#hopefully the episode tomorrow will help me recover a bit from this scene

[becauseimanicequeen]

I haven't posted much in the past few days because I'm still stuck here:

I know that feeling all too well.

Not that I've had a lover accidentally fall off a cliff and realizing I played a part in having that lover take such a risky job.

But I've lost people who were very important to me. Most of them when I was younger and unable to deal with grief because I didn't have the right tools or support system to help me or show me the way.

I won't excuse Ming's past actions or behaviors. But no one deserves to have to deal with grief alone. It broke me to see him like that.

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Hi Colour! How are you doing today? I don't know about doing meaningful things with my life, feel like I've just been surviving this entire time lol. However I am trying to figure it out and working on building the life I want to live and hopefully I will be able contribute to this world in some way.

I don't think I've ever played a game of trivial pursuit. Have never been to a pub either, not like the ones you have in the UK anyway. Just been to very dirty bars where me and my friends used to drink as much as we could afford, shared questionable food that could potentially make us sick the next day and there were no quizzes or games really haha. So your exp sounds way more fun! 😂

I'm glad you're giving the song a chance! Only Spotify knows how many times I've listened to it lol. I reckon Hozier's going to be my artist of the year for 2021. I love attributing works of art to Dani x Jamie, have a whole ass Pinterest board full with images of paintings, poetry, music and anything that I think relates to them really (yeah I know, I have a problem).

I love everything you've said about how Dani, Viola and the lady in the lake are alike, I hadn't really thought about their similarities before, but everything you've said makes perfect sense. I always saw Viola as a narcissist, even her drive to protect her child felt selfish in a way, don't know if you know what I mean. And when she fades away and becomes the lady she's just pure (almost animalistic) instinct while on auto pilot, bc she only remembers rage and abandonment, she takes anything on her path aggressively unless they're a child. So what she sees in Dani is not processed logically, right? It's pure instinct and emotions, so what she recognizes in her when Dani invites her in is the desperate need to protect this child, so she sees her as deserving. Perhaps she also saw in Dani and opportunity to escape this nightmare. Despite all her faults she didn't deserve what happened to her either.

And don't get me wrong, Jamie is so, so strong and solid and she is my favorite mostly bc I identify with her personality more than Dani's. But we know Jamie is all that even before we learn her story, and I feel like it is expected that she'll be the strong and brave one bc she's had to be that her entire life albeit unwillingly. But Dani? We expect her to break at any given point, I mean she is reaching her limit after all that's happened, with all the weight she's carrying. I remember thinking "Jesus, this girl needs help" when I first watched the show hahaha. But she fights every damn time, she doesn't run away and that's why I find her so fascinating. That's why I thought this song was so fitting. Even if Dani would never see herself that way. But it's Jamie's perspective (and fire signs tend to exaggerate everything 😂) so it feels fitting that she thinks so highly of her baby haha. Ugh I just wanted them to stay together forever. 🥺

Omg yes! I love how you refined this idea, good thing you're a writer and I'm not hahaha. And yeah I'm absolutely here for sapphics with weapons like holy shit imagine Jamie fighting with a sword? 🤤 I'm weak. Hahaha would be cool to see them in a pirate AU too! Maybe someone's already done it? Idk. But aaaah I want to see them in every possible universe hahaha. Makes me want to get back into drawing too. 😩

Aww you two sound like you have a lovely bond going on. Your niece sounds like the coolest! I started out drawing anime too when I was a kid and ended up doing graphic design for a living! How did learning how to draw anime style go for you today?

Hey I'm doing great thank you I hope you are too? I know that feeling because I feel like that's how I have made it to 27 just surviving (barely) and taking things one day at a time to get me to this point and hopefully I can contribute in some way even it its just a small way... so I totally get that feeling but I am sure you contribute so much without you even realising it!! Oh it's great but depending on how competitive the people you're playing with are it can get pretty heated... I've been in some heated games of it before because people just refuse to believe I know the answers to some of the questions and they think I've been cheating and have all but demanded I have another question asked instead of the one I got right... and pub quizzes can be fun again depending on the team you're in and how seriously you wanna take it I have been in teams where its been a serious thing and we have all desperately wanted to win and then I've been in teams and we've just had fun with it... all the pubs I go in are dirty bars too but sometimes they have pub quizzes... I have had many nights where I have drank what I can afford... one night me on my roommate went over board though and we ended up spending ALL our money even our taxi fair and we had to walk home in the dark along country roads with hardly any lights to guide us... because of how drunk we were it too us around 3-4 hours and I fell over a road sign and ended up in a ditch... I've had a lot of fun experiences but some really stupid ones as well... your experiences sound great though!! I would love that!! I listened to the song and I loved it so much!! I don't even wanna know what my most listened to artist will be this year... my money is on it being the Six musical soundtrack... probably All You Wanna Do from that musical I'll be surprised if it's anything else. I would love for it to be someone like Hozier, but ever since I have done my Spotify wrapped thing it's always been a musical of some kind that's been my number 1 song / artist haha I love doing the same thing. If I can make something fit Dani x Jamie I will like it doesn't even matter what it is haha... I don't think you have a problem I think that sounds so cool!! I have nothing like that. I just have a head full of random ideas screaming to be let out I agree Viola is definitely selfish and narcissistic and everything she did came from a place of anger and rage over the things that happened to her she fell in love and got married and had a child and saw her sister try and take that from her while she was ill and in the end her sister killed her. Like yeah, I do feel sorry for Perdita with the way she was treated but I do think everything Viola did was out of frustration over what was happening to her. Like you said she acts on auto pilot and only knows rage until it comes to children- because all she knows is she is looking for a child so when she saw Dani so selfless sacrifice herself for a child she saw a little bit of herself in Dani she knows Dani is a good person and she can relate to that protective streak and I think she did see Dani as deserving I definitely agree with everything you've said here. Viola might have had faults and flaws and who doesn't? But I definitely think she had it rough and did deserve better than she was given. I agree, you can tell looking at Jamie that she is strong and brave while Dani comes off as the exact opposite. But I think you see fully how brave they both are when Dani sacrifices herself for Flora and when Jamie offers to keep Dani company and loves her despite knowing she won't be able to love her forever. I love Jamie but definitely relate to Dani's personality more, there are a lot of things Dani does that I see myself in her because I have done those types of things myself and the whole beast in the jungle speech resonates with me so much and every time I watch the last episode and hear that speech I am a crying mess from that point on. It's funny that you thought that about Dani when you first watched it, because me and my sisters got my mum to

watch it and she said the same thing about Dani "she needs help" but then once told me she liked Dani because she reminded her of me that was an interesting conversation to be a part of "Dani needs help... but I like her she's like you." I was like "Thanks?" I agree this song is definitely more how Jamie would see Dani, I think Dani just has a very blasé view of herself, like I don't think she's self conscious or self deprecating in anyway but I think she sort of walks around like "this is me and this is just how I am" where as Jamie just sees Dani for how brave and strong and amazing she is- maybe even if as a fire sign she exaggerates a little bit haha Jamie just thinks Dani is the most amazing person in the world and I just know that Dani saw her the same way!! I really wanted them to be together forever... I am never going to emotionally recover from Bly Manor. Your idea was incredible and I think it would be a great story to read honestly that's the type of thing I live for!! OMG Jamie with a sword is just 🤤 🥵 I am all for sapphics and weapons of any kind!! There's this pirate AU which is absolutely amazing!! I don't know if you've read it or not but iamalekza writes some really great fics!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/28631598/chapters/70179306 ^^ Pirate AU I really wish I could draw I would love to be able to draw scenes from fics I have read and even ones I have written but I just don't have the skill set for that!! I would love to see other fan arts though I think drawing is such an incredible talent to have and I am in awe of anyone that can do it!! Me and my niece have a great bond, she's like a little mini me (despite almost being as tall as me). She is honestly such a cool kid I have a hell of a lot of fun with her- I'm looking after her again tomorrow and I have no idea what we're gonna do but we will figure something out... she's such a good drawer she's only just started doing it at the beginning of the year and she's really progressed with it... I however have not so I am definitely gonna need more practice. That's so cool that you started out doing anime drawing and then ended up going into a career in graphic design. Again that's a talent that I am just in awe of because it's just something I have never been able to do!!

[waejinyoung]

Can’t Swim - EP . 8

Can’t Swim 8

word count: 3.2k+

a/n: you might be questioning where I have been for the past couple of months. I have one word to say that should be a good enough answer. College. I’ve been studying none stop and found no time to write the next episode after university started. The posts will no longer be regular so just keep yourselves updated. Hopefully I will have another 2 episodes up between now and the end of the year at least but don’t quote me on that. I hope you enjoy! 

I’m deeply sorry for my absence again x

warnings: nothing

EP . 1 , EP . 2 , EP . 3 , EP . 4 , EP . 5 , EP . 6 , EP . 7 , EP . 8 , EP . 9

THIRD PERSON POV

The afternoon continued with Y/N and Jinyoung discussing life and getting to know one another whilst Y/N replied to her emails.

“It’s mind b-boggling how you and J-Jackson may have crossed paths back in 2012…” Y/N had just mentioned how she was training for the London 2012 Olympics to compete for swimming.

“Similar to Jackson, I switched career paths and decided to study architecture. Dad wasn’t the biggest fan until he saw the passion and success I had gained in the industry. He soon came to terms with everything.”

“Wow… do you r-regret it at all?” The clock marked 10:30 pm. You guys had been talking for the past 90 mins, getting to know each other.

“I think I regretted not swimming after deciding to study architecture. I didn’t choose to not compete in the Olympics because I no longer liked swimming so I do regret not continuing although I must say, studying architecture might be the most time consuming degree out there. That’s why later on I decided to apply to become a licensed swimming teacher to undergo lessons. I’d be teaching people how to swim whilst fulfilling my love for swimming.”

“Best of both w-worlds, r-right?”

“Exactly.” Y/N had now placed all her work to aside with her back against the wall, legs crossed enveloped into the conversation.

Some seconds went by and Y/N wanted to know about Jinyoung’s initial dreams.

“What about you? Did you always want to be a singer?”

“Always. I took up d-dance lessons when I was around 15. Then went to a-audition and got in to JYPE. That was when I met J-Jaebeom. We actually d-debuted together as a d-duo group called JJProject to later on d-debut with the r-rest of the g-guys as GOT7. Since t-then they’ve been my f-family rather than just my m-members. I think it’s g-getting to the p-point where I might have spent m-more years of my l-life with them then I did without. Time flies…”

“I could definitely sense the brotherly love you guys all have for each other. So how did becoming an actor happen?”

“I r-requested from the c-company to find roles I could take part in a couple years b-back. First it was small roles in small d-dramas and then being c-casted by more known d-directors to p-play bigger roles. All of that has l-led me to play s-second male lead for ‘When My Love Blooms’.”

“When do the episodes start airing?” Y/N had grown eager about Jinyoung’s talents.

“Hold your h-horses… we haven’t e-even started f-filming yet and won’t be until I r-recover… The original airing d-dates will probably be p-pushed f-further.” Jinyoung’s words drifted into a sudden realisation for his career.

“If only-“ Y/N was about to blame herself again.

“We’ve been through this m-multiple times Y/N. None of this is your f-fault so s-stop blaming yourself for t-things you have no c-control over.”

Y/N had her mouth open ready to retaliate but if she had to be honest… she couldn’t be bothered to fight back considering it was now coming up to 11:00 pm.

“Fine.” Y/N yawned and covered her mouth. Work had been extremely busy today especially with all the news floating around now.

“S-someone’s tired.” Jinyoung eyed Y/N’s tired state and decided to call it a night.

“I still have so much to do. I can’t fall asleep now.”

“C-could you n-not spare an e-early n-night just for t-today?” Y/N recollected her thoughts weighing up if she could possibly sleep early tonight and get all the work done tomorrow.

“I could…”

“Problem s-solved then. Clear up your b-bed and get your pjs on. I d-don’t want to f-face a t-tired Y/N tomorrow m-morning.” Y/N eyed your mean comment and huffed to your orders.

“Yes, sir.”

2 WEEKS LATER

Y/N’s POV

“Miss, Jinyoung has been recovering quicker than expected. He should be perfectly fine to attend the event. If anything unsettling happens you can give me a direct phone call.”

“Thank you so much Doc.” You gave the doctor a large smile and she reciprocated a reassuring smile.

You entered Jinyoung’s room with your outfit for the architecture awards festival along with you.

“Am I allowed to come?” Jinyoung asked as soon as you entered the room. You gave him a nod.

Jinyoung’s voice was more or less back to 100% and his eye had completed healed by the end of last week. There wasn’t much left until being fully recovered. Possibly parting from the hospital quicker than the original 2 months the doctor had estimated.

“I knew I’d get the green light. I even prepared my outfit because I was so sure I’d be able to come.” You hadn’t seen someone so ecstatic for an awards festival.

“As expected… I’m not even surprised. Will you be able to get dressed? Need any of my help?” Jinyoung was still a little instable since he’s been lying in bed for the past 2 weeks. His legs tend to give out for the first 30 mins.

“I think I can manage. I’ll get dressed quickly and then the bathroom is all yours.” You chuckled at his assumption that you’ll take really long in the bathroom for the event.

Jinyoung heads towards the bathroom and you are left there practising a speech you’ve written for all the awards you and your company have been nominated. This isn’t because you knew you were going to win any of them but… the unprofessional scenes if you guys were to win an award and to not have a speech ready daunted you. There was nothing wrong with being prepared.

15 MINUTES LATER

You must say… I don’t think you had ever laid eyes on someone so handsome in your life before. You could swear that this man was carved by God himself.

“How much deeper are you going to fall into my looks?” You hadn’t realised but you had been staring Jinyoung up and down for the past 30 seconds of him leaving the bathroom. Hair all styled. The suit was literally made for him. His cute bow tie was a little wonky leading you to let out a chuckle.

“What?” Jinyoung’s face turned serious thinking something was wrong with how he looked.

“Your bowtie is wonky.” You stood up from your seat and reached out to fix his bowtie. Your eyes were fixated in straightening the bowtie and all Jinyoung could do was analyse your face and how focussed you were.

“There you go. Looks better now.” You lightly let go off the tie and looked up at Jinyoung who was already staring right back at you. Those bambi eyes were going to be the death of you.

“Thank you. Now go and get yourself ready.” He pinched your nose and then you entered the bathroom with your dress, makeup bag and accessories.

20 MINUTES LATER

“Jinyoung~~” You called out for Jinyoung. You were done with everything but couldn’t reach the zipper on the back of your dress. You had been procrastinating on what to do and just gave up. There’s no way you could zip the dress up alone.

“Yes, Y/N. Is everything alright?” You could hear his footsteps come closer to the bathroom door.

“In a bit of sticky situation… could I ask you to do a favour?”

“Sure, what is it?” You went ahead and unlocked the door for him. He took a step back and couldn’t contain the sight in front of him. You were in a red bandeau strapless dress which had a structured skirt that was shorter at the front and longer at the back with. A very slight trail. Unsurprisingly your makeup was the bare minimum and you had left your natural hair out. His mouth was agape as you stepped out of the bathroom.

“How much longer are you going to stare for Mr Park?” He had been in the same awe you was when he had stepped out of the bathroom earlier on.

“Yes…right… the favour?” His soul re-entered his body trying to compose himself. You could only smile on the effect you had on the prince himself.

“I can’t reach my zipper, could you zip up the back of my dress for me?” You saw his cheeks blush a light pink below the thin layer of bb cream he had on. Without the zip done neither of you were going anywhere so he had to do it.

He wasn’t able to give a verbal response and just nodded. You turned around to have your back facing Jinyoung. He moved your hair to aside exposing half of your back to him. He was blushing so hard right now and was happy to have you facing away from him even though in a matter of seconds you’d be facing him seeing the shades of red planted on his cheeks. Jinyoung gently placed one hand on the zipper and the other hand on your back holding the fabric of your dress still. His fingers grazed your skin and they were a little cold leading you to jolt a little by the surprising cool touch. He notices.

“Did I hurt you?” His voice was a little worried. The slightest worrying reaction you make, and he’s so concerned. He’s too sweet.

“Nope, your hands are just a little cold that’s all.” You say whilst you chuckle.

He apologises with his soothing voice and zips up the dress, letting out a quiet done when finished.

You turn back round and thank him for his kind gesture. You also noticed the flush of his cheeks. He’s so cute, you thought. You quickly put your heels on and left Jinyoung’s patient room and entered the hall of the hospital. Expectedly, you guys received some stares and some whistles by the old women sitting outside their patient rooms. The event manager had organised a limousine to pick up each nominee for the awards hence why there was a lovely jet black limousine parked at the entrance of the hospital. The driver spotted you two and guided you the way and kept the door open for you two to enter the fancy vehicle. He ran back to the wheel and started driving towards the venue.

“Anything I need to know beforehand? Who should I present myself as?” Jinyoung had started with the questions during the car drive.

“Who’d you like to present yourself as Jinyoung?” You wanted to fish out his intentions from him.

“Preferably your boyfriend in order to stop those punks from hitting on you but I’d never want to force you into a relationship with me…” He side eyed you as he kept looking out the window. You so wanted him to be your boyfriend.

“Logical. Agreed. If anyone asks, you’re my boyfriend.”

“What an honour.” You slap his thigh due to his sarcastic tone.

“Whatttt? I’m serious. I’m going to be the boyfriend of an amazingly talented architect who’s bound to receive an award tonight. It’s a genuine privilege.” You could only look at him in awe as he described the so called ‘privilege’ he was taking part of.

“If you say so…”

The humming noise from the motor of the limousine was really calming but Jinyoung broke the silence once again.

“Are you nervous?” His tone was much deeper and serious compared to how he was a second ago.

“A little. These awards happen once a year and we’ve progressed so much as a company but so has everyone else in the industry. It’s hard to tell if we’ll be receiving the major validation from the institute. With or without the award tonight I’m so pleased with my company, but it would be nice to get a recognisable achievement for all our hard work.” Jinyoung listened to you as you let out your insecurities for the upcoming night.

“In the little amount of time I’ve met you, I think you’re the only person who deserves all the awards you’ve been nominated for this year. No one can change my thoughts and it’s going to be a pleasure to witness your achievement first hand. I can’t wait.” He rubbed his thumb over your knuckles trying to calm your nerves down. It was going to be a long night.

30 MINUTES LATER

Your limousine had rocked up to the red carpet laid out on the floor outside of the venue of the awards. You took a deep breath as the driver ran around to Jinyoung’s side of the limousine to let him out. Jinyoung agreed to open your door for you so he exited the vehicle first. Like he had planned, he went around to your side and opened the door for you to step out. The cameras started capturing every single moment as you wrapped your arm around Jinyoungs, and he gave you a reassuring nod. You gave him a smile and the two of you walked towards the entrance of the building slowly as you waved to the cameras and press greeting the two of you. The cameras were close to blinding, but you pulled through until reaching the entrance where the bodyguard escorted the two of you to your spaces in the main hall.

The building was full of white and gold decorations. You could definitely tell that the theme was highly influenced by Greek culture. The budget of the awards keep growing as the number of sponsors increase. The bodyguard escorted you to the table that Beck was already sat at with his fiancé. Beck realised your presence as well as Jinyoung. He stood up to give you a hug and shook Jinyoung’s hand. Beck’s fiancé shook both of your hands too and took your seats.

“The famous Mr Park. It’s nice to meet you in person. I’m Beck, the other shareholder.” Beck gave Jinyoung a warm smile.

“It’s nice to meet you to Beck. It seems like you already know of my name, but I’ll reiterate for the norm. My name is Park Jinyoung, you can call me just Jinyoung.” You let out a scoff because of how formal Jinyoung was being with Beck.

“He’s younger than you so you can ignore the formalities.” You said to Jinyoung and then Beck and him opened the conversation about age and their Chinese zodiac signs.

The evening began at 7:30 pm with the award winners due to be announced at 9:00 pm. Until then there was butterflies in your stomach ready to be set free any minute now.

Jinyoung came closer to your ear and whispered, “Loosen up a little. There’s no need to be this tense. Here hold my hand.”

Jinyoung offered his hand and you took it immediately as he gestured his open palm. Your hands were tiny compared to his manly hands. They encompassed all your digits giving you’re a sigh of relief because of the security they exerted. You let out a large sigh and continued with the discussions on your table with the new clients that were interested in your company. Having Jinyoung at the event really helped scare away the useless men who would only be interested in your physique and nothing more. His presence filtered out all the nonsense that would usually be taking place at the table.

The clock finally struck 9:00 pm and everyone went back to their designated seats in order for the awards to be presented. The event holder went through all the minor rookie awards to then move onto the company categories.

“Here are the nominees for Best Project of the Year.” The event holder signalled to the larger screen behind him as the nominees including your company are mentioned in no specific order.

“I was personally really fond of this project myself too. The meaning behind the design and the immense detail put into the façade really makes me excited for the future of this company. I’ll stop blabbing on and open the envelope.” You looked at Beck and then back at Jinyoung who was really eager to know the result.

“The award for Best Project of the Year goes to…” The event holder lifts the flap of the envelope and takes out the white sheet of paper inside. You hold your breath waiting for the result to be spoken.

“The Chamberlain project, designed and constructed by Chevrel Architects.” The whole community around your table started roaring and cheering for you and Beck to claim the award. That was one award written down in the books for Chevrel Architects, a company you and Beck had started years back. You and Beck had decided that if this award was given to you guys then he’d give the speech for it. Beck was the reason for the Chamberlain project happening and hands down you could state it was because of him the project turned out well. You, Jinyoung and everyone else in the hall stood up clapping as Beck walked up to the stage and shook hands with the event holder along with receiving the award. He then walked up to the mic and started his speech.

“I’d like to first start off with a large thank you to everyone at Chevrel Architects. The amount of hard work that was put into the Chamberlain project is indescribable, without everyone’s help it wouldn’t have been possible to achieve such a great outcome. I’d like to also thank Y/N for coming on this journey with me and trusting in me when I said that this company will create its own legacy. This is only the beginning…” Beck continued to thank more or less everyone he knew and came to an end with another roaring applause by everyone.

He jogged back to your table and you admired the award he placed on the table. You felt Jinyoung squeeze your hand in encouragement for you to realise how much you guys are capable of although he still knew you were a little iffy because the individual architect awards hadn’t been announced yet. You couldn’t help but smile at the gleaming object right before your eyes. Having received this award you doubted that another award would be given to someone of the same company.

Minutes went by and the event holder had reached the most awaited award of the night. Architect of the Year. You were surprised that you hadn’t left to use the restroom to throw up all this anxiety already. You were so ready to go home and relax. You wanted your normal heart rate back. You looked at Jinyoung and he gave you a look that melted your heart in seconds. He started massaging your knuckles with his thumb again and you could feel your body ease into his touch. The event holder for the last time of the night directs our attention to the screen for the listing of the nominees. Beck unfortunately wasn’t nominated so he was rooting for you to win the award.

“I know for many of you this is probably the most important part of the night. I’d like to first mention that to be able to be nominated for this award is ana achievement in itself so, you architects should all be proud of yourselves. It was a very hard decision that the committee made but we were able to make a decision. The award for Architect of the Year goes to…”

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I think it was mean of me to have ended this episode here, but it is 2:30 am right now as I write this episode. I hope you guys liked this episode. I shall be back somewhat soon so make sure to come back to check if an episode has been uploaded. Like always let me know your opinions on the story line and check out the other episodes if you haven’t. It would be nice to get some feedback :)

See you next time

writer-nim x

[doof-doofblog]

"You'll Never See Your Little Boy Again!"

Friday 23rd October 2020

Hello again everyone! This will be my final post of the week, I realise it's also late but I hope that now I'm up to date, I can focus more on being on time with next week's posts. I'm looking forward to reviewing this episode as the previous was full of drama, here's hoping this one will be the same!! Let's head straight into it!

The episode starts pretty much where the previous one left off regarding Stacey. Martin and Ruby are enjoying quality time with the children, the sounds of children's laughter can be heard. Martin looks over at his wife and smiles happily that they've finally been able to spend time together with the children. Suddenly Ruby's phone pings and we can that she's received a message from an unknown number with the text "She got the message!" with a photo of Stacey on the floor. So it WAS Ruby who planned the attack on Stacey!! Now Stacey is NOT stupid, she is going to know that Ruby will be behind it! But in all seriousness what steps can she take next? If Ruby is turning to violence, then maybe Stacey needs to play dirty too?! Unbeknown to Martin, his ex-wife he sat outside trying to recover from her shock. As Stacey gets herself together Kheerat finds her and asks if she's okay and if she needs help. Stacey isn't interested in anything but confronting Ruby, but Kheerat is insistent that she gets her wounds looked at, he informs her that his office is just few doors down, he can take a look at it before she goes barging in and confronting Ruby.

The conversation between Phil, Denise, Jack and Ritchie is still ongoing! Phil is eager to get Denise on side, she asks whether the police can help them but unfortunately if they do, it would only mean Raymond going into care. The only way they have any chance of getting Raymond away from Ellie legally is if she agrees to take part in a private fostering arrangement, but they need her to make her decision tonight! They need to act fast for their son. Jack insists that he and Denise need to discuss this in more depth alone, which Phil agrees, but he urges Denise to do the right thing and she hasn't got long to decide.

At the Allotment, Sharon has taken some time on her own to be with Dennis's belongings. Its obvious she still very much misses her son terribly. She holds his hoody close to her, next to her is his wallet, she takes a look inside and pulls out to find the football ticket to West Ham United she bought him before his death. She sighs softly and beings to sob into her sons hoody.

Meanwhile at Kheerat's office, he's managed to persuade Stacey to get her wounds cleaned. Stacey has seemed to have calmed down a bit but she wants to make sure she leaves with enough time to give Ruby what for! Kheerat asks what the whole situation was about and Stacey is surprised that he wants to know, so she explains to him what basically started the whole feud. Can I also just say, it's nice to see two characters such as Kheerat and Stacey, who have very rarely shared a scene, come together like this. As she finishes off cleaning herself up, she gets herself together and makes her way to leave. Kheerat stops her in the tracks and tells her a really good point, the only person who'll be seen as the bad one for ruining the children's night will be her if she barges in on them. She be playing to Ruby's tune basically, if she looks bad in front of her kids, Ruby will only look to be the better outcome. Stacey knows that he has a point, she'll have to play just as dirty and put on a show in front of her children.

At the Mitchell household, Callum and Ben are discussing Phil's chance on getting Raymond. Their concern is if Jack won't agree then there could be a chance that Denise won't agree also and their chance of getting Raymond will be gone. As Phil returns home, both Callum and Ben are eager to hear whether he has any news, he informs them both that she's thinking about it, but where Jack is concerned, he wasn't best pleased to see Phil. Its then that Phil informs them that he needs Callum's help, tonight! Ellie isn't going to sign Raymond over willingly, so they need to find a way to scare her into doing so. Phil pleads to Callum to try and find something that they can use to scare her in an attempt to get Raymond. Will Callum be able to do what he's asking. Over on the other side of the Square, Jack and Denise are also discussing Ellie and Raymond. Jack also knows that Ellie won't had over her Grandson easily, but Jack's concern is also them not being able to carry on their lives without Phil Mitchell in it. In all honesty, Phil won't have anything to do with Denise and Jack themselves, just Raymond - so I don't see what Jack's problem is. If Raymond was his son, wouldn't he be doing the same thing?! He leaves Denise to be alone with her thoughts as he goes to the Vic.

Eventually, Sharon finds her way back to the pub, clutching hold of her deceased sons clothing. Ian is quick to approach her and ask if she's okay. He notices what she's carrying and his face looks as if he's seen a ghost. He assures his friend that he'll be there for her if she needs anything. Sharon smiles softly, thanks her friend and heads on upstairs. As she leaves, Ian once again looks guilty to the core and perhaps a little scared. I know this might sound incredibly daft, but with Dennis's belongings back in the Vic, will Ian end up getting the feeling that he's being haunted by Dennis's ghost? Who knows? Lucy haunted her younger brother, Bobby. Could it also happen to Ian? Which will eventually cause him into revealing the truth to Sharon about how her son actually died.  

Oh gosh the next scene really tugged at my heart strings! It's been such a long time since Stacey has talked about Bradley to anyone! She begins to explain to Kheerat about all the blokes she has had in the past, how it never meant anything other than sex. Until she met Bradley! I think Stacey will always have a place in her heart for Bradley. He was her first love. Okay their relationship was never simple, but I truly feel that they loved each other more than anything in their life. The night Bradley died will always be with her - as she reveals to Kheerat that he died because of her. Which is kind of true, but it happened out of love. It made me a little bit teary when Stacey got a upset - I think everyone loved Stacey and Bradley together, they were such a perfect couple. I do miss Bradley and I'd love to see him return to the Square, but of course that will sadly never happen!

Back at the Mitchell household, it looks as if Denise has made her mind up, she walks into their living room silently, Phil is on edge waiting to hear her decision. She then states that she's in and the only way they can do this if they support each other, no more fights, everything they do will be for Raymond. They both agree to join forces and do what's right by their son. Ben's concern however is Jack, but Denise informs them that she will deal with Jack, hopefully she'll be able to make him see sense! But as this conversation is taking place, Callum is at the police station and has hacked into DI Thompson's account to get information on Ellie. Unfortunately, DI Thompson catches him in the act and warns him that what he is doing could be a sackable offence, Callum claims that the only way they can get Phil behind bars, is if he trusts him. Callum needs to make sure that Phil can trust him - DI Thompson agrees and allows Callum to continue using his account to find out what he needs to know. However, I'm still unsure whether Callum is really working with his colleague or not?! Part of me is thinking that maybe Callum will dupe his boss into thinking that he's helping them, and will be more on Phil's side. But then also things may go wrong and he may feel like he has no choice?! What do you guys think? Will Callum play dirty with the police or with Phil?!

Back at the Vic, Sharon is drowning her sorrows as she sits alone with Dennis's clothes. Ian finds her and makes a quiet entrance to make sure she's okay. He passes over to her a birthday card (I had no idea it was her birthday!) What a birthday she's had, receiving her deceased son's clothing from the scene of his death. Absolutely devastating! This is where both Sharon and Ian both come together after such a long time of misunderstanding and hatred. Sharon recalls on how Ian was there for her during the days after Dennis died, and she will forever be grateful to her friend supporting her in her time of need. She asks him whether things can go back to the way they were between them and Ian is more than happy to oblige and confirms that he wants the same thing. As lovely as this scene is, something tells me that their happiness and friendship isn't going to last long - I mean, how long can Ian hide the fact that he's to blame for her son's death?! Secrets always come out in the end!

Back at Kheerat's office, Stacey is wiping away her tears and apologising for getting emotional, but it's understandable. She lost Bradley a long time ago and now she must feel like she's lost Martin also. Kheerat can sympathise with her as he admits that he also loved someone who tragically died, revealing her identity to Stacey - Chantelle Atkins. Stacey appears surprised but also gives her condolences to Kheerat. She goes on to compliment him, saying he's a nice bloke and anyone would be lucky to have him. Its then that their eyes meet and Stacey instructs Kheerat to shut the door, as he does so she informs him that what's about to happen with just be for tonight, when tomorrow morning comes, she won't even acknowledge him in the street. With their mutual understanding, they sleep together! Okay another pairing I never thought I'd see, but maybe this could be something? Kheerat and Stacey? What do you guys think?!

After being with the Mitchell, Denise enters the Vic to find Jack and without a word, he can see that she's agreed to help Phil. Jack at first seems disappointed and let down. He begins to ask her where he fits into her plans - sorry but, this has nothing to do with Jack, if Denise wants to fight for her son, she can! She doesn't need his permission! - Anyway, Denise tries to plead to her boyfriend, she tells him that she loves him and she would never do anything to put him and his children in danger. She does however ask him whether he can stand by her as she fights for her son, as what she wants is to bring Raymond up with Jack and make him a part of their family. I think much to Jack's annoyance, he will stand by Denise. Any parent would want to fight for their children, right? Surely Jack will be able to understand that and support his girlfriend?!

The final scene of this episode, Phil is waiting patiently in the Arches. Ellie suddenly marches right in, expecting there to be some kind of confrontation between them. However, Phil holds his hands up and admits he doesn't want a war. He informs Ellie that he will give her the money for Raymond. But being the vindictive woman that she is, she informs him she's adding tax onto the payment for messing her around! Phil is absolutely staggered, but before she can leave the building he agrees to her terms. Only if she can give him a few more days to get the money together, but Ellie makes it even harder for him and informs him that she wants the money by tomorrow, otherwise he'll never get to see Raymond ever again!

My first thought to this is, what is Phil playing at? But then I also think he must have some kind of plan? No way would he give her so much money! There must be some kind of plan in place, is she duping Ellie in an attempt of tricking her to get Raymond?! But now with Denise on side, what's going to happen? Considering Ellie has also given him a deadline, I think he knows he's going to have to act fast, whatever the plan may be!!! Ooooo I'm excited to see what next week has in store! Thank you guys for reading, I hope you enjoy this post as much as I have! I'll be back on Monday! Enjoy the rest of your weekend everyone! xXx

[pink-jindallae]

At the hospital / Part 1

[Nathaniel/Candy] full angst / heavy mention of panic attack Hospital scene from episode 16 completely rewritten. I'm so slooow to write ;-; 

Words: 3464 Author note: Before starting this reading, I would like to highlight Candy's mental state of this episode. I personally felt a lack of investment as Nath's girlfriend. If he wasn't her LI, okay, sure. But as her boyfriend I don't agree. She saw him bleeding to death a few hours ago and she just leaves? Amber asking Candy to stay alone with Nath? Um, no? I'm not sorry to say that I have the fucking right to be with my boyfriend, as much as her.   As a writer and as Nath stan, I couldn't let it pass. I got so much frustrated that I had to rewrite the entire hospital scene because first; I can. Second; Beemov cannot get me away from my man like that. LET ME STAY. And third: I LOVE the angst.   Anyway, I hope you will enjoy the angst nonetheless ;) 

Candy P.O.V.

Nathaniel has been awake for over an hour now. A little while ago, Kim and I were interrogated separately by the police about Nath's assault before they got to question him. Kim assured me soon after that she had repeated word for word Nath's version. As for me, I did the same with a robotic voice, too tired mentally and physically to pretend to be fine in front of the policemen. They didn't ask me too much questions, perhaps discerning my torment. Just after the police left, a nurse came to report on Nathaniel's state. We were relieved to hear his wound wasn't too deep and his organs were untouched. However, she also informed us that Nath had a head injury, so they had to keep him under observation until tomorrow to see how his condition is evolving. My face had blanched during her whole speech, but I didn't interrupt, unlike Amber who peppered her with so many queries. She acted like a lion mama, nearly throwing a tantrum in the hallway, thankfully Kim was there to calm her down. The nurse only concluded by saying we could now visit Nathaniel, although not for too long since he was still recovering and probably exhausted by his prior interrogation. To my surprise, Amber requested to stay alone with him for an unknown reason. I initially didn't agree, because even if she is his sister, I'm his freaking girlfriend and there was no fucking way I would leave like that! Not without seeing him safe and sound. Besides, how she asked rubs me the wrong way, like I wasn't that much important. I acknowledge she has a special bond with her brother, still, it wasn't a good reason enough to push me aside. I know she has changed and I don't rightfully hate her anymore, but God, I just wanted to punch her face at that moment. Hopefully she agreed to let me stay in the end, thanks to Kim who interjected in my favor. However, Amber still demanded to see him by herself first and to avoid another outburst in the hospital, I let her do as she pleased despite my own wish to come along. Only because I would be alone with Nath after as she promised not to be too long. When Amber left, Kim kindly offered to stick around with me a little longer, to which I refused. While I'm grateful for her concern, I needed to be by myself for a moment. Moreover, I would have felt bad to monopolize her presence just for my sake, because she too, was tired after such a night. She despised the hospital anyway, so, she went home to rest without insisting. And now I'm on my own in the waiting room for what felt like eternity. I can't remember how long I've been counting the minutes. The hand of the clock is turning, and yet, time seems to have frozen. It ticks with an annoying sound as if to emphasize the surrounding silence of death, reminding me again and again this disastrous evening. That deafening noise is taunting me, resounding a little louder as soon as I lose the thread, just to have the pleasure to grab all my attention while I'm waiting to see Nathaniel. I watch it with a rather confusing obsession despite my annoyance. I hate myself for that, I can't help but check the seconds spinning through the clock face. Because that noisy thing represents the heartbreaking absence of Nath by my side. Even if I know that on the other side of the wall, he's alive... Slumped on my chair, I bring my legs against my chest, my forehead glued to my knees. I need to see him so much ... "Are you all right, Miss?" I raise my head sharply. Another worried middle-aged nurse is looking at me and I can see pity through her clear eyes. What a sorry sight am I. "Y-yes." Great, my voice is shaking. "I ... I'm just waiting to see my boyfriend ..." "Oh ... is it the boy who arrived at the emergency room earlier?" I only nod, unable to speak at the recall of the events. The nurse sits next to me, her clipboard pad resting on her lap. "Your boyfriend is safe now, don't worry." she begins in a benevolent tone that irks me. "His relative is by his side right now, but you can rest for a while." The nurse's compassion touches me deeply, or maybe it's tiredness that speaks for me, because I feel my eyes sting a little bit as I'm about to cry any time soon. "I have to see him first." "This evening must have been very hard for you too, you have the right to rest. I'm sure he won't be angry if you come back later." She still insists. "I can't!" I nearly scream. "I need to see him!" Unable to contain myself anymore, I hunker down, squeezing my arms so hard that a red mark is blemishing my skin. I can't go home. Not now, not like that! Not seeing him drives me crazy! I'm exhausted ... my whole body is sore. "Would you like to call someone? Family, friends?" I shake my head, eyes closed. Her insistence begins to pester me. Why is everyone is completely disregarding my feelings? Amber, the nurse, even Nath. I'm that much insignificant not to have anything to say. My voice, no matter how I yell, is unheard and my opinion not even an option. Amber had already asked me if she could see him first, alone, and I meekly agreed to make her happy. And yet, I had to fight so I wouldn't be sent away, still muffled and saved by someone else. The nurse now pushes me to go home for the sake of resting regardless my desire to stay. And Nath… Damn, he didn't even wanted to see me at the gym. Kim said she called me because he agreed to, but with the way he acted, I doubt that. He was so stubborn, not listening to anything and facing my lack of power, Kim decided to call the ambulance against his will. During the ride to the hospital I have wondered; if she hadn't phoned me, I would have been unaware of Nathaniel's state since brother and sister like to keep secrets as if I wasn't part of their life. As if … I was nothing. "Just leave me. Go away." I coldly mumble, chasing those memories away. The nurse doesn't insist anymore and walk away after reminding me to contact the medical staff if I needed anything. Like hell I would. I feel many eyes on me nonetheless, kept under surveillance from afar. My mental state seems to worry them, but I don't care. All my thoughts are turned to one person. I decided to get up after her departure though, to freshen up a bit, the need to walk and think about something else motivating me to move. Specially to avoid their insistent stares, almost too heavy with judgment. When I see myself in the mirror, I quickly comprehend their dismay. It is anything but glorious ... My hair is disheveled, my eyes are swollen from crying and consequently, my mascara has heavily dripped on my cheeks. My white-like face doesn't really help to improve my condition. I look a fright ... The most impressive thing is my clothes stained with blood – his blood –. No wonder the nurses were concerned. I hurry to make a coarse bun in order to hold my hair in place, then rinse my face, erasing below the neon light all traces of this morbid night. I still look exhausted but at least I'm more presentable. Once I'm satisfied with my reflection, I go back to my seat. Meanwhile Amber has appeared in my line of sight, coming out of the elevator with a sullen expression. My heart skips a beat and I run to join her. "Amber!" She glances up at my panicked face and smiles weakly to reassure me as best she could, although it looks more like a grimace. "I was looking for you. You can go see him." "How is he?" I ask, worried about her peaky look. "The doctors told me he could go home soon. Luckily, he can talk and move despite his head trauma." Upon hearing the news, all the pressure on my shoulders evaporates bit by bit. I'm so relieved he is fine… "Did he ..." The blonde cuts me off, shaking her head in negative. He didn't reveal anything to her either. I sigh, depressed. Of course, he's not the type to vent so easily. Even her twin sister doesn't know everything about him. The few times we spoke indicates that Nathaniel didn't confide to her as much as she believes to. "I'm sorry for earlier…" she suddenly resumes, changing the subject. "… for insisting to see my brother alone. But please understand that I needed to talk to him. Nothing against you." I'm taken off guard by her sudden apologies. I really didn't expect it at all to be honest… "I… It's fine. I guess." I articulate, dumbfounded. She averts her eyes, probably feeling too guilty to look at me directly. "I may have overreacted." "You did. And to tell you the truth, it hurt me."  I frankly blurt out. "So honest, as always. I like that about you." She lets out a small laugh and I smile in return. I'm glad she noticed her wrongdoing and asked for my forgiveness. She was as anxious as I was, so, I can understand in a sense. And to be fair, I'd probably request the same in her shoes if she wasn't her relative… "Thank you again for being there for him ... Thank you for everything. You saved his life." She sobs in a weak voice, taking my hands in hers. I lower my eyes at her statement, not sure to deserve gratitude. I didn't do anything. Kim saved Nathaniel while I was watching him, helpless. My conscience planting arrows in my heart keeps me quiet, not knowing what to answer. Amber's hand pulls me out of my thoughts by squeezing mine. She stares without saying anything, her message mute. I only notice now that her green eyes have lost their sparkle, filled with remorse too. "I'm going to his flat to bring some clothes and feed Blanche. I'll be back soon." she informs, gently releasing my hand. "Watch over him, please. He's waiting for you." I just agree in silence, the knot around my neck tightening slightly. I don't waste more time to watch her go and fly to the elevator. And damn the seconds feel like hours in the lift. I've waited so long to see Nath that I tremble like a leaf out of stress. My anxiety is only amplifying, trapped in this metallic box. The walls come off as an oppressive cage, shrinking around me. I feel like I'm suffocating ... It makes my mind runs wild, what I've striven to push back in my mind suddenly arises with brutality. My boyfriend is laying in a hospital bed after an attempted murder. The bloodcurdling realization I could have lost him forever tears me from inside. I remember too well watching him bleed to death. I can still smell the blood, see the light in his eyes weakening and his life being taken away slowly… I struggle in vain to hold back my suffering, but it's far beyond my strength. I can't help but dwell on the events, unable to think of anything but his twisted face of pain, the gaping wound and the pool of blood. It wasn't an accident. Someone tried to end his life. Stop! I must not panic. Do not panic! Nathaniel is fine, Nathaniel is fine ... I repeat these words like a mantra. Focusing on dominating my terror, I close my eyes for a moment and inhale deeply. My breath is shaking, but I keep taking deep breath to calm the frantic beat in my chest. My body is agitated with nervous spasms, I squeeze my hands hard to stop my tremors. Carefully ... slowly ... I'm breathing. At long last the elevator stops and after a soft "ding", slides open. The overwhelming gasp of air at the opening wakes me up from my horrifying trance, my lungs finally accepting some oxygen. After a gulp, I'm resolved to get out and stand right in front his room. I enter with a gentle push on the door which creaks faintly under the pressure of my fingers. What I see behind crushes my heart. Nathaniel seems to have fallen asleep, but his features are drawn, denoting extreme fatigue. His face is still a little pale, but slowly picks some colors up again. His left eye is slightly swollen, as are his knuckles. There was no doubt he tried to defend himself against his aggressors as much as he could. I pinched my lips so as not to break down again, shaken beyond word by his atypical vulnerability. I must be strong. I shed enough tears. At some point, I finally allow myself to approach with catlike stealth to avoid waking him up. My hand smooths his golden hair, brushing aside wet strands on his forehead. Softly … fearing of hurting him more. With the same care, I stroke his damaged hands in hope it would erase the marks of his fight. I wish I could take all of his pain… "You're here…" I jump, startled. Nathaniel is awake. He painfully opens his eyelids to gaze at me. I'd like to answer something, but on the verge of tears, words are strangled in my throat. "I'd have preferred to welcome you in some other way." he continues with a sheepish smile in an effort to relax the atmosphere. Except it provokes the opposite of the desired effect. He looks at me, his eyes filled with grief. His hand frees itself from mine to caress my cheek and I close my eyes to enjoy his touch full of tenderness. I barely notice him wiping a tear that has escaped against my will. And here I promised myself not to cry anymore. Damn it… "I ruined our date again." He feebly murmurs. "Forgive me." I shake my head, eyelids firmly closed. Other tears flood with me powerless to stop it. Nath remains silent, busy to dry all the sad pearls rolling on my skin. "Don't be ridiculous, you idiot ..." I end to whisper with a trembling voice. "We'll have other dates. I just want you to heal quickly." I swallow my tears somehow and finally open my eyes to offer him the best smile I could do. Nevertheless, he only observes me without saying anything, his look indecipherable. His eyes glint with a dark and melancholy glow, almost seeking to penetrate my thoughts. His face seems tortured, preoccupied, a frown on his forehead. A voice in my head hisses that pain is not the main cause. Anxiety, anger, guilt, maybe something else. I'm not sure what I can read. He carries my hand to his lips and kisses it with infinite love, contrasting with his painful expression. Nath, is there something you're not telling me? The rustling sound of sheets catches my attention all of sudden. My veiled eyes immediately fall on Nathaniel who's trying to get up, his face disfigured in pain. "Nath!" With an unsteady step, I try to lie him down but this obstinate man resists. "I just want to sit down, I'm tired of laying." He insists. "Don't be foolish, you have to rest! Imagine if your wound opens again!" I'm unsuccessfully trying to convince him, but he is too adamant and completely deaf to my protests. I shortly give up, helpless in front of his stubbornness, and put his cushion in a way he can lean on it without hurt. It takes him a few minutes to find the right position. "It doesn't hurt too much?" I ask as I sit on the mattress to get closer. "I'm fine ... I've experienced worse." Worse? What can be worse than being stabbed in the abdomen? Could it be related to the scar on his lips? To his father? My face runs out of blood just imagining it. Facing my frightened look, Nath takes my hand again squeezes it more firmly. "No wait! I mean ..." he resumes with difficulty. "... I'll be okay, you don't have to worry about that." "How could you ..." His thumb lays on my lower lip to keep me quiet, fondly brushing it. "I'm fine, okay? That's all you need to think about now." "But you nearly killed yourself, how could you expect me to stay calm after that? Nath, you could have died!" "What happened, happened. And I'm still alive." What the hell! I know he wants to be reassuring but he can't tell me that like that, as if it was something trivial! "Listen to me," He begins but I refuse to hear his nonsense. I drop and shake my head. The situation is so absurd, it makes me crazy! It's a nightmare. Breathing becomes difficult again, I feel like choking once more. Sensing my distress, Nath cups my face and forces me to look at him. "Listen to me!" He gives me time to calm myself before carrying on. I stare back with a look in which an unreasonable dread is reflected. I know I'm overreacting but … "You're afraid." I'm not. I'm terrified. "I understand, I really do. But look, I'm fine." He caresses my cheeks with lots affection and so much care to put me at peace, but I'm still shivering so much. However, my body is less stiff now, soothed by his voice. "I'm fine…" He calmly repeats again, insisting on this point until I stop shuddering. "All I need is my girlfriend by my side. This night has been painful enough for you and for me… We both need to rest. Just let me enjoy your company. Is it too much to ask?" I have to admit he's right. He is indeed fine. He survived and is certainly exhausted by his injury. I was so preoccupied by my own fear I forgot the most important; taking care of him. Ashamed, I lower my eyes. "I'm sorry…" "No don’t be, love." He murmurs, putting his forehead against mine. "I'm the one who should be. You deserve so much better than that." "Shut up." I sob. Our faces are so close, caressed by our breath, yet I feel so far away from him, an unbreakable wall between us. And I know… he is the one building it, pushing me away. Again. "Come." He simply finishes by opening his arms. He wants us to cuddle. "Your wound, it could open ..." I weakly protest, fighting against my own desire to snuggle against him. "My right side is fine." Nath persists. I don't want him to suffer ... My hesitation crumbles a little more when he softly pleads: "I need you in my arms ..." I don't want to start a quarrel, especially in these conditions. I'm too tired anyway. Besides, I'd lie if I said I don't want to be in his arms too ... Short of argument, I breathe: "Promise me to tell me if you're in pain." He simply nods, and I give up. With caution, I go around the right side of the bed where he's not injured. I'm careful not to lean too much upon him, my side propped against his cushion, but my head finds its way to the crook his neck. His right arm slides around my waist and presses me a little more against him despite my reluctance, yet I oppose no resistance. His soothing heartbeat under my palm relaxes me. He is still alive… Being in his arms drains all energies I had left, in other word, almost none. My eyes close when he brushes a warmth kiss full of comfort on the top of my head. I'm just so weak even though I should be the one who supports him. I can't help myself thinking I must do more than complaining and crying. He silences me when I word my thoughts and confesses that being here is more than enough. Actually, it is what he needs the most according to him so, I'm not arguing. After all, a nurse is coming soon to kick me out and I don't want to leave him with a pointless fight. Silence now surrounds us. Not a single word is shared anymore. We are just enjoying each other presence… … as if it would be the last time.

[rhnuzlocke]

Episode 21

Scene 13:

[Ren finds Steven near an empty bowl of cherries on the banquet table. He has already caught sight of her and smiles warmly as she makes her way over to him.]

Ren: Hi Steven.

Steven: Hello Ren.

[He nods slightly towards the dance floor behind her and she turns to look as she steps up to his side. Wallace is leading Dizzy out onto the dance floor and Ren grins.]

Steven: Seems as though our friend is smoother than I expected.

Ren: So it seems.

Steven: And you wouldn’t have anything to do with that, now would you?

Ren: Of course not. [Steven gives her a doubtful, sidelong look.] I just helped him a bit with his Anglic. He’s actually really sweet and sincere. That goes a long way.

Steven: Well, color me surprised.

[They watch Wallace and Dizzy dance for a minute or two, and Dizzy does fine.]

Steven: I hate to do this to your brilliant escape, but we really should get you acquainted with everyone.

Ren: [flinching slightly] I know. It’s just that I’m still really nervous about it. I didn’t think I would be.

Steven: I’ll be right there beside you.

Ren: Okay… [Steven takes a step forward, but Ren hangs back.] Would you dance with me first, just for a little while?

Steven: [smiling] I’d be honored to dance with the Champion.

[Ren takes his hand and leads him onto the dance floor. She turns him around to face her and he takes her waist while she takes his arm. He leads her into the first few steps and she only glances down for a moment before smiling up at him.]

Steven: You caught onto this pretty quickly. Are you sure you haven’t danced before?

Ren: Nope. I’m just coordinated from all the drumming and martial arts.

Steven: You play the drums?

Ren: All through middle school. Then in high school I was in a kumi-daiko club. I guess you don’t really have that here.

Steven: I think it’s called taiko drumming in Anglic-speaking regions and it certainly isn’t overly common in Hoenn.

Ren: [cackling] Drum drumming.

Steven: I was under the impression it was a male dominated instrument.

Ren: Traditionally yes, but it’s evened out a lot. My group was definitely a boys club when I started and they wouldn’t let me play certain parts. But once I was there, some other girls joined and by my last year I was captain and I assigned the roles.

Steven: That sounds about right.

Ren: Well what’s your instrument? Is it piano?

Steven: And viola. I started with violin, but I always liked the sound of viola better, so I switched.

Ren: That’s perfect. So very upper class and urbane but then you always have to have your way.

Steven: [ignoring the gentle ribbing] I am a little out of practice though. I haven’t much time to myself with everything that’s been happening the past few months.

Ren: Hey, now you’ll have time for all of your hobbies.

Steven: I still have to train you.

Ren: But that doesn’t require you to spend every waking moment with me. [Steven raises his eyebrows and tilts his head a little. Ren rolls her eyes.] I’ll be fine.

Steven: [genuine] I know you will. [cheeky] But who says I don’t want to spend time with you?

Ren: Oh, so the charm offensive is back?

Steven: [twirling her] Well, just look where we are.

Ren: You’re right. I should have expected it. [She takes a deep breath.] But if we could be sincere for a moment, I really have had fun spending time with you these past few weeks, when there wasn’t a crisis going on. And I’m really glad I have you to show me the ropes instead of Phoebe. [He chuckles.] But if you need some time, that’s okay too. I can take care of myself for a while.

Steven: [smiling] You’re not getting rid of me that easily.

Ren: Good. [glancing away] I just… wanted to check.

Steven: I enjoy spending time with you. That part isn’t an act. I don’t feel like I need to act with you anymore.

[They look at each other and a smile slowly spreads over Ren’s face until it has conquered the scarred side too. She squeezes Steven’s arm and knits her fingers through his. A smile just as warm spreads over Steven’s face he squeezes her hand. For a few moments more they just dance in silence, smiling at each other before Steven’s eyes turn sad.]

Ren: What’s wrong?

Steven: It’s nothing.

Ren: Steven. [He glances away and says nothing.] You’re allowed to be a little upset with me for this. You don’t have to be so perfect all the time.

Steven: It’s not that. Try as I might, I just can’t be mad at you.

Ren: [not letting him off the hook] You would tell me if it was something big, right?

Steven: Hopefully it won’t become so.

Ren: I’m the champion now. You’re out of excuses to protect me.

Steven: I’ll tell you tomorrow. [Ren opens her mouth to object.] You’ll be briefed on it, I promise. I just don’t want to ruin this and truthfully I don’t want to think about it. Could we pretend everything is fine just for tonight? [pleading look] Please.

Ren: Alright. Ugh, how is anyone supposed to resist that face? [He grins and she snorts at him.] Besides, you did promise to show me some of the other styles you’ve practiced. How about now?

Steven: With every important person in the region watching? [smirking] I couldn’t think of a better time or place if I tried.

[He takes a step towards her and holds her a little closer.]

Ren: Uh, what are you doing?

Steven: Salsa!

[He starts stepping back and pulling her with him then reverses. Ren almost trips, but he has a good hold on her and she recovers as he steps back again.]

Steven: It’s just a back and forth. Mirror me. Move your legs and hips. torso stays straight and level. [She takes another moment, but falls in step with him.] Good. You feel it?

Ren: I guess.

Steven: It’s easier with the right music. [pulling his hand off her waist] Now take my hand.

[She does so and he gives her one more back and forth to get a feel for it before pulling her so that they are shoulder to shoulder and leading her through a turn. He spins on his heel to reverse direction, but Ren is ready this time and falls in step with him as they go the other way.]

Ren: This one is sort of fun.

[Steven just grins and twirls her, first out away from him and then in close so that she ends facing the same direction as him with her arms crossed, hands still in his.]

Ren: Uh—

[Before she can puzzle out how that worked, he spins her out again, then in so that they are chest to chest and puts his hand back on her waist to keep her there. Ren flushes a little.]

Steven: Tango has some similar principles, but a closed frame, meaning we stay like this.

Ren: [She swallows.] I’m still mirroring?

Steven: Exactly.

Ren: [looking down] But I can’t see what you’re doing.

Steven: Don’t look. Feel.

[He pushes her leg back with his and then she follows him as he moves the other. Once she has it he starts taking larger steps and she has a hard time keeping up. She over compensates and steps on his foot.]

Ren: Sorry!

Steven: Don’t lead with your feet. Move from the hip down.

[She lets her thighs brush against his and can more easily follow his movements.]

Steven: Very good. Now…

[He starts to go faster and turn and cross step. Ren stumbles after him, barely able to keep up but he doesn’t slow.]

Ren: [laughing] Ah! Steven! I’m gonna fall!

Steven: No you won’t. Don’t you trust me?

Ren: Yes.

[Steven grins and uses her next slip to dip her low. Ren yelps but starts laughing as he pulls her back up.]

Ren: You’re such a showoff.

Steven: You don’t know the half of it, Ren Kosugi.

[Steven lifts her by the waist and spins her around and around.]

Ren: [laughing] Steven!

Steven: And now swing.

[Steven puts her down and starts swinging her around. She can’t keep up with all the high stepping and bouncing back and forth but he keep hold of her hands and she does her best to stay with him, laughing all the while. Lots of people are staring by this point, but Ren and Steven don’t pay them any mind. He is smiling from ear to ear and she keeps laughing at his antics. Next he transitions into tap, using the metal heels and toes of his shoes to tap out a beat on the dance floor. Ren can’t dance anymore she is laughing so hard and he lets go of her hands to do a short solo performance. He fluffs out his coat and even pantomimes some hat tricks since he doesn’t have one. Finally he goes up on his toes and does some ballet spins. He takes a bow and Ren laughs and holds out her hands to him. He takes them again and they return to the standard ballroom dance he taught her. She is still giggling and her forehead thumps against his chest because she can’t stand up straight.]

Ren: I can’t believe you did that in front of everyone.

Steven: I don’t know what you mean. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I’m a wonderful dancer.

Ren: You are! But you’re also a shitlord.

Steven: [mock outrage] What?!

Ren: [grinning] You heard me.

Steven: Why you impertinent rascal, do you even know who my father is?

Ren: Bring it, pretty boy. I beat you once and I can do it again.

Steven: Is that a challenge?

Ren: I don’t know, is it?

[They stare each other down until Ren inadvertently breaks eye contact to glance down at his lips. He raises his eyebrows and she bites her lip, flushing a little. Steven tries and fails not to grin stupidly back and soon they both burst out laughing. It takes a while for them to quiet and by the time they do, their audience seems to have collectively decided the show is over and most have gone back to whatever they were doing.]

Ren: [sarcastic] Thanks for all the help making a good first impression.

Steven: You started it.

Ren: True.

Steven: It will be fine, I promise.

Ren: Okay.

[She gives him a twirl this time and they sway together, only looking at each other. In fact both of them have lost track of their surroundings such that Zinnia has to tap Ren on the shoulder to get her attention. Ren starts and turns to her.]

Zinnia: So sorry to interrupt, but I was hoping I might drag you away from Steven for a turn.

Ren: [glancing back at Steven for a second and coloring a little] Sure.

[She drops Steven’s hands and her smiles and dips his head. Ren turns back to Zinnia, who is holding out a hand to her. Ren takes it and Zinnia takes her waist and they start to move together.]

Zinnia: How’s your big night going so far, spitfire?

Ren: Oh, I’ve been stuffing my face and dodging responsibilities to have fun with my friends, so pretty good so far. [Zinnia laughs.] I should probably get on that soon, huh?

Zinnia: Yes. But I think we can get this last dance by on a technicality, seeing as how I’m one of the people you’re supposed to be meeting.

Ren: True. No one has to know we’ve met already.

Zinnia: It will be our little secret.

Ren: Maybe it is a first meeting in a way. We never had much time to talk before.

Zinnia: That’s exactly why I came tonight. I didn’t want to waste the opportunity to get to know you a little better.

[Ren feels heat rising in her cheeks but can’t do anything to stop it. Zinnia smiles, which only makes Ren’s blush worse.]

Ren: Who would have thought our first chance would be at my coronation ball?

Zinnia: I knew you would be Champion the first time I saw you battle on Mt. Pyre and I’ve hardly been able to take my eyes off you since. You’re almost blindingly brilliant.

[Ren blinks several times and goes bright red. She opens her mouth to respond, but closes it after nothing comes out and flushes even more. Zinnia laughs.]

Zinnia: I didn’t think you were the blushing kind, spitfire.

Ren: You’d think I would be used to it by now but… [She shrugs.] I could probably train myself to keep a straight face, but there isn’t much point when this gives me away all the time.

Zinnia: Well I hope you don’t decide to train your face. I like how expressive it is. I think it makes you more beautiful and not less.

[Ren cannot resist pulling her head back into her neck and making the least flattering face possible, though it is probably to cover her embarrassment since the shade stays the same.]

Zinnia: You’re not hiding anything, but nice try.

Ren: Well if you won’t let me thank you, how can I accept any compliment graciously?

Zinnia: Fair point, but the ban still stands. That glow of yours will have to do for now.

Ren: So when is this opportunity to thank you coming along?

Zinnia: Very soon, I promise.

Ren: And what about that battle you promised me? Does that still stand?

Zinnia: Absolutely.

Ren: Good. I looked you up and you have all ten badges, even the two southern sea ones, but you never challenged the Elite Four?

Zinnia: That is correct.

Ren: Champion title not for you?

Zinnia: I have other responsibilities and I didn’t have a point to prove like Wallace.

Ren: Fair enough. It will be nice to enjoy a real challenge without the stress.

Zinnia: I’m not so sure I could beat you, but you don’t have any ice or fairy-types so maybe.

Ren: I beat Drake.

Zinnia: So could I. He’s still strong, but he’s over the hill.

Ren: Ouch.

Zinnia: He doesn’t get along with my people. Also it’s true.

Ren: He does seem like a piece of work.

Zinnia: Yeah, good luck with that.

Ren: Thanks.

[Zinnia almost steps on Ren’s foot and trips.]

Zinnia: Sorry about that. I’m not a dancer like Steven. I only do this when I have to go to these sorts of events.

Ren: Let me try leading then. I made Steven show me a little. [She puts her hand on Zinnia’s waist and blinks in surprise.] Holyshit— [turning bright red again] I mean, yeah, just— [She gives herself a moment to think before something even more mangled comes out.] What do you do to get that toned?

Zinnia: I grapple with my team. It’s a traditional training method.

Ren: That’s part of how Dizzy trains too. He said that’s how Kaspa taught him.

Zinnia: Some say it dates back to before we spread out across the seas.

Ren:

[They continue to talk and dance for the rest of the set. Zinnia gets Ren to blush again more than once and Ren twirls her and sweeps them around the floor in retaliation. Zinnia is more than happy to play that game and pretty soon other couples have cleared the area to give them some space. Terra and Moana bounce their eyebrows at Ren as they go by and Zinnia throws a rakish wink their way. Kai and Wally have retreated to a corner and are talking and smiling, seemingly unaware of the party going on around them. Wallace and Dizzy are back off the dance floor and talking again, this time with drinks in their hands. Steven and Kaspa watch Ren and Zinnia together from the sidelines. Steven catches Ren’s eye just as the music draws to a close. She looks back at Zinnia and releases her waist.]

Ren: That’s my cue to go. Sorry to leave you.

Zinnia: [grinning] I got what I came for. I think I’ll ditch now. Good luck with the rest of your night, spitfire.

Ren: [smiling back] Goodnight, Higana.

[A warm smile breaks over her face at the nickname and she nods to Ren as she leaves. Ren watches her go for a moment before going to join Steven and Kaspa. She dips her head to the foreign Champion and Kaspa returns the gesture.]

Steven: Are you ready?

Ren: Yes. Sorry if that took a while. She’s a really fascinating person.

Steven: It seemed like you were enjoying yourself.

Ren: Oh Arceus, she’s worse than you. Much more of that and I think I would have combusted.

[Ren seems to realize she is talking in front of Kaspa as well and stops. Kaspa just smiles and gestures on towards some people behind her.]

Steven: We’ll introduce you to the prime minister first.

[Ren follows Steven and shakes the hands of all kinds of people for the rest of the night. The uncertainty that plagued her earlier is gone and she meets everyone’s eyes with confidence and only looks longingly at the buffet table once or twice. Wallace and Dizzy mysteriously absent themselves before Ren is finished with her duties. When Steven finally announces she is done, Ren is dead tired and goes to find her friends. Terra and Moana have left already and she finds the other two and her parents waiting together. They gather up their pokemon and leave. Ren waves to Steven as they exit and his smile holds until she is out of sight.]

[agl03]

I don't think Jemma will ever hold it against Fitz, but I did see some of that fury back with her "IT" in reference to AIDA which we saw earlier in the season. We have very little time now so maybe we don't see any, but what do you think the fallout for FS will be? And do you think marriage/proposal is still on the table or not for this season?

Anonymous said:  What was the point of all the fitzsimmons marriage talk and buildup - Fitz can’t possibly propose now or accept in his state of mind unless he suddenly recovers which I doubt in 2 episodes time??

Hi Anons!

If this show has shown us anything this season is that they don’t put something that big on the table for the heck of it.  Let alone when the writer was Jed.  He knew in putting that out there that he would need to not only pay it off but would be asked about it in every interview until it was absolved.  

Also on this show 2 episodes isn’t a lot of time…yet it is.  A lot can happen.  

Jemma absolutely does NOT blame Fitz, she has seen first hand the level he was manipulated.  She the other hostages aside from Coulson fail to break through (Coulson even slipped back in a few times).  Come face to face with his father.   Realized she was replaced in his life.  She blames AIDA for this not Fitz.  

We’ve also only seen Fitz out for 2 minutes before he was kidnapped again.  He hasn’t even had a chance to catch his bearings and he’s in the clutches of evil again.  He hasn’t even been reunited with Jemma yet for that discussion to come up.  Jemma said she’d tell him when she saw him…and The Doctor was most definitely not Fitz.  

Until I see what is going on and when Fitzsimmons are reunited I can’t really speculate too much further.  It will come up again…and on a hopeful note Lil’s favorite Fitzsimmons scene is coming.   Here are options I have on the table though.  

Pre Engagement:  Its not official yet, but they have the discussion.  That Jemma tells him whenever he’s ready be it tomorrow or in ten years (so help me writers NO) her answer will be yes.   She loves him and wants to spend the rest of her life with him, grow old together.  

Engagement:  That after yet another close call one or the other isnt’ willing to waste anymore time.  They get engaged as a promise of healing and their future together but the wedding is farther down the line until they can both heal and recover from the Framework and Fitz’s subsequent abduction.  

Elopement:  Definitely not wasting anymore time and they get married  as soon as they can.  I honestly can’t see that happening unless Fitz gets some major absolution here in the next two episodes, possibly from Robbie and the Rider.  Help take some of the pain away.  But they wont’ take all, he will have to deal with this trauma for the rest of his life.  He will know what he is capable of and I see him as becoming a more guarded to make sure that doesn’t happen.  

Fitz can also start making it right now.  He’s not going to help Ophelia anymore, not when he has a choice in the matter (unless she is using the lives of the team as leverage once he refuses).  He can start to “make things right” in not helping and trying to stop her.  This Fitz won’t kill someone like Agnes or go after his team.  He’ll protect them even if he gets hurt in the process.  The last thing that Radcliffe said to him was it was all his (Radcliffe’s) fault too, so that will hopefully help a little.  

And with any of the above options I can see Fitzsimmons slipping away at the end of the season.  Be it to the love nest or Perthshire for a little bit in order to begin the healing process together.