#hopefully i'll exist more in the near-ish future. Hopefully.

[octoagentmiles]

oh hi!!! I haven't seen anyone on tumblr talk about this yet, so I wanted to make sure you all know that the new miniseries "Journey To China" is being uploaded on yt!!

here's a link!!! 🤲🤲🤲

we've been getting three eps a day so far, and there's already nine* uploaded!! and they're vERY GOOD PLS WATCH THEM— ok byeeeeee 🥰🥰👋👋🥰👋🥰👋🥰

(*7 are currently up on OctoWorld's channel, which is who I linked, and the other 2 are up on Mariana Trench's channel—but I'm sure OW will have the last 2 up soon too!)

[transenbyconfessions]

Eternally looking forward to the day I can get top surgery and wear dresses and blouses in the masc way. I want to look like a pretty boy and show off my chest like a fruity little rock star from the 1970s but I've got massive honkers. I can get a sort of adjacent vibe going on with a black muscle shirt/sleeveless tee and a mostly unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt over top, but I wish I was the right shape to wear what I really want.

I just hope I don't need to resort to ebegging to afford to get my tits chopped off because I live in a red state and my government appointed health insurance most likely won't cover it.

My top dysphoria isn't as sharp and pervasive and thoroughly distressing as it used to be because I've been on T for a year and my gender expression is finally in a place that I'm happy with it, but I still look in the mirror whenever I'm naked and don't compute that the person looking back at me is me. Who is that woman looking back at me with the luxurious mullet and giant honkers? Every part of my body is undeniably mine except for the boobs, I only look like myself when I'm clothed or I smush them flat in the mirror.

On the bright side, I have a consultation with a top surgeon in August, so hopefully I'll be flat chested before I'm old enough to buy alcohol. My existence is defined more by trans joy than trans angst. In middle school I wasn't even sure if I was going to get this far.

It won't spare me from having to buy more bras in the meantime, but these days I just measure myself give my grandma my cup size and send her off to get them for me. It sucks that I've finally outgrown the bras from middle school, but within the next five years it's likely that I'll never have to think about the women's underwear section again.

To my fellow trans folks cursed with fat tiddy, I know your pain, and I hope that someday y'all can get to the point where you can imagine a time in the near-ish future where you no longer have to think about sports bras and binders as well. Well wishes for all of you.