#hopefully it is helpful to somebody out there
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nonranghaes · 1 day ago
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heads up: poly fic <3
it's a little later than you mean for it to be when you're finishing up the last of your laundry, basket tucked against your legs on the floor as you dip down to snag another t-shirt to fold and put away. you should be in bed in a tangle of limbs right now, brain already yearning to doze off into hopefully just a blissful night of silly dreams. instead...
"i wish our baby was here." jisung lets out a long, heavy sigh. his head is tucked against minho's chest, one arm draped around his shoulders. he's not even looking at you when you glance back, instead wistfully looking out the window like he's waiting for his beloved to return from the war. "the bed feels emptier without them."
minho, on the other hand, suppresses a tiny smile as his eyes meet yours for barely even a second. "i miss them, too," his fingers comb through jisung's hair a little, snuggling closer. "sometimes it's like they're still here..."
you just put away another shirt, dipping down to grab a pair of your pajama pants. "quit talking about me like i'm dead."
"sometimes i still hear their voice." minho, too, sighs wistfully. "it's almost like they're still nagging us."
you pout a little. "if only i had two boyfriends who could come help me finish this. then maybe i'd be able to cuddle with them again..."
jisung snickers a little, but it's minho who speaks again. "i'll call chan. maybe he knows somebody--"
a sock with a teddy bear pattern hits him square in the chest, and it's finally motivation for minho to get out of bed, already racing toward you. his arms wrap around you as he immediately pulls you away from the last of your laundry (just a pile of socks you'd have to sort through to match together) and toward the bed. the moment you go to call for jisung to be on your side, he's swooping in to further drag you back to bed.
"socks can wait," jisung says, pressing a kiss against your cheek before tossing your lone sock back to the basket. "it's cuddle time."
with a sigh and a roll of your eyes, you're already wrapping an arm around jisung. "fine," you say, planting a quick peck on the tip of his nose, just to see the way his face scrunches in delight. "but you two," you pause, just to bring minho's hand to where you can kiss the back of it, "have to sort them tomorrow."
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harzilla · 2 days ago
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im still thinking of the lost sibling AU. Let's make it for the halloween event guys. Spoilers below the cut for the most recent JP event with Skully.
Rollo has already been talked about for Glomas.
Now for playful land I was thinking Fellow/Ernesto at first.... But I actually think I like the idea of Yuu in that AU being Gidel/Gino's twin. Just cute little kid who becomes psudo adopted by the older NRC boys. Yuu who's actually pretty bright and loves to learn. I even like the idea that if Gidel is twisted from Gideon, then Yuu is twisted from Figaro. The two look different enough that people don't peg them as siblings right away(Yuu has black hair and yellow eyes like Figaro. Also a nod to the fact a litter of kittens can have multiple fathers and coat patterns)
once it's figured out. Of course Fellow and Gidel have to come to NRC and Ramshackle! What kind of big brother would Fellow be if he didn't keep an eye out on his new sibling? Why so shocked? If he's Gidel's big bro he must be Yuu's big bro right? The NRC boys call bull on that. If anybody is Yuu's big bro it's them.
And Gidel and Yuu are just happy to have somebody their own age and they're siblings too! Yuu happily speaks up for Gidel and is absolutely "He asked for no pickles" with Gidel nodding his head along. Yuu actually even tries to help Fellow and Gidel with learning to read, write, math... Etc....
Nightmare before Christmas event. Skully's twin. Now Skully's human and he died centuries ago before the start. Well, what if Yuu died and reincarnated? Separated all those centuries ago. What if the two actually got to grow up together. Yuu being one of the few people who genuinely understood Skully. Even if he didn't have friends at NRC, his twin Yuu was his biggest support.
and then Yuu passed away while they were teens when both were attending NRC. Maybe Yuu died before Skully did and his soul lingered around ramshackle because he wants one chance to see his twin again. A reincarnated Yuu arriving and Skully not having enough energy to show himself but he follows Yuu around because he just feels a connection with them so he always worries about them. Oh how he wished he could have given those other ghosts a thrashing when they kicked Yuu out of Ramshackle during the ghost marriage event!
Then they all get sucked into the book, including ghost Skully. Skully, who hasn't been solid for centuries can finally touch people again. Skully who can't help but cradle Yuu gently while they're asleep. He's always wanted to be able to talk to them. When Yuu awakens they're not really bothered by Skully. In fact, he feels kind of familiar but they can't place from where.
Afterwards once everybody is free from the book, the truth of Skully is revealed and Yuu asks for the portrait. Saying how they think it should be in Ramshackle. Wasn't that Skully's dorm after all?(I say yes in this AU)
Skully's spirit who lingers, back to watching over Yuu but slowly growing stronger and hopefully can even become corporeal enough to interact directly. If not, He'll just have to talk to them again once Halloween comes around again. They have centuries of catching to do.
.
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osovereign · 1 day ago
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out. hello this is kind of embarrassing to say, but this past week has been the worst of my fucking life. i've gotten robbed fired and in a car accident all within less than two weeks and i'm literally suffering so bad. i was already running on thin ice at my current place of employment, but everything kind of took a turn when i pulled a no call, no-show on friday because i was in a car accident and my phone had died and i was at the hospital and i had head pain, and they wanted to make sure that i did not have a concussion. i gave my job the documentation of these events, and then today i had a lady come to my job first and get me because she thought i was somebody else. mind you, i was in the hospital and i did not come to work on this past friday, but she was adamant that i was her server and that i charged her card $200 when, again, i was in the hospital. i was not at work. my manager on duty wasn't trying to fucking help me, so i yelled at her in front of everybody to get the fuck out and learn who the fuck she was talking to amongst other things because that was unacceptable my boss told me he would be doing an investigation, which i didn't understand because i physically was not at work. there's nothing to investigate. there is no way i could've charged this lady's card if i'm not at work. so we got into it about multiple things while i was still at work, and after i left, a couple hours later over the phone so she pretty much terminated me, which it's fine, but that was my primary source of income so i'm kind of screwed.
then i got robbed at gunpoint last week, and while i am physically OK, i had like all of my cash tips from the past week in my wallet, so i lost almost $400 of bill money that i can't get back because even though i filed a police report, like, the cops told me there's no way to get my money back as there's no way to track cash. my only priority at this point is just keeping my phone on because my phone is how i connect to a wifi hotspot to do stuff for university / tumblr. i know i haven't been the most active because i have a very demanding work and school schedule, but one less job means i'll have more time to write hopefully with you all. literally anything helps, even just reblogging this. i feel very bad putting all of this out there, but i'm literally at my wits end of bad event after bad event after bad event. i also apologize to the grammar for this. i'm doing voice-to-text because it's just easier for me right now. i'm thankful that i live at home and my landlord is my mother so i don't have rent to worry about, but pretty much all my other expenses and my day-to-day life do follow me besides rent. i know for that, i am a lot more privileged than other people and while i do have some savings, it's going to pretty much be used to getting me from the doctor and physical therapy appointments because i've already started legal action against the person that hit me and a hit and run, mind you.
edit: blurring license plate
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erzherzog-von-edelstein · 2 months ago
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So, you want to draw Austria in uniform?
Here's a long overdue post that I suggested a while back. Maybe it will be useful to an artist or two.
Q: Why would I draw a character who is notoriously bad at fighting in uniform? A: Because Austrian dress uniform was a symbol of status. Most officers would wear it in public. It was also a tradition of the Habsburg dynasty to be part of the military and wear their uniforms on official occasions, regardless of their own military prowess. Franz Joseph, for example, wore a uniform practically every day of his life and had a rather lackluster track record for battles. Roderich wearing it would be more about prestige than anything else.
If you want to draw him in a historically accurate uniform, there are references below:
So, what do they look like?
Color: White. This is how you would identify Austrian soldiers and officers. The pants are often red. If you're looking at the 18th century or later, this is the uniform in different shapes as fashion changes:
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(from left to right: Seven Years War, Napoleonic Wars, and 1850s)
None of this applies to periods before the standardization of uniforms (which is in the 18th century)
It does also come in light blue, though that is the less common version:
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Changes: In the Mid-19th century, there is an increase in the use of dark grey or blue overcoats in battle. This was because of the increased precision of firearms, which made putting officers in bright white a worse and worse decision.
You sometimes see these overcoats in paintings over someone's shoulders:
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Hey did I mention that Franz Joseph wore uniforms every day? It makes him such a good reference for what Austrian uniforms looked like.
The overcoats are a protective measure for the battlefield, and if Roderich is at a formal event, he should still be in white.
Don't forget the sword! He doesn't have to be good at using it to wear it symbolically. Dueling and fencing were large parts of Austrian officer culture.
Important Decorations (for adding spice to his uniform):
The Red and White Sash: This is self-explanatory. The colors of the flag of Austria. The sash is often associated with being part of the Order of Maria Theresa.
The Order of the Golden Fleece: This is a chivalric order that the Habsburgs were (and still are) the heads of. It goes back to Burgundy as an order of Knights. It's insignia looks like this:
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You'll see it in every portrait of a Habsburg king, emperor, or archduke. There is a Spanish and Austrian version because it is inherited from before the split (and divorce means you split custody of the chivalric order). Both Roderich and Antonio should have one of these. In the Early Modern Period, these were often worn on a chain. In the Modern Period, they're worn on a ribbon:
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The Order of Maria Theresa: Order of Military Merit founded by Maria Theresa during the Seven Years War. Its badge looks like this:
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Order of Franz Joseph: Order of Military of Civilian Merit found in 1848. It's insignia looks like this:
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These are both orders from beloved sovereigns that Roderich is likely to have, just be mindful of when they are created.
One more that was common for Habsburg monarchs, but consider the symbolism if Roderich is wearing it:
The Order of St. Stephen of Hungary: Founded by Maria Theresa, but associated with Hungary. This is still the highest honor of the Hungarian state:
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If you wanted to only include him wearing it after 1867, it could be symbolic of his marriage.
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lotus-tower · 11 months ago
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COVID-19's long-term effects on the body: an incomplete list
COVID’s effect on the immune system, specifically on lymphocytes:
NYT article from 2020 (Studies cited: https://www.biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.05.18.101717v1, https://www.biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.05.20.106401v1, https://www.unboundmedicine.com/medline/citation/32405080/Decreased_T_cell_populations_contribute_to_the_increased_severity_of_COVID_19_, https://www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.06.08.20125112v1)
 https://www.biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/2022.01.10.475725v1
https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.abc8511 (Published in Science)
 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9057012/
https://www.forbes.com/sites/williamhaseltine/2022/04/14/sars-cov-2-actively-infects-and-kills-lymphoid-cells/
https://www.cleveland.com/news/2022/10/in-cleveland-and-beyond-researchers-begin-to-unravel-the-mystery-of-long-covid-19.html
SARS-CoV-2 infection weakens immune-cell response to vaccination: NIH-funded study suggests need to boost CD8+ T cell response after infection
https://www.merckmanuals.com/professional/hematology-and-oncology/leukopenias/lymphocytopenia
https://thetyee.ca/Analysis/2022/11/07/COVID-Reinfections-And-Immunity/
Dendritic cell deficiencies persist seven months after SARS-CoV-2 infection
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fimmu.2022.1034159/full
https://www.n-tv.de/politik/Lauterbach-warnt-vor-unheilbarer-Immunschwaeche-durch-Corona-article23860527.html (German Minister of Health)
Anecdotal evidence of COVID’s effects on white blood cells:
 https://twitter.com/DrJohnHhess/status/1661837956875956224
 https://x.com/TristanVeness/status/1661565201345564673
https://twitter.com/TristanVeness/status/1689996298408312832
Much more if you speak to Long Covid patients directly!
Related information of interest:
China approves Genuine Biotech's HIV drug for COVID patients
COVID as a “mass disabling event” and impact on the economy:
https://www.ctvnews.ca/health/report-says-long-covid-could-impact-economy-and-be-mass-disabling-event-in-canada-1.6306608
https://x.com/inkblue01/status/1742183209809453456?s=20
COVID’s impact on the heart:
https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/deadly-virus-could-lead-heart-31751263 (Research from: Japan's Riken research institute)
https://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/national/queensland/unlike-flu-covid-19-attacks-dna-in-the-heart-new-research-20220929-p5bm10.html
https://www.mdpi.com/2077-0383/12/1/186
https://medicalxpress.com/news/2023-04-mild-covid-effects-cardiovascular-health.html
https://publichealth.jhu.edu/2022/covid-and-the-heart-it-spares-no-one
https://www.bhf.org.uk/informationsupport/heart-matters-magazine/news/coronavirus-and-your-health/is-coronavirus-a-disease-of-the-blood-vessels (British Heart Foundation)
COVID’s effect on the brain and cognitive function:
https://www.openaccessgovernment.org/article/brain-infection-by-sars-cov-2-lifelong-consequences/171391/
https://www.cidrap.umn.edu/covid-19/study-shows-covid-leaves-brain-injury-markers-blood
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/jul/08/warning-of-serious-brain-disorders-in-people-with-mild-covid-symptoms
Cognitive post-acute sequelae of SARS-CoV-2 (PASC) can occur after mild COVID-19 
Neurologic Effects of SARS-CoV-2 Transmitted among Dogs
https://journals.lww.com/nsan/fulltext/2022/39030/neurological_manifestations_and_mortality_in.4.aspx
https://www.salon.com/2023/06/17/new-evidence-suggests-alters-the-brain--but-the-extent-of-changes-is-unclear/
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/covid-virus-may-tunnel-through-nanotubes-from-nose-to-brain/
https://neurosciencenews.com/post-covid-brain-21904/
https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/article/PIIS2215-0366(22)00260-7/fulltext
https://medicalxpress.com/news/2022-08-covid-infection-crucial-brain-regions.html
https://news.ecu.edu/2022/08/04/covid-parkinsons-link/
Covid as a vascular/blood vessel disease:
https://www.salon.com/2020/06/01/coronavirus-is-a-blood-vessel-disease-study-says-and-its-mysteries-finally-make-sense/
https://www.salon.com/2023/12/27/brain-damage-caused-by-19-may-not-show-up-on-routine-tests-study-finds/
https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/sars-cov-2-infects-coronary-arteries-increases-plaque-inflammation
https://www.mdpi.com/2077-0383/12/6/2123
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2021/10/211004104134.htm (microclots)
Long Covid:
Post-COVID-19 Condition in Canada: What we know, what we don��t know, and a framework for action
 https://www.ctvnews.ca/health/coronavirus/more-than-two-years-of-long-covid-research-hasn-t-yielded-many-answers-scientific-review-1.6235227
 https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/london/cause-of-long-covid-symptoms-revealed-by-lung-imaging-research-at-western-university-1.6504318
 https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/long-covid-study-montreal-1.6521131
https://news.yale.edu/2023/12/19/study-helps-explain-post-covid-exercise-intolerance
Other:
- Viruses and mutation: https://typingmonkeys.substack.com/p/monkeys-on-typewriters
Measures taken by the rich and world leaders
Heightened risk of diabetes
https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/2805461
https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-022-00912-y
Liver damage:
https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mumbai/46-of-covid-patients-have-liver-damage-study/articleshow/97809200.cms?from=mdr
tl;dr: covid is a vascular disease, not a respiratory illness. it can affect your blood and every organ in your body. every time you're reinfected, your chances of getting long covid increase.
avoid being infected. reduce the amount of viral load you're exposed to.
the gap between what the scientific community knows and ordinary people know is massive. collective action is needed.
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egginfroggin · 9 months ago
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I just think that Emmet deserves to be a weird lil cryptid, honestly.
Yes, this is related to WtST.
No, it will not be another 20,000+ project, really.
Might spawn some art at some point, though
Anyway.
No content warnings. Enjoy!
Akari and Rei were the ones sent to the Heartwood – being the most adept with Pokemon, outside of Captain Zisu of the Security Corps, they were the last option for dealing with Kleavor that didn’t involve a more forceful manner of approach.
Warden Lian met them at Lord Kleavor’s arena, Goomy slinking around his feet as he set about organizing offerings on a dish, and he looked up at them in confusion.
“What do you mean, you’re here to handle Kleavor?” he said incredulously, instinctively tensing as if ready to fight. “One of you Surveyors already quelled him.”
They blinked, first at the child and then at each other.
The young Warden plucked up the dish and nodded at them to follow as he stepped around the alter and into the arena.
There, an absolutely massive Kleavor chirped at them from the branches before leaping down to land in front of the three of them.
The Kleavor – the same Noble they were sent to deal with – ground out a grumble at the twins before leaning down to nudge Lian’s hat and pluck at the offering, gargantuan axes lowered and held harmlessly to the sides.
“He’s completely calm,” Warden Lian said, gesturing at his Noble. “I don’t know why you came.”
“Because he – he was frenzied, wasn’t he?” Akari said, utterly baffled, her Cherubi squeaking merrily as it tottered around Lian’s Goomy.
“He was – but I told you, that other Surveyor quelled him.”
“Nobody from the Survey Corps has been here since last week,” Rei said.
Lian frowned at that, patting the side of Lord Kleavor’s face.
“He passed by a few days ago," the boy said. "Silver hair, silver eyes with weird gold around the pupils? I thought he was with you.”
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simcardiac-arrested · 2 years ago
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delirious class doodles
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cutneteel · 7 months ago
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meh
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dandyshucks · 7 months ago
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need Guz to hug me tightly for like an hour solid oh my god dhdjdkl I went driving for the first time in over a year and I chewed my lip raw 😭😭
I'm starting to look like a caricature of Anxiety with all these physical symptoms and signs LMAO
#this is so ridiculous fhfjdkdl#i do not like driving fjdkdl i know i should not be on the roads#but unfortunately i have to bc i live rural and also my parents insist i ''just need more practice''#practice is not going to fix the dissociation 😭😭 practice will not fix the Other Drivers being shitty and scary and reckless fjfkdl#it might make it slightly easier bc i wont have to think as hard about shoulder and mirror checks and roadsigns and speed limits#and where i am located on the road and intersection rules and whatnot#but like... it does not fix that i live in a town (and world lol) where ppl are fucking bonkers on the road#i had someone riding my ass for like a full five minutes. we had only two feet btwn us. MAYBE. IF THAT MUCH.#he was BIG mad that i was going the speed limit#and THERES A POLICE STATION LIKE RIGHT NEAR THAT AREA MY GUY IM NOT GONNA GO OVER THE SPEED LIMIT RIGHT THERE LMAO ????#also im a rule follower usually so i do tend to go Exactly the speed limit fjfkdl#and maaannn that makes people SO fucking angry dhfjdl its impossible to drive Anywhere without having someone right on ur bumper#its so ridiculous like... that's not helping anyone ??? ur not getting to ur destination faster by riding up on somebodys ass ???? hewwo ???#ANYWAYS. i drove around the neighborhood and then went up the highway and thru some intersections and then into the main core of town#and then i got my dad to take over from there bc it was lunch hour and the core of town is a lawless land at the best of times#MY NERVES ARE FRIED. i need Guz to act as a weighted blanket or one of those pressure therapy vests for me LOL#im like... shaking fhdjsl that was far more than i thought we were going to do for driving today good lord#IM OKAY THOUGH I SURVIVED I DIDNT EVEN HIT A CURB OR ANYTHING#i think I've only hit a curb once so far in all my times driving and that was on my second time driving on a road i think#so pretty good track record... im a very careful driver fjdkdl i work so hard to be safe and drive smoothly#during my driving test the only thing the test guy had to critique was that i waited at an intersection when i could've gone#but the reason i waited was bc i wasnt sure i could make it across the traffic lane before the oncoming vehicle got to us#so it was like. a safe decision overall but a little too hesitant which can actually be unsafe fjdkdl#AUGH ANYWAYS SORRY FOR RAMBLING SM#driving stresses me out so bad and my lip is all raw now and i have so many physical stress symptoms the past few days fhfjdl#after tonight i should be able to calm down a bit hopefully fhfkdl theres a thing we're going to tonight thats been stressing me out so bad#but after tonight it'll be over and hopefully I can get myself settled down again fjfjdkl#dandy.cmd#vent //
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bastardsofravenkroft-blog · 2 years ago
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I’ve got a plot idea I rather like so anybody actively following me be prepared for me to go nuts about it in the coming weeks because I want to and because I can
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thefunnyandthoughtful · 8 months ago
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youtube
I feel like this is an apt addition and a good source of encouragement for those starting out.
Can't afford art school?
After seeing post like this 👇
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And this gem 👇
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As well as countless of others from the AI generator community. Just talking about how "inaccessible art" is, I decided why not show how wrong these guys are while also helping anyone who actually wants to learn.
Here is the first one ART TEACHERS! There are plenty online and in places like youtube.
📺Here is my list:
Proko (Free)
Marc Brunet (Free but he does have other classes for a cheap price. Use to work for Blizzard)
Aaron Rutten (free)
BoroCG (free)
Jesse J. Jones (free, talks about animating)
Jesus Conde (free)
Mohammed Agbadi (free, he gives some advice in some videos and talks about art)
Ross Draws (free, he does have other classes for a good price)
SamDoesArts (free, gives good advice and critiques)
Drawfee Show (free, they do give some good advice and great inspiration)
The Art of Aaron Blaise ( useful tips for digital art and animation. Was an animator for Disney)
Bobby Chiu ( useful tips and interviews with artist who are in the industry or making a living as artist)
Second part BOOKS, I have collected some books that have helped me and might help others.
📚Here is my list:
The "how to draw manga" series produced by Graphic-sha. These are for manga artist but they give great advice and information.
"Creating characters with personality" by Tom Bancroft. A great book that can help not just people who draw cartoons but also realistic ones. As it helps you with facial ques and how to make a character interesting.
"Albinus on anatomy" by Robert Beverly Hale and Terence Coyle. Great book to help someone learn basic anatomy.
"Artistic Anatomy" by Dr. Paul Richer and Robert Beverly Hale. A good book if you want to go further in-depth with anatomy.
"Directing the story" by Francis Glebas. A good book if you want to Story board or make comics.
"Animal Anatomy for Artists" by Eliot Goldfinger. A good book for if you want to draw animals or creatures.
"Constructive Anatomy: with almost 500 illustrations" by George B. Bridgman. A great book to help you block out shadows in your figures and see them in a more 3 diamantine way.
"Dynamic Anatomy: Revised and expand" by Burne Hogarth. A book that shows how to block out shapes and easily understand what you are looking out. When it comes to human subjects.
"An Atlas of animal anatomy for artist" by W. Ellenberger and H. Dittrich and H. Baum. This is another good one for people who want to draw animals or creatures.
Etherington Brothers, they make books and have a free blog with art tips.
As for Supplies, I recommend starting out cheap, buying Pencils and art paper at dollar tree or 5 below. For digital art, I recommend not starting with a screen art drawing tablet as they are more expensive.
For the Best art Tablet I recommend either Xp-pen, Bamboo or Huion. Some can range from about 40$ to the thousands.
💻As for art programs here is a list of Free to pay.
Clip Studio paint ( you can choose to pay once or sub and get updates)
Procreate ( pay once for $9.99)
Blender (for 3D modules/sculpting, ect Free)
PaintTool SAI (pay but has a 31 day free trail)
Krita (Free)
mypaint (free)
FireAlpaca (free)
Libresprite (free, for pixel art)
Those are the ones I can recall.
So do with this information as you will but as you can tell there are ways to learn how to become an artist, without breaking the bank. The only thing that might be stopping YOU from using any of these things, is YOU.
I have made time to learn to draw and many artist have too. Either in-between working two jobs or taking care of your family and a job or regular school and chores. YOU just have to take the time or use some time management, it really doesn't take long to practice for like an hour or less. YOU also don't have to do it every day, just once or three times a week is fine.
Hope this was helpful and have a great day.
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nomairuins · 1 month ago
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sighhhhh made an entire schedule for an imaginary 3mo baby. and wrote down a bunch of notes about how to take care of my imaginary 3mo baby. but then i got rly sad bc i started writing notes about how im going to be working 8 hours a day 5 days a week during the majority of the babys awake time and now im a bit sad . whatever
#Im not having a baby anytime soon i just like planning and researching and thinking about my imaginary baby that i might never actually have#makes me so happy#i do have a disease where i just cant fathom Another person being there. so if there is thats gonna muck up my schedule potentially...#but. i think daycare is a good option if i can find a nice one that i can afford. hooooopefully by the time i have a baby ill have a good#paying job and obviously if there is another parent thatll help with like. money and stuff#sigh idk im trying not to think abt it more but my little momey earlier reaffirmed to me idk if im ever actually going to be able to be in#romantic relationship and that might be for the best. and also idk im just very paranoid that even if i do magically get uncrazy and fall i#love with somebody and im well adjusted enough to have a kid likee. what if they end up being abusive or neglectful of the baby. you know.#its one of my biggest fears obviously id like. talk In depth abt having kids w them before we have kids and wed work out plans and schedule#together but im just very paranoid basically. but. it doesnt actually matter bc this is all imaginary and Again might not even happen.#im also. hrmm. bc obv a big costsaver daycare wise would be having my parents watch the baby if im living in the same area. however#i have very very specific rules for how ill interact with my baby and i dont know if i trust. my parents. to interact with them the right w#like mainly when they get older one of my big things is that i never ever ever want to yell at my baby i never want to like. yk. i dont wan#to Snap or get angry ik its normal to get overwhelmed and overstimulated but i dont want my kid(s) to like. see me being overwhelmed or#upset w them. you know. but i dont know if i can trust my parents not to snap at my kid . yk. not that i dont want them to meet my kids i#i love my parents despite All that but. idk if id be comfortable leaving my kid alone with them the majority of the day.... yk. maybe#weekend visits once the kids older but i will be Sitting my parents down and Lecturing them . abt how to treat my kid#ik ppl r usually better as grandparents than as parents tho. so hopefully they like. idk. im just very paranoid abt if i do get to have kid#if i do reach a place where i can have kids and take care of them properly like i rly rly want to im rly worried abt like. i just want my#kids to be happy and welladjusted and have a good life And well see this is part of the reason im not ready for kids is bc i place too many#expectations on them already. and i shouldnt go into having a child w a savior complex i shouldnt have a kid for the gratification of#being the one to give the kid a good life. not that i shouldnt want to give the kid a good life but like. you know what i mean. i shouldnt#have a kid just so i can vicariously live out a happy childhood through them. you know. which i fear might be what im subconsciously doing
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plantdyke · 2 months ago
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Nothing is more infuriating than when I’m chastised for being kind or called naïve or a sucker (usually by my mom) like it says more about the other person taking advantage of my kindness than it does about me…
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suiana · 5 months ago
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(yandere! gym rat x gn! pilates princess/prince/liege)
"cutie! you're back again!"
"...yes? this is a public gym."
you stare at the buff man before rolling your eyes and going back to doing your squats.
he's weird, you think. always watching you, trying to chat you up while not so subtly mentioning how he knows where you stay and some private life details.
you don't want to get close to him even if he seems nice.
i mean, he looks and acts pretty dumb. kinda like a beefy himbo. but what if he isn't a himbo? you'd be in a precarious situation then. men are emotional creatures after all. who knows what he'd do?
"hey want me to spot you! you're doing squats-"
"yeah, without weights. i think I'll be fine, thank you very much."
you snap at him, eyes narrowed as you turn up the volume of your music. ugh, will he just leave you alone? all you ever want is to exercise in peace! do your silly little pilates... but no! he has to annoy you all the time!
"w-well... if you need me I'll be in my corner... doing pilates... you know, because i picked it up for you..."
you glance at him as he walks to his pink mat near you, pitifully getting on his knees as he does some pilates exercises. you would've totally ignored him if not for the moans and whimpers he let out with each rep he did.
you pause your squats, raising an eyebrow as your cheeks flush slightly red. was he always this noisy even with his normal exercises?
"dude can you shut- and you're not doing it right... you need to do it like this."
you walk up to him, taking off your headphones as you adjust his position. hopefully this would help him to shut up... he probably just made the noise because he wasn't in the correct pose. your hands brush against his sweaty skin, helping him to get into the correct position instead.
but as you were doing so, he let out even more noises, flustering you beyond belief. what the heck?! can he just shut up?!
you immediately retract your hands, staring at him like he just murdered somebody before walking away.
nuh uh, you're not dealing with freaky men anymore. you tried helping him but he just wouldn't stop his silly acts.
"s-sweetie wait! I'm sorry! please keep going!"
the male whines, immediately crawling after you as his cheeks flush a beautiful hue of red. however, you obviously ignored him, walking back to your own mat as you resumed your squats, headphones plugged in with music blasting loudly.
ugh, so he really is a weird beefy himbo.
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heartfullofleeches · 7 months ago
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Deerboy Yan who tries to get himself caught in cannibal hunter reader's nets so they'll take him back to their home where they'll hopefully have their way with him and keep him as their pet-
"Ahhh- Help! I was walking home all by myself when I felt into this net. It's getting dark soon- Somebody, please save me."
The switch of a pocket blade slices through the still night air. His ears twitch as a twig snaps somewhere in the darkness brooding over his shoulder. Exhilaration draws at the corner of his lips as a voice rasps out- eerily calming as it is dreadfully familar. Like a second kiss with death.
"These traps aren't for you, Deer."
A single cut is all it takes for the net to come crashing to the forest floor.
"Not enough meat on your bones for me. You aren't exactly my preferred choice of meat to start off with."
The deer claws his way out of the net's opening. The drop wasn't too steep, and he needed to act quick. He's been in enough of your safer traps to know his way out - nine times out of ten. Dragging his nails and body through the dirt, the net's rope tangles around his hooves as he struggles. The hybrid tries to kick it off till near exhaustion- flopping onto his back as he kicks his tied legs in the air for you to see.
"But look at what how clumsy I am. It would be so easily for you to drag me back to your house like this.... Using me for hours till I can't fight back anymore when you finally decide to free me."
You turn to walk away.
"You know I think I'd be good bait for other humans."
You stop dead in your tracks.
"A weak, helpless deer chained up in that old slaughter house. "Help, Help! They're going to kill and eat me next. Please, won't somebody save me?" Pretty convincing, right? Just think about all the meat you could have - if you just take me home with you."
A squeal of joy escapes the hybrid's lips as you grab him by the antler's - pulling him along in the direction of your cabin.
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vivwritesfics · 7 months ago
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"I Don't Know Anything About Dinosaurs"
Spencer was meant to be at the museum on a blind date, not walking around with a mother and son, listening to him as he spouted off dinosaur facts. But then the kid goes missing and it's Spencer's mission to save him.
Spencer x Single mother! Reader
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Spencer Reid hated the thought of a blind date. He didn't know if said blind date being set up by Garcia made things better or worse. At least Garcia was a fellow need. She liked some of the things Spencer was into and hopefully knew people who were also into those things.
Their meeting place being a museum had to be a good sign, he thought as he stared up at the recreation of the Parasaurolophus skeleton. But, so far, there had been no sign of her. He looked around with the knowledge that she'd be wearing a green scarf and carrying a museum tote bag, but she was nowhere to be seen.
Suddenly, somebody was tugging at his sleeve. Spencer looked down to see a boy with wild, dark curls staring up at him. "Excuse me, Mister," the boy said as he looked up at Spencer. "You're blocking the sign." Spencer looked to his left and saw that he really was blocking the sign.
Not that this little boy would be able to read it from his height. "I'm sorry," Spencer said gently as he stepped to one side.
He couldn't help but watch as this little boy walked over to the sign full of dinosaur facts. Just as Spencer had thought, he'd been too short to read it, but he stood on his tiptoes and really tried.
When the boy gave up, he turned to Spencer. "Hey Mister," he said and put his hands on his hips. "Wanna help a fella out?"
Spencer couldn't help but wonder where this kid had learnt this phrase. He looked around before he crouched down, matching the kids height. "Is your mom anywhere around here?" Spencer asked. The kid shrugged her shoulders and, suddenly, Spencer was trying not to panic. "Do you want help finding her?"
Again, the boy shrugged. "She knows where to find me," he said and turned his attention back to the dinosaur.
Spencer stayed by the kid. He looked around, searching for any sign of his mother. But nobody around him seemed like they were panicked or looking for him.
Suddenly, shouts filled the room. "Jimmy!" Somebody shouted. Spencer looked around until he saw a young woman running towards him and the kid. "Jimmy!" When she got close enough, she grabbed the boy and pulled him into her embrace.
But then she stood up straight and looked at him, her expression stern. "James L/N, you know better than to run off like that!"
Jimmy pouted as he looked at his mother. "I'm sorry, momma," he said. "I just wanted to see the dinosaurs."
Her face dropped and she ruffled his dark curls. "It's okay, baby. We can look at them together," she said softly.
Jimmy took his mothers hand, but he turned towards Spencer. Spencer, who knew everything, but didn't know why he was still standing there, watching them. "This fella was gonna help me read the sign," he said.
His mother suddenly turned to Spencer. She tightened her grip on her sons hand and placed her other on her hip as she stared at him.
Spencer jumped into action. "He, uh, he said his mother knew where to find him. I didn't want to leave him here until someone came to claim him," he explained.
She dropped the hand from her hip. "Well, thank you," she said and lifted her son up. She placed him on her hip so that he could read the sign and turned her attention to Spencer. "Do you like Hadrosaurs?" She asked as she nodded her head to the not entirely real skeleton. (Well, maybe a few bones were real, but not the whole thing.)
Spencer shook his head. "No. I'm more of a science museum guy," he answered. He didn't add that he rarely got time to visit a museum with his job.
"Well, if you wanna know anything about any of the dinosaurs, I'm sure Jimmy would be happy to answer you," she said in reply. Her smile was polite, sweet, one Spencer found he really liked looking at.
Spencer took one last look around the museum, one last look for the blind date that Garcia had set up for him. He'd mentally prepared himself for a date, mentally prepared himself to be confident and out going. He wasn't about to let that go to waste.
"I don't know anything about dinosaurs." A lie. "Do you mind if I joined you?"
That was how Spencer spent his day. If his date eventually showed up to the museum, he didn't much care. He was much happier listening to Jimmy talk about dinosaurs. For the first time in his life, Spencer bit his tongue. Jimmy rarely got any of his facts wrong, and Spencer didn't add to his knowledge base, not when he'd said he didn't know anything about dinosaurs.
Once they got back to the museum entrance, Jimmy dragged his mother to the gift shop, and Spencer was only happy to follow. When Jimmy found two soft toys that he wanted (an Ankylosaurus and a Pachycephalosaurus), Spencer helped him to decide which one he wanted.
Jimmy told Spencer everything he knew about the Ankylosaurus as they walked out of the museum. But, once they were on the steps, his mother squeezed his hand. "We've gotta go, Jim," she said softly to him.
Jimmy pouted, but then he turned to Spencer. "It was nice to meet you, Spencer," he said. "You're a nice fella."
Spencer couldn't help but grin. "Thanks for teaching me all about Dinosaurs, Jimmy," he said as he crouched down to his height. "Take good care of, Anky."
He stood up straight and looked at Jimmy's mother. "He's right," she said. "It really was nice to meet you. Thanks for being so nice to him. I don't know many other people who would walk around and let a six year old talk at them for hours."
Spencer shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked on the balls of his feet. "No, I learnt a lot," he replied. Neither of them had spoken about Jimmy having a father, or his mother having a partner. There had been no ring on her finger, and the profiler could pick up no indications that she had a partner.
So, Spencer took a leap of faith. "Maybe we could do this again sometime."
Her grin only grew. "I'm sure Jimmy will find some more facts for you," she said, her hand on his sons head. But then she went fishing through her bag and pulled out her phone. "Give me your number," she said and handed him her phone.
Spencer put his number into the phone and passed it back. She typed out a text and quickly sent it to him. "Until next time, Doctor Reid," she said and walked Jimmy down the museum steps, leading him to her car.
Spencer couldn't help but watch them go.
***
The case must have been local. JJ had told them not to back an overnight bag and they all rushed to the BAU as quickly as they could.
It had only been a few days since Spencer had met Jimmy and his mother. They'd texted here and there, but they were both pretty busy with their jobs. Still, he couldn't help but think of them as the elevator took him up. After this case was done, he'd make arrangements to see them again. To find out what new dinosaur facts Jimmy had for him.
He and the rest of the team sat around the round table. Within seconds JJ was walking into the room and turning on the monitor. "James L/N has been reported missing by his mother," she said as the rest of the team passed around folders.
Spencer felt his heart stop. James. Jimmy. Reported missing by his mother. Jimmy, the sweet boy who knew so much about dinosaurs, had been reported missing. He suddenly couldn't breathe.
"His mother said she put him to bed and went to clean up the kitchen. When she checked on him before taking herself to bed, he was gone," JJ continued.
"Jimmy." Spencer couldn't stop himself from saying it.
All eyes were suddenly on him. JJ took a step towards him. "What is it, Spence?" She asked softly. She always was soft with him, almost treating him like he was a child. It wasn't what he needed right now, but he was grateful.
"I-I know this boy," he said as he flipped through the folder that was passed to him. "He, uh, his mom calls him Jimmy, not James."
"You know his mother?" Hotch asked him.
Spencer nodded. "They were at the museum last weekend. I walked around the exhibits with them," he said.
Hotch sent them on their way. He, Rossi, Prentiss, and Garcia began looking through all the information they could find on James L/N and his mother, while JJ, Reid and Morgan went to James's house.
Before this, Spencer had been wondering if he could count their time at the museum as a date. It hadn't been, really. But he wanted to take her on one, or at least get to know her better.
He couldn't believe his first time inside of her house was going to be because of a case. Spencer couldn't help but feel a little sick as he, JJ and Morgan walked up the steps to the house. There was an array of flowers in the garden. Some in pots lining the steps, some on the windows, some hanging beside the door.
Spencer raised his fist. The stained glass window panes painted a scene. Water, a clock tower, a bird flying above the ocean. Spencer sucked in a breath and knocked between the window panes.
The door was open within seconds. Jimmy's mother stared at the three ages. Morgan said her name. "We're with the-"
But, before he could finish he sentence, she threw herself at Spencer, wrapping her arms around him. Spencer stood there for a moment, unable to move. But then he hesitantly wrapped his arms around her. "He's gone," she cried against Spencer's chest.
"I know," Spencer whispered, his large hand against her back. "But we're gonna find him."
JJ and Morgan hung back as they watched the interaction. It felt intimate, something they couldn't interrupt. But she let go of Spencer and stepped to the side, letting all three agents into her house.
She wrapped her arms around herself as she shut the door behind them. "I... I didn't touch anything in his room," she said as she led them upstairs. At the very first room she pushed open the door.
Morgan and JJ pulled on gloves as they stepped into the room. But it was perfectly clean. The bed was made, the room had been cleaned up, but there was no sign of a break in. "Reid, take her downstairs," Morgan said as he and JJ began combing through the room.
Spencer did just that. He took her downstairs and sat her on the sofa, sitting himself beside her. She drew in a shaky breath. "He has Anky," she said quietly and wiped at her eyes. "If I had known you were FBI I would have called you before I called the police."
He swallowed. "I'm here now," he said, meeting her teary gaze. "And I need you to tell me everything that happened, starting with when you put Jimmy to bed."
She ran Spencer through her entire evening. Starting with dinner, and then bath time, story time and bed. She told him how she cleaned the kitchen after dinner and took some time, only ten minutes to read. By the time she went up to check on him, by the time she was ready to go to sleep herself, Jimmy was gone.
When she started crying Spencer rubbed her back. There was little else he could do to offer contact as he asked as she had noticed anything or anybody strange recently. He'd already worked out that the unsub must have known her usual schedule to be able to take Jimmy and then clean his room.
Before Spencer could piece together any information from her answers, the phone began ringing. She drew in a sharp gasp as she turned her head towards it.
When she looked at Spencer again, he nodded and she picked up the phone. "H-hello?" She said, voice shaking as she put the phone on speaker.
"Hi mommy!"
Immediately, tears sprang to her eyes. "Jimmy?" She cried. "Is that you, baby?"
"Yeah, mommy," he said. He sounded fine and she had to take comfort in that.
Her hand fell onto Spencer's and she squeezed. Squeezed him to the point of pain. But Spencer didn't say anything. He squeezed her back, trying to be encouraging. "Jimmy, baby, can you tell me where you are? I-It's almost time for lunch and I need to come get you."
"I'm with a friend, mommy," Jimmy answered. "Her name is mommy, too. She said she's gonna make me lunch."
Suddenly, Spencer's brows furrowed. She. The unsub was a woman.
"Mommy, she wants to speak to you," Jimmy said. Spencer watched as her eyes went wide and she began rapidly shaking her head.
But Spencer squeezed her hand and nodded his head. She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Okay, Jimmy, But, can you tell me where you are first, baby?"
Jimmy didn't answer her.
There was an indistinguishable noise from the other end and then, "Leave my son and I alone!"
It was a woman's voice, an obviously upset woman's voice. As the rest of the team came down the stairs Spencer pressed his fingers to his lips.
"Please," she said desperately as she looked at Spencer. "Please, just bring Jimmy home. He's all I got."
"His name isn't Jimmy!" The other woman suddenly cried. "He's my son and his name is Robert!" She ended the call after that, cutting off the contact.
Her hands shook as she put the phone down.
"His name is Robert," Spencer repeated. He said it to himself a few times as the rest of the team crowded around her to ask her more questions. Desperately, she looked at Spencer, but he pulled his phone from his pocket and pressed it to his ear.
***
Spencer didn't sleep much on this case. He couldn't, not until he knew that Jimmy was safe at home with his mother.
He had Garcia look into mothers who had lost their children. More specifically, mothers that had lost children called Robert.
The whole team tried several different angles for the case. While Morgan and JJ interviewed mothers that had lost children, Spencer and Garcia desperately searched through records of institutions.
Their lucky break was when the unsub called once again. Spencer had been there, thank god. All she had to do was call and he was running.
Garcia had set things up to trace the call. When the phone began ringing, she held her hand against her chest. "It's okay," Spencer assured her.
He picked up the phone and placed it in her hands. "Hi Mommy!"
"Jimmy!" She sat up straighter. "Jimmy, baby, are you okay?" She asked desperately.
There was a beat of silence, one that had her heartbeat erratic. "I'm okay, Mommy. I've lost Anky, though."
She swallowed. "Well, when you're home, we can go to the museum again and get you another."
"Can Spencer come with us?"
Spencer nodded at her. Of course they could go back to the museum. The moment they got Jimmy home, Spencer would take the both of them.
"Yeah, Jimmy. We can take Spencer."
Suddenly the call was ended. "Jimmy?!" She cried, desperately. But he was gone.
"Garcia, have you got it?" Spencer called down his phone as he stood.
Garcia listed off the address. Immediately Spencer was using his long legs to stride to her front door. "Wait!" She cried, rushing after him. Spencer turned, his eyes soft as he looked at her. "Bring him home."
Hotch didn't want Spencer going with them. He was too close to the case, and they all knew it wouldn't end well. But Jimmy knew him, and he was more likely to actually go with Spencer.
The team entered the house, guns drawn. With noises from the living room and the upstairs, the team split up.
Spencer and JJ headed into the living room. Cartoons played on the television, and Spencer had to hope it was Jimmy.
And Jimmy it was. "Hi Spencer!" He called the moment the FBI agent came into view.
Immediately Spencer felt his heart stop. He put his gun away and crouched down in front of Jimmy. "Hey, Buddy," he said as Jimmy hugged him. "We're gonna get you home to your mom, okay?"
"Okay," Jimmy said as Spencer picked him up.
The rest of the team arrested the unsub, a woman who had lost her child years ago. She fought to get to Jimmy when she was walked towards the police car, cuffs around her wrists.
***
Spencer held Jimmy's hand in the police station. Jimmy told Spencer more dinosaur facts. "I wanna go back to the museum," he said. "And I want you to come."
"Your mom is gonna be happy to take you," Jimmy," he said and handed him a pen. Jimmy began drawing as he waited for his mom to show up.
When she did, she ran through the police station. She ran straight over to her son and pressed kisses all over his face. She pulled away to look at him, to check him over. "Oh baby," she said and hugged him tight. "I missed you."
"Missed you too, Momma," he said and showed her his dinosaur drawings. "Can we go to the museum with Spencer, momma?"
With Spencer standing behind Jimmy, he wore a matching pout. "Can I?" He asked.
"Please Momma!"
How could she say no?
(It wasn't meant to be a first date, but the treated it as such)
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