette of your figure looking down at a book as you drank your tea. From here, you looked peaceful, from here he could see that you were satisfied with what you had.
However, he was not.
His heart was shaken, as silent words whispered in his ears in his mind. That you would never love him, that the only reason why you were here was because you were forced to. You didn't choose to be with him but instead chose to accept the fact that you were forced to marry him. Neuvillette felt as if the floor could crumble any moment, that any moment whatever you and he had would crumble into nothing. That one day you could fall in love with another man, and look at him with not only respect but love and adoration that he never had.
It made his heart bitter and hurt as anxiety consumed him. He didn't want you to leave. He didn't want you to leave his side. He ignored your surprised look when he held your hand tightly when you looked away from him in your walk. For a moment you looked away from the front and looked at the couples and people that he unconsciously tightened his grip on your arm. For a moment you thought you saw his face hurt, as anxiety swirled in his eyes.
He loved you so much. He loved you so much that he was scared.
As you sleep so peacefully in your bed, deep in your slumber you didn't hear the sound of steps that walked towards your bed. Sharp blue eyes that you once called beautiful, much to his surprise in the past, looked at your sleeping frame as his fingers pushed the strands of hair that covered your face.
Neuvillete watched you sleep, in your world that didn't have him in it. He wished that he could follow you, he desperately wished that he was within your beautiful eyes. That you would love him just as much as he loved you. He didn't want you to leave him, even if you wanted he didn't think he would be able to let you go. It would be impossible to let you go unless you wanted the world to rain till the whole of Fontaine to become nothing more than a lifeless sea.
Neuvillette could not let you go, even when guilt would be the one who kills him he would never let you go.
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star-sim · 1 year ago
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hopeless ☆ heeseung lee
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☆ horrendously down bad! heeseung x fem! reader ☆ summary: absolutely no one would have expected the dark, brooding, and rough heeseung lee to be hopelessly head over heels in love with the sweet, oblivious you. especially you. even with the help of practically the entire year, it's almost pathetic the way heeseung struggles to utter three, simple words to you, let alone look you in the eye. ☆ genre: fluff!!! pining, SUPER WHIPPED HEESEUNG, high school! au, non-idol! au, a lot of 01 liner idols + the rest of enha make appearances, btw this follows the asian school system, SO MUCH FLIRTING OMG, heeseung is kinda pathetic and awk ☆ warning(s)? swearing and dumb characters lol, there is one SA scene, but it is not graphic + very minor violence ☆ word count: 10.8k ☆ this is extremely based off of "danger" by bts, especially the lyric "you're cute, and i'm pathetic" lol enjoy!
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Heeseung Lee was stressed. 
No. He was distraught. 
Distraught about how fucking cute you looked today.
Ever since he was a kid, Heeseung loved Halloween, because he loved Trick-or-Treating with his older brother and cousins. However now, at the age of seventeen, he found himself resenting it. Not because there was any issue with the holiday, but because today was Halloween. 
From across the classroom, Heeseung found himself staring, all dazed and empty-headed, at you, who was clad in your cute bunny costume. The way the fluffy, white ears stuck out from the top of your head, as well as the fluffy white coat draped around your shoulders, made you look so soft and cozy and adorable. The way your nose crinkled as you laughed with your friends, sweet sounds coming from your lips as you threw your head back. 
Were you real? How could anyone be so goddamn beautiful and not be an actual angel sent from above? What country did Heeseung save in his past life in order to get to be in your presence in this life?
"Dude, you're staring," a new voice interjected.
"What?" Heeseung tore his eyes away from you. "I wasn't."
Beomgyu Choi was one of Heeseung's classmates. And, like everyone else in their year, Beomgyu knew how enamored Heeseung was with you. Other than yourself, of course.
"I'm tellin' you," Beomgyu plopped down onto his seat, which was beside Heeseung's. He slid his chair so that he would be closer to his classmate, before throwing an arm around Heeseung. "You need to make a move. Like, now."
Heeseung glanced over at his classmate. If he ignored the fake blood on Beomgyu's chin, as well as the fake, plastic vampire teeth and the god-awful Spirit Halloween Dracula cape, he'd know that Beomgyu was 100% correct. 
Everyone (and seriously, everyone) knew that Heeseung Lee had the biggest, juiciest, most obnoxious crush on you. In fact, your own friends had even tasked themselves with the job of putting in a good word for Heeseung, saying things like "Isn't he so cool?" into your ear to hopefully guide you straight into his arms. It's such a well-known fact that some of your teachers have purposefully placed you and Heeseung next to or near each other in order to help him with his more-than-obvious crush. 
With such a big, school-wide effort, it should be expected that at least some progress was made.
Wrong!
Not even a single stroke of progress has been made.
Probably because there was one teensy, weensy, eensy, problem: Heeseung was an absolute mess around you. Heeseung was known as this tall, blunt, and rough guy at school. When he wasn't silently judging everyone, he hung out with his group of friends, who had a reputation for being delinquents. Heeseung Lee, clad in his iconic black leather jacket, was intimidating, and usually had no problem speaking up for himself. But around you? Absolutely not.
If anyone thought that Heeseung Lee could easily speak to you, they were out of their goddamn mind. There were too many instances where your classmates would push Heeseung and you together, only for him to blow it because he was completely incapable of looking you in the eye without turning red. 
In Heeseung's defense, you were the most beautiful person in the world— How is he not supposed to get nervous?
"You know I can't," Heeseung murmured, clenching his fists.
Beomgyu rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Hee. What happened to banger Heeseung Lee? Heeseung Lee that beats up kids? I didn't think you'd be scared of talking to girls."
"First of all," Heeseung frowned, "I'm not a banger and I don't beat up kids. And also, I'm not scared of talking to girls."
His classmate quirked a brow. "Really?" Heeseung nodded. "Because the last time I remember, you could barely get a word out in front of [Name]."
At the sound of your name, Heeseung jerked in his seat, reaching out to grasp Beomgyu's arm. "Shhhh, don't say her name so loud!" he hissed, eyes quivering over to where you were with your friends.
"What?" Beomgyu looked around indiscreetly. "It's not a secret to anyone how you feel about [Name]."
"Shhhh! Shut up!"
When the bell rang, everyone scurried to their seat, and class began. As Beomgyu tuned out the sound of the teacher's voice, he couldn't help but notice the way Heeseung's eyes were completely glued to you. It was almost laughable, the way the boy's eyes were wide, staring at you like you were some god.
Oh god, Heeseung Lee was hopeless.
"Heeseung-hyung, are you free tomorrow?"
It was lunch time. Heeseung and his friends liked to hang around the rooftop of the school, because it was always empty. And plus, no one wanted to be where Heeseung and his friends were— they were too scary!
Heeseung looked at his younger Australian friend, Jake Sim (or Jaeyun Sim, as his official documents stated), who had just asked that question. Heeseung took a bite of the instant ramen that they bought from the vending machine.
"Yeah, why?"
"Good. Because you have a date with [Name] tomorrow."
Heeseung choked. As he coughed, his other younger friend, Sunoo Kim, let out a whine.
"Hyuuunggg!" Sunoo pouted. "Why'd you tell him?"
"It was supposed to be a surprise!" Riki Nishimura, the group's Japanese foreign exchange student friend, added, elbowing Jake in the ribs.
"Whatever," Jake crossed his arms. When Riki nudged him again, Jake opened his mouth to holler, "Jay, back me up!"
Jongseong "Jay" Park was another one of Heeseung's friends, probably the closest person to him. 
"You guys know Heeseung-hyung is going to fuck it up either way, right?" Jay said. "Remember last time?"
"Yeah," Sunghoon Park joined in. "No matter how much we prepared him, Heeseung-hyung still acted like a fucking idiot."
"I'm right here!" Heeseung shouted, still hitting his chest to dislodge the ramen that he choked on. 
Jungwon Yang, the seventh person in their friend group, put a hand on the older boy's shoulder, his lips lifting up into a half-teasing grin, revealing sharp canine teeth, "Hyung, don't listen to them. I think you'll really impress [Name] tomorrow."
It was Heeseung's turn to elbow Jungwon in the ribs.
When Heeseung finally finished coughing up a storm, his friends were already onto another topic, making plans for the next weekend.
"Hey, hey!" Heeseung grumbled. "Aren't you guys going to explain this so-called 'date with [Name]'?"
"What's there to explain?" Riki said. "You're going on a date with [Name]. End of story."
The eldest of the group's face contorted. "What are you guys even saying—"
"Well, it's not technically a date," Sunghoon said, taking a sip of his juice box. "You're, like, hanging out with [Name] though."
That still didn't answer Heeseung's question. 
"When? Where? What time?" he spluttered, eager for answers.
Jake huffed exasperatedly. "Do we have to explain to you everything? It's not that deep, man."
Jungwon rolled his eyes. "Hyung, [Name]'s friends are the presidents of the Environment and Ecology Club, and there's a social tomorrow. It's like birdhouse painting, or something. [Name] is attending to support her friend, so we signed you up, too."
"Birdhouse painting?!" Sunoo's features morphed into confusion. "I thought they were making bracelets?"
"No, I thought there were weaving baskets?" Riki frowned.
"Whatever it is, it sounds lame as hell," Jay remarked.
Jungwon rolled his eyes again, earning a punch on his arm. "Whatever it is, it'll be a great opportunity for you to talk to [Name]." 
The younger boy offered Heeseung a reassuring smile, only to receive a pensive one in return.
When classes resumed, Heeseung felt light-headed and distracted the entire time as he processed the fact that he was going to be around you tomorrow.
Oh god, he sounded like a total loser. Did the mere thought of being in your presence make him nervous? Yes, yes it did. You were just so pretty and sweet, he had no idea what to do. Poor boy, his teeth dug into his bottom lip, clammy palms pressing into the underside of his desk. His knee bounced, and there was absolutely no way that he could even make out a single word the teacher was saying.
Heeseung was going to pass out. 
"Hey, Heeseung?"
That's your voice. It was so pretty and nice on his ears. Was he in heaven? He wouldn't be surprised if your voice was the voice of an angel.
"Heeseung?"
Heeseung was convinced that he was in heaven now. What he wouldn't do to hear your voice every second of his life.
"Heeseung!" another voice interjected. That's what snapped Heeseung out of his daze. Too deep in his head, Heeseung hadn't noticed that the class period ended, and the short passing period had already begun.
At his desk stood Yunjin Huh, Minjeong "Winter" Kim, and... oh my god... you. The three of you had somewhat matching Halloween costumes: Yunjin was a gray mouse, Winter was a cat, and you were a bunny. And now that he looked at it, you all were holding a bag of candy.
While your two friends were giving him the"Are you serious?" looks, you looked at him with wide, kind eyes.
"Heeseung?" your beautiful voice said, fingers reaching into the candy bag that you were holding. "Would you like candy?"
He stared at you. You were giving out candy to everyone in class because it was Halloween... You're such an angel... What did the world do to deserve you...
Winter stepped on Heeseung's foot, snapping him out of his daze once again. The boy let out a small yelp in pain, and as the embarrassment settled in, he heard you let out a small giggle, lips raising up to show off your teeth.
Oh my god, he was going to die.
"Y-Yeah," he stammered out, cursing himself internally. Heeseung couldn't help but feel everyone in class's gaze glued to him. When you handed him a piece of candy, your hand brushed up against his. Heeseung could feel his ears becoming hot, the warmth rising to his neck.
You smiled at him, before saying in a sing-songy voice, "Happy Halloween!"
Heeseung had to force himself not to stare like an absolute fool.
He was really hopeless.
hee: jay i don't think i can do it tomorrow
It was 2AM when Heeseung texted Jay. He spent the entire night thinking about the "date" (probably the least necessary word at the moment), and he simply couldn't sleep.
Heeseung had embarrassed himself too many times in front of you. Like that one time you and him were on cleaning duty together, and he was so distracted by you that he tripped over a bucket of water. Or that one time he sat next to you for a few weeks and his shoes kept squeaking against the floor, making it look like he was farting. Or when he tried to look cool and suave in front of you at some social your friends invited him to only to rip a hole in his pants. And then what happened today... He could not embarrass himself again.
hee: like i think i'm going to die if she sits next to me tomorrow
It was only a matter of seconds when his friend texted back.
jay: you'll be fine trust
Heeseung frowned.
hee: stop lying to me
hee: you know how i am around her
jay: i believe in you
jay: like srsly
hee: that's blind faith
Jay typed for a little bit, before stopping altogether. Heeseung huffed. Did his friend just leave him on read? A few minutes later Jay sent a Wikihow article.
'How to talk to your crush,' it was aptly named. Heeseung deadpanned.
hee: are you being fr right now
jay: give [name] your sexy heeseung charm and you'll be walking off into the sunset hand-in-hand with her in no time
jay: read the article btw
How was this guy an actual person?
hee: kill yourself
jay: give her that passionate, sexy, boiling hot, hotter-than-the-sun, steaming hot heeseung that makes her just want to come up to you and give you the fattest, juiciest kiss on the mouth, i know you can do it soldier
hee: DIE
Heeseung couldn't sleep all night.
At school, the entire day was just plagued with anxiety for what was to come. It didn't help that your friends kept turning around and giving him knowing looks throughout the day. When school finally let out, Heeseung went to the classroom where the birdhouse-painting-bracelet-making-basket-weaving social would be held. His friends told him to go there the moment that school ended, but when he came, there was literally no one there.
Until someone yanked him into the classroom.
"Hey!-" he yelped, before the door slammed. In front of him stood two people that he recognized: Sumin Bae and Sieun Park, two of your friends who also coincidentally were the co-presidents of the Environment and Ecology club.
Sumin cocked a brow at him, crossing her arms. "I hope you're not as hopeless as everyone says you are."
Heeseung opened his mouth to respond, but Sieun cut him off.
"Ugh, that doesn't matter," she pinched her nose-bridge. "We told [Name] to sit near the front, so you better sit there, too."
"Right-" 
Sumin cut him off, too.
"[Name]'s favorite color is pink, and her favorite Sanrio character is Keroppi," Sumin asserted. "And she really likes things that are cute, so like fruit patterns, hearts, stars, yada yada."
Heeseung blinked at them. "And this is relevant how...?"
Sumin and Sieun shared a look.
"You are completely hopeless."
As it turned out, they were giving him details about design-elements that you liked, so that Heeseung could somehow impress you with his birdhouse painting abilities (Jungwon was right, it was birdhouse painting). After info-dumping on him, they kicked him out of the classroom to actually prepare for the social.
As Heeseung was pushed out of the classroom, he bumped into someone. Just as he was about to say, "Watch where you're going," he realized that it was you. 
"Oh, hi, Heeseung!" you greet him cheerfully, your eyes pressing into thin slits as you smile. 
Quick! What does he do? "Hi... [Name]."
"Are you here for the social, too?" The way your eyes gazed at him made him feel shy already.
"Y-Yeah...."
"I didn't know you were interested in the Environment and Ecology club..." You remarked, and Heeseung panicked— Was it obvious that he was here exclusively for you?— but what you said next made him sigh in relief. "That's great! I'm so happy that I finally have someone familiar with me here!"
He's going to faint.
When the social began, you invited him to sit next to you. Heeseung felt stiff as he sat beside you, watching the way that you happily painted your small, wooden birdhouse. Heeseung wanted to start a conversation with you, but each time he thought of something to say, his voice caught in his throat. Sumin and Sieun had given him two dirty looks already, so he needed to make a move now or their efforts would be in vain.
"W-What's that?" he finally stuttered out, pointing to the glob of green on your birdhouse. 
You laugh airily, leaning closer to him so that he can see it better. "Can you guess?"
Heeseung tries to concentrate on guessing, but it's hard when you're close to him. Quick! What's green and something that you like?
"Is that... K-Keroppi?"
"Yeah!" Your face lit up, flashing him a cheeky grin. You nudged him with your elbow, raising your brows at him playfully. "Awww, Hee, you smarty pants! How'd you know?"
Hee?
OhmygodohmygodohmygodyoucalledhimHee.
You stopped laughing, pulling away from him. "Sorry, do you not like being called Hee? Beomgyu sometimes calls you that, so I thought-"
"No, I like it!" Heeseung blurted, a little louder than he wanted to, earning a few questioning looks from people around him. The boy felt abnormally warm, embarrassed at his outburst. "I-I'm okay with you calling me that..."
"Noted!" you said, before your lips curled upward. "Now... are you going to tell me how you could tell that this green blob was Keroppi?"
"Oh uhm..." Heeseung's lips were moving faster than his head, "Y-You dressed up as Keroppi last year for Halloween with Yunjin."
Almost like you were a cartoon character, you perked up at his statement. "You remember?"
Of course he did. How could he forget? You wore a cartoonishly-big red bow around your neck like Keroppi, and had a green Keroppi-style headband. You looked adorable, especially when you went around showing off a Keroppi keychain that you got at the Cinnamoroll Cafe in Hongdae to anyone that was willing to listen.
Heeseung found himself chuckling. "Of course I'd remember your massive red bow."
You stared at him for a few moments, before a bashful grin broke out on your face. You then buried your face in your hands, letting out a groan. "Ughhhh, that's so embarrassing!"
"How?"
It's going good so far, Heeseung thought. Just don't mess it up!
You pouted cutely, your bottom lip jutting out. In the light, he could see the gloss shining off of it so prettily. "My makeup was so fucked up last year, ughhh, it looked so bad."
You? Look bad? Impossible.
"What are you talking about?" Heeseung asked, his doe-like eyes scanning your embarrassed face. "I thought you looked cute."
You stared at him. It took a few pulses for Heeseung to realize what he just said. His face instantly turned three shades warmer and panic was evident in his expression.
"I-I mean— You jus—You were really—"
He shut his mouth when you began laughing. Laughing so hard that you clutched onto his knee, keeling over yourself. His cheeks burned.
You're laughing at him, aren't you? Did he fuck up?
When you noticed the sulky expression on his face, you stopped laughing.
"Sorry, Hee," you said, giving his knee a reassuring squeeze. "It's just... You look so intimidating, when you're really just a sweetheart."
If Heeseung was red before, he was quietly literally the color of a tomato. It was a wonder that the entire room’s temperature didn’t rise given the sheer amount of heat radiating off his person.
"A s-sweetheart?"
"Yeah!" you happily respond. "You're just the cutest, y'know? Like a little puppy."
As much as Heeseung wanted to die happily now that you called him cute, he needed to keep this conversation going. Sucking in a sharp breath, the boy looked at you in the eyes. "W-Well I think the same about you... [Name]."
You looked at him curiously, so he continued, his voice soft and sheepish, "I... also think that you're the cutest."
You blinked at him a few times, before the widest smile that he'd ever seen spread across your cheeks, stretching ear to ear. If only Heeseung wasn't too busy grappling with his shyness, he'd notice the way you let out a soft, bashful giggle, shaking your head and squeezing your eyes shut to keep yourself from being too visibly flustered. Slowly, with all the courage that you had left in you, you raised your hand and placed it on Heeseung's head. You ruffled his soft locks, gushing, "God, you're so cute, Heeseung!"
The rest of the social is filled with soft chatter between the two of you, but Heeseung was honestly too captivated by you to notice the time passing. With his heart on his sleeve, and a sloppily-painted birdhouse in his hands, Heeseung mentally high-fived himself.
Heeseung's friends never heard the end of it. The moment that he got home, Heeseung spammed their groupchat, giving them paragraphs and paragraphs of the events that ensued.
hee: and then she called me cute. like CUTE CUTE, not even like she was alluding it, she used the word CUTE
hee: oh my god i think i'm gonna faint
His friends don't have it in them to flame him. After all, this was progress.
Unbeknownst to him, you were feeling the same things. Everyone knew that Heeseung liked you, except yourself. You had the opposite case: you've had the biggest crush on Heeseung since middle school, but never told a single soul about it. You're a naturally expressive and sweet person, so it was so incredibly hard hiding your feelings for him. 
After all, under that handsome and brooding outer shell, you saw his softness. This past year, you've had so many miscellaneous interactions (at least, it seemed miscellaneous-- everyone but you knew that those interactions were set up) with Heeseung. At the beginning of each interaction, he'd act all mysterious, but as time passed, he'd speak so softly and slowly unravel. 
It was so, so cute. Heeseung was so cute. To say you wanted him would be an understatement. No words were sufficient to fully express the nights that you stayed awake thinking about him, or the makeup looks that you intricately practiced to impress him, or the sheer number of times that you had to hide the fact that you were staring at him.
Maybe you couldn't hide it any longer.
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"Wait, what?!"
Heeseung's heart dropped to his stomach the moment he heard the words leave his friend's lips. Chenle Zhong was one of you and Heeseung's mutual friends, and according to him, someone had confessed to you via a letter today.
"Are you serious?" Heeseung asked, pulling his bottom lip into his teeth, chewing pensively. "Do you know who wrote it?"
"Nope, but I'll try to get more info on it," Chenle frowned. "Yunjin says that [Name] laughed at the letter."
When Heeseung didn't say anything, Chenle continued. "Hey, man, that could be a sign, y'know?"
When Heeseung's face morphed into a confused expression, his friend added, "Like, maybe [Name] thinks it's a joke? Maybe she doesn't care for it."
That's what Heeseung hoped for.
Later, Chenle texted him a screenshot of the love letter. To say that Heeseung was appalled would be an understatement. The letter read,
'To my dearest [Name], you're as beautiful as the plum blossoms in the spring. Your lips are soft like pillows, pillows that I would love to fall into an eternal in. I love you, I love you, I'll love you until this paper decomposes and becomes a part of the earth, and maybe then they will be able to force me to forget you. Love, your admirer.'
Heeseung immediately sent it to his groupchat.
jakey: yo who invited shakespeare???
hoon: i had a stroke reading that
sunoo: "your lips are soft like pillows" is crazyyy
hee: chenle gave me updates, apparently [name] knows who the sender is
jay: AND WHO IS THE SENDER??
hee: i don't know
hee: but minjeong says that it's someone from class 2
niki: class 2 is full of snobs
jungwon: i'm still in shock because of "i'll love you until this paper decomposes"
hoon: WHAT IF IT'S JUNGSU HYUNG
niki: oh it's SO over for you heeseung-hyung
As it turned out, it was not, in fact, Jungsu Kim from Class 2, thanks to your friends, who were quite wonderful info-brokers. But he still didn't know who it was.
Laying in bed, Heeseung felt weight on his chest. You laughed at the letter. While that could mean that it was a joke, it could also mean that you thought the person writing the letter was funny... which could mean that you liked them back. Just the mere thought of you with someone else made Heeseung frown deeply. This entire time he was worried about how to act around you, completely ignoring the fact that you yourself could be interested in someone else! God, he was so stupid.
Heeseung needed to know who it was that sent it, and more importantly, if you were romantically interested in them.
Fear makes man do crazy things.
Like walking one's crush to school.
Look, Heeseung was mulling over the situation as he walked to school, when he saw you across the street, walking in the same direction as him. In what could only be called an adrenaline-high, Heeseung ran across the street up to you.
"[Name]!" he called out.
"Heeseung?—Oh my god!"
Poor boy was breathless, flushed in the face. It took him a few moments to catch his breath. Flashing you a grin, Heeseung said, "Let's walk to school together, [Name]."
You're silent for a few moments, before you return the smile. "Of course."
The walk was silent, only the sound of early morning traffic, footsteps against the concrete sidewalk, and the occasional sniffle courtesy of you filling the cold air between the two of you. Speaking of which, your sniffles began to get louder and more frequent. Now out of adrenaline, Heeseung was back to being shy.
Clearing his throat, Heeseung forced his voice out. "Are you— Are you sick?"
You sniffled again, bringing your hand up to swipe your nose. The two of you were at an intersection now, so you pressed the pedestrian button. "No, I just get sniffly when it's cold."
That's. So. Cute. Was what Heeseung was thinking. The way you were rubbing your hands together made you look so adorable, he just wanted to put you in his pocket. 
He must have been staring at you for a while, back in his you-loving daze, because Heeseung did not notice that the streetlight changed, and it was time for the pedestrians to pass.
Not to worry!
Heeseung was completely kicked out of his daze when your smaller hand grabbed his, pulling him along the street. His eyes were glued to the two of your hands, especially where they connected. For someone sniffly, your hands were warm. He liked the way that they fit in his.
Even in the cool morning air, Heeseung suddenly felt warm all over.
You were in the middle of the sidewalk when Heeseung stopped. Feeling bold, he dropped his schoolbag, and began slipping off his thick, black, leather jacket, before draping it over your shoulders. 
When you looked up at him with those curious doe eyes, all his boldness went away.
"Y-You're cold aren't you?" He avoided looking you in the eyes. "Just... Just take it. Y-You can give it back later... or whatever."
You giggled, slipping your arms into the sleeves.
God, you looked so cute in his jacket. Heeseung was going to melt.
And he did melt, because you began doing cute twirls to show off the jacket, posing for him.
"How do I look?" you cheekily asked, popping your leg up. 
Heeseung was speechless, his mouth just left agape. He had to force himself to speak.
"Cute..." he answered, barely audible.
A grin was growing on your face. "Sorry, I didn't hear you. How do I look?"
Heeseung squeezed his eyes shut, huffing. "I said you looked cute!"
The sight of Heeseung's pink cheeks and his cute little pout was enough for you to be satisfied. Before the boy could realize what he said, you picked up his school bag for him, shoving it into one of his hands, before snatching his free hand. You pulled him gently to continue walking, but Heeseung was frozen in place, eyes too busy on you.
"Heeeeee," you elongated your syllables. You squeezed his hand twice, tugging him again. "We can't be late to class, can we?"
Heeseung audibly gulped. "Y-Yeah. You're right.."
You guys began walking again, neither of you wanting to let each other’s hands go.
"And then she held my hand— Isn't that crazy?! She held my hand!"
"Heeseung-hyung, please, I am peeing right now."
It was the lunch period once again. As Heeseung and Sunghoon traversed the hallways to get to the stairwell, the older of two chatted about the events that morning.
"So you held her hand?" Sunghoon asked half-heartedly, barely listening. "And then what?"
Heeseung perked up. "And then we walked to class together, and then she—"
"That's cool and all," the younger friend was walking in front of him. Sunghoon turned over his shoulder. "But did you get any more information about the letter fiasco?"
Oh. 
No, Heeseung didn't.
When they reached the rooftop, his friends gently nudged him to get more information about the letter. 
"You don't want to have one of those 'too late' moments, right?" Jungwon said, chewing on his rice ball. "What if by the time you gather the courage to talk to her, [Name] is already walking off into the sunset hand-in-hand with her secret admirer?!"
"What's with you guys and walking off into the sunset..." Heeseung muttered, running a hand through his hair. 
"I'm serious, hyung!"
"I second that," Jay said lazily.
"I second that," Riki mocked in a squeaky voice, earning him a soft smack at the back of his head.
"Well, what am I supposed to do?" Heeseung asked, frustrated. "I can talk to her or her friends later, but not right now."
Jake scoffed. "What's stopping you from going back inside and talking to [Name] right now?"
The eldest boy didn't have an answer. That's true. There wasn't anything stopping Heeseung from talking to you right now. All the boys were now watching him for an answer, ready to pounce on him for being a coward.
"I don't know!" Heeseung finally said. "I've used up all of my bravery today... I don't think I have it in me to talk to her!"
His friends stared at him questioningly, until the silence was broken by Sunoo taking a loud and very obviously fake phonecall.
"Hi! Yes! Mhm. He's right here. Yeah. Mhm. Thank you!"
Sunoo hung up loudly, and looked at Heeseung with a cocked brow. "I was just on the phone with Yunjin. She says you should probably go talk to [Name]."
Heeseung looked at Sunoo incredulously, but the expectant expressions on his friends' faces made him groan.
"Fine!"
As Heeseung creeped down the school hallway, he came to the classroom that you hung out in at lunch: your homeroom. Standing outside the door, the boy took a deep breath.
Relax, it's just [Name], he had to tell himself, as if that helped at all. What was he even going to say? 
'Hey, are you dating the person that sent you that letter? If you aren't, do you want to get married to me? Haha.'
????
Just as Heeseung was about to slide the door open, he heard a very familiar laugh from inside. Of course he could recognize it. After all, it was you. 
"Yuri is so cute!" he heard you giggle. "She wrote me that little letter as a joke, but I think I'm actually in love with her."
In.
Love.
With.
Her.
"Awww, Yuri, come here and give me a kiss!"
Come.
Give.
You.
A.
Kiss.
"I'm gonna marry you, Yuri!"
Marry.
You.
Yuri.
To Heeseung, everyone was an enemy. No matter their gender or class, the moment that he heard that you got a love letter, everyone became a suspect. It all made sense now. Yuri Jo, the 'Yuri' that you were talking about and to, was from Class 2. He knew that you and her were friends, but he didn't know that you were romantically interested in her. 
Jungwon was right. Now you were going to walk off into the sunset hand-in-hand with her!
hee: guys what if [name] is already taken :(
jakey: what are you on about this time
There was something scary about a 6-feet tall guy mulling around and sulking all day, so luckily no one got in Heeseung's way as he brooded. Unfortunately, he felt his heart hurt whenever he looked at you. Almost cartoonishly, he'd turn away, close his eyes in dramatic pain, and pout. Although he acted a little bit theatrical, it was no doubt that Heeseung felt sad. He really thought he had a chance with you, and now he felt stupid.
Except, he was stupid.
But for a different reason.
"Jesus Christ, you're actually hopeless, Heeseung."
After school, your friends cornered him, somewhere where you wouldn't see. His friends were somehow in close communication with your friends.
"I can't believe you thought me and [Name] were actually dating!"
Heeseung scowled, crossing his arms over his chest, as he leaned against a locker. Before him stood Yunjin, Winter, Yuri, along with a few other of your friends, Hitomi and Minju. 
"I don't know!" Heeseung huffed. "Everyone is an enemy to me—” he glanced at Yuri— “Including Yuri.”
Yunjin scoffed in disbelief. "You're insane."
Soooo... You weren't in any romantic relationship with anyone. Yuri sent you that letter as a joke, and you were just really close to her. Good.
"I don't know how I feel about this guy getting with our [Name]," Winter muttered to Hitomi and Minju, but loud enough for Heeseung to hear.
"Hey!"
"I know, he's a total dumbass," Minju grumbled back.
"Dude, I'm right here!"
Hitomi rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Well, are you free on Friday after school?"
"Yeah, why?" They always asked Heeseung that question when they had some crazy plan up their sleeve. Not like he was any better.
"Wellll," Hitomi began in a sing-songy voice. "[Name] really wants to go to that Cinnamoroll Sweet Cafe in Hongdae on Friday, but none of us are available."
Heeseung nodded slowly. 
"I think it'd be a good way for you to get closer to her, dontcha think?"
And that's how Heeseung scored his first (unofficial) date with you
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When your friends told you that Heeseung would accompany you to Hongdae, you almost jumped for joy. Almost. Friday couldn't come any faster. The plan was that you'd meet Heeseung at the train station at 4:30PM, meaning that you had a bit of time to change and get ready. You didn't want to get too ahead of yourself and call it a date, but oh boy did you want to.
What were you going to wear? What if you were too formal? Should you go for a casual look or something more put-together? You needed to impress him!
When Friday came, you practically ran home to get ready. You perfected your makeup, and put on your prettiest outfit. Spraying yourself with your signature perfume, you looked in the mirror. Hopefully, he'll like how you look. 
At the corner of your eye, you spot a black, leather jacket. His black, leather jacket. Without even thinking, you slinked toward it, slipping into the jacket. It smelled like him, the faint scent of his cologne lingering on the leather.
With a final glance in the mirror, you left for the train station.
On the other hand, to say that Heeseung was nervous for the date was an understatement. His heart was about to fall out of chest. He changed into something more casual, made sure to brush out his disheveled hair, and reapplied his cologne. He came to the train station 20 minutes early, just in case something went terribly wrong. He glanced at his phone. For the date, he managed to get a hold of your number, for “communication purposes.” He’d wanted to text you all week, but didn’t have the courage to.
“Hee?” your soft voice calling his name got his attention. Behold, you standing there before him, all dolled up and pretty. This must be the sight he’ll see when he enters heaven, he thought. 
“Hi,” he said, his eyes glazing over your face. You were so pretty. Did you dress up for him? He didn’t want to get ahead of himself, but the idea that you wanted to look good for him made Heeseung’s heart skip a beat. “You look…”
He didn’t mean to say that. You smile bashfully. “I look…?”
“So pretty,” Heeseung breathed. “You look so pretty.”
“Thank you,” you smile. Your fingers reach for the hem of his shirt, playing with it, which sends his heart racing. “Well, I think you look handsome, Hee.”
“Th-Thanks.”
The two of you stare into each other’s eyes for a few moments, and Heeseung swears that you’re looking at his lips. You spoke up, breaking the silence. “You notice anything about me?”
Heeseung grasped the collar of his jacket gently with both hands. “My jacket.”
“I was going to give it back to you earlier,” you begin, eyes trained on his lips, “But I think I’ll keep it for today, yeah? Since I look so pretty in it.”
“Oh fuck,” Heeseung cursed under his breath, loud enough for you to hear it and giggle. “Yeah, you can keep it for as long as you want.”
“As long as I want?” you purred, taking a step closer to him. Although it wasn’t clear to anyone else, you were a mess inside. Your heart was palpitating so hard that you could hear it in your ears. Your throat felt dry, and your hands were shaking with mere anxiety and excitement. “What about forever?”
Heeseung cracked a grin. “Do whatever you want. You’re pretty.”
If it wasn’t for the train announcement, you thought you would have kissed his pretty lips right then and there. Taking Heeseung’s hand, you led him to your train cart. 
“Let’s go, Hee.”
The train is much more packed than you expected, but it was the beginning of the weekend after all. The trip from Gyeonggi Province to Hongdae should take no less than an hour. Unfortunately, because of the amount of people in the train, you and Heeseung had to stand for the majority of the time. It should have been uncomfortable, but it simply wasn't. Because you were with Heeseung.
Standing only a few inches away from the boy, your chests almost pressed against each other. You could feel his breath fan your cheeks. The both of you held onto the pole, hands barely brushing against each other when the cart shook against the rails. 
At some point, the shaking was a lot more aggressive than it had previously been. Instinctively, your hand reached for his broad shoulders for stability. Likewise, Heeseung reached for your waist, holding you in place. You and Heeseung shared a long, drawn-out look, eyes getting lost in one another's, before you both avert your gazes shyly, muttering, "sorry." Yet, neither of you moved your hands from their newfound positions.
As minutes passed on the train, your eyes were glued to Heeseung, at least when he wasn't watching. 
You loved the reddish blush that naturally decorated his under-eyes, and the natural corally red at tinted the tip of his ears. His glossy eyes and heart-shaped lips had to be your favorite feature of his, if not for his large, yet delicate hands, so gentle and soft.
You were deep in thought when you suddenly felt a hand creeping on your leg. Nimble fingers from behind, brushing up against the hem of your dress. From the corner of your eye, you saw an older man. He looked unkempt and scruffy, like a delinquent– but nothing like Heeseung. Heeseung looked much better than him.
The man reeked of cigarettes and musk. A nasty grin spread across his face as he peered down at your exposed legs. His hands creeped toward them again, now slightly pushing your dress up. Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip, your entire body stiffening. Your heart began to pound in your chest, your cheeks and skin feeling hot. 
Panic overtook your system. Your once soft breaths became much shorter and quicker, inhaling and exhaling shallow air.
You’ve never been in a situation like this; you’d  never wished, thought, or even considered something like this happening to you– why would you? You had no idea what to do, and were not at all prepared for this. The train was packed to the brim, this man was much bigger and stronger than you, and you did not know how to fight.
The hand moved past your skirt, now under it and directly in contact with your skin. The hand felt dirty, brushing against you. A small frantic whimper escaped your lips when the man’s hand squeezed your bare thigh. It was a small sound, barely audible in the vast bustle of the subway. However, someone did hear it.
Heeseung, doe-eyed and lost in his own world, immediately darted his eyes over to you the moment he heard a sound of discomfort. 
When your eyes met, you could only signal helplessly. Your gaze was wide, pupils dilated, with fear and panic. Heeseung’s eyes narrowed, staring into your eyes for a moment before analyzing your expression. The way you were extremely tense and overwrought casted a sense of suspicion in his head, and your eyes that were seemingly pleading him made him think.
Help, your eyes said.
Heeseung’s dark eyes flickered from your face, to your entire body language, and back to your face, before he spotted a few, foreign fingers creeping around your leg area.
Your shifty eyes kept moving from Heeseung’s to the side, but now that he looked at it, it was like they were pointing behind you. And lo and behold, behind you was a musky pervert, who was shamelessly touching you.
“[Name]…” he whispered. His fists clenched, teeth gritting. He sucked in a deep breath, feeling anger build up in his stomach. You whimpered again in response. He brought a hand to ghost over your shoulder, pushing you very, very, gently to the side. “Move.”
He wound up his fist and sent the hardest punch he could muster to the man square in the jaw.
The man lurched back immediately, his hand moving far, far, away from you. A groan left his lips, his head being thrown back in pain. The man’s fall had pushed a few other people down as well. Other bystanders watched on in shock. Some took out their phones to record and take pictures, others to tell their friends.
You just stood still, leaning into Heeseung, whose fist was a faint red color. With a very careful hand, he brushed the lifted hem of your dress down, which had been messed with earlier.
The man quickly got up once he noticed the new and tense silence over the subway cart.
“Hey!” he shouted, pushing himself up from his downtrodden position. “You little punk, who the fuck do you think you-”
The train announcer called for the stop. Heeseung, ignoring the man, took your arm, pulling you out the door. Before he himself left, Heeseung landed a kick to the man’s crotch, muttering, “Fucking bastard.”
"W-Wait, Hee-!"
Heeseung was silent as the train doors opened, only pulling you along with him. When the two of you were far from the train, he finally stopped, turning to you.
"Are you okay?" was all he asked. You shifted uncomfortably at the thought of what happened earlier.
"Y-Yeah..." you played with the hem of his jacket sheepishly. "Thanks for what you did back there."
Heeseung jolted up at the mention. He didn't love using violence, despite his 'delinquent' reputation, especially in front of you. His hands joined yours at the hem of his jacket, shyly brushing up against yours. 
"Next time," he began, beginning to play with the zipper, "I'll fight every person on that train so that you can sit."
You smiled softly. "You don't have to do that, Hee."
Heeseung slowly zipped up his jacket on you, meeting your eyes, before straightening out your collar. 
"But I want to," he breathed. You gazed at him. His hands were still on the collar of the jacket, close to your face. You noticed the red smudges on his knuckles from punching the man on the train. You took that hand, opening it up, and nuzzling your cheek into it. You took his other hand. To Heeseung's surprise, you pressed soft kisses on his knuckles, rubbing them with your thumb.
"What are you..." his breath hitched when your eyes flickered to his, holding steady eye-contact. 
You pressed one last kiss on his palm. "Thank you, Hee. Really."
"Of course, [Name]," he finally whispered. "Anything for you."
And so, your first date with Heeseung began.
The sweet scent of cinnamon and pastries hit your noses the moment you guys stepped into the Cinnamoroll Cafe. When you were seated, you took a look at the menu. So far, the date was going smoothly. Other than the run-in at the beginning, the chemistry between the two of you was sparking. The conversation was flowing, and if that already wasn't a dream come true, you kept touching Heeseung. On your end, you were practically vibrating in your seat with the sheer amount of excitement you had bubbling in you. You couldn't believe you were on a date with the Heeseung Lee sharing a strawberry banana parfait. 
"Hee," you said, motioning him to come closer to you. He did, so you cupped his cheek, bringing your thumb up to wipe a stray piece of the parfait from his cheek. 
"Oh-" Heeseung's face reddened. How embarrassing! Did you think he was a slob now? You only giggled, bringing both hands up to hold his face. You squished the boy's cheeks, laughing at the way his brows cutely crashed into each other.
"You're so cute, Hee," you said, playing with his cheeks. "The cutest."
That's all you, he thought. You're going to drive him crazy.
Or, at least he thought he thought.
Did he just say that out loud? Heeseung groaned when you threw your head back laughing, hiding his own face in your palms. You chuckled.
Feeling bold, you cupped his cheeks again. You leaned closer, holding his face close to yours. You kissed a soft and chaste kiss on his nose. You couldn't help the heat that rose to your cheeks as the boy flopped over the table, hiding his face in his arms. You ran your fingers through his hair comfortingly, cooing at his cuteness.
"You can't do this to me," Heeseung murmured.
You laughed. It wouldn't hurt to tease him a little more, right? You leaned down, giving the boy another kiss. This time, though, you kissed the top of his head.
"Hee, baby, you're just the cutest, you know that right?"
Heeseung combusted.
After the Cafe, Heeseung and you walked around the Hongdae Festival Street. By now, it was beginning to get darker outside, the air cooling down. It was cold, but to Heeseung, it was perfect, because now he had an excuse to hold your hand. As the two of you walked and talked, you enjoyed the sight of the lights and bustling street. 
Suddenly, a new voice interrupted the two of you's conversation. Turning around, you saw two guys who looked around your age. They were holding a camera and a microphone.
"Hi!" they said, smiling. "We're interviewing couples in Hongdae, would you guys like to be in it? We’ll blur your faces."
Heeseung glanced your joined hands, then back at the two guys, then back at your hands, "O-Oh, we're not a coupl—"
You cut him off. "Of course, we'd love to!"
You flashed Heeseung a grin, squeezing his hand twice, almost as if to say, 'Just go with it.' His ears began to burn, his neck prickling with warmth, before clearing his throat. "Y-Yeah..." he squeezed your hand, "We'd love to."
The two guys cheered, turning on their camera. "All right, first question. How did you guys meet?"
"We went to middle school together," you were quick to answer. "I thought he was really cute, but we didn't start talking until this year."
You didn't know what the fuck you were saying. Was it risky to be so truthful for an internet interview, right in front of your long-time crush? Absolutely. But your heart was pounding so hard in your chest, simply waiting for Heeseung's response.
On the other hand, Heeseung's mind was in complete shambles. Were you telling the truth? The way you answered so smoothly with absolutely no hesitation made it almost seem natural.
"And you?" the interviewer asked. "What did you think about her when you first met?"
"I—" Heeseung's breath hitched. "I thought she was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen."
The way you glanced at him made Heeseung's heart feel like it was about to fall out. "I.. I still think that."
Your expression was unreadable, your lips pressing into a thin line. Then, a huge smile broke out on your face.
"Awww, Heeeee! I didn't know you thought about me like that!" You squeezed his hand again, and he squeezed it back.
"How long have you guys been together?" the interviewer asked.
"We just started dating!" You answered enthusiastically, a weird, surprised sound coming from Heeseung.
The rest of the interview went smoothly, with you mostly answering the questions. You quietly thanked the interviewers, and you and Heeseung were on your way.
Your words kept ringing in Heeseung's head.
Especially your answer to the question, "Why did you like him?"
You answered, "Because he's so perfect."
Heeseung? Perfect? He couldn't believe his ears! Were you telling the truth?
A calm silence fell over you and Heeseung as you walked the bustling streets of Hongdae. That question lingered in his mind, and before he knew it, his mouth was moving faster than his mind.
"Did you mean anything you said?"
His voice seemed to reverberate against the night air, ringing in his ears. You chewed on your lip. Then, you sucked in a sharp breath.
"Of course, Hee," you finally answered. "If it's you, I mean everything."
Heeseung sucked his bottom lip into his teeth, biting down so hard he drew blood. Once again, his hands found home on the hem of his jacket draped over you. 
"Good." He couldn't meet your eyes, not with the knowledge that you meant everything you said. He forced his attention onto the hem of the leather jacket that you were wearing, too shy to look at you. 
Heeseung only looked up when he felt your thumb pressing against his lip, eyes widening.
"Don't bite your lip too hard, Hee," you said, a smile in your voice. You thumb swiped against his lip, wiping off the small blotch of blood on it. "You'll bleed, and I'll have to kiss it better."
Heeseung's tongue darted out to swipe over his bleeding lip, brushing against your thumb. "What if I want you to kiss it better?"
"Well, then you better not keep me waiting."
His eyes flickered to your lips. He wanted to kiss them so bad. They looked so soft. What would they taste like? You liked strawberries— maybe they'd taste like that. When he didn't say or do anything, you changed the topic, unable to hide the disappointment in your face.
"Did you mean it?" You asked. "When you said that I was the most beautiful person you'd ever seen?"
"Oh my god, yes," Heeseung said under his breath, eyes still trained on your lips. "Always."
Another silence fell of you two, simply getting lost in each other's eyes. Maybe it was something in the Hongdae air, but Heeseung felt brave. His hand slithered to your waist, bringing you closer to him. When you slid your hands up his chest, resting them on his shoulders, Heeseung audibly gulped. Your faces inched closer and closer, until you could feel his breath against your cheek. You wanted to lean in and close the gap so bad. And you could tell that he wanted to, too.
Just as you were about to, however, the sound of a car honking and tires screeching interrupted you. Heeseung instinctively pulled away, his head whipping around to look at the commotion.
Oh hell no.
You were not going to let that stop you.
You snatched Heeseung's hand, before pulling him with you. You don't know how much you ran, or for how long, but you ran and ran until you found an empty alleyway.
You pushed him against the hard, concrete wall, a bit harsher than you expected too. Holding him by his shoulders, you put all your weight on him, caging him against the wall.
"You'd let me kiss you, right?" you rasped, out of breath.
Heeseung, also breathless, stared at you, lips parted. 
"I thought I already said," he breathed, "Do whatever you want. You're pretty."
With that, you crashed your lips onto his. His lips were soft, a little chapped. It felt so surreal. The scent of his cologne made you feel dizzy. When you pulled away, it was evident that he was feeling the same as you were. 
It was a chaste kiss, but the tension was so thick in the air. Somehow, that made it even more intimate.
"Wow..." was all Heeseung could utter. Under the moonlight, with you pressed up against him, you looked so goddamn pretty. Your face was illuminated with the pale light, making you look like an angel. Was he in heaven? Did he die yet? He wouldn't mind if he died right then and there, now that you (you!) kissed him. "Fuck, you're gonna kill me, [Name]."
"But you'd like it, right? Because I'm so pretty." The teasing tone in your voice would normally make Heeseung melt, but all he could do was grin. 
"You know I would."
The rest of the night, you and Heeseung don't kiss anymore. Not because you guys didn't want to kiss, but because the adrenaline wore off, and now the both of you were shy. It was almost comical, the way both of you completely reverted back to your bashful and sheepish selves, barely able to make eye-contact with each other.
"Thank you for tonight, Hee," you hummed, as you and Heeseung walked to the train station, hand-in-hand. "I had a lot of fun."
He scanned your face. The slight curve on your lips (oh god, your lips, the way the corner of your lip had a smudge of lipstick from kissing him earlier —how badly he wanted to kiss them again) was contagious. "Of course. I had a lot of fun, too."
The train ride back was quiet. You eventually began dozing off, resting your head on his shoulder.
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"You did what?!" was the collective reaction of both you and Heeseung's friends. After that Friday together, you called together all of your friends to your house, to spill the beans. Likewise, Heeseung forced every single one of his friends into his living room.
"Ouuu, you little flirt!" Yunjin exclaimed. Currently, Yunjin, Winter, Hitomi, Yuri, and Minju were seated on your bedroom floor, while you dramatically flopped around on your bed. 
It was now that you explained to your friends your long-time crush on Heeseung, much to their pleasant surprise.
"And then what happened?" Minju asked, filing her finger-nails. "Did you profess your undying love for him?"
You groaned into your pillow. "I can't!"
"Why not?" Winter quirked a brow. "You guys literally kissed."
You let out another groan. "What if he doesn't like me like that?"
Your friends deadpanned.
Heeseung Lee didn't like you. He loved you. They would know better than anyone.
"[Name], honey, you're overthinking it," Yuri nudged you with her foot. "He gave you his jacket. I think that says enough."
"Well, what if I'm just getting ahead of myself and he's just being nice?"
"Girl..."
Heeseung had a similar reaction.
All of his friends stared at him like he just punched their grandmothers.
"You can't be serious right now, hyung..." Sunghoon said, pinching his nose-bridge.
All of his friends were piled onto one couch, while Heeseung laid out on the one across from them, almost like they were in a therapy session. 
"What if she just thinks I'm a good friend?" Heeseung used his hands to speak, theatrically moving them.
"What makes you think that?" Sunoo asked incredulously. 
Heeseung groaned. "[Name] tells Yuri Jo that she wants to marry her and they're good friends."
"Okay, and?"
"Well," Heeseung huffed. "What if [Name] kissed me because she sees me the same way that she sees Yuri?"
"Well, I'm good friends with Jungwon-hyung and I don't kiss him," Riki said matter-of-factly.
"Right..." Jungwon nodded his head slowly. "Hyung, do you really think a good friend would pin you against a wall and kiss you?"
"Do you think a good friend would kiss you three times and then call you cute like a bajillion other times?!" Jake chimed in.
"Let alone choose to keep your jacket?!" Jay sounded tired.
Heeseung clasped his hands together, thinking for a few moments.
"Yes."
All of his friends groaned in defeat.
"You're hopeless."
After a lot of urging and cross-communication between friend-groups, both of your friends managed to convince both you and Heeseung to confess to each other the next Monday.
"What if I faint the moment she says my name?" Heeseung catastrophized to Jay in the school bathroom. 
"Uh, I doubt that, hyung."
Heeseung texted you to meet him under the stairwell, and that was when he was going to confess. On your end, the moment that he texted that, you decided that you'd confess to him then.
When the time came, Heeseung headed out to the stairwell. His hands were clammy, and even when he wiped him on his uniform pants, he couldn't stop the trembling of his hands. What if everyone was instilling false hope in him? Gosh, Heeseung thought he was going to throw up. His stomach was churning, he was going to collapse if he saw you right now—
"Hee?" Your voice broke him out of his internal spiral. Seemingly, there was a halo around you, a light so bright that Heeseung was blinded.
"H-Hi," he stammered, straightening out his posture and clearing his throat.
Your hands were clasped behind your back, leaning forward toward him. "You wanted to talk to me, yeah?"
Heeseung couldn't bring himself to meet your gaze, his shoes suddenly becoming interesting. "Y-Yeah..."
The hallway where the stairwell was located was beginning to feel stuffy. Heeseung had never felt so nervous in his life. He was light-headed, barely able to even balance himself.
"Hee," you reached out to touch his arm, noticing his discomfort. "Let's go outside, okay?"
Going outside should have helped him cool down, but when you shrugged on his leather jacket to combat the cool air, Heeseung realized that there was no way in hell that he was going to get through this confession without dropping dead. 
The two of you walked around the school yard for a few minutes in silence. 
How should he start this confession? He had Sunghoon and Jake write out a script for him, and he spent the entire night memorizing it, but now in your presence he couldn't remember a single word. Should he have written a letter like Yuri Jo? Heeseung couldn't possibly contain himself.
"Hee," you finally said, disrupting the silence. "I have something to tell you."
Heeseung's mind wandered to the worst case scenario. 
You're going to tell him that you're moving across the world to marry the love of your life, aren't you? You're going to say that he's a great friend and that you just got a boyfriend, right? 
No, he needed to tell you his feelings first! If he didn't now, he'd never, and he'd burst into a million pieces!
"M-Me too!" he blurted, stopping in his tracks. 
You blinked at him, then smiled.
Oh, no! It's actually happening!
He could already hear your voice saying, "Hi, Heeseung, my boyfriend just proposed to me and you're invited to the wedding."
You sucked in a breath, parting your lips to speak.
He needed to tell you first! The little demons in his head kept replaying the scene of you asking him to be your groom of honor at your wedding with the love of your life next Saturday. He could hear the marriage officiant announcing, “I now pronounce you husband and wife” at your wedding, and he imagined himself sitting in that little wedding venue holding back tears.
Oh my god, he needed to say it now, or he'll never say it ever!
"Hee, I really--"
Heeseung cut you off. He squeezed his eyes shut, hands balling into fists.
"I like you, [Name]!" he yelled.
.
.
.
You stared at him in disbelief. Or were you flustered? Heeseung couldn't tell. With too much adrenaline in his veins, Heeseung threw away all the preparation and drafted scripts he and his friends made for this very moment.
"I-I.. I like you so much, I'm scared that I'm going to explode!" Heeseung continued shouting at you. He had no idea what he was saying. All he was doing was telling you the thoughts he'd had about you all this time. "You're so, so, so pretty and I can't believe that you're an actual, real, physical, person, and you make me feel so fucking stupid, I can't take it."
Your eyes were bulging out of your head at this point, your jaw dropped. 
"I've never liked anyone like I've liked you, a-and I just wanted to tell you this before you... you go off with someone else!"
Heeseung kept his eyes shut when he was done confessing, letting out a labored breath. There was no way that he could face you. The silence that fell over the two of you made Heeseung's heart sink to the bottom of his stomach. He squeezed his eyes in embarrassment. He gripped the hem of his shirt to relieve the bubbling anxiety inside him. Gosh, he was going to puke.
After a few moments, nothing happened. You didn't say a word. Did you just leave him there standing? Of course, you did. You were probably too kind and angelic to outright reject him. He was a fool to think that he had a chance with you—
Heeseung heard footsteps, and before he could react, he felt a pair of lips on his.
His eyes shot open.
You.
Were.
Kissing.
Him.
!!!
After he confessed!
Poor boy was so stiff, eyes wide.
Did that mean you liked him back?
You pulled away.
Usually, you had a reassuring smile on your face by default. Even during times where you were embarrassed, you almost never showed it on your face.
But this time, your entire face was painted with a flustered expression. Your cute lips jutted out in a mini pout, while your eyes were glued to the ground, avoiding his gaze.
A few pulses passed.
"I... I like you, too... by the way," you murmured.
Another few pulses passed.
You. Liked. Him.
Nonononono wait, was he dreaming?
You.
YOU.
The beautiful, angelic you. 
Liked him.
Without thinking, Heeseung stepped forward, gently grabbing your face.
"You're real, right?" he breathed. When glossy eyes stared back at him, Heeseung felt warmth spread across his chest. Your lips looked so appealing right now, he was craving them again. "I'm not dreaming, yeah?"
You blinked at him a few times. The corners of your lips quirked upward.
"Why, because I'm 'so pretty that you can't believe I'm real?' " your voice had a teasing tone in it, referencing his earlier confession. Heeseung chuckled, letting go of your face so that he could slide his hands to where they belonged: around your waist.
"Just kiss me," he mumbled, looking at you with lidded eyes.
You grinned. "Gladly."
With that, you smashed your lips onto his. Instead of the chaste, soft, kisses that you shared earlier, this one was different. You shoved your tongue into Heeseung's mouth, exploring all its crevices. Poor boy was so surprised that he squeezed your waist, letting out a small whine. The feeling of you smirking against his lips gave him butterflies.
You finally pulled away breathless, but gave him no time to breathe. You grasped his chin, giving you easy control. 
"You drive me so crazy," he murmured against the shell of your ear.
You pressed a kiss at the juncture between his neck and ear. "I drive you crazy?" you cocked your brow.
"You," you muttered. You began pressing kisses down his jaw. 
“Drive.” 
Kiss.
“Me.” 
Kiss. 
“So-” 
Kiss.
"Fucking-" 
Kiss.
"Crazy."
Before you could pounce on him with more kisses, Heeseung, red in the face, flopped over you, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. He let out a cute groan.
"What, are you getting shy on me?" you teased him, running your fingers through his hair. He shook his head against your shoulder, making you coo.
"I can't believe you like me back, that's all," he mumbled, muffled by your shoulder. 
You laughed. "How? I feel like I was so obvious."
Heeseung looked up at you with pink cheeks, frowning. "You don't even want to know how hopelessly in love with you I was."
You quirked a brow at him. 
"Yeah?" You pecked his forehead. "Try me."
Heeseung let out a breathy chuckle. He attacked your lips.
"How about I show you?"
FIN.
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likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated :)
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bohbee · 2 years ago
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Genshin characters reaction when someone's creeping you out
Part 2
Part 1
Masterlist
Characters: Zhongli, Xiao, Kaeya, Diluc. Ayato
Warnings: Creeps, Creeps touching you, sexual connotations [Diluc, Zhongli] Violence [Xiao], empty threats [kaeya]
Notes: if they're immortal you're immortal!!
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Ayato
Your relationship with Ayato hasn't been released yet. People did know he had proposed to a person, though. This allowed both of you to complete your moving process without people bombarding you. You walked just outside of Kamisato Manor after you had just finished emptying your old house. Now, it was time for relaxation. Or so you thought.
Being such a renowned family meant people were always waiting outside of the building, ready to ask questions. They were often moved by the guards, but a few stragglers would always stay in place. You walked along a slightly glowing path, enjoying the fresh air before you walked back. "Uh- excuse me!" An unfamiliar voice called out to you. You turned around, "Hello?" The man smiled at your response. Usually, people would just ignore him. "Why, hello! I - uh happened to see you walk out of the Kamisato Manor.... are you perhaps Mr.Kamisatos lover?" His response was blunt and straight to the point, causing your blood to drain from your face.
"No, no, of course not, haha, I'm just here to visit an old friend." You did a little victory dance in your head at the quick lie you made. The male nodded. "So that means you're single... are you not?" His body got closer to yours. "Well, I- uh- it's complicated!" You stumbled over your words, a pink hue from embarrassment flushed your face. "Seems to me that you are blushing~" he got even closer, causing you to walk backward, but you bumped into something.
You go to turn. However, a familiar sturdy hand placed itself on your hip. The males face drained from any blush it had, his eyes widening. "Why are you pushing yourself on this person?" The noble voice rang out through the air. The man bowed down "S-sir I promise I wasn't. We were just about to go on a date." The creepy male was stumbling over his words, Ayato held an amused smile. "Really? Well, I didn't think that my fiance would get tired of me that quickly" Ayato stated.
The male looked up, shocked. He apologized far too many times and ran off like prey. Your fiance knelt down a little and kissed your ear ever so slightly. "Don't worry about it. He won't say a word, " You nodded and turned around, softly kissing his lips. "You're truly amazing, Mr.Kamisato." he smiled at you, giving you another kiss, leading you back to the manor. "As are you, soon to be Kamisato"
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Diluc
Clicking and clacking glasses could be heard all around the tavern. Tonight was particularly rowdy. People were celebrating the 'fall' of Dvalin. This was definitely the most filled night this Tavern has seen. You turned towards your husband, smiling softly. He walked over to you softly, placing his hand on yours before turning back to his work. Whenever it got busy, you would help him make drinks while he washed the glasses and made food.
"Hey, hot stuff." A voice rang out. You assumed he wasn't talking to you. I mean, it was often for those to flirt near you, so you just continued to do your job. "I'm talking to you." Finally, you look up only to find an adventurer drunk out of his mind glaring at you with hungry eyes. You shivered uncomfortably, going back to work. 'Hopefully, if I ignore him, he'll go away.' However, when you turned, he grabbed your wrist. "H-hey!" You said causing him to smirk.
"A whiney one, huh?" You pull your arm back only for him to yank you forward, half of your body practically across the counter. Kaeya quickly alerted his older brother, Diluc whipped his head around, watching you struggle against the grasp of the man.
The Tavern got quiet, everyone watching Dilucs Wrath as he marched towards the male. His hand gripped the adventures arm, "Watch it!" The drunken male said. "Out." Dilucs tone was cold, making the males grip on your arm loosen, and you slid away. Kaeya and Venti rushed over to check on you. "You can't just kick me out! Who even are you?!" Diluc smirked, "I'm the owner." He grabbed the male by his collar and shoved him out the door. "Come again, and your consequences will be detrimental."
The Tavern went back to its usual business, and Diluc knelt down beside you. Kaeya and Venti moved out of the way after he thanked them. "I'm so sorry, I would've done something sooner." You shook your head as he grabbed your arm, assessing the bruises you had. "It's fine Luc, it happens, plus now everyone knows not to fuck with my husband" he blushed at your words and kissed your arm. "Go ahead and sit with Venti, I'm going to close early." You nodded your head, pecking his lips softly.
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Kaeya
You walked out of your house, making your way to the Knights of Favonius to drop your fiances lunch off. It was a soft breezy day, the sun was out but it wasn't too hot. You made your way up the stairs, carefully not to drop the food. However, as soon as you made it, a fatui member stared down at you. "U-uh hello." You mumbled a greeting and went to walk your way. However, their hand grabbed your arm. "Not so fast," your heart dropped at their actions. People were around, but no one really seemed to notice how uncomfortable you were, so they went on with their day.
"Is there a problem?" You asked nicely, trying to avoid any problems. "Every day I see you, every day you bring food to the Knights, and you ignore my hellos. Why is that?" You were genuinely confused. You knew he never said hello to you. In fact, you made note of him always being stone cold. "There must be a misund-" your voice was cut off by his grip tightening. "You think I'd say it if it was a misunderstanding? Hm?" His voice was filled with fury, you weren't sure what had caused this but you really didn't want to deal with this.
"Listen, I really don't know what's happening. I'm just trying to give my fiance his lunch. " The male smirked."What if I don't let you? " His dark demeanor made your blood drain, and your hands started to shake. However, a hand grabbed your shoulder. "Then I'd have to take you out myself." You fiancé appeared out of the blue, "Yeah, you're not getting away with that. You're under arrest for harassment." He quickly motioned the other Knights to detain him.
He looked back towards you. "You're just irresistible, huh my love? Everyone wants a bite, " he joked around, trying to lighten up the mood, which worked. "Don't worry, my love magnet, I'm off for today."
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Xiao
When it came to dating the anemo yaksha, it meant you HAD to be safe, and if there was any situation, you needed to say his name. But in this one situation you couldn't. A knife was held up to your throat, your arm already aching from being slashed earlier. A singular treasure hoarder behind you. He was randomly yelling commands, causing you to start to hyperventilate. The man smiled at your 'weak' reaction. "Who would've thought... I got lucky after all, huh? " His free arm snaked around your waist as the knife slightly pierced the skin on your neck, a small amount of blood dripping down. You winced and whispered a quiet help. "Go on yell, at this hour no one will hear you," he tightened his grip on you. His breath disgustingly touching your neck. "I'm gonna kill you." The knife dug in deeper. "Xiao," you whimpered quietly. The man went to ask what you said but was quickly slashed down.
It didn't end there, Xiao lost it. You turned away, but your ears still picked up on the slashing of the treasure hoarders body. It quickly came to an end, and Xiao ran over to you, his mask now off. His hand lifted your chin, exposing your neck. "Archons," he muttered and quickly lifted you up, teleporting you to his room in the inn.
"Sit." You did as he said and sat on the bed, slowly removing the fabric from your arm. Your hands shook heavily from the traumatic events that you had just gone through. "Hey. Look at me." The calm voice said, you oked up at your beloved, "I'll help you fight, okay? The demons on the outside and in here, " he poked your head softly. You tackled him in a hug, "Thank you so much," he stumbled back but wrapped his arms around you. "It's my duty, now sit down so I can fix you"
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Zhongli
You sat at the teahouse with your beautiful husband, Zhongli. It was a calm tradition the two of you had for hundreds of years. After your duties, you would both meet up and sit in silence while drinking some warm tea, most of the time reading a book or draw. He excused himself to use the restroom, you nodded and continued to sketch out some drawings.
However, a red-haired male sat down beside you. "What's that there?" You stared at him, he looked awfully familiar. "Do I know you?" His freckled face turned towards yours. He leaned in a little two close to your comfort, causing you to back up a bit. "No, but I can teach you who I am." You shook your head "That won't be needed." The male smirked and grabbed your pencil "Oh yeah then-" he was introduced by a booming voice "Childe. Leave."
He smirked and bowed down, leaving after blowing you a kiss. You look up at your husband, heavily confused. "What was that?" The geo Archon didn't answer. Rather, he grabbed your shoulders, bringing you into a passionate long kiss. "It was a nuisance trying to take What's mine"
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
This highkey sucked💀
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celestie0 · 1 month ago
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hi my friends! hope you're all doing well. just wanted to come on here and share a little updates w you guys (if you're still here lol)
i guess it's been like a month n a half since i formally went on hiatus, and it's been nice! i got kinda sick for a little bit lmfaooo which was tough to manage w school, but i'm better now
although i took time away from my blog, i still delved in writing here n there. i haven't written anything for kickoff since tbh i'm in such a slump w it. but i still have big plans for stuff that happens after ch13, so hopefully i can just push through this next chapter and get to a better place. thanks so much to anyone that is still interested in the story, it means a lot to me. i know i'm so slow w updates and the story has been going on for almost a year now, but the continued support is so sweet! even though i didn't work on writing it these past one n a half months, i still really love it and plan to finish it.
i'm not sure if many people remember that i had this sort of "apocalypse" gojo x reader au about an asteroid being set to hit the earth in three days, and reader n gojo are ex lovers n the impending end of the world makes them break no-contact...yeah i finished writing the first chapter for it and i really love it so far! it's like set in new york which is really fun haha i love stories where new york is kind of its own "character" if that makes sense...it will definitely be a limited series w only 4 chapters or so, but i kinda wanna finish all 4 chapters before i start posting it bc i don't want it to be a drawn out series in terms of posting since i think it'd be best enjoyed in frequent succession if that makes sense
as for ihm, i think i wrote the most for ihm during my hiatus. i finished three chapters for it, but they are shorter chapters (around 3-4k words). i kinda realized one of my biggest reasons for burnout w my fics were the reaaaaallly long chapters...like didn't i have a 22k chapter for kickoff or sumn lol. idk i can't remember. but anyways, yeah the mindset behind the longer chapters was bc i liked each chapter to kinda have its own conflict, build up, tension then resolution in a sense. but it was exhausting to write that way tbh lol. so i think moving forward, for ihm, i will have shorter chapters. i just don't wanna think to much about things anymore, and write from my heart, bc i have a lot of things planned for ihm, and among the criticism i've received for my writing choices vs my own vision for the story, i've realized during my hiatus that the only way i can finish ihm, or any of my storeis for that matter, is if i just.........stop giving a fuck about it. lol idk if that sounds strange to say, but like, i don't want to over-edit anything. i don't want to think too much about redundancy. i don't want to flower things up or cut stuff out. i'm at the point where imma just write a first draft, check for grammarly errors, and then post it. i guess the reason i'm sharing this is because idk if this means that people may enjoy my writing less since i will admittedly be spending much less time on it than i did before, but tbh i realized i find the most joy while i'm writing, and not while i'm editing. so i want to spend as little time on the latter as possible, and if that changes the quality of my work, then so be it.
anyways, hmm as for hiatus. i guess i'm off hiatus now? i really enjoyed being off of tumblr tbh this app has a lot of questionable content at times (esp in jjk community) and it also did wonders for my studying bc i wasn't spending time doomscrolling or shit posting anymore lmfaooo. but as for writing in particular, i think i will start to post ihm again exclusively. i can't say anything about kickoff or my other projects, but i feel comfortable to start posting ihm again.
sorry, i know that i have kept my replies and ask box off for a long time. but i will open them again once i start posting chapters because i really miss interacting with you guys.
anywho, these are my updates lol i'm like not sure how many of my readers are still here or which ones have moved on but that's ok, i'm grateful to anyone n everyone. hope to see you all soon again!
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lawchwan · 6 months ago
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do you believe me? (sanji)
summary: you love sanji, and sure, sanji loves you too, but does he love you the way you do? you're not too sure about his actions... requested: @mooncallerautumn reader: fem!reader disclaimer: reader is possessive and has trust issues, sanji lacks self-awareness, misunderstandings, reader kinda compares herself to nami and robin (but they're all girl girls so dw there's no beef), reader is implied to be a smoker, dom!sanji, sub!reader, cunnilingus, fingering, piv, talks of exhibitionism, kitchen sex, praise kink going brr, Sanji kinda dirty talks, unprotected sex (lets pretend contraceptive exists in the op universe and reader's taking it... also put a condom, you nasties), creampies, honestly Sanji's lowkey off character but idc i want him genre: angst with a fluff (smut) ending a/n: this piece is exactly 3.6k,,, this mayhaps the longest i've written on this account but yeh hope its good regardless :)
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crossposted on ao3
Laughter, banter, and cordial interactions are all actions anyone can implement in any dealings with any individual. Those interactions result in hopefully deeper and more meaningful relationships, no matter way of showcasing them.
That's how Sanji caught your attention, parting ways for you to roam around freely in a room, cooking your special meals, and buying you things that reminded him of you just to name a few. His acts of worship and treating you like a Greek goddess walking amongst humans fluttered your heart like a butterfly setting free of its cage...
But there was more than one Greek goddess, and each goddess could represent her powers, and you saw yourself as one of many with the Sanji acts.
Chivalry is an eloquent quality he pertains within him, an admirable feature that makes you feel safe, protected, and loved...
But you were loved solely by Sanji? He thought he did, but to you, you were just like any other woman he interacted with. You were on the same level as Nami when she requested a tangerine-based dessert and Sanji dropped everything and got it for her, you were on the same level as Robin when she came down the stairs and Sanji kneels down and held her hand gently like she was glass as she gave him a warm smile, you were in the same level as the woman at the market who struggled to get the canned soup at a high shelf only for her to flutter her lashes as a thank you and Sanji got weak instantly. The way he treats them is not any different from the way he treats you.
And that ached your heart that was filled with him and the desire to have him solely.
You felt bad for feeling this way, but god dammit you were selfish. Selfish you were and you didn't give a damn. You wanted Sanji for yourself, but you can't have him because he was unknowingly hurting you with the way he's showcasing his affection towards these beautiful women.
You wanted to hate him but you loved him dammit... you'd hate yourself before you hate him.
Sanji took notice of your distance, the cool breeze that radiated off of you as you walked by him caused the hairs on his neck to stand up straight with a sense of vibration in his spine. He could've sworn the room's temperature dropped when you walk in, but it was only he who could feel it.
He wasn't sure where all that came from, the moment he laid his eyes on you, he saw you like you were a star walking amongst man. He was taken aback by the way you showcase and present yourself in front of him and how beautiful you were.
He thought he did everything that you loved, especially after hearing—rather eavesdropping—the conversation you'd have with the female crew and how much you gush over him to the two female crew. Neither Nami nor Robin could see what you see in him, but they both remain giving you support and valid pieces of advice.
So why would you switch up on him like that?
He also noticed that he'd get a disgruntled response from Nami whenever he served her anything she liked in contrast to her elated reaction, catching him off guard with the negative reaction.
"What the hell is going on?" He once thought to himself, looking down at the kitchen counter in confusion after wiping it, thinking he was alone.
"I never would have thought that you would have a lack of self-awareness, Sanji."
Sanji jumped in his place before turning around to see the source of the voice, only to see Robin standing by the door frame with her arms crossed and a disapproving facial expression plastered onto her sharp-featured face.
However, Sanji being Sanji overlooked that and began his antics before Robin used her devil fruit power to stop him from getting closer to her. He was put back into place as she simply shook her head before walking into the kitchen.
"What was that all about, Robin? That really hurts" Sanji rubbed his shoulders to soothe the restraints Robin gave.
"You're one to talk about being hurt..." Robin scoffed as she walked up the cupboard as if she was looking for something, her usually quiet demeanor was present but it contained an uneasy presence that even Sanji sensed as he eyed her figure walking around. Sanji cocked his head to the side in a baffled manner as he looked away for a little bit.
"What? What are you talking about?" He asked.
"I suggest you go talk to (y/n). She'll probably tell you why everyone's cold towards you... if you so much loved her as you claim to do." Robin calmly griped before walking away, leaving Sanji alone to try to discern Robin's cryptic wording. Sanji sat with himself for minutes, pondering the words Robin had told him. Her words echoed in his head as he deciphered the words.
Until it clicked...
Robin's disapproving confrontations, Nami's cold and irritated responses, and more evidently, your avoidance of him; It was all connecting now. Although he still doesn't understand what he did wrong, he'll have to confront one of you, you being the top priority as he sensed that you were the one who's hurt the most...
The night rolled around and the ruckus of Luffy, Ussop, and Chopper's antics died down, the sounds of the calm sea soared higher underneath the Thousand Sunny, peacefully rocking the ship. Despite the serenity of the boat, it caused everyone to sleep except for Sanji, with his thoughts blasting through his head in contrast to the sounds of light breathing and snores from the crew.
After staring at the ceiling long enough, Sanji left the cabin to grab a smoke to ease himself off. As he came out to the balcony, he spotted you in the distance, your upper body leaning towards the railing, allowing the wind to brush your hair back slightly. Although you gave him your back, he still admired you from afar. The allure you've given your off was a sight to behold, Sanji just couldn't help to admire you a tad bit more than others—or so he thought.
Sanji walked up to you, you knew there was a non-threatening presence eyeing you, but you didn't know nor care to turn around to see who was it, until he spoke.
"Beautiful night, am I right?" Sanji softly said as he stood next to you mimicking your stance. You turned to him wide-eyed with an open mouth, before you went back, not answering him back. Although you were upset with him, you oddly felt comforted by his presence... Could've been worse but you wished he wasn't next to you right now.
Sanji began lighting a cigarette, smoking a few puffs before looking back at you, noticing the somber gaze you had in your eyes. He offered you the lit cigarette in his hand—a norm between the two of you that you shared a cigarette stick—but you once again ignored him, a silence rejection that pained the blonde figure.
"Okay, what's going on?" Sanji blurted, throwing his cigarette away with his eyes narrowed towards you.
Your brows knitted at the confrontation, "What?"
"For the longest time, you've been avoiding me, giving me the cold shoulder, not hanging out with me... What's up?" Sanji expressed as he crossed his arms while facing you fully. You simply scoffed at him with an eye roll and a headshake, which pissed Sanji off.
"Don't give me that eye-roll, I deserve to know what's going on and what I did to deserve this." Sanji chastised. It was unnatural for Sanji to get this upset, but when the person he had been admiring for so long was being cold around him, he couldn't help but feel frustrated.
"Oh, so now you wanna know what's going on?" You sneered at him as you eyed his disapproving face. He wavered his angered expression to a frustrating confusion with his brows wrinkling to a scowl.
"What are you on about? I just wanted to know—"
"Just forget it, Sanji, like you would get it—" You shook your head as you almost walked away until Sanji grabbed your arms and held you closer in place.
"I won't let you go until you tell me what's wrong..." Sanji whispered as he looked at your sunken eyes. You wanted to physically fight him to let you go, but the way he was holding you almost put you in a semi-tranced state, and you just couldn't. You began shaking your head as you began tearing up, hoping that he could just let you go right there when it did way worse than what you wanted.
"Hey, hey, (y/n), my love, what's wrong—"
"Don't call me that!" You sobbed as you sunk your head further and gripped onto his arms, fingernails digging into his skin in hopes of letting you go, but in fact, it was futile. No matter what you did, Sanji kept to his promise; he won't let you go until you tell him... If only he kept himself in other ways.
Sanji just looked at you even more confused, "why not?"
You shook your head once again, hushing out your confession, "I'm not your love... You don't love me..."
"What do you mean? Of course, I love you."
"No, Sanji! You don't love me the way I do!" You shot at him, making eye contact with him.
As soon as those words hit and he had a look at your tear-stricken eyes, that was when Sanji's brain found its final puzzle piece on why the way you were. He replayed back how he would treat the women surrounding him and how it might have impacted him. He thought it was just his usual chivalry act, and you must've taken it the wrong way.
"Yes, yes, I do, (y/n), I've loved you the moment I've met you," Sanji confessed, and you once again shook his head.
"You probably said that to Nami, or Robin, or any girl you meet..."
"That's not true, (y/n), you're nothing like them," Sanji held your face with one hand, stroking your tear-stained face with his thumb, "you're way more special to me than any woman I've encountered.
"You sure have a way of showcasing it—" you scoffed until your words were cut by a warm pair of lips placed onto yours. Your eyes widened as your body stiffened at the contact, you almost gave in until Sanji pulled himself away from you, almost sensing that you were surprised by his action.
"I know I haven't been the best at treating you the way you deserve, and I am so sorry for hurting you and not telling you how much you mean to me, my love," Sanji's eyes and words were genuine and filled with real adoration, his traditional heart eyes were replaced with a glowing halo that meant something way deeper than those hearts he would showcase any women. He held both your hands as he kissed your knuckles, with your lips slightly parted, words were trying to spill but failed.
"You might not believe me now, but give me a chance to show you how much I love—no, I adore you... I'll give you something no woman has ever taken from, I promise you..."
His words may border into desperation, but you couldn't help but be convinced by his wordings and sweet talks as you gave him a small smile and hushed an approval before Sanji dragged you and took you into the kitchen.
It was some time passed since Sanji's confession. You weren't sure how long it had been since you last talked to him, but you simply didn't care as your clothes and Sanji's blouse were discarded somewhere in the kitchen, with him placing himself in between your legs, his hot tongue spreading around your wet folds as you lay across the dining table, moaning out in pleasure. His hair was disheveled with the way you gripped his hair, pushing his face further as if that motion could make his tongue get in deeper.
Sanji moans at the way you are gripping his hair as well as how tasty you are to him. The nectar seeping out of your flower was so ravishing, that he felt like he could turn himself into a bee hoping for more honey.
"Gosh, darling, you taste so divine," Sanji spoke through his licks, looking up at you like you were a goddess. He soon inserts his slender fingers into you while his tongue tackles your clit, resulting in you whimpering out for him. His fingers scissor your walls as he stretches you out with his fingers like he's preparing you for more.
"Mmm~ Sanji..." You mewled.
"Shh, shh, you don't want them to wake up now, do you?" Sanji cooed with a smirk, while his fingers were still pumping in and out of you, "unless you want them to walk in and see you with your legs spread out for me, huh?"
You moaned lightly at the thought of any of the crew walking in and seeing you like this, legs spread out for the cook, eating you out for breakfast, lunch and dinner, something only he can have. Sanji took note at the excitement you were having, which caused him to smile as he got up from his knees.
"C'mere" Sanji exhaled before he fervently placed his lips back into yours, his tongue caressing into yours, making you taste yourself in the process. The hand that was on your thigh to keep you from closing around him ascended up to your neck, wrapping around it lightly.
"Have you tasted yourself?" He rhetorically inquired through the kiss, licking your bottom lips while you continued spilling your pleasured noises.
"Mhm, I know you like it," Sanji amorously giggled, "You tasted so fucking good."
Your eyes were still screwed shut as you felt yourself getting closer to the peak with Sanji's talented fingers. Just like in cooking, he truly knew how to use his fingers to hit the spot, and Sanji knew when it was ready to serve, which was certainly not now. Sanji releases his fingers out of your tight hole, making you whine out which made Sanji purr.
"I know, my love, I know," Sanji pouted as he held your face and squished your cheeks, "but baby deserves more than what she got, and I'm about give it right now."
As Sanji was speaking, he began lowering his already-unbuttoned pants, along with his boxers, releasing his ravenous cock with precum leaking out its dark pink head. You took a peek down at his cock, and your mouth started to drool at the sight, which Sanji smirked at your ogling.
"You want this, don't you?" Sanji smiled sweetly as he placed a strand behind your ear and you began to hold and lightly stroke it, He hissed at the contact while you were entranced by Sanji's parts. Sanji held your wrist and halted motions.
"As much as I want this, lemme take care of you..."
His actions may be fervid and lusting, but the words he let out were filled with fondness and adoration. He laid you down while he teased your leaking pussy, the head just eager to insert it.
"Sanji, please, just put it in~" You begged, and with that, you got an immediate response with Sanji stretching you out, making you mewl out as you threw your head back with a back arch. Sanji ran his lithe fingertips from your collarbone down to your breasts and began massaging the squish plush of your chest as you adjusted to his length.
You two were having a surreal moment, a moment that neither of you, especially you, could have expected to happen. A moment in which you have thought of before going to bed, touching yourself after hours at the thought of Sanji in that similar position that you're in. All the harsh and intrusive thoughts that you felt towards him with the way he treated women melted away as Sanji began moving at a slow pace.
The thrusts left you moaning out as Sanji hushes out strings of praises that left you wetter and wetter.
"Gosh, (y/n), you feel so good..."
"Such a good girl, such a good fucking girl..."
Sanji's thrusts began to become feverish as time goes, the sounds of skin slapping and blissed moans coming from both your and Sanji's lips bounce off the kitchen walls as the wooden table creates slight creaking sounds underneath your bodies, following his rhythm,
"I'm so close—fuck~ you're not that far off either, huh, my love?" Sanji's voice begins to crack as he feels himself about to implode and his thrusts begin to slop away. You were panting and whining mess underneath, struggling to form words in response so you simply just nod.
"Come with me, my love, c'mon," Sanji whimpered softly as he began to hold your hand and his lips attached itself into your neck, giving you the love you ever so deserve.
The volcano in your stomach is about to erupt due to the sheer force of Sanji's hips aided in his cock reaching over to your cervix, giving it multiple kisses at a time. But no amount of thrusts and penetration could have ever given that blissful end until Sanji whimpered out the sweetest sounds with him saying,
"Let me see you come for me..."
And there he has pushed you into that euphoric state as you rolled your eyes back, making you see white. Sanji groaned out as he spilled his all inside of you, leaving the two of you breathless in the process. Sanji landed on top of you, his head on your shoulder as he catches his breath, while you began stroking the back of his head.
Once you gathered your breathes, Sanji lifted himself slightly and pulled himself away to look at the aftermath of what you two had done. Your opening began to ooze out Sanji's load and drip down to the table underneath. You lifted yourself by the elbow and looked down.
"Shit... we eat here, Sanji..." You giggled breathlessly as you lightly scolded him. Typically, Sanji would be upset over a small dust landing on any crevice of the kitchen, but when he sees you with his cum dripping out of you, christening the table, he honestly couldn't care any less.
He leans in once again and attaches his lips to yours, this time in a chaste way. The kiss was pure in contrast to the previous activity you two had, it was a kiss, however, of what's akin to an overdue longing, a longing that was desperate to be released and given by someone specific, and you two were the main target for each other.
He pulled away, his head was placed onto yours as he smiled at you breathlessly.
"Now do you believe me? Now do you believe that I'm madly in love with you?" Sanji whispered, eyes filled with adoration.
Your eyes softened and gleamed as it matches up and mirrored his exact emotions.
"I do... I absolutely do..."
Bonus ending:
It was the next day, and Sanji was seen rushed to the kitchen to cook up something for the crew. He woke up slightly later than usual, which Robin and Nami took notice of as they had woken up before the rest of the crew, sitting on the sunbeds by the deck. Sanji greeted them hastily—uncharacteristic of him—with a quick smile and wave as he walked into the kitchen and instantly got into cooking, meanwhile, you showed up moments later...
They took notice of your odd walking, there was a slight wobble to it, seeming as though you were attempting to hide it. Robin and Nami just smirked at each other before looking back at you as you walked up to them.
"Hey, girls!" you beamed as you sat on the empty sunbed next to Robin.
"You seem to be in a lively mood," Robin acknowledged as she looked at the book she was reading, meanwhile Nami lightly chuckled, "Yeah, it's been a minute since I've seen you this cheery," she added.
You simply shrugged and opened your mouth to respond, only for Sanji to come in with drinks at hand.
"While breakfast is getting prepared, I've got you beautiful ladies your drinks," Sanji announced with the tray, beginning to distribute the drinks, and when he got to you, leaned down as he whispered to you "and I made this extra special just for you." He winked as he handed you the drink his hand grazed yours longingly, making you chuckle in timidness.
As Sanji was about to walk away, Nami and Robin respectively began commenting at earshot of his, pretending to be chatting with you.
"I see you and Sanji have made up..."
"Yeah, could've fooled me with that afterglow."
It was like it was purposeful, with Sanji stumbling on his steps and you choking on your drinks, making you cough and Sanji turn red as he ran to the kitchen.
"Robin! How could you?! You made poor (y/n) choke!" Nami feigned offense with a laugh and a slight nudge toward Robin as the dark-haired girl just simply chuckled.
You simply just shook your head as you rolled your eyes with a smile, "I hate you two..."
Your response made the two girls laugh.
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characters are owned by oda. i will not tolerate nor accept translation, reposts on other websites, or plagiarism. divider made by mmadeinheavenn.
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369 notes · View notes
ambrosialdesire · 1 month ago
Text
bloodsports
[ PART ONE ] [ PART TWO ]
18+ DARK CONTENT BELOW, MINORS AND BLANK BLOGS DNI
pairing: modern au!reiner x fem!reader word count: 13.6k warnings + tags: general yandere and obsessive themes, explicit sexual content, unhealthy relationships, misogyny, public humiliation mentions, sorta an unbalanced power dynamic, a/b/o dynamics and themes, modern & college/university au, alpha & hockey player jock reiner (will be sorta ooc but ig you can count it as his s1-3 soldier persona), omega reader, enemies to sorta friends to enemies again to lovers (but both reiner and reader are stubborn dumdums and it's sorta one-sided), bertolt x reader implications, heavy jealousy/possessive themes, heavy self-sabotage, alcohol consumption, violence & blood warning, "fated" mates, usage of suppressants, unwarranted scenting, kinda scenting kink?, pheromone-bombing, size difference, size kink, noncon kissing, all characters are 18+ synopsis: trying to get through uni should've been easy, but presenting as an omega made you become a seemingly easy target for the many disgusting alphas that roamed the campus. no matter how much suppressants you took, you unfortunately just had to grab the attention of the most notorious one out there. the university's famed center in ice hockey, reiner braun. to you, he was nothing but a godforsaken, meatheaded annoyance. a/n: i am not one of god's strongest when comes to a/b/o or the omegaverse LMFAOO LIKE I CAN'T DENY IT, SUMN ABOUT IT MAKES ME GO ABSOLUTELY FERAL AND IDC WHAT OTHERS THINK 👺👺 anywaysss, yea it's another hatefuck reiner fic that i decided recently to make a two parter LOL i made reiner a hockey player because i kinda like hockey more (i watched one game irl with my sibling and it was hella cool even tho the team we were cheering for lost 💀 the state pride was crazy, i had no idea how irritating it was hearing the other team fans cheer 😭) but i'm really really new to the sport so forgive me if i make some mistakes about it lol (i did modify it a little so it can be more dramatic and violent lol) happy valentine's day (ik this late AFFFFF LMFAO) and hope you guys enjoy this! the second part will hopefully come not too far behind, maybe in december once i'm freed from school haha note: please keep in mind of the tags above and do not proceed if triggering or uncomfortable, especially if you are a minor!! do not read my or any other writers' dark content if you are underaged. this is a fictional work and does not reflect irl morals, do not believe this is how a real romance works or functions.
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚.───
"You're coming to my game, right?"
The sudden weight on the table of someone leaning upon it on the other side caused it to creak, but you didn't have to look up to know who it was. The wafting smell of warm, spiced vanilla with vague, yet noticeable earthy tones wrapped around you like a familiar heated blanket. No matter how nice it smelled, it only bubbled irritation within you. You continued writing your notes, ignoring the looming presence.
"Omega, answer and look at me." A chill ran down your spine and your head felt heavy once he spoke, the demand stern and clear. You didn't want to answer him, but your secondary gender was scratching at your brain like a persistent fly. Answer him, answer your alpha.
You stubbornly pinched your leg once to get yourself out of it before finally looking up at the man himself, narrowing your eyes at him.
"Can't. Have finals tomorrow. Also, don't ever do that shit to me or call me that."
He scoffed and rolled his eyes, already knowing he wasn't going to take that as an answer. "You weren't answering me and c'mon, it's only for a few hours babe. Who wouldn't come to their alpha's big game today?"
"Me because you're not my alpha and I'm not your babe. Go find some other omega that drools over you because this one isn't going." You grumbled as you stood up, beginning to collect your stuff to get back to your dorm. He grabbed your wrist before you got your notebook, pulling you towards him, eyes were gleaming with determination.
"Come to my game and I won't bother you anymore. I promise."
You pulled your arm out of his grasp with a frown, quickly debating in your mind. Could you trust him?
On one hand, it would be nice to not get disturbed by him anymore. But on the other, that means you have to be packed in a stadium with sweaty alphas and a handful of excitable betas and omegas for an hour or two. The smell would be awful and overwhelming, false ruts and heats would get triggered easily from the adrenaline. You didn't even like ice hockey or any sport in general, too many alphas dominated the industry.
You bit back a heavy sigh, finally deciding on your answer.
"Ugh. I'm holding you to that promise then Reiner. No randomly showing up at my dorm, no waiting for me at the end of my classes, don't have your friends try and check up on me for your behalf either. Got it?" His hazel eyes lit up immediately and he nodded, his smile wide.
"You got it babe, I'll pick you up at 6."
You were about to tell him off about the pet name but he ran off, whooping in the quiet library while slamming the doors open. A few of the students' and staffs' glares went over to you, causing you to grimace before finally picking up your notebook. What the fuck have you gotten yourself into?
Life wasn't like this before. For a year and half, you've had an alpha cling onto your every move as if you've claimed one another. It may seem like that to him but you definitely didn't want anything to do with him. All Reiner did was bring a mix of trouble to you, a burden that you never wanted. Your secondary gender was supposed to be a hidden secret for only yourself to know — the prescribed supplements made sure of that — and you were supposed to present as a beta in order to live a peaceful university life. How painfully frustrating it was to be found out from a simple error in your day-to-day routine.
You were in a rush, you're human after all, and forgot to take them before you left your dorm. It wasn't until you entered your class when a brick of strong smells bitterly hit your nose, something that never happened before. One day and that's all it took for everyone's eyes to latch onto your frame, the horrifying hunger glimmering in the darks of their pupils.
You froze, unable to move from the doorway. The vileness of their stench rang alarms in your head, they were all sour and distasteful with every short whiff you took. It was overwhelming, heavy, and nauseating. You knew what they were all thinking, internally debating whether you should run back to your dorm or transfer.
A large arm had made its way around your shoulders, pulling you closer to their body. You panicked at first until a whiff of something sweet in the air stopped you. A spiced vanilla enveloped your senses with every breath you took and like a switch, your body immediately calmed down, unintentionally leaning closer to them to continue feeling this sweet relief.
"Hey." You tilted your head up at the person who was currently holding you by the neck and felt dread quickly fill up your stomach once more.
Reiner Braun, one of the most notorious womanizers on campus and the university's proclaimed players in ice hockey.
Reiner Braun, smelling like a freshly baked pastry, slinging his arm around you while unintentionally managing to bring you back to your senses.
Reiner Braun, whose face is suddenly way too close and you could just barely feel the brush of his lips against yours.
Your face burned up at the realization and you shoved him off you, eyes wide and mouth parted open in shock as you watched him stumble back to reality. What the fuck just happened and why the fuck did he smell so good out of everyone here? He looked like he was appalled by what he did as well but recovered faster than you did, a sly smirk growing on his face.
"Hey omega, just a head's up. The next time you come to class, don't smell like a sweet treat for us alphas alright?"
You thought you couldn't burn up even more than before, your body beginning to tremble in complete rage and mortification as the students began to howl in amusement. All of your emotions were pumping through your system all at once way too quickly and you finally ran out of the class, tears brimming on the edges of your eyes. There was no way you could handle being in there for another second. The boisterous laughter faded away in your eardrums and once you got far enough from prying eyes and ears, you collapsed to the ground and nearly sobbed your heart out.
You knew attending this university would be difficult but never in your life did you think you'd be humiliated in this way, just for one stupid little mistake. To alphas, any mistake that wasn't from their pretentious clique meant your life, your downfall, everything. It becomes a weakness to exploit and use, like a deer with a broken leg completely surrounded by a pack of starving wolves.
All you could think about over and over as you finally made it to your dorm was:
Fuck Reiner Braun.
‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’
After that day, you made sure to take your supplements on time with an alarm. Regardless of that, you still felt skittish once you stepped foot in that damn class again. Not because of the possibility that the knowing glances of your classmates would come your way, but the fact that Reiner would not leave you alone ever since he embarrassed you.
When you finally went back to that class in the next lecture, you placed yourself all the way in the back corner than your usual spot, trying to hide yourself away until everyone forgot about the incident. It seemed that your humiliating moment had faded away quickly like a passing breeze since no one looked your way as the seats began to fill up one by one. It was not until you heard the familiar laugh of him, only then you started getting nervous.
You stared down in your notebook, trying to look as busy as possible but the shuffle of a heavy bag and a body sitting down next to you in the loudest way possible confirmed your worst suspicions.
"Good thing you saved a seat for me, that’s so nice of you omega." Reiner congratulated you in a false manner and you grimaced, turning your head towards him. He wasn't looking at you but he was smiling as he looked to the front of the room. You had to force yourself not to stare at his body, which was a mental battle in itself when his pheromones were as strong as ever.
He most likely exercised before coming here, a faint sweat stain on the chest of his white cut-off tank top confirming your thoughts. The tank top was hiding little to the imagination, loose enough to where you can see his sculpted muscles from the side but tight enough to where it accentuated his chest. He was manspreading — a common occurrence in those who were considered to be extremely prideful alphas — and wearing dark gray sweatpants.
You didn't mean to but your gaze slightly wandered a little more down, heart nearly stopped in your chest when you just barely spotted the faint outline of his half-hard cock against the fabric. He was... big and if that was him barely aroused, wow. You'd pray for those that let this son-of-a-bitch hit another time.
The usually dormant annoyance in your brain wanted to get down on her knees and suck him off till he got hard in her mouth, but you had to viciously fight her back into the deep crevices of your mind. You don't know why the urge was so strong, the meds you took usually gave you no sexual desires towards anyone. Maybe you need to up the dosage? You'd have to make a doctor's appointment soon because you don't know if you could stand this new disgusting pervert inside you.
It would be the coldest day in Hell if you ever let Reiner fuck you.
"I have a name, use it or fuck off." You turned back to your notebook and he chuckled in amusement.
"You got a bite now omega? Where was she the last time we spoke?"
"Maybe she would've been there if she wasn't on the verge of a breakdown. Fucking asshole." You muttered the last bit, starting to ignore him once the professor finally entered the class. Cracking your knuckles and opening your laptop to the latest powerpoint, you began writing down the important points of what was in the week's module. It took you nearly half of the three hour long lecture to notice that he didn't make any sound, no writing or keyboard clacking or any tapping from his phone. Your peripherals just barely caught the sight of him and your skin ran cold.
Reiner wasn't paying attention to the lecture. You started to practically feel the absolute intensity of his stare, burning two deep holes into the side of your face. The chair lightly squeaked as he suddenly moved closer to you, the audible sound of him sniffing at you came after.
What the fuck was his problem? You quickly inched yourself away from him, backing into the wall but he followed suit almost immediately. His large frame nearly engulfed yours, the sheer heat of his body radiating off as he neared you.
He sniffed once above your head, then again and again as if he was searching for something. Thank God you decided to shower this morning. The tense atmosphere between the two of you grew thicker with each passing second until his hazel eyes narrowed, the corner of his mouth twitched in faint irritation.
"...You don't smell like anything." Reiner sourly muttered before pulling away, giving back the needed space.
"Uh... yeah? I got back on track with my meds." What was up with him? Reiner had never once spoken to you before the incident, in the class and out of it. In this class in particular, you've usually seen him on his phone, napping, or quietly chatting with the nearest poor soul.
He's known to not fool around with your kind, back when you were still portraying yourself as a beta. Why would he? To them, betas were boring and basic. They weren't alpha enough to be considered to be one of them and not omega enough to fuck. His preferences were pretty out there in whispers and giggles too, so it's not like he would need a reason to talk to you unless it was to get his dick wet for the night. That seemed to be the plan in mind since he was continuously interacting with you.
"Why would you?" Reiner nonchalantly questioned, as if he wasn't the one of the reasons why you take such heavy supplements. Your eye twitched, your fingers tightening around your pen.
"Are you seriously asking me that?" You scowled, watching him shrug and lean back onto the chair.
"Yeah, why not? You're the first omega I've met with a scent that's not doused in cheaply made perfume, it's..." He stopped, thinking of the right words before finally settling on one. "Original."
You scrunched your nose, conflicted with what he just described. He is the talk of the campus, most if not all omegas would've loved to be marked by him; no wonder they try to court him with different concoctions. Then again, he could just be saying that to get into your pants. Original, ha! If he liked this so-called originality, he should find it in someone else.
"I'm not interested y'know, not after what you did last time."
After you said that, all the words seemed to die in his mouth. He became quiet for the rest of the lecture and you didn't have the courage to look back up to see his expression. The silence was a simmering awkwardness, and you could only try and listen to the professor as much as you could. His smell was now twisted with a dullness to it, almost bland and distasteful like the rest of the room. When the lesson finally ended, you started to zip your bag close and pull it through your arms, until his hand grabbed the strap and lifted it up onto his own shoulder.
"What do you think you're doing?" Panic bubbled in your chest as you tried to grab it back but he kept maneuvering out of your reach, a playful smile growing on his lips.
"Think of this as an apology to you omega. I'll walk you to your next class." Your heart dropped to your stomach, the last thing you needed was even more people staring at you, especially with the campus fuckboy in tow.
"You really don't have to and don't call me that." Reiner snorted as he walked down the stairs, you having no choice but to follow him.
"What else can I call you if you haven't told me your name yet?" He held the door open for you, readjusting the bags he was holding. You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms.
"Why offer to walk me to my next class when I don't even know your name?" It was a lie, of course everyone knew him just by the simple utter of his name, but he laughed at your simple comeback, genuinely laughed. It didn't sound like it did when he poked fun of you that one day, your face starting to lightly flush warm.
"Fair enough. Name's Reiner, Reiner Braun. One of the University of Marley Warriors centers." You slightly cringed at the title, he just had to add that fact in. Oh well, might as well play along just a little.
"Y/N L/N, one of the many second year students in the University of Marley."
He laughed once more and nudged you on the back with his elbow, letting you take the lead.
"You're a funny girl Y/N."
You had to ignore the way your stomach fluttered from the way he said it, picking up your pace. Remember, you had to remember that he caused you a turmoil of anguish for a near week. All you were going to give him was this moment and that's it.
"Thanks."
Now that you think back on it, how silly it was for you to think that this was the last time he was ever going to talk to you.
‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’
There wasn't a minute in your day where Reiner wasn't in your presence.
Nearly every day for roughly five or six months since you've started talking to one another, he'd manage to find you and socialize. He'd give you a small snack or drink too, ruffling your hair once you took it from his hand and sitting down in the seat next to you. Every day was a different topic that he asked, ranging from simple questions to a little more personal ones. You knew he was trying to pry whenever you didn’t say much about yourself so you've revealed only a few tidbits, nothing big. Sometimes he needed studying help and you didn't mind tutoring him about the subjects you were sorta knowledgeable in. He always seemed so interested and focused in whatever you say, so hey, at least he was a decent listener.
He started rejecting hang-outs with his friends and teammates, all to simply talk to you. It's crazy how often he did it, a few times occurring in front of you through phone calls. He'd only mentioned his teammates when he tried to invite you to numerous practices, implying that he wanted them to meet you. You turned him down about it for the first few times, creating excuses to not go, until you got tired of him asking and finally begrudgingly agreed.
Watching him practice made you realize one thing about him: Reiner loved to play dirty.
Of course since you were merely a new bystander of the sport, it might've been one of the core strategies of how to win in hockey. Yet the more you observed, the more you noticed how he treated everyone on the ice, friend or foe. He told you before that centers did a lot for their team and were known to be more on the offense, even when defending. You thought the role was perfect for him, considering how he started this whole "friendship" thing with you. However, the way he treated you was nothing compared to how he treated the sport.
It was like watching an illegal cage fight from the way he quickly sped towards the puck, viciously slamming into others to make way. A frightening sight indeed, maybe even more for the ones on the ice as they were the ones he barreled his shoulders into their chests and sides. You can't remember how many times you flinched watching an unfortunate player get rammed into the plastic barrier by Reiner, the heavy sound echoing throughout the stadium. Everyone on the opposing team was merely his punching bag and though they can get a few hits in, you could tell that they couldn't handle the constant confrontations. He didn't care that they were still his teammates and that this was merely a practice game. To lose is to lose and for an alpha, that could never be an option.
You never told him this, but you never liked the look in his eyes that he gets whenever he played, the darks of his pupils blowing out the once-warm hazel color with a carnal and exhilarated intensity within them.
Regardless of his violent attitude, Reiner genuinely worked well with his team, whomever was on his side at least. He especially got along with whoever jersey number 60 is — the only hint being that his last name is Hoover — and who was noticeably taller than anyone else on the team. The two were extremely compatible, making the smoothest passes that whenever you blinked, it would seem that the other had the puck in the first place.
The strangest part of it all was that he'd make you wear his jersey afterwards, that's also somewhat the reason why you stopped coming over to his practices besides the extreme harshness of the sport. It was way too intimate for him to be sharing a highly scented object to a friend but you've tried refusing, saying that you hated the stink and it was still wet with sweat. Reiner never really cared about what you said about it and pulled it over your head, the fabric hanging loosely mid-thigh. You hated how calm it made you feel and how every time he asked for it back, you'd hesitate.
Even if he did like you, you don't know why he was being overly friendly. Was it because you were an omega that he had to be nice to you? You tried not to think about it like that since you were slowly getting used to his presence, as if he became a part of your routine.
He never pushed anything sexual onto you either like you originally thought he was going to. Sure, he'd make a weird comment or joke here or there but it never really made you uncomfortable or escalated into something else. Your feelings towards him simmered down to a level of neutrality, not quite at peace from what he did but not as angry as before. Did he feel bad for his actions? He never really said an actual apology to you, but is that really why you still find him aggravating to be around with?
"You're such a study bug, don't you know how to have a little fun?" Reiner skimmed his fingers against the already-read pages, your bodies squished side-by-side, one of his arms wrapped loosely around your waist as the two of you read your textbook together. You don't know why or when but you started to not mind the physical contact with him anymore; you chalked it up to it being the winter months and you were cold as hell, he was basically the closest thing to a portable heater. Your physician upped the dosage of your meds as well and there was a noticeable difference, but it didn't seem to deter the thoughts you were having about Reiner. They probably would’ve faded away if not for his constant presence.
"I don't have time for fun, unlike you with your full-ride and sports." You muttered as you flipped the page, eyes skimming over the new paragraphs. He groaned and rested his head on top of yours, taking in a deep breath. You’ve noticed that he was more touchier with you compared to his other friends that you once watched from afar before, but you’ve gotten used to it for the past few months.
He was silent for a few pages until you could feel his fingers trail up against your scent gland, your body immediately freezing up. He shouldn’t be touching you there, a shiver going up your spine as you felt his fingertips rub light circles around it. You couldn’t stop him, not when your brain was currently being scrambled with the feeling.
"Your smell is still not there." He off-handily murmured, finally removing his hand from your neck and letting you collect your thoughts again.
You swallowed thickly, trying to clear your throat. "I think you forget that I take heavy suppressants."
"Why do you? Do you really not want to fuck anyone any time soon?" You cringed at his wording, meeting his eyes.
"Well yeah, pretty much. I want to focus on school, not constantly wonder if I'm going to suddenly go into heat around an alpha. And it's a guaranteed protection, I don't want to get accidentally marked this early in my life." You could feel his hand squeeze and knead at the meat of your hip, knowing that he was in thought.
"I don't know if our class remembers what sub-gender I am but you certainly do, you were literally in trance when you met me," You pointed out, feeling your skin prickle warm as you thought back on the memory. "And it was my mistake, I didn't mean to get off of them and do that to you. I'm pretty much protecting myself and others from doing something... irrational."
What he didn't know is that having no heat at all for months at a time had made you indescribably horny, but you've been managing it so well that you really didn't need any outside assistance at all. Him being the only alpha that hangs around you on a day-to-day basis and consistently touching you has not made the thoughts any better than they were before, but you forced those damn heinous ideas in the back of your mind every time. Bothersome they were and you tried to not let it get to you as much as possible.
Reiner nodded slowly, closing his eyes. "Well if you do get into a heat, I'm available for use."
You gasped, quickly jabbing your elbow into his side, causing him to flinch from the feeling and laugh almost aloud in the quiet library. "God, don't say that here!"
"It's true! There's a line-up of omegas that need help through their heats, I'm not the only one that's getting something out of it. They need a knot and I give it to them." You don't know why but hearing him admit that made you almost freeze and feel your stomach drop. Every time you're reminded of his reputation, something in you twists in an unpleasant way. It's strange. You have no reason to feel this way when you don't even like him in any romantic sense.
"I'd rather not hear about your many conquests, thank you very much." His eyes connected to yours and you tried not to pull away, trying not to feign anything that would give you up.
"Don't tell me... You're jealous, aren't you?" He teased as his grin grew wider and you scoffed, closing the textbook almost a little too hard.
"Please, as if! I'm not the one here insinuating into starting something." You huffed and tried to disconnect your body from his to put the book away but he didn't let you, his arm holding you around the crook of your back firmly.
"I never mark them, if that makes you feel better. No matter how much they beg me to, I don't. I'm pretty good at controlling myself."
You paused, the heavy stone in your stomach still dragging you down. He sounded honest about it and any omega that he marked would've bragged about it for years to come. Hell, you wouldn't even be as close as you were with him right now if that was the case. Yet, the admission didn't make you feel any better and you'd rather not praise him for something so bare minimum.
"...I really, really don't care Reiner. You can fuck anyone you want silly and it's none of my business. I'm not your mate and you're not mine." His eyes softened, looking at you so fondly that you almost wanted to take back every word you had just said.
"We could be."
Time stopped. The way he said it so nonchalantly made you feel absolutely breathless, like you were punched so deeply in the gut. You so desperately wanted to kiss him in that moment — say fuck it, why not be his mate for the rest of your lives — but that was nothing but the godforsaken omega in you talking. This wasn't some cheesy romcom movie, this was real life. Why in the world would he think there was a possibility that he’d be your mate? The two of you barely knew each other besides the light-hearted chats you’ve had together, he only liked your presence because like every other omega, you were easy.
No matter how long you stayed up at night thinking about him or how much you desired pressing your body against his at all times, you would not sacrifice your future for him. You were trying to be more than just your sub-gender and more than solely becoming an alpha’s eventual trophy wife. Being with him would only complicate things. There was nothing he could do or say would change your perspective.
As you stood up with your stuff, you told him as firmly as you were able to make it without your voice wavering.
"No, we couldn't."
It felt like it was you trying to convince yourself otherwise.
You’d do anything to not be the one watching his heart break right in front of your eyes, his mood changing almost immediately. He tried to look away from you but you saw the deep disappointment reflecting in his irises. The softness they once held hardened up once he realized what he was feeling, trying hard to swallow back the pain. The change of his smell washed over you in waves, a cold melancholy hitting the back of your throat while a burning anger bit at the pit of your stomach at the same time. It wasn't like him to be so distraught with a simple rejection, maybe you were the first one that didn't immediately fall for his charms.
Maybe, just maybe... it should've been you that had gotten rejected instead. Perhaps it would've made you feel less awful about it.
"Yeah, sorry. I… I don’t even know why I said that. Why would I even choose yo— No. Wait. Fuck, I—" Reiner cleared his throat quickly and stood up himself, ready to get out of the situation he put himself in. He was backpedaling, you knew he was, but it didn’t make you or him feel any better about the situation. He really was not used to rejection, huh?
"Let's... let's forget all that. There’s a party going on in Delta Kappa Theta tonight. If you want to come, come. I don’t want you to keep preventing yourself from having fun." The way he still cared about you first made you feel like you were the complete piece of shit here. No matter what though, you didn’t owe him a relationship or situationship or whatever you two have.
You partially nodded anyways, a squeak of an ‘okay’ barely escaping you as you watched him walk away. Every step that he took made you feel even less sure about what you just did, but it was for the best… right?
‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’
It was the first frat party you’ve ever been to and as you approached the house, you knew that it was going to be way out of your comfort zone. You wanted to go back to your safe and warm dorm, make up an excuse to go to bed early, but Reiner was right, you shouldn't be cooping yourself up for so long without any other interaction besides him. You slowly took in a deep breath, tugging at the seams of your jacket before entering the house, music blaring in your ears and bright lights hitting your eyes as soon as you opened the door.
Find Reiner, find him. Your omega begged you as you shuffled through drunk and dancing bodies, but you ignored it. Would he even want to see you after you rejected him?
Someone tapped you on the shoulder and you turned towards the person, eyes wide with shock.
"Sorry! Didn't mean to scare you," Another alpha, his clean rain-like scent faint from the amount of alcohol in the air. He was extremely tall but folded his body within himself while holding a red solo cup, and his black hair was in desperate need of a new haircut, nearly covering the tops of his eyes. The man didn't seem to present himself like an alpha, his demeanor certainly different to the ones you've met and seen before. "You smelled like my friend and the lights are way too bright so I thought you were him, so sorry again."
He looked vaguely familiar but it seemed that he recognized you first, his mouth suddenly agape. "Wait. Aren't you the girl that Reiner keeps talking about? Uh... sorry. What was your name again?"
"Y/N, nice to meet you. Reiner... mentioned me?"
He kindly smiled and nodded, holding out his hand for you to shake. "Bertolt and you have no idea. You're basically all he wants to talk about recently."
It felt like your heart skipped a beat, butterflies fluttering around in your stomach. You really had that much of an effect on him? You felt partially proud that you, a complete nobody, managed to get him head over heels for you. The other part felt horrible, you didn't mean to lead him on like that to the point where he started bringing you up to his friends. It seemed that Bertolt realized what he said was causing you to get upset, pulling you towards the kitchen.
He quickly scooped up some liquid from a punchbowl and poured it into a new cup, handing it over to you. "Here. A drink might make you feel better."
You weren't new to drinking, only having it a few times casually here and there so you took a quick sip, a smooth burn going down your throat. You coughed lightly and shook your head, hearing him chuckle. He leaned against the countertop beside you, swirling around the cup in his hand.
"Bertolt?" You hated how small you sounded, trailing your fingertips against the ridges of the plastic cup.
"Hm?" He started to take another sip out of his drink, raising it up above his head.
"I don't know if he told you this already but I rejected him this afternoon." The sound of him choking and hacking followed suit immediately after you confessed, a spew of apologies running out of your mouth as you patted his back to get it all out. He definitely didn't tell him yet.
Once he managed to finally stop clearing his throat, he wiped his mouth and turned towards you, eyes wide. "Why did you?"
You bit the inside of your cheek and took another quick sip. "I told him that I wasn't looking for a romantic relationship or sex, all I want to do is focus on is passing my classes and graduating. That's the complete and honest truth."
His friend stayed quiet for a bit until he nodded once, as if he understood your reasoning.
"That's fair, you should be able to pursue what you want to do for your life instead of tending to his needs. It's hard out there for omegas and it's great that you're doing more for yourself. I know Reiner really does actually like you, but you don't have to pursue anything with him if you don't want to. You control what you get to do."
You felt flushed from both the alcohol and his words, you've never met an alpha that shared such a considerably controversial opinion before. You quietly thanked him, watching him tilt his head up towards the ceiling, sighing softly.
"Reiner... I've known Reiner since middle school and fuck, he has his moments where he tends to be a shitty guy, even long before he presented as an alpha. He's stubborn as hell and rarely listens to us and he's occasionally a great guy to be teamed up with, but inside, I know he's just trying to figure himself out."
"What do you mean?" He flinched, beginning to sweat bullets as he nervously fidgeted next to you.
"A-ah, sorry. I don't know if I should be telling you this since you're also his friend but," His pale eyes darted side-to-side, as if he was making sure that no one was listening. "Every omega he's been with, he calls all of them 'practice' for his fated mate. Everyone knows that having a fated mate is super, super rare but since he met you, well..."
He nervously tugged at the hem of his shirt but you immediately knew what he was saying.
"No." You awkwardly started laughing, shaking your head quickly. The house immediately felt even more stuffy and overbearing, a nauseating feeling overcoming you all of a sudden. Omegas being used as practice? Were you just another practice target if the relationship didn't work out?
"N-no, he doesn't seriously think that I'm his fated mate?"
Bertolt sharply inhaled through his teeth, eyes locked to the ground. "Reiner was always hopeful he'd find his second half and you've been the only omega he speaks so positively and constantly about. He mentioned the day you guys met, how your pheromones enticed him so much that he nearly kissed you and he wanted nothing more but to have you as his mate after that. Ugh, sorry. Even saying it out loud makes me feel gross."
You felt sick, numb. Were you even friends from the start or was all of his actions just some kind of courting method? You could barely hear yourself tell Bertolt that you had to go, fumbling a goodbye and an apology to him before pushing yourself into the crowd. The sea of people felt like it was getting more impossible to navigate the more you moved in it, a tight feeling building in your chest from being overwhelmed by every little smell and sound all around you.
Get out.
Get out.
GET OUT.
When you finally managed to push through and find the front door, your blood ran cold immediately. Like a deer frozen in front of oncoming headlights, you couldn't believe what you were staring at. Every part of your body screamed in complete anguish and devastation but you couldn't move. You had no right to, but you couldn't stop your tears from rapidly falling down your cheeks.
Reiner Braun, sitting down on the couch with some stranger on his lap, tracing his hands down their back, and pulling them closer to his body.
Reiner Braun, kissing down their neck, the peaks of his canines just barely scraping against their scent gland.
Reiner Braun, basically publicly grinding himself against this willing participant of his.
His eyes opened half-lidded and in some cruel form of fate, locked onto yours. Out of everyone in the room, he managed to find yours. He pulled away from the omega, a strand of drool still connecting between them. His hand still rested comfortably on the curve of their back, his mouth uttering only one name with wide eyes.
"Y/N...?"
All you could think as you finally snapped out of it — running out of the fraternity until your lungs felt like they were being ripped to shreds — was how bad you felt for that omega. How they were only going to be reduced into something so demeaning, a dummy-run to find his perfect mate. They didn't deserve that, being wide-eyed and hopeful that because he decided to choose them for his lustful pursuits, they're finally worthy of being a candidate of his.
You sobbed aloud as you washed and scrubbed your body red once you reached your dorm, trying to erase every scent and touch he made for the past couple of months. He was nothing more but absolute filth and you fell for it like a fool, a stupid brainless omega. You thought you were better than that but no, you were just like the rest of them. Even if you were his so-called fated mate, why did he continue to seek out others? Wouldn't he have tried to abstain? Sure, you shouldn't have expected that much out of him considering that you didn't even accept his confession but for some reason, it still hurt.
Fuck Reiner Braun. You should've never forgotten that in the first place.
‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’
Now you were here, leaving the messy history of the second year behind and now moving onto your third. Always look to the future, as they say. You took a lot of preventatives in avoiding seeing Reiner, the plan nearly as extensive as your studying.
You blocked his number once he started to keep calling over and over again ever since the party, blocking the new ones that came every so often and changing your number once you couldn't take it anymore. There was no reason for you to hear his explanation, it's his business on who he decides to fuck and you shouldn't be mad about it anymore. Part of you was afraid that if you hear him explain himself, you'd run right back to him just like every other omega he had a finger wrapped around.
You stopped frequenting areas you used to hang around in, which was unfortunate since some of those places were your favorites. You moved dorms, avoided places he frequented, and made sure he wasn't in any of your classes. Your majors were luckily too different to be in the same buildings or rooms, and with the help of Bertolt, you were always one step ahead of him.
He was the one that approached you first in one of your classes together at the start of the new semester and taught you the ways in how to avoid meeting up with him. You didn't know why his best friend wanted to help you and once asked him, getting the answer that Reiner hasn't been himself recently and he was afraid that he might do something rash if he managed to find you.
"You have so much ahead of you, I’d hate to see Reiner make you throw it away."
Bertolt made sure that he wasn't seen with you whenever the two of you hung out, and when he was with him, he made sure to steer clear of your direction with a simple text. He had to bathe immediately after just in case your scent got on him, which should be nonexistent but he was afraid that if there was just the vaguest trace on him, Reiner would hound him about it. He basically became your bodyguard whenever it was possible for him to do so, and you didn't even ask. You've never felt so grateful meeting someone like him before.
He also brought up that Reiner's been playing more rougher than usual, and snapping at others even when they're on his side of the team exercises. Even the coach was too afraid to say anything about his behavior, relying on him and a few others that were friends with him to talk to him about it.
"It sounds like he's in a pre-rut." You mentioned, handing over the pickles from your sandwich over to him. He took them with an open palm and threw them into his mouth like chips.
"I hope not, his scent smells the same so far but he rarely gets into ruts for me to really know what he smells like. Plus, he never knows how to handle them well."
"Reiner doesn't choose any of the omegas he messes around with for his ruts?" Bertolt shook his head, swallowing.
"Not at all. It's weird, he may mess around with them during their heats but he never, ever lets them in when he's going through a rut. Think it has something to do with the fated mate mentality he has, but sometimes we don't even know he was ever in one until they're over, he basically disappears for a week or so."
It’s funny in a weird way. The two of you were hiding each other from behind Reiner’s back as if the two of you were dating. Even though the two of you became close, your relationship with him was nothing romantic. Some kind of bro-code would've been broken between Reiner and Bertolt if you started dating him, and you'd be eating your own words from what you've said to Reiner. Then again, you never wanted to date him and tolerated his looming, clingy presence on most days.
Bertolt told you that he liked someone but was too afraid to make any move. She was another alpha and one of his friends, so the pairing itself had its controversies. He kept saying that his confession might ruin what they had for years and he was satisfied being in her shadow. It was sad to hear him put himself in second place for her happiness. So you tried doing a little nudge for him to go for it — 'the worst she can say is no' kind of talk — because it was better for him to say something than nothing at all and still quietly pine for her. Bertolt got too excited and rushed in with the confession after one of his practices without your knowledge, a messy bouquet of roses tightly gripped in his hand.
There was a few word texts that he sent to you after the whole ordeal:
Didn't get accepted.
Heartbroken.
Bar.
You found him standing in front of your dormitory building waiting for you, awkward looks of both omegas and betas glancing at him. As you approached him, he took a few steps towards you and almost collapsed in your arms as you held them outstretched. His tears and snot quickly dampened your jacket, his body wracking out heaves of anguish. There wasn't an alpha in the world that you've seen so vulnerable before, his fists gripping your clothes tightly as he shook in sadness.
He started telling you what had happened once he somewhat composed himself, his voice weak and crackly as the two of you walked to his chosen bar. Unfortunately, she turned him down and told him that she was actually interested in some beta from Paradis Tech named Armin. You could only imagine the bouquet dropping to the floor in dramatic fashion, tears welling up in poor Bertolt's eyes. She apologized and somewhat comforted him by saying that his confession won't change anything between their friendship. That was good, at least on her side.
You started consoling him, rubbing his back in circles as he drunkenly wept on the polished wood after downing one too many tequila shots. The speed in which he drank each one was shocking to say the least, you don't think his glass touched the table since he picked it up.
"We've known each 'ther shince we were kitss." He hiccupped, head resting in-between his arms as he tearfully stared in the distance and dangled the shot cup in his fingers.
"If I shaid sumnthin 'ears ago, would she hab 'ccepted me — or or or — shill reject me because of awer shub-genda?" You pitifully stared at his crumpled form, not knowing what to really say to make him feel better about the situation. The bartender then took his glass from Bertolt and told you to take the poor guy home, shaking his head slowly as he quietly whined about getting cut off.
"C'mon big guy, let's get you back."
The walk was quiet besides the occasional sniffle and you could tell he was trying not to fall on top of you, his feet slowly dragging on the concrete. As the designated sober friend, you were carefully observing him, a hand firmly holding the sleeve of his sweatshirt. He stopped suddenly, the sounds of his sneakers squeaking.
"Y/N."
"Hm?"
You turned your attention towards him, tilting your head to the side.
"If I wazzn'tin love wif Annie, I'd be sooooo in love 'ith—"
Bertolt then jolted to the side of an alleyway before he could finish what he was saying and started throwing up. It prompted you to quickly go by his side and hold him up, patting hard on his back to get it all out. You knew what he was going to say and you hated it. He's drunk and sad, nothing that came out of him was going to be honest.
"Don't say that Bertolt." You mumbled, lifting him back up once he finished and slinging his arm over your shoulders.
"I'm not going to be a replacement for you."
He reached over with his other hand, skin cold around the nape of your neck as he pulled your face towards his. You could smell the alcohol lingering in his breath, face cringing when you saw a bit of spittle still hanging off of his lips. He started saying something even more incoherent, his eyes beginning to close in hints of slumber.
"No, no, no. I... I swer'lve ewtoo."
You laughed softly as you shook your head in amusement, pulling him forwards. He really won't remember this at all. Bertolt finally fell silent, the occasional drunken groans slipping through if you tugged him too roughly.
Maybe in another world, if you had met Bertolt before Reiner...
You made the decision to take him to your dorm. The dormitory building was way closer than the frat house he lived in, and you'd rather not lug around his heavy body another ten blocks to get there. Never in your life you had thought you'd be sneaking in a giant of an alpha into the shared beta-omega dorms, but you wouldn't be the first to do so. It's a good thing his scent was currently dulled with alcohol or you'd be in more trouble trying to hide him. Quickly unlocking your door and taking him over to your loveseat, you watched as his body slowly relaxed into the cushions.
He was simply way too tall for the seating, his legs dangled off of the side of the couch as you adjusted him to a positioning that would prevent any risk of asphyxiation if he started throwing up again. You highly doubted that he had anything left in him, but it was good to be on the safe side. You lightly pinched his cheek, getting a change of clothes and headed towards the bathroom.
You checked on him once more before going to bed, a light snore coming out of him. Seems like he's all tuckered out and okay for now, the hangover is definitely not going to be pretty in the morning. You settled yourself into your sheets and turned the lights off, soon falling asleep.
The sound of your alarm on your phone blared in your ears, arms trying to pull out from underneath the blanket to turn it off but you didn't move an inch. Groggily opening your eyes, you saw an arm wrapped around your body, your mind not registering what was going on until you heard the soft sounds of breathing on top of your head. You turned your head slowly to the couch, the connection finally being put together when you saw his body wasn't lying there.
He started to rouse from his sleep when the alarm kept sounding off, an annoyed hiss slipping through his lip as his head lifted up from yours, reaching over himself to shut it off.
"Good morning big guy." You whispered as he settled back next to you, lightly squeezing you closer to him as if you were his pillow.
Bertolt grumbled quietly. "What time is it?"
"According to my alarm, maybe 8:05 in the morning." You tried to get up to get him water and something for his headache, but he didn't budge an inch. The two of you laid with each other, basking in the morning warmth quietly.
"Sorry for getting in bed with you, I tried finding a blanket but didn't want to wake you up."
"It's fine," You hummed quietly, turning your body towards him. "You okay though?"
He opened his mouth but closed it, falling silent as he slowly began to think. He turned on his back, staring at the white ceiling.
"Not really. Everything still hurts and I'm tempted to cry even more but... I don't know. Some part of me feels... relieved? If I never told her, I'd still be stuck in a loop worrying whether I'd ruin something between us and keep having this twist in my stomach whenever I see her with someone else. I'm glad that she found someone that she's happy with but..."
Bertolt put his forearm over his eyes, letting out a soft laugh.
"But why do I still want her?" His voice cracked, a tremble following the end of his words and once more, you wrapped your arms around his torso. You could smell his sadness, a heavy and misty petrichor filling the room in waves.
"Sometimes there's things that we desperately want to have but can't have. Irrational as it is, it's in our nature." You mumbled, your hands balling up in his sweatshirt.
"Like you with Reiner?" Your blood ran cold as he said that but you merely pushed your face into his body.
"I don't know."
In the end, Reiner managed to find you and ask you to his game. You texted Bertolt, asking how was he able to get your location after being almost MIA for months. Apparently when you and him finally snuck him out of the dormitory, it completely slipped his mind that he had to wash off like usual. When he entered the frat house, Reiner greeted him but stopped midway, quickly approaching him and grabbing his shirt collar roughly.
He demanded me to tell him where you were. I'm so sorry Y/N, I couldn't stop him and our team needs the both of us playing.
You stared at the text, almost throwing your phone in frustration. You should've said no, had firmly stood behind your decision. Yet, the second his pheromones reached your nostrils, you couldn't stop yourself from agreeing, even if you were trying to look angry at him. You've noticed it had gotten stronger than before, was it because you haven't seen him in a while? You couldn't even be mad at Bertolt, you'd be terrified out of your mind too if an alpha was demanding an answer from you like that.
It's only for a few hours, you thought as you took in a slow breath. After that, he'll finally leave you alone.
‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’
Reiner picked you up earlier than usual. It was about 5:10 when you heard a knock at your door, causing you put down the lip gloss before you even could apply it. Shuffling over and peeking through the peephole, you saw him standing there in a suit and tie. He cleaned himself up, the stubble he once had when he found you was completely shaven away and his blond hair was slight slicked back with gel.
"You're early." You muttered as you opened the door, keeping it barely ajar. He's not even supposed to step foot in the dorm, nervousness crawling up your spine. His pheromones hit you like a train, practically everyone that was walking down the dorm hallway could smell him, heads turning in your room's direction.
"I wanted to see you." He grinned, pushing the door open even more — nearly knocking you over — and handing you a bouquet of morning glories, camellias, and forget-me-nots. As you were staring at the mostly red flowers, almost a complete eyesore with the addition of the light blue petals that peered out from within, he waltzed in your safe haven without your permission.
"Hey! Reiner, you can't just—!"
You groaned as you exasperatedly followed after him, placing the bouquet down on your desk. His form was absolutely massive compared to the entire room, his head constantly turning towards the different decor that you hung up on the walls.
"I've never seen your dorm on the inside before, it's cute. It's... you." He softly mumbled, your face turning warm. You grabbed his sleeve, trying to tug him out of your space so you can get ready, but he stopped in the middle of the room, his attention honed in towards the messed sheets of your bed.
"Reiner," You started, your eyes following to where he was looking at. Your heart nearly stopped in your chest when you smelled a burning anger occupy the space — a smoldering, cindering scent — nearly making you cover your nose from how horrible it was. You gulped, hand slipping out and down to your side in a fist. "Reiner, w-we... we didn't do anything."
He just stood there silently, still focused on your bed. He has every right to be angry, you were literally snuggling with his best friend this morning, but you didn't belong to him. Scummy as it was, you made your bed and laid on it, there was nothing he could change about it.
"I-I'm just going to get ready." You whispered, turning around to go back into the bathroom. Big mistake.
Large hands grabbed your wrist, dragging you around in a speed that you couldn't comprehend. You almost screamed as he threw you on the bed, Reiner following after you and trapping you beneath him, his leg in-between yours. Fear was pouring out of you in waves but he couldn't smell it, no one could.
It took him little time and effort for him to press his lips against yours, your eyes wide as you soon realized what he was doing. You tried moving your mouth away, a scared and little no slipping out but he caught you again, his hand gripping your chin and forcing your head to stay in place. You tried pulling at his suit, squirming and kicking your legs, anything to get this monster off of you, but he didn't budge, seemingly finding enjoyment in your weak attempts as he pressed himself deeper against your lips.
His knee nudged at your cunt, a muffled, surprised gasp coming out of you, letting him enter your mouth even more. A shiver ran up your spine as you felt his tongue run against yours, the wet muscle violating wherever he went in a meticulous fashion. You could barely breathe, the smell of him and the aftershave he had on was so intense that you could feel the tug of your omega side slipping through the cracks of your mind; not even your medication was able to stop you from feeling this way.
Reiner finally pulled away, a mix of each other's saliva connecting the two of you. Strands of his gelled back hair fell over his forehead, your once-brushed out hair tousled into a mess. Both of your breaths were uneven and heavy, his eyes low and dazed as he stared down at you. Tears were running down your face, ruining what you've already put on, your eyebrows scrunched together in absolute horror as you shared the same stare with him. He sniffed the air once, again and again as he neared your neck.
"Stop, stop, stop." You cried out as you pushed against his stubborn head, fearing that he would bite down on your scent gland.
He didn't make any move, only sniffing at you like a curious dog. He then pressed his lips against it, causing you to abruptly stiffen in horrid expectation.
There was no pain as he pulled away from you, your hand immediately shooting to your neck to feel for any welts or marks. Nothing. A simple kiss was all he did on it, and you couldn't help but feel appreciative that he didn't mark you.
"Don't you dare see Bertolt ever again, you understand?" He hissed into your ear, the threat echoing hollowly in your head. No way in hell were you going to listen to him, but the omega in you nodded slowly, his heavy body finally lifting off of you. You tried to ignore the imprint straining against his lower half, your eyes staring up at him in complete shock.
"Go get yourself ready."
Shakily getting up on your feet, you beelined towards the bathroom without a single word, nearly collapsing on the floor once you turned the lock. As you looked at your face in the mirror, dripping dark drops of mascara and eyeliner stained the apples of your cheeks. The lipstick that was once there, was now rubbed away, leaving nothing but your bare lips. Your hand trembled as you reached over for a makeup wipe, a quiver of a sigh coming out of you.
You wanted to throw up, get every bit of spit and slobber of his out of your system, but you couldn’t. He’d hear you.
Reiner brought one of his jersey's for you to wear once you came out of the bathroom with fresh casual makeup back on, and you could tell that the article was completely drenched in his scent. You sniffed at it gingerly as you held it in your hands, cringing away from the sweet vanilla smell.
"What? It's clean, I promise."
"Liar." You mumbled under your breath but pulled it over the shirt you wore, the fabric loose against your body. He took a quick minute to admire you in his clothing, placing his hand on your cheek and stroking the skin with his thumb. You could still see the red stain of your lipstick smeared on his lips, trying to fight back tears and a sneer.
"You look so fuckable right now," You bit the inside of your cheek as you watched the tip of his tongue licked across his bottom lip, the darks of his pupils reflecting an unhinged licentiousness that horrified you within every atom in your body. "Maybe tonight, when I win, I'll be getting another trophy."
"Don't forget our deal asshole," You finally spat out, ripping his hand off of your face in disgust. "I'm only going to your stupid game because of the promise you made this morning."
Reiner simply stared down at you, your nerves scrambling even worse than before. He finally scoffed, crossing his arms. "Right. Our deal."
You hated the fact that he basically was acting like he didn't just forcefully kiss you, your nails digging into the palm of your hand. "Can we go now?"
He checked his phone, huffing slightly. "Yeah. Don't worry, we're not that far to the stadium. Just a few traffic lights and we'll be there."
You felt all the color drain from your face. You thought it was close by in walking terms but now you had to be in a small space where it now completely smells like him? Might as well hold your breath the entire ride.
The short drive was quiet, some random old rock station was lowly playing on the radio, but the two of you didn't speak to each other. What would even be exchanged anymore? You didn't want to be associated with him so long as you walked on this planet. Reiner's fingers thrummed on the wheel, red spilling into the car and staining every surface within. He turned towards you as if he wanted to say something and you stared back, a chill running down your spine. No words were said, but you felt every little thing from his smell.
Ravenous, a voracious appetite for the predator in disguise. Right in front of him, a five-course meal just ripe for the picking. All he's doing now was waiting for you to back into an inescapable cliff, the perfect moment to finally strike.
"...You have to go." You whispered and he finally broke eye contact, staring at the traffic light above and accelerating.
"Yeah, right."
The silence once presumed until the two of you approached the stadium, him mentioning that he got you a seat near the rink so you could see the action up close. To be honest, you could care less about the game and who would win overall. Reiner handed you the ticket between his index and middle finger, but when you reached over to grab it, he took it back.
"Need a good luck kiss from you first. If this is the last time I'll get to see you, I want to make it last."
You didn't want to rile him up before he played or make him force his hand upon you in the car, so you planted a quick kiss on his cheek before grabbing the ticket from his hand simultaneously. "Okay. Done. Good luck or whatever."
You scrambled out of his car, making your way to the inside as soon as possible. The arena was louder than you thought once you stepped foot, the joyous chatter and screams echoing throughout the hallways. LED screens hanging from the ceiling flashed the words Marley Warriors vs Paradis Titans, showing the line-ups of each team member.
Reiner came first in the centers, his pose prideful and boasting with stats to match. The other three names that you noticed were Porco Galliard, Colt Grice, and Eren Kruger. You eventually saw Bertolt come up as one of the right wingers but no sign of his usual reserved side showed in his photo, he looked focused and tough more than anything else. One of the goalies was an older looking individual by the name of Zeke Jaeger, confident but not too boasting. Clips of their past games showed afterwards, showing their amazing teamwork and impressive previous goals, then moving on to the other team.
The main centers for the Paradis Titans were composed of four men; Eren Jaeger, Jean Kirschtein, Levi Ackerman, and Miche Zacharius. Was the Eren guy related to the other Jaeger on your university's team? They definitely didn't look alike in your opinion but it could simply be because of a crazy Punnett square. Some wingers and defensemen that you sorta paid attention to were Armin Arlelt, Hange Zoë, Floch Forster, and Connie Springer. The goalie on their team was a massive blond man named Erwin Smith, his photo exuding a powerful stance, maybe even more than your uni's goalie. You felt like Reiner's team might have some trouble facing them, their defense and attack seems pretty threatening.
You finally took a glance at your ticket, walking around trying to find the stairway for your seating. The smells of popcorn, melted cheese, and hotdogs filled your nose, but you didn't feel hungry at all, still sick to your stomach from what had happened earlier. Eventually you finally found where you were supposed to go, and if you thought it was loud in the other shell of the arena, finally stepping in the seating area and the rink was absolutely ear-breaking.
Sirens, music, screaming, loud announcers. Almost every unbearable sound was contained in the structure, you should've bought earplugs prior to this. Not to mention, every scent of maybe hundred alphas and omegas intertwined made you feel even more overwhelmed, a headache beginning to form.
It's only for a few hours, a few hours and you'll never see this place or him ever again.
Your seat was nearby Reiner's team, nearly in-between the other team as well, the other teammates chattering with each other. You've sorta recognized them, occasionally seen around campus and such. Heads and eyes of strangers from school nearby were somewhat turning towards you, even the team started to notice you walking up behind them. Your face burned up at the realization once you sat down. Shit. You had completely forgotten that you were wearing Reiner's heavily scented jersey, you might as well be showing off the mating mark that he could've made a few hours ago.
"Yo Braun's omega is here!" One of the team members called out and you almost hid your head in your hands in embarrassment. Oh God, don't say that.
"Y/N, you made it?" The most recognizable voice cleared your thoughts immediately, head perking back up with a wide smile.
"Bertolt!" You wanted to hug him but he recoiled back as if you were a stranger, his nose scrunching. Your face fell immediately, his gaze sinking down in shame when he noticed your crestfallen expression.
"Sorry, it's not you. It's... y'know. That." He nudged the bottom of the jersey with the end of his stick, a frown forming on your face.
"I know. He made me wear it." You frustratingly tugged at the fabric with one hand and he chuckled, ruffling the top of your head. You'd burn it on the spot if you could.
"I didn't make you wear anything babe, you've always liked wearing my clothes." The sound of his voice made you freeze in place, eyes wide as your head turned in the direction of where he was walking in. Bertolt followed suit, his hand retracting away from you as if you were suddenly a hot stove.
"I don't think I could follow up your end of our deal if you're not respecting my demands, omega." No. That was never part of the agreement. You just gave the okay so he'd get off your back about it. He genuinely couldn't be serious about not seeing Bertolt anymore, right?
"Don't be an asshole Reiner. She's not just an omega."
The blond scowled at his friend, shoving his helmet roughly against his chest. He pushed it off of him, staring the other down in a sneer. You've never seen Bertolt like this before, the usual rain smell he had was turning stormy and bitterly furious.
"Oh, I'm the asshole? I wasn't the one hiding my fucking mate from me for months and sleeping in her bed. Not to mention, what happened to Annie or did you get tired of another alpha that's better than you?" You internally winced for him, that was such a low blow. Bertolt looked stunned for a second, glancing over at you for a quick second, but he pushed his shoulder back roughly in return.
"Don't bring Annie into this Reiner, this is about my friend. Did you really think she'd let you — of all people in this school — mark her when you act like a conceited asshole? She's not your fated mate. You've proven that over and over again that she's going to be like the rest, you knotheaded fuck."
You gasped at the sudden insult, a vein nearly popping out of Reiner's forehead but he didn't say anything more, pushing past Bertolt and shouldering him roughly with a scowl. You didn't mean for them to start an argument with one another, the game hadn't even started and tensions were already high. The Paradis Titans team weren't hiding their amused stares, the Eren Jaeger guy whispering to the short haired, bowl-cut blond next to him; Armin, you think. The murmurs of strangers behind you made you feel sick, hearing the word knottease being tossed around, the horrid word directed towards you.
You started to apologize profusely once Bertolt turned towards you, but he simply held out a hand, patting your shoulder as you stopped.
"Don't be. Someone needed to say it to him, maybe this fight would finally clear his head."
"But the game Bertolt, I—" You started but he interrupted you once more.
"I don't give a shit about the game if you're the one being hurt. You matter more than hitting a puck around, okay?" If you weren't wearing Reiner's jersey, you'd hug him right now. He smiled and put his helmet on, leaning close to you to whisper something in your ear.
"By the way, don't listen to the jerks behind you. You're nothing like that, you're going to be something great." He backed away once the horn started, walking over to the entrance to the ice rink to join his team. Good luck, you wanted to say because if anything, he'll need it when he gets into the arena with a monster in tow.
‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’
If you thought Reiner was bad in practice, his violent playstyle was nothing compared to when he's in an actual game. How on Earth this sport was approved to play for anyone, you had no idea. All you could hear was men yelling at each other and slamming each other to snatch the slippery little puck, fans behind you hollering just as loudly.
Both Reiner and Bertolt had seemed to forgive each other on the court, winning being the only thing on their minds. Just like in practice, they didn't have to say anything to get the point across, making passes and attempted shots whenever they had the slightest of openings. The two Galliards seemed to be more communicative with one another, defending the goalie whenever they could with short barks of commands. They were good but Eren Jaeger seemed to be the rookie ace of the Titans, managing to push through and score in the most impossible scenarios.
You could tell he was aggravating them, putting them in a corner while constantly taunting them with a one-liner or a smug smile as he scored. An angry alpha was something not to mess with and putting a whole group of them against other alphas who were mocking them for their failures? It's obviously an immediate recipe for disaster.
Intermission came around, the score against the Warriors by two. As the teams were talking to one another to plan out their next attack, you watched the Zambonis slowly smooth out the ice again. You paid no attention to them and their chatter, you wouldn't have made sense of it anyways.
"Hey," You looked around for the source of the voice and finally down, seeing bright turquoise-blue and a mess of brown hair standing below you. He smelled sharply fresh, like the first bite to a mint leaf and drinking cold water afterwards. It wasn't necessarily bad like most in the arena, just made your nose crinkle a little from the suddenness of it. "Eren Jaeger."
"Oh- um... Y/N. Aren't you supposed to be talking to your team?"
He waved his hand dismissively towards your statement, crossing his arms with a smile. "Nah, there's nothing else that's new with the planning. You, however, are the talk of the arena."
Your cheeks flushed warm, the temptation of burying yourself alive later on growing more and more, but you grimaced instead. "So what? You wanted to see if I'm what they say I am?"
Eren shook his head, taking a few steps closer towards you. "I'm not talking about the knottease comments, I'm talking about the Reiner Braun's mate comments. Is it true?"
"No! Of course not!" You exclaimed in shock, but the subtle-not-so-subtle glance downwards towards your attire seemed to make him doubt you otherwise. You tried defending yourself about it without revealing much about the twisted relationship you actually have with Reiner.
"This is just because he thinks he's claimed me and we've made a deal. I have no other choice."
"Is it now? Well then," He pointed towards himself with a thumb, his grin growing even wider. "When I win, wanna go on a date with me after this?"
How many alphas were gunning for you right now?! You knew that you took your suppressants today after Bertolt left your dorm so how come this was happening to you? The absolute balls on this man, especially since he was thinking that his team had already won. You wearily shook your head, you've had your fill of pestering alphas for the rest of your schooling life.
He looked dejected for a second but perked up immediately, the buzzer of the timer echoing throughout the arena. You thought that was that and began to turn your attention towards your college's team, but then he called out a 'head's up', tossing something in your direction. You caught it in surprise, looking in the palm of your hands and finding a keyhole shaped earring.
"Keep it! For the next time we meet!" Eren waved you goodbye and jogged over to his side of the team, high-fiving and chattering with his friends before putting a helmet on. You let a small smile slip out, he may be a little cute but there was definitely no way you were ever going to see him ever again. You safely tucked it into your pocket, finally looking towards the Warriors.
He was watching you. Of course. There was a livid look in his eyes, his brows scrunched even more in irascibility and his teeth were bared, perhaps even grinding together in this current moment. You paled at the thought of them sinking into your neck like some kind of rabid animal. Reiner was barely human anymore, you realize. Any loving gaze that he had before for you was nothing more but a dangerous hunger.
All you could hope was for the Warriors to win so he would be in a decent mood to finalize the goodbyes, and you'd pray for the Titans for the brutality that they're about to endure because of his horrid attachment to you.
The players slid into the ice once more, the deafening cheers of everyone growing louder and louder as the second half of the game was beginning to start. The referee smoothly made his way between the two masses of men, Reiner staring down coldly into the clear mask of Eren. Like a coin flip, the puck was thrown highly into the midst of them, their eyes following it as it made its way down to the icy ground.
Click.
In a snap of a finger, the sound of sticks bashed together once the puck bounced off of the surface. Like a choreographed dance, the rivals whirled with one another, swinging and twisting their bodies around in order to get ahold of the very thing that might as well be the trophy itself. The intensity of the game was now at an all time high that even you started to pay more attention to it, the hairs on your arms raising in anticipation.
The puck swung back and forth like a pinball, but the Warriors managing to catch up to a tie. It was starting to become a standstill again however, taunting chants coming out from the people in the stands, jeering at the anyone that opposed their team. Players were being switched out on both teams during timeouts but few remained on the ice, a tense aura between the three.
Reiner, Bertolt, Eren.
Bertolt took a few glances at his friend, tapping the end of his stick with his and seemingly started to exchange words with him from what you could see. Who knows what it was about; the game, the enemy team, you. He only lifted his fist up, letting the other return it in a similar gesture and that seemed to calm the black-haired male's nerves.
Reiner's eyes were lasered in on Eren for the most part, gripping the handle of his stick tightly and swiping it around on the ice as if he was practicing a shot. He was truly unrecognizable, a shell of the man that once followed you around like the world's most clingiest puppy dog. You knew he wanted to show-off, his pride was at risk to a girl that he believed he owned for months. Disgusting and typical.
Eren seemed the most lax out of all of them, leaning against the plastic border as fans behind him fawned over him. He seemed not to care about Reiner's burning glares at him, waving across the rink to seemingly you. He seemed nice, but it was obvious that he had more intentions than just wanting to befriend you.
The whistle sounded and the game began once more, the men skating themselves back to the middle. You checked how much time was left on the clock, ten minutes. Ten more excruciating minutes and you were going to be finally free.
" 'Round it now!" You could hear Reiner call out to Grice as he suddenly slammed his complete weight into enemy Jaeger, their eyes meeting as the others chased after the puck. They went after it as well once he recovered from the blow, but it looked like they started talking and you managed to spot a furious glint glazing over his hazel eyes.
He suddenly threw his stick out onto the rink, ripping off his gloves and grabbing Jaeger's shirt by the collar in frightening speed. Reiner was undeniably experienced with his punches, uppercutting him from below the mask. It toppled off of his head, falling to the ground with a crack, and Eren was stunned for a second, just for a single second. He was unable to completely process what had happened before the bigger male tackled him to the cold ground, the deafening sounds of heavy bodies slamming into the ice made the arena stand still.
The referee was too afraid to intervene but blew the whistle immediately, and hundreds of people watched the Reiner Braun brutally dig his knuckles into his face. Fresh crimson spilt down on the ice in splatters and you were forced to witness him weakly trying to stop him, protecting his face as much as possible to no avail. Bertolt immediately tried pulling him off of him, shouting at him that he needed to stop but it was like he was in a trance, almost attacking him in the process.
He finally was pulled off of Eren by the goalie of Warriors — furiously throwing his own punch into his face — and the poor boy having to be quickly removed from the rink on a stretcher. Reiner was pinned to the ground by multiple individuals and given a tranquilizer, his body soon relaxing and slumping over. They put him on a stretcher as well, his hands and legs bounded together and his mouth wrapped with a cloth rag. He was still slightly conscious, his calm and woozy stare meeting your horrified one.
The game had to continue without them but you had already left, not knowing the result. You felt too nauseous from smelling the sheer fear and panic that was coming of Eren, pungent and potent as it filled the air. But Reiner's...
All you could smell was that sickening warmth, a burning sensation in your nares. The same scent from your dorm but that's not at all what made you leave immediately. The sick fuck was happy he was beating into the defenseless guy, exhilarated that his blood was running down his skin and staining the floor, joyful. The nose doesn't lie and you wonder if everyone else caught it too.
Bertolt texted you when he visited Reiner in the hospital, but you didn't respond, busy trying to scrub the remnants of him out of your dorm while tears ran down your cheeks.
He did it for you.
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verdantlights · 2 months ago
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Thoughts/Analysis Part 2 (but its coherent)
OKay so i slept (finally) after staying up since wednesday morning and only getting roughly 5 hours of sleep in total?? until I finally managed to get decent hours of sleep last night. anyways. i am still not normal in the slightest over round 7 but i have many more thoughts, am a lot more coherent, and have had it swimming in my head for a while.
TW for mentions of drug use. I'm gonna start with Luka. I've stated in the edit I made of the original post as well as in a few reblogs, but Luka is a victim. A lot of people are Luka haters, and that's valid! I am also, to an extent, a Luka hater.... even if I have a thing for blonde twinks with issues. But his character is also incredibly interesting. If you are familiar with Honkai: Star Rail, then you might understand what I'm saying when I think Luka is a combination of both Sunday AND Robin. He has the trapped bird in a cage mentality from Robin with the need for order and control mentality from Sunday. Order and control referring to winning being the only thing keeping his sanity in check.
Luka, as a human pet, is aware that he is playing a losing game. He needs to win, but he knows that winning Season 50 is not the end. He may have won against Till, but now the segyein are going to put him against Hyuna, considering Hyuna and Mizi were referred to as special guests. The way he looked at Hyuna in that last scene was part of him realizing this. It's the face you pull when you realize something horrible, but you need to keep face/keep your composure.
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Their ear pieces are similar to their collars in that they show the emotions of the wearer. We can clearly see Till's earpiece glowing red the entire time (up until Mizi appears), and Luka's is constantly glowing green. Luka was seen in hysterics pretty much the entire time like the one frame where he's holding in his laughter.
Luka was drugged on something that makes him euphoric and lose his sense of control, like weed or cocaine. He found fucking with Till to be the funniest thing ever, but it's not normal for Luka to be so outwardly expressive of his elation. We know he enjoyed fucking with Mizi, even if it let to getting his ass beat, but even then, he wasn't as expressive then as he was with Till. That leads me to believe that he has something in his system to heighten his emotional output as well as some sort of adrenaline drug like what Till was most likely given.
What bugs me is that they don't show us what color his earpiece is as he looks at Hyuna. We see Till's earpiece turn green at Mizi, but does Luka's stay green as he looks at Hyuna? I feel it was orange, but that's just me.
Luka now knows what's about to happen, which is also why Hyuna tries to stop Mizi. Hyuna knew the whole time that if they were to save Till, they'd be walking straight into the trap. Mizi's heart is too kind and she's desperate to save Till.
Thankfully, what Hyuna had gone there for originally seems to be completed. Whatever files she was downloading was complete before she went after Mizi, and I think that's where were gonna see Issac and Dewey again. I think she might've been uploading those files to them so that they can take the lead from there. This leads me to my prediction for the next episode. (ill get to till last, hes my little meow meow and im not normal about him)
I don't think Blink Gone is done. I believe there is a part two to the Finals, and that round 7 wasn't even the final round. I've already stated that the most likely thing to happen next is Luka v Hyuna, but then I also talked about Issac and Dewey.
Hyuna could have gotten her hands on high profile data regarding Alien Stage. She sends the data to Dewssac, and they shut down the stage from the inside, allowing the resistance to come in and do a massive sweep, hopefully before either Hyuna, Luka, or Mizi dies.
Now, as for Mizi. We know Mizi is the main character, and there are people who are saying Till's death boosts her hero arc. Now there are two ways I see this happening, either:
Vivinos keeps up their streak of tragedy and kills off everyone, leaving Mizi isolated entirely.
Or someone (dewssac, hyuna, mizi, maybe even luka) pull through and live to save more people.
If it's the first one, Till is dead dead. If the second, Till has a chance at being alive.
There are many reasons why Till is most likely alive, and as a hopeful feeler... I also am clinging onto the more hopeful ending (the second option). Not just because "Haha guys I need Till to be alive, he's my bias" but also because seeing Mizi completely isolated and forced to fake a smile and perform would absolutely fucking destroy me and I don't think I'd ever be the same after that, honestly. Like that genuinely scares me.
There's the narrative of ALNST and vivimeng's beautiful storytelling. That is my number one hopeful reasoning for Till being alive. If Till dies here, it would be utterly nonsensical and it would ruin the narrative. It would completely void all of Ivan's character, for starters. I was just talking about this with @rockwgooglyeyes and Vant (idt they wanna be tagged here), but Ivan's character is static. He is not dynamic or fluid, but he is extraordinarily complex which makes up for it. He never really had an arc of his own unless you count what happened in his past during/before being bought by Unsha. His death is meant to haunt the narrative, meant to haunt Till. So why would he die, only for Till to die a few hours later? It would completely ruin what he was meant for and it would be so unsatisfying and bitter.
However, there's also the thematics of ALNST. Rock called out @pwippy for this already, but I'm gonna call them out too because fuck you plip (/j i love you plipster). Rock put it really well in these two excerpts I took from his post:
"Alien Stage is a universe full of suffering and pain for humans, forced to perform until they literally die on stage, all for the entertainment of the audience. It's not even meant as a way of exerting control or oppressing them, though it serves that purpose, because why would the seygein bother to oppress something that can't even fight back? Why go to the trouble of controlling something that is just a pet, whose cries are the fuel for a new age?"
Once again mentioning the Hunger Games because I genuinely can't help myself I love THG way too much, but that's the key difference between ALNST and THG: the human pets aren't being forced to do this because of a past rebellion and are being punished by the oppressing government... They're being thrown into this for fun. Full credit to @alien-til-i-stage who said this as a joke, but it is really fucking real, but the segyein bringing their human pets to watch ALNST in the audience are like people bringing dogs to a dog fight in real life. And that, I fear, puts into perspective as to just how much of a pet the humans are to the segyein. They are only there for entertainment. The resistance is mostly a thorn in their side as of right now (dewey and issac better change that next episode or istg) and killing these humans is simply just fun for them. They know humans can be hostile, just like dogs, but they tame them and make them docile and obedient, only to make them kill each other in the end, even if it's through a singing competition rather than an all out teeth and claws brawl. (except for round 5, that doesnt count)
"In this world of pain and suffering, perhaps death is a mercy. If Till is truly dead, then he no longer a tool for his oppressors, he is free of their control. For Ivan and Sua both of their deaths were mercies to them- Ivan was able to die for the one he loved, as was Sua, and neither of them were forced to live in a world without their beloved."
(thank you rock i love you pookie snookie)
He also mentions that it's not in character for Till to die, which I completely agree with. Till's persona is that of someone who wants to win, but not in the same way Luka needs to win. Till wants to win to live and survive with those he loves, he wants to win to beat the system, but considering how dystopian of a world this is, as much as he wants to win and save Mizi, he craves death as a freedom.
That out of the way, another thing that @junebluues actually got me to think about was this:
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The bomb has Till's eyes and is crying as it knows it's going to die (assuming it's a sentient alien like Freddie). And the comparison here honestly opened my eyes a little bit and got me thinking.
Was Till a catalyst? Because that was a smoke bomb. I ended up thinking about it for a minute and came up with three possibilities where Till is a bomb/smoke bomb:
Mizi is using Till to hide her feelings
Till is the bomb that sets off a chain of events
Till is used to hide/cover up the real plan for either the segyein or for the resistance
I don't think it's the first one, I feel like it'd be closer to the other two, but any three of those could work. Because Mizi's feelings of despair over her situation can be hidden behind the hope as she reached out for Till. But as the smoke clears (Till dies) she remembers that it was, in fact, a bomb.
EDIT: Also, the lyric that plays during the smoke bomb scene is "No, don't look back now" which also kinda leads me to believe that Till is the start of a chain/domino effect. Once you knock the first domino, you can't go back.
I think someone somewhere had also talked about Till being forced to be used as a catalyst/bait again considering how well it worked here. There's a good chance Urak might have supplied the drugs to Till and also paid out or WAS paid out by another person to use Till as bait. Urak wouldn't want his pet that he is grossly possessive over to die that easily without every ounce of use being wrung out of him,,, something something Till being a Trojan Horse of sorts (thanks rock for that one, too).
EDIT: I also remembered that during the sequence in the song where the audience is singing the chorus and we see Ivan on the screens, is when Till looks like he's about to pass out. What gets me here is the fact that it is quite literally a chorus of vultures. The audience singing the chorus with images of Ivan surrounding him and seeing Luka mimic Ivan made Till realize that he was surrounded and that's when he started losing hope. It's why his reaction to Mizi is so prominent, because it's like she was there to save him from the vultures. The audience singing is my favorite and also least favorite part of the video/song because the feeling of being surrounded and cornered with everyone against you and their voices echoing in your head... really does it for me. I really want to animate this sequence from up close in Till's POV.
Anyways the 4th reason i had for the bomb theory was that Till is smoking hot (sorry). okay im done now i think,,,,,, i might actually come back with more because i think i forgot something... but i cant remember..... i forgor.....
other tags: @shakingparadigm @aakaneeee @ivanttakethis @k9punkout @crustyfloor @apriciticreveries @bluemoonscape @tsukacchako @nottoonedin @paperstarry
side note that i genuinely put more effort into my analyses than i have ever put into any school essay ever
edit: FUCK I WAS SUPPOSED TO ANALYZE THE LYRICS AGAIN GOD DAMNIT i dont feel like doing that anymore ill just do it later maybe
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starkeyslibrary · 1 month ago
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That's So True
Inspired by That's so True by Gracie Abrams
pairing: reader x drew starkey
a/n: i just realized that i've never formally introduced myself on here! my bad, my name is rhodee, 21 years old, living in europe and currently studying law. i love writing imagines that'll hopefully make you laugh, swoon or cry (sorry not sorry) a little too hard <3
stick around if you’re into dreamy characters, plot twists, or just want to scream about Drew with me!
hope i'll get to know so many of y'all on here!! okay that's all, enjoy <3
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The night Drew had left for the premiere, you told yourself it was just another event, like all the others. You even tried to convince yourself you didn't mind staying home, avoiding the chaos of the red carpet. It's his night, you thought, forcing a smile as he kissed you goodbye, his cologne lingering in the air long after the door closed.
But as the hours stretched on, the gnawing sense of isolation grew. It wasn't just tonight - it had been building for months. Drew's career was skyrocketing, and with every interview, press tour and glamorous event, it felt like he was slipping further away from you. He'd promised that things would calm down after this movie, that he'd have more time. But those promises were always vague, like a finish line that kept moving further out of reach.
The photos hit social media just before midnight. Drew, looking devastatingly handsome in his suit, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with his co-star, Odessa A’ Zion. The fan comments flooded in, gushing about how perfect they looked together, how the chemistry was undeniable.
You slammed your laptop shut. It wasn't jealousy - not exactly. You trusted him, but trust didn't erase the ache of feeling invisible.
The sound of Drew's keys jingling at the door pulled you from your spiralling thoughts. The clock on the wall read 1:47 a.m. You hadn't realized how late it had gotten. The door opened, and Drew stepped inside, his movements slow and careful, like he didn't want to disturb you. He probably thought you were asleep.
"Hey," you called out, your voice sharp in the quiet apartment. You couldn't hide the edge of frustration.
He paused, caught off guard, then gave a tired smile. "Hey, babe. Didn't think you'd still be up."
"Well, I am," you said, standing from the couch. "Thought you said you'd be home hours ago."
"The afterparty ran late," he explained, shrugging off his jacket. "I texted you."
"That's not the point, Drew," you snapped, your tone harsher than you intended. “This isn’t just about tonight. Do you even realize how little I see you anymore?”
His brows furrowed, and he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s my job, you know how crazy things get during press tour. This isn’t new.”
“That doesn’t make it easier,” you shot back. “You’re always out there, Drew. With her, with them – whoever. And I’m just .... here. Alone. Waiting for whatever scraps of time you have left.”
Drew exhaled sharply, clearly tired, and not in the mood for an argument. “This again?” he muttered, his tone clipped. “I can’t keep apologizing for doing my job.”
You flinched at his words. “I’m not asking you to apologize for working. I’m asking you to make me feel like I matter.”
“You do matter,” he said, raising his voice slightly. “But you’re acting like I can just drop everything. This is how it is y/n. This is how it’s always been.”
“No, it hasn’t,” you countered. “It’s different now. You’re different. You barely talk to me anymore. Half the time, I don’t even know what’s going on in your life. But everyone else does. The fans, the press – they all get pieces of you that I don’t.”
“That’s not true,” Drew said, shaking his head. “You’re making this a bigger deal than it is.”
Your eyes burned with unshed tears. “You don’t get it, do you? You don’t see how lonely this is for me. You’re so caught up in your world that you don’t even notice.”
Drew’s frustration boiled over. “What do you want me to do, y/n? Quit? Stop taking jobs? Would that make you happy?”
His words felt like a slap, and the tears you’d been holding back finally spilled over. “I want you to fight for this – for us. But instead, you’re treating me like a burden.”
Drew froze, his anger dissipating as he saw the pain in your expression. “Y/N,” he started, his tone softer, “You’re not a burden. I love you. You know that.”
“Do I?” you whispered. “Because it doesn’t feel like it anymore.”
The silence that followed was suffocating. Drew looked at you, his face a mix of regret and helplessness. “I don’t know what to say,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Then don’t say anything,” you said, retreating to the bedroom before your emotions could completely overwhelm you.
You shut the door behind you, leaning against it as sobs wracked your body. You hated this – hated feeling like you were losing him. But you didn’t know how to bridge the growing distance between you.
Drew stood in the living room, staring at the closed door. He felt like the worst person in the world. He wanted to fix it; to make you understand how much you meant to him. But he was so tired – tired of the constant pull between his career and personal life, tired of feeling like he was failing at both.
He sat on the couch, his head in his hands. The apartment felt unbearably quiet without you. The fight replayed in his mind, your words cutting deeper with each pass. I want you to fight for this – for us.
He realized then how distant he’d been, how much he’d taken your support for granted. You’d been his anchor through everything, and he’d been too caught up in his own world to see how much you were struggling.
When you woke up, the sun was streaming through the curtains, but the weight in your chest hadn’t lifted. You found Drew in the kitchen, already dressed and nursing a cup of coffee. His face lit up when he saw you, but it quickly fell when he noticed your guarded expression.
“Morning,” he said softly, hesitant.
You nodded, not trusting your voice.
“I, uh, I thought about what you said last night,” he began, setting his coffee down. “And you’re right. I haven’t been fair to you.”
You looked at him, surprised. “Drew – “
“Let me finish,” he interrupted gently. “I’ve been so focused on my career that I forgot what matters most – you. Us. I don’t want you to feel like you’re not part of my life, because you are. You’re everything to me, Y/N. And I know I haven’t shown that enough.”
Tears filled your eyes, and this time, you didn’t fight them. “I just... I miss you, Drew. I miss us.”
He crossed the room in a few strides, pulling you into his arms. “I miss us, too,” he said, his voice breaking. “And I’m going to do better. I promise.”
For the first time in weeks, you felt a glimmer of hope. The road ahead wouldn’t be easy, but for the first time, it felt like you were on the same page.
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zolass · 11 days ago
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ᅠᅠᅠTHE GOLD AND THE BLUE
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ᅠ···─THE GOLD AND THE BLUE with AETHER
Summary: You were simply a traveler living in Teyvat, one day news spread about two stars falling from the sky. Before the news of a new hero rising in Mondstadt came around, Aether.
This one is simply thought of as a series, where I slowly just try to write about Male Reader with each male character of Genshin Impact, this one is all about Aether. Other's will follow probably (hopefully) soon, none of them have a connection there will be a definitely a story or multiple w Male Reader x All M Genshin Characters, just because it seems fun and we all know we have more house husbands in Genshin (and probably other games) than only one.
But the series will probably have more story errors as I'm mostly just a collector, but I'll try to make some sense w the og game plot and events. There will also be mostly fluff, probably lime and smut and if angst then only hurt comfort, and probably some possessive stuff going on w some characters. MALE READER IS TOP IN THE SERIES. Also this one is short I'll try to make them longer. Obv it will take a while for me to write all of these, hope y'all are patient enough w lil ol' me and stick around for a bit. Hope y'all enjoy and I hope y'all are doing well <3 All credits of the art used as banners go to the original creators!
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It has been a rather long day since you traveled from Liyue back to Mondstadt. The backpack that you carried was a heavy baggage that slowed you down and made you sweat buckets underneath the blazing sun.
But well you can't help it, even after many times of seeing the same scenery and going through the long and painful journey, you always found yourself traveling from Mondstadt to Liyue.
With a heavy sigh, you slung the backpack from your back, placing it on the ground, before wiping the sweat off of your forehead. Glancing up at the clear blue sky, you couldn’t help but just rest on a rock and simply look up. You deserve a break from traveling. 
Suddenly a high pitched voice in the distance caught your attention. As you glanced over you could see the slightly familiar flying silhouette of a small being, Paimon. Slowly another figure emerged, long blonde hair neatly tied to a braid and the all too familiar outfit.
Obviously Paimon wouldn’t be here, if it wasn’t for Aether.
Just as you wanted to look away from the approaching duo, you were stopped by the simple lift of the hand from Aether. You quickly gave a small wave back, before trying to find something to busy yourself with, as it was suddenly so awkward. 
You never met Aether really before, but you knew him. How couldn’t you, when almost everyone in Teyvat knew about him? The glorious hero, looking for his sister.  As you looked through your back, a slight shadow fell onto your legs and a pair of feet were in front of yours.
As you looked up you came face to face with Aether and a smiling Paimon. “Hello there!” she said while waving her small hand at you, which you returned with a small smile.
“Hello,” was your short response.
There was a certain awkward silence between the three of you, as the two stared at you, while your eyes jumped between the two, not trying to basically stare at the blonde. Which was hard– the reason simply being you never quite got a closer look at the other. Just a few glances at the back, when the other visited Mondstadt or Liyue.
“Uhh– I’m Aether, nice to meet you,” the blonde spoke up, while reaching his hand out to you. Surprised you looked at it, before slowly taking it and shaking his hand, “Y/n– call me Y/n.” 
You watched as a sweet smile started to blossom on the others lips, before the voice of Paimon chirped up, “Are you a traveller, Y/n?” she asked, while pointing at your stuffed bag. 
Grabbing both of yours and Aether’s attention, your eyes landed on your bag as well, “Yes, it wasn't hard to guess, was it?” you chuckled. “So Paimon is right! Where do you travel to? Did you see a lot of places in Teyvat? Any food–” suddenly a hand clasped over Paimon’s mouth. 
“I think that’s enough questions for the span of twenty seconds..” Aether mumbled, while Paimon glared at him. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the display in front of you, lifting a hand up to cover your mouth as two pairs of eyes focused on you.
“No problem.. To answer your questions, I only travel from Mondstadt to Liyue and back– which would also answer your second question too,” you sheepishly said. Paimon stared at you with her big eyes, before glancing at her companion, and then back to you.
“Paimon thinks– you should travel with us someday–” Paimon blurted out, only to get her mouth covered again, you looked surprised but it was quickly replaced with a smile, “one day sure.”
There was a small moment of silence, before it was interrupted by another person, “Hey!” a man yelled as he jogged closer, distress and relief on his face as his eyes fell onto Aether, “We need your help,” the man said out of breath. 
Aether threw a glance at you, as you smiled. “Seems like the knight in shining armor has more people to help,” you teased before grabbing onto your bag and swinging it onto your back again, “Wish you the best of luck–” you said while walking a few steps away before turning around, “Hope we see each other again, maybe for a nice dinner on me.”
There was a short moment where Aether seemed surprised at the invitation, but gave you a smile back and a nod, “Stay safe out there,” were the last words from Aether’s side, before he was led away by the frantic man. You watched his back for a while, it felt like all the times before where you were only able to see his back from afar.
With a shake of your head, you turned your back as well as you continued to walk towards Mondstadt.
A few days passed since your encounter with Aether, surprisingly you did see the blonde male a few times in Mondstadt and had a small chat with him, before he was dragged away to help the people in need.
Now you are making your way to the Dawn Winery, as it is the fastest way to Liyue. Yes, you were traveling towards Liyue yet again, maybe with a small stop at the Winery hoping to see a specific redhead, delivering some goods.
With a sigh you couldn’t help but replay the little chats you had with Aether, the other did leave quite an impression on you. The conversation wasn’t as awkward as the first time, as the two of you chatted about travels and a few personal things, which surprised you.
A pair of approaching footsteps brought you out of your thoughts, just as you turned around you spotted the person occupying your mind running towards you. Aether came to a scittering stop before you, his knees bent and his arms holding his body up, while he tried to catch his breath.
You waited for a second watching with slight amusement and curiosity, “Everything alright?” You finally asked, only to get a nod and a heavy sigh. Aether looked at you, after standing back up straight, a small smile formed on his lips. “I asked around where you went, only to hear you want to go back to Liyue again,” he finally explained his sudden appearance. 
A small chuckle left your lips, as you looked at him. “Is that so? You wanted to say goodbye?” You asked genuinely curious about why he came after you. At your words, Aether seemed to slightly falter as he smiled sheepishly. “I wanted to see if you– might want some company– and I thought I would get out of some requests..” Aether said while scratching the back of his head.
You couldn’t help but laugh at the second, slightly quieter reason. Shaking your head, you slightly patted the smaller male on his shoulder, “I wouldn’t mind some company.”
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readychilledwine · 3 months ago
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Peace in the Violence
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Eris Week - Day 5 - War and Adventure
Summary - When the battle for Autumn doesn't end by your one year anniversary, Eris has no choice but to share one more night with you during the heat of war
Warnings - war, mentions of death, smut, using sex as a coping mechanism
A/N - I will be completely honest, I was most excited for this prompt for @erisweekofficial, and I almost was not going to partake this day until this happened. She is only a little thing, but I do love her and her potential.
So many people bash on the sex scenes on ACOWAR, but I don't think they see the bigger picture with them. Those scenes are meant to remind you of what the characters are fighting for. The sex is meant to be symbolic of so much more than sex. SJM, in my opinion, can not properly execute a smut scene during war. Hopefully, I conveyed what I feel those scenes are supposed to represent with this.
🍂Eris Week Masterlist🍂Eris Masterlist🍂Master Masterlist🍂
Dividers by @tsunami-of-tears
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A rough roll of his hips had you gasping as Eris began to lose his gentleness. He was desperate to feel anything besides the looming fear of the battle that was coming. Eris was a skilled warrior, a natural fighter, and had been preparing his whole life for this, but the efforts to dethrone his father were making him question everything.
The war in Autumn had left far too many wounded and more dead. What was supposed to be a simple siege of the Forest House was now more. It was Beron with a legion protecting him. Eris with 6 High Lords in a tent waiting to call their armies. It was Beron refusing the blood duel while Eris put all of his magic into containing battle to just the area they were in to protect the fae of this court. His fae. His court.
You gasped below him before a strangled cry of pleasure tried to leave your throat. It was as if Eris couldn't hear you below him, like he was using all of his tricks to drive more noises from swollen lips. “Eris,” it was a broken call of his name, trying to pull him back to you. To remind him you were the one below him.
His wife. His mate. His love. The one he had set this very fire for.
His eyes met yours and he slowed before forcing you both to roll over, silent admission he could not be in control tonight. He wanted to laugh. One year. One year of marriage spent in bliss, and it was bliss he hoped to seek in this moment of peace you two shared.
Hands. Hands touching your thighs, your hips, your back. Hands roaming every inch of you. Desperate. Aching. Yearning. This wasn't the trip he had planned for your anniversary, but war waits for no male.
When you began to move slowly, he couldn't stop the whimper that fell through his throat.
He was seeking sex.
You had been seeking to make love.
Every bounce was at the pace he was hungry for, his hands settling on your hips to help guide you. You leaned down to kiss him, hands on his chest as he began to meet your movements, pace slowed to savor this instead of rushing.
There were no promises of this happening again, no guarantee that after battle tomorrow your husband would be in bed.
But you had tonight.
You had now.
“I love you,” the words left his mouth in a hushed tone. He needed to say them, to whisper them until his voice and words were etched in your bones.
Eris knew as he was making love to you, as he cherished you on his night, that tomorrow he may die. He knew he was the target in these battles. Not his brothers who so bravely came to his side. Not the soldiers he had been recruiting in secret. Him.
And tomorrow, before you woke up, Rhysand will have taken you to Velaris, hiding you from Beron if Eris will to fail. His mother was already there. His hounds. His wife belonged there too, safe, beautiful untouched.
He memorized every inch of you as you leaned back, pace increasing to give him what he was desperate for. He memorized every freckle, curve, the exact shade of your lips and eyes.
He memorized the noise you made as his thumb brushed your clit, the way your body seemed to shake before you could continue.
He memorized your face as you fell apart for him, forcing his own body to hold back to listen to every note in the song you began to sing.
And when he finally tumbled over the edge, you memorized his soft cry.
This wasn't how Eris planned to spent your anniversary, handing Rhysand your things as you slept clueless to what was happen. This wasn't what he wanted as he kissed you for what could have been the last time. It wasn't all he needed to say as he whispered he loved you again.
His world shifted as Rhysand winnowed your sleeping form to Velaris and he began to pull on the dark illyrian leathers he had borrowed, Azriel waiting in tow, watching Eris prepare to assassinate his father in his sleep.
Risky, unhanded, and cheap.
But war waits for no man.
Not even in his sleep.
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General Taglist:
@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanagers @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish @azrielsmate3 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @meritxellao @aria-chikage @hungryforbatboys @lilah-asteria @fandomrejects @sleepybesson @tayswhp @itsswritten @milswrites @littlest-w01f
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2kyo7 · 3 months ago
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♱ 𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐘 ♱ | SOLEIL
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pairing ; adrian tepes , trevor belmont , sypha belnades x female reader
ཐི ➥ summary ; As the world begins to pay the toll of Dracula's rage, four unlikely heroes must band together and defeat him--no matter the price.
warnings ; swearing
notes ; hopefully the dialogue reads accurate to how the characters actually talk in the series😓😓. Lmk what u guys think!!
ONCE LEAVING ALUCARD's TOMB Sypha wished her people many sorrowful goodbyes, watching for the first time as they traveled somewhere she could not. Soon they themselves would too depart from Gresit and in turn leave for west where their destination rested in between the territories of both OTTOMAN and MOLDAVIA.
Admittedly the journey was...unfavorable to say the least, paths were thick with snow and ice—turning their fires into signals for enemies which hid in the cover of night. Conversation was admirable, but only when Trevor and Alucard were not knee deep in conflict (which happened more often than not).
After yet another disagreement, Sypha attempted to lighten the atmosphere with questions. "Soooo Savior, how exactly do you know of this true blood? And how are you so sure they'll help us?" He released a drawn sigh and look towards the pile of burning wood before him, "we aren't exactly going to meet just one pure blooded vampire—this is a family of them."
Trevor was quick to sit up in protest, but Alucard held out a hand, almost pleading with the man to stay silent for just a moment. "They are family friends... or once were, before my father had a falling out with the family's head." His face became tense with focus as if it was painful to recall such years ago. "The fight wasn't anything extravagant or gruesome—pure bloods' consider themselves above such 'unnecessary brutality' in their words, but we've never spoken another word to each other since."
Alucard clenched his fist in frustration, to keep himself from saying the unthinkable. "Anyhow, they won't slaughter us when we step onto their doorstep if that's what you're thinking, by the time we get there they'll probably be full off lunch." Sypha huffed before crossing one arm over the other.
"You never answered my second question, are you so sure they'll help us—pure blooded vampires are still vampires nonetheless." Alucard placed a hand between his brows where a wrinkle formed, "I'm not."
"Oh bloody Christ almighty!" Trevor held quiet for long as he knew how, now standing from his icy snow bed he threw his arms high in the air. "We're out here in fucking god knows where about to walk into the god forbidden den of an apex predator! JUST MY LUCK!" Alucard scoffed at what he could only describe as a tantrum, "we need a true blood Belmont, whether you soil over yourself at the thought or not. Now as I've said, it's possible they'll refuse to join us, but in any case they won't kill us. That I'm sure enough of."
"Trevor you quite literally kill vampires for a living, how much different can these pure bloods be?" Sypha shrugged her shoulders in confusion, not exactly exhilarated by the idea of the human race depending on the choice of a single unworldly being. "Oh! I don't know speaker, maybe because they're a 100 times faster, stronger, not to mention smarter then your average run-of-the-mill vamps."
"Like I've said time again, there will be no fight."
"Sure, because we'll already be maggot food before we can get a single word out."
And here they go again, Sypha watched them bicker like children over the last slice of bread—how much longer will she have to put up with this? The more they fought, the angrier she became until eventually water appeared from thin air to slightly soak the two. "What in heaven's name?"—"What the hell!" They shout in union, "Enough! Both of you! We have a long journey ahead and none of your childish yelling will get us there any quicker."
With that concluded the conversation for the night's entirety, Sypha slept soundly knowing there wouldn't be any interrupting noise while Trevor nearly froze to death, his lifeline, the glowing fire in front of him. Though Alucard had his fill on slumber, this wouldn't be of any use as he too clung tight to any of the warmth provided to him that unfortunate night.
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After nearly a week of tireless walking during the day while constantly having to fight off hoards of unearthly creatures at night, the trip was proving quite testing. But there efforts were not in vain, finally they'd made it, relishing in their success as a great wooden sign nailed neatly onto high gates read: Welcome to LAVATRIS—population 4,500.
Before they even attempted to make their presence known a man rose from above the gate's entrance, his appearance was a bit disheveled, he had been dressed much too casually to be an official guard of any sort. "State your names and business with Lavatris." His voice was monotone, like he was bored beyond comparison. The three of them looked around to another for a moment, "Ahem. We are stopping by for some shelter...we've been walking for a many days and are terribly exhausted."
The guard stared down upon them with a look of doubt, but prying any further might've killed him. So with a wave of his hand the gates rumbled loudly against ground flooring, opening up just enough for the three of them to pass. "Don't cause any trouble or we'll kill you—blah blah blah." Once entering the gate began to close just as soon as it opened, "that was odd..to say the least."
"Didn't even matter what we woulda said to the fucker, what kind of security is that? I'll be surprised if this town wasn't a complete sh—" Trevor's assumptions had been cut short at the sight of the city. It's streets were bustling and busy, everywhere you looked had been a different story. People were smiling, playing, loving, exactly opposite of what they'd grown accustomed to in Gresit.
Walking along the streets they were in awe, music played on every corner, new smells of delicious foods anytime you turned, it's almost like they had been disconnected from what went on in the outside world. "The city's always been like this," Alucard spoke, a small grin protruding on his face. "These people have been protected by vampire royalty for generations, and in turn they are food pens."
"Tch like a dog on a leash." Trevor said through muffled anger, hands knee deep in his pockets as he looked around with disgust. "No like a fair trade. True bloods value status, and this proves it—having their meals ready to eat whenever they need, without the hunt? That's lavish living for any vampire." Alucard once again contradicts Trevor's statements with venom on his tongue.
"So these pure bloods don't hunt at all?" Sypha inquired, the happy aura becoming almost contagious as she too found herself smiling. "Not in this city, they travel to surrounding areas if they’re feeling extra peckish."'
Deeper they traverse into the city of Lavatris each part being as lively as the rest. "For heaven's sake I need a drink." Trevor dashed towards the ale vendor, slamming down about three gold coins onto the wooden surface below. "Can't you wait a moment's more? Their home is just through this passing."
"Alucard's right Trevor," she snatched the currency in her hands before the vendor could collect, sending them an apologetic look. "The fate of humanity is resting on our shoulders, and all you can think of is a drink?"
He groaned, appearing as if he would combust at any moment now, mumbling beneath his breath: "At the very least wanted a cold one before I died."
They would begin to walk up a steep hill overrun with large trees the size of mountains that have long since lost their coverage caused by the unforgiving winter season. As they continue to march forwards, a dark grand castle begun to shown through, easily seen in deep contrast with the bright evening sky and nature's frosty white blanket. Breathtaking was one word to describe it upon many others.
When approaching, they were met by two towering iron doors that appeared almost implausible to push open on their own intent. Alucard stood in between both Sypha and Trevor, stepping up further than either of his comrades, knuckles raised and ready for impact. "Before we enter, both of you must remember. True bloods aren't like regular vampires, they are not driven by the need for food or power. Instead pleasure and entertainment."
"Just open the godforsaken door." Trevor began to stretch past Alucard, but before he could make contact the doors slowly unfurl revealing only unending darkness inside, ancient gears turned from within while the density of the doors weighted against the marble floors.
Everyone looked to each other, a silent uncertainty weighing heavy on their minds. Alucard was first to ascend further, the others following soon after, and once everyone had gathered entirely inside—the doors swiftly closed shut, a loud BANG promptly following suit—trapping them helplessly inside.
"WHO DARES ENTER MY FORTRESS!"
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ceilidho · 6 months ago
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This is in no way of hating but i want to know why do you enjoy writing noncon/rape? When I first downloaded tumblr which was couple of months ago i was surprised by the amount of noncon fics here. I eventually came to enjoy them which makes me question myself. Whenever i read a noncon fic and enjoy it i feel like im betraying women who actually went through those traumatic events. Plus I actually don't really like dark romance books? I love cod dead dove and that is mainly because i really love the characters and the authors are so talented. I rambled so much and i hope you don't get this in the wrong way i don't mean to hate AT ALL i love the stuff you write. Maybe i shouldn't think too much and let myself enjoy what im reading lol
first of all, no worries! i wasn't sure about your tone/intentions at first, but by the end i was totally fine with the question.
i actually don't mind talking about this stuff - i just sometimes avoid it on main because i prefer chatting about it privately.
second, i'm no psychologist or sociologist, so i probably won't be able to give you the most satisfactory answer, but i think there are a lot of different reasons. i can only name a few. one thing i should mention right off the bat is that rape fantasies are very normal (and this is true whether you're a survivor of SA or not) and writing/reading fiction can be a safe way to process those thoughts/feelings.
one of prevailing reasons is, of course, that many survivors of SA use noncon/dubcon literature/art as a way of processing their experiences and taking ownership of their trauma.
and look, people are going to go back and forth on this point (i've seen it all before - many people refuse to believe that engaging with noncon lit/art is helpful, and in fairness, it's NOT helpful for everyone because every person is different), but at the end of the day, if a survivor tells you "writing/reading this was helpful in my recovery" then that's that!
additionally, for many women and non-binary folk (i can only speak as a cis woman, but i'm sure this is a shared lived experience across many different people), we're also taught from a very young age to suppress our sexual desires / that being open about our sexuality is morally reprehensible and shameful. and a lot of people carry that shame for years, impacting them well into adulthood. so dubcon/noncon fantasies can be a way of being able to enjoy sexual scenarios where you don't have to be the initiator, thus taking away some of the emotional weight and shame.
plus, at the end of the day (and im sure many people will disagree with this take, it's something that i'm still figuring out myself), there is a kind of weird underlying consent implicit in dark fics. like, you might be reading a fic or novel that's ostensibly noncon, but you're also actively seeking out that literature (hopefully it's not just sprung on you - i do very much agree with tagging to the fullest extent and my lukewarm take is that I think all books, even traditionally published ones, should come with content/trigger warnings too).
there are a medley of reasons why someone might write or read dark fiction/dark romance. again, i'm just one person and i can only speak from my own experience!
i think at the end of the day, the important thing to realize is that fiction is fake, and as long as the writer appropriately tags their work and ensures that the audience is aware of what they're getting into when they start reading, they're not coercing the reader into something they aren't prepared for.
and it's totally fine if you have limits (like, you can read and enjoy dubcon, but not noncon) or can't engage with the material at all, but it's also unfair to say that it reflects someone's real life values - the same way that we don't say that the people who enjoy crime fiction must love murder.
and the last thing i want to say because this got a bit out of hand lol, is that, yes, for some people dark fiction is genuinely harmful, whether or not they're a survivor. it's not for everyone and that's completely fine and i'm aware of that, which is why i agree that you should tag as much as possible (even if you feel like you're overdoing it sometimes), but someone else's discomfort doesn't give them the right to tell you how to process your own emotions/experiences/desires/etc.
as long as no one's getting hurt, there's no issue as far as i'm concerned. and sorry but, no one's getting hurt by reading a fic or a novel unless the author didn't give proper content warnings - if you "forgot" to read the tags or read anyway DESPITE being warned, im sorry but that's life.
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writingoddess1125 · 1 year ago
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It seems like a great Morning for DEPRESSION!
You Pass Away Giving Birth
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Buggy, Mihawk, Crocodile
⚠️Warning:⚠️ Depression, Death, Light gore, Character Death, Overall Saddness
Was listening to sad music and wrote this.
Buggy
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There had been complications from the start- being pregnant with twins always had this.. and truthfully Buggy had wanted to curse himself when he learned that he had accidently done this to you. However you remained optimistic- even at the face of peril.
Buggy had hired so many doctors, wanting at least one of them to save you but it seemed that fate was too tightly wrapped around you.
"Y-You're going to be fine I promise (Y/N)-" Buggy said desperately as he sat next to you, watching you battle for the lives of the babies. Another sobbing scream leaving you as doctors rushed in and out with new tools, techniques and more to keep you Alive. However the growing pile of bloody towels and bowls was a clue it wasn't working.
Your mission wasn't to survive but to save the children. Giving Buggys hand a tight bone breaking squeeze you pushed with all your might- Buggy saying words of encouragement till two new lives were brought into this world and you slacked against the bed, pale as paper and your breathing getting shallow.
They rushed the babies to the side of the room as Buggy leaned over you in a panic. Rubbing the hair from your face as he spoke in a panic seeing you slipping away.
"You did it! N-Now Don't leave me please (Y/N)! I'm begging you p-please" He sobbed, but you looked up at him.. gave a gentle smile and worded 'love you' one final time before slipping away right under his fingers... He sobbed and continued his desperate plea for you as he pressed his face against your cold on.
A nurse pulling him back slightly as his world seemed to blur around him- realizing the panic noises of the staff was not for you but for the twins. He didn't even have to say anything as the staff grew quiet at the single newborn cry in the room, sorrowful looks in their eyes as they looked to Buggy. One child laying still on the cot while the other was brought to him.
"I-Im so sorry- Only one survived" The midwife said softly and placed the tiny bundle in his arms still not cleaned and just wrapped in a blanket. Buggy held the suiviving twin, his body feeling cold and chest hollow as he stared down at her beautiful face.. She was so small... so fragile.
He felt his body shake as broken sobs left him and all he could do was hold her close to him, sobbing at the same time the newborn wailed.
"I-Its okay Cry away" He managed to say as he sobbed, feeling it was better in this moment and only this moment to not cry alone. He rocked the both of them in a desperate need to feel comfort at losing the love of his life and one of his children in one night..
He only glanced up from sobbing when the doctor placed a fresh white sheet over you and the deceased child's body. Covering it from sight as the Captian grieved.
Buggy smoothed a shaky hand over the newborn as the Midwife stepped forward to clearn off the newborn and get her dressed. Buggy not even realizing or caring the baby was covered in blood and goo. The midwife was quick, dressing the little girl and handing Buggy a bottle.
The new father still in a whirlpool of sorrow starred to feed her, still crying as before but with a broken smile on his lips.
"I-Im sorry you got saddled with me little one.. It's just us now.. You and me against it all" He said softly trying to ease his crying as the newborn began to down the bottle.
"You look like your mother... I-Im so happy for that... we hadn't figured out names yet, S-So hopefully your mother won't curse me but What about Mei-Mei? Hm?..." He managed as he pulled the empty bottle from her, holding her to his chest and patting her back as he continued to sob.
"Y-Yeah..My little Mei Mei"
Mihawk
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It was his fault... he should have stopped you- It was ment as a journey to find a doctor to assist in your soon to be delivery- Mihawk wanting to keep you behind but you insisted on coming along, but due to the enemies of the past it turned into a battle. Mihawk had been sure he had secured you in a safe place, away from the carnage but who would have known a young man barely out of his teens had spotted him and walked into the safe house with his gun raised and shot you-
He heard it, rushing back to slaughter the boy as he saw you laying there holding the wound to your chest and gasping for air.
Mihawk pressing against the wound to stop the bleeding but it was so close to your heart he was sure you grazed it. Your eyes widened as you touched his arm desperately tears flooding your gaze.
"S-Save them" You managed, Mihawk still pressing all the bullet wound on your chest before feeling your body go limp and heart stop right under his palm.
"No..." He growled, anger flooding his system as he was ready to burn this island to the ground- That was till your words rang in his ears and he placed his bloody palm on your stomach, Feeling the fluttering movement of his still alive child just before the surface. He knew what he had to do... Save them- Pulling the cross from his neck he uncapped it and took a shaky sigh.
"I-Im so sorry"
Mihawk felt for the first time his hands tremble, warm tears flooding his yellow eyes as he took a breath... he didn't have much time... Lifting the blade from his cross he struck down, cutting into your flesh as the warmth of your blood flooded his hands. Something he had never wanted to feel-
With care he cut through the corpse of your abdomen and to the womb- With skinned hands he pulled up his child and held them with care. Panic filling his eyes as he didn't hear a cry or them even move- Tossing the cross to the side he began to do cpr on the little girl, carefully forcing air into her lungs and trying to start her breathing.
"Please..." He whispered as he used three fingers to press on the little girls chest to start her heart, Before she coughed and began to wail into the night air. Mihawk sighing in relief and cutting the cord with his teeth unfortunately due to tossing the blade as he held the baby to his chest- Staring down at the gory mess that was you and he had to closed his eyes..
"I'm sorry (Y/N)..." He whispered both at having to disrespect your body even at your request.. and for you not being able to meet your guys daughter.
"... You were right.. a girl" He whispered, looking down finally at his child who was still crying- Shivering a bit from the cold so he took off his coat and wrapped her tightly in it.
"We will name here Meira.. the light of you" He whispered softly. He knew he needed to get his daughter medical attention but wasn't going to leave you like thisveither. So he buried you and placed all the flowers he could ontop of your makeshift grave- Walking away with his daughter in his arms to the closest village.
Crocodile
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It had all been going to well- yet in a second it changed.. You had gone into labor just hours before and Crocodile knew what to expect some pain, screaming and other discomforts before you gave birth to a healthy baby. However this? The back to back complications that left you exhausted and You had started to bleed during it all and the nurses started to panic...
You were fighting so hard, Crocodile holding your hand as you struggled to bring his child into the world. While his face was stoic and solid you knew the panic behind his eyes.. his wife the only one he would allow close to his heart- and the doctors were scrambling around you to ease the birth.
However you knew... you left it.. and Crocodile did as well.
"C-Croc promise me... you will love them like you love me..I love you" You manage to whisper out, Crocodile nodding hesitantly in agreement to your shaky words whispered voice managing out a 'I love you too'.
A cry ripped through your throat as another wash of pain hit you. Doctors trying to slow down the bleeding- After a few more desperate moments the doctors pulled the screaming child from between your legs. However that wasn't even highlighted as they scrambled to keep you Alive-
Crocodile being pushed to the side as they started CPR but- he felt it... he saw that final breath leave you and thay light fade from your eyes...
His world felt like it crumbled then, a nurse escorting him out to the benches just outside the room. Truthfully he was too dazed to care- the image of you gone still burning in his eyes.
Crocodile sat there in what could only be a state of shock- His wife was gone... ripped away due to his blood. It didn't take long for a skittish nurse to step forward, holding a blue bundle in her arms.
"I-Im sorry sir... I know there is nothing I can say to-" He shot her glare. Forcing her to shut up as she nodded and instead stepped forward to show him the bundle. There laid a plump baby, Crocodile felt his heart clench- especially when he could see the perfect mix between you and him.. Slowly he reached an arm out and took the baby slowly.
He watched the newborn yawn and cuddled into his chest carefully for warmth, sucking hard on the blue pacifier in his mouth as he clearly dreamt of food.
"...You are fortunate.. I loved your mother more then I can dislike you for taking her away... and I promised her" He said calmly down to the baby, holding him close as he stared down at the boys features. His mind drifting to you laying in bed next to him rubbing oil on the stretch marks of your swollen belly talking about all the hope you had for your child and the future...
"Hope... hm.. In honor of your Mother- your name is Kibo.. her last shred of hope"
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helloalycia · 1 month ago
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𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 [𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄] — 𝐒𝐊𝐘𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐘
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one / two / masterlist / wattpad
summary: when someone asks you out, things get tense between you and Skye and you aren’t sure how to deal with it.
warning/s: the usual warnings that have come with this fic lol.
author's note: and here's the last part! this was a fun one to write, and it's always fun to write for naomi since there aren't many characters of hers i can write for!! (still salty terra nova was cancelled 😭). So yeah, hope you guys like it 🥰
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Skye was recording some bits at a studio in the city and we were supposed to hang out after, but I didn't have much else to do and ended up arriving early. As she finished up, I hung around to let her finish, snooping around the building and chatting with some of the staff there.
As I was, I ended up getting caught in some conversation with one of the production assistants, Anna. It was always nice to get to know new people, but I didn't realise it was more than that until she started to flirt with me. Maybe she always was and I was too dumb to notice, but I was awkwardly flattered.
Still, she was interesting and we seemed to get on, getting lost in conversation for about ten minutes. Only when Skye finally finished in the studio and left to find me did the conversation end.
"There you are," she said with a smile when she saw me, before noticing Anna. "Oh, hello."
"You're Skye Riley," Anna noticed with an amazed smile, before glancing at me. "You know, I thought you were playing me when you said she was your friend."
I exhaled with amusement, shaking my head. "Not playing."
She gave me a surprised look before looking to Skye politely. "Sorry, how rude of me. I'm Anna. I work here. Big fan of your music."
"Nice to meet you, Anna," Skye greeted with an easygoing smile.
"You done?" I asked Skye, referring to her work.
"Done," she confirmed.
I nodded, before offering a friendly nod to Anna. "It was great meeting you, Anna. I should go. Skye and I have plans."
Anna nodded. "Of course, yeah, you mentioned..." She paused, hesitating as she glanced shyly at Skye before meeting my gaze. "Did you wanna, maybe, hang out some time?"
I raised an eyebrow, hoping my surprise wasn't too obvious. Skye swallowed awkwardly when she realised what was happening.
"Sorry, I'll give you guys a moment," she mumbled before leaving to wait down the hall.
I didn't know what to think as I looked back to Anna, seeing her waiting hopefully. "I– sure."
Anna breathed out, relieved, as she pulled out her phone. "Great. You wanna put your number in here and I'll text you so you have mine?"
I nodded, body working on autopilot as we exchanged numbers. It wasn't that she wasn't lovely – she really was – but I wasn't used to someone actually outright flirting with me like she had been. Plus, I was always awkward when it came to pretty girls.
"Got it," I said when my phone dinged with a text from her.
"Awesome," she said with a bright smile. "I'm expecting a message," she added jokingly.
"Sure," I said with a nervous smile.
She chuckled before straightening up. "Right, I'll let you go. See you soon, Y/N. Hopefully."
"See you," I said as I watched her leave, still surprised at how someone as pretty as her actually wanted a date with me. And so confidently too.
Shaking my head, I rejoined Skye who was lurking at the end of the hallway, watching the whole encounter as much as she tried to pretend she wasn't.
"Hey," she said when I stopped by her side. "Ready?"
I hummed as I fell onto step with her, the two of us going to the lift.
"So, who was that?" she asked whilst we waited inside. "You got a date?"
I shrugged, still replaying the encounter in my mind. "We just got to talking and I wasn't expecting her to be interested in me, but... yeah. She gave me her number."
Skye nodded, eyebrows raised slightly. "Cool... so are you interested?"
I glanced at her, unsure. "I don't know. I just wasn't expecting it. You know I get talking to people when I'm bored."
She smiled slightly. "Yeah, I do. It's so annoying how social you are sometimes."
I rolled my eyes playfully and continued, "I'm not sure if I'll text her."
She hummed, looking to the lift doors as they opened, and stepped out. Her lack of advice was disorienting me.
"Do you think I should?" I asked, falling back into step with her.
"What?" she asked, glancing over at me with an unreadable expression.
I quirked a brow, wondering if she was even listening. "Text her back?"
She nodded slowly. "Well, do you want to?"
I felt my cheeks grow warm as I looked away, smiling nervously. "I don't know."
"It can't hurt, can it? It might be nice."
I chewed on my lip, pondering her words. I wasn't even sure why I was overthinking it. It was just a date.
"Just take it easy though," she said nonchalantly as we walked out the building and down the street. "You don't wanna lead her on or anything."
"True," I agreed. "Might be worth a shot though. We did get on. The spark was there."
"Just don't get attached," she warned, glancing sideways at me. "You tend to do that."
It took a moment for her words to digest, and when they did, I grew offended. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"What? You do," she said lightheartedly, but it did nothing to put me at ease. Probably noticing my expression, she tried to amend her words. "Sorry, what I meant was– you go all in, y'know? I just don't want to see you get hurt."
I blinked, looking ahead. "Wow. Thanks."
"No, I didn't mean it as an insult," she said quickly, hand wrapping around my arm as if to get my attention. "I'm just looking out for you, Y/N."
I didn't know why her words stung, but they did. Was that seriously how she viewed me? As someone who got overly attached?
It made sense, in some way, especially after everything that happened with us. But it still hurt coming from her, probably because deep down I knew she was right. Except, the only person I'd ever gotten attached to was her. My mistake, I was well aware.
Suddenly, she stopped in front of me, facing me with a guilty frown on her lips. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. It wasn't nice of me to say."
I looked down. "Doesn't matter."
"It does," she said firmly, squeezing my arm. "Really. I'm so sorry."
A little embarrassed, the familiarity of the situation creeping in, I shook my head. "It's fine. Let's just go find somewhere to eat."
To my relief, she gave in and we both continued walking to find somewhere. Admittedly, the tension was still present on my side, my feelings stewing with each step. It was disheartening, knowing she thought of me like that, joke or not.
We ate in an awkward silence, and Skye made attempts at conversation but I couldn't force myself to entertain them.
"How's your burger?" she asked, nodding to my plate. "Food here's nice, isn't it?"
I hummed halfheartedly, picking at my fries.
She sighed softly, losing her smile. "Y/N, I didn't mean what I said before."
"It's fine," I told her once more.
Her eyes flickered between mine knowingly. "You're upset."
I merely shrugged, looking down to my plate, only making her sigh again.
"You should go out with her," she said, as if that was what I wanted to hear and would make up for what she'd said. It only made me feel worse.
I ignored her, instead responding, "Let's just talk about something else. How's your tour prep going?"
She frowned slightly, clearing her throat. "Erm, fine, I suppose... Not long left now. I'm just finalising outfits and..."
As she talked a little about it, my previous anger and hurt had long faded into disheartenment. It was frustrating to admit to myself, but Skye's reaction wasn't one I'd hoped for. I wanted her to tell me not to go out with Anna, that she didn't like the idea. And that's when I knew I was delusional.
And definitely not over my best friend.
After paying for our food, Skye and I left the restaurant, awkwardly lingering outside.
"I should go," I spoke before she could. "I've got some work to do."
She nodded, sensing my mood and not saying anything else. I hesitated, noticing the discomfort in her expression, before pulling her in for a hug. It wasnt her fault I was so conflicted – she couldn't have known anything about where my head was at and taking it out on her wasn't fair.
She returned my hug, relieved. "Talk later?"
I nodded as I pulled back, offering her a small smile, hopefully letting her know that I wasn't upset. At least, not at her.
She returned it, grateful, before squeezing my arm gently and letting me go. Meanwhile, I knew I needed to fix whatever was wrong with me before it got worse.
I did end up texting Anna back and we'd arranged a date a week later. Part of me thought it could be good to put myself back out there with someone lovely like Anna, but the other part of me also used it as a fast track to get over whatever feelings I had for Skye.
Despite our brief argument, Skye was supportive when I told her, being a typical best friend who wanted to know all the details when she could. I believed that if I played the part hard enough, it would feel real and I'd get over her. But no matter how much I tried, I just couldn't.
The date was great. Not a thing I could fault and yet I still returned home feeling deflated and hollow. Anna was the perfect date and we had a lovely time bowling, but all I could think about was Skye and how much I wanted it to be her. It was awful, from that perspective, and definitely made my scrambled head worse.
As I took a moment to collect myself on the couch as soon as I entered my apartment, my phone rang. Speaking of the devil...
"Hey, Skye," I answered tiredly.
"Is your date done? I wanna know everything!" she said excitedly.
I sighed, massaging my head. "Yes, but–"
"Awesome! I just finished some boring photo shoot and am on my way back, but I thought I may as well stop by yours, that cool?"
I scrunched my face up in disagreement, her face being the last I needed to see right now. "I'm actually kind of tired, Skye."
She laughed, sending shivers down my spine. "Oh, grow up, baby. See you soon!"
Before I could protest, she'd hung up, leaving me to drag out a long groan as I leaned back in irritation. So much for self-deprecating for the rest of the evening. 
By the time I'd gotten into my pyjamas and freshened up, there was a knock at my door. Reluctantly, I went to answer it, seeing Skye on the other side.
Her smile faded when she noticed my expression. "Oh, no, how did it go?"
I turned around, flopping down on the couch, face-first. "Average."
The door closed and she approached the couch. "No wow factor?"
I shook my head as she took a seat beside my head, resting her hand in my hair and stroking it gently which did nothing to help with my racing heart.
"It's okay," she said softly. "At least you tried."
I exhaled into the couch cushion before sitting up, facing her as I leaned against the back.
"What wasn't great?" she asked sympathetically, leaning her elbow on the back cushion and watching me carefully.
I shook my head, unable to hold her gaze and instead focusing on the loose thread from the cushion. "It was fine. Anna was lovely. But I just... yeah."
She hummed in understanding. "Sorry."
All I could do was shrug.
After a moment, she lifted her arm out, extending it. "Come here."
I hesitated, unsure if this was the best next move. But I felt like crap and Skye was my best friend first and foremost. So, I crawled over to her and let her pull me in for a hug against her chest. She stroked my hair again, kissing the top of my head and making me sigh with comfort.
"You wanna talk about it?" she asked, voice mumbled as her lips were still pressed to the top of my head.
I shook my head gently.
"Alright." She continued to stroke my hair soothingly. "Wanna get your mind off it? We could watch a movie."
I swallowed thickly, not in the mood for anything right now.
"Or I can leave and give you some space," she continued, seeming to notice my mood.
As much as I hadn't wanted her here, I now didn't want her to leave. Shaking my head, I sat upright. "No, you can stay. We'll watch something."
She searched my eyes with a hint of concern. "You sure?"
I nodded, rubbing my face with my hands. "Yeah. I just need to pee. Pick a film, I'll be back."
She nodded and I got up to go to the bathroom, using it as a chance to splash some cold water on my face too. I sighed deeply, pushing away my conflicted thoughts for the time being and returning to the couch.
As I took a seat, I noticed some snacks on the table, but the weirdest assortment of them. There were cookies, some carrot sticks, hummus and a bowl of nuts.
"Er... what is this?" I asked Skye with confusion, glancing over at her as she returned from the kitchen with two glasses of juice.
"It's all I could find," she answered, before shooting me a disapproving look. "You really need to go shopping."
I cracked a small smile as she set the glasses on the table and took a seat beside me.
"Hey, there's that smile!" she exclaimed with a satisfactory gun.
I rolled my eyes lightheartedly, stifling my smile, and instead distracted myself with eating some carrot sticks. She grabbed a handful of nuts and got comfortable, pulling her legs up on the couch.
"Thanks," I said softly, gratefully.
"You don't need to thank me," she retorted, glancing at me, but I couldn't look at her without feeling strange.
I leaned back and got comfortable, and Skye started up a film on the TV. It was easy enough to settle in and the film was a well-needed distraction from everything. But naturally, I was falling asleep halfway through it. It didn't help that it was late, I was already pretty tired and Skye was extremely comfortable.
By the time the film ended, I was half out of it, in that weird in between state of awake but asleep. My eyes were closed and I was barely paying attention until Skye sighed from beside me.
"That wasn't that bad, y'know," she decided. "I thought it would be worse given the ratings."
I hummed quietly, acknowledging her words but not really listening.
"You didn't even watch it, did you?"
"I did," I mumbled as convincingly as I could.
She chuckled, her shoulders moving and waking me up in the process. "Liar."
A yawn escaped my lips as I forced myself to sit upright, off her shoulder. She was watching me with amusement.
"Comfy?" she teased.
Too sleepy to care, I answered, "I'd apologise, but it's kind of expected if you let me lay on you."
She laughed wholeheartedly, brightening up the whole night for a moment. "You're lucky I find you comfy too."
I sighed tiredly, sitting on my side and leaning on my elbow, propped up against the back of the couch.
"You feel any better?" she asked, and I looked up at her through my eyelashes.
"A bit," I mumbled. "Thanks."
"Stop thanking me," she said with a soft smile, making me scrunch my face slightly.
"Sorry."
She rolled her eyes playfully, stifling a laugh, and I yawned again as I watched her. It could have been my fatigue-induced state, or the fact that I was hopelessly in love with my best friend, but I couldn't stop admiring how beautiful she looked before me. No makeup, messy hair, sparkling brown eyes, cute smile.
It was wrong of me to stare, wrong of my eyes to trace the arch of her brows, the slope of her nose, the curve of her lips... I'd imagined kissing her many times before, but I'd never wanted to actually do it as much as I did now.
She smiled, oblivious to my daydreams, and mimicked my pose, leaning on her elbow on the back of the couch, way too close to my expression. "Whatcha thinking, huh?" she asked playfully.
My breath hitched as my eyes lowered to her lips, only inches from mine. Time stood still. All it would take is a second, but could I?
No, I couldn't. I couldn't ruin everything because of a silly desire.
Swallowing thickly, I moved back and looked away, acting as nonchalant as I could. "Just tired."
She fell quiet as she sat up straight, and I wondered if she knew what I'd wanted to do. Maybe I'd messed it up anyway. It certainly hadn't helped with my conflicted thoughts.
"I should go," she realised. "You should sleep."
I nodded, unsure what to say, and then I saw her making a move to clear up the snacks on the coffee table.
"it's fine, I'll sort it," I said awkwardly, standing up.
She glanced at me. "You sure?"
I couldn't meet her eyes, too hot with shame. "Yeah."
"Okay," she said softly, before going to the door to pull on her shoes.
I lingered awkwardly until she opened the door, glancing at me briefly.
"Goodnight," she said.
"Night," I muttered.
She left and I closed the door behind her, releasing a deep breath. How had I messed things up so easily? All I could hope was I hadn't made her uncomfortable, but it was impossible. Even staring had overstepped, and it was just like she'd said to me a year ago – it was written all over my face. How utterly embarrassing.
That evening haunted me long after, it replaying in my mind over and over like a bad dream. So much that I couldn't bring it in myself to face Skye, not whilst my thoughts were a jumbled mess.
Two weeks passed and I kept our contact to the bare minimum whilst I tried to figure my feelings out. I wasn't sure if I could be her friend anymore, as much as I wanted to be. But it wasn't fair on her if I still had feelings for her.
She messaged me, but I kept my responses vague. My only relief was that she was leaving for her tour in a week, so maybe it would be easier not seeing her as much. Maybe it would've been easier to stop being her friend if I distanced myself long enough.
But it was stupid to think that, not when we'd just reconciled and I thought she wouldn't notice my absence.
I was at my apartment one afternoon when I got an unexpected visit from her. As soon as I opened the door, I raised my brows with surprise.
"Skye? What are you doing here?"
Her eyes met mine sternly. "You're avoiding me."
"What?"
She pushed past me gently to let herself in, leaving me no choice but to close the door after her and spin around.
"At first, I thought you were still upset because of your date with Anna," she started, making me wince, "but then you kept being distance and I just– I don't know what I've done!"
I sighed, feeling stupid for thinking I could get away with it. "You haven't–"
"Don't bullshit me," she snapped, fixing me with a glare. "I'm not stupid."
Her hurt expression forced me to look away, the guilt sinking in.
She took a deep breath before asking in a gentler tone, "What is it? Talk to me."
I tensed my jaw uncomfortably. "Nothing."
"Stop lying," she ordered, before taking my chin and turning my face towards her. Worried eyes found mine. "What is it?"
I pulled back in a knee-jerk reaction, feeling a lump form in my throat. "Don't."
She frowned, confused. "What? Did I do something wrong?"
I sighed deeply, avoiding her gaze. "I can't do this... I'm sorry."
"Do what?"
I swallowed thickly, struggling to find the courage but knowing it needed to be done. "I can't be friends with you anymore."
She paused, taken aback, and her voice broke my heart when she finally spoke. "What? What are you talking about?"
I shook my head, looking down at the floor.
"What?" she repeated, growing impatient, and it only made the whole situation worse.
"I can't..."
"Look at me."
I forced myself to look up, the guilt pressing on my chest when I saw her wounded expression.
"What the hell are you saying?" she asked carefully, searching my gaze. "Is this because of what happened the night of your date? The last time I was here?"
I grimaced at her bluntness, making her tense her jaw. So she'd noticed then.
"It is," she realised.
"You were fucking right, okay?" I spoke abruptly. "A year ago, when we argued and you– you said what you did."
"I was fucking high all the time," she interrupted angrily. "I didn't mean any of it."
"But you did," I retorted, frowning, forcing myself to hold her stare otherwise this was all for nothing. "Deep down, a part of you did and, fuck, it hurt so much because you were right, okay? I– I was fucking in love with you. And I know it was foolish of me, but it was true."
Her eyes widened slightly, stunned, but I couldn't seem to stop now that I'd started.
"It was horrible and it ruined everything and that's why I can't be friends with you. Because I thought I was over it but I'm fucking not, okay? And– and the other night, I didn't mean to make things weird. But my head is a mess and I don't know what to do because all I wanted to do was fucking kiss you, and I know that's wrong, it is. And I'm sorry, but I can't keep being friends with you and put you in this position again. Especially not now."
I was shaking by the time I'd finished, heart racing too fast for me to keep track of. After almost a decade, I'd finally told her the truth. And it didn't feel any more liberating than it should have.
She swallowed hard, looking down with furrowed brows as if trying to digest my admission. I'd been so focused on getting it out of me that I hadn't even had time to anticipate how she could react.
"You were in love with me?" she finally spoke, looking to me with questioning eyes. "You're in love with me?"
I almost scoffed, eyes watering. "Like you didn't know? You said it yourself, Skye..."
She frowned regretfully. "What I said to you that day was awful. It wasn't fair of me. And yes, maybe I did know, but it– I wasn't uncomfortable... I..." She hesitated, before admitting, "I was in love with you too. I just– you deserved better than me. You still do."
I blinked back my tears as I studied her closely, with confusion. There was no way that was true. How could she have thought such a thing?
She stepped forward, slowly lifting her hand to touch my face, gauging my reaction. When I didn't push her away or step back, she cupped my cheek, thumb stroking my cheekbone, and my whole body felt like it was on fire.
"I wanted you to kiss me," she said softly, eyes flickering between mine. "Last time, I– I thought you were going to."
I blinked, taken aback. "What?"
She frowned, looking down momentarily as she said, "I didn't want you to go on that fucking date. But I wasn't going to be selfish and stop you. I just– I care about you a lot, Y/N. You mean the world to me. You always have."
Rendered speechless, I didn't know what to think or say. She'd reacted in a way that I'd never anticipated – never dreamed of – nor thought was possible.
Her dark eyes found mine once more, too close to be anything but a blur of golden flecks.
"I don't want to be friends either," she murmured, before pressing her lips to mine.
My eyes widened with surprise and then she tugged me closer and I instinctively relaxed into her, eyes fluttering close. Her lips were warm and tasted like berries, moving against mine in a perfect rhythm. My hands fell to her hips, goosebumps dancing all over my skin, and I couldn't seem to remember a single thing prior to this.
When we pulled apart for air, every part of my body felt aflame. My lips were tingling and she was still so close, too close for me to find words.
"Maybe things would've been different if I'd been honest in the first place," she spoke softly, breath tickling my lips, only reminding me of the feeling of hers against them.
I didn't know what to say, too stunned by the truth of her feelings.
"I missed you," she admitted, hand lowering from my cheek and to my chest. "It was only two weeks, but I thought I'd ruined everything."
"I'm sorry," I managed to get out, not intending to hurt her.
She shook her head. "Don't be," she assured me, before hugging me tightly.
I let out a quiet breath and wrapped my arms around her, sinking into her embrace. It was still a lot to accept – that she'd loved me too. That she did, even now.
"You haven't said much," she noticed, pulling back with a stifled concern.
"It's just a surprise," I shared, not wanting her to second guess anything. "I really thought... I thought you only ever saw me as a friend. Still trying to process it."
She smiled a little, understanding. "Yeah... I wanted to tell you sooner. Years ago. I almost did. Many times. But everything got bad and it just..." She sighed regretfully. "I didn't want to pull you down with me. That version of me wasn't good enough for you."
I frowned, looking between her eyes. "That's not true."
"It is," she said knowingly. "But it's okay. I want to be better than that girl."
"You are," I said sincerely, taking her hand in mine and squeezing it gently.
Her eyes twinkled as she smiled hopefully. "I hope so. For your sake."
I couldn't help but smile too, touched by how much she cared.
"My tour kicks off at the end of the week, but I'd really like to take you out on a proper date before then," she said, taking my other hand in hers.
"It can wait," I reassured her, "I know it's full on for the next few days–"
"No, no, just one," she cut me off eagerly, squeezing my hands. "Before I have to go and won't see you for ages."
I stifled the urge to laugh. "Okay, but if it's too much, Skye, I can wait until–"
Before I could finish, she leaned forward and kissed me, surprising me for the second time. I was too taken aback to react, and then she pulled away and I felt my cheeks heating up with embarrassment.
"That's got to be my new favourite way of shutting you up," she said with a satisfied grin.
I groaned quietly, flustered, and she laughed at my dismay. I suppose there could have been worse ways.
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