#hoooooo shit i did it

[paintalyx]

sorry for posting so much personal stuff here lately, it's just that i've had to pull through yet another patch of navigating one difficult social situation after another, and it helps to put my thoughts down somewhere insignificant

[queen-of-reptiles]

𝙼𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙴𝚈𝚂𝙸𝙳𝙴 𝙳𝙴𝚁𝙱𝚈

description: In which Missy Bo Kearns and her partner are on opposite sides of a derby, and sometimes, rivalries run a little too deep.

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Missy Bo Kearns x female reader

disclaimer: I am in now way saying missy is bi-sexual or lesbian, this is all fiction

warnings: language, angst, also just fluff

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y/n just posted

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tagged missybokearns

y/n oh so we cute cute...

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username1: the calm before the storm...

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username2: what storm?????

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username3: It's Merseyside derby this weekend, missy plays for Liverpool, but y/n plays for Everton...

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username2: OH SHIT

missybokearns: Wow - cannot believe your mine ...

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y/n: ditto baby <3

clarewheelerr: CUTIES <33

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y/n: LIKE YOU

meganfinnigan1: slay

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y/n: thank you very much Captain

username4: considering how die-hard these two are for their teams, this weekend will be frosty...

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username5: They don't even stay in the same apartment the night before, Missy talked about it last derby day, she said to protect their relationship, one of them goes and stays with a team-mate

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username6: I respect the loyalty to the team, but is it worth putting their relationship on the line for?

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username7: For them? YES

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y/n just posted on their story

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missybokearns just posted on her story

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y/n just posted

liked by, meganfinnigan1, nathalieebjorn, and 120, 476 others

y/n come on you BLUES!!

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username1: COME ON EVERTON!!!!!

username2: I am so nervous!!!

username3: COME ON!!!

username4: LOVE YOU SO MUCH

meganfinnigan1: LETS GOOOOO

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y/n: YAYAYAYAYAYAY

nathalieebjorn: WHOOOOOO HOOOOOO

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y/n: AHHHHH COME ON !

username5: I'm so nervous omg!

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username6: why?

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username5: Because she and her girlfriend play against each other today and this is the first time since y/n's ankle injury they are doing so...

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username6: ahhhh okay.

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twitter/X

username1: did anyone see the way Missy wouldn't look at y/n?????

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username2: YES! I thought I was the only one who saw it! y/n looked so sad!

username3: Liverpool really gunning for y/n today!

username4: OMG did anyone see that?? Missy's awful tackle, how wasn't that a card?

username5: y/n looks like she's about to cry I can't!

username6: I feel like y/n's about to snap...

username7: WHAT A GOAL Y/N!!!!!!!!

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username8: AHHHHHHHHHH

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y/n sucked a breath in as she broke, her feet nudging the ball as Missy ran at her, but y/n was angry, she was hurt and so she simply dummied one way before turning the other, dragging the ball with the sole of her foot.

Missy was sent completely the blonde pretty much face planting as she went down, fooled by y/n's skilled move, the crowd all 'oooh'd' in shock, cheering as y/n sent her foot through the ball.

y/n paused, waiting before it soared into the top corner, Rachel Lawns merely getting a shocked finger to it. y/n let out a cheer of joy her teammates screaming as they jumped on her.

To have played 70 minutes 1-0 down, to have this happen was incredibly needed. Megan jumped on her shoulder, y/n's hands trying to stabalise her captain.

"You beautiful bitch!" Megan yelled and y/n laughed as they moved back to their positions.

All they had to do was not let Liverpool score. The team had not been expecting a win from this game, so to come away with a draw would be great.

The game re-started, Liverpool moving quickly, but Megan jumped in, intercepting the ball and passing it to y/n. The player turned, only to have two pairs of studs rip into her shin and thigh.

y/n essentially flew back, rolling onto her front and groaning as she looked up, eyes filled with hurt at Missy's face, who looked terrified of the tackle she had just made.

The blues hadn't even raised their hands before the ref had blown the whistle and reached into her pocket, bringing the bright red out in Missy's direction.

"Can you feel this?" The medic asked y/n, the woman still slightly dazed so she hadn't realised they'd even approached.

"Yeah, it hurts." y/n deadpanned, and the medics chuckled, used to her as they helped her up onto her feet.

"Nothing to bad squirt, just a few scrapes." The physiotherapist of the team Stephen said, as y/n joined him on the side of the pitch, begging to be let back on.

Eventually the ref let her back on, but a few minutes later blew the whistle and the draw was set. Liverpool set their heads down in annoyance, but y/n and the girls all cheered hugging.

The start to the season had been a tough one for Everton, they had suffered several annoying point losses, so any points they could scrounge were a blessing at the moment.

y/n was talking with Nicoline, the two having been the first changed as usual as they waited for their team and discussed the newest episode of Strictly.

Nicoline was looking slightly behind and her eyes hardened, her arms folded and she huffed as y/n turned to see her girlfriend waiting sheepishly in the corridor.

It was clear to y/n that she had been crying and any previous anger she held at her girlfriend for her actions on pitch immediately ran from her when seeing her teary eyes.

"I'll see you tomorrow Nico." y/n hummed, her teammate pausing as she looked back over at Missy. But y/n's reassuring smile made her nod and clasp her hand before walking away.

y/n and Missy walked to the car in silence, only a few cars being left now as they slid into the vehicle and waited for the other to speak awkwardly.

"Missy?" y/n asked kindly and her tone immediately made Missy break.

"I could have really hurt you." She says softly. "I was so mad, and I just went in and then you hit the ground. I'm so sorry." Missy rambles quietly.

"Hey, I'm okay." y/n hums, her hand reaching over to take Missy's. "We know how we get derby day, so I won't say any more on that and the tackle was rough yes, but it wasn't entirely intentional." y/n says calmly.

"I'm so sorry, I love you so much." Missy repeats and y/n sighs.

"I know Missy baby." y/n promises. "And I love you just as much, especially when you fall on your arse like that." She continues, hoping and succeeding in making her girl laugh.

"Hm, enjoy it now, it will never happen again." Missy promises and her girlfriend laughs, leaning over to capture their lips together, the blonde Liverpool player deepens it quickly, her hand tugging at y/n's shirt, pulling her closer.

y/n could hardly breath when Missy's tongue collided with her, the two trying their best to fight the other but eventually the kiss slowed and they pulled away softly, smiling at each other.

"Oi oi!" Megan yelled from outside the car and the two jumped apart, Megan howling as she grins at them.

"Fuck off." y/n yelled at her close friend who rolled her eyes and stuck her middle finger up before walking away.

"Home?" Missy asked, chuckling at her girlfriend's captain and her antics.

"Home." y/n confirms and Missy turns the car on.

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y/n just posted

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tagged missybokearns

y/n a point and a kiss, a good night if you ask me :)

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missybokearns just posted

liked by, y/n, rachellaws, and 209, 276 others

tagged y/n

missybokearns may have been a draw, but I won the best prize...

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twitter/X

username1: awwwwwwwwww - Missy and y/n's photos!

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username2: SO CUTE

username3: I'm surprised Missy is not in the doghouse after her tackle.

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username4: RIGHT? her red was such a ridiculous tackle and on her girlfriend no less.

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username5: yeah, like that is someone you say you love????

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username6: she clearly didn't mean it and was so apologetic to y/n afterwards, she was crying when she left, and not because of the red card.

username7: if y/n can forgive, your petty asses can too, it was a heated tackle in a heated game, forgive and forget!

username8: I'm still trying to get over y/n's equaliser honestly.

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username9: THE WAY SHE SAT MISSY DOWN

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username10: The way Rachel stood no chance????

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username11: We need y/n to join Liverpool tomorrow!!!! I would sell a kidney to make this happen people!

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missybokearns: I agree ! xx

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username11: HOLY SHIT

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y/n: Ya'll will never catch me in a liverpool shirt!

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missybokearns: I can think of a few instances you haven't minded ; )

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y/n: Now listen here you little shit!

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username12: HAHAHAHAHAHAH

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missybokearns just posted on her close friends story

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Missy smiled to herself as she heard her girlfriend singing along to the radio while she cooked them both dinner, yet as she posted the story she heard a clatter and sat up from the sofa worriedly.

"MISSY BO KEARNS." y/n yelled and Missy grinned cheekily.

"Shit!" Missy called as she raced toward the bedroom, her girlfriend right behind her, the story of her in a Liverpool shirt bright on her phone.

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END

Hope ya enjoyed lovelies!!! Thank you for all the requests - I am working my way through them, slowly however .... !! xx

this was supposed to be up a lot earlier but had a lil emergency which i managed to sort !!

-

Queenie xx

[daenerysstormreborn]

I’m actually enraged. This should’ve been a penultimate episode. They give us so much buildup and no payoff. Literally no lines for Rhaena. We waste all this time on Tyland fucking Lannister. Count your fucking days Hess and Condal. Baela in one scene. Rhaena and Baela fucking SURVIVE. They are some of the ONLY characters we actually know at this point in the show that do survive. If I remember correctly, they are TWO OF FOUR characters that we know so far (like we can’t count Rhaenyra’s children with Daemon. They are not characters yet). And one of those four was only introduced this season. And no lines for Rhaena. Not only did they axe Nettles and give her plotline to Rhaena, she spends the last two episodes not fucking speaking and just running through the Riverlands. Like you could make the case that they want to spend more time with characters who will die soon, but we also really need to give a shit about the characters who will survive or your audience won’t care when the time comes that we have only these underdeveloped characters left. And if it’s true that Sunfyre is dead????? Hoooooo BOY THEN WHAT? I do wonder how I’d feel about the show if I knew nothing of the book but I still think I’d be pissed off at the treatment of Rhaena and Baela. Because there are many things I can praise about the show but the examples of mishandling the material are SO DISTRACTING

[proshippers-against-censorship]

I'm back again with the same user's statement. This is in no way hating the user, it's just something to get you informed

Also, yeah I’ll name some more examples of why proshipping is just as bad as being an anti, from shit I’ve seen throughout my internet career:

Some proshippers will change the canon genders of certain characters, or even de-transition trans people to fit their narratives. Or change the established sexualities of characters altogether (i.e. making a gay person straight to ship with their self-insert OC).

A very common theme is many “proshippers” are pedophilic, racist, homophobic, etc.

Chris-chan. That’s all I can say.

Finally the big problem is, even if you yourself do not support pedophilia, incest, etc, full on proshipping only enables these things, as proship communities are an unfortunate breeding ground for grooming. Blocking or blacklisting tags of things you “don’t like” is not enough to stop total pieces of shit online. I take down pedos sometimes, I’ve seen this shit way too much, sadly.

Hoooooo boy, lots to unpack here.

1. My friend, changing genders and sexualities has been a thing since the beginning of fanfiction. And the lovely thing about headcanons and fanfic is that the canon still remains. Little Timmy genderswapping a character and making them a part of a polycule does not, in any way, affect the source material. If such thing upsets you, just filter the content away. Also, I've seen plenty of fics that de-transition and swap the sexualities of characters written from people who label themselves as antishippers.

2. That's just flat out untrue, lol. You've been misled by propaganda. Somebody with truly ill-will and intent to harm others often pretends to be completely separated from the 'harm reduction' sides of those communities.

3. Proshipping literally just means 'one who minds their own fucking business'. Trying to utilize the actions of one person to make others look like shitwads criminalizes many folks...more than likely including your own parents and many of the folks around you who also merely mind their own business instead of pissing themselves over fiction and going out of their way to harass and even doxx.

4. See point 2. I'll also note that I've seen a disproportionate amount of proshippers and folks distancing themself from the anti community report being groomed and attacked by antis, to the point that self-proclaimed antishippers dug up csam of a proshipper and utilized it to harass them. That's bad enough on their own, but perhaps we need to focus more on the fact that they knew how to acquire that content, and did not bat an eye at downloading it to weaponize.

[nfcv-saltmine]

this article is a fucking disaster but HOOOOOO THERE'S SO MANY THINGS WRONG IN THIS PARTICULAR AREA

Haha, like what? :) The fact that this is proof that they do not give a single shit about anything? :) Other than using pre-existent material to tell their own stories with their own characters? :)

It's funny, actually. This was meant to happen, when you think about it. The first Netflixvania created a legacy of "we know nothing about the source material so we do whatever the fuck we want!". Of course a sequel would follow that legacy... except now, the original show counts as "source material". :) That's what we call karma, guys. ❤️

No more needing a human to practice devil forging, now a machine can do it. Goodbye the devils forged being beasts with the intelligence of a dog, except for ONE fly-guy (wich the capacity to talk and reason is a mystery), and being very very loyal to their creator. Hello devils who can talk and sing and still have their human minds and are designed to be more humanoid and "beautiful" and who's loyalty to their master is feeble (even fly guy was loyal to isaac, but let's be fair, you can hardly be loyal to a fucking machine). Goodbye Morning Star, hello the random whip that we have to pretend is important now. Goodbye "lol crosses confuse vampires that's why it hurts them", hello "actually it DOES hurt them because crosses are holy". And hello... this.

I don't know if they are going to make a "haha your father was so dumb" joke about Alucard's name in the show itself. It wouldn't surprise me, I can easily see Richter say it and Alucard glaring at him in a "god you still think you're funny" way. :) But honestly, whether or not they do it, it doesn't matter. Because this right there... this is the proof that Bradley don't care. This is the proof that he either did not watch the show he's making a sequel for (like Ellis did not play the games or even watched playthroughs of it ❤️), or he did with his brain turned off. Maybe he found Alucard and Trevor's relationship to be so fucking funny all he wants is recreate it in his show. :) Because clearly, that's what we're gonna get. Literally the first thing Alucard did when he appeared at the end of Nocturne was mock the Belmonts. It's only going downhill from here.

Forget about the games being clear about Alucard choosing to go by this name (the FIRST thing you see when you go on his wiki page is his BIRTH NAME.), he didn't need to go this far to realize that... because the fucking show made Alucard HIMSELF state that he's going to go by Alucard now, the "name of his mother's people", to oppose his father!! Every. Single. Nfcv fan knows his name used to be Adrian. BUT THE GUY WHO IS WRITING THE SEQUEL DOESN'T? It is such a CLEAR evidence to me that, just like Ellis for the first show, the writers of Nocturne don't give a shit about the material that came before them. They didn't bother making proper researches and taking notes. They just wanted to tell their stories!! With their characters!! They don't care about the inconsistencies they create in the process.

See, as much as i hate NFCV with a burning passion ❤️ I still would have had more respect for Nocturne if it had followed what had been established by it. Because this far, all it kept from the first show, is: every girl being either a fridge or a #girlboss, Belmonts being awful and jokes to be mocked, Alucard being a cunt to Belmonts, CHURCH BAD theme, and bad, often mean-spirited writing. Oh and "Alucard is the coolest fr fr".

God this is going to be an awful season. I cannot wait to see Alucard and Annette team up to shit on Richter and his trauma.

[gaycrittercentral]

Hopefully this will brain running  and give you enough energy until the end of the shift 



Instead of the seven sins for Max  how about the seven heavenly virtues for Sam?

( optional  what do you think they do if the seven sins of max meet the heavenly virtues of Sam )

Oh shit dude that’s SO GOOD FJKDLFJKSLJDSKFJS I gotta get out the laptop for this one >:D ok so the seven heavenly virtues (as defined by Wikipedia, anyhow) are sort of opposites of the seven deadly sins, or at least you can interpret them that way. In no particular order they are Kindness, Diligence, Patience, Temperance, Charity, Humility, and Chastity. And HOOOOOO BOY do I have ideas for them I been thinkin about this all night!!

This is gonna get long, obviously, so the rest is under the cut.

First off I just want to discuss how I interpret this concept in general, as well as some potential circumstances that could lead to it happening. As far as I see it, the seven deadly sins are really just normal behaviors taken to the extreme, which can be healthy in moderation; therefore, the heavenly virtues are the same thing but in the opposite direction. They’re values that are good and helpful until you start placing too much emphasis on them and overdoing it, and then they’re harmful to you. Separated from all other aspects of Sam’s personality, many of them are honestly pretty unhealthy despite being so-called virtues.

As for how they could’ve come into existence, either we’re looking at some kind of bizarre dark version of Hugh Bliss who wants to eat all the bad emotions people experience (lol wonder what he'd be like) or, as I feel is easier to implement, he decided to pluck out all Sam’s virtues so they could go spread his bliss in the world and what’s left of Sam won’t want to help Max defeat Bliss anymore. I’m gonna call the remaining part of him sinful Sam I guess \_:p_/ for that matter, let’s talk about him first!

Sinful Sam (or just sin Sam bc that sounds funny to me)

Without any of his usual kindness, patience and good humor, Sam is kind of like his noir self on steroids. At first Max is like “oh shit Sam with no limits!! Ooooooh this is gonna be fun!” but then sin Sam immediately starts insulting him and growling at him and demonstrating a total lack of care and concern and Max is like “oh. actually you suck like this let’s go get those stupid virtues >:/” Sin Sam is quick to anger, quick to violence, all too happy to steal things in plain view of people, pretty egotistical, impatient, and just plain rude. He’s like if you took all of Sam’s usual personality and then sucked the humor out of it so he really just means every awful thing he says. He might even get to curse for real ooooh but maybe Hugh Bliss bleeps all of it so every other sentence is just furious beeping and Max gasping in mock offense. He also has lost his affection for pretty much everyone and everything, including Max, so he’s annoyed with him the whole time they’re getting his virtues back. Although, since he’s basically every deadly sin at once, he did get to keep lust and he might flirt with Max just a little. Max is reeeeally hoping they get enough of a break at some point to have a really violent hate-fueled makeout sesh lmao (they probably won’t and he is going to be so heartbroken over it).

Now, as for the virtues themselves…

Temperance (liver)

Temperance is basically the concept of moderation and self-restraint, so if we’re doing comparisons to the sins, it’s probably closest to being the opposite of gluttony. I think he’s on board with the idea of reclaiming all Sam’s virtues from the get go, because what’s more moderate than reuniting all parts of your soul? But maybe you have to collect a few of the others before he’ll rejoin the party since sinful Sam is just so unpleasant. He doesn’t want to be the only one stuck with all those vices, y’know? He’s also probably the closest to Sam’s real personality, although a little bland and very indecisive. Since he agrees with the concept of putting them all back together, Max tries to recruit him to help, but he’s just like “Hmm. Well, part of me wants to help you…and part of me doesn’t. Let me think about it for a while…” and basically he never decides one way or another and keeps flinging Max away whenever he tries to brute force it. Maybe you just get him a coin to flip in the end and once it lands on heads he concedes and allows Max to take whatever part of Sam he’s got. Honestly I’m not sure what part that would be—maybe his liver lmao, since it’s responsible for alcohol management and all that. That’s kind of temperance, right?

Patience (tail)

Probably closest to the opposite of wrath? I feel like Patience is just meditating in a quiet room somewhere looking peaceful and cannot be moved or bothered in any way. Max can attack him and chew on him and insult him all he wants but nothing gets a proper response, even if you ask sinful Sam to yell at him or punch him (he yelps and shakes his hand out like “god DAMN that hurt >:’(”). The guy's as stoic as a stone. Maybe he gets Sam’s tail, which makes it a problem that he’s sitting cross-legged and can’t be persuaded to get up. All he says to Max is maddeningly calm stuff like “Not yet, Max,” or “All in good time, good buddy.” I think he’s the last one to be collected because he just waits until you have all the others and then gets up like “:) ok it’s time now.”

Charity (left ear)

Opposite of greed, obviously. Charity is HYSTERICAL to me oh my god ok here’s my concept for him; the minute he pops into existence, he hands Max a random item from Sam’s inventory delightedly and then runs off to give away every single item they’ve collected so far and even all their case memorabilia from the office. You find him by following the trail of people he’s ‘donated’ things to and reclaiming your items, until you finally track him down and Max asks for his ear back, to which he’s just like “oh sure! Here you go!” and pulls it right off his head, looking sort of surprised when he abruptly pops out of existence. Afterwards, sin Sam is like “Oh that’s good to have back I guess. I feel less stingy now…I’m still keeping this stuff, though.”

Diligence (right hand)

Diligence is sort of the opposite of sloth; it’s the concept of working hard, constantly. It’s like the main thing that led to capitalism lmao. I think he gets Sam’s right hand. He instantly takes off to go to work arresting as many criminals as possible, and by the time you track him down he claims to have taken all the muggers and whatnot in the area into custody and is just filling out a huge stack of paperwork for their arrests. To me he’s like if you took all the angst out of Noir Sam and left him as a workaholic shell of his former self jfkdljfhdfsd. He’s so focused on doing his job that Max just can’t get to him. He probably has to commit a crime to get Diligence's attention so he can fight him and get the hand back lmao. Once Sam gets him back he comments, “That’s funny. I suddenly feel like I have the will to power through that paperwork we’ve been putting off for three weeks.” And Max is just like “Oh, good! Somebody has to and it’s not gonna be me lmao”

Chastity (left hand)

Opposite of lust! I know it’d made sense to give him Sam’s heart, but instead I'm giving him Sam's left hand so we can make a joke about asking for his hand in marriage lmao. And I’m gonna be so honest right now, I love a shy Sam so I’m just dumping all of that onto him shkfljdlfshfs. He’s probably just sitting quietly and reading a book or something, and he hides behind it with a little squeak when he sees Max. He’s all blushy and shit lmaoooo, sinful Sam hates his ass. If Max tries to get near him to grab Sam's hand back he gets all flustered and insists they wait til marriage or something ridiculous (reminding him that they're already married does no good, he insists they have to do it again. ok gayass). Maybe they have to put on a quick wedding so he’ll let Max near him lmao. Maybe he’s hanging out at Sybil’s and they can recruit her to marry them since she’s queen of Canada and probably has that kind of power, right? When she says to kiss the groom, Chastity gives Max the lamest, most timid little cheek smooch ever (sinful Sam gags lol). Max takes the opportunity to shock him with a dip and a proper kiss before yanking his hand off lmao. Afterwards, Max goes, “Wait, are you gonna be a prude now? Did I just miss my window for crazy, kinky hate sex?” and sin Sam’s like “well…that does seem a bit much. Maybe something a little more vanilla?” “oh god DAMNIT”

Humility (right eye)

Opposite of pride, and honestly, kind of an embodiment of Sam’s lack of self worth. Pride is healthy until it turns into a braggy, ego kind of thing, and on the flip side, humility is helpful until it turns into negative self-talk, doubting yourself, and downplaying your own value. Max finds Humility locked in Bosco’s restrooms, having taken shelter there to read self-help books and try to ‘fix’ himself. When Max asks why he didn’t pick someplace less gross, he mumbles something like “It’s where somebody like me deserves to be.” Sinful Sam just shoots back, “Yeah, well, would you either get better already or find a gutter to wallow in instead? Some of us need to take a leak.” Max laughs instinctively and then scolds sin Sam when they hear Humility sniffle a little. You can try a couple different dialogue options to get him to come out of the bathroom, like an emotional appeal: “C’mon, Sam, you’re not all that bad! And honestly, I like when you are bad! I mean, this guy out here might be getting on my nerves but he’s also a real heartthrob.” Sin Sam eyes him and goes, “…Noted.” But Humility just insists that he’s imperfect and full of sin and needs to keep working on himself before he deserves to be around Max. You can also try the practical approach. “Seriously, though, ya can’t stay in there all day. I mean, what if I need to pee?” “You deserve a cleaner bathroom anyway :(“

Maybe you end up getting him back by just giving sinful Sam a bunch of cups of coffee until eventually he’s like “Ok that’s it, I’ve had it” and kicks down the bathroom door, throws Humility out, and props the door back up so he can piss lmao. Max wastes no time in cornering Humility, although he might take a second to be like “Sam, get this through your dense, bizarrely-shaped skull—I like you, and I think you’re a pretty good guy, and you don’t have to be perfect. That’ll probably be easier to believe once you get back with the more reasonable parts of you, but just trust me for now, ok?” Humility just kinda sniffles and goes “ok :’(“ and lets Max reunite him with the rest of himself. Sam comes back out of the bathroom with his other ear intact and goes “Yikes. I feel like I need a couple dozen therapy sessions.” “Yay! Attaboy, Sammy!”

And lastly, maaaaaybe my favorite—Kindness! (heart)

I guess kindness is kind of the opposite of envy?? Idk these comparisons get a little blurry after a while. Anyway, kindness and the ways in which it can be harmful is a topic near and dear to my soul because it’s something I struggle with a lot (along with every other people pleaser on the planet, I imagine). I feel obligated to try to be as friendly and helpful as I possibly can 24/7 and really guilty when I feel like I haven’t given my all, and obviously that’s not healthy. Sooo that’s the cliff notes for this poor boy lmao.

Max finds Kindness volunteering at a charity place or something, all cheerful and happy-go-lucky. The minute he sees Max he gasps delightedly and rushes over to greet him all excited, immediately swooping him up in a hug and licking his cheek. Max responds with the usual performative disgust and demands to be released, but instead of teasing him like Sam normally would, Kindness just goes “Ok! Sorry, buddy :)” and sets him back down. Weird, but whatever. Max tells him to hand over the heart, but Kindness insists that he can be much more helpful without all those other vices and virtues weighing him down, and he’s got a lot more good to do before he can rest. Asking sin Sam to restrain him doesn’t help because Kindness tries to hug anybody who gets near him and sin Sam is just like “oh HELL no I’m not touching that guy.” Through talking with him as he keeps handing out lunches or whatever, it becomes clear that Kindness has been helping everyone in sight with everything he can, giving away all his time and energy and completely neglecting himself; he gave his lunch away to someone who he thought needed it more and now he feels lightheaded, he’s been listening to people’s problems and probably taking on more stress than he’s really able to handle, and he’s so focused on making Max comfortable and taking care of him that he doesn’t argue when Max or sin Sam do anything that would normally bother him. Like Max could bite him and he’d be like “Ow! Oh, I’m sorry, do you need a chew toy, buddy? You can keep using my arm if you like!” even though he’s clearly in pain. Maybe sin Sam accuses him of being a masochist and he just chirps, “Oh, I’m not :)” which is honestly more worrisome because if you don’t like pain, why do you keep allowing people to hurt you?

Eventually Max gets fed up with him ignoring his own needs and hatches a plan, saying he needs help with something back at the office. Kindness comes along happily, obviously. Max tells him to sit on the couch and relax while he grabs some snacks and coffee. The whole time, he has to keep insisting that Kindness stay seated instead of jumping back up to help. Eventually he grabs Kindness by the shoulders to explain that having his partner as, essentially, a self-offered indentured servant is funny and all, but it’s making him uncomfortable. They work so well together because they’ve always been equal, and as high and mighty as Max likes to act sometimes, it feels bad to just keep taking everything from his best friend and to be unable to give anything back. In a dreadfully ironic twist, preventing Max (and others, by extension) from doing anything for him is sort of unkind in and of itself. “So just keep your ass seated and let me do what I need to do, okay? You’re stressing me out. Eat your donut and calm down already.” And Kindness, maybe a little starry-eyed, finally concedes and allows Max to grab a blanket and finish making them some coffee. Once that’s done they sit on the couch together under the blanket for a minute and watch some junk TV while they eat a much-needed snack (by the way, sin Sam has long since escaped this mushiness and is probably staring longingly at Flint Paper’s door or something. Ah, Flint Paper...). After a few minutes of that, Max ventures, “Sooo…can I get that heart now, or…?” “Aw, buddy. You know you already have it.” And with a final little side hug, which Max finally returns with only a little grumbling about how sappy it is, he poofs out of existence. Sin Sam pops back in after a second like “Max, I need to apologize. I feel like I yelled at you a lot today and I really don’t know where that came from. You ok, little pal?” “lol yeah it was funny” “oh! ok then. You gonna eat the rest of that donut?”

I don’t know if there’s a particular order they get taken care of in, besides Patience going last. I figure in the spirit of the games you could really get them in whatever order you like. And I don’t have colors for everybody yet, but I feel like Chastity matches well with a soft pastel pink and Kindness is kind of a warm dandelion yellow. As for interactions with Max’s vices, oof, I should probably make that a different post since this one got so long ^^; But hoooooo boy I’m def gonna write it up!! These things are super fun to think about and I feel honored to be the first person I’ve seen put out some thoughts about them. Thanks so much for the prompt dude!! And ummm if anybody would like to ask anything else about this funky little concept I would be all too happy to answer teehee

(Oh also I’m definitely gonna draw them! But that’s gonna take a second so I figured I’d just post this while I’ve got it and put up some sketches of ‘em later, especially since they don’t come across that well without color and that’s gonna take even longer. I’m SO excited though hfjkldshfkdlsjfhsk)

[forestfullofberries]

oh shit IT'S OUT IN MY TIMEZOME

right. i'm gonna liveblog. spoilers below

oh god the voice acting. right off the bat it's so much better than in the snippet

i've got to the end of the snippet part and i'm scared to go further

POLITES (i screamed out loud at 4am glad i'm home alone) (i was hoping he was going to be there but also OH NO) POLITEEEEEES

THE SOFTNESS IN ODY'S VOICE "Polites" OHHHHHHHHH

nylon strings spotted

"greet the world with open arms greet the world with open arms" POLITES BABY I MISS YOOUUUUUUUU

"Polites..." again so soft and quiet i'm gonna cry

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT ANTICLEA IS HERE (i was pretty certain she was going to be here but still) (i'm scared to hit play again) (Odysseus heartbreak incoming)

SHE DOESN'T SEE HIM

"I took too long and ventured too far" oh Odysseus 😭😭😭😭

"waiting... waiting..."

"Bye, mom" i can't do this anymore

there are 20 seconds of the song left what else do you got in store Jorgenator

oh just the chorus. but he's Screaming it this time (ow)

"Your past is always close behind, down in the Underworld" thank gods we're done i hope we don't receive any more bad news from the prophet (foreshadowing)

i relistened to the first song from start to finish and isn't it unfair that the blaming voices of the soldiers addressed him directly while the two people he actually loves couldn't see him?

👇why is this the emoji my phone suggested?

alright. let's go meet the prophet

i'm a creature of habit but this voice is growing on me

"But it's no longer you" oooooh and the spiraling begins

"I see your palace covered in red" CONTEXT Terisias

TERISIAS PLEASE WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PUT IT THIS WAY do you really not see that man is the same guy in front of you or are you just fucking with him

"WHO????" holy shit

and he goes with the same song again and i can't make out of the choir is singing words or not

Terisias does NOT elaborate. it's better this way for the drama (do you think he did it on purpose to get Odysseus worked up and angry enough that he gets to his Monster phase sooner?)

MONSTER let's go

"Do I need to change" there.

trying really hard not to make a poop joke

"I'm the only one who's line I haven't crossed" There! It clicked!

We already heard most of this song but MAN the voice actingghhhh

and the infant line like is just as chilling but the buildup is more punchy this time

"Then I'll become the Monster" ALRIGHT idk how to talk about singing but his voice is. sharp? like a blade. ready to kill. dare i say ruthless

"Penelope, Telemachus" YEAH that's who we're doing it FOR (i fight for us)

and ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves.

hoooooo boy it took me 50 minutes to listen to 3 songs. i'm glad i didn't wait for the listening party because i got to pause a lot and savor it. savor the suffering. yeah

[mightbeorphanedidk]

Backstory rn i want details fandoms and all

HOOOOOO BOY

Alright sit yourselves down kids

IT STARTED IN 2020.

Dsmp phase, my first fic was a rewrite of the plot of the dsmp (self-insert ofc) with my own spin on things. I wrote it because quarantine and I didn't have much else to do, so I pulled up docs on my crappy windows 2010 model (it was so bad that upon starting it up, it would start overheating. Opening more than three tabs at a time caused it to crash) and began writing. Learned I loved to write, so I kept going with it.

2021 I had my hazbin hotel phase. Wrote a fucking like 400 page fanfic that was... (IM ASHAMED.) CHARLASTOR... I would say it wasnt them directly but it was, Alastor never stopped smiling and loved his mama, and "Charlotte" had her parents abandon her. The story was so shit. I tried to see if I could rewrite it, maybe change it a lot, but nope. So much shit happened that was so unnecessary I couldn't save it. I think the story was just me trying out different troupes and prompts.

HOWEVER, i did write shorter fanfics of the two (yeah i wrote a fanfic of my own fanfic fuck off okay leave me alone) that were somewhat OKAY. Like, they werent the best, but theh sure as hell had better structure than the first fic.

2022 i had a... actually what DID i have.. OH FJCK RIGHT

ENCANTO. THAT SHIT WAS SOOO BAD... I actually preordered a Bruno funko pop so thats cool. NOT RELEVANT. I MADE THIS BOMBASS STORY ABT THE CANDLE BEING EVIL AND IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD DUDE. LIKE SO GOOD. I LOVED IT.

And then i lost it. It’s gone. Actually i might be able to find it give me a moment.. found it. 200 PAGES OF DIFFERENT FICS I WROTE. There are 6 different stories in here. Christ these were actually kinda good

In late 2022 and all of 2023 i got into detroit become human. Uhh let me think.. OVER 1000 FUCKING PAGES OF THESE ROBOTS. 1000 pages, like 90 different fics, but only 23 were released. May release more. THESE WERE ACTUALLY GOOD. I LIKED A GOOD MAJORITY OF THEM.

And that brings us to 2024. What started as "hey dr facilier reminds me of Alastor ill write a fic" turned into a revisitation of my 2021 phase. Get me the fuck out of here.

Now, you may be asking "bruh didn't you write ur own stories tf" I DID! titles were never my strong suit but ill list the ones I wrote anyways

Edit: realised listing the titles was a risk cus i shared them w my irl friend LMAOO

1. Dark Romance, WIP

2. Action and sci-fi, completed, 500 pages

3. Slice of Life, never completed, 60 pages

4. Musical Story Attempt: 40 pages, never complete

5. Action, Dark romance, never completed, 120 pages

Ones I DIDN'T SHARE with her:

Identical Opposites (again, titles were not my thing lol): Romance, never completed, 300 pages

Thats it lol. Yeah every villian had their backstory DSMP was mine LMAOOO i blame you quarantine

Eh, but honestly, if I didn't get into writing, idk where tf i would be. Probably dead 💀

[boxwinebaddie]

NINAAAAAAAAAAAA? DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE KYLEYB CONTENT? I LOVE HIM

nOOOOOOOOOOOONICA!

-- and do i EVA, dollface!

( edit: the spelling across the board is non-existent. so sorry. you are morally obligated to be nice to me; i have a tumor. also, my apologies for yesterdays post -- it is gone now *shudders at memory* --

i was very manic and upset and the jerseykyle in me that gets angry, really, really is convinced she can kill god...i do think that's still true, but it was very chaotic and embarassing to be like that on the dash.

but if you are worried about the tumor i am trying to have a ( bad ) sense of humor about, again, it’s benign, noncancerous, very, very small, to the point where it requires no surgery or radiation treatment at this time ( i do have a radiology appointment for another brain scan on the 26th so please keep me in ur thots if you can ) and i just have to cope with a lot of gnarly side effects.

i love you and hope you heal. <333 -the u.n.

so...i wrote this weird ~'thing'~ ( i'm not sure what else to call it ) because i was having a very loose and silly-goosed ( but as always, wonderfully and graciously soul-warming ) converslaytion in the dms

with dearest, darlingest teria ( whose work you should not only read and whose art is not only more immaculate than the piss-and-moan-a-lisa, but whose advice, council and conversation i enthusiastically urge you to enlist because she is truly, a little bit of heaven on earth )

and, i don't know, i was doing the silly kyley b voice for shits and giggles in my texts and...it never...left my brain ( is THAT what gave me the brain worms? ) and i had to write my weird ~'thing'~, which is my boy, THE BUOY, kyley bi-atch! talkin’ to the new kid and givin’ them some street-wise, beat-the-shit-out-of-you-poetic advice.

( if you want it...it's down at the VERY BOTTOM -- everyone say hoooola cuervostan ;) xxx -- of this post...i got weirdly passionate talking about kyley b and jersey in general, so you can read all of that if you WANT...but i'll leave the screenshots after everything, so you can scroll down easily and reach it; also...gender neutral, i promise, just girl-scout-squirrely-whirly nicknames, haha. )

cue a future me leaving this here where i left off:

*unfreezes tv screen and a feral past nina springs to life*

also, i am...so sorry in advance for this, bc, okay, look...

-- does he sound like ball bustin', good fa' nothing pauly d, soprano mobstaH? yeah...yeah he sure does, aND WHATTABOUTIT, BETCH?! ( i'm just kidding, you guys; mwah ) but like...is that not The Vibe?

like? he is not supposed to give your rough and tumble ol buddy nino down at the jewish-italian pizzeria who looks like he would rather fkn blow his brains out that take 'ya ordah' ( but loves his ma and his kid brother, and the counter guy got fkn shived, so there he is baby baby;

-- the worst man on planet earth...

…and The LUVH Of My Loife! )

...who repeatedly calls you 'toots', but he's not really hitting on you, he's just trying to size you up ( also, i love you pre-(ed)isordah jersey, the BIGGEST and the baddiest, baby! ah-baddabingbaddaBOOM! )

and he...( quite literally ) wants you to stay the fuck away from him and get the hell out of his shitty city, and, he is THE KYLEY B, BAY-BEE! he's the curliest, cuntiest, coppa'-ist ( do naaaught, howeva, group him in with the bootlickers, or he'll make you lick his...just so HE can call /YOU/ one...like...he is my BF, do you understA-- )

hooOOoo

( i am sorry; he is...my favorite mwob-buoy-bawhss xx )

but...on the inside, underneath it all, really is...just...a fine and truly beautiful specimen, the meaner he is to you, the more you like him...and...you accidentally fall in love with him ( oooY geVAULT! )

that is...in fact, what sweet, sweet stanley marsh did ( he is a genius and a visionary and I RESPECT THE FUCK OUT OF THAT SCARY BOY CRAZY CRUNCHY KALE SALAD KIIIIIIING; like, he really played The Long Game...AND WON!!! HE FUCKING WON, BABEY!!!! like

i have this pre-rm, childhood headcannon, that ( because he was trying not to say stan's name or acknowledge him -- very interesting to me because that is the Same strategy stan employed when he publicly gave kyle the jersey nickname, bc he knew he could not remain detached/unemotional if he said kyle's name --

that babyjk when he lived in south park regularly just called stan 'bambi' or 'sug' or 'masug'; short for 'masugganah' or crazy in yiddish

because rm!santanastan...

( which is what sharon called him, for the band and just to respect his chosen name, in spanish, without alerting randy's suspicions...i will start crying, i should talk abt the south park era of the rm fbs more )

was just this insane boy with gigantic fucking goldfish, cartoon dear eyes who would approach him when no one else would even DARE, was freshly obsessed with him and thought he was the bees knees.

so, because the reader, reminds him a lot of stan...he starts using those little nicknames and i wanted you to know the rm!origin. yes, he does still call stan 'bamb' and 'sug' ( which is cute, because as a nice pet name he likens it to 'sugar' sometimes, aw ) to this day

and i think, almost did it or actually one time with raven of crimson dawn and stan's gigantic fucking sugar glider eyeballs lit up and kyle was HORRIFIED because oh my god, that was a Stanley Marsh ONLY nickname and i used it on this fucking CELEBRITY MAN...like y'know actually bestie, you are a fucking genius…

— that's Your celebrity man.

BUT BACK TO BACK TO KYLEY B, BAAAAAAAAABEY!

who is the red-(H)ead-BIC of NUEW JOISEY, kid!

like my best description is that he's this fast-twalkin, street rat, night life, mortal ( but not really; he basically thinks he's god ) kombative, fucking feral, ruthless palooka-pummeling, curbstomping, pavement leveling, street-fighting piesa' literal gutta trash, or sort of like if luffy from one piece was a mad swole ( emphasis mad, he's pissed and humungous, holy shit ) scary freckled ginger new jersey pirate king

who ( bc i love a visual ) is typically out there, rocking:

a way too tight ( to the point of it almost being threadbare and rolling paper thin; he looks good tho; he's my lil diamond in da ruff ) worn out, extremely stretched out, skin-tight, faded/distressed

( that's fraying and unspooling in several along the mom-mended and barely held-together seams --sounds like a metaphor for something -- with the distracting curly font almost nearly peeled and cracked off ), probably heavily stained ( with blood...and whatever meager, worm-infested brain matta splattered on his shirt when he was bashing some bigshot's stupid head in with a tire iron -- rip; sorry ma -- sunbleached from scorching nj summers that it's almost...brown ) black affliction tank top

some huge, torn-up, baggy, aggresively rhinestone-studded, heavily sequined ( k.b, it's already so hard to see and street hardened, police siren, rough around the edges radiance is already blinding me, please have mercy [ never not once ] ) mike 'the situation' influenced, super quintessentially 2012 jersey shore adjacent ( in that they're very loud, vibrant, in your face, tacky and obnoxious ) faux americana, tattoo parlor-popularized, badly screenprinted, ed hardy jeans ( eyeconick! )

the M-o-s-t ( sigh ) hideous ( and i do mean fucking hideous, sheila broflovski is fashion blind; but she is so beautiful and kind, she is forgiven in every way ) men's size thirteen ( jersey has frighteningly large, monster-sized clown feet ) highlighter green-orange-purple basketball shoes you've ever seen

-- purchased, with love, from the sale rack of ross for dress for less ( where they were collecting dust; no one wanted those things ) and her widely amassment of store credit from...numerous previous returns ) by none other than, my favorite beehive-styling, cherry-red, new jersey hauswife, legendary broflovski matriarch ( she rlly runs that whole fkn house like the navy; choke gerald )

Miss Sheila Broflovski...

the only person who is not scared of the notorious k.m.b. kyley b and routinely, while they're out in public, ft. a baby-faced, mean-mugging kyley b jersey acting all big and bad, will pull him down by the tag of his tank top, go 'you've got some schmutz on your face, bubbula!'

hold down this gigantic, vicious, snarling, menacing, thick as brick, hard as titanium, six foot tall, juvenile detention center frequenting, frightening concrete wall of an eighteen year old boy who looks like he could gut you with his stare alone, like he's a cute, cuddly teddy bear, hawk the loudest, wettest, gnarliest lougie into a schmatta she fished out of her purse and proceed to volently scrub a tiny spot of 'sahwasce' her son's face while he squirms like a feral cat; i love her. )

and the crowning jewels ( or jewels really; not sure if they're real, but they're big and shiny, which is what matters ) duel-ery, which i call that because…

he literally weaves his way through the back-door inner-city system of crime in new jersey through info he mercilessly squeezed out of a coupla peabrained Gabbagoons, uses what little information he could decipher out of those fkn weasel's pathetic wheezes to deadpool square to wherever their bosses lair is…

makes them regret they were even born, beats them with in AN INCH of their sorry life, leaves them lying in a pool of their own gross blood, stamps a big, blingy 'B' on their forehead and browses the shattered, blood-soaked display case and five-finger discounts ( but really, if you just won a major battle or boss fight; clearly, you deserve kind of reward or compensation, right, guys? and by his logic...you're not rlly stealing what quite morally wrong, but rightfully...belongs to you )

...whatever the largest and most impressive ( or not, tbh, sometimes he's like 'ugh, really...a toe ring? that's your big come up?' ) piece of jewelry they're wearing is, sterlizes it, and flexes it it on his body and on the streets as a silent, but deadly warning to all other 'so-called' king pens and 'unstoppable' underground crime lords that

'oh, that guy YOU were scared of? i beat the piss outta him, he cried like a fucking baby, he bled like a stuck pig and is lying in the fucking sewer like a half-dead rat. and if you fuck with me; you'll be next ) and scare legit 60 y/o robert deniro level frightening men, who have been running the game since the crimson dawn of time…

-- Into SUBMISSION.

...at like...seventeen or eighteen years old.

LIKE HE IS A FUCKING LEGEND IN NEW JERSEY. they still whisper about him TO THIS DAY and have to look over their shoulders before they do...like he was that fucking Terrifying when he was out there.

and i need you to know that he is H-U-G-E. like the incredible hulk HUGE. he's not like, this scrawny, gangly, sniveling little ginger vanilla wafer cookie rolling up on you...he is like, this six foot two, gigantic size thirteen shoe wearing, slim-jim-ripping, gum and fist snacking,

NFL FOOTBALL FIELD PLAYER WIDE, like not just some measly, tiny-itsy bitsy football player -- oh, no; you wish -- he is STACKED AND JACKED, he is ten times wider than the widest receiver...he is the WHOLE DAMN FOOTBALL FIELD BITCH, fkn might-o-chrondia ( because he is the new jersey powerhouse of the concrete and hard titanium juvenille deliquient cell, which shakes when he walks, bro. )

tldr; KYLEY B IS FRECKLY, JEWISH, GINGER, NEW JERYSIAN 'THE THING' FROM THE FANTASTIC FOUR, COULD VERY EASILY BODY YOU, OR VIOLENTLY DISMEMBER AND KILL YOU AND MAKE THAT SHIT LOOK LIKE L-I-G-H-T WORK. AND I MEAN THAT.

but...he actually, believe it or not, does NOT...Kill People?

which, i honestly want to say, is stanley marsh's gentle 'post-mortem' pacifist influence still lingering around him like the sweetest ghost.

because, honestly, i think a lot of those people deserve to fucking die, not just for being extremely fucking cruel to jerseykyle for literally just existing, for how he looks of all things, his fucking APPERANCE!

( it's the teacher in me, but child and adolescent bullying, particularly in school settings, really makes me viciously angry and very, Very fucking sad because it causes soooo much psychological damage to the victim, who most likely did nothing to warrant such incessant and merciless taunting -- that was probably perpetrated because he was whip-smart, and therefore a fucking nerd, significantly larger than other boys, wore glasses, has a 'funny', loud, cartoonish voice...

( which is simply...a dialect and manner of speaking that he literally developed from growing up in new jersey and from his mother teaching him how to talk -- that shouldn't at all diminish the weigh his words carry or the meaning behind them; which, minus...a little...or a lot, of potty-mouthed sailor swearing -- which, again, only fucking happened because he was so viciously bullied, he had to adopt a harsh, slangy, malicious vernacular -- is often extremely profound, academic and reflects a very introspective perspective )

and because he's immunocompromised, had to report to the nurse's office frequently throughout the day to prick his finger and check his blood pressure for his diabetes and is often, very, very sick -- which i guess makes other kids view him as weak, but most damningly was that...he didn't fit into the mold ( or, uh, most traditional size ranges, sheila only bought him clothes from the 'big and tall' men's section of most department stores because he was so Large in stature,

like he could not squeeze into child-sized...anything; meanwhile ravenstan has itsy, bitsy baby feet and could probably slide his non-existent ass -- you are so sexy king, i love you, you needed a flaw -- into a pair of the largest sized black pair of skinny jeans they got on the racks of the junior girls section of target...like, he could and he would look damn Good too! like go AWHFF king!

HES SOOO BAD! i need to focus, but before i do~

btw; rs definitely sent jk a picture to laff. he was like damn, i am sorry it won't load; will you send five more from different angles? HELP )

but, anyways, my lifetime horny writer girl max security prison sentence aside ( and pending ), he just wasn't traditionally thin or tiny or conventionally attractive or healthy like most other boys or children and general were..so the other kids, probably ring-leaded by the most convention of the bunch, othered him, dedicated making every single day of his life miserable and made his life a living hell...

...just to have a little 'fun' at recess and laugh.

FUCK. THAT.

because, i don't know, bullying like that, creates what are usually painful lifelong feelings of self-inferiority, very difficult to remedialize through therapy and selfcare, social emotional issues with expressing yourself/emotions in healthy positive ways, militant self-isolation

and ALL of that happened to jerseykyle...and on top of just never hearing 'i love you' from his father, that hate he received from the outside world, forced him the keep everything inside and it's why he couldn't tell ravenstan he loved him, because basketball is just a game,

...but it never FUCKING ended and he could only alternate between being defensive or offensive, there was never a bell that sounded to tell him he could stop playing and that it was over, and return to 'normal', that was his normal, because, from all his overwhelming negative experiences with vulnerability, if he stopped treading water, every shark on planet earth would smell his blood in the water...

and spill it everywhere. :(

NINA, DID YOU HAVE A POINT? AND WERE YOU EVER GONNA GET THERE? i...think so? i think the point is that, these are bad people that kyley kg fucking b was putting the hurt on...and the point is that, because, like i said, he considers himself a 'debt collector' and appears villainous bc of his vicious disposition,

is really more like...

a misunderstood antihero than anything?

he's kind of like a red robin hoodie, if you will, because he goes after rapists, child molesters, guys who hurt women/animals/the weak, power-hungry bastards in suits who use that power for evil and take it out on those who are stricken with poverty, like, he is a violent criminal...but he takes out even More violent criminals.

hot boy shit!

and yeah, he does do it sort of vaingloriously sometimes, for street cred, to wear people's status symbols on his hand and placate that hurt place in himself by being scary and ferocious and making motherfuckers pay for what they did for him and how they treated him...and with all that blood in his eyes, he gets blind to the ethical portion of what he's doing...but, subconsciously...

he's doing it...

— For GOOD.

and killing people, the notion of it, not only made stanley marsh, punk rock pacifist prince, violently, violently sick, but it's also, one, too messy, a lot on his hands ( already quite heavy with his heisted and thieved jewels and video game loot ) but...i don't know? he really loves his mom, you know? batshit insane as that woman is, he loves her to death...and does spare bad-guys because of it. because everyone has a mom and not everyone's mom is kind and lovely like his, but they could...and he's sending their kid back home to them...

...in a [ BOX ].

it just...it didn't sit right with him ( he acts unbothered by the idea of murdering people...but, unless he had to, like if it was going to kill someone else and the only way to fix it would be to kill the thing about to kill them, he could do it, and again...he could do it easily. )

he also acts simultaneously above the 'laur' and studies it in school, but ultimately...what happens to this fuck-ups after he fucks them up...is not up to him. whether they live or die, that is. he gave them what was coming to them...and the rest is up to someone else.

and i won't get into it too much ( A LIE; but i have like 74937403 other blurbs about this in my drafts, i should not ferally release all that insanity in here ) but it's interesting...because rm!jersey, loses a lot of that subconscious 'good' in the process of being 'bad'.

because, after his drastic kyley b transformation into ivy league jersey, he, for the first time, is being noticed in a 'positive' way by people on the outside and he's getting 'positive' attention from them, and he feels...for once, powerful — even though, really, he's essentially rendered powerless and is chained to the approval of these people and destroys himself every moment of everyday...to be in a pretty, and small, and palatable package for them...

( yes, i want k*ll myself. )

but he BECOMES the very EVIL that he was hellbent on destroying and starts doing EXACTLY what those people did to him. and because he is so unhappy and morose and hurt and devastated, he finds outsiders, weak people, but mostly, just looks...happy? :((((

…unbothered, merely existing...and decides

to psychologically debase and torture every drop of happiness from that individual, to make his self esteem better and make him feel like, good, i am so much better than that miserable worm, squirming away, squinting at the light it once basked in...

now it can be as insufferable and small...

— As I Am. </3

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. BROTHERS, THIS SHIT MAKES ME SO SAD. I AM SOOOOO UPSET LOL.

NOOOOOO--

and they're both brutal, kyley b and jerseykyle ( who, really, do need that distinction because they are...VERY different ) jersey, one, is far worse than kyley b, i don't CARE if he could twist your intestined into rope and hang you with them...the things that jerseykyle can say, as the most beautiful man EVER, Using That Voice,

looking at you with the most disgust and contempt and unworthiness you've ever felt and completely debase you in a couple crisp, dififnued, academic words...and not touch you a single time, bc you're pathetic and beneath him...you can heal a broken bone in a couple weeks...but your mind? your heart? your self esteem?

your once…wealthy, healthy feelings of self worth?

when jerseykyle reduces you into ash with his eyes, when your body was a temple and he burns it down, like somehow, it will make his stronger where he feels weak and helpless or like it will some how vindicate stanley marsh...it is very, very, very difficult to make that rubble into a city again. like...that man will RUIN YOU LIFE.

( pleaaaAasee kiss me!!! pICK ME CHOOSE MESHSJ )

but jersey is scary in a very...bone-chilling, below-freezing, self-pleasing, self-destructive ( but in a more subtle, seemingly artistic, less 'unhand me, you big brute, ya no-good palooka' kind of way...

and, instead, it's this twisted, muted, shadowy…

...oh wow, you...really are the devil in a fresh pressed suit, college student siren who leads boys to their untimely demise, and drains them of their lifeforce in his bedroom they way he would a dry glass of wine or a cheap bodega cigarettes like in a tasteful, snake charmer kind of way...a dark academic, sleek, chic, fuck-and-succubus way )

like jerseykyle is a very pretentious, jane austenatcious, bond villian type of self-destructive...that revolves around mentally preying on the weak/innocent...because he hates himself and wants literally everyone to hate themselves more than him...so he can like himself.

and when he guts you its, in a mentally incapacitant, poisonous, cruel and insidious way, in a...classically trained, philosophical, fashionable, was...in the way a thorn on the most beautiful rose you've ever seen would gut you...or a delicate antique letter opener...might slash your palm open, gash you and bleed you dry...

whereas kyley b was a faaaar less tasteful or restrained ( in that sense but jersey is still unhinged ) destroyer of worlds...he was very hands on, ( jerseykyle will not touch you unless he has to, he'll only punch you if you will not shut the fuck up and touch you as little and impersonally as possible to sleep with you…which is ironic, i know )

kyley b is a very fast and loose, wild animal, loose canon, carnivorous 'i'll slice ya and dice ya and put ya on ice ya' and beat you until you are bloody and unrecognizable...but on the inside...

he's just this...Frightened Little Animal. :(

who hurts you because he is scared you will reach for him, and when you put food in your palm, bites it because he's scared it's a trick.

aaaaaaaaaaaaah....idk he is my special little man.

okay, shutting the fuck up now HERE IS YOUR SNIPPET:

( edit: LAMBORGHINI MERCY, ITS LONG; LO SIENTO! )

GOOD LUCK, BAMBI. </3 ;-;

( just a...branch in my eye. ) i also was worried about the nicknames being a little too...'fem...inine-ish?' which, i glawhSSED on earlier, but wrote this little extra dialogue as an example using all the little satana stan nicknames ( aw ) because i am gonna be honest, it's gender neutral and not personal, he'd tell you, straight up -- my man always keeps it one-hunna and 100% kosh, ketzele; --

something like:

'ya can throw daisy chains ova a pile of cowshit aaaaaalll you want, masug; but no matta how ya dress it up, when alls said and done; and all those pretty flowers keel ova' and die...all your fine exteria design... fuck: what's cityslicka for 'useless, fancy schmanchy holy crappola' uhhh...your...dainty lil'tle 'floral achootrama' or whateva';

gesundheit.

...means fuck awhll in new jersey, 'cause the freakin' se-wer systems! ( manure, really ) like all the people, are all totally wasted, loaded and gunked-up with broken needles, instant spray tan and crushed up cred cans; wow, golly gee whiz, dory. so...you mean to tell me...my whole life...is all a buncha crud, huh?

o-oh, no, shit i might cr--

HA! gotcha, sensodyne! cause one man's trash...is another man's treasure...and you better get comfy and rest your goddamn laurels on a street corner where a prostitute isn't going to give you freakin' hepatisis mauling ya for struting your stuff on her turf...

cause this, outta townie...

— is your new home sweet home. ;)

...wonderful little joint, ain't it? you should see when it's all lit up with gang violence...that'll really jumpstart your heart, sug. it's, uh, kinda like fireworks...if they were fucking HORRIBLE and KILLED YA.

so...and i'll talk real slow, because i'm not sure i speak malibu freakin' barbie: h-e-r-e....in...hoebroken, ( that's where we are...in case you forgot, bamb; don't look so scared, honey; the junkies will only give ya little nibble; not too many teeth there otherwise. or, uh, oxygen flowin' to the ole cranium, they're basically harmless! uh...not him. staaaaaaaaaay, the hell away away from him, sug. aY, YOUSE! SNAP CRACKLE POP! KEEP YOUR FKN DISTANCE OR I'LL CAP YA BI--

basically; v.i.p., between you...and me, there's crap...on crap...on --wait! could it be--oh no, just more CRAP lined from the rock bottom of nj all the way up to the ny-sea to shining sea skyline ( might be our fault, but the fuckin' big city biddies and hoity-freakin-toitys out there can hoof it a little; by that, i mean horse shit; fuck 'em. uh, no offense, bam. ) i shot that one outta the park a little,

ball-point is:

it's backed allllll the way...TA HELL. which, might even be kinda, uh, nice...well, compared to this fuckin' trash compacta. so take a good, long, whiff sweetheart; ‘cause here? everybody's shit stinks...

— even yours, princess.

which—OOH.

es-Specially, yours.

ever heard of a shower? you r-e-e-k."

hEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP THATS MY BOOOOOOOOOOOYFRIEND! look at him!!!! I MISS HIM EVERYDAY; KYLEY 'IF YOU AIN'T MAKIN' MONEY, TAKE! YA! BROKE! ASS! OUTTA! HOE(BOKEN)! BEFORE I BREAK IT SOMEMORE, BREAK IT SOMEMORE...(B)-I T C H!"

like and suuuuuuUUubSCRRIIIBE~

-uncle nina, the gay kyley lGBea(t)in'theshitouttayaBETCH agenda

[zesstie]

ok, i just need to put out there that this is the first time i've ever written something relatively close to fanfiction, so it's shitty and a little ooc for some of the characters (especially keith ngl). anyways here a small klance oneshot but it's dialogue only!! btw no tw that ik of, but lmk if there's something i should add a tw for! it was written as a school project, so there shouldn't be anything!! enjoy my shit writing, everyone :)

L: “How- how did you find me?”

K: “You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re joking, right?”

L: “Uhhhhh….. yes?”

K: “Oh my God you’re being serious, haha! Wow, I did not take you as the dense type.”

L: “Hey! For your information I am very perceptive when I need to be!”

K: “Yeah our lives are kind of in danger right now? I’d take that as a time where perceptiveness is needed! And you obviously didn’t take that perceptiveness into consideration when you practically announced to the world where you were going due to how loud you ran.”

L: “..Touche.”

K: “Anyways, do you have any information on our enemy?”

L: “All I know is that we’re outnumbered. By, like, a lot. We’re the only ones left.”

K: “...Oh.”

L: “Yeah, how’s that for perceptiveness!?”

K: “Point taken, but this isn’t the time to argue! The enemy could be close and be ready to snipe us, and we can’t afford to lose this war.”

L: “Alright. Do you have a plan?”

K: “Well, you know how I said they could be ready to snipe us at any moment?”

L: “I think I see where you’re going with this, K.”

K: “Thankfully, we have a sharpshooter of our own. The only way we can win at this point is to ambush them. They’ve got 5 people, right? I think I’ll be able to pull off leading them together with some distractions, and once they’re all together, you can pick them off from above.”

L: “This is going to be so fun!”

K: “Remember to stay serious, L… But let’s destroy them.”

H: “Dude, we’ve been walking around for forever and there’s still no sign of anyone. Did we take them all out? I feel like we would have known if we took them all out.”

P: “Yeah, we would have. They’re either really good at this or have no clue what to do, and I’m going with the latter.”

*TING, TING, CLATTER*

H: “What was that? P please, what was that?!”

P: “Calm down!! Finding out where they are is literally our job, H. It sounded like it came from roughly 10 o'clock, but from above due to how long it took to hit the ground. Let’s go back east and tell the others”

A: “H, P! Why are you two over here? I thought your orders from S were to stay separate from the group.”

H: “Yeah, well we know where the enemy is and it's literally on the complete other side, soooooo yeah.”

P: “One of them dropped something, and I thought I heard someone quietly curse under their breath, so they’re def disorganized. ”

C: “Awesome, S isn’t terribly far away so we should regroup and come up with a game plan.”

A: “Let’s go then! We must win!”

K: “Beep. They’re heading over to their leader now, L. You in position? Beep.”

L: “Beep. Never been more ready, K. Beep.”

K: “Beep. Alright then, good luck. I’m counting on you. Beep.”

S: “C just filled me in, great job on finding their location H and P.”

A: “P said that what they dropped sounded like it came from above, so we should ambush from behind and on the same level, instead of from underneath.”

C: “Sounds reasonable enough to me, does anyone have anything else to add?”

H: “Nope!”

P: “Nothing here, let go get th-”

*PEW PEW PEW*

S: “What?! They’re behind us? Everyone, ready you-”

*PEW PEW*

S: “....”

A: “....”

C: “....”

P: “....”

H: “....”

Comms: “TEAM RED HAS WON THIS ROUND OF LASER TAG. PLEASE EXIT THROUGH THE WEST DOOR AND DROP OFF YOUR GUNS AND GEAR AT THE PREP ROOM. WE HOPE YOU HAD FUN PLAYING THIS LAST ROUND OF LASER TAG.”

L: “Woooo Hoooooo!!! K, Did you see that?! I totally had them!”

K: “Yes! Great job, L! I knew you could do it.”

P: “Are they….. Actually getting along? I thought for sure their arguing would be their downfall.”

S: “Well, we’ve just got to not underestimate them anymore. Good game guys, you proved us wrong.”

A: “.... Yet again.”

K: “Don’t forget about the bet, guys!”

L: “YES! Free lunch, I can’t wait to meet you!”

[miraclesabound]

I completely missed yesterday’s entry as well, so I’m trying to get caught up!

Hoooooo boy, we’ve found the noble savage section of the book, I see. I do like Queequeg’s outfit though!

“Grub ho!” has to be the most absurd way to call folks in for breakfast.

Methinks you use “methinks” too much, Ishmael!

...I need to see Father Mapple’s church recreated ASAP!

Honestly, I adore this sermon about Jonah.

Again with the noble savage talk - although I will say “You cannot hide the soul.” is a quote for the ages.

For not being Christian, Queequeg seems to have very traditional views about marriage - “Oh shit, we shared a bed and we woke up cozy? Gotta get hitched!” (Yes, I know he’s not using the term marriage in the same way, but I still find it amusing.)

God, Ishmael and Queequeg really are soulmates, aren’t they? I mean, seriously, you can’t tell me there’s not room in the world for a romance novel about a prince running away to the sea.

Looking it up, Rokovoko is entirely fictional, but Polynesia is big enough that it *could* exist, I suppose.

...why does a barber want an embalmed head?

If there’s ever a remake that could be done with sensitivity, I would love to hear more about Queequeg’s family, I adore him having a kid sister.

I really did think that young kid on the ship to Nantucket was done for. Are we sure Queequeg isn’t an ancestor to Aquaman?

Ishmael isn’t kidding about how far Nantucket is. It’s 30 miles straight out from Hyannis, and even with today’s ferries, that’s still about two and a half hours. From New Bedford is closer to 70 miles, so I can only imagine how a Christmastime sail would go.

Reading about the chowders reminds me, my husband’s family does clam chowder each year for Christmas Eve - I’m looking forward to it!

Yojo is a devious little deity, isn’t he?

[joeysmuttonchops]

[Firestorm (2003) #3]

sans undertale 2. oh my god.... hoooooo my god.. normal behavior so so normal. i am going to walk up to strangers and fuse our consciousnesses because i am so desperate for contact/freedom. and doing all this after the last guy you did this with absolutely made house in your history, shoved your face in it, and melted? jason holy shit

[light-wolf]

Ok, time for some thoughts regarding yesterday's Nintendo Direct!

Pikmin 4: Nothing too revolutionary, just taking the Pikmin formula and refining/expanding it, like Pikmin 2 and 3 did before it. And honestly, that's not a bad thing! I love the Pikmin games, they're really fun and charming and this one seems to continue that trend. It seems we're getting all the existing Pikmin types in addition to the new Ice Pikmin so that'll be cool. And the new doggo is adorable! I'm really looking forward to this one.

Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective: This is a game that I always wanted to play and never got to do it, so I'm glad to see it ported to the Switch! Maybe this will be the time I actually play it.

Sea of Stars: Absolutely gorgeous and looks really fun as well, taking inspiration from one of my favorite games ever. Apparently it got a demo so I'll probably give that a try. I still need to play The Messenger though...

Game Boy and Game Boy Advance added to Nintendo Switch Online: Finally! And now I actually have the Expansion Pack thanks to a friend so I can get hyped about GBA too. The libraries are a bit limited for the time being but that's to be expected. Looking forward to replaying some of my favorites from that era and also try a few classics for the first time. Although the games I'm most hyped about are the ones that were confirmed to come in the future, like Oracle of Seasons/Ages, Pokémon TCG, Metroid Fusion and of course freaking GOLDEN SUN (yes, I'm ready to replay it for the millionth time).

Metroid Prime Remastered: Okay, I wasn't expecting this one, even though it had been rumored for a while. While I would've liked to see the entire trilogy in one package, the first Prime is arguably the best one and also one of the best games ever made. The remake looks amazing and much more polished than just a simple HD port. Seriously, if you haven't played this game before, give it a try, it's a masterpiece, and this is coming from someone who hates shooters (Metroid Prime isn't really a shooter).

Baten Kaitos I & II Remaster: HOLY SHIT. Another one (two?) that I always wanted to play but didn't get when it first came out before it became impossible to find, and never bothered with trying to emulate. I'd love to give the series a chance on modern hardware.

Professor Layton And The New World of Steam: HOOOOOO BOY!!! This might seriously be my favorite announcement of the Direct, even though they didn't really show us anything! I was a HUGE Layton fan during the DS era and I was so sad that the series kinda just died all of a sudden. I'm honestly so fucking hyped for this! Please be good, please be good, please be good!

Mario Kart 8 Deluxe DLC Wave 4: The new track looks amazing! Yoshi's Island was one of the defining games from my childhood so this gets me extremely nostalgic. Also Birdo was a nice surprise! I wasn't expecting characters in the pass! While I don't really care about Birdo in particular, this opens the door for more characters so maybe this means I can finally have my boy Diddy Kong again. Please. It's been so long.

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom: Honestly I don't have a lot to say about this one. Am I hyped? Absolutely. But we still know so little about this game! What's the story about? How does it differ from BotW? Although, part of me kinda wishes it stays this way. Trailers tend to spoil too much stuff these days, so I'm fine with keeping the surprises for when I actually play the game. Oh, and it's a minor thing, but I hope they bring back Wolf Link and/or a similar mechanic (and not locked to amiibo this time). I just loved exploring Hyrule with a doggo.

Overall a really exciting Direct, and there were also a bunch of other cool announcements that I didn't touch here. Now to work on my backlog so I can play shiny new games without feeling guilty, lol.

[creature-wizard]

just found the blog i was talking about again and hoo boy did i dodge a bullet when i unfollowed them. i dont want to be mean about someone(s) whos clearly Been Through Some Shit but ozian is posting about crispr supersoldier projects and - from a quick search - does indeed believe in jewel and metal programming. idk how i keep narrowly avoiding falling into stuff like this

Hoooooo boy, you really did dodge a bullet. CRISPR supersoldiers are some right wing/QAge conspiracy theory shit.

[thevoiceinyourheadx]

Hoooooo boy do i have a STORY for you

So when I first started high school, we had a period on Thursday mornings that I can't remember what they were called, but they were basically religious groups. And this was public school, in no way affiliated with any religion, and most certainly meant to be secular.

There were only 3 religions catered to - Protestant, Catholic, and Jewish; I believe there were a couple of different Protestant denominations also. You had to actively opt out, so most kids ended up in a religious group. There was a group for atheist/kids who didn't fit into one of the main religions, and they had absolutely no idea what to do with us.

After my first year, they suddenly decided us heathens needed more direction, so they brought in an external company to run the misfit group. The first thing that company did was split us into girls and boys groups.

And that's where the sexism started.

I had to sit through an ETIQUETTE class. In the 21st century. Teaching me which fork was correct, and how to arrange a table. The boy's group got taught how to tie knots. I'm fairly certain we also did a class on posture and a class on ironing (which would be fine, except again it was JUST the girls)

I was a little shit who Won't Put Up With This (I was only 12 at this point), so I IMMEDIATELY went to my mum to complain. My mum, who I learnt my devious non-conformist behaviour from, immediately did some digging. You know what she found?

This company they had teaching us how to be good little ladies was basically Hillsong, not even hiding it. This was around the time Hillsong was in the media for basically being a cult, and my mum was Not Having It.

She got a bunch of parents, mainly families who followed a different religion (our area had a lot of middle eastern and South Asian families) together, and of course they were FURIOUS that a secular school was forcing kids into Hillsong classes. Kicked up a MASSIVE fuss. I don't think it ever got to the media, but EVERYONE in our area knew what was happening.

Shortly after, all religious classes were scrapped entirely and instead we all got a late start on Thursday. The principal also suddenly left at the end of that school year, but no word on wether or not that was related. I graduated a decade ago now, but as far as I know they STILL have late starts on Thursdays.

And that's the story of how my mum basically gave my entire school a free period 😂

...actually now that i think about it. did you have religion class in school? also was it mandatory??

extra points reblog and tell me where youre from in the tags because for us religion* is a non-mandatory class where in high school you don't get grades but extra points that might help you in other classes**

*and with that i mean Christianity Class because wow i love being in the same region where the pope is /s ** which is the only reason i kept attending

[thebonerpit]

So I've been rewatching the Alien movies and I was sure that Alien 3 would stay at the bottom of my list but I just finished Alien Resurrection and hoooooo boy it did not age well. As the credits were going at the beginning I saw "Written By: Joss Whedon" and I groaned out loud because I FORGOT and yeah it's unfortunately very Whedon and very dated.

The biggest crime is it doesn't even feel like an Alien movie. Even though there's still obviously xenomorphs and some gross gore and goo it feels so... sanitized? Idk. The music is sooooo summer blockbuster and the direction is so cheesy and if it weren't for the xenomorphs it could be just a generic action movie. Also god WAY too many flashing lights holy shit even for someone who isn't prone to seizures it was hurting my eyes.

Anyway the best part is the insane sexual tension between Ripley and Call. Gimme that lesbian freak4freak relationship!