#honestly haven’t had as much motivation for full pieces

[addamii]

Practicing shape language and stylization with these three :)

[ripeteeth]

Self-rec time! What are your favorite five fics that you've written and why? After replying to this ask, feel free to pass on to five other writers to spread the love. 💗"

Thanks, @danpuff-ao3! You’re always a treat to see on the dash and I hope you’ve been having a lovely break <3.

I’m always a bit awkward with these, both from an itching sort of discomfort with staring my own artwork in the face, and I think from a lifetime habit of denying compliments out of a feeling of guilt or fear. So! I’ve had a glass of wine (and an edible) and I’m going to try to kinder to myself. I might be in the mood to talk right now. (Honestly, that’s a good sign. One of the big elements of my recent writer’s block has been an inability to express myself in any written way, even tumblr posts and comments. Maybe this is why I hit twitter so hard.)

My five favorite fics. Not my five best fics. Not my five most popular fics. My favorites. Hmm.

5. blood, bones, and butter | MDZS/The Untamed] SongXueXiao | E, 12,443

“A relationship, deconstructed. Served three ways.”

Ah, Yi City, that deliciously painful Shakespearean tragedy echoing Wangxian’s romance. The specific notes of obsession, revenge, love, and grief that run through these three make me completely unhinged. I love the quiet service and stoic devotion of Song Lan, the otherworldliness and power of Xiao Xingchen, the unchecked brilliance and cruelty that fill up Xue Yang. The Yi City fandom is easily one of the most incredible fandoms I’ve ever been a part of, full of uniquely talented and deranged writers and artists who love to really explore the dark edges and nitty-gritty of these character and let them be their fucked-up selves. The appeal of SongXueXiao isn’t to make it better for them, it’s to see how much you can make it worse.

It’s two pretty classic tropes: a first time after meeting at a bar, and also a story told from alternating POVs. I really wanted to focus on trying to carve out distinctive interiorities, like their motivations, their assumptions, their fears, their memories, and allow the reader to draw their own conclusions without spelling these all out outright. I’d recently rewatched Rashomon, and I love how the understanding of an event can be so differently shaped by each person’s POV and I wanted to show their first night together in that way, moving the lens over the night a few times, before it gets clear. It was a really fun process to focus on and I think it’s one of my best pieces of recent writing.

4. in search of the wind | Good Omens | Crowley/Aziraphale | E, 27,112

After the World Doesn't End, Aziraphale is not returned to his body. Crowley tries to find a way to get to Heaven's fast-shut gates. Aziraphale tries to find his way back from the sky (and back in time).

I remember writing this almost immediately after the show aired, in that heady summer of 2019, when I feel head over sweaty heels for that charming demon and his delicious epicure of an angel. This is essentially how I saw canon going on, this is the headcanon of my soul. Maybe that’s why I haven’t seen season 2 yet? It was a pleasure to write, almost like knitting together different scenes, different pieces of history, like an extended version of the s1s3 cold open. It’s Aziraphale without a body, unmoored in time, turning up at different points along his and Crowley’s history, and realizing that his friend is in love with him. That his friend is heartrendingly in love with him. I love stories that play with structure, striking different chords each time.

I couldn’t write this kind of story again. This belongs to a very specific time.

3. White Light, White Heat | Harry Potter | Snape/Harry | E, 32,107

“In 1347, Benedictine monk and scholar Severus Snape goes to fetch a young man joining the abbey. In 1347, rumors come of a strange and unrelenting plague from the east.”

An AU set in a fourteenth-century Benedictine monastery in Britain during the period of the Black Death where the two men develop a bond through a special sort of crucible. Snape, as always, falls in love with all the grace of a cat being given a bath. As dark as the material is, this was a pleasure to write. I had so much fun describing the setting, peppering fun little facts like a Pop Up Video of Medieval History. I wrote this in a fever-fueled three weeks, absolutely obsessed with getting it down exactly as it was in my head. I loved writing the monster theme and using it as almost a leitmotif for Snape. There’s probably a literary term for that. Is there? Anyway.

2. the body as anagram | The Terror | Crozier/Fitzjames, Crozier/Ross] | E, 3090

“In the dark, it doesn't matter which James is in his bed. As long as Ross doesn't speak, the illusion holds true.”

I took the title from a passage on J.G. Ballard’s Crash by Baudrillard in Simulacra and Simulation: “Technology is never grasped except in the (automobile) accident, that is to say in the violence done to technology itself and in the violence done to the body. It is the same: any shock, any blow, any impact, all the metallurgy of the accident can be read in the semiurgy of the body — neither an anatomy nor a physiology, but a semiurgy of contusions, scars, mutilations, wounds that are so many new sexual organs opened on the body. In this way, gathering the body as labor in the order of production is opposed to the dispersion of the body as anagram in the order of mutilation.”

There’s something a bit haunting about the parallels of the two men who held the intimacy of Francis Crozier’s friendship. The name. The confidence. The bravery. The charming manner and handsome face. I love the idea of a Francis who sails out pining for one man and returns home loving another, switching between true love and placeholder. And I’m notoriously a slut for both proxyfucking and Gremlin!Francis, who just can’t stop pressing on the wound of his grief. It’s not the drink but it may as well be, for all this is good for either he or Ross, but Francis is a fool in love with a dead man and he does what he does to get by.

Something about this came together, from concept to finish, in a way I’m quite happy with. It was fun to play with concepts and free associate from them, focusing less on plot, but more on the vast empty grief in Francis’ chest. Everyone here knows this is a bad idea. No one is having a good time.

1. Revachol Calling | Disco Elysium | Karry/Kim | E, 35,321 [WIP]

“Somewhere in Jamrock, a church burns. A study in Kim Kitsuragi.”

Sometimes you just feel the next part of the story in your bones. When I first played Disco Elysium in 2021 it hit me in an incredibly familiar, emotional way. There’s something somber and hopeful about it. The writing is sardonic, dark and humorous. It’s nearly cynical but it’s cynical with a sad old smile, because cynicism is born through disappointment, and through not quite being ready to give up. I think we can all find ourselves in it, in one way or another and, like many, I’m hopelessly in love with Kim Kitsuragi, a wild creature who’s built himself within thousands of rules. I can’t play the game without craving his side of the story, his interiority, his history, so I grab at the little crystals of information, such as his secret love of Speedfreaks FM and his past with Eyes, and I try to imagine it might go. This is my sequel to the game and, more than anything, this is my love song to Revachol, a character of a city, and one that echoes vastly in all those of post-Communist country and family.

For some reason, this fic is extremely visual for me and usually in a Wong Kar-Wai sort of fashion. Think the saturated aquamarines of a neon diner sign. Think a studio apartment with cheap wallpaper and the yellow-orange flicker of sodium lights. It comes alive at night, when Kim is left alone with his thoughts, running out of rules to keep him safely in. I love that Disco Elysium has such a vast world to explore. It’s an endless playbox.

And this is also, in a way, a bit of an elegy to a belief I’d once held in a motherland, and do not anymore.

I’m almost done with Chapter 8, so hopefully it will be up soon <3

Tagging! @jaggededges123 @soft-october-night @wildcard47 @rcmclachlan @brawlite @zaxal @pearwaldorf @kiingbooooo @darcylindbergh @et-in-arkadia @itsevidentvery @iodhadh @iamwestiec @mia-ugly @laurashapiro-noreally @pinehutch and anyone else who wishes to!

[ateezivy]

without you

( 2023 )

warning ! mentions of eating disorder, lots of crying, all i can think of, lmk if i missed anything.

Tour without Ivy has been weird. There is a missing piece in the puzzle. And while all the boys have been having fun on tour, it’s still not the same. And it’s evident to people everywhere. However, tonight’s the night. They get their girl back.

She called them a few weeks ago with the news that she would be in the audience in Berlin, and then she would join them again on tour. They screamed at this news. like actually screamed. But honestly, who wouldn’t, Ateez is going to be a full nine again. The boys got all hyped on the way to the arena. Jumping around, singing, yelling, a lot of yelling. Soon, they were all backstage chilling while the staff set everything up before rehearsal. 

“Boys,” their manager calls for them. They all look up and see him standing there staring at them. He didn’t say anything, earning a confused look from Hongjoong. They all watch as he walks over to the door and opens it. And in walks Ivy. 

Mingi was of course the first to jump off the couch and run over to her, hugging her tightly, and kissing her softly. The boys all piled over to her, suffocating her in a group hug. 

“Make sure to let her breathe,” the manager said before walking out laughing. 

“Okay, he’s right, let me breathe” she giggled as all the boys backed away, taking a look at her. She was planning on getting ready in the dressing room before she had to go out into the crowd, not wanting to be in her planned outfit longer than she had to. So she had on a pair of mom jeans and one of Mingi’s many tour hoodies. She looked so much healthier and happier. You can only see some much on a FaceTime call. She also cut her hair short with some bangs, that one they haven’t seen. 

“You cut your hair!” Wooyoung pointed out

“Yeah! You like it?” She asked, messing with the ends of her hair

“Love it” Hongjoong smiled. 

Everyone sat down, Mingi has not let go of her since she walked in, he needs to make sure she was there. “So, how was your hiatus?” Jongho asked, watching her sigh a snuggle closer to her boyfriend

“Hell,” she commented “There was nothing to do, I had too much free time. And you know they didn’t even let me drive for the first few weeks?” She scoffed. 

“Yeah, they wanted you to have that time to yourself Livvy, that’s what it’s for” Seonghwa chuckled and ruffled her hair. 

“Don’t care, torture” 

“How dare they make sure you’re safe,” Hongjoong said sarcastically 

“See you get it” Ivy joked along and walked around the room looking for something. 

“What’re you looking for?” Mingi asked, getting up to help her 

“Something to eat” The boys all smiled, it was clear that the hiatus helped. Of course, she’s been through this before, she understood the steps to get through it, and because she was away from her family, and her life, she was more motivated to get better.

“How long did it take?” Yunho asked her. She knew what he meant. How long did it take her to eat a full meal without throwing it up? 

“Not too long, just have to eat foods I’m comfortable with for right now, My therapist told me to eat a new fear food once a week, so I ate a burger yesterday,” She said “I feel like the only thing I can eat without wanting to vomit is salad, fruit, and that’s like it.” 

It’s sad, her once favorite foods have become the foods she fears. She may be back from hiatus, but she is still forever healing. 

“Sorry to interrupt,” one of the stylists came in, smiling when she saw Ivy, “But you guys have to get ready for soundcheck, Ivy, honey, you’re always welcome to join” 

Ivy jumped up and ran over to the stylist, hugging her and filling her in on everything she did and didn’t do over break. The boys all laughed as they followed the girls. They put their earpieces in and get their mics, Ivy looks over and sees her purple mic untouched next to Jongho’s before he picks it up. 

“You wanna come out?” He asked, pointing to her microphone, he hopes she says yes. “There’s Atiny out there, but it’s not a lot” 

“Sure” She smiles and has Mingi help her with her earpieces quickly as she picks her mic up. Mingi slips the mic pack into her back pocket, giving her butt a tap, which would be more surprising if he didn’t do that. He then feeds the attached ear-pieces through her hoodie, letting her catch them from over her shoulders, she lets them dangle there as she turns her mic on. 

“Okay, c’mon.” their manager smiles. The boys rush up to the stage, Mingi holds his girlfriend's waist from behind as he kisses her on the cheek before they follow behind the others. As she went out behind the others, the VIP’s immediately recognized her and started greeting her. She assumed Hongjoong asked them to stay calm, or Atiny was just that brilliant to stay calm in that moment. She felt fairly anxious singing in front of fans again, the last time she did she sounded horrible and then fainted.

“Don’t dance with us, you haven’t stretched and I’m not letting you when you just ate” Hongjoong said sternly, giving her a stool that was set on stage for her. While she was gone, Wooyoung normally took her lines, and she’s excited to hear him sing her lines tonight too. But right now, her lines are hers again. Some staff set some water beside her as the music started. As her lines in New World came up, she felt nerves and excitement build up in her chest. As soon as she started singing, the boys all smiled so brightly while dancing, the VIP fans cheered her on, singing along, and the fans outside started screaming loud enough for her to hear. She chuckled out of disbelief through her lines. After New World, Hongjoong and Seonghwa ran off stage quickly. “What’re they doing?” She asked San who grabbed himself water. The sweat from his forehead dripped onto the stage floor as he looked at her. He shrugged, but it was obvious he knew. 

“What are you guys up to” She giggled as Yeosang and Mingi walk over right as San left. “You’ll see, be patient” Mingi smiled and rubbed her thigh. The stool she sat on was getting uncomfortable, there was no backrest and she just now realized she was slouching. She fixed her posture, showing a face of pain, Yeosang noticed and rubbed her back for a second before she heard a familiar melody play through the speakers. Her song It Will Stop started playing. 

Fans outside started screaming like crazy, and the fans in the arena started freaking out as well. Hongjoong and Seonghwa ran back up on stage, ushering her to sing her lyrics. This song was special to her. It was the first song she wrote for herself. It was the easiest, yet most difficult thing to write. She put all her emotions into the song, knowing that one day, she would relate to it again. 

She sang the song without struggle, her boys watching and singing along with pride. After it ended they all cheered for her. The boys, the fans, the staff, everyone. She felt herself getting shy, smiling with her face hidden in her hands. Yunho jumped over and picked her up over his shoulder, making her squeal and almost drop her mic. Somehow, Mingi and Yunho managed to sit her on both of their shoulders for some pictures. There have been so many pictures and videos taken from this moment. She can’t wait to go home and frame them all.

After a small amount of time, Ivy sat on the edge of the stage to talk to the fans while the boys calmed down. “Hi” she smiled and the Atiny’s greeted her back. “How are you Ivy?” A fan with a deep accent asked. “I’m good how are you guys?” She smiled as a chorus of ‘good’ and ‘great’ was said amongst the small crowd. She felt a hand on her back, making her turn and see Mingi sitting on her left and Wooyoung on her right. They talked to the fans for sometime, avoiding questions of Ivy’s return with simple shrugs and changes of questions.

After soundcheck, they all walked back to the dressing room. Ivy had grabbed her bag full of a change of clothes for the concert from the ‘hangout room’, as they called it. Mingi went in with her, just to have a minute alone. “You sure you don’t want to stay back here and watch?” He asked, hugging her. There was everything she needed in that room, a TV to watch the concert from, a bathroom, food, water, and outlets. Everything. It’s also 10 times safer back here than in the crowd. 

“I’m sure, I got a good spot, the bodyguards will be with me.” There was a spot right behind the pit where staff usually stayed, it was a spot for people to walk through before, after, and during the show. 

“Okay,” he nodded, not arguing with it because he knew she would be in good hands. The two shared a few kisses and giggles before they had to go and get ready. Ivy went into the bathroom to change before everyone else. She walked out wearing a red bodycon dress, a black oversized leather jacket, and some Prada boots. 

“Ah, you look so good!” The stylists all cheered, making the boys all turn and look at her. The dress showed off her figure, she had gotten so much healthier already. 

“This jacket might piss me off three songs in, so if you see me throw this back on, shut your mouth.” She held up the hoodie she was just wearing, making everyone chuckle. 

“You’re so cute” San chuckled and hugged her. 

“How long are you staying back?” Seonghwa questioned

“Right before you guys go on they’re gonna sneak me out” She stated with a smile 

“Good, cause you’re matching the first outfits, it will look good for pictures” Wooyoung clapped.

The time went by, the boys got everything they needed to do done, and finally, they hear the fans piling in and singing as they all got ready. “Ah, handsome” she dramatically sighed and gushed over her boys. They all rolled their eyes as they got ready to take pictures with their girl. The pictures were perfect and so cute, they would more than likely post them that night. 

“Okay, you guys go on here soon, get mic’d up, let's go” Their manager clapped, rushing everyone over to the mics, “I gotta go,” Ivy told them as they put their pic packs back in.

“Just a second Livvy” Hongjoong made her freeze. “Everyone ready?” He looked around, seeing all of them placing their earpieces around their neck. They nod and bundle up in a circle, wrapping their arms around each other as the staff flashes their lights and takes videos. The girl happily dances and jumps next to Mingi and Jongho. “Okay, let’s go out there, perform with our best. We got Ivy with us tonight, so we have to do our absolute best.” Hongjoong goes on with his usual speech and praises “Ivy?”

“Oh, uh, don’t fuck up, I love you guys”

The boys all protested against her ‘speech’ and laughed

“Okay, okay. Just perform like you guys always do, with or without me, I want you guys to do your best, and have so much fun out there.” Mingi smiles and kisses her forehead. 

“Okay, 1,2,3…”

“Nine makes one team!” As a full nine again.

“I love you guys,” she hugged them all individually “I’ll be out there, look for me” 

When she got to Mingi, he wasted no time in giving her a deep kiss, bending himself forward and her into a damn-near backbend. The boys cheered them on as she laughed into the kiss.

She was soon rushed out into the audience, bodyguards circling her, yelling at people to move out of the way. She reached the back of the pit where security and other staff stayed to make sure there were no audience members out of place. 

She smiled and waved at fans who saw her and cheered for her. 

The concert went on amazingly, Ivy sang along with every word. It didn’t take long for Mingi to find her first, after that all the boys would check on her at least 10 times each song. It soon got to that time when the boys all stand there and interact with the fans. 

“And tonight, we have the most special guest” Wooyoung yelled and the crowd screamed. At this point Ivy still didn’t change into her hoodie, the boy assumed she was fairly comfortable in that new jacket. She had her lightstick and phone in hand. The camera panned to her, showing her on the big screen as she laughed and waved at the boys. 

“IVY-AHHHH” San yelled and Yunho clapped with Hongjoong. “She looks amazing doesn’t she Atiny?” 

Ivy continued laughing and covering her face so she didn’t show off her blush. The fans screamed in agreement. “Ivy, I think we all have some things to say,” Hongjoong started “Should I go first? Anyone else wants to go?” 

Yunho and Yeosang shook their heads as the others gestured that he could go first. 

“Since Ivy first came to the company, I knew she was something so special. What I didn’t know were the amazing effects she has had on Ateez.” Atiny cheered after the translator spoke before he continued. “It’s incredible how much you have impacted so many people's life. You make Ateez special Jisoo-ah. And during this hiatus, it’s been hard on us, but we are so glad you took your time to heal. We love you, Ivy, and I think everyone can agree when I say we are glad to have you back home.” 

Ivy was tearing up, mouthing “I love you” to Hongjoong. 

Wooyoung nodded and brought his mic to his lip. Oh god, she thought to herself, this could either embarrass the living fuck out of her or make her bawl her eyes out. “I’m not sure if many people know, but Ivy and I used to not get along,” Ivy laughed at his start off “But now I would say we are the closest we have ever been. Through the years, I’ve got to learn so much about you. I know when you’re upset, happy, or mad. I’ve had the pleasure to watch how much you’ve grown over the years. And I just know how proud your family is of you. And I know you’re dad would be so beyond proud” Oh god, she’s crying. She misses her daddy, so dearly. She hopes he’s proud of her. “I wish you came to me. Or any of us when you were struggling,” now Wooyoung was crying “I love you Jisoo-ah, and I would do anything to see you happy and healthy all the time…” They both bawled as Yunho walked over to Wooyoung, hugging him. Mingi turned away from the crowd as he cried, Jongho tearing up in the corner. The fans all cried and called out. 

Seonghwa sniffed before he spoke up, “Being able to be someone you feel safe around has been such an honor. My number one goal is to always make sure my members are safe and happy, and sometimes, I feel like I fail at that. I know there’s only so much I can do Ivy, I know. Please call me more, please tell me when you need help. Come to me more often. I want to help Olivia. Please let me help” Seonghwa sobbed, begging. Ivy wanted nothing more than to run up on stage and hold every single one of them. 

Yeosang prepared himself for whatever words came out of his mouth when he spoke “I didn’t know you were hurting until it was too late. And, I can’t help but feel I could’ve done more for you. I can’t lose you Ivy-ah, none of us can. We love you, and it hurts going on stage and not having you here. I’m begging you to focus on yourself more.”

Between each speech was a moment of cries. Each member would take their time to prepare themselves, make sure they can say what they need. And a couple times they couldn’t. their speeches would fall short because they can’t say what they need to say like this.

San was next “Atiny and Ateez have been waiting for you, we will always wait for you. You always have support by your side at all times Livvy. We’ve been hoping that you recover well and on your own time, and your being here tonight shows us how well you have been doing. And now you’re home, and we can help you. And be up your butt 24/7” He ends his speech with a slight giggling, hoping to bring light to such an emotional moment. Ivy chuckled through her tears and shook her head. 

“Well, I don’t know about you, Ivy, but I had trouble sleeping last night because I was so excited to see you again. And I think I even texted you” Yunho laughed, tears streaming down “You’ve always supported us when we need you, you’ve always been here for us. You’re probably the most kind and most empathetic person any of us have ever met Jisoo-ah. And even in times when I didn’t think I needed support, you were still there, whether I wanted it or not, you were there. You’ve always been there. And I just can’t believe I let you struggle for so long. Ivy, you deserve everything good in the world. I wish I could just give you the earth” He smiles with the tears falling down his shirt. Jongho nodded to himself, knowing he had to go next. He didn’t have to, but he wanted to and needed to for himself and Ivy. 

“When I first met everyone I kind of felt like the odd one in the group. And then you came in and you had to feel like the odd one,” The crowd laughs along with Ivy as he continued “but I never really knew what it was like to be so close to someone. And ever since you joined our family, I never felt alone. I never felt like I didn’t fit in. You always made sure I got to bond with everyone, and that we made the steps we needed to take to be able to become a family. And now, I look at all of us, and, I can’t even imagine Ateez without Ivy. Ateez wouldn’t be Ateez without any of us, especially you.”

Jongho wasn’t the kind of guy to open up like this, and Ivy never knew these things, she never knew Jongho felt this way…

And finally, Mingi. Ivy couldn’t even prepare herself for Mingi’s speech… her chest tightened, and tears fell as she watched her boyfriend wipe his tears away. 

“Without you, I don’t think I would be the person I am now. Without you, Ateez wouldn’t be Ateez. I’ve always wanted to just feel loved and cared about. And being with you, it’s taught me so much about myself. I just- I can’t believe how far all of us have gone. I can’t believe this is my life. And it’s thanks to you Jisoo-ah. Watching you grow and become the woman you are, it’s incredible. And I always think about all the times we’ve stayed up later writing songs, or just talking because we couldn’t sleep. Our Facetime calls, our late night snack time. All of it is so special to me. I love you so much, Olivia. I’m nothing without you.” 

They all cried and hugged, wishing they could have Ivy up there, but they had to move on before things got caught up. The concert went on and ended after a few more songs. She would’ve loved to stay in the audience for the encore, but she had to run backstage before then so she didn’t get lost in a moving crowd. She ran through the halls once the manager told her they were out there, Mingi was of course the first she reached. He lifted her as she wrapped her legs around his. She cried into his shoulder, mumbling ‘I love you’s into his shirt. Mingi continued walking with her like that, rubbing her back before placing her on the ground once reaching the dressing room. The other boys all got to hug her and cry with her at last. 

She’s home. And they weren’t a complete home without her.

taglist: @atolua @skzfairies @itzy-eve @cixrosie @stopeatread @alixnsuperstxr @smh-anon @txt-yaomi @starmaniic

[annalu86]

Motivation

Tim could hear the key in the doorway, Lucy would be walking through the door to her apartment any second and would immediately see all his hard work and he was, honestly, super excited.

He had spent his entire day off running round the city picking up bits and pieces, he’d even been to a stationery store to print and laminate things.

And it was time to see if all his hard work would pay off.

On the kitchen island Tim had placed 2 large boxes and a large glass jar. One box was label ‘Taste’, the other ‘Have’ and the jar was labelled ‘Time’. The boxes were full of a variety of parcels, wrapped as neatly as Tim was capable and the jar was full of brightly coloured, miniature envelopes.

Tim stood proudly behind them, nervously shifting his weight from foot to foot as he waited for his girlfriend to push open the door.

She stopped instantly, not even halfway through the door, as she spotted him and his unusual set up.

“Hey” Lucy said slowly popping her keys on the little table next to the door “you ok there Babe?”

“I’ve got a surprise for you!” The nervous excitement bursting out of him, coming out from behind the counter and taking her hands.

“I see that!” Lucy’s smile brightened instantly to match his. Tim gets Lucy to sit on a stool facing his surprise.

“So, you remember we talked about me helping you study? For the detectives exam” Lucy nodded, eyes not leaving the boxes and jar in front of her. “Well you both know I wouldn’t be much help with the actual studying” Lucy opened her mouth to protest but Tim silenced her, holding his hand up “it’s ok, but I thought there would be something I would be good at.” He paused, for dramatic effect.

“Go on” impatience pouring out of her as she reached her finger tips towards one of the boxes, clearly intrigued.

“During my time as your TO” Lucy’s face shot round to look at him, an appalled expression on her face and tim couldn’t help but laugh “during my time as your TO I became very good at motivating you to do your best”

“Through fear and humiliation!” Lucy wailed and Tim couldn’t help feeling a little smug

“No. Well maybe, sometimes” he conceded “but it worked didn’t it”

“Hmmmm”

“Well I’m not your TO anymore. I’m your boyfriend so I thought maybe I could try some more Lucy friendly methods of motivation” he finished with a flourish, indicating to the items in front of them.

“Babe” Lucy signed, she stood up and raised herself onto her tiptoes. Her hands slid up his chest and round his neck as she pulled him the final few inches into a slow and tender kiss. “This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me”

“You haven’t seen what’s in them yet!” He joked earning himself a smack on the shoulder for ruining the moment.

“Well? What’s in them!” She let him go and started pulling one of the boxes towards her.

“Hold on, hold on!” He said placing a hand on each of her shoulders and lowing her back on to the stool “so first I thought ‘what motivates Lucy’ and that wasn’t hard. Food” he placed the ‘taste’ box so the label was facing her, followed by the ‘have’ box “‘cute things’ and last but probably most obviously ‘attention’” he said bringing the jar to the front.

At the last one Lucy laughed and swatted at his arm again “I’m not attention seeking!”

“I don’t mean like that” and he leaned forward to take the jar, kissing her forehead as he moved passed her quickly. He opened the jar and took out one a bright green envelope, opening it and pulling out a little laminated card. After reading it himself he turned it to face Lucy.

‘20 minute foot rub’

It said in bold letters across the middle. Underneath in much smaller letters:

(You can tell me all about the true crime podcast you’re listening to)

Tim was busying himself with sliding the little card back into the envelope and popping it back in the jar so he was slightly taken a back when Lucy launched herself at him, flinging her arms around his neck and burying her damp eyes into the side of his face.

“I figure you can choose something from one of the boxes or jar for every hour of studying you get done but that’s up to you. Some of the food for the ‘taste’ box is in the refrigerator so it doesn’t go bad” he wasn’t sure she was really listening as he wrapped his arms around her waist and then placed a series of kisses up her neck.

“This is just so thoughtful” she pulled away to look him in the eye “it must have taken you all day”

“Probably not as long as reading that book!” Tim laughed “so do you want to earn that first one now?”

Tim came home from work the following evening to Lucy sitting at the kitchen island, the same place she been when he left her that morning. He grinned as he took in all the little gifts and envelopes that surrounded the work station she had set up.

The last few bites of her favourite candy bar, a new picture frame that perfectly matched the colour of her sofa, a zesty smelling candle in a beautiful glass jar. The stack of 5 or 6 laminated cards made his stomach flutter, she had picked those over the more immediate rewards far more often. Picked time with him.

“Right” he said, rubbing his hands together, a huge smile on his face. “Let’s make a start on those cards!”

[thestrangeillusion]

a get to know you better meme

Ahhh this took me more than a month to get around to doing, but I didn’t forget about it!! Thank you so much for tagging me @dummerjan! <3 <3 <3

do you make your bed? No, I don’t really see the point tbh, I’ll only be messing it up in the evening again anyway.

what's your favourite number? Umm, 7 I think? There’s not a particular reason for it though. I do have a soft spot for 21 as well for entirely SKAM related reasons haha.

what is your job? I do scientific evaluations of (primarily) government programmes.  

If you could go back to school would you? Hmm, there’s some appeal to that because I didn’t hate school and the structure and routine of it was mostly good for me, I think. But the thought of being a teenager again and being cooped up in a room with 25+ other teenagers for a minimum of 30 hours a week – no, thank you. But if school is meant in the way US-Americans sometimes use it, as in also meaning further education, then I could be convinced. I mean, I still have to write my master’s thesis, so I’m technically still a student, but I sometimes think re-doing my first couple of years of undergrad (and maybe making some better decisions lol) could be fun.

can you parallel park? Nope, I can’t even really drive anymore, I’m pretty sure, even though I do have a licence. It’s more of a glorified ID at this point because I haven’t actually driven a car in like 4 years or so and even before that I honestly wasn’t very good at it (driving or parking).

a job you had that would surprise people? Not really tbh.

do you think aliens are real? I mean I am pretty sure there are forms of life on other planets, since some of them have been found to have inhabitable environments. If it’s intelligent life I don’t really feel qualified to say although, if I remember correctly, one of my good friends who’s doing a PhD in astrophysics and is one of the smartest people I know once made a pretty convincing argument for it (but I have since forgotten what the argument was lol).

can you drive a manual car? Refer to the question about parallel parking above. I learned to drive in a manual car (I’ve actually never driven an automatic), but I’m fairly sure I don’t actually know how to do it anymore.

what's your guilty pleasure? That’s a difficult question. Reading fucked up smut fics is definitely one of them, I guess. Also does pissing away many of my weekends by staying in bed all day and reading or writing fanfics instead of putting effort into having a social life count? Because I also do that and I do enjoy it, but it’s painful whenever anyone asks what I did on the weekend lol. There’s only so many times you can say “Nothing much” tbh.

tattoos? I like them on other people, mostly. My cousin has a full back tattoo in colour and is slowly adding onto it so that it expands to her arms and sides and I always love seeing which new piece she’s gotten tattooed since I last saw her. It just suits her really well and she’s super passionate about the motive and I love that. And I think that’s where the problem lies for me, I just don’t have any motive or phrase or whatever that I am passionate enough about to permanently put on my body tbh. Also, I am scared of pain and needles, so…

favourite colour? Burgundy.

favourite type of music? Ooof that’s hard to answer, I listen to so many different types of music. One genre I’ve liked pretty consistently from my early teens until now is (mostly British) indie rock and alternative rock – I really like Muse, Placebo, Arctic Monkeys, The Libertines and Nothing But Thieves, for example. And I’ve been to quite a few tiny club concerts of that genre because I know I’ll enjoy it even if I don’t know the band or any of their songs beforehand.

And then I also go through intense music phases mostly related to TV shows I love – it started when I was like 13 watching Gossip Girl and obsessively listening to Death Cab for Cutie, Bloc Party and Sum 41 to when I watched SKAM and got very into Norwegian music (the Norwegian singer/rapper Cezinando still features consistently in my top Spotify artists and has done so since 2017). And now that I’m watching Thai BLs, I started with an obsession about Jeff Satur’s music (and listened to nothing else for like 2 months) and am now gradually venturing out into discovering other Asian music (I’m really enjoying WOODZ, Hua Chen Yu and Violette Wautier so far). So that was a lot of rambling, but still barely covers half of what I actually love listening to…

do you like puzzles? I haven’t done puzzles in aaages, but I have very fond childhood memories of doing them with my grandparents on NYE while waiting for midnight. I think I would still enjoy them if I did them now.

any phobias? Not really. Stuff I’m pretty scared of, sure, but no full-blown phobias.

favourite childhood sport? Hmm, in terms of the sports we played in school, I really enjoyed “Völkerball” (which I’m pretty sure vaguely translates to dodgeball, but I don’t think it’s entirely the same thing). The only problem was that I was really good at dodging the ball and never getting hit, but very, very bad at catching the ball or hitting other people with it, so I could never actually end the game by taking out people on the other team either.

I only started in my teens, but I also really enjoyed (and still enjoy) climbing and bouldering. And my family went skiing every winter when I was a child, which I hated at first, but started to enjoy in my early teens when I didn’t have to do lessons with a bunch of other kids tumbling down the mountain anymore.

do you talk to yourself? All the time in my mind, and sometimes out loud when I’m on my own (particularly when I’m frustrated about something).

what movie(s) do you adore? I actually really love heartwarming feel-good movies tbh. One of my favourite movies is Pride (2014) because it just radiates so much joy and solidarity and a will to live and make things better that always lifts my mood. And I can’t even tell you the amount of times I’ve rewatched Mamma Mia. Another genre of movies I seem to enjoy is movies about female rage a.k.a. women going batshit crazy but being totally justified in it, such as Promising Young Woman or Gone Girl. I do generally prefer watching TV shows to movies, though.

coffee or tea? I get the jitters and become hyperactive in a really uncomfortable way when I drink coffee, so I rarely do. I mostly drink black tea or Mate for the purpose of waking me up.

first thing you wanted to be growing up? Well, according to old friendship book entries, I first wanted to be a princess (until my mum bought me a book about the Habsburgs and I quickly abandoned the idea, which I think was the point) and after that a cook.

Tagging @crumchycow, @mightymightygnomepriest, @salamander89, @fiddlepickdouglas, @obscurecurse

and @lilmaemae and anyone else who wants to do it 😊

[lauvra]

I have a journal document specifically to complain and write my worst thoughts and feelings in childish angsty language and I have copied the first few lines from most of them here because why shouldn't we all suffer? Even sharing a single line from these massive lengthy sook sessions are way too revealing of how SHIT THINGS HAVE BEEN FOR SO LONG NOW. We endure. 7/05/2022 Saturday. My chest hurts, my first feeling every day when I wake up is fear...

20-05-2022 All I want is cosmetic surgery to fix my appearance...

21-05-2022 ... which leaves me with $5 to my name until Thursday. That’s five days, no money. I want to work myself up to going to a pawn shop today...

18/06/2022 11:39AM. ...typical for me to smoke three on the way to work, a quick forth in the back dock, one on my tea, two on my meal, another one on my second tea and then three again on the walk home. Those don’t even mention the many had at home while preparing for work and the many many had once I reach home... ...began as a rebellious expression of freedom... ...has become a full blown addiction that runs my life...

12/07/2022 ...I don’t even want to talk to Ben anymore because he’s so much better than I am or ever will be and...

26/07/22 The way my mood fluctuates so much in a day breeds a sort of magnificent denial which helps me in the short term. Just now my intention was to document how well I’ve been doing, to note my lack of suffering... forgetting entirely that I’ve been consistently late for work, neglected my finances and rarely eat during the day. Forgot about how hard it was to leave the house yesterday because I felt hideous enough the whole community would notice if I did... 25-08-22 Mostly I think about him and money... 7/09/2022 When I’m in the shower I write the best journal entries then I sit down to relay it but it’s garbage... 9/09/2022 It’s Friday, 12:30pm. I texted into work sick again, they were cool about it... 14/09/22 ...I haven’t occupied a moment in his mind and it would be easy to fall into a shame spiral about how much space he has taken in mine… ...I’m in bed and tired but wanted to make sure I vented even badly so that I could wake up with a little more of myself chiselled out. I want simple things, I want grand things. I want to write every single day until something good comes out. I want to paint every day until something good comes out. I don’t want to need some adversarial motivation to take risks or succeed but maybe there will always be a little piece of me that wants to say ‘oh yeah?'...

22/09/22 There’s this tangible feeling out there today of togetherness, the people in the streets reach out to one another. There’s potential...

29/09/2022 I thought I was going to work today. I had planned to, or no plan not to. But I slept in, then slept instead. The longer I did the worse I felt. Heavy. An unmovable object in my bed. Penny pecked and licked her sandpaper tongue over my cheek, nipped then scratched and dug in deep and still I laid...

1/10/2022 ... Why does painting feel so empty? Why does the music feel so empty? Why does writing feel so empty? 16/10/22 I had my first session with the psychologist yesterday... 8/11/22 I know I’m not ‘too far gone’, but I worry... 24/11/2022 The past makes me feel pretty stupid, but more than that, addressing the fact I spent two years of my life getting over one relationship is seriously disturbing to me... 29/11/2022 D messaged me yesterday saying that I treat him like dog shit, that he’s done and doesn’t want to be friends anymore. It honestly felt like a relief... 1/12/22 I’m not sure I’ll ever feel comfortable journaling hand-written into books again... 24/02/2023 I still don’t feel comfortable journaling traditionally... 28/03/2023 6:58PM My work contract is now to start at 10am and finish at 6pm... 8/09/2023 My chest hurts...

16/09/2023 ...I need to change because I can’t think or write or translate what’s in my head, and that’s what’s important to me... 21/09/2023 I decided to move back home to the sunshine coast today. I’ve had complete decision paralysis for a long time, the longest time... 25/09/2023 Nevermind, lol. God it’s humiliating to be a person. Forget everything I said about moving ‘home’; there’s no home...

22/02/2024 If I died today, then I died speaking only my native language...

5/03/2024 I’ve written or brain-dumped in some form every single day since 2021...

10/04/2024 “Money always removes the charge of insanity.” ...

[chonidale]

Thank you for the fic recs. I adore their relationship and (most of) their storylines, and I apologize for implying otherwise. As I said, season 7 is everything.

Apparently I still have some frustrations bubbling under the surface. I just mainlined all 7 seasons in an embarrassingly short time, so I haven’t waded through my thoughts on it fully. I’m glad I watched from the start and I can see how things were set up even if there wasn’t always follow through. With the full story out, I possibly had a different perspective going into S5/S6 so I enjoyed the early angst after the jump and the Abigail shenanigans. While their breakup wasn’t handled perfectly, it was clear to me Toni was looking for stability post time jump. And I recognize the attempt the writers made to show one of these things is not like the other regarding Choni and the other relationship. All that to say, I see what the writers did or tried to do in some instances. There were some others that fell a little flat for me. I prefer motivation beyond servicing a throwaway plot when a character regresses or at least to have the moment addressed again, but I recognize they were balancing a lot of different story threads and they did address some character regressions in later seasons. Overall, it’s a very human trait to fall into old patterns that was not my issue.

Ultimately I’m just trying to get a sense of the characters, so certainly some fault is mine with not grasping narrative pieces. I’m working on coming to terms with the missed potential, which is where the fic writing comes in I suppose.

I honestly didn’t mean for my frustrations to bleed through, or for you to rehash aspects that you’ve probably discussed to death over the course of the show’s run. I could have praised the performances without denigrating other aspects and I am sorry for that. The truth is I watched every episode because I found Cheryl and Toni’s stories compelling in every timeline.

no, i get it. trust, you won't find a single choni fan that hasn't expressed their frustrations for every aspect of their story or all the missed opportunities and wasted potential. this blog is full of mine. but with the story over, it all turned out happily and we got the best end of all the ships (which nobody would have ever expected), and since you didn't have to live through the gutter years live, you can't quite understand what the final season and its contents and just that picture perfect ending means for us. i just think you have to adjust expectations and standards to the show and judge it according to that and compare it to the other stories on the show instead of expecting the same thing you expect from other shows. and yeah, there were the usual tv double standards even all the way to the end, but at the end of the day, the riverdale writers are who they are and they have their strengths and weaknesses and habits and we all knew what all those were by the end, and you just kinda have to take them or leave them. it's obviously different for someone that just binged the whole show at once, but for me, i'm just over focusing on the negative and complaining about what could have been because i've done it to death and it's not changing anything and they got a happy ending and i thought their story was beautiful. and despite all the ugliness of the time jump, it added a huge layer of depth to their story so i wouldn't change it, really. i'll forever be bummed about the things we didn't get or the potential they squandered but they also got so much more than i ever thought they'd get so i choose to focus on that, i guess.

[mmvalentine]

Lover Like Me pt 3 | Feysand

Part 1 Part 2 ** Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14

It's Sunday, it's update day x

A few weeks later, Rhys and the gang organise a beach day.

It’s been surprisingly easy to settle in here, but that might be because Rhys pops round every other day and makes sure I’m alright. I would have thought I’d hate that, after the way Tamlin used to hover. But it’s not like that. Tamlin would comment on the way I dressed, or what I ate, or whether I was keeping the place clean. Rhys just wants to feed me tea and biscuits.

He has a ridiculous sweet tooth, and always has different biscuits. Loves biscuits. Chocolate, cream filled, iced, you name it. He’s like a middle-aged lady stuffed into the body of a young Greek god, and so even though he’s covered in tattoos, he’s quickly established as the least threatening person I know. I don't know how he brews it differently to the way anyone else does, but I find that his cups of tea warm my insides so well that they stay warm long after the mugs are empty and for a while after he leaves.

I think he feels a little protective of me because of his history with Tamlin. I haven’t probed, but every time his name comes up, the corners of Rhys’s mouth turn down. Mor tells me they’ve had it out for each other since childhood, and I’m not sure I want to open that decades-deep can of worms. And besides, I know Tamlin. It’s not a stretch of the imagination to guess at why someone might not like him.

We pile into Cassian’s pick up truck, Azriel in the front seat and me wedged in the back between Rhys and Mor. I hadn’t wanted to come at first, the group in full force can still be a little overwhelming, but Mor said it was exhausting being one of the boys and that if I came she’d get to be a girl. I didn’t quite follow that logic, but Rhys said he’d buy me fish and chips and honestly, I’ve always been motivated by free food.

After an hour’s drive, of Cassian singing along loudly and badly to the radio, we get out of the car and everyone starts immediately pulling their clothes off. I’m not quite prepared for this, and not for the first time I’m slightly scandalised by the raw confidence that steams off these people. In fairness to them, maybe I’d be like that if I looked like them. Mor is in a one-piece swimsuit, which sounds innocent except that nothing is ever innocent on Mor. It’s red, and if it wasn’t already low-cut it’s got a zipper down the front which is currently pulled only half way up. She looks like she’s about to step onto Bay Watch.

Azriel and Cassian are in wetsuits, but the shirt halves are peeled down to the waist and hanging low about their hips. Rhys is in shorts and has just discarded his t-shirt. I decide to keep my loose shirt-dress on until we hit the sand.

It’s early in the Summer and the sun is out but the water is freezing. Azriel and Cassian disappear beyond the waves with surfboards pretty quickly, Mor has struck up a conversation with a nearby volley-ball team, and Rhys is sitting on a towel next to me applying sunscreen. I watch Mor start to toss the ball, and am jealous of how easily she makes friends.

“The sun is the worst thing for tattoos,” he tells me. I notice that he’s paying much more attention to his ink than his face or anything, and wonder if his dark skin means he doesn’t burn easily. I wriggle out of my dress and start applying the lotion everywhere, since I do not have the luxury of differentiating between tattoo-sensitive skin and white-girl-sensitive skin.

“Hey, would you do my back?”

I look up and Rhys is already turning his broad shoulders to me. He’s got dark, curving tattoos down his scapulae, like wings.

“Sure.” I force my casualness into my voice, but I suddenly realise that although he’s around my place all the time, he rarely initiates physical contact. The last time he touched me was when he was applying salve to my arm, but since then he’s kept his distance.

I squirt a good-sized amount of lotion into my palm and then start rubbing him down. It is impossible not to notice the bulk of his muscle under my hands, and I blush a little before remembering he can’t see me. I try to stay professional, giving good SPF coverage, going back for a second squirt after underestimating the size of him, and wonder if Rhys knows his tattoo well enough to know if my fingers slip beyond the borders of the ink. I tell myself I can’t help it, I’m an artist and I like beautiful things. I tear my hands away. “All done,” I say, perhaps a little too brightly.

“Thanks.” Rhys turns. “Now you.”

I hand the tube back to him and spin obediently. He lifts the length of my hair over my shoulder, before I hear the squelch of lotion, and then he touches me.

Rhys’s hands are enormous. I can feel him all the way across the span of my shoulders, and when he squeezes a little it’s everywhere. His touch is slightly rough where his hands are calloused, and warmer than the sun. Incongrouously, an involuntary shiver runs through me and I hope Rhys doesn't notice.

It’s over and soon as it’s started.

“Thank you,” I tell him. Rhys just winks at me, and then walks down to the water. “You know if you don’t wait a while you’re just washing it all off,” I call after him. He doesn’t stop though.

I lie back on my towel and fish my book out of my bag. For the next little while, time loses meaning.

At a guess it’s about an hour and a half later that the group returns. I’ve stayed with everyone’s bags and towels, and I don’t know how they coordinated to come back together but my attention is snagged when when a shadow falls over my page and I look up and there they all are. Mor is slightly sweaty from her game, but somehow instead of gross she’s just flushed and glowing. She’s pulled her blonde hair back into a pony tail and is talking to Azriel. Cassian and Rhys have come up on the other side. Rhys is dripping on me a little. His hair is slicked back, apart from a rogue curl at the front, and I catch one glimpse of the way his wet shorts are clinging to him before I pointedly return to my book. Cassian sits down next to me.

“Have you been in the water yet, Feyre?” he asks me. “Come for a surf. You can take Az’s board, he’s going to look for some food.”

“I don’t know how,” I tell him, closing my book before it gets soaked.

“Well that’s no problem, I can teach you.”

“Isn’t it freezing?”

“It’s not too bad if you’re in a wetsuit. You can wear Rhys’s, it’s in the car.”

“It’ll be huge on me,” I argue.

“It’ll do fine for now.”

“I’m extraordinarily uncoordinated.”

“You can swim, can’t you?”

“Yeah I can swim…”

“Well then let’s go!”

I run out of arguments. Saying no to Cassian is like saying no to a golden retriever, and I can’t quite manage it.

“Okay?” I give him a weird grimace and I guess the pleased look on his face is worth it.

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” Rhys says.

“I… no I want to try.”

“Yeah Rhys she wants to try,” Cassian says. He puts his arm around my shoulders and frowns at Rhys as he leads me away.

“Look after her,” Rhys just says mildly.

“Of course I’m gonna look after her.” Cassian's annoyance grows. His eyebrows go up when he turns back to me. “I’m gonna look after you,” he reassures me.

So I let him put me into Rhys’s oversized suit, talk me through the motions on the sand and then tow me out into the ocean.

I’m not convinced my efforts are worth recounting, seeing as it involved a lot of me getting dumped and struggling to remember which way is up. I scramble onto the board, get knocked off by a wave with a right hook, drown for a minute, and then emerge above the fray to the sounds of Cassian’s whooped encouragements. I repeat this process so many times my throat is raw and burning with salt, and my eyes are stinging and puffy. I’m bruised from bumping the board wrong, attached as it is to my ankle. I croak my defeat to Cassian after what feels like an hour, and he helps guide me back to shore, where I struggle back to the group like a wet cat and land in a heap on my towel.

“So surfing, probably not for me,” I rasp.

“What are you talking about, you did great!” Cassian says. I squint up at his face and am not sure whether to be surprised that he is being completely genuine. “First day, baby,” he says. “It can only get better from here.”

“Yeah Cassian was shit his first day, don’t worry about it,” Mor says.

“Still is shit,” Azriel adds. He gives me his towel to wrap around my shoulders, since I am sitting on mine. Mor hands me a bottle of water, and it tastes strangely sweet on my sea-savaged lips.

And despite myself I laugh and agree to try again, because although I am exhausted and bedraggled and sore, I do feel like I accomplished something, and I feel a little more at ease with these guys than I did before.

Rhys arrives then, with the promised fish and chips and I realise I’m starving. The steaming hot, battered fish is everything I need, and I am content with filling my stomach while Cassian regales Rhys with the tales of my valiant attempt. He acts all impressed and gives me the rest of his chips.

“Oh I ran into Cress and Tarquin,” Rhys says, while helping me out of his wetsuit. The words don’t mean anything to me, but the others all react positively. “They said they’ll be around our area next week so might try to organise something.”

“Sounds good, I haven’t seen those guys in forever,” Cassian says.

“Beach people,” Mor shrugs, looking toward me. “Pretty but boring.”

“Helion’s coming down too,” Rhys tells her. She immediately lights up.

“Oh then I’ll be there!”

“She and Helion used to have a thing,” Azriel fills me in. Mor sighs fondly.

“The last dude I ever banged,” she sighs. “He’s almost as good in bed as a woman.”

“Hey,” Cassian pouts. Mor ignores him and closes one eye at Rhys.

“Didn’t you go out with Helion at some stage?” she asks him.

“No, he dated Cress,” Azriel says. Rhys just clears his throat and starts packing things up.

“Okay time to go everyone,” he says, dodging the question. Mor rolls her eyes and loops her arm through mine, telling me how they had met the group when they had come up stay at the beach after high school graduation. From what I gather, unsupervised teenage shenanigans ensued.

Later, we are back in the car and this time Rhys is driving. Azriel went off to visit a girl in town and did not return home with us, Cassian and Mor are snoozing in the back seat, and I am sitting in the passenger side in my swimsuit, with my towel folded under me and Rhys’s sweater over the top. I feel like maybe I should be embarrassed that my bikini top is making two wet patches in the front of his shirt, but I’m too tired to worry about it. I just lean back in my seat, with my legs folded under me and my dark glasses cutting the glare of the setting sun, and peek at Rhys in profile.

He’s driving with one hand on the wheel and the other resting on his open window. His hair is drying in the wind, the salt curling the ends, and his violet eyes are warm in the orange light. He glances at me, and winks when he catches me staring, before turning back to the road.

I drag my gaze away too, and watch the trees blur beside me. I wonder how I ended up here, how I came so far from where I was a month ago, and how I got so lucky as to find these people.

And I make myself a promise that I’m not going to screw up these friendships. Not with Mor and not with Cassian, not with Azriel and I’m not sure if Azriel’s my friend yet but I decide that he will be. And especially not with Rhys, because I’m pretty sure he’s saved me in more ways than he knows.

***

I feel the need to put out a warning that this is a thing i plan to start fluffy and turn dark and i dont want to be misleading (but also i'm fairly sure y'all are a bunch of kinky shits soooo should be fine right) Also idk what the fuck is happening with this taglist but some of them dont work and the editor is making it extremely difficult for some reason so I'm very sorry for that. Also also if you don't want to be on the taglist just let me know, it's been about a year since some of you have been on here and I haven't checked in!

MASTERLIST

TAGLIST: @ghostlyrose2 @highladysith @stardelia @feysand-loml @tillyrubes10 @ratabrasileira @live-the-fangirl-life @maybekindasortaace @annejulianneh111 @thebonecarver @rowaelinismyotp @loosingdreams @pitrsattabhaadmeinjao @achernarlight @swankii-art-teacher @sjmships @courtofjurdan @teddytdr @positivewitch @thalia-2-rose @darling-archeron @rapunzel1523 @fairchildjace @hopefulacademia @story-scribbler @fandomstalker27 @realbookloverproblems @dealfea @s-tormwitch @cretaceous-therapod @whenyadoesntcutit @scatterbrainedgirl @whoever-you-choose-to-love @endlessdaydream @themoonthestarsthesuriel @rarephloxes @timesconvert

[captainkurosolaire]

~ Update ~

When the heart yearns does it ever burn. It’s most certainly back, after nearly a year dimming out. Last year I put everything I had into punching holes through my limits and barriers.I am without mistaken proud of what I accomplished and the tribute I laid out that I wholeheartedly dealt. But of course. That’s never enough for me. I still feel as I’ve only put scratches of what I’m capable to do-- no, what I want to do. With that being said I’ll be back soon in full might, undoubtedly with another consistent flood-wave of flowing content and ink to canvases, soul sweating every fiber I got to unlock and breathe again. Cause it’s only when I’m truly back to creating, do I breakout and feel oh so alive! It’s a ventilation and my own personal oxygen supply that nulls any health issue, disease and as it’s tried for over a decade now to try redefining my approach to live. It’s been unsuccessful in taking me out for the long haul. I will go further in details of what has transpired in my absence gone below the cut. But a month is my goal date. I’ve already began lining up some content and I definitely have some swelling ideas but I am taking a new charge in this upcoming voyage so I can be with all intent more longevity my fully functional state. Cheers until then hearties.

Awhile ago, I wrote a piece about how doubt can poison us and ground. With that said the manifestation was festering me. Wasn’t certain If I’d ever be able to get drawn or motivated enough to trigger that awakening I held that same energy, drive, heart and determination I unleashed the after-mention year. That’s most likely a scenario occurs a lot after a stellar year in any sort of thing many factors, fear for future events, uncertainty if a prime was hit. Although I can’t deny the creeping shadows of that engulfing can’t be an issue. Things beyond control putting effort in that it’s much more damaging. And I honestly don’t feel that is a web of truth for me. As I stated, know there’s more to grow in me. That haven’t properly been nurtured yet is all. The season hasn’t dried away all the cold, it’s all still fresh. Sometimes changing fighting stances results in better yields, and I think mentally there’s guard changes, stand swaps in those too. I no longer think on what dwells. Instead there’s a starving in my belly and itch that needs a fill and relieve. A viscous passion consumes me and I’m taking it to pampering it up nice and taking it to prom and we’ll see where that night gets me. Envisioned many arcs and sagas so much unfilled but I was always daunted with the notion that it had a standard I needed to commit. Not just for the sake of others but for my own personal, self-improvement. Perfection isn’t my cup. I’ve got my damages, the trauma and a plethora of flaws. They make up me and give me abundance of ideas, to twist and warp something authentic and throw it into fantasy. I have rode out the physical and mental rehabilitation and it’s an exhausting card every time. It’s a grueling tradition at this point. But the only weakness isn’t giving it all out and launching yourself to get an extra step, pushing it to get a sprint out again before anything catastrophic hit. Turned into a very ghostly figure, closed in and put myself in a box, unable to confront or muster any more energy to give to the people that matter or the closest to me and there’s never an easy way to leave things like that, can make others ponder if they did stuff wrong or blame themselves, however isn’t a -them- issue. Isn’t even something personally another did just an old vehicle with some shitty mileage rates, the gas tank leaks, the entire motor is shot and barely worthy of getting to a trusted destination. But when the ignition works, it purrs with a classic thrill. That’s a lot how as a system I operate. I’m a doomed situation to repair, the price runs beyond the budget. But I’m get a destination out more than ever expected and fill that ride with memories and songs to last until I work again. This time, I get my motor running early for a change, spend an entire month, challenge myself to put stuff to paper. Build up the entire thing and stockpile, then whatever I have, I unleash in whatever state of quality when I return. Then while that occurs, I take myself and do the sightseeing, do the things I’ve wanted. Return and be more proactive about attending events, try stirring up some threads, and things I always wanted too. But be uninterrupted by all the deterrence or feeling like I need to puncture something forcefully in. Let things hit me and still go, then start stockpiling in the background and continue the pace, staying a whole ten miles ahead. Try making this joy ride last as long as possible, surpassing all that stuff I did before. Giving myself a month of wiggle room to fuel up. For now got Budokai 3 a showdown with some unique astrology and lore-twisting usages to make a deathmatch out. Just need to polish that up and I’ll have that done. But that water doesn’t end I got some skit ideas, some concepts I never once had in my head for years that came organically that’ll follow the aftermath of the results of that gruesome battle, that’ll be even more in-depth filling, I got that a lot from the last XIV Challenge. Then if I can get to it, I have a major arc with a very ambitious idea. Try getting a whole crew vs crew showdown going into something. There’s a literal ‘giant’ undertaking I want this year and a whole War/Saga point that’ll just endlessly and abundantly unlock so much stuff and I want that initial thing at the very least. I said and set that last year and nothing has changed. If anything I’ve got a chip on my shoulder to get to it fairly. But if anyone out there ever want to chat on here or discord or something about OC or story stuff, or plot ideas, pre-establish stuff, or intrigue in joining Crew and huge arc or anything I’m going to do my best to be even more accommodating. - Try upping my gif and screen-set stuff, cosplay things too when I get myself in the forefront of this. Stay worldly ye treasures.

[brunchbitch]

update!

thought i would do an update as it’s been forever since i’ve done one.

so the school year is finished - i successfully completed my first year of full time grad school! going into last year, i had some doubts about whether i would be able to make it the whole year without going into the hospital, but i did it! i’ve also REALLY worked hard on my perfectionism this year... mostly, to be honest, bc of smoking weed. there are obviously many cons to how frequently i’m using marijuana, but for where i am right now, it has been soooo helpful in allowing me to chill the fuck out. my anxiety and perfectionism just really decreased overall. like i would have the option of reviewing and making minor edits to my papers for the 30th time, or i could go smoke a joint with A and settle for what might be less than perfect (but honestly my grades really didn’t suffer compared to when i wasn’t smoking weed). i don’t want to get anons telling me that it’s bad i’m using marijuana regularly so go ahead if you want to, but i’m gonna delete them. i’ve been talking to B a lot about the pros and cons, he is fully aware of how much and how often i am using, and we are working on harm reduction plans to decrease the frequency/amount, but it’s really not my biggest concern right now.

behaviorally, i am doing really well. i haven’t self harmed in a year and a half now, though i had several nights in a row last week where i had intense cutting dreams and i really really miss it, that quick sense of exhilaration and relief. there’s really nothing else like it. but i’ve been able to avoid any lapses. ED wise my behaviors are nonexistent. one of the cons of smoking so much weed is that i get the munchies so badly so intuitive eating has honestly completely gone out the window. i’m eating a lot more than i need to and a lot of “unhealthy” foods, so i have gained weight, although the weight i gained at the beginning of the pandemic when i was smoking a lot has pretty much remained consistent since then. i also haven’t been working out at all since the pandemic started. i really want to get back into exercise and recently met with a personal training gym so i’m going to get into a routine this summer. i’m nervous but excited - the purpose is NOT to lose weight (though i would be lying if i said i don’t hope it’ll happen), but to just not feel winded after climbing a flight of stairs. i truly just want to feel healthier and stronger. 

most likely bc of the no exercise piece, my back has been BAD. that’s another reason i’m motivated to get back into exercise. i have never felt the type of pain i’ve experienced with my back in the last couple years. right now i’m in the middle of a flare-up which has been going on for about three days to the point where it wakes me up at night. i am sooo uncomfortable and walking around like an old woman lol. unfortunately, the back pain reinforces the smoking marijuana piece bc it really helps the pain! at that point, i don’t even care that i might get the munchies, i just want to stop hurting.

my internship from the school year, which i loved, asked me to stay on as a part-time case manager this summer, so i’m gonna work for them for about 8 weeks longer than i would have for just my internship. we are planning an event for world refugee day, which will be my last day, and i’m so excited to see all the clients and foster families gather together. the case manager who has been on maternity leave for most of the year will also be returning in june so i’ll be able to meet with her directly and update her on how our clients have been doing.

i am really excited about my internship for next year, but i am REALLY stressed and worried about my schedule. i’ll be at the internship monday through wednesday probably 8:30am-5pm. i really got fucked by the class registration at my school so i had to submit waitlist requests for all of my classes. as a result, i was put in four classes all on thursdays. so my day will start at 8:30am and end at 9pm. i will have a bit of a break after my first class where i would have time to go home and take a nap, but otherwise the three classes are basically all in a row. i genuinely don’t know how my back is going to handle it. it would definitely be nice to have fridays off (besides therapy and the gym and any other doctor’s appointments i would have), but i would much rather have one or two classes on fridays to lessen the stress of thursdays. there is an option to do a program modification request where i would take two of my elective classes next summer instead of in the fall, so i wouldn’t graduate in may, but i don’t really care about that. so i’ve been looking at the pros and cons of doing that with B.

therapy with B is going well. it’s such a different type of therapy since i was in the GR. i feel like we are much more collaborators than the dynamic of him being “in charge” of me, and it’s been really helpful and empowering. i’m so much more able to look at certain feelings or thoughts or experiences without the heavy veil of shame on top, and it has completely changed the way i think about my situation. in addition, i’ve taken a big step back from my family. it’s been really hard and i still feel some guilt about it, especially not really being a part of my nieces’ and nephews’ lives, but i also feel so much stronger and confident in my own opinions. there have been some financial situations in which i had to stand up to my dad and hold my ground despite his persuasion otherwise, and i’ve been proud of my ability to do that, though it does feel strange and “wrong” in some ways. i honestly think he’s a little baffled bc i’ve never really had strong opinions before in ways that run counter to his, or at least that i’ve never expressed them.

my sister in law, wife of one of Them, has been sick. she was diagnosed with narcolepsy type 1 so she has cataplexy attacks where like half of her face will be paralyzed and droop or she will lose any ability to move her arms or legs or speak. she was getting out of the car and collapsed and my brother had to carry her inside. my niece was in the car and she asked my brother “is mommy gonna die?” it’s really been hard on all of them, she is SO depressed, and there really hasn’t been any treatment that has helped her. my whole family is sort of surrounding her in support by watching the kids, bringing her meals, sitting with her, etc. and we had a zoom call recently (without her) to discuss how we can all contribute. which felt weird. but it’s also nice to not be the “identified patient” of the family anymore lol.

things with A are going very well :) we continue to talk about marriage and possibly having kids. i thiiiiiink there’s a proposal in the cards this summer, though i’m not entirely sure. he has helped me soooo much this year and i think a big part of my behavioral stability has been thanks to him. i feel so seen by and safe with him. 

luna and lia are doing pretty well, though luna has developed asthma so we’re trying to teach her how to use an inhaler, and lia has a bad habit of vomiting her food, even when we use a slow feeder (”licky mat”), but it’s possible she’s been nibbling on one of A’s plants which can cause vomiting in cats. so, small things, but having them be sick at all makes me anxious! i just don’t know what i would do without them.

hmm... i think that’s it! if anyone wants to ask me anything, i’m open! and i’m sorry i haven’t been active on here. not sure what my future usage will look like but i’ll keep you all updated!

[gengar-pixel-2]

@majormeilani​  HOLY P E C K-  Alright, Since i suppose i am known for being the mafia person, (well, one of!! theres more!) I’m gonna drop my takes. Keep in mind, These are just my opinions.

Alright, A bit of backstory. Get ready for a whole ass wall of text. (TL:DR, I was gonna save some of this for the massive fanfic, But it won’t be done for a while and also my hiatus...)

Alright i’ve been in this fandom for a while, Now. Even if it wasn’t on tumblr, Originally.  I hopped on a few days before seal the deals launch. Then after i researched the main-game as best as i could, The DLC dropped the next day. I had my hands full, Plus a whole headworld to work out. (which, i did! it’s a crossover!) and super paper mario was involved at the time. But not the point. I had my hands full. I saw MU’S backstory lemme tell you.. I HATED the mafia at first, WITH A BURNING PASSION. I kinda.. Didn’t know who was my favorite favorite at the time, Though, I suppose it was snatcher.. So one night, I can’t sleep. I do a few doodles, And thus, The first concept of piper was conceived and drawn. A small headshot of a girl with a pigtail and separated bangs. She had a mischievous look and said: “That’s what you get for messing with the mafia cooks!” And well.. Next day, Few more doodles.. She became my favorite oc. (TL:DR Again, I also had undiagnosed autism at this point.) So then.. The more i developed her, The more attached to the mafia boss i became. And the mafia as a whole. Slowly but surely, He became my favorite of all time and now, WITH diagnosed autism, The one i fixate on. A lot has changed since then, Like their dynamic, However, Now we get to the meat of this long ramble. The jar and.. redemption arc, If you will? *Breathes in.* OKAY SO-

Basically,  I do agree with a lot of the points here. I do feel like i was robbed of some kinda depth for him.. And while he DOES deserve the jar thing, ABSOLUTELY he does, He did horrible deeds, (not the worst in game but still pretty bad..) And i adore his jokes, They put a smile on my face, As the OP and Anon stated.. Yeah all the boss’s get their own little “Oh look!!! Friends or frenemies!!” Thing, And he doesn’t? Dunno. When i think about it now, it doesn’t sit right. His beta speech does intrigue me a bit, As the “I haven’t seen a time piece in a couple hundred years..” IS- EXCUSE ME?? WHAT?? and his unclear motivations i find interesting (more on that in a bit) I do wish we had more of him as a whole.. However, There’s another thing i’d like to add. In my opinion, I do once again, Think he should’ve been given more time to shine or a frenemies thing like with some of the other boss’s,  And honestly i’d love to know what his old island life was like, I do think that, At least for me..

This character doesn’t need his depth to make me happy. He just brings a smile on my face as a whole. Both in-game, And in my canon.  I do sometimes wish he had more of a character than just being angry, Well.. Even if we don’t have much, I’m content. I just think he’s neat! (please don’t take this the wrong way!!)  ..BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I DIDN’T MAKE THIS WHOLE, COMPLEX ARC, THAT HAS CONFLICT, INNER TURMOIL, SINS OF THE FATHER, DAD AND DAUGHTER BONDING, ANGST HELL HOLE, ANGER ISSUES-FILLED, HORRIBLE HOMELIFE, HAVING ARC FOR NOTHING. LET ME TELL YOU-  Basically, In a short(er) summary, Here’s some of his backstory from my canon, As i am saving some details for the fic.  *ahem.*

The Mafia Boss, (Real name being Ivan Barinov) Growing up, Didn’t have the best parents.. They weren’t as bad as pipers, But they were neglectful. His dad was very cold and stoic, Never showed much emotion. Anytime his son was upset or crying, He told him it was a “Sign of weakness” to show it. ..So he bottled it all up. For years. Any sort of issue? Held inside. it was a sign of weakness. (not really-)  Let me also add in how he had anger issues that went unchecked.

He got a dead-end job at a fish-based factory. There was some semi-good pay, But he longed to be away from his home, And someplace else. One day, He decided to well.. Leave. He gathered up the goons, And started The “Mafia cooks” deal. What better way to hide your  past? Start a new life, And have a new identity as a crime boss AND  in the process, Be respected, Adored, And get good pay and live a good life. They all fled onto a boat to find a new home.

It took awhile, But they got to mustache girls island. I think you understand how this went. (AND im saving what happened to her parents for later EHEHEH) He begun his new life. ..He did begin to question if.. This is what he really wanted but.. NO! The child isn’t his problem! None of this is! He FINALLY HAS WHAT HE WANTED. A NEW LIFE, AWAY FROM HIS HOME AND PARENTS. ..He then basically became the mafia boss officially, And enforced this new persona of his, So-to-speak.

..Then piper came.

Everything changed that day. In the process, Learned some things about himself. ..But piper looks up to him. Why? No one ever has, He’s.. A bad person? How would she feel if she found out about what he’s done? If she knew the truth? ..So like he did years ago, He begun hiding everything. This later did come crashing down, But in the process, Piper forgave him for his mistakes. After all, He’s the best dad she could ever ask for.

If some of this doesn’t make a lotta sense right now, And some gaps don’t seem to filled, Or you don’t understand his motivations, THAT’S because the whole story will be given in the fic. LEMME tell you, You are in for a treat.

Basically.. Thanks for tagging me, Here. I love this post! And your hot take! Sorry for the ramble in advance, Though..

The thing is. Mafia boss is never treated as sympathetically as any other bosses. Directors are just some celebirdies and Snatcher gets BFF contracted. It is some mafia goon that clings to the ship and not him, and it isnt that he is there and he doesnt have a speaking role like Cooking Cat (unless im blind), he isnt present in the scene in any capacity, no one is holding his jar. Even in the cut cafe scene he is like HEY?? I DIED?? and no one gives a darn. He willingly causes harm like Snatcher EXCEPT Snatcher doesn't seem to hunt people outside, its fae hospitality bullshit but he stays on his fucking lane. Mafia Boss' backstory, his motivation is that he got bored so he invaded an island and At Most Charitable Interpretation mass deported its locals.

Fuck, the fact you can even offer the time piece is enough evidence that Mu is in the right but thats where we leave off!!!!

i'm not in particularly sure what post of mine this is responding to (if at all and it's maybe just a random rambling!) so i'm gonna try and assume this was something i said about mafia boss' character but if it's not what i think it is i apologize-

but if this is about how mafia boss' character doesn't get much of anything compared to the other characters, i do for sure agree. like i am not heavily invested in mafia boss' character myself (he's mostly just a funny bastard guy tm to me; i don't necessarily hate him by any means just what he did i'm not a fan of bc. i love mu gjsfjafjjcwjc) BUT i do think it's lame as hell that compared to the other antagonists he gets very little to his character and doesn't really have much a motivation for anything beyond like. being bored one day and maybe the mafia's population problem. and like, if we're talking cut content, he also had one interesting aspect to his character which was literally ONE LINE before his boss fight that mentioned he saw the time pieces a long time ago and for some reason the devs cut it? but left grooves' line IN about how he saw one a long time ago?? weirdly inconsistent and rather unfair. (tho that like mb says is canon in my mind still)

and yeah, everyone else is also treated as though they are worth sympathy too but he's kinda cast aside! which on one hand i'm like okay this game is just being silly but also it does make me feel a lil bit bad for him tbh.... even though i do think he deserved some consequences for what he did (like i think all the antagonists do)

i definitely feel really sorry for mafia boss fans how dirty his character was done and i'm honestly all for people giving him more depth too. unfortunately i personally can't say what i think about the depth of his character is for me because if i'm honest, i don't really think much about him as a character on that level. but it really does suck that he's usually treated as just the butt of the joke by the game and not taken seriously as a character (despite the severity of his actions and also what he ends up being punished with)

[riainceol]

Kemrit - Track by Track

Deeply concerned that the amount my Id runs my music is going to be unavoidable if i write in depth about it but let’s talk about my debut EP.

First off we’re gonna define an EP, what makes an EP different to an album? For me there’s generally two things. Length and cohesion. Kemrit is not a cohesive record, so it’s not really a representative of what I’m writing. It’s a collection of moods and vibes, basically. It’s also less than 7 tracks. 7 tracks is iffy but if it’s 8 or more, by my standards we’re veering into album territory. I know that traditionally an EP was made for a 6” or somewhere between rather than a 12” but honestly… it’s 2022.

The artwork is a photo of the inside of my jeans pocket that my phone took by accident, but I thought it would be funny to use it as artwork, I also thought it would be funny to name it Kemrit. “Hello, Kemrit thee forg here!”.

I’m giving away all my secrets.

The idea was basically, I’ve written this stuff and I need to get it out. So it was a very soft release. But I’m still happy with it.

In the Bleak Midwinter.

I wanted to write a song that was about the White Wall of Whale. I love Moby Dick, the idea that Melville tries to push in the book, that not only is Ahab’s revenge ultimately destructive, of himself and his crew, but is also pointless, as all creatures are equal and nature doesn’t care one way or the other because we’re part of it, had a big impact on me. The motive behind this track was, let’s write a song about dying in the snow. It interpolates Carol of The Bells and it’s just good riffage, but very simple.

I tend to want to do more. You don’t have to, it’s kinda better to be more quick, centred and simple with music but I have these stupid fucking standards for my own stuff. This song kills live though so my standards are clearly wrong.

Uisce (Water)

A lot of my inspiration is from nature. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but Ireland is a fucking beautiful place. I’ve grown up not far from the coast, and have always loved the sea. Uisce was inspired by the push and pull of the waves on the shore. I deliberately kept this simple, along with the other more atmospheric track on this EP. I was having an issue about trying to force it, lyrically. Thankfully that’s not as much of a problem, especially when I write heavier stuff. But I wanted to make a mood more than write songs.

The Hound

This is the weakest song on the record, I’ll hold my hands up and admit it. I got too in the weeds, I didn’t do a good enough job with the vocals and the production and I got too enamoured with the lead lines but this is a LEARNING exercise. We’re gonna fuck it, it’s okay to fuck it.

I wanted to write a one note riff like Lamb of God and ended up writing a fucking weird abnormal time sig Tool style riff instead. That should have been my first clue. I like wolves, I like the idea of wolves as both an animal and as a metaphor for dissidence. We used to have wolves in Ireland, we kept them as pets the same as dogs. In part of Cromwell’s efforts to “tame” Ireland he killed them all.

I don’t think I would play this one without some major rewriting.

Oíche Maith (Good Night)

This was the first full piece of original music I’d written in 8 years. I wrote this piece of music looking out the window at nature and the sunset, and decided I was going to just do my own music again.

So here’s the thing, I WAS recording covers. Here’s one of them.

https://on.soundcloud.com/LVLA6S9rZ9cgawsD7

I had been playing covers in 2019 acoustically and I wanted to have some recordings I could point to and say “hey this is how I am, these are the kinds of versions I do” but then the pandemic happened. And it was like, “you can make music, it doesn’t have to be songs, it could be a mood, something as simple as this.”

And so I did.

I’ve never played this out but it’s only because I haven’t got the right setup for it. I love this piece.

Ashes.

I never got to learn Irish in school. Due to circumstance and stuff like that. I grew up in the north, then the nature of my schooling kept me from having lessons (there are plenty of people in the North who learned Irish in school). I have always been bitter about that. You might have noticed that I’ve been working on that somewhat. But this song is about my anger and my impotence about my native language.

My native language is an unfamiliar tongue. As it is for anyone who doesn’t come from a native family or was raised and schooled in Irish. That shit fucks you up so bad.

I could never write verses so I ended up butchering the Our Father as Gailege, and drowning it in effects to represent the distance to the language I felt. That might change in the future, both the way the song is written and my relationship to my language. But this was a big cathartic song for me and it’s the one I’m most proud of on the EP. Even if it’s not where I’d want it to be now.

That’s a track by track on my first EP. It’s been fun looking back at these with a bit of distance, thanks for coming along with me for the ride.

[jinkicake]

You Call Him Daddy?!

You accidentally call them daddy in front of the team.

Kageyama Tobio x Reader

Sugawara Koushi x Reader

Tsukishima Kei x Reader

For the anons who requested these characters!! Here you go~~ I combined them and put them on one page, the Karasuno boys. (*・∀-)☆ Pls omg Kageyama and Tsukki are aged up to 18, they’re third years in this. Don’t be gross and think they’re tiny first years, I wouldn’t be able to handle it TT

This is complete and utter filth, I have no idea what possessed me to write this. Please..... read this at your own caution TT SMUT

WC- 2,208

~~~

Kageyama Tobio

Kageyama would pass away on the spot, he would stop functioning

Honestly though, it was his fault he got caught, he was too distracted to even catch his mistake

It was tournament season and you were going to watch some of his games

Sadly though you had to babysit your neighbor’s daughter, who happened to be the child of Aoba’s assistant coach, and with her parent’s permission you brought her to the arena

It was so crowded as you held her to your chest, you frantically looked around for any members of your boyfriend’s team

You couldn’t see where you were going and bumped into a familiar player, their large hands bracing your shoulders and your eyes widen at the turquoise in your vision

“Oh, Kindaichi I’m sorry, are you okay?” You smile politely at your boyfriend’s old teammate, much to Kageyama’s dismay, you actually liked the onion head and Kunimi

“I’m fine, it’s good to see you. Hi Natsumi.” He pats the little girls head and she squeals in delight at the familiar boy

“Where’s daddy, huh?” You coo and lift her up so she can find her father

“Daddy! Daddy!” The little girl calls out to her father and you hand her over to the assistant coach before waving at Kunimi

“(Y/N).” Kageyama calls from behind you, you can’t keep the wide smile off of your face when you see him “What’s wrong?” His concern sends your heart into a frenzy

“Oh, nothing! I’m just letting Natsumi see her dad before we head up to the bleachers, I was looking for you!” You tell him and he flicks your forehead, disappointment heavy in his features

“So you weren’t calling for me?” His flirty tone causes your face to heat up and you thought no one had heard due to the mass amount of people in the hallway

You were wrong…

“Gross.” Kunimi rolls his eyes as he passes his old teammate “That’s nasty, even for you Kageyama.” He tosses his nose high into the air and a bright red Kindaichi follows behind him

You can only gape and blink before clutching your boyfriend’s shoulders and laughing loudly into his chest

Kageyama seriously stopped working, his face turned bright red and he was trying to hide his face behind his thick hair

“Ah you’re so cute Kageyama!” You cup his cheek and smile sweetly, in an effort trying to bring his spirits up after the humiliation he brought on

“You look so cute with kids.” Kageyama praises, his face resting in the crook of your neck as he slowly thrusts into you. You tilt your head back against the pillow at the intensity of each stroke, your back arches into the air and Kageyama smirks before wrapping his lips around your nipple. 

“F-fuck,” You sigh loudly, your voice breaking off into a moan when his teeth bite down on the small nub. Your hands quickly find his hair and roughly pull on the strands, you’re really being worked with each of his thrusts.

“I should fuck a baby into you, shouldn’t I? You would look so nice with my cum spilling out of you, don’t you think?” When Kageyama asks questions he always expects an answer, but right now it’s so hard to give him one. It’s so hard to focus between his pelvis rubbing against your clit and the overall feeling of being so full.

“Yes,” Your word stretches with a whine and you press your lips together to hold back another. “I would like it so much daddy.” Your begs make Kageyama want to pick up the pace but he continues to thrust into you slowly while one of his hands gently slaps your other breast.

“Is that any way to ask, petal?” His eyes are so commanding as he looks at you, almost as if he is testing you to reject his motives. The natural dominance, the need to be in charge, radiating off of him makes you feel so small under him. So protected in his care that you want to give your all to him. 

“Please ruin me, I won’t waste a single drop daddy.” You promise and Kageyama breaks into a wide grin, his hips pick up the pace to fuck you into the sheets.

“That’s it sweet girl, you better keep your words.”

Sugawara Koushi

Listen nobody thinks Sugawara is nasty

But let’s be real, we have all seen him angry! That bitch is crazy!

We call Daichi the ‘dad’ but honestly,,,, Sugawara could make everyone his bitch without lifting a finger

Daddy!Sugawara periodt, that’s all I want to say

After practice one day you agreed to help some of the first years with their Japanese literature class, it went by slow and you mainly just proofread their writing to make sure it was all correct

As you continue to read through Hinata’s paper, your brows furrow together when you try to piece together the word he had written

It doesn’t look like it belongs there and you can’t figure out what it could possibly be

“Umm Hinata what is this word? It looks like you wrote ‘daddy’ but that doesn’t fit there?” You lightly point at the smudged pencil and the small boy squeaks before trying to piece it together himself

“Daddy? Hinata you’re an idiot!” Kageyama insults as he continues to write his own paper

“Daddy? I love that word!” Sugawara pops up from behind you and squats down to kiss your cheek before running back to the court

The two first years look at each other before looking at you, confusion painted on their faces before going back to their work

“Is no one going to say anything about that?” Tsukishima looks around with a mild disgust before shrugging his shoulders and serving to Yamaguchi

“You didn’t mean it like that right Sugawara?” Daichi smiles at his friend, his smile faltering when his friend doesn’t confirm his statement

“No I like being called daddy.” The refreshing setter sends an innocent smile back before grabbing a ball, ignoring the stunned look on his captain's face

“S-Sugawara-“ Asahi starts but can’t find the words to figure out what the hell to say

Kiyoko looks up from her clipboard and sends you an approving nod, hiding her face behind the object just as quickly as she looked up

“Hey! Let’s not be so surprised! We’ve all seen him angry before!” Nishinoya defends, standing tall next to his setter “Good for you Sugawara, daddys for life!” He gives him a slap on the back as praise and you simply watch the entire thing with a deep embarrassment

“Am I really that innocent to them? Do I not look like I would be into freaky shit, should I be offended?” Sugawara continues to ask you, knowing damn well you won’t be able to answer him back with the makeshift gag in your mouth. “Your panties work so well, don’t they angel? You look so utterly delectable.” He pushes the material deeper into your mouth with two fingers before going back to check each of the soft silk ties holding your arms and legs apart. “As if none of them want to be called daddy, and they look at me like I’m the weird one?” He continues to rant, gently running his finger up and down your naked body. “What do you think, sweetheart?”

You try to talk around the soaked material but it only comes out like complete nonsense, Sugawara nods as if he understands it anyway.

“What can I do to show them I’m not the vanilla player they think I am? I’ve already ruined you beyond repair, haven’t I?” He cups your cheek lovingly, his words are added with extra fluff that hold nothing but lies. “Maybe I just need to push your beautiful body further. Would you like that angel?” He continues to ask and you nod frantically. “Ah, of course you would.” Sugawara dips his fingers between your thighs, spreading your folds apart to tap at your clit. Even the small action makes you release a muffled cry.

“Daddy is going to take such good care of you tonight.”

Tsukishima Kei

I don’t know who Tsukishima would throw off a building first, you or himself

It would be just his luck that the first time you call him daddy, someone overhears it and can’t keep their mouth shut

Spoiler alert : said person is Hinata

It’s after school before practice and Tsukishima has you cornered against the wall in an abandoned hallway

One of his long legs rest between your own and his hands are pressed flat on either side of your head

Yes you had been teasing him in class, sending him filthy text messages to the point that you could see the familiar tent rising in his slacks but, did you stop there?

Nope

Seeing him so turned on in such a public setting only made you hotter and the sticky summer humidity wasn’t helping you either

But your boyfriend knows discipline and was able to control himself…. well until the bell rang

Now you’re his for a short time before he has to get to the gym

Two of Tsukishima’s fingers pinch your chin and force you to look up at him, his narrowed eyes glare down at you and it should make you feel nervous

… it doesn’t

The irritation radiating off of him in waves only makes you pout larger, purposely you push your lip out just to spite him

“What was that in there?” Tsukishima spits out in a hushed whisper, heavily referring to the last period when you sent him text after text of all the things you want him to do to you

“It was just a little teasing.” Your words fuel him to grab your wrist and place your hand flush against his crotch, the contact causes your thighs to clench around his leg 

“Little? What about this is little?” He sneered and you could feel yourself going light headed

“I-I’m sorry” Your apology is still not enough for him

“You’re sorry? Who are you apologizing to?”

“You, daddy” The words slip out of your mouth, fumble out so smoothly that you don’t even realize what you said until he stopped moving

At this Tsukishima’s glasses fog over, it’s like he stopped functioning and you fear that you may have broken him

Fuck, you can’t think it had gotten any worse….

It had

“T-Tsukishima practice started five minutes ago…” Hinata calls from around the corner and from where you are, you could have sworn you saw blood trickle out of his nose

“Come on daddy” Kageyama tries to tease but ends up gagging on the last word, covering his mouth to shield his laughter

The two third years walk off while they try to hold back their amusement, unable to look their teammate in the eye

By the looks of it…. You can’t handle looking your boyfriend in the face either

“Fucking brat.” Tsukishima rolls his eyes as you lay on your stomach, your hands tied to the bedpost with your ass high in the air. He continues to glare down at you and as much as you want to look back at him, you know better not to. You feel the bed dip and you nearly moan when his large hands grip at your inner thighs, spreading your legs apart so that he can touch your delicate slit. He flicks your clit and you bite the pillow beneath you. “Good girl.” Tsukishima praises, moving to rub three of his fingers along your soaked entrance, occasionally dipping his fingers to rub along your walls. You nearly whine when he removes his fingers and you can’t stop the moan that slips from your lips when he finally lays a brutal slap against your ass.

“Oh?” You can’t see his face but you know exactly what he looks like. In your head you can see the mild irritation covering his face as he stares down at you amusedly, you know how badly his cock is aching in his shorts at the redness covering your ass. “You like that, don’t you?” He sneers, smacking your behind a few times before going back down to rub your slit. He toys with your clit too much, giving you too much attention that you can’t hold any noises back. “What can I expect from such a dirty girl? Are you going to call me daddy again?”

You can hear him laughing and his words do nothing but make you clench around nothing, you push your ass higher into the air and moan loudly.

“Yes daddy, please.” You beg and nearly faint at how quiet the room gets. You’re almost afraid that you went too far, that he wasn’t ready for this just yet, but all your fears disappear when you feel his nimble length between your lower lips. Tsukishima preps himself in your natural lubricant as he tries not to cum from your words alone.

“Scream for daddy.” He chuckles darkly before entering you in one swift movement, his chest presses against your back and you see his hands on either side of your head. “So fucking tight.” Tsukishima grunts and pauses, trying to ignore how tightly you’re clenching around him. 

“Stop, if I fucking cum you’re cleaning it up.”  

[engekihaikyuu]

Hyper Projection Engeki Haikyuu - The View from the Top 2

2.5D Interview Translation with Asuma Kousuke

======

Since the show “The Strongest Team,” it’s been about two and a half years since you last played Oikawa. How did you feel when your casting for this show was decided? I really didn’t think the day would come when I’d get to return to Engeki Haikyuu. So when my casting my was set, I was so incredibly happy. This time I will be the only one appearing from Aoba Johsai. So that makes me a little sad, and I also feel some pressure since I’m responsible for representing everyone from Aoba Johsai and I carry the weight of all of their emotions. That’s the main challenge I want to overcome.  

=====

Full interview and more photos under the Read More! Please do not repost my translations

Asuma-san, your debut was with Engeki Haikyuu. And now this will be your final time portraying Oikawa, so please give us an insight into your state of mind. I’m only here because of Engeki Haikyuu, so I really am very grateful. I’ve never been able to play the same character for this long, so it’s the character I’m most attached to, and I feel like I understand Oikawa better than anyone else. This is going to be the grand culmination of eleven shows, and I want to make it the best production yet, full of all of the emotions of everyone in the cast and crew. That’s the “Summit” that everyone in this company is aiming for, and I will be only one portion of that.  

Asuma-san, you will be the only one appearing from Aoba Johsai, so is there anything in particular you’re conscientious of?   Even with only Oikawa on the stage, I think the atmosphere changes. And because I will be alone, I want to be even more unrestrained in how I present Oikawa. Even at rehearsals, I want to be calling so much attention to Oikawa that even the director will stop me. (laughs) I haven’t been able to join the others at rehearsals yet, but I’ll be the only one there who’s been a part of this from the very beginning, so I think everyone will come to me with their questions. Like, “Show us how you did this in previous shows” or “Show us an example of how to do that.” Although I’m not sure I even could... (laughs) I’m sure there will be times when people tease me like, “That’s no good!” but if I can make rehearsals lively with that, I’m fine. Also in terms of age, I’m somewhere in the middle of the group, and this is my first time in that situation. Normally I’m always teased by my senpai, but since I’ve been here since the very first show and I’ve been able to see and experience a lot, I hope that I’ll be able to give some advice to others. 

Are there any parts of your personality that you think resemble Oikawa? A lot of people around me say that I'm like him, but I don’t really think so. At first I thought we might be similar, but as I’ve gotten deeper into this role, I’ve become less able to say that. Right now, I can only say that I respect him. Oikawa has this one line that I like, which goes, “Talent is something you make bloom, instinct is something you polish!!!” In this world, there aren’t that many people you can call prodigies. Oikawa rose to the top with hard work, and I think it’s just too cool that I got to say that line! Even when I rewatch that DVD, I often feel like, “Wow I got a really cool line...”   Even Iwa-chan says to him, “Even when you’ve become an old man, you probably won’t be happy. Even if you won some big tournament, you wouldn’t be completely satisfied, because you’re an annoying guy who’s going to chase volleyball for his entire life.” Oikawa loves volleyball, he’s obsessed with it, and I have nothing but respect for that.  

Do you normally rewatch the shows you’ve starred in? It is embarrassing, so I don’t often rewatch things. There are things where if I watched them now, I’d think, “Man I sucked.” But when it comes to “Winners and Losers” or “The Strongest Team,” those are different and I used to rewatch them often even back then. I think to myself, “I haven’t done any other plays that are this rough. So I can do this!” They’re encouraging that way. Also I’m good friends with everyone in those casts. The sense of teamwork and friendship is very strong.  

Speaking of your teammates, you spent a long time together with the Aoba Johsai cast. Please tell us about a time during a past tour when you felt strongly about your connection with them.   There are a lot of things I can only talk about now. Everyone was my senpai, but at the time, we would argue a lot. Because we didn’t want to give in to one another. For the duration of the tour, we agreed that we wouldn’t have that kind of pecking order, and that’s how we were able to create those shows. There’s a scene in “The Strongest Team” when Oikawa says, “Thank you for the past three years!!!”, and when I saw everyone’s faces in that moment, I couldn’t stop myself from bursting into tears. I was just so glad that we really had become such a great team by that point.

Within the entire Engeki Haikyuu series, please tell us what you think is Oikawa’s best scene. The first is the opening sequence for the very first show. Because I was good at the count, I deviated from it to do a little double peace sign. And also that’s my very first scene as an actor. At the time, I was really nervous about even doing that one jump, but I’ll never be able to forget the view while facing the front of that stage. We don’t have any lines there, but it’s a scene that I have a very strong emotional attachment to.   The other one is from “the Strongest Team” when Kyoutani gets over himself and really becomes part of Seijoh. Oikawa has continued to trust in Kyoutani, and he continues to grind that gear into place. The result is a unified Seijoh to oppose Karasuno. When I rewatched that moment on DVD, I have this really great smile on my face. I’d kept such a serious expression up to that point, so I really enjoy that shift in expression.  

Tell us something we should look forward to for this show’s Oikawa. I think fundamentally he’s the same as when he was a high school student, so I think the highlight will be to see the parts of him that have changed with age. There’s a lot that wasn’t portrayed in the manga, so I’m personally looking forward to seeing how I can craft those portions on my own on-stage. I’m going to be fairly conscious of my manner and behavior, not just my lines. It'd be great if I can show his difference in age with how I carry myself. I also want to polish my jump serve more. My jump serve right now is the high school version, so I want people to see the change in form and power.  

Earlier you mentioned the line, “Talent is something you make bloom, instinct is something you polish.” What are the things that you will continue to make bloom or polish from here on? Tell us your vision of yourself as an actor. I honestly don’t know if I have any real talents. But for now I’ve continued to get work in this field, so someday I’d like to be able find my specialties while focusing on the work in front of me. In the future I’d like to go overseas, so right now I’m studying English and Chinese. Haikyuu is very popular all over the world. Every time I’ve gone to some other country, there are many people who tell me, “I’ve seen Engeki Haikyuu!” Because I’ve been able to perform in a production that’s this beloved the world over, I’ve come to think that I need to go out into that world! After this, I would love to become an actor that can work all around the globe.  

And lastly, please give the fans a final, exuberant message   In times like these, I think that entertainment and the arts are absolutely necessary. I know there are many things to be depressed about, but that’s exactly why I want people to watch Engeki Haikyuu and then gain some motivation.  This is a production where you can absolutely feel the passion whether you see it in person or through a screen, so I want people to see it whether through an official stream or on DVD.   At last, we’ve reached the finale. Please support us to the very end!  

=====

You can read the original Japanese interview here: (x)

Please do not repost my translations!  This includes screenshots of bits and pieces taken out of context, especially if they don’t link back to this full post. If you appreciate the work I do for this blog and want to support my translation efforts please consider donating a ko-fi! (x)

[sanguineness-wings]

home early

Pairing: Hawks x gn!Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ minors do not interact )

Warnings: Sexual content, hand jobs, lap sitting, all Hawks focused/receiving, established relationship

i haven’t written smut since 2013 and it shows. please be gentle. this is totally self indulgent. i’m always daydreaming about showering hawks with love while i work from home

The file you were working on (named final2-revision5_FINAL-FOR-REAL.psd) was saved with a relieved sigh. This client had been beyond difficult to work with and you were more than ready to be rid of them. With the file sent off for approval, hopefully for the last time, you stretched out your stiff limbs and groaned at the satisfying pops of your joints and spine. After being hunched at your computer all morning, you decided to treat yourself to a fresh cup of tea and some cookies.

When you returned to your computer and checked your email, your heart sunk at the multiple emails from the client. You swore loudly and banged your forehead against your desk a few times. You should have made coffee instead.

Hours passed with you hyper-focused on your screen and music blasting through your headphones, determined to be done with this project today, even if it killed you. Your phone sat neglected at the corner of your desk, even as it lit up with multiple text messages. You didn’t even hear your front door open sometime later. Or the voice calling for you from the living room. The press of warm lips against your cheek startled you out of your concentration, making you jump and rip the headphones from your ears.

Hawks, in all of his wind swept glory, grinned down at you, “Working hard?”

“I didn’t even hear you come in,” you breathed out, willing your heart to stop sputtering in your chest. It was honestly rare to see the hero while the sun was still up. “Did you get off patrol early?”

“Yeah.” Hawks pouted, turning to show you the little feathered nubs where his full wings should be. “I got plucked pretty bad.”

“Shit! What happened? Are you okay?” He didn’t seem hurt, but that didn’t stop you from trying to tug off his coat to make sure.

Hawks took one of your hands in his own and kissed at your knuckles soothingly, “I’m fine, chickadee. Promise. Just was a busy day. But! Bright side is I get a few days off.”

The motivation to get this stupid project done flared inside of you renewed. Nothing was going to get in between you and two whole days alone with Hawks.

“I just have a few things to finish up, then I’m all yours,” you explained as you turned back to your computer.

“Sure, I’m gonna shower quick,” Hawks said with a quick kiss to the crown of your head.

—

Warm, damp hands interrupted you sometime later as you furiously typed out an email to the client with murderous intent in every keyboard click. Hawks’ fingers ran through your hair as he hummed in your ear, “Almost done?”

“Almost…hopefully,” you grunted out, barely registering Hawks’ touch. You heard Hawks let out an exaggerated sigh.

“You promise?”

You hummed noncommittally, not breaking your gaze away from your screen. Hawks huffed loudly as he shuffled out.

—

The sun started to sink low in the sky, casting your home office in a beautiful pink and orange hue. It would have been a nice view, if you had time to admire it. But you were too busy working yourself to the bone.

You noticed a tickling at your neck and tried to brush it away, thinking it must be a piece of stray hair. But every few moments you felt the tickling again, no matter how you rearranged your hair. The tickling then traveled down your neck and into your shirt. You yelped, realizing the source of the tickling was a single tiny feather.

“Hawks! Stop it!” You shrieked as you dug around under your shirt, trying to catch the little puff of red. Hawks’ laughter reached your ears from the kitchen as you writhed, nearly falling out of your chair. He finally relented once you were red in the face with tears welling up in your eyes from the endless teasing. You shook out your shirt until the little feather fell out and returned to your work.

—

Hawks grew more restless the longer you worked, pestering you every so often for attention. But you were determined to finish up so you could relax with him tomorrow without this project looming over you. You ate dinner at your desk while Hawks sat on the floor with his own plate, chattering away about patrol or something. You were barely paying attention.

Once the plates were cleared away, Hawks’ patience wore out. He grabbed your hand away from the mouse and tugged, “Come on, that’s enough for one day, don’t you think?”

You sighed wearily and tried to shake your hand free from his. “I just have a couple more revisions.”

“I’ve been home for hours and you’ve barely looked at me!” Hawks whined, draping himself over your side dramatically.

“If I get this done now, we’ll have all day tomorrow together - Ow! No biting!”

Hawks left little stinging bites at your shoulder and neck, growling low in frustration. You grabbed at his face to push him away, squeezing his chubby cheeks between your fingers to make him look at you. “Listen. I’m patient when you have to work late, right? I just need one more hour.”

Hawks seemed to deflate a little and looked away with guilt in his eyes. You never once complained while he was away on long missions or had to cancel plans, you always understood when his job came first.

“Why don’t you sit in my lap while I finish up?” You suggested, rolling your chair back from your desk to make room for him. Hawks’ eyes immediately lit up and he eagerly scrambled to straddle your thighs. You pulled him in close by his hips as his arms looped around your neck, nuzzling his face into your hair.

“Better?” You asked, smiling against his shoulder.

Hawks hummed, wiggling to press himself flush against you. “Much better.”

It was nice being able to dote on him while you worked, wishing you thought of this sooner. The weight of him against you and the smell of his sweet shampoo was grounding, soothing away your frustrations. You pressed gentle kisses to his neck to make him sigh and played with the curls at the nape of his neck with a free hand. He cooed and hummed in a low, satisfied voice when your hand snuck beneath his oversized t-shirt to pet up his back. You rubbed slow circles into his smooth skin, eating up the way he pressed into each touch.

—

“All done, baby boy,” you whispered while pressing a kiss to Hawks’ temple. He had gone completely limp in your lap from all of the petting and little affections, making you think he had fallen asleep. You warmed your hands along his bare thighs, him sporting nothing but boxer briefs, earning you a spine tingling groan from the hero. He pulled back from where his head was buried in the crook of your neck, only to lean in to for a sweet, lingering kiss.

“Now you’re all mine,” Hawks murmured against your lips before his kisses turned more demanding. Your hands slid to Hawks’ ass, giving his cheeks a loving squeeze. It spurred his hips to buck against your stomach, the hard line of his cock pressing against you.

“Let me take care of you,” you sighed as Hawks’ lips found your throat. You wanted to make it up to him for basically ignoring him all day. Your hands toyed with the waist band of his briefs, loving the way you could hear his breathing hitch. Slipping inside, your fingers found the wet tip of cock, already drooling with excitement. You thumbed at the engorged head, making his hips jerk into your touch as you wrapped your hand around him, pumping him with languid strokes.

“Oh, fuck,” Hawks groaned as his head fell back, rutting into your hand. He gripped at your shoulders with trembling hands for leverage as his hips rolled. “Feels good, babe.”

You peppered kisses up his exposed neck, finding the little tender spot behind his ear to abuse by suckling at the soft skin. Hawks’ voice keened into a desperate whine as his fingers found purchase in your hair.

“Look at you, falling apart so easily for me,” you crooned into his ear, smiling at the way he shuddered.

“Don’t get too c-cocky there,” Hawks breathed out, stuttering when gave the tip of his cock a firm squeeze, “I haven’t even started with you yet.”

“Is that right? I look forward to it when you’re done leaking all over my lap.”

“F-Fuck, where is all this coming from, dove? Usually I’m the one running my mouth.” Hawks let out a breathy laugh as he tightened his grip in your hair, pulling you back to look you in the eye.

“I just want to make you feel good,” you whined out as you met his liquid honey gaze. “Is it working?”

A warm smile upturned his lips before he pressed his forehead against yours, “You know it is. You feel how much I’m squirming here.”

“I just wanted to make sure. Now, let me see you,” you hummed, pecking his lips before urging him to lean back. With your free hand you pushed up his t-shirt, nudging him to hold the fabric up with his teeth so you could watch the muscles of his stomach clench with every shock of pleasure. Your fingers explored the smooth expanse of his chest, teasing around his nipples before toying with the piercings there. Hawks groaned around the fabric in his mouth, his back arched to press further into your teasing touches.

You worked him through the throes of his pleasure as his skin flushed a lovely shade of pink. You decorated his chest and stomach with pretty little hickeys, drunk on the way every suck drew a moan from him. When you used your tongue to tease at the piercings in his nipples, Hawks completely broke. He hiccuped and swore loudly, though muffled by the fabric clenched tightly between his teeth, as his cock twitched and throbbed between your fingers. Thick strands of cum splattered against his chest and drooled down his twitching muscles.

“Aren’t you a pretty mess,” you moaned, drinking in the sight of him blissed out. You leaned in, lapping up the cum from his skin, making Hawks shiver and gasp at the warm, wet passes of your tongue. Hawks pushed you back firmly before you could finish to kiss you sloppily, chasing the taste of himself on your tongue. He nipped at your bottom lip before slipping off your lap, urging your thighs to part as he knelt between them.

“You better get comfortable, dove,” Hawks said with a wicked grin, his eyes sparkling with lustful intent. “We’re going to be here for a while. I want to hear you sing for me.”

His hands were already tugging your sweatpants down your legs impatiently, making you swallow thickly. Good thing you both had off of work tomorrow.

[thebluestbluewords]

HEIST HEIST HEIST

I saw this post today and got inspired, SO here is Descendants Could Have Been A Heist Movie, thebluestbluewords take :

(this is very much an outline and not a full fic yet, but I might yet write this someday)

Taking this whole heist movie idea very seriously, this would be (and might yet be if I have the time for it) a fic about how the first Descendants movie would have gone if it had been a heist movie, rather than a fairytale.

The main plot of the movie is no longer about learning to choose good and seeing that kids don’t have to follow in the footsteps of their parents- it’s now a high school political intrigue about stealing a wand.

(don’t worry about the larger themes there- the wand might be stolen for many self-serving reasons that go beyond 'doing what their parents say'. Maybe they’re stealing it to make a larger statement about opening the isle. Or about how treating villains as villains is wrong and they deserve trust because it makes things so much more fun for them in the long run)

(can you tell I haven’t decided on the overall tone of this AU yet lmao)

The story starts when the VKs are being told to get the wand, hand it over, it’ll be easy.

Sure, they say.

Sounds great, they say.

Give us your spellbook and magic mirror and whatever else you’ve got to give, and we absolutely won’t use them to betray you and open the isle on our own terms, they don’t say.

(this story ends before we get to that point, but the implication is there)

The kids arrive in Auradon, as in canon.

Unlike canon, they don’t immediately go for a break-and-enter approach to the museum, because if they’re going to heist this, they’re going to do it right. A good heist takes planning, and patience, and research.

What they do is wait until the weekend, and then inform the school admin that they want to get to know the culture of Auradon.

The museum seems like a great place to start, Evie says earnestly.

We didn’t have anything like it back on the Isle, adds Mal. It would be such a good learning opportunity for us.

And we could see the town. And the candy store. Say the boys.

The school admin caves, because it would be wrong to deny these kids a chance to get to know this history of goodness! They’re just teenagers, and they’ve been doing so well with their first week, and of course they can go into town, do they want a school car to drop them off?

They do not.

The museum is kind of a bust. They spend some time scoping out the security, but they’ve had a whole week to magically-google everything they can about this place, and it’s not much of a surprise that there’s a functionally unbreakable magical alarm system set up around all of the objects.

Time to reassess the plan.

(this is where the political intrigue comes in)

Ben is still a Fundamentally Decent (if slightly boring) guy in this.

Of course, he’s also the one on the line if this whole villainy exchange program goes wrong. It shouldn’t be a surprise that he would come to check up on his flagship students after they have a day out exploring the town.

Oho, Mal thinks. Here’s something they can work with.

Ben is sweet. He’s not terribly interesting, at least at first, but he seems like a guy who genuinely cares about the idea of bringing villain kids over, and can probably be manipulated to their purposes without too much effort.

So the VKs think over their potential plans to get the wand, and decide that yeah, if they can get an in with the future king of Auradon, that’s probably a pretty solid place to start.

Unfortunately, they decide to start this attempt by blatantly flirting.

Audrey is very much a political presence in this fic. She’s not evil by any means, but she is goal oriented and doesn’t necessarily love the idea of VKs coming in and altering her five year plan for herself and her boyfriend.

(I think Aurdey is an interesting character, and I wish she’d been given some better motivations in the first movie beyond ‘mean girl in a high school movie’. So in this fic, where they do still crown the incoming royalty at sixteen, they also believe in setting up children for advantageous marriages. Audrey and Ben have been pushed at each other since they were kids, and yeah, maybe there’s not a lot of actual love between them, but they’re friends and it’s way easier to just date each other and make their parents happy than refuse and risk losing the sway they get with their parents by being the good little obedient golden children who are happy to be put together if it’s what’s best for the future of the realm.)

The point of this is, the VKs send Mal in with her very best flirting, taught to her by Evie in a truly hopeless training montage, and it just-

Fails. Completely.

And now Audrey sort of hates them.

Great.

The other unfortunate piece of this heist is that the relationships between the co-conspirators, the core four, are….somewhat intense. Charged, if you will, with a certain kind of tension.

I’m not saying that Malvie hook up in their pink princess dorm room on the first night and then don’t talk about it for the rest of the story despite blatantly flirting with each other all the time, but yeah actually that might be what I’m saying.

This is the middle of the fic now, and there’s some kind of political drama that leads to the VKs finding out about the coronation.

Maybe it’s teammate bonding, because I think it’s tragically underutilized that Ben and Jay are canonically both sports bros and I want more of that sweet high school sports team drama content.

The point is, they find out about the coronation, and that the wand will be out and about during that day.

Oho, they say. An opportunity.

Building on the sports bros theme, Lonnie gets to be in this story! She’s a cool character and I have a couple of unfinished ideas for her kicking around my fic drive, so she’s going to be here too.

Lonnie finds the VKs in a somewhat compromising state of planning.

Uh, what the fuck is this, she says.

What do you THINK, says Mal, who is not known for keeping her mouth shut.

Looks like...some kind of statement that you’re going to make during the coronation, says Lonnie, who is a nice person and also didn’t hear/see all that much of the planning before she was noticed. (as I’m typing this up I am also remembering the School of Secrets shorts?? Lonnie is absolutely going in this fic as someone who spies on her new friends. It’s almost like canon. She’s the daughter of Mulan. She can sneak when she wants to)

Yes. Exactly. A peaceful political statement, says Evie, who is often a quicker thinker than the others. We are going to… sit at the front in protest. Of how we have been treated. As villains. We deserve the same respect as other students, regardless of who our parents are.

Lonnie is surprisingly on board with this, because honestly, based on some of her costume choices in d1, magical disney utopias seem to be overwhelmingly white for the most part and do not know how to support their international students very well.

(am I still mad about the awful dress she was wearing during the family day scene?? yes.)

So now they have Lonnie on board with their made-up protest plan, and they’ve got Ben and Jay being… actually bros, weirdly enough, and somehow there’s got to be high school political intrigue that I haven’t thought through yet (maybe a group who doesn’t approve of the villainy exchange program is trying to get Ben declared unfit?? Idk. Maybe it’s just different mini kingdoms angling for a good position, and it matters Very Deeply who sits where at the coronation and it’s a whole deal. That one probably works a bit better.) and it’s altogether getting Pretty Far Into Things.

Family day isn’t a big conflict in this AU, because the VKs don’t really care about the whole family gathering and party business without Mal being involved with Ben. They decide to have a chill time hanging out and plotting their heist instead. The wand is going to be taken out before the coronation, but rather than try and grab it in the middle of things, it’s got to be easier to grab it right before or after, while it’s in transport.

They have multiple people who can pick locks. People who can charm guards into letting their guard down for a bit. Ways of getting around even electronic lock systems, given some time.

They hang around the classroom a bit longer after their parent phone call, and get to talking with Fairy Godmother about how maybe, possibly, they could get a real place up at the front during the coronation. It’s a good distraction, and hearing more about the logistics of how things are going to go on the day itself is a perfect segue into asking more about the objects that are used during the coronation. It’s important to understand their new home! No other reason they’d want to know about the history and powers of her wand.

No other reason at all.

They learn that the wand is going into secure storage in Fairy Godmother’s office for the day before the ceremony. Of course, it’s going to be safe enough there. The magical wards at the museum are mostly there in case of emergency, and they’re really more about making sure none of the objects get damaged than they are about theft.

There are no more villains in Auradon, after all.

All things considered, it’s shockingly easy to break into Fairy Godmother’s office the night before the coronation. The wand is in a safe with some magic barriers around it, but Mal has her mother’s spellbook, and Evie has a magic mirror that can look up the answer to pretty much anything they ask, so it’s short work for a pair of magic users who have been practicing their spellwork since they day they left the isle to break the temporary barriers down.

There’s a regular human lock as well, and they give that one to Jay. He’s their lockpicking expert, after all.

And there it is.

Mal grabs the wand. There’s a surge of magical energy up through her hand, burning everywhere she’s touching the silvery metal, but in a way that feels like strength.

And all hell breaks loose.