#honestly i had intended to go way more in depth in how i did this but then went: eugh coming out blegh

[thesovereignsequelthirst]

First post upon this blog

Warning- Slightly spicy

[dearsnow]

THIS CAN WORK

- as you’re trying to forget about him, the man who broke your heart shows up at your doorstep. or in which jake gets yelled at by the entire hard deck. (jake “hangman” seresin x fem!reader, angst -> fluff, reading part 1 is probably a good idea but idk if it’s 100% necessary)

PART 1

word count: 2,032

a/n - the official part 2 is here!! thank you for all the love part 1 got <3 i’m not personally the biggest jake fan but writing this was honestly so fun. i loved exploring the softer and more insecure parts of his personality, so i may have more planned for him in the future 👀

It’s been two days since Jake cut you out of his life, and to say you’ve been devastated is an understatement. You still have his shirts and his stupid nighttime noise maker, and with them, the lingering feeling of his touch on your skin. You’ve already texted to let him know that you’ll drop off his things later, but he has yet to respond. It’s like he’s dropped off the face of the Earth. Good, you think. Let him. But he better at least wipe any memory of himself from your thoughts first.

You’re trying your best to forget, you really are. You took down the pictures of him that hung on your wall, right by your bed, and you’ve shoved the pillow that holds the faint scent of his cologne into the depths of your closet, and the photos of him on your phone are sitting in the recently deleted album. It’s better this way, you tell yourself. You need to get him off your mind as soon as possible and move on to better things, better people. Like a stubborn stain, his presence remains.

But you still want him like you’ve never wanted a single thing before, and it makes you sick.

Jake had never felt worse in his life. As soon as he saw you walking away, he regretted it, but if there’s one thing Jake Seresin hates, it is being wrong. His friends called him every synonym for wrong in the dictionary that night.

“You’re an idiot, Bagman. She was the best thing you had going for you and you just pushed her away like that?” Phoenix scoffed. She had overheard snippets your break-up, and after prompting Penny, she knew the full story within seconds.

“I did what was best for her-“

“No, you did what was best for you.” Penny interjected. “If you can’t make the effort to keep someone so amazing in your life, you’re never going to get anywhere. Relationships require compromise and change on both sides. The whole time you were with her, she was bending over backwards to accommodate you, and you couldn’t even shift to the side a little and give her a pinch of what she needed.”

Jake could feel anger rising in his throat. He knew best, right? No one saw his perspective. No one could feel how unhappy he would’ve made you. He was setting you free. Right? Please, let him be right.

Rooster prodded him in the stomach with his pool stick. Apparently everyone was in on the conversation. “You’ve got that self-pitying look, man. You fucked up. You’ve been fucking up. If you really think you’re not good enough for her, isn’t that a reason to become good enough for her?”

“I just…” For the first time, Jake was at a loss for words. He was coming to recognize that he was wrong. He was so, so wrong, but that felt like a slap in the face. For the first time, Rooster’s words didn’t intend to antagonize him. They were honest, and he hated it.

Bob tried to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but Jake pushed it off. “You should talk to her.” He offered. “Tell her your side, and if she’s open to it, work on yourself so you can be good for her.” His voice was soft and soothing, like he was whispering to a wounded animal. Jake felt himself burning up under the gazes of his friends.

“Yeah,” He swallowed hard, finally coming to terms with the fact that he can make mistakes. “Maybe I will.”

You’re humming to yourself, cleaning your apartment’s modest kitchen. The sun is out, shining golden beams upon the shiny counter you’re wiping down. It smells like the nicely-scented cleaner you just bought. The old one smelled too much like him. But, as you move on, so does life. Thinking about it gives you a headache, so you’ve chosen to do anything but think.

A knock at your door makes you put down your rag. You figure it’s just your landlord, considering that you were meant to pay your rent yesterday. You sigh, readying yourself to tell sweet Mr. Hammond that you’ll pay it ASAP.

Your fingers grip the door handle and pry it open. The thing has always been a little too hard to move; old hinges, you figure. Before you can get the door to open fully, you stop in your tracks. Jake.

He’s holding a bag of your favorite takeout with a sheepish look on his face. You consider slamming the door, but it would probably get stuck if you moved it too fast. “Have you come to collect your things?” You ask softly, looking him up and down. He looks like shit. He has seemingly forgotten how to shave, his stubble turning into the awkward length that you always chided him to take care of, and his deep green eyes are laden with sadness. It almost makes you feel bad for him— until, of course, you remember he broke your heart. Calm down, you think, make this quick and easy. Get him in and out.

“No.” He states simply. “I wanted to apologize.” This is a big thing for him, something so new that it sounds foreign to your ears. Jake apologizing? His shoulders are hunched slightly. You resist the urge to put a loving hand on his chest, as you usually did when he was feeling out of sorts.

“It’s fine.” Your voice is quiet, laced with as much kindness as you can muster. “I put all your stuff in a box, if you wanted to pick it up.” You’re still subtly prompting, trying to get him out again.

He places the takeout in your grasp, his pinky finger brushing lightly against your own. You hate how it still makes you tingle. Your other hand picks at the edges of your soft loungewear. Jake purses his lips slightly as you step backwards, your feet shuffling against the linoleum floor. “Can we talk?”

“I thought we just talked.” You respond curtly. He sighs, eyebrows drawn.

“I mean really talk. Just hear me out this one time, and if you want, you’ll never have to see me again.”

You nod slightly, resigning yourself to the fact that you have to get this over with. At least your apartment is clean and sparkling; in your own way, you’re telling him that you don’t need his permission to live a nice life. You can clean, and you can take care of yourself. The takeout finds its place on your small table. You pull out a stool from the side of your island and sit down as the stool’s legs creak underneath you. Jake sits, too, opposite you. His hands are shaking a little, but you turn your gaze up to his face.

You can hear his breaths deepening as he clasps his hands together. “I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.”

“I appreciate your apology, but that doesn’t really change what happened.” You state. He holds up a finger as if to tell you to wait just a bit. Your eyes pass over his dejected expression, his mouth tilting just the slightest bit downwards.

“I know. I was being stupid, and I see that now. You’re amazing, honey. You’re nice and generous and this genuine kind of comforting that makes me smile. When I’m with you, I feel like I want to be better. And trust me, I do. I want to be so much better for you. When I first met you, I thought that you’d be a fit for Bob or something, that’s how amazing you are. I thought deserved someone like him, someone just as caring, but I fell in love with you instead, and now look where we are.” He chuckles dryly. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “I guess I just felt inadequate and stupidly insecure. I know I’m not what a respectable girl like you would want, so I pushed you away and hurt you instead. I didn’t consider your feelings at all that night, and for that, I really am sorry. I don’t know if that explanation changes anything now, but I had to give it a shot; you were never too sweet, I was just too damn bitter.”

His words come out in a ramble. You’ve never seen him so much as stutter, but his confident, calm voice is bordering on anxious. You can’t even believe what you’re hearing.

It takes a lot of guts to say something like that. When you look back on your interactions, on everything he’s ever said or done around you, you finally see it clearly. All he does is build himself up to be this great figure, so much so that people can’t tell that his ego has been sorely bruised. That’s why he shrugs off comfort and security, fucking up every sure thing in his life during the process.

He’s boring a hole into your forehead with how hard he’s staring. His hands are still white-knuckled, holding each other like they’re seeking some sort of solace. The tension in the air is palpable as you take a breath. “Thank you. I… It’s nice to hear you acknowledge that.”

Jake can hear his breathing quicken shakily. That could’ve gone a lot worse. You’re not screaming at him, hitting him, kicking him out, anything that he thinks you should do. You’re just sitting there, nails digging into the flesh on your arm, looking shocked and heartbroken all at once. He takes one deep gulp of air. “You’re welcome. I’ll get out of your hair now.” He stands to leave, but your smaller hand catches his. His palm is damp.

“I’m sorry you ever had to feel that way about yourself.” You say. His small admission of insecurity weighs on you like nothing else. “You’re a good guy, Jake. I hope you’ll take this as an opportunity to work on yourself and find what makes you happy.”

Budding tears prick at his waterline. He hasn’t cried in a long time, but looking at you makes him want to. He wants to slide into your arms and sob, press his face into your neck and tell you over and over that he wants you back. He has to try. He thinks he’ll regret it for his whole life if he doesn’t. “You make me happy,” he hesitates, “and if you’ll have me, I’d like to have you around while I work on myself. I need you. You make me want to be good enough for you.”

You take one step, then another, and he doesn’t protest a single bit as you envelop him in a hug. His muscles relax as he wraps his arms around you, the tension breathing a sigh of relief. “I’d like that.” Your voice is slightly muffled from being pressed into his chest, but he hears you loud and clear. “I missed being with you.”

You missed the way he would cook you breakfast in the mornings with a dish towel thrown over his shoulder and classic rock playing from his phone. He always told you that you’d get the whole experience when you visited him, starting with his lips caressing your collarbones and continuing with breakfast in bed. It didn’t even matter if you didn’t want to leave; he would take you with him, wherever he went. He even got in trouble once for sneaking you on base.

You missed his scratchy morning voice and warm hands and how he always had an arm around you. You missed him caring about you, wiping your tears, and you missed how confidently he showed you off and stood up for you. You missed almost everything about him, if you’re being honest. You thinking you could live without him was but a brief lapse in your sanity.

“I missed you too.” He whispers. “I… I really do love you, darlin’. I’ll shape up, I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” You smile.

For the first time in a while, Jake can feel hope pricking at his heart, and you can feel it beating through his shirt.

Maybe, just maybe, you think, this can work.

Taglist: @seitmai

[alyakthedorklord]

Omg literally it would be SO cool if you wrote the rest of the playboy bruce trying to kiss the justice league without them realizing it (I know you said figure it out but the way you wrote it was so good and funn I would love it if you gave maybe a couple of scenarios)

Lmao honestly executive dysfunction is kicking my ASS rn and it was intended as a prompt. I will try tho, definitely taking inspiration from the others who responded to the post because I love them.

If you haven’t, go check out the notes on the OG Post above! @britcision, @ivywing, and @help-i-need-a-cool-username all had amazing additions and @foursixtwonineoh-pieces-of-lego wrote a fic:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48325771

As did @scrapcheck, still in progress

And Devilhorn!

Anyways LONG post under the cut

Hal Jordan

Hal is first to prove a POINT, as @britcision decided. Also because the bastard made it waaaay too easy. Remember- Hal was Joking. He genuinely thinks Batman isn’t going to try, because he’s way too straight-laced boring.

So when he’s at a bar in Coast City, and he sees this absolutely ravishing man lounging casually against the wall, bar lighting making him practically glow (he CALCULATED that) subtle makeup making his bright blue eyes pop as he looks Hal up and down… Well. Hal makes the first move.

Hal: “All on your own, handsome?”

Bruce, with “Mastermind” by Taylor Swift playing in his head, smiling sweetly at Hal: “Care to change that?”

They start talking. Hal doesn’t recognize Bruce Wayne at ALL (canonically he does not know who Bruce Wayne is, a point brought up by @help-i-need-a-cool-username) so all he knows is Bruce is a single father who works at a company he inherited from his parents, which is just (brucie voice) “so much less interesting than a test pilot!”

Bruce, grimacing internally but wrapped around Hal’s arm with the awed and interested eyes in full effect: “you have such a nice voice, tell me more about planes…”

He KNOWS what a fuselage is, thank you, Jordan. Whatever. He gets to gush about his kids, when its his turn to talk, good enough tradeoff. He can survive Hal Jordan’s bad pick up lines and pretend he’s into them. At a certain point Bruce breaks and kisses him just to shut him up. One down.

Diana Prince

I looked it up- kissing in Ancient Greece wasn’t always considered romantic, but also a greeting between two similarly-ranked people. Therefore, I think Diana would be pretty chill with kissing and honestly an easy target at a gala if Bruce plays respectful/clumsy/earnest himbo starstruck with the tall pretty woman, just a peck would make him the happiest man alive. But I wanna go a little more in depth.

Now, I’ve seen Flash and Martian Manhunter save Bruce and/or his kids and Bruce lays one on them, but honestly I think it would work well with Diana too, because she loves kids. Dick and/or Jason (whichever you want to imagine, I want them to team up screw canon) are WAY to excited for this, they’ve got a little script and everything.

WonderWoman, a kid in each arm, delivering them back to their tearful guardian: “Here we are, Mr. Wayne. Whole and healthy.”

Dick, playing into his role eagerly: “Oh my gosh, Bruce! Bruce we got saved by a princess! It’s like a fairytale! Except, you know, the princess is the hero this time, which is so freaking cool!”

Bruce, tears of gratitude rolling down his face (and he knows how to still look perfect while crying, its a skill): “I’m just glad the two of you are safe, Chum.”

Jason, big baby blues in full effect, absolutely asked Wonder Woman to be his mom earlier (to set groundwork, no other reason): “You know, usually the princess and the hero gets a kiss at the end of a fairytale, Bruce. But this princess is both. So how will she get a reward?”

Still choked up with relieved tears and now laughter, Bruce looks up at Diana and smiles: “Well, if the Princess wants a reward… then I would be a fool to refuse.”

Bruce kisses her on the lips, Dick and Jason both kiss her cheeks, Diana leaves charmed and amused by the sweet family. Such a good father, humoring his children and thier little fascination with her, so very respectful…

Two down.

J’ohn Jones

Okay, martians are telepathic. So this goes one of two ways, at some sort of charity or something-

Option 1, Batman is a realist: the charity event is a masquerade, and he wanders over to where MM is while thinking “it would be so funny, give me this.” As loudly as he can. And Martian Manhunter, who appreciates the audacity, gives him a kiss. (I don’t like this one because it technically breaks the rules of the bet, bc MM knows it’s Batman, but eh)

Option 2, Batman is a different breed: he manages to up the ante with his Himbo Persona. Creating a “slippery void” mental facade that blocks of his real thoughts and makes him read as really just that stupid. This would require functioning with two trains of thought at once, and making sure that the Martian can only read the surface level, “oh, this one is pretty” “I really wouldn’t mind kissing him” and other such decoy thoughts, instead of “target is approaching, signs of interest present despite this not being his natural form-“

Bruce also researches and copies Martian courting styles and copies them “by chance,” catching MM’s attention. (He offers him Oreos)

Martian Manhunter: “this man… he is so empty headed and yet clearly kind and willing. I would not take him for a life partner, but for some simple fun as he seems to desire…”

(Edit: Maybe, if B is confident enough, he lets through his loneliness. Missing his parents, wanting affection, an ache so strong it’s like a physical wound. J’onn feels the same ache for his lost family, and decides to try this human’s strategy to fill that void. Either way…)

Batman 3, League 0

Barry Allen

I’m strangely blank when it comes to the Flash let me just spitball and let it snowball

As I said above, people have had him save Bruce, had Bruce seduce him at his workplace while taking a tour, I even saw @help-i-need-a-cool-username have Dick set up a petition for Bruce to kiss the Flash. (An idea that I personally think would also go really well with Superman lmao.)

Anyways, I think it would be funny for Bruce to take it slow with Barry. For the irony of it all. Because Batman is doing this to prove a POINT. So he’s in central city, spots Barry coming his way, and “accidentally” slips right into his arms. Ooh, or covered in coffee, like a wealth disparity drama base script, and Barry’s like “omg i am so sorry let me pay you back.” And bruce is all “this shirt costs (stupid amount of money)”

Barry: (fear)

Bruce, rolling with it rn: “yes, it is horrendous, isn’t it? Hows this- I’m in central city for a day. You can pay me back by showing me around?”

He then proceeds to string barry along on an honest to god DATE for shits and giggles. They go clothes shopping, they go to restaurants, Bruce pays for a big meal bc this is after a fight or something and Barry got hurt, his speedster comrade needs to EAT, damnit.

After all this, he gives a cheeky smile and lightly smooches Barry. “Thanks for the fun day, Mr. Allen.”

Barry, bright red and goo brained: “hah- mmhmm. Yeah…”

Batman 4, League 0

Oliver Queen

This one… Oliver is on guard. He’s twitchy and suspicious, turning down men flirting with him, people are starting to notice. But Bruce? Bruce just walks up at a party while “tipsy” and lays one on him. Straight up. He wants to show just how EASY it is. Because Oliver doesn't even register it. He just laughs and goes: “Hey Brucie! Miss me?”

Batman 5, League 0

Dinah Lance

Of course, immediately after above, he turns and pouts at canary.

Bruce: “Dinah darling, you are a saint, I don’t know how you put up with the mess he’s got on his face. He was so much nicer to kiss when we were in (fancy private school name drop) together and didn’t have all this nonsense.”

Dinah, laughing at Ollie’s offended noises: “Oh, I don’t mind it. He’s a good kisser.”

Bruce: “Of course he is, I taught him. Care to compare?”

Dinah: “Don’t mind if I do.”

Batman 6, league 0

Clark Kent

For Clark, Bruce is originally talking to Lois before he turns his eyes on a quiet Clark and croons: “So, Miss Lane, does this lovely specimen have his own questions, or is he arm candy? And if he’s the latter, can I either tempt him off you, or secure an invitation?”

Lois, an excellent friend who will absolutely set Clark up with the hottest bachelor in Gotham: “Well, Mister Wayne, I’ve got all I need. Clark, take a page from my book and honeytrap a good quote out of him, hm?”

With an obnoxious wink, she pats a spluttering Clark on the shoulder, and leaves him with a very smug Batman.

(Bonus Superbat- Clark and Bruce’s conversation is going REALLY WELL and to the point where both of them seem on board with more than a heavy makeout when Bruce puts a hand on Clarks chest.

Bruce: “Stop.”

Clark, freezing immediately: “I’m sorry, did I go too far-?”

Bruce: “No, no. I think I might be though. See, I have all of you now, and I’ve won the bet.”

Clark: “What are you- oh. Oh- HUH?”

Cue sudden and shocked revelation, Clark’s mind going a hundred miles an hour, and then skidding to a stop on- he only did this for the bet. He’s not really interested. He stopped because I went too far-

Bruce: “You only consented to a kiss without knowing my identity. Right now, I’d like to do more, if you’d let me.”

Clark has the dial-up tone ringing in his ears, he has no idea whats going on anymore, the hot billionaire and his reclusive teammate aren’t quite slotting into place, because he wants both but rhey’re so different but they’re the same but-

“Yes.”

Lois doesn’t get Clark back that night and she is delighted.)

Anyways, final results:

Batman: 7

League: 0

Reveal:

Batman talking shit about their secret identities again, Green Lantern is scoffing about it again, says something along the lines of: “You still think you’re sooooo great, huh? Hows the bet going, spooky?” Fully expecting Batman to get huffy with him.

Instead, Batman smirks.

He leans in

And purrs: “So you didn’t notice?”

The League freezes. The implications are dangling over their head. Did he… did he really?

Green Lantern, absolutely terrified: “No. no, there’s no way…”

Batman: “Oh, there absolutely was a way. I’d say you were a good kisser, but honestly? I think it might have been the euphoria of getting you to shut up.”

He turns on the rest of the league, still smirking. “I have kissed every single person who consented at least once in the time since the bet was made. Two of you with tongue. And no one has called me out on it. Now that you know it’s happened, you should be able to figure me out, so whoever can tell me my real name first, wont get thier story used as an example in the brand new “how to avoid honeypots” seminar.”

(If bonus superbat, B shoots Superman a Look and goes “except for you, superman, because I told you my name.” Which just ends up distracting everyone else until they get THAT story)

Diana wins bc she matched up the boys to the robins. Everyone else gets their stories told in excruciating detail. Batman rates them by kissing ability and how obvious he was on his approach. Oliver gets docked points for “texture.” Dinah gets docked points because “i griped about the exact same thing in and out of costume, how did you not notice-“

(Different reveal below)

@chaos-n-kindness @she-went-that-way @geekonaleash @redh00dsbf @howabouticallyou

[mandacantu]

10 Reasons Why I Actually Loved The Crow Remake

FKA Twigs - I'm not going to sit here and pretend I am not a huge twigs fan, because I love anything she touches and especially her music. This was her first time as a leading lady and I thought she did a good job. I do think there were some points where her line reading could have been a little more fast paced in some spots, but overall, I think she was captivating, eloquent and emotional. And wow, so many stunning visuals that we got of her from this movie!

2. We didn't have to see depictions of brutal and violent deaths of women in this film. I didn't want to spend too many of my thoughts on comparisons to the original The Crow, but one thing I noticed was that I didn't have to endure the violent and sexually abusive death of Shelly or any other woman in this movie. I do like the original movie but never cared for the way they went all in on Shelly's death. In this remake, we still see Shelly die but we don't have to endure gratuitous SA scenes whilst losing the leading lady. I appreciated that and was able to relax more, honestly.

3. The villain had actual motivation for killing and being a villain. There was some decent backstory and character development for the villain and that is something that I always appreciate. Some of my favorite pieces of media (like Spirited Away and Knives Out) do well to at least give the villain a story or a reason for being bad. I think it adds depth to the story and for me, helps immerse me into the plot more.

4. It felt like a comic book come to life. From the color grading and palette to the way scenes were cut and moved from one to the next, it felt like I was flipping through a comic book. There were moments that were very whimsical in depictions of love and then very gritty scenes. The contrast in some of those scenes felt similar to flipping a page in a comic.

5. It was very romantic and spent a lot of time focusing on their love story. I thought their love was believable and felt like that whirlwind kind of love where you just want to party and kiss all night. It gave me a reason to care about both of the characters and it gave Shelly a place in the spotlight where she becomes so much more than just a symbol of loss for character development. Focusing on their love and giving us some romance was a timeless decision and puts their love story up there with Romeo and Juliet or Christian and Sateen.

6. Soundtrack was amazing! If you are into some new wave, some goth tunes and some dance tracks, this is the playlist for you. Beyond just the soundtrack, it was truly a different experience to see it synced up to parts of the movie as intended. The intro was amazing, I thought it was like a James Bond meets Underworld mixed with some NIN music video sprinkled in there. The folks who worked on the score deserve a standing ovation. There were moments where I was tearing up because of how well the music paired with the scene. Most memorable and moving was Joy Division's Disorder when they bust out of rehab together and a perfectly placed Boadicea by Enya. There were so many other good ones too, I'm seriously considering seeing it again just for the mini music videos you get from the film.

7. It was aesthetically pleasing. And I'm not just talking about the eye candy that was Bill Skarsgård, though lets give him his flowers for being a true Mr. Fanservice! The actual visuals were beautiful. I loved the cinematography and color choices. It was truly a feast for the eyes. Just take a look at this beautiful gif set by pizgif!

8. I could easily see a story about grief and the longing for justice for loved ones. I thought it was a good story and as I watched it, I thought to myself that the person who wrote the original comic must have gone through an immense loss. It wasn't until I looked it up that it seems to be confirmed that The Crow was inspired by such loss. The moodiness of the movie itself added to the weight of the tragic storyline. In that, I liked that it takes a while for Eric to become The Crow. Losing someone you love transforms you and in this sense, the movie is all about that transformation and pain and longing.

9. I liked the ending. I don't want to say too much to spoil it, but I enjoyed the different ending and I was definitely teary eyed and sniffling as I left the theater.

10. It was goth as fuck. I think goth can be a multitude of styles and honestly shouldn't be something that has a gatekeeper. This was emo-boy-goth, it was e-boy-tiktok-hottie-goth, it was goth in a different flavor. I think folks are quick to see this new Eric not dressed like a new-wave-leather-daddy-goth as decidedly not dark enough. To quote a favorite musician, he was "goth as fuck, even when [he's] not in black, gothic is the pain you feel and not the clothes that's on your back."

Closing thoughts: A lot of the negative criticism is coming from men or diehard fans of the 1994 movie, so I am not surprised. This rendition felt like the same story, just done differently and with more emphasis on the love story than the revenge plot. There is nothing wrong with that and nothing wrong with a gothic romance heavy action flick.

This was intended to be a different version of The Crow and that isn't a bad thing. I personally think that if they had done the styling to be an exact replica of Brandon Lee's rendition then the movie would still get tons of hate, if not more. It was a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation for sure. I'm glad they took a risk and deviated from the '94 version.

We have been doing remakes since the creation of art. It has always been common to hear that the new movie coming out is actually a retelling of this classic tale or continuation of that scary story. Remakes are not a new concept and some of them do well to tell the same story in a different way. We are in the day and age where there isn't really an original idea anymore, anyway. In a world full of countless retellings of Batman/Joker and Spiderman movies, why not remake The Crow? I say fire it up!

I think they do a good job to pave the way for others to retell this love story in the same vein as The Joker and Harley Quinn. Hell, I would say to keep going, next let's see a remake where The Crow is about two badass lesbians. (I might have gotten too peppered up watching the movie, it was hot.)

P.S. I loved that there were little things like Eric wearing Shelly's jacket later in the movie. I feel like a lot of critics saw him wearing this jacket and were quick to bash the costume design too, but this is the kind of attention to detail that made their love believable to me. And I thought he looked cute as hell in it.

Okay, the end.

[therhythmafterthesummer]

Are You There, Wolf? (M) ~Lee Know

Pairing: Werewolf!Minho x Human!F.Reader Themes: Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Fluff | Best Friends to Lovers Word Count: ~8k | AO3 Synopsis: Minho had always deemed himself a bit of a weirdo. In his humble opinion, he’d only become even weirder with time, especially after he acquired his supernatural… condition. He’d never cared much about it, not when you’d always been there for him, and hopefully you would always be. [This is an instalment of my WereRoomies series. You don’t particularly need to read the other instalments related to Minho to understand this, but it’ll add more depth to the story if you do, so I highly recommend it~]. Warnings: Minho’s POV · mentions of shooting guns [it’s an off-handed comment made by Minho, nothing serious, but figured i’d put a warning] · mentions of gambling · mentions of cheating [but no one cheated] · mentions of blood, injuries, and violence · near death experiences · Minho was dumb and in denial for a long while · mentions and depictions of monster fucking shenanigans · graphic depictions of intercourse (smut warnings under the cut).

Author’s Note: this originally started as a smutty drabble inspired by an ask from an anon… somehow it grew hands and beat me up and made me black out and now we’ve got a full instalment. a chunk of it is just stuff that happened in other instalments, but with Minho’s input. hope you enjoy ! special thanks to @notastraykid for reading this and letting me know it wasn’t the worst piece of literature she’s ever read.

Due to all the abovementioned warnings, this story is intended for an adult audience only. Minors please do not interact.

Minho's previous WereRoomies instalments: Camping With Wolves & Dog Unleashed

Smut Warnings: mentions of oral · somnophilia [all acts related to it are consensual] · unprotected penetration [piv. no barrier method, but reader is presumed to be on birth control] · creampie

Disclaimer: the story represented in this work does not represent Stray Kids in any way; anything described in this story and all actions performed by the characters are purely fictional, this was created just for good fun.

Minho always believed himself to be a rational man. He was also an animal, yes. But his animal instincts were, essentially, stunted. 

He wasn’t sure if it was because he was born human and turned into a werewolf when he was very young, or if there was something wrong with him in general–he honestly wouldn’t be surprised if that were the case.

Jisung–who’d been the first other werewolf Minho ever befriended–believed it to be the first option. He had encouraged Minho to go to a specialist and ask, but Minho never really paid much attention to it.

He figured that, as long as he didn’t feel ill or that he didn’t hurt anyone around him, it didn’t really matter.

However, just how many psychologists and therapists by trade seemed to choose that career path in order to understand their own brains and behaviours, sometimes he wondered if his own inability to understand his animal needs was what fully drove him into becoming a vet.

Sure, he had always cared for animal’s safety, he always knew one too many facts about many different critters, and with all the injured animals that seemed to come his way when he was a kid, he had spent more time at the vet’s office than he did in his own home. He supposed all things combined played a role in his career choice, and that had certainly helped him understand himself a little better… kind of.

Minho was a simple man. A man that, in a sick twist of fate, ended up becoming the dictionary definition of a monster.

He’d admit that for a long time, he blamed himself for what had happened to him. ‘Maybe if I hadn’t taken that detour through the woods that time I wouldn’t have been turned’, ‘Maybe if I had been paying attention to my surroundings I wouldn’t have been bit’, ‘Maybe I did something horrible in a past life or this one to warrant such an event’, he’d always think about these things whenever the pains and aches caused by his condition were a bit too strong to bear.

It took him an even longer time to accept the fact that it hadn’t been his fault at all. Nothing could’ve ever prepared him for the situation. He would’ve never been able to predict that a giant wolf would come out of nowhere and bite him completely unprompted. 

To this day, over ten years later, Minho still couldn’t remember what the wolf looked like.

It all happened so fast… All he could remember was the fuzzy canine shape, the sound of growls and snarls and of his own bones cracking inside his body, along with the searing pain that spread from the gash that the creature had left on his side.

He couldn’t remember the bleeding, or the amount of time he spent laying on the forest ground, or even the moment he was eventually found. One second he was in an immense amount of pain, and the next he was completely fine, as if nothing had happened, laying on a hospital bed with his best friend hugging him and sobbing against his chest.

Minho could’ve never imagined that that event in the woods would change the way he interacted with the world forever.

One seemingly normal evening after what he thought had been ‘an accident’, while he was hanging out in his best friend’s home, doing their weekly watch of Kamen Rider, it was like something suddenly started rattling inside of him. Like an itch one can’t seem to scratch satisfactorily.

He couldn’t breathe, his joints hurt, all his muscles seemed to burn, and before he knew it, he was feeling parts of his body he had never felt before. His vision felt different, his sense of smell was overwhelmed, and although his surroundings were familiar, it was almost like he was seeing them from someone else’s perspective.

Needless to say, he was having a full on meltdown right then and there. Especially when he caught what he thought would be a glimpse of himself on a reflective surface, and what he saw instead was a dog… Well, more accurately, a wolf.

To this day, he was very grateful that it all happened while you, his best friend, were there with him. Minho honestly wasn’t sure how he would’ve reacted had he been on his own. He could still remember the panic he felt, how much he was crying, how much you were crying. Things would’ve probably been very different if you hadn’t hugged him tight and reassured him time and time again that you’d be there for him… That you wanted to figure this out together.

When he had finally understood what had happened to him in the woods, and after many trips to the local library to do some digging on the internet, you both came to the conclusion that the most logical explanation to his newfound condition was that he was now afflicted with lycanthropy… And it wasn’t the psychological kind.

Which was crazy. 

Completely absurd.

But what seemed to be sourced in fantasy and myths was literally the only thing that matched his symptoms perfectly.

Everything was confusing for a long time after that. Everything was too loud, too bright, too intense… His already sensitive senses seemed to be overstimulated all day, every day–even worse than before–and he could hardly cope.

He could hear conversations that were happening metres away from him, he could hear people’s breathing and their heartbeats and sometimes other internal organs as well… It was honestly driving him a little bit insane.

Minho realised very quickly that having a supernaturally enhanced sense of smell when he was starting high school was quite possibly one of the worst things to ever happen to him. Having been turned into a werewolf was hard enough on its own, now he had to deal with teenagers that seemed to hold a grudge against soap.

When it all got too overwhelming, he simply got close to you. As close as he could. He was sure he had memorised the rhythm of your heartbeat at this point, and the constant, familiar sound always seemed to help ease his sour mood.

‘Have you gotten a new perfume? Or a new fabric softener?’ He couldn’t help but ask one day. He’d noticed recently that there seemed to be a scent of lavender lingering around him whenever you were close. He didn’t mind. In fact, it actually comforted him quite a bit.

‘You know I don’t use fabric softener, dummy. And no, I haven’t gotten a new perfume’, your answer puzzled him a bit, but it wasn’t until a handful of months later, when he finally met Jisung, that he understood what that lavender scent was.

When Minho first met Jisung, he was honestly a bit surprised. Mostly because the second Jisung was within his radius, it was almost like he could tell the younger boy was a werewolf, too. There was something about the smell of roses and cotton radiating from Jisung that just gave it away, although Minho didn’t know how, or why.

Jisung quickly became an integral part of his friend group–although, to be fair,  ‘group’ was a big word to use, considering you were the only real friend Minho had, and the one he consistently hung out with. What used to be a simple pair of weirdos became a trio of weirdos, and Minho was genuinely happy about that.

He immediately felt like he could trust Jisung, and in the long run, Minho was grateful for his presence. Not only because Jisung was funny and eloquent and he also enjoyed watching niche TV shows, but also because Jisung helped him understand this unexplored side of him.

‘You’re an alpha, clearly’, Jisung told Minho once. As if that meant something important. ‘Your scent is kind of… Like, you smell of vanilla and a recently lit bonfire. Somehow very alpha-like, but milder than what I’m used to, I suppose…’

Jisung explained to him all these werewolf designations of alphas, betas, and omegas that were based on a werewolf’s inherent nature… He explained what scents were, how to tell what status a wolf had based on their scent, and when he confirmed that humans did, in fact, also have a scent, Minho just knew then that that lavender scent he always smelt when you were close was simply your natural scent. Just like cotton and roses was Jisung’s.

Meeting Jisung–aside from meeting you–was possibly one of the best things that could’ve ever happened to Minho. Not only did Jisung become one of his best friends in this whole wide world, not only did he help Minho understand his newfound nature, but also, thanks to him, Minho was finally able to find a family of his own.

Being honest, in his hometown, Minho didn’t have anyone but you. His mother barely even gave him the time of day–mostly because she was busy working two or three jobs to support them both.

When his now step-dad came into the picture, money was no longer a problem, but by that point Minho had already been turned, and that, coupled with the fact that his step-dad wasn’t really that good of a man, was enough for him to distance himself from his relatives.

Minho also had Jisung for a while, but he eventually left town because his entire pack was moving out. That was fine, he was sure they would meet again eventually. Besides, technology around that time made it so it was hardly possible to not be in contact with someone.

After high school, when Minho finally decided to pursue higher education–to pursue his dream of becoming a vet–the university he wanted to study in was, coincidentally, in the same area where Jisung was living then. And not only was Jisung living there, he was in a pack. A different one from his childhood one.

Back in the early stages of his friendship with Jisung, he had explained to Minho that werewolves usually lived in packs, just like regular wolves did. Jisung’s childhood pack didn’t treat omegas that well, from what Minho could recall. So, being an omega himself, Jisung always felt like a bit of an outcast. The fact that he had found a pack where he was actually comfortable was a big deal, and Minho was genuinely happy for his friend.

Even though the pack was essentially only three young wolves, Jisung always spoke highly of his two other packmates. ‘Chris and Changbin are amazing people, dude. Never met wolves like them aside from, like… you. I think you’d be a great addition to our pack, and Chris agrees! Come meet them, you won’t regret it’.

And he didn’t regret it. Not one bit. If anything, joining Chris’ pack, becoming close to him and Changbin to help them lead it, was the third best thing that could’ve ever happened to Minho.

‘Changbin’s my right hand. Although it doesn’t make much sense to have a second in command when we’re, like, three dudes only, I feel like at any point more people could join us, so I like to be prepared’, Chris, the leader–the alpha–of that pack of Jisung’s wasn’t that much older than Minho, but there was something about him that exuded leadership and comfort. It was so obvious even someone like Minho, who wasn’t that in touch with his wolf instincts, was able to tell this man was a real alpha. 

‘It’s very customary for the alpha of the pack to have at least two other people next to them to deal with all possible pack matters, and Jisung believes you might be suitable for that. He said, and I quote, that you have a heart of gold. He vouches for you, and I trust him, so if you want to join and help me out, you’re more than welcome to. Hell, you’re welcome even if you don’t want to help me lead specifically, but it’s important you know that as a pack, we must always look out for each other’, Chris’ proposal was straight forward. No matter what role Minho would fill in, he was welcome to join them.

Being honest with himself, Minho wasn’t really that much of a leader–not in his opinion, at least–but the prospect of joining a pack seemed to tickle something on the back of his mind. He supposed it was one of those instinctual things he didn’t understand well, but, in a way, Chris made him feel reassured, so he told him he’d be happy to join and help him out however he could. With one condition, though.

‘You see, I’ve got my best friend… Not sure if Jisung has told you about her. She’s human, and she’s very important to me. If joining your pack of werewolves means I can’t see her anymore then I’m not doing it’, Minho loved Jisung, and he had a good impression of Chris and Changbin, but, truly, if joining them meant he had to leave you behind, he’d much rather stay on his own.

He knew from Jisung that the moment you moved into a werewolf den, a lot of decisions had to involve the alpha’s approval, and considering you were human, Minho had a genuine fear of Chris telling him that humans simply weren’t allowed. He’d honestly much rather shoot himself in the leg than have to cut ties with you. You’d been the only constant in his life, and losing you was something he just couldn’t afford. You meant too much to him. Maybe more than he would’ve liked to admit back then.

Thankfully, Chris didn’t seem to have major issues with that. If anything, all he did was ask to meet you before you could stay at his den, and as long as you were someone that could be trusted, he wouldn’t have any problems with your presence at the den. That was fine, there was no doubt in Minho’s mind that Chris would like you and see just how nice you were.

He had obviously been right. Your first time meeting Chris couldn’t have gone more smoothly. Not even fifteen minutes passed and he was already dragging Minho to the side and telling him it was all good. 

‘I think she’s nice. It’s fine by me if your kitten drops by or stays over whenever you guys want’, Chris had patted him on the back, with a teasing grin on his face, taking special care to stress the word kitten–which was a nickname Minho had given you randomly one day years ago while trying to cheer you up.

Giving you that nickname had been a moment of weakness, a moment in which he also had been sad and his inhibitions had lowered a bit. The pet name just fell out of his mouth, it had practically been a perfect textbook definition of a Freudian slip, considering Minho had, quite stupidly, developed a crush on you by then.

Chris was a good person, but he also seemed to enjoy teasing Minho whenever his more than obvious crush presented itself, even when Minho himself was in denial about it.

Minho was convinced you didn’t feel anything other than platonic love towards him, so he always tried to delude himself into thinking he absolutely didn’t have a crush on you. You were his best friend, one of the most important people in his life, and he would never risk losing you over what he believed to be unrequited feelings.

Sometimes, though, it was almost impossible not to think about you in ways that would definitely be considered inappropriate. It was easy in his day to day life, but, twice a year, he had to face the fact that his feelings for you went beyond your friendship…

Minho was well aware that he was a weird guy. Throughout his life, he had only ever cared about animals, Kamen Rider, and you and Jisung. He could hardly hold a normal, civil conversation if it didn’t involve any of those things, he said things and had odd habits that could potentially put off people around him, and that was only on his human side. His wolf side was a whole other can of worms.

He already had a hard time understanding his basic human needs, and that seemed to triple when it came to his animal needs. For a long time he couldn’t tell when he needed to go on a run, or when he was in a bad mood because of a weird scent around him, and no need to even get started on whatever the hell was happening with his ruts…

Figuring out that he now had to go through days of unbearable horniness was by far one of the weirdest experiences Minho ever had to deal with during this whole ‘being turned into a half animal’ thing. After he reached sexual maturity, twice a year, he had a time period of around four to five days when every single one of his instincts and senses pulled him into a trance-like state in which all he wanted to do was fuck.

But not only did he want to fuck… He specifically wanted to breed someone. And even more specifically, he wanted to breed you.

It was awful. The whole ordeal was physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausting.

The first time he went into rut, he was sure the pain he was feeling came close to the one he briefly felt back when he had been bit and turned. His body was increasingly warm, he was sweating buckets, his cock was hard for an almost criminal amount of time, and nothing he did made it better. 

Even if he managed to make himself come, it barely helped him feel relieved. If anything, it got him more frustrated, to the point where he would start breaking things around him–both intentionally and unintentionally.

The worst part of going into rut, though, was the thoughts he had throughout those days. He could only think of you. Of kissing you, of tasting those utmost sensitive areas of your body, of bending you over and ramming himself into you until he got tied to you and got to fill you to the brim with his cum…

Logic was something that didn’t exist for him in this time period, so those thoughts ran freely in his mind for the duration of his rut… thoughts that he had to come face to face once his rut subsided and he could think like a human again instead of a horny dog.

Needless to say, Minho couldn’t look at your face for a whole month after he went through his first rut. He was haunted by the images his imagination had produced at the time, and he was convinced you didn’t deserve that, that he had somehow broken your trust. It was something he never spoke about with anyone. Not even Jisung. He made a vow to keep this a secret in order to protect your friendship.

Little did Minho know that his friendship with you didn’t need to be protected from anything…

Many years after his first rut, sharing a bed with you during one fateful trip to the woods with the whole pack, was all it took for the line of your friendship to blur completely. Minho had been in denial about his feelings for so long, he had been completely blind to your feelings.

That night, with his senses enhanced by the moon, with his animal instincts bubbling to the forefront of his human mind, that need for you seemed to be impossible to ignore. While he laid with you on that bed, under the covers, being your big spoon, he couldn’t help but get lost in how fast your heart was beating the tighter he hugged you, he was drowning in your lavender scent, and he genuinely didn’t want to be rescued.

You staring at his mouth for a moment too long while he hovered over you had suddenly ignited a spark of hope deep within him. That, added to your increased heart rate, and what he couldn’t mistake for anything other than arousal lingering in your scent, was quickly making him delirious.

‘Kitten… Why are you… Why are you looking at my mouth?’

‘Just thinking…’

‘About?’

‘Things I should not be thinking about’. 

After the words came out of your mouth, and with all the sensory inputs around him, Minho suddenly felt so incredibly stupid.

How had he never noticed that your body seemed to react to him in the same ways his did to you? How long had it been doing that? He had been blindsided by his own desperate attempts to not drive you away from him with his feelings, he had never noticed you looking at him in the same way he looked at you.

He wasn’t sure if it had been the moon reinforcing his stunted instincts just enough to enhance his questionable sense of awareness, but as he looked at you, as he saw just how blown your pupils were, as he watched you stare at his mouth, all caution flew out the window. For once, he decided to take a chance, and the moment his lips made contact with yours, the moment the tiniest of moans left your mouth with the contact, he just knew he had made the right choice.

Kissing you, after so many years of trying not to think of what it would feel like, was even better than he could’ve ever imagined. Minho was ravenous, desperate to feel as much of you as he possibly could, and you, very clearly, were in a similar state.

You both agreed–while still kissing, if he might add–that you needed to discuss the situation, but, admittedly, neither of you wanted to stop. So you didn’t, but only after reaching a compromise to talk about it later.

Minho honestly couldn’t even tell how many times you both had sex that night. It seemed like he’d entered a time pocket in which the only thing that mattered was indulging in each other’s body as many times as you possibly could.

By the time you were both thoroughly satisfied, he simply hugged you close under the covers, relishing the feel of your bare skin against his, relishing the feel of your head on his chest and his arms around your frame. Hugging you to sleep, especially this intimately, was everything he could’ve ever hoped for.

It wasn’t like he’d never hugged you to sleep. He’d shared a bed with you many times in the past, but doing it after having your lips on his, after knowing how it felt like to be inside you, and the mere idea that you reciprocated his feelings, was enough to make him fall asleep smiling to himself like a fool.

Even the next morning, when Minho woke up, still very much naked, when he turned around to find you already awake and looking at him, he couldn’t help but smile like a fool once again. Especially not when you were smiling so bright yourself.

“Morning”, you mumbled, immediately shuffling closer so you could tuck your head under his chin and hug his waist.

“Morning, kitten”, Minho pressed a kiss to the top of your head and hugged you even closer, slotting one of his legs between yours to further tangle your limbs together.

You just hummed, nuzzling his neck before you started to press kisses on it. Your soft lips on his skin sent a shiver down his spine, which certainly didn’t help ease the effects of morning wood.

Minho was drowsy, maybe even still horny, but he needed to have this conversation with you, or he was sure he’d explode. “Can we talk about it now?”

You pulled yourself away from his neck to look him in the eyes. Reaching forward with your hand, you pushed his hair out of his eyes, and the movement made them fall shut. “What do you wanna talk about?”

You kept playing with his hair for a bit, then traced the features of his face with the pad of one of your fingers, until his eyes opened again.

“I need to know where we go from here”.

You took a deep breath, mulling his words. Finally, you retracted your hand from his face to hold his hand instead. “Minho, I let you do things to me last night that I’ve never let anyone else do. I don’t know about you, but I hope where we go from here is a relationship”.

Minho couldn’t help but wonder then if he would ever stop smiling like a fool after all this. “So you’re my girlfriend now? Is this what we’re doing?”

“Only if you’re my boyfriend”, you chuckled, leaning in to press a brief kiss on his cheek.

Minho hugged your waist, and he pulled you closer into him. “Mmm… Your ex is gonna have a field day if he ever finds out”.

Your ex had spent the last leg of your relationship with him convinced you had cheated on him with Minho. During the big fight that led to your breakup, he had told you how obvious it was that Minho had feelings for you. At the time you just dumped his ass, and Minho, Jisung, and you spent a whole evening just dragging his name through the mud.

That relationship didn’t last long anyway. He was probably, in Minho’s opinion, the worst partner you had ever had. He was insecure, misogynistic, and manipulative. You hadn’t cheated on him, but Minho supposed there was one thing he had been right about… he did have feelings for you back then.

You scoffed at the mention of your ex, rolling your eyes. “Just like your ex probably will, too”.

Ah, Minho’s ex… It had been a long time since Minho had been in a relationship, but how could he forget the ex that made him choose between him and you?

He could admit it was an asshole move to be involved romantically with someone while having feelings for someone else, but back then he was so deep in denial he couldn’t even acknowledge what he felt for you. Regardless, you were still his friend, and he’d never choose anyone else over one of his friends. In his opinion, someone that cared about him would never make him choose in the first place.

“I guess we’ll have to let them froth at the mouth with rage and believe whatever they want to believe. That is, if they still care”, Minho chuckled, rolling you on your back to start pressing kisses all over your face, making you giggle.

That seemingly innocent act of smothering your face with kisses turned into a much less innocent mess of lips and tongues. Minho came to find out that making out with you was absolutely exhilarating, especially when it ended with his mouth between your legs.

Fucking you that morning might’ve not been the smartest move to make when you both were about to walk into a kitchen full of people with enhanced senses, but Minho figured that if anyone commented on it, he didn’t care. It wasn’t like he was going to keep it a secret, anyway.

Although, he’d admit that having Jisung scream it to everyone in the room caught him off guard. Just like learning that everyone had placed bets on whether Minho and you would get together last night also caught him off guard.

He figured he deserved that last one, considering he himself had also gotten the rest of the pack to place bets on whether Chris and his girlfriend would fuck last night or not…

In any case, other than the bet, the whole pack seemed to seamlessly embrace this new dynamic between you and Minho. After all, starting a relationship with you didn’t change things much.

You still lived almost an hour away from him, you still encouraged him to indulge in his interests, you still talked every day… If anything, the only major difference was that you met more frequently now. Seeing you weekly instead of monthly was certainly an improvement.

It was kind of amusing to Minho how everything was almost the same. He still took you places, still held your hand and hugged you and brushed your hair out of your face whenever he felt like it, but now he could let his fingers linger on your skin for longer, he could lean in and press a kiss wherever he wanted on your face, and, at the end of the day, he could take you home and fuck you dumb for as long as you’d let him.

There was only one thing, though, that seemed to be a problem… It was something he didn’t really want to acknowledge, but he knew would explode on his face at some point.

Minho was an animal.

Eventually, he’d go into rut, and knowing you, he was sure you’d want to help him go through it.

Minho had never spoken to you about his ruts, but he knew you’d learnt a great deal about it from the other girls at the den as well as Jisung. You’d never brought it up to him before, and he was sure it was because you simply knew he didn’t want to talk about it. 

Now that you were his girlfriend, it was only a matter of time before he’d have to face this problem head on. Because that was what this whole thing was to Minho… a problem. 

Even if during his rut all he could think about was you, he usually got violent. Very violent.

He’d punch walls and break numerous pieces of furniture and appliances, and having you there with him could put you at risk of getting caught in the cross-fire. If he ever hurt you, Minho would never, ever forgive himself. Especially when he just knew you would. You would make excuses for him, you’d enable him and his animal ways like you always did, and he just didn’t want to put you in that position.

Granted, he should’ve probably told you all this, and he had been hyping himself up to do it, but you had been faster than him. The night you finally asked him about his rut he had been severely unprepared to handle the situation.

Minho told you he wouldn’t spend his rut with you. He could’ve probably worded it better, but before he knew it the situation escalated and you were having an argument and he had unintentionally made you feel unwanted, which was just so far from reality…

He wanted to tell you just how much he wanted you, but before he could you’d put space between yourselves and left him there on his own. It was late at night when it happened, but he wasn’t necessarily worried for your safety when you left, because he just knew you’d either go to one of the girls’ flats or to Jisung’s.

Forty minutes after the whole ordeal, he received a text from Jisung confirming his suspicions. The younger wolf told him you were at his place and that he’d take care of you for the night, which Minho was immensely grateful for.

He spent the entire night tossing and turning, wondering how to best word his predicament so he wouldn’t inadvertently hurt you and make you feel unwanted again. Essentially, his reservations when it came to spending his rut with you had nothing to do with you, and all to do with him.

So, the next morning, he made his way to Jisung’s and waited patiently for you to wake up. Jisung had given him a rundown of what had happened the night before, without revealing too much of what you’d told him since he usually liked to keep your conversations as private as possible–just like he kept the conversations he had with Minho as private as possible whenever he spoke to you.

So, when you woke up, Minho immediately explained the situation. He confessed to you how he’d always wanted you, how he couldn’t stop thinking about you whenever he went into rut, and how he got incredibly violent during that time period, so violent he feared he would harm you in any way.

You understood, of course. You always did.

You apologised for jumping to conclusions, and for forcing him to talk about something when he was clearly not ready to do it, which he appreciated. He also apologised for not communicating properly, an apology that you also seemed to accept. At the end of the day, he understood why the whole thing happened in the first place, and he made a mental note to try and not keep things like these from you ever again. 

Funny thing, how the universe always seems to play with people like they were little pieces in a funky little game.

When Minho did go into rut, he was so out of it he completely forgot to let you or anyone else know. You had a tendency to drop by his place unannounced, which he didn’t mind, but that day, it was far from ideal, to say the least.

He was sweating, frustrated, in pain, and the second he heard the beeps of the front door’s lock and the smell of your scent hit him, he just lost it.

It was all a blur after that. He tried to hold back, to tell you to leave, but you didn’t. Of course you wouldn’t leave…

To his surprise, that violence that seemed to seep out of him whenever he went into rut wasn’t there. His thoughts were plagued with only you and your lavender scent and the need to pleasure you and to pump you full of his pups.

When he finally managed to do all that, he quickly realised that he’d only ever been violent because he couldn’t have you. In retrospect, he should’ve known. But he’d proven to be tone deaf enough to not understand what his needs were, and this clearly wasn’t an exception.

Nothing had felt quite as fulfilling as spending that rut with you. It was all he’d ever wanted and more. His almost endless supply of cum, his knot, his insatiable need to fuck and fuck and fuck… You’d taken it all like a champ, and even when he wasn’t that in tune with his inner wolf, he could still feel just how proud it was, how proud he was of you.

The word mate kept repeating over and over in his mind the entire time, and he supposed you were his mate, all things considered.

Forever was a big word, but Minho figured that, at least at that point in time, he couldn’t ever imagine his life with anyone else. Especially not now that you were finally sharing your feelings with each other after years and years of pining.

For all he knew, anything that could have potentially been a problem in his relationship with you had been addressed after that. Minho was happy, you were happy, and it all seemed to have taken its natural course.

Except for one maybe not so small thing…

Minho wanted you to move in with him. He’d honestly wanted it since before you got together. He missed you often, and he wanted to spend as much time with you as possible.

The distance during the week was starting to stress him out way more than he’d like to admit, and even if he’d been slowly making space in his flat for you, he knew he’d ask you sooner or later. He hadn’t brought the topic up after you got together because he knew your job was important to you, and moving in with him would probably mean you’d have to quit and find something else closer to where the den was.

He could offer to support you financially, but he just knew you wouldn’t have wanted that. The second you’d started working and being financially independent, you couldn’t imagine ever having to rely on someone else–that was what you had told him all those years ago, at least…

You moving in with him made so much sense, though. Some weekends, Minho would go over to your place, but you’d told him several times that you preferred his home over yours. You’d told him it was more lively, that you enjoyed the presence of the other pack members, and that the only thing you genuinely liked about your flat was that Sir Percival was in it.

Sir Percival was your elderly cat that you adopted when you were a child. He was one of the many cats Minho had rescued, and he was probably the reason you ever spoke to Minho in the first place. Back then, the day you met, you approached him only because he was trying to save Sir Percival’s entire litter that had been abandoned by the side of the road.

So, yes. You moving in with him to Chris’ den just made all the sense in the world to him. Especially at moments like these.

Whenever Minho got to lay on your bed like he was doing now, he could certainly understand why you felt that his flat was more homely. You hardly had any decor in your room, and the whole flat was in a similar state. You never particularly liked this place in the first place, but you stayed because it was close to work and rent was relatively cheap.

‘I’ll probably move out soon, so no need to go all in on the decoration’, you’d told Minho years ago when you moved in. You kept putting it off, and now here this place was, void of anything that would highlight your wonderful personality other than the cat toys littering the floor, and the cat tower in the corner of your living room.

Whenever Minho came over, Sir Percival always avoided coming to your room unless it was absolutely necessary. The cat had told Minho that if he ever walked in on them having sex again he’d purposefully ruin the mood by throwing up a hairball, so he preferred to stay in the living room, even if it meant he couldn’t sleep by your feet like he loved to do.

That was fair, Minho supposed. He didn’t feel comfortable having Sir Percival in the room when you were getting intimate, either, so he appreciated the privacy. 

Right now, though, since he had woken up in the middle of the night and hadn’t been able to fall asleep again, he was wondering if he should go out and bring Sir Percival to bed. Maybe his warmth and his purring could help him fall asleep again…

Unlike Minho, you were sleeping soundly next to him, with your back turned to him. If he stood up from this bed he might wake you up, and he didn’t want you to be in his situation… So he settled on focusing on your steady breathing while he waited for sleep to claim him again.

It was just as he was almost asleep again that a minute sound made his body jerk awake. 

It came from you. It was a whimper, barely even audible. But how could he not hear it with his enhanced senses? When you were so close?

It would’ve worried him, had the smell of your arousal not knocked the air straight out of his lungs.

Minho would’ve never imagined his sleepless night would’ve taken him to this intersection, but here he was. He realised he could do one of three things… One, he could ignore the fact that you were right there next to him, presumably having a wet dream… Two, he could wake you up to reenact whatever it was you were dreaming about… Or three, he could use this as an opportunity to indulge in something he hardly ever did…

Since he started a relationship with you, Minho and you had many opportunities to try new things. You were quite open to try any and every seemingly odd activity in the bedroom–be it anal, or role-play, or some light bondage, you were always down to try it. And when Minho brought up his little fantasy of touching you while you were asleep, you’d been more than ecstatic to try it out… To the point where he was sure if he hadn’t brought it up, you would’ve done so eventually.

There was something about the fact that you trusted him enough to let him do things to you while you were unconscious that excited him. Maybe it was a projection of all those nights back then that he’d spent trying not to fantasise about you when you slept together, or maybe it was simply the act itself that he inexplicably enjoyed… Regardless of what it was, your little whimpers had his mind clouding a bit.

Sometimes, before you fell asleep next to each other, you’d turn to him and tell him ‘Maybe I’ll wake up to a surprise tomorrow…’ with that lilt in your voice that just let him know exactly in which way you wanted him to wake you up. That had been the case last night, and Minho had considered doing it a bit later, when the sun was starting to rise at least. But he figured, since you were already having a bit of fun in your dreams, maybe a midnight treat wouldn’t hurt.

Scooting closer to you, his hand found your waist. He held you tight while he pressed his nose to your pulsepoint, right under your jaw. He could hear your blood flowing, your heart rate increasing, and the scent of your excitement had him almost salivating.

Dragging his hand from your waist to your hip, he carefully caressed your body over the fabric of your sleeping gown, just as he pressed his growing erection against your ass. A tiny moan escaped your mouth, but your steady heartbeat let him know you were still pretty much asleep.

Whatever it was you were dreaming about had you shuffling the tiniest bit, enough for your ass to rub against his crotch, and he could already feel a bit of wetness soiling the material of his sleeping shorts. His own fluids, to be precise. It was one of those things that shocked him after he turned, just how much fluid his body could produce. Be it saliva, or sweat, or cum… It was slightly inconvenient, but at the very least, you always seemed to enjoy it, so he supposed it wasn’t so bad.

Minho dragged his hand from where it’d been caressing your hip up your torso, stopping only when he was finally able to cup one of your breasts. He generously fondled and squeezed the flesh, not holding back one bit. If you woke up, you woke up, and if you didn’t, you didn’t. Simple as that.

Dragging the pad of one of his fingers over your stiffening nipple, he relished the way your heartbeat picked up, as well as the way you started to writhe a bit in his hold.

“You’re so soft, baby…” Minho couldn’t help but mumble against the skin of your neck, and you whined, almost like you were reacting to him. And maybe you were. He liked to believe that to be the case.

He pinched and twisted your nipple between his fingers, pressing kisses on your neck and grinding his now fully hardened length against your ass. “I wonder what you’re dreaming about, my kitten… Is it me? I hope it’s me…”

Minho was very quiet, but he hoped you could hear him even in your dreams. He figured you might’ve, considering how fast your heart was beating now.

He was genuinely planning on dragging this out for as long as possible, but when you mumbled something akin to his name, he simply couldn’t hold back any longer. He removed his hand from your breast after one final hefty squeeze, only to bring that same hand between your bodies. His digits made contact with your entrance, and he couldn’t help but take in a deep breath at just how wet you were.

He wondered how much of it was your own arousal, and how much of it was his own cum that might’ve remained there from when you had sex last night before going to bed. He didn’t come inside often, but when he did, the thought of you having a part of him within your warmth did things to him, it tickled a secluded area of his brain, and it certainly excited him. He supposed it was instinctual. One of those wolf things he hardly ever paid attention to.

Delaying no further, he freed himself out of his sleeping shorts, just enough to drag the tip of his cock up and down your drenched folds. Minho almost got winded when he heard the moan that came out of your mouth in response to his motions. Your lavender scent wrapping around every single one of his nerve-endings enticed him, and he just couldn’t deny himself anymore.

He usually preferred to make sure you were well stretched enough to take him in, but considering you’d been stretched plenty last night, he figured you’d be just fine. And he was proven correct when he finally pushed himself fully within your warmth, when the wetness between yours legs let him slide in with ease.

Minho couldn’t help but groan at the feeling, just as a moan of your own escaped your mouth.

“You’re so warm, baby…”

He pulled his hips back, only to push them forward to start a slow, pleasant rhythm. His hold was tight on your hip, your heart sounded like it was close to leaping out of your chest, and the second your walls clenched on his length, he just knew you’d wake up soon… You’d wake up exactly to what you had wanted.

“Oh–oh, Minho…”

There was no mistaking it anymore, your barely audible moans had slightly increased in tone, and you’d started to push your hips back a bit.

Minho just hummed in response, dragging his hand from your hip to your lower belly. You placed your own hand on top of his, lacing your fingers together and sighing contently.

The kisses he left on your neck and the exposed skin of your shoulder seemed to spur you on, the movement of your hips increased in pace, and he just increased his in return. He was mumbling nonsense against your skin, tightening his hold on your interlocked fingers, getting completely lost in the feel of your tight warmth around him.

Before he knew it, you had turned your body a bit, and he had pushed your legs apart to get better access to your heat.

With an arm below you for his hand to hold yours, he took advantage of this position by using his other hand to pull one of your legs over his hip and for his fingers to find their rightful place between your legs.

You just kissed him. You kissed him like you’d die if you didn’t, mumbling words of appreciation of your own between each kiss, broken up by moans and sighs and whimpers with every thrust of his hips and every circle drawn on your clit.

“You’re so good to me”, you mumbled, tightening your hold on his hand, moaning so prettily he almost blew then and there.

“And you to me”, he replied simply, picking up his pace, relishing your scent and your warmth and just… you.

Time always seemed to slow down whenever you had sex, especially at these hours of the night, to the point where he could never tell how long it’d been since that first thrust. All Minho could register was how incredibly good he felt, how your heart was thumping fast in your chest, and how hard you were clamping around his cock.

The sounds you made whenever you came undone under his touch and his motions were like music to his ears, they spurred him on, borderline urged him to come himself. And there was certainly hardly anything he would’ve enjoyed more right now than to blow his load while you were still spasming around him, while all you could mumble was his name, while all he could mumble was yours.

Your chest rose and fell with your deep breaths, and while the after effects of his orgasm still clung to every single one of his senses, you pulled him in for a slow, tender kiss. Minho immediately melted, holding you tighter and still enjoying the comfort of your inner walls.

When you pulled back from the kiss, he brushed his nose against yours, making you smile and giggle, and you sounded incredibly sleepy even after all that had transpired just minutes ago. He pulled you into his arms, entangling his legs with yours as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

Everything was calm around you. The room was barely illuminated by the lampposts outside your windows, and Minho suddenly felt like humming a random song you’d been listening to earlier in the evening… So he did, all as he caressed your hair.

You nuzzled your face further into his chest, wrapping an arm around his waist and holding him tight. Right then, Minho figured that every choice he had ever made, that everything that had happened to him, had taken him to this moment, and if that were truly the case, then he honestly wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

“Babe?” You mumbled, the sound slightly muffled against the fabric of his vest top.

“Hm?” Minho kept caressing your hair, your back, holding you close and keeping you there.

“I love you”.

He honestly couldn’t help but smile. Of course he knew you loved him. You’d shown him just how much countless times before. Not only throughout your relationship, but way before that… He’d honestly known since that time you hugged him when he had shapeshifted into a wolf the very first time.

“I love you, kitten, baby… So much”.

You pulled away from his chest and looked at him, with a blinding smile on your face. Granted, he could hardly see it in the dark room, but he saw enough. Enough to know just how much you cared. 

But alas, Minho was first and foremost your best friend, and even if he was melting on the inside with your confession, he just had to be annoying about it. “I can’t believe you beat me to say it first, though. I won’t ever forgive you”.

You gasped dramatically, bringing a hand to your mouth for emphasis. “Here I am? Baring my heart to you? And this is what I get? Fine, I won’t ever forgive you for never forgiving me”.

You were just about to turn away from him, he just knew. So he held you tighter, keeping you in place while he laughed. Your façade crumbled immediately, and you laughed with him, all while he kept pressing kisses on your cheeks.

“Guess I’ll just have to say it as much as possible to get the upper hand”, Minho mumbled against your cheek, just before he started leaving behind an ‘I love you’ after every kiss he pressed on your heated skin.

When your chuckles died down, and he was satisfied with the amount of times he had professed his love, silence enveloped you both once again. Minho simply laid on his back, hugging you close as you laid your head on his chest, right over his heart.

He wasn’t sure if it was the admittance of his feelings, or the hormonal rush of a good fuck, or your lavender scent that seemed to make him delirious sometimes, but, before he knew it, the words were coming out of his mouth with no way to stop them.

“Would you like to move in with me?”

No take-backsies now, he supposed.

You took in a deep breath, but remained silent for a moment.

It was just as Minho was about to panic that you finally spoke. “Do you think Chris would accept Sir Percival into the pack as well? I’m not leaving him behind”.

Minho couldn’t help but chuckle. “He’ll have to. Otherwise I’ll threaten him until he does”.

It was all a bluff… mostly.

Minho would respect any decision Chris took, but if it came to it, he kind of knew that if he laid out why it was important to him to take in both you and Sir Percival, Chris would agree, so he wasn’t particularly worried. Sir Percival already respected Chris, from what Minho knew, so he was almost ninety percent sure it wouldn’t be a problem.

You took in another deep breath, pulling yourself away from Minho’s hug so you could straddle him instead. With your full weight on his body and your hands on his chest, you looked down at him, taking in his features.

“I guess I’ll need to start applying for jobs, then”, you just smiled brightly at him.

Minho held your waist, smiling at you in return right before he pulled you down for a kiss. With you and Sir Percival there at the den, his family would finally be complete, and he felt as if his heart was about to burst at the thought.

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General Masterlist Minho's WereRoomies Instalments: Camping With Wolves & Dog Unleashed

[queenshelby]

Yes! Mr Murphy (Rewritten)

PART 36: FRIENDS

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Lots of Angst, Age Gap, Teacher x Student, Pregnancy Loss, Infertility

PLEASE COMMENT AND ENGAGE!

Later that day, when you arrived back at your apartment, you were greeted by Emma, who looked at you with gleaming eyes.

"So, how was your night?" she smiled, eager to hear about your encounter with Cillian.

"It was amazing," you confessed, blushing slightly as you recounted the events of the evening.

"You look like you did not get much sleep," Emma observed, running her fingers through your hair.

"No, we were busy all night," you chuckled, a hint of shyness lingering in your voice.

Emma's eyes sparkled with curiosity, and you could see she wanted to ask more questions.

"Of course you were. I am actually surprised, you know. He is 45 already, and male performance does decline at a certain age," Emma laughed teasingly as you blushed even more deeply, feeling the heat rising in your cheeks.

"Oh shut up," you giggled, playfully swatting her arm. "The sex is incredible and there is absolutely no decline in... whatever you are referring to," you laughed, trying to brush off the remark. But the truth was, your night with Cillian had been nothing short of phenomenal, leaving you wanting more and desperate to explore the depths of your passion.

"So, you are back together then?" Emma inquired curiously, her eyes twinkling with excitement.

"Yes, we decided to give it another shot," you confirmed, a smile spreading across your face.

"That's great!" Emma exclaimed, clapping her hands enthusiastically. "The age gap?" she then asked. "It's no longer a problem for him?" she wanted to know.

"No. It doesn't seem to be. He regrets ending it because of it," you explained, hoping to convey that Cillian has changed his mind about the age gap being an issue. "He sees me as a woman he loves, not just someone younger," you added, trying to reassure Emma that everything was fine.

"That's good! And you feel the same way?" Emma asked, genuinely interested in your feelings too.

"Yes, absolutely," you confirmed, smiling softly. "We may have a few hurdles ahead, but we are committed to working through them together."

Emma nodded in agreement, a satisfied smile on her face.

"Just be careful. The press will have a field day once they find out about your age and the fact that you were his student for a little while," Emma said with concern before asking you whether Cillian intended to make your relationship public.

"Well, he wants me to attend the BAFTAs with him, so I would say that he does, and I think that this shows just how much he believes in our relationship," you explained thoughtfully.

"The BAFTAs?" Emma asked, chin dropping. "That's big. I think he is nominated as best leading actor," Emma remarked, wide-eyed. "The media attention might be intense, though," she then pointed out, and you nodded in agreement, considering the potential consequences of attending such a high-profile event with Cillian.

"Yes, I'm aware of that. We've discussed it, and I believe we can handle the pressure," you told her, sounding confident in your decision. "Despite, I cannot not go. Kit is going too and I don't trust her," you continued, your gaze locked with hers.

"I wouldn't trust her either Y/N. He slept with her and the fact that their one-off encounter ended up in the paper seems to be too much of a co-incidence for my liking," Emma told you thoughtfully, causing your mind to tick over. "Does she think she still stands a chance with Cillian with you in the picture?" Emma then wanted to know and you shrug your shoulders.

"I honestly don't know, but something about her attitude makes me uncomfortable," you admitted, expressing your growing concern over Kit's behaviour.

"Maybe you should talk to Cillian about it," Emma suggested carefully.

"I can't do that Em. We only just got back together and the last thing I want is sound like the jealous girlfriend," you told her with a sigh, leaning against the countertop in the kitchen.

"Good point," Emma agreed, placing her hand on your shoulder. "But, remember, sometimes jealousy can be healthy. It helps you evaluate what you truly want and value in a relationship," she advised, offering some friendly advice.

"True," you acknowledged, thinking about your previous insecurities when it came to Cillian and the fact that he was sought after by many women, not just you. 

"The worst thing is, we will be sharing an apartment with her in London," you grimaced, recalling the prospect of spending several days in close proximity to Kit. "I don't think I can handle it," you muttered, your brow furrowing in worry.

"But that's perfect. You should mark your territory," Emma encouraged, her eyes alight with mischief. "Show her that she doesn't stand a chance, Y/N," she told you and you laughed lightly, shaking your head at Emma's suggestions. 

"What are you suggesting, Em?" you asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Well, what I am suggesting is that, after the award show, you go back to your apartment and have very loud sex with your boyfriend. So loud that she can hear it in her bedroom too. Make the bedrails creek and ride him like there is no tomorrow, babe," Emma giggled mischievously as she watched you blush again. "She won't be able to resist wondering what's happening in the other room," Emma whispered conspiratorially, nudging you further down the path of her plan.

"Em, please stop," you pleaded, laughing nervously as you tried to dismiss her wild idea.

"Don't worry, sweetie. I'm just playing," Emma laughed, patting your shoulder comfortingly. "Just enjoy the moment with Cillian and let the rest take care of itself," she advised with a knowing smile.

"Now, what are you going to wear?" Emma interjected, changing the subject abruptly. "You need something stunning to wear at the BAFTAs," she told you and you gave her a little smile.

"Well, I was hoping that you could make me a dress?" you hesitated, biting your lip as you awaited her response.

"I was hoping that you would ask..." Emma replied excitedly, already planning out your outfit. "I know, let's make it a red silk gown with a plunging neckline and a floor-length skirt. The fabric will hug your curves perfectly, showing off your killer body while maintaining elegance and sophistication," Emma described, her eyes filled with confidence and excitement.

"Red? Really?" you asked, surprised by her choice. 

"How about black with some lace?" Emma then asked, knowing very well that you were not one for colour. 

"Black with lace sounds perfect," you agreed, feeling reassured by her choice and, over the next couple of weeks, Emma diligently worked on creating the perfect dress for you to wear at the awards. She chose luxurious fabrics, intricate designs, and carefully crafted each piece to fit your unique figure flawlessly.

Two weeks later...

When the dress was finally complete, you couldn't help but feel mesmerized by its beauty. The black silk flowed gracefully around your body, highlighting your femininity and alluring curves. The daring cutouts on the bodice accentuated your decolletage, drawing attention to your cleavage and evoking a sense of mystery. The elegant, delicate lace lining brought an air of sophistication to the entire ensemble, making it both captivating and breathtaking.

As you stood in front of the mirror, admiring yourself, Emma took a step back, observing your reaction intently. "Wow, Emma, this dress is stunning," you exclaimed, turning around to reveal the entire gown. "The attention to detail is impeccable," you added, running your hands along the lace.

"Thank you, sweetheart," Emma replied, her heart swelling with pride.  

"I never wore a dress like this before. It feels strange," you confessed, feeling both excited and apprehensive about the idea of wearing such a bold outfit. "I usually prefer more casual clothes," you admitted sheepishly, turning away from the mirror to face Emma.

"This dress is an investment, not just in your wardrobe, but also in your confidence," Emma assured you, reading your concerns accurately. "Trust me, you'll look sensational in it," she added with conviction, trying to boost your self-esteem.

"Despite, it's the BAFTAs. You have to wear a gown," Emma insisted, knowing that you couldn't possibly wear jeans and a t-shirt to such an exclusive event. "And anyway, it's time you start stepping out of your comfort zone. This is the perfect opportunity," Emma continued, pressing the point.

"I guess you're right," you conceded, accepting the reality of the situation before reminding her that you had to leave soon as a dinner to attend to with Cillian and his children tonight.

***

After having spent the morning with Emma, you made your way back to Cillian's apartment, which is where you had been staying every night since you got back together two weeks ago.

As you entered the apartment, you noticed Cillian sitting on the couch, watching television. When he saw you walk in, he smiled warmly and gestured for you to join him.

"So, how did it go?" he asked, referring to your meeting with Emma earlier today.

"It went really well. Emma designed a beautiful dress for me to wear. She is incredibly talented," you told him proudly, unable to hide your excitement.

"Oh, I'm looking forward to seeing you in it. I have no doubt that you will look incredible," Cillian said, smiling affectionately at you before pulling you atop of him to give you a playful kiss. 

Your heart fluttered, and you felt the heat rising in your cheeks as you pulled away, giggling nervously. You couldn't help but notice the scent of his cologne mixed with the subtle smell of his skin, a combination that seemed to envelop you like a warm blanket.

"I love you, you know?" he then said, tenderly holding your face in his hands. His eyes were full of sincerity, making your heart race faster.

"I love you too," you responded earnestly, leaning in to seal your declaration with a soft kiss just as Cillian's daughter, Nina, came walking out of her room.

"Ew, guys," she complained playfully, rolling her eyes at you both. "Get a room," she said. 

Laughing, you glanced at Cillian, who smiled and gently pushed you away.

"So gross. I still don't see why you find him attractive Y/N, but by all means...," Nina teased, crossing her arms defiantly.

"Oh come on," Cillian protested, giving his daughter a good-natured shove. 

"Well, for what it's worth, I think your dad is very handsome," you teased, smirking at Cillian, who chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully. 

"Thanks, darling," he replied, grinning before suggesting for you to get ready for dinner at Bob's house.

Having dinner with all of his friends, most of which you had not met yet, made you nervous. But you knew that if you wanted to build a future with Cillian, you had to confront these fears and be open to getting to know his circle of friends.

You took a deep breath, feeling the courage grow within you. This was not about your past insecurities, but rather an opportunity to connect with the man you loved.

As you prepared for the evening, you slipped into a casual outfit. A pair of jeans and a black jumper, plain and simple. Since Cillian's friends were older, you wanted to appear older yourself and Cillian noticed that you were somewhat nervous about the night ahead.

"You know, you look absolutely beautiful tonight." He said. You smiled, slightly embarrassed.

"Thanks Cillian. I am trying to look, you know, a bit older I suppose," you explained, biting your lip nervously.

"Why?" he asked, clearly confused by your concern.

"Well, your friends are older, and I would like to fit in," you explained with a slight blush. "I don't want anyone to think that I'm not right for you because of my age," you told him, causing Cillian's brows to furrow.

"They won't think that Y/N. Despite, they all already know how old you are" Cillian assured you confidently, brushing aside your concerns. "You're more than capable of holding your own. Just be you and you will be fine," he then said and you nodded, appreciating his support, but still couldn't shake the feeling of anxiety lingering within you.

***

When you arrived at Bob's house, you could feel the anticipation in the air as everyone gathered together in the living room.

Your heart thumped loudly against your ribcage, and your palms grew sweaty with anxiety. Cillian guided you towards the group, introducing you to his friends one by one. Each person greeted you with warmth and welcomed you into their circle. Despite your initial fears, you found yourself opening up and enjoying their company, engaging in lively conversation about movies, books, and travel experiences.

Bob and Lorna, Cillian's friends, were delightfully hospitable.

Throughout the evening, they ensured that you were comfortable and well taken care of. Their warmth put you at ease, allowing you to relax and truly enjoy the company of these fascinating individuals. As the night progressed, the conversations became more animated, and you found yourself joining in on various topics effortlessly.

Dermont especially proved to be particularly charming as always. He shared stories of his life as a radio host, a career which he had recently given up and, after a little while, you even met Cillian's godson, Lucas, when he woke up from his slumber.

His adorable face lit up as he looked around the room, taking in the gathering of people who surrounded him. As he reached out for Cillian, he quickly picked him up, cradling him in his arms and whispering soothing words into his ear.

"Look at you, little man, growing so much," Cillian cooed, gently stroking Lucas' hair as the baby nestled closer to him.

You watched the tender exchange, feeling a sense of contentment as you observed the undeniable bond between them.

"Would you like to hold him?" Lorna then asked you, but you shook your head.

"No, thank you. It's alright, I'm not good with babies" you replied politely, taking a step back to allow Lorna to take Lucas from Cillian's arms.

As you stood there, you couldn't help but feel a sense of longing for your own childhood, wishing that you could have experienced the love and joy that a family could have provided for you. 

Growing up in foster care was not easy and it made you not want to have a family of your own.

"You know, if you ever have a baby with dad, I will be able to babysit for you. I will even give you mates rates," Nina teased, looking at you while standing amongst her friends, namely Dermont's two daughters.

"That's sweet of you, Nina, but I don't think we will be having a baby. Thank you though," you replied carefully, returning her smile.

"Hmm, never say never Y/N. We started fairly late, and Cillian is still a few years younger than Bob. So, there is time, right Cilly?" Lorna said to you both, causing Cillian to look at you with concern, knowing how uncomfortable you were talking about the prospect of starting a family.

"I can't have children," you responded with a forced smile, hoping to change the subject. "I had an operation a few months ago after an incident and I...," you began to say, and Cillian intervened. 

"Let's change the topic," he said while Cillian squeezed your hand gently, comforting you.

"Okay, yes. Of course. I am sorry," Lorna apologized swiftly, seemingly aware of the delicate nature of the discussion.

"It's fine. Really. Having children is not on my radar, so don't apologise. It's all good," you told Lorna and Cillian gave you a reassuring squeeze again.

The atmosphere lightened as another friend entered the room following a long shift at work. The laughter and conversation filled the room once again, and you felt relieved that the uncomfortable topic had been shifted. You settled into the evening, continuing to engage with Cillian's friends in a deeper manner, discovering a connection with many of them.

The night flew by, leaving behind a whirlwind of laughter, stories, and shared experiences. At some point during the evening, the conversation turned to the idea of a second child for Bob and Lorna. You listened intently as they discussed the joys and challenges of raising a child and witnessed firsthand the genuine affection they held for their son. Watching the interactions between Bob, Lorna, and Lucas solidified your decision to remain childless, ensuring that your relationship with Cillian remained focused on each other though.

You couldn't deny the fact that having a child would create a new layer of complications in your life, something you didn't want or need.

With Cillian being so busy with his acting career, the added responsibility would have only created stress for both of you. You decided to put all thoughts of having a child behind you and instead focus on enjoying the present moment with Cillian and his friends.

The night ended with heartfelt goodbyes, and as you stepped outside into the cool night air, you realized that this experience had transformed your perspective about Cillian's friends. They were no longer just people whom you feared to disappoint, but now individuals whom you had formed connections with through shared laughter and thoughtful discussions.

Unbeknownst to you, they all told Cillian that they really enjoyed your company. According to them, you were a great match for him and the way you engaged with Cillian's daughter Nina, made their hearts melt.

In their eyes, you seemed wise beyond your years and you were a perfect companion for their friend.

Tag List Insert

@sunbeamseas @saint-ackerman @oatmealisweird @naxxsstuff @amanda08319 @r-m-cidnah @elysiannook @cillshot @infireddabdab @tastycakee @harrysbestiee @lilybabe22 @adalynlowell @henrywintersdearestgirl @ietss @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @ryiamarie @axionn

@heidimoreton @nela-cutie @futurecorps3 @delishen @nosebleeds-247 @thirteenis-myluckynumber @gills-lounge @hjmalmed @lost-fantasy @tiredkitten @sidechrisporn @smallsoulunknown @charqing-qing @hopefulinlove @aporiasposts @shycrybaby @me-and-your-husband @hjmalmed @lacontroller1991 @galxydefender @aporiasposts

@galxydefender @hunnibearrr @saint-ackerman @lunyyx @gentlemonsterjennie1 @ihavealotoffandomssorry @nadloves @lost-fantasy @nolucesn@mcavoy-girl @hjmalmed @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @blushykiss @tatumrileyslover @teawithsatanx @orijanko @rhaenyra4ever @xcinnamonmalfoyx @budugu @nadloves @kmc1989 @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie

[calisources]

MISC THE VAMPIRE DIARIES SENTENCE MEME. this includes spoilers for the show so approach with care. change names and pronouns as you see fit.

"You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure and even a little danger."

"He's your first love. I intend to be your last, however, long it takes."

"And honestly when I'm with her, I completely forget what I am."

"I've been in love. It's painful, pointless, and overrated."

"What happens when the one who broke your heart is the only one who can fix it?"

"I like this. You... walking on eggshells around me because you think I'm going to explode. It's very suspensable."

"I do not go behind people's backs and torture them. I like my enemies to look me in the eye and see the depth of my rage."

"If I have to hear doppelgänger one more time, I'm going to have to learn how to spell it."

"I do believe in killing the messenger. Know why? Because it sends a message."

"Life is too cruel, if we cease to believe in love, why would we want to live?"

"Humanity is a vampire's greatest weakness. No matter how easy it is to turn it off, it keeps trying to fight its way back in.Sometimes I let it."

"Kiss me or kill me. We both know you're only capable of one."

"People have been after me for a thousand years, but I'm always one step ahead."

"Sometimes the world turns good people into bad people."

"We live by a code of loyalty. We take care of each other. It's my duty and honor to help you. Please let me."

"Mother made us vampires. She didn't make us monsters. We did that to ourselves."

"Perhaps one day, in a year or even in a century. You'll turn up at my door and let me show you what the world has to offer."

"Do you have any idea how rare love is? In a thousand years, I have found it but twice, and when I have, I have honored it."

"You're a vampire, sweetheart. I don't think you'll ever be okay again."

"It's not a crime to love what you cannot explain."

"It's funny how one event can change the outcome of your entire life."

"We choose our own path. Our values and our actions, they define who we are."

“You know, over the years, I've had my share of friends, enemies, lovers, losses, and triumphs. With time, they all begin to run together, but you will find the real moments are vibrant. The rest just fades away. Your pain will fade.”

“A warrior fights for what they believe in. A warrior fights for his family.”

“but in the one moment you two could have chosen to stand by me, you chose to stand against me, to side with my enemies.”

“You don't arm yourself after war has been declared, (name). You build your army so big that no one dares pick the fight.”

“You've said all that needs to be said…I'll play the role I've been given.”

[theerurishipper]

What Marinette did at the end of season 5 is dangerous lesson to internalize to young children because if people are dissecting and going deeply in depth with s5 episodes like Derision and the final two parter episode and mind you these are adults or at least pass the age intended for this show demographic how are young kids living similar lives to adrian or chloe going to be affected? Kids brats or not react differently the whole good victim mentality narrative in this show is disgusting when it comes to the topic of akumas and how it relates to mental health. Like if there is a chloe or adrien child watching this show I feel horrible for them because what hope or closure do they really get from this show what lesson imparted in this show is actually being taught in goodwill like did the producers or whoever behind it not see how bad the messaging with their abuse apologist is how are parents not complaining or at the very least concerned?

I was whirl-winded by the finale in of itself and what I got was Marinette essentially following through with the villains plan and keeping it from her love interest while simultaneously gaslighting about his father decisions and making the parent abuser a hero and his victim Adrien in awe.

If adults are trying to rationalize or do whatever they can to scrap whatever integrity left in Marinette character decisions making theories to salvage the wreckage done in the finale two-parter how are children or middle-schoolers rationalizing this because I deeply sincerely hope they don't ever internalize anything from this show the message they impart especially in one of the episodes revolving from Chloe Father especially and the leak episodes they eventually had to scrap because of the backlash is so damn bad.

Like forget the potential what if or canons or annoyance the fandom didn't get their wants with this show because ultimately the show is for kids not them what lesson do we learn here?

I am actually worried. This is a magical girl cartoon aren't the lesson they're supposed to invoke about to teach love and their is hope to change like Digimon for instance they had a character named Ken and Daiki encouraging him and his belief in the mc made him changed so much into a better person. But no, instead Marinette being like Chloe can never change there is no hope from her mouth makes me want to wrangle the writers and people behind it I hope they aren't parents because wtf? Who behind the decisions there for children to consume this sort of trash messaging in forgiving abuse apologist like Gabe.

She's supposed to be a role model but no instead Astruc uses her as a tool to spout whatever grievances he has with the fandom onto the show and characters inside it especially Chloe. I really don't recommend a show like MLB to anyone honestly unless they are aware of this show dumb messaging and people buying into it.

Exactly. It's so obvious that Marinette just ended up becoming a mouthpiece for the writers to spout their own opinions towards the end, like having her go on numerous anti-Chloe tirades. And I'm not saying that Chloe doesn't deserve to be called out, but it's done so unnaturally, and it feels like the writers are just desperate to get us to hate her without acknowledging any of the character depth they gave her.

And I'm not a Chloe stan or anything, and I do think that it's okay to show that sometimes, people can't change and that victims of abuse can become abusers themselves. But we didn't get that. We got the show telling us, in no uncertain terms, that Chloe is bad because she's evil inside and not because of abuse that we see on screen, and that her father who enabled her and taught her how to be this way is a victim and is more redeemable than her. The fuck is this???

And it just gets worse, because Chloe is evil inside and irredeemable and deserves more abuse as her comeuppance, but the magical terrorist/child abuser gets off scott-free? Gabriel Agreste gets what he wanted and dies happy and content while leaving behind a favorable legacy? What the fuck?

So yeah. I feel bad for the abused children who are watching this show, who are being told that their abuse doesn't matter, that they are just being overly sensitive/are evil inside, and only deserve more abuse. What a wonderfully horrible message.

Thank you for your ask!

[celeste444spacey]

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY

Hey guys, i made a post and i took it down cause i think it could have come across in a wrong way to people and it wasn't intended to be that way.

So this could be a really long post since i'm getting to what i meant in depth. Not really a manifestation post either, more of a mindset and growth one i guess.

TW: If you are someone who is experiencing/ has experienced any trauma, this could be a sensitive topic for you. Please take care babes. Sending heaps of love your way.

I do mean this post in a reassuring way.

Please don't feel like your trauma, pain and experiences are invalid. Please do share them, ask for help, cry and feel them if you must, there is nothing to be ashamed of.

YOU ARE POWERFUL REMEMBER THAT.

So, it hurts, i know it does, i don't care if it's a big way u have been hurt or a small way. It's valid, that pain is real, yes.

But i'm here to say, it doesn't have to be that way.

You are a victim or maybe you feel like one.

Look at one of the definitions of victim

a person who has come to feel helpless and passive in the face of misfortune��or ill-treatment.

It's being powerless, hopeless, helpless whatever it may be. It's having your power taken away.

It probably feels like your bad experiences, your pain, your problems and your trauma haunts you. It feels like no matter where you go, what path you take, the triggers can show up like ghosts of the past.

It's scary and it's miserable. Not a feeling you would wish on ANYONE.

And it's so so hard to move on right? It feels like you cannot. It feels like no matter what this pain will continue to define you.

And here's what i want to say. TAKE THE POWER BACK.

You stop suffering when you realize your power. And it might take a while. And i don't care how big your problem is or how small, they control you only when you let it.

You know as someone who was severely depressed and anxious, who had just gotten into manifestation at the time, one thing i have learnt?

My mind. It can be my sworn enemy or it can be my right hand woman.

Through manifestation, mindset shifts, and faith and hope, I found out that we have more control over our internal world than we often realize.

I was suffering academically, and some personal stuff in life wasn't working out for me. It was also the pandemic and shit was like really really bad. I don't want to get into my personal things cause i don't feel comfy sharing it.

I had a predicted score of like 62%. It was so not enough. I was a sophomore and in my country, the grades really really matter that year.

I decided to manifest: Grades and the stuff in my personal life to resolve. It took fucking months okay? Things got REALLY worse. REALLY REALLY. I didn't give up. I refused to. I couldn't accept this reality when i knew my potential. I just didn't want shit to be this way anymore

Took months but finally, one good day in the first week of august, it all resolved. All of it. Almost a year later.

I got 92% which was exactly the grade i scripted. Things in personal life got resolved. Every pawn on the chessboard fell right into place.

Did that mean the pain left me? No, there were triggers, yes. There were moments, but i did decide to move on, honestly not completely over shit yet.

MOVING ON IS LIKE, HELL BUT IT'S SO WORTH IT

It is like really tough to move on, i know, it takes time. Could take weeks, months, years to move on. You might relapse into the darkness, maybe you won't.

But is it worth it? Yes. Is it important? Absolutely.

It is so easy to go down the road of feeling like it's always gonna be this way, giving up, self loathing and stuff. It's so not worth it though, cause it comes at the cost of what you deserve, and that is a beautiful amazing life.

When i say don't be a victim anymore, you know what i mean?

Stop seeing yourself as someone powerless, as someone who has nothing good meant for them or someone who deserves to be in pain.

I mean start seeing yourself as this badass person who went through the most ruthless of circumstances but still pulled through. It took her time but goddamn she did it. She is strong, brave and courageous. She took help when she needed to. She realized her self worth. She speaks out and only accepts the best for herself.

You are so worth of EVERY SINGLE UNIT OF LOVE THERE IS ON THE WORLD

You are so worth every hug, every blessing, every opportunity there is on this planet.

YOU ARE FUCKING POWERFUL MY LOVE, SO FUCKING FULL OF POTENTIAL AND LIFE AND JOY AND LOVE

And the best fuck off you can give to your problems, the people who inflicted pain on you is growth. It's taking back your power, taking control of it and saying

Hey this is MY fucking life you bitch

[cannibal-nightmares]

semi-incoherent babbling

terminal velocity. I'm trying to reamin hoepful and keep the arrow in my mind straight, to pretend normalcy, but he mentioned i might be burnt ou t and he is aboslutely correct. i have too much on my plate. I regret to say that my hypothesis on my trip was correct in that i figured it was going to be a throw of the parking brake only for the lurch forward once it was let off again. dgmw im glad I did it and Im glad I went, but it felts like temporarily ejecting a tape i had to inevitably put back in, in terms of attempting to soothe my focus. and i dont mean "too much" as in mild annoyance in my circumstance or of fun things and plans that i can just move around and cancel, I mean "too much" to the point of feeling o nthe edge of defeat w no way out. I'm struggling to reply to people appropriately or at the very least to a capacity I would prefer to would otherwise intend (in timing or pattern or depth or without mask). I have so much of work and personal work, I try to fall to hobbies and art as an escape but evern thinking about personal endeavours makes my ears ring. its not anyone's fault, it's all just become a lot and then some and more. I keep thinking about three things: "ceci n'est pas une fucking drille," Han-Tyumi's "critical density," and the "& Secure" comic strip wehre they're at a traffic light.Thinking about work makse me feel sick, thinking about going out this weekend makes me dizzy, thinking about finishing new art makes my throat uncomfortable, trying to talk to people is like sludge. its not anyones fault; i dontn owe anyone here anything. or anyone really. this life has been feeling more and more like a video game and every day I feel more and more confused as to why I dont just play a different game. and i dont just mean "work vs hobbies"--that would fit the metaphor in that i *could* "just" play something else--but i mean basic functions and further basic circumstance. i have to sleep? xyz? what a disappointing game mechanic when the difficulty setting is already jacked. and before i get pinterest advice, i should clarify: i dont know what relaxing is. i know that sounds dramatic, but i dont. I've discussed it before, but "winding down" doesnt make sense to me. It either is or it isnt;y. So what do i do? I cant tell if I'm genuinely asking or if its rhetorical. maybe i should try picking up skating again but i know how and why that ends every time. thats the only thing i can think of that can brute-force myslf out of my own head. though, thn, begs the question: with what time?

i do hate to whine cause theres nothing anyone can do do about it. but i digress, i do feel i owe him and that ive disappointed him. I know he'd/he'll argue against it, but if I am disapointed in myself, he is autmatically encompassed in that cocophany within my own perspective. idk if that makes sense at all. it just seems that the second i pause to think about anything other than work/duty, i realize how loud my ears have been ringing,. and I still have a long way to go. I question, i suppose, if I will spend my rest--once i finally get it--recovering rather than enjoying. it always ends up this way and, honestly, it doesnt feel like its my fault. and that just makes me enraged with nowehre to go with it.

this must be how altamont felt, hm? im writing this to just say, if i vanish its because i need it. it's because i need it.

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

Ooo your fic writing asks list had a lot of fun options! Imma go with #19: What's the most interesting topic you've researched for a fic?

This is really really hard 😂😂😂

So the thing about interesting topics is that they often sorta come about as collateral to whatever I was trying to research. Usually I have an idea for the plot. I only need to do enough research to confirm if the idea is scientifically sound or if I need to include some supernatural hijinks to make it plausible. And then I wind up down a rabbit hole of a bunch of other things I did not intend to research, but here we are anyway.

Needed to know how long a body would take to decompose / what evironments would preserve it best and oh wow. Did you know how toxic modern embalming can be for the environment. (Also if you ever need to engineer a mummy for a story. Try freezing, sealing in a dry environment, or soaking in a bog for best results).

Needed to know if my characters could dig a well in a high desert. Oops accidentally read half of a 50 page report on an Arizona geological survey. And by the way did you know that the deepest Depth-to-Water in Arizona is over 2,000 feet down. (I had to scrap a plotpoint after that discovery).

Honestly by far the most interesting discovery was that salamanders can breathe through their skin, and regrow their limbs (weirdos) these being tangential discoveries from the initial point of the research. Which was that Janeway and Paris probably did not do the horizontal tango to make their three salamander children. More likely he dropped a sperm packet on the ground. And she "internalized" it. 🦎🦎🦎

This next one is a spoiler for an upcoming chapter so under the cut...

Only in Star Trek do you need to ask the real questions. Like what if a cold blooded character was gestating a warmblooded hybrid child (no one tell me Cardassians aren't cold blooded. I am 80,000 words in. It's too late now). This took a jigsaw puzzle's worth of google searches to piece together. Differences in Cold vs. Warmblooded species. What organs contribute to warm-bloodedness. Can thyroid hormones cross a placenta. I digress - Did you know that the same evolution that spurred the development of warm-blooded circulatory systems also leaves the body more vulnerable to cardiac damage. (I forget exactly how I found myself at this discovery but good god damn did it come in handy).

[robotlesbianjavert]

Bro what happened to AFO he used to be scary and deserving respect. Now he’s a clown and probably Shigaraki’s grandpa. All Might’s arc too, the iron suit felt last minute af.

EVERYONE REMEMBER KAMINO. THE KAMINO ARC. WHERE ALL FOR ONE'S VERY PRESENCE GAVE THE STUDENTS PANIC ATTACKS. @stillness-in-green is right to rag on his big move being to bulk up his ridiculous arm for ridiculous punches it was a sign of things to come.

like the thing is. villain decay is a real phenomenon. it's one thing to present a villain as intimidating and threatening. it's another thing to actually follow through on that intimidation and threat factor. we can get told that All For One is an evil genius, but horikoshi himself is not an evil genius and will have understandable trouble tapping into that. not to mention life for a mangaka is hard, and maintaining the energy needed for tight, intense, in-depth characterization can be difficult for every aspect of a narrative, your big bad least of all.

addtionally, a lot of All For One's early allure also existed in a light touch and sparse appearances. he can retain an air of mystery, we have more room to speculate about his motivations and relationships, he made for an intriguing foil to how all might seemingly deconstructed certain tenets of superhero stories. once AFO is on the front line in the last act, we lose all of that.

but above all of that. and i actually mentioned this with my friends earlier today. is that i fully believe that All For One was always a character in flux, and that horikoshi never had a solid idea of what he was going to do with him.

obviously we know that horikoshi's ideas for the plot and the endgame have shifted a lot over the years. most notably, the way the story keeps being so much longer than he intended. or how the heroes rising movie riffed elements of one idea for an ending. and i guess recently it was revealed that he originally intended for endeavour to die in the PFL/Jakku battle, but changed his mind while working on the high-end battle. this is pretty expected with manga - you can have a general plan going in, but unless you're crazy disciplined a lot of things are going to be by the seat of your pants. (conversely, there are story elements that horikoshi stubbornly clung to, like shouji having a big plot despite doing the bare minimum of set up to earn that big plot. but that's besides the point.)

All For One comes across to me like horikoshi's biggest question mark for his part in the storyline. i know a lot of people carry on like him possessing shigaraki was a no-brainer and the only way the plot was going to go, but i got the impression that horikoshi set it up so that he COULD do the possession plot if he found it necessary, but that he could also choose another, non-possession path if necessary (we must always hold his comments about best jeanist's quirk close). remember, a big theory was that instead of springing All For One out of prison, shigaraki would kill him and take his place as the true big bad. honestly, AFO chilling in jail for the second act left as an option for a lot of things that horikoshi COULD do, but also an obligation to do SOMETHING.

i got the same sense throughout the third act where horikoshi could (and did) just fall back on him being a Born Evil, Cause Of All Disaster plot device, but i felt like there were some vague hints and general leeway where he could have a deeper and more complex character, and a more meaningful relationship with his brother, if horikoshi wanted to pull thay trigger. he didn't! but he could have.

another piece in my "flux character" argument is the recent reveal that AFO and yoichi are actually twins. at no point prior to the story was this ever indicated - they were always just described as "big brother" and "little brother", with the obvious read of them having some years bt them. them being twins doesn't really come across as a big Twist, but a recontextualization that makes it "easier" (in the broadest sense possible) to sell AFO as Born Evil. because otherwise, horikoshi would have to decide on what AFO and his relationship with his parent(s) looked like before yoichi was born, and giving AFO any additional backstory beyond his possessiveness of yoichi and his greed over everything throws a wrench into that Born Evil character. i honestly think the twin thing is a retcon, rather than horikoshi's original intention, because it was just easier to write at the point of the story with whatever stress horikoshi is under.

and it's a shame! All For One might have lost a lot of threat in this last act, but he was funny, and there was potential to do more with him. it is what it is.

all might tho that was just dumb as hell. you expect me to believe he remembers enough of his students to recreate their quirks mechanically. i wish he died.

[vampire-exgirlfriend]

so youve talked about daemon. but what are your thoughts on alicent?

Here, have some unhinged Alicent meta, anon who obviously wants me to get beat up.

Where the fuck do I even start with Alicent Hightower?

So I actually do enjoy the changes from the book to the show, at least in the first half of season one. I think that the added intrigue and drama of having her and Rhaenyra be friends and contemporaries added a lot of good potential. I love the angle of that first forbidden love (that was actually Emily’s idea, not the show runners, so stop being weird about that, certain TB people). It added depth to her character and gave us a taste of how much she would change as the story unfolds. Young Alicent is a sad girl, but still a girl full of hope, who had dreams and a best friend that became her family. To a lot of people, she’s very relatable. She’s sassy (the gossip at the tourney will never not be one of my favorite scenes), she’s smart, she works hard to learn and to impress those around her. And then, when tragedy strikes, she’s pulled away from Rhaenyra, the person she wanted to comfort in the ways that Alicent had found comfort in when her own mother died, and essentially pimped out by her father to the king (we can have a separate conversation about the whole Laena thing, which I do actually view as very different from what Otto did with Alicent), sent in her dead mother’s clothes to a grown man’s rooms, alone, to “soothe his grief.” There is very little left to the imagination about what Otto intended with this (I pretty firmly believe that Viserys took her maidenhead the night before the announcement was made that he would marry her instead of Laena and that’s why Alicent is wearing the same dress and jewelry the next day). 

So you have this fifteen year old girl, who was assaulted by a man she’s known all her life, the father of her best friend, and king of the realm. She’s rightfully terrified, she sees her life flashing before her eyes, she sees the implosion of the one friendship she really has. And honestly, the lead up to this is where Alicent loses me a bit. She is incredibly isolated, we see this. We see how she and Rhaenyra are held up as women with power, but powerless to do anything with it - it is power in name only. They are portrayed as each other's safe harbor in the storm. And I find myself asking ‘why didn’t Alicent go to Rhaenyra? Why didn’t she confide in her best friend about this, when that confiding would have the power to remove her from this situation, or at least, have her be less alone in it and have her best friend know what’s going on?’ Like we know, Alicent is a smart girl. So I will blame this one on the writing. Because it genuinely doesn’t compute to me. Yes, her father said “keep quiet.” Viserys said “keep quiet.” But, in a more real life scenario, would she have kept quiet? Especially before the guilt and shame of any sexual events (i.e assualt by the king) have happened and made the emotional spiral messier. I very much understand how sexual assault makes us clam up, and I, in no way, would ever shame or brow beat anyone for how they handle that. But what about the months before that happened? We are constantly shown how these girls share and gossip and spend all of their time together. It would have made sense for Alicent to be like "this is happening and I don't like it and I'm nervous." So, to me, this is more of a forced drama point to push the narrative along. It’s clunky and awkward and doesn’t make sense for the people that we now know Rhaenyra and Alicent to be. 

It was the first moment where I was like “bad call, Alicent.” But I do think that this clunky narrative choice by the writers does play into the person that we see Alicent grow into, which is where she almost completely loses me. 

Alicent Hightower is both victim and abuser. These are two things that can be true at one time, and I can be full of both sympathy for her plight and fury at the way she treats those around her. She has been isolated and preyed upon by her father, and assaulted and made to birth babies for a man who doesn’t care for her or for them. She has led a life of trauma, and it twisted her into something unrecognizable from the girl we met in episode one. 

And she made Rhaenyra the center of that, the touchstone of her righteous rage. 

She becomes fixated on the Velaryon boy’s lack of Valyrian features (which is an extension on the bad blood that grew between her and Rhaenyra when she found out that Rhaenyra and Criston slept together - do not come at me about which way the power dynamics skew in that situation). Why the show made the change to Rhaenys’ black hair and darker coloring will never fail to both astound and piss me off. This was meant to be vague. It was meant to not be able to be pinned down because those boys could have easily gotten their grandmother’s coloring. But whatever. Even still, Alicent’s treatment of Rhaenyra and Joffrey immediately after his birth is nothing short of fucking atrocious at best and abusive at worst. Even Laenor’s line of “haven’t we moved past this by now” shows us that this has been going on for the last eleven years.

That said, there are eleven years of missing pieces here. And we as the audience are left to interpret what could have gone on in that time. But to me, it looks like Alicent could not come to grips with the fact that Rhaenyra no longer saw her as someone that she could trust, that she could confide in. Rhaenyra took the omission of the fact that Alicent was spending time with Viserys (of her own volition or not, Rhaenyra has no idea, because Alicent kept it a secret, and we can’t look at that through the modern lens we want to. Because fifteen year old girls were married to men in their forties all the time, despicable as it is) and felt that it was the deathblow to their friendship, which further isolated them both.

We see that Alicent has become more pious over the years, which makes sense because 1) the Hightowers have a very deep connection to and relationship with the faith of the seven 2) she says in an early episode that the sept is where she goes to feel closer to her mother, and she is very much isolated at this point, needing that connection, and 3) it gives her a more tangible reason for her hatred for Rhaenyra’s children (more than just the show narrative idea of “hey, Alicent can’t get over a pseudo breakup with her childhood sort of girlfriend). In her mind, if the Valrayon boys are bastards, they are evil, and her faith backs up that train of thought. It gives her something to cleave to, something that substantiates all the feelings that she can’t make sense of but that feel awful. And while all of this is happening, she has Otto whispering “oh, Rhaenyra will certainly kill your sons should she come to the throne.” 

Now, again, Alicent loses me here. Because Rhaenyra has never indicated that she would do that (or allow that, for those of you who want to say ‘Oh well Daemon…’ or ‘Oh well Corlys…’). Alicent has seen that, where her father is concerned, that she is “simply a piece to move about the board,” that he never had her best interest, or her children’s at heart, and still she chooses to believe that? So is it just weak writing, or is Alicent weak in this instance? And where does that piety stand when she is covering up the fact that her son raped a maid? She doesn’t hold Aegon responsible for the action, only for how it would reflect on the family. She is so quick to blame the Velaryon boys for the pig incident, when, on screen, it is very obvious to see that it was Aegon’s idea and he roped an eleven and a four year old into it. Even Viserys sees it. And when it’s brought to Rhaenyra’s attention, Rhaenyra extends the offer of a dragon egg to Aemond, as well as a betrothal between Jace and Helaena (jacelaena, my beloveds). Alicent, however, only tells Aegon that he can “cuff his brother about at home as he wishes” but that outside of their home, they must present a united front. I will say that I do believe that Alicent is doing everything she can to keep her family together, to keep them safe. She has never not been isolated. She is not a dragon, she is not a Targaryen, she holds absolutely no power. Do I think she did the right things? No. But I also don't think everything she did came from a hateful or evil place. No one taught this woman how to be a mother, no one taught her how to love her children without hurting them (metaphorically. She can catch these hands for the physical abuse she commits against Aegon. There is never an excuse for putting your hands on children).

Then we have Driftmark, an all around unfortunate situation. A dragon cannot be stolen, so I’m not even going to touch on that. But children who should have been in bed, watched by guards, weren’t, and the ensuing fight happened. Aemond lost an eye, everyone is corralled into the great hall and Jace tells Rhaenyra “he called us bastards.” I don’t think enough people understand the concept that bastardry in this instance can get you killed. Rhaenyra, the boys, Harwin, if he wasn’t already dead, could have lost their lives; it wasn’t just the crown or the throne at risk. And these are the words that Alicent is teaching her sons to use in regard to Rhaenyra and the Velaryon boys. Should the name calling have been the main focus of this? Absolutely not, a child had his eye cut out. Was it on purpose? No. Should it have been addressed? Yes, and Viserys fucking dropped the ball there, just the same way he had done for the entirety of his reign. But calling Jace and Luke bastards could cost them their lives. And I don’t think that twelve year old Aemond gets this. He doesn’t have that total understanding of it. But Alicent does. And she has been speaking these words, more loudly than she should, for over a decade at this point. 

Aemond doesn't understand what he's saying in this moment, but every adult in that room does because of how bastardry is looked at within the realm. And not just for the treason of it, but because every woman in the realm worries about her husbands bastards usurping her children on claim (look at Cat Stark and Jon Snow). There’s no denying that Rhaeynra put her sons in a dangerous position (we can talk about her rights and wrongs in another post if anyone wants to). Alicent is not the only one who sees it, but right now she's the loudest, and that's where the possible hope to get someone else to talk about it would come in. Would it have just been easier had someone other than Alicent’s inner circle bought into the bastard rumors and forced the issue? Yeah. And to a certain degree, I think that's what she wanted.

So tldr Alicent drives me fucking crazy, in both good and bad ways. I think the time skip did her and Rhaenyra, both as individuals and together, a huge disservice, and we somehow ended up with whatever the fuck happened in episode 9 where all of a sudden Alicent was back to being team “we gotta save Rhaenyra.”

[ahmedmootaz]

Hello Ahmed! This time, instead of questions about the cast, I want to ask questions about you. What's your favorite fic for LobCorp/ruina/limbus? Imo yours (TMFOA/AiP) are my favorite simply because of the depth that you go into and the characterization the cast being in point. Second, how far would you say you are from your next chapter, and do you plan on implementing a segmented release like how you did chapters 26/27? Lastly (cast related fic), since you're technically God in your fics, how would the cast react to your existence (Assuming they don't know that they're fictional, only that you made their world. We don't need any existential crisis on top of the mountains of angst!!)

Dear hncdhnmfr,

Oh, questions for me, personally? You flatter me too much, but hey, who am I to complain about it? Also, hey, would you look at that! I'm actually responding to an ask before 24 hours have passed since it was published, what has the world come to?!

On a more serious note, I feel you certainly deserve a quicker response considering the ludicrous wait you had to go through last time, so apologies again for that.

So for you questions...Ironically enough, for as much as I write about it, I don't read too many PMverse 'Fics, mostly because I can't find Ayin 'Fics that have a focus on his as I want them to, although off the top of my head, Silent Resonance by KABN (https://archiveofourown.org/works/31268576/chapters/77295107) and A_Random_Reading_Person's LC works (https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Random_Reading_Person/pseuds/A_Random_Reading_Person/works?fandom_id=14487746) have always scratched my itch when it comes to Eyucar content and even Roland-centric stories. They're not bloated messes like my 'Fics, they have lots of monologues and character introspectives, and frankly speaking, they're a lot fluffier than my works. Who can say no to some PM fluffiness at last without having to suffer a whole ton of angst to get to it?

As for how far I am from the next AiP Chapter...that's an answer I wish I had covered. I'm writing more and more of Epilogue II every day, but honestly...it doesn't end. It keeps going on, and on, and on...although I have hopes I can finish it relatively soon, I also had plans to release it in August of 2023, soooooo...take from that what you will. What I will say is to keep your eyes peeled for April or May, or so I hope.

Also, yes, it's definitely going to need to be split into two parts, believe me. Even if I don't want to, the Archive editor can't post a Chapter that's longer than 500K characters...

As for that last question...I don't think of myself that way at all, not in the slightest sense. I would say I am closer to the Narrator when it comes to my role in the plot of AiP; sure, I write some elements, but I just nudge things in the right direction while letting the Narrator explain what, exactly I nudged and in what direction...at least, that's how I would describe it if I were to place myself within the Canon of my PM 'Fics.

So how would the cast react finding out I exist...honestly? They'd probably laugh it off or think I'm just another power-tripping lunatic from the City, although once they realise what I'm truly capable of, maybe they'll be resentful I didn't just write "Oh also Carmen suddenly unDistorted" or did something to aid them on their journey, which is frankly a good question. An answer of "well, you were never in any real danger, and lots of people love reading about you since you're celebrities" will sound more unhinged than I would intend to come off across, but with the correct wording and explanations, I'm certain that we can have an amicable relationship of sorts. Although Ayin and Yesod would definitely begin to worry if every action they partake in has been nudged by me or whether it's whatever free-will they have acting.

Overall, considering the nature of the City, it's not far-fetched to say they can get used to it...the question is just what, exactly, they'll go through before getting used to it. Hatred? Confusion? Indifference? All are possible options considering how wide the range of our dear cast is, although I'm almost certain the primary reaction will be anger for all of the angst I've pushed them towards for our sick pleasure, but then again, maybe I can argue my way out of that one by saying that in the end, the events I pushed them towards led to better results in the end, no? It's quite the fun thought exercise!

What do you think, hncdhnmfr? Surely you have your own opinion, hmmmmm? Regardless, and as always, thank you for your fun ask! I always look forward to them, and I hope this one makes up for last time's delay. Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'!

[sapphic-suchoripterus]

might be some controversial takes about Hazbin/Helluva under the cut but honestly I really don't know what the popular consensus is about any of it. I'm gonna try to keep these short but here's a list of thoughts I have so far.

-I'm interested in where Hazbin could go. The concept of rehabilitation for sinners and how the meaning of rehabilitation could change, as well as the unbalanced power of heaven vs. hell and who are the true sinners is very interesting.

-I don't find myself laughing at the humor of any of these shows. It feels like the kind of humor that's only supposed to shock you with the vulgarity. Which is only really funny to a teenager, not the intended adult audience.

-the music is hit or miss, mostly miss. The Hazbin pilot songs I particularly did not enjoy.

-the animation and design are nice, tho I'm not really sure who to credit with that, as I have been made aware that Vivziepop tends to take "inspiration" from artists in an informal manner.

-really do not like the sound design. The noises are obnoxious, the volumes are all over the place and there have been times where I cannot hear what characters are saying.

-voice acting is pretty good. I understand that fans got very upset when a lot of the actors for Hazbin had to be recast with union members and tbh I'm not bothered by that. Support unions.

-im worried about what they're gonna do with Vaggie. She's starting out as the partner to the main character but she's also been established as the "PC" character who annoys the fan favorites Angel Dust and Alastor.

-I'm not at all interested in Alastor, he looks like a satire of the Vivziepop style.

-Angel Dust is interesting, and I'm not too bothered by seeing an openly and overtly queer character, even if it's not sanitized. I am a little concerned about how quickly his character depth was revealed long before the first season is even finished. Could Viv really not wait to talk about Angel Dust that much? What will be left to explore in the show?

-also like, we are getting a LOT of content for Hazbin including a spinoff already on its second season, tons of merch and lots of droplets of information that end up on the wiki BEFORE the first season of the show is even out and it doesn't feel right, like the crew is celebrating the success of the show before its even out. Weird stuff. Not sure if it's gonna bite them in the ass yet.

-the Helluva pilot was not enjoyable at all and I didn't actually start watching the show until the second season

(here comes the big one)

-I actually don't mind too much what's being done with Stolas. It makes sense that a person with very few friends and trapped in an arranged marriage with a cruel partner would make the decisions that he has, regardless of whether or not they are the right ones.

-What I am concerned with is if the story with Stolas was planned from the beginning, or if it was decided later on to recontextualize his character when they crew decided they liked Stolas more than as just a cutaway gag in the pilot.

-Moxxie and Millie are... okay. On one hand it's nice to see throughout everything Moxxie has been through, as well as literally being in Hell, he still retains his kindness, empathy and love for his wife. Millie is... okay, but I get the feeling that she exists to keep Moxxie from becoming the series punching bag, like as compensation. Or a way to inject some "wholesomeness" into our main characters. I keep hearing that a Millie episode is on the way, but I don't know what really to expect.

-as a furry/scalie who isn't into canine anthros, I'm not into Loona.

-I'm interested in seeing more of what the other rings of Hell look like, tho I fear that the Gluttony ring is going to be filled with fatphobic jokes.

-The action scenes are usually pretty cool, tho with the Vivziepop style it can be a bit eye-strain-y for me.

-vivziepop stans are scary. seeing them jump to her defense whenever she faces a major criticism is frustrating and it only incites a bigger wave of criticism. see this post if you want my extended thoughts about it.

-this series is being produced, written and released in a way I don't think I've ever seen so I'm gonna try to keep an open mind about it, but that does not mean I'm gonna enjoy it blindly NOR am I gonna nitpick it. I'm gonna keep up with it and maybe share more of my thoughts, tagged accordingly and under 'read more' lines.

[beevean]

Honestly? They should've just kept Lenore as a scummy rapist with no redeeming qualities who Hector gets to have revenge against

Not that there isn't any potential in a hypothetical Co dependent toxic relationship, but I think that by Season 3 the show had made it very clear that it did not know the meaning of the word nuance, so at that point you might as well go for the "victim gets revenge on abuser" angle, because for as cliché and safe as it is it still would have been better than what we got

Of course that didn't stop the show from joking about Alucard's little experience with Sumi and Taka, but y'know lesser of two evils

Well, I suppose you can take my rants as what I'd personally write, because I am fully aware the show isn't deep enough to tackle such topics, as much as it pretends to :P

I like Lenore's "redeeming qualities", because they don't redeem her at all. They are there to make her a distinct character from Carmilla, who is a completely flat cartoonish villain - and Lenore in S3 is little more than Carmilla in a cosplay wig and BDSM getup. I don't mind traits like her feelings of inadequacy, because the show uses her to woobify her, but they can also explain her villainy, like the fan theory that she spoke about Hector in a dehumanizing way because she felt looked down on and so put on a façade of a tough vampire to be taken seriously. They give her depth and could have made for an unique villain.

The tone is the issue. And Hector is the issue, obviously. I am so utterly baffled that his big "redemption" from how spineless and submissive he was in the previous season entails... him letting Isaac do the hard work and giving up very easily on his own plan of resurrecting Dracula, and happily clinging onto a woman who doesn't fully respect him without a single hint he feels bad about what was done to him. So he's still spineless and submissive. Bruh. This is active spite down to the last episode.

And you know the clincher? Everything I say, I say it because I'm taking time analyzing the text, reading the expressions, placing scenes together. Since when NFCV expects you do to so?! When it comes to Isaac, the dialogue tells us no less than three times that he has changed. NFCV is not subtle! NFCV treats its viewers like idiots! This is the same show that has characters talk about stuff they in no way should know, for the sake of exposition! So when I'm here scratching my head at understanding Lenore's motivations for her suicide or Hector's feelings, it's because the story, quite simply, didn't care.

Isaac's story was one of growing past your desire for revenge and learning how to forgive and move on. He tells us. With a long epic speech. Hector's story is about nothing. Shippers interpret it as "taking the high road and coming to a mutual understanding". I take it as "forgive your abuser if they're nice enough and be grateful for the scraps". But I can assure you that we are all putting much more thought than Ellis and his crew did. Hector's story is an abortion: proof of this is the fact that, at the end of the day, he ends his story exactly where he started.

I am wasting time trying to reconcile the intended themes with the basics of a good story, but yes, when you put it that way, Hector might as well have blasted Abandoned Castle and gone haywire.