#honeytreats~🍰

[ellieonomy]

roommate!eren hc

genre: sfw, nsfw headcannons

parings: erenxreader

cw: mostly gn sfw+nsfw, cheating, voyeurism (kinda), mentions of masturbation+cream pie+squirting ,eren is a little pervert occasionally.

an: this really isnt that proofread but it was in my drafts so i’m clearing it out. :(( noo actually tho this eren is always my fav, it just seems like it would be nice to live with him.

roommate!eren is so cliche or.. something but like ugh I eat it up all the time.

like roommate!eren who doesn’t like your current boyfriend. gets so obviously jealous telling them to fuck off when they so much as say hi to him, you’ve lost count how many times you had to prevent a heated altercation.

roommate!eren feels like it's justified though .He barely takes you out, your excuse for that being “we haven't been together that long. " bullshit they should’ve been giving you the world from day one. complains and cancels your movie night because you want to watch your favorite sci-fi show, they think is lame. you watch that shit constantly, rambling about the plot first thing in the morning. So Eren is one step ahead to immediately cuddle on the couch with you instead, laughing at your stupid little jokes about a character. let's not forget when they even FORGOT your birthday once. leaving you too upset to even celebrate with Eren at home. He lets you cry in his arms after you start bawling when he bakes you a cake anyways. They just don’t treat you the way he would.

roommate!eren who’s so whipped he’s always in househusband mode for you. cooking your favorite food and cleaning the house when you’re too bummed out from work. buying your favorite wine and ice cream to share. might even wear that ridiculous apron you got him for his birthday one year.

roommate!eren often promotes the shit talk of your partner. you feel a little bad when you give in, but everyone does it, right? everyone has relationship problems they need to rant drunkenly about. Eren cannot help but explode into the loudest laugh when you tell him they haven’t made you cum. that shit right there is the fucking trigger to try and pull you in “maybe you should let me show you hmm?” he jokes, hoping you’re drunk enough to say yes.

roommate!eren doesn't believe you at first no. how could someone be so dismissive of your pleasure? and willingly miss out on things he's only seen in his dreams. like your eyes rolling back choking on spit and babbling about how you want to cum while you choke on his fingers. he doesn't believe it until you're eager to kick your boyfriend out and he hears a low buzz coming from your room just minutes later.

roommate!eren stands in front of your door to beat his dick. it's your fault, wouldn't have to if you didn't muffle your moans into your pillow. His teeth bite onto the fabric of his shirt drool wetting it till it feels almost mushy. his hand is soaked with his own spit and precum dripping at his feet. He really hopes you hear him moan your name when he's about to cum. wishes you'd help him and take his cum down your throat so he doesn't have to clean up his mess.

now roommate!eren he knows it’s a little shitty.. and manipulative to make a move when you're so vulnerable, but that one night you come home crying from an argument he’s all over you. pulling you into a tight hug and wiping your tears. you can’t help but fall for him and he can’t resist kissing your pouty lips when those watery eyes look up at him.

naturally, roommate!eren's ego is through the fucking roof when he finally gets you under him, feeling like a god when he makes you squirt for the first time ever. you’re moaning so loud for him drooling and shaking at every thrust, god his dick game is fucking deadly.

your roommate!eren won’t admit it but he’s a sucker for praise letting out cute whines when you tell him how big he is and how “it’s okay if you cum inside, feels so good so I’ll let you”.

roommate!eren is such a fucking cocky bitch asking you “who's pussy is this now huh? full fucking name baby” knowing you can barely speak while his cock is so deep inside of you, pushing his cum into you. He can't keep his eyes off of the way it leaks and sticks the two of you together. considers recording your act of submission for him and his cum stuffed in your pretty hole so he can give in his own words “your shrimp dick of a boyfriend” a reality check.

hneycxmb™ circa:4.22 no reposts/ translations without credit reblogs appreciated :’)

[ellieonomy]

eren is probably such a sweet kisser. he so gently presses his lips against yours almost like you’re made of glass. likes to hold the sides of your neck in his hands so he can stroke your jaw with his thumb. his kisses are so soft and they practically take your breath away. it makes him laugh because he’s really not doing much to you but you’re holding onto him so tightly. tells you to stick your tongue, he likes laying his flat against yours before sucking on it making you shiver. eren love love loves using tongue especially when he’s fucking you. at that point he’s so sloppily practically eating your face off cause he’s so eager spitting in your mouth letting it fall down his tongue extra fucking slow before shoving his tongue back into your mouth and when you beg him to kiss you again and again it’s like his fucking kryptonite

hneycxmb™ circa:3.22 no reposts/ translations without credit reblogs appreciated :’)

[ellieonomy]

ZEKE

that’s it.

just Zeke

no anon you’re so right actually and bc you said it here are hc i wrote last night + this morning

pairing: zekexreader

genre:hc, sfw/nsfw

cw. gn ig but “pussy” is used and reader has the ability to get pregnant (??) if that’s important to anyone (ability like it’s a quirk lol) fluff+ (little bit of smut if you squint. dirty talk ,cum (?) talk whatever you wanna call it) below the cut

an . eremika is canon here bc i said so and i love them so you will read it.

an.2 ngl first one is me projecting bc i do that all the time LMAO. so is the korn joke it’s a joke i made irl and i thought it was fucking hilarious.

zeke.. is a stupid man sometimes really. he knows he’s blind as all hell and yet every morning without fail doesn’t put his glasses on and will stay that way for hours.despite barely being able to walk around the house without squinting. he.. insists on looking out the window to people watch.“someone moving in next door?”“no honey that’s a food truck”

likes burnt bacon?? idk i wrote this in the middle of making breakfast. yk that like olive theory thing where it’s like. person a hates olives and person b loves them therefor forming the perfect alliance. yeah corny but that’s you two. you hate burnt bacon and yet still occasionally burn it. he like, definitely only ate it at first bc you felt bad but after a while he starts to genuinely like it.

zeke loves loves to read with you. yk those like weird old dudes with like, secret libraries and offices no is allowed in. weird set up for this ik. but that’s not zeke like at all. you are more than welcome to “book shop” the tightly filled shelves. he will stay in there for hours and you really don’t want to disturb him. but he gets excited every time you do. letting you sit on his lap ice melted in his glass of scotch once you get his attention cause you told him to read you to sleep which he absolutely will. sometimes he wishes he could do the same with the kids you don’t have yet.

speaking of kids. oh brother he’s so good with kids. now to be fair having kids isn’t a big conversation in your household. you’ve had it before yeah but you’re both just kinda like, “i mean.. i guess?”. though you both can agree being the cool aunt and uncle is more than enough. but oh does that biological switch click when you see him with his nieces. now your brother in law is not a bad dad no not even close, but he has his struggles as a “girl dad” sadly. sparking a extremely close bond with zeke and his twin nieces. during your weekends with them you find them with perfectly ironed matching dresses and if you wake up late their hair is done in some brand new style too?? it.. is weird bc when did he take the time to learn how to braid?? you don’t even know how to braid. it’s sweet tho and pulls you to solidify your feelings of staring a family. don’t tell him tho because he will make it happen right where you stand.

he love love loves picnics. idk tbh i feel like it’s natural that the jaegers like picnics. anyway, when it’s not spring showers all week he’ll wake up early to make a basket. he would love going in the morning but after awhile you can’t handle being a morning person, so you settle for “brunch time”. if you’re out of groceries will opt in for heading to the farmers market ,cooking together at home and moving your picnic to your backyard. yes it was your first date if it isn’t obvious already.

actually maybe it’s just me but i think that zeke fully believes he’s like a comedic genius. he can’t go a second without making some corny ass joke. convinced he actively tries to get you with deez nutz jokes. like this man is literally a man child.“you know i don’t care for corn…actually i really like that band” “jesus zeke…” the room would probably be silent if he wasn’t already laughing hysterically at himself.

oh my god his morning voice. his voice in general actually like that rasp he has (from all those damn cigarettes probably) is just knee buckling. you hate when he talks too close in your ear. gives you a full body reaction just from him saying good morning. it just..sometimes he just sounds really sexy and you can barely focus.“so like fast forward a day later i told- are you even listening?”“hmm? yeah i’m listening hun” you weren’t, not at all. there isn’t a single part of this conversation you can remember the only thing in your mind is the filth that was falling out of his mouth last night. voice deeper, primal even while he fucks you. “yeah,that’s right keep begging for me just like that”“that deep enough for you hmm? greedy thing”“more huh? don’t start complaining when it’s too much”“you crying? shame, you asked for it so take it”“perfect pussy and it’s all fucking mine” “all mine to cum in too yeah?” “fuck- you like that don’t you? being full of me, s’filthy i love it”

hneycxmb™ circa:4.22 no reposts/ translations without credit reblogs appreciated :’)

[ellieonomy]

BYE CAN WE THIRST OVER BIKER TOJI OMG

YES YES WE CANDJASHBD

no but actually tho, i don’t know shit about bikes (got burned by one when i was little, traumatizing) but that just makes it better not the burning part obviously. LIKE what i would give to be his personal bimbo cheerleader. better yet his favorite flag girl that he strives to impress every race.fuck a winning trophy all he needs is some pretty pussy on his dick to rev him up (lol motor vehicle puns ). shoving his gloved fingers into your mouth when he fucks you hard enough to make his trailer shake. god or even better teaching how to sit properly on his prized possession, where to put your feet explaining in detail what every gear or whatever the fuck else is on there does. i don’t care no one cares or can even focus,because even while he’s explaining his hands are shoved under your mini skirt thick fingers rubbing between your ridiculously… soaked lips,making a mess all over the saddle and shining up the leather. might even make make you grind yourself against it even with people walking in and out of the garage oh LORD OH LORDIAJJSND i went too far.

[ellieonomy]

If you’re feeling like it can we maybe get something with Zeke and his s/o who likes teasing him?

cw. suggestive themes below the cut

an. i have a bit soft spot for zeke actually mdnajkajs

an.2 not proofread or extensively ig i’m lazy .this could be better definitely, i’m losing my spark tho. so don’t be surprised if i come back to re write HELP

⊹ ੈ♡ — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ₊˚ ‧₊ ๑ ˎˊ˗

oh my god… zeke ZKEKEJE sorry i’m shaking just thinking about him

zeke honestly.. loves a partner with a bit cockiness. loves the back and forth you have together. though with enough it from you he’s putty in your hands.and he fucking can’t get enough of it when you do that shit in public. it’s no doubt that zeke is, very handsome let’s be real we wouldn’t be here talking about it if he wasn’t. And as anyone who knows it you cant help but find ways to let him know how just.. looking at him makes you feel. Whistling ridiculously loud when you watch him get dressed for a gala. your manicured nails scratch across his shoulders to “smooth out the wrinkles”. Or tugging his tie pulling him close enough kiss him because “it looked lose” leaving him practically stumbling when you walk way. oh.. and once you’re out you show him off like a trophy. grabbing his jaw tight just to whisper in his ear in away that makes him pant, just to say something so trivial, that you’re getting a drink.jokes about his facial hair are surprisingly common. he does look like blonde santa clause ngl it’s sexy tho. but you take that as a opportunity to get him riled up. his arms are wrapped around your waist pulling you flush against him, clinging to you like a bear cub and nuzzling into you when you start scratching at the freshly trimmed hair.”mm i like my seat decorated” a comment that makes him whimper embarrassingly, dick hard against your backside.he wishes your seat wasn’t so empty now. poor baby is at his limit. good thing you both like leaving parties early hmm?