#honestly he himself is pushing the boundaries of MY understanding of postcolonial theory so I'm curious what's going to become of him

[luncheon-aspic]

I feel so fukking stupid.

The kid I'm mentoring asked for my Traumatic Backstory and I decided to tell him (to prepare him for the reality of elite US universities and out of my own sense of self-centeredness). I get to what was basically the end and he asks what the certain professor's name was and what he's doing now after being fired and I said that I'm not saying and I hope he's meditating in a cave and reaching nirvana after realizing the wrongness of his ways. He's like "I want to look him up!" I had to tell him in a dangerous and dead serious voice that I do. Not. Want. To. Know. I will literally tell our supervisor and have you banned from the historic site if you do so and I am NOT playing. His parents were there in the car and telling him to leave it as well, but... Well... He's an autistic teenage boy who doesn't even realize that other people do not want the same things as him and that he needs to respect those boundaries. So it's partially on me as the adult that I didn't withhold certain information, knowing that he's not mature enough to respect that some stories are only for listening, not for ~investigation~, no matter how much YOU want to or think you're doing a good deed.

One of the recurring themes of the day had been the question of why a government would respect the sovereignty of an "uncontacted tribe" despite having superior technology and legal right to their land and bodies (as citizens). He could recognize (to his anguish) that all his arguments for why forcible integration would actually be a good thing were right out of the imperial/colonial playbook, but it just SEEMED so right that "we" should do it. (I also asked him to reflect on the "we" here -- his own positionality is EXTREMELY weird in this argument in ways that I'm not going to explain because it's country-specific and I ain't doxxing myself. I've been introducing him to Babby's First Postcolonial Theory because boy oh boy do I see an identity crisis in his future when he goes to "the metropole".)

I should have connected the dots and been less forthcoming with things that could affect my own wellbeing with the same "good intentions". This may end up being a learning experience for both of us. -_-