#honestly and i mean honestly Alfons has the drive to do this but can't bring ppl together like Victor

[typewriting-robin]

Victor: Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.

William: I-I did, I broke it.

Victor: No. no you didn’t. Harrison?

Harrison: Don’t look at me. Look at Liam!

Liam: What? I didn’t break it!

Roger: Huh, that’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?

Harrison: Suspicious...

Liam: No, it’s not. Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!!

Ellis: If it matters... but it probably doesn’t. Jude was the last one to use it.

Jude: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!!

Ellis: Oh really. Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Jude:  I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles; everyone knows that, Ellis!

William: Ok... ok let’s stop fighting. I can pay for it.

Victor: No, who broke it?

Alfons: …. Elbert’s been awfully quiet.

Elbert: Really?!

Alfons: Yeah! Really!

Elbert: Oh my God.

(Everyone in Crown is bickering)

Victor: I broke it. It burned my hand, so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Victor: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.