#honestly you are a really nice person and i haven't even done too much and i feel like i'm walking on water here!!

[curiosityschild]

Anyone else feeling absolutely unhinged this fine Sunday evening? Or is it just me

[splonk-fox]

The flaws of Jax and Ragatha, and why they matter to Pomni's character arc.

Within the two episodes of The Amazing Digital Circus that have been released so far as of writing this post, there have been two characters who have been given the most attention and depth out of any of the cast (ignoring Pomni obviously), and those two characters are Ragatha and Jax.

The duo consisting of the kindhearted optimist and the meanspirited pessimist have without a doubt become some of the most interesting characters to analyze within this series so far thanks to how much meaningful screentime and character depth they have been given within the the two episodes that we viewers have been fortunate enough to witness with our very eyes.

But why is this? Why is it that these two have received special attention from the writers so far, and what role do they play in Pomni's character journey? Well I believe I may have found the answer, and it's unfortunately one that does not spell a good future for these characters. But to truly understand where I am coming from, we must first understand who these two characters are and how they relate to our main protagonist.

To start off with the kindest of the duo, we have already learned quite a lot about Ragatha thanks to the two episodes she has been featured in so far.

Her most prominent character trait is without a doubt her kindness. She is the first person to really be genuinely nice to Pomni upon her entrance to the circus and spends the rest of the episode showing her around the place and trying her best to help her get settled in.

She's also someone who doesn't like to be overly blunt with her responses, such is shown when Pomni asks how they leave the circus, to which Ragatha, instead of just saying that she couldn't, phrases it in a way that makes it sound as if they simply haven't found a way to leave yet, this was obviously done in an attempt to not freak Pomni out too much, though this doesn't really go anywhere thanks to Jax.

Now that's great and all, Ragatha's a nice person, you can easily observe that through casual watches of the show, looking deeper however, you can see that there is a lot more going on with Ragatha than she would like to make you believe.

Insecurity is another trait that Ragatha has that, while not shown off as prominently as her optimism, is still very important to Ragatha's character.

As we see in episode 2 of the series, one of Ragatha's biggest fears is not being liked. She vents to Kinger about how she feels like Pomni doesn't really like her that much, and that clearly scares her. And why wouldn't it? The end of episode 2 makes it clear that one of the most important things in this show when it comes to keeping the main cast mentally stable, is their sense of community.

They're all in this together, they have each other's backs and will do their best to be there for each other when it's needed. That is what is communicated to us within the second episode through Kaufmo's funeral.

This segment of the episode, while somber in its tone, is also one that instills hope within Pomni and the viewer. Because it shows that despite everything, the circus members do care about each other. That abstraction is something that affects everyone and it isn't something that is just brushed off immediately, which if you recall, was the crux of Pomni's fears as seen at the beginning of the second episode, the fear of being forgotten, the fear of no one caring.

"I don't even remember her name honestly" - Dream Jax.

So with how the importance of community has been firmly established within this show's messaging at this point, it should be no surprise that Ragatha's biggest fear is not having that community. Of people not liking you, of people hating you. So how does Ragatha solve this?

Repression, that's how. Of all of Ragatha's personality traits her tendency to not display her true feelings towards things are without a doubt the most damaging.

The best example of this is how she reacts to Pomni abandoning her for the exit. The pilot would lead you to believe that she was mad at Pomni for doing this, that she didn't trust her anymore because of this selfish act.

And yet, that's all brushed to the side in the following episode. Ragatha is back to her optimistic self and is saying that everything is fine! That it was completely understandable and that there was no bad blood between them. Yet you can tell that isn't the whole truth, that Ragatha really didn't get over what Pomni had done to her that easily.

Now do I think Ragatha hates Pomni or secretly resents her? No, not really. I do think she's being honest when she says that she doesn't hold anything against her for doing this. But that doesn't mean she wasn't hurt by it. We can see clear as day from the pilot that this did affect her, so why does she act like she doesn't?

Because, from her perspective, her feelings do not matter. The only thing that does is to make sure Pomni is able to adjust, to make sure that everyone is happy, that everyone is still somewhat sane within the circus, and so she compromises her emotions in order to do this. Gooseworx has even said it herself that Ragatha often says things she doesn't necessarily mean in order to ease tensions. She doesn't want to cause conflict, she doesn't want people to fight with each other because she understands how important community is to the members of the circus persisting.

Yet in the midst of all of this, what Ragatha fails to realize is that with how she currently handles things, she is paving the way for her own mental break.

Ragatha, in her attempts to be there for others, has walled herself off from others being there for her. By lying about how she really feels about things, by acting as if she is fine, she is not allowing herself the emotional vulnerability necessary for others to be there for her when she needs it.

The closest thing we have had to this so far is with Kinger, and while having someone she feels comfortable enough to lament her feelings around is a good thing, this is one person, one person who is... not exactly mentally stable, to put it lightly. Is not exactly an end all be all solution to her problems.

Kinger being the only person who Ragatha can rely on is only gonna work for a limited amount of time, the more she represses, the more she hides her true emotions and clear mental instability, the closer she is to meeting a cruel fate, one that no one would be able to save her from because no one even realized there was something wrong with her. For in her pursuit to make everyone else happy, she has sacrificed her own happiness, as a result.

And then there's Jax.

Jax, in a lot of ways, is pretty much the polar opposite of Ragatha. While her leading trait is kindness, Jax's leading trait is being a complete and utter asshole. And while Ragatha is all about answering things in a roundabout way to ease stress, Jax is all about the blunt answers.

This is best shown to us in the pilot when, in the same scene where Ragatha tries to answer Pomni's question of "how do I leave?" in a way that wouldn't stress her out too heavily, Jax goes straight in with the "you can't". Jax is a pessimist, he has accepted that there is no way out, and is simply riding things as they go by.

Jax's leading character trait is all about causing as much chaos as he can for the sake of his own satisfaction. He doesn't care about how others feel, the only thing he cares about is causing as much chaos as possible simply because he can.

Yet that isn't all that's going on with Jax, there's something deeper here, something more complex.

When it comes to the scenes everyone points to when saying that Jax has a lot more going on with him than meets the eye, the scene where he reacts to Kaufmo's funeral is the one everyone looks at with an analytical lens, and that's for a good reason.

For I think this little scene might just tell us a lot more about Jax than we think.

One thing that I've come to notice about Jax's brand of chaos is that it's very reliant on others' reactions. All of the chaos he causes, all of the absurd and awful things he does are for the sake of seeing how others react. From throwing Pomni over the side of a truck and attempting to use her as a human bridge, or literally everything that he does to Gangle, it's all reaction-based, and that made me realize that, despite how selfish and uncaring he acts towards everyone else, community is still the one thing that truly matters most.

He needs the others so that they can react to his hijinx, as they are what give said actions meaning. If he had no crowd to watch as he acts like a shitty person, then he has no reason to do anything. But that is also where Jax's true character flaw comes in, his selfishness.

With how Jax is constantly pushing others around for the sake of his own amusement, Jax is very clearly a self-centered person. He is someone who is in it for himself and no one else. Who cares if others don't like him? Who cares if others despise him? As long as he gets to see funny things happen to people, he is gonna be okay.

But what happens when that method is no longer effective? What happens when the others don't give him the reaction he wants? What happens when he can no longer use chaos as a way to distract from the pointlessness of his reality?

Well, as scary as this may be to think about, Jax won't really have much of anything to fall back on. His cruel actions have wrote him into a corner. No one likes him, that much is obvious. And while Jax seems content with this now? What happens when he is put in the position of needing someone else's help?

Well, then he'll have no one, and it's ironically for the exact opposite reason to Ragatha. Ragatha's problem is that she is constantly repressing her emotions, despite the fact that she has people who care about her, she doesn't open up to them because in her eyes, her feelings are secondary to others'.

Yet Jax is the opposite, he's honest, he is self-centered, and that's also why he is one of the members who are in this most danger.

In a show that seems to be about how important community is and how important it is to stay together and be there for each other? To have a character who is the complete opposite of that. To have someone who doesn't care about others, who won't be there when someone else is hurting. To have someone who is actively making things harder for everyone... that just spells out demise.

Jax's true weakness is that he does not have a community who will be there for him when he needs it, he was never there for others so why should they be there for him? Meaning that when Jax is at the end of his rope, crying out for help, no one will listen, because as cruel as it sounds, most of the members would probably be happy that he's gone.

While this does admittedly rely a bit on speculation, I think what I've stated above might be the true reason for why Jax looked sad for a moment when the other characters were talking about the funerals held for those who have abstracted. Because in that small moment, he realizes he might not get a funeral of his own when he "dies", or if he did, no one would really have anything nice to say about him.

And that fear, that knowing of how the way you've built yourself up by putting others down has lead to everyone hating you, to everyone not having a single good thing to say about you... that is terrifying. And yet he hides it, he walks away, he refuses to attend the funeral because then he will have to be confronted with the uncomfortable reality of the fact that he won't die as someone who was remembered for doing good things.

The only thing he'll be remembered for, is how much everyone hated him. And all of that brings us right back, to Pomni.

I said at the beginning of this post, as well as with the title itself, that Ragatha and Jax matter to Pomni's character arc, but why is this? Sure they're both main characters so obviously they're going to influence her journey going forward, but how exactly does any of this matter to Pomni? It's simple really.

Ragatha and Jax represent two extremes, they represent what happens when you lean too far in one direction. In one case, it is caring too much about others and not caring about yourself, and in the other, it's caring too much about yoursef and not caring about others.

Pomni has already shown traits of both Jax and Ragatha. She has shown an empathetic, kindhearted side as seen in her interactions with Gummigoo, and she has shown a selfish side, as seen when she abandoned Ragatha for the "exit" in the pilot.

Pomni has shown herself to be both selfish and selfless. But what part of her matters more? Simple answer, both. It is important to care about others while also taking time to take care of yourself. Ragatha and Jax show what happens when you forget to do one of these things.

By always taking care of others, you're forgetting to take care of yourself, and by always taking care of yourself, you fail to take care of others. To find a healthy balance is to do both. To be aware of your own mental health while also making sure that others are doing okay too. And this is something that Pomni will need to realize if she is going to make it in the circus.

And this is where Jax and Ragatha become important. I believe these two will show Pomni how important it is to keep a balance of things. To not lean too far in one direction, as if you do, it spells bad news for you either way. And how will this be communicated to her and the audience?

Abstraction.

Think about it. If Ragatha and Jax's harmful practices continue without change and they end up abstracing because of it, that will be a wakeup call to Pomni, it will show her the flaws of being too selfless, and too selfish. Is it an extreme way to communicate such message? Sure, but it's also one that can't be ignored.

We, the audience, and Pomni, would see first hand the consequences of leaning too far in either direction, that if you don't find a balance, you will end up like Jax and Ragatha did.

And that's why I think these two in particular have been given so much screentime and attention these past two episodes. Because they are meant to show us the most extreme versions of Pomni's most prominent character traits.

The ability to care about yourself, and the ability to care about others.

Of course, I might be wrong in this assessment. We are far too early in the show's runtime to truly predict any big events like this. But from a narrative standpoint, I believe this interpretation makes the most sense in the way of showing us the audience, and Pomni, what truly matters. It's not just about you, it's not just about others, it's about both.

Thank you for reading.

[deezneezz]

Leona & ADD

I got a few ppl (on twitter) wanting me to elaborate on Leona and ADD, so I figured I will share my thoughts here as well, please be nice it's just a personal hc. You don't have to agree at all!! Since it contains some personal experiences I ask of people to please be kind about it!

Anyway, Leona and ADD.

I think a lot of people usually agree on Floyd and Kalim having ADHD, but Leona actually shows a lot of lesser talked about traits of ADHD. Namely Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), sensitivity to clothing/textures (he doesn't like restrictive clothes).

He also has the more commonly talked about traits of course, executive dysfunction being a big one. And his depression definitely exacerbates these traits, when i was undiagnosed and depressed i used to sleep my entire days away. I wasn't getting anything done anyway.

Not to mention not sleeping properly, so I was desperate to find moments to sleep during the day. I've slept on floors, on toilets, in an abandoned corner in uni instead of going to class. I was just *so* tired all the time I didn't want to sit in class, I wanted to sleep.

I was lucky I passed classes without studying, cause i would've never gotten through uni otherwise. I still took longer than necessary. The moment my support system (Ruggie, anyone?) graduated and left I had no one taking care of my basic needs, and I certainly didn't.

I had a dorm mate who cooked for me, made sure I had even an ounce of self-care, and also looked at my room and said "hmm, Deniz, maybe it's time to clean up a little" and then I very reluctantly admitted that it may have gotten a little out of hand.

She would just sit in my room sometimes chilling around while I cleaned cuz that was one of the few ways I cleaned at all (this is a real thing for ADHD, called body doubling. It works). Ruggie arriving at NRC and Leona suddenly performing tons better in school is no coincidence.

Coming back to RSD.. I mean I don't really have to explain it do I.. book 2, Lilia's scathing remarks, the shame of disappointing his dorm, etc. I know a lot of ppl call book 2 an 'overreaction' but like, this is genuinely what it feels like internally when RSD triggers

book 6 too, Jamil's over-protectiveness is clearly (to the audience) smth that's mostly Jamil's own habits and trauma doing. But to Leona it's a rejection/insult to his ability to take care of himself, his skill, etc. This was genuinely smth that set me off too.

"How dare you try to explain to me smth I already know, do you think I'm stupid?" "You're not like me." The unwillingness to admit that someone may be relatable in any way because making any comparison to yourself makes you vulnerable to what you haven't achieved for yourself.

"I would ace these classes too if I wasted my time and life studying as much as they did, but I actually love myself." <- guy who was jealous and did not know he was coping and didn't study cause of executive dysfunction and concentration issues.

Leona clearly knows a lot about the things he genuinely cares about, Ancient spell language, chess, magishift, so its kind of funny to see him so low effort in classes. Though honestly i know the game also says that "Leona already knows all this stuff" so.. who knows really...

Now I'm more chill but I used to legitimately go off the handle a little cuz RSD doesn't really care about whether the shit u feel is proportional to the offence it physically hurts in your chest and you just wanna burn down the world at that exact time and... IS THAT NOT LEONA...

TLDR: give Leona therapy and meds, lol.

[hayakawalove]

I'd Wait For You

Summary: Everything is perfect between you and Suguru. It could not get any better. The universe has a funny way of doing things though. How do you cope once Suguru gets taken away from you? Will Suguru be able to move onto the afterlife, or will he stay by your side? A/N: I wanted to try my hand at writing angst. Haven't done it too much. Please ignore the inaccuracies of the medicine, it won't be perfect. Comments always appreciated!

CW: SFW, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Death (not reader), Grief/Mourning, Afterlife, Depression, Medical, Car Accidents, Sad, Fucked up but honestly not too bad

W/C: 6,584

Suguru hadn’t known love until he first met you. 

Everything that led up to you was somehow minuscule compared to the emotions that coursed through his veins whenever he saw you. He wasn’t aware of how fast a heart could beat, how his lungs could falter from merely being in the presence of another person. He wasn’t even quite sure what he’d done to achieve someone like you. We were made for each other, you always told him. In his opinion, he believed he was made for you. Crafted and designed to love you. Not because you needed to have someone like him, but because he needed someone like you. Someone to care for and love.

It was your birthday, and just like he had done every year before this, Suguru was planning on making your dinner. He liked doing it, it made him feel like he was doing something right. It was the least he could do for you, after everything you’ve done for him. He thinks you don’t even know the half of it. 

“Shit.” Suguru murmurs under his breath as he searches the freezer. He could have sworn he bought the meat for tonight, but it was nowhere to be found. 

“Did you find it yet?” He hears your voice call from the couch. 

He doesn’t really have the heart to tell you that no, he hadn’t found it. His lip twitches as he pushes aside all the useless ingredients, looking in places he had already checked three times over. 

Suguru is so focused on the fridge in front of him that he doesn’t even hear your feet padding into the kitchen. 

Tender hands wrap around him from behind, yanking him from his despair. When he looks over his shoulder he sees you behind him, peeking over with curious eyes. 

“I'm sorry baby.” He speaks quietly, turning around to the fridge again. 

He shuts the freezer and faces you, taking you into his arms. It’s nice like this, having you pushed up against him. It makes him feel like he’s protecting you. 

“What’re you sorry for?” You ask. 

You reach your hands up and place a palm on either side of his face. Your mouth drops open as you hold him. 

“Suguru, you’re freezing.” You scold. “How long were you looking in there?” 

He hadn’t realized how cold he was until your warm fingers pressed into his cheek. He nuzzles against you and allows his lids to flutter closed, indulging in the warmth you provide. 

“Only a little bit.” He says. He would rather die than tell you he’s been here for ten minutes. 

“No luck though, huh?” You don’t seem sad when you ask this, and Suguru can’t figure out why. 

He feels like he ruined your birthday. 

“Unfortunately no, but I’m gonna go head down to the store to pick it up. I shouldn’t be gone long.” 

“I don’t want you to go, though!” 

You have an exaggerated frown playing on your lips as you tug his arm. 

“Baby, you need food. I promise it’ll be-“ 

“Why don’t we go out to eat?” You propose. 

He’s looking at you with raised brows, watching partly in amusement. It wasn’t an awful idea, but he much rather preferred to cook for you himself. It was like a gift that way, although he bought you plenty of those too. He nearly felt giddy at the idea of how you would react to each present, all hiding in various places around the house. You always told him he didn't have to get you anything, so he had to get creative in his hiding spots.

“What, you hate my cooking?” He jokes, pulling back to straighten your clothes. 

At first you would snap at him when he mindlessly groomed you like this, but you had gotten used to it. It was just another avenue for him to show his love, fixing your attire like a mother would.

“Ugh, it’s the worst!” You joke back. 

Both of you were well aware of how much you loved his cooking. 

“A shame.” He murmurs. 

“We never go out, it’s been ages since we’ve gone somewhere nice. Don’t you think it would be fun? That way, you wouldn’t have to slave over the stove for me.” 

“But what if I want to slave over the stove for you?” 

“There will always be another time.” You squeeze his arm. 

You’re right. He can always do it for you for your next birthday. 

“If you say so.” Suguru presses his lips against yours. 

~~~

It’s a chilly night, the black sky above you providing no heat as you head out of the restaurant. You’re cradling your stomach as if you were 8 months pregnant, while one of your arms is wrapped around his. You’re chattering his ears off, but Suguru doesn’t mind. The night felt perfect, he wasn’t sure how it could get any better. 

The two of you are making your way to your parked car, not in a rush. You have all the time in the world. You’re strumming his hand as you talk, only letting go when he pulls your door open for you.

Suguru crosses the car and slides into the driver's seat, not backing out until your seat belt is on. The drive is calming, your windows rolled down to let in the night air as you quietly sing along to the radio.

“Was it a good birthday?” Suguru asks, tossing a look your way before focusing on the road. 

“It was perfect.” You promise, your eyes twinkling.

Suguru starts to think about which gift he wants you to open first.

“Hey Suguru?” You ask.

“Yeah?” Suguru looks up from the wheel to see your face. 

Your brows are furrowed together as you look forward. Something wasn’t right.

“What is that guy doing?” You speak quietly.

Suguru turns his head forward, his foot on the brake as the car sits at a red light. There’s another car in front of you, driving towards you. He isn’t slowing down for the light, and Suguru can feel his pulse pick up. 

“I don’t-“ Suguru starts. 

The driver presses on the gas even harder, his car jerking, now hurdling in your direction. Suguru only has half a second to throw his arm across your front, shoulder covering part of your body.

…

Love makes you do crazy things. 

Love can make you feel unstoppable. 

Love can make you cover your partner in a car accident without a second thought. 

The movies never get it right, Suguru thinks. People always talk about the pain, how much it hurts. But Suguru doesn’t feel pain. He doesn’t feel anything. He wishes it was more accurate, that way he could have been prepared. 

It was loud, so loud. 

Metal on metal, tires screeching. It also smelled. Gas, fire, and burning something. Was it plastic? He had never smelled something so atrocious. Suguru turns his head to locate you and sees you motionless, your beautiful lids fluttered shut. Is that blood? Something’s reflecting on your forehead and he hopes to god it’s not blood. 

He attempts to say your name, but nothing comes out. It’s as if his voice box has been completely removed, leaving a gaping hole in his throat. His fingers twitch as he tries to move to help you. 

Move, move. 

He’s begging his useless body to do something, anything. It’s never cooperated with him, lest of all when he needs it most. 

Suguru thinks he hears yelling. Was that a woman? It’s a voice he’s never heard before, and she’s saying something he can’t quite decipher. His head is spinning as he tries to focus on the voice, but it isn't easy. It's all becoming overwhelming, each of his senses being amplified. The sight and sound alone was enough to leave him breathless.

Red lights. 

Cops. 

No, not cops. 

An ambulance. 

He hopes it’s an ambulance. You really needed one.

Suguru tries to focus as he strains his ears to listen for your breathing. He could feel his eyelids get heavier and heavier, his sheer willpower being the only thing keeping him awake. There’s more tires screeching and the ambulance has arrived, heavy footfalls running to your car. 

Good.

Good.

Help is here.

It would all be alright. 

Everything would be fine.

~~~

When his eyes open, he sees white. He must have been in a hospital, the clinical setting surrounding him. No one was in his room. Not even you. You were in worse shape from what he remembers, so he understands. 

He isn’t in as much pain as he would’ve expected from being in a car accident, but he’s glad. Suguru looks down and wiggles his fingers, then his toes. Good. He isn’t missing anything. He knows you would’ve taken care of him if he was missing something, but he would rather soon die than make you do something like that. 

Suguru sits up and notices he isn’t attached to any monitors, which is odd. He figures he probably didn’t need them though, so he quickly pushes the thought aside. He might as well look for you since he was able. You could have been really hurt, and he wouldn’t have been able to rest until he learned where you were. 

The hospitals halls are a scary place, even for Suguru. He knows many great things happen in hospitals, but there’s also a lot of tragedy too. He tries not to think about all the death as he walks down the halls. There are nurses and doctors pushing past him, paying him no mind. They were busy. He could see it in their droopy eyes as they locate room numbers and run to codings. 

He finds the nurses station and speaks up, finding two women sitting at the desks. 

“Excuse me?” He says. 

Nothing. 

Weird. 

“Uh, I’m looking for someone.” 

Suguru says your name, but neither of them turn to him. 

Okay, maybe they were too engrossed in their conversation. 

His eyes flick down where he sees a chart, and at the very top of the list was your name. Room A93. That wasn’t too far from here. 

He spares them one last glance before turning around to locate your room. His heart flutters (not in the good way) when he gets closer to the door. Could he handle seeing you hooked up to a million monitors? Could he handle seeing other people take care of you? Suguru pushes through it. He needs to see you. He comes to a stop outside your room and hears voices coming from inside, talking to you. 

“And where is Suguru?” He picks up on your voice, the sound instantly warming his heart. 

“He’s… not in good shape.” 

He wasn’t? 

He felt great. 

Suguru pokes his head around the door and finds a tall woman with tanned skin and long dark hair. She must be the doctor. 

“What do you mean?” You ask.

The doctor straightens, tired eyes looking up at you. 

“He was intubated, he lost a lot of blood and sustained a head injury. My team had to put him in a medically induced coma. I actually was coming here to talk to you about whether or not he wanted to be on life support.” 

What? 

“I'm sorry, what are you talking about?” Your body is turned towards her, anticipation leaking from your pores.

“You’re married, aren’t you? I trust that the two of you have gone over it?” 

You haven't looked his way, not even once. 

“Let me see him.” You’re sitting up, wobbling as your frail body attempts to hold you up. 

You don’t see him right now? 

“I'm not sure that’s a good idea.” The doctor comments, her voice heavy as if she knows something you don’t. 

“Please.” 

The doctor softly sighs and dips her head once, acknowledging your desperation. She relents, aiding you in getting up. You can’t do it on the first try, your face wincing in pain as you ease yourself off the bed. The doctor is patient as she helps you, because of course she is.

Suguru follows you to his room, throat dry as he stares at the IV stand in your hands. What was happening? 

“Suguru?” His heart shatters at the way your voice cracks. 

He turns the door and comes to a halt behind you, looking over your shoulder. He was looking at himself. His motionless body was laying in the hospital bed, looking more helpless than he had ever felt in his whole life. 

“What happened?” You ask, your eyes never leaving his bed.

“There was an accident. I was told that he took the brunt of the crash to cover you. He’s not…” The doctor looks anxiously between you and him. “I don’t think he’s going to make it.” 

The room is quiet, eerily so as you process the news the doctor gave you. There’s a steady beeping sound coming from behind his body, the only sign of life. By all accounts, he looked dead. Suguru flicks his eyes up and notices a brain monitor attached to him, but the line was flat. How was that possible? Was he in some space between life and death right now? 

You rip the IV from your arm and run up to the bed, collapsing beside his body. Suguru can see blood begin to pool from your forearm, dark red trickling down your wrist as you force yourself against his bed.

“Suguru! Wake up!” You’re shaking his body, voice trembling and loud as tears begin to fall from your eyes. 

He doesn’t wake up. His useless body doesn’t even flinch.

“You asshole! Wake up!” You’re in hysterics as you shake him, and Suguru feels himself choke on a tear. 

“We need to discuss-“ The doctor starts.

“Don’t do this to me! You gotta wake up!” 

Suguru is beside you now, standing above your crumbled form. You’ve never looked so small before. Your tears are staining the sheets beside his body as you hold his hand, your other arm clawing at his chest. Suguru can’t tell which hurts more, watching himself or looking at you. 

He needs to comfort you. 

He needs to make you smile. 

But he can’t. He can’t do anything. Suguru is forced to stand by your side as you cry until you lose your voice, until all of your words blur together and no one can understand what you’re saying. 

The doctor stays with you the entire time, remaining quiet as you sob. She wanted to comfort you, but she also needed an answer. And the truth of the matter was, Suguru never wanted to be on life support. It was a discussion you had early on in your marriage. He didn't want to be a burden. You respected his decision at the time, never in a million years thinking you would have to uphold his choice.

~~~

It’s raining the day they pull the plug on Suguru. He always did like the rain. It made for perfect nights in with a warm drink and his favorite book. Obviously with you by his side. That’s not what he’s thinking about when he sees the sky the day he dies. All he can think about is how your tears match the droplets, how god must be crying for you. He hated it. You said it was fitting. It was one of the only things you said on that day.

Suguru watches as his body gets whisked away, he told himself he couldn’t watch the embalming process, but when it happens he can’t look away. It felt unreal. His body was cold to the touch, pale as it lay on the metal table. He didn't look real. He watches with curious eyes as they pump him full of fluids in an attempt to immortalize his youth and beauty. He overhears the morticians talking. Not even thirty years old, they mumble. All Suguru can think about is how you weren’t even thirty. The word ‘widow’ was meant for older people whose partners died in natural circumstances, not for someone like yourself. Plump cheeks and a full life ahead of you.

It’s sunny when his funeral is held. He’s glad for that, he dreaded the idea of you waiting out in the cold. You sit in the front with Satoru. Suguru expected you to be a wreck, you were at the hospital after all. But you aren’t. You sit quietly as each person speaks, your chin tucked into your chest. Your eyes are glassy as you listen. You were checked out. He wanted to take a peek into your brain to see what memory you were reliving. Was it the time you both vacationed in the Bahamas? Or was it when you talked for hours about your favorite book? Those were his favorite memories, but he didn't know yours. He never thought to ask before. Now he wouldn’t have the chance to.

You refuse to let anyone help you make it home, I’m fine you said. You weren’t fine. Anyone with a pair of eyes could see that. All the people surrounding you tried to offer words of comfort, promises to help falling from their lips. You wave them off as you set off down the sidewalk towards your apartment. You hadn’t been in a car since the incident.

The second you close your front door you collapse onto your floor, your knees hitting the ground with a hard thud. You let out the most ear piercing wail. Suguru didn’t know people were capable of making noises like that. He didn’t have a body anymore, but he swore he felt chills creep over his skin. 

You keep screaming, and screaming, and screaming. Suguru hears a loud pounding and turns his head to the door. Someone was here. The pounding resumes and he hears his best friend call out, trying to get your attention. You aren’t listening. You don’t care about anything outside these four walls. 

Satoru twists the knob hoping by some miracle it would unlock. Unfortunately, you had the foresight to lock the door before falling to pieces. Satoru relents in using the knob and tries bumping the door with his shoulder. It takes him a couple of tries before it splinters open. He's out of breath as he looks down at your figure. Your crumpled figure. 

Leave it to Satoru to follow you to ensure you got home safely. Suguru tells himself to repay Satoru, buy him that soda he likes, but then he remembers. He will never be able to repay him for anything again. 

He hopes a token of his gratitude is enough. 

You don’t register that Satoru is even there until he’s kneeling beside you, holding your body close to his. You thrash a bit, shoving him back but he doesn’t budge. Satoru takes it all, even though it hurts. 

“Hey, hey, I’m here.” He murmurs quietly to you. 

“He's gone! He's gone!” You’re heaving into the air, letting him rock you back and forth. 

“I know. I know.” 

“He's never coming back, Satoru!” 

You breathe in deeply, your chest sore from the meltdown. 

“Bring him back! Please, please Satoru!” 

Satoru grits his jaw as he holds you tight. It must be hard. Suguru mourns the loss of himself through you. He can feel the pain you’re in, it feels like a forest fire as it claws into him. 

You’re scratching at Satoru, as if you could dig your way back to Suguru.

Suguru has never felt so helpless before. How do you help someone when they’re mourning the loss of the love of their life? How do you console them when they will never see them again? How could he make you feel better? 

He can’t do anything. He's an outsider in his own home, watching the people who were closest to him.

Satoru grips you as you sob, occasionally rocking your frame back and forth. He doesn’t say anything. There really isn't anything to say. The living room quiets down as your screaming becomes sniffling. Suguru doesn’t know how much time has passed. Satoru refuses to let go until he feels your breathing slow down, your body going limp in his hold. 

Satoru never leaves. He just sets you on your bed before making his way to the couch. He looks just as fucked up as you do. Suguru doesn’t think he’s ever seen his friend in such a bad state before. Eyes that had previously been so bright were now dull, his lips tugged down into a deep frown. Satoru slides onto the couch, his eyes shutting the second he makes contact. 

Suguru takes turns watching the two of you sleep. It breaks his heart. Never again will he feel the warmth of your sleeping figure beside him. Never again will he wake up before you to start your breakfast. 

Things are awkward between you and Satoru in the morning. Neither of you know how to approach the subject. 

Satoru is the first to talk. He always was the talker. 

“Good morning.” 

Your eyes flick to him, almost as if you were expecting him to stay the night. Satoru looks uncomfortable, which is a first. 

“I uh, I'm gonna pick up breakfast. Do you want anything?” He goes on.

A moment passes before you speak. When your voice comes out it's brittle, harsh in a way Suguru has never heard before. 

“I'm fine.” 

The hours of screaming must have caught up to you. 

“Yeah, alright.”

Satoru is scratching the back of his neck, a tell that Suguru learned years ago. He has something to say, but doesn’t know how to say it. 

“I really think you should eat something.”

“Satoru.” 

Satoru steps back as if the tone of your voice wounded him. 

“Okay. I’ll back off. I’ll bring back something for you to drink at least.” 

Satoru doesn’t ask so you don’t have the chance to deny him. You watch as he exits your apartment, your gaze fixed on your broken door.

Satoru calls repairmen to handle the door while he’s out. It doesn’t take them long at all to fix the damage he dulled out the prior night. 

When Satoru comes back he has two drinks and two bags in his hands. He bought something for you to eat in the end. Satoru rings the doorbell and waits for you. 

You never come. 

He knows you’re home, because where else would you be? 

He stands there for thirty minutes before he takes the hint that you don’t want to be seen. 

Suguru wishes he could curl up in on himself at the sight of his best friend looking so dejected as he leaves. Satoru was making an effort. Suguru doesn’t blame you though. He never could. If he was in your position, Suguru wouldn’t stop until the whole world around him was burned to the ground, he wouldn’t stop until there was nothing left.

Satoru comes back hours later to drop off dinner and notices that the bag of breakfast he left for you is still in the same place. You hadn’t touched it. He leaves dinner for you as well, hoping by some chance that you’ll actually eat something.

~~~

Satoru stands at your door, a bag in his hands as he tries to keep up a smile. Suguru can tell it’s a hard task, he’s always been able to look right through his best friend. 

It had been two weeks since the funeral, and Satoru has stopped by every single day.

Satoru says your name again, rocking back on his heels. He’s been here for two hours. Suguru knows because he’s seen him check his phone five times. One of your neighbors comes out and greets Satoru, smiling once he gives her attention. The two had been acquainted because he had visited so often. Satoru didn’t mean to seduce the older woman, but it just came with the territory of being a beautiful man. 

“Hey Ms. Nakamoto!”

“Hello sweetie.” 

“I brought you something.” Satoru searches the bag he’s holding and produces a wrapped piece of chocolate. 

Suguru knows Satoru didn’t bring it for her, but that he couldn't bear the thought of not giving her something.

“You’re so kind, Satoru.” Ms. Nakamoto squeezes Satoru’s shoulder before walking off, popping the chocolate in her mouth. 

Satoru watches her leave with a smile plastered on his face. It feels genuine in the same way a waitress's smile is genuine when she’s working.

“Are you gonna let me in?” Satoru calls, resting his shoulder against the door.

You’re standing on the other side of the door, staring into the wood as if you’d be able to see Satoru if you look hard enough. 

Suguru doesn’t understand why would don’t want to see Satoru. 

He wonders if it’s because Satoru reminds you of him. Suguru would understand, the two have always been inseparable. It was never that way for you, though. You never saw Satoru and thought of Suguru in the past. It was one of the many things he liked about you. He felt like he could be his own person around you. He wonders if the lines are blurred now that he was gone.

“I know you’re there.” Satoru says, leaning against his forearm. 

“Why won’t you let me in?” He waits for a moment until you respond. 

“I don’t want to.” 

“I brought snacks.” 

“I don’t care.” 

Suguru’s heart breaks. You look like a mess, your hair was piled on top of your head and you were wearing the same clothes you had been wearing yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. It was one of Suguru’s shirts, the clothing wrapped around your body as if it was a cocoon. You had been wearing it for so long that the smell of his cologne was starting to fade away. You cried for four hours the night you realized.

Neither of you talk or move for that matter, intent on waiting it out to see who would break first. You have something on your mind, Suguru can tell you’re holding back. 

“Why did he do it?” You ask, your voice muffled through the door. 

You know Suguru as much as Satoru does, but Suguru supposes there’s a sense of relief from the company. 

“You know why he did it. He loved you.” Satoru responds, his voice more level than Suguru had ever heard it. 

“He wouldn’t have been able to stand himself if he didn’t save you.” Satoru finishes. 

You and Satoru both turn around and slide your backs against the door till your butts hit the floor. 

You’re separated by a piece of wood, yet it feels like you’re miles away. Even though you felt so far apart, the two of you were the only ones on the planet who understood each other. 

“He’s selfish.” You say, and Suguru thinks you mean to have a bite to it, but it comes off much more heartbroken. 

“What makes him selfish?” 

“He wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if he let me die, so he’s making me live without him instead. Why didn’t he care that it would hurt me?” You question.

Satoru’s silent as he listens. He’s good at that, although he talks a lot. Suguru is glad you have someone to talk to who listens when you need it.

“I think he did care.” Satoru says, looking at his legs. “He just loved you too much to stop himself.”

“It was my fault, you know.” You start. 

“I was the one who suggested going out.”

Satoru is silent as he listens and Suguru feels like he’s been shot. You were blaming yourself? If Suguru could talk to you, he would reassure you that you had nothing to do with what happened. 

“It wasn’t your fault.” Satoru says, unsure of how else to comfort you. 

Nothing he could say would take the pain away, he was aware of that much. 

Suguru is on your side of the door, watching as your lip starts to tremble. You must be sick of being alone. You slowly stand up and reach for the door, opening it much to Satoru’s surprise. He nearly falls back before hopping to his feet, facing you.

“Do you want to come in?” You ask, knowing the answer.

~~~

Ever since the night you let Satoru in, you welcome him in. Suguru thinks it's nice, watching the two of you talk. He’s glad you’re opening up to someone. It’s not good to keep it all in, and Suguru couldn’t stand the idea of you shutting down completely. 

In the beginning, Satoru would sit on the furthest end of the couch, but over time he slowly inched closer until the two of you were sitting next to each other. It didn't matter what you talked about. It was always different. Usually it was about Suguru. 

“He waited until the sun set and it was dark out. I didn't really understand why. Anyway, he got on one knee and when I turned around he had the ring out.”

“It was because of the people I’m sure. Suguru was a private guy.” 

You’re picking at a loose thread on the couch, quietly listening to Satoru. 

“I helped him pick out the ring, you know. He was so indecisive. There were two options we narrowed it down to, he ended up asking all your friends what they thought you would like more.” 

Suguru sees your shoulders shake and he thinks for a second you’re crying, but when you lift your head up he sees a tiny grin on your face. 

“He’s ridiculous. Would’ve loved anything he got.” 

“I know. He only wanted the best, though.”

Suguru loves to listen to the two of you talk, but he loves the silence you share just as much. Satoru always used to dread silence. Suguru thinks you’re bringing him down to earth. It’s nice. Suguru didn't think it was possible. 

“It’s hard. I can't sleep.” You confess to Satoru late at night.

“Why is that?” Satoru asks, but you know he knows the answer. 

“It’s impossible without him.” 

You aren’t aware, but Suguru is there each time you lay down. Sometimes he’ll lay beside you, but he rarely does. You always get a chill when he tries, so instead he sits across the room, listening to your breathing. He’s always loved the sound, but he finds he appreciates it more so now. 

“If you ever need company, I could spend the night on the couch again.” 

“Really?” 

You’re trying not to sound eager, Suguru can tell. He grins to himself as he watches your face light up. 

“I'd just have to bring over spare clothes, but I can.” 

People on the outside may think that something was blossoming between you and Satoru, but Suguru knew better. Satoru would never cross that line. At times, Suguru almost wished he would. He wanted you to find happiness again. And truly, who better to give it than Satoru? The two were so alike that Suguru knew you would be happy. But you wouldn’t do that to Satoru. You wouldn’t want him to feel like a placeholder. Suguru doesn’t know how Satoru feels, but he knows how you feel enough to be positive that nothing was starting between you. 

Satoru sleeps on your couch that night. Suguru notices it’s the first time you’ve slept through the entire night in weeks. You don’t wake up even once, not even when Suguru slides into bed beside you. 

Suguru keeps his eyes on you the whole night, mesmerized by the features on your face. You were so beautiful. He should’ve told you more often. 

~~~

It was going okay. Suguru thought you were healing. One night you have a terrible nightmare. He watches you in horror as you thrash and scream, wishing he could reach out to touch you. 

“Help! Help!”

Satoru is in your room moments later, holding your body against his. You twitch in his hold, body shaking in fear. Your eyes flutter open and you have to hold onto Satoru for several moments before you understand where you are. 

“It was just a dream.” Satoru speaks quietly to you.

Tears are streaming down your cheeks once you understand what’s happening. You have a tight grip on Satoru’s arms, as if they could keep you from floating away. 

“I was- Suguru, he, we needed,” 

“It was just a dream.” Satoru says once more.

It wasn’t a dream, not really. It was the accident. The scenes were flashing in your brain, plaguing you with memories. Suguru wishes it was a dream. The worst was already over, only now you were left trying to pick up the pieces.

Satoru sleeps on your floor each night afterward. Always beside the bed, ready in case you have another nightmare. No matter what, he never leaves. 

Each time you had a nightmare, Satoru would reach his hand up and squeeze yours, reminding you that the worst part was over. He pretends not to see the scars your fingernails leave in his skin.

~~~

Suguru watches as you experience life. Finding your first gray hair, he was even there when you bought your first new car. They were all things he should have been experiencing with you, if only he was alive. 

If you asked Suguru the day he died if he regretted his decision to cover you in the accident, he would say no in an instant. It was the same now, all these years later. 

You never move on from him, not really at least. There were men that passed through your life, but you never marry again. 

Suguru wanted you to find love again, but you were always more stubborn than he knew what to do with.

And when the time came for you to pass, he was there too. The hospital room didn't feel the same as his did, yours was much more warm and happy. That was what it was supposed to be like when you lived a full life. All of your loved ones gathered around you, crying as they held you. You don’t cry. You’re ready. You’ve been preparing for it for a while now. You have weathered skin and a full heart. You have smile lines now, and Suguru thinks you’ve never looked more perfect. 

Suguru stands by the door, watching as everyone says their goodbyes. He feels tears begin to drip from his eyes. He knows it only means he gets to see you sooner, but he’s mourning your death just as much as he would if he was alive. He wanted you to continue living. You still had so much to experience, Suguru wanted you to have it all. 

The last member of your family leaves the room, but you have one visitor left. The doctor smiles at the visitor before pulling the door closed behind the two of you, giving you privacy. 

“Thank you, darling.” Satoru says, smiling at her. 

The door shuts and Satoru is hobbling over to you, lowering himself down next to your bed. He's in relatively good condition for someone of his age. 

“Hello.” He squeezes your hand, if Suguru looks close enough he can still see the crescent shaped marks caused by your nails on his hands. 

Scars proving your love of Suguru on another man’s body. 

“You’re here.” You speak.

“Of course I’m here.” 

The room is silent as Satoru takes in your presence. The air is heavy, partly from sadness, but also from the memories and love everyone had left you with. You had lived a long life. 

“Are you excited to see him?” Satoru asks. 

You look down and fiddle with your ring, the same ring Suguru had picked out all those years ago. 

“I am.” 

“When you see him tell him I said hi.” Satoru could say much more than that, maybe even a joke from his childhood, but more than anything he just missed his friend.

“I will, I swear.” 

“I can’t believe the two of you are going before me.” Satoru’s messing with you now, Suguru walks closer so he can catch the glint in Satoru’s eyes. 

“Don’t you worry, your time is coming.” You chuckle to yourself. 

“Is that a threat?” Satoru leans in close to you, the act intimate in a way that only appears between friends that have endured years of life together.

“Maybe. I think I’m going to haunt you for the rest of your life.” You tease.

“I hope you do.” Satoru’s tone is heavier as he speaks, a nugget of honesty leaking through. 

“Thank you for being so good to me Satoru, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you as much as you were there for me.” Regret is dripping from your words.

“I know you’re dying, but have you gone senile? You helped me as much as I helped you.” Satoru looks at you in disbelief. 

It was true. You had helped Satoru. It wasn’t in the same way he helped you, but instead you provided him multiple chances to relive his childhood. That was worth more than anything in the world to Satoru.

Satoru rubs his thumb along your hand. He sits with you through the silence. He's there with you as the doctor comes back in, voice soft as she asks you if you’re ready. You are, you have been for a long time. Satoru holds your hand, he doesn’t leave as the doctor turns off all the technology that’s assisting you in staying alive. 

Suguru would stay, but he has a date he can’t miss.

When you die, everything is empty around you. Your old body is inching by, walking aimlessly. 

“Sweetheart.” A voice like velvet fills your ears.

You whip around, jaw and eyes wide open as you come face to face with the love of your life. 

“Suguru!” You cry. 

Suguru’s smile is relaxed on his face as he walks up to you, embracing you once more. He could finally touch you. He had been dreaming of this moment for years. 

The second his skin hits yours, it's like a ripple effect. Your skin slowly rejuvenates, your body regressing until it resembles what it looked like the night he died. You were young again. 

Suguru holds you for what feels like eternity before you pull away. He tries not to frown, reminding himself that he can touch you again whenever he feels like it now. 

“I missed you!” Your lash line is holding on a thin thread, tears welling up, nearly pouring out. 

Suguru doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t think he can put into words how much he missed you. 

“Oh, and Satoru said-“

“Hi, I know. I heard him.” Suguru reaches a hand up and skims your cheek with his thumb.

He no longer feels cold.

“You heard him? You were there?”

“Of course I was. I always was.” 

Suguru chuckles to himself at the expression on your face. It's a shock, for sure. You had no reason to believe he stayed with you. Suguru could have moved on at any point in time, but he wouldn’t. Not without you by his side.

“I love you.” He says it the same way he used to say it, and you finally break down. 

Tears stream down your face as you pull him in for a kiss. 

“Come on, let’s make up for all the lost time.” Suguru murmurs in your ear, wrapping his arm around yours.

Tag List: @tojislittleprincesss, @dinolvrrr, @kimi01985, @mikisspeak, @sakui1, @reiluvr, @gothicwhore666, @bunviixo

If you would like to be added to my taglist please let me know. Please specify what you want to be tagged in.

[lowkeyrobin]

Readerxfive where the reader gets their tongue split? (You know when it looks like a snake tongue because it's forked) his and family's reactions. Pls and thanks.

ooo okay okay ; also btw I just did this as a preference cause I could do a whole oneshot on this & it just kinda worked out better that way, hopefully that's okay! (these can be taken as platonic or romantic unless i made some kissing jokes lmao) ; I also do not know much about this so sorry if anything is wrong / incorrect ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy! ; also some are missing bc I don't rlly know how to write for them yet I apologize :((

TUA ; tongue split

includes ; diego, klaus, five, umbrella! ben, viktor, sparrow! ben, fei, & jayme

warnings ; language, mouth stuff / talk idk

disclaimers ; when I use the /p or /r it can be interpreted as platonic or romantic, romantic as yk cute in a romantic way or platonic in a "awe my sibling / friend is so happy" way

masterlist

DIEGO

"eugh wtf..."

he switches up rlly quick tho

"that's actually really cool"

he's so interested by it / wants to know everything about it

begs you to do weird tricks with your tongue since you kinda have two (in his eyes) now

"yknow I could've done that for you for free"

"and if you did it wouldn't have even been sterile. you haven't cleaned those knives practically ever."

KLAUS

"ooouuuu look at you, snake child!"

he's obv into alt fashion (kinda) / non gender conformity so he loves having a friend / sibling / lover who's super cool like him!

if you hold things in your mouth with it (somehow) he's watching

kinda grossed out but so intrigued by it

like it's not everyday you see someone with a split tongue yk?

"how did you not die doing that? you couldn't make me do that blacked out"

FIVE

silently looks at you like 😐😬😐😟

"what the hell? are you okay???"

even if you've been talking about wanting to get your tongue split for a long time, he's convinced you got it against your will

after realizing this was solely your choice of how you wanted to express yourself, his expression morphs to more of a 🤨😊🥰

he doesn't really understand alt fashion / body modifications but he's obviously supportive, as long as you're happy

he usually catches you rubbing your tongue over your teeth on both sides since the inside of your cheeks move some

"fun, huh?"

"yeah, it's cool"

UMBRELLA! BEN

thinks it's so cool since he never really got to do crazy teenager things when he was alive

he likes seeing you able to express yourself the way you like because you're your own person

lowkey proud of you for doing it since he knew you'd been wanting to for a while but you had to get the guts for it first

honestly kinda concerned that it hurts a lot or something cause for a while you can't stop messing around with your tongue

but it's more like loosing a tooth, you're okay 💪

VIKTOR

again, super supportive and thinks it's really cool

he loves seeing you express yourself the way you want too, it's really sweet

loves watching you move your tongue around in all different ways and shit lmao

"wait- do it again"

THAT LITTLE CHUCKLE.

for the vik lovers /romantic ->

"wait, what's it gonna be like to kiss you?"

"you wanna find out???"

"...yeah"

SPARROW! BEN

like Diego, repulsed for a moment

lowkey didn't realize what was happening for a second LMFAO

"oh wait, that's cool"

asks you a few questions and life returns to normal

but he finds you toying with the split tongue a lot pretty cute /platonic or /romantic

like you're so happy about it and he's just like 😊

FEI

"oo, that's nice. any aftercare you need to take care of? ill help you. you need some Tylenol?"

so nice lmfao

she finds it so interesting

she asks a handful of questions

also finds the messing around with your new tongue pretty cute /platonic or /romantic

she's just happy that you're happy man

lowkey wonders how different it is for you now, just in general lmao

JAYME

you're alike now kinda omg 🗣🗣

she's got snake venom, you got a snake tongue

she finds it so rad

little fistbump when she first sees "haha, nice dude!"

so obsessed with watching you do little tricks and move your tongue around

lowkey the cool older sister (or wise friend or lover) who encourages you to follow your little alt dreams because she kinda can't with being stuck to the academy

damn you reggie with that dress code...

she absolutely loves it tho

[sevikellsss]

UNSCRIPTED DESIRES: LOVE BEYOND THE JOB 18+ PART 2:

authors note: this took SOO long because ✨executive dysfunction✨ I'm honestly really proud of this, even though it took forever. I think I've done a good job. Read Part 1 first, if you haven't already! If you've read that please proceed, and enjoy!!

PART 2 SUMMARY: It’s your first day at The Gardens, and a terrifying customer awaits you…

warnings: mdni! soft! sevika, protective! sevika, body worship, themes of body dysmorphia.

word count: 3.1k

“Strip”, she demands suddenly, her grin getting bigger by the minute. You gasp at the instruction and your eyes widen in shock. You hate this and stripping is the last thing you want to do.

“Right now?”, you ask, moving your arms to your sides and hesitantly picking at the fabric of your corset above your hips. She looks at you, brows furrowed, her head leaning slightly in disbelief, and you know that you have no choice in the matter.

You look down at yourself and cringe at your appearance. You’ve never shown this much of yourself before. The only person who had seen your body was your ex and she wasn’t exactly nice about it.

You knew that stripping was part of the job when you took it, but you underestimated how intense it was going to feel.

Your cleavage on full display, bursting through your corset, the lacy ensemble hugging your figure, and your panties squeezing your thighs, your stretch marks peeking through ever so slightly.

This is the most exposed you’ve been in a while, and you don’t like it. Your insecurities bubble inside of you...

Your chest tenses up, feeling the pressure of her demand weighing heavy on your shoulders. You squeeze your eyes shut, cheeks pushed up towards your eyelids, hands clenched into tight fists of distress.

At this point, you’re doing anything to escape this situation. You try to clear your mind, to do something to forget about your surroundings. But all you can focus on is the panic you feel about being watched; being seen.

“Is everything alright, doll?”. A voice, peppered with concern, reaches your ears, but it’s too muffled for you to hear anything. The critical voice in your head rings too loud.

Your heart begins to pump out of your chest, and it gets harder and harder to breathe as your chest tightens, your breathing becoming sharp and fast, blood passing through your ears.

Pulling at the ends of your corset, you feel yourself unravelling, like you're about to cry, your head spinning as you see the images of the room in your mind swirling around you. You're welling up now, tears filling your eyes up to the brim and eventually pouring out like a boiling pot.

You try to calm yourself down and breathe but as your heart thumps faster and harder, your breathing becomes more and more shallow, and loud enough for people to hear you.

You don't want to be here. Anywhere but here. You wish you hadn't come in the first place. You just wanted to hide; and for someone to pull you out of this dreaded dreamscape that became your reality.....

"Hey!". Your eyes widen at the sound of that firm, yet calming voice, tears falling down your cheeks, your gaze fixed on the ground.

"Look at me"... You continue to stare at the floor, afraid to face to consequences of your emotional display.

"Look. At. Me".

The voice is much firmer. Her tone is rough... blunt, but there's an underlying softness shimmering underneath. Although with authority roughened around the edges, the fine line is sincerity above all.

There's no place to run this time, shrink yourself further or put a cloth over yourself to hide in security. You couldn't resist caving in under her spell and lifting your head up.

You slowly look up, and you're met with a stone-cold expression painted across her face, except for a tiny glint of concern showing up in her eyes.

"Breathe", she says. "Can you breathe for me?".

You nod, eyes widened and still in shock as you stare at her.

You look deeper into her eyes, relaxing yours after a while, and you try your very best to control your breathing, taking short, shallow breaths, slowly letting them become smooth and prolonged. You start to feel more relaxed.

Her eyes don't leave yours the entire time. It weirdly makes you feel better, knowing that she's there to calm you in your obvious time of need. You're able to calm your thoughts now, only focusing on her frosted pupils.

You look at her as if to ask for further instruction.

"Come here", she states, beckoning you over to her. You walk on over, timidly clasping your hands together, trembling with every step; and you end up very close to her, stood in between her legs, looking down at her in front of you.

"Straddle me"...

You gasp a little at her words.

Straddle her? How could you, after how embarrassed you are about this? About panicking this much in front of her?

And you haven't been that close to anybody in a very long time. That's why you panicked in the first place; it's been so long since you've been so open with someone regarding your body, and the last time didn't go too well. Your heart starts to beat again at the thought of being so close to her.

You swallow. "Uh, okay", you mutter. Eventually, you proceed.

Nervous, you put your hands on her shoulders, using her as leverage, and you lift each leg over hers, carefully sitting on her lap.

Nothing but goosebumps cover your whole body as you feel how sturdy her thighs are underneath your plump and fleshy ones. You felt the veins of her thighs and the firmness against your skin, her muscles flexing slightly. You feel your cheeks heating up at how strong she feels.

As you look into her eyes, her muscular yet soft hand travel slowly down your back, towards the side of your hip and onto your ass.

She looks at you completely deadpan, that concerned glint still in her eye, and she brings her metal hand up to rest on your cheekbone. The cold sensation of her metallic fingers sends a shiver down your spine...

"You want to tell me what that was about?", she asks, again quite sternly but with a kindness hidden in her tone.

"Uh....".

That question terrifies you. You haven't really talked to anyone about the insecurities surrounding your body, let alone how people have treated you for it. You've been bullied by others because of it your whole life; even one of the girls made fun of you today....

Telling anyone, especially Sevika, felt humiliating. She looks at you, patiently waiting for your answer.

"I... uh... I can't", you say in defeat, shaking your head towards the floor. You want to respond but you can't; you're just too scared.

She gently pulls your chin back to meet her eyes again, forcing you to answer. "Try".

Your eyes light up hearing her say that. Knowing that she wants to listen warms your heart in ways that you cannot explain.

No one has ever cared to ask how you feel besides your parents, and you'd never really made friends with people who genuinely appreciated you. Your ex? A whole different story. Having Sevika of all people want to hear you out, was nice.

"Well... okay. If you're open to listening", you reply, softly. She nods as a way of telling you to proceed, her fingers gently circling the sides of your hips.

"People... aren't really nice to me... well because I...because i'm fat". She raises her eyebrows.

"And, I'm just insecure about my body because of it. I just feel so ugly. That's why I got so scared when you asked me to.... you know..".

She looks at you and nods in understanding. "Hmm"... She thinks about what to say for a second.

"Well, fat doesn't mean ugly". She then scans your body, top to bottom. "And you're definitely not ugly". Sevika squeezes your ass, laughing slightly through a mischievous smirk, a danger in her eyes shining through.

Your cheeks warm up again at her words, a smile creeping up on your face.

"Really?", you ask...

"Fuck yeah". She looks at you, scanning you for the second time, drinking every inch of you in. "Pretty eyes, cute smile". Her metal thumb brushes gently against your chin. Your smile grows bigger as you hear her shower you with compliments.

"And your body? You got nothing to worry about, trust me". But then Sevika says this, and your smile slowly dissipates. You shake your head.

"You don't have to lie to me". You look back down to the floor again, tears starting to well up in your eyes. Back to square one.

Sevika, concerned, looks back at you. She exhales in defiance, unwilling to accept your negative self-talk, and places her hands firmly on your hips.

"Stand up", she commands, much to your surprise. You do as she says and stand in front of her, bewildered by the instruction, but still willing to follow through anyway.

She gets up out of her seat, turning you to face away from her, bringing her hands to touch you and lightly grab your waist. Slowly, she guides your body towards the mirror beside the couch, and she makes you do the most difficult thing you'd have to do in this interaction so far.

Face yourself.

Instinctively, you look away, head toward your shoulder, not wanting to see the flaws that are so obvious to you.

"Hey, look at yourself for me". Your head stays put.

"Look at yourself for me", she repeats emphatically, smirking away at you. Reluctantly, you look up and see yourself in the mirror....

There you are in your entirety. Eyes wide, cheeks full, lips parted slightly. Broad shoulders slanting on either side, the top half of your corset, hugging your breasts as your cleavage spills over; and the bottom revealing your rounded figure, your hips peering out below the high waisted panties you're wearing.

You notice your legs and the pudginess of your thighs; the way they lean into your knees and back out to your calves. Every part of your body, while you're cringing as you're looking at it, feels so cohesive. Like each part meshes wonderfully together.

"See? You got nothing to worry about", Sevika states, her hands delicately holding you in place. "Your body is beautiful. You're absolutely beautiful..."

Initially, you were staring at yourself with waves of uneasiness filling your insides, thoughts of how disgusting your body is to you, but the more you look, the more you think about how Sevika feels about you; the more you're finding things that you actually like about your body.

Like you've always loved how round your cheeks were, it made you look sweet...kind. And no matter how bad people made you feel for it, you didn't mind how wide and pointed your hips were; they made you feel beautiful sometimes; almost sexy?

Looking at your body like this, taking it all in, while scary at first, gradually started to feel better.

"Thank you.... Y-you've made me feel better, especially on my first day". You turn away from the mirror and look at her, shooting her a look of gratitude and holding her hands in front of you.

"Not a problem, princess". The 'scary lady' smiles, and walks you back to the couch, sitting back down with her legs spread. She slaps her thigh, twice, inviting you to sit on her lap.

And so, you do, confidently this time.

"So... how was your first day? Enjoy yourself?". Sevika chuckles and smiles to herself at her question, looking at you, securing your waist in her hand. "You know, besides the panic attack that I caused".

You both laugh heartily, yours coming out as a giggle rather than a chuckle as big as her own.

"Besides that, it was mostly nice. I'm glad I had you as my first customer; you make me feel...". You pause, trying to find the words. "You've made me feel worth it".

Sevika looks pleased hearing you say that. As much as she loves to go to the brothel to make herself feel good, after a long day's work; making the workers feel good has always been just as important to her.

"Good". She takes your chin in her hand and smooths her thumb over your soft lips. "I hope that panic attack was the only bad thing about your day".

"I wish", you mutter. Your eyes shift to the floor and Sevika scrunches her brow, surprised at your confession.

"Hmm? What happened to make you say that?", she enquires. You take a breath, getting ready to explain the other downsides of your day. You're not looking forward to this, but she's made you feel comfortable enough to express yourself.

"When I arrived, these girls... they started laughing at me. Laughing at what I looked like. I overheard one of them call me a name". You take a look at Sevika's face, and that unnerving scowl is back; and this time, the danger in her eyes has no flirty connotations.

"Show me". She demands. You furrow your brows, confused as to what she's asking you to do. But then it hits you, and you stand up and step towards that maroon-coloured curtain, bringing her with you.

You pull back the curtain and bring Sevika's attention to three women entertaining a customer in the room opposite yours, their drapery opened enough to see them.

A busty brunette with an hourglass figure, a rambunctious red head, blue eyes gleaming at whoever's in front of her, her loud cackle filling the room, and the queen bee, right in the middle.

Blonde , thin as a twig, batting her bright green eyes at the customer, flirting mercilessly with him. Her hair is slicked back into a ponytail, accentuating the height of her cheekbones, her lips pursed above her perfectly crafted jawline. You point at her tentatively whilst she seduces her prey.

"She's the one who called me a name", you announce, disapproval in your tone. Suddenly, you see her turn her head and catch your eye, and she smiles slyly at seeing you watch her. You immediately shut the curtain and turn your back towards them.

Sevika reflects on how triumphant she looked when she was talking. From her smile, all the way to her body language. The way she was sitting up straight, how she was playing with her hair, twirling the ends of it, the daggers in her eyes.

There was an arrogance to it; as if she thought she was above everyone else.

"She thinks she's the shit, huh?". Her distaste is crystal clear in her voice. You nod profusely in response.

"Haha... yep". You fold your arms, trying to shield yourself as you think about how that girl treated you.

Sevika glares towards the curtain in front of you both, seething at the thought of someone treating you that way. Then a sly smile of her own is plastered across her face. An idea she was definitely planning on following through with, filled her brain.

"Why don't we give her something to look at? Make her jealous." She nudges you gently, her head tilted, waiting for your answer.

"Ah... I don't know", you say apprehensively. You look at the curtain, and then back at her. You see her face, and she looks like she's trying hard to convince you.

It would be fun, you think to yourself, picturing that smug look on that girl's face disappear as you carry out whatever plan Sevika has concocted.

You close your eyes for a few seconds and open them back up with a newfound fire inside them.

"Okay!", you exclaim. "So, what's the plan?". Sevika seizes your hand and drags you outside of the room you were in, and takes a strong hold of your waist, both hands against your hips. In the corner of your eye, you see the queen bee look over to where you're standing.

Sevika leans over your shoulder, her mouth pressed up against your ear, the sensation of her lips brushing against it. "Can I kiss you?", she whispers.

Your breath hitches as your heart begins to fill with excitement. You accept the offer with a quick but soft nod of your head.

She takes your face in her hand and presses her lips against yours, feeling the warmth of your lips against hers. You kiss her back, cautious at first, unsure of what to do; but then you relax into it, and pull her into an embrace as her soft lips make yours tingle, lips brushing together; her breath tickling your nose.

She slowly pulls her lips away, leaving you with a proud look across her face, a large differentiation in yours. You look at her, dazed, stunned, disoriented.

"Wow..", you say. "That was...."

"Good?", she asks, laughing as she puts her hands on her hips.

"Yes, definitely". You giggle, putting your hand over your mouth bashfully. Sevika looks to see if "Blondie" noticed how well you were getting along, and it was safe to say she did. You turn to see for yourself, and that pompous look on her face went straight into a displeased frown in a matter of seconds.

Your giggle becomes a hearty laugh as your attention shifts back to Sevika. "I think we definitely made her jealous".

"I think that's fair to say, doll", she retorts, gently nudging you again. Sevika then clutches you tightly into her arms, surprising you and lifting you off your feet a little.

"Wait here for me". Then she releases you, going back into the private room you were in.

You wait there, hardly able to contain your excitement, fiddling with your hands and grinning up to your ears. Your heart racing, your mind thinking of all the things she could be doing, imagining what she thinks about you.

You've just met, but you can't help it. The amount of feelings that you have felt just from meeting her has already changed your life for the better. You hope that she'll come around and change it for the better again.

She pulls the curtain back and brings a large pouch, filled with money for your services. You almost forgot this was your job, until you saw that.

"I gotta pay you sometime, right?", she jokes. You smile, taking the money from her hands.

"Thank you, Sevika". You sway from side to side as you hold the pouch in your hands. "I hope you'll come around again?". You wait in anticipation, silently pleading for her to say what you want to hear. That she'll be back.

"Definitely". She leans down with her hand on your back, and places a kiss on your cheek, grinning in your direction.

"Goodbye now". She finally turns away, and before you can reply, confidently walking towards the exit.

You watch her in awe, wishing you could have said goodbye in your own little way, full of hope for your next interaction at The Gardens....

taglist: @archangeldyke-all @yer-boiiii @myrkkymato @abitohoney @abitohoney-fics @xthescarletbitch @sevikaspillowprincess

[hahaifolded]

Can We Make This Work? (4)

Nanami Kento x POC!Fem Reader x Gojo Satoru (Masterlist) Chapter 4: Trouble in Paradise (Previous) (Next) Summary: Determined to befriend your husband, you tried surprising him. Warnings: Angst

It's been a month since you married Nanami Kento and to say it was blissful would be too kind. The first week or so was nice. After moving into the spare room of his apartment, you tried to get to know your husband, from riding to and from work together to cooking and eating together. You even tried picking up drinking to find more common ground with the man.

However, curses had another idea. By the second week, Yaga increased your workload , forcing you to stay in the field more, drastically cutting your time with Nanami. Which only left you with the morning rides to work which were always quiet since Nanami wasn't much of a morning person. And despite you best efforts, you couldn't fully break Nanami out of his shell.

Your goal wasn't to make the man fall in love with you. You weren't delusional. You knew he didn't want this so actual love was not going to blossom overnight. All you wanted was to be his friend. The world knows that you didn't have any at the moment.

Since being classified, everyone stayed clear of you. It seemed that everyone was either intimidated by you or feared you. Everyone avoided you like the plague, only speaking to you when necessary. You asked Yaga if you had done something, but he shooed you away, almost hesitant to speak on it.

Leaving you to walk on campus, in the city, everywhere alone. You've never felt lonelier. You were all by yourself in a new city with no one to confide in. All you had were curses.

That's why you so badly wanted to befriend Nanami. He was the only person who could possibly understand what you were going through. But it seemed that life had other plans.

That's why today you had a plan. You asked Yaga to leave your lunch open, a request he agreed to out of fear. After completing your morning missions, you asked Ijichi to take you to a bakery in town that you knew was your husband's favorite.

You noticed early on how much Nanami enjoyed food. While trying to get to know him, you had asked him about his favorite places to eat in the city and this bakery was up on his list. Now with his favorite sandwich in hand, you were going to surprise Nanami with lunch.

Your body buzzed in excitement as you walked towards the break room with the bag of goods. Maybe this can be a reoccurring thing. Maybe not everyday, but at least once a week, you giddily thought. Your mouth watered from the smell emitting from the bag. Both your mind and stomach were going to thank you later for this.

As you got closer to the break room, you could hear your husband's voice as well as three other male voices. It seems like they were deep in conversation.

"And then Nanami, he just... wow. Honestly, you really have to teach me how to punch like that," complemented a man. He sounded fairly young and jovial. You heard your husband hum, neither in agreement or disagreement.

"Okay, we get it, Ino! Nanami is super cool. We all should be like him," complained a third voice, one that you easily recognized as the second-year teacher, Kusakabe. You actually tried talking to him the other day, but when he heard you calling his name, he immediately turned around and ran away. It made you chuckle every time you thought about it.

Suddenly a recognizable laugh rang in the air. "This guy... please. That tie offsets any possibility of him being cool." From the laugh alone, you recognized it to be Gojo who you haven't seen since the day of your classification.

With a bag in hand and excitement in your heart, you were just a turn away from entering the break room. However, an interesting question made you pause.

"So Nanami, how's married life going?" asked Kusakabe with food in his mouth. Not going really. I mean we haven't had much time to hang so he's probably going to say--

"Horrible. I honestly don't want to talk about it," your husband admitted. Your chest tightened. You weren't expecting that.

"Really? She seems nice," said Ino in a surprised tone.

"Forget nice! If I was married to that, you would never hear me complain again in my life," shared Kusakabe. "You're just being dramatic. It can't be that--." Before he could finish, something slammed against the table, silencing everyone.

Nanami spat out with utter frustration, "You have absolutely no idea how much this marriage has inconvenienced my life. So don't dare try to say that I should be content just because she isn't a complete monster." You heard him pause to catch his breath.

"I mean marriage isn't easy," feebly added Ino.

"Yeah, but everyone else had a choice," bit back Nanami.

"What's so bad then?" asked Kusakabe.

"Where do I even start. She's always begging for attention. Is constantly asking questions. I can't even get a moment to myself without her popping up, begging to hang out." A deep breath followed. He started up again, slightly calmer. "You know, I used to find great comfort in my home, but now I feel suffocated in it as I know she will be there. I even had to ask Yaga to assign her on more missions so I can have some peace back home."

Hearing enough, you left and made your way back to your office.

-- -- --

I know things weren't ideal, but I didn't think they were that bad, you thought as you cradled your head in your hands. You sat in your office in complete silence to think about what you just heard.

Sure, neither of us wanted this. I mean we're both victims here, right? We could have made it work, no? The sandwiches were getting cold as they sat on your desk.

"Fuck!"

Of course things were never going to work out between you two. You were never going to be his friend and even less his lover. These things would never happen, because that meant that Nanami Kento had to like you, the insufferable foreign sorcerer that forced a man into a marriage that didn't benefit him.

He wasn't the problem, you were. While he opened his home to you, you only brought discomfort and misery to it. This was never going to work. No matter what you did. You will always be the woman that robbed him of his freedom.

"Fuck."

You had to make it up to him. You had to made this work for him. You had to give him back his freedom.

-- -- --

"Hey Gojo, what's with the face? Sense a curse or something?" asked Ino.

"No, it's... it's nothing."

Word Count: 1130

Previous - Masterlist - Next

Author's Notes: Guys, I just realized that I've been spelling Ijichi's name wrong this whole time. I went back and fixed it in the other chapters so if you saw it.... shhhh no you didn't.

Also this is my first time writing angst. When I first thought of this scene, it made my heart hurt, but when I wrote it here, it didn't. And to me good angst is when your chest gets all warm and low key hurts. So I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts on it. Obviously I don't think this is like revolutionary or the best angst out there, but I just want to know if this is like decent angst.

Next chapter will all be in Nanami's POV so stay tune!

[braxlrose]

I miss ur writings sm :(

I am so sorry that I've been gone for so long, I haven't posted any fan fiction in so many months and honestly I lost motivation 😭 so many ppl who were in this fandom and I created a community with, were slowly getting over this "phase" and it definitely affected me. But I'm going to try and get back into writing. I hope this will do good for now! Ive had a lot of ppl recently ask for 2005 bill hcs, and I've done that before so if this is repetitive for something else I've written, sorry!

content warnings: none

a/n: I'll be updating my tag list since it hasn't been updated since like August of last year and I don't want to be tagging people who don't care or want to see these posts anymore. So if you wanna be tagged, let me know!

2005!bill kaulitz x f!reader

sfw:

- I'm an alternative person so whenever I write for bill, I always imagine him with an alternative girl 😞 even though from what I've seen he's never really been w/ an alternative one, BUT LETS PRETEND OKAY 🙏🙏

• he absolutely loves doing hair together, I think he enjoys helping you do your hair in the morning and your make up. And he's even more greatful if you do his makeup. Then he can just relax while you help him.

• pookie has crunchy ass hair at the end of the day when he has to wash it out, don't make fun of him 😞

• getting piercings together is something he LOVES doing with you. Mainly early piercings because he only has a tongue and eyebrow piercing on his face.

• if you made music too, he would always go to your concerts and basically scream the entire time. Hopefully, you'd do the same for him.

• if you have longer nails, head scratches are always a must and he will lay in your lap for literal hours while you pamper him.

- I personally think he would love to learn words in your language if you keep something different than German. And despite what anybody thinks, he finds it hilarious to learn the dirty words.

• if you cook him something from your culture, he will literally die. He basically thinks everything about you is so cool, and learning about a culture different from his is so exciting

• but if you two really want to date, you'll have to both try to learn English or each other language because there is going to be a hard language barrier between you two.

- I think one of the reasons he would've fallen in love with you is because you were upfront with him. He's not the type of guy to just go up and kiss someone so if you confess first, that would make things so much easier.

- obviously, you'd have to get along with Tom, Georg and Gustav. So if you don't, there's no way he'll go out with you, especially if you can't get along or hate Tom.

-Dates together consist of stuff you guys bought somewhere, or if you guys went to a fastfood restaurant.

• He doesn't have a lot of money yet so dates wouldn't exactly be high class, hopefully you don't mind 😉

-Since this is around the time Tokio Hotel is getting increasingly famous, there are fangirls around trying to flirt and ask out bill all the time and he has to shoo them off. He reminds you every night about how much he loves you and that those fan girls shouldn't bother you.

-he likes to spoon you a lot, and you two switch back n forth between him being the big spoon and the small spoon.

• I think he also really likes it when you lay on top of him, with your face in his neck and your legs wrapped around him. (This also works sitting upwards).

• cuddling with him is so nice too because he actually smells really good 😱

- I think he still gets very insecure sometimes because of the haters and people who harass the band because they don't like them and you reassure him a lot.

a/n pt 2: sorry this wasn't too long! I'm trying to get back into the groove of writing so if this is terrible I'm sorry 😞

taglist: none right now

[loudclan-clangen]

Fierce x Silt would be an ABSOLUTE POWER COUPLE and you are welcome to ship them all you want (as always) but in cannon Fiercestripe would never, even for a moment, consider taking another mate. If Wildfirecry dies before her she will wait that shit out cause she's not single, her husband is just in starclan. I honestly think that even without Wildfirecry in the picture she's just too much of a caretaker/mom friend to ever be in a relationship with someone younger than her. Fiercestripe needs her mate to be the one person in her life that she is not worried about if that makes sense? She'll help find Silt a nice new boyfriend who is not 48 moons older than her and they can be crochety grandparents in the elder's den together.

No. <3

Thank you! And do not be sorry because YES! You're so right! She's seeing herself in the stars and so she doesn't look any farther into it but it's just an image she's projecting, not something someone is showing her. She also doesn't put any thought into the fact that in order to walk amongst the stars she would have to pass away so, she's literally seeing a future where she dies due to her own inflated self image and it just inflates her self image more. It's a self fulfilling prophecy and it makes me love her and her story so much!

It was not intentional as I haven't watched centaurworld, but upon listening to it I see what you mean! It definitely fits in with what I was trying to reference, which are those kinda ominous lullabies (hush a bye baby was the specific one that came to mind while drawing), but to be honest with you it's a relatively minor detail in the overall comic. What the character is saying is a lot less important than what the character is about to do so i didn't put a ton of thought into it.

Thank you! I am also shocked by how little time has passed in story like what do you mean we aren't even at two years yet? Eklutna wasn't even here for a moon? How is that possible?! I know that Moon 21 brought and is still bringing a LOT of people to the blog and I am so grateful for that! Loudclan gained like 200 followers over my break and that's AWESOME but also a little bit terrifying tbh. Don't worry I also got attached to Mothtree and I was like lying in bed thinking about the fact that she dies for like three whole months while I and everyone else drew cute art of her.

Thank you! I'm so happy to be at a point where I'm happy with my art and my process and that has a lot to do with all the support I've gotten from you guys! You're an awesome community who has encouraged my growth at every opportunity and I couldn't be luckier! All that said I hope you get to enjoy a minor version of the same process all over again as I get back in the routine of drawing cats again after my break lol.

I mean... they are kinda yellow... could that mean... PACKMAN IS THE BABYDADDY?!?!?!

I did really enjoy my break! I got to go to Greece and Germany with some of my best friends and then I came home and cracked down on school work (which wasn't necessarily fun, but feels good to be done with), and now I am rested and relaxed and ready to get back into it!

Thank you! I try to put a lot of thought into them! Things like that are generally the first thing that I envision when I'm formulating a comic page and then I build the rest of it around that original idea which I hope helps to make the pages more dynamic and less repetitive.

Thank you, I can't wait to finally drop Part 2! Only 5 more days!

[thefaiao]

Hi, firstly I just wanted to say that I love your art, especially with the way you use dynamism and angles in character sketches. It's really beautiful and I always look forward to seeing more black and white pieces from you.

I just wanted to ask, as a beginner artist whose been drawing on and off from 2017 onwards and hasn't seen much improvement, are there any resources or books you would recommend for someone still trying to grasp form and shape? Especially in creating 3d forms with line? I'd love to be able to draw characters in a similar way that you do but my cubes and cones never seem to come out correctly and humanoid shapes are even tougher. Thanks again for sharing your art.

Hello! Thank you very much for the compliments. Up until somewhat recently the B&W pieces were my favorite things to draw, so I get you. I did fall in love with coloring eventually though.

Alright, there are lots of things that can be done. I have had some classical training, and done human figure studies live, but honestly not nearly as much as I probably should have. You definitely should still do figure study as much as possible, especially in person. I'm just prefacing to say it may not get you to draw the way I draw I suppose, as its only part of what I've done to improve my drawing ability.

There are a few good resources to start with, notably the Loomis method, which a lot of artists use as a base. That's how you should use it too, ideally. It's not about copying his work exactly, it's about understanding just how the human body is proportioned, and adapting it from there. It doesn't have to define your thinking, it's just a good guideline. It's possible to structure a body quite differently than Loomis (and there are many many books for that), but the truth, which is, the proportions of the human body, is still there in all mindsets. Once you understand that, you can understand the reason for each approach, and even forego them to express something more unique, abstract and visceral.

The biggest thing you should do though, is always be observing the world around you, both online and offline. Figure studies are nice but they remove one of the most important things, and that is context. I find that people who will use those large libraries from people who pose professionally with bows and swords and the like will often draw technically impressive images, but they still feel like a fake pose. It doesn't feel like the person is holding onto the weapon like their life depended on it, or like they have a relationship with the object, that they pose and move in a certain way that reflects their personality. Live study with strangers helps rectify this somewhat.

Online you should also be following lots and lots of different artists! Don't limit yourself, pay attention to how they construct their drawings, how they go about things. It's important you follow a lot of people, see how they evolve. They are not only a point in time, they are also learning and evolving just like you. It's especially good if you can have artists friends to draw and share stuff with. I have a deep-seated belief that we draw art for others, to express ourselves to them, so they need to see it.

It may sound weird for me to say if you want to draw like me try to draw unlike me, but I'm just saying what I've done. I follow a lot of people and draw from a lot of places. Ultimately the main appeal of my forms is their dynamism and volume as you've said, but it's good to be versatile so you can always explore new avenues!

Now, you've done all these things, you are practicing them constantly. Now is the most important part. Keep drawing!!! Just keep drawing no matter what, no matter how bad you think it looks. You have to believe you have something to say, to express, no matter what. You say you haven't improved, but I don't believe you! Maybe you are faster, maybe your technique is better, maybe you have better habits, maybe you are a little more patient. There are a million ways to improve which don't even appear in the image. You have to keep drawing, NO MATTER WHAT!!! You have to believe you were born to do this and you will do it well, don't worry about what others think.

I can only draw such dynamic forms because I have kept drawing and masticating and elaborating this idea that is called my style. When you are drawing you are developing your own little language, and only when you are fluent you can start writing good books with it. Being fluent will take many years, you must accept that. If you take breaks, take breaks so you can keep drawing later. Take care of your health so you can keep drawing. You will only get to see your drawings become beautiful if you live long. To live a long and healthy life is to keep drawing.

That is my ultimate advice really, let that frustration build up, but keep drawing anyway. You will force yourself to find solutions to release that frustration as you do so, and improve. Maybe it's simple, but it's the only thing that is true no matter what. Don't worry about AI or whatever, none of that matters. Just keep drawing!

[pianocat939]

Hey, you don’t gotta answer this but if you every have the time, I really really like your mean girls au!! So far I’ve seen like tough y/n and stuff, but what about a super sensitive MC? :0 If possible, maybeeee all the boys? But if I had to narrow it down then Leo and Donnie? And if I had to narrow it down even more, just Donnie :p if you get the time to look this over, you don’t like have to answer this, obviously. I won’t be offended or anything so don’t feel pressured to answer this ask!!

(I actually haven't done Mikey, primarily because I'm still thinking of an exact idea for him. Right now, I'm situating with fine arts kid who's also like "the perfect" student. Like personality wise.)

Tw: guilt-tripping, manipulation, controlling relationship, a few mentions of murder and violence

Mean Girl Donnie:

If you thought you could survive as a sensitive person with this bitch, then you're wrong.

He'll notice when you're sad or hurt by his sharp statements (insults really). Unfortunately, he'll use it to his advantage.

After a while of just straight insults, he'll slowly start to be a bit better. He'll express less harshness and a bit more sugar. Just to surprise you, and start craving for that small amount of sweets he gives.

Once he knows you're slowly starting to get addicted, he'll start to give a few compliments. Maybe a head pat once in a while. All in favour of his master plan.

He'll then start to insult your friends and family, saying that if they truly cared, they wouldn't leave you with him. (In a way he's insulting both himself and others but in a way that leaves you feeling a bit bad for him). But of course, you're too attached to him.

You can't leave him. You can't escape the slight bits of affection he gives you. Not to mention the ultimate perks of having him so close. (He could murder someone and get away with it if he really wanted to).

He loves that you're so attached to him, unable to leave him despite his toxic mean-sweet behaviour. He enjoys it, knowing he has complete power. Soon enough he'll be feeding you both his terrors and sweets.

"You look so disgusting in those clothes. Here, put this over, it'll make you less repulsive. You'll look much more appealing."

Bimbo Leo:

See, unlike Donnie's mathematical equation: +1-1, it's more like +0.5-0.5. (MC is the right variable) In other words, the severity of what happens is a lot better and more tolerable.

The fact that you're a sensitive person makes him so excited. Maybe, unlike everybody else, you won't be annoyed with his antics. He starts flooding you with affection. Clinging to you for every second of his time.

Until you're just so overwhelmed you actually have to tell him to pause for a bit.

Will he pause? Of course not.

He'll keep giving more and more. To the point, you have to decide whether or not you tell him it's too much, or continue to deal with it.

If you stay, he won't raise the level of his clinging. Maybe even lower it. (He assumes you're willing to stay, so he's less paranoid). But if you pick the other option, he's going to start guilt-tripping like crazy.

Whimpering and whining why he can't just feed you his love. All he wants is to be the most wonderful person of your life!

It's really only up to MC whether or not he'll snap out of his bimbo act.

"MC, I literally just love you so much! I don't mean any harm, maybe you're just not used to it. I'm not like...him."

It's Donnie.

Jock Raph:

Honestly, not a lot changes from his initial post I made. He just tends to be more willing to kill/commit violence.

Maybe a bit more likely to baby them because of their fragile emotional awareness.

"MC, those people really aren't nice to you. You should just stay away from them from now on."

.

I admit, I don't have much ideas for him. I'm not sure why, but I just don't.

(I'm gonna be honest, I rarely have ideas for Raph considering he's my least favourite out of them all. And also perhaps I don't understand his personality or relate with him AT ALL. Which makes it all the more difficult for me)

- Celina

[one-and-a-half-yikes]

Im gonna be honest i think we need to understand how oswald's and fanny's relationship REALLY was, because its clear that they both describe it with still personal very very strong feelings and they do run head first into that Unreliable narrator territory often enough to make me belive theres something big missing a invisible elephant in the room if you will

Fanny says oswald betrayed her

While oswald says she was extremly toxic and wants her away (yet he still pulled all that shit at the dance like bro she was litellary just having fun at an even that you just so happened to be at Then you walked up to her asked her for a dance and acted like she was the devil and started accusing her)

And while both these things could be true in sense we need to know HOW, how was fanny toxic? How did oswald betray her? We have a silloute of a picture but not the frame or the pieces

Also I do seriously wonder how was fanny toxic to oswald? It all was very very long ago and while fanny's personality could be mirroring her now but She didnt have all the experience she has now she had to be diffrent from how she's now

(Also I truly belive oswald definitley fucked up in some way too and we don't know it yet like she had multiple boyfriends but oswald stucks out and not only that but even the thought of him angers her, it could be because if we look at the timeline he could be her first boyfriend or alternativley her ticked out of bad home life like you said but I do think there has to be more to it especialy since again we don't know that much about how he was all that time ago...but we do know fanny likes to ignore neon red flags)

Sorry for the long ask oh my i didnt mean to write it so long I hope you don't mind my mid analisis in your ask box but you did say you wanna talk more about fanny so

ヾ (‘∀ `*)

Honestly I don't mind people hitting my askbox up with analyses or their own takes on certain parts of IM I live for this and I WOULD like to interact with the Inky Mystery fandom more on tumblr cause most of the time I'm hanging out with everyone on discord, but it's nice to talk on here too lol

I'm gonna guess you're asking for my opinion on this?

I don't know if I would describe them as both being unreliable narrators, because from my knowledge Oswald has never divulged to anyone about his relationship with Fanny so we don't really know what his whole perspective on the matter actually is. We don't know if he thinks he was innocent throughout the relationship or if he acknowledges that they were both toxic and bad for each other. What we know is that Oswald was the one who dumped Fanny not the other way around and that means something to me at least.

Fanny on the other hand...I would definitely call her an unreliable narrator when this is how she's describing the breakup:

If you were to only hear from Fanny's side of things you could be convinced that Oz was having an affair with Ortensia on the side during his relationship with Fanny. But this isn't the case, and there's nothing from Fanny's side to provide evidence that this was the case. Not to mention that she's implying that Ortensia seduced Oz into breaking up with her so she could replace her. Calling her an unreliable narrator here doesn't even cut it she's just outright lying about two people who haven't really done her wrong.

But this isn't the first time either. In another chapter she makes a bunch of accusations against Oswald again.

Accusations, that again, are not proven to be true. We got Oswald's perspective during the Far Far West arc and anything pertaining to Fanny never came up. He never talked to anyone about it. He never talked to Cuphead about it. Hell, he didn't even talk to Cuphead at the group date either.

We've only had Oswald make one real accusation against Fanny from when they were together and it was in response to an accusation that Fanny made about him. We have no idea whether Oz is telling the truth or not, but I also have no reason to see why he'd lie. I don't think Fanny is lying to cover up anything, I think she's so bitter about the break up it doesn't occur to her that Oz breaking up with her wasn't to spite her or anything. Yes it hurt and it sucks the way her life turned out after the break, but that's not Oz's fault. He's not responsible for that.

All in all, I think it's good to have an open mind about their relationship, but we also have to look at the facts and the facts show that it's not on equal ground. One person is spreading rumors or fabrications and the other hasn't said a word about the situation to anyone.

Hell, even at the group date situation, Oz approached Fanny to call her out on her behavior but he could have just as easily gone straight to Cuphead and warned him about Fanny and her past. Oswald keeps what happened between them to himself and those he knows best. Fanny has openly talked shit about both Ortensia and Ozzy in front of other people casually without consideration for privacy.

The whole thing regarding why Oswald angers her so much whenever she thinks about him. I have ideas, and I feel like I'm right on the money but I want to wait and see before making a big meta post about their relationship. M shared something juicy on the discord and I am very excited when we get to see it!!!

Also THANK YOU for the ask!! This was nice I'm glad I got to gush about these two some more because I often don't lol

[fromdarzaitoleeza]

Ahh it's the last day of 2023 already?

I am expecting a call from a friend although the possibility of this happening is very slim it always felt nice to hear the voice of an old friend ( I'm not a text person I've realised this over time but I am stuck to be a text person) .

I can't wait for spring to come in 2024 , spring provides an intense amount of healing to my soul.

The next four months are very crucial in my life if they go well I can survive the rest of the year, I have died a couple of times this year and I am amazed that I am alive i didn't honestly thought i would make it to the end of this year ( especially in the last 3 months , I badly needed help but i didn't wanted others to pity me so i spoke to none about it ) anyways I don't want to talk about it , i don't want to make it sound blue than it already is,a i am really sorry about the fact all my posts are blue I sincerely wish it wasn't that way( altho i haven't posted anything here with as much as devotion I use to do , partly cuz i created an Instagram acc but that's not all reason I ve been sad nonetheless) and sorry for all the "anon/asks" that i haven't answered

I have made no achievements this year and there is little to no progress towards my self love or self growth, but I think that's okay I can do it in the upcoming year, time flies so quick i can't believe Its been so many years since I was 16 I miss being 16 honestly I had more in me back then than i have now , i have lost of confidence my vision and my smile over the years it's as if I am very different person now , i certainly wish I wasn't this way i really thought i would be so much more and better in my early 20s but it is what it is , acceptance is haredest of all emotions in my opinion , you know things are harder to accept when you know you could have done better .

Just like in the last 2 years even this year I didn't make any real life friends with whom I can hang out with i think it's partly due to the fact some people are destined to be alone and I am afraid to admit I am one of them , I did make 2 online friends this year .

I don't want to share any life lessons i learnt this year but if there is something i would love to share is choose yourself one more time each time you feel it's the last time you are doing it , choose one more time to live,one more time to hope, one more time to have faith , one more time to start again [ the fact I am the one telling you this is rediciculosly funny ] .

Unlike most people i don't have a lot of goals for the new year I just got things i want to avoid ( idk if that's the same thing?) Avoid my leftover heart's heartbreak, avoiding what takes away my peace, avoiding what can cause me discomfort, avoiding things that make me question myself ( in any negative way) ,i think that's a little too much but that's it .

As I was writing this Google photos sent me a notification saying " 3 years back today with a photo of mine " and it broke my heart a little, now I am questioning myself how did i let so much happen to me , I wish I treated certain things as the last time instead of always stupidly believing in future ( my worse trait yes).

There is a lot to say as always, i wonder if I open my mouth i would never stop sharing things that go inside my mind , but i also know there is no use of it if i can't find people who can understand it , maybe that's how I end up ranting here .

Not to mention I love people who are patient, i believe in the near future i would only like to talk with people who could be patient with me and with my silence . I believe everyone deserves people who can be patient with them .

Nothing really matters in the end but at the same time everything you do matters ❤️‍🩹

[apollos-olives]

question about hamas - so, i fully support hamas' actions of liberation against israel, whatever they might be. however i feel like i can't fully support hamas, and the only reason is bc i heard they're harmful as a governing body to the palestinians in gaza. for example hamas building unnecessary expensive luxury mosques even though most gazans were against money used for that. like any other unideal goverment that can be corrupt. it would be rlly nice to hear ur opinion on the matter bc you seem to be rlly knowledgeable, and hear if I'm actually completely off the mark lol. thank you and have a pleasant week.

i mean, to be completely honest, i don't really care about hamas. and honestly if anyone thinks this whole thing is still about hamas and not about israel committing as many atrocities as possible, then tbh they're extremely ignorant. not to say you're ignorant, anon, and your ask is totally understandable, it's just i really don't care about hamas. i support them as a freedom fighter group, but other than that i don't pay attention to them or what they do. obviously most governments around the middle east are extremely corrupt, but i don't keep up with what hamas does. i'm sure it's done things that gazans haven't liked and it's done things that gazans have liked, but it's not like any other government doesn't do that either. holding hamas to a higher standard than other governments who do the exact same thing is... well that's not great, tbh. is hamas perfect? no ofc not. but just because they've done unfavorable things doesn't mean they should be condemned more than any other sort of government in the world who has done unfavorable things as well. either condemn them all or condemn none of them. and i lean on the side of "condemn them all", but currently i'm not focused on that. i'm not focused on hamas, i'm focused on saving palestine first. we can deal with hamas and dismantling the corruption within the entirety of palestine later, but we need to pay more attention to saving palestinian lives and dismantling israel as a genocidal illegal settler colonial state. our first priority is supporting groups and fighters who are challenging the illegal settler state, even when it includes hamas. if we take too much time "umm"-ing and "err"-ing over whether or not we should support hamas over one of their actions vs another, we're never going to get anywhere.

and honestly? you don't have to support hamas as a whole. many palestinians have controversial opinions over hamas. my parents hate them to bits but they still appreciate that they're fighting for us. i like them and support their goals to liberate palestine, but in general i don't care about or for them on anything else. palestinians have different opinions and that's totally fine. so it's okay if you don't support hamas as a group and as a whole because of it's policies or beliefs. as long as you are standing with palestine and standing with our freedom fighters, you're fine. no one is gonna judge you.

but i'd recommend to not focus on hamas or let people know your opinions about them, because that's not the priority. the priority is to free palestine. we need to stop talking about hamas so much and focus on helping those who are suffering. if we keep things focused on hamas, we are going to distract ourselves from our goals. israel WANTS you to keep talking about hamas. israel WANTS you to question their policies and actions. israel WANTS you to take time away from focusing on those in need to focus on something less important. that's why i hardly even talk about hamas on my blog. because it's not about hamas. it's about a free palestine.

i hope this helps. also, could you link me some of the info about hamas and the whole mosque thing?? or anything else you're not sure about? i'd like to read up on things like that, and make sure that isn't fake news or propaganda, because i personally have never heard of anything like that. thank you

[silverskull]

Chenford and The Rookie S6

This is a post where I vent my frustrations with The Rookie season 6 and the Chenford breakup. I will take questions, but I do not guarantee an answer. Retain the fact that this is a TV show I am mad at, not someone/thing in your personal life.

This month/few weeks haven't been great for me to absorb what happened in the last episodes of the season. Some of the reasons are listed below before I start sounding off.

-Unrelated but irritating:

Working 3 jobs, only 1 is paid. 

Crunch time at all 3 jobs

Visiting family expecting all of my time (same crunch weeks as work)

-Related and disappointing:

Cancelled cameo

Cancelled convention appearance

Sloppy SM and PR, frequently missing Melissa

Short S6

Late S7 renewal announcement

Delayed start S6 and extra-long hiatus before S7

Specifics:

Okay, so in 606 Tim lied - so did Lucy and Lopez. Why was there no IA investigation for them or concern about their honour? We were led to believe in 214 (Casualties) that everyone involved in an off-book mission could be compromised. So now why is the fact that Tim is lying more important than either woman compromising their career? Why is there no acknowledgement of THEIR discomfort? Lucy was already on shaky ground after he let her take the blame for SOME RANDOM SCENE COPS??!!? at the clown murder before her detective exam, but now I’m supposed to be worried about Sergeant Spotless-Record Bradford and his honour?! He could have just let that Ray guy go, or even fucking TOLD SOMEONE. He'd still have saved the Venezuelan, but it would have been above board.

And then, apparently the breakup happened over the aforementioned lying and Tim and Mark’s coverup of Ray’s misdeeds. We got no further clarification on this. And I really tried. I read deeply, DEEPLY into Tim’s reasoning (there are tumblr posts and twitter threads). I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I earnestly plead with people on twitter to give it time. But instead of that patience paying off, all we got was Tim trying to act normal, Lucy justifiably pissed, and generalised "things" opened up in (blackmail) therapy?

(Here’s where people have been coming at me too: I don’t really care about the therapy storyline. Honestly, if it’s not done well, I don’t know why we bother. I'm not out to get therapy, I just don't think it's working here. Just mention it and carry on like with Lucy after DOD, or show some scenes from the damn sessions. But turning the therapist into a blackmailer for Monica, who was selling to The Swiss?!?? or an Argentinian??? (I don’t even know and I do not care, and I will not listen if you try to explain, lalalalalala) How did we even end up here???)

And it PISSES ME OFF that we spent years building up the momentum for there to be turbulence in their relationship over Lucy going UC. We were ready. We were waiting. The traps were laid and baited. And they just went PSYCH! IT’S TIM’S ARMY DAYS THAT ARE THE PROBLEM, EVEN THOUGH WE LEAD YOU TO BELIEVE HE WAS WELL ADJUSTED BACK IN 214 WITH MITCH AND 311 WITH KATIE BARNES LOLOLOL

We have spent SO MUCH time on Tim's backstory. In fact, here's a list!

Isabel - wife -> ex-wife, UC drug addict, unfaithful

Tom Bradford - abusive father

Army - Let Mitch get his leg blown up; told Katie to let it go with a ladybird; unblemished record;

Cop Buddies - Wrigley -> lazy; Mack -> Addict;

Love Interests - Isabel, Rachel, Ashley

Family - Genny and Tyler (and some other nephew, and apparently a niece and a drunk uncle)

Here is what we know about Lucy:

Mother, Vanessa and father, Patrick, are psychologists and hard on Lucy

Mother had an affair with a patient (also named Patrick) who is Lucy's father, but - boo - he's dead. So is bff Jackson.

Aunt Amy and unseen Nana are nice.

Lucy's other love interests (206 ex, Emmet, Chris, TIMOTHY BRADFORD) have been assholes.

NOW WHOSE FECKIN BACKSTORY DO WE NEED TO SEE MORE OF???

(sorry to those of you who have heard all this from me before, I am literally typing my sporadic thoughts with you guys into longform)

Look, no doubt characters on this show need therapy, but if we’re just gonna make it a vehicle for some random side-characters to have an entire story arc, then WHY? And like, we were misled with the Bailan getting-pregnant storyline too, only to end back up where we started with fostering - because it’s only worth second place if your ovaries are geriatric. LIKE? SO. MANY. PROBLEMATICS.

It’s as if The Rookie plotters were given the outline to the exam questions… then tried to make the answers fit all the WRONG QUESTIONS (I may be speaking from experience). If the cards are laid out one way, don’t struggle to make a different answer fit. Just use what you’ve got, and use it wisely. Especially when it’s been working so well.

And another thing!!! Canon is not fiction - we all know that. We’ve all seen the ones who get carried away with fanon Chenford and ‘Lucy is vegan’-type imaginings that were never actually true. But saying if we don't like canon then we should just write or read fiction to deal with it is only serving to send people deeper into denial. There is a point where you are not crazy, and the writers did something stupid and you start understanding what ‘jumped the shark’ actually means.

Speaking of outdated TV lingo, I saw a really good tweet from Brian_Cronin :

TV showrunners accepting the "truism" that getting "will they/won't they?" characters together hurts the show, always citing Moonlighting, is because they like "rules" that remove their responsibility, as "Don't write the show poorly once they're together" puts the onus on them.

This goes for Chenford. No, Eric Winter. No, Alexi Hawley. We don’t need to see a breakup because it’s more like ‘reality’. Here’s a shocker: we come to watch a COP show, in this age of police brutality, global dictatorships, internationally ignored genocide, timelines full of dead babies and the constant looming threat of utter climate destruction to ESCAPE from reality. We are not watching a COP SHOW - A SHOW ABOUT ONE OF THE MOST VIOLENT, ABUSIVE POLICE FORCES IN THE WESTERN WORLD - for “reality”. Get your fucking head in the game. We supported you through pandemics and strikes, and you pull this season of SHIT on us.

I love all the characters, but I’m hooked for chenford. And I feel really badly treated.

If I was marking your exam, you’d get a failing grade.

“Started off well - linked UC storyline to previously-hinted relationship trauma. Dropped the plot entirely mid-way and brought in a host of unknowns. Tried to blame breakup on army issues previously marked as ‘resolved’, instead of UC drugs and unfaithful wife/abusive father? Reused names multiple times. Confusing and inconsistent. Fatally underused Chen character - inexplicably failing downwards, while Nolan character inexplicably promoted upwards. Use basic research next time."

[blues824]

Can you have the overblot boys to have a scarlet witch s/o? I haven't seen anyone does it yet. They can also defeat their overblot

Literally three requests for this, so I decided to get three birds with one stone (hehe like the Mind Stone lol). Targeted towards a female reader, but no gender-specific pronouns are used.

Spoilers for Malleus’s part.

Riddle Rosehearts

For the first few days in Twisted Wonderland, he saw how you stuck to yourself and Grim and how you avoided everyone. There really was nothing about you, so he couldn’t get to know you. However, one day the ADeuce duo was causing too much trouble and Ace in particular was trying to bother you so Riddle had beheaded them. You went out of your way to thank the Housewarden for saving you, and from then on you were kind of attached.

You, to pay your now-boyfriend back, once removed Ace’s mouth once you caught him talking trash about him. Of course, Deuce was freaked out that his peer’s mouth was now missing, but you honestly did the entire dorm a favor. IBUProfen finally lasted longer than normal because no one got a headache from Ace.

During his overblot, Riddle stood no chance against you. Your powers were too strong, and he was not expecting it. In class, you had only shown a tiny sliver of the true amount of power that you held, and thus you had the element of surprise. In the infirmary, you told him how you got your powers, and the story was just heartbreaking to hear.

Leona Kingscholar

When you stepped on his tail in the greenhouse, he was about ready to throw hands. However, he saw how absolutely terrified you looked and he felt bad out of nowhere. He was still pretty annoyed that his nap was disturbed, but he had a different priority: making sure that you were actually alright.

To learn more about you, he actually started going to classes actively. You weren’t a part of any club, and you were the Prefect to the Ramshackle Dormitory. Your ‘magic’ was very different, and he had no memory of ever hearing about a Scarlet Witch in Twisted Wonderland. In his training as a prince, he heard no tale about it.

During his overblot, he noticed how you were able to reconfigure the things he turned to dust, even if it was an actual person. Not only that, but you physically restrained him and entered his mind to make him relive his past. Being overlooked, but seeing how his nephew viewed him as the greatest ‘Unka’ ever. You even put in a message that he had done enough to prove himself, and his shoulders visibly relaxed. In the infirmary, he thanked you for helping him.

Azul Ashengrotto

Upon hearing that Ace, Deuce, and Grim had made a deal with a certain merman, you were understandably furious. However, you went to Azul and formally introduced yourself to him. By now, you were pretty confident with yourself, and so you demanded that the dumbass trio be let out of their contract. The cecaelia laughed as he explained that a deal was a deal.

However, you did not like that answer. So, you looked right into his eyes and entered his mind through your powers. In just a few seconds, he relived all of his childhood trauma, and tears were coming out of his eyes. You decided that you were done being nice, and left him to try and compose himself before the next customer came into the Lounge.

During his overblot, you proved yourself stronger than he could ever dream of being. You basically drained him of all the ink until he was in his ���pitiful’ (his words, not mine) mer-form. In the infirmary, you told him that you were sorry for putting him through such immense pain, and together you both came up with a better system for the Mostro Lounge. Thus, you both created the point system that is implemented now.

Kalim Al-Asim

You didn’t want too many people knowing about your power for fear of people taking advantage of your abilities, and thus when you were stuck in the Scarabia dorm during the break, you did not use your magic to break out. Plus, you could see that the students were truly suffering and thus looked into it. From the start, you knew that Kalim was being controlled by Jamil. It wasn’t hard to see, considering you were also well-versed in hypnosis. The Mind Stone can do that to a person.

Because you saw this, you tried to get the Housewarden alone to try and convince him that he was being mind-controlled by his Vice Housewarden, but to no avail. There was simply no way that his best friend would betray him like that, he said as he brushed your accusation off like it was a spot of dust on his cardigan.

During Jamil’s overblot, Kalim watched as you drained the ink from his friend as well as blocked off each attack put against you. You were the one who had also gotten them out of the desert before that, so yeah. Your magic was definitely surprising to him, as he realized that you could do multiple things at once.

Jamil Viper

He was aware that his hypnosis did not work on you, and that made him panic a bit. It was his best card in the hand that he was dealt; a King card, if you will. But in the game of War, you had an Ace in your hand and your power easily topped his. You both specialized in mind fuckery, so you both went toe to toe very often during the break.

Again, you were a bit more confident with yourself now that you knew how to use your powers for good things, so you once influenced one of the Vice Housewarden’s dreams. You made him picture his younger sister Najma, tearing up as she learned about the evil things that he had been doing during his time at Night Raven College. He woke up in a cold sweat, and a small sense of regret crept up in the back of his mind.

During his overblot, you basically flew everyone out of the desert and proceeded to beat his ass without giving him a chance to get back up. In the infirmary, you apologized for hurting him to that degree, but he understood why you had to do it. He did ask if you gave him the nightmare of his sister, and you admitted to it and as an extra apology, you told him about your twin, Pietro.

Vil Schoenheit

From what he had heard from Epel, you were incredibly powerful. He had to admit that he thought about employing you to deal with his rival, but it’s an urge somewhat akin to wanting to burn your house down after a spider that you just barely looked away from disappeared. Plus, he could get arrested, and he doesn’t think that orange would be the best color to go to prison in.

That aside, you had to admit that you were very intimidated by Vil. You may be physically more powerful than him, but he had public influence. However, he did see you and your powers during each of the overblots, and Epel as mentioned before has told him about you, so he was intrigued by you and your abilities.

During his overblot, he got a firsthand taste of the true power you held within you. The feeling of all the ink leaving his body was a weird feeling, but a peaceful one. You used your powers to make him conjure an image of his father reading him bedtime stories to make him relax which made the withdrawal of ink an easier process. When he was in the infirmary, he thanked you deeply for your actions.

Idia Shroud

He has seen you fight against the overblots, and he has to say that you remind him of a character from his favorite superhero franchise: Maroon Sorceress. He had noticed that your magic seemed to be focused on the mind instead of the body like the character, which he found fascinating.

However, he could never muster up the courage to talk to you. You treated Ortho so tenderly, like a parent, and it made his heart flutter. The one time he did meet you in person, he accidentally bumped into you and you made sure that he was alright. You both were kind of shy, but you could tell that he was flustered because of how pink his hair got.

During his overblot, he tried to modify his gear to withstand your magic, but it didn’t work. Your powers were more broad than just mind trickery, and thus he was screwed either way. You did make sure that you extracted the ink from the overblot before you started attacking, but it did take a while because he wouldn’t stop going after you over and over and over again.

Malleus Draconia

Alright, so, you were more powerful than the most powerful mage (and that is not Malleus). He didn’t think it was a matter to be concerned about until he saw how scared it made you. He particularly noticed it when you had to deal with Azul. You were scared that the merman would see your abilities and put you under a contract to extort you. He had to comfort you and confirm that if anything were to happen to you, he would be there to help.

Your walks with him in the moonlight did wonders to allow both of you to wind down from the responsibilities you have to face on a day-to-day basis. This was how Malleus had fallen deeply in love with you, and you with him. He was the Vision to your Wanda, so to speak.

During his overblot, you were deeply upset that he would try and put a sleeping curse on everyone. You had trouble trying to drain him of ink because he was a powerful mage himself, but you were the Scarlet Witch and thus you had the advantage. You distracted him with images of his childhood with Lilia tossing him gently into the air and smiling. In the infirmary, he apologized for everything, and you held his hands in yours as you stated that you understood his pain.