#honestly I've learnt a lot about self love and loving being a woman from trans women

[beeseverywhen]

Something i want to add as a cis woman to anyone who's maybe in the position the op describes, and wants to come out but is fearing the rejection of cis women. First of all, I think it's important to note that terfs aren't exclusively dicks to trans ppl, they are just arseholes. They don't feel accepted by other women (because they are dicks so nobody wants to be their friend) and so they try and project that on to trans women and make you guys feel like you aren't welcome when you are

Honestly I don't know a woman whose reaction to someone they know coming out as trans wouldn't be 'extra female friend?!' 'I get another?!' and would be very excited to share all the stuff that they didn't think you'd want to share when they thought you were a male friend

I'm not saying this to try and make the conversation about cis ppl, because it isn't, this is about you guys- but I do often get worried that trans women might be made to feel unwelcome when they are exposed to a particular flavour of 'women hating on women' and feel like they are being targeted cause they are trans. terfs are such a vocal minority- there really are so few of them irl they just have this horrible mob thing going on where it seems like there are so many of them, I promise you most women you meet in every day life are either gonna be completely neutral on what your agab was, or more likely, are gonna be excited that they have one more female friend than they realised.

So much anti trans sentiment is just repackaged sexism (which is one of the reasons it's so ridiculous terfs are trying to call themselves feminists) all of the bullshit they are spouting about how they can recognise trans women as trans, is the same bullshit they were bullying cis women about before they found their little echo chamber of bullshit. Unless the women you come out to are dicks (in which case they don't deserve you) the most negativity you'll get is good natured confusion by someone who doesnt get it, most of us are just gonna be happy you're happy and pleased to have another woman in their life

However, you are (unfortunately) likely to hear sexist sentiments even from ppl who really are chill with you being trans. It's not fair and I think a lot of trans women unfortunately probably get to hear an unfair share of this (because a lot of it is based on unrealistic expectations of a 'perfect female body' based on like body shape and a level of hairlessness which lets be real, none of us have, no matter what our agab. Being afraid of 'looking too masculine' is a thing i think every woman has gone through in her life, even if it was when she was just a girl and she's fully over it. ) but unfortunately its really ingrained in a lot of women and therefore you hear it in a lot of female spaces. Now there's literally no excuse and I can imagine that hearing these things when you're trans definitely comes with another layer of hurt, but i hate to think that there are women out there who are thinking that a large percentage of women take issue with them being trans when in reality, that's such a small percentage of ppl (So small in fact that they've got to do all their harassing online and in echo chamber-y spaces like prearranged meet ups and stuff) and you're a lot more likely to hear sexism from ppl who are more than anything hating on themselves

Tldr: your loved ones will just be glad to have another woman in their lives and if they aren't they're a bag of dicks and definitely part of a minority of ppl. Strangers really won't care and will treat you like any other woman which often means being nice and warning ppl about toilet roll, but can sometimes mean being a dick to you. (terfs making out that women's bathrooms and other female spaces are these loving maternal spaces all the time are talking out of their arses.) there's definitely something special about the shared experiences between two women (whether they be cis or trans) and we want to share that with you guys, but the shadow of internalised sexism is real (its not about you, its about them) and that's unfortunately something you're gonna feel in these places sometimes just like every woman does

The worst thing you can do, as someone who has recently realised they are transfem, is to let terves and transphobes convince you cis women will never accept you.

I was told that when I came out everyone would reject me. That I would find myself isolated from the world, and from other women especially, who would react to me with horror and revulsion.

In reality, within the first months of coming out, in no particular order:

My sister's reaction on my coming out was, "Right, so I have a sister instead of a brother. Cool. I'm taking you clothes shopping tomorrow."

A friend, when she learned I am a woman, immediately invited me to her women-only, girls-night-out birthday party the following week.

Another friend, when a friend of hers expressed doubts about my gender, immediately shut them down and reaffirmed I am a woman.

I went camping with a group of friends, and we had two tents, one for the boys and one for the girls; I was unsure as to which I should enter, to which a girl friend responded by grabbing me and physically dragging me inside the women's tent.

In the women's bathroom at a movie theatre a random woman, whom I'd never seen before and haven't seen since, stopped me as I was going into a stall, to warn me there was no toilet paper in there, because she'd just used the last of it.

All of these, and more, some from friends, some from complete strangers. All within a few months, as a trans woman who hadn't started medical transition yet, and was very visible as being a trans woman.

I've had some people reject me, true, but the vast majority, including almost all cis women, accepted me as a sister with open arms.

Cis women are cool. It's terves who are bigots.