#honestly i'm just terrible at open starters so this is my work around | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

abyssembraced · 2 months ago

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16. what is a plot you’ve been wanting to do for... anyone i guess lol?

20 QUESTIONS FOR MULTI-MUSE BLOGS! (Still accepting!)

Oh no one of the harder questions-- fgdgshdhf

(Putting this under a cut since it ended up Long)

Honestly I tend to just look at my rp partners' muses, and then come up with plot ideas specifically for interactions with them and my muses. I dunno if I have any general ideas just Floating Around?

Ghost is my default muse for crossovers, since a) I Love Them and b) they have a very flexible crossover verse that allows me to just throw them as they naturally are anywhere, but stuff that actually takes place in Hallownest is always nice to have! But most if not all of my plot ideas are tied to specific people's muses (like our plans for Ghost and Arti's HK AU! Definitely still wanna do that <3), and if they're not, then it's more along the lines of "man it'd be fun to have interactions with [character] but no blog that I know of writes them"

I guess I have considered writing a drabble for Ghost's post Dream No More verse for a while, basically going into their thought processes and stuff and how they're eventually able to reform themself as a Shade in the physical realm, which could also function as an open starter for any HK muse who could realistically be around the Black Egg Temple when that happens. No idea when or if I'll ever actually write that though dgshff

Papyrus is harder to come up with specific plots for in general, at least when it comes to interacting with fellow Undertale muses, just because there's so much freedom in what can be done that my mind just goes blank asgshdhsf. Generally speaking, though, it could be fun to do stuff with some of Undertale's neutral endings!

I believe I've brought this up at least once on the blog, though, and I know I've plotted something along these lines with at least one friend, but I do like the idea of Papyrus interacting with ex-villains or people who have Done Bad Things and regret it. Since! My Paps follows the Otherworld theory, and in his original Deltarune universe, he was the Roaring Knight! Or was at least affiliated with them in some way, but I think at this point, regardless of what Papyrus' role actually ends up being in Deltarune, I'm tempted to stick to mine being the Knight, even if that ends up making him canon divergent. I'll see once we actually get more information, I guess! But I digress. Point is, He's Been There! He's done the terrible things and has his regrets! But since then he's worked to redeem himself and become the Great Papyrus, and that's how he knows everyone else can do that, too.

I don't know how many times I'd actually want to write a thread based around that, since doing it over and over would probably get repetitive, but! In my heart, Papyrus is surrounded by a bunch of scary-looking ex-villain or otherwise morally grey friends who would kill for him if needed <3 gfhfhsdhf

It's funny though, because Papyrus' past is typically something that he never talks about. Like-- Sans is the only one who really knows anything, and that's just because they're brothers and he was there when it all happened. Even Flowey, despite his constant RESETs and completionism and trying to learn everything about all the "characters" in his "game", might not be aware of everything. Maybe just the "Papyrus did some things in the past that he deeply regrets" part, since I could see that being relevant to a conversation between the two of them. Because even though Paps is a bad liar, he's damn good at keeping secrets and simply Not Talking about things. And yet! I keep thinking about scenarios where he might actually be compelled to bring it up dgshshdf.

And then GLaDOS... I'd just like to try writing in general dhsgfshf. Definitely still want her and Mirage to bitch at each other lmao. I've still gotta write out my thoughts on how the two might meet using Mirage's psychopomp AU, which I will do! Eventually!!

For her Rain World AU, I think interactions with fellow iterators would especially be neat! But I've uh. Also gotta write out more info for that verse too first dhshdhf

#ooc #.🪲#.🦴#.☣️#hymns-across-the-stars #ask

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mad-hunts · 4 months ago

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🚢

shipping meme!

do i ship our characters together?: yes | no | not yet but maybe soon

would i like to ship with you?: yes | maybe, i'm willing to try | no

would i rather plot first or jump right in and see where it goes?: develop their relationship first | jump right in | something in between: i think that it would be interesting to do a blend between these two, where we could maybe lay some groundwork down regarding their dynamic / a possible ship between them that would detail what each of us might like to see out of it and/or how we could envision them either becoming an item (sorry, i just love that term for two people who're each other's significant other LOL), or becoming one once again if you'd like to go with the exes route or the second chance one. but then we would kind of wing it from there... however, with having a general idea as to where we want to go with their dynamic, if that makes any sense. though IDK,, perhaps it's because i've been seeing so many edits for ships who were exes but rekindled their relationship with each other that i feel like that'd have potential to be a kind of fun dynamic for wanda and barton, but also sad at the same time (,:

what now?: let's plot something | send me shippy memes | i'll send you shippy memes | write me a random starter | i'll write you a random starter

anything else i want you to know about me / my character / my shipping habits: ( AHHH, hiii, itzel! thank you so much for sending this in and possibly being interested in shipping with barton :D it honestly made me so happy to see this pop up in my inbox, because i absolutely ADORE your account and your portrayal of wanda!! but yeah. with all of that said, i just wanted to let you know that two of barton's most negative traits are ones that i have pictured possibly interfering with his romantic relationships before, and this is that he can be closed-minded in a way / stubborn.

and i say in a way for closed-minded because he is kinddd of selective (okay, he can be REALLY selective, ngl haha) whenever it comes to accepting other people's opinions of things. so i could imagine that it could take him a bit to actually believe that a hero and a villain could be together since... well, they would more likely than not have a conflict of ideology going on there + i could NOT imagine that wanda would agree with a lot of things that barton does if she learned just how terrible of a person he really is (,: and that's honestly completely understandable so i'm not trying to like say she'd be bad for not agreeing with it.

i just think that they would probably have to come to a solution where barton either doesn't bring his 'work' up around her, and/or maybe depending on how attached he is to her, he could make an effort to cut all of the bad things he does down. but yeah,,, i think it could be interesting, like i said before, if you'd be interested in doing something with an ex like dynamic with them as we could make up like a whole history for them and stuff! but you don't have to, of course. so TOTALLY feel free to hmu in IM's here and ask for my disc if you want, or just talk to me there or in the comments here as to what kind of things you'd maybe want to explore between them yourself.

i like to think that i'm pretty open whenever it comes to potential dynamics, so if there is one here that i didn't check as a 'definitely' (in bold) or a maybe (in italics), then feel free to tell me and we could talk about it! but i am honestly very excited to roleplay with you more and i just want to let you know that although barton can ABSOLUTELY be an arsehole and hard to deal with: whenever it comes to romance, it tends to bring out the best version of him, though i have to say that things probably would be a little rocky at least on his end in the beginning because of the reasons i stated above. )

#hexsreality #AHH i also wanted to say to please not be afraid of sending me shippy meme's if you want to even though i only out it as a 'maybe' on here!#i mostly just did that because i don't want to make you feel like you have to but it'd definitely be welcomed and i'd love to get the-#chance to develop their relationship further / see what kind of ship they could possibly blossom into after talking to each other if you'd #want to hmu in IM's or anything! but yeah. thanks again for sending this to me MUAHHH <33 #shipping meme!

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crypticjackal13 · 2 years ago

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I’m having quite the terrible day. Do you mind writing a Mayor one shot of reader ignoring him since they’re absolutely stressed out and Mayor gets worried and checks on them?

I'm sorry to hear about your day. I hope this cheers you up a bit!

"Team Work"(677 w.c)

Mayor x GN!Reader

Platonic Comfort Oneshot!

Pronouns: they/them

CW: stress, slight breakdown

The Mayor knew how much his lovely intern enjoyed their job with him at the office. He tried to make things as fun as he could with what he was given, which honestly wasn’t a lot simply because…well, it was politics. His intern met every deadline, went to every meeting, really did more than asked of them and he could never truly show them how grateful he was for them. But as of late they were ignoring him. Always writing notes. Always rushing to and fro. He hardly had the speed to catch up with them and ask them what was going on. But that stopped today—he was going to call a meeting with them directly so he could figure out what was wrong.

He sat at his large desk and fiddled with some loose pencils while he waited for them to enter. If he was correct—he usually was—they would be here in three, two…

“Ah, sorry I’m late! I wasn’t watching the time, I got caught up in some emails—“

“Y/n, relax. You’re right on time.” He cut them off, gesturing to the seat across from him. He saw a little weight leave their shoulders, but he could also see how much remained. Yikes.

“Oh. That’s good, then!” They sat down stiffly. It was like they were a ticking time bomb, bound to explode any second. “What’s going on? What can I do?”

“Well, what you can do for starters is tell me why you’ve been ignoring me. I hope I haven’t done anything to upset you.”

“No, no, not at all! I’ve just been trying to get everything done and it’s all on my own.” They waved their hands to dismiss the thought. His smile remained consistent, however his brows furrowed. Now that they were across from him, he could see the deep dark circles under their eyes.

“Why are you doing it on your own? You’re not supposed to do my whole job for me!”

“I just don’t want to stress you out. You should be able to relax!” They insisted.

“Dear y/n, I appreciate that. But trust me. I’ve got the right balance of work and life. However you seem to have the opposite. According to the charts, you’ve been pulling a lot of overtime. And my suspicion is that you’ve been going even beyond that at home.”

He tried to meet their eyes. But they only stared at the ground as their frown deepened. He could see them trying not to cry.

“Y/n? Here, have some water, alright? Take your time and talk to me.” He reached into the mini fridge he had under his desk and handed them a small bottle of water that they took with tremorous hands. But once they had successfully opened it, the first tears fell. From there, the whole dam burst open, and he got up and went around his desk to console them with a box of tissues in hand.

“I’m sorry, sir. I really am. I don’t know what to do.” They sobbed. Their shoulders were hunched in as they gripped at their own arms.

“No need for apologies, alright? I promise. You’re not in trouble, no one is upset at you. In fact, everyone is quite impressed with you!” He patted them on the back. “You need to tone it down. I will help you to split work evenly between you and me, okay? We’re a team!”

“Yeah, we are!” They laughed in between tears. He stayed with them, and when his phone rang, he went and told them to call back later. This was far more important, in his opinion.

“Do me a favor. Go on your lunch break—do not take any kind of work with you—and then when you get back, come see me. We’ll sort you out. Does that sound good?”

Their sobs had reduced to sniffles by now and he was happy to see them able to breathe properly again. They nodded and dusted themselves off.

“Thank you, Mayor. I appreciate it.”

“Anytime, dear y/n.”

#this company is a family #lego monkie kid #lmk headcanon #lmk x reader #lmk #lego monkie kid headcanons #gender neutral y/n #lego monkie kid x reader #lmk not mayor #lmk mayor #lmk mayor x reader #monkie kid mayor #mayor has dad energy when he talks to his employees #and its very functional!! he really cares!!#he takes care of everyone #they all love him thats why hes been mayor since forever

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respectable-username · 3 years ago

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🔐 Why You (Probably) Don't Need A VPN

A rant by a software engineer sick of VPN ads from her favourite YouTubers

TL;DR:

Here are some legitimate reasons the average internet user might want to use a VPN:

To connect to their company's internal network

To bypass the Great Firewall of China (or other types of website blocks at country or organisation level)

To watch Netflix etc as if you were in another country

Here are absolutely rubbish reasons to use a VPN:

Privacy

And today, I'll tell you why.

Hang on, won't a VPN stop hackers from stealing my passwords?

I mean, it does encrypt the web traffic coming from your device.

You know what else encrypts web traffic coming from your device? Your browser.

Yes, in the year 2021, pretty much all websites on the internet are accessed over HTTPS. The "S" stands for "secure", as in "your request will be securely encrypted". If your browser is using HTTPS, nobody can capture the data you're sending over the internet. More detail in the "I like too much detail" section at the bottom of this post.

It's very easy to check if you are using HTTPS by looking at your URL bar. In most browsers, it will have a lock on it if secure:

(From top left to bottom right: Chrome on iOS, Safari on iOS, Chrome on Windows, Edge on Windows, Firefox on Windows, and Safari on Mac. Screenshots reflect the UI at the time this post was written. Oh gosh this has taken over 4 hours to write.)

But isn't moar encryption better? What if somebody breaks HTTPS?

For starters, nobody's breaking your HTTPS, and there isn't any benefit from double encrypting. This is because of the maths behind encryption/decryption!

Encryption works kinda like a lock and key, except the lock is maths and the key is a special number only known to the person allowed to unlock the information.

The important thing is, without the key, all the locked data looks like complete and utter garbage. Completely unusable. Barely distinguishable from random noise. There's absolutely no way to tell what the original data was.

The other important thing is that the key is nearly unguessable. As in, with current technology, will generally take more than the lifetime of the universe to guess by chance. And when technology gets faster, we just make the numbers bigger again until they're once again secure.

For any major website you use, they will use a strong encryption algorithm (ie lock) with big numbers so your keys will be strong enough to withstand an attack. This means your data is safe as long as that lock icon is in your URL bar.

A VPN will not make the existing garble any more garbled. The extra $10/month or whatever you're paying for does not buy you any extra protection.

If you want to know more about how encryption and HTTPS in particular work, see the "I like too much detail" section at the end of this post.

Something something viruses

How's a VPN going to stop viruses? It controls the path your internet traffic takes, not the content that gets sent down that path. I guess it could block some known virus-giving hosts? But if it's known to the VPN provider, it's probably also known to the built-in antivirus on your computer who can block it for you.

(Oh yeah, 3rd party antivirus is another thing that's not worth paying for these days. Microsoft's built-in Windows Defender is as good as the third party options, and something something Macs don't get viruses easily because of how they're architected.)

Honestly though, keep your software up to date, don't click on anything suspicious, don't open files from sources you don't trust, and you'll be right most of the time.

And keep your software up to date. Then update your software. Hey, did I mention keeping your stuff updated? Update! Now! It only takes a few minutes. Please update to the latest version of your software I'm begging you. It's the number 1 way to protect yourself from viruses and other malware. Most major software attacks could have been prevented if people just updated their damn software!

But my ISP is spying on me!

Ok, it is true that there are TWO bits of data that HTTPS can't and won't hide. Those are:

The source of a request (your IP)

What website that request is going to (the website's IP)

These are the bits of information that routers use to know where to send your data, so of course they can't be hidden as the data is moving across the internet. And people can see that information very easily if they want to.

Note: this will show which website you're going to, but not which page you're looking at, and not the content of that page. So it will show that you were on Tumblr, but will not show anyone that you're still reading SuperWhoLock content in 2021.

It's this source/destination information that VPNs hide, which is why they can be used to bypass website blocks and region locks.

By using a VPN, those sniffing traffic on your side of the VPN will just show you connecting to the VPN, not the actual website you want. That means you can read AO3 at work/school without your boss/teachers knowing (unless they look over your shoulder of course).

As for those sniffing on the websites end, including the website itself, they will see the VPN as the source of the connection, not you. So if you're in the US and using a VPN node in the UK, Netflix will see you as being in the UK and show you their British library rather than the American one.

If this is what you're using a VPN for and you think the price is fair, then by all means keep doing it! This is 100% what VPNs are good for.

HOWEVER, and this is a big "however", if it's your ISP you're trying to hide your internet traffic from, then you will want to think twice before using a VPN.

Let me put it this way. Without a VPN, your ISP knows every website you connect to and when. With a VPN, do you know who has that exact same information? The VPN provider. Sure, many claim to not keep logs, but do you really trust the people asking for you to send them all your data for a fee to not just turn around and sell your data on for a profit, or worse?

In effect, you're trading one snooper for another. One snooper is heavily regulated, in many jurisdictions must obey net neutrality, and is already getting a big fee from you regardless of where you browse. The other isn't. Again, it's all a matter of who you trust more.

For me personally, I trust my ISP more than a random VPN provider, if for no other reason than my ISP is an old enough company with enough inertia and incompetence that I don't think they could organise to sell my data even if they wanted to. And with the amount of money I'm paying them per month, they've only got everything to lose if they broke consumer trust by on-selling that data. So yeah, I trust my ISP more with my privacy than the random VPN company.

But my VPN comes with a password manager!

Password managers are great. I 100% recommend you use a password manager. If there's one thing you could do right now to improve your security (other than updating your software, speaking of, have you updated yet?), it's getting and using a password manager.

Password managers also come for free.

I'm currently using LastPass free, but am planning to switch after they did a bad capitalism and only let their free accounts access either laptop or mobile but not both now. I personally am planning to move to Bitwarden on friends' recommendation since it's not only free but open source and available across devices. I also have friends who use passbolt and enjoy it, which is also free and open source, but it's also a bit DIY to set up. Great if you like tinkering though! And there are probably many other options out there if you do a bit of googling.

So, yeah, please use a password manager, but don't pay for it unless you actually have use for the extra features.

No I really need to hide my internet activity from everybody for reasons

In this case, you're probably looking for TOR. TOR is basically untraceable. It's also a terrible user experience for the most part because of this, so I'd only recommend it if you need it, such as if you're trying to escape the Great Firewall. But please don't use it for Bad Crimes. I am not to be held liable for any crime committed using information learned from this post.

Further reading viewing

If you want to know more about why you don't need a VPN, see Tom Scott's amazing video on the subject. It's honestly a great intro for beginners.

I like too much detail

Ahhh, so you're the type of person who doesn't get turned off by long explanations I see. Well, here's a little more info on the stuff I oversimplified in the main post about encryption. Uhh, words get bigger and more jargony in this section.

So first oversimplification: the assumption that all web traffic is either HTTP or HTTPS. This isn't exactly true. There are many other application layer internet standards out there, such as ssh, ftp, websockets, and all the proprietary standards certain companies use for stuff such as streaming and video conferencing. Some of these are secure, using TLS or some other security algorithm under the hood, and some of them aren't.

But most of the web requests you care about are HTTP/HTTPS calls. As for the rest, if they come from a company of a decent size that hasn't been hacked off the face of the planet already, they're probably also secure. In other words, you don't need to worry about it.

Next, we've already said that encryption works as a lock and a key, where the lock is a maths formula and the key is a number. But how do we get that key to lock and unlock the data?

Well, to answer that, we first need to talk about the two different types of encryption: symmetric and asymmetric. Symmetric encryption such as AES uses the same key to both encrypt and decrypt data, whereas asymmetric encryption such as RSA uses a different key to encode and decode.

For the sake of my writing, we're going to call the person encrypting Alice, the person decrypting Bob, and the eavesdropper trying to break our communications Eve from now on. These are standard names in crypto FYI. Also, crypto is short for cryptography not cryptocurrencies. Get your Bitcoin and Etherium outta here!

Sorry if things start getting incoherent. I'm tired. It's after 1am now.

So first, how do we get the key from symmetric crypto? This is probably the easier place to start. Well, you need a number, any number of sufficient size, that both Alice and Bob know. There are many ways you could share this number. They could decide it when they meet in person. They could send it to each other using carrier pigeons. Or they could radio it via morse code. But those aren't convenient, and somebody could intercept the number and use it to read all their messages.

So what we use instead is a super clever algorithm called Diffie-Hellman, which uses maths and, in particular, the fact it's really hard to factor large numbers (probably NP Hard to be specific, but there's no actual proof of that). The Wikipedia page for this is surprisingly easy to read, so I'll just direct you there to read all about it because I've been writing for too long. This algorithm allows Alice and Bob to agree on a secret number, despite Eve being able to read everything they send each other.

Now Alice and Bob have this secret number key, they can talk in private. Alice puts her message and the key into the encryption algorithm and out pops what looks like a load of garbage. She can then send this garbage to Bob without worrying about Eve being able to read it. Bob can then put the garbage and the key into the decryption algorithm to undo the scrambling and get the original message out telling him where the good donuts are. Voila, they're done!

But how does Alice know that she's sending her message to Bob and not Eve? Eve could pretend to be Bob so that Alice does the Diffie-Hellman dance with her instead and sends her the secret location of the good donuts instead.

This is where asymmetric crypto comes in! This is the one with private and public keys, and the one that uses prime numbers.

I'm not 100% across the maths on this one TBH, but it has something to do with group theory. Anyway, just like Diffie-Hellman, it relies on the fact that prime factorisation is hard, and so it does some magic with semi-primes, ie numbers with only 2 prime factors other than 1. Google it if you want to know more. I kinda zoned out of this bit in my security courses. Maths hard

But the effect of that maths is easier to explain: things that are encoded with one of the keys can only be decoded with the other key. This means that one of those keys can be well-known to the public and the other is known only to the person it belongs to.

If Alice wants to send a message to Bob and just Bob, no Eve allowed, she can first look up Bob's public key and encrypt a beginning message with that. Once Bob receives the message, he can decrypt it with his private key and read the contents. Eve can't read the contents though because, even though she has Bob's public key, she doesn't know his private key.

This public key information is what the lock in your browser is all about BTW. It's saying that the website is legit based on the public key they provide.

So why do we need symmetric crypto when we have asymmetric crypto? Seems a lot less hassle to exchange keys with asymmetric crypto.

Well, it's because asymmetric crypto is slooooow. So, in TLS, the security algorithm that puts the "S" in "HTTPS", asymmetric RSA is used to establish the initial connection and figure out what symmetric key to use, and then the rest of the session uses AES symmetric encryption using the agreed secret key.

And there you have it! Crypto in slightly-less-short-but-still-high-enough-level-that-I-hope-you-understand.

Just realised how long this section is. Well, I did call it "too much detail" for a reason.

Now, next question is what exactly is and isn't encrypted using HTTPS.

Well, as I said earlier, it's basically just the source IP:port and the destination IP:port. In fact, this information is actually communicated on the logical layer below the application layer HTTPS is on, known as the transport layer. Again, as I said before, you can't really encrypt this unless you don't want your data to reach the place you want at all.

Also, DNS is unencrypted. A DNS request is a request that turns a domain name, such as tumblr.com, into an IP address, by asking a special server called a Domain Name Server where to find the website you're looking for. A DNS request is made before an HTTP(S) request. Anyone who can read your internet traffic can therefore tell you wanted to go to Tumblr.

But importantly, this only shows the domain name, not the full URL. The rest of the URL, the part after the third slash (the first two slashes being part of http://), is stuff that's interpreted by the server itself and so isn't needed during transport. Therefore, it encrypted and completely unreadable, just like all the content on your page.

I was going to show a Wireshark scan of a web request using HTTP and HTTPS to show you the difference, but this has taken long enough to write as it is, so sorry!

I could probably write more, but it's 1:30am and I'm sleepy. I hope you found some of this interesting and think twice before purchasing a VPN subscription. Again, there are legit good uses for a VPN, but they're not the ones primarily being advertised in VPN ads. It's the fact that VPN ads rely so heavily on false advertising that really grinds my gears and made me want to do this rant. It's especially bad when it comes from somebody I'd think of as technologically competent (naming no names here, but if you've worked in tech and still promote VPNs as a way to keep data safe... no). Feel free to ask questions if you want and hopefully I'll get around to answering any that I feel I know enough to answer.

Nighty night Tumblr. Please update your software. And use a (free) password manager. And enable two factor authentication on all your accounts. But mostly just update your software.

#technology #vpn #things you don't need #things that piss me off #res rambles #res writes

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dhampirslays · 3 years ago

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5. What is a character you love, but don’t think you can write?

6. Name 3 things you love most about your muse/muses.

7. What is one overrated roleplay trend?

QUESTIONS FOR MUNS ! ( meme / accepting )

5. What is a character you love, but don't think you can write ?

shfkgjhsfgsk holy shit, this question. For starters, I fucking ADORE Hope Mikaelson and the complexity that is her life and her emotions and I have been writing her since the main idea of her was introduced in The Originals on the facebook platform. And still, I have seen so many great people write her in here to the point where I highkey believe I'm a literal potato and can't write her for shit. This is how amazing those lovely people are. My friends however ( Tiffany the most ) are still encouraging me to write her on her own blog so I have to swallow my inferiority issues and just do it :,)

6. Name 3 things you love most about your muse / muses.

i ) Jo's character development. Honestly, I never expected of this little ball of fury to come this far. She started as an experimental idea on my multimuse on facebook and with the help of @ sacredslaycd, i have brought her forth on tumblr and oh how lovely she has blossomed. She started as a child who was heavily influenced by the council and even saw the world in black and white, good and evil, viewing the world as demons origins = bad, humans = good and in the span of one year she had been around so many lovely characters who are supernaturals ( such as witches, mostly vampires and werewolves ) that her world has been shaken up and her eyes just. . . opened. Don't get me wrong, she has a lot of work to do on that department, but the point is, she has come a long way from where she started. And over all, isn't that what character development really is ? ii ) the second thing I love most about her is less of a fact and more of the way she is. the longer she has stayed in Monterey ever since she graduated from the watcher / slayer academy, and the more time she has had to be around her family ( and less of the council ) has helped her develop the attributes that make her a person; she is finally in a place where she can even say she's growing to be happy, even if her life is anything but. In fewer words, I admire her optimism, the way she forms connections and relationships and friendships, and most of all, I love how terrible her puns are. I love her passion. I love that she'll do whatever it takes to save the people she loves. I love that she tediously loves and she gets burnt but she still picks herself up and does it again because that's just the person she is.

iii ) the girl is hella strong and resilient. It's no secret that life has had a tendency to beat her down, from buffy leaving, to the council taking her away from her family, inflicting its own closed-minded mindset, to losing ethan, to being tossed in the arena and having undergone a slayer underground slavery because her watcher betrayed her, to everyone in the council turning their backs on her and declaring her an enemy, to eventually dying and being turned into the one thing she was raised to hate. And throughout all that, she's still somehow standing, and she's still gentle and loving even though she's literally falling into pieces. She's no god; sometimes she questions herself and her bravery falters and she has had times where she acted selfish and petty ( cause no one is flawless ) and can occasionally be mean about it, but she's still there and she's trying to be a better person and SUE ME, but being mean is part of life. Somehow, even after everything, she still manages to push to her feet. I don't know how better to explain it.

7. What is one overrated roleplay trend ?

Enemies to friends to lovers to oh-no I'm a baby maker who always believed we'd end up together even though when we first met all i wanted to do was slice your throat open or whatever The Vampire Diaries Delena / Klaroline was. In general lines, this trope can be good if handled the right way but most people just dive in because they lack the patience of it and for me personally, it's like i'm watching something go 0 to 100 within the span of 2 minutes.

#thatslayer #( ❛ to feel alive: not just the carcass but the sparkle ❜ ― answered asks )

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enigmaincrimson · 3 years ago

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Blog isn't dead, just sleeping.

Admittedly, there's been so many new follows lately that I'm not really sure how to approach all of you.

Open starters don't work well since they can quickly get disorganized if a large number of people respond to a single thread.

Starter calls tend to not work well either since well... I'm terrible at making them, but also... it doesn't really cover who actually wants a thread or is just clicking "like" because it's there.

As such, I usually prefer those potential partners approach first... since honestly... I also suck at the approach as well. Just no one word introductions like "Hey" or "RP?" Unless there's been some degree of conversation and context to go with it.

I also keep wondering if I should reboot the Gallery feature on the blog or not since I'm not sure how to organize it or how to do it without it being misunderstood as pretentious and not as some sort of attempt to offer something back.

(Attempted to hide rambles under the break)

(Sorry for this...)

As for the people I've sent messages to this last while and haven't replied. I'm sorry that I tend to ramble and stress out easily. It's just a part of who I am. It's not easy to control and... I have a tendency to keep flipping those imaginative Tetris blocks around until I figure out what makes sense.

Describing things isn't a strong point for me... unless I take strange measures like writing in a manner that resembles something like machine gun fire, and then coming back and fixing it later... if I'm not afraid that doing so might break something because I somehow managed to forget the original intention.

Art and Icons in RP are more visual aids to me, a small feature to add a bit of spice while giving an impression of what my muse looks like to some extent. I know that my notes on appearance are terrible and the faceclaims are not exactly accurate to design.

I'm also trying to revamp the verse notes, so they are vaguer and less... overly descriptive. Certain parties kept demanding details on everything, so I kind of started panicking and flailing about whenever that happened. Then there's also the metagamers and the godmodders... elitist nutcakes, and the canon obsessed.

Things would get way out of hand and whenever I told these people that I would not do as they asked, they'd turn something as insignificant as my choice of blog theme several years ago into some sort of major moral issue... bloating things way out of proportion and convincing others that they were the victims in the situation when reality is overwise.

Many times, I've wondered if I'm even worth the effort to get to know, if all those people are actually right and I should just be a body in a ditch somewhere. Although at the same time, such things confuse me... of which I am not sure how to put into words. I know I'm not perfect or innocent by any means and neither is anyone else, but what is a fair trial when everyone already presumes you are guilty?

As such, I've become rather paranoid about approaching people or making any adjustments... not really sure if anything I am saying makes sense or might be misunderstood and if they might result in yet another situation where people might get hurt on my account.

I'm sorry if I haven't been that clear or approachable, contracting to overly rambling and seemingly pushy about things. It isn't that often when people come by on their own accord or even offer the time of day these days and... the mixture of anxiety, stress, and paranoia blended with loneliness and a burning urge to create... doesn't make a great mix.

I know that I need to communicate more and be there more, but it's never clear who wants me there, even if they are following me back... so I tend to give everyone as much space as I could. Never was it my intention to "Guilt trip" or ramble on incessantly as I've heard said many times over. Communication hasn't exactly been a strong point for me, and misunderstandings tend to be plenty.

So do try to understand why I tend to have a terrible time doing much of anything... even if what I said is long, messy, and probably is of little sense.

I do wish things would get better, but it's not something that is going to happen just by my own will. Roleplay is a mutual partnership after all, not a competition or a game of dominance. Communication is important.

~Glitch

#enigmaincrimson #ooc

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chrospw-doodles · 4 years ago

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When the Ink doesn’t flow

So... for starters this is a rant I wrote somewhere between september and november of 2020, it was intended to be posted in my main blog @chrispriceway back then, but I decided to put this here to avoid being too too personal there, I mean it is supposed to be a happy place to goof around and show you cool stuff, that’s why I made this side blog, to be more personal and less awkard so, yeh.

Chris-Jan.2021

What's up everybody, I know I haven't posted anything in a while and I wanted to adress my abcense and some other stuff that I wanted to talk about but never knew how to bring it up.

So, to those who follow me and dont really know who am I as a content creator:

hi, the name is Christian, you can call me Chris, I'm somewhat of an artist and like to post my stuff here.

Now, even if you have been following me for a while you may have noticed that I really don't post very often and that I haven't been around for a while even if I claim that I'm trying to be more active, well I think it's about time to talk about the issue and make some big changes around here.

But first of all, why does it even matter?

Well, to be honest the past three to four years I haven't really seen my online connection as serious business since I am primarly a student, and school does suck all of my time, the problem with that is that I really feel like I havent been respectful to you, the audience, not that I owe you anything but since I am now trying to make a living from my art, it is necessary to take this connection between the audience seriously and with a bit more respect.

In those three years all I've ever did was too much talk and too little deliver, so I apologize to those people who were really invested into the stuff I do, I really appreciate you guys.

So with that aside...

I wanted to talk about mental health.

well MY mental health

I know what you may be thinking, "what the heck Chris? What does this have to do with you being a lazy ass biss?"

Well, it's kinda simple as it is complicated so I will be putting here some bullets to make it easier to you to navigate through and to let you know how long it is going to be to those who really really just want to skip this post already

Introduction

Danplan Drama

College is a biss

When job becomes priority over school

How did all of this affect my mental state

And how I feel about it

Final thoughts

I'm not okay

Well, was, not anymore (mostly), or at least not as serious as I was some monts ago. Listen, shit went down, it's 2020 and that was inevitable, but I really want to go trough some points to give you context.

This year has been specially rough to me because of some circumstances that a few may know, but for context I'll be telling you about it.

The danplan shit did a lotta damage my bros

Ah, yes, long story short, I was an animator in that channel before the figgin drama

But it wasnt really that bad, you see, I really think that it was inevitable that it was going to end like that because of how are those two, but at the time I had to shut a lot of stuff because I didn't wanted to make it worse as the other animators did... but in retrospective, If we had talked about how we felt about the issue in that moment maybe it could have been better, or maybe not, I don't know and maybe I'll post a rant about it some other time (or maybe I wont), the point. is.

It was emotionally taxing, and to be honest it screwed me very bad. You see, I know I am not that good of an artist in comparisson to the others, nor have the best management of my social media, or another project to keep me on the public eye for a while, and since I went back to school I couldnt possible be hired by another channel because of my lack of time; so loosing my job at danplan was a HUGE deal to me because I knew that none of the jobs available in my country could pay off as good nor be as flexible as being an animator was, so that whole ordeal was really, really frustrating.

Then school became a living hell

Since I escentially lost that job I did try desperately to find anything as good to fill the void (it sounds dramatic but believe me, it felt really bad fam.) So the opportunity presented itself and I took a bone in stephen's channel.

In all honesty it was a good job and it was quite fun, but I didn't really stayed as a full time animator, I believe it was due lack of time or maybe my style wasn't really what they were going for, and tbh fair game... but it was still bad news for me because I was that desperate to find a new job, and I was so inmersed on doing that so I wasn't taking good care of my grades.

So now I had two problems, no job, and I was doing terrible on school because of my obsession with the job hunting.

And at the time I was still part of the community...

I was very active in the dp community and in Pau's server, I found great people and did some art because I really felt happy about it...

But honestly, that didn't last long.

School started to be a real problem and I did fail two of my school subjects, at the end of the semester I was burned out, and sleep deprived, so there was that.

One of my finals was a video talking about the drama and stuff and I've never finished it because I ran out of time and eventually I didn't felt it right abaut it, because it was like opening a grave again, like it was something too disrespectful even if it was originally intended for the sake of the animators, to give them, us, some justice at the end of the day... but I couldn't do it. It wasn't fair to everyone else because they moved on.

And that was the beginning of this crappy thing I've been carrying around.

I just. Can't. Finish. Anything.

I just overthink everything and fail before I begin any of the pieces, or Im about to finish but change my mind because Its. Not. Good. Enough.

I have a TON of pieces that never saw the light of the day BECAUSE I'm not in the right state of mind, and it is painful, because I love doing art as much as I love engaging with you guys, even if you are a few to maybe 10 people, I enjoy it. And It sucks to not be able to do stuff because I feel crappy.

And I know for fact that feeling crappy it's a crappy excuse to not do anything

But I don't mean that to anyone else but myself, because I feel like I could be better and do better, but... it isn't working, the global situation did some damage too, and I've been manageing, still, I haven't been able to finish a lot of stuff and honestly, I just want to come back before I become a ghost account.

So what's up? What's poppin'?

The plan is to try to force myself to finish at least one piece per week to keep this alive until I find the will to work normally again.

Maybe it's not the best solution, but I think this will motivate me a little since I really want to materialize some projects that I have had on the back of my head for a long time now, and I really want to start em' and share it with you along the way... so yeah, that's basically it.

Well, that was a long one, and if you happened read this far, thank you, I really appreciate it.

I hope I will be seeing you soon...

Stay creative, my dudes.

#lets talk #heart to heart #danplan #I know I shouldnt bring the tag on butim talking about it anyway so whatever #Chris from 2021 signing in again #So I'll keep the tags as before because NOBODY visits the dp tumblr section anymore #xD #and I know #it's been a year from the drama so that's why I edited some parts that I wrote while I was salty #now I do not hve intentions on doing anything about it so #yeh #I keep forgetring that I cant use punctuation signs in the tags #damn XD

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devintrinidad · 5 years ago

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Been reading your Cells At Work fanfics and they are adorable! Some of my favorites in fandom. I also read your thoughts on 4989 from ch 26 and I honestly feel the same! I don't ship him w/3808 (not that I'm opposed despite 1164/3803 being my fave). But I love that bit of interaction they had and hope we get a lot more. 4989 I could see being like that clingy brother friend type that 3803 likes to dote on (even if his tears fluster her a bit). I think it also really added a lot to think about.-

2 For starters 4989 says 1146 is the most emotional of them (despite his default stoic look). If 3803 compliments moved 4989 to tears then imagine how much feelings 1146 gets from being around her? It's funny because she was the one who was pushing for more interactions between them initially while he was more hesitant/distant. But when he accepted yeah he was going to keep seeing her. He turned into this puppy who loved following her around. Not even going into the several times he watched/-

3 followed her around w/o her even knowing about it. I still remember that manga panel where she's talking to herself about the nasal cavities. 1146 pops up to quickly offer to take her there. Despite just finishing a battle and still looking beat up he wanted to hang out with her so bad 4989 had to remind him to fix himself up first. 4989's reaction makes me think 1146 feels even more overwhelmed w/happiness because of her. I think it's sometimes downplayed how much she really affected him. -

4 He didn't really think about other cells in terms of interactions or how they felt/worked before he watched over her during her circulation. He got more open about expressing himself outside his own little circle. She kind of made his world a lot bigger. Also 1146 seems like he's always been the perfect WBC and is naturally great at what he does. I like to think he's so inspired by her because she's naturally bad at her job but works hard to improve anyway and still loves her work.~~~

First of all, thank you for the kind words! Gosh, it’s been.... what? Almost a year and a half ago? I miss Hataraku Saibou/Cells At Work! (Although, there’s been word of an anime adaptation of Hataraku Saibou Black! so that will be interesting!). Honestly, writing for CAW was one of the happiest fandoms I’ve ever been in because it helped me through some tough times. I’m glad that you liked them and that they are among your favorites. Drop a review if you’re up to it! I would love to hear more of your thoughts. ;D

Anywhoozles, yeah, I love the WBC squad (2001 is forever man boi!!! although, he rarely gets any screentime/manga panels dedicated to him... or fan art) and I feel you about 4989. He’s just too precious for this world and while a part of me will always and forever she AE-3803 with all of the WBC, my favorite has got to be the OG red/white cell ship. AKA, 3803/1146.

And your thoughts about 1146? Man, it’s been a while since I’ve watched the anime or read the manga (is it still updating?), but I remember that 1146 was so obsessed with his work... is that even the right word? Hmm, perhaps dedicated is more like it. But, oh boy, it’s so amazing when he finally meets and continues meeting 3803, it’s like he’s letting his boundaries down with her--with someone outside of the neutrophils because I bet he’s sort of vulnerable with his comrades (WBC squad!) in arms than with other cells.

Also, that last bit that you wrote? About 1146 looking up to 3803 despite her flaws and tendencies to be kind of terrible at her job? One, that is so adorable and makes me want to adopt that sentiment and write another fic for them (despite it being so long!). Two, it really makes me think of their relationship in a new light. It’s an interesting perspective because it’s heavily apparent that 3803 not only respects 1146, but she also looks up to the skills and dedication that he puts into his job. It’s an interesting dynamic and I hope that this relationship aspect of theirs gets explored in further chapters.

Anyway, thank you so much for the kind words and the interesting discussion! It truly opened my mind and maybe... just maybe... I might go back to CAW. The jury’s still out on that one.

Thank you, thank you so much and have a wonderful day! :D

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nautilusopus · 5 years ago

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I wrote a whole fucking review for Pokemon Shield but google ate it so I'm putting it up here and making it longer.

Pokemon SwSh is bright and shiny, but has many small systemic problems that ultimately pile up into a larger Not Fun whole. I know the easy criticism is to bring up Dexit, which I'm not happy about for a variety of reasons, but I still think they could've made a fun game in spite of that. Instead I'm going to bring up other problems the game has in the hope of having some of the game's other issues actually recognised before fans and critics alike fall into the same trap that I did. Dexit is honestly just the tip of the iceberg.

First, the good:

Trainer customisation has improved, and I'm always a sucker for the little things. Clothes are affordable once more AND come in a variety of designs, something I felt was a problem with Gen 7, and the player character model actually has facial expressions. This makes the world just a bit more fun to interact with when you're no longer a blankly-staring robot child. I often find myself spinning/doing the Leon pose just for fun because it’s nice to watch your character do something quirky and expressive like that, in the same way people are endeared to Wind Waker or BOTW Link more than Twilight Princess or Majora’s Mask Link despite both of them ostensibly being blank slates.

The curry minigame is fun even if I don’t quite understand how fanning works yet (and also another opportunity to see said facial expressions). Just a tad heartbroken I can’t import my team from previous games to play with them in camp.

Marnie's a neat concept for a rival, and one that I've personally wanted to see in the Pokemon series for a while. I'll avoid speaking about it too much for spoiler reasons, but I think most people will wind up liking her as well.

The game looks nice. Not like, astounding or anything, but the cities and towns have a lot of atmosphere baked into their design.

Lotta bangers in the soundtrack, and the presentation of gym battles as a World Cup-esque deal, complete with hyped up audience, brings a fresh, exciting take to the Pokemon League. I like the way the music changes as the battle progresses, and enjoy the little in-universe details, like the champion walking around with all his sponsors on his uniform.

WOOLOO

MY BOY TOBY FOX OUT HERE DOING GOD’S WORK, THIS SHIT SLAPS BEST TRACK 10000/10

Now for the bad:

The game feels very small and unfinished. It constantly implies cool things are happening in the background, but you never get to participate yourself, or even see them. The closest you get is your rival showing up with a news article explaining that a fun thing happened and was resolved in the time it took you to walk 100 feet. It makes the main questline feel flat and tedious, and something tells me maybe we were supposed to get to participate in literally anything, but there just wasn't time and they had to get the game out for the holiday season.

This pairs very badly with the second thing, which is that there really isn't very much to do in Pokemon SwSh. Most of what you wind up doing is backtracking. The Wilds are a neat idea in theory, but in execution they're kind of the worst part of the game. They're also, unfortunately, the biggest. It feels like there's really only two areas in the entire game -- the empty cities/towns with nothing really in them, and the giant, open-world-esque Wilds.

The Wilds themselves are nothing to write home about. Pokemon catching is gated off by level, but all areas of the wilds are available simultaneously. This means if you care about filling out the dex, you'll find yourself constantly walking back and forth between town and the same areas of the Wilds you've already been to, checking things off a list. There's less a sense of exploration, and more just a sense of wandering in circles occasionally checking the weather. And if you DON'T care about the dex, then there's literally no reason for you to constantly return to this gigantic, lovingly-modeled wasteland ever again, making the game feel even smaller as you hop from empty town to empty town, and there’s even less for you to do as a result.

The game is piss-easy, even for a Pokemon title. EXP share is always on because this game shares the same engine as Pokemon Let's Go, meaning you will be disgustingly overlevelled if you make the mistake of exploring the Wilds in between gyms the way I did, and remain that way for the entire game. I found myself throwing the fight against Opal a little bit just to hear all her dialogue. Otherwise you just oneshot everyone and everything, and all the fights start to feel samey very quickly.

Also, barren postgame. Like 30 minutes tops.

Maybe I’m a fool for expecting writing from a Pokemon game, but after Lillie from Sumo/USUM I went and got my hopes up, and Hop absolutely does not deliver. I don’t hate him like some do (Hugh is still absolutely the most annoying rival and no one will ever unseat him), but he just feels like many many missed opportunities. He feels extra redundant given Marnie’s presence on top of that.

Bad Pokemon designs. This one’s a personal gripe so it’s at the bottom of the list, but I feel like it’s still worth mentioning that I abandoned the shit out of my starter and am left with nothing to replace it with. Greedent is now my new least favourite Pokemon ever. Fuckin FNAF-ass lookin motherfucker.

As sort of a smoking gun exemplifying my point, I have 53 Revives just from wandering around in the Wilds forever. And I have 3 Hyper Potions in my entire bag and no other healing items, because the game has given me no reason to go back into town and buy anything because there’s nothing in the towns, and it’s never required me to heal because there’s really no significant battles to have either, in the story, or ones you would seek out for your own reasons.

On a personal note, I’m 7 badges into this mess and I still haven’t finalised my team because I can’t even find 6 designs I like that also result in at least a somewhat decent type coverage (or at least flashy variety of colour). To those of you that know me and my True 100% Run, that’s fucking unheard of for me.

Overall, disappointed. It's not terrible, but given how robust every other mainline title was, this is a big downgrade. Not worth $60. I've played more fleshed-out romhacks. This game reminds me more of Coliseum/XD than Gen 8's big debut. Mostly I just feel bad for the friend that bought me it.

This would just be kind of a bummer on its own, but coupled with the fact that 1. half the damn Pokemon aren’t in it and Game Freak has openly stated they plan to keep doing this and 2. in spite of that the game still felt unfinished, making you wonder what the hell they spent all their time making (Gigantamax maybe? Why? You can’t even do it in-game for the most part. At least Mega Evolution was readily available. Not to mention it won’t even be available next game. Stop making up gimmicks just to discard them), it makes me seriously concerned for the future of the franchise.

#pokemon #pokemon swsh

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anastasiaskarsgard · 5 years ago

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TO THE ANON THAT ASKED FOR A SMUTTY CHEATER BILL STORY HERE YA GO. I INITIALLY DELETED THE REQUEST BECAUSE I DONT CONDONE CHEATING BUT THEN I THOUGHT, ITS FAN FICTION. NO ONE TAKES IT SERIOUSLY AND IVE GOTTEN A FEW REQUESTS FOR THIS SO HERE YA GO.

Here’s part 1: https://anastasiaskarsgard.tumblr.com/post/188138288236/this-is-a-really-involved-request-so-im-breaking

And here is PART 2

Warning!!! Smut 18+ mature content.

As we pulled into the parking lot, everything hit me at once. I had literally witnessed my dog get murdered, the man I thought was perfect was Satan himself, I have no belongings, I don’t know anyone but Randi here. But then I remembered all the good like I was free, I’m not dead, I have the best friend in the whole world, I already found a job and got paid a lot for basically getting to be near the hottest guy ever and there’s photographic evidence, and literally the world is my oyster. I even get to go to Canada! Hayden Christensen lives there! I look over at Randi and can’t help but laugh when I see her sassy face. She is not a fan of feeling sorry for yourself. “Sorry, I’ll stop. They’re happy tears! I swear! I’m so happy I have you, and we’re going on this adventure. I’m just grateful.”

“Wow. Don’t cry Bitch. You’ll fuck up your make up.” my best friend joked.

I chuckled, and gave her a hug, then stood straight out of the car and let her lead the way to see if everyone had gotten a table together in Mortons.

We found everyone taking their seats. I took the closest open seat next to the photographer and Randi sat between Andy and Bill across from us. I didn’t want to look at Bill and have Randi give me shit, so I read the entire menu like 3 times to avoid looking up. We all ordered, and then Andy had the idea for everyone to introduce themselves:

“Ok since everyone is from all over the place, let’s do a fun little ice breaker. I’ll start. My name is Andy, I’m from the beautiful country of Argentina and I’m a Director as I’m sure you all know, let’s be more original, I know! Name your fear! I’m afraid of drowning.”

“My name is Randi, I’m from Kalamazoo Michigan, I’m an artist and I’m afraid of flying.”

“Ok hi everybody! I’m Bill, I’m from Stockholm Sweden, I’m a human and I’m afraid of being alone.”

I giggled like an idiot, froze and looked over at Randi, who was smiling at me, shaking her head. Dammit.

“My name is Barbara and I’m Andy’s sister, and I am afraid of creepy crawly things.”

“I’m Maria from Brazil, I am photographer and I fear bad lighting and flaky models. Thank goodness for Liv appearing like magic and save the day.” She smiled at me warmly and squeezed my hand.

I felt everyone’s eyes on me, and could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I couldn't bear to look at Bill or Randi, so I stared down in my lap and could feel my face heating up. “I’m Liv from Las Vegas, I guess I’m a model for now and I’m afraid of being a failure, velociraptors, roller coasters, centipedes and public speaking.” I chuckled uncomfortably. I ramble when I’m nervous.

“I’m afraid of velociraptors as well,” Bill laughed. “Jurassic Park ruined me as a child.”

Everyone laughed heartily at Bill’s expense but I felt appreciative of him making my ridiculous fear seem more credible and drawing attention away from my obvious nervousness. I snuck a peek at him and he winked at me playfully.

I didn't know what to think of this beautiful man. My initial reaction to him had been negative. He seemed like every other snobby Hollywood type, complete with crazy girl problems, but as the day progressed, he surprised me over and over with how genuine he seemed to be.

As lunch went on, Randi and Maria were talking technical terms, so Bill and I looked at each other and just smiled and shrugged our shoulders. It wasn't like we were being ignored, just everyone except us was wrapped up in their own conversations. I was content with that too, but then an ice cube flew into my cleavage.

My eyes shot open and I observed a very amused Bill trying to contain his laughter but not doing a very good job.

”I promise I’m not an asshole. I have just been trying to get your attention since we got here. So how long you been in LA?” He asked me like i was the most interesting thing he’d ever encountered.

”What time is it? Less than 24 hours.”

His eyes went wide and he choked on his drink a bit, then began to laugh at himself . ”wow, and you already booked a major job? Who is your agent? Are you an actress or just gorgeous... I mean a model.”

”you are super smooth Bill. I’m kidding! Don’t pout you’ll get wrinkles.” I had to give him some shit. “I don’t have an agent because I don’t have any interest in fame at all.”

He looked impressed by that for some reason. ”so what brought you here?”

”Randi is my best friend, and I needed a change of scenery.” I said making sure to avoid eye contact. I knew I was just being paranoid, but I felt like he could look into my soul, with the intensity he was looking at me with. I’m a terrible liar, so I’m convinced if I look at him, he’ll see I’m not being honest. I didn't want to mention the literal hell id escaped to be here.

I could still feel his gaze on me, and I caught Andy looking between us with an unreadable expression. He's a director so he probably can read people really well.

Shit. I’m probably just being my normal neurotic psycho self. No one probably gives two shits about me, and this is all in my head. These people are famous and successful. I’m just another one of the millions of girls that they encounter in LA.

Maria tapped my shoulder. “Hi honey, can you switch seats with your friend? I want to show some my work?”

I smiled and agreed, but the butterflies in my stomach were going crazy as I took my seat by Bill. He was texting so I got my phone out to play a game or two. Suddenly I felt Bill’s leg press up against mine. I looked over at him, but he just continued with his phone, but was clearly smirking. Just then The food arrived and I was famished, so all other thoughts were abandoned.

“Wow! You eat real food!” Andy exclaimed.

“Oh it’s not fair! Liv has always eaten whatever she wants and doesn’t gain a pound.” Randi whined.

I blushed feeling all the attention on myself again. I wanted to fade into my surroundings like a chameleon. “I like to eat.”

I looked at Bill and he was off his phone but I could tell he was watching me as he ate.

“What?” I asked finally, when he didn’t stop looking at me.

“You’re very interesting.” He said.

“How?” I scoffed.

“Well for starters you’re drop dead gorgeous but you don’t like being the center of attention. Am I right?”

“I wouldn’t go with drop dead gorgeous, maybe conventionally attractive. There’s not really anything wrong with me, but there’s nothing to write home to your mother about either.”

He chuckled. “See? There you go again. You’re humble and funny too.”

I could feel my face burning so I excused myself to go use the restroom, but Bill said he’d show me where it was since he needed to smoke and make some calls.

I was fully aware where it was, but agreed and figured I’d let him show me. He turned before we reached the bathroom and he opened a door that appeared to almost blend in to the wall, revealing a very plush, luxurious bathroom with a large vanity.

“Oh my gosh is this like the Secret VIP potty?” I asked. I had always heard about secret lounges and VIP cool stuff so I was ecstatic to actually see one. I probably seemed like such a dork but I didn’t care.

“Something like that.” He said following me inside and locking the door behind him. I turned around to tell him there only appeared to be one toilet, when he took a couple steps and closed the distance between us and kissed me, pinning me against the wall.

He pulled back and looked down into my eyes, “I’ve wanted to do this since I saw you.” He said deepening the kiss again.

I stepped aside to move out from under him and caught my breath. “Your girlfriend though!”

“It’s over with her. It’s been stale a long time” He said as he wrapped his arm around my waist. “Don’t worry, I'm sick of her. I much rather have you. Do you have a boyfriend?” He pulled me against him again and my God the man was so good looking.

“Nope. I’d have kicked you if I did, I’m not a cheater.” I couldn’t believe his lips were on me. I tried to think and get ahold of myself and be rational, but as he kissed down my neck and groped my breasts, it was getting hard to remember why this wasn’t the best idea ever.

“. Listen, you’re very attractive Bill. Like best looking guy I’ve ever seen attractive, and I’m flattered, but we should get back. They’re gonna wonder.”

“This dress is killing me though, and youre so so beautiful.” He groaned lustilly, as he slowly slid my dress’ strap down, continuing his way down, kissing down my throat to my chest. He exposes my breast and looks up to make sure I wasn’t going to object, but when I just bit my lip, he placed his mouth on my nipple, suckling at my breast. He releases it with a popping sound, and slips a hand under my skirt, rubbing me through my panties, as he sucksin a breath through his teeth, before going for my other breast. This motherfucker is gonna kill me. How can one man be so hot and what did I do in a past life to deserve this shit? Seriously universe? How do I carry on knowing his tongue was on my nipple?

He hiked my skirt up to brush his fingertips across my folds. He bit my bottom lip and then pulled his hand out from under my skirt, and sensually tasted his fingers before leading me to the large round cushioned ottoman at the vanity, trying to get me to sit.

“What are you up to? You’re - this is so bad.” I tell him as he pushes me down lightly as he kisses me passionatly.

He looked deep in my eyes. “Please let me taste you and make you feel good. I don’t expect anything from you and I don’t do this type of thing ever, but I’ve honestly never wanted to see what someone tastes like more in my life.”

FUCK. Who in the hell could say no to that?

All I could do is nod, too shocked to fully comprehend that this was really happening.

He got on his knees in front of me and I couldn’t help but admire his gorgeous features. As crazy as it sounds, he had the most beautiful bone structure; severe and angular, yet it was offset by his big green eyes with their long sweeping lashes, luscious plump full lips, and adorable perfect little child-like nose. His hair was silky and thick and he smelled like mint and soap.

I watched as he pulled my underwear off and placed them in his pocket, before leaning me back with one hand, as the other lifted my dress. He bit my inner thigh gently, but still sent a thrill up my spine causing me to visibly shudder.

“I haven’t even started yet,” he smirked up at me cockily, before pressing his mouth to my sex before I had time to reply. I’d had my pussy eaten before, but nothing like this. There was no sign of nervousness or insecurity that some men display when they go down there. Like you can tell they’re not sure what the fuck to do, but Bill was sure of himself and seemed to genuinely love doing it. He was so enthusiastic and it felt so amazing. I never had done something like this in my life, and wouldn’t even kiss on a first date, yet here I am. I was scandalized and aroused, and so close to an orgasm it was shocking.

“You gonna cum for me baby?. I love how you look right now.... Cum on my face.... please?” He pleaded and pushed another finger inside of me. I couldn’t look at him. It was all too much.

I let out a moan as he moved his fingers and tongue in such a combined effort, that I reached out and gripped his hair, pressing his face against me as my release crashed down on me, violently shaking me, and making everything go white, as it wound down. It was seriously one of the most intense orgasms I’ve ever had, and it took me longer than a polite amount of time to realize I was still holding his face, and immediately released him”I’m so sorry, I didn't realize I- .”

“Sshhh.” He said chuckling and came up and kissed me deeply. “Can you taste yourself on me?”

I nodded shyly, looking away to break eye contact. He was so intense and I wasn’t sure what he would want me to do to return the favor.

He put his finger under my chin and pulled my face back over to look in his eyes. “You’re beautiful.”

I looked back at him, waiting to see what he did next. I was surprised he wasn't taking his pants off, but was too shy to try and take them off myself. I really wanted to though, and that surprised me. I wanted him to fuck me and wasn’t going to think about it, just do it. Like Nike.

He stood up and helped me to my feet, and helped smooth my dress out. He pulled me into another kiss and I could feel how excited he was.

“Let me make you feel nice now.” I mentally scolded myself for saying something so not sexy but just looked up at him with my best doe eyed look.

“You’re so cute. Don’t worry about me, just yet. I don’t want a quickie in a bathroom with you, I want like a bed and many. many. hours. I want to impress you.”

“I’m fucking impressed Bill.”

He chuckled and bit his lip, and you could see the wheels turning. “I really want to fuck you but I also don’t wanna be too long and full disclosure, Andy threatened serious bodily harm not to touch you. Said you’re a heartbreaking man eater.”

“Randi advised me to avoid you because you’re a foreign actor that’s too good looking for his own good. You’re obviously a monster.”

We both got a good laugh out of that.

“What’s your phone number?” He asked taking out his phone.

“I don’t currently have one. I need to get one. I lost mine yesterday.”

He looked at me incredulously. “If you don’t want to give me your number it’s ok.”

“No. Take Randi’s number, that’s the phone I was using earlier anyways, that way you can call, cuz I don’t have a pen or anything.”

“How about your email, and then you can send me your number when you get it. Randi might catch on if I call her phone.”

“You’re so smart! You’ll see me in a week on your new movie too.”

“Really? That’s the best news I got all day but if you think I’m waiting a week to be inside you, you’re insane. Now go, just say I went to smoke and make calls if they ask where I am. I’ll give it a couple minutes.”

I gave him my email and walked out the door to go try and act like the hottest fucking thing to ever happen in my life, didn’t just go down. When I turned the corner, I nearly threw up and cane to a screeching halt. I met eyes with the estranged exgirlfriend. I didn’t wanna seem weird so I smiled and sat down to finish my meal, since turning around and running the other direction might bad. I mean as far as I was concerned he was single, so I had no reason to feel guilty of anything. And I didn’t plan on admitting that happened to anyone, so not telling her was totally fine. She tapped on my arm and I cautiously turned to her.

“Did you see Bill by chance?” She asked politely.

“He said he was smoking and making some important calls when he left the table earlier.”

She laughed a little and rolled her eyes, “that man and his cigarettes! I blame Hemlock Grove for turning him into a chainsmoker. He’s probably smoked two or three in a row.”

“All this talk about smoking makes me want one, I’ll go find him. Excuse me ladies.” Andy said, as he quickly walked towards the exit to find Bill.

“He’s probably going to warn Bill that I’m here. We got in a fight earlier and he can be such a brat. Watch when he comes back, he’ll pretend like nothing happened.”

Maybe she didn’t realize he really was done with her. She had a funny accent so I assumed she’s Swedish too. He was probably her only friend out here so I couldn’t help but pity her.

“Between silent treatments and smoking, Bill would be dead by morning.” Randi said with a mischievous wink.

“Oh if you could see his hissy fits, they’re the worst!” She enthused. “Anything in his hands he’ll throw and if it’s something like a sandwich or drinks and won’t hurt you, he’ll throw it on you. But then if I try and ignore him, he’ll lay on me like a big dead weight until I speak.” His girlfriend said, laughing hysterically. Everyone joined in telling stories of past boyfriends that were grown men, having varying degrees of tantrums, but I just sat silently. My ex story wasn’t funny.

Andy and Bill came back and I could feel an anxiety attack creeping up on me.

I looked up and Bill was staring at me and I looked to Randi and she had a puzzled look on her face. In an effort to not give anything away to her, my eyes shot back up to Bill.

Bill looked furious. He seethed animosity and I just looked down at my plate to avoid that glare. I wasn't sure if I was the cause or she was, but I desperately wanted to run out of the place screaming and looked at Randi again pleading with my eyes to go. She seemed to catch on and I tried to keep it together.

His ex got up and rushed over to him. Just as I looked up, she planted a soft kiss on his cheek. My eyes narrowed involuntarily as he glanced over at me, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. His girlfriend grabbed his face and kissed him right on the lips.

I felt like I was going to throw up. Tears threatened to spill but I held them back as I stared at my lap. I kept seeing Bill’s eyes as he looked up at me from between my legs. Flashes of him pinning me to the wall, or oh my fucking god! My underwear are in his pocket!

My pussy is on his face too and he just kissed her.

He seemed so genuine, but he was an actor, what did I expect. Faking Feelings and emotions was how he paid the bills. I couldn’t believe how stupid and guillable I was! He probably got off on this shit. Poor woman. I was exaggerating when I’d said he was a monster but goddammit I was right!!!

”Ok thank you for inviting us and I can't wait to see whoever is going to join us in Toronto, but Liv and I must be off for an important appointment and then packing.” Randi said her goodbyes as I walked around the table and stood beside her, keeping my back to Bill.

”Bye everybody. I had fun” I said Sweetly and then I turned on my heel and walked past Bill without a glance.

”See you two in Toronto.” Bill called after us, and even though I refused to look at him, I could feel his eyes burning into my back as we walked away.

#bill skarsgard #bill skarsgård #bill skarsgard au #bill skarsgard asks #my writing

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ch-sy · 6 years ago

Text

It's taken me like 6 years to realize that some men just really ain't shit

I haven't been able to talk about this to anyone in my RL about this because of my social circle and knowing it would cause a bad situation to spiral out worse but I gotta go off sis..

So, almost like 2 years ago I was living in a rented house with my boyfriend and our two roommates (who were also guys.) ONE of these roommates was really chill and like, minded his own business and didn't cause any shit or anything. My boyfriend and I were really comfortable living with him pretty much right off. But the 2nd one was literally one of the most twisted, conniving motherfuckers I have ever had the misfortune of crossing paths with in my entire life. Just for starters, we didn't know this guy had killed someone before. A really long story short, his house had been broken into before because someone found out he had a safe in it with like 10k stashed. So they tried robbing him in the middle of the night-- he winded up shooting one of them and killing the guy. Anyways, we didn't know about this until like 3 months after he had moved in.. well.. then he started acting really nice toward me and from my boyfriend's perspective on things, started either giving him the cold shoulder or he would almost be fakely nice to him.

This motherfucker spent like almost 5 months trying to drive a wedge between me and my boyfriend, he tried to get me fucked up on ecstasy when we went on a beach trip to try and take advantage of me while my boyfriend wasn't there because he was working all weekend. Once he realized he couldn't get me he literally got together with one of my BEST FRIENDS and coworkers to try and piss me off (it worked, but only because by then I knew exactly what he was doing and even tried warning her that he was.) She didn't listen, and once he realized that he wasn't getting to me he started treating her terrible and cheated on her cause he's a real winner. By the end of things, my boyfriend and I decided the living situation was entirely too toxic and we broke our lease just to get away from him. The scumbag waited until my boyfriend wasn't home one day working and I was off to have his friend come over and help him pack his shit up, while they were in his room lowkey yelling about shooting all of us over it. We got out of the house and thankfully, we haven't seen shitstick again. Thank u, next

So NOW.. we're in a living situation with my boyfriend's co-worker, who at first- once again, seemed really chill mind you. I met his wife long before we moved in and we all got along really well, I thought it would be nice to live with another chick too.. whatever.

Over the past few weeks, his wife and I have gotten really close with each other so she's started opening up to me when talking about things. She told me that she's never been in a situation where her husband acts so cruel and distant to her. That he's changed a lot just over the past few weeks--like so much to the point she says he's a completely different person and it's getting so bad that she's starting to want a divorce. She's starting to resent him for it.

New Year's this year, he got entirely too wasted and shoved her into the dirt out in our yard. Two guys who were over here got pissed and one of them swung on him for it (because you don't lay your hands on a female like that, especially not your wife?) Our roommate proceeded to call her his bitch while he was trying to fight these two friends of his (that are no longer his friend's after this incident, mind you.) It was a really fucked up night. I winded up threatening him and telling him if he ever hurt her again that I would do it to him and it was going to be 1000 times worse and had to console her to calm her down for like an hour.

He started acting right again for like a week, after that and then went back to treating his wife like shit. And me and her are really close now so everytime I see her upset over the shit he does, I get pissed off..

Something registered the other day from the incident with our first shitty roommate and I've started picking up on some things:

1. He didn't start acting this way until after we moved in (she's somewhat noticed this- my boyfriend has noticed this and thinks if we have anything to do with it, its that our roomie is jealous of our relationship because honestly we really do have an extremely stable one) like, for example: I get kinda annoyed when my boyfriend has to work late. I was never like that before but I'm 6 months pregnant and so, like.. I need him around more than ever right now. He's understanding of this and so a lot of the time when I ask for him to come home, he does. Our roommate came in one day after this happened and was like "how come it's that she gets mad when her man isn't home but mine doesn't give a shit- what is that?" And we just kinda laughed it off because I figured he was just making fun of me for bitching.. but like, he does it all the time and I've picked up on it a lot more.

He's constantly comparing me and his wife, he came in one day long before my boyfriend got off work because my boyfriend is a foreman so he usually has to stay later than the others, and was like "there's a bunch of beautiful women in MY house" and it kinda rubbed me wrong when he said it, but once again, I wrote it off as nothing.

By now, our roommate and his wife are fighting almost every night. He's started refusing to take care of their 7 month old child unless she bitches him out to or begs him to (and--that's your fucking child bro, nobody should have to beg you to take care of your little girl.) He's been lowkey doing things to like, assert his dominance over his wifw I guess. It's really fucked up, like one day me and my boyfriend were gonna drop her off at work cause her car is broke and a lot of the time she has to walk.. and one day when we offered, he winded up calling us to be like "im home now so don't worry about taking her, I got it" and then PROCEEDED TO MAKE HER WALK TO WORK CAUSE "IT WAS A NICE DAY" girl I wanted to punch him in his face right then once I found out. To top this all off, she thinks he might be cheating now.

It's just collectively a bunch of shit that can't be ignored and I don't know how to deal with it. It's not my relationship but it's starting to affect me and my boyfriend's because they work together and our roommate has been doing so much fucked up shit lately (and seeing how he treats his wife) makes me paranoid about my boyfriend even being around him. Not because I don't trust him, but because I don't trust our roommate anymore.

And now I'm highkey wondering if he's got some sort of bullshit thing for me because of what's happened before. It's like weird flex but ok but I'm being serious.

I don't know if I should tell my boyfriend that I think it might be a possibility and we need to move out or not. It's a catch 22 because I could tell him and possibly ruin their friendship and work relationship (maybe for just being paranoid) or I could just not say anything, wait it out and possibly allow my friend's relationship to deteriorate. I know it's not really my problem and regardless of any of it--if he's that kind of person, it won't last anyway because he's a shithead and his true colors are coming out..

Either way, this entire situation has got me stressed out as fuck, I don't feel comfortable living here anymore and I'm pregnant and shouldn't be dealing with anymore stress than I already have to. I dont know what to do or I'm supposed to do cause..

#i just needed to get it out honestly #ive been losing it over the past 3 days #but also help #i need unbiased opinion asap

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jjinomu · 7 years ago

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how did you get into editing pmd models? you're super good at them, and i'm considering taking it up. i was wondering, how/where did you pick it up?

oh boi oh geez where do i even begin omg (long post so i chucked the rest under the cut)

first thank you for your compliment hehe i really appreciate that!! but hmmm well- i started editing pmd/pmx models like aaaaaages ago i dont even remember much but generally for most beginners, lots of people tend to recolour (i mean i did it too when i first started hehe shout out to my zatsune model edit of animasa miku phew gud ol’ days) which is totally okay especially if you’re just figuring out how like colours/textures work and the whole material panel/subsets/i’m saying-weird-terminology-that-you-probably-don’t-get-yet pretty much all the tools and what they do that’s totally okay hehe once you poke around it for a while, you’ll get use to which tool does what and that’s all gud (i recommend getting the english translated version of PMDeditor (or PMX- i use PMX) because that’ll save you a lot of time (i use the japanese version because i’m weird and dumb and i’m still trying to figure stuff out myself to this day)

after that phase of recolouring (normally i wouldn’t recommend staying in this for long like, i recoloured 1 model and moved on straight away HAHA) at this point one of the most common and main styles of editing for starters is taking editable (or ‘legal’) parts from other models that allow editing (make sure stuff is editable before you do anything or you could get in trouble), and then piecing it together to form your own cool new model edit yeyeye, there should be plenty of tutorials how to do this and how to avoid glitches with joints/physics/bones and stuff so if you want, just hmu privately and i can quest for some for you, but it shouldn’t be too difficult to find!!

usually lots of people generally stay in that area of editing which is totally chill as well, with practice and constant improvement you could like reach some good levels of work from just part-editing itself, ive seen it happen many many times!!

otherwise the other option you could go down is what i generally do nowadays for editing- and that’s i guess, ‘modelling parts’ (which is what most people call it) or ‘meta-editing’- it involves pretty much, chucking a base into an external 3D program to build clothes/your own parts and then re-rig it entierly again in PMXeditor (i’m a lil tired asf but i have a tutorial tab on my tumblr page where i go more in depth on this and where to start if this is what you wanna do) thoUGH keep in mind, it’s probably best you get use to using PMX and all the terminolgy and such before anything or else it’ll be like what whAT WHat

personally i think that this ‘meta-editing’ method is almost the more easier and safer route, though when you’re starting out it’s like ‘MmMM shit’ but trust me it’s…. imo it’s easier than part-editing (because i used to do that too) mostly because 1. you just make your shit rather than find it (sometimes some parts aren’t even ever made) and 2. you avoid breaking rules completely because heck ur doing it 100% urself wat are rules (aside from obviously your base model’s rules haha)

i forgot what else i wanted to say um

oh yeah well- this is like the basic of the basic explanations, i need you to be more specific if you want me to teach you stuff but the least i can do now is give you a brief overview?? but das it ehe

otherwise some tips i’d like to mention as well which have nothing to do with the actual practice, are as follows:

#1 tip: that i donnn’t think i’ve ever preached on this blog before but i might as well start bc it’s important!!! try ur best to remain humble/modest watever- honestly i think….. if you start thinking you’re some God level editor or watever that’s when…… improvement kinda halts……. so even though it might be kinda ehhh, be a little harsh on yourself- you’re your own critic and it’s better to recognise your faults before someone else points them out for you (because that can hurt heaps, but i mean if u hate urself first nobody else can amirITE AMIRITE i’m kidding don’t hate urself)

i, for one am always very horrible to myself with my edits- like i dislike a looot of them which is actually kinda terrible LMAOO so i don’t recommend like hating everything you do because that ruins the fun- and sometimes it might even push you to stop entirely (i’ve known friends that have quit because they couldn’t get it right etc.) as long as you realise that whatever you do currently isn’t going to be as great as what you do later in life, then you’re like guranteed to improve no doubt about it- in a way, you’re not putting any limitations on yourself so you can grow from that! just continue to persevere, some people don’t improve until a looot later and some people improve like within weeks- so don’t let that get to you either!!! i’ve been doing this shit for like ages and i still am not as good as like actual modellers because i’ve just…. been too comfortable and improved only as an editor askdajsk

#2 tip: do not compare yourself to others especially when you’re first starting out- i’ve had…… quite a number of people compare themselves to me which is….. to say the least……. quite uncomfortable for the person you’re comparing yourself to??? because you gotta keep in mind how long people have been doing stuff (like this is my 6th year and literally everyday i’ve opened up PMX or metasequoia and i’ve toyed around for at least an hour) and idk just try not to compare yourself- because i know it’s kinda difficult not to but trust me, try to walk your own path you can create your own shit without necassarily comparing- unless you’re comparing to improve yourself whiiich leads me to my #3 tip

#3 tip: do not be afraid to mimic styles or toy with styles, i mean do not claim a certain style as your own that’s a HUGE nono, but it doesn’t hurt to like attempt to mimic someone who you look up to, and their style in order to help you improve and find your own style!! i personally mimic artists (rather than MMDers/editors) when i do my edits and then i started to develop my own kinda style??? like i still do a lot of imitation ‘edits’ which are those anime edits you see every now and again (like my yoi models or my binan models) and that’s fine!!! i think the most improvement i’ve ever had in terms of face-editing and stuff have come from me trying to imitate art of others (instead of just blindly going for my own style from the getgo) and this goes for drawing too!!! hell i still ‘mimic’ styles whenever i do any edits that have already an art design for?? i like accuracy first and then i play my style into it later and that’s totally cool too!! as long as you correctly credit and don’t claim as your own, you can’t really go much wrong (unless the person is like hey? can u pls stop? then ya don’t HAHA) i once had an incident back when i was a baby editor where i,,,,,,, kind of recreated someone else’s style of model edit line into like a different model style (in this case it was LAT so that’s how long ago it was) and then redistributed without their prior permission and ya that was bad don’t do that HAHA

and ya that should be it, i wrote this like 60 years ago and it’s been sitting in my drafts and i totally forgot about it until today so i hope that helps ya out!!

#fearboss #longpost #tips #notmmd #ask

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abbygkane · 8 years ago

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So, I was in class and all I could think was drunk Marcus trying to hit on Abby... No wonder I'm failing my classes!

*snorts* That’s a hilarious image! And I know that you didn’t mean to send this message as a prompt or anything, but it did get me thinking and I maybe, kind of, did write something! So hey, if you are failing your classes, at least you have inspired this little thing ^^ I’m totally kidding btw, I’m sure you’re not failing them I BELIEVE IN YOU

Also special thanks to those who messaged/commented with pick-up lines

Marcus is drunk, he knows he is. To be fair, when he decided to drop by their makeshift bar with Indra after their final meeting, he had only intended to have one drink. Just the one after a long day to unwind a little bit or at least to attempt to unwind. Indra had already left some time ago, but somehow one mug of moonshine had turned into another and then another with Bellamy and the rest of his ‘children’, as Abby affectionately and teasingly called them.

Although both he and Abby knew that they’re anything but children, but still, it’s a nice thought to have.

That he, Marcus Kane, the man who never expected to see the ground or to be a father as a matter of fact, suddenly has a group of young people who respect him, who actively seek him out and ask for his advice. Who perhaps look up to him, even with all his flaws and even though he’ll never admit it, their almost casual amiability towards him means more to Marcus than he could ever express without fumbling his words or tearing up.

But to get back to the point, Marcus knows that he’s drunk. He might not be that far gone that he doesn’t know what he’s saying or doing, but the moonshine has created an enough buzz for him to feel both slightly more relaxed and know that he’ll probably have an impressive headache tomorrow morning. However, as he takes a glance around the table and takes in the good-humored chatter and laughter, Marcus realises that he’ll happily endure tomorrow’s hangover.

To be honest, he doesn’t entirely know what they’re all talking about. To his right, he can hear snippets of what sounds to be a highly technical conversation between Raven, Monty and Harper. Across from him Octavia and Jasper are talking about something. While to his left, he believes that Bellamy, Nathan and Bryan are discussing the newest guard trainees. Or that’s at least what they were talking about a couple of minutes ago when Bellamy had asked for his opinion on Ben, one of the newbies.

Marcus is just content to sit among them and to regularly give his input or opinion on a certain subject. He’s just in the middle of helping Raven translating something from Trigedasleng when he sees from the corner of his eye Octavia nudging Jasper, who starts laughing before whispering something into Monty’s ear, causing the other boy to chuckle as well and in his turn mumbles something to Harper. Marcus watches how she leans into Bryan and soon enough the entire table is grinning and staring at him.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing. It’s just that your wife just walked in”, Jasper cheekily replies, his smirk growing when Marcus nearly chokes on his moonshine.

“My wi- wife? What are you talking about Jasper? I don’t have a wife?”, he retorts, his voice coming out slightly strangled.

“I think Jasper was referring to Abby”, Bellamy kindly offers, while softly patting him on the back taking pity on him.

He won’t deny that the alcohol is making it difficult for him to think, but Marcus would like to think that he’d remember marrying Abby. Oh yes, he’d definitely remember, because marriage would mean them kissing and other stuff, and just imagining kissing Abby is making him blush, all though he could probably blame that on the moonshine if anyone noticed or bothered to comment on it.

“Well, perhaps not officially”, Nathan murmurs.

“We’re not even together”, he objects.

“And who’s fault is that?”, Octavia retorts with a raised eyebrow.

“I – I mean,” Marcus stammers before clearing his throat, “It’s not that easy. Abby’s and mine’s past, I - I’ve done things”, he murmurs, staring into his mug.

“We’ve all done things we wish we could take back. Besides, you’ve changed”, Bellamy quietly replies and in his tone Marcus can clearly hear the guilt the boy carries with him, a guilt he himself knows all too well.

“Yeah. Besides from all the looks she’s been giving you, I don’t think Doctor Griffin would mind”, Harper comments.

His eyes widen, “Looks?”

Raven rolls her eyes, “Please don’t tell me you haven’t noticed. She’s been undressing you with her eyes for quite some time”

“Really?”

“Kane please. If we still had dictionaries and you’d look up ‘eye-sex’, there would be a picture of you two next to it”, the mechanic claims with another eye roll.

“Really?!”

“Well, there’s no time like the present”, Jasper states before standing up and shouting, “Hey Doctor G, there’s a seat for you here if you want to”

“Jasper, sit down! What do you think you’re doing?”, Marcus hisses, leaning forward while motioning him to sit down.

“Helping you”, the boy shrugs as he lets himself fall down on his seat again, enjoying the blush that appears on Marcus’ cheeks and the rest of the table softly snickers.

“What am I supposed to say?”

“Just flirt!”, Octavia replies.

“Do I look like someone who knows how to flirt?”, he deadpans.

The silence that falls over the table is awkward and kind of painful, and if Marcus were less drunk it might have hurt his feelings, at least a little bit, but right now he’s more concerned about the fact that Abby’s on her way and he has absolutely no idea how to handle himself.

I mean he already has enough trouble making sure he doesn’t act like a total fool hopelessly in love with her when he’s sober, never mind when he’s drunk.

“How about some one-liners?”, Monty offers after a couple of seconds, and Jasper immediately nods his agreement.

“Some what?”

“You know pick-up lines, conversation starters”, the boy explains when Marcus continues to look at him like he’s talking gibberish.

“Yeah, for example; Do you have a map? ‘Cause I keep getting lost in your eyes”, Jasper enthusiastically exclaims, ignoring the soft groans from the others, “Oh, or what about this one; Did you just fart? Because you blew me away!”, he continues with a gigantic grin plastered on his face.

“Ugh, that one’s terrible Jasper”, Raven groans as she hides her face behind her hands, slightly shaking her head.

“How about a doctor related one? Oh no, I’m choking. I need mouth to mouth, quick!!”, he jokes while wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner and everyone just burst out in laughter, even Marcus is unable to keep a straight face.

“Dude, you’re the worst”, Monty chuckles, but he claps him good-heartedly on the back.

They’re all still laughing and sipping their drinks when Marcus feels a hand settling on his shoulder.

“Sounds like you’re all enjoying yourselves.”

Marcus turns his head towards Abby, “Hi”, he greets her with a broad smile.

“Hi”

He keeps staring at her with a silly smile plastered on his face and Abby’s starting to look a bit confused by his behaviour when Jasper loudly clears her throat and she turns her attention towards him. Although she doesn’t retract her hand from his shoulder, an action Marcus is acutely aware of.

Although she doesn’t retract her hand from his shoulder, an action Marcus is acutely aware of.

“Yes, Jasper?”

“Marcus has something to ask you”, the boy says, looking way too smug.

“Oh?”, Abby replies while giving his shoulder an almost imperceptible squeeze.

Marcus throws Jasper a glare, which apparently loses its efficiency after three mugs of moonshine, if the boy’s grin is anything to go on by, before glancing up at Abby.

“Why don’t we go somewhere else?”, he proposes while rising from his seat, inwardly giving himself a pat on the shoulder when he manages to do so with only the smallest of stumbles.

“Okay”, Abby frowns, but she wordlessly follows him as he starts to move to an empty table to their right.

“Is something wrong?”, she can’t help but ask as they sit down.

“Oh no, everything’s fine. I just thought we could talk without getting stared at”, he reassures her.

“You sure? Because you seemed to be enjoying yourself”, she jests.

“Oh, I’m positive I’ll enjoy myself even more with just you”, he murmurs suggestively, not missing the look of surprise that crosses her face.

“Jasper said there was something you wanted to ask me?”, Abby asks after a couple of seconds.

“Ah, yes”, he breaths, clearing his throat, “That”

He takes several deep breaths, trying to work up the courage to follow’s Monty’s and Jasper’s advice. Which to be fair is something Marcus never thought he’d ever do.“Do you have an inhaler? Because you certainly took my breath away”, he blurts out.

“Marcus, what-”, Abby starts, but he quickly cuts her off.

“There must be something with my eyes because I can’t seem to take them off you”, he rambles on, panicking when she stares at him with her mouth slightly agape.

“Hey, your body is 75% water and I’m thirsty”, he jabbers, only to visibly wince as soon as he realises how simply awful that one had sounded.

Abby bit back a laugh, “Marcus are you drunk?”

“I’m not drunk, I’m merely intoxicated by you”, he winks, relaxing a little bit and giving her a tiny grin when she starts to giggle.

“Marcus”, she laughs, “If I didn’t know better I’d think you were flirting with me!”

Grin disappearing from his face, he nervously scratches his beard.

“Uhm. I am, actually”, he stammers, trying to look anywhere but Abby’s radiant smile. “Or at least, I’m trying to flirt with you. To be honest, I’m not that good at it, especially not with you. And the moonshine doesn’t really help either.”

“Oh”, Abby exhales.

“Yeah”, Marcus shrugs, trying his very best not to fidget under her gaze, but honestly, if the ground opened up beneath him and swallowed him whole, he wouldn’t mind it at all.

“This is quite the surprise”

“But perhaps not an unwelcome one?”, he hints, a hopeful note clear in his voice.

The smile Abby bestows on him is bright and tender, “Not unwelcome at all”

“Although your pick-up lines do need some work”, she teases.

Letting out an embarrassed groan, Marcus lets his head fall into his hands. “I’m so sorry for those. This was all Jasper’s idea”

“What you flirting with me?”

“What? No no. The pick-up lines. The flirting was Octavia’s idea, I mean-”, he stammers, but rushes to explain when Abby raises an eyebrow.

“She suggested it, but I wanted to. I really did, trust me, I’ve been wanting to for a while now and –”, he falters when he notices the small smile on her face, “I’m messing this up aren’t I? I’m such an idiot”, he sighs before closing his eyes.

Finally deciding to take pity on him, Abby moves forward and grabs one of his hands before intertwining their fingers.

“But you’re my idiot”, she teases and nearly giggles at how quickly his head snaps up and their eyes lock.

She starts to gently run her thumb across his hand.

“How about you try again, tomorrow? Perhaps over dinner? But sober this time?”, Abby calmly proposes, her eyes dancing with mirth.

Marcus nearly falls off his stool, “You mean like a date?”

“As in me”, pointing at himself, “and you?”, he gestures at her, looking absolutely flabbergasted at the possibility of her even wanting to go on a date with him.

“Yes, with you”, Abby replies, laughter clear in her voice, shaking her head at the look on his face. By moving her head, her ponytail bounces back and forward. Now sober Marcus would have been able to restrain himself, tipsy Marcus however, not so much.

So without even thinking about it, he leans forward before reaching out and twirling some strands of hair around his fingers, getting used to the feel of her silky hair between his fingers.

He’s not sure, but Marcus thinks that he can hear her letting out a soft gasp at their sudden proximity.

“I’d like that”, he murmurs, his voice low as he gently tugs on her hair and watches how Abby’s eyes briefly flicker to his mouth.

Eyes widening, it’s her turn to look surprised and Marcus nearly tells her that she’s looking absolutely adorable, but he manages to bite it back because even tipsy Marcus knows that Abby probably wouldn’t appreciate being called adorable.

“Okay, then”, Abby murmurs, “It’s a date.”

Marcus can merely nod his head in response and Abby gives him a shy smile before quickly leaning in and placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

“I’ll see you tomorrow”, she whispers in his ear before rising from her seat and walking away.

As he watches her leave, still feeling a bit flustered by the kiss and by the whole conversation in general, Marcus can hear the kids laughing and whistling from behind him.

Smiling into his mug, he takes another sip before a staggering thought crossing his mind, he was going a date with Abby tomorrow but he has absolutely no idea what to do.

#lore writes #kabby #marcus kane #abby griffin #the 100 #kabbysource #kabbyfam #kabbytrash #kabbykru #kabby ff #skyparents #otp let's call it hope

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