#honestly cats is a very 80s musical and attempts to modernize it visually sort of takes away

[the-cat-at-the-theatre-door]

But if the wigs aren't 80s prom-picture-glam-rock-teased-to-the-rafters big then what's the point?

[jamestaris]

Event #2: Cake on Acland St then The Astor Theatre

Melbourne Bucket List [Click here to join: https://www.meetup.com/Melbourne-Bucket-List-Group]

MBLG Event #2: Having a Cake on Acland Street, then Watching a Movie at The Astor Theatre, St Kilda Saturday, 11 February 2017 On this day, my plan was to have a cake at Monarch Cakes on Acland Street, St Kilda, then to move on to The Astor Theatre, also in St Kilda. St Kilda is Melbourne’s most popular suburb when it comes to tourism, so I spent most of the morning online and in the Melways Street Directory, checking out my parking options. There’s nothing worse than getting to your destination quickly, only to spend the next 45 minutes trying to find a parking space – often at grossly overpriced rates. Even though I had earmarked several parking spots, I still decided to leave home early. I had seen some photos of Monarch Cakes online and there didn’t seem to be much seating inside the shop. If all the seats were taken when I got there, I was prepared to check out some of the other Acland Street cake shops. After all, the purpose of this day was to have a cake on Acland Street, and any of the four circa-1930s cake shops would suffice. So, I set out from home at 3.55pm and arrived at my destination less than an hour later. My parking research paid off handsomely, as I immediately found a parking space in Irwell Street, just a two-minute walk from Monarch Cakes. The parking rates were $5.10 per hour, or $12.30 for all day parking (ie. until midnight). Making the decision to pay for all day parking was easy because the first thing I noticed as I drove in to the carpark was a parking ticket on one of the cars. Better to be safe than sorry, I thought, and anyway, the movie wouldn’t be starting for another three hours. The weather was perfect, so bright and sunny. There were people everywhere, mostly in shorts, thongs and T-shirts. There were several tables on the footpath outside the cake shop, but I couldn’t see myself enjoying my cake with hundreds of pedestrians brushing up against me as they went on their summertime stroll along Acland Street. I quickly glanced inside the cake shop. It also had several tables inside. Not what I expected. A couple of them were occupied and another one was reserved. Luckily, there was still one table free. So, I dropped my panama and sunnies onto it, effectively claiming it, while I went to order my cake. The cake selection was very international: Polish Baked Cheesecake, French Vanilla, Sacher Torte Viennese Chocolate Cake, plus an assortment of gluten-free cakes. Ideally, I wanted to have something typically Australian. A pavlova, lamington or even a peach Melba (named after Australia’s famous opera singer, Dame Nellie Melba). Unfortunately, this was not that kind of cake shop! In fact, their specialty was something called a Kugelhopf. That just sounded too foreign to me. What could I possibly have that was somewhat Australian? Then I saw it. The label said, Continental Custard Vanilla, but I knew what it was to the Aussies. It was a Snot Block, and it was a bargain for only $5! Honestly, I’ve never had such a deliciously smooth Vanilla Slice in my life. No wonder these Acland Street cake shops had such a great reputation. My black coffee, at $3.50, was… well… just a coffee. Nothing special about that, but you need to have something with your cake. My cake disappeared in less than a minute. It was my coffee which kept me there for another hour, or so, while I observed my surroundings carefully. Monarch Cakes is the oldest cake shop in Acland Street. They’ve been there since the 1930s, and as soon as you walked into the shop, the décor made you feel like you were back in that time zone again. Everything was old, but not in a plush way. It had more of an Op Shop feel about it. Nothing matched. There were about 20 chairs in the shop and every one was different! Bookshelves lined one entire wall. They were filled with stacks of old books and magazines. They also had lots of framed photos of the shop owner with some special guests. I only recognised one of these guests. It was Michael Long, the famous Essendon footballer of the 90s. There were also several portraits of Marilyn Monroe, though I’m pretty confident that she’d never set foot inside this cake shop. I’d certainly recommend Monarch Cakes to my friends. The Astor Theatre is a Melbourne landmark. It was built in 1936 and is a wonderful example of Art Deco architecture. It is also the only theatre in Melbourne still with the traditional two-level auditorium. My earliest visit to The Astor Theatre was in the late 1950s, or early 1960s, when it was featuring Greek films for the burgeoning Greek community. Cinema attendance had waned since the introduction of television in 1956, so The Astor Theatre was grateful to have the Greek audience. Since then, The Astor Theatre has built a reputation for screening Art Films, Classic Films and the most popular Contemporary Films. Often, these films are screened as double features… for the same price of just one film! Actually, my visit on 11 February, 2017, made me realise that very little had changed. I arrived at 6pm and, because it was so early, there was still lots of free parking available on Chapel Street. I only had to walk about 80 metres to get to the theatre entrance. The wood-framed doors were such a contrast to the modern steel-framed cinema doors. Once inside, you noticed that everything was still done in the Art Deco fashion. The furniture, the carpet, the wall hangings and the movie posters… they all took you back to that era. There wasn’t anyone in the ticket ‘queue’, so I went to buy my ticket. It was so simple. I didn’t have to ponder over which film to see, or which screening time to go to. Today there was just one film choice: La La Land. And only one screening time: 7.40pm. Ticket prices were surprisingly economical: $17 Adult/$16.50 Concession. I remembered that this was one of the few places where you could still buy the traditional cinema Choc Tops: one scoop of ice-cream covered in a hard milk chocolate shell, sitting atop an ice-cream cone. They used to be just vanilla-flavoured, but now there were over a dozen flavours to choose from. I asked for a boysenberry, but after quite a few failed attempts to find one, I settled for the original vanilla (price: $4.50). I checked out every square inch of the theatre. The public spaces were huge and uncluttered, still emitting an aura of grand opulence. The main stairway led up to the Oval foyer which featured the Oval foyer cutting, visually linking the ground floor to the first floor. Some twenty years ago, I remember, they even had a theatre cat wondering around the foyer, quite happy to sit on patrons’ laps and get petted. I did look for it (or at least a replacement) but had no success with that. I’m sure the owners had a good giggle at the savings from not having to renovate the toilets. The toilets were still functional, but if they were in any other venue you’d refuse to use them. Having said that, I couldn’t imagine The Astor Theatre ever renovating them: that would just kill the atmosphere. The tickets didn’t have seat numbers, so when the doors opened at 7pm, I headed straight for the upper-level seating. Gradually, over the next 40 minutes, I watched as the 1,673-seat theatre filled virtually every seat! But the theatre patrons at The Astor Theatre are so different to your typical cinemagoers. Firstly, I didn’t see any children (although this was not really a kid flick), and the audience seemed to be mostly a young intellectual group. I may have got a hint of that when I noticed a number of patrons nursing a wine glass (wide bowl with long stem) filled with red wine. The lighting in the theatre was primarily from several large, bright and ornate chandeliers. The wall and ceiling were painted in soft pastel colours and framed with enormous art deco cornices and architraves. The seats were the old leather style seats pinned together with hundreds of studs. They don’t make seats like that anymore. As with the old theatres, the cinema screen was covered with a theatre curtain. At exactly 7.40pm, the lights dimmed and the curtains were drawn. First, they screened a few ads followed by several film previews. Then it was on to La La Land: a 2016 musical with an inspirational message. When the movie finished, the patrons applauded. The Astor Theatre attracts that sort of an audience: artists and intellectuals. On the way out, I grabbed an Astor Theatre Movie Calendar. Every 3 months The Astor Theatre prints a large (42cm x 59cm) full-colour calendar displaying which films will be screened each night. I can imagine many of these would end up on patrons’ walls, or at least on the back of the bedroom door: easy to quickly check to see what’s playing in the following days, or just to make your friends think you’re an intellectual. My first visit to The Astor Theatre was before I was old enough to go to school. I hope it’ll still be around for me to keep going there in the twilight years of my life. James Taris JamesTaris@gmail.com