#hopefully probably fireworks anyway they had the whistling sound
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#forgot ho w much i despise the 4th of july...#its 11pm and some asshole just went firing off some sort of firework#hopefully probably fireworks anyway they had the whistling sound#anyway point is i WAS peacefully reading before bed w/ my cats cuddled up w/ me#then the lound BANGBANG ANGS started and me and my cats all got to enjoy a few moments of pure panic#also im suddenly realizing that this is my first 4th of july living alone nd#well i live closer to the 'city' not in the quiet suburban/rural where i grew up#i grew up in like the epitome of a quiet small town trye family nd retirement home vibes#so in all honestly living in a place thats more active w/ more crime does in fact make me mildly nervous
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*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server
once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier
also x1000 longer than previous post
"ur satan is gnc af"
"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"
"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"
"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"ohoho sexy"
"I am very proud of myself"
"himbo x edgy fuck"
"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"
"he has teefs"
"SQUASH"
"good for biting 📷"
"he's a himbo basically"
"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"
"bifth"
"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"
"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"
"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"
"crimes"
"tumblr sexyman"
"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"
"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"
"steampunk e-girl"
"steampunk tumblr sexyman"
"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"
"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"
"ARTIST SIGHTED"
"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"
"babby..... would die for him"
"honestly i probably kin him"
"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"
"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"
"Also :00 blonde friend"
"Let us all infodhmo"
"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"
"Nix woukd you like to joon?
"skitters away"
"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"
"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"
"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"
"Awkwardly watches in band kid"
"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"
"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"
"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"
"anyway heres my boi"
"emo"
"haha emo"
"virgil sanders kinnie"
"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"
"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"
"bird man my beloved"
"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"
"Birds!!"
"guiguhuh"
"crabrave"
"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"
"yess name collector gang"
"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"
"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"
"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"
"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"
"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"
"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"
"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"
"mmmmmm magic man :]"
"°0° green man"
"criminal (affectionate)"
"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"
"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"
"i would commit so many crimes for him"
"Very babey"
"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"
"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"
"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)
"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"
"* or extremly chaotic either works"
"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"
"oH--"
"bc my brain has a schedule"
"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"
"hehe yes spooky man"
"my ghost glucose guardian"
"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"
"ghosts r just inherently sexy"
"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"
"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"
"ł �� m p"
"łæmp"
"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"
"I'd date a ghost"
"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"
"p e e p e e"
""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"
"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"
"you're all 12 year olds"
"PEENIE"
"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"
"god, what a himbo. i love him"
"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"
"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"
"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"
"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""
"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"
"twink appreciation club"
"give us the twinks"
"my first thought was bottom-"
"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"
"daddy issued"
"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"
"Big boy but"
"anyways janus is swagggg"
"........................."
"gib twink"
"give twink then i will share"
"holds him gentle like hamburger"
"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"
"he is. fragile creachur"
"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"
"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"
"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"
"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"
"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"
"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"
"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."
"note i am a lesbian"
"You may like Schezo wegey"
"why does he have one single expression"
"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"
"magic wand"
"I Want To Hold His Hand"
"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"
"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""
"p e a n u t"
"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"
"grug from the croods is peak male performance"
"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."
"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"
"i like essays"
"central time gang"
"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)
"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"
"points were made"
"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"
"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"
"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"
"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"
"several people are typing"
"do these look edible to you"
"forbidden gummies"
"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"
"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"
"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"
"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"
"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"
"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"
"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."
"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."
"NIIICE"
"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"
"watch your fucking language in front of the president"
"im so sorry lumi"
"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"
"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"
"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"
""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""
"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"
"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."
"me on discord: nick wilde"
"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."
"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"
"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"
"what the fuck"
"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"
"If you adopt me then yes"
"am I qualified for dad jokes???"
"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"
"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""
"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"
"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"
"cat pet"
"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"
"maybe thats me being a coward tho"
"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"
if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content
#tw drugs#tw swearing#tw cannibalism#tw crime#tw food#tw homophobia#shitpost#out of context#out of context quotes#lumi's quotes
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34 and 11 please with Lucifer and Simeon.
So, I couldn’t tell if you meant Lucifer/Simeon as a pair or Lucifer and Simeon with the reader... sooo I just went with it. Took me a while to figure out how to write this with a good dynamic. A little bit of fluff, a little bit of angst, a lot of romance... I hope you like it! (unedited bc we die like heroes here) Gender Neutral Reader
_(:3 」∠)_
Part of the Two-Part Drabble Game Requests
Setting: Date gone wrong Quote: “Your hand is in my personal space. Not that I mind. Character: Lucifer and Simeon
It was supposed to be a cute little outing downtown with Simeon. It was supposed to be a well deserved break from your hectic life to unwind and spend some time with the guy you liked. It was supposed to be the perfect day out. Some lunch, some window shopping, maybe a stroll in the park and then watching the sunset together.
Supposed to be.
However, neither of you had been made aware of the festival being held in town that day. Instead of the usual bustle of a reasonably busy weekend, the streets were packed with crowds. Your senses were assaulted by all the sounds, smells and sensations that came with a festival.
At first, you wanted to ride it out, pretend it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. However, Simeon could sense your discomfort with having to deal with so many people in one place at one time. “Let’s go somewhere else.” he suggested when he noticed the way you flinched at any remotely loud, sudden sound.
You were more than happy to get out of the thick of things and to somewhere quieter. Simeon seemed to know all of the good hole-in-the-wall cafes and brought you to one of his favorites. Immediately, the warm wood finishing and the quiet chatter put you in a much more agreeable state of mind.
Simeon led you to a quiet corner of the cafe once your orders had been retrieved and placed his hand on top of yours. “Sorry I didn’t plan this day better.” he apologized, rubbing soft circles on the back of your hand. “I know how you are with crowds and I didn’t think to look…”
You shrugged, taking a sip of your drink and letting the familiar flavors take the edge of your frazzled nerves more. “It’s okay.” You reassured him. Though the date hadn’t gone as planned, you still got to spend some quality time with him. “I don’t think either of us really looked up if there was going to be anything going on downtown today. It’s neither here nor there.”
He smiled softly, adoring how you were still so determined to be out and about with him despite usually being an introvert. It was a rare opportunity for both of you to have time to do anything like this. Simeon didn’t have the right words to quite express just how happy he was to just have time with you. “Well, since we’re here, I think I remember there’s a pa--”
“Simeon?”
Simeon stopped mid sentence when he heard his name being called. He looked around to see who the owner of the voice was and as soon as he saw who it was, he broke out in a wide grin. “Lucy? Is that really you? I haven’t seen you in ages!”
Simeon scooted his seat over to allow Lucifer to join in. You stared, dumbfounded at the sudden intrusion, but didn’t question it. The way Simeon beamed and grinned when he saw this person was an expression you rarely saw. It was likely best to leave things for the time being.
“It has been a while, hasn’t it? And who might this be?”
“My partner!” Simeon stated proudly before introducing you to him.
“A pleasure to meet you. Lucifer.” The stranger greeted smoothly before pulling up a chair to join you at the table. “I hope I’m not intruding on your date together.”
“Oh, no not at all.”
It would have been rude to interject and tell him that he was intruding. You had to keep Simeon’s smile in mind. It was an expression you rarely got to see. He was usually so cool and collected, seeing him so animated was a bit of treat for you. For his sake, you didn’t want to cause a scene. Your initial date plans had been foiled anyway, it wasn’t like your day could get any worse, right?
“Lucy and I go way back.” Simeon explained. “At least two decades.”
“I think it’s a little more than that.” Lucifer chimed in. “And can you not call me that in public?”
“Okay fine Lucifer.” Simeon corrected himself. “What have you been up to these past few years? I feel like we lost all contact after you quit your last job.”
“Ah, well…”
What they had was a bond that went beyond what you could ever hope to achieve. The way they interacted and reminisced about the times they had together pushed a thorn of envy into your heart. They had all the time in the world and you had only ever occupied a fraction of Simeon’s life. It didn’t feel right to cut into their conversation as they reminisce over the past and caught up.
They pulled you into a life with them that you could never experience. The drink in your hand grew tepid as the hours went by and they continued to chat. It was almost as if you weren’t there, as if you didn’t matter. Despite being surrounded by people, it felt oddly lonely to be at that table with them. They were in their own little world and you could only imagine what it would have been like if you were with them.
For a moment, you were pulled out of the romantic moment you were having with Simeon to see him in a way you were never permitted to. This stranger and his stories about his life drew out an energy and a life no one ever got to see. It was an odd magic Lucifer had and you were equal parts grateful and envious of it.
There was something that drew even you in. Lucifer had a way with words that had you entranced and falling in love with the world he built. You could understand how Simeon seemed to be so smitten with reconnecting with him. The stories he shared were mundane yet somehow so colorful, you could imagine yourself right there with him. It put you in a comfortable lull and you didn’t mind being so quiet during the time the three of you shared.
“So what brought you out to this side of town anyway?” Lucifer asked, turning to you for a change and dragging you into the conversation.
You snapped out of your daze and blinked. Surely he was asking Simeon and not you; however, when you looked up at your partner, you were surprised to see that he too was looking at you, waiting for an answer. “Ah, well…” You laughed nervously, fidgeting with the empty cup in your hands. “We were supposed to be on a date downtown…”
“So I was interrupting something.”
“Well, no. I mean, it was too crowded downtown so we left early.” You shrugged, pretending it didn’t affect you as much as it did. Having a whole day of plans ruined more than once weighed heavily on your shoulders. But, moving the focus to yourself was selfish and rude. After all, Simeon hadn’t seen Lucifer in years, you weren’t about to break up a long awaited reunion. “It’s not a big deal. It’s probably better that we ended up here anyway.”
Lucifer hummed, tapping his finger on the table and assessing the energy between all parties at the table. “Well, I apologize nonetheless for interrupting and usurping your time. Allow me to make it up to you both.”
You learned quickly that Lucifer moved the world at his own pace and all in his wake were helpless in objecting his whims. He led the two of you out of the quiet cafe and onto the streets washed with the warm oranges of a perfect sunset. One of his hands held onto Simeon while the other near dragged you along to follow his impossibly quick gait.
He moved with a grace and a purpose you wouldn’t have expected for someone traveling so fast. You stumbled, half jogging to keep up with him. You didn’t know if you should be worried about where you were being taken. Simeon’s cheerful laugh as he was being towed behind Lucifer seemed to at least bode well.
While the scenery flashed by you and all you could do was focus on keeping up with Lucifer’s long strides and purposeful direction. You could only hope that he wasn’t about to lead you to your untimely demise. While frantically trying to match his pace, you realized that you couldn’t deny how easily this man had injected himself into your life. The way he asserted himself and dominated the pace of the day had you a little bit infatuated with him. His life beyond the little tidbits he shared at the coffee table had piqued your interest and left you yearning for more of his stories. The backdrop of Simeon’s gleeful laughing only added to his allure as it seemed like this man was the only person in the world who could pull such strong emotions out of your partner.
By the time he let the two of you stop and catch your breath, you were greeted with a grand view of the town below you. If you squinted, you could make out the rough outline of the downtown buildings where your day had begun. The sun had just sunk past the horizon and twilight washed across the city. Tiny twinkling lights from the windows illuminated the darkened residential areas, bringing the night sky to earth.
Further, the distinct whistle and pop of fireworks went off where the festival was being held. You made your way over the railing at the ledge you had arrived at and leaned against it to get the best view of the show. “Oh wow, I didn’t know this place existed.” You breathed, admiring the light show.
“Hopefully it makes up a little for the awful date this has been.” Simeon apologized softly, he reached for your hand and squeezed it softly. “It’s been a bit of a flop, huh?”
You giggled, it was impossible to be mad at him when he was so cute. Oblivious as he might be, you could forgive him for one terrible date. “Well, really, you have to thank your friend for saving it.”
Simeon tilted his head and looked at Lucifer who had joined you at the railing and mouthed a quick thanks in his direction. Lucifer only shrugged, waving it off as if he did things like this on a regular basis.
While they had their little silent exchange, you let your emotions stew. You were being unreasonably selfish wanting to keep Simeon in your life while also getting to know Lucifer better. The two of them had a chemistry you couldn’t deny and if all things didn’t work out in the end, you reasoned it would only bring them together while you made a graceless exit out of their lives. Perhaps it was the overall romantic ambience that emboldened you to go for it.
You tried to be subtle, but you were sure Lucifer was the kind of person who took note of everything that happened around him. Before you could reach out for him, you felt his fingers pull your hand closer to his, lacing themselves in between his own and securing your palm against his.
“Uhm… Excuse me, your hand is in my personal space….” You paused, averting your gaze and trying not to be too flustered about it. “Not that I mind…” You mumbled the last part as the boom and crackle of the fireworks drowned out your words.
One hand held the love of your life, the other held the hand of an alluring stranger who had an impossibly strong pull. Between them, you were torn and impossibly selfish, wishing you could have both in your lives. The show was dying down and before it ended, you knew you had to make a choice.
“So, Lucifer.” You started, finally gathering up enough courage to look him in the eye. “How about you come over for dinner sometime?”
“That sounds lovely, I would be honored to join you.”
Behind you, Simeon leaned to the side, catching his old friend’s eyes. He grinned from ear to ear, winking knowingly and squeezed your hand in reassurance.
Perhaps the date wasn’t a total flop after all.
#Simeon x Reader#Lucifer x Reader#Simeon x Lucifer#Simeon x Lucifer x Reader#Obey me Lucifer#Obey me Simeon#obey me fanfiction#my writing#requests#Anonymous#Happy sunday#I have never had a single coherent thought in my life
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au where Harry fell in love with a muggle
she lives in the apartment complexes just outside the neighborhood with her mom and little sister
au where Harry starts volunteering at the public library over the summer because they have air-conditioning and free snacks for their staff, and isn't it better than being not allowed in the house during the day?
au where Harry bumps into Emily the muggle at the library and they bond over a stack of sci fi books because Emily-"No I don't really like fantasy books or magic"-Perkins is new and different from anyone in his life at Hogwarts or in his life at Privet Drive
au where Emily starts volunteering too and Harry downplays how the Dursleys treat him when she asked about his family because of course she would ask
emily hears all about ron and hermione and she laughs at Harry's stories, but turns her nose up when he tells her about some of his teachers
he has to change things for her ears of course. emily thinks draco is a rich racist rather than a pureblood supremacist, and harry is famous because his parents were star athletes at his fancy boarding school etc
au where harry spends some of his summer nights on Emily's couch because the one time he forgets his sweater at the library, she decides to return it herself and witnesses dudley shoving him into the doorway, and vernon's yells, and the slamming of doors
when emily finally got up the nerve to knock, its petunia who answers the door, and she can just tell that this woman isn’t the aunt harry talked about. emily’s mom understands harry’s situation and doesn't ask questions when harry showed up at 11 o'clock that night with a black eye and an owl cage
au where Harry falls in love with emily’s compassion and positivity because its refreshing after a school year of war and endless talk of Voldemort. the biggest thing on emily’s mind is how she’s going to get to uni, not whether or not she’ll make it to 18.
au where emily the muggle falls in love with the strange potter boy that works at the library and has a pet owl.
emily knows theres something big harry is dancing around but she knows better than to ask. weird things happen around him anyway, like the time she lost the charm on her necklace and spent half an hour walking around the library sidewalks looking for it, nearly driven to tears. harry's observant green eyes spotted it in less than a minute.
au where harry sends emily letters from hogwarts. she hears about Cedric dying in a freak sports accident. she hears about Umbridge and spends an entire night researching how to get a school teacher fired for discrimination and improper behavior. harry sends her candy with unfamiliar wrappers, and she trusted them all until one unforgettable toffee turned her breathe to smoke.
and then she begins to hear less from him
letters become scarce as the war that emily doesn’t know about gets worse. harry’s letters are monitored by the ministry, and after the dementor attack he's whisked away to "a long lost uncles house in the country". Sirius advised Harry not to keep contact because it could draw danger to her.
au where emily runs into him quite by accident in london right outside the leaky cauldron in the rain. she couldn't see the wizarding pub of course, but it was still surprising to Harry. Mrs. Weasley graciously gives him a few minutes to catch up with her, all the while looking around for death eaters who might happen upon them. This was just supposed to be a trip to get their school books.
emily doesn't know what to make of it. harry surrounded by unknown adults with strange clothing and words. she's happy to meet ron and hermione for the first time in person. and mad at harry for not telling her why he disappeared. "I thought you were really hurt!" she seethed, thinking of Dudleys tendency to pick on his cousin. Petunia Dursley refused to open the door to her now.
harry tells her he probably wont be able to see her til next summer and emily demands to know why. sirius nudges harry and they have to go theyre too vunerable out in the open and theres no time to say anything
so harry kisses her
right in front of ron and hermione, mrs Weasley, kingsley shacklebolt, sirius... Ron whistles and emily turns pink, but harry doesn't care. "Ill explain everything I promise". he says and he goes with them to the Leaky Cauldron. emily sees them all dissapear into thin air. She begins to cry and she doesnt know why. At least no one could tell in the rain.
au where sirius sends her the two way mirror in the mail anonymously. The only instruction was to send it back after she uses it. There's a dummy address attached that doesn’t show up on any maps. Harry activates it one evening while he's at school and scares the crap out of her. Shes confused because there arent any wires on the back and this isn't like any technology she's seen.
harry asks her not to question it and she hesitantly agrees. But Harry wont tell her whats been going on and emily is aware more than ever that there's a huge secret Harry isn't telling her. They talk almost every day through the mirror system, and that's when Emily begins to notice. harry would slip up and complain about nonsensical things.
"...was not ready for that pop quiz in Transfiguration, I copied of Hermione-"
"-Transfiguration?"
"-I mean history! Stupid history pop test. I swear..."
and he'd go on before she could ask more.
"Snape was a troll today!" he vented once. It was little terms like that that struck her as odd. Usually Harry was able to explain these little things away.
Until Seamus and Dean decided to have a duel in the his dorm. All Emily could see was bright red flashes and green explosions while boys yelled ancient latin phrases in the background. Harry shut off the mirror as soon as he could and ignored her attempts to call back.
His official excuse was someone set off a firework in his dorm. Emily didn't believe it for a second.
"Look, Emily, I really care about you," said Harry, and Emily blushed remembering that rainy day in london. They hadn't talked about it since.
"But there's some things I can't tell you." he hesitated. "Not yet at least."
Emily bit her lip.
"Can you at least let me know when you're in trouble, or hurt?"
harry was going to lie, but something in emilys tone made harry realize this was a deal breaker. He nodded once and brushed his dark unruly hair aside, revealing that curious lightning shaped scar. She nodded to herself and admitted,
"I really miss you."
Things got weirder after that. Harry talked to her more about what was going on but continually referenced 'the thing I can't tell you about'. Emily was frustrated. But she held her tongue. The school year seemed to go by so slowly.
au where harry comes home after his sixth year and knows nothing will ever be the same. Seeing Emily in person instead of the mirror was like he had taken a vial of felis felicius all over again. Harry spent the night on Emily's couch again but this time with Emily right next to him. Harry told her about what had happened to Dumbledore and the rest of the teachers.
"...and then he fell from the tower."
Emily held his hand. She assumed suicide and Harry wasn't going to correct her.
"Some of Draco's family came in. Totally torched the great hall."
Harry sounded so sad and broken all Emily could do was nod and hug him. They fell asleep like that, intertwined together, feeling complete for the first time in awhile. Harry woke first when Emily's mum left for work early in the morning. She gave him a knowing look and pointed to the bread box which had two muffins inside.
Harry couldn't go back to sleep so he stayed awake listening to Emily breathe. He had missed her so much. And this last year had put things into perspective.
au where harry realizes his 17th birthday meant he was leaving Privet Drive. and hopefully forever. Hermione was planning on obliviating her parents and sending them to a different continent. Ron was going off the grid and his family had a clone set up to take over his identity.
He knows the right thing to do.
au where harry spends his last summer in Surrey with Emily. They date properly and go to London for lunch with money Emily saved. They see cheap films at the dollar theater. Harry has nothing but stories for her. He sketches her favorite animals and folds paper into tiny stars. She keeps them all in a jar.
au where harry celebrates his birthday early in his bedroom with Emily and Hedwig. They sit on the dusty floor and blow out candles on a discount cake that was squashed in the middle. It was perfect.
au where Harry gives Emily a necklace from diagon alley even though it was his birthday they were celebrating and she definitely protested. A tiny golden snitch with silver wings went around her neck. Emily thought it was strange but she didn't ask because it was Harry's and it was beautiful.
they spent the next day together, hardly not touching one another in some way. Harry had a hand on her back when they walked around the library--the place they first met. Emily stroking his hair when they picnicked in the park. They held hands for days.
au where the eve of Harry's 17th birthday--his actual birthday--he takes her back to her apartment complex and they sit on the curb. Emily can tell Harry was sad about something.
"What's wrong, Harry?"
"I have something to tell you, Em." he sighed. "That thing I'm not supposed to tell you. Please, you have to keep an open mind. You see, I'm a..."
au where Harry told her everything. Emily listened carefully as he went over his entire teenage years. It all made sense and it terrified her. Harry had been in so much danger and he was so young and none of it was fair.
"...Hermione is going to obliviate her parents so they aren't targeted, which is really smart. Ron's in enough danger so his family is pretending he's sick and bedbound while we hunt for horcruxes."
Emily started. "Hunt for h-horcruxes? how long will you be gone?"
She didnt like the pain in his eyes.
"Harry?"
he didnt answer.
she gripped his arm and he looked down. He kissed the top of her head.
"I don't know if I'll even make it, Em." he admitted, saying the words out loud felt funny. but they were true.
"Harry-"
"And you're in danger as long as you know me."
"Harry-"
"And you can't protect yourself. And you have your sister and mother-"
"Harry James Potter!"
"This is the only way I can think of to k-keep you safe..." his voice broke in the middle and emily could hear the sob in his throat.
Emily was already crying. "Harry James Potter do not forget me!"
Harry held her tight. "Its more like a you-won't-remember-me kind of deal, love." Harry whispered.
"N-None of this is f-fair." she hiccuped. "You shouldn't have to do this. You can't just--I can't forget you."
au where Harry has to obliviate his muggle girlfriend
Harry let his wand slip from his shirt sleeve. He held her as she shook and sobbed.
"I'm so sorry Emily. I wish it could be different."
"Harry-"
"Obliviate..."
She stilled suddenly and Harry knew the spell worked. He withdrew his arm from around her and wiped his eyes. It was done. Irreversible. Harry kissed her cheek cringing at how lifeless she felt. He stood up and looked down at her frozen form sadly.
"I think I love you." he mumbled.
Emily was stirring so he slipped his wand in his back pocket.
Au where emily has a fuzzy recollection of dating some neighbor boy but it ended badly and stuff like that was best left forgotten right?
Au where emily stands up in front of a boy that she had known for almost nine years and didn’t recall any of it.
"Uh, hi. Excuse me, you're that Potter kid right?" Emily stood up sleepily. Her smile faltered when she saw Harry's stricken face.
"Jeez, are you alright?" she asked, her normally warm face full of worry and concern.
"Uh yea." Harry cracked a sad smile. "Just broke up with my girlfriend."
Her face contorted in sympathy. "Oh that's too bad! How long were you together?"
Harry almost lost it then. But he couldn’t--not yet. He forced himself to answer while she was still plastic and taking suggestions.
"A-About two years. We've been best friends since we were kids though."
"I'm sorry, mate." Emily reached up to brush her face and felt the tears she had been crying only moments before. "Whoa, why am I crying?"
"You just broke up with your boyfriend too. Kind of a weird bloke." he laughed shakily. “He had to go fight a war.”
"Oh. Am I sad about it? I don't feel sad."
"A little. But you don't want to talk about it." he replied simply.
"I don't want to talk about it." she repeated wiping the tears away and smiling a fake smile.
"It's getting late. You should go inside now."
"Okay." she said. "Sorry about your break up, Potter."
"Bye, Emily." he called, turning away before he lost it completely.
au where Harry loved a muggle that had to forget him
#this took 3 hours to write bc i kept going back to it#harry x oc#muggles#muggle au#harry potter fic#fic
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- I(tm)
- AM(tm)
- S T R E S S E D (tm)
- So like first let me say: The kids were FANTASTIC. Best performances of their lives!!!!
- everything that could have possibly gone wrong went the fuck wrong
- A DISASTER
- You know in horror movies were like one person gets infected or some shit but you think everything is fine until suddenly everyone is dying? Literally.
- May I remind you that mics have been perfectly fine all week,
- Opening number, Vanessa is doing her little bit and there’s just a tiny. Glitch.
- Like her mic dropped for half a second. It was hardly noticible. Tom and I literally double checked like “you heard that right?” But it was completely fine so we were like “It’s probably nothing”
- WELL GUESS THE FUCK WHAT
- IT SPREAD LIKE A PLAGUE. IT STARTED SLOW BUT IT SOON CONSUMED THE ENTIRE CAST. THE MICS WOULD GLITCH OUT LIKE EVERY FIVE GOD DAMN SECONDS. JUST IN AND OUT AND IN AND OUT IT WAS T E R R I F Y I N G
- I’m fucking. Borderline screaming. Tom looks like he’s going to punch something and is running around checking for what the problem was. THERE WAS NO VISIBLE PROBLEM. THIS SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN HAPPENING.
- And then it just???? Fucking stopped on it’s own???? What the FUCK. Sometime right before 96,000 it all just went back to normal holy shit
- BUT THEN THE MUSIC WAS LIKE “Is it chill if we just...stop working at random intervals? Gucci.” SO SOMETIMES WE’D HAVE FULL ORCHESTRA AND OTHER TIMES IT WOULD JUST DROP TO ONLY KEYBOARD
- AND something was up with the fucking keyboard’s speaker??? Because of course.
- Guys seriously we literally STILL DON’T KNOW what happened! At intermission Tom and I were just dying and finally he’s like “I don’t care anymore I’m just gonna see what the hell is wrong with the keyboard” and returned 3 minutes later, still no answers, and was like “You know what? ‘Blackout’ sounded fucking amazing and that’s what matters to me” like we honestly just quit oh my God
- However the kids really powered through all the issues and didn’t let it trip them up so that was good
- Meanwhile, though, the audience was FUCKING HILARIOUS I LOVED THEM
- I’m...fully convinced half this audience had never been to a musical before in their entire lives, and even if they had they had never seen or listened to In The Heights so their reactions were great.
- Lot of gasping holy shit it was so funny. “I got more hoes than a phone book in Tokyo” *GASP* “What do I do with this winning ticket?” *G A S P*
- The opening of act 2 when Benny and Nina are on the fire escape and clearly had sex the night before? G A S P
- Guys it was so funny. And they were clearly loving the music and laughing at all the jokes- every scene got deafening applause omfg
- They were all clearly very much sucked into the story so that was just so fun to see
- They tried to cornrow Benny’s hair
- That was quit half way through thank God omfg
- Also mildly off topic but when I was getting his mic on him he hadn’t done his bun yet and that boy has a fantastic head of hair holy shit
- “OH MY GOD THAT HAT CANNOT HAPPEN YOU LOOK LIKE THE PERSON FROM THE LORAX”
- There was a moment before they opened the doors and the entire theater was quiet but suddenly all (like...8 or 9) boys could be heard singing “Baby” by Justin Bieber at the top of their lungs in their dressing room. No explanation as to why
- They announced that the fall show was Pippin and Steven got a fucking baseball bat and starting balancing it on his fingers yelling “JUST IN TIME” (he had apparently ‘just discovered’ this talent on Sunday and has been talking about it like non-stop since)
- The girl playing Graffiti Pete had a bunch of school friends come to the show. They all shrieked every time she opened her mouth holy shit
- Before the show the director was giving notes and she said something like “This is right after Claudia’s death-” and half the cast was like “Tag you’re fucking spoilers” omfg
- And then when mic checks were happening Steven sang “atencion” and Tom cut him off yelling “SPOILERS, SPOILERS” instead of “good” lmao
- Okay so like...is there a little kids show character that I resemble or something????
- There were a lot of kids in the audience (probably like actor’s siblings or something) and like...during intermission an alarming amount of them were staring or waving at me with shy smiles or pointing me out to their parents who seemed to know what they were thinking and I was just like....Who do you think I am?????? Oh my God
- No one actually tried to talk to me but a few looked like they wanted to??? A few even got some of that gentle parental shove thing??? What is happening I’m so confused over this????
- Oh my God you know how in Boy Meets World, Rider Strong hated his fucking hair and as a result we were blessed with Shawn constantly aggressively raking his hair back with his hands???? There was a boy sitting directly in front of me who did that literally the entire show to the point where I was like....You need to stop I gotta see what’s happening on stage omfg
- Also lol I guess he was there for his ensemble sisters(tm) or something bc he cheered for everyone who came out for bows except he booed for one specific group of girls lol
- I was on my phone before the show and the directors husband made Tom get my attention just so he could silently give me a thumbs up before walking away so we were laughing at that
- He did give me free skittles at intermission tho which was rad (he tried to give me like the entire table for free lmao)
- The choreographer was working the spotlight (which she admitted she was confused by) and she was super tired and lowkey joked about falling asleep and falling over on the job before the show started but somewhere during act 2 I fucking saw the sliding spotlight and panicked lmao
- Her and Drew were bonding over being bad at spotlight and everyone in the back area said “you guys are better than Jimmy” in perfect unison lmao
- Usnavi was borderline sobbing by his last line in the finale omg
- We couldn’t fucking get a sound effect for the fireworks so for the final part of ‘blackout’ when you’re supposed to hear them the pianist deadass just whistled the noise omfg
- Nina and Abuela Claudia were the fan favorites, as I predicted
- Benny was a little off his game but I still support him
- Lowkey there’s a couple guys in this show who have never done any shows before and I’m not sure if he’s one of them??? He seems like he is so I think he was probably just nervous or something
- Everyone was sneezing and coughing bc why not
- Before the show the Piragua Guy was berating himself as per usual and the only cheer-me-up anyone could think to give him was “It sounds great! It’s just like, the words that you’re having trouble with!” lmao but he KILLED IT I was v proud the audience loved him
- Like 20 minutes before we let people in we had the directors daughter, in heels, on a fucking ladder painting over parts of the shop signs bc we realized that even though they had professional looking signs made they all had Philadelphia area codes on them lmao
- Oh God. So remember the not-screwed-in door I was complaining about???
- Well. They screwed it in. Backwards.
- And it makes an obnoxious noise when it opens and closes, and also doesn’t close all the way l m a o
- The programs all went missing lmao
- I found one box hidden away thank God but??? Apparently there’s supposed to be more. So we might just run out of programs during the second show
- LMAO DURING HER OPENING SPEECH THE DIRECTOR DEADASS PRONOUNCED LIN MANUEL MIRANDA’S NAME WRONG COULD YOU GET ANY MORE #ICONIC(tm)
- Tom fist pumped multiple times in pride and excitement when the show finally ended lmao
- THE GOT THE GRATE WITH ABUELA CLAUDIA’S FACE ON IT HOOKED UP (another audience gasp moment) AND HONESTLY???? I TEARED UP
- Lmao I’m pretty sure Tom was also lowkey crying at the end I didn’t say anything tho
- There’s more but it’s almost 2 in the morning lmao so anyway!!! Hopefully tomorrow runs a little more smoothly!!! And hopefully we get another great audience!! Overall it was great so I’m all pumped
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