#hopefully bc u never know but isnt it crazy

[marinatedegg]

my last first day of class…!

[runningfrom2am]

congratulations on 500 !! u deserve it all ur writing is literally perfect

🪐 - this might be difficult (bc the song isnt by taylor swift) but can u write something about rafe cameron based on the song “goodbye kiss” by ‘kasabian’ ? pls be angsty as it’s such a sad and beautiful song <33

omg thank you for requesting this!! i’ve never heard that song before but now i’m listening to it ON REPEAT it is so good omg!!

(ps: sorry i’m advance for the heartbreak you’re about to witness and i hope this is what you wanted!!)

Goodbye Kiss (r.c)

pairing: rafe x reader

wc: 1.1k

Rafe had known for some time now that your relationship was volatile and dangerous. He knew that after you both helped his father drop the body of their pilot into the ocean with the earliest part of the sunrise washing over them, everything was getting too crazy. What scared him the most was the way you didn't ask questions, you helped without hesitating- and he stared at you as you nodded intently, listening to who you imagined would one day be your father-in-law while he asked the two of you to find and dispose of the gun Rafe had used to kill the sheriff. The morning breeze brushed through your hair as it fell messily out of the braids you'd put in the night before, and the side of your face was bathed in the light of the sunrise. And as he watched you wipe the stray blood off your skin with a rag, Rafe realized he had never loved you more.

You had been at his side when he shot his sister in the Bahamas, and you had watched with a straight face as they drove off with the gold- Rafe could see in your eyes that you would never tell a soul. He trusted you endlessly, and you trusted him. Rafe was starting to see that this adventure you were on could only end in one of you facing a similar fate, in the name of money, and in the name of love. You would die for each other in a heartbeat. You were perfect for each other, in the most terrifying possible way.

"I'm okay, Rafe- I'm just... I don't know, a little burnt out." You sigh, rubbing your forehead as you stand in the driveway. "I'll get over it. It's fine."

"I get that, I just- it's so... everything is so crazy I just don't know what to do." He replies quietly.

You look at him in confusion. Ward got the gold back, and you were back home safe and sound. It was all over. "What is there left?" You settle on.

"I killed someone, Y/N/N!" Rafe snaps, throwing down the blood-stained rag he was now using to wipe down his bike. "I killed someone, my dad did too, and I shot my sister and you don't give a shit! What is wrong with us?"

Your eyes widen in shock, unsure what to say. "I- I... of course I care, Rafe. What did you want me to do? Run to the cops and get you locked up for life? I'm not doing that, so what choice did I have other than to help?"

Rafe sighs as he looks around. "That's not the point- obviously I didn't want that." He shakes his head. "I just- I don't know, our lives are just so fucked now. I never wanted this."

"Okay, it's okay..." You hold your hands out to him, grasping his in your own. "We'll get you help, like you wanted. We'll get on a better path, it's over now. Yeah?"

Rafe looks down at your small hands wrapped around his, and the healing bruises that adorn your skin in a hue of yellow and green. "I don't know that it is." He shakes his head.

"Sure it is." You smile hopefully. His eyes glide up to your face, and his breath hitches in his throat as he looks at your expression. You have this aura of innocence around you, like you haven't done horrible things for him and his family. Things he would never expect of you, but this lifestyle he dragged you into has changed you enough to allow for that kind of recklessness. You're the kindest person he has ever known, if he truly loved you, how could he turn you into something you were never meant to be?

He shakes his head again. "Maybe it's time for us to break up, Y/N." He says, before he can fully think it through. He trusts his impulses fully, and this is what he feels is right. For you, especially.

Your face falls and you loosen your hold on his hands. "What? Why..? I'm not upset with you- if that's what you think, I don't care what you've done, Rafe-" You plead, hoping he doesn't mean it.

"No, no I know you don't." He assures you. "I just- this can't end well. Open your eyes. Seriously, this can only end with one of us dead. And I won't let it be you."

You stare at him in shock, not sure what to say. "I... I only care about you..." You whisper, lip wobbling as you look up at your boyfriend. The love of your life- you were so sure he was the only guy for you. How could he do this?

"Don't cry, baby. Please, don't.." Rafe shakes his head at you, squeezing your hands. He doesn't want to watch you cry, he doesn't want to hurt you, but it's for the best. He can hardly remember the last time things were normal for you. The last time you went out for dinner or watched a movie together. It wasn't fair.

"I just don’t understand.” You reply, tears welling up in your eyes as you look up at him.

“I know.. I know. I just have to do what I have to for my family, be the man I ought to be, this whole gold situation has got me going insane and that isn’t fair to you.” Rafe explains, trying to keep a strong front as he drops your hands.

You instantly wrap your arms around his waist, hugging him and burying your face in his chest. “Okay…” You agree hesitantly. You know Rafe will do anything for his family, he’s always fighting for his dads approval, and if that is what he feels is more important right now, you will let him make that decision. No words could save this.

He hugs you back, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he feels you shake in his arms. It’s his fault, all of it. You pull away after a moment and quickly wipe your eyes. “I should probably go home, then…” You mumble, avoiding his eyes now as you pick your bag up off the ground, starting to walk away.

“Y/N?” Rafe calls after you, his voice shaky as you head toward your car, which had looked so normal in their driveway for over a year now. You look up at him, fighting back a sob as you see him standing there. He doesn’t look like the boy you fell in love with anymore. You didn’t see him change. When did he change?

“I hope that someday we’ll meet again.”

You nod softly at this, unable to speak as you get in your car and quickly drive away, tears streaming down your cheeks. You had to go your way, and Rafe has to go his.

taglist: @bookishbabyyy @madelynie , @whore-4-drewstarkey, @slut4drudy , @winterrrnight , @totalswag , @sadfury @fullfledgedemo @rafemotherfuckingcameron , @urfaveluvr , @chenslucy , @hxnnah-397 , @s-we-e-t-t-ea , @tahliac11 , @ragingsammie , @ietss , @dee127

[xshimaeraxx]

being cupioromantic sucks dick, and here’s why (says i, a cupioromantic)

Before ya’ll shout at me in the tags n shit: i am, myself, cupioromantic. I am saying this bc this is how i, personally feel abt being cupioromantic, and why its so goddamned depressing (at least for me).

Being cupioromantic, for me, is like a constant battle of wills, almost. It contradicts itself, over and over and over, even though i know- logically, that being cupioromantic isnt a contradiction. It just sucks ass.

for anyone who doesnt know: cupioromantic is (quoting google here btw) “describ[ing] a person who wants a romantic relationship, but does not feel romantic attraction”. Which, um, FUCKING SUCKS.

bc i aint never gonna have a partner. The fact im aegosexual (or js ace or acespec in more simple terms) js makes that harder, bc i aint never gonna have sex, least not voluntarily. So i cant feel for my partner romantically, which is what like 80% of the world is looking for in a partner, and i cant have sex either, bc i js dont feel that way for ppl. And i never will. (Refering to both sexual attraction & romantic attraction here btw).

so that takes out all my options. Bc i can love people, yes, but not in the way that (most, nearly all) ppl want. But i dont wanna be alone til the end of my days, so where does that leave me?

bc, sure, ill have friends & family & hopefully a cat or two bc, yes, i am a crazy cat person. I actually currently have a cat rn, actually. (His names Bear, hes a black cat & i love him w/ all my heart, but still, my point stands). But i want a partner.

i want someone to kiss, and cuddle, and hug, and love. But bc of what i am, a afab human-person thing whos only social life & interaction other then my parents is via online spaces bc due to my lifestyle i js dont have any other options, an aroace who cant like-like some1 like that and who doesnt want to have sex and doesnt feel sexually for irl people and who never will

i js. I cant have it. Unless i luck out & meet a fellow aro, or ace, or aroace out in the wild, which is- extremely unlikely, tbqh, i wont ever have it. And thats not even the worst part, bc being cupioromantic is, believe it or not, a double-fucking-edged sword.

The few times ive tried to explain to my online friends what i want in a partner, ive constantly felt like im invalidating myself, and it fucking sucks. Bc what aro wants to kiss, and hug, and cuddle and what proper aro wants a romantic relationship??

i dont know how to explain it in words, tbqh, so ill do it via example.

so, fun fact! I only recently found out that im cupioromantic. Oh, i knew i was aro, certainly, but not cupioromantic bc i didnt know it was a thing. That like. Actually existed. (And by recently i mean last-fucking-night)

previously i hadnt thought abt it much tbqh. Then, my friend brought up the subject of love. I said, “i mean realistically no one will ever love me”. My friend responded w/ a gif that flashed the word “lie!” (LMFAO).

to summarise, what happened was i tried (and failed) to properly explain what i wanted in a partner w/o invalidating myself (and failed, im pretty sure). Then, my friend said “so cupioromantic?”

I looked it up, andddd went “oh. Oh fuck dear lord this is me. Well, im fucked.” Now i didnt say that, of course, but, yea, u get the gist of it lmao.

basically, the whole point of this example is that being cupioromantic and not invalidating urself bc u js dont think ur vaild is. Hard. Very very hard.

Now, i am in no way saying cupioromantic is not a vaild identity/romantic orientation, bc it completely is. This whole post is js me trying to deal w/ the fact i dont think im vaild when i know, logically that i am. My brain is js- having a hard time accepting that, ig.

ANYGAYS imma end this whole rant thingy now b4 this ends up being 2x longer then it already is. Gn ya’ll! (Yes i do know it is 7:35 am as i am writing this shut-)

[autisticiyami]

crazy? i was crazy once. they locked me in a room. a rubber room. a rubber room filled with rats. th

LISTEN TO MY AUTISM-INDUCED HEADCANONS BOY. i think about him a criminal amount i have his entire life planned out to fit with that ososan repainted idea i never did anything with that goes along with 80skun. do u see the vision. no? well ill show u. welcom to my freaking twisted evil mind. rant incoming.

also im gona be hopefully updating this semi-frequently as i draw more stuff and actually feel like explaining stuff. this post will be my Iyami Autism Diary now.

i dont have specific sources on any of these rn bc im writing this on my computer and also bc its probably something i saw once and didnt bother to save or anthing so. bear with me here.

-baby iyami. loveless child. born by a mother who always knew she would be better off without him and sharing the sibling moniker with an unironic sociopath older brother. emotionally neglected and naturally socially inept due to autism, along with like.. looking like that. you know he was torn to shred by everyone. japanese kids are RUTHLESS his entire elementary/middle school experience was getting his face dragged across the concrete and his lunch money stolen. i imagine he starts to become rlly jaded and outwardly mean as a defense mechanism in like 2nd/3rd grade, finally realizing that this shit isnt all sunshines and rainbows lil bro and that no one likes him. he went to school with both honkan and kaoru, honkan he would always get into scuffles with but kaoru was like the only kid that ever genuinely attempted to be nice to iyami. read: attempted. because iyami has bpd at the ripe age of 7 and a half and screams at him whenever hes around for no reason other than that hes really scared of him being a genuinely kind person. hes a fucked up kid in a fucked up situation surrounded by nothing but apathy and misunderstanding of how he works and thinks and wants. the scar on his face comes from an incident with his older brother who i imagine got so mad at him one time that he chased iyami around with a knife threatening to slit his throat open. luckily (or probably more unluckily) he just sliced the side of his face open. that was the first and last time that iyamis mother actually worried for him. and by "worried" i mean get mad at both of them for fucking around like that and then not taking iyami to get stitches because "he'd be fine."

-iyami's highschool experience is. slightly less horrific. mostly because hes kinda just accepted that everyone in the whole world hates him and at some point realized he should just live out of spite to piss everyone else off. he never really had any career dreams mostly since the only career he realistically could have was wage slave in the city, which would be like sending him to death row for him. due to his autism and prolonged abuse from all sides, hes become kind of an expert at knowing how people work, though he doesnt necessarily understand any of it. he realizes that he would much rather be a backpeddler on the streets than a corporate slave, so when hes kicked out at like 16/17 for being literally just a curseon his mother at that point hes right out there trying to charm his way into any way to make money. first couple years were difficult, i imagine he just. didnt finish highschool due to being homeless immediately. he always had a kickass sense of style though, and maybe bc he was younger he managed to pull off charm much more successfully. honestly i dont have too many any specific ideas ab this era sowwy... bc it kinda just exists as "the part before chibita" which speaking of

-his twenties and thirties is spent like the exact same way. like the autism is strong in this one hes very content with just being the worst. but thats only because he literally sees no other way for him to live because its all hes been offered to do by life. quite fucked up! but that leaves him with a great optimism and positive "nothing in life matters!!!!" attitude. i actuallyyyyy dont know exactly how to span this next part.... but i was thinking that he met chibita when the kid was around 6 and iyami was 30. iyami just kind of... adopts him? as a weird sort of nephew. but at the same time iyami is in a perpetual state of childishness so sometimes chibita is like the parent/uncle to iyami. theyre so strange. but speaking of iyamis childishness Yeah theres some side effects of prolonged neglect and trauma since first memory surprisingly!! iyami kind of aged backwards, having to mature early to try and protect himself and keep some level of sanity, he was never really treated like a kid especially not by mother and brother or even other kids. now that he's an actual adult his brain has sort of flipped over, now stuck in a weird area of feigning immaturity in every situation that isnt immediately "life-threatening" in his eyes. all that to say that iyami is agere and is basically regressed somewhat at all times and it just varies depending on the situation.

but yeah this era. a couple years after meeting chibita he ships himself off to the city suddenly hoping to be able to make something happen there Kind of an early mid-life crisis moment. and boy it is not great! this part is where i dump the rest of trauma on him but you dont get to hear that. something something tougou's crime ring. after like a bit under a year he ends up coming back and... HOLY FUCK IS THAT A REFERENCE TO THE FIRST EPISODE OF OSOMATSU-KUN 1988??? you bet your sorry ass it is. im literally so smart they shouldve hired me to make ososan dude.

-osokun '88 era happens ig?? his old situationship behated kaoru is a cop now apparently and he's stationed right in iyami territory. quite awkward! kaoru doesnt particularly like him 1 because like. cop/criminal dichotomy first of all. 2 because iyami was a cunt to him and honkan for seemingly no reason their entire childhood and 3 iyami seems to have a really weird complex of being mean and hating kaoru currently but also obviously going out of his way to get in kaoru's way. quite immature! i explained why that is though. kaoru in his infinite sweetnes though eventually just kinda feels bad for the dude because its kinda just pathetic at this point and also because he DOES know that iyami is actually a super cute sweet guy because there was one (1) time where as a kid iyami let his guard down around kaoru and played with him at his house after school just to be completely ripped to shreds literally and figuaratively by his classmates the next day when kaoru was acting super friendly with him and iyami just kinda blamed him for it for like 20 years. VERY pathetic! but he was like 9 dude. kaoru understands this and kinda just... lets iyami wreak havoc more than he would other people partly bc he still thinks hes pretty silly.

i have a whole big episode idea of the two getting together and probably hundreds of headcanons and ideas about the two together but tbh?? im gonna spare you and keep it as paraphrased as i can manage for both of our sanities. but watch me go back and edit this post or make a new one just infodumping ab everything about them.

but like yeah ig events happen. hey do u remember iyami's "daughter" who is actually his niece because there is no fucking way in any reality that this guy has procreated?? well she comes in sometime around here becasue her father (still an untreated aspd) kind of doesnt give a shit and neither does her whore mother and they choose to dump their kid off with uncle iyami for the summers now. yay!! i also have a lot of headcanons and stuff ab her (her name is hiyori btw) but thats for another post.

iyami's family turns into basically him, his husband, and his two (sometimes three) (some not actually legit) (and one is gone when it isnt the summer) neicephews. isnt that awsome??? i cry and scream and throw up just thinking about it. sometimes iyami is the nephew but thats awesome. sometimes a family can be some gay man and an orphan that is his husband's nephew and his husband's actual niece, his husband's lesbian best friend that is basically an aunt at this point, and his husband who is sometimes also his nephew/child because of cptsd and they are all autistic. truly beautiful stuff.

and yeah thats. that. like i said i'll be updating this with better explanations of stuff and hopefully actual art But this works for now!!!! no one wanted this but the world got it anyway. you can thank me later.

[strxnged]

I think definitely the world would be a better place if we got married what do you say

OKAY FIRST OF ALL I LOVE YOU LOTS I think that was hopefully already clear BUT. you are so deserving of love and you're literally a ray of the prettiest most reflectiviest most beautiful ethereal light ever okay like u GLEAM AND GLOW AND LET YOUR POWER SHINE ALL AT ONCE!! DANG!! THAT'S PRETTY COOL LOVE

you also. do not have to be so hard on yourself. there are so many places to be at so many times so SLOW DOWN PLS you're doing the best u can and I!! am so proud of you for doing so!! life is hella rough but you're powering through it like a champ SO PLEASE TAKE TIME TO APPRECIATE YOURSELF BC HOLY SMOKES you've dealt with so much alone and now I am very glad you have people to help you!!! AND DEFINITELY KEEP ASKING FOR HELP THERE'S NOTHING WRONG IN DOING THAT BECAause yOU DESERVE TO BE SUPPORTED,🫶🫶🫶🕺🕺🕺

(warning talks of religion ahead 👍) and okay my life has been SO CRAZY BUT WE'RE GETTIN THRU IT??? UHHH WOWOWOW I joined praise team again after avoiding church for like six months 😭😭🫶🫶 and IT IS. DEFINITELY SO HELPFUL because even though I'm still working on it there is something so easing about knowing God's got your back do u feel me?? IM STILL WORKING A LOT ON FINDING MYSELF AFTER THE IDENTITY CRISIS OF 2021-2022 BUT IM still trying out different things and I've learned that is so totally okay !!

AAEJDRJH how about you dude?? I am still praying for you lots and I care about you sm so if you 💥 EVER need anything let me know okay I love you so much

ANYWAYS MY DUDE MAKE SURE TO DRINK A TON OF WATER AND EAT GOOD FOOD AND GET REST (emphasis on get rest sleep before 1 am bro (affectionate)) you're doing so so SO AMAZING fighting through all of your struggles and I hope you keep on fighting YOU'RE DOING SO GREAT BC LOOK AT U GO!! UR STILL ALIVE!! YELL HEAH!! 🫶🫶🕺🕺🕺🕺

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OKAY PLEASE GET REST AND REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE WORTH IT YOU ARE SO LOVED MWAHHHDHXA

lenn my darling... look, you've written five paragraphs worrying for me and one vaguely concerned with yourself.... DON'T BE A HYPOCRITE, OKAY?? i love to see you sharing the love you have but i hope it's coming from a place of knowing how loved you ARE. so ??? i appreciate you a ton man

the identity crises... yeees, yesssss, we been there. of course it will never quite end, but that's really what teenage years are all about. like, scientifically. we are figurin it out in adolescence.

however, even on days when you don't know who you are, on days where you can't seem to get yourself to fit into anything you thought you should be able to? your #1 identity, beyond anything else, is someone who is loved. ISNT THAT WILD. THATS WHO YOU ARE. THAT IS WHO YOU WERE MADE TO BE. YOU WERE HASHTAG MADE TO BE LOVED. and so APPRECIATE YOURSELF TOO?? OKAY?? and take lots of deep breaths and smile and gosh i know you're working yourself really hard right now!! school be like that!! but your best is enough ofc and dont ever forget that.

[hyunverse]

you’re so right hyunjin would 100% write you literally anything you like or would just come up w smth new whenever he felt like it. also would def just give you artwork he made for you 🥲. imagine him giving you little pieces of your fave animal or his fave pic of you guys together </////3 god id be in shambles. also i did not realize malaysia was that hot ?? i couldn’t do it i hateeeeee the heat. but then i also hate the cold. like i’ll literally be going to school in -20C weather where i live😭😭 it’s so awful. so spring and fall are 100% my times of the year like i’m always happiest at those times bc the weather is just normal

so true men are just men. i think we got lucky w our skz’s zodiacs. bc changbin is the only leo man that can exist okay 🙅🏻‍♀️ he is nothing like these average ass horrible leo men. he’s bias wrecking me so hard lately like he’s literally fighting w hyunjin rn for the spot. i can hear them bickering in the back of my head 😒😒

ALSO RIGHT i can’t help but baby him 💔💔 same w seungmin i just want to squish his cheeks 💔💔💔 manifesting seungmo forehead rn 🙏🏼. SO IMPRESSED W THE BOWLING BTW THATS AWESOMEEEE. i hope you had sm fun 😋 i’ll have to try it again soon and lyk. most likely i’ll be shit but it’s worth a try. my day was not the besttttt i’m rly stressed out and have a ton of crap going on but seeing ur response made my day ^_^. i saw it and blushed and squealed not even kidding. ur the sweetest you always put a smile on my face. i hope your day is good today :)) i think it’s like 6 am there rn which is so funny bc i’m about to eat dinner. like it’s cool to think we’re doing our opposite routines at the same time. does that even make sense ?? 😭 this is what i mean w the rambling i’m just 💔 LOL

alsoooooo i’m gonna reply to your other post here too and say i’m so glad you moved on from those pos’s. relationships suck and that’s why i read fanfics like yours to fill the void 🙏🏼. i’m jk i’ve also moved on but im a lover girl at heart so not being in a relationship is legit torture. like i just want to talk to someone and be loved and like go on dates 🙄 KISSES AND HUGS FOR U THO you deserve all of them bae <33

- 🐈‍⬛ (spammed again omg what is my PROBLEM ?? you bring out the talk in me and most ppl can’t do that <33 i can’t help it ur too kind)

hyun <3 painting u <3 with a fond smile in his face <3 they don’t make men like him anymore!

malaysia IS hot bae. . . it’s located at the equator </3 spring and fall seems so pretty, especially fall!! like dawggg i wanna be jumping on piles of fallen leaves too mane 😔🙏 dress up cute ‘n stuff. i will be showing up everywhere lookin like rory gilmore 💯 everytime i see an autumn grwm i gotta stop myself from kicking and throwing a tantrum cs i don’t live somewhere with the four seasons 🤸‍♀ -20°C weather is insane i would literally drown myself in boiling water 🧘‍♀

the thought of changjin bickering IS SO FUNNY like those two istg. . . love how hyunjin rejects every single one of changbin’s affections LMAO i always laugh at them. binnie in the samsung ad got the girlies going CRAZY LIKEEEEE. . .

i get the desire to be loved tbh. likeeee feeling loved is so nice but at the same time i feel like i have no mental span for a relationship anymore 💀 i am so busy during the times i am in campus so having a bf wud probably be disastrous for me.

u need to come bowling with me i Will defeat u 💯 LMFAOOO. or maybe you, too, will find out that ure actually a hidden bowling prodigy. u never know ykyk. also yeah timezones are so odd but it is somewhat painfully endearing. . . ? just two people doing opposite routines but still being able to be friends at the same. isnt that so cute omg. i’m sorry your day was crap my love, here i giv u minho pics to hopefully make ur day today better than yesterday’s!!

mwahmwah sending u my love sweetheart <3

[sadshitonmain]

DICEY I S DRUNK

Needdd to write my note before i ctb in a week ish so

Fuck u mom how dare you fucking give up on me. Picking new family and popping out kids like a goddamn pez dispenzer instead of like faking interest in shit i actully enjoy for five mins.

Same goes for dad but extra FUCK you for never visiting when you had the chance and extra extra fuck you for getting sick and losing what little ego you had left so you dont even recognize me anymore. Asshole move.

FUCK YOU EMILY GOD FUCK I LOVED YOU AND I ONLY FUCKING LEFT BC I KNEW I COULDNT STAY AWAY IF YOU EVER CALLED BACK AND IM STILL WAITING FOR IT 6 GODDAMN YEARS LATER. Im sorry too. I wish I'd had the help i needed before we tried to run away. I wish my wife coulda seen me at my best instead of my worst and ill never stop dreaming of a world where at least you're happy -even if itsone without me, Bc as far as i know you're probably dead and its all my fault. It never got better for me but at least im in control and hot now.

I'm sorry Sebastian. JP and FL and Kitsu. For my own good i shoulda stayed out of it. But at least i tried unlike you idiots. At least you had only one dead kid that year, if not for me there'd be two so fuck you. I just wanted to do some good for all my fuckups and i couldnt stand the idwa of another dead qu*er child. I miss you all, I hope missing me eats you alive.

To my new friends.

Skye, plz dont beat urself up over this one,.its my choice. Im not the same as her and you couldnt chamge anything, you just got caught in the crossfire.

Maddy, be smart be safe be yourself. Fuck someone and chase that femboy.

Thylia.. fuck you're the first real person ive met in a decade. I wish id met you sooner. Be strong.

Pip. Make a goddamn choice girl. Either be yourself or play it safe and be miserable. This life is hell and i wouldnt wish it on anyone. You still have a future, just be smart about it. Finish college, chase your passions. Transition quietly, practice looking how you want and move far the fuck away when its safe. Everyone goes through an ugly phase and thats fine. And seriously SERIOUSLY, just chill the fuck out and go with the flow.

No one else is worth mentioning. You all betrayed me. You all said id be nothing but a burnt out worthless fag and then you made that reality not me. I hate you all for it. Hopefully these bottles do me in.

Emi.. Alex.. whatever you go by now, howdy stranger. I'm sorry I'm like this. I'm sorry my ideas abt love and passion and loyalty were so fucked up.. it really was how i was raised and it still really was my fault. There isnt a day that goes by i dont wonder what would have happened had i stuck around for a few more days and let us both cool off. I was completely obsessed and jealous and who could really blame me, I clung to that stupid dream for dear fucking life for years and when i finally had the chance the world literally came crashing down around us. If not for covid, if not for SPDs fucking power trip, if not for how i was raised if not for how broken i was if I had just listened to you and respected you fuck our dream could have come true. I love you. I'll never love anyone else, I've always loved you since the day you were quietly introduced and sat in Mr. Baker's class across the room all those years ago. I knew then and I know now 14 years later that you were always my better half.

I hope eternity is real, I hope I suffer for it. This shitty trailer has been my exile for 4 years and in a week it will be my tomb.

In truth if id had any courage at all id have ended it a long time ago, but im a total goddamn coward even piss drunk on a work night. Im still praying you'll save me but i know it wont happen, it cant happen. I'll never change, I'll always be the crazy ex, always be another person that abused your trust and chased you across the city we were supposed to grow old in. I hate everything i was, and everything i had to be to survive and everything i am now. I don't blame you, i don't even hate you.

You were always right.

I still love you.

Dicey,

(Formerly Lusy, formerly Lyrah)

Fuck you all, i give up

[anne-i-write]

moriarty the patriot headcannons

| requested by anon: “uhhh kinda weird lmao but how would the moriarty bros react to an s/o from the future? (Headcanons) thanks! OwO” |

william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader

word count: 1355

tw: a few swears, if i’m missing any please let me know!

a/n: i’m so sorry that these are coming out so slow please enjoy!

william: 317 words

please

as soon as you wake up he’ll be staring at you intently

“where am i?”

“durham, england, 1880… and in my room”

it takes you like ten minutes to process everything that’s going on because: “i’m dreaming right??? or did i actually shift???

after finally accepting the fact you indeed did not shift and are not dreaming, you finally looked at the man who had stayed silent during your incoherent ramblings

“you seem more awake now, is it alright if i ask a few questions?”

hhh he’s such a gentleman

you both honestly take this whole time shift thing really well

louis definitely walks in on you two and he’s like,,

“who tf are you and how did you get in”

sdjkfhd pls its so funny when you guys converse

his speaking manner is so refined and yours is just,, yours

but he loves it

he thinks its cute

he comes up with a story for you because there were people who were no doubt going to question how you came into his life

and from there you two hit it off really well

accidentally said you two were to be wed during a conversation and the nobles went insane

when you are on the carriage ride back from the party he apologizes for saying something so out of line

“i wouldn’t mind being married to you, william.”

this man always has something to say but THIS

YOU

he wanted to respond with something witty but you just,, existed and made him melt

“let’s go buy a ring tomorrow then.”

asks you questions about the future

only trivial things, never if his plan works in the long term

but judging by the way you talk about your previous life he can tell that everyone is somewhat equal, except for “the dumbass politicians” you speak about

oh did i mention he picks up your swears too LMAO

louis: 459 words

 he’s heading back to his room when you come OUT of his room

“who tf are you, how did you get into this house, and why are you here”

instant kill mode

you think you’re dreaming so you’re like,, ok cool and you tell him most of your life story and he’s like

??????

has never been more dumbfounded in his life

who is this person and what are they wearing and why are they telling me their life story

eventually the rest of the moriarty team gets involved and matters are settled lmao

you all agree that staying in the manor is the best course of action at the moment

louis thinks you’re taking this a little too well so he’s still a little sus of you

like seriously,, the future?? cmon now

the people you’re working for probably made those weird clothes for you

but anyways

you’re helping him clean the house and cook

“this is fun,,, but honestly?? if i have to do this by myself everyday i would cry”

you keep saying this and you know it’s getting annoying for louis but he ISNT TALKING

if you can’t beat em, annoy em

finally gives in

“how did you used to wash clothes in the future?”

and you get this big smile on your face and you start TALKING

you’re so excited that he finally spoke to you

even tho you know you lowkey annoyed him

but you’re talking and louis is like,, huh

you’re talkative, but not annoying at all

you have little stories that make him laugh sometimes

needless to say you both get closer

but it isn’t until one night louis is making rounds around the manor that he passes by your room and hears crying

so he’s worried and he goes into your room

bruh you try pulling that shit where you wipe away your tears and be like “oh i’m okay!”

like,, no u aren’t

louis makes you spill what’s bothering you

“my friends, my family… are they okay? are they looking for me?? they must be so worried”

note that you’ve already been at the moriarty estate for about two months without any word that you can return to your own time

and louis holds you

he teaches you more about the year that you’re currently stuck in and he tries to take your mind off of the bad things

asks william to buy more books to indulge you bc you have some book withdrawals bc “WHAT DO YOU MEAN A TALE FOR THE TIME BEING HASNT BEEN PRINTED YET” followed by a short crying session

he’s a really good boyfriend

you taught him what a boyfriend was and he couldn’t stop thinking about how much society’s view on relationships changed

albert: 579 words

is walking down the streets at night when he sees you barreling down the road in your clothes

you look pretty scathed when you run right into him

“are you alright?”

you’re scared and out of breath but he’s wearing what you can only assume is a uniform of england

he takes you to his place and tries to calm you down

he asks you questions and you tell him everything straight out

you know you look crazy but you couldn’t bring yourself to care

you were just walking back from a friend’s place IN BROAD DAYLIGHT and you felt dizzy and you woke up alone in a dark alleyway

“where are you from?”

you obviously give him your city but he corrects himself

“what year are you from?”

“2019”

doesn’t want to believe you bc you’re all frantic and maybe insane

but your clothes just seem to different for him to brush off the possibility

tells you to sleep it off and gives you his bed

he’s already writing a letter to his brothers that he’s possibly coming back with someone

“ohoho brother albert has a suitor now?”

anyways, albert asks you more questions about your other life as you’re both on the train to durham

albert went out to buy you more fitting clothes before leaving and you couldn’t even repay him

but he tries to get you in a comfortable position so you don’t spiral again

but he’s genuinely nice about it when he finally accepts the fact that you are in fact from the future

funny enough, you both don’t get each others names until you get onto the train

“oh, my name is albert james moriarty”

and you’re briefly like “oh like sherlock’s nemesis” but then you remember that this is only the victorian era

sherlock holmes doesn’t exist, it’s just a coincidence

so you both get to the manor and he introduces you to the moriarty team and this is where you’re like,,

oh my God

this is real and i know the ending

you suddenly want to travel back further in time and never meet them bc they’re all really sweet towards you

and you got attached to them more than you should have

albert notices you’re a little tense so he makes small conversation to get your mind off of things

“i do like to play the piano”

bro

they have a piano delivered to the house to make you feel more comfortable and hopefully keep you occupied

itching and nostalgic (ironic), you play songs from rachmaninoff and joe hisaishi, despite it being from the future

everyone knows chopin so shhh

“that’s beautiful, did you compose that?”

“no, but another composer did, i don’t even think he exists yet”

you’re very adamant on keeping things the same

like,, no i’m not going to tell you how to create a washing machine because i don’t want to mess up the timeline if i do go back to the future

you do get very sad occasionally because you are homesick and being placed in a world where you have only heard stories of is very disorienting

but albert and the boys make up for it

albert always tries to be by your side and if he can get his hands on a piano sheet he’ll buy one for you and see if you already know it

it’s always nice to have them around, but you know the troubles you’ll eventually have to face

moriarty the patriot taglist: @zoehanji

[nikrangdan]

cafeworker!ni-ki

pairing: cafeworker!ni-ki x female reader

genre: fluff, comedy

description: the cashier at the new coffee shop was so adorable you just couldn’t resist visiting just for him

**did not proofread

————

contrary to popular belief, you were NOT a social person

whenever you were around friends and family, you were always the loudest person there

like SHUT UP Y/N!!!!!!

anyways although you were loud, people still enjoyed being around you because you had such a sweet soul and interesting humor

everyone close to you knew that you hated talking to people you didnt know

but to all the strangers? no

they would think you were an outgoing ready-to-meet-new-people extrovert

which was so, so wrong

but ALAS, you had to talk strangers almost everyday living in 2020

(well lets pretend we arent in the middle of a pandemic right now)

moving on......

so you were in high school at the downfall of your existence

you used to have so many friends when you were younger ..now you only have like 3

and those three were always busy (busy making up excuses thats for sure) so you never really hung out with them outside of school

and on one fine evening after school you decided to visit the new cafe 5 minutes from your house

u were really excited because all the cafes were 15 minutes from your house so now u could just walk to this one if u wanted to !!!

but yeah it was in the middle of a small plaza that had cute buildings

you pulled up to the parking lot and was just about to get out the car when u remembered..

u have to talk to the cashier :/

who’s a stranger! even more ://

it was always so weird to you.. whenever you went out you always had someone else order for you because you just hated talking to strangers

you just felt uncomfortable and you couldnt help it

its not like you have never ordered for yourself but you would always prefer not to

and now that you think about it

this is the first time you have gone out by yourself

you did text one of your friends beforehand but they said they “had homework to do”

LIES!!!!

but you really wanted to try the coffee so you just ran with it

time to face your fears!

you opened the glass door to reveal a cute looking cafe, like the ones you’d see in movies

you loved it already

glancing to the cashier you’d have to be talking to—

hold on

you had to do a double take because WOAH.....

the cashier...

he....

wow..

you have never seen a boy like that in your life

you stood there for like 3 seconds before coming to your senses and standing infront of the menu

that was infrONT OF HIM

“hi, what can i get for you?”

HIS VOICE OH MY GOD..!?!?!

“oh um.. can i get a second to .. look..?”

“yeah of course,” he gestured to the menu on the wall above him

hes so nice u almost cried

your eyes shakily traveled up to the chalkboard menu and u began to ‘read’ the options

its like u could feel his eyes on u WTF!!!!

um um um *internally keyboard smashes*

you couldnt even think

the words on the menu were like gibberish

the ONE time u go out by yourself

this had to happen.. of course! someone had it out for you, you were sure of it >:(

picking a random drink you gave him your order

“uh can i have an iced caramel macchiato?”

ITS LIKE YOU CANT SAY A SENTENCE WITHOUT UH OR UM

u cant help but think hes judging you

he looks like that while u are standing there in old sweatpants your dads tshirt

“sure, what size?” he looks into your eyes after putting your order into the machine

god you felt your heart stop

his Eyes..... theyre so beautiful

“oh um regular” you attempted to give a small smile

hopefully it looked like one

“okay that’ll be $5.12.”

you dug out some cash from your bag and handed it to him

he gave u your change and gave u a small smile

“your drink will be out in a minute”

AAAAA

he went :)

he is so CUTE.....?!?!

he looked around your age too

sigh... you knew he was way out of your league though

you were gushing over him but he probably thought you were just another boring customer

while waiting u sat at one of the 2 person tables on your phone

and u IMMEDIATELY went to text your groupchat

‘GUYS’

‘AT THE CAFE NEAR MY HOUSE’

‘CUTEST BOY IVE EVER SEEN EVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE’

‘WTF IM GONNA CRY HOW DOES HE EXIST’

‘WAIT BRB HE S COMIBBG’

you tried to quickly put your phone down without looking suspicious when you saw him walking towards you with a drink in his hand

“here you go, enjoy” he said before swiftly making his way back to the counter and talking to the other worker there

wow... hes so mesmerizing

you’d steal glances at him every now and then while taking sips of your drink

you were sitting there for like 20 minutes before you noticed you finished your drink

you totally forgot you came here to see how good their coffee was

it was good by the way

sadly it was your time to leave

taking one last glance at him, you threw away your empty cup and walked out the door

wow

u cant believe you got to witness the most beautiful human being ever

in your small town?? crazy

you were sitting in your car just thinking

WAIT

U DIDNT EVEN KNOW HIS NAME!

you mentally punched yourself but then you started laughing

what does knowing his name even matter, its not like u were ever going to talk to him anyway

LOL

*sad emoji*

but the coffee was good so you definitely planned to go back

and not just because of the cute boy

...unless....

*time skip*

the next day you went there was a week later at the same time in hopes that he was working the same shift

AND HE WAS!!!!

score! 1 for y/n, 0 for umm... any other person who had a crush on him too i guess

the cafe didnt have too many people since it was fairly new and also in a small part of the city

so when you went in, you were the only one there along with the two workers

“welcome, what would you like to order?”

NOT THIS AGAIN

he looked even cuter today

his messy blond hair almost covered his eyes

you shouldve forced your friend to come with you this time

you ordered the same thing as last time but this time he asked for your name

hmmm

“um y/n” you answered

your heart was always beating 2 times as fast whenever you had to talk to him

he wrote it down on the cup and after you paid, you went to sit down at the same spot as last time

looking at him is literally the highlight of your day

the same thing happened as last time, he came over and gave you your drink without giving u a second glance

>:((((

boooo look at me cute boy

nonetheless u continued going to the cafe at the same time as much as u could which was like three times a week

literally over a month later and u dont think anythings going to happen

u punch yourself for thinking the boy would somehow find interest in you

hes still indifferent to you which isn’t surprising since you’ve never made any kind of move

ever

but

he should know u by now

hopefully..

*time skip again*

it was a saturday

at this point you’ve basically given up on having a crush on him and now since its become a routine u just say you go for the coffee

not really paying attention to your surroundings you dont notice that the boy at the cash register isnt the normal one you see almost everyday

“hey, what would you like to order?”

woah WHAT

you look up from your bag to notice a boy that was definitely not the one that normally stood infront of it at this time

and you also noticed something on this new cashier

a name tag

how come your old little crush didnt have one????

this new boys name was ‘jay’ and he was fairly cute too

looking around the corner at the other worker u noticed he has a name tag too

you recognized him because he was always working when the cute boy was at the cash register

his name was ‘heeseung’

after taking in these new additions you answered to jay

“oh um.. can i ge-,”

“she gets an iced caramel macchiato. her name is y/n”

??!<_|#%[>~€\£~

you whipped your head around so fast to see who said that behind you

was it who you thought it was ??!??!

YES IT WAS!!!!

OH MYGOD

ITS HIM

you widened your eyes at the boy who wasnt wearing his normal black and white uniform

instead he was wearing black ripped jeans and a gray hoodie

wow....... and u thought he couldnt look any better

BUT OMG?? HE REMEMBERS U

“oh wow ni-ki, you know her?” the boy named jay asked him

“uh yeah.. shes a regular” he said before walking to stand next to you

NI-KI

HIS NAME IS NI-KI OHMHGOD

u thought his name fit him perfectly its so CUTE

“are you gonna get something too?”

this whole time you were silent because.. what is going on

your heart was being SO fast you thought that everyone could hear it

“yup, can i get the same thing? also im paying for both of us”

WHAT??/):)/$;##\%|

ur eyes widened even more it looked like they were gonna pop out of its sockets

u unconsciously leaned towards the boy next you and kind of put your hands up

“w-what?? oh um no, you dont have to do that” you nervously said to him as he looked down at you

he kind of had a smile on his face

“i want to.”

there is no way this is happening

“oiiii ni-ki” jay chuckled while punching in numbers on the cash register

“ill have both of your drinks out soon, you two kids have fun!” jay said before turning around to face heeseung

WHAT??!!??!

your jaw almost dropped from shock

millions of thoughts ran through your brain and you couldnt even process anything

u cant believe this was happening

it was like a wattpad story or something.. is this how u meet ur soulmate

your thoughts were interrupted by a hand on your back momentarily and u look to see ni-ki shyly grinning and gesturing u towards a table

no way...

you awkwardly follow him to a 2 person table next to wall and sit down

you literally could not hear anything except for the pounding of your heart

“uh sorry about that...” he rubbed his neck and sheepishly smiled

“im ni-ki by the way”

“y/n...” u felt so awkward u wanted to cry

“agh, im really sorry if that was weird.. i just didnt know how to ask you out.....” he trailed off

*passes out*

IM JOKING

Ok but u felt ur heart stop bc NO WAY

“wait what??” u ask, ur eyes bigger than the moon

“um yeah... haha i took the day off today to try to talk to you.. sorry if that was weird..”

HE WAS SO AWKWARD JUST LIKE YOU IT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER

“no its okay!! im glad actually...”

“really? so is it okay if we hang out?” he asked excitedly

u did not think u could handle HOW CUTE THIS BOY WAS O M G...

“of course! sorry if im kind of awkward though” you gave a small smile

“its okay, i think i am too”

you two began talking about the cafe and where you went to school

turns out even though you two lived in the same town (literally 5 minutes away from eachother) u went to different schools for some reason

u talked for like 2 minutes before jay walked up with your drinks

“hows it going guys?”

“its doing good bro, now go away..” ni-ki lightly shoved jay and laughed

you giggled at the sight

jay looked offended and came right back

“that is not how you talk to your elders ni-ki! y/n do you see this?!” he scoffed

ni-ki just rolled his eyes and turned back to you

“do not ignore me young man!” jay joked

“oh y/n, ive heard all about you from ni-ki over here by the way.”

ni-ki’s eyes got so big you almost got worried

he turned around so fast and gave jay one of those ‘i swear if you say anything ur dead meat’ looks

jay obviously did not care

“hes always like ‘y/n this y/n that’ blah blah im glad he finally got the balls to ask you out because im honestly sick of hearing it!” jay laughed

u were blushing so hard

NI-KI LIKED U????

this felt like a dream

ni-ki pushed jay away so hard and turned back with red cheeks

awe

but yeah that was the beginning of the cutest relationship ever

u and ni-ki were so cute together <333

you’d always visit him during ur free time

it took like 2 months before u two made it official tho

and he was the sweetest boyfriend ever

[mattygraygubler]

our campus: chapter 4 (tom holland fanfic)

summary: frat!tom and reader go to the same college and y/n is tasked with being his tutor, they don’t really get along at first (because i love reader and tom hating each other trope)

warnings: none ?????

word count: 2.1k

a/n: so many texts and so much dialogue fuckin kill me also texts are bold

for a list of characters click here

to be added to the tag list send me an ask !

masterlist

✰✰✰✰✰

“I don’t know what you did to get her to give you a second chance, but I need to warn you.” Ally said. Tom turned to look at her, they had only ever spoken when necessary for theater stuff. 

“Warn me?” He asked. 

“Y/N can make your life either very, very good or very, very bad. She has most of the professors in this school wrapped around her pinky. And she doesn’t make it obvious, but she’s the smartest person I’ve ever met. She can really help you if you let her.”

“Well, thanks.” He said awkwardly and turned back to his stuff. 

“One more thing.” Ally said. Tom turned again and raised his eyebrows. “Don’t you dare catch feelings.” “Seriously? No need to worry about that.” Ally scoffed. 

“I’m serious, Tom. Don’t. She doesn’t need that right now.” 

“Yeah, fine, I get it.” He said. 

“Alright guys let’s get started.” Gigi said, signaling rehearsal was about to start. 

* * * 

It was finally Friday, and your phone was blowing up as you walked to the library. Class had gotten out late, so you were walking as fast as possible so you wouldn’t be late to your meeting with Tom. 

Al

if Y/N is ok with it its fine with me

Iz

i still dont know how i feel about this

Em 

pretty pretty please guys i really like this guy and he really wants me to go

You

what are we talking about i was in class

Al

harrison invited em and all of us to the delt party tonight

Iz

and i said we shouldnt go bc of what happened

plus isnt tom a delt? wouldnt that be a bit awk?

You

honestly i couldnt care less. after the week ive had im gonna too blacked to even realize where we are

Em

lets take it to a vote

aye

Al

aye 

Iz

nay

You

im abstaining

Em

the ayes have it! delt BABEEEYYYY

ill have harrison put us all on the list

You 

glad we got that sorted ill see u guys at mine at 8

You walked into the library, checking your watch and seeing it was 4:02. You bit your lip. Hopefully he didn’t give you any crap for being late. 

You walked quickly into hlab, and you knew you looked like a crazy person. Your bag was falling off your shoulder, you had a coffee in your hand and your water bottle tucked under your arm, and your phone in your other hand. 

You scanned the room and saw Tom sitting across from Max, both of them had books out. 

“Hi,” you said breathlessly. Max slid over a seat so you could sit across from Tom. “So sorry I’m late, crazy day.” 

“No worries dar-” You heard him start to say darling, but stopped himself. “No worries. It’s only 2 minutes after.” 

“How long have you been waiting?” You asked.

“Max and I have been hanging out for a while, not a big deal.” 

“Speaking of, I’m on alc duty for tonight so I better go.” Max said, did his stupid handshake with Tom, and walked out. 

Hlab was almost empty except for some freshman. Most people don’t like studying on a Friday, who could blame them?

“So I got a copy of your lectures from this week. What do you want to start with?”

“I don’t care.” 

“Ok, what is currently confusing you the most?” He thought for a second before saying “Astronomy.” You nodded. 

“Great, grab your notes and your textbook.” He pulled out a notebook and his laptop, opening the online textbook. You pulled out your laptop and a pen and highlighter. 

“May I?” You asked and pulled his notebook to your side. You went through his notes, circling certain things with the pen and highlighting others. 

“These are really good, Tom. I like how you put question marks next to things that confused you.” He laughed. 

“Do I get a gold star?” He joked. You rolled your eyes. 

“So phases of the moon.” You started. 

“Wait a second,” he said after you had been talking for a while. “You’re telling me that the moon doesn’t actually, like, change?” 

“It’s all shadows.” You replied. He nodded and seemed to finally be getting it. 

“The phases will most definitely be on your next lab, which isn’t open note, so make sure you memorize them.” You said. “Let’s move onto stats.” He groaned. “What?” You asked. 

“Statistics is so stupid. Letters and numbers shouldn’t go together.” You rolled your eyes. 

“Stats is easy, I promise you. This is the first unit, all we’re doing is descriptive statistics and graphing. Let’s start with some vocab.” You said, highlighting certain words in his notes. 

Once you could see his brain was about to explode, you moved onto writing. 

“There’s not much to talk about, just email me your most recent paper so I can go through it and look for themes we need to discuss.” 

‘“Themes?” He asked. 

“You know, on going issues that need to be addressed.” He nodded and emailed you his paper, which you would read tomorrow. You heard your phone buzz and took a quick glance. 

Em

al dont be upset

Al

then dont give me a reason to get upset

what is it

Em

……….. It’s themed

Al

are you kidding? were not freshmen, i dont wanna go to a stupid themed frat party

Em

its blackout !!!! itll be fun i promise

You turned your phone back down and didn’t realize you had an upset look on your face. 

“Everything ok?” He asked. 

“Just arguing in the group chat.” 

“Do you need to go?” He asked. 

“No, no, just arguing about tonight.” 

“What’s tonight?” 

“Tonight is not related to political conflict, which is what we should be talking about.” He laughed. 

“Do you ever have fun?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“I’m serious, do you ever have fun, or do you just go to sleep surrounded by planners and textbooks.” 

“That’s not funny. There’s a lot more about me that you don’t know.” 

“Clearly.” 

“So we’re starting off with socioeconomic issues over time and the class strugle. Did you read the Marx chapters?” 

“Yup. Didn’t understand a word of it.” 

“Ok, let’s get into it.” You said and began rambling about the bourgeoisie and the communist manifesto. Politics was your favorite subject, you could talk about it for hours. 

You were having a really good discussion with Tom. It was global political conflict, and he was able to connect the themes to both America and England, which made you really pleased. 

You were pulled out of your discussion when your phone vibrated. 

Iz

pickin up panera anyone want anything 

“Jeez it’s already past 6:30, I gotta go.” You said. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He said. 

“No it’s not your fault, I get so into politics I lose track of time.” “I can tell.” He said as you both packed up your stuff. 

“Wanna grab some food?” He asked. 

“Sorry, can’t,” you said. 

“Why, got a hot date?” He joked. 

“Maybe,” you said. 

“At least let me walk you to wherever you’re going.” 

“You don’t have to do that.” 

“Well where are you going?” 

“Congression Hall?” You replied. 

“Wait, you live there?” 

“Uhm, yes? Me along with practically every other junior.” 

“What floor?” 

“8.” You said. 

“Should’ve guessed.” He replied as you started walking across the quad. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Honors 8. I forgot you were in hc.” He was referring to the eighth and top floor of Congression Hall, which was reserved for the honors college juniors. 

“Yeah.” You said simply. 

“I’m on six, by the way.” He said. “That’s why I was curious. I’ve never seen you around there.” 

“I’m not usually, I only really use it for sleep.” 

“Of course,” he replied. 

“I assumed you lived in a frat house.” You commented. 

“Nah, next year.” He said with a wink. “Speaking of frat houses, there’s kind of this party going on at Delt tonight-” 

“I’m aware.” You said, cutting him off. 

“Ah, well, if you want I can get you on the list.” You smiled to yourself. 

“No need, I’m already on the list.” You said. 

“Oh?” He said, clearly embarrassed. “Because of delta nu?” 

“Nope.” You said, not offering any other information. 

“Well maybe I’ll see you there then.” 

“Even if you do see me there, I will be pretending I don’t know you.” 

“Why?” He asked, clearly offended. “I run that house.” He joked, trying to play off the embarrassment. 

“No offense, but your reputation would not be good for mine.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Well I have a certain reputation in the greek community, and if people see me with you they’ll get the wrong idea.” 

“The wrong idea?” He asked as you walked in the lobby of your building. 

“Well, see, the thing is,” you said, stepping into the elevator. He pressed the button for six and eight. “I have certain standards. If people see me with you, they’ll think I’ve…” 

“Wow, you are really uptight, aren’t you?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Certain standards? Jesus christ, you’re not the queen, Y/N. And I don’t have a bad reputation. But god forbid I don’t live up to your ‘standards.’” He said, storming off the elevator without another word, clearly upset. You sighed. Good job, Y/N. 

Tom got to his room and threw his stuff on the floor, collapsing on his bed. His head hurt from all the tutoring, and trying to focus on not staring at your lips. 

delt juniors

Tom

aight important question guys

Cal

whats up tommy

Tom

do you guys know a girl called Y/N Y/L/N? shes a delta nu

Joey

dan knows her ;)

Cal

fuck, Y/N? what are you doing with her? 

Tom

shes tutoring me stop buggin 

Max

i know her which u know shes in hc with me 

Liam

oh danny DEFINITLY knows her 

Will

who doesnt know Y/N? shes a hot commodity

Tom

what do you mean? 

Cal

shes like the perfect girl next door, totally hot and so smart which just makes her hotter

Will

doesnt help that shes a huge fuckin flirt AND can hold her alc

Joey

dan is being suspiciously quiet……..

Dan

shut up joe

Liam

care to share with tommy your story with Y/N, daniel? 

Dan

i hate u all 

fine

i was like in love with her freshman year

and i thought she was into me too

and we made out a couple of times but nothing else

the second she found out i was in delt she stopped talking to me

like complete radio silence 

Tom

wtf? Why? 

Cal

she doesnt fuck with delts

thats like common greek knowledge

Will

maybe its because shes gonna be dchi sweetheart? 

Joey

nah theres gotta be something else

Harrison

well i just put her on the list for tonite

Tom

wait YOU put her on the list?! 

Harrison

yeah i invited her friend Emily Gold and she doesnt go anywhere without Y/N and these two other girls

Cal

Ally Park and Isabelle Miller

Harrison

yeah howd u know? 

Cal

theyre like those cool girls from high school everyones obsessed with that are just out of everyones league

Tom

wow american high schools are so weird

Dan

tom if u wanna get with her i wont be pissed

Tom

nah like you said she hates delts, and after three tutoring sessions with me i guarentee i am her least favorite delt ever

Liam

theres no fuckin way she shows up tonight

she wouldnt be caught dead at a delt party

Noah

wait you said Y/N Y/L/N may come tonight????

DIBS

DIBS DIBS DIBS

I CALL DIBS

Cal

noah u seriously show up just to call dibs?

Noah

yeah bro have u seen her? if she comes tonight and any of you try to cockblock me i stg ill deck you

Dan

pretty sure tommy has rightful dibs to this one

Tom

nah fam she hates me so fuckin much

let noah try his luck

i doubt she’ll even show

Max

she’ll show. 

Tom

what makes u say that? 

Liam

max does know her best

Max

she and ally and emily and isabelle are ride or die. they circulate who picks what party they go to and if its emilys turn and harrison somehow conviced her to go, Y/N wont miss it

Dan

she hasnt set foot in a delt house since freshman year, you seriously think she’ll show? 

Max

five bucks says she does

Dan

youre on 

Noah

i just wanna make it clear

that if she does show

D I B S

[yaraaflor]

kori for the character ask thing?

oh boy. u asked for it.

first impression: the teen titans cartoon show. i loved loved LOVED kory when i was a kid, i dressed up as her for halloween, i had all sorts of her merch. starfire was my absolute fave. and of course i shipped her and dick to high heaven before i knew what shipping was. i thought she was the sweetest and kindest person, i loved her little alien things. i wanted so badly to be like her. (also like dick, i have always had a weakness for redheads, even as a child.)

impression now: ill always love the TT cartoon but now i know how truly inaccurate that portrayal of kory was. shes so much more complex and interesting. frankly i dont think fandom gives her enough credit for how developed of a character she is, so many people are just like “kory! perfect goddess!” and thats not true!! she has flaws, like any other person! her anger, her inner violence, runs so deep in her (understandably so), and shes done less than savory things. but shes truly the most compassionate and loving character ive ever seen, the way she cares for her loved ones is just. so inspiring. and the ways she cares for herself, too. ugh i just. love her. also i think she should be a much bigger hero in the dc universe given her power levels. give her a solo that isnt gross like the 2015 one!!

favorite moment: this is kind of a weird one, but there’s a titans issue (i cant remember which run) where she goes to see a superhero therapist. and for some reason she gets pissed off and smashes something and storms out. but then like a moment later she comes back in and apologizes!!! its just such a good moment of kory, it shows that she’s flawed but also shows her greater nature, which is one that is kind and endeavors to understand both others and herself. 

idea for a story: damn i used up the polycule idea already lol. well this is just a short idea but what with all the crazy shit that shes going through in the JLO storyline (like shes literally dead rn, hopefully will be brought back to life soon), i want to see her back on earth when its all over. i want to see her recovery. kory has a life full of trauma and this is just another in a long list, that she’ll probably be expected to deal with on her own bc shes the “emotionally intelligent” one. like no. let her go to her friends. have her and vic (and jess and jean paul i guess) bond over the horrible shit they went thru. have her go to dick for comfort, since shes always been there for him. have her talk it through with raven and donna, her two best friends. let her recover with the titans! i could write a whole story about it, but im waiting til jlo ends i guess. idk i want to see what happens next even tho im super confused most of the time.

unpopular opinion: this isnt really an unpopular opinion by any stretch but i hated her portrayal in RHATO. i mean i just hated that comic in general, i couldnt get through it, but they did kory so dirty in the name of making jason look cool. they got rid of her whole (extensive) history with the titans, HER FAMILY, whom she adored and who helped her through so much! they made her seem naive again, the amnesia thing was really a cheap trick. also, putting her with roy was kinda... like it wasnt a terrible idea, but it was weird, given their history. and the fact that the were both wildly ooc of course. anyway this could turn into an essay breaking down all the shit about rhato that i hated but ill stop for now.

favorite relationship: oh man, it would have to be with dick, bc their love is so pure and sweet and they care for each other so deeply even when theyre not together. however i also love how close her friendship with vic is. and donna of course.

favorite headcanon: hm. that she pegs? lol no jk thats basically canon. the one that is coming most to mind now is my idea that kory is super embedded in the fashion world and is really quite famous. she rubs elbows with supermodels and movie stars, but it never phases her bc a) she’s a literal princess and b) she treats all people with equal respect. i love that she had an already existing friendship with jennie-lynn in outsiders 2003, my headcanon is that they became friends while modelling and just both happened to be superheroes. I think kory deserves some model friends! the titans will always be her family but i like the idea of her branching out a little and having a bit of a normal life on earth, although it must be frequently interrupted by her superhero antics.

[lovelydodie]

runnin' til i crashed into you

summary: roman really wants to meet his soulmate, sooner rather than later, preferably.

warnings: none!

pairings: logince, brief moxiety

a/n: human!au soulmate edition! i really wanted to get this out bc it literally wouldnt leave my head rip. for the soulmate aspect: just imagine the eye sparkle connection from hotel transylvania lmao ,,also unbetaed and maybe ooc? pls be gentle im soft for this also logince isnt one of my fave ships but this idea just fit them! pls enjoy and let me know what u think! title from dont you go by all time low!

Roman has always dreamed of his soulmate since he was a little boy. Always thinking of what they would like, sound like, just be like.

The idea that someone out there was made to love him, and someone out there was made to be loved by him gave him butterflies. He was ready for them, ready to love them with his whole heart.

Ever since his best friend, Patton, had met his soulmate, Virgil, he's imagined every night how he would meet them. Would it be a soft moment, where they realized they were it for each other?

Would Roman immediately know they were his soulmate? Would they be happy?

“Roman!”

Roman snapped out his daydream by Patton’s voice, calling his attention toward his best friend. “Sorry, my dearest Patton, I was daydreaming of my future beloved again.”

“Couldn't tell, kiddo,” Patton giggled, as Virgil wrapped an arm around him, Roman’s chest squeezed with envy. “It'll be soon, Ro, just gotta let fate take hold.”

Roman groaned, crossing his arms, “I hope it's soon, as much as I love watching you two be happy and sickeningly in love,” Roman smiled sadly, “I want that for myself too.”

Patton and Virgil gave Roman sympathetic smiles, before carefully considering their words.

Eventually, it was Virgil who said something, “Let fate be Roman, if you constantly wonder or try to meet your soulmate before fate’s ready, you'll drive yourself crazy.”

Patton hums in agreement with his boyfriend, “Exactly, kiddo!” he says, “Who knows, you could meet them tomorrow!”

“Wouldn't that be the dream?” Roman laughs.

But fate has a funny way of going about things.

---

Roman was running late, very late.

His alarm didn't go off, so he overslept an hour and his car wouldn't start so he had to wait for the bus, which was also late.

So here was he, running like a maniac down the street as fast as he could, dodging annoyed men and women, yelling apologies quickly.

Next thing, Roman feels himself collide with a body and they both fall to ground.

“I’m sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going, are you alright?” the stranger asks.

“Yeah, I'm fine,” Roman starts, but is quickly cutting himself off as he looks up at the stranger, the quick sparkle in his eyes and the thrumming in his veins tells him everything he needs to know. “More than fine, actually.”

The stranger chuckles, and oh fuck, Roman’s already gone. “Didn't think this would be the way I would meet you, I’m Logan, Logan Foster.” Logan extends his hand to help Roman up.

Roman starts grinning as he accepts the offer and gets pulled up to his feet, “Roman, Roman Prince,” he says, breathless. “I've been waiting forever and a day for you.”

Logan smiles, and oh no, it's soft. Nothing could've prepared Roman for everything he was feeling at this moment. Everything he had done in his life was leading up to this very moment, and now it was here.

“Likewise, Roman,” Logan said.

“I hate to cut this conversation short, Logan, but I really need to go,” Roman explained sadly, Logan visibly deflating, “But if I could get your number, maybe we can get to know each other?” Roman asks hopefully.

Logan nods as he pulls out his phone, “That would be agreeable, and perhaps we could go out on a date, whenever you're available?” Logan adds.

“Definitely,” Roman agrees, grin never leaving his face as he enters his number into Logan's phone. “There I texted myself so now I have your number, too!”

Logan nods as he pockets his phone, “It was lovely to meet you, Roman.” Logan says he starts to make his way down the street.

“You too, Logan!” Roman shouts as he takes off running again. This time with a new pep in his step.

Leave it to Patton to accurately guess when he would meet his forever.

[thefuturewifeofsarahpaulson]

I love Supergirl 3x12

Ngl this episode was a real turn around for supergirl (not just bc of the supercorp gold) but i loved it. Melissa Benoist is so great as Kara it makes me cry. She balances the naivete (i dont know how to spell) of kara and her strength and dedication as well as her empathy and need to take care of those around her and damn is it just awesome. I relate to her and always have as a character whether you think she's gay or straight etc. She shows characteristics that anyone who's felt isolated,abandoned and without hope can relate to and shows that you can get through it even if it still lingers.

Trauma can be so subtle and then just weigh down on u at the drop of a hat and the idea of supergirl in general and this season shows that. It makes me so happy to see complex emotions played on screen especially for a female character. We never get to see how anger really affects women. Maybe in terms of a fight with a love interest but the anger at being oppressed and undermined as well as anger from trauma are never touched upon. Women aren't allowed to show realistic responses to trauma a lot of the time in media and supergirl has always shown that.

I know supergirl has made ppl irritated (trust me, i never wanna watch an interview again) and pissed off but i really don't want to see it get cancelled.

If it gets cancelled then what does that do? We got angry abt mon el so they cut his screen time and made him less irritating, lema gets to have a complex story and episodes centred around her, winn is getting a centric ep, alex and sam are gonna have something happen (probably) or we get to see alex be there for ruby which will be interesting as fuck. Mehacad gets to play chraming and james gets to be giardian more recently (still more improvememt needed there).

When theres a group of dudes directing and writing a show abt strong women or different sexualities and races (ik sg isnt very diverse at all and that should change) then they will make mistakes. "For good " had a female director.

A step in the right direction.

Telling writers to die and calling misunderstanding male writers terrible or misogynistic bc they wrote a shitty dude in a cw show isn't the way to go. We just look insane. It's a cw show, they want teen girls who cant get their boyfriends to shave their neck beards to drool over mon el and tune in every week with their mums. That's why he's there! He's bait and somehow turned into an annoying love interest. They could have done so many things differently ! And they are. There are improvements to be made but with the success of black lightning hopefully the cw's other shows will follow. We can hope and compliment progress and be fans who promote the good shit rather than nit picking. Draw guardian fan art and tweet the shit abt it as much as we do supercorp. Even if they wont acknowledge subtext the increased screen time for it shows they know the relationship (even as friends) is important. We're spending more time on shit thats never gonna happen rather promoting more of what we got. Tweet abt the lena centric eps so much (with less of calling katie mcgrath a dyke), tweet abt how cool guradian is and the stunts, how great kara's reactiom to lena being poisoned was

Tell the world that you think agent reign is cute as shit .

We need to build up rather than break down bc ship wars are always gonna be seen as insane.

Becausee they are.

Everyone ends up thinking the lesbians are crazy bc of a bad few and rampant homophobia on the other side gets ignored bc someone tweets at married actresses that they should raw their female costars in an instagram livestream.

It happens in every fucking fandom and i get it dont get me wrong, i'll look at anti-mon el memes til my lungs give out ( bc they're hilarious ) but damn we need to quell some of the hatred bc it won't get us anywhere.

It's not everyone and i'm not innocent but progress breeds progress and progress rn now would be to chill.

(Also can we stop calling actresses dykes bc even if they were out as lesbians that's not a cool word like we aren't throwing fag around abt male actors we think r gay)

[is-hiveswap-act-2-out-yet]

Everyone is saying that Joey is gay, and while I do support that, have people considered her being bisexual? Liking both boys and girls? THAT would make much more sense, wouldn't it?

ok i have a lot to say about this.

bisexual joey is fine if you headcanon bisexual joey like its cool whateva live your life be ya self. maybe she is bisexual! who knows not us thats for sure.

but i feel like….theres this recurring thing thats happening…where a character shows attraction to one gender consistently and then for a split second they show attraction to a different-gender character and/or question their sexuality for a different-gendered character and everyone says “they showed attraction for BOTH genders in the past. that means theyre bisexual!” and then lots of people call out anyone that doesnt headcanon said character as bisexual bc its “bisexual erasure” and its a huge mess.

and you know its fine to see characters that have been attracted to both genders throughout their lives as bisexual like there aint nothin wrong with that. theres not that many bi characters out there so bi representation is awesome and headcanons are what you want them to be

but i feel like this whole thing that i just described fails to communicate the experience a lot of gay people go through (or trans!!). especially gay girls.

compulsive heterosexuality, heteronormativity, internal homophobia etc. these are all things that i think need to be talked about more.

i had NO idea these things existed until i was 18 (i had been questioning since 15) and stumbled across a blog talking about gay girls that finally realized they were in fact, gay but previously went along with being straight bc thats what…youre supposed to do….right? and back then i labeled myself as guess what? bi. it always felt weird to say it and it felt wrong but it was easier than figuring out wtf was going on w me bc i had never seen anything like how i felt. but…i had dated guys in the past?? and had just been with guys/had crushes on guys etc. so…..i MUST be bisexual….right???

as soon as i heard from another gay girl that these things existed and that i wasnt the only one that felt that way and it was something to overcome, i was able to stop doing things that made me uncomfortable.

i mean i know people that were HUGE flirts to the opposite gender (same? guilty?)before realizing they were gay just because isnt that what youre supposed to do??? flirt with the opposite gender??? or literally just overcompensating…trying to be like their straight friends and failing every time things got serious.

point: gay people that once identified as straight, bisexual or any other “queer” sexuality exist and have unique stories. i think these stories of realizing that you arent straight and that hey maybe you actually have no attraction to the opposite gender at all! despite your past actions and/or feelings! are so important to tell.

because otherwise it could be YEARS before some people figure out that they dont have to u know do things that they dont want to do or force themselves to be like their friends. and they can start being themselves while in their teen years! they can fall in love and go on dates etc while all their straight friends do the same thing.

just like its important to highlight bisexual awakenings/bisexuality/gay people that always know they were gay and love being gay/trans people/intersex people/ lesbians, its important to highlight that its not as divided as you think and you should explore because society really has you wrapped around its finger with expectations. it can have a serious hold on you.

i just…never see characters that go through the overcoming compulsive heterosexuality and realizing they never liked what they did in the past??? the closest i can think of is dave who realized that labeling sexuality is stupid and doesnt even exist in space or ever it never mattered or existed it was just how society made you think it did. to the extent that he would hate on gay people himself bc he was insecure about actually being what society considers taboo.

its scary. its a scary, crazy, wild experience that i think needs to be talked about instead of being labeled as “bisexual” everytime.

and thats why i headcanon gay joey ok.

i really wish i could tag this but im on mobile so hopefully enough people see it.

[bellblake]

Just a few more questions cuz my friends said I reached my fangirling limit in the group chat. Will Gaia accept Octavia as the new leader? Will Indra and Kaine be proud to watch their baby grow up? Will Jaha teach the little boy who's dad wanted to fight how to play chess, like he did with Wells? Will Jackson help Miller grieve, and eventually end up falling in love? Will Octavia be able to find where she fits in without Lincoln or Bellamy? Will she ever truly see herself as worthy of surviving?

1. ok the gaia / octavia thing…. gaia looked kinda pissed when she saw octavia with the grounder commander forehead thing. (i forget what they’re called) so honestly i feel like thats gonna be a huge part of season 5. (which will be sooo interesting.) i hope gaia has a bigger part next season because 1. she is such a cool character 2. she is indras daughter who literally came out of nowhere and i need more on their history and 3. SHES SO BEAUTIFUL2. indra basically worships octavia now so i def think shell be defending octavia for at least a little while (omg i love their relationship so much) and KANE. EVERY RELATIONSHIP KANE HAS IS MY FAVE. i love him. especially Kane x O and Kane x Bell. I literally wish they were related. so bad. I think kane is proud of O atm, since the games- but who knows about later next season? i feel like since O has had such a crazy past 2/3 seasons and a lot of people hate her, they’re probably gonna try to keep her on the better side for a while, to win her some fans back.3. WHERE IS BRYAN?? DID I MISS THAT?? IM SO CONFUSED..!?! IS HE DEAD?? honestly idk how i feel about jackson and miller yet. i never really liked bryan tbh so i def think ill like jackson more with him. i guess jackson will have a bigger role, something other than following abby around lol. but seriously where is bryan? like i genuinely don’t know what happened to him. someone plz answer this4. stop u brought up wells I’m gonna cry. I’m confused bc apparently isaiah washington (aka Thelonious Jaha) isnt supposed to be in season 5… so?? i don’t know why they gave that storyline just to sweep it under the rug cause it could’ve been so good. i feel like it would’ve been a really good redemption for him cause tbh since wells died he has sucked.5. all i can say is i hope they never drop the lincoln references because of all the people who have died he’s my fave. he’s literally the only person on the entire show who literally did no wrong. (actually neither did wells but ya know) He was so good for O so I’m hoping after her little spiral she’s gonna live for lincoln rather than pitying herself. I REALLY hope she wants to survive? honestly after the whole Jasper thing I can’t handle another person on this show thinking those thoughts. bellamy finally thinks he’s worth living- after literally 4 seasons, so hopefully O will. I just hope she really shows bellamy how important he is to her because she’s treated him so badly. she needs to literally apologize to him the remainder of the series lol. but like i said before, i think after the last few seasons, they’ll give octavia a better role that will make more people like her again. not make her the bad guy. (i hope bc i love her character)

[blackrupee]

Wow your life sounds complicated right now I'm sorry for that. So you aren't gonna have any managers what the fuck? And OH MY GOD I hate when people come in to eat so close to close!!!! ( I work @ zaxbys) if someone is acting passive aggressive I would act even more passive aggressive- make that bitch regret it- regarding the 2 guys: 2 guys is better than no guys:))) wish the first one didn't pressure you though. How did the 2nd one hurt you? - and I care so don't worry about boring me

hi hello would you like to read a novel on my life thanks i talk too much (tldrs at end)

nah like.. we had been managing with a general manager and 3 assistant managers even though we really need 4 so as not to overwork anyone. we recently hired a new one from a corporate arbys (we’re franchised) and two just quit. like i mentioned, theyre not coming back even though the original plan was that their new jobs would be only temporary (6 weeks). sooooo now we have a general manager who only works weekday day shifts, one assistant manager who is relatively new (she had been working at this place for a while but was promoted to manager 6ish months ago) and another who is brand new but still has some experience. they said theyre looking to promote from within initially, but they might have to hire outside people if no suitable potential manager is picked. id love to get manager pay and its not like managers do anything hard so id be WILLING to be a manager..like the whole reason why i got trained on backline was because we have such a big turnover rate with backline people since it fucking SUCKS and i was wanting to be helpful and flexible. so like. thats what i offerred. but one assistant manager was like “lmao all youd do is swear at the customers” and im like bitch when have i ever?? i talk shit about them all the time but ive only sworn IN FRONT OF a customer twice and neither time was it directed at them. but i mean im sitting on a small handful of customer complaints so its not like the gm would even consider me probably. idk dude. i can be nice if you pay me to be nice. but i get paid to do food and do it fast……….so

but yeah literallyyyyyyyyy i have no idea how people can be so??? inconsiderate???? and they dont??? care??? im learning that my contant frustration with people in my personal interactions is due to a disconnect between what i value in  expectations and what actually happens. like. when i go somewhere i already KNOW what i want, so i say it quickly and competently. i preface a lot of my interactions with people im requesting food or services from with “i’m sorry but…”. i phrase things as “could i get” as opposed to “get me” or “i want” which sound HELLA rude tbh. id always have my money ready at the window or the register, im always trying to pay attention and not miss anything or just….be rude in any way bc i know fast food fucking sucks. i know some of the people i interact with probably hate their job as much as i do and i want to be the smallest burden i can be. and it seems like nearly no one else has these same values???? and i dont understand how people can just??? be? so? inconsiderate?

also yes bitch im the queen of passive aggression. literally the night before i was working a short shift and my friend was closing frontline and this bitch was closing drivethrough. i just got the okay to clock out and i was like “bye! have a beautiful night! just know that i love you so much and ive everything ive ever said has always been fake until this point! never meant anything ive ever said until now especially if your name starts with k or ends with ristin (drivethrough girl/the one whos being so difficult is named kristin) but just know that i love you!” and basically being really dramatic and extra as satire.

i guess for context the whole reason she decided to be mad at me was the other night when she was drunk and was like “do you even likeeeeeee meeee i feel like you hateeeee meeee wahh wahh wahhhh” even though im like…..yes bitch i enjoy your company? i joke/use hyperbole/satire/irony/whatever a lot but like occasionally id be like “ey yo you know its all jokes right u know i love u right” just to ensure that she knows but she fucking. ignores it all. i feel like she so desperately WANTS me to hate her and tbh i got fucking sick and tired of hearing her complain all the time about this shit! i fucking hate repeating myself! so sure. if you want me to hate you so fucking much there. i hate you. i fucking hate you so fucking much. like is that what you want to hear? is that validating? are you fucking happy?

its so fucking frustrating

but i will not be held accountable for her decision to be upset. because thats what it is. she wants to be upset, and she wants me to be responsible for it when its literally not my responsibility. i am absolutely not going to stand for this shit like i kind of want to say its emotional abuse lmaooo but im just so fucking sick of it. 

everyone knows that i take chicken tenders and turnovers that would be thrown out at the end of the night and she was closing frontline yesterday and made a point to throw out the turnovers right next to me without asking if i wanted any/leaving any for me. i mean i completely expected her to be that petty of a bitch so it was kind of funny tbhonestly. also im p sure she unfollowed me here lmaoo

with regards to the guys and this paragraph could get a bit tmi/nsfw: yeah the first one kind of sucked but i feel like a little bit of the New Person Nerves have worn down so id do better if we were to hookup again. because like i totally would love to have fucked him but…..anxiety. he was hot tho. like 10/10 body and ass holy shit. plus he complimented me on my ass eating so (assuming that was genuine and not a vapid ego boost haha paranoia am i right) hopefully he comes back for seconds. 

second guy ive had a longish history with. started talking to him at the beginning of last fall semester and we hooked up kinda regularly for about a month. things fell apart, we both understood that we wouldn’t be good dating wise but still enjoyed meaningless cuddles. whatever. it got to a point where he would only hit me up like once every month and a half or so and towards like january-ish he hits me up again. so im like nice cool lets chill. im getting ready for this but my phone is in the other room. while im doing this he drove by my place to pick me up (since he was on his way back from nashville), didnt get a response to an “im here” text (bc i was busy and tbh not expecting him to do that), and left. he lives within like walking distance tho so im like “?? sorry i was busy are you still out or should i walk over?“ and he texts me like “sorry hold up a thing just happened” and im like…….okay. so im just.. waiting around for him. periodically texting like “hey are we good for tonight and whats going on?” because like there was some drama with his friend? hes like.. apologizing and shit but this goes on for an hour. BUT. the ENTIRE time he’s dealing with this friend problem or whatever he’s literally on grindr. and at the end of this hour im like in full blown paranoia panic mode and i literally text him something mentioning this and he BLOCKS ME ON GRINDR so im like ??????!!!!??? and i text him (all while saying “not to be crazy or paranoid bc im probably coming off that way but like could i get an answer or something??”) AND HE LITERALLY SAYS HE DELETED HIS GRINDR. but thats a LIE because i have a secondary account to see like……if guys are still on grindr/if a thing with a guy might turn into something more like if i see he’s not on grindr as much?? thats prob incredibly stalkerish and probably really creepy but hey. thats me. so i KNOW he lied to me but i cant really say “hey ur a liar” without disclosing this weird creepy stalker part of me (funnily enough this isnt the first time a guy has lied to me and i caught it with my secondary account! so it proves to have some function use in the end. not totally crazy). so. yeah. that was the incident. after this i dont trust him at all, and i still dont, but i had it in my mind to like somehow get him to fall in love with me just so i could break his heart for doing this? never really worked out. so now im at the point where im like….eh he’s a piece of shit and i hate him but ill cuddle with him bc it feels good

back to nsfw/tmi: the sex was okay. he’s weird about people being near his like….dick and stuff because he was raped and i totally get it bc i was too but he was comfortable enough for me to finger him and my finger still hurts from where he clenched when he came lmaoooooo. was totally hot tho. and i got to east his ass so im like eyyyyyyyy. its been so long since ive eaten ass so having it two consecutive nights in a row has been cathartic.

tldr; we have 2 assisant managers and a gm rn. looking for more

tldr; bitch. same.

tldr; bitch. same.

tldr; he’s a liar