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comicteaparty · 5 years ago

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February 24th-March 1st, 2020 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from February 24th, 2020 to March 1st, 2020. The chat focused on Whispers of the Past by Crona J.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Whispers of the Past by Crona J.~! (https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/list?title_no=191366)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace until March 1st, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Discussions are freeform, but we do offer discussion prompts in the pins for those who’d like to have them. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic! Whether you finish the comic or can only read a few pages, everyone is welcome to join and chat with us!

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 1

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic?

2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)?

3. Who is your favorite character?

4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most?

5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it!

6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores?

7. What do you like about the comic’s story or overall related content?

8. Overall, what do you think the comic’s strengths are?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

FeatheryJustice

So far, first impressions, holy cow the art is amazing.

Ash🦀

1. My favorite part about the beginning was the style. It immediately drew me in how everything was lovingly rendered in color that made me feel like I was seeing the world for the first time. It made me want to paint, too! 2. When we first see the man. Whoo buddy. Whoooooooo buddy. That was... a finely sculpted painting there. I could’ve framed him and hung him on my wall if the artist would let me. WHOOOO BUDDY. 3. My favorite character so far is Martel. I don’t write them often, but I love seeing kids in media, and I love the design of her hair. I know it’s a random thing to make me like her but I just... really like her hairstyle. She’s cute, and I’d guess she’ll be a breath of much-needed light air later in the story. 4. Mystery man and Martel are precious. 5. I point to answer 2 here. That lovingly sculpted chest? My heart was a-flutter I tell you what. 6. The art style is just... SO LOVINGLY RENDERED. The quiet moments of baking bread juxtaposed against a chaotic battle was SO. GOOD. Aaaaaah Could also be that that particular part is my favorite part of making bread so it was extra special aaaaaaah 7-8 I haven’t seen enough of the story to answer these yet! But the art is banging and I can’t wait to read more. Subscribed.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I've read this before and the art and story aren't really my thing. Since critique is allowed I could give art comments if CronaJ would find that kind of thing helpful? But even though I won't be following the story I was still impressed by how much care the author puts into it. Both from looking at their comic and from reading their comments on this discord and on the tap forum it's clear they've put a ton of effort into the art and story, and haven't cut any corner.s And all the panels are so rendered. I wonder how long it takes to draw a page?(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Hey everyone! I'm the artist and writer of Whispers of the Past. I want to thank you all for your kind comments and observations so far. It really means a lot to me to hear what others think of this heartfelt project. I know that the story is in the beginning stages right now. But I'm looking to post the end of the first chapter this week, so hopefully a bit more will be revealed soon. Please feel free to ask me questions about anything, or (to answer @Eightfish (Puppeteer)'s question), to offer critiques for how I can improve what I'm doing.(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@FeatheryJustice & @Ash🦀 I'm glad you enjoy the artwork. The painting process is probably what takes me the longest when it comes to pages. In response to @Eightfish (Puppeteer)... It takes me around 30-40 hours per page, and I try to post 2-3 page updates. Obviously, the amount of time spent per page varies depending on several factors, such as: the number of panels, the level of complication of poses, how many characters/background elements there are, and sometimes just whatever weird reason my brain isn't working that day ^^; So for my average 5-7 panel pages, they typically take longer than, say, a full-page spread. @Ash🦀 I'm so happy that the first few pages pulled you in! I spent a lot of time deciding on how I wanted to draw those panels, and what style to use, etc. I actually redrew the first 3 pages at least 5 times before settling on them as they are. And, you can hang and frame the image of our male MC if you want, haha, I actually don't have prints of it, but it is something to consider That particular panel was a one-page spread, so I was able to dedicate a bit more detail to it. Maret is a worthy favorite character. She is too pure and precious, and she just wants to make friends with everybody. Even when the "strange man" is kind of curt and unfriendly to her, she wants to befriend him. Also, I am SO unbelievably glad that you picked up on the juxtaposition in the bread-making scene! Ahhhh! I had a lot of fun with that one

FeatheryJustice

1. The Pacing, I love slow starts to comics because I get to absorb it and learn more. 2. Favourite Moment? Dude trying to climb out the window and failing. That was really funny XD 3. Mysterious dude from the water of course. He has pointed ears, you know something is up. 4. I like Maret and the mysterious man, it seems like a child being like 'this is new and I want to learn more' Also thank you for not writing a grating child character. They sometimes turn up too pure to be real, or too grating because they are too real. Maret at least has that nice balance of a healthy child will not acted spoiled but still want things because child like the scene where she was shoo'ed out of the room. 5. I think we talked about htis a long time ago, but I love the way you draw hands and feet! 6. Nothing so far, not sure where the story will head so I can't answer this. 7. I like the start of the mystery and the slow ramp up. We are just getting comfortable and I'm sure we are going to get rocky soon! 8. Art, from seeing Cronaj spend so much time on it, it's freaking amazing. I can almost feel the characters come to life.

Also on a side note, I want Maret to hear from the Conch shell (As a memey joke) "Under the sea, under the sea" XD

(Mysterious man has red hair, I wouldn't be surprised he turned out to be a mermaid XD Sorry I'm just on slight crack theory mode right now. He didn't sell his voice though)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

When I was first writing and planning this comic, I was a little scared about how slow the start was, but I'm glad that it has been interesting despite the slow nature of the exposition.

2. Favourite Moment? Dude trying to climb out the window and failing. That was really funny XD

@FeatheryJustice Accurate! He's kind of an idiot, and he panics over nothing. For Maret... I actually based her character partially off of my two younger sisters, so that might be a lot of what contributes to her personality and realism. We did talk about hands and feet before! I love drawing hands, because they are so expressive and complex, but hate drawing feet because they are complicated. But I did study from life to draw Maret's feet, because I felt like I would mess it up otherwise ^^;

Hahahaha! I could definitely make an edit of that, tbh.

FeatheryJustice

That would be a funny joke panel if you ever want to do one. XD It's like replace the diaolgue memes XD

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

And I was partially making a mermaid joke when I had the reference to mermaids in the comic because he is a redhead

Definitely an idea....

I would title the episode "Whispers of the Crack"

FeatheryJustice

OMG YES I would love to see that XD

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I have a WotP meme folder on my computer already

carcarchu

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic? Mystery man pretty 2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)? i liked the part where maret was listening to the conch for mermaids, had a lovely magical charm to it 3. Who is your favorite character? mystery man 4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most? not too many interactions so far but maret and the mystery man were cute 5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it! the sunset scenery had a nice vibe

also i can see why people were saying it reminded them of ruroni kenshin, mystery guy especially with his hair up and on the cover image is reminiscent of kenshin but storywise doesn't remind me of it at all

carcarchu

I have some critiques that i'll cover in case you don't want to see them. SPOILER The anime-ish emotes (the blush and the anger vein) to me clash against the realistic artsyle and detracts from the moments, some more subtlety with them would be appreciated. And Maret doesn't really look like a child to me, her face is very mature so it makes her look older than she is. Moreover the 3 characters that have been introduced thus far have very similar facial features. For maret and agatha they are siblings so it makes sense but the mystery man is (presumably?) not related to them so i'm not sure if that's intentional. In any case more facial diversity would be appreciated going forward (if it's just your style that's fine too). And this is a really small nit-pick but the first panel of chapter 6 has horse hooves with the sfx thump thump thump. In my opinion this sfx should be clip clop clip clop END SPOILER

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@carcarchu Thanks for the notes! I actually had a hard time deciding how to portray blush noticeably in a more realistic style, haha, but I can definitely see why it's jarring. Do you have any tips for how to depict blushing without anime emotes? I would just make it more reddish/pink, but it always looks weird to me (or too unnoticeable). As for Maret... She looks like a child to me? She's six, so she isn't quite a toddler, so I don't know if that changes your perception of her. She actually resembles my youngest sister a great deal, and my youngest sister was 5, almost six, when I designed her. (I just looked through the pages again, and there's maybe one panel that I think she looks slightly older in, so if anything, I'll try to fix that panel.) So yes, obviously Agatha and Maret look very similar, hahaha. They are biological sisters, so that makes sense. There will be at least two more characters introduced that are also related to them (and look fairly similar as well) and one character who will be mentioned who is also related and looks just like Agatha. Other than that, Izrekiel does look somewhat similar, I suppose, but it might also be partially that he canonically has a very feminine face as opposed to other male characters to be introduced later. It could be that and also a bit as a result of my style. I'm not sure. Ahhhh, sound effects! I also struggled with deciding what to do here. I wanted to do something different than "clip clop," mostly for a stupid personal hang-up. (I don't know why, but "clip clop" always looks so comical to me.) But if it helps translate the sound better, I might just have to bite the bullet and change it. Thanks for your feedback! Even if I don't agree with all of it, it does help me to take a closer look at what I've done with some different eyes. (edited)

carcarchu

That's fair! You don't have to accept anything just my thoughts (i hope nothing i said was too harsh) for me thump thump is a dull sound whereas clip clop or clippity clop is a sharper and harsher sound

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

yeah, I think you're right about that

thump is more like a heartbeat

or someone falling on carpet or something

carcarchu

and as for the blush question i think there are ways to depict a similar emotion without relying on the blush itself as a short hand like the softening of the eyes, the shape of the eyebrows, looking down and heck even body language can help with this. expression is more than what is shown on just the face

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Thank you. I always feel like my characters look too stiff, like mannequins. ^^; I'm probably not going to completely redraw any old panels at this point, but I might make a few alterations to these panels to make it more consistent with later panels down the line.

carcarchu

i also noticed that a lot of your panels are the characters looking straight towards the "camera" and i would appreciate more varied angles and perspectives

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Particularly with the first ten pages, that is certainly true

I got that note before, but I didn't redraw every panel, only some which looked particularly bad.

carcarchu

personally i never edit old chapters unless i 1. forgot to draw something important 2. there's a huge typo 3. it's missing a panel

any critique you can just keep in your heart and implement if you choose to do so moving forward

keii'ii (Heart of Keol)

2. I really liked "what if it's mama?" - a lot of hints condensed there: family history, how the topic of deaths/ disappearances are handled around children (either in that family specifically, or in that culture), and also a moment that shows a glimpse of Agatha's sisterly love instead of having the readers assume it.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Really loving the comic so far! Right now, I'm most interested to learn about this family situation. I'm guessing their mother is dead or missing, but what about their father? I suppose his clothes were still in the house so maybe he just went out? Or maybe they're both missing and it was just fairly recent?

Also, the paint-y style of this comic is just incredible

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

https://media.tenor.com/images/878a64d90a1139bcb1e863ee29bfa929/tenor.gif

I'm so happy that you guys picked up on the clues about their mother. It alludes to some pretty plot heavy stuff that very few people have really commented on so far.

eli [a winged tale]

Oooh I’m so excited for your story Cronaj! Here are my answers~ 1) I love the beach scene! Maret with the shell is adorable and you established their relationship right away 2) Fav moment is probably the scene transition to our lad waking up with Agatha going about her day. It’s very peaceful and I’m a sucker for slice of life stuff. 3) Can’t pick just yet~ I like Agatha as a solid protagonist though. 4) More Agatha x mystery man please 5) I loooove the illustration aesthetics. Bold colours! 6) haven’t gotten to the core theme yet I’m sure but first impressions/meeting are always exciting. 7) I’m excited for what is to come. Can’t wait for the call to adventure. 8) Strength is definitely the art - beautiful and bold. Keep up the wonderful work!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@eli [a winged tale] Woah!!! You're the first person I've heard say that they like Agatha! She's mah girl! (And don't you worry, there will definitely be a lot more Agatha x Mystery Man ) Thanks for participating

eli [a winged tale]

she’s a solid sister!

sagaholmgaard

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic? I like how the intro had a nice balance between art and text. Usually if there’s a lot of text on the first page I can get deterred from heading a comic, but here I think it worked really well! And the loverly painting of the ocean sunset also reeled me in and fit really well with the poetic text! 2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)? ”He’s the prettiest man I’ve ever seen!” LOL (and she’s right too…) 3. Who is your favorite character? I like the kid! But I’m excited to learn more about the other characters as the story goes on! 4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most? I liked Agatha and Mystery Man interacting, it felt very natural and I’m curious to see what comes of it. But the dialogue felt pretty strong which I gotta applaud 5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it! The beautiful shot of Mystery Man on the beach of course, lol! I love the way the hair is rendered, it really feels like it’s has weight and is spread out in the sand, if that makes sense? 6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores? It seems like it will explore a lot of interesting themes in the future, such as grief and finding where you belong, so again I’m interested to see what the story brings! I’m sure it’ll be good no matter what :D Overall I like what I’ve read so far! It’s not the type of art style I usually gravitate towards, but I can tell a lot of love is going into rendering and I think we’ll be seeing Crona’s art improve a lot as the story goes on, which is always exciting to see!

RebelVampire

What I like about the beginning of the comic, which also goes for what I like about the art in general, is the attention to detail in the background colors and lighting. I've never seen such a beautifully rendered (what I assume is) a sunset. It really makes everything have this great almost mystical atmosphere to it. In general, though, the art so far is definitely the comic's strength because you can see the sheer passion in every drop of it. My favorite moment so far is when Maret gives Izrekiel some flowers and then drags him off and he's just meekly protesting. It was both cute and comedic and the preciousness hurt my heart. This is also why this is my favorite pair of characters interacting so far. I think the age gap combined with the context of Izrekiel's situation is gonna lead to lots of awkwardness that I look forward to. As for fave character, though, I would have to go with Agatha right now. I don't know what it is about her, but everytime I see her I feel like I'm looking at an old soul. Like maybe someone who still has a lot to learn about the world, but is wise beyond her years in other regards. And it makes her a captivating character for me.

While I'm not sure if this will be an overall theme throughout, I like that the comic starts to deal with the theme of loss and hope. On one side you have Agatha who just kind of accepts loss and deals with it, and then you have Maret who just lives on in hope. And I kind of feel they represent two dynamic sides to the issue about whether its better to cling to hope or just move on and deal and how both can be harmful if not expressed in the correct way. As for overall story content, while we're not that deep in, I do like it starts with a multitude of mysteries cause mysteries are always great for making ppl want answers

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Since Crona said they were good with art critique: The main thing I noticed when I first saw the art was that, though lovingly rendered, the characters' faces and bodies are kind of stiff. They don't really scrunch up their eyes and faces when they emote- it's mostly just the eyebrows (this was especially noticable when Maret was crying, or on the latest page, first panel, where Agatha's face doesn't really match her body language or words). And characters often don't seem to twist their bodies as much as they should. Oh- also the same camera angles of faces and bodies are repeated a lot. Front, 3/4, and profile. It'd be cool to see some shots with foreshortening from above or below the characters. Also the lighting is pretty diffuse- the characters seem to be shaded about the same way, and with the same colors, regardless of the lighting situation. I can still tell where the light is coming from, because there are those strong bright highlights in the direction of the light, but other than the bright highlights everything else seems to be shaded as if there was another light source coming from straight ahead. Also, sometimes characters seem to lose their shadows? Like on this page https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/ch-1-what-the-waves-left-behind-pt-3/viewer?title_no=191366&episode_no=4 where Agatha doesn't cast a shadow on the man, or this page https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/ch-1-what-the-waves-left-behind-pt-8/viewer?title_no=191366&episode_no=10 where they're running.

Those things being said though, I was still very impressed by the sheer amount of effort put into this comic. 100 hours/ update is absolutely insane. And you pay so much attention to the inanimate objects of this world. It makes the story feel grounded. About what someone else said: I agree that the cartoonish blush looks out of place. But I disagree about Maret- I think she does look like a child. 5. Favorite illustration? Definitely Agatha's hands when making dough. Not a critique but just a question: I was confused on the location of the story. Where is this?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Ooof. Finally got a chance to sit down and respond to all these comments. I keep rereading them over and over again, so thank you so much for sharing your thoughts everyone! I've noticed a few themes with what people have commented so far: Maret is most people's favorite character, the panel of Izrekiel on the beach is also very popular, and the theme of loss/grief is apparent to the readers (which I'm very happy about.)

@sagaholmgaard I'm glad that you mentioned the theme of "finding where you belong" too, because it is and will be a very prevalent theme in the comic. And reading your comment about how the dialogue seems natural made my day. I used to worry about how the dialogue came off constantly, and to hear that it's strong is so encouraging.

@RebelVampire As is expected, your comments are very thought-out. The interaction between Izrekiel and Maret after he falls from the window is one of my favorite moments so far as well. I'm happy that Izrekiel's behavior came off as meek in this scene, because that is one of the defining traits of his personality. I'm glad for another Agatha fan! She is such a fun (and difficult) character for me to portray. There are so many layers about her that even I am still discovering. She is definitely an old soul, and he experiences growing up have definitely matured her beyond her years. As I mentioned before, the theme of loss is definitely a major theme of the comic overall. And hope as well, since I think the two are very connected.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) Thank you for offering your critiques! Character stiffness is definitely one of my major problems that I'm working at. I definitely see what you mean about Agatha's face in the latest update. Her eyebrows look painted on (pun not intended). I have been looking forward to having some more dynamic poses, especially foreshortening, but I do find it somewhat difficult when most of what the characters are doing so far are standing, sitting, talking, and maybe doing something with their hands. ^^; Hopefully, in the future, when more "action" happens, it will be easier to do this. As for bird's eye or worm's eye shots, I'm not gonna lie, I struggle with them so much. I had two bird's eye panels, and those took so much time, and I still don't know how I feel about them. If you have any tips for exercises, I would be so grateful. (Finding reference isn't always possible.) I also would love some tips/resources on how to get better at lighting. Again, lighting reference isn't always possible for specific panels, so it would help me a lot to learn how light works in general. OOOOOOF! I don't know how I missed the lack of shadow on Izrekiel in that panel. That was 100% a stupid oversight on my part. The scene with Agatha making dough had some of my personal favorite illustrations for a while. :) Also, your question about the location, I'm not entirely sure how to answer it?(edited)

It's a high fantasy story, so the location is entirely fictional.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

The best I can answer that is to say that the story takes place in a country called Shai-Ryam, consisting of four major "districts" in a semi-tropical temperate peninsula called "The Aka Peninsula," named after the native people who originally lived there. As of right now, they are in a city called Gon Atam, a seaside village on the western shore of the Nuata District, near the Ocean of Saturuna. It is a city heavy in trade and with a long history, yet quaint and small due to a disaster several hundred years ago. It is only now being repopulated.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 2

9. Where do you think Izrekiel comes from, and what is his past history that seems to haunt him? Additionally, how do you think he wound up with amnesia and seemingly abandoned by the sea?

10. How will Izrekiel’s past history affect events of the story? In particular, how will revelations about his past affect his relationship with Agatha and other characters?

11. How do you think Agatha’s life will change from her encounter with Izrekiel? Will it somehow lead her to a more exciting life? If so, will it make her miss her simpler life with her family?

12. What are the biggest questions you have so far and are hoping to see answered over the course of the story? Also, what do you think will happen in the story in general?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Ash🦀

9. Okay, so, here’s my theory. Just a guess. So Izrekiel is from a very war-friendly people up north who need land. Izzy just isn’t all about that life, but feels like he has no choice. Then he gets hurt fighting someone close to him (I’m putting money on brother or cousin who lives on the “wrong” side of things, hurt because he just couldn’t fight them at full strength. And then he realizes he can’t do it, while on the ship bound for new fight zones. His captain gets wind of it and is like “oh no I can’t let Mutiny Happen” so HeS all long ike “either fall in line or get off my ship” and Izzy is like “no I don’t wanna fight anymore heck you guys” and the captain proceeds to yeet him off the ship, leading him to the island, which, unbeknownst to him, is the next target. That’s my guess. Might be wildly off. He might be part mermaid. (Merman? Is mermaid gender neutral?) 10. Izzy or his bros probably killed one of Agatha’s family members, possibly the mom? Possibly violently? Which is why she never told babygirl what’s up. It’s probably going to be remembered in the buds of their relationship, hes going to try to hide it but it’ll come to light and she’s gonna be like “Izzy I hate you” and it’s going to make me cry. 11. She’s going to have a bread making partner in the end. They’re going to have adventures and go back to a domestic bread making existence, I speak it into being now /smacks table That may just be what I want to happen, though, as I very much enjoy bread making and wish others the same simple joy of giving dough a good smacking. 12. IS THE MOTHER REALLY A MERMAID OR WHAT Is Agatha a mermaid Are they like Selkies where they can come onto land a little Is babygirl a mermaid too(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Omg... I love reading these theories. I won't say you're wrong or right, but this is a riot. I'm thoroughly enjoying this.

FeatheryJustice

9. Pulls out my Crack Theory brain Okay, so Iz is actually not a very hot man, but actually a really hot princess, transformed into a man since she was exciled from her country but their rules are to give the exiled a new life so they shape shift them into something else. Iz got shifted into a man, and the lovely wide bare chest was because their top was lost to the ocean like how someone would lose their bathing suit top to the sea. Anyways, knowing nothing about themselves, Iz now lives their life as a man never remembering they were a princess in the first place. Ends Crack Theory 10. Don't know, can't say for now. 11. She could always politely kick him out later, so I can't say for now. XD 12. I want to know if there are monsters in this story or just like different species warring it out.

RT|NitghVision

^ I like this theory

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@Cronaj (Whispers of the Past) Oh! I missed that it was high fantasy. I thought the story was historical fiction. No wonder mystery man has pointed ears. I was so confused- I kept thinking, oh, she looks Polynesian and lives by the ocean. But wait, her name is Agatha and she makes bread? And the houses look Japanese? What culture are her clothes from? The world being completely fictional explains all that. I think I was confused by the real names in a high fantasy story- you don't really see that a lot. Finding the right reference for lighting or pose is impossible for me. I have no tips. The only way I've found is to make my own references. I will sit in front of a window, or take a lamp into a dark room or something, and prop my phone up and take photos of myself in the poses and lighting direction I need. But hey, at least that way I don't have to worry about stealing someone else's work?

(i also like feathery's theory)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@FeatheryJustice Crack theories are best theories.

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) Oh! I had no idea you thought it was historical fiction No wonder you were confused! There's a lot of weird cultural-mixing shenanigans going on in the setting, and it's a bit confusing.

I should try that, for now the lighting has been primarily sunlight, or diffused sunlight (which I don't think I depicted correctly).

RebelVampire

Time to crack story theory. I don't know enough about the world to guess a name to where Izrekiel is from. However, wherever it's from, I get the impression its embroiled in a bloody war that is suffering heavy casualties. I imagine that Izrekiel mightve been in a battle and just wound up in the sea by circumstance - like maybe was taken as a prisoner of war and jumped overboard to escape. Something like that. As for the amnesia, well, Imma chock that up to PTSD cause the brief flashbacks we got don't look pleasant. However, I definitely think someone will come looking for him, and that these someone's will make trouble with the people he's just met - perhaps even forcing them to abandon their home with people in pursuit. And I'm sure as Izrekiel remembers more, others are going to really view him as potentially dangerous and blame him (but then get over it cause he's pretty O_O) Given that, I do think Agatha is gonna leave home because of Izrekiel's past running after them. I do think she's inevitably gonna miss the simpler life. Not to the point she won't rise to the challenge, but to the point that she's gonna be like "wait theres danger out here and i didnt even get a sword from an old man in a cave!" As for biggest questions, right now I'm just kind of hoping to see more of the world cause current world events really are gonna dictate a lot where the story could go.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Dude I was literally googling the names to see what country they were from because I thought they were from some obscure real island with a history of cultural mixing that I hadn't heard about before.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Hahaha! Yeah, Agatha is an English name. Maret and Kelan (a character that hasn't been introduced yet) are Irish names. Aalia (another character that isn't introduced yet) is an Arabic name. Kehhasan (another character) is a made-up name. Izrekiel is a made-up name inspired by the biblical names Israel and Ezekiel (although technically it is often spelled in their alphabet as "Isarikieru," which has a particular meaning and pronunciation in an even older—fictional—language). Ryukou (another character), is a real-ish name, based off of the Japanese names "Ryu" and "Kou," which mean "dragon" and "peace/light" respectively. Four other characters have fictional names: Ia, Tammamori, Soro, Ghita (although technically it's a Greek name, that wasn't my inspiration). And of course there are hundreds of side characters with a combination of weird names and name origins.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 3

13. What are you most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic?

14. Any final words of encouragement for the comic?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Deo101 [Millennium]

So! I don't really do so well with answering questions, but I do want to say it's inspiring to me to see just how much WORK is put into this comic. It's really lovely to see so clearly how much you care for it. Just want to give some general words of encouragement, keep it up!

Ash🦀

I’m most looking forward to seeing more of Izzy how the story develops along with your painting. There are so many hints and peeks at the world, and I can’t really guess where it’s going. I feel like I already care for these characters, and I can’t wait to see their journey. I am also not good at encouragement, as generally I’m fueled by spite. But I just wanted to say, keep going! You got this! We believe in you!

eli [a winged tale]

Keep up the good work Cronaj! Your art is beautiful and I can’t wait till we start rolling into act 2!

FeatheryJustice

I'm excited to see what else comes up next!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement everyone! I'm so happy to know that you are enjoying the story so far!

RebelVampire

I'm most looking to learning a bit more about the world structure I think. Since I think current events are really gonna hint at a lot what's going on. As for final words, this is an artistically wonderful comic with a lot of love put in, and I can only imagine how things will improve in the future!

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I'm just really looking forward to seeing these characters grow! This is a beautiful comic, and I can't wait to get more of it!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Before the book club ends, I just wanted to pop back in and say thank you to everyone for their participation. Your kindness, insight, and critiques will stay with me for years to come. I'm so happy to have found a supportive community of readers and fellow creators!

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Whispers of the Past this week! Please also give a special thank you to Crona J. for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Whispers of the Past, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/list?title_no=191366

Crona J.’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cronasonlyfriend

Crona J.’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/cronaj

Crona J.’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/CronajArt

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic book club #webcomic bookclub #comic tea party #ctp #whispers of the past #crona j.

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shadowsong26fic · 6 years ago

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Coming Attractions!

Because I skipped the last two months, lol...

I mean, this one is not necessarily “coming this month,” since I’ll be travelling for a couple weeks in the middle of the month! So I’ll have time to write, but possibly not brain, and I’m not 100% sure what my internet access will be like, so I’m tentatively saying there will be no posts between the 10th and the 24th/25th. If everything goes to plan, though, I’ll build up some backlog of stuff in the evenings and be able to post a bunch when I get back. But we shall see!

Okay, ever on we go...

Precipice:

So, I’m nowhere near where I wanted to be at this point in the year, lol. This arc has been...hm...not really flowing as much as some of the earlier ones did? I think at least in part because Fluff Is Hard, so that half is taking a long, long time for me to get out. And Saw can be difficult, so that half is also fairly slow-going, too. Arc Seven (which takes place three years later) should go faster. Leia has a Key Milestone to meet, Infernalis has things to do, and there’s a Spoiler that sets up a major plot thread for arcs 8-14.

Which, as a head’s up, will most likely be split off into a separate fic. Which I think I’ve mentioned before, but just to be clear. Partly for length, partly for timing--there’s going to be a fairly long timeskip of six years--partly for subject matter/format because there’s a key Moment that happens in Arc Eight (working title Escalation). Right now, the plan is to title this second chunk Protectors, but I might use Precipice II or something instead, haven’t decided.

So, anyway, fun stuff in the pipeline here! I might do another bonus fic or two at some point. I’m guessing Arc Six will be about twelve chapters in total? Depends on how quickly I wrap up the Saw & Ahsoka & Rex storyline.

Oh! Before I switch topics--on the subject of the bonus fics, having read Thrawn: Alliances...there’s definitely one I want to write, with Padme and Thrawn. But, due to potential spoilers, it’ll be a while. Which...I guess I should remind y’all that I tend to work in a blended/tiered canon, drawing on both Legends and canon content as seems appropriate. Also, I locked my official canon before seeing Rebels, which is why Ahsoka and Rex have pretty significantly different backstories. I draw stuff in from later-released contact as it suits me/the story, if it does not completely contradict what I’ve established for the AU.

(Incidentally, as for drawing in Rebels content/characters, I’m still going back and forth on how much of that I wanna do. As I think I’ve mentioned before, the timeskip between Part 7 and Part 8 includes the entire run of the show, and I already had Thrawn worked into a later storyline, plus Rebels would pretty significantly diverge starting with the end of S1/beginning of S2 anyway, so...there it is. There is something I’m leaning towards using Kallus and Zeb for, in around part 13/14, but we shall see.)

AU Outlines:

Let’s Go Steal a Crossover will materialize at some point, I swear.

Also The Mask of Zorro/California Gold Rush AU Fusion No One One Person Asked For. Which is a very long title but pretty much exactly what it says on the tin. I should rewatch that movie at some point. Not just for this, but because I love it.

Also, having read Alliances, for somewhat spoilery reasons the Pellaeon AU is back in my head with a vengeance. (I mean. Not that it ever really left because it’s a fun and somewhat self-indulgent one I pick at pretty frequently.) Anyway, I probably will write that one up at some point, but holding off for a suitable spoiler moratorium ‘cause some of the stuff that came up in the novel will/should be referenced. (...this AU, for those of you who don’t know, is the one where Gilad Pellaeon impulsively kidnaps a fourteen-year-old, one thing leads to another, and now Thrawn is working with the Rebels.)

Also also, at some point I should update Ventress and Her Tiny Time-Travelling Conscience. Because Past!Obi-Wan, Padme, and Palpatine should probably all weigh in on what’s going down...

Other Existing Fic:

Fingers crossed for Distaff and/or Auxiliaries. Because I am very fond of them, I just haven’t had much juice flowing for them lately, sadly.

Also, eventually The Caladrius? I think/hope?

New Projects:

There are THREE of them! :D Because I clearly don’t have enough going on, lol.

First one is Our Faces Like a Mirror (working title); AKA the first big chunk of a potentially massive “shadowsong accidentally fell in love with Bo-Katan and now feels compelled to tell her story” project. This one covering from the backstory civil war until she leaves to join Death Watch. Don’t want to say too much more, since it might be my BB project for next year.

Second is Bail Unfucks the Timeline (which lacks a working title). It’s pretty much an expansion of the AU Outline version. There’s quite a bit of negative space/gaps to fill in, so we’ll see when this comes in. (It also might be a BB project, IDK.)

Third is Untitled ObiAniDala AU Extravaganza. Based on a prompt from @obianidalasuggestion.

Timeline/dummy summary because I are Clever.

In another galaxy, this would be the year the Clone Wars began.

In this one, it’s the twenty-fifth anniversary of the fall of the Republic.

I’m still poking around at worldbuilding for now. Figuring out where Obi-Wan has been for the past twenty-five years since Bail helped him escape the Temple (and making this suitably distinct from Kanan’s backstory); working out Padme’s timeline; having fun with tiny Anakin and Ahsoka; debating whether to adjust Palpatine’s age for credibility, or have the subplot of him overthrowing Plagueis in the background...

Now, courtship narratives aren’t really my strong suit so I have no idea on timing for this one, either, but I’m having fun building it and it will come eventually.

(Also, it occurred to me--and this isn’t the direction I’m going with it--but this prompt also lends itself to a Dark Trio OT3 fic. Where Obi-Wan the Sith apprentice and Padme the clever politician are plotting to overthrow their mutual Master and rule together, or have already done so, and then Anakin falls into their laps, so to speak...again, not going there because while I definitely enjoy reading Empress Amidala AUs (and occasionally Sith Obi-Wan AUs), I am not at all confident in my ability to write one, and besides I’m having way more fun worldbuilding the other one. Just...IDK sharing as an example of how my brain tends to go off on Tangents, which is why I have many AUs of my own AUs and sometimes updates are slow, lol...)

Original Fiction:

With the help of some challenges on the origfic community I post to, I actually got some stuff done this month! Hopefully will keep doing stuff because I’ve missed by origfic characters the past year or so...

Anyway, that’s what’s coming! What have y’all been up to lately?

#coming attractions #shadowsong26fic #shadowsong writes star wars #shadowsong writes original fic

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ahnsael · 7 years ago

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Today I learned just how difficult it is to install a TV wall mount when you don’t own a drill.

The securing bolts are about 4″ long.

I went out and bought a stud finder (it beeped as soon as I picked it up).

youtube

But before I picked that up, I missed the bit about needing a drill.

You know how hard it is to use an awl to make a pilot hole in a wooden stud? It literally took me an hour and a half to get those four bolts into the wall. And hours later, my arms are still sore from the pressure I had to put on them as I was using a not-very-good socket wrench to get them to start gripping into the wood.

But...I got the job done.

The hard part was then mounting the TV to the bracket (it’s above my dresser, and it was REALLY hard to get a good angle to (a) even see the brackets on the TV that I needed to match up to the wall bracket, and (b) reach it in the first place (over a four-foot tall, three-feet-deep dresser that is FAR too heavy to move by myself), and (c) not drop the TV behind the dresser as I climbed on top of it, holding the TV (which is not as light as I thought it would be), to get a decent angle, and (d) hook up the power cord, which was almost impossible, even though my bracket lets me move the TV about 6″ from the wall.

And it’s a good thing I bought the wall mount as an afterthought. If I didn’t have it, I’d still be watching my old TV. If I had to rely on the legs that were included with the TV, well...those would be 45″ apart. And my dresser is 42″ wide. It wouldn’t have worked.

But now I have a gigantic 55″ TV on the wall of my room, and I’ve angled/tilted it so that I see the actual picture, and not the reflection of my bedroom ceiling lighting fixture.

[insert Read More here because I rambled about both the new and old TV]

Turned out that, even using a laser level, I mounted the wall bracket a little crooked -- when I was done, the right side of the TV was about 1″ lower than the left. But the manufacturer accounted for that possibility and included a way to adjust the TV brackets in order to raise each side of the TV separately without disassembling and starting over (and putting more large holes in the wall).

It was a LOT of work (if I’d known what I was in for, I’d have just had Best Buy do the installation [[ free installation was included, but I ordered my wall mount a day later and wasn’t sure it would have been here, and the 5.1 sound bar still isn’t here yet, and I’m too macho in my head for my own good and say “I can install it myself! but there are things that could have been done better than I did them with the right tools), but...it’s up, and it looks fantastic.Any larger would have been too big (not that I wouldn’t want a full-wall TV, but...with the furniture and the wall decorations, this BARELY fit without blocking anything or being blocked by anything). And don’t get me wrong...if it was just hooking up cables to the TV, I would be golden

But a wall mount? That was VERY new to me. And I screwed it up.

But since I ordered it a day after the TV, I said no to the installation, thinking they’d come to install the TV to my wall only to find that I had no wall mount.

It all worked out (so far -- after about 12 hours, my TV hasn’t fallen off the wall, so I’m thinking I probably did it right (despite the fact that one of the bolts went in at about 30º upper-left instead of going striaght int the wood stud) even though the TV is FAR from centered on the mount -- bust MOSTLY centered where I need it, and angled to where the reflection of my bedroom light isn’t glaraing back at me via the TV screen -- because of where the studs in my wall are).

But for wood stud installations, the manufacturer says that positioning the TV at ANY POINT along the wall bracket works, so I think I’ll be okay.

I leveled it. I raised it on both sides (I was about 2″ short in where I installed the mount, but the TV portion of the mount had a work-around that I used).

And unlike my old TV (which I have to figure out how to legally get rid of -- see below for how Ive decided to try to get rid of it without paying reycling fees; if someone ffers me $5, I’m gonna take it), the new one hasn’t restarted itself once when I didn’t want it to so far (it did restart when it was first turned on and downloading software updates, but that was just part of the update process).

I had thought about waiting until tomorrow to install the new TV, but when I turned on my old TV earlier, the sound cut out -- and it literally took 15 minutes for the TV to reboot with sound. That was when I decided that today was the day. And I was without a TV in my room for HOURS while I installed the new one.

The only thing -- I went into my parents’ room to get a step stool which I knew was there to help me reach where I needed to install the wall mount (and, later, climb on top of my dresser, which I’m REALLY glad I didn’t end up tipping over as I carefully shifted my weight onto it -- there was one pretty close call). Their bedroom door was closed. They usually leave it open when they’re out of town.

And right by their dresser, there’s a 40″ flat screen TV, brand new in the box.

When my mom asked about birthday gifts, my reply included a new TV. They ended up getting me the Disneyland Spirit Award pin (which I mentioned in the same email), but...they may have decided to save that TV for a Christmas gift (and a very nice one, don’t get me wrong).

So tomorrow I’d better text to say Happy Thanksgiving and also mention that I bought myself something nice for my birthday. That way they can (hopefully) return the TV when they get home (if it is for me -- I don’t know that for sure), and if it will have been too long since they purchased it, maybe use it as an upgrade from their own smaller 32″ TV in their room.

Now I’m just waiting for my 5.1-Channel Sound Bar (with wireless sub-woofer and rear speakers -- which now costs $20 more on Best Buy’s website than it did when I bought it in their “pre-Black Friday sale”).

I ordered it in the same transaction as the wall mount, but while the wall mount arrived a day earlier than promised, the sound bar -- instead of being shipped from California to here in a couple days -- was sent from California to Utah for some reason. Even at 2:00 Wednesday morning, the tracking info from UPS said “on time delivery by the end of the day Tuesday the 21st.” Now it’s expected to arrive on the 24th, while I’m at work (hopefully it won’t get stolen from my front porch). I see on the tracking that it made it earlier tonight to the place in Nevada where it will be put on a truck to my house, but UPS also says that they don’t do deliveries on Thanksgiving (which is fine...just hoping that nobody steals this $170 sound bar as it sits on my porch all day until I get home from work.) Also, I decided to sell my old TV on CraistList rather than try to find a legal way to dispose of it (which might cost me money -- Best Buy wanted $15 to haul it away).

But fear not, my integrity is intact. The following is the ad I submitted (which can be seen at https://reno.craigslist.org/ele/d/flat-screen-smart-tv-works-as/6397825672.html):

I just replaced a 38½" 1080P Insignia flat screen Smart TV and it's yours for a low price. The original box (not included) said 39" Class but official diagonal measurement is 38½" (which my tape measure agrees with). For full product details, see https://www.insigniaproducts.com/pdp/NS-39DR510NA17/4863802 (this is the exact model I am selling -- they are still selling it new for $180, so you can save some money here if you can accept that it's a TV bought in July of 2016 and used daily since then). A couple of caveats, because I want to run an honest ad: The TV has a history of restarting itself at random times. You might be watching a favorite show, and the TV will reset, go to the Insignia/ROKU logo, and start from scratch, so you may miss a part of what you are watching. Sometimes the sound gives out, and a reboot to fix it (large square button on the back left of the TV -- hold it down until it starts the reboot process) can take up to 10-15 minutes before you're back to watching TV. The basic restarts happen, on average, once a day (some days it happens twice, other days it doesn't happen at all), and those generally take a minute or two before you're back to watching TV or playing your video game (I would NOT recommend this TV for a gamer who can't press "pause" when this happens, like if you are playing a multiplayer online game). The 10-15 minute reboots, maybe once every two weeks. If you can handle that, the TV has very good picture quality, and fit very well on top of a tall dresser that is 42" wide. No wall mount included. Legs can be easily removed if you have a wall mount already. Usually these restarts happen within 10-15 minutes of powering it on, but once in a while, you can be watching TV for hours, be really into a sports event, and...suddenly, there's an Insignia logo in place of the great play you were about to see, and now will have to look up on YouTube. This is why I replaced the TV after just 16 months -- it was frustrating to me. But if you're okay with this, or know how to fix it, or have a friend that you like a *little bit* that you feel obligated to get a gift for...this could be the TV for you. Cable box and compact DVD/Blu-Ray player fit comfortably in the space between the TV and the surface -- your experience may vary based on the size of your cable/satellite box and/or DVD/Blu-Ray player (actual under-TV clearance: 2" on the left and right of center, 1½" at the center where the LED light and remote control sensor are located). Has original remote, and the legs are still attached. All settings have been restored to factory default. For inputs, see images. To clarify dimensions: TV itself is 3½" deep (9½" if you include the legs), 34½" wide (if you have limited space on your flat surface, a surface 27" wide would accommodate the legs with the TV hanging just over the sides), and 22" high (with legs -- 20 5/8" high without legs). As far as when this sale (or barter, if you've got something you think I might want -- I'm certainly open to negotiations) can happen -- I work in a local casino, and cannot be seen on camera accepting cash when I'm at work since I'm a manager who is ineligible for tips, and a transaction like this could be seen as taking a tip if it happened while I am at work. I work from 3pm-11pm Friday through Tuesday. I would be available after 11:00pm any of those days (before work, I sleep until it's time to get ready for work -- if you work out a 12pm-1pm meeting in advance, I can adjust my sleep schedule for that day). Wednesdays and Thursdays, I am free whenever works for you (this includes today, Thanksgiving). Given the problems that the TV has with restarting, I will accept offers. The $50 list price is not firm. I will say, though, that if I tell you we have a deal, we have a deal. If I get a higher offer while you're on your way, I'm going to honor our deal. If I accept your offer, that acceptance is firm and not going to change, even if I get a higher offer after the fact. I absolutely guarantee that you won't get a call on the way to my house telling you that the deal is off if I agreed to it. That's on me, not you. But if my phone is ringing off the hook (I know, wishful thinking) and people are outbidding each other, I'll keep you all informed as to the most recent deal. Again...this is Craigslist, and I live in a relatively small community, so...what I actually expect is for one person to call (if I'm lucky), offer a price, and then for me to accept that price and you take the TV away and give it to someone you sort of like, but don't like as much as you like [insert favorite food/music/movie/vacation destination here]. And again, I'm not against a barter if you have something cool that you no longer want. Either way, it beats me having to pay to have the TV recycled...especially when it works (most of the time) and has just about as many bells and whistles as the TV I just bought.

If someone actually pays the $50 asking price, I’d be shocked (though the TV does, honestly, work as well as it did out of the box -- it just sucked out of the box but I disclosed that so I wouldn’t feel any guilt), but...the fact that I said “If I get a higher offer while you’re on your way, I’m going to honor our deal” (and not be greedy and go for a higher offer from someone who may call 20 minutes later) might get me some takers. I’ve never sold on Craigslist before, although I helped my parents sell a lawnmower so I’m not a TOTAL newb). but...the promise of “I know I said we had a deal, but someone else just offered $10 more, do you want to match/beat it?” seems like such a slimeball move that.

I don’t want to go there. I’m not a used car salesman. I’m just looking to pawn a mostly-working (but not without problems) TV off on someone else, after being honest with the TV’s pluses and minuses, so I don’t have to pay to have it recycled. Let someone else have my lemon TV -- as long as they have had the chance to see that it’s a lemon before they drop some money on it (honestly, I’d be THRILLED if I got $20 of my $50 asking price...I don’t know Craigslist well, but even getting $20 would be worth saying no when Best Buy said they’d haul my old TV away -- which they sold me -- if I paid them $15.

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kira-aub · 8 years ago

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It has been (regrettably) yet again over a month since I’ve done a life update. In the time that I’ve been away, spring break started and ended and we’re getting into the nitty-gritty of our final projects. Well. Some of us are. Before I get into it, I want to point your attention to my cute-ass DOGGO. We had an illustration fair for the BA Illustration students and I bought loads of lovely prints and buttons, but my favorite of ALL is a 1£ commission of my dog Maya from one of the lovely artists. A few of them were waiting at a table taking commissions and I found her other work of her own dog that I just adored and so I wanted her to sign that one. Apparently she was really touched because she wanted to talk to me about it. I just really like to know who the artists of my favorite pieces are. Anyways, she did this lovely illustration in about 10-20 minutes and I nearly cried I was so happy. I couldn’t in my heart give her only 1£ for it so I gave her 5 because she deserves that and much more. She was really shocked when I told her to keep the change, I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look on her face. I can’t wait to find a frame for it, because this illustration is one of my favorite things and I will treasure it forever.

And now, onto the less nice stuff...

Over spring break I tried my best to get work done, but I fell into a relapse of my undiagnosed chronic illness. With headaches, fatigue, and joint pain, it made it pretty much impossible to work longer than 10 minutes at a time. My concentration was absolutely stunted and it was really distressing knowing how much work I needed to get done. I had a headache so bad that I had to wear sunglasses indoors because the light bothered my eyes so much. And some days I had trouble even getting out of bed. It was definitely lonely, after everyone left to go home there were only really 3 of us in the flat and I spent most of my time in my room asleep. I definitely think I work better when I am around people, but it’s difficult to be around people when I have visible signs that I am ill.

A week in and still barely able to work I decided to go to the doctor again about it. I get nervous going to the doctor anyways, always worried that they will consider me a hypochondriac or dismiss my symptoms. But the GP I went to was incredibly kind and looked very worried. Sadly, I’m not registered with the NHS for a GP so I had to go to a private doctor, meaning I had to pay out of pocket. I don’t spend much extra money, so I don’t mind using the leftovers of my loan on my health. I had 6 blood tests done, the results of which I’m still waiting for, and my doctor referred me to a rheumatologist, which I’m going to tomorrow morning. My GP thinks I may have an autoimmune condition, which would make sense, but I would like to be sure that whatever it is, it’s not degenerative, because it would be heartbreaking to find out that I have a disease in my joints that’s just going to get worse, because that would make my dream of being an animator that much more difficult. Only time will tell, but hopefully I will get an answer soon.

I’m trying to take my health problems in good stride, but it really is difficult sometimes, being a young person with so many problems, I would really like a break. Not only for me, but for my family. I hate to see my mom upset because she can’t be there for me, but just being able to talk to her about it is really helpful. Same with Nicole, the few times we do hang out when our schedules align, it’s magical and lifting for both of our spirits to just vent about whatever is eating away at us and support each other.

I’m happy with what I have been able to produce so far (this is one of my layouts), but I really hope that I will be able to finish in the time that I am given. Our deadline is May 3rd, but because of my circumstances with my illness, I was approved for my mitigation claim and have until the 24th to finish, though personally I am going to shoot for the 18th. I’m glad that I get the extra time, I just hope I can put it to good use! I’m feeling slightly better than before but there’s still a lot of stuff to do, but I can’t wait to see what it turns out to be!

#uni adventures #life update #if i keep on with this trend by this time next month i will be done #really hope i can get it done in time because i love this project with all my heart and want to do well #lets do it.#foundation year

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morrisbrokaw · 6 years ago

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The Breakup that Made me Realize, Wherever I am is Home.

I’ll start off by saying this is a very personal journey that I’d like to share with you. It’s a story about me, the man I thought was the love of my life and the lessons I’ve learned over the course of the last few months. For the sake of privacy, I’ve decided to leave out his name. Those of you who know will know, those of you who don’t, don’t need to.

This is a story of big love – the kind of love you read about or see in movies. It’s a story about betrayal. Most importantly, it’s a story about a woman who has felt metaphorically homeless all of her life. Continuously searching for something outside of herself in an effort to find peace or understanding. This is a story about that woman finally coming home.

For most of my life, I’ve felt a disconnect with the idea of having a home. To say I’ve moved a lot would be an understatement. As an adult, as a child – I’m 30 and through the course of my life, I’ve lived in 4 different states in over 20 houses. I guess you could say I’ve always felt some sort of homeless – like I’ve always been searching for something outside of myself, trying to improve my life with the things or people around me. Moving from place to place because I always felt squirmy, like something wasn’t right or it could be better. I have most definitely leveled up my life every year and I have no doubt that has something to do with said squirmy-ness and my desire for bigger and better things.

In the last two years, I was finally feeling like I could settle down. I met a man (though now I would most definitely refer to him as a boy), we fell in love – we moved in together after 8 months, got a puppy at 10 months, I had never been surer of anything in my life. I really felt like I had finally found a home. Fast forward two years later and that home was ripped away from me. Almost three months ago, we broke up and since then I have been in the process of moving across the country. It’s been a pretty wild ride, and that’s putting it lightly.

It was in October of 2016, I was at Lake Tahoe visiting my sister. I opened up my Instagram to see a message (aka a DM) from a cute boy – he asked if we’d met before and if we hadn’t would I be open to grabbing a drink sometime. When I got back to Minnesota we went on our first date together, we both showed up in all black, ordered whiskey on the rocks and that was it – we were stuck like glue. Cue falling in love, moving in together and getting a puppy. It was the kind of big love that everyone hopes and dreams for – we were so sure of each other. It all happened very fast and I loved him with everything I had. We built a life, and I was so ready for a life with him – I had finally found my home.

There were no signs, I had zero warning. We were sitting in the bedroom chatting about our days and I asked him what was wrong. He was about to start a new job so I figured it would be stress related. Initially, he didn’t say anything – “I’m fine, nothing’s wrong at all”. We laid down for bed, shut the light off and said goodnight – I couldn’t shake the way he was looking at me before we got into bed. Something in his eyes had changed. As we laid there in the dark, I asked “are you sure there’s nothing wrong?” he replied “I don’t want to talk about it right now” – and from there, everything started unraveling. He wasn’t happy, he hadn’t been happy, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to continue to pursue a relationship with me at this point in time. Over the course of the next four days, we talked it out, took time to think about it and gave each other space. In the end, that was it – it was over. I kept feeling this sense of displacement – like time and space weren’t cohesive anymore, they no longer moved as one. As the words came out of my mouth I would hear them almost as if someone else was saying it: “**** and I are breaking up” – and there I was, homeless again.

When everything was official I made the decision that in 10 days I would be packing up my car, taking the dog, and moving out West. I wasn’t exactly sure where I would end up, all I knew was I couldn’t stay. I couldn’t be in the same city anymore. August 24th I drove 13 hours by myself to Denver; August 26th I drove 16 hours with my mom to Reno where I stayed with my sister and her husband for a month and a half and on October 15th I headed towards my final destination and drove 9 hours by myself to Portland. 2,500 miles, 63 days, 38 hours in the car and 3 different beds – a whole other level of homeless. It has been an adventure, to say the least. It’s been incredibly difficult at times, and overwhelmingly freeing at others. The quote “it was the best of times and the worst of times” has never been more relevant in my life.

I’ve been sad, angry, confused, lost – mourning the companionship I thought I had. All the while trying to adjust to living on the road and being away from friends and all things familiar. After I left we talked about ‘hope’ for a future to a certain extent. We still, even as I’m writing this, haven’t gone a full week without some sort of communication, no matter how unhealthy it’s been. For some reason, I just couldn’t let it go. I felt like it was all so random, so out of the blue – none of it made sense. There had to be something more. I was digging, trying to figure it out – and for a while I felt like I was going crazy, making things up in my head. A few days ago I finally got the courage to reach out to a girl who I thought he may have been in contact with before we broke up. She was very open and honest with me. He had slid into her DM’s in mid-July while he and I were very much still together. He asked if they had met before and since they hadn’t, if she’d be open to changing that (sound familiar?). He sent her videos of our dog, talked about getting together and proceeded to pursue an emotional relationship with this woman.

I was at the dog park when she sent me the screenshots of their conversations. I started hyperventilating and fell to the ground, crying. Some very nice people at the park came over to make sure I was alright. She said he took her on a date on August 24th – the same day that I drove to Denver. That morning he helped me pack up the car, hugged me, kissed me goodbye and told me he loved me. Twelve hours later he was on a date with her, something he had been planning before we even broke up. This was the tip of the iceberg. It turns out he had been lying to me about a lot of things. All of the women I spoke with were very forthcoming, honest and supportive. It was a relief and oddly enough I’ve found comfort in their words over the last week.

I keep replaying moments in my head. Moments where I was blissfully unaware of what was going on. The morning after he met her for the first time I took Finn, our dog, for a walk. He had been out late so I wanted to let him sleep in. While I was walking Finn, he was laying in our bed texting her, telling her about what he and I (obviously leaving me out of the picture) were going to do that day. Gym, dog park, brunch and then off to a soft launch party for a friends clothing line. He mentioned he wanted to make plans to “lounge and go to the dog park” with her one day soon. I was looking back at photos and videos on my phone from around that time and came across a video of us in the car on the way to that launch party. In the video, I was dancing and being goofy and turned the camera towards him. I watched it probably twenty times before I deleted it. The look in his eyes will haunt me forever – I don’t know how I didn’t see it.

I know that whatever happened between him, her and whoever else he was doing this with wasn’t the reason why we broke up. I get that. This didn’t happen out of the blue for him, it wasn’t random and there really wasn’t anything beyond the fact that something changed in him over time. He wasn’t happy and he was doing these things because he wasn’t happy. Hell, looking back, I wasn’t happy – or at least I wasn’t realizing my full potential and living the most fulfilling life that I could have been. For me, it wasn’t the relationship, it was just where I was at personally. Relationships have ups and downs and at the end of the day, it’s really a business partnership. Some days you need to choose to love the other person – sometimes you need to love the other person enough to recognize what they are going through, reach in and pull out that badass human you initially fell in love with. And yeah, sometimes you need to walk away.

It’s okay to love as hard as we did and not have it work out. It’s okay to not be happy in a relationship. It’s okay if you fall out of love – that happens. It doesn’t give someone permission to do the things that he did. No one deserves that. What we had, or what I thought we had didn’t deserve that. It’s not even simply the events that transpired, it’s the way he handled the whole thing since the day I drove away from Minnesota. I don’t think I’ve ever been so wronged, so betrayed. One of my best friends asked, “have you ever been f**ked over like this before?” I said no and she said “well good, you got it out of your system and hopefully, it won’t happen again”. She’s right – it won’t. I’ll no longer be looking for a home outside of myself – whether that’s in an actual physical home, a boy, other people or relationships. I’m not saying I’ll never trust or love again, because I will – I’m not going to let him take that from me too. What I’m saying is that this journey has taught me that I am all I ever need to be happy and to feel at home; I don’t need to look outside of myself anymore – wherever I am is home.

Regardless of everything that happened, there are three things I will specifically thank him for: 1. helping me raise Finn – lord knows I couldn’t have done that by myself. 2. finally inspiring me to move to Portland because I’ve been talking about it for years and 3. helping me to realize how significant female companionship is and how much we need to be there for each other in this upside down world we live in. Us girls, we gotta stick together.

We (Finn and I) are settling in out in Portland, loving it so far and finally starting to feel at peace. I’m ready for the next chapter of my life. All in all, it ended just like it started: in the DM’s – fast, furious and dramatic – but at least I’m not homeless anymore.

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Katie Weed is an anthropologist and philosopher at heart. A freelance writer, brand manager and social media strategist by day. She’s usually one of three places: outside, making snacks or at the gym. She resides in Portland, Oregon with her 15 plants and her dog, Finn.

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