#hopefully thats enough or maybe this one will do the trick sdfjkl
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vent, ed tw
#ed tw#filler tag number one#filler tag number two#filler tag number three#hopefully thats enough or maybe this one will do the trick sdfjkl#anyways i dont want this job holy shit dsjfjkl it sounds like. actual hell for me#i nodded and smiled and acted like i was definitely capable and willing during the interview but fdsjfjkl#i think uhhh might kill me if i take it :''') but parents are Very Proud of me for maybe getting this and very set on me having it#so ... i cannot back out of it very easily#but i just like. i keep thinking how if i stop eating now then maybe i can end up in hospital#and then i wont have to work fsdjfkl#like. this is ... a viable option in my brain. and im uhhh really worried abt that lol#but like... maybe it'd work and maybe it'd be good and i could be sent away somewhere for actual help#but i know that wouldnt happen bc the rural north fucking sucks and the govmt doesnt care and the health system doesnt care#they would rather me apply for MAID than use up their precious tax dollars and resources lmfao#but like. idk. when i almost passed out multiple times last year and tried to tell parents abt it they didnt take me seriously lol#so . i would have to actually pass out and they'd have to find me or smth for them to take me seriously#so i dont think it'll happen#eating disorder tw#tw eating disorder#trying to cover bases bc this ones a bit more graphic idk#vent cw
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