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elementale · 5 years

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According to your “logic” being non binary (which is made up) means you’re neither male of female (makes no sense) so how the fucking shite can lesbians date them and still be lesbians?

Well, if you’re genuinely curious to know I’ll be more than happy to explain if you’re willing to listen.

Let’s begin with context and transgenderism itself. I think if nothing else we probably can both agree that at the very least there are different contexts where it might make sense to distinguish people based on what they were assigned at birth. For example, medically speaking, you don’t offer abortions to cis men; likewise, you typically wouldn’t offer testosterone blockers to a trans man beginning his medical transition.

Socially speaking however, the same cut and dry approach dealing in scientific and objective absolutes cannot always be used regarding differentiation by gender. A person who looks and acts like a woman or man will be assumed to be one of the two by a society comprising of cisgendered individuals; if the person in question seems ambiguous in gender, cis society can be noted to have a notorious history of responding with the kind of ignorance and/or anger that no small number of people have had to pay for in blood. Regardless of what gender a trans person may have been assigned at birth, they will at some point realize that, at least psychologically speaking, that prescribed gender simply doesn’t align with their reality as a person in some significant manner that may vary from person to person. The ensuing discomfort that can potentially result from the dissonance between the person’s inner and outer reality as it pertains to their gender is known as gender dysphoria, and it can take on several forms. Some trans people (mainly the transmedicalist crowd) will insist that the discomfort is a necessary element and a person is not trans without the brand of discomfort that will compel them to take hormones and medically transition, but that tends to lead into another set of discussions altogether.

With that established, here’s the concept of nonbinary as an ism. You know how everything can fit your definition of binary gender and corresponding sex if you just dismiss all exemptions to your rule as inconvenient aberrations? Apply the XX vs. XY binary medically and you would be dismissing a lot of chromosomal variant and intersex individuals in the process (and make no mistake; 1.7% of the people in the population may sound small but that is effectively still hundreds of millions of people worldwide who do not neatly fit a “males=XY testes and females=XX ovaries” model of biological sex) if that binary were the only legitimate model. Biologically speaking, there’s already a grey enough region to establish that the most effective model of gender distinctions would have to include people who may not fit the pink and blue boxes. So if medically and biologically there’s already some undeniable ambiguities that bring the unwavering authority of a strict binary into question, where do you think that leaves us socially? Socially - where matters have layers of nuance to them and tend to be even less cut and dry? While there are social expectations on men and women that vary from culture to culture, a constant is that these rules and expectations are socially made and culturally imposed. When people say “gender is a social construct” it might be best understood that what makes the statement true isn’t that gender itself is inherently social in its construct, but rather that the social side of gender and the rules that come with it are socially changeable/pliable. GNC people are a great example of this in action: they break the rules prescribed by society regarding how they should be and express divergently. Non-binary identities are like GNC expression except unlike gender non-conformity in expression and practice, non-binary identities are more of an inner truth regarding gender identity itself. Since society at large has no place for the non-binary in its list of currently acceptable social genders, the rules to being non-binary are kind of non-existent right now; to express one such identity in a way that will register with a cisnormative society, individuals tend to choose gender non-conforming ways of expressing to get the memo across (this is not to say that NB people own GNC itself though). Medically speaking, NB people are as varied as they can be, and there are some for whom hormone therapy and surgery are part of their transition. Like with any other gender identity, there’s not much barrier to entry and the lack of any concrete way to go about being NB means people questioning their own gender are offered a conceptual space to explore being trans. For some folks, agender, genderfluid or demi-boy/girl fit like a glove; others realize it’s just not for them and either realize they’re trans binary later down the line, or realize they were cis all along - absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Non-binary identity does still remain a reality of a lot of people’s gender however whether or not you agree with that. I’m genderfluid myself and while being afab means I am medically recognized as female, I am genderfluid in every other relevant aspect of my life. It’s not a dysphorically-spurred thing for all NB people, but for me it actually is: for example, I have a gender confirmation class surgery I would like done at some point. Since I’m demi-ro and pan I personally don’t really have to think all that hard about any real gender-imposed limitations over what my orientation may entail, but here’s the thing regarding lesbianism as I currently understand it.. it’s not so much about wlw for the body as much as it is the lady in question. By including trans men as people who lesbians can be attracted to, there’s a gender ambiguous element one may inadvertently introduce in that if that were part of the definition. I’m going to assume you got here after having seen one of my responses to that one @empanado-feliz post, and the problem with restricting lesbian to afab people is, as I’d mentioned there in a later reply, that it is a definition that fails to account for and thereby excludes people like intersex lesbians and trans women who it should be accounting for (not to mention how transphobic it is to include trans men in that considering how most if not all of them are trying to reintegrate into society as men). Also expression in a femme fashion isn’t something exclusive to afab persons; women are not attracted to amab trans people because of their anatomy, they love the person and sometimes that person - binary or NB - carries themselves in a viscerally womanlike way. I’m not a lesbian so I’m not really someone who could explain it as effectively as a lesbian who’s had that as a lived experience, but I do know that it’s simultaneously more multifaceted and simpler than a lot make it out to be.

In conclusion, thanks to how ambiguous and multifaceted things regarding gender can be, gatekeeping the identities of lesbians who date non-binary individuals (regardless of whether they are afab, amab or intersex - something that is no one’s business but their own by the way) regardless of how they express helps no one. If nothing else I hope this does offer some food for thought at the very least.

#thanks anon

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abouttogetdicey · 5 years

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Hi! With the utmost respect, may I ask a question? I saw a tv show with a nb character; they fall in love with a girl and describe themselves as gay. But being gay means liking people of your own gender, and a nb person liking a female is not gay. Am I wrong? I really don't want to be offensive, I just want to understand. The way I see it, a nb can only be gay if they like other nb's, if they like a girl/boy they're straight (?) sorry if this is too much, hope you can explain.

HI! Thank you for your candid ask. I promise you, this is not offensive. I’ll do my best to explain and hope you understand and accept my explanation!

NB is tricky and each person’s understanding of the term differs, so understand that I only speak for myself and those with experiences similar to me. Also understand that a lot surrounding identity is semantics and mileage may vary. The reason for discourse is that this all surrounds our identities and that is so very personal, so there will be disagreements and different interpretations for everyone.

Lets start with gender and sex. Gender is a prescribed presentation, behaviors, and expectations assigned to people, frequently based on their assigned sex, which typically presents in one of two ways. This differs from culture to culture, but is typically split between man and woman.

Now: for me and others, non-binary is how we see our selves in relation to gender. We are neither man nor woman. We straddle a line somewhere between the two that can fluctuate or vary, which makes us closely aligned with genderqueer and/or genderfluid people. We have appearances or behaviors or something that makes us feel as though we are not in alignment with our assigned gender role based on our sex. Most people feel this disparity to some degree (such as tomboy girls, or soft men), but for non-binary people, we feel this more keenly, often to the point of dysphoria.

Non-binary is on the same spectrum as trans.To further discuss: being NB, I have no desire to change my body. I am trans, but not in the sense that I desire a mans body. I like my breasts and genitals. Some of my secondary sex-characteristics cause me some body dysphoria and dysmorphia but for the most part, I am content with me. This differs from many (though not all) trans people, who can find great discomfort with their physical sex and seek to present in a way that is aligned with the gender opposite their assigned sex. men or women. I want to be in between? For me Non-binary = Me and my presentation

So, what then of sexuality? Well, this is where personal preferences in partner come in. It is what attracts me. I prefer people who are AFAB or are woman aligned. This can be like my fiance, who is AFAB, NB and butch presenting. They have a female body and were raised as a girl, but present and live in an androgynous fashion. It can also be cis-gendered femmes and butches who use she/her pronouns, or even trans women of any presentation. Essentially, what I am sexually attracted to is anyone who is aligned with womanhood, be that as simple as being AFAB or someone who identifies with a woman. Thus, I call myself a lesbian.

A big part of this ‘lesbian’ identity for myself is aligned with the fact that I am AFAB and was raised as a girl. My life experience is aligned with women. I know what women experience day to day. I find myself seeking people who are also aligned with this world. Hence, Lesbian.

AMAB people who have not transitioned, trans men, cis-men: I am not attracted to them. There is something about the world and bodies of men that I do not find arousing. So I can’t really call myself bi or pan because I am not attracted to those people.

So, the TLDR is: NB is my gender and how I present. Lesbian is who I find myself wanting to bone! Hope this helps!

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cleosahar-blog · 5 years

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hlo i’m ari and i'm 20 and use whatever pronouns! atm i like she/her or they/them, and i’m in the est timezone. i’m back with my evil shitbaby hope u enjoy

(female ) haven’t seen CLEO SAHAR around in a while. the MEDALION RAHIMI lookalike has been known to be (+) TACTFUL & (+) OBSERVANT, but SHE can also be (-) CUNNING & (-) TEMPERAMENTAL. The 21 year old is a SENIOR majoring in ART HISTORY. I believe they’re living in PEREGRINIS but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. ( ari. 20. est. she/they. )

+ dark lipstick, dried flowers, black marble, the dead of winter, cigarette dropped in a glass of wine, candles left burning for hours, lighter touching a tongue, scribbled notes

her pinterest board!

tw mental illness

cleora “cleo” sahar is textbook slytherin. born to a russian woman too smart for her own good, named with something archaic via her mother’s fascination with everything grecian, cleo was basically born to be the personification of a nightshade. growing up in new york city didn’t particularly help her not-so-subtle erudite qualities, most specifically granted to her mother’s work as a professor at columbia university.

her father is an iranian immigrant who had enough charm to convince her mother to go on a date with him after three tries. her mother, nikita, always loved to tell this story.

cleo resembles her mother in many ways. from a cutting stare to her obsession with control, cleo had always wanted to be like her mother -- erudite to the point of possessing the ability for world domination. because of this, she was a bit of an elitist growing up, able to go to a good all girls private school on scholarship (not that she needed it), which led her to lockwood.

truly a wildcard and has this strange anger that’s been inside of her since she was a child. like a bomb that hasn’t completely detonated. on one hand, she was never able to completely relate to the girls at her high school, who were a bit scared of her because she seemed to be constantly seething.

fascinated w mythology, art history, film, etc

extremely sarcastic and cold most of the time. her familial pressures were enough to make her household tense, and the largeness of new york never allowed her to keep many intimate relationships or friendships growing up

has a god complex that she doesnt like to admit

uses her beauty to her advantage in most situations n has a reputation of a heartbreaker ever since she realized that all the boys from the public school downtown would ogle her on weekends

she isnt as reckless as the usual femme fatale — there’s this refined edge to her. like a glowing flame that never truly goes out

a scorpio..... ???? i literally cnt decide this is subject to change bt her personality? stereotypical scorpio perhaps

she was classically trained but ended up sticking to guitar/bass, is very talented and her tendency to be drawn to harder rock music/punk from her uncle landed her in a band in her freshman yr (think fiona apple/mysterious frontwoman of every 90s rock band/i was definitely influenced by the lead singer of crumb when i saw them live lol)

honestly an enigma like even her close friends are usually like [waka flocka okay gif] when talking abt her bc she’s a mystery in the sense that no one is truly close to her

exclusively wears red and black

winter is her favorite season

prone to depressive episodes extremely easily and if she can’t get her alone time she will go Absolutely Batshit

voted Most Likely To Slit A Man’s Throat in high school (an unspoken award)

bisexual bc who comes out of a girls private school straight

moral compass? questionable. she’s not one to be the most reckless simply because she doesn’t care enough for the thrill the way her peers do, but she’s been known to be a kleptomaniac in her younger years for the sake that she was damn good at it. very passionate about palestinian rights, women’s rights, etc. so her morals align with her good politics but her bad attitude and irreverence for authority has made her… slightly anarchist… although she thinks all that is dumb re: leftist boys she’s met

her intelligence makes the world limitless and her passion for art and music only confuse her intentions for her future... it’s like her ambition is on overdrive towards something intangible n cleo has a constant fear of grasping at straws bc of pressure from her mom

constant need for power n control due to her upbringing n probably some undiagnosed ocd... she has irrational problems that are more obscure in terms of what she needs to have control over bt she tells literally no one abt these

literally has an elaborate pocket knife in her bag at all times

WANTED CONNECTIONS

exes; people who have felt the brunt of cleo’s coldness and/or wrath. most likely on bad terms or she truly jst... does not have the mind to care abt them

the odd ex that she actually does care abt?? their relationship is... strange but if opportunity came she wld not say no to hooking up

fwb/hookups; u kno the drill... we love power play n unrequitedness n the confusion of who likes who more bring the angst 2 me!!!

unrequited crush?? cld go both ways... maybe someone who sees cleo so often that she’s jst curious enough to keep them around / someone who’s pining for her but she enjoys the game / someone she likes v easily (uncommon) n she truly.. doesn’t kno how to cope

NEMESIS

childhood acquaintance that cld be fwb or hookup or weird friend...or something.. idk.. cnt decide if her cleo’s mother is a prof or someone in academia yet bc if so then this person cld be a child of one of her colleagues?

all friends any type welcome pls she’s so stone cold that she needs 2 loosen up... ive written a gd VILLAIN in my head

#water:intro #i copy pasted this bt tweaked it a bit god that was... a doozy #like or msg for plots <3

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lettucetacoboatsix · 5 years

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Loving "Othered" Bodies: A Look at Sexual Body Diversity, Objectification, and Fetishization

Recommended Reading:

If you're looking for anything substantial, sorry, you're not going to find it here. What literature that does exist on this topic are sole-perspective ethnographies, and all of the ones worth reading that I was able to find were from the vantage point of a marginalized individual who has become fed up with body fetishization in their sexual interludes and relationships. That being said, here are the links to a few of those articles:

“What Everyone Should Understand about Dating a Trans Woman” by Tallulah Eve

“5 Signs You’re About to Be Racially Fetishized” by Maiysha Kai

“They Aren't Just Preferences: Questions Around Attraction, Objectification, and Fetishizing” by Tyler Austin

“Trans Women and Femmes Speak Out About Being Fetishized” by Eva Reign

“Feminism 101: What is Festishization?” By Laura Jue

“Disabled Sexuality and Disempowerment Through Fetishization” by s.e. Smith

“The Fetishization an Infantilization of Trans Men” by Seth Katz

Recommended Viewing:

Pose

Bubblegum

After talking at length about consensual non-monogamy, we will be changing directions this week and next and looking at some broader topics: body diversity and sexual safety. Both of these topics present a challenge in balancing general information with best practices because there is just so much to talk about, but I hope to present the information within these posts as a starting point, a gentle shove in the right direction, for you and your lover(s) to engage in your sexual relationship together from a foundation of mutual respect and understanding. So… away we go!

Before We Begin:

First off, can I just say that I hate lumping everything that we're going to talk about into one category? Great. I hate that I am lumping everything that we're going to talk about into one category. It's problematic. It relies on the notion of the fabled norm. And it puts a whole bunch of people who are already being marginalized in some way into one group, and in doing that, it minimizes what people deal with day in and day out.

So why are we doing it this way? Well, for one, it makes the topic manageable, and this topic is definitely worth talking about, even if we're just giving a very general overview. It also serves to highlight just how widespread this issue is and hopefully shines a little light on how making assumptions or having certain expectations can really hurt someone.

Another reason is that it hopefully drives home the point that there is no one way to effectively engage sexually with another person, with any body, our own included. Bodies are diverse and beautiful. They are the physical form of a complex and wonderful person, and each body needs to be treated with the respect and dignity it deserves. We need to understand that no two bodies are identical, and, even if they were, the body is only part of the sexual being. It is our mental and emotional connection to our body, partnered with the physicality and sensuality of the sexual act that really makes up our respective sexualities. If you're looking for a play-by-play guide on how to not fetishize someone, there are only a few things that we can share as blanket statements: treat everyone with dignity and respect; understand that people are people and not a means to achieve your sexual fantasies; listen to your lover (keeping that most communication is delivered non-verbally); always get consent and know that your partner can revoke their consent at any time; be patient and willing to adapt from your expectations (because it's nearly impossible, and would probably be a little dangerous, to enter into any given situation without any expectations).

Anything more specific than those general rules would necessarily be based on assumptions about the body and expectations based on your ideas and fantasies. So if you are looking for something along those lines, I would ask you to consider why you feel you need specific details. Are you looking for a shortcut to being a better lover? I appreciate your desire, but there really isn't one. If it's to trick someone into sleeping with you by avoiding key phrases, then I would argue that tricking someone in any way, shape, or form, in order to have sex with them negates their ability to be a willing participant (that is it prevents them from bring able to provide their informed consent, and is therefore assault). If that's really all you're looking for, be up front about it. There are individuals who are okay with that arrangement.

An Introduction to Fetishization:

Several paragraphs later, it's probably important to actually clarify what exactly we're talking about. In the most general terms, fetishization is the sexualization of an object (especially an object that is not normally sexual) in order to achieve sexual fulfillment. When kept strictly in the realm of objects, it's relatively innocuous and to each, their own. If you want to watch your partner pop balloons between their thighs and your partner is on board, then, by all means, you do you. Fetishes are neither inherently good or bad, and this post is not meant to be in any way, shape, or form about kink-shaming. As long as your sexual preferences do not rely on the removal of another’s sexual agency, you’re free to explore and embrace whatever you can with your sexuality. But I hope that you can see how that becomes problematic when the object is replaced with an individual whose sole purpose you've determined is to help you fulfill a sexual fantasy. It is objectification of the individual and the body taken to the extreme. It removes that person's ability to take an active part in the sexual action and removes their agency in the fantasy.

Fetishization of individuals can occur along the lines of any category of identity. Fortunately, there's been a lot of visibility given to racial fetishization and the fetishization of trans bodies recently, but there are definitely others that we tend to gloss over or even normalize, like objectification along the lines of age (almost every porn site has a category for barely legal teens, and most also have a mature, MILF, or step-mom category). We also tend to be okay with things that we can write off as parody (like fetishization of political leanings like the whole Nailin' Palin thing and the current alt-Right obsession with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez), which should be examined further. But, again, these can happen within any category of identity that is a perceived deviation from the "norm" (in Patrick Warburton's Lemony Snickett voice: a word, which, here, means white, cisgender, able-bodied bodies), including, but not limited to: age, disability, economic status, ethnicity, gender identity, political beliefs, race, religion, sexual orientation, and size (height, weight, body proportions, and, yes, even relative genital size for all you size queens out there). So realistically, more than half the planet. Now, this is not to say you cannot be attracted to someone for the way they align, or do not align, with your preferences among these identity categories; rather, it is to say that reducing any person to a check mark, or a few check marks, on that small list of boxes is, generally, not okay.

This isn't an admonishment against loving someone who is beyond your scope of whatever "normative" means to you. Nor is this going to be a discussion about the morality of the consumption of pornography (as long as it’s made ethically and is not at all exploitative, you’re welcome to watch whatever you want, including videos in thos aforementioned categories, just don’t force people to live up to that fantasy, especially if you’re not giving them a choice in the matter). We are all complex and wonderful beings, trying to lead the best lives we can, and it would certainly be lonely and naive, if not a little foolish, to think that the only person you could ever love is someone who aligns perfectly with that mythical norm. Taking a line from the post on polyamory, I want you to be open to love in all its forms and that means being open to allowing others to take part in that love the way they want to.

Is Fetishization ever Okay?

Generally speaking, in vanilla, day-to-day sexual encounters: emphatically no. Fetishization and objectification are not okay. But there is one instance in which that answer might change, and that is in the case of negotiated scene play, in which all participants discuss and agree to highlight that fetishization as part of a sexual encounter in order to role play or call attention to some form of power dynamic, so it's a kind of consensual fetishization, but it's still important, especially if those differences are real and not just fantasy, that safe words and gestures are utilized if any lines are crossed. This includes more kink-related things like age play, race play, feminization, master/slave relationships etc. But the key elements here are that there is an acknowledged end to the scene and that those terms have been negotiated.

And this type of fetishization can be super beneficial for all participants. I've mentioned my research about using BDSM and power play to help recover from sexual trauma, so imagine the emotional release involved in acting out a race play revenge fantasy for someone who has lived through racial injustice, or a reversal of the power dynamic for a transwoman to be able to safely take on the role of dominating and feminizing a cishetero, alpha-male type. Again, these scenarios are not for everyone, or even for most, but they can be powerful and even transformative experiences. They can bring about a sense of renewal and rebirth, and if there was a traumatic sexual experience in the past, re-enacting a similar scene or the reversal of a scene with clearly negotiated power dynamics and rules can bring closure, understanding, and healing. But they need to be talked about before you take it upon yourself to immediately go into your own power play at the expense of your sexual partner’s agency.

But now that all of that is out of the way, let's take a look at fetishization within the confines of some of those identity categories, how to reasonably recognize and address ways of thinking that might lead to fetishization, and provide some guidelines for engaging in a sexual relationship for people who happen to be "othered" in regards to their bodies and experiences.

Racial Fetishization

Fetishization disproportionately affects people of color, which, unfortunately, isn’t all that surprising. Fetishization is the objectification of the body as a means to fulfill a sexual fantasy, and white people have been objectifying people of color for a long time; whether for a sexual purpose or as slave labor is somewhat immaterial. The focus has always been on bodies of color and how those bodies can, in some way, shape, or form benefit white society. We see it in historical examples like in the case of Sara Baartmen, one of at least two women of African-descent who were paraded around Europe as sideshow/freak show attractions in the 19th century, under the name “The Hottentot Venus,” because of her bodily proportions. We see it in the world of professional sports, and how the minute that women and men of color use that platform to make some form of political stance, they are reprimanded and taken out of the spotlight by powerful, old, white men. And we’re all aware of this phenomenon to some extent because it’s the basis of Jordan Peele’s Get Out, and that awareness is why the film was successful. Those who fetishize people of color don’t see them as romantic partners, or even whole people, but simply as sexual objects. They strip them of all the characteristics that make them complete and unique, reducing them to the colour of their skin.

This racial fetishization commonly manifests by solely focusing on certain stereotypes associated with a race. This can run the gamut from ‘big butts’ of black women to the ‘submissiveness’ of Asian women to the hypersexualization of Latinx men and women. While many who express interest in these qualities expect it to be taken as a compliment, it isn’t. It’s not okay to tell a woman of color that you love her “light-skinned pussy” while going down on her, or calling your Latinx lover a Mayan god (if you do this, I firmly believe they are allowed to throw you head first into a cenote. See you in Xibalba!) Those were real examples provided in some of the articles I read, and I hope you can see how those might be offensive. Declaring that you are attracted to someone because of the color of one’s skin or a racial stereotype is not flattering; it’s just another form of objectification and sexual colonialism/imperialism.

It’s dehumanizing and objectifying. It’s systemic oppression in full force to maintain power over marginalized individuals by denying them their humanity and demanding that their sexuality is solely for the pleasure of others. And although this perceived power differential mostly benefits white men, there are plenty of white women who also fetishize their lovers along the lines of race, and this isn’t exclusive to heterosexual relationships. If her dating profile says she only fucks Black men, then she’s actually saying she only fucks Black men.

It’s sexualized racism. If you believe you are entitled to a particular vision of a person of color in order to fulfill your sexual fantasy, you are stating that no matter how the relationship is formed or where the relationship goes, they are not an equal. They are not a partner. They are a stand-in for your own beliefs. This fetishization is not a healthy attraction and it cannot lead to a healthy relationship; giving the benefit of the doubt to someone you believe means well is not always warranted.

Detecting Racial Fetishization

Fortunately, there are some ways to detect the potential for racial fetishization, but the number one way is to ask race-related questions, like “Have you ever been with a black girl before?” If their answer is something along the lines of “Yes. In fact, I only date black girls,” or “No, but I’ve always wanted to,” you know that they’ve already brought a certain set of expectations to being with you. Likewise, if they show an over-enthusiastic, unsolicited appreciation for “urban culture,” they’re not trying to impress you; they’re trying to tell you that you should like them because they get it, right? This includes disguising themselves as allies to the cause, in order for you to let your guard down. It might sound like that level of manipulation would be ridiculous, but it does happen. If that’s all they want to talk about and they expect you to be right there with them at every single protest all the time, chances are they are using you as a pawn in some sort of game to prove that they’re not racist. Anything that shows they are coming to the table with assumptions about who you are as an individual simply based on their observation of your skin color, which is in itself an objectification through the gaze, is a good indication about whether or not they might objectify you in this manner.

But how do I not fetishize people of color?

If you’re worried that you have fetishized people of color or might accidentally fetishize people of color at some point in the future, remember that as long as you’re actively attempting to recognize that all people possess an innate dignity and that all people are people, and are therefore worthy of love and respect, you’re on the right track. Decolonizing our minds is a life-long effort. No matter how hard we work to check our privilege, inevitably racial conditioning rears its ugly head, and we are faced with problems, perceptions and biases we thought we had tackled a long time ago, and that’s to be expected. Society fucks everyone up, but you can still train yourself to recognize those thoughts or biases and to not immediately act on them. That’s not to say that being “woke” some of the time is a carte blanche to have racist thoughts all the time; it is something you have actively work to correct.

Fetishization of People with Physical Disabilities

Yes, people with disabilities are still sexual beings. No, you aren’t doing them any favors by seeking them out because you heard that sex with a one-legged woman was absolutely mind-blowing (Seinfeld…). Like with racial fetishization, the fetishization of people with disabilities is rooted historically, and, specifically, has often been aligned with the entertainment industry. In the Middle Ages, people with physical and/or intellectual impairments played an important role in the royal courts as fools or jesters, where they were “allowed” a sense of satirical freedom, and at least during the 13th century, would often perform naked for royalty. This objectification of bodies with disability was once again brought to the forefront with the vaudevillian sideshow acts of the late 19th and early 20th centuries (this is an over-simplification, and those entertainment circuits did allow people with disabilities to support themselves in ways that usually were not afforded to them, but they did also depend on the exploitative nature of crowds and the gawking gaze), most obviously with Chang and Eng Bunker and the Hilton Sisters. And the fetishization of bodies with disabilities does very much still occur. This type of objectification, however, is typically easily identifiable, because people who have inclinations towards this type of fetishization, called “devotees,” tend to be focused on one particular impairment (e.g. people who are only sexually interested in people in wheelchairs), and their history of sexual partners generally points to a pattern, and, again, any act of fetishization that reduces a person to one aspect of their physical body is not okay.

The bodies of people with disabilities are already dehumanized and marginalized in our society; this fetishizing only furthers this dehumanization. It’s not even about the attraction to the disability, it’s about the perception of weakness and helplessness and the assumption that the person with the disability somehow needs you. The problem is the sexualization of disability itself and the treatment of people with disabilities as sex objects. Again, this isn’t to say that it’s impossible for someone who is able-bodied to love a person with a disability. Because of this aspect of their identity, people with disabilities know how to overcome challenges that many of us don’t ever have to think about, and perseverance and resourcefulness are both really attractive qualities, but if that attraction is based on the perceived neediness of an individual with a disability it is a confirmation that that relationship will never be between equals.

Fetishization of Transgender Identities

While racial fetishization tends to rely on histories of colonial and imperial oppression and stereotypes, the fetishization of transgender identities is focused more on the individual commiting that act of objectification rather than the person being fetishized. It’s an obsession with anatomy and questions of one’s own sexuality. It’s objectification to the point where the body of desire isn’t even considered as anything beyond a means to satisfy a curiosity. And this isn’t exclusive to binary trans identities, though objectification of transwomen and transmen may be more recognizable; it also affects people who are non-binary, androgynous, and gender non-conforming, as well.

If racial fetishization is sexual racism, then it follows that the fetishization of trans* bodies is sexual transphobia. And while there are certainly people who will announce that they are transamorous or interested in sexually pursuing individuals who are trans, transphobia can also come under the guise of faux positivity. It’s insidious and manipulative, but a lot of people who express this desire to sexually engage with transbodies learn how to masquerade as allies. What’s worse is that these individuals also often try to make it seem like they are doing you a favor by being attracted to you and throwing themselves at you. But even the term “transamorous” removes the agency from the person being “desired.” It equates transwomen as feminine bodies with a penis and transmen as masculine bodies with a vulva, and, even though this might not even be the case, it reduces both to sexual objects. And the transgender aspect of a person’s identity is only part of a whole. It may very well be a key part of that identity, but people are not two dimensional characters in your fantasies. Again, this is not to say that you cannot love or be attracted to someone who is trans, but if your attraction is solely based on the objectification of a trans body, then we have a problem.

Detecting Fetishization of Transgender Bodies

Like with racial fetishization, the best indicator that someone is fetishizing your body’s status as being transgender is their fixation on that part of your identity. Are they asking questions about your progress in your transition? Are they demanding that you tell them what your dead name was? And again, are they “supportive” beyond what you’re comfortable with, inserting themselves into your legal or medical history? Unfortunately, these point to a set of very strict expectations, and if you fail to live up to those expectations, it can be dangerous. Not only is it possible for an errant touch or a hurtful phrase to trigger feelings of dysphoria, but often times, this failure to live up to an expectation can end in very real physical violence.

I’m Dating Someone who is Trans and Don’t Want to Do Something Wrong:

Again, as long as you’re acknowledging that the person you are with is a fully-recognized human being beyond just their anatomy and this aspect of their identity, you’re on the right track, but the reality is that, because “transgender” is an umbrella term, there is a great deal of variety within the trans experience, and therefore a lot of variety when it comes to transbodies. There isn’t any one way to correctly love a person who is trans. Try to limit your expectations for any physical intimacy and let things happen naturally if it gets to that point. Be open and honest about your relationship, don’t hide it away from the world. This is, after all, a person and not some dirty little secret. And don’t treat the experience like a science experiment or a litmus test for your sexuality. Being with someone who is trans has no impact on your sexuality and is really not anything to be ashamed of. If you identify as a cishet guy and you are attracted to a woman only to later find out the she happens to be trans, guess what? She's still a woman, and you are still a cishet guy. It's weird that people focus on what is, or is not, in between someone's legs. We all have parts that interlock with others' parts, and we're all pink on the inside. Why is genitalia a deal-breaker for you, when everything else about the person is wonderful and beautiful and moments before you were attracted to her? We, as a society, need to start raising the bar above just treating folk who are trans with a base-level of respect as a sign that we’re good people because it's really not that difficult and not that complicated.

In the event that your relationship does become physically intimate and you’re nervous about what to expect, ask your partner to take the lead. This doesn’t mean they have to take on a dominant role, but allow them to set the pace, if you’re unsure. Let them guide your hand, your mouth, whatever. Again, being with any person for the first time is a moment of sexual exploration, and a great means for the exploration is mutual masturbation, if you’re both up for that. Watching your partner explore their own body, or holding them as they touch themselves and learning how their body reacts can be a very erotic experience. And if neither of you is really into voyeurism or exhbitionism whatsoever, you can engage in sexually explicit conversation. Pay attention to what words your partner uses and which ones they avoid. Learn how to communicate effectively with your partner to avoid phrases that might trigger a negative reaction, and remember that a large portion of communication is non-verbal. There are very clear differences between an aroused, quick inhale and a frustrated sigh or ceasure of breath. Likewise, there is a difference between an excited shiver or an arching of the back to meet your touch and a wince from a hand passing over a part of the body that might cause a feeling of dysphoria, but remember, even if you’ve been with someone who is trans in the past, there is no universal transgender experience of sensuality. As with any lover and any body, it takes getting to know your partner.

Another thing you can do is to expand your understanding of the things that you find sexy. No lover is ever going to be a perfect fit for any given sexual fantasy. By learning what turns you on, you not only learn to communicate your desires effectively to your partner, but you also give your partner a chance to show their affection for you effectively. If your partner is presenting as masculine and is wearing a binder, but you have a thing for lingerie and undressing your partner, don’t force them or even ask them to remove their binder if it’s not something they’re offering. Instead, you could give them your dress shirt and help them to button it up. The clothing is still a part of the scene for you, and you get to go through the sensuality of dressing your partner, which might very well be a new experience for you. And at the end of it all, it shows your partner that you understand something that might cause them discomfort and are actively trying to meet them on their level, and you get to see that person wearing your clothes, which can be its own erotic little experience. Again, that’s not to say that all transmen or people who are non-binary and are at that moment presenting as masculine are going to find that endearing or sexy, but it’s about compromise and sexual negotiation and it shows you’re paying attention to your lover’s needs, and there isn’t much in this world that is sexier than that.

Is that everything?

Certainly not, and, again, I hate to present the material in this way, but it is too broad of a topic to try and cover all at once and it’s too important a topic to not cover at all. This is the starting point of the conversation. Like we said at the beginning, fetishization of an object is really neither good or bad; it is simply the manifestation of sexual attraction, but there is certainly a problem if you apply that mindset to individuals and reduce them to sexual objects to fulfill your own sexual desires without their informed consent. This type of fetishization can really occur along the lines of any identity category and is certainly not limited to the three we went into above. If you’re interested in this topic, please read the articles that I included under recommended reading. If you ever need someone to talk to, I am here for you. If you would like me to go into more detail or think I got something wrong, tell me or send me an anonymous ask!

With love, friends.

#fetishization #sexuality #objectification #transgender #racial fetishization #disability

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usagidatta · 4 years

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gender thoughts-

for a long time ive thought on yhe fact that it doesnt make sense to me the concept of same sex/genital attraction. although you can make a guess, you can't tell what genitals someone has, only secondary sex characteristics, which to me are the basis of attraction. for example i saw someone say oh?? just bc i see a person who looks like a woman and have a v*gina say they're a trans guy does that make me bi?? words don't change sexuality!1!2

no, it makes you attracted to femme presenting people, which historically and usually align with a certain sex (really sex SIDE since sex isn't binary but yk)

like. same reason that if you see a dude who passes really well for a woman, that doesn't make you bi for being attracted to them

brain saw woman so you think mm woman.

this goes into transness. trans woman are woman, and unfortunately bc of our sexed world, to be seen as that, you have to present as such. but the concept of woman is just that. a concept. it doesn't make it fake or have no bearing or importance bc it does, but woman has no tangible definition besides being sex based which is

wonky again bc sex isn't binary, and ofc gender isn't sex. so! if a lesbian is being all, i'm not attracted to men!!11!1! being a terf like. whos gonna tell them they're really just not attracted to ppl who they perceive to be masculine? imo there's nothing wrong w that. bc plenty of transwoman and transguys pass to be found attractive by monosexuals who like that sex. they're not being tricked, or fooled like.

you're still attracted to that combination of secondary sex characteristics that signal woman. however if you don't care abt those secondaries then i think that really is the measurement of bisexuality. bc a gay man finding an afab who identifies as a woman but passes perfectly as a man attractive isn't bisexuality. but i think this works IN TANDEM with identity. bc there are masculine women and feminine men who may or may not let into their secondary sex characteristics but are still attracted to by monosexuals. so.. what differences does the genitals make?? if that's a woman then that's a woman yk and the line can get blurred but idk god i'm just word vomiting

this also goes into my thoughts that you can't be attracted inherently to nonbinary people because there's no associated secondary sex characteristics no presentation to signal gender?? androgyny isn't that bc that's not inherently enby, however one CAN be inherently attracted to androgyny, and most ppl are

which only further my idea the attraction isn't and can't be genital based. its all perception based. if you're into guys, and you perceive someone as one you're probably gonna be into them if they're attractive. this is why unfortunately gender performance is a thing i think?? wanting to properly convey yourself even though your identity isn't invalidated by appearance. but also like

why would you want to be with someone who aligns with the characteristics you find attractive if they don't identify as that??? does that not automatically rid of attraction for anyone else is that just me.

but then ofc i also think sexuality is fluid and love can make it so the rules can bend a little on your definition of your sexuality.

also just wanted to mention that secondary sex based characteristics do NOT equal sex and. id hope we all know that but yk

bc it isn't exact it's more like brain collecting info based on the shit you've received your whole life. but it isn't perfect and trans and intersex ppl as well as ppl with mixed or different hormone levels exist. which influence sex based characteristics and thus are not intrinsically tied to genitals or genetics/chromosomes

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femmesfollesnebraska · 5 years

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Artist feature: Laila Rezai

Laila Rezai shares with LFF how she came to be an artist, how feminism plays a role in her work and more.... All images (c) Laila Rezai.

Where are you from? How did you get into creative work and what is your impetus for creating?

I’m originally from Tehran, Iran but grew up in Northern Virginia after the revolution and have spent the last 20 years in Northern California. I basically stayed on the same latitude line and kept moving West.

The beginnings of exploring my creativity with greater commitment took place when I went to art school in pursuit of an MFA in graphic design from the Savannah College of Art and Design in the late 90s. Designing and making things were initially a means of making a living and choosing a vocation. Now I see that my creativity is in fact the language that I speak most intuitively, and is the way that I communicate and connect with the world.

Tell me about your current/upcoming show/exhibit/book/project and why it’s important to you. What do you hope people get out of your work?

I create new work on an ongoing basis whether I’m working on a commission or not, but am not currently working towards having a show. Being in the practice of art making is akin to playing an instrument. You have to be in the practice of your craft, in order to fully understand it, while striving for personal excellence. That pursuit is a process and not an end point. Making work as an ongoing process helps me stay close to what I’m making, so that I can understand what it wants to become, especially when that becoming doesn’t have a precedent.

I want my work to invoke curiosity, hope and accessibility for the viewer. I feel like I create art for people. Not for “some people,” but for people who are curious and hopeful. I’m very deliberate about not creating work that’s an extension of angst or my ego, because while I am the maker, it’s not about me.

Does collaboration play a role in your work—whether with your community, artists or others? How so and how does this impact your work?

Collaboration factors into my work when I’m working on a commission for a designer or a patron. I use a similar framework to when I’m working on branding projects with my clients. I want to understand the details of the story that we’re trying to tell, because it’s not just about aesthetics. It’s about using visual elements to craft a narrative that stirs certain emotions. Collaboration also factors into my work when working with framers or installers of my art. I usually have a sense of what I have in mind, but definitely ask for the opinions of those whom I respect, to get their thoughts. Working with others guides a path that often surprises me in a positive way. I like when designers push me to elevate something that we create together for their client. That there’s space to make several attempts at exploring and trying things out before committing to a direction that feels like what it’s supposed to be. Then it feels like a shared “win.”

Considering the political climate, how do you think the temperature is for the arts right now, what/how do you hope it may change or make a difference?

I think the arts exist within their own niche throughout the strands of historical time. Sometimes people misinterpret art as an element of luxury or something that’s not a “need.” And yet I would ask, can you live an enriched life without stories, inspiration, hope and joy? I can’t and so I create art that is an extension of those aspirations. Specifically in regards to politics, I feel like it’s a voice that’s so loud and divisive within our current culture, that it steamrolls over many things that I value far more, like the arts and culture. Politics is driven by big money and power, while the arts and culture are driven by passion and the heart. These two hold very different spaces and create very different things. I do think that the political climate and its divisive nature have tempered certain voices of creative expression, while activating others. I’m especially sensitive to the disproportionate representation and compensation of women in the arts. It feels very, 5000 years ago and is driven by the patriarchy.

Artist Wanda Ewing, who curated and titled the original LFF exhibit, examined the perspective of femininity and race in her work, and spoke positively of feminism, saying “yes, it is still relevant” to have exhibits and forums for women in art; does feminism play a role in your work?

Feminism is foundational to my work, but as it relates to my definition of it. I think of feminism as equality between genders specifically within the ecosystems of power, politics, compensation and opportunities. If the work of women in the arts was endorsed and financed within forums over the next 100 years, we still wouldn’t be fully caught up with the thousands of years of having hidden, dismissed, and undervalued the efforts of women in the arts historically. The disproportionate representation of male artists compared to women is on full display at every major museum of the world that showcases both genders. It’s so blatant that I found myself at the information desk at the Victoria and Albert museum two summers ago to ask, “Why don’t you represent more female artists?” The response I got back from the lovely young Italian woman at the desk was, “This is the way it’s always been.” For a moment I couldn’t believe that we were both willing to accept that in the moment. Her answer was grounded in patriarchy and I believe wholeheartedly in meritocracy, so we definitely were not in alignment in terms of our understanding.

My feminism shows up in my work daily by virtue of my commitment to my craft and what I consider my job. Regardless of what the political climate consists of or how pervasive the patriarchy impacts my relationship to the world, I will show up almost every day to do my work and when I am no longer alive, my work will hopefully be an ongoing conversation that will be had with people that I will never have met.

Ewing’s advice to aspiring artists was “you’ve got to develop the skill of when to listen and when not to;” and “Leave. Gain perspective.” What is your favorite advice you have received or given?

Some of the best advice that I received was from my high school cross-country coach who was also my AP Biology teacher. He said, “You race the way you practice.” Meaning that you have to show up for the work and do it with discipline and love so that you’re trying your best to move towards a space of individual excellence. That my expectations need to be matched by my efforts and the responsibility of the space between the two resides within me, void of excuses and external forces.

Along similar lines, my favorite quote regarding the arts from an artist who used to be a friend and passed away a few months ago is, “The artist does not simply hold a mirror to society. If the world now is greedy, the artist must be generous. If there is war and hate, he must be peaceful and loving. If the world is insane, he must offer sanity, and if the world is becoming a void, he must fill it with his soul.” -Russell Chatham

https://www.lailarezaiart.com/

Les Femmes Folles is a volunteer organization founded in 2011 with the mission to support and promote women in all forms, styles and levels of art from around the world with the online journal, print annuals, exhibitions and events; originally inspired by artist Wanda Ewing and her curated exhibit by the name Les Femmes Folles (Wild Women). LFF was created and is curated by Sally Deskins. LFF Booksis a micro-feminist press that publishes 1-2 books per year by the creators of Les Femmes Folles including the award-winning Intimates & Fools (Laura Madeline Wiseman, 2014) , The Hunger of the Cheeky Sisters: Ten Tales (Laura Madeline Wiseman/Lauren Rinaldi, 2015 and Mes Predices (catalog of art/writing by Marie Peter Toltz, 2017).Other titles include Les Femmes Folles: The Women 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 and 2016 available on blurb.com, including art, poetry and interview excerpts from women artists. A portion of the proceeds from LFF books and products benefit the University of Nebraska-Omaha’s Wanda Ewing Scholarship Fund.

Current prompt: What does being a womxn mean to you?

http://femmesfollesnebraska.tumblr.com/post/183697785757/what-does-being-a-womxn-today-mean-to-youyour

#feministart #womenartists

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quadratic-shipping · 5 years

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Kay, new icon is Vriska’s dice cause the gradient was lame, and every Vriska blog halfway to sunday has already had every photo of her face as their icon twice. It also works cause of yknow liking dnd and stuff. one thing I really liked about my last vriska pic one was the negative space made it feel like it popped and I feel like this one has sort of the same thing going for it. Wow, it can be that deep. I’m just rambling cause it’s 3am and yet again I have stayed up this long. I can;t wait til it’s winter again so I can force myself back into a normal sleep schedule. I stayed up all night a couple nights ago, and that gave me one decent night of sleep so I might just try that again tonight. Rest put under the readmore because it’s irrelevant and sleep deprived rambling I wouldn’t dare subject my beautiful followers and browsers to.

While I’m here, posting a late night thing no one will see or interact with; thank god; I was cleaning and I came across one of those neck warmer things that legit just a tube you pull up your face to keep your nose from freezing off because Canada Winters, I never can use them because I always fog up my glasses, and I just wanted to say that Niqabi gals with glasses are so brave? Legit if I had to deal with my glasses fogging up I’d die, I’d rather lose my nose to frostbite than fog them up (like I go outside enough loll) so for them to deal with that everyday is like, legendary. I mean, I guess if you were pretty antisocial you wouldn’t have to deal with it much but still, point totally stands.

While we’re on the positivity train? Lesbians? y’all really like Vriska HUH? Thank you for interacting, I appreciate, yall are so valid. I’m torn between “You have good taste” jokes and “Yall will just like anything w/ vriska in it” and either way it takes too strong a stance on my own content to feel good about it. Obvs goes the same way for all the NB and Trans ppl interacting, yall are also Excellent and I appreciate yall. Obvs I’m cis so I don’t have any real godtier takes or anything abt. gender, but reading your guyss stuff is excellent please keep making it.

Uh sexuality update; Still labelling as bi, IDK if I really want to date men tho, before I actually and FINALLY get a taste of the other side; please; because I feel like the problem with my relationships re; dudes is just that I can’t just be myself, I’m just 900000% in my own head about it and not even like; trying to be idealized, idk whats going on I just have a hard time connecting w/ them and it’s defo my fault so idk bro. IDK it’s fun to have crushes but dating is BORING from my very limited experience with only guys which is why a gf would be excellent. Or girl aligned partner. I feel like maybe what I’m attracted to is like, femininity, not necessarily femmes or women. IDK bruh it’s weird. doesn’t help I can’t even figure out how to get and keep friends LOLLL it’s 3am. Sorry

Honestly before I started vrisrose posting I felt so useless yknow cause in the vriska circles there are a lot of intelligent people who understand canon better and are overall smarter and better spoken so I just felt like everything I had to say was just old hat and not very interesting. But the thing I like about VrisRose is no one else is talking about it as frequently ( I was searching the tag and my blog came up in the recco’s for blogs up top and I was very happy) so I feel like, hey, this is my niche. That one engineer of useless inventions quote: The best way to become top of your field is to specialize:, I jsut love rarepairs so much! I think it’s such a great way to approach character analysis because no one exists in a vaccum so seeing peoples interactions and what people like is so fun!!!! I say, invalidating all my personal issues lollll

CHARACTER ANALYSIS! FUCK TALKING ABOUT INTERACTIONS OR ACTIONS ON THEIR OWN OR THOUGHTS OR HC’S, I STAND BY MY ONE TAAKO ‘vriska did nothing wrong’ QUOTE; Trying to understand what characters morals, and their opinions on certain things by analyzing their opinions and interactions in canon is 500x more productive seeming to me than other things. Like, say taako’s thoughts about vriska, V and Lucretia are p similar actions wise, and he was pissed at her but that was mostly cause of the personal connections, when it doesn’t affect him Taako doesn’t seem to have any moral objections to any of the icky moral stuff; think robot planet or whatevs where they were gonna genocide the place and lup was like no and that was like the only reason he didn’t I’m pretty sure, I’m not too big brained on taako or adventurezone either so don’t take my word; So I think that Taak’s would be chill with Vriska. Another thing? The Lucretia thing was like, giving up which Taako is not ok with and Vriska thigns were about not giving up so I do legit think he would be totally coool with her, even if she were real, unless obvs she hurt one of the seven bird red robe people and their new friends.

ISN;T THAT SUCH A FUN METHOD OF CHARACTER ANALYSIS? I’m not drunk or in an altered state just tired enthusiastic and with a lot of pent up thoughts. Speaking of which, this song just came on it’s “Slowdance with you” by the Marcus Hedges Trend Orchestra and it is SOOOOO good, it’s on a vrisrezi playlist I put on bc I’m rereading song of the pyre because it was vriska day and it’s super good soo so good. It’s on loop now, legit best

Quick detours before I lay out some more hs thoughts;

Overwatch:

-Ben “Captainplanet” came out w/ a new article and I LOVE IT so much and I want hhis job so bad I wanna get into stats so much ahhh please so good it’s giving me a , this is crude but it’s the best way I can phrase it, a math erection. I love math so much <33333333

-The Shock, my faves, are doing well and I’m happy for them! I hope they go 7-0, I believe in them! I’m lying I am so fucking nervous for literally every match they have they’re gonna 2-5 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Why am I so INVESTED? They technically could take first spot but that’s require titan’s to lose every match left and the shock to 7-0, but the thing is I thought that I wanted that but

-then I watched the titans london match today, and I HATED the thought of titans losing. And losing so hard to other teams too, and I didn’t realize this but I think I do actually kinda like the titans?The thought of them not being a great team makes me sad. I think it’s like I really like them and shock as rivals, yknow, stage one and two, then this upcoming map? If Titans aren’t still Good in this meta it just sorta makes their rivalry not fun. Kismesis vibes is what I’m gonna say cause I’m TRASSSHHHHH pls stop my terrible hands from typing also if I ever saw actual ship stuff I would kill whoever made it. Like I’m not gonna check their socials or anything but if they’ve got a match against most teams I’d probs root for them. The Wolf section today was so funny lollll

-I think I might hate the London Spitfire. I have literally no reason to? I think all the players are good and I like them as people and I would never actively hate on them? But I’m like. Really mean to them in my head. I was so satisfied seeing htem lose to Florida, and Titans like IDK? Also they’re hella overrated so anticlutch jfc. Hate the franchise, love the players if that makes sense. IDK WHYYYYYYYYYYY

-Also I’m gonna miss tomorrows shock match and I’m so scared rip.

Misc:

-Tripped backwards and somehow upturned my moms glass scale and it fell on my foot, that shit hurted.

-Oh My God I’m Projecting a million different things right now because I feel like this will not have an audience if you see this I’m begging you please don’t interact I’d die of embarassment keep the fact you’ve seen this a secret from me

HS:

-JFC song of the pyre is an excellent fic, I wish it would ever get updated it’s so fucking good guys

-I need to read more vrisrezi long form

-Non-sgrub vrisrezi is best vrisrezi

-My ideal Vrisrezi au would be like HS canon, diverge into non-sgrub and they completely fall out of touch, Killing Eve season 1, then Song of the Pyre. THAT is what I want.

-Killing eve season one and two would be an even BETTER VRISROSE AU AHHHHHH

-I once read a very good trollstuck rose but it was an eri-rose ship so basically what I want is that persons troll rose but paired with vriska. For how much I blog about it I’ve read very little vrisrose fic but almost everything I know comes from this fic. . Oh uh this is not the erirose fic that I read w trollstuck although it does unfortunately have erirose but I can excuse it when the vrisrose is this Excellent

Alright I’ve run out of hyper juice, have a nice night, sorry for posting thisssss

bye

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