#hopefully it shows up in the tags or i will cry and delete my account and never come back! (jk but it better show up!)

[suhmayzooka]

I was tagged by @benbamboozled YAY!! i love being tagged in fandom games

Three ships:

So I'm going to list some ships I don't talk about as much just to shake things up lol:

thalia/reyna from percy jackson: at age 13 i related a Lot to reyna and i had a Lot of "admiration" for thalia so i was so happy when they finally interacted. i drew fanart (which i still have!!) i already knew i was into girls at this point, but this was the first f/f ship i shipped. very formative

robin/patrick from general hospital: i think robin had already been kidnapped and presumed dead when i started watching and patrick was dating britt and then sabrina ...sam too at some point? idk. but when robin returned from the dead to crash patrick's wedding to sabrina??? nothing compares. i was so sad when they left, but hopefully their daughter, emma, will come back <3

adam/cherry blossom from sk8 the infinity: back on my now deleted sideblog i got random people in my inbox telling me off for "romanticizing abuse" [which wasn't even canon, as in they were mad at me over something that did not actually happen in the real show] and insinuating that i was probably a rapist and should kill myself. only made me ship them harder! i ended up preferring them to my original otp that the blog was centered around >:)

first ship:

the first ship that made me read fic and interact with fandom was will/nico from the percy jackson series, but the first ship i was actually making fic for was kate/humphrey from the movie alpha and omega (about wolves) when i was 9. that is by all accounts a pretty mediocre movie (and all the direct to DVD sequels are embarrassing) but like the good young furry i was... i have the game on my DSi and i would make flipnotes (plural, this was a whole series) that were essentially 500+ frame comics about kate and humphrey's daughter growing up and having her own adventures and romance (this was before those awful sequels canonized their pups). my version was better for the record <3

last song:

black swan by rainbow

last movie:

glass onion

currently reading:

coolie woman: the odyssey of indenture by gaiutra bahadur

light in august by william faulkner

several ARCs from netgalley (idk if i can name them?)

the aeneid by vergil, constantly, and several papers and books about it

persistence: all ways butch and femme edited by ivan coyote and zena sharman

pharsalia by lucan

currently watching:

abbott elementary, which i love and highly recommend, and general hospital, which i love and advise everyone to stay away from

currently consuming:

water

currently craving:

a huntress (1989) trade paperback. or a huntress omnibus containing that series and cry for blood

and more jayjokes fics i mean oat milk caramel ice cream

okay!! i'll tag @caffernnn , @ahobbitinhogwarts , @haloknight , @cum-villain , @twileighplants , @saintlesbian and anyone else who wants to join ^^

[oddlyhale]

As much as I begin to see the horrors of RWBY fndm and how crazed BB fans can be, there'll probably be no comparison to the psychotics I had to deal with in the HH fndm.

While I can totally find myself being tolerant with all RWBY ships, there's something territorial when it comes to HH ships. It's a different beast on its own, especially with the popular artists that can and will control their fanbase.

Boy do I have a tale of 2020 that had me deal with the mental gymnastics these wild shippers put me through. The sheer hypocrisy, the fear fans had of standing up to them, the collective harassment.

In a synopsis, before we start:

Hi, my name is Hale.

Alfa and Alex are probably the most psychotic people I’ve ever met when it comes to my online daily life. I used to think my ex-friends were the bane of my existence, but Alfa and Alex started making me think just how angelic my exes were in comparison.

So let’s begin.

When I first met the Double AAs, it was Alex first (awhile back in late-June 2020 during Vaggie Week) but it was indirect. I was on my Instagram when I was tagged by a random user in something Alex had drawn. This was when I first saw the kill art of Vaggie. I was so upset that I had yelled at this random user for tagging me, as well as showing it via screencap on my twitter, as a warning to never do this to me to my followers. Keep in mind, I had censored Alex’s name from the screencap, not the random user.

However, Alex saw this somehow and became hysterical, thinking I was targeting him for what he drew. This caused an uproar of his fans to come attack me, and it did cause me to become scared and get away from my account. Alfa decided to insert herself into the mix, but I didn’t care enough for her to say anything. It was mostly Alex and how much he was “scared” and cried about the “fandom being so hateful and scary.” He went private for a while I believe, but Alfa was still going hard at me and sending more of her fans to come harass me.

If Alex ever says he is a strong and brave man, don’t believe him. He fears the HH fandom.

Anyhow, after Alfa’s fans had done their best to gaslight me, I didn’t give in. In fact, I made amends with the random user that tagged me. Somehow they assumed I would like the art of Vaggie being killed, which was childish to even believe in. Nonetheless, I forgave them, and we moved on from there.

But even when we both resolved this together, Alfa and Alex decided that it would be fun to make this “kill Vaggie art” a meme, or trend. With their huge followings combined, they were able to get their artist fans to join in and start creating so much hate art of Vaggie. Many of them drew her head being cut off, mutilated, raped and cheated on.

Alfa and Alex adore gaslighting the hell out of people. While they draw such hideous things, they will go ahead and say, “but it’s just fiction, it’s not real,” and call you psychotic for even caring so much about their bad behaviour. I can only imagine what Alfa’s husband goes through everyday since Alfa loves to make people second-guess themselves often.

Keep in mind, Alfa and Alex are the same people who will cry and shake when their fictional ship is invalidated and written out. They often wish nothing good for Viv and her team that are providing these ungrateful children with the show and content they so badly want. It shows you just how privileged they had grown up as children, doesn’t it?

This wasn’t fun, it was horrible. I didn’t realize just how many toxic people existed in the HH fandom until this “trend” began to spread.

But the funny thing that I'll never forget is how apeshit Alfa went when I had the audacity to draw Alastor plus sized. She accused me of being a pedophile, supporting MAPs. Even though she leans towards being pro-ship (likes incest, OK with lolicon, will condone drawing necophilia.) But me? Having the sheer audacity of drawing Alastor fat? It burned her so bad.

As well, this was being pushed on the VAs during a small livestream. The chat wouldn’t stop asking, “what do you think of the Vaggie kill art going around?” Of course the VAs ignored these questions, but it was really rude to even ask these things. Especially when Vaggie’s VA was in the same livestream.

But then this trend was proven to be a lie, by Alex’s own words. He dropped the ball in a one-off conversation with an anti that “he only created this to get back at the Chaggie shippers.” So retroactively, this trend was worthless.

What also began to start becoming obvious was that Alfa was too afraid to do anything on her own, and thus, she will recruit some darlings to defend her. Alfa seems to have more defenders than she has any confidence to defend herself, and when she has no choice but to stand up for herself, she will buckle and hide. She is weak, is what I had learnt.

I decided to just ignore Alex and Alfa as much as I could. With a friend though, I was given updates of what was happening on the Double AAs’ side in the meantime, and it’s amazing to see just how vile they can be with their own fans and haters. Especially with their new puppy named Salty. (I think that’s their name, another weak ass bitch.)

As months went by, the major event that stirred from the AA camp was when they were harassing Pastel Sky. This would be where the big reveal of just how horrible the AAs and their friends truly are, when they have nobody to harass except for kids. HH has a wide audience of children involved in this fandom, hence why many other artists keep saying we should try to be good examples for them, and keep them safe. But not for the AAs.

Pastel was ruthlessly attacked by them and it was all unwarranted. What they were angry about was that Pastel had the nerve to have negative opinions when it came to AAs, and they broke their own rule of “don’t like then block.” Even Galactic Potatoes (Spuds) would go out of their way, again, to gaslight Pastel into believing that what attacks she received on Twitter was allowed, because Pastel was asking for it. Spuds is well-known to gaslight, a thing they had learnt from the AAs quite often.

Pastel was a minor at the time, and it really doesn’t matter if Pastel was just 17. I don’t care if Pastel was only 17 and that “well she’s almost 18,” because regardless of age, harassment is not the answer. Follow by that, fighting with minors is actually fucking stupid and braindead. Spuds tried very hard to justify why attacks were OK, and that Pastel “should learn” how to grow up. I then learnt that Spuds went into hiding afterwards.

That was until the Double AAs’ discord chats were exposed, showing that they were practically mouth-watering at Pastel’s pain, romanticizing her apparent abuse and trying to convince each other how her punishment on Twitter was correct. Even one (I believe was Jay because he loves me and wants me back) wished that I would die. This would be the third time he asked me to die indirectly, which justifies my points on how toxic and abusive they are.

This entire event seemed to have unraveled a new wave of truths, and it’s sad to know it had to take a literal minor to have their masks fall off.

In 2021, Alex was exposed to be a thief. Stealing commission money for “stress pills.” If Alex is on a path of drug addiction, I hope it’s not the case. That’s a terrible place to be, and hopefully he’ll be clean and grow up for once. I still don’t care enough about Alfa, after now knowing all she is, is just a dramatic housewife with nothing better to do in her life. Perhaps if they just got jobs instead of stealing money from fans, they’d be leading well-productive lives.

From what I understand, many of the toxic fans of the Double AAs have either dropped HH fandom, or have deleted their accounts. Good, I hope they stay gone. The fandom deserves better, not trash.

Needless to say, the best advice I can give to those in the HH fandom that come facing the Double AAs is to not be afraid of them.

Over time, once you get used to their behaviour, you come to realize that this is their default. They’re not likable, they’re not nice, and they aren’t appreciative of one singular thing you do for them (hence Alex stealing from his own fans.)

It’s their M.O., they are just that cruel. So don’t fear them, but challenge their behaviour. Don’t stoop to their level of wanting to draw hateful art, though, that will fuel them. Talking down to them like their idiots always works like a charm.

Anyways, thanks for reading.

If anybody from the Double AAs’ camp ever finds this and reads it, I just wanna say that you are doing a great job, sweety. Thanks for proving me right by the new year. I appreciate the honesty for once. It only took you a year, just think of what other things you’ll do in the next year.

[random-mha-thoughts]

Name part 2 (Todoroki x Reader)

Pairing: Todoroki x fem!Reader

Genre: Angst to fluff

Sequel to Name (part 1)

Word count: 1,445

Tags:  @yuki-osaki​ @liviitehe​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​ 

a/n: I had trouble writing this for some reason.  I started off writing one scenario, but I ended up hating it after writing 500 words and then deleted the whole thing and started over, so I’m sorry if it’s not satisfying enough.  I think I need to just write more angst I think I just need a break from angst, or I’m just exhausted from today because I was out all day.

I promise the ending is happy.  This one is half the length of the original since this was one of the original endings I was considering for the 1st part.

I’ll probably pick right up with the other angst submissions tomorrow if I’m not still exhausted.  Hopefully I won’t go overboard again...

Shoto didn't know how to feel once she left him.  It didn't hurt as much as it would hurt for a lover to walk out on you, but he still felt the most amount of guilt he's ever been burdened with.  He wanted to blame his father for putting them in this position to fail, but he knew how childish that would be.  In reality, he was accountable for his own behavior, and he'd taken his anger out on an innocent person in the same situation as him.  He should have commended her for being the bigger person.  And now he's lost her.

His biggest frustration is that he never even got a good look at her.  In his mind, her image is a fuzzy mix of color, no real outline of a body or face that he can remember.  How could he have lived in the same house as someone for 5 months, but not know them like the back of his hand?  Deep down, he knows that if he had looked at her, he would've internalized how human she is and would've treated her better than a doormat.

As he lay in bed after she left, all the things he wanted to apologize for but didn't get the chance to were still hanging in his mind, uncomfortably unfulfilled.

.

The next morning, Shoto decides he needs to apologize immediately.  He hates the eerie loneliness of being the only person in the house.  Even if he never acknowledged it before, in hindsight, at least he felt he presence of company.  At least he had someone to talk to, even if everything out of his mouth was a critique.  The walls seem to close in on him, the sunlight isn't as warm, and, most importantly, there was no breakfast waiting for him.  A vain problem, but it sobered him to know she had still taken care of his needs through everything.

After fixing his own meal, he called his agency to tell them he's taking the day off and didn't delay in rushing to his in-law's house.  The nervous pit in Shoto's stomach almost makes him throw up his breakfast, but he ignores it.  All acts of courage require varying degrees of nerves.

On his way over, his father calls him constantly, probably to give him an earful about "ruining their perfectly-matched marriage."  He doesn't need to hear it from Endeavor when he's already chewing himself up about it, and he turns off his phone to concentrate.

Shoto walks up to the family's door, smoothing his clothes and hair out.  He feels akin to a boy picking his girlfriend up from her parents' house for their first date and trying to make a good first impression, except Shoto's already married his daughter and needs to make up for the awful impression they already have of him.  Taking a deep breath, he pushes the doorbell, his heart hammering in his chest wildly.

Her father and mother answer the door, expressions less than pleased already.

"Good morning.  I hope I haven't disturbed you."  Shoto was raised with manners, and he hopes politeness with get him somewhere.

The two don't say anything in response to him.  Understandable, given the condition their daughter was sent back in.

Trying not to be too disheartened under their malicious stares, the boy asks "May I come in?  I would like to speak with you and your daughter."

"If Endeavor sent you, we don't want to hear anything you have to say," her mother scowls, rightfully so.

"No, ma'am, I am here without my father's knowledge," he responds earnestly, trying not to seem too firm about his tone or his face.  He's trying to appear sincere, a husband trying to set things right from the bottom of his heart.

The couple exchanges glances, but let the young boy in without another word, which Shoto takes as a small victory.  They lead him to their formal living room where they sit together on one couch and Shoto prefers to stand.  A maid brings cups of tea and a pot to rest on the coffee table between them before bowing and shuffling away.

"I won't allow you to see my daughter," her mother states bluntly, "Not after hearing her crying over the phone for what you've put her through the last 5 months."  The boy almost winces, the memory of overhearing the girl's phone call still fresh.

"You can say your piece to us and we may pass it on to her," her father adds, eyeing the boy.

Shoto breathes to calm the jumping nerves in his gut.  One wrong move and he know he'll be kicked out immediately.  He levels his calm gaze at the piercing glare of the couple in front of him.  "I'm not here to make excuses for my actions.  What I did was terribly wrong, both as a person and as a husband to your daughter.  I accept full responsibility for my mistakes."  He bows fully at the waist.  "I apologize deeply for my behavior towards your daughter.  I let my personal feelings get in the way of our relationship flourishing as she wished.  I don't deserve it, but I would like to ask for forgiveness."

The parents are silent, leaving the boy to listen to his hammering heartbeat as he retains his position.  The lack of response is ear-deafening to him.

"You many stand, Todoroki," her father instructs, the edge slightly lessened in his voice.

When Shoto returns to his original position, their daughter stands between them, remnant sadness still filling her eyes.  It's the first time he's taken a good look at her.  She's a head shorter than him, hair down past her shoulders, respectable composure.  Even with a tired expression, she exudes calm.

He doesn't know what he should do now.  The girl looks between him and her parents.  "I'd like to be alone with him, please," she requests in a soft voice.  It's a stark contrast between the voice that reported their divorce to him.

Though her parents are wary at first, she smiles to reassure them and they agree to leave the pair to talk.

All the apologies Shoto prepared start bubbling up his throat, unsure how to start or organize his thoughts.  He's overwhelmed by how much he wants to say, composure crumbling under the weight of his words.  "I'm so sorry about everything- I heard you crying and I- I'm an idiot for-"

"Funny how you can form coherent sentences to my parents, but not to me," she jokes lightheartedly.

Her small smile calms Shoto so he can gather this thoughts and try again.  "I've done you such a disservice.  I let my anger towards my father prevent me from taking care of you like I should have."  He moves to touch her hand to comfort her, but he stops and redirects it to the back of his neck.  "You must have felt so unwanted and lonely.  I'm truly sorry for everything I've done or said to you.  When I heard you on the phone with your mother, I had every intention of coming back and fixing everything, but you had already made your decision."  His eyes meet her's again.  "If you wish to continue with the divorce, I understand.  I wanted to come and apologize to you because it's what you deserve.  And, if you forgive me enough, we can start over and build a relationship as you wanted originally."

At first, the girl is silent, clawing at Shoto to be left in anticipation.  Then, she tilts her head and asks, a cheeky grin on her lips, "Do you love me, Shoto?"

His hopes come crashing down at the question.  "I'm sorry to say, but I'm not in love with you right now.  Our marriage isn't like that."

She shakes her head at him.  "I wasn't expecting you to suddenly have a huge change of heart like that.  We're still barely strangers, though I do know way more about you than you know about me.  As long as you're open to any kind of affection, it's fine."

His eyes widen childishly.  "Does that mean-"

She smiles, finally showing teeth to him, and envelops him in a hug.  He breathes out in relief and returns the gesture.  A small voice in the back of his had notes how perfectly she fits in his arms.

"Who knows?  We might end up actually falling in love slowly as time goes by," she giggles against his chest.  "That's how it tends to happen in the movies."

The slight vibrations invoke a strange warmth to bloom within Shoto, not resulting from his quirk, and his eyes widen.  Oh.

[midwestharpy]

New Fics for the New Year!

*cracks knuckles*

Alright folks! I did this last year but it was in the notes for one of my fics. This is a better format so here we go! This is pretty much a list of any fics I found that I really enjoyed, and that you might to! Find something you’ll like in 2021! Which hopefully won’t be a trashfire!

Authors are tagged with their tumblr or a link to their AO3 account if I couldn’t find one for them and links for the fics themselves are in the titles. PLEASE check the tags on each story for warnings and ships if you are interested in reading them, know your limits!

Disclaimer, none of these stories are mine. 

Most of these are Harry Potter fics and I need to make the statement that JKR has decided to be a TERF and we don’t stan. We’ve taken the content from her and will not be returning it.

If your story is on this list and you would like it removed, or a link is incorrect, please tell me and I will not hesitate to fix these things. Same goes for if one of these creators have a tumblr, please let me know so I can tag properly and give credit where credit is due!

On with the show!

Harry Potter and the Welcome to the World of Grey by sobsicles

Oh my god this was a ride. Delves into what would have happened if Harry had killed Bellatrix after the battle at the Ministry in OOTP, its such a time.

A Shift in Perspective by @nobodyzhuman

Harry finds out Dumbledore has lied to him for a really long time and he’s on the wrong side of the war. After catching Harry Dumbledore turns him into a cat and sends him gift wrapped to the Dark Lord. Its so, so fucking good if you’re looking for a sympathetic dark side/death eaters story.

The Sun and The Moon by Silverlynings

Drarry soulmate AU that just hits different. Amazingly written and just a really good story? Hermione is the best person ever.

There Is COVID in Ba Sing Se by @koala-otter

Absolutely adorable modern Zukka AU where they move in together at the beginning of the pandemic. Quarantine AU is a thing now, fight me.

Ripple of Change Series by weirdsisters99

Sirius and Snape become unlikely friends and things spiral out of control. Now Snape's a mentor figure for a bunch of Hogwarts students who pretend they absolutely don’t know each other outside of his rooms and visits Sirius in prison. I’m not doing it justice so just go read it please.  

Shoulder Pillow by Music_dreamer_003

Muggle Drarry AU where Draco falls asleep on Harry on a plane. Adorable to the max and just a fluff masterpiece. 

Son of Thanos Universe by @essayofthoughts and Kiterou

Harry is kidnapped from Earth by aliens and is raised by Thanos. He eventually escapes and chills with Yondu, Peter, and the Ravengers, and after awhile makes his way back to Earth. Earth hasn’t forgoten him. It was a time and I love it so, so much. The worldbuilding is phenomenal and also shines a light on what HP cannon could have been without their golden boy. Read it.

Wizards IN SPACE by @esamastation

The Room of Requirement can, in fact, turn into a space ship. Magic teenagers plus a spaceship is not something I thought I needed but I did and you do to. Yoden has done a continuation of the story here that is unfinished but also highly recommended, its amazing.

Be Kind by juhele

I’m not usually one for Cedric/Harry but this. This is a masterpiece. Harry is pretty much a panicking Bisexual and Cedric is the number one. Like he’s just amazing. Boyfriend goals. 

Excuse Me, Do You Fucking Mind? by Nine_3quarters

Another modern Drarry AU but they have superpowers in this one. Draco is in drag. It’s just...everything you could ever want out of this AU and its wonderful

Family is a Purple Bus by @rowanmoonlight

Yet another one I didn’t think I needed but absolutely did. After leaving the Dursleys Harry gets a job on the Knight Bus and the family he deserves in its employees. Just...oh it’s wonderful, so fucking wonderful. 

How Like Home by @waitingondaisies

 Its a god-tier story, like everything by this author but this one. This one. Harry falls through the veil after Sirius and ends up in another universe where his parents are alive and well and Voldemort never existed. No war, no death. Just redemption and a new chance for Harry.

Independent Study by SomewheresSword

So this is now one of my favorite authors, because of not only this but their founders AU and another fic which is right under this one. Its just so fucking good? This story in particular is a Harry got expelled before fifth year AU and its amazing. He lives with Sirius (as he should) and definitely does not have a crush on George. Its great. 

Lily’s Boy by SomewheresSword

Deep sigh. Ok this one. This one. Wizengamot politics meets a taking-no-shit Harry and supportive heirs. Drarry just happened so that's been a plus and its just-look this author made me love Snape/Lupin and that, that my friends, is a feat. 

(Note: This may or may not be up. The author was having trouble with copyright and it was taken down briefly. As of last time I heard it hadn’t been reposted however if you ever see it again, READ IT. This note will be deleted if I see it again on AO3.)

Misticheskiy Institut by GhostIsReading 

Harry says fuck it and moves to Russia. That's literally what happens but it’s so fucking good. There's also a dash of creature inheritance but man I just love the worldbuilding of the Russian school and Magical World its just-gah its incredible.

Pieces Verse by @tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors

Tulip just has a habit of making me cry and I love it. This is the same author who did LAOFT (which I also recommend if you haven’t read it) and has yet again wowed us with their excellence. Pieces is a Sanders Sides soulmate AU. Prinxiety and Logicality were one shots but Dukeceit has received its own chunk and its an angst fest but so. Fucking. Good. 

The Way We Wind by @thesleepiesthufflepuff

*screams into pillow* LOOK IF YOU DIDN’T THINK HARRY OWNING A KNITTING SHOP COULD BE GOOD, IT IS AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT OK?!? Drarry is thrown in but god this is so wholesome?!? Even without it?!? I love it.

To The Dead by LadyoftheWoods

Look. Look. I’ve read a lot in my short, short life. Very few things have made me cry or come close to it when it comes to literature. This? This made me cry. Ghost Sanders Sides AU that's just...wonderful. Its so wholesome and beautiful and I expect any of you who read this and cried to tell me so we can cry about it together. Ok? Ok.

And that's the list for 2020! Obviously there are other fics that were amazing and this is all just my opinion but I hope you get a good story out of this post! Send me anything you think I’ll enjoy to! 

Heres to 2021 being better!

[wetookanoath]

personal struggles, the fate of this and other blogs and apologies.

This year so far has been strange and not good for me and this blog. Some of you know my long history with hate in this fandom and while it’s always nice to hear your kind words, the hate I get is every day worse to the point I had to take off the anonymous option on this blog, my personal, the Library, the writing events and even the damn porn blog.

A few months ago I said I was gonna delete all blogs, and as promised I also deleted my twitter account, passed the instagram account to someone else (who hasn’t done anything with it yet), deleted other b*zzf*ed related blogs I ran, and left others I helped in.

I answered to every and all asks on this blog and the porn blog (most asks now on queue or drafts, waiting to be posted slowly to not spam), finished the event that didn’t went as good as it seemed and passed the administration of the Library to my personal account to never left it die down.

During this time, something happened in my personal life and I found myself in a very dark place I never thought I would go back to after it happened to me many years ago. But it did, and I had to dealt with it all over again, but this time there was a difference, this time I knew were to start and it helped me because I was able to ask for what I needed and get help.

I’m on meds again. I’m not proud of it and it... makes me angry that I’m ashamed to admit it. I’m making less money, lost a person, stopped writing, entered a rehab therapy for two weeks for depression (I didn’t tell anyone but my family, which won me a very long fight with my best friend and two of my best friends online), ended in the hospital last month. 

That long period I spent away from this blog, forgetting to answer replies I got e-mails for and the days of check-in and whatnot for the Exchange, god they were so good even with all that mess going on. I watched and read so many things, even if suffered not writing and other physical things. But I felt good, I really did. Which I think it’s why I was happy to get back here, just to find hate on my inbox yet again (from the same person as always, by the way. This woman really is the saddest person on the planet. Yes, it’s about you. I know you are reading this), and I really thought “why do I keep doing this to myself?”

And then weeks ago I finally realized why. And it’s because I like this show so much. I like the pictures and the stories, the chat group I’m in even if sometimes I feel like they don’t like me, and most important, in spite of all the hate we get here, I love the stories I write for this fandom, and my ship. I’ve never wrote this good, gotten the chance to improve and learn better english too.

I love the writer I am in this fandom and I have wrote so much these past few weeks, and all because I started to write shy*n again. 

So what do I do?

There are days when I forget this blog exists. It’s been so boring, this hiatus and how things have changed, the lack of content makes things dry and easier to forget. I just forget it exists, but then when I get in, it’s fun when there’s no hate. I find it entertaining to go into my blogs and tag everything properly, organize tag pages and make lists of films based on things, make edits, answer old asks I didn’t have time for before.

Since now that anonymous is off I don’t get any asks, I had have the chance to answer in depth so many things I had left behind before, it’s been fun. Like it used to be, January-July of 2018 came again to remind me of how things were before The Change. I enjoyed preparing this blog for my deperture, and I found myself not wanting to go.

My first thought after that revelation? “People is going to hate on me on anonymous for changing my mind”. Isn’t that fucking sad? That I have to condition everything I do so people won’t hate me on anonymous and say horrible things just because I complain bout things, then calm down and change my mind like any other normal person does on a daily basic... on my own, personal blog? 

So, so far, this is what will happen:

The blog reminds, since it’s also kind of an archive for this fandom with how much has been posted that I know it’s resourceful to people for all kinds of things.

Anonymous will perpeturally be off in all my blogs. The Library’s inbox will remain closed.

I’m still going to take my long periods of ignoring this blog, so I’m sorry if you sent me any qs and I don’t answer right away.

It will be on perpetual semi-hiatus, since I will come back once a week to answer things, tag stuff, stock the Library’s queue and the one on this blog.

About the updates, I’m just going to post things I would like to archive myself.

New fanfics/chapters of fics coming every Saturday until I’m done posting everything I wrote these weeks. I’m still writing, so I guess my day of the week to check replies, messages and asks will be on Saturday.

I don’t think I will be around for the new season, not the way I used to. I’m so gonna watch it, but no posts from me anymore. This is a big maybe, since I’m not sure of many things right now, especially with my health as fragile as it is right at the moment.

There’s, so far, 131 original posts on queue. These are: lists that were requested on this blog on such things like all episode Shane called Ryan ‘baby’, personal favorite shyan moments with links (I worked so much in this one, I ended up hating it), etc., edits from many things, included shoots found in old articles and so on, the ongoing ‘fave insta pics’ series of Ryan, Shane, TJ, Sara, Kelsey and the boys in other people’s instagrams, more favorite fanfic edits, and more buzzships edits. Also, a few headcanons, rec lists and solo recs.

Queue will post three posts a day, one original text, one reblog, one original edit. Texts are less than the edits, so when they are over, it will be two edits and one reblog. I will be stocking the queue during my weekly visit, so I don’t know if it will eventually run off original posts or not. 

Library reminds what it is, inbox closed until further notice.

Writing Events is over, though. I’m too tired for that. At least for a long break.

This really all depends on my health and how things are once the show is back. I miss the interaction a lot, so having lost the anonymous option it’s really a big bummer for me, and maybe to the people who did like to interact with me and the blog’s content in a positive way via this option. We’ll see.

And finally, I want to apologize not only for the long of this but for my negative reactions months ago. It was wrong, childish at times and out of character. I didn’t realize I was getting bad, and when I did it had already gotten worse. I can now look at all those desperate posts and see how bad I really was at keeping it together and how desperate I was to be okay. 

While I still believe I didn’t deserve the harassment I was getting, I should had never given onto it and answer back. I shouldn’t. It was not only bad for me, but to the people who followed/follows this blog and engaged into the negativity too. 

I caused that by acting exactly how the hateful people wanted me to, and instead of showing myself as the imperfect human being I am, all people saw was a crying girl asking to be appreciated and loved back. And the reality is that forcing those things to happen won’t make it any better, on the contrary, it makes it worse.

All those times I said, “why does people have to insult me for you to care about me?”, it was because I made it happen. I decided to posts those answers and reply to the hate, and it made people, worried by my answers and the tone of them (yeah, I was pretty suicidal and paranoid, I didn’t realize until recently), send their support. It made it look like that was the case, that I needed to be hurt for people to appreciate me.

But now, I don’t post those things. Had to shut down anonymous asks. And last week I got one ask, just one, of someone saying they love this blog. There was no reason for it, just someone who saw me online and send in their positivity. And it was the best thing in the world, those short words, the best ones.

So yes. My sincere and deepest apologies to everyone, involved or not, for having acted, well, toxic in the past months. Hopefully, it won’t happen again. Meds, no anon and semi-hiatus will make a difference, I hope. And things will be fine.

Thanks for the support, the kindness and the love. And thanks for reading this bible.

Love you,

Nina.

[sakurauchis]

                                        H i a t u s  N o t i c e

┈ Hello everyone! It’s Aleena; some of you may know me by my old URL’s kageyamastobio or dazaiosamu! it’s been an incredibly long time since I’ve last been on tumblr or have posted an edit. As you can probably tell from the title, this is an extremely long overdue post that I’m finally getting around. I’ve been putting this off for so long, but It’s my birthday today on August 16th & I decided that it would finally be a good time to talk about this. I wanted to thank everyone properly and let you all know what’s going on. 

┈ I’ve been thinking of quitting tumblr for quite a while now. As some of you might have been able to tell, I haven’t updated my queue in a very long time. The posts that have been running once a day is whatever I have left that’s been tagged from months ago. It’s almost completely empty now >< I also haven’t posted any edits in a long time too. It’s just a lot of time for me now to maintain my blogs and I think going on this hiatus will help a lot.

┈ It makes me sad to say this but I don’t have as much free time to spend on tumblr anymore. When I first got into tumblr in my last year of high school, I used to love running my blog, as well as being in a bunch of sideblogs with the amazing people that I have met on here. I’m actually entering my third year of university this upcoming fall! A lot of time has flown by and i’m glad for the years i’ve been on here. But I haven’t been able to stay up to date with seasonal anime, and I feel like I have fallen so far behind. I’ve also lost a lot of motivation to keep making edits too :c It’s not that I don’t enjoy making edits anymore, I still do! It’s a wonderful passion I was able to learn and dedicate myself to for the past three years. A majority of my time now is dedicated to school, studying, and more irl things. I also have a boyfriend now haha! Even when I did manage to find some time, I felt like I would only go on tumblr to make sure that my blog wasn’t falling behind. Eventually that kept piling up because I couldn’t keep up to date with the all the new content. 

┈ I still really really love watching anime, reading manga & webtoons, as well as finding new content for all these fandoms. I can’t believe that almost all of my mutuals are still following me despite not being active anymore. It means a lot and I love you guys all so much :’) If anyone is curious, I’ve basically been mostly active on twitter at this point. I’ve been using my main twitter for animanga (and kpop) content as well as my idol twitter for my mobage games. A good chunk of my close mutuals already have me on there, but if anyone is interested, I would love to still keep in touch with everyone on twitter (mutual or not)~

┈ This is also sucks for me to say, but certain tumblr fandoms have also really drained the enthusiasm and motivation that I used to have for them. While I still love those fandoms to death, I find myself not actively keeping up to date because of how tiresome the fandom can be :x I know not all fandoms are like this but it’s sad to see the negative sides of them so often on here. I just don’t want to associate with that anymore! This also leads into another small topic, but I was heavily involved in a lot of drama here a year(?) ago or something. While I have definitely moved on, some parts of it still do affect me today. I’m not going to lie, it has made me not want to make edits as much as before as a result of it. I know I’ve been mentioning a lot of sad stuff but in the long run, i’ve really enjoyed the times i’ve spent on here, crying over everyone’s beautiful edits, and getting to know so many different individuals on here ♡ I’ve actually met two amazing IRL friends through tumblr, reconnected a friend through tumblr/anime and that is absolutely crazy to me because they are some of the closest friends I know in person today.

┈ One of the last few things I want to mention here before I wrap it up. I’ve been talking to some friends on my twitter accounts and I have decided that I am not going to permanently delete my tumblr blog! I’m just going on an indefinite hiatus on tumblr. I have a feeling that I will hopefully come back in the near future! I love seeing fanart, and everyone’s edits for anime so much I'm not sure if I will be gone forever. That being said, I will no longer be updating my queue, and edits will no longer be posted as of now for this indefinite hiatus period. I’m not sure how long i’ll be away. But one thing for sure is my love for anime & how I loved to share these feelings with this community! I hope you can all understand. 

┈ Thank you to each and everyone for showing me so much love and support these past three years (this is so cliche and sounds like a sports anime HAHA), i’m so thankful for all the wonderful experiences i’ve been through (good and bad) and what mainly kept me going for so long was all the amazing people I have met on here. I know I have drifted by disconnecting from tumblr, but I want you all to know that I would 100% still love to talk and connect on twitter if anyone wants to :) I’ll be retweeting this quite a few times. I almost forgot to mention but feel free to unfollow if you would like. I won’t take it to heart, I know a lot of people like to keep their following lists clean~ My tumblr will still be here as an archive for all the edits i’ve made. Thanks for understanding and taking the time to read this, have a nice day everyone!

[oksanadashwood]

Moving Helicopter Ears away from Facebook

Managing a Facebook page has never been devoid of challenges, but in the last year, it has been getting harder and harder, and as of today, I officially give up. 

I can write volumes about the problems I’ve had with Facebook, but I’m not going to make this into an essay and just mention a few of my major gripes for those who wonder what the big deal is with my incessant itching to get Helicopter Ears off it and put it somewhere a bit nicer.

For a couple of years, I have been increasingly perplexed by the growing list of seemingly arbitrary limitations, which, on a closer look, all appear to be engineered to lock organisations into the platform. Audio files cannot be uploaded, and I cannot attach something as simple as a PDF document to a post. YouTube videos get demoted and don’t reach an audience as wide as those uploaded directly to Facebook. Some types of links get demoted in the feed, and I’m not in control of how the page is presented to the users. 

Everything has to be on Facebook, via Facebook, uploaded to Facebook, and presented the way Facebook wants it to be seen. Everything belongs to Facebook—and Facebook can kick me out at any time or close the page without so much as a warning or a chance to get what is the whole history of Helicopter Ears and our followers back, ever. That would pretty much finish Helicopter Ears. 

I’ve had my personal account locked with Facebook demanding that I upload a photographic ID if they are to consider unlocking it, simply because I didn’t have their spammy app installed on my phone, as it turns out—but of course they didn’t tell me why they locked my account or what I had to do to have it reinstated, and it took me ages to figure out. When I began using Mike’s phone to check the page, and the app began bringing his device to a standstill, in a fit of rage, I deleted the app from his phone, and this is when they blocked his account as well. To say that I had a stressful time and lost hundreds in donations would be a hell of an understatement. With mine and Mike’s personal accounts suspended, I could not manage the page at all—the page on which Helicopter Ears depends. 

While we’re on the subject of the Facebook Android app, I’ll mention my intense dislike for it and their Pages Manager: these apps like to take up tonnes of storage and go to feast on your data plan like gigabytes are about to run out, as well as being huge resource hogs: they start and run the phone as they please, drain the battery, constantly track location and insist to know what other apps I use and how I use them. After installing the app to my phone, however, my personal Facebook profile was instantly and miraculously unblocked ... and instantly, my notification bar was littered with what I want and what I don’t without any way to turn off the constant friend suggestions, tips and tricks, and various other interruptions. So I began ignoring the notifications and missing what was important on the page.

The selective blocking of mobile notifications has been sorted in Android Nougat, to get which I had to root my phone, to do which I spent a lot of time, but my resentment of both apps and the paranoia about their intrusive permissions didn’t diminish. And though these permissions can be managed on a rooted device by someone who knows what they’re doing, for me it threatened to become a full-time occupation. And even if I did care to spend hours and days to sort that out, the notifications—in-browser and in-app—are a total mess and a constant distraction. I’ve had to create a separate, friendless account, just to manage the page.

There’s a separate word on the Pages Manager app, about which I gave feedback to Facebook on several occasions, as did countless others, all of which has been ignored by Facebook who seem to have their own idea of how we should run our pages: I couldn’t type a word without a huge pop-up coming up on my screen suggesting other pages to tag and hiding EVERYTHING I’ve just typed. If I was, say, trying to write something about cataracts, as soon as I put in the first three letters, I was rising to tag ‘Cats in beds’, ‘Vegetarian caterers’, ‘Catch me if you can’, and something about the Catholics. It was such a nuisance, it was so unnecessary, and it was so easy to tag some random page by mistake. And when I clicked out of it, I would often do an extra click by mistake and lose my whole post. The app was useless. 

I couldn’t live with that monstrosity, and so, to get around the mobile app, I resorted to using social media management tools such as Hootsuite and Mavsocial, but now that Mark Zucchiniberg’s true business plan and the company’s real values have transpired and he is trying to repair the damage, Facebook suspended these tools (again, without any forewarning or indication of when they’ll be back online), and as of yesterday, the apps I’ve come to rely on to run the page have become non-functional.

But the biggest of all my annoyances with Facebook—and a despicable thing to do on their part—has not been with the apps or permissions or the privacy. It was the bullying. And I’m not talking about all the bickering and threats that I’ve had on the page, but Facebook bullying me into paying to reach the page’s existing supporters. They started encouraging me to ‘boost’ the posts some time ago, but while in the past a small amount such as £5 would allow the post to reach thousands of the page’s existing and potential supporters (7,000 is the number that comes to mind), today £5 would allow my post to show to a couple of hundred supporters at best. They’ve also purposely held back the posts which had a good initial response from reaching a wider audience until I pay my way, and they were very clear about it.

And then there’s the possibility of the page being erased: the Internet is crying out with Facebook page owners desperate to get their pages reinstated after Facebook deleted them without a clear reason, a coherent explanation, and any warning whatsoever. Perhaps, due to their robotic system receiving multiple bogus reports of the posts being offensive to their fragile senses in their efforts to support someone’s hate campaign against the owner of the page. And I’ve had my share of haters on the page—Facebook, as you likely know, is far from a supportive community. And there’s never a real person to speak to; they’ve all been replaced by bots. (There was also a case of someone creating a fake Helicopter Ears page, and despite all the reports from the supporters, her page is still up and running even two years later.)

At this time, Tumblr seems like the most viable candidate for posting anything other than cute pictures and updates, and it’s my first time here and I don’t know much about it, but from what I’ve read, its community appears to be diverse and supportive and free. As to the Facebook replacement, I’m looking at Diaspora. 

I’ve coveted Diaspora since its conception and now have an account. I’ve not used it much, but I’m about to become a whole load more active. It is decentralised and owned by its community, and the user information belongs to the user. It doesn’t require you to use your real name, and it doesn’t demand your ID. The interaction is built around user interests (‘aspects’) rather than a mysterious system of granular and convoluted privacy settings which may get changed at any time so as to get more data to sell to advertisers, and there are none of the asinine ‘apps’ engineered to trick the users into giving away their personal information under the pretence of revelations about who you were in previous life.

And yes, it hasn’t had as much development as Facebook, but what has? At least the development that Diaspora has had has been by those passionate about privacy and the users’ right to their data, and it is open source—they have nothing to hide. 

The Helicopter Ears page will remain on Facebook, and I’ll post to it, but I will be actively moving our primary online presence away from Facebook and hopefully, by the end of the year, have the Facebook page as a supplementary rather than main means of communication with the Helicopter Ears supporters. And hopefully, our supporters will support me in this move.

[maskueradc-a-blog]

Hey everyone! It’s been a long ride but I finally made a huge milestone! 500 plus followers! I’ve never dreamed I would have have so many of you following me. It brings a tear to my eye that everyone loves the meme son so much! Especially with all of you so cool and awesome. And being such good friends. And to those who left, I wish you the best and hope you find some type of happiness wherever you are. First, here’s a little list of people who has made this experience on here such a blast.

-

@beyondarrest I don’t talk to you much but the conversations we did have, mostly us making jokes that Akira was Katsuya’s son and actually making it happen was one of the best moments I’ve had ever since I made this account. Plus, you really make a great Katsuya. You’re the reason why I got invested in playing Persona 2 Eternal Punishment. Still gotta finish it but I do thank you for recommended it to me.

@skullheist Jazz, you were my first friend on here and I thank you for sticking with me. We don’t talk like we used to but I still like you as friend I whole bunch! Hope to still be here with you for many more funny times on here.

@the-phantom-crow Minty, I know my meme son can be frustrating sometime but I am glad you like my version of Akira. I like how you can tell he’s unique and somewhat annoying but a good annoying as I recall you saying a little while back. Also, you are the first Goro I followed and I don’t regret it one bit. Here’s to many more shenanigans.

@dolgelo  I know we haven’t spoken or interacted that much. Maybe a meme or something like that. It’s been to long. Anyways, I love and admire your Mitsuru. So much that I actually like her a lot more than I used to.

@hekigankiseki  Oh gosh. You’re like the first Minato that I followed on here and I gotta say, I really love everything you do with your muse. Keep up the great work. I read all your your threads and headcanons, just amazed at your time and dedication to your muse. Happy vibes to you! 

@gooselullaby !! Your Nana-chan I just a little bundle of sunshine! She’s cute, she’s a little bit sassy but loves everyone. I can tell the love and joy you put into Nanako and ours muse’s interactions are just the cutest! I always love to see you on my dash everyday. Much happy vibes!

@desbearer hEEEy! Unicorn! Can’t forget about u. U are like my most favorite person to know. I mean seriously, I thought I was the only one who liked the RICK ROLL song but to have you like it as well is so awesome! And I love your human monokuma so much. So much that I cry at the perfection. Don’t stop being you, you great person!

@steelbanchou / @ultimatetalentless Sin! There’s so much I’d like to say here! One, thank for being at my side during my more darker patches in the community. You really stuck with me in the month of July. At that time, I felt awful and wanted to delete but you kept me from doing so. I’ll never forget that kindness. And two, I am really thankful for all of the things you tag me in and being cool when I sent you random asks, because we both know how random Akira can be when he’s in a mood. Good thing Yu/Hajime doesn’t fall for the silly things he does. Anyways, I am glad to know you by being here! Here’s to more days to come!

@praepcsitus Hey Yang! I can’t tell you how much I love your Edgeworth! I’ve always been a fan for the ace attorney games and found out about you following me, I literally screamed in excitement! And to my surprise, I found myself liking everything you write about one of my favorite characters too! Keep up the awesome job you do! You really are one of the best Edgeworth(s) I’ve seen in awhile. Much luck to you!

@corruptedpersona Hey! We don’t talk that much but I very much love your (dark) Akira very much! You really make him unique and sometimes down right crazy, but that’s cool too! Enjoy seeing you once in awhile on my dash.

@edgyearring You, yes you! Rach, I just love that we both know about SMT IV and SMT IVA and can talk about it for hours on end. I just like that I found someone who likes something I do. We also like dothack but I was really surprised when I saw you talking about the one game that isn’t liked by many fans. Plus, you’re funny and great to talk too. Always love reading your OOC posts too! Thanks for being my friend. Here’s to many more!

@positivepianist oh my god!! I love your Kaede so much! I know next to nothing about DR3 but reading your interactions with your followers makes me like the pianist so much! Can’t wait for the release of the game and hope she’s just as much as good as your version of her. Keep being positive! 

@whtcoats Libra! I can’t say how much I love your Akechi! From the way your write, to your headcanons, to your crack posts. I’m such a fan, you don’t know how excited I get when I see your posts or when you come online here. I just wanna say I wish all the happy things in the world happen to you because you deserve it! Hopefully, we can have a proper thread or something some day ( besides the one where Akechi kills Akira because the idiot called him ‘Light Yagami’).

@kitsunekatana !! I love your Yusuke so much! With him drawing memes like the crepe for Ann and that other thing that resembles Mara. Those really made me laugh and also that crack thread with him complaining that no one bought him dinner. Keep up the good work! Love seeing you on my dash everyday. Hopefully Yusuke will be fed properly. That boy needs to eat something and not his paint brush.

@pillcger0ftwilight Hey look! It’s Akira buddy, his persona Arsene! Wow, Akira is intense but your Arsene is even more since he likes to bug the cat dad at his home. Even Akira shakes his head at that. Also. them getting into trouble sometimes is hilarious and cute at the same time. But don’t call them cute. The two get really defensive about that issue, even when one of them calls the other that. But they are best friends, which I love. Always enjoy seeing you on my dash. Yay persona!

@lcvesicken Wiz! I miss you so badly but I know life gets in the way. Including, time zones, am I right? But I love all of your muses dearly. But the way my muse messed up and know have Ayano being interested in him is really funny. Not to my muse but he’s going into space to live so it’s all good. Hope to see you again someday.

@entreve / @trickstre P! Like omg. I cry at the perfection that you portray with these two boys ( and also your Nocty, Jun, and others ). I mean, the headcanons are so detailed, the crack posts are pure genius and the OOC stuff is good too! You’re one of my favorite Akira(s), you just don’t know how much I like seeing you and the son on my dash everyday. I really hope everything in your life is always happy and safe. Thanks for sticking around with me and the meme son.

@flaracr I love your Loki! He’s so interesting. Nothing like I would imagine but that is why I like it so much! I’d thought he would be more like the media type but you put a unique spin on the legendary trickster. I like seeing you on my dash everyday and hope we can interact one day.

@queenxfjustice Kate! OMG, the hilarious things we both come up with. With Makoto getting called ‘beep boop’ and Akira naming their hypothetical child Makoto 2.0! But just him being a meme and her trying to deal with that everyday. But I guess someone has to keep him from messing with the masses. haha.

@mcsketeer hey! love to see you around. your haru makes my muse blush like crazy every time you appear on the dash. Hopefully, he won’t be as shy as he has been and might watch scary movies with her some day.

@wildsuit I’ve always been a fan of Tiger & Bunny ever since it came out in 2011. To see your Kotetsu is such a joy to behold. I don’t know how many times I’ve see you on my dash and it makes so happy to see the fandom represented. Maybe some day I’ll come back to the rp side. I used to rp as Yuri/Lunatic actually. haha. surprising right? keep up the great job!

@shushc When I first got followed by you, I was amazed. Even more amazed when I saw how much dedication you put into Shido. He’s a hard character to get right most of the time but with you, it feels like a breeze. I love how mean he is to everyone and that’s what I like about Shido. He’s supposed to be like that. Glad to see you on my dash!

@lunefated Gosh mya! I’ve known you ever since I made this blog and I do not regret ever following you because your are own of the best original characters from the persona 5 community to ever exist! I love your Natsuki so much! Even the times she’s been in the palace(s) ruining the thieves plan. xD

@bopnty Ya know? I’ve never liked CB that much. I watched an episode back when I was in high school but didn’t think too much about it. It was the one where everyone ate the bad food in the fridge or something. Anywho, never picked it up again until your version of Spike came up on my dash. Now I wanna watch the whole series just because of how good you are rping Spike. Keep doing what you are doing because you are rocking it.

@geimaa Your Chiaki is so adorable but also hilarious when she tries to take Hajime down when he calls her short. I can really tell the details you put into her character. Enjoy seeing you on my dash everyday. Love to see what else you make her do that’s hilarious.

@loptri Hey Thoria! Thanks for being a great friend and having my back. I suppose we should make a contest on how many blogs we both make since we do sure have a lot. But we both do a great job portraying all of ours muses. So here’s a shout out to you for being awesome and an awesome Goro ( Akira, Ann, Berkut , and your OC too) ! :D

@whipsmacked You’re new but omg, I love everything you do! I’m a big fan even though I am so slow on replies. it’s so fresh what you do with Ann and it shows how good you are at rping as her. here’s to many more shenanigans.

-

And to everyone else, thank you!

@consumedwithcontempt @ultimctepoet @theholylight @trashcanarcana @kunaiflourish @thecafeleblanc @chxntpleure @nonludum @gaywiththewind @calystegiaidol @mystxryious @shadowsboxer @ayatsurii @millenniumpharaoh @crossxskulled @orakl @artsgasm @preciousyellowidiot @kaitouyusuke @nee-chan-maya @chariodyne @inviai @locksfate @zentokugyaru @severepiratecrown @yuizakami @yamiisha @cardcaptis @ultimategreasemonkey @nagifool @desolisms @tricange @checkeredscarfs @j0kester @desclateblue @uila @aturxox & @divinesight

And to the rest of my followers! THANK YOU TOO!

[horsemilkcancleanyoufromyoursins]

…SHOULD WE KNOW US A LITTLE BETTER TAG… I got tagged by @redheadkitty11! Thanks 😘 RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20ppl… THE LAST: 1. Drink: green tea 2. Phonecall: my grandmother 3. Text message: a friend from University 4. Song you listend to: Infinite - The Eye 5. Time you cried: I think on Monday 6. Dated someone twice: never 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: My best friend moved during 4th grade. Last year she moved back and we met but it wasn’t the same. So more like losing someone special it was losing something special... 10. Been depressed: on Monday? 😅 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: one time about one and a half years ago (the moment I realized that 1/4 litre of Schnaps on an empty stomach is not a good idea. especially when you don’t have time to eat breakfast the next day, because of some lectures)

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: blue, green and everythin in between those two (that counts, right?)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Jope 👍🏻 16. Fallen out of love: no 17. Laughed until you cried: quite a few times 18. Found out someone was talking about you: no 19. Met someone who changed you: no 20. Found out who your friends are: already knew that 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I atually deleted my account this year...

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: back when I still had one: all 23. Do you have ans pets: rats 24. Do you want to change your name: I wouldn’t know what to change it you. And it’s not a bad name. Just very common. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: nothing. I always ignore my own birthdays 26. What time did you wake up: first time at 4.20 but it’s a holiday so I always told myself to sleep a little longer until I really couldn’t fall asleep again at ~7 am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: slept 28. Name something you can’t wait for: next easter. I’m going to Seoul again! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: yesterday morning 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: nothing. even the bad things have made me the person I am and I think that’s ok 31. What are you listening right now: G-Dragon - Untitled, 2014 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: only people that have that as a nickname (are there people that really are called Tom) 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: injustice in general (including everything from sexism to rasism and more) 34. Most visited Website: probs tumblr and youtube 35. Elementary: done 36. High School: done 37. College: I’m currently in my 4th semester. So only 2 more to go! 38. Haircolor: natural: a weird brown that changes with the season; currently: redbrown 39. Long or short hair: I reacently cut it but it could still be considered long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: not really 41. What do you like about yourself: my smile. People have told me that seeing me smile instantly makes them happy as well, so I think it’s nice. 42. Piercings: on my ears (6 lobes, 3 helices, 1 conch and I’m planning to get a rook later this year) 43. Bloodtype: 0+  44. Nickname: usually people call me by my name. I’ve been called Sunny a few years ago 45. Relationship status: single 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: Criminal Minds 49. Tattoos: none... so far... maybe when I get over my fear of needles 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: if it counts: getting a wisdom tooth extracted; otherwise none 52. Piercing: didn’t we already have that one? 53. Sport: horse-riding 55. Vacation: Seoul (it was so amazing when I was there) 56. Pair of trainers: I need to get new ones tomorrow...

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: is love 😍 58. Drinking: usually water or green tea. I only drink juices once or twice a year (mixed with vodka 😂) 59. I’m about to: watch some videos 61. Waiting for: death... just kidding. Nothing in particular 62. Want: I don’t really want anyting. I’m fine with what I have. 63. Get married: maybe, maybe not. (One time my family read up on our chinese zodiac signs and it said that Rats get married early. My whole family had a laugh flash) 64. Career: hopefully I’m able to do what I want to do after University

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: taller  68. Older or younger: same age or older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: doesn’t matter 71. Sensetive or loud: sensetive 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: a good mix

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: only on the cheek because he was crying and I was drunk 75. Drank hard liquor: 😂 yes (my father makes fun of me for not being able to drink anything other than hard liquor) 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: jope, contact lenses 77. Turned someone down: ... yes 78. Sex in the first date: nope 79. Broken someones heart: ... not on purpose but yes 80. Had your heart broken: nope 81. Been arrested: nope 82. Cried when someone died: jope 83. Fallen for a friend: nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: sometimes 85. Miracles: not really 86. Love at first sight: same 87. Santa Claus: ... noooo? 88. Kiss in the first date: sure. why not? 89. Angels: nope

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: Sabrina 91. Eyecolor: weird, brownish-greenish 92. Favorite movie: don’t know but my favorite childhood movie was and will always be Spirit

Tagging (less than 20 people because I don’t really know who to tag): @rninyoonqi, @vbngtn, @aprilscouple @sereneclouds and @youngkpoppin

[zacfaq]

PLEASE DON’T SEND ME “PASS IT ON” MESSAGES !! as sweet as some of they are they can be really annoying. i don’t check my PMs here! if you need to get ahold of me either send me an ask, or email me.

apparently necessary reminder: google exists! i’m not a know-it-all source, honestly i shouldn’t even be your second plan after google unless it’s a question specifically based on me or something relating to me

i try to avoid fandom drama as much as possible and keep a generally positive space, so please don’t come and ask me about stuff like that. thanks. 

if you want to commission me please send an email to zacharyjackbaron@gmail.com. do not email me through this address if your intentions are purely social and not work related

-what do you use to record and edit your speedpaints?

i use OBS to record, and edit in sony vegas

-what do you use to draw?

huion gt-191 and clip studio paint

-what are your pen settings?

just the default settings. all my custom stuff/things i’ve downloaded from CSP assets are just things i think look neat but probably never end up using. 

-a blog called papersans is claiming to be you! are they a thief?

that’s literally me, i use it to archive my art so i can find stuff easier without having to hunt through my tag. also available for people who just want to see my art n not my other posts

-when is your birthday?

february 6th!

-what is your sexuality?

gay. i like men.

-how long does it take you to draw?

idk like. awhile? sometimes 45 minutes sometimes four hours sometimes a week. 

-can i draw you/your ocs?

of course! pls show me after it would make me very happy !!!!! 

-favourite band/singer/musician?

i don’t know a damn thing about myself here’s a spotify playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0Zk5o5g7nMnGt0vrJVEcDq?si=7cd248a0b64046ee

-will you do art for cheap/free?

nah. art is currently the only job/income i have, if ur interested in commissioning me you can either find my prices on like, any of my pages, but if not ur more than welcome to email me @ zacharyjackbaron@gmail.com and i can give you prices there !! -(venting or something involving abuse, suicidal thoughts, self harm, bullying, eating disorders, or other similar things in real life situations. even in fiction i’m iffy.)

i hate to sound rude or not be of help, but please don’t send these messages to me. they send me into horrible anxiety  for several personal reasons. if you’re having such negative thoughts i implore you to speak to someone you trust without an anonymous mask, or do your best to seek help from a professional. i have my own things to worry about and as much as i’d like to help, i simply can’t.

-(asking for advice that isn’t related to art)

i would love to help but i’m not an ~all knowing source~. i can’t give you tips for school. i can’t give you tips for life. not only will i probably not know a solution for you but there’s likely a chance i’m in just as bad a situation as you/going through the same problem, as silent as i am about my personal life. also don’t use ‘asking for advice’ as an excuse to vent about things or to send me a paragraph describing in depth something listed above/that’s potentially triggering. thank you.

even if you’re looking fr art tips i’m not a great source i’m still learning, ur best bet is looking for already existing sources and reading through those bc i don’t preach the word of Art God. i’m also awful at explaining things

-why didn’t you answer my ask?

Main reason is i’m just really really bad at socializing, so it’s not anything on u. i’m almost always low on energy and when i do talk to people it wears me out really quick. i’m also just. not gr8 at talking in general so if i can’t think of a reply i tend to just leave things n then end up forgetting about them

-how do you draw [blank]?

honestly my art style is such a fucked up thing that’s so personalized to my own use i can’t do or make tutorials. the best i can do is direct you to my youtube.

-can we do an art trade?

sorry, i’ll have to say no. i’m not necessarily busy but i get stressed very easily, so i try to keep my art to either personal stuff or work ! if you would like art from me, please considering commissioning me! mutuals and friends may be the exceptions here if they catch me at a good time or we make plans well ahead to do smth when we’re both free to work on stuff

-can we be friends?

please don’t ask this. i’m awful enough at socialization as is and i just don’t fit well with most personality types. not to mention this is just overall a bad question. it backs the person being asked into a corner where they either have to say “yes” and end up in a friendship that actually isn’t working out and is maybe only good for one side bc they’re getting any and all of the benefits, and if they say “no” they look like a total dick bag and come across as an ass. don’t ask this question. it’s not how socializing works. it’s not how friendships work. thanks. -can you tag [blank]? unfortunately i’ve been a real bad place in terms of memory so i can’t tag tons and tons of things. i try and tag more general/basic things but i’m sorry i’ll have to pass on specifics. if i post or reblog things that trigger u or harm you it might be best to unfollow for ur own safety!! very sorry

if it’s specific words you’d like tagged please consider blacklisting the word itself. 

-how tall are you?

i’m 5'11".

-can you promo me?

i’d rather not, doesn’t sit well with me. if you have a commission post you want me to reblog i’m happy to! but i won’t just do text based handouts, y’know? not a fan of being used for visibility for no reason, and chances are if i do it for one person it’ll happen with hundreds of others and i don’t want my blog to turn into a free advertisement zone that just floods peoples’ feeds with promotions.

-you reblogged something from someone extremely problematic/unsafe

thank you for letting me know! tell me what it is they did, even better offer proof on it. i’ll likely delete the post and blacklist their url to hopefully prevent their name popping up on my blog in the future. i won’t publish these asks mostly to avoid discourse or in the event false information is provided. sorta just safety precaution i guess

-you’ve done something bad

again, thank you for letting me know! if i post or say something questionable please feel free to message me and i’ll try my best to address the issue and adjust accordingly. i’m aiming to grow as a person so critique is welcome, both on me and my artwork. don’t just come up and call me an asshole or a prick or something, actually point out the errors and explain why they’re wrong so i can better understand and it doesn’t just turn into a defensive round of who’s worse, because i tend to be a very defensive person.

-i think someone is stealing/reposting your art!

thank you very much for telling me! don’t message them right off the bat, come to me first and i will deal with it. i’ve dealt with this shit tons of times and it’s tiring as fuck but i’d rather repeat the same stupid civil message over and over again than start a giant calamity over something and end up with someone getting hurt. if you do get involved please stay polite about it don’t throw insults just a simple “hey this art was done by princeofmints/tv-headache/zachary jack/dirtypip/(etc my other account names) and he doesn’t want his art reposted, please take this down or add proper credit.”

-can i use your art as an icon?

sure man. only on places like instagram, tumblr, or twitter though, and proper credit in an easy to see place must be given. if a piece of art is of my ocs or especially vent art though never use it for icons. thank you.

-can i repost your art?

the answer is “no” but i know you’re going to do it anyways. easy to see credit is mandatory. if you see somebody reposting my art please let me know and i’ll talk to them. if you want to use my art in things like image edits, i don’t allow that. want to use my art in a video? if it’s something like an AMV sure fine just credit me and inform me beforehand, if it’s something like a cringe/comparison video. no. i don’t want any association with work like that whatsoever. you may not use my artwork for fanfic covers.

-can i colour/finish one of your sketches?

no. even if you don’t intend on posting it. 

-what is [insert some form of media/fandom]

https://www.google.ca/

-why do you have an entirely separate blog for your FAQ? you know you can make blog pages, right?

i’m well aware of that and originally my faq WAS set up on a blog page, but unfortunately many folks proved to be either lazy or just couldn’t figure out how to get to a blog page on mobile so i had to set it up this way for accessibility purposes.

-tons of your videos are gone, what happened to them? will they come back? can you repost them?

i set old videos on private for my own sake, i don’t like having my old content available bc it just looks old and stale and i don’t like it. there’s nothing deep about it, i just don’t want people interacting with my old stuff. as deep is it gets is i just deleted videos related to fandoms i’m sick of bc the association is fuckin annoying. these videos will not come back into public. i do keep them posted for my own reflection sake, but that’s it. don’t ask me to bring them back. don’t whine about me not putting shit back out just bc ur a little sad n gonna cry. guilting people is gross, reevaluate yourself.

if you want a song from an old video, just ask me! I’ll happily let you know what the music is in case u liked ‘em and can’t remember the titles or artists. i’ve also got a playlist full of the music i listen to so u can comb through there n see if the songs u want are there

[goldfieldgold]

Got tagged by @moonxshots
Let’s get started 😊 1. When was the last time you swam in a pool?
- dunno long time ago 
2. Do you like to party?
- depends, but kinda yes
3. If your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do?
- there's no ex so yeah 
4. Are you a virgin?
- yes
5. What are your parents views on sex?
- i dont talk to them about sex. they say its my thing 
6. If you ran into your current boyfriend/crush in 10 years would you marry them?
- I already wanna be married in 10years so..
7. Is your best friend dating anyone?
- yes
8. Describe the shirt you’re wearing.
- plain grey 
9. Do people who wear Hollister and Abrerbrombie every day bother you?
- why should they? You can wear what you want 
10. Could you go out in public without wearing make-up?
- absolutely 
11. What is one feature that you don’t like?
- idk
12. Would people describe you as happy?
- I think most of them would do 
13. Are you single?
- yes :( 
14. Does it bother you that pretty much every survey you take asks if you’re single?
- no why? 
15. Do you have Tumblr?
- noooooooooooooo
16. What about Xanga?
- what?
17. Have you ever babysat before?
- no
18. Is there a teacher who you absolutely hate?
- kinda
19. Ever shopped at Sephora?
- unfortunately not :( 
20. If your current boyfriend/crush suddenly moved away what would you do?
- nothing because there is no one 
21. Do you have any university plans?
- yes 
22. If your best friend revealed she was a homosexual, what would you do?
- nothing, should be nothing that you have to reveal. It’s normal. 
23. What are your views on sex?
- normal 
24. Do sexual questions bother you?
- not really 
25. Would you rather have sex with your boyfriend or break up?
- again what boyfriend? 
26. Have you ever dreamed about your wedding?
- all the time I love it 
27. Does it bother you when people TYpe 1yk dis’? Nd stuff?
- no but sometimes I have a hard time figuring out what it means 
28. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook?
- what exes?
29. Would you ever date a friends Ex?
- it depends but I don't think so 
30. What’s the last book you read?
- 4 Days in November 
31. Ready for 10 simple questions?
- shoot 
32. What is your last name?
- starts with the 18th letter 
33. What grade are you in?
- 12th (senior year whooops) 
34. What school do you go to?
- private one 
35. Summer, Fall, Winter or Spring?
- fall and winter
36. Favorite Color?
- red, pink 
37. Are your parents together?
- married since over 30 years 
38. Any siblings?
- brother 
39. Favorite subject?
- history 
40. Least favorite subject?
- math
41. Favorite song?
- too many 
42. Okay. Simple questions are over. Happy?
- nooo get them back
43. How many friends do you have on Facebook?
- 140-ish I think 44. Ever been requested by some old guy from another country?
- yeah
45. Have you ever googled yourself?
- all the time 😂
46. Have a Formspring?
- sorry? 47. You’re offered free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. What do you do?
- give one to a friend who really likes jb and go with them (even though I'm not really into him but it's for free you know) 
48. Would you rather spend the day at an amusement park or a water park?
- amusement 
49. Been to Disney world?
- no 
50. If someone posts their status “9 Inches :(” do you know what they mean?
- everyone does I guess 
51. Ever had a boyfriend?
- nope
52. Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know?
- not a huge one but a tiny one indeed 
53. Have you done something in the last week that you regret?
- i regret everything? Turning right not left, making my bed, wearing that shirt, eating that stuff etc
54. Ever drank alcohol?
- Of course 
55. Know anyone who’s currently doing drugs?
- Just a unconfirmed confirmed suspicion 
56. Ever watched The Hills?
- no
57. What about Jersey Shore?
- yea but disliked it
58. Ever called someone a slut?
- no
59. What do you think of short shorts?
- everyone can wear what they feel good in if it goes a long with a certain dress code at certain occasions 
60. Does it bother you if people swear around you?
- No 
61. Have you ever gotten an A in a subject?
- yes
62. What about a B?
- yes
63. And a C?
- yes
64. How about a D?
- yes
65. Ever plagiarised?
- nope
66. Would you consider yourself popular and outcast or somewhere in the middle?
- i think I'm rather an outcast or directly invisible 
67. Are most of your friends older or younger than you?
- both 
68. Ever been stabbed In the back by a close friend?
- way too often 
69. Do you think it’s immature when people laugh at the number 69?
- yeah! 70. Ever watched Porn?
- yes 
71. How many laws do you think you’ve broken in the past month?
- hopefully none 
72. Do you wake up with an alarm clock?
- oh yeah
73. Do you prefer Wednesdays or Thursdays?
- neither 
74. If your school had a Glee Club would you join?
- no because I can't sing 
75. Ever performed in a talent show?
- no
76. Have you ever cried in public?
- yeah
77. Do you have a favorite between your Mom and your Dad?
- Mhm no 
78. Would you audition for a reality talent competition?
- never
79. How many celebrity crushes have you had?
- several 80. How many non-celebrity crushes have you had?
- a few I guess
81. Name 5 male celebrities who you think are attractive.
- young tom cruise, young Leonardo di caprio, Jensen Ackles, Andrew Garfield, Matt Damon 
82. Name 5 female celebrities who you think are attractive - Emma Watson, eh.. 
83. Ever been compared to a celebrity?
- no
84. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook?
- on my old account yes 
85. Do you think spending 20$ on Lip Gloss is a waste of money?
- not always 
86. Ever used Opinionated?
- ??
87. Do you have a favorite store?
- no
88. Would you ever wear Flare Jeans?
- what? 89. Do you own jeans that aren’t skinny?
- no
90. Have you ever worn the same outfit twice in one week?
- yes
91. What’s the longest period of time you’ve been away from school?
- 2 weeks 
92. Do you google abbreviations you don’t understand?
- not always 
93. Does it bother you when people have cats as their profile picture?
- no
94. Own a pair of converse?
- 2 
95. Is there a teacher at your school who has obvious favorites?
- yeah
96. If yes, are you one of them?
- never
97. Do you text in class?
- no my school is very strict 
98. What brand of jeans do you wear the most?
- H&M 
99. At what point do you think sizes are “Plus Sized?” Most magazines say 10. Do you agree?
- no! 
100. Do you want to lose weight?
- yes but triggering topic 
101. Ever seen a therapist?
- yes
102. Ever watched porn?
- yes
103. Ever purposely ignored a text?
- yes
104. A facebook message?
- yes
105. A poke?
- yes
106. A friend request?
- yes
107. Would you say you read into things too much?
- im trying not to but yes I do 
108. Is your best friend more likely to be the one suggesting something stupid or refusing to do something stupid?
- dunno 
109. Do you have a “fun friend?” (A friend who you have tons of fun with but you never really have deep conversations?)
- yes 
110. Ever been called a bully?
- no
111. Ever purposely hurt yourself?
- yeah
112. Ever gone to church?
- yes 
113. Would you call either or your parents screw ups?
- yes
114. If you turned out exactly like your Dad would you be pleased?
- no
115. What about your Mom?
- not really either but better than my dad
116. Let me guess… You have brown hair?
- brown blonde red - ish 
117. Already know what you’re being for Halloween?
- Not a big fan of Halloween 
118. Do you still go Trick or Treating?
- nah
119. Ever liked someone WAY older than you?
- celebrity crushes 
120. Does it bother you when people have really loud conversations on the bus?
- oh yeah! 
121. When you have sunglasses on, do you stare at people?
- yes 😂
122. Ever had a credit card denied?
- no
123. What’s the last movie you watched?
- cheetah girls 😂😂😂😂😂😂 
124. Last TV Show?
- suits 
125. You see your Ex making out with one of your friends. What do you do?
- there is still no one 
126. Ever been called a whore?
- no
127. Ever sang the national anthem?
- yes I love it 
128. Ever made yourself throw up?
- tried to 
129. Have you ever kissed someone who wasn’t your boyfriend.
- didn't kiss anyone so far in my life 
130. Are you Cute or Gross?
- some say so some say so 131. Does it bother you when people say “LOOK HOW MUCH YOU’VE GROWN!”
- Mhm not anymore 
132. Can you say intelligent things around the guy you like?
- there is no one but I'm really shy and clumsy 
133. Ever had the lead in a play?
- no
134. What about a solo in a concert?
- no 
135. What kind of a student are you?
- that invisible one with average grades who talks too fast 
136. Worst grade you’ve ever gotten with a Letter?
- /
137. Worst grade you’ve ever gotten with a number?
- 5 
138. Ever had a crush on a teacher?
- kinda but he wasn't a teacher yet 
139. Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant?
- she’s in her mid-fifties so yes
140. How late do you sleep in?
- depends
141. Do you edit your profile pictures before posting them?
- sometimes with snapseed 
142. Be 100% honest. Do you have any friends who are uglier than you?
- no one is ugly
143. Do you believe in all that inner beauty crap?
- kinda yes
144. Would you consider yourself a good student?
- average 
145. Does it bother you when Surveys ask “Did you like this survey?”
- yes
146. Salty, Sweet, Sour or Spicy?
-salty 
147. Are you going into High School this year?
- ending high school this year 
148. What about Junior High?
- //
149. What is one thing someone could say to you right now that would make you cry?
- you're stupid 150. Where did you find this note?
- got tagged 
151. Last question. How many unread messages are in your phone?
- too Many I’m tagging everyone who wants to and reads this

[joiedelauren]

WHAT’S THE POINT? Recently I’ve been feeling like I don’t know what to post or what to say. Social media is a weird place. It’s a place to make virtual friends that might end up entering your life with their physical presence and in the most awesome way (@veganfrenchly is a great friend I made through Instagram!) or sometimes it just feels like a dead end with fake friends and people looking only to gain followers and likes. . I would be lying if I said that I didn’t care about like and followers. The truth is that social media can be addictive and the amount of likes and followers reinforces the idea that I’m doing something right, reaching people who relate to me, hopefully sharing a message that people understand. . But social media only shows the smallest fraction of our lives. And I don’t know if I’d really want to share the moments when I’m singing really loud and out of tune in the car to French music, when I’m crying because I’m frustrated, when I’m frustrated because I don’t know how to make things work... Social media is a platform to express the part of ourselves we want everyone to see - even if you’re typing up your caption sitting on the bathroom floor hiding from everyone. . I’ve come to a point where I don’t know what to share, what to post, what to say. I’ve changed so much since my first post, gone through 3 years of college, lived, worked and studied in France, have had dreams come true and other dreams shattered. . Bon, bref, (in brief) I want to share other aspects of my life. Not just food. So I’m asking you to comment on here if you’re on board! Otherwise I’m thinking I’ll just delete my instagram account. I want to be whole and present, not just show a fraction of myself on this platform. . Thinking about keeping this instagram as a blog, a journal, a place to inspire and to become inspired. Please, comment and tag your most favorite accounts that you follow that inspire you! What are your favorite ways to become inspired? What do you do for fun? . Who even reads these anymore?