#hope this is in any way coherent lol. sorry for putting a wall of text about family abolition on your dashes at 12 on a sunday but in my

[officialpenisenvy]

aren’t there good things that come from family members loving and supporting each other? i’m not trying to be a dick, i just haven’t heard the term “family abolition” before or heard about this as a movement

don't worry, i totally get it, family is an institution that is profoundly entrenched in our culture and has been throughout history, so i know it can be really tough to imagine a world without it. family abolition is an incredibly varied and complex movement and summarizing it is way beyond the scope of my abilities, so this is just the way i personally see it at this point in time. individual families can absolutely be a positive community full of support and love, in fact i would say that my own extended family is a net positive despite it all; still, the institution of the family overall is largely a negative force that creates insular pockets of complacency and silence around the abuse that occurs between its members, while at the same time overstating any potential harm that comes from outside sources or society at large.

if you're anything like me, the vast majority of people in your life come from abusive or otherwise deeply dysfunctional homes, ones that have done demonstrably more harm than good in their own personal development and growth: beyond the anecdotal, just look at the statistics on, for instance, the rates of queer youth with abusive or bigoted families, or how many conservatives today use the family as a shorthand for all that is good and pure and must be protected from degenerate perverts (despite studies showing that the vast majority of child sexual abuse comes from within the home).

i sometimes liken family abolition to church abolition, as both are deeply rotten institutions and forces for conservatism built on abuse upon abuse and wrongful hierarchy upon wrongful hierarchy, as well as both having some good apples such as individual family units or parishes that can be incredibly positive forces in people's lives. however, this comparison isn't perfect: namely, the church responds to the need for a spiritual and ideological connection based around a specific faith and teleological belief, a need that can be met by no other community of people in today's society (barring other religious congregations, of course). the family's function, on the other hand, is not unique to itself: a common adage is it takes a village to raise a child, and i really do find it to ring true when discussing family abolition — a handful of blood-related individuals will never be better fit to raise a healthy and happy child than a wide and sprawling community founded on trust and mutual accountability and communal child-rearing experience, a community that doesn't necessarily exclude the blood relatives of the children but works to integrate them in a larger context where any potential abuse of power is kept in check and denounced.

of course, this is mostly theoretical: we live in a society (bottom text) that is deeply capitalistic, and capitalism is founded on the institution of the family, so it's probably utopian to imagine the abolition of the family before the collapse of capitalism. and even then, many societies in the world and throughout history are not capitalistic yet are still founded on the family (albeit with varying definitions of it, some of which are very close to the proverbial "village" i described above): if the aim is to dismantle the family altogether and not simply alter its definition to fit more members of consanguinity or non-consanguinity, it will have to be a concerted and strenuous effort to go against an ingrained part of our understanding of the world.

[fathertaurus]

Fault -- David Dobrik Angst

A/N: so a bitch was feeling in an angsty mood...I hope this is all coherent lol. Before reading this look up the song “Liar” by LEON and put that bitch on repeat.

“I have been in love with you from the first day we met.” 

David flinched at your words, eyes still on the floor given that he couldn’t meet your eyes. Whether that was due to guilt or embarrassment you couldn’t decipher but in the moment you didn’t care at all about his feelings.

“At that party, I remember seeing you smile and it felt like my heart was struck with…pure ecstasy.” You laugh, bitterly, mind actually drifting to that moment in time. You didn’t have to dig far though—it was one of your most present memories, because you could never forget that feeling. 

“I didn’t push, I knew I couldn’t because you were in a relationship and I never wanted to come in-between the two of you. So I sat back and ignored the feelings, suffocated them under our friendship to give myself some sort of relief from my constant racing heart.” Sucking in a tight breath, Y/N leaned back against the brick wall, hands running up and down her face as tears began to find their way down her cheeks. 

“But unfortunately that wasn’t as affective as I thought it would be.”

David couldn’t help himself now, stare moving from the cement beneath them to her. There was a look in her eyes—absent being the word that came to his mind. Despite staring directly at him Y/N seemed to be a million miles away, maybe looking through him instead. The sight made his skin crawl and his stomach twist. 

“We were spending every day together,” She spoke, wiping at the tip of her nose and flushed cheeks, “Hours upon hours spent in each other’s company I don’t know how I expected not to fall for you.” 

David himself began to flashback to said hours. It was true, they were nearly connected at the hip with how often they were around each other. But what David saw as a mere close friend, Y/N was silently assuming..and wishing it was more. 

“There was that time, at Scott’s house when you fell asleep in my lap whilst you were editing,” A smile curved the ends of her lips—but not reaching her eyes as they typically, “I sat there and just thought..’This could be us all the time,’ y’know? We could have moments like this all the time if he—“

Her lips froze, words trailing off her tongue and dropping bluntly to the floor. The expression on her face bothered David; it was like an itch he just couldn’t scratch, the way she looked. A bleariness that made every nerve ending within him flare and burn. 

“I thought you liked me too after that.” She continue, bringing David back to the surface. Blinking rapidly and shaking her head she cleared her throat, “I don’t know why but I was convinced you felt something towards me, even if it was just a fraction for what I felt for you. I went on like that for months—under this wild  illusion that every slight brush of the hand, every text message and soft smile..all meant something more.”

She no longer seemed to be lost within her own thoughts anymore, emotion steadily returning to her face to create an expression of pure grief. Eyebrows folding and furrowing, bottom lip beginning to quiver and eyes reddening. 

“I was so dumb.”

David found himself stumbling forward at her last sentence, taking the words as though they were a personal insult. 

“Y/N no—,” hand stretched he reached to touch her shoulder but only managed to brush his fingertips over her coat. She looked at him with eyes wide.

“Yes..I was.” He retracted his arm, allowing it to fall silently at his side as he waited. She crossed her arms over her chest and began to speak again, “When you told me..t-that the two of you had broken up, I’m sorry but I was happy. Hopeful even. I thought that now, now you had the chance to really see me, to act on your supposed feelings for me that I conjured up.”

The sky moaned another roll of thunder, snowfall now petting the earth heavier than when they first stepped outside. A cold breezed whipped between the two of them, strong enough to cause David to swivel on his feet. But Y/N remained motionless, simply gripping the ends of her coat tighter to her body and waiting for the blast to pass. 

When the air settled, and the traffic behind them sped away she cleared her throat once more, finding the words that were stirring behind her eyes.

“I told myself to wait..wait until you felt better and then you would ask. You would blurt it out randomly or you would just message me and tell me it was me, I was the one you should’ve picked the whole time.” Tears dripped further down her face, leaving stains as they slipped from her cheeks, to her chin, to the ground. “I was praying for it. Every day..simply waiting for that notification to pop on my phone of you confessing how you felt for me only to come to the end of the night with a little less faith.” 

“No one else even compared to you despite us never having any sort of..romance,” She chuckled bitterly once again, shaking her head slowly, “People would come and go in my life, all of them interested but I could never fully reciprocate those feelings..because they weren’t you.” 

Their eyes met once again, David watching miserably as more and more tears fell. 

“Funny..I was in the same exact position as them the whole time.” 

Y/N shifted on her feet once again, taking a moment to look up at the sky and notice the flurry of snow falling upon them. David absent-mindedly followed, wondering if he could see the same thing she seemed to be looking for within the ice.

“And then came tonight,” He glanced back down but she was still looking above them, lips noticeably beginning to pale in color, “You walked in with her under your arm and I knew it…I felt it in my gut.” Her voice ceased and cracked, Y/N flinching at the pain. Her eyes fluttered shut, discomfort slowly trudging into a pitiful ache sprayed across the entirety of her face. 

“No words had to be spoken, I just knew it.” She whimpered, “A-And I couldn’t stop myself, the tears. I felt like I was going to choke on my own tongue I had to leave.” 

The details ultimately explained how they both ended up out here, David earlier noticing her escaping the confinements of the club through the front door and instantly fighting his way through the crowd to follow steadily after. 

And now..here they were.

“I-I think the worst part,” She rasped, head slowly dropping down, “The worst part is that I can’t even be mad at you..because you never knew.”

A burning began to raise behind David’s eyes. Maybe it was because of the nipping cold, maybe it was because he could quite literally see his best friend’s heart breaking from the distance they were at..and he was the reason why. 

“I want to be furious with you..I want to scream at you, I want to hurt you like—fuck—like you hurt me, are hurting me.” She was tripping over her words, tears choking her of oxygen, body racking with ugly, harsh sobs. David watch as she swiped at the flood beneath her eyes but it was to no avail; the more she wiped, the more tears came.

She heaved and cough, “B-But I can’t..because you didn’t do anything wrong.” Y/N covered her face with her gloved fingers, the cloth instantly becoming damp from the mesh of her sobs and the snowflakes. 

David sniffed his own tears away, ignoring the burning and trying to ground himself. If he fell apart what would become of this situation? Holding back was the better option.

“It was my fault.” Her words broke the tension. David returned his attention with a look of bewilderment. She was making it worse, she was adding onto the pain.

“No..’ David hiccuped, shaking his head rapidly, “Y/N it’s not.”

She cursed under her breath, “David, it was.” Her tone had gone from shaky to almost furious, “I allowed myself to fall for you, to develop deep rooted feelings for someone who had never shown any sort interest towards me. I created my own world where you actually loved me!” Y/N snapped, cheeks somehow managing to flush despite the temperature, “I loved you..and you didn’t love me, and it’s not your fault."

Taking a step back she physically began to distance herself from her but David recognized it as more: She was trying to distance herself from him completely.

“It was mine.” They both paused on the pavement and stared. Silence. 

What else was there to say? What other words could be spoken to fix this emotional mess before and between them? 

There weren’t any.

“W-What,” The word shifted to smoke the moment it escaped, trailing up slowly before evaporating into the winter air. She stood there, still three feet away, with the same still look on her face. 

David bit his lip, suppressing the wave of emotion rising timidly in his chest into his throat. 

“What happens now?” He finally managed to speak. 

The tears welled up between his lashes, the liquid slowly beginning to blur his vision. But he could still see her, still see the figure of a girl who loved him in a way he didn’t love her. 

She stared..and stared..and stared until his skin began to itch once again. ‘Say something’ he cried within his subconscious, ‘Please..say something.” 

Y/N shoved her hands into her pockets and narrowed her eyes. 

“I don’t know.”

Suddenly she was turning on the heel of her boot, the movement drawing marks in the snow as she did a full 180—back now facing David. Without another moment wasted she started walking, through the snow underneath the fluorescent street lights.

And with every step she took, that burning itching feeling that David had been feeling since they started talking began to fade. 

But if it was for the best…he would never know.