#honestly since I am remembering more of the language the incantation i think needs to be redone

[heart-of-the-multiverse]

Fun fact this thought process was the EXACT reason I made the following spell when i was younger:

Spell name: essence of void

Incantation: Kurtrak Imploy (must speak kurtrak again to activate the magic once imbued unless they can route a connection to a triggering rune (advanced only))

Main magic type: darkness

Physical activation: caster must be touching the object they are imbueing with darkness energy (or if said object is the hand must be able to join their hands together for energy focus)

Spell effect: the caster imbues an object they touch with inactive darkness energy on a delayed activation. The energy will hold in this object until used up or runs out of darkness to fuel it (similar to a battery). Upon activation the imbued object will let out a burst of energy of pure darkness towards wherever it is pointed the shape of this wave of darkness depends on the obj4ct imbued

We’ve made flashlights but we haven’t made reverse flashlights

[hatchetfieldtheories]

Return to Hatchetfield-Town – The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals Part 1

Alright settle down kiddos. Get comfy, find a warm blanket and hug your favourite fwendy-wend as we start our Return to Hatchetfield-Town series.

I’ll be rewatching all the Hatchetfield scripted content (i.e. not livestreams or interviews) and jotting down what happens, explaining some concepts and delving into some of the key theories in the series (and using the word “implications” that often it will cease to have meaning).

Even though I’ll be doing the rewatch by show in order they came out, there will be spoilers for all Hatchetfield content that is available as of the rewatch.  

I’ve also linked to a number of other blog’s theories here because they are amazing, but if you aren’t happy with your theory being included I will be more than happy to remove it!  Just let me know.

[Part 2]

The Guy Who Really Hated Brigadoon

TGWDLM starts off with the greatest song ever to feature dancing zombies… at least I can’t think of any other notable ones.

In the title song, the cast of singing and dancing zombies explain to us that all great stories have to have a hero, someone who knows right and wrong and that the best way to do this is through singing and dancing in musicals.  This with the later line of “they evoke the philosophical” make me think that Pokey took a class in Campbell’s Hero Myth in College and became that guy.

Hatchetfield Challenge: try not to shrug your shoulders along with the music at the chorus. Its impossible. No wonder the Hive spread so quickly.  Literally killer dance moves.

So then they introduce us to an awful Grinch named Paul and we hit the first point in the show where I laugh out loud every single time I watch.

I know TGWDLM was not originally intended to be the first Hatchetfield show but starting this series with a song which sets up the story so well is truly spectacular.   And is there anything more Starkid than introducing your main character by having other characters sing about how awful they are?

One thing I have noticed while writing, reading and collating Hatchetfield theories is that while most Black Friday and Nightmare Time theories are usually about the overall Hatchetfield lore, most TGWDLM theories are usually quite self-contained and focused on this one show.  TGWDLM – while so fully within the Hatchetfield extended universe, is definitely the show that can best stand-alone without the others.

It’s the end of the world, Paul

If you don’t sing

This is the bridge, Paul

Where we globalize everything

And the words will come to you

We swear we will teach you

What it means to love

What it means to obey, Paul!

On a first watch this is very funny.  On your 10th watch this is terrifying.

CCRP Technical: No-one here knows how to use their printer

Following the absolute bop of a title song we find ourselves in CCRP Technical and all feels very… normal. It’s very weird following all the revelations in subsequent Hatchetfield media, to be watching a show where there was genuinely nothing obviously fishy about CCRP.  We’ll obviously discuss CCRP more when we get to Nightmare Time, but for now all we know is that Paul works in the technical department of CCRP – an unknown corporation, with some key characters, Charlotte, Bill and Ted.

We also find out more about Grinch Paul’s personality and honestly, Paul is me pre-pandemic just outright avoiding social interactions and suddenly going for coffee in the middle of the work day. (I have become a changed woman in lockdown – someone please invite me somewhere… anywhere!)

For all the dark humour and death in the Hatchetfield series, Starkid do know how to bring the joy – I love how excited the town of Hatchetfield are for a touring production of Mamma Mia.  

Fake Fact: TGWDLM is actually an allegory for Europe in the 1970s, when we all became mind-controlled by Abba’s Waterloo.  (Find me a better explanation for Eurovision, I dare you!  The sequins were just too shiny!)

“The idea of sitting there… trapped in a musical.  That is my own personal hell.”

Two words: Emma Perkins – need I explain any more?  

Ah Hot Chocolate Boy.  I really look forward to finding out more about him.  Where does he come from?  He just appears out of the ether. What’s his story?  How old is he? How many hot chocolates does he have per day? I know we have since had some confirmation on who he is, but they raise more questions than answers. For now I will just point you to a gorgeous Mood Board by @hatchetfieldmoodboards which features a bit of a spoiler. 

For real though – is it just me who would love a full version of “I’ve been brewing up your coffee”?

Hatchetfield Challenge: Try not to sing “Shut the f*ck up” along with Emma.

“Watching people sing and dance makes me very uncomfortable”- oh boy Paul… you’re not going to enjoy the next hour and 40 minutes.  Also, Paul, you’re making me uncomfortable watching you throw your brand new coffee around as if you’ve just been given an empty cup.  There’s imaginary coffee everywhere.  Hopefully, HCB won’t slip on it before it’s cleaned up… he’s already having a bad day.

“Thunder and Lightning… very very frightening.  But a big rock hurtling through the clouds is no biggie.” – all the residents of Hatchetfield apparently.

The next sequence happens so fast and we get introduced to a lot of characters.  Notably Greenpeace Girl, Alice and Deb, Sam, and Hidgens (though we don’t find out his name until much later). This scene impresses me because they do such a great job of very quickly bringing out so many characters who nonetheless are memorable when they return later in the show.

Peanuts the Hatchetfield Pocket Squirrel is an Eldritch Being. I won’t go into Peanuts theories here as that could be a whole post in itself – and many a person more brilliant than I have written some fantastic theories on this. You can learn all about how a Squirrel took over the fandom in the following posts:

@dahlialupine : x

@frombothofmyhearts​: x

@abiimaryy​: x

And finally mine which is definitely a serious theory: x

It’s… A… Musical!

Now to remember we are actually watching a musical.  La Dee Da Da Day is such a happy joyful song performed spectacularly by a throng of the undead.

The song is about the Hive singing about how much of a great time they are having now they are tap-dancing zombies, and trying to find ways to convince Paul he should join them too. So the grins on all their faces are not at all terrifying.

 It’s worth noting also that according to the laws of the TGWDLM world, only those infected by the Hive can hear the music in the background.  This becomes important later when it becomes clear some characters have started being infected before they are fully turned into zombies, but for now it just paints quite a funny picture of what Paul must be witnessing. I definitely think for him, this whole scene just sounds like this clip of Greased Lightning without the music: x

The important thing here however, besides Mariah’s singing, is that the Hive leave Paul alone.  They don’t actually attempt to turn him at this point.  I have a theory on the implications of this, but note this has big spoilers for the end of the show and Black Friday.  It was written before we knew that the Hive (Pokey) was related to Wiggly but the content still stands: x

Charlotte, Honey, you don’t need that much sugar – you’re sweet enough

For reference:

@melchron​  noted that the lyrics for La Dee Dah sound very similar to the incantation for soul transferal read out in Jane’s a Car, which leads me to two possible implications.

The Freaky Furbies have a language other than English that they use for their incantations so this is why they sound similar.

There is soul transference happening to the souls of the bodies the Hive take over.

Or it’s just Starkid using similar sounding words for their content…. Three! There are three possible implications…

Paul – just print off another copy of the report

From this point on the musical numbers really do come thick and fast.  We move on to the first instance of Jeff Blim encouraging Paul to talk about his feelings, which I am sure is not important and isn’t worth discussing.  Paul goes through a musical rendition of a promotion interview, which is actually the Hive attempting to find out if he will be the “hero” of their story.  They picked out Paul for the role from the start. That he was chosen was inevitable.

What do you see for this company? I'm looking for someone with strong ambition Someone to sell their specific vision Someone to share with precise precision their thoughts 'Cause I want you to want…To want

So it turns out these will be looooong, so I will end here and see you in part 2!  I’m not sure yet what the upload frequency will be.  It takes quite a while to go through the show like this but it is a lot of fun!

Hatchetfield High Homework:

Where do you stand on the Peanuts the Hatchetfield Pocket Squirrel debate?

Why do you think that the Soul Transference Spell and La Dee Dah sound so similar?

Go follow all the lovely people mentioned in this post!

Bonus points if you know the reference in the post title.

[Part 2]

[stardust-22]

WHAT IF THIS HAPPENED (AU) CH.2/?

A/N: Hey y’all! I told ya I would delivered on this lol. Also thank you for all the kind comments and messages towards this fic. I honestly wasn’t sure how would everyone react but so far, it’s good so I’m happy! Without further ado, here's the next chapter :) 

SUMMARY: After Sabrina accepted Caliban's proposal, they both went to Harvey's to check out the situation on Roz and something happens.

CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 3 | CHAPTER 4 | CHAPTER 5 |

CHAPTER 6 PART 1| CHAPTER 6 PART 2|

CHAPTER 2: THE PLAN

SABRINA POV

After accepting Caliban’s proposal, we left the academy and headed back to Harvey’s to tell them about the spell. We finally reached the garage and as I pushed open the door, I saw Harvey on the floor.

“Oh no. Oh, Harvey.” I said upset.

“Roz, broke. I don’t know what happened. I left for fifteen minutes and came back and she was, like this.” He said, panicked.

Caliban was surveying the scene before him as I was thinking up a solution to calm Harvey down about Roz.

“Caliban. Does this mean she’s?” I asked scarcely and troubled.

“Dead, no. She needs to be put back together that’s all.” Caliban reassured me.

“She’s in all these pieces.” Harvey still in shocked over what had happened to Roz.

Caliban took them in stride and confidently told Harvey, “We’ll gather and arrange them according to her shape. Make sure none of her bits are missing.”

As Caliban was explaining that to us, I still felt numb and had to look away.

“There’s a special proxy that I need to prepare and then I will be right back.” Then Caliban had fire circled around and teleported out of there.

Leave it to this guy, leaving with a bang.

Harvey closed his eyes and looked away from the bright light of fire that were hurting his eyes.

------ transition to next scene ---------

Me and Harvey were able to gather up all the pieces of Roz and set them on the table. Before Caliban came back, Harvey checked every nook and cranny in that garage in search of Roz’s body parts that might be lying around. Thankfully, we were able to find every last one of them.

Suddenly a swirl of fire started to appear and revealed it to be Caliban. He walked towards the end of the table, to where I was at. I had my arms crossed as I was surveying the scene before me.

“Is that every piece of her?” Caliban questioned us, mostly Harvey.

Harvey leaned over towards Roz’ head and said, “Yeah, we checked everywhere.”

“Well, what do we do now? Glue her back together?” Turning my face towards Caliban, waiting for his answer. He was cracking his knuckles, avoiding my gaze and was looking at Harvey instead.

“The Pygmalion Spell will be most effective, where you and your beloved’s first kiss. Do you remember where that was?” Caliban asked Harvey as he was clasping his hands together.

My patience was wearing thin and I had to close my eyes to try and calmed down.

“Yeah, of course. It was at school, the night of the valentine’s dance.” Harvey replied.

“Is it close?” Caliban asked glancing towards Sabrina.

“Let’s take her there then. We’ll apply the proxy and then make your offering.”

Afterwards, Theo and Robin showed up to the garage and asked if they could helped move Roz with them to the school.

We all placed Roz on the school bench and I put her clothes on top of her as well.

“When she comes back to life, she won’t be scarred? Will she?” asked a concerned Harvey to Caliban.

“She will not.” Caliban replied.

Theo and Robin were at the back looking on what’s happening in front of them. Caliban was on right side of Roz, while Sabrina and Harvey were at her left.

“Well that’s a relief. What happens now?” I’m so glad that Roz will be okay. Unbeknownst to myself, Caliban was staring right at me as he started to explain the spell.

I felt an intense stare towards me and when I looked up, it was Caliban. I noticed that when he looks at me, his stare and body start to soften up. But when he’s not, he goes back to his ‘cool look.’

“You say the spell, but first you make your offering.” Caliban’s stance looked relaxed but serious. His hair was in a disarray and I can see the outline of his chest due to his shirt being tucked in. I think he was curious but stunned with the situation that we’re having. Maybe marrying him won’t be such a bad idea.

“To whom?” I asked him.

“Aphrodite or Eros.”

“What am I offering?” Harvey still confused.

“Your love for Rosalind. Give it up and she will restore to flesh” Caliban said point blankly.

“Give it up? What are you talking about?” Harvey felt tension in his tone, in shocked on what Caliban explained to him.

“Aphrodite is the goddess of love. She’ll grant your wish and demands your heart’s desire, Rosalind. Vow to forsake your truest love then to complete the spell, kiss her.”

Everyone felt tension and eerie feelings around them.

Caliban continued, “She’ll return to flesh once more. But if you betrayed your vow and if you ever kissed her again, she’ll return to stone and remain that way until the end of days.” After he told us that, I could not really believe it. But the tone of his voice was telling the truth and there was a hint of sadness in his voice or indifference. But there must be something we could do.

Not really believing him, I argued to Caliban, “Wait, no. There has to be some kind of offering!” Is this guy insane? There has to be a better way than what he suggested. This is Roz, we’re talking about and she’s one of my best friends. I can’t let this happen to her, no way in heaven.

“There is none. That is the price. Love for life.” He said adamantly to everyone.

Harvey is still reeling in the information while I stood stunned.

“I’ll do it.” Harvey started to walk to where Roz was.

“Say the words to Aphrodite and give her a kiss.” He said to Harvey and gave the spell for him to recite.

Harvey kneeled on the ground. “Roz. If you can hear me, I love you. Please understand that I had to do it.”

INCANTATION:

Aphrodite, fair and mighty

Take this form of flesh and stone

Turn her back to flesh and bone

As Harvey recited the spell, Caliban was glancing at Sabrina intently.

As below, so above

I yield to you, my truest love.

Harvey then gave a kiss to Roz and suddenly eerie music started to float away in the background. Which usually means, something’s wrong here.

Harvey confused and slightly angered, “Nothing happened.”

“Caliban?” I questioned him since something obviously should have changed.

“His offering was rejected.” He stated calmly.

“What does that mean? Why?” as Harvey was raising his voice at Caliban.

“He must not truly love her.” He said with a hint of mockery towards Harvey.

Harvey yelled at Caliban, “That’s bullshit.” As he got up and went up in front of him.

Caliban also raised his voice, stating the truth “Aphrodite would only accept your heart’s true desire. That must not be Rosalind. Must be something else or someone else.” With a teasing/suspicious tone in his voice, doubting Harvey.  

“Shut the hell up!” Harvey enraged & humiliated, yelled at Caliban and grabbed his shoulders then pushed him against the lockers;

“Hey!” I yelled at them and saw that Caliban was smirking at Harvey, trying to get an even more rise out of him. Caliban, once we’re alone we are so going to have a long talk mister.

“What do you know? You and your bullshit spell. How do we even know if any of it, is real?!” Harvey exclaimed. Caliban then pushed Harvey grip away from his shirt.

“Why would I lie?” Then out of nowhere, Harvey punched Caliban in the face.

“Harvey stop it! Caliban, stop!” Trying to get these two to step away from each other.

Caliban touched his mouth then went up against Harvey’s face and said, “Strike me again mortal. I’ll grind every bone in your body to sand.” He threatened with an evil smile.

Before this turned into WWE, I finally got between both Caliban and Harvey. I was glancing at Theo and Robin when I didn’t realize how close I was to Caliban. While I was pushing Harvey away from Caliban, I’m surprised he kept his arms to himself. As I was leaning more towards his chest, I can feel his muscles prominently there.

‘Get a grip Spellman, it’s not time to muse over Caliban right now when your ex-boyfriend is trying to attack the guy.’ I thought as I try to shake these thoughts away from me.

I felt Caliban smile/smirk due to my body language towards him and before he can retort anything.

I was pushing Harvey again as he threatened with, “I’m going to kick your ass.”

“Harvey! Please calm down.” I told him in a soothing voice as I step back towards Caliban more.

After Harvey finally let down his anger and guard, I told him that me and Caliban needed to head back to the academy to ask Ambrose for help.

A/N: Idk how I was able to write everything in 3 hours and also had some edit along the way. Also I would love to thank @elizaglad and @totalfictionprincess for being my betas and honestly wouldn't have done this without them! :')

Leave me a comment/like and tell me what you think!

[thunder-the-ranger-wolf]

Possible Excerpt from Had Enough: The Dreamsight Remix

Summary, the tag to follow

The rest of the summer went rather normally. A month passed rather quickly when you were waiting for something, but the Alfers did their best to make sure Harry wasn’t too worried about it. Harry read all of his school books almost immediately, knowing that he would forget half of what was in here despite the notes he took. He found three snakes in the backyard and hissed at them. One reared back like he’d insulted their mother and when they hissed at him in response, Harry heard human words.

Insssolent Ssspeaker!

Have you no heart?!

To think, the onesss you live with are decent sssort!

Harry apologized in English and asked what he said. It turns out he’d cursed their nest to be full of bees. Harry wouldn’t really wish that on anyone, and he told them so. They wiggled their heads and Harry got the feeling they would be rolling their eyes if they could.

When he was too anxious for skateboarding or even eating, the Alfers quizzed him by turning to a random page from History of Magic or One Thousand Magical Herbs and asked a question. Slowly but surely, he started getting things right.

The day came, September First, and Harry was up before the sun. He’d been setting his alarm for 4:30 am every day for the last month because he’d gotten up at five in his dreams. Since the train left at eleven and it took three hours to get to London, four-thirty seemed like a good time to be up and moving. He got up, pulled on the first outfit that his hands touched, and opened his trunk, starting to go through all the books he’d packed over a week ago.

“G’to bed, Wolf.” Jaime grumbled from a corner of Harry’s room.

Right, right, he’d slept in Harry’s room because they were up late talking about all the ways he could mess up his first day. “Is too early.”

“C’mon, Jaime, you need to get ready too. It’s an hour to London.”

“I’ve been to Mum’s job before, we know when to leave. You’ve got at least another half an hour before they’re up and an hour or so before we leave.”

“And you’re not ready to go. Come on, Jaime, I can’t be late or the train will leave without me!”

“Somehow, I doubt the staff at Hogwash would let their students play hooky.” Jaime yawned. “But you’re such an anxious little shit that I suppose.” You know the train leaves at eleven, right? We’d get there on time even if we left at seven, like Mum does for work.”

Mrs. Alfers started work at nine, so Harry could see why Jaime thought this was too early to be up.

“Help me drag all this downstairs.”

“Tap it with your wand and say ‘gravitas amisi.���” Jaime mumbled sleepily. “Roughly translates to ‘lighten from gravity’ or ‘lose weight’ or something like that.”

Harry did as he said and lifted the trunk. It came up easily in his hands and he thanked Jaime. Latin would be a bit hard to learn, but Harry would figure something out.

Harry took his trunk downstairs and set it by the door. Inside were books, clothes, robes, and a few knick-knacks from the Alfers to remember them by. When he got back upstairs, Jaime was in his own room and looked like he was getting ready to go.

“If we wake up mum and dad right now, they’ll growl at us and turn over, so let’s give it another hour. We can practice our Latin in the meantime.”

Practicing Latin was Harry’s idea, although Jaime was picking it up faster than Harry was. Harry figured that since the incantations being used at Hogwarts were derived from ancient languages, he might as well learn the basics. Action words, like Lift or Forward, would hopefully come through for him in the Magical World.

Two hours later, the Alfers came downstairs to find Harry and Jaime tripping over words in Latin. Harry’s wand was in Jaime’s hands, where it would do no magic. He’d been told about not using magic in the presence of those without, and that likely meant the Alfers couldn’t see even if they already knew about it. Harry would have to ask if they were an exception since Harry was technically Assiduan-born and they knew everything else that he knew.

“Early start, you two?” Jack laughed quietly at the boys’ solemn expressions and the fact that Jaime waved the wand every time Harry spoke.

“Wolf, here, woke up at four-thirty in the godsforsaken morning, Dad!”

“Really?” Amelia snickered. “I can imagine how that went since you’re both here. Whatever are you doing right now, children?”

“Chanting.” Jaime and Harry said at the same time.

“Well, let’s get Wolf’s things in the car and you can continue your, um, chanting on the way to the train.”

The ride took almost two hours and when the Alfers got there, they weren’t sure what to do or where to go next.

“Platform nine and platform ten but the ticket says nine-and-three-quarters…” Jack drifted off, annoyed. “Maybe it’s further underground?”

“I don’t think there is a platform nine-and-three-quarters in the real world, Jack.” Harry offered nervously. “They use whole numbers to mark each station. There must be a portal or something. Something we wouldn’t be able to see at first.”

“You go through that column there, Harry.” Someone informed the Alfers from behind them. Harry whirled around and found himself looking at a family of redheads.

“How do you know his name?” Jaime demanded sharply.

“Arthur and I… we knew his parents rather well before they died.” The woman offered vaguely, stepping forward. “Molly Weasley. I suppose you all are the family he ended up with? I don’t know how it happened, and I honestly never thought I’d see you again, but I’m just so glad you’re alright, Harry.” She blurted out, dragging him into a hug.

“Wolf.” Harry said at last. “I go by Wolf. It’s good to meet you, Mrs. Weasley. These are the Alfers. Yes, I live with them. We live near what’s left of my mother’s family.”

“Lily didn’t often talk about her sister. Are they good to you?”

“Very good.” Harry said, not really meaning the Dursleys. Mrs. Alfers placed a hand on his shoulder and when he looked up, she had a knowing look on her face.

“All’s well that ends well, I suppose.” Molly Weasley murmured. Harry shook his head. That didn’t excuse ten years of emotional abuse and neglect. Just because no one else was around for it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, and he couldn’t let Dumbledore or anyone else who was in on this wash it away just because dream-Harry turned out to be the hero they needed.

“The place is packed with Assiduans like yourselves, of course-.” Amelia cut Molly off.

“I think it’s rather strange that they allowed an entrance to the Magical World to be so visible.” She mused.

“They make for a good cover, dear. It would look rather strange, people disappearing into a column. The magic around this entrance redirects Assiduan attention, so while they might see us coming in, anyone who goes looking won’t know what for.”

“Does that include us?”

“It might, since you are Assiduans, but you know about Magic so I guess we’ll have to see. Percy, dear, you go first.”

Harry watched Percy stride up to the column with his things and disappear. The portal didn’t so much as ripple, which might make this a bit more difficult to take in. How could he run at something so solid that it looked ready to crash into? How did Percy, and now Fred and next George, disappear without leaving so much as a shoe?

“If you’d like, we could go last, just to be sure you all make it.” Molly offered, pointing to herself and her remaining two children.

“That would be nice,” Jack said before anyone else could respond. “I meant to ask, can Assiduans get on to the platform?”

“Since you know about magic and were made aware of the platform, yes. It happens every year with Assiduan-born students.”

Feeling a bit better about the fact that Amelia, Jack, and Jaime could experience this, Harry pushed his trunk a couple of feet away and swung it around so it faced the column. Then he ran at it for all it was worth, closing his eyes right before he was supposed to crash-.

Only to be pushed further into something and wobble slightly.

When he opened his eyes, the place before him was just like in the dream.

A scarlet steam engine waited next to a platform packed with people. A sign overhead said Hogwarts Express, 11 o’clock. Behind him was a wrought-iron archway where the ticket box had been with the words Platform Nine and Three Quarters on it. Smoke from the engine drifted over the heads of the chattering crowd, while cats of every color wound here and there between their legs. Owls hooted to each other in a disgruntled sort of way over the babble and the scraping of heavy trunks. The first few carriages were already packed with students, some hanging out of the window to talk to their families and others fighting over seats. Harry pushed his trunk to the side of the gate and waited for the Alfers and the remaining Weasleys to arrive.

“Whoa.” He heard Jaime say beside him. “Guess it’s not just the elves who have style.”

He glanced up to find that Jaime had come through after him. Then Amelia, then Jack, then the boy IHarry knew to be Ron Weasley, then Mrs. Weasley with Ginny.

“This is amazing.” Jack breathed. Amelia came over to Harry and snagged the other end of the trunk.

“Let’s go find you a seat on the train, shall we?” She prompted.

“Sure,” Harry said, looking to Ron and Mrs. Weasley. “Would you like to come with us or are you going to find the rest of your family?”

“That’s very nice of you to ask, Harry, but I do need to catch up to the boys. Maybe one of them will find you later on the train.”

“Maybe.” Harry offered, hoping his tone was friendly. “Oh, before I forget, Jaime and I figured out a way to lighten the weight of my trunk! Did you know people could do that?”

“There are a few lightening charms. Some of them are based on the mass of an object.” Mrs. Weasley offered. “Which one do you know?”

“Amiss gravitate, I think.”

“Gravitas amisi.” Jaime corrected.

“Oh, that sounds like it’ll work on anything. I’ll give it a try and see what the boys say. Thank you for sharing that, Harry.”

He thought it was weird that there were multiple ways to get the same result when it came to magic, but it might be more like an art than math. Different languages might mean different spells depending on the words used, regardless of the intention of the spell. He’ll have to see what teachers thought. Maybe McGonagall or Flitwick knew something about that.

The Alfers followed him through the crowd, down the train to the very end. Harry pointed out an empty compartment and Jaime helped him shove the thankfully light trunk into the compartment.

“This is super bulky.” He grumbled.

“At least it’s not heavy.” Jaime offered.

The Alfers waited beside the train as Harry and Jaime tucked the trunk into a corner of the compartment, then we got back off and he flung himself at them both.

“Thank you for helping me so much these past months. I really appreciate all the stuff you’ve done for me.”

“And we’d do it again, Wolf.” Amelia insisted. “You let us know if anyone tries to bother you at that fancy place. We’ll set them straight in a heartbeat.”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine, Mel.” Harry snickered. “But I’ll write a lot.”

“Good.” Jack said. “Now, check your pockets and that bag of yours. Got your wand?”

“Yes.”

“Glasses strapped on right?”

Harry felt around the back of his head for the goggle-like strap that held his glasses to his face.

“Yes.”

“Gringotts pouch?”

He checked the blue carry-on he decided to take. The small brown drawstring pouch was embroidered with a large ornate G and beside it were copies of the ledgers he’d sworn to read-through.

He took out the pouch and swiped the key around his neck across it.

“Five Galleons,” Harry said. When he shook the back a few seconds later, it jingled.

“Yes.”

“Got all your trinkets in there?”

He rifled through the bag and nodded.

“And the books you’re going to get through in likely two minutes?” Jaime drawled.

“I’m not that fast a reader, you prat!” Harry crowed. “But yes.”

“Skateboard?”

“Definitely. I can’t believe you gave me your old one just so I could take it to Hogwarts.”

“Well, the bike was out of the question so you’ve got to have something fun to do out there.”

“I’m still not sure it’s a good idea, but I guess it’s too late now.” Amelia snorted. “Got your other glasses?”

“Yep.” He’d seen them when he went looking for the knick-knacks.

“Alright, kiddo.” Amelia sighed. “You be good. Write often, try not to stomp on too many sensibilities.”

“No promises, but I can try.” He chirped. “Thanks for getting me here, guys. Get home safe.”

“We’ll write to you as soon as we do.”

In the months after the trip to Diagon Alley, Harry had written to Pallford asking if there was a way to send messages like the bags they gave out for coins. He pointed Harry to the post office on a street perpendicular to Diagon Alley called Angul Alley. Harry purchased two sets of bags that could send messages to each other. He kept two for himself and gave the other two to the Alfers. It would only be used when they needed the other to know something and an owl would take too long. Otherwise, they would expect the school’s owls.

They finally let Harry get onto the train and eventually they left. He went through his carry-on and found the notebook he’d taken to writing about the dreams in. He’s met the elves at Gringotts, he got a wand, he’d met Professor McGonagall later on in the dream than he did here. He had yet to meet Hagrid. The Dursleys didn’t need to be scared out of their house by owls dropping off letters, though they might have been anyway. He got his letter without any trouble.

The door to the compartment slid open and Harry glanced up to see Ron Weasley looming in the doorway.

“Anyone sitting there?” He asked, pointing at the seat opposite. “Everywhere else is full.”

Harry gestured to it and Ron flopped down. He glanced at Harry and then stared out the window, pretending he hadn’t.

The compartment door opened again.

“Hey Ron,” Fred Weasley said. “We’re going to the middle of the train to see Lee Jordan’s pet.”

“Right,” Ron mumbled.

“Harry, was it? We didn’t get a chance to introduce ourselves. I’m Fred, that’s George, and the youngest brother Ron’s sitting next to you. Catch you later.”

“Bye.” Harry and Ron chorused. The twins left and George was the one to close the compartment door this time.

“So, Harry, was it?” Ron prompted. “My mom said she and Dad knew your parents. Who were they?”

“Not the Alfers. I’m adopted.” Harry deadpanned.

“Did you know your birth parents at all?”

“Nope.”

“Oh,” Ron said quietly. “I can’t imagine not knowing my mom and dad.”

“The Alfers are nice enough,” Harry said. “What about your family? You’re obviously not adopted, but are they all Magicians?”

“Pretty sure. Mum’s got a second cousin who’s an accountant, but we don’t talk about him.”

“Because he’s a distant relative or because he’s got no magic?” Harry wondered.

“Uh, both, I guess. We’ve got a pretty full house. So other relatives don’t really come up in conversation or even visit that often unless something big happens.”

“Yeah, three brothers and a sister must be a lot.”

“Five.” Ron corrected glumly. “I’m the sixth in our family to go to Hogwarts. You could say I’ve got a lot to live up to. Bill and Charlie are done with school. Bill was Head Boy and Charlie was captain of Quidditch. Now Percy’s a Prefect. Fred and George mess around a lot, but they still get really good marks and everyone thinks they’re really funny. Everyone expects me to do as well as the others, but if I do, it’s no big deal, because they did it first. You never get anything new, either, with five brothers. I’ve got Bill’s old robes, Charlie’s old wand, and Percy’s old rat.”

Harry definitely knew what that felt like.

Ron reached inside his jacket and pulled out a snoozing fat grey rat.

“His name’s Scabbers and he’s useless, hardly ever wakes up. Percy got an owl from my dad for being made a Prefect, but they couldn’t aff– I mean, I got Scabbers instead.”

“You ever get that thing checked out?” Harry asked through gritted teeth, trying his best not to scream.

This was Peter Pettigrew. This was the shapeshifter that got Lily and James Potter killed. Harry could take the rat and squish its head in if he stepped on it hard enough.

“Couldn’t afford the bills,” Ron admitted soberly. “besides, he’s alright. And it’s not like he’s sick or anything.”

“Missing a claw. An entire finger looks like.” Harry ground out. “Maybe you could take him to Madam Pomfrey when we get there.”

“Maybe.” Ron offered.

They sat in silence for a while. Occasionally Harry glanced up to enjoy the scenery but mostly he wrote down his favorite parts of the dreams he had and tried not to focus on how fast the train must be going.

[thefatfeministwitch]

Happy Halloween friends! Are you excited? I am! This is my most favourite holiday of the year!  It’s a time of magick and mystery and monsters. It’s a time when anyone can be whomever or whatever they want and embrace that identity for one incredible night. Plus… candy.

Last year for Halloween I talked about some of the witchy myths and pop culture legends that contribute to the image of the Halloween Witch – like black hats and eye of newt and flying broomsticks. This year I thought it would be fun to look at another type of magick that’s contributed to the modern witch or magickal practitioner – Mediums and Spiritualists. Not every spooky woman throughout history donned the black hat and lived ina  cottage in the woods, some were highly educated European and American aristocrats who conducted séances in their extravagant salons for the likes of Arthur Conan Doyle and Abraham Lincoln. These days it’s common for those who practice witchcraft to also be psychics or mediums who can communicate with the dead, and vice versa, but this wasn’t always the case.

Spiritualism, and it’s younger and more open minded cousin Spiritism, was a popular Victorian religion that emphasized the beliefs in ghosts and spirits, and that it was possible to communicate with the spirits in the afterlife. Spiritualists believed, like many modern new age practitioners, that the spirit world is all around us, and that some spirits and ghosts become spirit guides and can offer wisdom from beyond the grave. Spiritism included the belief in reincarnation, and is still popular in Europe and south America.

Lots of spiritualists, as well as mediums and psychics, were women who still didn’t quite fit the image society has drawn up for them to live by. Many supported the abolition of slavery and women’s suffrage, many remained unmarried or were “promiscuous” throughout their lifetime, and of course many were vilified and accused of fraud until official organizations were put in place to give them credibility. Many which were funded and began by men.

That’s not to say that they were all real! Many of them were frauds and snake oil salesmen, of course. Every generation of magickal cultures have their Miss Cleo. In fact Harry Houdini was one of the most famous people to accuse mediums and psychics of being fraudulent – but only because he was a true believer. After the death of his beloved mother, Houdini sought to communicate with her after death through popular mediums and spiritualists, and being trained in stage magic, he was able to catch things the average person couldn’t. From that point he made it his mission to expose the frauds, but was hopeful that communication between the dead and living was possible. Him and his wife, Bess, created a secret code that he would use to communicate with her after he died, and she held yearly séances for 10 years. When she finally blew out the candle that had been burning next to his photograph since he died, Bess is reputed to have said “10 years is long enough to wait for any man”. I respect that.

In my lifetime, the image of the séance shifted from the dimly lit elegant salons full of fainting women in corsets, to teenagers at a sleepover with a mass produced cardboard slab calling for ghosts to visit. Spiritualism and the idea that ghosts have something to offer and teach us, the living, is an idea we just can’t shake. Especially around Halloween when the veil between the worlds is said to be thin and the spirits of the dead are permitted a visit home.

First, Let’s be clear, spirit boards or Ouija boards – it’s a board game folks. You don’t need to be afraid, you don’t need to burn it or keep it under lock and key, and they don’t open some sort of weird portal in your home. They work much like tarot cards or pendulums, and you can even use your pendulum rather than the planchette provided. The board is really just a fun way for those who don’t have the psychic abilities to speak with spirits or ghosts or ancestors. So don’t freak out! I have a Ouija board in my home that some douche paranormal investigator retrieved from a supposedly haunted house and I love it. It’s from the 1980s and hella cheap and nothing about it makes me nervous or scared at all.

If you’re not familiar with psychic or paranormal phenomena, A séance is just a gathering of people who’ve come together to reach out to ghosts or spirits on the otherside. This is usually either facilitated by someone in the know like a medium or psychic, or with a Ouija board or pendulum or other divination tools.

Mediumship is a particular type of psychic ability that allows a person to actually communicate with spirits or ghosts who are not only walking the earth among us, but who have reached other areas of the afterlife. The other forms of psychic gifts supposed allow those with those gifts to either see, smell, feel, or hear spirits and ghosts who are earthbound – you know, just chillin. They might not have “passed on” or gong into the light or whatever for whatever reason. Some are here to keep watch over or guide the living, again for various reasons. According to my favourite medium, Allison, some spirits who have passed on also pay visits here to us.

A séance lead by an experienced medium is no doubt your best bet to having a really enlightening, not to mention spiritually safe, experience. But it’s not necessary, especially around Halloween. Here are a few tips to having your own séance or reaching out to your own spirit guides or ancestors.

🔮 Tip 1: Take it seriously but not too seriously. Like I said, don’t burn your beloved Ouija board after you use it or anything, but also don’t make fun of the process. Spirits and ghosts are being or even people just like you, and they deserve to be treated with respect. Treat the process with respect or reverence, but don’t be afraid to smile or crack a joke. If your great uncle irving was the practical jokester in your family and kept a rubber chicken in his pocket, he’s no doubt going be the same in death. Have a little fun!

🔮 Tip 2: Be wary of who you invite to your séance. I’m honestly more nervous about the kind of energy some other people project than I am about ghosts! Keep the group relatively small, especially if you have little to no experience, and if anyone gives you bad vibes calmly ask them to leave. You don’t need someone trying to get ahold of the ghost of jack the ripper right along with aunt mabel, the first woman in your family to go to college.

🔮 Tip 3: Treat it like magick. IT IS. I don’t care what you call it, paranormal science is the science of magickal and unexplainable things. Ghosts are magick. So do the same things you would do when you perform magick rituals! Light your candles, cast protection, maybe grab appropriate crystals, burn herbs and incense, and wear your protective talismans. Align your chakras and ground, do yoga, say prayers, or meditate. This is just like any other psychic exercise, and you need to be able to connect, spiritually.

🔮 Tip 4: Encourage others to share their experiences, and feel whatever they’re feeling. Be prepared man, you’re going to need some tissues. If you end up contacting spirits, someone is going to cry. Let it happen. Let them get their feelings out, and encourage anyone who experiences someone to share it. You might find out you have someone in this group with hidden mediumship abilities, or discover a long-buried past life, or get some emotional closure after the death of a loved one.

🔮 Tip 5: Sweeten the deal. Take a cue from Day of the Dead traditions and offer a reason for spirits to visit you, or a way to find you. Pour out some libations for your guests, put some sweet food or bread, burn copal and rosemary incense to guide them and honour them. If you’re reaching out to someone specific put out their favourite treat, play their favourite song, and put out their favourite item from life. Afterwards you can put what’s left on your altar if you have one, or put it outside for nature to grab it. If you’re near a crossroads, depositing it there would be extra perfect.

🔮 Tip 6: Don’t read some archaic latin incantation from a mysterious and dusty tome. I mean, we’ve all seen Beetlejuice. First of all, working with spells and incantations in other languages you don’t speak is just bad news. You have no idea what you’re saying or any of the original intent behind those words. Say something from the heart. Stick to something simple, something personal, and something you can really feel. A little bit of ceremony like filling the room with candles is cool, but don’t turn it into a performance.

🔮 Tip 7: Remember to say goodbye. Honestly, this is just good manners. You’re not opening some portal you can’t close if you have a séance or use a Ouija board, but if you’re not someone who maintains contact with the dead in life it’s a good idea to make that clear. Mediums have their own set of boundaries to help keep them separate and get them privacy from spirits in their waking life, and if you should do some of the same. Be grateful and thank any spirits or ghosts for their time, and politely ask them to leave and to respect your own boundaries. If you enjoyed your experience, you can even say that if you’d like to communicate with them, you’ll initiate it in the same way. Hopefully this will keep anyone from getting attached or thinking you’re someone they can come to for help or friendship on a regular basis. I think being a ghost is probably a bit lonely sometimes and that lots are on the hunt for open minded people who can actually talk to them.

If you’re looking for a specific spell or method for spirit communication outside of things like the ouija or a pendulum, consider the Black and White Skull Spirit Communication Spell by Jacki Smith on page 92 of Coventry Magic.

Every month in my private group, the Witch n’ Bitch, I choose a magick herb and crystal to feature and work with for the month, and for October I chose Mullein and Malachite. I had so much fun researching them and creating a spell for the group, I decided to share them on the blog and feature them here on this Halloween podcast. Last Halloween I spoke about Eye of Newt and Emerald, two herbs that are ingrained in the overall image of the Halloween witch – thanks to Macbeth and the wizard of Oz. Mullein and Malachite on the other hand are all about the world of the dead, and the journey across the veil.

Click here to read Sketchy Herbs & Magic Rocks: Mullein & Malachite on the blog!

The overall theme for this year’s halloween episode is Victorian Spiritualism, and I was inspired after reading this collection of spooky stories of Victorian era occult and supernatural detectives. I cannot recommend it enough!

Click here to read Book Review of Shadows: The Weiser Book of Occult Detectives Edited by Judika Illes on the blog

  I did some research into ‘the veil between the worlds’ a while back. Not a single example of a pre-Victorian use.

— Adrian Bott (@Cavalorn) October 30, 2017

If you’re interested in learning other ways that Victorian Spiritualism has influenced the modern New Age and Witchy movement, check out this super interesting thread on twitter about the term “the veil between the worlds”, which I use a lot in this episode!

I hope you all have a wonderfully safe and SPOOOOOoooooOOOooooKYyyyyy Halloween or Samhain!

A Very Fat Feminist Halloween Special! Vol. 2 Happy Halloween friends! Are you excited? I am! This is my most favourite holiday of the year! 

[supernatural-squadd]

Wayward Witch

Rowena x Reader// Winchesters x Reader

Warnings: Character death, some language, Angst

A/n: This is going to be a series, so let me know if you want to be tagged in it.

Forever tag list: @Freaksforthewin , @thewinhunter, @cambriacaneatnoodles, @brokennoone , @youtubehelpsmesurvive , @chrisevansthedoritobastard , @winchesters-favorite-girl , @we-know-a-little-about-a-lot @godh8salyssa @dean-baby-Winchester @i-am-an-outcast , @animexchocolate

Want to be added to one of my tag lists? Just ask!

“Begin the incantation, dear.” Your ginger mentor was standing above you as you sat on the ground with your legs crossed.

Nodding your head you closed your eyes and began to focus. Picturing the witches image in your head and concentrating on it.

“Per se qui e fracta toi, per se qui e total toi.” The words were clear coming from you, and you did your best not to mess anything up. Not that you ever did.

Rowena was long gone by now. Finishing out the plan you two were carrying out. Meanwhile you continued the spell, also scrying to see what was happening.

“Katja, long time since we’ve had a run in.” Rowena was walking around the ring of fire burning violently around the Grand Coven witch.

The woman looked mortified, pain spreading in her hands.

“What’ve you done to me?” Looking down she saw her fingers. All broken and unable to be used in any way.

“Oh, just a little reassurance dear.” The ex coven’s witch continued to walk confidently. “Don’t worry, it’s not permanent. Yet.” A twisted smile was on her face.

Your mind snapped back into your own body. Realizing you’d been successful in your work. The witch wouldn’t be alive much longer. Rowena needed to gather information about some object you were unaware of. Not that it bothered you of its hidden identity.

Rowena had sheltered you, taken you in when your world was falling apart. You had no family. For an orphan, the system was your family. The walls of the shelter. The witch had heard of your potential. You were a natural witch. However, your true capabilities hadn’t exposed itself until a year ago.

When she had finally returned, a pleased smile was on her perfect face. She must’ve gotten when she went to get.

“Where is it?” You were anxious. She’d promised you that this item would lead you to greater things. Help you take a higher step up in power by taking somebody down.

“Patience is key. We’re only a step closer.” Her dress rested just above the floor as she walked to the table.

A feeling of irritation swept over you.

“I’m tired of being patient. If you haven’t gotten this thing, what was the point of today?” Slouching over a chair, you held your head. Why did everything have to be so damn difficult?

“Because, dear Y/n. We know now who has what we seek.” She paused, taking a sip from her cup filled to the brim with tea.

“The Winchesters.”

*****

It’d been a week since you’d tortured the witch Katja. Now both you and Rowena were moving on to what she called “higher targets”. Two men by the names of Sam and Dean Winchester. Hunters and brothers. You’d never heard of hunters, but after research and stories from Rowena, you learned they were deadly. These two especially.

Everyday you practiced spells. Any spell. Anything to get your power stronger. She said you’d need it to kill them both. And possibly an Angel. Honestly, you were never one to believe in Angels. Guess it was time to change your views on some things.

This was a mission you’d have to take on your own. For some unknown reason you had to be the one to kill both of the Winchesters. But as always, you never questioned Rowena’s orders. Just did as you were instructed.

“Don’t hesitate.” She was giving you a pep talk before you headed out to do what was necessary.

“They’ll kill you without a second thought in mind. Remember that.” Her hand was on your shoulder just before she pushed you in the direction you needed to go.

You’d be traveling by car, mainly to conserve energy. It’d take a lot to kill two hunters. Especially your first.

*****

The journey took days- three to be exact. Lucky for you it was easy to find the brothers who were out on a “case”.

There were many times you wanted to turn back, forget the whole damn thing and make a run for it. Sure, you’d killed people before. But this- this was different. They were skilled in killing things like you.

You gave yourself one last glance in the rear view mirror, pushing your hair out of your face and into a ponytail exposing the birthmark on your forehead.

Stepping out of the pickup truck you’d stolen, the crisp cold air greeted you in the parking lot of the hotel. Stinging your once warm face.

Room 118. Bottom floor. That’s where they were. No doubt they had guns in there, who wouldn’t if they knew about what went bump in the night?

“Le specto tre colo ves bestia.” A determined and focused look was on your face as you began chanting the words.

Each step you took closer to the room, your words grew louder and louder.

“Le specto tre colo ves bestia.” The door got closer and closer to you.

“Le specto tre colo ves bestia!” Until it was finally opened.

Inside were two, weakened brothers. Both were on their knees, holding their chests as their hearts beat faster and harder than they ever had. You causally stepped inside and shut the door behind you. Mumbling the incantations under your breath. Watching them both buckle down on pain.

“What are you doing to us?” The taller one was speaking the best he could. The shortness of breath didn’t help his cause.

“The pain will be over soon. But this is necessary.” As soon as you finished replying you went back to chanting. It was important you didn’t loose sight of that.

The other man held his chest tightly as blood began forming around the area where his heart was. A God awful crunching sound filled the air and he screamed out something horrid.

“Once your hearts are ripped from your bodies, you’ll die. Not that it’d be your first time.” Rowena had told you about their many trips with death. You weren’t trying to comfort them with your words, but their faces showed more fear than ever.

The man on your left, the taller one, was arching his back. His chest being risen as he tried his best to hold on to what was his. His eyes were shut tight, the pain consuming him. Yet the other, he studied you. And then something happened. Something you never thought would never happen, in this situation especially.

“Y/n?” He spoke your name. Causing you to loose concentration on your spell.

Both brothers instantly stopped fighting off the pain. There was no more pain. Your mind was too fuzzy at the words you’d just heard to focus on that.

“How do you know my name?” He didn’t answer you, which only made you more amped up. Adrenaline pumped through your veins.

“How do you know my name!” Your voice raised to a high and loud tone, and you watched as your power reached out and grabbed hold of his head. Causing him pain for not answering.

“Birthmark…” his words were quiet, this new pain made it hard for him to speak.

Instantly, you stopped. Allowing him to speak once more.

“Your birthmark. I know you from your birthmark.” His head propped up so he could look you dead in the eyes.

“Know me? How the hell would you know me? What’s it to you?” Although you were speaking, you were still defensive. This could be a trick to get you to let your guard down.

“My sister. Our sister. She- you died, the day you were born. We thought you were dead.” No. He had to have been making things up. You’ve been an orphan your entire life. Family had left you for dead.

She came out of nowhere: Rowena. Appearing in the far corner of the room. Wearing a blue long dress with her hair partially pinned up.

“Why a-” you didn’t allow her to finish her sentence. Instead you grasped the air with a fist and choked her.

“What are they talking about?” Tears fell from your eyes, the thought of a family being out there for you…it broke you down.

“Y/n- listen to me.” Once again she tried to speak, but once again you interrupted her.

“Answer the damn question. You know what I’m capable of. Don’t test me.” Your grip tightened once more, but she refused to speak up.

“Fine. Have it your way, I’ll find out on my own.” Walking over to her you placed two fingers on her forehead, completely forgetting about the two boys in the room with you.

“Pontem Praesidio. Anchora Immortalibus. Per menta mi heava cor anmina. Pontem Praesidio. Anchora Immortalibus.”

**memory of Rowena’s**

“We’re loosing her! Start compressions now!” Three doctors surrounded by a staff of nurses worked on an infants stillborn body.

“My- my baby. Why isn’t she crying? What’s going on?” A woman with curly blonde hair and fare white skin was lying on an operation table, a c-section freshly opened.

“She’s still not breathing.” Everybody rushed around the baby who still wasn’t moving.

*fades to an hour later*

“I’m so sorry for your loss. We did everything we could to save her but-” A man in a white coat stood in a room. The same room where a gruff looking man, crying woman, a young boy, and newborn baby boy were.

“Where’s her body? I want to see her.” The woman spoke up, holding tightly onto her newborn son.

“She’s been taken in for labs. It’ll be a few days before you can-”

“No. Let us see her now.” The husband was speaking now.

“I want to say goodbye.”

**back to current day**

“You lied to me?” Taking a step back, you allowed your arms to hang low in shock.

“You lied to me.” Falling to your knees you broke down. Rowena crumbled in front of you, pain radiated through her head.

There was nothing left to do. You couldn’t even think.

“A cierta.” With the simple words, her neck snapped at your command. Her lifeless body dropped to the ground.

What were you going to do now?