#hoo boy this drawing made me hungry actually

[orange-artblog]

fnk week day 4 - falling

ccino by black-nyanko

nightmare (cat) by jokublog

killer by rahafwabas

fluffynightkiller week by @help-im-a-gay-fish

[johannstutt413]

(requested by anonymous)

The Doctor was getting his daily exercise in at the gym, punching the shit out of a bag because he didn’t have enough carpal tunnel already, when FEater flying jump kick’d the punching bag next to him, managing to land on her feet. “Hey, Doctor! Can I borrow you for something today?”

“Depends on what you need to borrow me for,” he shrugged, still punching.

“Lava and Nian found an Infected-only movie studio while they were working on their New Year’s film, ” she explained, “and when they found out I’m with RI, they wanted to know if I’d star in one of their films. I’ve got a script, and I need to practice, but I need someone to read lines with. Can you read with me?”

He thought about it before agreeing. “I’ll finish up here and find you later, if that’s alright with you.”

“Yeah, sure! Message me when you’re free?”

“Will do.” Wait a minute. “You’re not here for a punching bag or anything?”

She shook her head. “I just figured you’d be here. Gotta get back to the editing room, but I’ll see you later!”

“Yeah, see ya.” The Doctor went back to his boxing, but he had to wonder: why him? Surely there were better actors on-base, right?

After finishing his workout and a shift in his office, it wouldn’t have surprised FEater if he’d forgotten her request; fortunately for her, he hadn’t, and so one shower later, he made his way to the Ursan’s dorm. “FEater? I’m here.”

“One sec!...Stupid dress.” She wasn’t quite done grumbling when she answered the door, but seeing his face seemed to improve her mood substantially. “Come on in, Doctor.”

“Gladly. That’s a really nice dress on you.” 

She smiled. “Thanks! So, since the scene happens at a restaurant, I went ahead and set a table. You know, for props.”

“There are queues, too? Alright, fair enough.” The Doctor sat at the table, noting the copy of a script where there might normally be a menu. “Who am I in this scene? I see a name, but there’s no description of them...”

“You and I used to be operatives for agencies which rarely worked together in the past, but while assigned to a mission together, there was a spark of something - love blooming on the battlefield, you know how it is. We finished the job, things changed regarding our employment, and now we’re making good on a promise we made to go get dinner ‘sometime.’” She adjusted her sunglasses, atop her head even indoors.

He smirked. “This sounds more like a romance than an action movie.”

“Oh, it is. I’m more than just a fighter, you know.” FEater gestured to the bottle. “You’ve got the first line and a few glasses of wine to pour, Doctor.”

“Right. Let’s see here…*pouring two glasses of wine* - Wait, this is a real bottle.”

She shrugged. “I usually have a little something when doing readings.”

“Fair enough. Alright, acting time. ‘I’m regretting letting you pick the place - after the Larkin fiasco, I can barely afford the appetizers. Hope you don’t mind sharing an entree.’” Following the script’s advice, he took a sip, thankful she’d gone for red instead of white.

“‘Consider it my treat; it’s my fault you were taken off the force, and I have some money stowed away.’” She sighed. “‘I’d hoped our first date would be a bit more triumphant than this.’”

The Doctor’s smirk from earlier returned with a vengeance. “‘Tch. The writing was on the wall from the moment they put us on that case...You ever wonder why they picked us to sacrifice?’”

“‘Luck of the draw, I guess.’”

“‘Chance had nothing to do with it.’” He stared into his wine, the show of confidence wavering. “‘You said as much when we met.’”

FEater leaned forward, and the Doctor’s eyes drilled into the bottom of his glass. “‘A few weeks ago, I was the golden child in my unit. Now, I’m paying for dinner with a guy I met on a mission in and out of the jaws of hell and using a grant for a master’s degree I never finished to do it. As wrong as I was about my future, I’m willing to admit I might’ve been wrong about a few other things.’”

“‘Well, as the one you constantly proved wrong during that trial by fire, I’m glad to have gotten at least one thing right in all of this.’”

“‘Oh, really?’” She reclined back in her chair, draining her glass with one gulp and sliding it back onto the table. “‘And what was that? Nothing about the case, clearly.’”

He looked at her with a mix of admiration and hurt. “‘That was uncalled for.’”

“‘Sorry, I just...Everything’s downhill from here, you know? I don’t have anything to show for the five years of my life, all because I let one aptitude test decide where I spent it.’”

“‘...As selfish as this sounds, I’m glad you did.’” The Doctor refilled her glass before topping off his. “‘The only good thing that’s happened to me since getting that assignment was meeting you.’”

She stared at him. “‘You’re serious?’”

“‘You’re the only reason I’m here. I live an hour away from this restaurant, which is out of my price range and offers maybe three dishes I know anything about; I swore off of dating after I got mugged by a date’s ex after she’d shot me down; and I’d promised myself that I’d never consider dating someone from my career field, so by all accounts, this is exactly the last place I want to be, doing the exact last thing I’d expect to do...And not only did I still come here to see you, but I would’ve walked here if I had to.’”

“Hoo, boy.” FEater took a deep breath, fanning herself. “Sorry to break the scene, Doctor, but...I didn’t expect you to come across so authentically. It feels like you’re actually confessing to me.”

He scratched at the back of his neck. “I just did what came naturally. Was it really that good?”

“I’ve worked with professionals less attrac- I mean, less convincing than you.”

“Hang on a second...” The Doctor swirled his glass with a Machiavellian air. “I think I understand why you chose me now.”

She chuckled. “I guess I gave it away with that, didn’t I? Up until I said that, did you have any idea?”

“Honestly, no, I didn’t even think that was possible. Attractive? Really?”

“Your mirror must lie to you if you haven’t realized it yourself.” She stood up. “Well, now that the cat’s out of the bag, I don’t have to use my secret weapon, so-”

He held up a hand. “FEater, you can’t just tell me you had a secret weapon and get away with it.”

“Alright, then. How’s your back right now?”

“Um, fine, I guess.” What kind of question was that? “What are you-”

FEater turned her script completely over and moved the wine off the table. “Very last page.”

“*Sudden detonation from behind Vivia-* No, there’s no way you-”

“Remember how I’m a video editor?” She grinned, tapping her glasses. “I do a bit of effects work, too. Who do you think takes care of my gauntlets?”

The Doctor looked under the table. “Where the hell’s the-”

There was an audible boom as the table was blasted aside by an air cannon; as the launch occurred, FEater leapt forward, tackling him out of his chair and to the ground pressed firmly on top of him. 

“My secret weapon! Or secret weapons, I guess. Heh.”

“...Smooth,” he managed once his breath returned. “Now that we’re on the same page, I’m getting kind of hungry. How about we go out tonight?”

She shook her head. “I’ve got some pizza on the way; don’t feel like going out tonight.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“Because you’re here already.” FEater brushed aside the Doctor’s errant bangs, licking her lips. “And I’ve got you right where I want you~”

[indigocloudofnarcolepsy]

I got tagged by @tough-girl9 to list my top 7 comfort films which turned into a top 8

I'm more of a comfort song type, so that was a tough (girl) one

1.: Treasure Planet

I adore this movie! I loved it when I was smaller and I love it now. The only reason I didn't watch it to death was the fact that I lost the DVD. It's gorgeous and although the main premise is space pirates thanks to the focus on the characters it feels grounded and easier to relate to or to feel simpathy towards them. Besides Jim Hawkins being a childhood crush I could always relate to him. The feeling of being lost, aimless and the words

"- I can't watch you throw away your future like that!

- What future?"

always spoke to me. It's not an edge and teen angst fest tho, John Silver and his speech is both in character and always chokes me up and gives me hope that there are pathes that could lead to the future I want and that I wasn't abled to see.

It's the perfect movie for those who feel lost or confused and want to sail to far away planets from their current situation, those who want to be understood and given hope to.

(I could gush about the art and animation and characters for hours, but this is not the time)

Amazing background music and the songs fit well with the steampunk-ish style of the movie

2.: Ratatouille

A family classic. We even have the ps2 game and it's one of those rarities which my family could watch anytime. Besides being beautiful and having a 10/10 aesthetic (and a huge dose of food p0®π) it's a grounded movie.

The premise is as feaver dream-y and goofy as it gets. A rat learns english (or french? The movie takes place in Paris but it's either confusing or I'm just a dum dum) and thanks to an imaginary friend version of his chef idol ends up in his restaurant and makes a deal with the garbage boy of whom the chef thinks can cook and reluctantly agrees give him another chance to make the soup that was actually made by (fixed by) the rat aka Remy. So the boy Linguini and Remy has to team up where it seems like Linguini is making the soup but he is actually in Remy's control.

But the movie is actually about being an artist and coming from an unexpected place and being surrounded by people who don't support you or believe in you even if they were just trying to protect you or think that it's the best for you.

Fellow artists could definetly appreciate the movie. Whether you croche, draw, animate, sculpt, dance, act or do any kind of art I would absolutely recommend.

Le Festin is great and is on loop during dinner

Warning: get food ready because you WILL get hungry. Even if it's just bread this movie will make it taste like garlic bread just you wait

3.: Strange Magic

It's one of the controversial ones. Not everyone likes it and a lot hate it but that's okay.

It's one of those films where either you praise it to death or wonder which deeper layer of hell did it crawled out of. There is no in between. I'm one from the first category. Even my IT teacher called it a classic and I roped most of my friend group into the SM cult.

It has a certain tumblr aesthetic and feels like a fanficrion the best way possible. One of those where altho something unsuspected happens it's written well, the characters are in character it's finished and the grammar is proper as well.

It's a jukebox musical which is one of my fauvorite kind of musical, the covers are amazing and damn they can change up the originals songs aesthetic to it's opposite so damn well (Trouble - Elvis Presley)

It centers around love and I ain't no shipper nor romantic but even I was gushing over the main couple which is spoiler alert so that's all you get

I absolutely adore how the characters express themselves with their wings and body! I'm all about feelings and expressions!

So try it out and even if you don't like it you're allowed to stop. And if you like it: welcome to the fandom in this house we respect Marianne, the Bog King is a snack and must protect Dawn at all cost!

(this is a pick me up movie for me the other two more of a shoulder to cry on)

Speaking of crying

4.: The Little Prince

Not gonna lie I was extremely suspicious of this movie. I immediately categorised it as a cheap cash grab which only use sonething known and beloved because it's known and beloved so people will buy.

I expected the Emoji Movie, I got the LEGO Movie.

This movie. Hoo boy, this movie. You know, it's nothing, I only cried 4 times after all!

It's so respectful towards the material it's given. So heartfelt and creative and artistic! It's the Little Prince sequel that fits well in modern times.

In this film the Little Prince is a story that an old man tells his new young girl of a neighbour. Both of them needed a friend and it's one of those unexpected duos where the girl is forced to be mature way too early and the man is way too childish so they balance each other out and the man gives the girl (I can't remember their names god damn it) the breath of fresh air she needed.

This movie is so damn cute! I mentioned a shoulder to cry on movies and pick me up movies, this one is both! It's a bittersweet dream!

You are going to cry. So get ready.

5.: Hunchback of Notre Dame

Oh man oh God oh man oh God oh man

I'm obsessed with this movie (and musical)

It's dark and mature and definetly a-shoulder-to-cry-on movie. I love and relate to Quasimodo. Altho I'm not deformed I was always the weird girl everyone picked on and hated and I still can't understand why. I think I'm a perfectly normal person but when my mom calls me a freak/eccentric behind my back and my aunt gives me a gift with the words "since you looked nothing like the other girls on your prom..." I... I'm just more confused honestly. I'm always so damn tired and basically a hermit so thanks to that Out There hit way too close to home.

Esmeralda is a 10/10 role modell. She is a beautiful soul inside and outside. And she's romani. Which is the most hated minority in my country.

The movie deals with lust, abusive and manipulative parents, racism, religion, "ugly"ness, lonelyness. These might sound repelling but to see something similar happen to you/a character looking/being/sounding like you is worth more than life, honestly. Unless you can live through this kinship with a character, you have no idea how needed this is.

(I cried so hard watching The Grinch (2018) since I used to have Panic disorder and I'm an anxious person to see him being scared the way I do and to fiddle with his fingers and think like I do was the most comforting thing I felt in my life)

This movie is so damn gorgeous. I know I said that to almost every movie in this list but this is a biblical epic gorgeous. And of course, Hellfire is THE best Diney villain song FIGHT ME I'M RIGHT

The musical is even darker and more serious but damn it's worth a watch. It's on youtube.

6. Brother Bear

This movie is *drumroll* gorgeous. Each movie on this list is gorgeous in different ways. This is nature-gorgeous.

Pick me up movie, definetly. It's mostly adorable but they tap into some meaningful things and there are tragedies happening, my dude!

Like Hunchback of Notre Dame the main subject is "who is the monster and who is the man?". This movie shows some perspective, I tell you!

7.: Coco

I know the hungarian translation by heart

It's very family oriented, so if you don't have any or have a bad realtionship with it, this movie will give you a heartache

This movie takes place in Mexico and explores parts of mexican culture.

I adore and am interested in different cultures, folklore, tradition and religion so I was head over heels really quick with this movie!

Gorgeous imagery and music. Heartfelt, that last Remember Me WILL get you

8.: The Croods

Y'ALL

I know, it looks like a movie that made only for kids. But dude! It's about family, change and how people deal with it. It takes place in an alternative world, where animals we know are mixed together (MOUSELEFANT!! CROCO DOGGO!!) the most adorable way possible and it takes place in prehistoric times.

Oh god, this movie is full of feelings and gorgeous imagery! Pick me up, definetly! Of course, it's full of jokes but they are so witty to me!

Sorry, I got impatient by the end of it

I would tag people if I would know anyone well in this site. The 2 people I want to tag: is already tagged me and the other one is probably too busy

[magicplanetanime]

Let’s Watch Heartcatch Pretty Cure! Episodes 4 & 5

I’ve got a twofer for y’all today. My first, in fact! Two episodes that introduce new villains and go for some solid morals about growing up, let’s dive right in.

Episode 4 - The Precure partnership is already dissolved?!

This episode actually starts with a cold open, which is not something I really knew this franchise did. Still, it’s a neat way to really get the narrative moving at the jump, which is useful here, because this episode moves along at a pretty steady clip.

The cold open details the girls--well, mostly just Marine, we’ll get to that in a second--taking out a Desertrian. This one created not by Sasorina, but by new arrival Kurojacky, who kind of looks like he’s just stepped out of Captain Harlock.

This guy is the token “honorable” villain, which the episode makes clear at several points a bit later on. The girls go at the Desertrian but Blossom kind of bungles her half of the super awesome combination attack and Marine ends up beating the thing basically by herself. If you’re looking for a sum-up of the intro, it’s basically these two pictures:

This episode’s core makes itself apparent pretty quickly. Tsubomi feels that both as Cure Blossom and in general, she’s just not as good at things as Erika is. Erika, being her usual somewhat blockheaded self, does not really pick up on this insecurity, setting up the episode’s central conflict.

Despite what the title might imply, the two don’t actually fight per se. Tsubomi seems about as taken with Erika’s can-do attitude as anyone else.

It is more of an insecurity thing, something that’s by now establishing itself as a running theme of her character.

This is something that repeats throughout the episode. And not just repeats, but is mirrored in the relationship between the two characters-of-the-week, a pair of tennis players. The parallel is pretty clear; as Tsubomi runs her overactive imagination in circles, envisioning Erika leaving her

The taller of the tennis player girls stresses that her partner is going to leave her because she’s the weaker member of their team.

Sidebar here: the term “partner” is used a lot in this episode, and while it’s probably not intended to be read with any romantic undertones, it’s certainly easy to read that way if you want to.

After Erika gives some poorly-worded advice to the tennis girl, Tsubomi misinterprets, and thinks Erika wants to break off their partnership. This leads to her running home in tears and seeking comfort in um, the bosom of the big furry thing, Coupe.

I think I’m just going to accept that this guy is cuter if you’re like, 12, and move on.

Meanwhile Erika is having an issue of her own. Tsubomi ran off, and she understands that it’s her fault *somehow* but she isn’t really sure how. Her older sister also appears--fairylike--to offer her some advice of her own, which she also doesn’t really get. Plainly; both girls have flaws. Tsubomi’s is her low self-esteem, and Erika’s is her tendency to speak without thinking.

But it’s worth pausing to note here that the show doesn’t really seem to place any blame on either of them for this. They are, after all, young girls navigating the confusing world of social relationships. Tsubomi has anxiety to deal with, and Erika has a lack of social graces. As another, potentially controversial sidebar, Erika rather seems autistic to me. I don’t expect the show to ever address this directly (it’s a children’s program after all and those tend toward the broad as opposed to the specific. See also Star Twinkle Precure’s most recent episode, which is not directly about cultural diversity but also, is super about cultural diversity), but as someone with ADHD, a lot of this just seems rather, well, familiar. But perhaps I’m projecting.

And we get the capper on that with the fight in this episode. Which is fairly short. Kurojacky transforms the tennis girl into a Desertrian that uses a rollbar to mow down the tennis fence and menace several nearby students--appropriately, it’s deemed Roller. Tsubomi and Erika work out their misunderstanding, and Erika actually says this after learning why Tsubomi was upset, which I feel like lends credence to my aforementioned headcanon (do people still say that? Eh, whatever. I do)

The misunderstanding cleared up, Marine reassures Blossom that yes, of course she does want to be her partner. Again, maybe it’s just me, but the implications at least on the part of whoever wrote the script really seem to border on romantic here.

I mean jeez she even winks and a heart comes out.

They destroy the Desertrian, recapturing the heart flower and healing the tennis girl (who also makes up with her partner) and, well, basically roll credits.

Yeah, that’d be the moral summed up nice and neatly at the episode’s end. Pleasant ain’t it?

This was a cute episode, and the message is one that a lot of little girls probably need to hear. Friendship is important, and knowing how to maintain friendships (and relationships in general really, whether they’re platonic, romantic, or whatever else) is one of the most important life skills a person can learn full stop. So it’s nice to see it addressed here. Plus, we’ve got a new villain. I should also mention that there’s a vague mention of the Desert folkz wanting to make people despair so they can conquer the world which I think is the first direct mention we get of their motives, but it’s been pretty obvious so I didn’t bring it up. All of this is cool, and that’s another solid episode in the show’s bag.

Episode 5 - Rejected Ramen! Heal the Father-Son bond!

This episode’s title cuts right to the chase. Immediately it tells you three things. There’s a father, a son, and a bond between them that needs to be healed. Also, ramen. We’re introduced to the ramen shop owner’s son, Akira, in the episode’s opening minute.

There’s no real beating around the bush this time around either. The episode quickly establishes that the core conflict is between Akira, who was initially supportive of his father’s ramen business but is now finding it cutting into his time to play baseball, and his aforementioned father.

There’s some nice fluff in the first part of the episode unrelated to this though. Firstly, we get Tsubomi showing off a knack for flower arrangements. She suggests adding a splash of the (unfortunately named, but it is what they’re really called) rapeseed blossom flower to a bouquet to give it some more “Spring-ness”, which she is promptly praised for. It’s nice to see the show have someone directly praise Tsubomi, since it’s been made clear she’s kind of insecure. It shows her parents understand their daughter pretty well.

Next, the fairies come to Erika and Tsubomi, expressing that they’re hungry. What follows is an honestly kind of bizarre scene where Erika roots around in Coupe’s....heart patch....thing to pull out some kind of magical sippy cup for the fairies.

I imagine said cup was the hot new toy (or maybe it was just an actual thermos? Who knows) product the show had to shill. Still, it’s a pretty ungraceful piece of product placement. It did give us this absolutely amazing Erika expression though, so it’s certainly not all bad.

There’s a short scene further reinforcing the conflict between Akira and his father, but before we get much else, there’s a cut to the Desert Apostles’ fortress, where we’re introduced to a third bad guy, and hoo boy.

This is Kobraja. Fabulous, isn’t he? This show seems to really enjoy drawing adults as though they’ve stepped out of some heavily-stylized 90s series. I really dig it, though I feel like Kobraja’s overtly-femme appearance might land on just the wrong side of stereotypical. I’d say I’m reaching, but I was apparently not the only person with this thought.

Never change, NIHON TV. Anyway he vows to succeed where the other two villains failed. Sure he will.

We see another short scene where Akira is offered a bowl of ramen by his dad, which he promptly rebuffs.

He doesn’t actually *do* much here other than grit his teeth and look generally angry (the life of a young teen boy can be a stressful one indeed), which I found a little surprising. Kids’ shows tend to lend themselves well to explosive outbursts of emotion, which this is too restrained to really be that, although probably more realistic. He does yell a bit later but it’s still more restrained than is the norm with this sort of thing. An interesting writing / directorial choice to be certain.

MEANWHILE OUTSIDE

Good lord.

But, y’all know the drill by this point. Kobraja finds Akira angsting outside, and we promptly advance from Soccer Golems to Ramen Monsters.

Hilariously, after making his introduction, Kobraja tosses the girls some pocket-sized model shots of himself. The dude is a *fun* villain, if nothing else.

There’s two interesting things about the fight scene that follows. One is that it’s incredibly quality, with the ramen monster using His Noodly Appendages as whips and Cure Marine at one point skating along them like she’s going for a high score in Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2.

The second is that this is the first indication we get that the Desertrians can actually resist their “programming” to some extent, since shortly after the ramen monster accidentally hits Blossom it starts actually crying.

We’re told that this is because both the anger and not wanting to hurt his father are part of Akira’s true feelings, which makes some sense. Also, the kid’s voice actor deserves some serious credit for managing to put *genuine emotional pull* into the wailings of what I must reiterate, is a monster whose head is a giant bowl of ramen.

It doesn’t take much beyond some taunting from the villain to get Blossom to pull out her “I’m not going to stand for this!!” catchphrase (have I brought that up? It took me a while to even realize it was supposed to *be* a catchphrase) and before long we’re back in flower crucifixion territory.

I’m never going to get over this.

After defeating the ramen monster, it doesn’t take much for Akira and his dad to reconcile. Interestingly, it’s actually left ambiguous as to whether Akira’s parents remember the Desertrian attack or not, though I’d guess not.

I quite liked this episode. While the last one was solid I think I prefer this one. The interesting thing to me here is that the show seems to recognize that it’s not really Akira who’s messed up here, it’s his dad, and it’s accordingly his father who does most of the apologizing here.

That parents can also screw up--even just through inattention--is something I wish more kids’ shows acknowledged. Still, everything that ends with a hearty meal ends well, and the episode ends more or less on that exact note.

See y’all next time!

[sttngfashion]

Genesis - 7.19

It’s a fashion-light episode but it DOES involve Spot, so. 

We start with Riker in sickbay getting some sort of spiny plant removed from his back after things “started getting romantic” with him and another crew member in the arboretum. 

Fuck so hard I roll over dangerous plants and don’t give two shits

Nurse Ogawa is here, which is always a pleasure, and she’s rocking a seriously voluminous updo, sort of a 1940s meets 1990s sensible French twist. I’m sure she loves having to remove Riker’s sexytime plant spines. That’s definitely what she went to Starfleet Nursing Academy for. 

Barclay is also in sickbay, because: Barclay.

He literally claimed he had something called “Terellian Death Syndrome” which is honestly a terrible name for a syndrome

Beverly has asked him repeatedly not to search the medical database before coming to her (AKA Never Search WebMD), but of course Broccoli does. She’s got her gorgeous strawberry shortcake season 7 hair happening:

MFW Barclay shows up in sickbay for the third time this week

The other patient being tended to is also a beautiful redhead:

The laying on of hands

Spot is pregnant and at first I was like “HOW THE FUCK DID SPOT GET PREGNANT” but apparently a) there are 12 male cats on board and b) Spot has a tendency to sneak out of Data’s quarters.

Okay, listen.

1. If there are AT LEAST 13 cats on board, WHERE ARE THEY? I want a Bridge Cat.

Bridge Cat: artist’s rendering

2. HOW IS SPOT GETTING OUT? This is a fucking SPACESHIP. Shit should be LOCKED DOWN. It’s literally AIRTIGHT. I GUESS she could sneak through, like, a vent or something but if you’re going to have cats on board, you need to PLAN for their fuckery.

This could be really bad

3. If the cats are WANDERING THE SHIP, aren’t you worried they’re going to end up in the warp core? Or that even just their fur is? WHO IS VACUUMING UP ALL THE FUR.

Anyway, Crusher is apparently also a veterinarian (which I guess makes sense since she treats all sorts of species) and says that Spot should deliver her babies soon. Nurse Ogawa then says that she’s also pregnant! THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER, which is the only reason she says it.

Also important for later:

Oh yeah gimme that t-cell injection

I’ll just tell you now that all the weird stuff that occurs in this episode is a result of Broccoli’s mutated t-cells after he gets this shot (or something). It’s (enjoyable) nonsense so don’t worry about it. I just wanted you to see how much he loved getting this hypospray.

Picard and Data have to drive through an asteroid field to get a stray torpedo (bad). Data asks Barclay to keep an eye on Spot, since she’s about to give birth, and she likes Barclay best of all the people on board. You can tell by the way she looks at him:

This IS my “I love you” face

Broccoli is pleased, because no one likes him.

WE’RE BEST FRIENDS NOW

It’s actually very sweet; Barclay even seems to know something about cats and asks Data where she’s planning to have her kittens.

With Barclay’s luck, she will have them inside his pants while he’s wearing them, somehow

I just really enjoy Data’s display case here, with his violin case juuuuust open enough to let all the dust in, but not quite enough to actually see the instrument.

Spot’s in good hands:

Yarn, Spot? You cliche

Elsewhere on the ship, Worf is having a fucking feast:

No I asked for a SIDE of tentacles

This looks delicious, actually. Giant turkey leg? Some kind of weird dried fish? Potato salad on a bed of green beans? I’m in. 

Troi shows up, a little upset that Worf didn’t wait for her, since they planned to have lunch together. He’s mean and it’s weird. You can already tell something STRANGE is happening on the ship, mostly because Troi is NOT wearing a jewel tone:

Eileen Fisher for Spacefleet

Drink this look in, kids, because it’s one of the two non-uniform looks in this episode. We can see here that I THINK Troi is wearing some Danskin shimmer tights with her beige on beige minidress and matching waterfall cardigan. The color is not what we usually see on her, but it’s not terrible (except for my pre-existing anti-beige bias). It’s certainly along the lines of what I wear when I’m lounging around.

Secret pajamas except it’s not a secret. It’s just pajamas I wear in public

Ed. note: I copied that picture of my cat Violet to my clipboard earlier when I was making the images above and I accidentally pasted it here and I can’t bring myself to delete it.

Troi’s hair has reached its astonishing season 7 pouf levels and I just love everything about it. Anyway, Worf is acting like a real dick, but we do get another good look at those Ten-Forward outfits.

IS THAT HOUNDSTOOTH

If I ever attend another con, that’s going to be my look because houndstooth is everything to me.

Later, Worf’s dickishness turns into something MORE:

I’M A DICK ON A RAMPAGE

This scene is super dark and it’s not totally clear what’s happening, but Worf basically just destroys his own quarters, including his pillows, then cuddles up with them on the floor. We do get a decent look at Worf’s jammies, which are brown and might be made of varying colors of burlap.

If anyone was gonna wear burlap pajamas, it would be the Klingons

I’m not sure what’s going on with that shoulder detail, but it can’t be that comfortable to sleep in? But again - Klingons aren’t exactly a culture that considers “comfort” to be something to aim for. If you showed a Klingon an Aerosole, he would 100% cut it in half and throw the halves in your face.

These PJs might also be linen, which would be WAY nicer to sleep in, but a little off-brand. I mean, a Klingon in linen? Can you imagine? Hold on, you don’t have to:

Pure white to better show off the blood of my slain enemies

So everyone is acting weird. Troi is like “I’m cold. I need a bath,” and walks off the bridge. The next time we see her, this is happening:

Deanna, sweetie? It’s more relaxing if you take your uniform off

As she’s taking her fully-clothed bath, Worf busts in and:

CHOMP

It’s actually very upsetting, and at first neither of them even really know how to react either:

Oh god did I just bite you

Did you just fucking BITE me??????

Troi goes to sickbay, where she gets my favorite disco blanket:

Disco Blanket: Because why shouldn’t a blanket be iridescent

To be fair, emergency blankets ARE shiny, so.

You better believe that’s an affiliate link, friend

Okay so THEN Crusher is examining Worf and she asks him to open his mouth and HOO BOY was that a mistake.

Does the replicator not have the recipe for Listerine, or

He SPRAYS her like a fucking dilophosaurus!! 

NOT IN THE FAAAAAAAAAACE

Later someone says her injuries were so bad that SHE WILL NEED RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGERY. That means in every episode after this (not many, but still), we are seeing a RECONSTRUCTED BEV. 

So everyone is losing it, basically, which doesn’t explain why Broccoli thinks this is a normal way to stand:

Is this how a human? Does a stand? How is stand

Finally, Picard and Data come back, and when they arrive, the Enterprise is just adrift. They board and find this:

Sir, if the t-shirt does not spark joy when you touch it, the book counsels you to throw it away. I was unable to apply this method as I do not feel joy, nor any other emotion

It’s the shed skin of a reptile, which: whaaaaaat? Ain’t no reptiles on this ship!

Narrator: actually, there were reptiles on this ship

Troi is still in the bathtub when Picard and Data find her, and she is like, half lizard because the t-cells released when Barclay got that hypospray are making everyone de-evolve. Sure. She looks terrible, which is a real feat since Marina Sirtis is such a Betty:

Honestly she’s still p hot

I think my favorite part of this makeup is the gecko-like fingertips. Excellent detail. Love the scales, love the contacts, love the unripe banana shade of green they used. All great. 

Data and Picard go check out what else is happening, and they find a caveman at one of the control panels:

Not a Starfleet regulation haircut

But what’s this? It’s not a caveman at all! It’s...

I heard dramatic eyebrows were back in

...Riker! I guess! The makeup on Frakes here is SO heavy that it’s not immediately apparent that it’s Riker, except that he’s wearing command red and has a beard. Plus, Picard says “Will?” upon this reveal. 

FUCK YOU GUYS

I’m saving this as my “flipping the bird” image to use forever.

Data and Picard manage to subdue Riker and get him to sickbay, after which they go to Data’s quarters to use his computer. But guess what happened?

KITTENS

Spot had her babies! They’re legit VERY small kittens and very cute. Data says they’re hungry, and wonders why Spot isn’t taking care of them. And then comes one of the best shots since chicken in the hallway:

Sup

IT’S AN IGUANA WEARING SPOT’S COLLAR. SPOT DEVOLVED INTO LITERALLY JUST AN IGUANA. I laughed so hard at this shot and I REALLY wanted the kittens to interact with the iguana, but they didn’t. I don’t know if that iguana was even on set.

LOL

Data notes that the kittens didn’t turn into baby iguanas, so he thinks maybe there’s some kind of cure for the devolution from pregnancy? Or something? This is where Nurse Ogawa’s recently-announced pregnancy comes into play. So he goes to sickbay, and Picard goes to see what’s going on in Engineering, and finds:

Help meeee

Barclay devolved into, like, a spider? I guess? Because this gene mutating thing is just nuts and does whatever the effects people think will look cool. (And they all do look pretty cool.)

Nurse Ogawa has devolved into Standard Neanderthal #4:

On loan from the American Museum of National History

And finally, the big boss: Worf. Worf turned into something with an exoskeleton that was able to make this dent in the sickbay door:

Rude

Picard and Data speculate that Worf thinks Troi is his mate (sure) and he’s trying to get through the door to her, so they synthesize her pheromones to draw Worf away from sickbay so that Data can focus on making a cure with Nurse Ogawa’s pregnancy hormones. Obviously. But first Picard has to get out of sickbay.

PEEK

Picard manages to lure away the Worf-monster, which looks like this:

Part beetle, part conch shell, all covered in chocolate

It’s hard to see what’s happening but what you can see is just really gnarly:

Are there horny toads on Klingon?

Ultimately, Data is successful in making a cure and sends it through the air ducts so everyone on board is fine. And when Barclay finds out that it was his treatment that started it all, and that he might have a disease named after him:

A hypochondriac’s dream

And don’t forget: THERE ARE AT LEAST 13 CATS ON THE ENTERPRISE