#honestly who could resist a guy who just likes cephalopods

[300-dismembered-exo-limbs]

Pahanin

inspiration

[a-mad-scientist-approaches]

Multiverse is a Curse Word (3)

Here it is, another chapter. I have about half of this fic already all written out, so updates will be pretty close together and regular for a while. 

Adeline Marks is @hntrgurl13‘s OC, and the Dimension Jumper and Drifting Dimensions AUs that are, I dunno, crossovers for this fic also belong to her.

The Adrift AU was made by @the-subpar-ghost, but the accompanying Drifting Stars fic is not the origin story for this one.

Addiford has, yet again, not arrived, but you might be able to see it as a speck in the distance now. The ship is from @scipunk63.

Gravity Falls is amazing, Alex Hirsch is a genius.

@deadpool-demon-diva and @thejesterlyfictionista, your contributions are the unfailing encouragement you give me.

AO3  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11

Chapter 3: Stanford Pines, Guardian of the Year

When Ford awoke, he was content. Not simply as the default state of waking up unhurt and momentarily safe, but really, truly happy. The last time he had felt so good he had had a home, a family, and a future.

He heard Mabel laugh and turned his head toward the sound. It filled him up with warmth and light.

She was sitting with her legs crossed on a recovery bed, talking animatedly to a green octopus-like person wearing a black medical band on one of their appendages. They had no visible mouth, but their voice emanated from somewhere under their main body, so Ford assumed they had a beak like many cephalopods on Earth. The room all three of them were in was unmistakeably a small hospital ward, with barely enough room for two patients. A two-way mirror encompassed one wall, the reflective side facing him and Mabel. This did not bother him as much as it normally would have.

“Wow, your tentacles are amazing! They’re so much handier than hands!”

The being chuckled and affectionately ruffled Mabel’s hair. “They’re pretty useful. I can do all sorts of things with them.” To prove their point, they curled three around to spell out “Kot.”

“That’s your name! Can you do mine?” The girl asked eagerly.

“Sure.” Five tentacles twirled around until “Mabel” was written out in neat cursive.

“That is the coolest thing I have ever seen in my entire life,” Mabel gasped enthusiastically.

“Hey, looks like my other patient is awake.” Kot noticed suddenly, moving over to Ford’s bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Placid,” he answered honestly. He wondered if it was normal that everything seemed slowed down, so much less urgent than before.

“That’s the sedative. It should wear off soon.” The doctor explained. Ford tried not to feel disappointed.

“While you were both out I vaccinated you against the virus you picked up; it’s particularly nasty, originally a bioweapon manufactured by Wikert Expansion Enterprises. Only their scientists know how to counteract it, so you are very lucky I defected, and even more lucky I was here when you arrived,” Kot stared meaningfully at Ford, but the impact of their words was lost on him. The most he could do was try to nod seriously.

“I also had to synthesise Mabel’s blood and perform a transfusion to keep it from advancing into the third stage. I assumed that would be okay as you do seem to care for her well-being, although this was a bit of a toss-up seeing as you tried to attack me when I was getting her help,” Again, the barbed comment did little to disrupt Ford’s complacency.

“A thank you would be nice,” Kot said sharply.

“Thank you,” Ford said, channelling as much gratitude as he could into the words.

“You’re welcome.” With that, the doctor spun around and headed through the exit. “Whenever you like, Mabel. Feel free to take your time.”

Mabel smiled her acknowledgement of the cryptic message and hopped off her bed to approach Ford.

“You look really happy.” she said conversationally. “It’s weird. Usually you’re a big frowny-face.”

Ford laughed. “I expect I’ll be back to being grumpy soon, never fear.” It was strange how soft everything felt. He stretched out a hand and tucked a lock of hair behind his niece’s ear. “That was clever thinking, with the resistance signal. I would not have remembered it, especially if I had been as sick as you. You’re a smart person, Mabel.”

When she beamed at the praise it was as though the Sun had come out.

“Friendship is the best weapon to fight with!” she said wisely. “Metaphorically, I mean. Literally, it’s probably those cannons we saw on Tetrax 4.”

Despite the sedative’s uncannily effective soothing power, the reality of how close they had both come to the doors of death was starting to sink in. Still not removing his hand from cupping the back of her head, Ford felt a surge of affection for his niece.

“Mabel, I love you so much, and I am so glad you’re safe,”

“Awww, I love you too,” she gave him a warm hug, grinning broadly. Ford was pretty sure she was laughing at his ridiculously lucid state, however this same state kept him from being bothered.

“The resistance people want to talk to you.” Mabel said, pulling back.

“Okay.” Ford nodded, sitting up.

“But you gotta promise you’re not gonna freak out and go all paranoid. Kot said they know that’s a running thing with you.” Mabel gave him a stern look. Bemused, Ford promised.

“YOU CAN COME IN NOW!” Mabel yelled at the two-way mirror.

The door swung open and Adeline Marks stepped through. The first thing she did was walk over and swat Ford’s shoulder.

⃝

Beyond the mirror was a small room with a station that monitored the health of the patients. This was where Adeline took him to berate him for running off and almost dying. By the time she had finished he was sure the sedative was wearing off, as he was no longer in as good a mood as previously. He wondered why she cared.

Adeline was not wearing her overcoat.

“Where’s your necklace?” He asked, tendrils of suspicion starting to creep back into his mind.

“I took it off so you wouldn’t get the wrong idea again,”

After a slight hesitation, she pulled it out of her pocket and handed it to him. It was a plain gold triangle, no decorations of any kind. Most significantly, it did not even have the barest hint of a circle in the middle to act as an eye. There was no way Cipher was watching through this.

“Alright,” he relented, giving it back. “I apologise. However, you can’t blame me for reacting the way I did. Why do you have something like that?”

“It’s the only thing I have left from home.” Adeline said simply. “I’ve had it for over thirty years, ever since I fell through the portal. I’m not giving it up now.”

Ford nodded in understanding. After a few quiet seconds, Adeline ventured, “So … when you built your portal, I wasn’t there?”

“No, only Fidds,” he winced.

“Did you come through on purpose?” It was impossible to miss the hopeless pleading in her question, the idea that there might be a way home hovering just out of reach.

“I’m sorry, no. It … was an accident,” That did not stop him from being angry.

As though she had read his thoughts, Adeline said sympathetically, “I was angry for a while too. Even though it was an accident, and I’d managed to tell you what Bill was planning, what was on the other side … I still wanted you to open that portal back up and come find me. Which was selfish, I know,” she sighed, “and I’m glad you didn’t. Fate of the world and all.”

Unsure how to respond, Ford kept quiet. Relative strangers unloading their issues onto him as though he was some interdimensional travelling therapist was not a frequent occurrence in his life.

They were shaken out of their thoughts by Mabel’s laugh from inside the recovery room. Kot was entertaining her with more tentacle tricks.

“Is she yours?” Adeline smiled, tilting her head towards the scene.

“No, no.” Ford said quickly. “My brother’s, sort of, I mean, she’s my great-niece.”

“Oh. Sorry. She’s a sweet kid. I was just wondering how she ended up out here,”

“Another accident with the portal,” Ford said darkly. “She doesn’t like to talk about it, but apparently something went wrong when Stanley, my other brother, turned it on trying to get me back. So, she ended up here – in this hellscape called the multiverse.”

Seemingly unperturbed by the grim atmosphere the room had adopted, Adeline nudged him light-heartedly.

“She’ll be fine. She has you to look out for her,”

“Well you’ve seen how good I’ve been at that: participated in morally questionable money-making scheme, attacked by gambler, infected with deadly bioweapon,” he checked off.

“Occupied the attention of said gambler so she could escape, leaped into action the second you thought you were no longer safe, had to be sedated before you stopped trying to protect her.” Adeline countered. “You deserve a ‘Guardian of the Year’ medal.”

He had to smile at that, and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. Ford had not really thought about it before, but it had been far longer than three decades since he had felt as though he was wanted around, much less needed. He’d missed that feeling.

Ford jerked his head up to look at Adeline in horror. Shit, I didn’t say that out loud did I?

Adeline was obviously biting back another smile.

“That sedative sure is strong, huh?” she suggested.

“Yes,” he said gratefully, clearing his throat and feeling the last of it trickle away. Even without it, he felt completely at ease in her company now.

⃝

Half an hour later, Addi decided to take them to the guy who ran the place. She watched happily as Stanford and Mabel walked with her through the structure, quite impressed. It was nothing special, other than its size - all grey concrete and rectangular corridors and square rooms – however, there was not a vast number of people situated there for a building of its enormity: only about a hundred. It seemed practically deserted.

“Is this some kind of castle?” asked Mabel in awe as Addi led them into a wide, open space. “I bet this was the throne room. Kinda bland though. I can see why the monarchy crumbled.”

“No, this was a military installation of a corporation called Wikert Expansion Enterprises. A resistance cell took it back a few years ago, and it’s become a headquarters for them,”

There were groups of chairs strewn around tables, several crates full of messes of machinery, and a couple huddles of people playing card games here and there.

“Quite the operation you have here,” Stanford said dryly, looking around at the absence of activity.

“Well it is only the afternoon. It’ll fill up later tonight.” The man looked at her. “Alright, not by much.” She admitted.

“Yeah Grunkle Ford, they’re all on secret missions to fight injustice! How can we help?” Mabel enthused.

“No.” Stanford said sharply. “We will not be getting involved with these people any more than we have to.”

“In that case, hopefully you will soon be on your way,” a new voice said.

Addi smiled at her friend, who shook hands with Stanford and Mabel. He looked like an upright polar bear, but with four arms and a face more human than snoutish. His appearance obviously delighted Mabel, who took the opportunity to stroke his fur during their handshake.

“Creepy.” He noted, slightly taken aback. “I am in charge of this resistance cell. My name is-” he made a growling, barking sound.

Stanford stared. Stanford looked at Addi expressionlessly.

“I call him Wesley,” she deadpanned.

“I do like that name.” Wesley nodded.

“Can I still call you-” Mabel replicated the sound exactly.

“You may,”

“Cool,”

Amazed at the girl’s vocal skills, Addi pulled out a chair at nearby table, gesturing for the others to join her.

“I of course have no wish to force you into our ranks. I know that not every resistance can be pleasant to get along with, as you have mentioned to Marks here. There are always a few that are keen to go to extremes,”

“Thank you for understanding.” Stanford said slowly. “I’m sure you have good intentions, but it’s not something I want to involve a child in.”

“Reasonable. We have room for you here, if you wish to stay – for however long you please. I will require a small favour in return, though.” Before Ford could reply, Wesley continued. “The technological floor of this building has many secrets that are sealed off from us. We have had some issues dismantling security protocols, and although Marks here has managed to get us most of the way, we seem to have hit a wall.”

“I mentioned that you’re a physicist, and you did a lot of coding in university.” Addi supplied, slightly apologetically. “I don’t know if you kept it up?”

“Yes, actually, I have a doctorate in it now,”

Stanford’s voice was casual, but Addi could practically see the smugness radiating from him.

Oh yes, I earnt a doctorate in technology and coding while travelling through dimensions, no biggie, in your face Fiddleford, I can fix my own computer now …

She had to fight to hold in her laughter.

“Grunkle Ford’s, like, the biggest nerd ever, even bigger than my brother, and that’s saying something let me tell you.” Mabel told Wesley earnestly. “Grunkle Ford, if you don’t unlock this resistance’s lab, your nerd card will be revoked. Revoked I say!”

“I’ll do my best,” Stanford half-laughed.

“That is all I can ask.” Said Wesley fairly. “The main system is right here …” he waved a hand and the table sprouted a hologram. Mabel whoooaaaaed at the sudden light show, and Stanford sat forward, examining the lines of code intently. After a moment he nodded and brought up a keyboard.

⃝

Mabel was starting to fidget. Addi watched as she swivelled around in her chair to look at the rest of the so-called “wreck-room”, then went back to staring at the colours in the hologram, then played with the edge of her uncle’s coat, then asked Wesley about his beaded necklace, then about the animal his boots were made of, and so on. To be honest, Adeline was getting bored too. Stanford clearly did not need any help.

“Hey Mabel, want to do something cool?” she asked impulsively.

“Do I?!” Mabel answered in relief. “Yes. Yes I do. Very much. Please.”

“Come on then.” Addi got up and nodded to a space a little way away.

“Stay close,” Stanford said absently, still absorbed in typing commands into the system.

When they got to the space she had indicated, Mabel asked eagerly, “So what are we doing?”

“Well, I thought you might want to learn some sword-fighting.” Addi grinned and drew Big Bertha. Its razor-sharp curved edge glinted, and an elliptical section cut out of it especially drew the eye. The girl was entranced.

“She’s beautiful …” breathed Mabel, eyes wide. “You’re like a pirate! Do you swashbuckle often?”

“Um … I wouldn’t know how to,”

“She looks sharp. Do you want me to hold her? I mean, sure, I could have some hidden sword-fighting ability we’re about to unlock-”

“No, no, let’s stick to the safer method.” Addi said hastily. “There’s a couple levers in that box behind you we’ll use. And it might be best if you take off your coat. You’re going to get pretty warm.”

⃝

“Nooooooo! You’ve defeated me! Curse your hour and a half of training!” Addi wasn’t quite sure when their lesson had evolved into a pirate-themed play-date, but she did not regret it.

“Arrrrrgh! I hereby claim your treasure and your ship, and cast your crewmates overboard to be eaten by sharks!”

“Dude,”

“Sorry. Nevermind! I cast your crewmates overboard onto dry land, where they can set up a nice restaurant and be forced to earn their booty through legal means!”

With that, Mabel flopped down on the ground beside Addi, both of them breathing hard. There had been some intensive play-acting.

Stanford and Wesley, who had left sometime previously, returned in triumph.

“Finished! There was a hidden firewall which activated some armed robots and almost set off an explosion, but I got to it in the nick of time. Anyway, how’d you two go?”

“Good. Addi taught me how to thrust, swing, block, and jump across pirate ships with a barrel of treasure in my arms,” recounted Mabel.

“She’s a natural, your niece.” Addi grinned up at Stanford. “Want some food?”

At their fervent replies, she motioned for Stanford to help her up.

“Cantina’s that way,” she said as he pulled her to her feet.

Another half hour later, Mabel finished her third bowl of soup and nudged Addi, who was sitting to her left on an extremely old couch. Stanford was on Mabel’s other side, warming his hands on a large can with a fire in it.

“Are they more resisters?” she was pointing at a group who had entered and were giving them curious looks.

“Yeah. Do me a favour and keep away from them. I’ll make sure they do the same for you,”

“Don’t you trust them? You’re involved with their movement,” Stanford frowned.

“I trust Wesley, and I think he has a good cause. But some of his methods can be questionable, and the people he gets involved … well, I don’t stick around for a reason. They’re … really not nice,” She had to keep herself from saying “fucking psychopaths” in the presence of a twelve-year-old. Fortunately, Stanford seemed to get the message.

“Mercenaries?” he switched to another language.

“Some,” she replied grimly.

“Hey! Include me,” demanded Mabel, nudging her uncle in his ribs. Her eyes widened as he jolted away, a small laugh escaping him.

“Are you ticklish?”

“… No,” the man said warily.

“Don’t listen to him Mabel, he’s the most ticklish person I’ve ever met.”

Before Stanford could open his mouth to form the word “traitor”, Mabel was on him, unleashing a battle cry of “I can’t believe I never knew!”

Addi covered her face with her hands, snorting at the panic emanating from the opposite end of the couch. After a few minutes of torture, Stanford managed to catch his niece’s hands amidst his involuntary spasming and restrain her enough to regain his breath and wipe his eyes clear of tears.

“I think I might have to get the security footage for this room.” Addi teased. “I’ll watch it whenever I’m sad and it’ll put me in a good mood for days.”

“Surrender!” cackled Mabel.

Stanford grinned and gave her a look. “You first,” was all the warning Mabel got before she was squealing and writhing around in turn, Stanford’s extra fingers doing a number on her.

“Help!” Mabel begged Addi.

“Uh, I’m sorry, a lack of treasure and pirate crewmates prevents me from performing any daring rescues,”

With that, Mabel was only released when she threatened to pee herself. Weakly, she retreated to the safety of Adeline’s end of the couch and sprawled across her, still gasping and giggling occasionally.

Definitely going to have to grab that security tape, Addi thought, wrapping an arm around the girl and laughing herself.

⃝

“You can stay in here tonight. All your equipment’s in the corner.” Addi directed as Mabel walked into the door-less room and collapsed on the bed. “You’ll have to share, sorry.”

“No, this is actually preferable.” Stanford said, glancing at the opening.

“All the old offices are like this.” Apologised Addi. “See you in the morning then.”

“Goodnight,”

She made it halfway down the corridor towards her own room before she heard the footsteps. Then she turned and hurried back the way she came.

Reaching her friends’ room, she seized the creature peering inside and shoved him against the opposite wall.

“Get. Away. From. Them,” she hissed.

“Aww, come on Marks, I just wanted a little look,”

“Well unfortunately you got it. Now scram!”

“But they’re humans! They only human I ever see around here is you, and you’re no fun anymore,” Dek wheedled.

Pushing down the sick feeling in her stomach, she sent his spindly form stumbling down the corridor with a well-aimed punch.

“I’m only going to tell you once: back off!” said Addi in a low voice. She reinforced the warning by flicking the switch on Big Bertha. The electric field it generated to disrupt and deflect lasers also worked as a deterrent against some species, thankfully. Snarling, he retreated, seeing that the only thing he would be getting for staying was trouble.

Adeline stationed herself outside Stanford and Mabel’s room.

Looks like another sleepless night on watch.

Regrettably, she doubted Dek was the worst visitor she would encounter that night.